Tower Gang - Ep 139 - Live from Top Lobsta Ranch

00:00:00.000 it's power again wednesday motherfuckers

00:00:12.120 what's up retards i'm trying to start a call here baby so i can only fit a third of my dick

00:00:20.320 into toad's pussy you want to kill me or you want to give me a bone i don't know

00:00:26.640 when i say fuck the jews it means i'm horny

00:00:30.640 woe is me i'm retarded any of you guys ever had the mythical where they put the whole thing in

00:00:35.280 and then do that shit where they're the three of you had a threesome of some kind

00:00:41.040 i was watching it and jerking off

00:00:47.200 toad's on fire she was a 10 in real life she's like a dead eight

00:00:51.280 louis you're like a brother to me donald trump come on tower gang that is

00:00:57.280 our gang is the most offensive podcast fat dave fuck you man

00:01:07.040 it's not what this show is about this shit is retarded

00:01:13.440 what this show is about this is uh my mic on i think it is clint russell what's up

00:01:18.960 tower gang live irl bitch what's up we got the host of no way jose mr jose gellison the most jack

00:01:25.760 midget that's ever existed we got the until now until now the most jacked midget that has ever

00:01:32.640 existed he is the presidential candidate of the united states of america why nobody knows

00:01:39.520 we got the drunkest highest man that has ever barely broken five feet all coal is in the building and

00:01:46.480 then we got we got the host of top lobster.com as well as merch engine i'm here pushing buttons

00:01:52.000 you know i'm saying he's a button pusher i'm about to show you guys how to do this

00:01:56.000 shit surge who out lydia yeah yeah you guys sit back you guys and and you're lazy about it too

00:02:01.440 surge.com how about top lobster.com bitch what yes no it is top lobster.com i mean listen man i'm

00:02:06.640 about to show you guys how to skill it we're gonna push some buttons we're gonna play some sound

00:02:09.840 effects i'm gonna listen to audio and we are going to kill yo and he's gonna drop jokes whereas

00:02:14.160 surges should since they're like a motherfucking mute so what what surge come at me bro i don't

00:02:19.120 know why i'm picking a beef with that dude i love him i look so jack and tan from this angle i know

00:02:24.240 it's crazy how good this camera this angle rules and the other angle that i'm in on this side is

00:02:29.840 terrible back to you glenn the jack newscaster there's some trauma over there

00:02:38.480 crazy and you guys do look markedly more handsome than us on this side like we look tired and you

00:02:45.680 guys look like you just got out i am tired i'm really tired but just from like external things

00:02:52.080 not like me itself i had a very good day if you haven't been able to figure it out yet i wasn't

00:02:55.600 exaggerating that most high and drunk men on the planet i am extremely high and drunk i've been

00:03:00.640 drinking from like tops dad comes out and he was like hey do you want anything to drink my wife's like

00:03:05.920 i want some water he's like water like no no no no and then like so he put me full of rum vodka i've

00:03:12.960 had like like he has some jungle juice that he's been making okay i'll tell you i'll tell you the real

00:03:17.600 story after he's when he's done i'm done i'm done now yeah you can go ahead what do you think has

00:03:21.680 actually happened this is it's been repeated 15 times my dad said hey you want a rum and coke and

00:03:27.040 you were like sure and then he said there's some you know vodka over there if you want and then

00:03:31.600 cole poured the vodka and just got himself completely this is all let me tell you how

00:03:36.720 it's crazy all they're spending me eating me drinks they put me full they're trying to rape me

00:03:44.320 i'm just a little boy doing it to himself is it it's wild i just want to say how much i love

00:03:49.920 your parents they're so fucking new york they're like they're like apex new yorkers they're the best

00:03:54.640 okay i'm glad that's what you said about them for that one how is it something they're racist

00:04:00.080 it's fucking awesome i wish they were more racist but listen i was trying to like segue

00:04:05.280 into this joke and this is kind of like fucked up but i'm a little worried so you've been drinking

00:04:09.120 like like no tomorrow i mean yeah and you're okay i mean you're on the pockets you're okay

00:04:14.880 toad has not been drinking not once he took a sip last night literally literally the sip that

00:04:20.080 you're like you would give your son like your your two-year-old son if you're giving your two-year-old

00:04:24.960 son like yeah like a beer this is the sip that i i gave toad whenever like he drank last night from

00:04:30.240 some moonshot it was literally nothing and and what's been happening all day today toad uh i've been

00:04:37.120 vomiting it's crazy it's like it's like cole just like manifested his demons on toad

00:04:43.360 for real though has anyone actually seen him puke or yeah no no no yeah it was out there

00:04:49.280 i still any story medically related i hold in the highest disbelief when it comes to him projectile

00:04:55.520 projectile vomited that's reasonable all right but honestly i think like i think like wait so

00:05:01.120 you're saying that you just don't believe him at all no i didn't no no you guys pay attention to me i

00:05:10.160 i mean literally literally one of his stories is that he for years of his life he got a severe

00:05:16.400 headache that crippled him every saturday i don't know why yo but i believe him i wasn't even drinking

00:05:26.640 back then man i i was just an obese bastard i wasn't even drinking i was just a liar

00:05:33.440 no it makes me feel bad about all these toads toads ailments things because i'm like these were legit

00:05:37.440 yeah i know i'm starting to like wait is he telling the truth there's just no way you get

00:05:43.600 a headache on a clock you go six days out of every week and then on saturday it's like good days like

00:05:50.240 nah it's not i don't know i feel like the more rare and exotic toads ailments are the more true

00:05:55.680 the more believable yeah yeah like the less true is like i mean he did stroke out but then he also says

00:06:00.800 like like every week he's pretending like he almost got hit by a car i don't buy any of that

00:06:04.800 he's so neurotic that's not really a medical condition no but but like it could lead to one

00:06:09.600 he's so neurotic though i could genuinely believe it's psychosomatic which for you neanderthals that

00:06:14.560 means like he literally convinced himself into it oh this this now he just called us neanderthals

00:06:20.720 i'm glad you explained it you don't know what that is you're right i didn't know what it meant but

00:06:25.280 fuck you i don't like your tone man i feel like i feel like at some point toad when he like maybe 10

00:06:31.440 years from now he's like because he has to be like okay i think of things that actually happened

00:06:34.480 when i'm this old 55 65 whatever you're gonna be um he's gonna be like cancer but he has to like

00:06:40.400 do like something crazy he's like i got left pinky cancer and that was pinky toe but yeah you're right

00:06:50.880 you got left pinky cancer and he's just like no i seriously i got them we're all like what

00:06:54.640 like this doesn't make any sense like no seriously i got left pinky cancer no i said it's a team man

00:07:00.320 it's really a team believe me i got this cancerous ting on my fingies it was bob marley it was all

00:07:08.560 clown shit and you know that yeah don't don't get him started and he told me to drop today we were in

00:07:13.520 the pool and then top just dropped i just floated over to him like you want to hear something real

00:07:17.280 crazy he does he comes up he's like i guess through for you um clowns are actually like

00:07:22.960 demons and they're like he's like demons started clowns by the way like they're all white i'm not

00:07:28.720 allowed to say red hair i'm not allowed to say what uh what they actually are right on the show

00:07:33.680 like the same way toe is not allowed to oh yeah yeah you'll get a swirly yeah you'll just yeah

00:07:38.000 sorry they're nephilim yeah thank you yes i i got it for you we're not gonna do this for you we

00:07:44.480 will not talk about your presidential like campaign just to help you out like we'll do

00:07:48.400 it for each one right now i love it how you guys think that you're just gonna take away with me

00:07:53.440 with like this little but like it i don't know i'm not one who gets like irritated like that so

00:07:58.320 i just i don't feel like you seem pretty irritated because you just pretend we don't know what

00:08:01.920 psychosomatic jose jose what is being condescending what if this is part of the entire psyop

00:08:09.280 yeah i'm just saying it's not beyond maybe we're stupid or maybe we're like real fucking genius

00:08:14.000 where did the nephilim clown thing i remember hearing you say that no seriously go ahead

00:08:17.760 we're telling the story go ahead say it without go ahead it's great no it's really great do the

00:08:21.200 random move and you go hold on this is the guy this is the guy's podcast that i watched that i saw it on

00:08:26.160 the raven go follow this guy oh yeah i'll leave him up there i just love how nephilim or wherever

00:08:31.280 the fuck you want him to be he had this guy

00:08:33.520 there's a nephilim right here behind me it's crazy it's really whatever i want it to be

00:08:44.160 you are right i i said the word again she's pretty she's pretty short for a nephilim i don't know i

00:08:49.200 don't know dude they're making them all kinds of sizes now i read they're evolving i read they're

00:08:54.400 evolving i swear to god i've seen every sam triple a episode with every different description of

00:08:59.200 nephilim like pick a fucking nephilim isn't isn't it true though like the jews are responsible for

00:09:06.000 the existence of nephilim because it's are you capable of saying jews without anger it's so

00:09:12.000 weird he's like jews millennia busery he could put jews in anywhere in a sentence and it would still

00:09:21.280 come out like jews it's like i love the jews you serious scum no they they have this like uh third

00:09:30.480 book which this is what ari talked he mentioned in his uh special they have this third uh religious

00:09:35.760 text they have that you're that one right there the book of ena that you're not supposed to open

00:09:39.280 it's called it's called like zoltan or some shit oh shit zoltan's dope i don't know something with a

00:09:43.680 z and in there there's one passage in there that talks about how every time a jewish boy masturbates

00:09:50.640 he's actually being ridden by a demon yeah yeah and impregnating her and creating we happen to have

00:09:58.400 a dream-based demon woman here so i guess that's not off limits god damn it unfortunately because we

00:10:09.040 all have headphones and mics like i don't think it was hurt i think we're all right oh no no yeah

00:10:12.560 i think i think we're good i think i definitely saw disapproving oh okay okay i didn't even look

00:10:16.800 over there i'm like i don't really know it's the best thing about wearing headphones just like the

00:10:20.160 outside world doesn't exist right for right now i have no wife no kid nothing i am i am a free man

00:10:25.840 i like that i think it's off i'm like oh pain i like i like that coal like despite barely being

00:10:32.960 functioning is still drinking and no one else is it's awesome that's commitment to the

00:10:37.200 fucking game i think coal is more functional i literally the thing is it's like you know i try

00:10:42.560 to get what i look like now but that meant like giving up everything else right and so when i can

00:10:48.400 get it i had to give up everything i gave up sex it was not my wife keeping it from me it was me

00:10:54.640 keeping it from myself

00:10:55.760 to be elite you just can't come for three months no hey have you seen him in person um up until now

00:11:07.360 since he got all swolled up he looks a little better i guess oh that's it that's all you're

00:11:10.960 gonna give him the passive aggressive disrespect he's so he's such a fucking dick palpable and i love

00:11:16.560 him when i was by the way i was the first when he came here he just showed up like he didn't announce

00:11:21.120 anything he just came in now i was the first one to get up and give him a hug and greet him i waited

00:11:26.000 until he got in the water because i fucking i have self-respect

00:11:30.960 i am what's funny is i'm pretty sure i am the one that everybody that came here i was the first

00:11:35.440 to meet because when you got here i was the first one because because you are you are a human

00:11:40.400 labrador retriever i can't wait to get i'm so excited yeah yeah that's weird because i'm

00:11:45.120 surprised cole hasn't killed himself he literally did the move where he rose out oh oh i got you

00:11:50.480 call back

00:11:56.080 but i just i just i just love you all so much and then like i'm but to me in my mind i'm thinking

00:12:00.960 like does anyone else feel this way no no no everyone else is coming in just like bro bro another

00:12:05.600 weekend i'm just like let's go no what are you talking about bro as soon as i got in here i gave

00:12:10.000 you a big hug i was happy as a motherfucker so you're tripping but if i were to die you wouldn't

00:12:13.920 care and that still hurts me bro it does feel like this is work to everybody else and toe and

00:12:19.200 cole's on vacation that's what it's been feeling yeah this entire vibe i disagree i feel like this

00:12:24.080 is as a matter of fact look at but look at the look so you got black black i i don't white yeah

00:12:29.440 oh my god it really is holy shit it's a funeral this is this is this is business and he's over here

00:12:35.360 on pleasure time to be fair though i'm drinking moonshine and ginger ale and and cocaine

00:12:43.280 where's that shining it's it's out there you want some

00:12:48.160 it's a whole to do it's a hold to do it's a hold to do

00:12:52.800 they're going to get it for you no you have

00:12:54.800 bitches i don't even treat vacation forget it forget it the joke's passed no no go ahead

00:13:00.160 you got it i was going to say nephilim succubus could you please get this

00:13:08.400 i think it's inappropriate if i put my mouth on him no you should deep throat it

00:13:13.440 if you're going to drink from the bottle you got to deep throat it just stick to the dope yes

00:13:17.280 yes yes i like how jose asked if it's appropriate when he already did that like

00:13:22.080 yeah he did is this appropriate the difference is people weren't looking the part that i didn't

00:13:27.120 like was that he went over the nub there and i was like that made me feel a little uncomfortable

00:13:30.880 no that's like dude that's that's someone's food that's definitional that's definitional

00:13:34.640 mythical because if you can actually get the balls in the mouth wow yeah

00:13:40.480 show it to the audience here hey you know what if you can if you can get the balls in the mouth

00:13:44.640 that's a mythical i think we should go around the table see if you can get the balls in the mouth

00:13:47.760 i'm not doing that yeah no you get to uh then you were gonna get to go first

00:13:54.080 oh he's so close i literally got this with my teeth which stopped i almost came thank you for

00:13:59.680 trying which one is gonna make two oh my god oh my god please don't do that no well he did it he

00:14:07.440 did it right after jose did it which makes it particularly good no i saw that i saw that bottle cap

00:14:13.120 coming off in his throat and him just choking and dying here yo if he died just like crypt daddy did

00:14:18.480 he's so embarrassing he's so turned on he won't take it out but like yo yo hey hey but the major

00:14:24.400 raging boner you want to die you want to give me give me a boner all right you want to kill me

00:14:33.040 the crazy thing is though like crypt died because he he's crippled and he can't get the pizza out of his

00:14:36.880 mouth toad would die just because no one cared about him enough i'm right here i see him doing

00:14:43.840 it i'm just laughing oh look at this clown i gotta say it's a very ballsy move to deep throat something

00:14:49.920 after you just projectile vomit i don't care about the sanitaryness of it but it's like you're almost

00:14:55.680 daring yourself to throw up again every everything everything that toad does today makes me think he is

00:15:00.480 more chad than he is because he he just he calls clay he goes like yeah clint has erectile dysfunction

00:15:05.520 and that's why i have more teeth in him he just he goes like i just threw up i'm gonna deep throw

00:15:10.240 this and like everything he does it's just like i'm the most chad most testosterone fueled men out

00:15:14.720 of any of us it's insane all right you guys want to get to some mail i don't know i don't think they

00:15:19.120 like what you just did there toad you're creeping out our audience i looked over and it was like

00:15:23.760 he was quivering within his mouth i enjoyed it too much oddly i was quivering too you want to put

00:15:31.360 this away what i i deep-throwed it you deep-throwed it yeah yeah if you watch i did it i swear to god

00:15:38.400 i put it all the way i my my like my top teeth touched the uh the balls i i'm gonna need confirmation

00:15:45.200 that he did that granted by the way like if you literally suck my own penis it's crazy dude that's

00:15:50.560 that it's about that length dude that's like a two-inch dick like we're impressing her that's

00:15:55.600 my wife that's probably four inches right i feel like i feel better about mine i feel like we can't

00:16:01.200 keep up this kind of like let's say we had the opportunity to do this live more often we can't

00:16:05.600 keep this kind of energy up this is this is hectic you think i will yeah i would literally get

00:16:09.360 shit-faced every time we do it it's not it's not feasible for like you gotta break i'll die

00:16:14.560 cause liver damage it's not sustainable but it's plenty feasible he can do this three four

00:16:21.280 years before his liver sustainable is what i mean like yeah but i also mean like the frantic level

00:16:25.440 of whatever was just happening right now was it's very crazy i know it's an amazing thing top cocaine

00:16:31.200 is a hell of a drug yeah that's true and and i personally i like the fact that everyone other

00:16:35.920 than top and i uh lacks complete self-respect and is willing to deep through the bottle i think it's

00:16:40.080 great yeah i'm not gonna do that no it's not gonna yeah me and clint will be on ryan dawson's

00:16:45.200 show later and these fucking faggots won't this is this is why he invited you and i by the way i

00:16:52.000 just wanted this you know because i can deep through this i am going to make it to the apocalypse where

00:16:55.840 the trannies like take over the world and i'm just gonna be deep-throating and then be like that's

00:17:00.400 god's like we need him in this y'all dead 100 dead because you like you didn't show that you could

00:17:05.680 deep-throat trannies cop i don't think you're thinking about this deeply enough if i have to

00:17:09.040 deep-throat trannies to stay alive not doing it oh i thought you were saying that's my best that's

00:17:14.640 my dream i thought you were about to be like wait wait based on based on your lore

00:17:21.200 wait i don't have to pay for that they do it for free for free we all did it clip what are you a

00:17:26.800 faggot this is just deep i just get i get this to live what are you okay what are you faggot deep

00:17:33.280 throat this all right do we have any mailbag it's kind of interesting that like i don't i

00:17:39.680 wouldn't consider that deep do we have a mail me neither yeah i would consider a throat like i

00:17:44.800 didn't even make it out of like my my mouth hole yeah oh my wife just came in they all just deep

00:17:50.560 throated our moonshine that's it's okay though i'm surprised your wife came in here she hates you

00:17:56.080 you no she likes me you i think she likes me i think this is total chaos right now we're going

00:18:03.280 to mailbag mailbag yeah all right conspiracy extremist god even as a producer he's still

00:18:09.680 fucking he's just not ready it's incredible yeah my phone keeps turning off clint uh conspiracy

00:18:15.440 extreme i was yeah i know because you know that there's a setting to like not make it not do that

00:18:19.200 always on kill that i'm not gonna kill my battery uh we're right next we're right next to outlets

00:18:25.120 and you're talking about killing oh no hold on because i thought you were i thought you were

00:18:29.040 a computer engineer or something yeah okay yeah software engineer doesn't understand basic he

00:18:35.120 doesn't know how to charge a phone it's okay okay this is weird it's just weird that it keeps

00:18:39.120 happening like this they they teach you that fourth year at langley go ahead still he hasn't read the

00:18:42.800 mailbag nope because he's gonna have to enter his code in again let's see how many let's see let's

00:18:48.000 see how many times we can get him to to let it black out and then unlock it let's see how many how

00:18:53.280 how many times have we memorized his his law code by the way by the way last night someone in the

00:18:58.480 chat saw him enter his code and said yo i know your code just so you know that was that was ribble

00:19:03.520 bibble who was also saying he's like 20 minutes away from me which he isn't right now because i'm in

00:19:07.600 florida so come get me faggot ribble ribble bibble go to his house right now and throw something

00:19:12.960 through his window yeah so he knows molotov cocktail his entire try to figure out where i

00:19:18.400 burn top belong not top burn toad's belongings and just like destroy his whole life can we can

00:19:24.160 we have the phone we get it we have somebody that can actually read read mailbag give me the phone

00:19:28.400 no all right all right give me the phone toad he's not happening so give me the

00:19:32.960 he's so upset about this give me the phone we have a special guest to read mailbag you can't do it

00:19:38.640 bro he has so many dick pics on that phone he's not going to turn it over that's right i'm not

00:19:42.400 turning that over to josey please come in now now we're going to pressure him in here please stand

00:19:48.320 in the shot just just hold it for her toad you goddamn paranoid phone all right mailbag okay

00:20:00.240 all right so this one first yeah okay all right conspiracy extremist

00:20:05.440 if you had to remove one member of tower gang who would it be no and who would you replace them

00:20:13.520 with oh i see oh the replace with changes this whole thing wait are we all answering this

00:20:20.560 who would who would we remove so so so the thing is if it was just removed we couldn't do toad that's

00:20:26.160 the whole thing like we couldn't he does so much for the show unfortunately yeah cole cole are you still

00:20:30.560 pretending he does so much for the show he does dude i saw today dude he gets on rumble and he

00:20:35.760 becomes like this like just robot like he sets up the stream i do it for my own show it's not that

00:20:41.200 complicated yeah you haven't done it when we have even when you have a band account he struggles with

00:20:44.400 it because he's retarded that's not a hard thing to do it's not and i'm retarded so i'm seeing him

00:20:49.840 and i'm thinking it's like a really hard like you're severely retarded so you see retards struggling

00:20:54.560 and you're like whoa that's hard he does so much all right maybe they are retarded i've been

00:21:00.320 paying attention to their behavior lately i'm like they don't move quite right yeah

00:21:05.680 i don't i don't move right something off like in my head in my head i'm just like moving around

00:21:12.800 just like suave and stuff like but if we're on everyone's just seeing like all right to answer

00:21:17.600 the question uh i mean it's it's obviously cole and i'm replacing him with uh shane uh gillis

00:21:25.600 no honestly i'm actually glad you said that that means i'm on you said that i'm in i'm in the line

00:21:32.640 it's a compliment of shane yeah yeah i mean that's why i have to replace because like yeah

00:21:36.640 i'm replacing him with uh adam nutter you're like

00:21:38.880 damn

00:21:40.960 i mean i just want shane gillis on the show that it's like i don't want to kick anybody off i just want

00:21:51.760 one shane gillis that's not the game okay okay okay you're fucking midwit all right look

00:21:56.960 it's the game i don't remember the question obviously if i yo if i have to choose i'm

00:22:00.560 going to choose toe because he's not going to be alive very long so like i need to replace i just

00:22:04.240 think that's a fatal fatal mistake you're trying to get in before and you go like a rising star

00:22:08.880 within a podcast like producer community yeah that way you'd be like i'm i'm selling high

00:22:13.360 buying low right this is very easy right i'm a rising star host of better off dead

00:22:20.960 yeah by the way it is technically true yeah he is yeah i'm going to jose yeah i can't get

00:22:26.480 in there wow yeah that's fair yeah he's being quiet because he knows

00:22:30.960 i'm gonna say he's like damn now that you're no longer using my streaming art account i'm pretty

00:22:37.440 expendable as a matter of fact

00:22:41.360 you can just you can just go right now if you want i would boot him just for being like the

00:22:45.760 most lackadaisical about this show he's like he rolls in like 15 minutes before we start it's like

00:22:51.440 he doesn't really care this shows an almost do for him and it's like hey it's not a to-do it's just

00:22:56.640 an almost do so he's like all right i can get to it and he gets to it i suppose if i can get to it

00:23:00.880 in between my reading 9 11 you say i guess i'll be there yes he's like in between gorilla stomping

00:23:09.040 and eating bananas and reading i like the idea that he walks around his entire house like

00:23:16.560 on his knuckles he walks on his knuckles he gets to the library he gets to the room where he reads

00:23:22.160 and he's like yo he's got he's he's got a library that stretches 12 feet in the air but he doesn't

00:23:26.800 have a ladder because he's a gorilla

00:23:30.160 the funny thing is that's like pretty accurate

00:23:34.720 that's how my kids make fun of me

00:23:37.360 dad gets up

00:23:41.360 dude it's funny because you legitimately anytime i hear you talking about actually

00:23:44.880 fucking you just say gorilla

00:23:46.800 fucking you don't mention in any other like he never says like oh i made love to my wife he's

00:23:51.120 just i gorilla fucked her well there's like it's all he does he only goes to gorilla

00:23:55.120 he thinks he thinks it's a brag but it's literally the only way he can

00:23:59.760 i can make love for how do you believe but it always ends in grill

00:24:04.480 i don't know how someone can like and that's what they want

00:24:08.400 i don't care what they say that's what they want i don't want to see him do it

00:24:11.760 actually ever finish the completion with a slow

00:24:13.840 fuck yeah gorilla

00:24:15.120 fucking what do you mean what do you mean by this clip immediately yeah just like yeah i just

00:24:21.520 i'm gonna be better at sex than all these fucking proves

00:24:26.000 all right top who you who you booting who you hiring yeah yeah sorry jose you're out uh who am i

00:24:30.960 hiring who am i hiring i mean i haven't thought about that what's tyler perry doing these days

00:24:38.640 yo i feel like we should jack big j from legion no we need it we need a midget would we be allowed

00:24:44.080 we need we man no we get we man joe rogan joe rogan yeah us the delegates request joe rogan

00:24:52.080 joe rogan will be joe rogan or we man i'll go we man for mine and you go we're working for yours

00:24:57.280 yo yo yo we trade a white for a black like the uh the olympics we go we go chapelle for toad

00:25:03.600 the hell yeah opposite sides of the spectrum yo we trade we trade toad to the blacks and we get

00:25:11.120 dave chapelle

00:25:15.120 this cracker just threw up on my lawn

00:25:16.800 do you know how do you know how

00:25:20.000 fucking brief his existence would be in the hood it'd be hilarious he'd be chewed up and spit out

00:25:25.680 i don't think so i think toad you think toad would get along fine in the hood yeah you're out

00:25:30.000 you're out of your mind i think he already does everyone brought up multiple times in the chat

00:25:33.440 the one that makes the most sensory places read yeah oh yeah that's how much of like we don't even

00:25:40.000 consider him to be on this show that we just started going after each other yeah

00:25:43.600 yeah we could have we could have taken the easy way out but whatever yeah but wait listen

00:25:47.440 you guys pay for this they pay for this mailbag right yeah so it's like we're giving you your

00:25:51.920 money's worth i just i just want everyone to notice no one kicked me off because everybody

00:25:55.520 knows i'm the money maker baby what's up it's crazy but once that dries up no no i i we were

00:26:01.440 non-kickoff buddies oh yeah yeah and the second that dries up he's out of here we've already

00:26:07.280 we have a behind clint's back chat yo i gotta know who my replacement is when you guys fire

00:26:13.200 this is actually a good one oh god i do this every day clint for ian crosslin yo ian's ian's good

00:26:18.960 man yeah he's good he's fucking wild he couldn't match what you do it would not be the same it would

00:26:25.440 be a totally different show no yeah he he i don't think he's capable of anywhere close to what we do

00:26:30.160 on the show here's the thing it would be it would have to be you for dave smith and that's a legitimate

00:26:35.120 yeah yeah no dave and dave obviously would be great i think it would be the it would be him for dave

00:26:39.600 smith uh me for shane gillis do we want dave smith i'd say his skanks plus what he did like the the

00:26:46.800 tiny bit of libertarian stuff we do i think would be perfect okay we would have to treat him like

00:26:50.960 how we do random where we can't let him talk too long yeah you'd be like all right dave cool wrap

00:26:54.880 it up you got your own show for that all right dave sorry all right dave excuse me succubus succubus

00:27:01.360 we have another we have another question oh jesus christ yeah succubus

00:27:08.720 well i mean that's that's what your dream was wasn't it

00:27:11.760 just tell me your password i'm a siren not a succubus thank you okay okay you can't swim

00:27:18.560 thank you for clarifying all right um from jack did toad carry on his weight

00:27:25.440 set onto the plane that's worded really terribly yeah okay did toad carry on his weight set onto the

00:27:33.440 plane we all know his weight set qualifies as a small personal item oh god damn that was just

00:27:43.280 killing it that was a question that was like hey toad fuck you listen listen i i i

00:27:49.840 she didn't even care that jesus that was cold as ice i i the airline had already told me that my

00:27:57.120 small personal item was used up by my dick and that's what honestly that's the best way that's

00:28:04.320 actually no that's a really good joke it really is because he said it's both like i i i rethought it

00:28:08.880 i rethought it that was a really good one it's really it's it's so because you think about it

00:28:14.080 and that's when you laugh it's one of those jokes like a minute later you go oh my god if you wrote

00:28:18.080 it down it would appear immediately to you for only only for cole would it take a minute to process that

00:28:24.160 joke he's like he's like a minute later he's like oh i think i think we should all go to a comedy

00:28:32.640 special and just see me like two minutes later also dude dude someone said gerald salente you

00:28:38.880 remember him oh yeah dude he's wild he'd be he'd be funny he'd be amazing we're on to the next mail

00:28:44.560 back here yeah head him on he's no way he's not comfortable with everything i think yeah he's from

00:28:50.720 new york he's who is he who is he gerald salenti yeah who is he like imagine like joe pesci yeah he's

00:28:56.640 like he's like from from judge knapp's uh you know like crew in new york just like these old

00:29:02.160 political commentators that are gangsters as fuck that was the previous mailbag i don't know why we

00:29:06.320 care but i will also respond to this particular mailbag by also saying that are you mad right now as

00:29:12.800 yes as as clint had uh pointed out during the previous mailbag that ian crossland cannot uh compare

00:29:19.760 to any of us on any of these levels right he cannot curl a 30 like i can bitch you're right you're right

00:29:25.600 but in fairness neither can you so i mean no i'd give him he got like like the half

00:29:32.240 bullshit that he did is is still like i think i think i think he could for real do 20s he can't

00:29:38.400 you can't i don't think you can lock out a 30 i don't think so not quite yeah but but ian's doing

00:29:45.840 threes so like why have you never tried you can do it i don't understand i i want to see him as a

00:29:52.400 professional power lifter i think he he has the perfect mold like about you do have a perfect

00:29:59.520 mold uh no you have a perfect mold for like i think that's gross to just to just like pull heavy

00:30:05.120 fucking oh put it away god he's it's a imperfect circle oh god get that check out i i know no i

00:30:12.960 thought it was the mental stuff it's the cancer that's gonna kill you yeah dude yeah you're right

00:30:17.200 yeah and it's and this is i feel bad all right i'm really trying yeah but toad who are you replacing

00:30:23.520 yeah no toad you're lost yeah you get to replace and he's gonna go too he's gonna say me i know

00:30:27.600 he's gonna say me go ahead i thought i thought i already answered i already answered i said reed

00:30:32.240 oh that's all

00:30:33.120 i want to be everyone's friend toad who do you really want to trade instead of reed no who you

00:30:41.840 dave smith because no no no no no it's like he doesn't get the question it's amazing the real

00:30:47.520 the real people what are we talking about us all the people here everybody in this room besides reed

00:30:54.240 who you who you add and and who you add yeah but most importantly who you've replaced who's the

00:30:59.280 meanest to you oh god oh that's a good question but then it's high keep in keep in mind that top

00:31:05.680 actually does the most work for the show just because that's what i mean just because the

00:31:08.800 meanest like like think about how that would affect the show because i'm thinking of myself right

00:31:12.480 away go ahead yeah well it's i mean it's obvious i think it's crazy that we went around everybody

00:31:17.600 said this and he sat there with the completely wrong question and said now we hit him with the right

00:31:22.400 question i see that you're baffled like you didn't hear it at all like and and this is why we all

00:31:26.160 fired him because he just doesn't enjoy it's also it's why we also all love him because he is just

00:31:31.520 no i know i'm kidding okay so who still you oh yeah yeah he doesn't like you it's so crazy

00:31:40.640 he invited you to his house you picked him up from the airport yeah you fed him there's an animosity

00:31:45.360 you loved him you made love to him i mean it was just that's right that's there's malice in that

00:31:50.720 i am hurt yeah yeah it like like we all went around the table we're all having fun with it

00:31:55.440 and he's just like i don't fucking like you well i don't like this guy well and you know

00:32:04.080 well just just to take that a step further the replacement would be a little dicky

00:32:11.200 that's just mean yeah dude that's like i feel like there's two things that could be happening here

00:32:15.840 one he's trying to do some like real like weird comedy right and it's not landing two he's never

00:32:22.240 done that before he really he has but two he really means it no no no no here's three no i think

00:32:28.800 he means it here's three three he's gay he knows that if he can call you he can say replace you with

00:32:33.760 little dicky because he knows then you like little dicky you like him he's a really good guy and you

00:32:38.640 can't be like i don't like man that sucks i block little dicky no no no he's not look not oh i'm

00:32:47.200 thinking i'm thinking dicky sorry i'm thinking just dicky wait wait wait oh you wanted to bring back

00:32:51.040 little dicky for real i thought you meant to bring back little dicky to sit in this place right here

00:32:57.200 think about how wild that would be he's talking about putting little dicky imagine little dicky sitting

00:33:01.360 here are you retarded it can't be real but then you think like it might be real that was on the

00:33:10.320 fly the best impersonation anyone's ever done and he loves my uh crypt daddy impression earlier

00:33:17.040 today it was great it was great that was amazing and read for some reason i could do read um listen

00:33:24.960 for real though conspiracy extremists is throwing this question out there trying to like

00:33:28.720 divide us he's he's trying to he's he's he's an extremist a conspiracy yeah the the gang is too

00:33:36.640 strong it's not gonna happen man are we are we at the end is that i mean technically we have like a

00:33:41.680 talking behind chat for every one of us of the mailbag we've finally done it we got to it everybody

00:33:47.520 everybody i thought i thought there wasn't one for me there is there one for me shit fucking dickhead

00:33:53.040 it's okay if there is i just we have to there were only two mailbags right that's what you're talking

00:33:57.040 about good job good job i just hey hey i want hold on hold on hold on i want all forgot the music

00:34:02.640 i want oh oh damn it i should have been playing with josey yeah yeah all right so i just wanted to

00:34:08.720 say uh there are group chats for all you guys that are behind your backs but every time anyone anybody

00:34:14.800 chats me in them i go right back into the main and i just say whatever the fuck i want to say anyway

00:34:20.720 he's like i don't give a fuck

00:34:22.080 yeah that's that's and that and that is the secret to why i don't have a group chat behind

00:34:28.640 clint's back because i just say all the craziest shit to all y'all that's right

00:34:33.600 we know that we can just say it back to you we even if we went back and they're like

00:34:37.200 fucking clint guy's a dick we would just say that to you like this clint you're a dick

00:34:42.720 i'm impervious to it okay it doesn't faze me we've been very mean to like thank you all of us we've

00:34:48.560 been very mean i want to put this out there every single one of us thank you thank you

00:34:52.800 resident siren i appreciate your services we we literally are like we thank you for my ale

00:34:58.400 i take you all for granted you know that and and it's crazy like almost like he avoided a lot of

00:35:04.640 he avoided those last two streams that were shitting on each other but we should i don't know

00:35:07.840 anyway you're not here well see exactly see that i think that's what bothers me the most about toad

00:35:13.040 actually is that i feel like there's genuine appreciation from everybody else up here for everybody

00:35:18.240 else up here and then toad just kind of like he resents all of us and i just i just don't

00:35:22.720 appreciate that hold on i think he thinks we resent him oh i know and that's that's what's

00:35:27.120 up about it i'm gonna give a quick shout out to your wife the most everybody i didn't want to see

00:35:32.080 you i didn't want to see you i wanted to see you no i wanted me look at this i love elizabeth at home

00:35:37.040 watching the kids where she belongs and then she hits him back with uh no i'm sitting right next to the

00:35:43.280 table no come on matt you're blocked from the chat the other there's only three women in this

00:35:50.240 whole house and you're one of them so yeah fine later you come on up and apologize you have to

00:35:57.680 tell everybody that you're here i want to show my woman yeah look at my woman look at my property

00:36:04.000 i love breast milk they're asking you to hug toad you know he feels oh yeah yeah fuck me i don't

00:36:11.760 want to hug toad that's enough yeah that was gross i said the first thing i thought when he came in

00:36:20.720 here i was like yeah we should do a live killed toad would you would you be up to that i won't

00:36:24.640 do it if you don't want to are you talking about like liars well no we're not gonna kill him oh oh

00:36:28.240 sorry like the way you said it was a live kill toad i was looking for a live one but it wouldn't

00:36:33.200 be fair because like like then one of us i mean four of us wouldn't get to kill him the way we

00:36:37.600 wanted to because like the first guy kills him right yeah then it's like what fun is it yeah no

00:36:41.840 we already came we're already done we've already finished we yeah how much more could you kill this

00:36:46.000 guy it's it's an in real it's an eye a real kill toad but it's not a real kill toad it's also it's

00:36:50.960 kind of different when you have to look the guy in the eyes and be like i literally want to hang you

00:36:54.160 from uh well this i'm ready to go he's the one he's the one who just looked me in the eyes and

00:36:58.160 said you yeah he goes and then he said david brady and i said wait that's who the little dick he was

00:37:04.960 yes oh we were all thinking the same thing but he took it as i am i'm a redhead now that was very

00:37:12.000 petty of me i'm so sorry he's 12 he looked at the camera when he said yes incredible oh

00:37:23.760 fuck all right all right toad if you don't want to do it we won't but i just thought it would be

00:37:27.520 really funny that okay go ahead and run the graphic go talk time baby ladies and gentlemen

00:37:32.960 it's your favorite part of tower gang live when we tell one of our best friends straight to his face

00:37:38.960 how we would it extinguish his existence honestly if we were going on the past two days we've been

00:37:46.400 talking about toad i'm sorry but you crossed off your list but it's it's definitely on my list i'm

00:37:51.440 shoving every antifreeze down your throat and then why don't you throw up and shit yourself to

00:37:55.840 death hey guys antifreeze story you weren't here for it you have to you saw it though he saw it he

00:38:00.800 listened to it clint hasn't really no no i caught up on it um but i i didn't hear the whole story

00:38:08.080 i heard most of it let's not let's not do it beautiful if you think about it it's like he wants

00:38:12.400 something special with code because he had this memory that's right oh yeah and he held them as they

00:38:18.160 die and that was a special listen yeah i did i would if i i would i would make deals with you

00:38:23.760 know that i would make toad drink the antifreeze i would make him drink the antifreeze and then i

00:38:29.040 would hold him as he threw up and shit like he diverted all over me i don't care i'm just holding

00:38:34.240 him i'm like i love you i'm here for you this is what i'm trying to get at toad has literally been

00:38:42.000 throwing up for 24 hours since he encountered you for the first time did did you i might have

00:38:46.960 did you dog him you ever heard the cheese touch uh from my diary wimpy kit i have the antifreeze

00:38:51.920 touch i touch you and it's just like you ingested like a whole bottle of antifreeze dark but old but

00:38:56.960 only like are you talking if you had a super power yeah if i was super that'd be great that was pretty

00:39:00.240 cool like you shoot antifreeze from your fingers so you just had to like get your fingers in someone's

00:39:04.080 mouth there listen i i die in a week i finger a bunch of chicks and they can't tell anybody

00:39:10.160 i i appreciate this i appreciate this answer from cole because the way that he treats things that

00:39:14.960 he loves is by feeding them antifreeze yes it's true i love you it's what it is i love you and so

00:39:19.760 if i was to kill you it'd be in the way that i want you to in the worst way possible wow thank you

00:39:24.400 in the way that you're shitting out i'm gonna i'm gonna one-up cole because that's the only way you

00:39:28.240 can play this game and i'm going to wait until the boston celtics are in game seven of the nba finals

00:39:33.840 i'm going to wait until they are tied late in the fourth quarter and then i'm going to chop his

00:39:39.600 fucking head off right on center so he can't he can't know if they won but then but then i'm

00:39:45.760 going to rig it so that the celtics win but he doesn't get to see it no and also he already bet

00:39:49.920 on the celtics that's what he cares about oh my god yes yes to win that's usually the most detailed

00:39:55.920 but they i feel like they cause the most emotional like trauma yeah that's what i'm going yeah but here's

00:40:00.960 the thing um there are many situations where there's yeah a game we'll get into a situation

00:40:07.760 like that and i don't even want to know how it ends yeah but but game seven of the nba you're

00:40:11.680 kind of just relieving the other and here's why you know what ends look look toad every time one of

00:40:16.160 us kills you we're relieving you of your struggle so all right mine's much simpler mine come

00:40:20.720 um that's right please relieve me mine's much simpler um i saw you today i just it's been a

00:40:29.520 while since i've seen you in person oh i love this because this is going to be actually a thought

00:40:32.880 yeah exactly a little a little closer all right yeah no i just it's been a while since i've seen

00:40:37.680 you in person and i saw you in person the first thing i think is just could i kill him if i punch

00:40:44.080 him as hard as you can no you didn't did you think that oh my god so that's why just now i'm like

00:40:49.120 that i think i could do it one really everything i don't do as hard as you get right in the face i

00:40:55.440 think i could kill you so the question is not like a sudden death i might think like break your neck

00:40:59.360 like a slow thing but i think i could do it wait wait wait you think you could break his neck with

00:41:04.080 a punch the question is the question here isn't how you i'm not black it's it's how far would you

00:41:11.040 really send him yeah i don't care if like how you do it at this point but i'm wondering how far

00:41:15.280 i don't know i don't know if i can kill to do the single punch but i am i am giving him a traumatic

00:41:20.720 brain injury that's a fact maybe it cancels out the one in your head yeah oh they're one of those

00:41:25.600 like sidekicks they does that is just like absolutely brutal jose might have a point though because i

00:41:29.920 think there is a way to like hit somebody in the right spot in the neck that it causes them to like

00:41:34.160 not be able to breathe anymore no i'm just gonna punch you in the air

00:41:37.200 your neck breaks

00:41:45.280 here's how i'd kill toad

00:41:47.040 toad's reaction is priceless oh

00:41:51.200 i wouldn't i wouldn't give him any of the manly chat advice that we drop on him all the time

00:41:58.560 and i just let him melt down i'd let him go down the path that he's going down and laugh

00:42:04.080 no no no do you increase him on that line do you give him bad advice instead

00:42:09.760 no i wouldn't even interfere well i'm saying how i'd kill him is i'd do nothing yeah oh my god

00:42:15.200 or encourage it that was that was the darkest i wouldn't even encourage it i just do nothing

00:42:19.600 what do you need a woman for just masturbate some more that was the darkest answer of all of our

00:42:23.360 our kill toad segments i wouldn't kill him i just get out of his way that's that's vicious

00:42:33.840 oh my god thank you everybody for tuning in to kill toad it's been a pleasure jesus that's yeah that

00:42:39.520 was dark i'm sorry by the way i just want to say this before because we do love toad yeah almost

00:42:44.240 every like don't don't do this because every time you emphasize it it makes me feel like it's

00:42:47.440 bullshit no it's not but it's not and like i feel like i need to because we we rag on him so much i

00:42:53.200 feel like i i not i need to but i i really want to tell you you're just drunken high it's okay yeah

00:42:58.560 yeah i feel like in a frosting right now a complete faggot and

00:43:05.120 but like i want to tell like we the only reason you're here is because we like you

00:43:09.440 i just want to say that yeah you're welcome we almost didn't invite you

00:43:20.000 behind toads bat jack has been active by the way it was two to three on the votes so

00:43:27.360 reed voted they're like reed voted reed cares it went to a tiebreaker and we had it

00:43:34.240 it was a deciding vote we sent the carrier pigeon we sent the carrier pigeon to whatever trailer

00:43:39.280 he's at in new hampshire and he's like he comes out ready to chop wood he finds a little note he's

00:43:43.840 like gotta find graphite to write with

00:43:48.560 none of this is true but i love all you guys as well

00:43:52.400 show jose your reed impersonation oh god yeah i am reed

00:43:58.080 yo yo the way he says reed is unbelievably spot on

00:44:01.520 reed

00:44:05.760 we just do this bit where we egg on like a mediocre it's like whoa no no no it's great

00:44:11.520 we could call the audience over here if you close your eyes that's reed this is how this

00:44:16.800 is how lewis probably got his voice like louis jay gomez bro because it was like so bad over the

00:44:21.840 top we just let it slide read this is just what we do when like if toads ever if if cole's ever down

00:44:29.680 we'd be like oh yeah good do your reed impression yeah i do it no it's like oh it's so good good

00:44:34.960 boy he had my head like jizz everywhere and i'm so excited good boy go outside

00:44:41.840 oh my god i love reed i wish he was here yeah he just doesn't like us anymore um so yeah it's crazy

00:44:48.960 he actually said he was here last week and he said he was like i just he babbled something about

00:44:53.280 being one with nature or something yeah he ran off naked back there into the woods i was like

00:44:57.040 see you later he just said his name and then he left i'll be back to new hampshire soon if if reed

00:45:03.200 said all right top i'll see you later and then he walked that way through the woods would anybody

00:45:09.840 stop and be like yo i'd be like i'd let him go he knows where he's going oh yeah he just goes i'm

00:45:16.480 going north and this is like he just goes walking to the sunset he just keeps going he then ends up

00:45:22.240 at a highway the old bill bixby incredible hope music plays in in a like like a century ago before

00:45:28.960 there were trucks reed was that guy that just walks through the desert like you ever read like a

00:45:34.080 gunslinger he's just walking through the desert that long he's like that's reed that's what he's

00:45:38.160 supposed to do and then he translated that into like truck driving and driving long because that's

00:45:42.800 like the current technology yeah but also at pork fest uh when we're at like reed's uh reed's

00:45:48.640 camper like a bunch of people were on shrooms and people were literally people were literally just

00:45:52.720 doing that just disappearing into the woods like yeah we know where he's going yeah he just walked

00:45:58.160 away right we didn't do it that night but a whole bunch of people did and that's just the way people

00:46:03.840 live in new hampshire we did just so just like you can't you don't even see him when he's doing

00:46:07.920 something he he did yo do that you just didn't see him walk back he was the only one that actually

00:46:12.400 got like because mistakes that might be true he's so just under the radar i feel like i feel like there's

00:46:18.400 a 50 50 chance he is actually a yeti this guy des this in the in the rumble chat said it's crazy

00:46:23.440 because on the right screen toad has cancer and on the right screen

00:46:26.080 jesus christ is the fucking best dude it's the fucking best yo that was incredible oh

00:46:36.560 toast it into the worst life contest on legion of skanks do they have that yes that's for the

00:46:42.160 golden ticket to uh to skank fest you can get a golden this is our moment if you could just if

00:46:48.080 you wanted to go to skank fest if you just go you could go or you could do this it's probably more

00:46:51.920 fun this would be better for the show yeah here we go and the golden ticket is better than a regular

00:46:55.520 ticket you get i don't even care if you go i just want to go in the contest you get front of the line

00:46:59.440 on every show there is there and how do you do this oh do you do it as a matter of fact how funny would

00:47:05.760 it be yo you're doing this we're actually recording we're recording this because this is why it's

00:47:10.960 funny we're banned from gas yeah but they play that on skanks and you just keep on dropping like

00:47:17.440 even though your thing is like yeah you know i'm just i just projectile vomited i don't really know

00:47:22.720 what's wrong i have a gambling problem and then i and then i sat down to do tower gang and they made

00:47:26.800 fun of me tower gang tower gang you can't say target you have to say a podcast a podcast a tower

00:47:33.360 gang yeah it used to be like i watched what if you just what if you just bleeped yourself like

00:47:41.440 we just said and then yeah i was going to up and then like bring the ryan no no no no you don't

00:47:47.040 don't try and don't try and implement the tower gang just get them to play the video with dave

00:47:51.680 there and dave will immediately and then he has to pretend that he doesn't know imagine dave gets

00:47:56.560 kicked off for a year he's like you mentioned tower gang i'm so i know i know part of the problem

00:48:01.120 makes a lot of money doggy but you're off the net doggy yeah shannon write him on the board

00:48:06.000 because you're gonna see you dave already knows this his eyes are gonna go wide he's gonna see

00:48:10.720 toad yeah i can't i have to pretend i don't know who this guy is and they definitely pick toad because

00:48:17.040 they'd be like once they see the video they'd be like oh man this guy's like this guy and he was

00:48:21.600 like i know this guy he is that bad he's really bad like this guy i know this guy he's talked to

00:48:29.360 me before and it's not good and then so he knows you personally and he's gonna be like this guy is

00:48:34.400 the fucking worst oh jesus christ it's a white woman on the fucking podcast oh god damn it i brought

00:48:41.440 y'all snacks oh god because this is bad look he keeps eating them i just know that i'm gonna deal

00:48:51.840 with so much shit from tyler yankee uh tomorrow morning in the chat oh yeah or just probably right

00:48:56.880 now in the chat he's really really mad at me right now he's he's a lawyer and he's an old 50 year old

00:49:03.280 man is he 50 oh my god he's older than that he's old he rides bikes for fun but what a faggot but he

00:49:10.080 fucks his wife yeah if i wanted to if you were thinking of the gayest bumper sticker you could make

00:49:14.080 rides bikes for fun if i just put that on my bumper stick they'd be like that would be

00:49:19.360 gayer than rides dicks for fun it's really a pride flag especially if the bicycles are seatless

00:49:27.600 oh my god you tyler but there's a guy in the chat called matt who's matt w

00:49:32.960 yeah he's been obsessed with me for days he's a fucking i love that guy i i blocked you matt on

00:49:37.840 no he's the best where is he where is he hold on he's got there he is there he is yes yes i i

00:49:45.440 blocked him i blocked him no he's the best i blocked him we like you too sir yeah how did you

00:49:50.320 find him you just found oh no no no no because on wednesday he kept calling me the thirst etharian

00:49:56.560 i'm sure you could probably scroll and find it like three or four on wednesday uh yeah no no it

00:50:00.640 doesn't work like that this is a this is a different this is a different thing do you

00:50:03.360 think we just go live like we're always live like we just whenever we come we turn on this

00:50:10.720 it's just continuing going we come back and we're hey we're back

00:50:15.200 about 82 hour break well this weekend that has been so so he was in there and he kept like trying

00:50:21.360 to get my attention i was obviously ignoring him but then then he couldn't get my attention here so

00:50:25.600 he found my my twitter page or my x page and he started getting my attention there so i blocked i

00:50:29.680 blocked you he's the best fucking fan listen josey we don't best fucking he was like just

00:50:34.560 just so he knows like that's why here's a tip he's blocked because he wasn't very funny don't send our

00:50:38.560 guest xp yeah and also we don't even talk to the fans i'm sorry you're kind of breaking the rules

00:50:43.840 we talk about them it only when it's convenient to us we talk about them we look at some stuff they say

00:50:49.360 but don't address them please don't look them in the eyes we already have drama alerts in here

00:50:53.680 always remember we're going to the real drama we're not even to the real drama well it's because i'm a white

00:50:58.160 woman of course there is the shit we could drop on this chat right now the shit we can drop out

00:51:03.200 hey lady is totally creepier in person or online oh what creepier oh online he doesn't talk to women

00:51:10.880 in person he's a smaller of an ominous figure in the corner only that one time they don't know i could

00:51:19.760 code from the dialogue box the command line which which one of these people in the chat should i make fun of

00:51:25.680 don't make fun of our fans i was told i'm not being edgy that's a woman that's a black man make

00:51:32.720 fun of this black man the wife who i can see right there she's i can see her typing it it takes it

00:51:39.600 takes a while for i can watch okay everybody everybody roast her everybody roast her right

00:51:44.080 now we're gonna roast elizabeth yeah i'm not gonna roast elizabeth no do it we gotta do it i think it's

00:51:49.200 there's a code you don't do that white woman code white woman code it's despicable it's really

00:51:56.960 no don't remind me that i'm married to a white woman it literally it bothers me that's right

00:52:01.360 we genocided i mean i mean topic is to go home and he has he has a brown woman and and like there's

00:52:07.440 there's certain there's certain things to having a brown with the white woman and i feel like a white

00:52:11.360 one is worse because like at least a brown woman doesn't complain unless like literally like her her

00:52:16.160 child dies yeah and i guess he doesn't complain that much or or or they just leave the pickles

00:52:21.360 off her chicken sandwich wait a bit does liz complain at you like chronically no no dude i i

00:52:28.160 told i think i had no idea no no no no no you're forgetting top's wife is jewish like i'm sure she

00:52:33.680 complains like a motherfucker she missed that gene no oh okay good top you never would know this

00:52:40.320 i'm not married to her there's there's one really good mexican spot in every city like it's the

00:52:44.480 best mexican spot so one of the one we have for ours is like a taco stand that i go to weekly

00:52:50.720 yeah we go to it she orders tamales she gets the tomatoes we're in the parking lot she opens it up

00:52:55.840 she's like they're not done yet and i'm like i think the mexicans know better than you do what

00:53:00.080 do you mean they're not done yet how like whatever was in the tamales she thought come on up here

00:53:08.400 no she so she said there were two like um like you know how you see tamales

00:53:12.400 and oh she actually okay it's coming up here explain explain what to defend my piece

00:53:17.760 they were mushy and wet yeah what kind of they were what she isn't

00:53:22.320 you get it from a taco cook that's how it's supposed to be okay

00:53:28.320 that's the authentic way over here i watch too much ben sabiro my wife's not wet anymore

00:53:33.520 no no but so she she got them and they were like she was saying like these tamales like the um the

00:53:39.600 corn you know how they had like the corn wrapper or whatever it is not the wrapper but the husk of

00:53:44.240 the mush of the course yeah she was like it's too moist and it's sticking and she was like i don't like

00:53:49.600 it okay i was like she was like can you go back up and like tell them that it's not done oh so yeah

00:53:54.240 it is funny like she's like can you go back up there and tell them how to cook mexican food

00:53:57.520 i remember this the the 18 000 mexicans in the store that are sitting there and the 10 000 that

00:54:04.080 are outside waiting for food and i the one white guy that's been there all day excuse me my wife

00:54:08.800 says this isn't the authentic uh i i swear to you bring it back and try again no no no i swear to god

00:54:14.320 i went up there and it's the most amazing so it was i go back up to the taco stand and she's like

00:54:18.240 please just just do this for me just return this it's like all right fine whatever so i go back in

00:54:23.360 there i i went to go to walk in there's already four mexican dudes just off of like it was like

00:54:29.440 six o'clock so they just got done with work whatever they're doing building houses walls whatever they

00:54:34.480 were doing what mexicans do and like and they're so they're ready to get dinner i have to go back up

00:54:39.920 and like the the mexican girl that's probably the fucking dad's daughter like that's working there

00:54:45.920 she's like it's not done no done and i was like yeah my wife says it's not done and she turned

00:54:52.480 like she's an expert actually and she goes like i asked chef and so she turns around and gives

00:54:57.520 the chef and the chef just picks it up and he flips it like he like he has the the corn like

00:55:05.200 wrapping on both sides and he just flips it back and he's like it done what you're talking about it

00:55:09.760 done and i was like all right my wife my wife and then i literally had to say my wife here's what

00:55:14.880 you do here's what you do you go okay thanks you take it back walk it to your wife and say yeah

00:55:20.240 they just cooked it a little bit more and see what she does and if she eats it you go dumb

00:55:25.920 bitch no i but i went back and they're like he said her fucking done and it's like you chose like

00:55:33.120 the dumb path but i mean yes and i was like i can't come back here now like i i now like anytime

00:55:38.000 i come here they're gonna be like i can't go back to my mexican spotty i told you about oh my god

00:55:42.400 they were jewing you out of money yo these mexicans were straight up jewing me christina

00:55:46.480 how much were they jewing us for for the mexicans

00:55:52.400 a dollar fifty from like a five dollar order they just keep on like that's like 50 cents in

00:55:57.920 like 90s money here's what it is and this kid's running a great scheme it's like the son of the

00:56:02.400 mexican owner and he's there sometimes during the day like for like eight hours he's there in

00:56:06.560 eight hours someone else there and when he's there he just decides he's gonna make his tips

00:56:10.960 like this so it's like this is three dollars and he's like it's 380 and they're like 380 is

00:56:16.480 fucking weird like why do you even have dimes anymore and then he gives you the change so this

00:56:20.000 guy's stealing 80 cents a dollar 50 from a hundred people and it's like oh this kind of adds up you're

00:56:26.560 stealing the dollar from nickel and diming yeah nickel and dime he's he's mexican jew in his way

00:56:31.200 but i'm not gonna let you know how i feel like you're rhyming yes he was wet jewing you know i

00:56:38.320 feel it so i wasn't gonna let him get away with it and i went up there and i was like yo you charged

00:56:42.320 me like 80 cents more oh wait we got a character swap we're gonna keep doing this we're gonna

00:56:50.000 all we have a transition like uh who is better than us eventually eventually it's just the view up here

00:56:56.240 all women they're talking about their periods we're like how did this happen swap again

00:56:59.680 you get you're the producer today so can you bring that up from the group chat for us

00:57:05.440 no no we have our roots in politics so i figure we should do like a quick little coverage of the

00:57:11.280 most recent debates oh did you want to go like the the the vivek vivek yeah i think that nikki haley

00:57:18.560 had a good exchange i think we would oh my god no i've whatever whatever top was just on i'd

00:57:24.160 rather watch that no line i also well i i do one other question talking behind toes back it's

00:57:29.920 right there

00:57:30.560 you motherfuckers dude what's it say what's it say no don't click on it don't click on it

00:57:47.600 you can't do it oh my god you pieces of shit that's it you're all fired you're off the show

00:57:56.640 any consult consolation okay like yesterday yeah i hope people could see this oh there's there's uh

00:58:02.320 there's we were talking about earlier today just dude this legit makes him more endearing to me

00:58:06.400 because i relate to it so much oh my god i didn't think there was anybody that could be like oh yeah

00:58:11.520 this makes him look better you're the only person in the united states for me it's like i understand

00:58:16.240 the like oh i have to pretend to be happy now for these people i just expect things like i don't

00:58:21.600 know i just get that oh my god somebody he doesn't love his children i can't imagine him just being

00:58:26.480 like i i love you i love you daughter and he's just like somebody look at this somebody just said toad

00:58:32.640 can just leave if he wanted to and it's like actually no he actually can't no he really can't like

00:58:39.200 i won't let him just leave what the doors here are locked we won't fucking let him out yeah it's

00:58:44.880 true who's that uh girl in the chat you think you're anything with us is she interested in toad by

00:58:51.200 chance oh oh mikayla yes she was obviously she is yeah i think she was interesting oh yeah all right

00:58:57.280 i think all the women in our chat are interested in toad at least from what he tells us look a lot of

00:59:01.360 i'm not even i'm not even lying if any of you will uh fly to boston we'll fucking use our patreon

00:59:06.560 money to get you there so if someone wants to talk you want a free you want a free trip to boston all

00:59:12.240 you have to do is fuck this handsome gentleman yeah anyone in a bind really need to go to boston

00:59:20.080 so you know boston prostitution all right let's uh let's bring up um

00:59:26.240 what video was i bringing up no the mailbag dude yo he posted it in the production room

00:59:30.800 i'm an idiot so high he doesn't remember that we did the mailbag already oh god it's amazing

00:59:36.160 trust me audience don't shut this off you need to see this it is so fucking funny man

00:59:41.440 it's vivek versus fucking nikki haley this one here no no scroll up

00:59:46.480 that's right right there dude literally every everything in our in our we could be

00:59:51.440 hold up there are things that would literally

00:59:58.240 you're pretty careful that's not going to do it if we don't have audio oh god it's brown versus brown

01:00:02.800 yeah i know if we can't hear the audio but he's way browner he's so much browner than she is is

01:00:09.360 nikki healy also indian she's something like that right i think she's i think she's american indian

01:00:14.160 american if the audio ain't playing then the joke it's the real indian versus the fake indian yeah

01:00:22.000 it is what was she saying she can't stand it he's the real one they ripped the audio from um like this

01:00:28.320 this uh mini matt mini mart dude who's talking to somebody he's like oh no i fuck you no no

01:00:33.360 fuck you it's fucking great dude it's fucking great

01:00:42.240 oh no you fuck me no i fuck you i think something with the audience i think probably

01:00:47.600 the audience would be able to hear that audio but we can't i don't know my capabilities here

01:00:51.920 unlimited if our audience was fucking helpful at all they'd be in the chat saying yeah we could

01:00:55.520 hear that they literally hate us all they hate watch well the feelings mutual then we could play

01:01:03.680 the video and pretend to laugh alone yeah yeah yeah exactly or i could just do it for us they said

01:01:10.000 they're not helping at all i can hear you guys here we're asking if you can hear the video god

01:01:14.240 they don't even understand the question we can't hear it's it's ribble bibble so i forgive you

01:01:19.520 him tim cast yo yo yo that we can't hear shit ribble ribble i heard you were talking

01:01:23.680 shit about me fucking say it to my face full yeah we can't hear or see the video maybe i did it

01:01:28.640 wrong yeah probably i have no idea yeah probably yeah production master over here talking shit

01:01:41.920 incredible you know how hard production is yes yeah produce some bitches i'm breaking my back

01:01:48.320 over here bro i am i literally do a solo show where i produce for myself i have no one to bounce

01:01:53.360 an idea off of i do it all solo i don't know how the fuck you guys struggle with this so much

01:01:58.480 it's it's you're a goddamn computer programmer you flip out when we challenge you on your skills

01:02:03.840 and you can't do this shit better no the fuck god when i'm at home i honestly do it

01:02:11.040 does he though yes does he i don't know what he just said i wasn't paying attention

01:02:15.920 someone said jose your mic isn't on yes we're just not used to this his mic is his mic is on

01:02:21.520 because it's connected to mine he's a very sheepish gentleman i don't understand i think

01:02:26.400 that they're just fucking with you because like like they so they've watched an hour of this and

01:02:31.520 then they're like actually your mic wasn't on you're sitting here watching an hour of the best

01:02:35.120 yes oh yeah like you wouldn't have mentioned it like minute one his mic is quieter than

01:02:42.800 everybody else we just talk about okay or he is we just we just always say that we can't

01:02:46.240 it's on it's clearly we can't see him and just make him like go crazy that way instead don't do

01:02:52.320 the okay thing just to be like hey hey jose you guys want to talk about okay no okay listen listen oh

01:03:00.240 jesus yeah no no he gets a swirly that's the real swirly yeah that's right you can

01:03:04.800 fucking drop it exactly that's actually like scott horton territory which is what he did today is

01:03:09.120 actually pretty funny we got to talk about it we have to talk about that so i does anybody even

01:03:13.680 have the tweet you just go to his page yeah or i'll just go to his page and we'll read it

01:03:18.560 i think the audience can't see if you're home first i wish we could see you i'd like you i'd like

01:03:22.400 to see the talking behind clint's back fucking chat first you fucking cunts uh god scott horton

01:03:28.320 show i'll legit tell you later all right thank you thank you all right uh not allowed did he delete

01:03:34.320 it i think he might have deleted it he probably did delete it yeah very funny though all right so

01:03:43.120 anyways um basically dave does what he does he goes on rogan and he and he does you know 30 minutes on

01:03:49.360 the war in ukraine as as per usual crushes it hits it out of the park he does it largely based off of

01:03:54.800 his reading of the same book that i read which was provoked by scott horton it's there oh it is

01:03:59.600 there all right can i read it okay scott says dave smith again directly quotes pages at a time out

01:04:08.000 of my new book i think joe rogan you must work hard to learn all this stuff smith yeah years ago i read

01:04:15.120 ron paul tom woods and peter schiff but all this russia ukraine stuff is all me oh scott is anti-war

01:04:20.800 that's so weird that he would frame it like that and then he says isn't it weird here i am

01:04:26.000 the russia ukraine expert hanging out with you and doing comedy joe that is so bitter dude i love scott

01:04:32.560 i love scott look just just for those that didn't actually get to hear the episode this is no

01:04:37.040 exaggeration towards the end of the episode dave goes the great scott horton anti-war.com plugs

01:04:43.680 him hard as a motherfucker so i don't know and he always does so like and i know yeah they always say

01:04:48.480 the great scott horton they'll say it any chance they get which is so you know dave literally says

01:04:52.640 he's like the greatest anti-war uh like scholar on the planet or something like that it was like it

01:04:56.960 was like very very did he forget to say it this time no he said it dude and even if even if he didn't

01:05:01.760 say it like it's just i feel like it's like giving people benefit of the doubt thing like like i don't

01:05:06.960 know i know we've been we've some of us have been on like larger shows and shit and you're like you know

01:05:10.960 like there's stuff that people feel like they want you to plug or you want to plug and like when you're in

01:05:16.000 that moment sometimes just like you forget or you don't find a good opening for it or you stumble

01:05:21.760 but it's just all right god damn it guys i'm not gonna hit my i'm not gonna hit my teeth on the

01:05:25.680 table to get you know cole is uh feeding clint across the table yeah but anyways yeah no it's

01:05:30.480 very petty but uh so i can't break brain time and i'm literally like i phase out right almost i

01:05:36.560 almost like the pettiness though oh well of course you do yeah i i feel like this is this is your chaotic

01:05:41.680 scott horton go on tower gang kind of this is yeah yeah he's ready he's ready for us now yeah

01:05:46.960 you're ready yeah we but they might have had you on before when the show was garbage but now just to

01:05:50.640 just to try and defend dave a little bit here what when i was on simcast and i did a very similar rant

01:05:56.240 and i literally interjected it with i didn't know any of this i learned it all through scott horton's

01:06:00.560 book that's pretty rare to like to you're you're trying to recollect all of these details about this war

01:06:06.960 and then to also tie it into the person that inspired the rant that you're on just a simple

01:06:11.520 humble brag just a humble right no no i i'm just saying i totally understand why dave said it after

01:06:17.440 that's it yeah yeah i agree with clinton someone brought up a point though that maybe to be fair

01:06:22.080 maybe give scott the doubt maybe this is some weird he is kind of an old funny daddy with his humor so

01:06:27.520 maybe like maybe it was a joke maybe it was like men in jest in some way kind of like a jest

01:06:32.480 slash promotion it seemed angry it does seem it that way to me yeah but you don't write a second

01:06:37.200 tweet if it was in jest but he was like just in case you didn't know what i meant yeah yeah this

01:06:43.200 paragraph yeah then one more yeah there was the second tweet and then and then the third one

01:06:47.520 fuck dave well all right like no i'm serious i don't i don't know i think i think i think it's i

01:06:54.080 think it's baggage from the the decision so to speak the decision yes um lebron james i believe right

01:07:00.240 yes when he took his talents to new jersey yeah exactly i have a question though because we

01:07:06.400 we referenced it earlier in this show and we have talked about it on the other two streams that we've

01:07:12.080 done this weekend but not on this particular one do we want to talk about cole with the uh

01:07:20.000 antifreeze yet again or no please no it will be locals only um it's i mean it's funny but it's not

01:07:29.360 funny okay it was funny no you weren't you didn't i didn't see the first one i didn't see the first

01:07:36.080 i think i didn't see that first one but yeah it was funny no the only thing is i did have something

01:07:41.200 else i told y'all about i did have another story hey hey hey hey why are you talking like that

01:07:46.960 i'm dude i all i can think about i do have something else what are you what are you talking

01:07:56.560 about the read mode oh yeah by default yeah it's a major faggot for lpnh

01:08:06.880 you get into a long-haul truck and then talk to all the other libertarians that don't live in new

01:08:10.160 hampshire and i fucked the craziest bitches i could find on twitter dude that's like the coolest

01:08:16.640 thing about reed well that he mad fucks yeah yeah oh yeah he gets mad pussy like it's insane how much

01:08:24.000 pussy literally mad yeah top shelf old it's dry aged it's dry age pussy yo dry age roast beef

01:08:37.600 he literally hears uh like he hears the like the number like 35 and his dick shrinks yeah like he

01:08:45.040 can't stand it he hears the number 55 and he's like i got 5.5 reed comes into the chat he talks about

01:08:50.640 like yo i just had this uh vintage 1971 yeah yeah he's like vintage like why do why is reed still

01:08:58.480 in here he's like he's like he's like i like i like my bitches like i like my muscle cars built in the

01:09:02.720 sixties like i like my wine white we deleted twitter today and then he had to like text us and tell us

01:09:12.000 he's like yeah by the way i deleted twitter we're like oh shit what when he's like i like you guys

01:09:18.400 that's why i keep you around and we're like we're not breaking up this is this is just like a

01:09:22.960 i don't know a little break it's not me it's you but i'm gonna see other people in the time being

01:09:27.040 it's like oh he did not text me now no he put it in the group chat bro you're just like you have a

01:09:32.560 job and you know it was a text group chat telegram telegram no it was this is a regular messenger

01:09:39.200 i don't i don't i don't remember i got the message you know he didn't he didn't send it to

01:09:44.080 tote based he he knew that we would get it to tote so yeah he was like he loves you he's just really

01:09:51.280 efficient he voted he voted on this without even being on the show and he voted you off yeah yo yo

01:09:58.480 this was his own version of yes uh is he actually still pays probably by text like he still is like

01:10:06.960 like he has like a 1990s grandfathered in like a like phone plan where he pays my text he's like

01:10:11.040 i'm like a text toad i'm gonna cut that one out because i know if i just text the other four it's

01:10:14.960 fine i can say i can totally see him like texting i can save a nickel pressing nine to get the letter y

01:10:22.880 that's probably how dare we do this on the uh anniversary of mccain's death though where i

01:10:27.760 literally tweeted out me in the full lpnh happy holidays wow garb yeah i was wondering why you did

01:10:34.160 that because i was like like you weren't wearing that today i was looking right at you wearing

01:10:37.360 green socks that's true yo wait wait you have you have lpnh garb what's that dude he still has them

01:10:42.160 on they're adorable what they're not they're not adorable you know he went swimming with them

01:10:46.640 he was in he was in the like in the yo he wore those in this were you yeah no he didn't yeah he didn't

01:10:52.160 no i feel like oh god he did i saw what cole was trying to do cole was trying to paint him as a real

01:11:00.640 weirdo because that you don't recover from that no no no no no he was he's drunk and i you know

01:11:08.720 what's really funny if i was trying to think where i tell them that the socks are wet no no oh you know

01:11:16.000 it's like it was that but it was also that i was thinking that that would lead to that they were

01:11:20.720 thinking like oh i can make this guy seem like an insane oh you know what yeah he watches threesome

01:11:25.280 this show has everybody this show has everybody thinking that i like trannies and my dick doesn't work

01:11:29.120 so you swim with socks on it okay you know you know it's it's so much gayer than what you are

01:11:38.080 what's worse uh what's worse like swimming with socks on or or like murdering dogs which is uh

01:11:43.920 which would you rather be if you had to take that oh dog murderer for sure what kind of dogs over

01:11:48.720 swimming with socks yeah dude i'm not i'll kill all those i'll kill i'll kill every dog on the planet

01:11:53.600 that is i'm not swimming with socks that's insane wait a minute is the swimming in socks kind of

01:11:59.120 like you know how fat guys will like swim with a shirt on is that like the same thing like cover

01:12:03.360 your cankles yeah exactly oh wow dude had you done that today i don't think i could have prevented

01:12:08.880 myself from just beating you to death like just the shirt on or the socks on too no no the shirt on

01:12:15.760 if you if you got in the pool today i lost the fight with my intrusive thoughts

01:12:20.800 i'm not the water i'm not i'm throwing tops kids in the water and then i see him getting them pulled

01:12:29.840 it would make it even worse due to the fact that i like post like almost

01:12:33.040 nude like photos on twitter yeah that'd be weird but i wear a shirt in the pool yeah

01:12:38.240 we're socks in the pool and now i kind of feel like it's like diddy it's the mandela effect no

01:12:44.080 i bet i could convince all you like no i did not you didn't see that yeah yeah he totally had

01:12:50.080 socks on us honest to god because it was under the water i thought you might be telling the

01:12:53.520 come think about it i don't know what now i'm second guessing like rebel showed up to air out

01:12:59.360 his beef yo what you got to say this is what he's upset but i forgot what he said about he's

01:13:03.280 certainly seems to think you're supporting the vet because i guess he's just fucking christ he's

01:13:08.000 an indian racist technocrat fraud acting like mainstream media do we know this are all things

01:13:12.960 i mean first it's a distinct possibility not so great racist or you're pulling me back uh technocrat

01:13:18.800 i don't know what we're talking about here all of us all of us are fraud i'm not sure what that

01:13:23.920 word means so yeah uh look i know i'm not supporting vivek so well you don't like freedom

01:13:32.800 sorry but i will say i will say uh i played on my episode yesterday a speech that he gave and it

01:13:39.120 was you cry this is yeah yeah of course i cry on every episode but there the it was like it was

01:13:45.760 legit one of the best speeches i've ever heard and it was in it was in response to an audience question

01:13:50.560 you know how fucking incredible it is so like look there's a good chance that he is in some way like

01:13:56.800 like sheep dipped or whatever but um i don't know how you i don't know how you riff like that

01:14:03.200 why are we talking serious shit fuck you ribble think about yeah he is indian and like think about

01:14:07.920 our politicians and how shitty they are but now let's say these are outsourcing them right we're

01:14:12.480 like ones that actually put effort into like their propaganda well that's the problem with the

01:14:16.160 vague is that he tries hard and that's not the american way yeah i mean it's not like it's new for us

01:14:22.080 because we're not used to this this breed of politician that actually tries to deceive properly

01:14:26.320 well he he doesn't just try he's so good at it yeah i know you know maybe they're just they're

01:14:31.200 stepping up their game we've got a little ai i'm in the mix like is he paying you i don't understand

01:14:35.600 what's what's going on here we're we're just having a conversation about like all of us over here

01:14:40.560 like and they're just they're just going on they're having like they're having big brain

01:14:44.800 over here like a totally different vodcast and we're just like the guy's the guy's the

01:14:48.960 guy's the most impressive i mean how can he be so eloquent about all of his stances on liberty

01:14:58.880 or blowing up the cartels it's really it's really yeah there is

01:15:04.160 how do you hold these two thoughts at the same time and yet still be so high the cognitive dissonance

01:15:07.920 is profound what the are you talking about clint i am i am uh i'm pleased to hear that you're not

01:15:14.640 supporting a street shitter cole i believe has a story that we have not heard before that he was

01:15:20.080 going to tell is that true cole yeah yeah i'm really bad i'm really bad i have me and cole just had a

01:15:27.520 cash and he's pretty bad so uh so i i i did bring some guys and i think i brought guys i think i um

01:15:37.840 alluded to it on on a podcast months ago this dude's brain is shutting down oh god it's so bad

01:15:42.640 no give me the moonshine guys i really didn't realize it was that this morning that toad shut

01:15:50.960 down on us yeah it's wild that was mid-show see that was real shit like

01:15:57.200 i didn't believe him when he did it yeah when he was just looking you were looking at me and you

01:16:01.200 said oh yeah yeah in his eyes close he goes look yo he's gonna wake up tomorrow and fake a headache

01:16:08.640 just to be like told you saturday bitch no no it's mind and body literally in the race i will absolutely

01:16:14.880 not i i will not i got jet lag it's like that's why i'm thinking i'm still my body thinks it's saturday

01:16:19.840 i'm actually on friday so my body's already that was horrible so i threw up in your yard

01:16:24.320 dude that that second uh vomiting was like that was like family guy shit so that was that was

01:16:30.720 again like what most of everything you do it was just brought on upon like a by yourself

01:16:36.000 yeah yeah but you brought that onto this is no what i don't even know what i did i need to

01:16:39.440 understand we were at johnny rockets yeah and he said let me get the peanut butter banana smoothie and

01:16:43.600 i looked at him yeah because i like it okay you just threw it up on the whole yard it's like but

01:16:50.720 like i know he was feeling nauseous today already yeah but then but then i felt better well this is

01:16:55.520 the thing this i could see how smoothie would be nice on nauseous like that was a milk depending

01:16:59.200 what kind of nauseous i'm feeling but he already threw up it was a milkshake but this is like it's

01:17:03.120 kind of like he's been thrown up all day you don't you don't understand these like saturday

01:17:07.360 headaches that used to get this is like almost definitely one of my wife just said absolutely

01:17:12.720 one of those headaches and she's she's a nurse yeah i've never heard of that maybe yes thank you

01:17:17.360 the book thank you yes it's okay we have a nurse in the building if you can if you could confirm

01:17:22.400 that that's not we have a firefighter too who does ems and they're both like no yeah hey hey you ever

01:17:28.080 heard of someone getting a headache one day of the week every single single every single week

01:17:32.400 do you want me to call my mom right now and ask her if it happened what's the diagnosis for that

01:17:36.320 on the mornings

01:17:44.640 what was happening on sunday were you going to catholic church

01:17:50.080 was i doing oh it was if it was sunday he's betting for the uh i'm betting nfl oh my god

01:17:55.600 he's betting nfl no oh my god every day he drops like three grand on nfl and he's and then he goes

01:18:01.040 like his body his body's telling me i wish we had good i should change but but i i if i don't get

01:18:09.680 photography my body would i might not be in a good month but i've got a good three years i guess

01:18:16.720 so are you liar liar do you so do you feel like you're in in touch with your uh your body

01:18:22.480 yes yes okay yes he touches it all the time yeah exactly i just was like wondering if like

01:18:31.440 are you spiritually out of alignment possibly okay guys i realized what i was doing wrong

01:18:37.520 i wasn't presenting the video that was my bad oh no jesus christ dude all right please pull up that

01:18:43.520 fucking all right let's do it let's watch it the nicky haley the nicky haley one yo yeah just scroll

01:18:48.560 up scroll up oh yo yo run run run both yeah run that one first this is great bro okay i'm gonna

01:18:56.000 do like this right do you do the the volume this is such bad do you not understand why no you gotta

01:19:03.520 come over here see i had the stream yeah then i gotta go back damn every time the whole time that

01:19:09.360 makes it all right cool i feel a lot better it's still not going this is incredible oh we have what we

01:19:15.520 did here is we set up the best top set up best we could out of the puerto rican yeah he set up all

01:19:21.760 this and then he was like i totally missed out on we can't hear each other i'm stuck yo yo yo go

01:19:27.040 go back to the screen share i want to make sure you're clicking the boxes with share audio yeah share

01:19:30.960 audio on chrome tab or whatever yeah content bottom left i know isn't it yeah it's clicked all right

01:19:38.800 i don't know i don't know whatever honestly we don't even care to show you guys fuck you

01:19:44.640 i do though so cole was gonna be talking about something is that happening i feel like what we

01:19:50.560 done with well whatever we were talking to toad about what were you talking about i mean i'm just

01:19:54.160 like i'm just trying to make sure that like he's in touch with me you're talking about me vomiting

01:19:58.320 whatever yeah but like but like why did you throw up all day do you have any ideas yeah

01:20:01.680 like when you're not putting in a character or lying to us you know you can get you get severe

01:20:06.880 nausea with certain kinds of headaches it comes along with it i don't get headaches it's not

01:20:11.760 saturday so it doesn't make sense well that is that is the case it was that i mean that's the

01:20:18.560 reason so you've got a headache yeah okay what's the reason for the headache is you stressing about

01:20:25.440 us probably stress yo it's great you know what i did wow i it's legit okay so the night of thursday

01:20:34.640 night we came in set all this stuff up we did that quick three-man three-man show his son was crying

01:20:41.520 so we started like 35 minutes late and toad was pacing pacing i was getting the rest of my steps for

01:20:48.800 the day no i was that's what he says he's throwing air punches as he's walking back and forth

01:20:55.360 i don't know did you see this i don't notice i'm sorry am i am i wrong am i wrong call oh

01:21:01.440 you you you were the only one who saw it but i don't think i was doing that you were pacing i was

01:21:06.560 pacing yes you were pacing because you were anxious because we were late and then that gave you a

01:21:11.200 headache and then it made you projectile vomit vomit vomit do you see how crazy this is

01:21:19.120 this is all self-inflicted you it honestly your whole all of your elements may be psychosomatic

01:21:24.480 but it like have you ever heard that song my own worst enemy by the band what oh yes i love that

01:21:29.920 you are your own worst enemy look i know i know i know no no but it doesn't i know no one at this

01:21:34.160 table knows what psychosomatic means but i think that's it we've filled in the blanks

01:21:38.080 oh wow can we look up uh on the screen psychosomatic no please no don't do it top top don't do it i

01:21:46.640 can't even spell it do not do it well i want to know how you say it's why it's p-h-o it's gonna be

01:21:51.840 it's just gonna be a picture of it psycho co-somatic

01:21:58.560 psycho cock is that what you have

01:22:00.240 psycho psycho somatic out of insane semitic psychosexual do you know psycho sexual is a

01:22:07.520 thing yo that's the whole one psychosomatic is really what i call elizabeth of a physical

01:22:13.120 illness or other condition caused by or aggravated by a mental factor such as internal conflict or

01:22:19.200 stress bingo psychosomatic i get talking dictionary you know i i get i get for real i get such a

01:22:24.720 somatic uh like i get anti-semitic or i think i'm having a heart attack that's so dope

01:22:31.680 i thought my wife's uh my wife's seizures were psychosomatic one time but to be fair i mean she

01:22:35.440 is a woman so it's a weird fucking emotion and mental bullshit oh a woman spazzing out

01:22:43.120 does someone need attention she's just drooling and biting your tongue off i can only imagine the

01:22:49.360 the actual the real life conversations he had there he's like he's like i just keep like

01:22:54.960 sneezuring if you're doing this and he's just like yeah i'm sure yeah it is funny to like blank

01:23:01.600 face giving someone a diagnosis of psychosomatic seizures yeah it's what you're like when you're

01:23:07.200 like like oh okay you're basically just saying you're the biggest liar on the planet

01:23:10.560 no no no no you're not such a mindfuck no literally how many times i mean talking yourself

01:23:16.800 into a seizure no no which number of seizures did he get to before he was like i think this might be

01:23:21.440 a problem like you think it was like five or six he's just like oh god i'm totally wrong no but in

01:23:27.920 cases like this you're actually having a seizure it's just brought on by mental issue that's exactly

01:23:34.160 what we said yeah okay yeah no no no psychosomatic usually i don't consider that being a liar it means

01:23:39.360 you're crazy psychosomatic is often times would you rather be a liar or would you rather be crazy

01:23:43.520 toad crazy she's one of the ones that blurs the lines that's interesting like you can you can stop

01:23:51.040 lying you can't stop being crazy that's a great question yeah but if you're lying then if you're

01:23:56.080 lying you're being a terrible person no then just stop lying that needs to be a sort of what you need

01:24:00.160 to put that right up like would you rather be crazy or rather be a liar clint does it clint's trying

01:24:04.320 to get 100k let's let's get to cole's uh story here yeah 600 followers away from 100

01:24:09.280 thousand if you guys could help me out at liberty live follow okay i take it back

01:24:16.560 all right oh god damn it we're doing oh i got i got dave smith live 2 p.m eastern here it's going

01:24:24.000 to be incredible we're going to do a deep dive he was just on rogan spent three hours didn't talk

01:24:27.600 about his decision at all so we're gonna hit that hard that's it thank you jose gallison i have a no way

01:24:33.280 jose show tomorrow uh yeah i'll be all the guys here i don't know maybe we'll kick uh cole out i

01:24:44.080 don't know if he can handle being serious but uh if you want to follow me uh follow me on twitter

01:24:47.920 at target jose and yeah go check out my podcast what if it was breed tower getting tower getting

01:24:54.240 toe on twitter pony boys time follow the tower game pod you know where we are subscribe to the

01:25:00.400 locals that's a good impersonation i don't care what anybody says that's great and i'm also the

01:25:05.120 host of better off dead this the most suicidal podcast b-e-t-t-o-r if you can't figure it out that's

01:25:12.160 right you suck i don't i don't i don't want to i'm pat comic day on twitter go ahead

01:25:21.040 oh yeah top lobster on twitter top lobster.com merch engine.com the top lobster show we might be

01:25:28.160 doing one tomorrow interviewing uh someone who saw a ufo with me we'll see yeah with with cole

01:25:35.120 maybe we'll see well when the goon

01:25:36.720 dude if you plug one to go one more time i swear to god that's why we don't watch your video because

01:25:44.720 the first thing he hit us up wasn't like yo check out these short instagram videos he's like

01:25:48.320 check out this seven hour show yo you should it's called the conspiracy iceberg have you watched it

01:25:53.600 yet he messaged us every day for a week boom you guys watch so yeah it's like it's eight hours long

01:25:59.760 it's amazing how he covers like one both ends of the spectrum of lowbrow content

01:26:06.000 30 second hits yeah

01:26:11.760 talking about the n-word for seven hours

01:26:13.760 that's the only two spectrums i have the size of the spectrum i know

01:26:18.720 his bell curve is shaped like an n

01:26:20.160 oh what was i gonna say you guys want to oh oh we should ask when to goon um why are your

01:26:30.240 why are your babies made out of strawberries that seems like it's worth taking into oh my baby oh

01:26:35.200 he's the best he's the best he's really really it's crazy but he is made out of strawberries let's

01:26:40.160 be honest yeah oh yeah yeah oh

01:26:42.160 once you crash mine no we're not we're gonna yeah we're gonna after this but this is like three

01:26:47.440 hours long wait really i don't know i think we're running on steam like how hold on hold on hold on

01:26:54.320 stop dude did you see what the what the are you talking about

01:27:03.920 he has zero excuse tonight no every street he goes like i think we should get out of here because

01:27:08.480 i have to go and look at the time bring some more what do you got to do i gotta go put my daughter

01:27:12.560 to big guys so i might go what you got to do well fuck your daughter hey i'm i'm saying let's move

01:27:17.920 to another like that black dude that's doing it already i know but the psychological you can't

01:27:22.240 even bring up video right now that hurts was it that hurts we're we're working with so little

01:27:30.560 we have we we have we have five comedic geniuses and we also have a story we have a story

01:27:35.840 that we have a city all right let's say like we shouldn't let him say it oh yeah

01:27:42.960 all i said was i i have no mind not telling this because this is something that like is

01:27:47.120 embarrassing to me but i did tell you a week ago i was like hold on

01:27:53.120 there's no more jose jose jose just ate no jose came here and she made these things jose just

01:27:58.880 ate 17 000 calories worth jose made he made four of them okay and everybody had one and now they're

01:28:06.240 gone that's not true i brought that motherfucking tray inside there was like 30 there was like 25 of

01:28:12.640 them bitches i ate one and jose i had two i'm not even sure i ate three he really think i really think

01:28:20.000 stole on a cold i think i think how many jose it was right here it was right here and you just took

01:28:25.920 it i think it was behind that wait let's take bets let's take bets on how many there were

01:28:30.720 yeah i think that's how many of them how many did you guys have

01:28:34.160 i think i don't know if i'm being realistic i think there's 22.

01:28:37.520 i'm gonna someone's gonna count 25 25 25 i want to say 28 18 18. tough wins they're 28.

01:28:49.280 yeah dude what do i win i just saw it we're gonna kill 24. she is an angel 7 7 7.

01:28:57.360 i guess i could get back in the kitchen and make more

01:28:59.920 that would be nice no but it makes it way worse it was so much higher we feel like you have to

01:29:09.040 though okay yeah but that means we appreciate all these i think i ate three i think he ate two i

01:29:14.960 think he ate one no i had three i think whatever whatever i had like probably 10. no 15 you might

01:29:20.560 have been at 20. 15 sounds reasonable 20 that sounds totally plausible those are easily 150 calories

01:29:27.760 that's what i was saying when i ate when i first ate it i was like these things are really good

01:29:32.960 but i was like this is not good for you yeah yeah i don't know how you made the sugar so like

01:29:38.480 that's the life you can tell it was like a lot of sugar melted into a little bit what kills what

01:29:42.560 kills me about it dangerous what kills me about it is like as soon as i ate one i was like that's

01:29:46.560 one of the best things i've ever had i'm gonna sit these over here so i can have some later and they're

01:29:50.960 gone i am an award-winning pie baker and that is leftover pie crust with my recipe so that's what

01:30:08.720 that was she brought us leftovers let's let's let's settle this once and for all her kids already

01:30:15.360 picked it all off and just like the whatever's rough and they're like whatever can we please

01:30:20.080 settle this once and for all why do people say that your uh pies are fake i don't understand it

01:30:26.000 because they're so pretty that they can't be real kind of like they think i'm ai because

01:30:32.320 i'm so pretty that i can't be real right i always thought it was some sort of like double

01:30:35.920 entendre like you're being accused of having fake boobs that's like an elon mustang where he's like

01:30:39.840 you know that it's so that it's real because it looks so fake toad you watch our only fans are

01:30:45.280 cream pies real i'll have you know she makes an honest living on x.com that's not an only fans that's

01:30:58.960 i don't know if they're real but they satisfy social media website for adults yeah i gotta

01:31:07.040 be careful when i talk to my grandmother about how i make my money on x.com

01:31:13.760 that's gonna be pretty off-putting that's actually pretty funny yeah every time i see x.com now i

01:31:18.480 literally can't stop but think like this like i'm going to a porn website like oh wait it's just

01:31:22.880 twitter like oh it's a porn that was a website it is it is a porn website cole tell us your story

01:31:27.920 please okay so so it is what an what an ultimate troll from elon mustang is like all the guys that

01:31:33.600 like will be watching x videos when they got to go to x.com like if i did it on a screen share and

01:31:37.760 i press x and it'll be like did you mean x.com like that was my next suggestion it's just like oh

01:31:42.080 what uh it's it's such a like x videos did you mean what he knows what he knows is like you're

01:31:47.360 an x videos guy too x did you mean that no but but he knows he knows that he's looking right in

01:31:52.720 the eyes like dope we should watch it together one day but let me see what your suggestion is

01:31:58.720 elon knows that most that like the most traffic on the internet goes to porn websites he was like

01:32:04.000 so like i literally just have to place mine in front of that on google oh this is genius and i get

01:32:08.640 like i mean i get infinitely more because they just automatically click i get it yeah what he wants

01:32:13.760 is for people who think that x.com is a porn site but they accidentally go to him do you know

01:32:19.440 do you know how much he had to have paid for that url it's got to be astronomical right after they

01:32:25.440 changed twitter to x there was a screenshot of a um the people start getting their bills and it's

01:32:30.960 paying for x.com and a guy's wife screenshot him and she's like what she would kill me

01:32:37.680 she would be like x.com why are you paying for x.com and he's like you're never going to believe

01:32:42.800 this they're paying me he's like why is that bitch paying you for

01:32:50.320 wait you start an only fan you get it you get a check from x.com and your wife is like

01:32:54.400 what the actual is it cool hey real talk i think at this point you're in good enough shape you can

01:32:59.840 probably make a couple grand a month just jerking off on cam i would you let me jerk off no oh

01:33:07.520 okay she really didn't even think about that a number or anything just what no what's the number

01:33:15.120 well by the way would you rather you i mean this is kind of like do you think your your wife would

01:33:19.520 either you jerk off on camera or that you would rather your this is a bad question yeah this is not

01:33:25.680 basically the inverse of the two beat off on camera as opposed to them dillard yeah it's basically the

01:33:33.360 opposite like which do you think that this is worse for each one out of the both uh both of them

01:33:38.400 which would be worse for the woman yeah it's awful hypothetical and you're drunk yeah it's much better

01:33:45.360 i see the comparison he's trying to draw yeah if you get someone to pay you to jerk off on video

01:33:49.680 that's just awesome yeah like i'm getting paid to do what i do 32 times do you think your wife would

01:33:55.840 be more upset at you for that then you would be upset at her for actually diddling no no no what i'm

01:34:00.240 saying is like it's the question i would be more upset at her my wife wouldn't give a

01:34:05.120 fuck if people were paying for you jerk off the camera she'd be like cool you know i have a

01:34:10.800 she doesn't exist so i can make up anything you want hey i have a really i have a good good idea

01:34:16.160 we go to some gay porn site that is like subscriber only we try and find someone with no subscribers

01:34:21.200 that's been doing it for a long time oh just to see what this guy's day

01:34:24.960 yeah well i mean we make his day but also we clown the fuck out of him because it'd be great

01:34:28.560 we just ask him like personal questions and become part of their audience we can go that route i didn't

01:34:34.320 i didn't know you were trying to get him to kill himself i was just like no jose's like i got a

01:34:37.760 couple in mind for you if you want to know like i have like a lot of guys that i know that are doing

01:34:42.160 this we send toad into his comments and his streams like maybe jerk a little bit this way jerk it that way

01:34:47.360 maybe yo that'd be hilarious if toad is just in his chat all the time and it's jerking off and then over time

01:34:53.360 toad gets to know him he brings these stories back to the show so i need you to watch a guy jerk

01:34:58.720 off for the rest of your life male performer online and become a fan of the

01:35:04.400 we actually had one of those a bit that we should do we should have done it but i mean

01:35:08.720 short time with the that reddit the trans reddit that we were scrolling yeah we can do my whole

01:35:14.640 and i thought we could do it live i think the biggest thing that we're lacking is follow through

01:35:19.520 like we've got a lot of great ideas but we just don't i think the reddit thing if we fall

01:35:22.640 it'd be very funny yeah of where we all post on the reddit that of trans passing

01:35:28.560 yeah you can choose what you want to say of you know the female real real no i've already said

01:35:33.440 before don't even say it you look yourself you look like a beautiful trans man dude i could pull off

01:35:38.960 the top surgery thing like yeah he has he already has a top photo surgery but yeah yeah the one that's

01:35:46.480 yeah but that one that one's kind of that one might be too slapsticky like i'm like yeah going

01:35:51.280 in there with real pictures i'm saying yeah do i pass yeah and just don't say from which way and

01:35:55.840 let them go and then we read it we say like we go to our picture and we read it exactly we should do

01:36:00.960 that you know i would love to see what this is though oh my god you know if total was born they'd be

01:36:07.440 like that guy clearly has high teeth all right real quick we we've kicked around the idea a little

01:36:12.880 bit clip guy did you do some sort of clip guy like contest or some people like something or

01:36:18.800 if anybody wants to i mean we've had people that have helped but like dicky walnuts he's he's actually

01:36:24.080 good at it but he only does it on his phone and the audio is so like that doesn't do it

01:36:27.360 to be cool we are considering money in this no but before but before we bring up money we want

01:36:36.000 to know if someone will do it for nothing yeah i mean for the love of the game that's how you get

01:36:41.920 them over the top after three or four weeks of where we don't get any responses yeah like look

01:36:46.000 theoretically we could pay you but it'd be cooler if we didn't how much we pay you depends on how

01:36:51.600 yeah yeah well i mean you'd have to be skilled and also needy and basically ungrateful for the

01:36:56.160 free comedy we give you so you can choose how ungrateful try not to turn into a ginger

01:37:00.880 bitch at the end what come on it's so bad it wasn't all right but you guys i don't understand

01:37:08.080 nobody else took offense to this i hesitate to even bring it up because i knew dicky might get a

01:37:11.680 little upset that we were considering other people he's not allowed to watch the show

01:37:19.280 oh whatever he does yeah no i'm talking about the little dicky thing that everybody got

01:37:24.720 uncomfortable oh god why should why should we be uncomfortable go ahead lay out the case

01:37:31.200 why are we even talking about i didn't even remember how it happened it was it was

01:37:34.800 he doesn't remember he's still mad i'm still mad he's just a few hey we promised this guy

01:37:40.160 hey we promised this guy anonymity i'm not gonna dox him you already did

01:37:46.240 you kind of did you kind of did you are what no you legitimately did he did

01:37:52.720 he's been our producer for years

01:37:57.440 no he literally named him a name more than that's true i'm not gonna all right whatever it doesn't

01:38:01.680 matter they can go back here's no here's what happened jose i'm the no this is what happened

01:38:05.920 and i i take offense it is petty it's petty i'm um they go jose has already decreed he doesn't want

01:38:11.680 to speak about this this is not great content i don't know well it's it's kind it's kind of good

01:38:18.720 because it's awkward and that's yeah oh we went awkward i'm gonna go awkward they go into a private

01:38:24.240 community and they were like yeah you know what tower getting kind of stuck and then i'm like but

01:38:28.960 then i look in this in the chat and i see you there every day and you're like oh bro it was sick and

01:38:33.760 then when you when you're talking to me you're like oh bro you're great and then i'm like then

01:38:37.760 i see in a private chat you're like no these guys it was in it's so upset it's just like i'm not

01:38:44.080 even upset about it because i don't value their opinion at all it's just like the goal of you to do

01:38:48.640 this and then in my face be like oh yeah bro it's like awesome i was like no i was like you're

01:38:53.440 a bitch like if you got something to say to me say it to my face don't say it over there i missed

01:38:57.920 all of this drama i have no idea what's going on yeah it's great it's a producer for like

01:39:03.280 almost i don't know nine months or something yeah so he he quit three quarters of his life

01:39:08.960 and top top does not play that no it's not because he quit that's not no no i said i said

01:39:13.600 he started talking shit and top does not wait for no reason he didn't even talk shit he likes someone

01:39:18.480 talking shit you can confirm i said i said hey is there any way to get this guy like some kind of

01:39:24.080 an intern role with tim or anything like that and and clinton was like he's not ready and i was like

01:39:29.360 all right he's good and you're right you fucked up you idiot you weren't ready because you're an

01:39:33.840 immature but we were looking out for you right straight up i'm like this guy i really do like

01:39:38.800 you're gonna need to but he's gonna need to see this and learn i'm fine with it this door is closed

01:39:44.320 i will say top you are right in being upset realizing that hey okay maybe we don't have

01:39:50.480 a business relationship or relationship in general but i feel like it's like this

01:39:53.840 to some extent you gotta go all right now that's that and we move on see here's here's the reason

01:39:58.880 here's the reason dragon's work one more time yeah i can tell here's the reason i have let it go

01:40:03.920 uh he's like a kid yeah that's it that's it that's the whole reason yeah if he if you if he was in

01:40:09.840 his 30s i'd be breaking this dude yeah you do dumb shit when you're young and later you're like

01:40:14.240 yeah yeah but the top he just lessons no matter the age he's like i'm gonna break you

01:40:22.640 motherfucker i figured i figured my butthole and sent videos to elizabeth for real yeah that's the

01:40:28.160 story that's the story yeah man what wait what pictures your butthole did you ask for them you

01:40:34.720 did yeah that bullshit bullshit wait wait yes you did okay no whatever i feel like i feel like that

01:40:42.560 i feel like that would be her kink is that she i had to drop i had to drop it i had to drop it in

01:40:46.400 there uh yeah when i was so i did elizabeth when i was in college i met her and he was already

01:40:52.640 freaky wild yeah she was like you lost your virginity to her but she didn't lose the virginity

01:40:57.120 yeah right no she didn't uh

01:40:59.360 jesus christ no but i did i did two with condom and for the first time two with condom one without

01:41:08.400 and then never i haven't worn a condom latex has not touched my penis

01:41:12.800 and i'm sorry i'm trying to what was the even main story you did what with your not even a doctor's

01:41:16.960 glove you just want to let us know he brought dogs his wife no i i i fingered my i fingered my

01:41:22.400 butt hole you fingered it yeah what though and it's in a video to her because she wanted i like

01:41:26.880 that he i like that he transitioned effortlessly and like i don't use condoms it's like hey can we

01:41:33.440 rewind because you just said you fingered your butt how did you how did you angle this bro that's

01:41:38.320 i kind of want to see the video because i want to know how you recorded it oh yeah no for real show us

01:41:43.600 the video show me the video show me the video show me the video

01:41:49.520 i would i would yeah i would love to watch the video did you go like this did you go like

01:41:59.920 did you go like that and then have the phone was it was it like kind of on your back i would set the

01:42:05.360 phone on the bottom of the tub yeah and then i would do that and so it would be hold on hold on

01:42:13.120 i just want to say the water was on iphone 14 completely waterproof it was totally fine he said i

01:42:18.400 would i would sit my phone it was under water i would sit my phone on the tub and then i would

01:42:24.240 bend over like this so it's not like i sat my phone in the tub that one time i bent over like

01:42:30.560 this one more time do you see what i'm saying the verbiage of it is multiple times yeah multiple

01:42:37.120 there's another point that needs how many times you send these videos there's there's another no no

01:42:40.880 hold on it happened more than once i'll tell you that all right this is the point that needs to be

01:42:44.400 made there was there was no reason for the detail of putting it in the tub why did you do that you

01:42:49.760 could just put on the ground anywhere i don't know that because i i just dunked it in the water

01:42:55.280 i'll break it down i'll break it down yes but i'll break it down i didn't have lube so what i use oh

01:43:01.040 soap no no i'm a no you didn't have lube i didn't have lube not soap are you ever jerked off with

01:43:07.760 soap he's saying loop over and over you said that right yeah loop loop this weekend i'm saying the

01:43:16.640 right word loop dude i raw jerk off every single time no not jerking off you actually can't jerk

01:43:21.680 it up but raw is better than using soap have you ever used soap to jerk off or soap to do anything

01:43:26.080 yeah it's all it's awful it literally it just chates your dick no i didn't think of my butthole

01:43:31.440 why would it chafe your dick i don't know it's science bro okay it's it's very weird you would

01:43:36.080 think because because you think like a chafing point i understand getting soap in your dick hole

01:43:39.360 that's oh yeah i was gonna say i would think you know

01:43:43.920 this is he uses beef tallow i've been doing too many times with soap and i actually

01:43:47.680 gave my dick the raven is so yeah so what i was saying is is he masculine what were you saying

01:43:53.600 about the raven in my show oh his fucking gay ass uh mustache it looks like it was painted on

01:44:00.240 yeah all right all right take it back and that's the masculine so i just am but what i was one

01:44:04.960 point minus one point i would go in the shower and we're back to baseline i would go in the shower

01:44:09.920 because i didn't use soap but i used um shaving cream shaving cream is a great lube you don't know

01:44:15.680 this so do you think you do actually shaving cream yes sir to god this cream fight himself dude

01:44:19.680 this is this is yeah shaving cream bye hey this is this is all uh sounding like why would why did

01:44:26.240 your wife want to see this no but wait a minute before you answer this liz did you want to see this

01:44:31.920 yeah no no you got like did you want this it was last week did you want this were you all horned

01:44:39.360 top and wanted to see him finger his butthole i used to i used to i used to facetime her in the i

01:44:44.160 would set up my phone in the shower and i was facing while i was showing just taking a shower this

01:44:48.640 before you were married yeah do you know how alpha you had you had said had you had sex yeah yeah we

01:44:53.840 had sex dude you know how alpha it is of her to tell you like hey bitch finger your asshole you

01:44:59.920 smoking a long cigar i would i would send her a picture like a video of me jerking my dick and she'd be like

01:45:04.720 like finger but and i'll be like all right whatever and then she would use to send back what she would

01:45:09.520 do what would she do oh i can't tell that jesus oh this morning this morning i asked her i was like

01:45:15.280 i was like tell what i do in college and she was like you went to what she's like you mean when you

01:45:21.040 blew all those dudes yeah and she was and she was like do you gotta tell him that and i was like

01:45:28.480 why not it's about me it's not about you and she was like no it's 100 about me and i was okay

01:45:33.360 it's always about you bitch it was my finger it was my asshole it was myself she goes oh i thought

01:45:42.400 you were talking about blah blah blah and i was like no no i'm not gonna tell them that

01:45:47.040 i'm not even kidding i thought this entire time this was just a joke because she kept going this

01:45:51.200 never happened this never this you're telling the truth you know i believe you're fingering my ass i

01:45:56.880 i think your wife legit and i and i i would literally just send a video of me fingering my

01:46:01.840 ass to her but here's i think it's a power trip i think you could have just taken one video and she

01:46:09.840 would have never known the difference of almost in different showers dude he was jerking off all the

01:46:15.760 showers in his mind he's like clearly my girl is into butt stuff so i'm gonna deliver the goods

01:46:22.800 what do you think that that was like a different picture and it was it was just like a black dude

01:46:27.920 figuring his ass and it's just a black guy and she has no clue she's just like oh she's like she's

01:46:33.120 like i am way more into that than the other she didn't realize this is clearly a power

01:46:39.040 on her part yeah no i said it's an alpha move this is like oh oh that makes me so hot when you

01:46:44.240 figure about holding her her head she's like that dumb bitch do whatever the fuck i say yeah yo we

01:46:48.800 confirmed i said what was like when your baby was crying i said i just wanted to imagine cole going

01:46:53.120 up and and liz going take care of him and and cold look at her face she knows straight up i'm not like

01:47:01.040 i got up there and don't lie you were in the bed how many business do you own and she was like

01:47:06.080 you take care of him i took care of him all day and and i had to go and let me tell me if this

01:47:13.120 reenactment uh adds up when i get back up here if you haven't fucking changed the baby's diaper

01:47:19.920 and fingered your own asshole and sent me a video of it i'm gonna beat the living

01:47:23.360 shit out of you the funny thing is like how big he is he's like comically big next to her

01:47:27.360 and still like her threats he's like yeah well she is she's taller he's still he's still he's he's

01:47:34.000 a laboratory retriever he doesn't know how big he is um cole's description of how he would uh

01:47:40.000 create these videos you know oh i did it in the tub i bent over i had the phone like looking right

01:47:45.440 in i have shaving cream on it that just sounds like how i shave it sounds like a whole to do

01:47:49.600 just show the video it is a to do that's a good point that is that is a definitional to do you're

01:47:54.400 right uh she threw my phone against the wall and broke it and so i lost every video that i had

01:47:58.640 said hey liz do you want to bring over your phone and show the video or the or the photo

01:48:04.480 she did what she's like yeah she did no that's not a lie yo he he dragged his feet on one more

01:48:11.600 ass appearing video and she's like bitch you don't get to have a phone anymore

01:48:17.200 this is an abusive relationship why are you a musical like this i thought this was going to be an

01:48:22.400 intervention i'm a labrador and i'm a pit bull and she's just a blank man and she's just beating the

01:48:27.760 shit out of me no she's the pit bull and you and you're the little kid yeah all right hey all right

01:48:33.440 this is the most important question aside from the fact that like do you need help because i think

01:48:37.040 she's beat like no it's great all right so let's get to the funny part she has sex with me how'd you

01:48:42.560 how'd you like it how'd you like it no no are you okay do you taste it

01:48:53.280 yo did she make you fucking ass to mouth your own put it in your mouth now put it in your mouth

01:48:59.200 i would go for a titty pig i would literally be like

01:49:05.760 and then she was in her tits and she'd be like this and i'd be like that's the stuff

01:49:10.000 just just like completely destroy out of my mind it's no longer your teeth are all brown as

01:49:17.440 you're smiling as you see this is all happening this is all happening in a christian college and

01:49:21.600 they're on the same campus yes no that's the whole point it was true it's true my cousin just said

01:49:30.880 it was a christian college i used to like oh but they were banned from each other's like dorms

01:49:36.160 i think i never went to completely cole please answer my question did you like it um yeah

01:49:48.400 that was the best possible answer

01:49:49.840 i didn't know what the answer was either yes or you're alive

01:50:07.360 jesus christ walked away i've never seen we're gonna try to do tower game now that was crazy i

01:50:12.320 don't know what to say anymore no that was that was tower game that was pinnacle i know i i'm not

01:50:17.840 gonna lie because you don't fucking lie yo do you do it to this very day no i don't why not if you

01:50:23.120 like it so much i literally feel like a faggot wait wait wait wait wait i'm like i'm not if i jerk off

01:50:33.200 before it wasn't gay because i was coming to like looking at titties but now that i could just grab

01:50:37.840 titties it does seem kind of gay it's the whole point of like like whenever you like you jerk off

01:50:43.120 and you feel really bad and you're like god please forgive me for this but it's adding on the second

01:50:47.600 thing like also god forgive me for being a faggot forgive me for freaking my ass god

01:50:54.080 like i think god understands like do you think he ever forgave you

01:50:57.520 you forgave you for that no so to clarify no i think i misunderstood the premise was this

01:51:04.000 butthole thing wearing recent or was this just something in college in college oh so she would

01:51:08.400 have you finger your butthole in college i thought it was like recent no and and we and we were we

01:51:12.640 were long distance oh you you gave him the space of disgust like oh gross like they would do the

01:51:17.920 reason no not only yeah not only can she not like pretend like it's gross but like you made it

01:51:27.600 like this is your doing yeah but it's because i was did you tell your friends about it you'd be

01:51:34.320 like yo this is this guy that i've been dating and he keeps doing it and they're like word it's like

01:51:40.560 look look look every day this is how much this i make him i make him hold up a newspaper just to

01:51:48.880 prove it's a different day i go i go i go i literally literally i use shaving cream i keep

01:52:03.280 figuring my ass and it's just red and puckered i like how cold i like how cold probably could

01:52:09.600 have gotten but guess what with nado shave razors you can enjoy your shave you can minimize those

01:52:16.720 ingrown hairs on your butthole razor burn irritation with our 100 recyclable plastic

01:52:21.600 free razor nado shave company well you could have been shaving your butthole with a i mean

01:52:29.360 not i didn't want a straight blade razor next to your butthole that's a vital organ yeah it's for me

01:52:33.520 it is yeah for you if i for everybody it is cool it's complete i mean i mean i'm gonna put it inside

01:52:39.600 your butthole it is i'm not gonna lie it burned it was great if it's vital for you it's probably

01:52:45.440 vital for the rest of the world i mean i used to are you unique i mean yes yeah i am he's built

01:52:53.120 different obviously look at him but i know i used to i used to i used to stick uh dude i'd love that

01:52:58.880 you're like breaking down right now i still do but i used to do no this is all the trauma man

01:53:05.440 i'm not actually a drunk i just i just take the best charges i'm the best defensive player on my team

01:53:09.920 my wife is looking at you right now with like just like sadness in her eyes

01:53:15.280 cole realizes that uh he was made to degrade himself

01:53:20.480 to that degree he was actually like molding him for this show which is kind of cool

01:53:24.800 all right um i used to not like i before i knew of the doe razors i used to use the

01:53:30.960 oiler my value and stop flingering my butthole razors if you know they have a nice curved nice handle

01:53:40.560 i would stick it up my ass and no you did not i no you didn't hand in the bible i swear to god

01:53:50.240 liz did you know that did you know that liz oh do you think she didn't know it she had videos

01:53:55.360 of it she's like yeah i've seen it listen the only i i would stick i would take no dude that's

01:54:00.480 the best i would take off the head of the five blade razor pick it off and then shove the handle

01:54:09.040 that's the best ad this is the best ad

01:54:12.880 put the nato shave razor in your butthole take a picture

01:54:16.960 is this just more weird your wife made you do no this is all me

01:54:20.800 she's broken and he just kept going she she stopped i didn't it was always it was always

01:54:30.400 are you doing this this is so insane i was always like thinking i was like um

01:54:38.880 this feels good but like and i would do it and i'd be like this will feel better

01:54:45.520 good this is i don't like this it was

01:54:47.840 let's see somebody check christian mingle subscriptions right now they gotta go

01:54:54.960 yeah dude you are you should be like the post boy for christian mingle

01:54:58.160 yeah why because it's like yo these are the type of people you're gonna meet on here

01:55:02.960 we're having a party over here cole was like totally straight then his soon-to-be wife was like hey

01:55:09.280 i own yourself and then you started shoving razor handles up your ass

01:55:15.600 but then he did it safely yeah he took he took the five razors off

01:55:20.960 those five-blade razors are bullshit yeah you gotta go

01:55:25.440 and by the way the only uh part of the razor that should be

01:55:30.000 meeting your asshole is the blade part of it yeah you're right

01:55:35.680 i couldn't put on my ass so it's to stop you from being gay is because it's like the knurling on

01:55:40.080 it yeah so it's so abrasive if you try to fuck your asshole with that with that like handle this

01:55:45.440 is a good time to remind our audience at home once you acquire your nido razor it's very important

01:55:50.480 that no matter what your soon-to-be or current wife demands of you liz you don't put it up

01:55:58.240 i i swear to god imagine again still because imagine after like like a month or so he's got

01:56:06.560 like i got to rebrand all these packages and say don't put this in your ass because the only people

01:56:10.640 that i've been advertising with are telling us to put this in your ass i have six lawsuits it's scary

01:56:15.440 too because due to its shape i feel like it could easily go in the butthole but coming out big

01:56:20.160 problem no but and this thing is no razors anti-gay gillette all those other like fusion all that

01:56:26.640 shit all gay and all gay because they're shaped like a penis and they use that silicone it's basically

01:56:31.920 i love i love you're like literally the only person on earth that has noticed that the handles to

01:56:36.240 razors are shaped like dicks they are because you've been putting them in your i've been i've been

01:56:40.720 keistering those things if any of us go to prison this is the guy that we need to have visit us

01:56:47.440 because he's obviously prepared yeah god damn it on that name yeah you know what though you

01:56:52.480 that's not what i was implying you would do well you probably are yo you better be careful because

01:56:56.240 like uh i i'm thinking blair white might have a penis just about that size yep the size of a

01:57:02.240 of a shave razor hard yep and he would just oh motherfucker i'm done for he's done for it's

01:57:07.360 over for my ass again i don't need you anymore i just think you would you know make this a lot

01:57:16.160 pretty easy yeah i think like if if you didn't have pussy for like four or five hours four or

01:57:21.200 five hours god 20 times over i like that he that he saved the story for in person because i did i

01:57:31.280 wanted to no i appreciate that like like honestly though i think if he was to be put into the drunk

01:57:35.280 tank he'd suck a dick it makes me more uncomfortable like then if it was just in the screen i'd be

01:57:39.680 laughing but now i'm kind of uncomfortable yeah and i feel like that's good no it's great i think that

01:57:43.600 would be the case with any no what's what's remarkable about this is like this is this

01:57:48.160 is the endless well of of comedy that stems from cole's existence and he literally doesn't even know

01:57:54.480 what's so funny about his life usually but he'll just like like every three months we'll learn some

01:57:58.640 new phenomenal thing about how insane he is he knew this one was wrong yeah he withheld this one

01:58:04.240 because he was doing he was like i love that god is putting me straight to hell when i put like

01:58:11.840 when my finger met my ass off it was like you know what though look at these fingers is it really that

01:58:16.560 gay no it's not those are good finger my finger i put my pinky on my ass it's not even really a pinky

01:58:23.040 it's crazy how small it is did you really pinky pinky your no i usually use my like yeah yeah

01:58:28.240 the longest one the longest one you absolute savage were you just i can't believe that you have an

01:58:41.040 actual job it's so fucking awesome it's so awesome like you know like i want the people at home to

01:58:48.560 understand you watch a show like this and you get this kind of fucking insane honesty you're you're

01:58:53.040 always watching stand-up comics do this this guy works a corporate job

01:58:59.040 he doesn't care about anything this is pure reckless abandon this man is sacrificing everything

01:59:04.160 for the comedy it's wild if your parents ever saw this

01:59:09.040 done for

01:59:13.760 i don't understand how you could be reckless and wild but be completely you know you know what would be

01:59:18.080 an incredible bit an incredible bit and it would probably end his life but it would be an incredible

01:59:22.720 bit we just sit them down yeah let me have a seat please yo we do a reaction we don't tell him

01:59:27.840 we take all of his greatest hits we do a reaction video of his parents watching it then we have him

01:59:32.400 watch it live on the show

01:59:39.440 she wouldn't cooperate yo i would i wouldn't even do it but it would be unbelievable i would do it that

01:59:45.040 it's gonna happen oh i know you're doing it we can film it or not

01:59:48.320 i have to get to the point where they're going to find no i'm not like audience if we get to the

01:59:53.360 point where i am a hundred trillion dollars if i am if i am self-sufficient or one or one razor handle

02:00:01.280 for my keister if we're self-sufficient on this where i make enough money to like provide my family

02:00:07.840 we can do this i don't give a shit yeah yeah but it's like but like you know your parents will

02:00:12.160 like not see you at christmas yeah yeah they would i'll have to wait a couple of years

02:00:17.200 really you think so one percent and if my my dad would never mention

02:00:22.560 he would never mention like shaving my face again ever is he is he like understanding that

02:00:27.360 his son is legit they wouldn't talk to him for a year wow you guys are so wild yeah it's so crazy how

02:00:34.240 wild you are her parents i'm not i'm not lying her parents will just don't her do they not have

02:00:38.880 the internet yeah they have the internet yo my my mom like all my family listens to liberty lockdown and

02:00:45.600 and i plug this periodically on there and they'll be like you do another show i'm like no

02:00:53.120 no i don't they're like they're like what's that other thing that you say you do i don't know

02:00:56.640 what you're talking about mom do i need to put you in a hospital are you you're losing your mind

02:01:01.680 that's just another bold guy with ed and not me what is this tower game you mentioned i dude i

02:01:08.320 fucking i'm i'm it's my mom with them not to watch my mom's the only one that watches the show your

02:01:12.960 mom's gangster in new york your mom is awesome mom doesn't watch the show my mom has seen it

02:01:19.120 she's not a fan he doesn't like it brings up a great uh if he fingers his own ass imagine what he

02:01:25.520 lets blizz do damn yo hey liz do you use a strap on him why are you dunking on yourself right now

02:01:32.000 it's weird i don't care i'm so i'm anti-toad send the link to your mom right now don't like

02:01:40.560 fucking kill myself in some way like send the link text it wait wait anti-toad is just how you

02:01:46.400 say you're not suicidal hey hey take take bets take bets on this i bet you we wake up tomorrow

02:01:51.280 and cole's like we gotta delete that episode

02:01:56.320 it's not happening bro it's going to the main line he's going to be pleading with us

02:02:02.160 guys i didn't realize i was like you know you gave me weed and and moonshine

02:02:07.840 it's on you you gotta take us down this is your fault the best part is this story wasn't dragged out

02:02:13.440 of him he was i was waiting with us to get it out we could have gotten out of here at an hour 30.

02:02:18.080 yeah i kept going i said do you want to still tell it and then we segued again and then it wasn't

02:02:22.000 going to happen to the cole's like i figured my body can i can i see you actually take the position

02:02:28.400 that you took the picture yeah yeah sure so basically what i would do look at these look

02:02:35.920 at quadzilla in this room i got my phone like this but way more tubby and i would yeah i was

02:02:41.440 and i would come from behind oh you put your phone down like that yeah yeah my phone's coming under like

02:02:46.000 this and my phone's coming under like you gotta turn it off you gotta get this

02:02:52.400 yeah but cole you gotta give this camera

02:02:56.000 she's my tank asshole and balls and then just my hands going up there and it's all

02:03:00.880 shading cream uh barbers and just white

02:03:03.040 shit everywhere just white

02:03:04.240 shit shout out like barba saw what was she she was probably saying

02:03:07.600 shit like that i'm sorry i'm sorry i missed this were you jerking off yeah no yeah

02:03:12.000 okay okay yeah but i had to make it manly because because if i knew if i sent this

02:03:17.360 i would get a half a nipple did you yo did you did you video and say what

02:03:26.000 yeah this is the same dude that was trading blood for like 20 a week

02:03:29.440 yeah this is insane cole has no uh concept of value at all

02:03:35.520 this dude wouldn't fucking like she would tell me that's hot babe do it again

02:03:39.920 cole's a kid that you try to trade pokemon cars with all the time because yeah he's retarded

02:03:43.760 he'll give me that charizard wait a minute did cole just seriously say though oh yeah so i was

02:03:48.080 fingering my butthole but to make this feel less gay i had to grab a dick

02:03:51.200 it didn't matter who's just a dick

02:03:56.000 i was in a dorm of four other guys and i was just like i was gonna grab one i missed every so

02:04:00.960 often it was just like oh my bad cole i think would like jump off of a bridge for a french fry

02:04:06.720 like he's just like i feel like he doesn't have any sense of just

02:04:12.160 i was in the uh we were uh i was working out once this is when i worked out in college what

02:04:15.600 what the fuck happened to you like how did i'm trying to do this i have another i have another

02:04:20.880 yo yo well he was fingering his ass and jerking off every other day he was giving away plasma

02:04:26.240 probably on the same day but there was another time so we had extreme repression plus uh brain

02:04:33.920 damage equals cold so so i was uh i was working out interesting and so at the at the gym at the

02:04:39.840 college they had um okay the wall and they would have a step down just so they have a mirror and

02:04:46.080 so you could see yourself working out whatever and they would have you know like the rubber like mats

02:04:51.600 that they put on walls like in to keep to so one of those fell off and behind it is just glue and

02:04:57.440 and like a two by four and a guy was like dude i'll give you like an arizona tea if you lick that if

02:05:03.120 you lick that i'll give you an arizona tea and i was like that's like a dollar ninety like a dollar and

02:05:08.800 10 cents and i went down and i licked the underside of like that was built 50 years ago

02:05:15.120 of the glory hole no of like of like a rubber like mat that went on the side of the wall just

02:05:21.680 fell down and like and you licked it you licked it for a beverage that is well known for being 99

02:05:28.160 cents yeah and i just went like and he kept true he was like fine all right let's go let's go i'll get

02:05:35.280 you know and you're like you're like what an honorable man and instead of instead of instead

02:05:38.800 of looking in the mirror and going like i'm out of my fucking mind at that point i had figured that

02:05:42.400 butthole so many times i was no lower than anybody in the the the the fucking wow she literally broke

02:05:49.680 you down to the to the very and i'll say this and i'll say hold on there's this black kid in my in

02:05:56.960 my high school that like you can get him to do anything just like for the contents of my pocket

02:06:00.960 like 57 cents you know you just drink those three well he's poor and he'd do it

02:06:07.600 all this all this worked out because when i uh proposed to her i had sex how poor were your

02:06:14.640 parents hold on hold on hold on was it i i'm i'm gonna just i'm gonna hope that you don't have

02:06:20.000 anything else to say you just go when i proposed to her i had sex so it was all worth it no no listen

02:06:28.560 no no anything for a crap no no it gets better because that basically is i saw i saw a full

02:06:35.920 titty we we we went off we had sex in the car in a church parking lot after you got engaged and

02:06:45.920 this is after i had my appendix out four days ago so i had to i didn't think that i went and saw her

02:06:51.360 and this gets crazier and crazier and i and i fucked her and then i had always in this thing

02:06:56.480 when we were good made love made love when we had when we were dating i would always like pretend

02:07:01.200 you ever finger your own ass when you're fucking her and she doesn't know no she actually

02:07:09.520 yeah we all knew that was happening damn set him up for that

02:07:14.400 dude you're a fucking geester geester bro

02:07:17.040 dude that woman kids is your kid my mom wouldn't let you stay here

02:07:25.120 yo we got mr keister up in this business i fucked her and i would do this thing whenever we were

02:07:29.440 dating as where i would pretend to like uh propose to her and i would be like hey what if i like ask

02:07:34.720 you to marry me right now like after we usually after we had sex mr keister is cold but his son is uh

02:07:39.760 the meister of the fire meister after we had sex billy why would i marry you now

02:07:46.400 and she's like she's like i got one reason

02:07:51.520 what's that butthole

02:07:54.400 and every time she'd be like and finally she would get the door she'd be like oh whatever he's doing

02:07:59.360 and so i did actually went up and i pulled out the ring and i proposed it right after we had sex

02:08:03.360 and then oh my god no and she cried we're in we're in the back of my crv

02:08:07.600 we're fucking we just fucked and like she's like she's crying wait can we just touch on the point

02:08:11.760 i remember a long time ago you said he just asked me he was like any of your wives ever like cry

02:08:16.320 after they have sex with you you guys remember that wow that happened a lot of times

02:08:24.480 it happened

02:08:27.440 he is the perfect balance of drunken high to tell the truth about anything it's amazing

02:08:31.600 it's like cole do you have gay thoughts yeah dude all the time

02:08:37.040 i just think about penis

02:08:40.640 yeah i had to stop it your parents have to know that your brain damage right

02:08:46.320 they think i'm a smart little boy

02:08:49.520 well they're not wrong about that oh my god no and uh and so i would do those proposed things

02:08:55.440 to her all the time and so finally i did i went i proposed to her so she started crying and she said

02:08:59.600 yes whatever we had sex again right after my refractory period was zero dude i would come in

02:09:04.800 and i would fuck again but that time i did finger her ass like i fingers her ass oh and so after

02:09:10.960 all this it all paid off because i got to figure her ass after we just got engaged

02:09:16.240 after you did it full circle 500 times yeah it's worth it it's worth it whenever you get to you get to

02:09:22.240 propose to the love of your life yo and then you'd be like i have an important question

02:09:27.040 cool cool cool i have a very important question actually actually no this question is for liz

02:09:36.560 by chance was your wedding ring uh did it was it affixed with any device that would have touched

02:09:41.440 his d spot is that was that the incentive and him proposing because i think i think that's something

02:09:46.640 that you might do oh you're talking about like i had like she has a cock ring on her finger exactly

02:09:52.480 oh yeah the way i haven't thought about that yet listen you're into it now we're sponsored by adam

02:09:58.880 and eve.com listen this is what happened tower gang at adam and eve.com this is what happened he proposed

02:10:05.440 she said yes he put the ring on her finger and she slipped that up her butthole up his butthole yeah

02:10:09.920 that's what i'm saying oh yeah i actually pulled the ring out of my butthole and then put it on her

02:10:15.040 finger and you got it into your bubble like yeah i put it on my middle finger and i'm like you're

02:10:22.320 like great we've lost five engagement rings in the past month i had to keep buying them i could give

02:10:29.120 him plasma so i could buy more this story went to shit yo that's that's the truth as to why he was

02:10:34.640 getting the plasma he just kept losing rings i did buy i did give plasma to buy that oh i believe you

02:10:39.760 yeah 100 no that's that's one of the real you're like at the biggest diamond possible you're like get

02:10:43.440 that g-spot get it get it get it get it call the legend yo that was fucking that was worth every

02:10:48.080 minute thank you no and it and like i said like i i would finger my butt i mean just keep saying it

02:10:54.160 it's awesome guys i don't know how i can emphasize enough finger my butt and she she was the thing i

02:11:01.440 don't even say what she would say but like i i definitely i got enough i'm just gonna say i got

02:11:08.240 enough back i was after i was fairly compensated for fingering my butt but only after i figure my

02:11:18.960 butt a couple hundred times of a guy fingering his butt is equal to one time of fingering a woman's

02:11:24.240 butt but he's not good at business yeah i was like i'm not even sure that that makes a million

02:11:30.960 totally make that deal every fucking day when are you toad no oh you fucking faggot yeah he has more

02:11:36.560 dignity than you yeah yeah he's been figuring butts for years he's never given up to there there is

02:11:43.600 dignity in his struggle he's gonna finger his butts because he wants to finger his butt dude

02:11:48.400 that's so what's going through your head when you ordered that smoothie i'm just trying to get into the

02:11:52.800 psychosomatic did you think it would settle your stomach no i just wanted did you think i'd bet

02:11:57.360 a finger in the butt would be great you know you want when you want something you do it yeah that's

02:12:01.840 right yeah you guys should figure each other's butt

02:12:06.800 peanut butter banana milkshake yeah i'm all over she sometimes when we're having sexual she will grab

02:12:12.800 my ass and she does get like inside the crack and at that point i tense up because i'm like it's about

02:12:19.280 to happen oh but you want it to though and then i mean like then he relaxes like he wants it to

02:12:27.120 but i want her to take it yeah i don't want to give it i want the 90 10 rule like he comes

02:12:37.520 that's consent

02:12:40.080 oh jesus christ am i am i mistaken or am i misremembering but i i'm pretty sure in a prior

02:12:46.000 episode jose has also admitted to liking what is the woman's play what's the woman's fantasy of

02:12:51.520 a men's ass not that i recall okay my wife never done anything with my bottle i mean i

02:12:55.280 why i'd be open to it yeah that's what it was yeah that's what it was let me stop that's because

02:13:00.800 i i think every man panically is because you know your way what is in the prostate your you know

02:13:07.200 your decent is prostate yeah but technically is what is it gay no okay it's it's open to the thought of

02:13:12.800 their their woman fingering their ass never happened no no i'm not gonna happen if i was

02:13:17.280 getting a good old boy if like this little finger just less pressure on the butthole probably and i

02:13:22.560 think i hate how solid his eye contact with me was when he said that i hated it just a little

02:13:30.720 he's just like because i feel like just well the dick is in the mouth i agree not finger not finger in but

02:13:36.640 near but at some point because it's gonna know the presence is there the closer the closer and

02:13:42.960 deeper you get in the pussy i just want the threats of it but the closer they and deeper they can get

02:13:49.920 in your ass and so like it's it's some kind of weird like exchange like you're going in they're going

02:13:55.120 at the same time wait wait wait wait are you describing a shit while she's fingering you

02:14:01.280 oh that'd be great if elizabeth if elizabeth makes you give birth and they know the the chat knows if

02:14:07.440 i if i was giving it was if i was taking a shit and she was giving me a blowy i can't even i can't

02:14:11.360 even imagine how that's how the chat was handling this elizabeth if you can make him give birth

02:14:16.240 would you like a seahorse would you fit the baby into his mouth without it without hesitation

02:14:21.280 100 and i could see you carrying the baby too he's just floating along i feel like i would get

02:14:25.840 more testosterone if i would get more testosterone from carrying a baby i actually would and it would

02:14:32.160 work out yeah these two aren't associated but okay all right guys finger on the taint while you're

02:14:38.320 giving a blowy also works yeah like i think yeah this is this fucking dude how long time we have

02:14:44.240 20 yeah yeah 214 i said we're going four hours tonight no no no i don't know how much more we can

02:14:51.840 milk your butthole as much as you would love us to win that just was but how long were you able to

02:15:01.920 it's crazy it's crazy how honest you are i love it i love it i appreciate it i appreciate it you don't

02:15:09.200 think your dad has these gay thoughts though i think he does you don't think your wife's gonna be

02:15:12.880 upset at you at all later no because it's not me it's me it's being what i did with her so it's

02:15:18.000 like yeah but it's okay because what we did if i said if i said what she did exclusively we'd be

02:15:26.240 like no no we can't do that but if it's me and my weird fucking foibles that's why i kind of like

02:15:32.160 the incentives the incentives and the rewards in their their relationship is just completely

02:15:36.640 uncalibrated to like normal people so we don't understand it it's so out of whack

02:15:43.440 she throws pussy i mean i just yap it up and i just and for what reason like because she loves me

02:15:51.840 i think she's manipulating you

02:15:54.880 this is the cutest shit ever it's like the cutest weirdest shit i've ever seen

02:15:58.320 because she loves me and then she beats me but that's because she loves me too

02:16:04.640 yo have you have you uh have you set the game up is she doing like two three fingers no no no but

02:16:11.200 i feel like i've done more stuff to her since we were married but that's because you're in shape

02:16:15.920 and now she wants you to yeah yeah yeah yeah and i before she was like you know fatty take some

02:16:20.640 fucking butthole fingers at one point we worsened each other stuff from adam and

02:16:25.360 eve.com back and forth to each other that's cute yeah it was really great i don't know if you've

02:16:29.600 done that with your wife in your own house or like like when you were still dating it's funny i was

02:16:34.480 smoking a cigar in our own house this was two months ago smoking a cigar and she was sending me something

02:16:39.600 mad and eve and i was like and you had dicks in heart i'm outside on the porch i'm smoking a cigar

02:16:44.720 and i'm like i gotta finish the cigar it's a it's a 17 cigar i'm not gonna not finish this inside

02:16:49.440 she's going like i'm fucking horny how would you describe the flavor profile

02:16:55.360 she does this thing when he goes on tower game too oh she she tempts me with sex all the time i

02:17:03.680 come on i get on that tower i'm about to like leave and she was like i'll fuck you if you don't go on

02:17:07.600 liz liz is this true yeah do you do you do it because you're trying to destroy our our show

02:17:13.920 no she's like no i do it because i'm psychotic

02:17:18.640 you idiots she's like i don't even care about your friends i love your friends i just want to like

02:17:22.640 destroy you just decided deciding to come on tower gang instead of fucking a woman is the gayest

02:17:31.440 thing that you can do and it's awesome and i love it yeah thank you all right that's a great way to

02:17:36.400 end it thank you guys so much for tuning in this is tower gang live from top lobster ranch on a set

02:17:41.840 friday night thank you so much for tuning in and make sure you check out dave smith's

02:17:45.120 here to eastern oh yeah peace out it's the tower power our slut no way jose liberty

02:17:55.120 lockdown to the tower power plant bitch reed

02:18:01.120 cole top lobster and toad tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang

02:18:07.920 tower gang tower gang tower gang liberty lock is truth say same with lobster cole and jose

02:18:13.920 toad is sick no way jose the tower power our slug they made dave smith all his tower gang tower gang

02:18:19.920 tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang

02:18:25.360 dave speak courage you sped sped more than rogan you fed you fed truth bomb weather tim cast hotel

02:18:31.280 hotel more offensive l-o-s no disrespect more offensive than l-o-s no disrespect yes i am

02:18:37.360 redhead libertarian is their best friend unless they get raided then they never met never met

02:18:41.840 none of this should be new to me truly clint is a sexual brute to me sorry no booster seat get them

02:18:46.800 tall boots on you not admit it fuck every podcast that won't stoop to me libertarian won't be the

02:18:51.040 same day revolutiony that's a word i miss grammar and send it to rhyme dubitedly that too

02:18:55.760 promote myself on their shine stupidly comedy philosophy mark random.com user free

02:19:00.400 random i'm single lady so please choose with me they scream tower gang worldwide tower gang rise

02:19:06.240 together we will overthrow tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang liberty lock is truth say

02:19:14.800 same with lobster cole and jose toad is sick no way jose if you read i ride jose with jose

02:19:22.320 they made dates with all his fame tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang

02:19:27.760 over generations tower gang tower gang tower

02:19:35.600 ш

02:19:46.400 they're

02:19:47.120 they're

02:19:49.360 they're

Tower Gang - August 29, 2023

Ep 139 - Live from Top Lobsta Ranch

Episode Stats

Length

Words per Minute

Word Count

Sentence Count

Misogynist Sentences

Hate Speech Sentences

Summary

Transcript