Tower Gang - Ep 141 - Semi-Cut w⧸ Gerard Michaels

00:00:00.720 Do it, motherfucker. 1.00

00:00:09.580 It's Cowagay Wednesday, motherfuckers. 1.00

00:00:15.420 What's up, retards? 1.00

00:00:17.300 I'm trying to start a cult here, baby, so I can fit a third of my dick into Toad's mussy. 1.00

00:00:24.040 You want to kill me or you want to give me a bone? I don't know. 1.00

00:00:27.060 When I say fuck the Jews, fuck it means I'm horny. 1.00

00:00:31.020 Woe is me, I'm retarded. 1.00

00:00:33.320 Have you guys ever had the mythical where there's a whole thing in and then do that shit where they're like, 0.99

00:00:36.800 The three of you had a threesome of some kind. 1.00

00:00:41.620 I was watching it and jerking off. 1.00

00:00:45.640 Fucking asshole. 1.00

00:00:47.740 Toad's a liar. 1.00

00:00:49.040 She was a 10 in real life. She's like a dead 8. 1.00

00:00:53.980 Louis, you're like a brother to me.

00:00:55.360 Donald Trump, come on, Tower Gang.

00:00:57.740 Tower Gang is the most offensive podcast. 1.00

00:01:00.400 Fat Dave, fuck you, man. 1.00

00:01:07.360 This shit is retarded. 1.00

00:01:10.060 Well, well, well. It's Wednesday again. 9-11, as usual. Nice to see it's not 9-11. It's like 9-45. 1.00

00:01:21.260 No, you should definitely just gaslight all of this. It's 9-11, guys. We did it. We're on time.

00:01:26.480 I was telling our guests, you know, I'm doing this to myself. Do you see that? I'm cutting myself off from finishing the intro. Yo, we are Tower Gang, man. I am Top Lobster. To my right is Tower Gang Toad. We got Jose Galleson. Underneath me is the great Cole. And a very special guest tonight. He's a podcaster on Gas Digital. He's an entrepreneur. He's a comedian. He's a politician. I think he was on some food eating shows before.

00:01:56.480 Bro, that's how your wife knows me, man. Come on.

00:02:00.600 That hurts. That hurts. So, where do we know you from? Like, because I, so I know you from Gas Digital. I know you from Gas Digital. And I know you do the podcast with Mickey Gull. And I was like, oh, shit.

00:02:13.760 Then I looked at your Instagram. And I was like, wait, this guy's doing stuff with, like, Patrick Bet David. He's like a comedian. Like, what the fuck is this guy? And I just heard that you're just kind of like, you're just a fat dude. Like, what is it? 0.99

00:02:25.920 Yeah, yeah. Well, you know, I was a pro athlete. And then I turned into a fat dude. So, I was a ball player.

00:02:33.660 Offensive lineman.

00:02:35.460 Baseball player. Just as bad. Just way less athletic than any offensive lineman.

00:02:39.980 You said you're an athlete and then you said a pro baseball player. Like, all right.

00:02:43.460 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:02:44.720 Yeah, you know, the sport where you sit around and drink beer and eat fried chicken, you know. 1.00

00:02:48.700 I am not going to sit here and let a motherfucker who looks like a grown-ass bat boy fucking condescending me. 1.00

00:02:54.220 That's the best compliment I've had on the show. 1.00

00:02:56.740 Flex right now. I need to see a fucking front bicep, double bicep right now. 0.99

00:03:01.140 Let me see that. 1.00

00:03:04.540 Jesus Christ.

00:03:05.380 We're on the right path, guys. Listen, it's early.

00:03:08.040 It's one thing. 1.00

00:03:09.520 It's one thing if you're going to fucking sit here and you're going to talk shit. 1.00

00:03:13.780 It's another thing if you're never going to go outside and get any sun whatsoever. 1.00

00:03:18.220 Let's know what's going on.

00:03:19.820 I must have some sun because what happened, you know.

00:03:22.340 Oh, Jesus. Put that fucking morning. 1.00

00:03:23.740 You went out. You went out. You're so defective. 1.00

00:03:26.880 You went out in the sun once and it killed you. 1.00

00:03:28.760 Yeah, it killed him.

00:03:29.900 You got – that's – wow.

00:03:31.540 Pretty much. 0.89

00:03:32.180 To be fair, whenever I go outside, I consider killing myself, so.

00:03:35.620 Hey, man. Don't – chase your dreams, Toad.

00:03:38.600 It's all related to whether you're inside or outside, but okay.

00:03:41.700 Yeah, so long story short, after baseball, I kind of didn't know what to do, and then I got into pharma sales like every ex-beauty queen and failed athlete, and then I started working in government, working in politics, and I realized that really wasn't for me.

00:03:59.780 So I went into comedy because, you know, it's a lucrative career.

00:04:05.700 It's fulfilling.

00:04:08.260 It's not really competitive, the comedy scene, as we know.

00:04:11.180 No, there's not really a lot of comedians out there trying to make it.

00:04:14.360 Yeah, and after 10 years in comedy, you know, I finally broke even. 0.99

00:04:19.280 Wait, how fucking old are you? 0.99

00:04:21.240 36. 0.99

00:04:21.640 You're describing to me – what?

00:04:23.560 36, yeah.

00:04:24.560 36. He described 30 years of things.

00:04:27.160 He's like, yeah, I played, you know, MLB.

00:04:29.020 Yeah, you know, the key to doing a lot of things in life is to be good at not any one of them.

00:04:33.780 So just do them for like a day.

00:04:35.240 You just keep going.

00:04:36.600 And start when you're eight years old, basically.

00:04:39.220 So he's just been –

00:04:39.980 More or less.

00:04:40.700 I mean, that all explains – that explains why he looks like he's like 50.

00:04:44.900 What?

00:04:45.140 No, you look like you're 50, Toad.

00:04:46.360 You and him are the same age.

00:04:47.800 That's the – that's the crazy thing is throughout.

00:04:49.560 I'm pretty sure Toad might be a little bit older than you.

00:04:51.480 I am.

00:04:51.840 And this is the –

00:04:52.460 Again, guys, guys, I don't do this – I don't do this lightly.

00:04:55.100 This is – we're not even five minutes in the show.

00:04:56.880 This is a game we play with all of our guests called Kill Toad.

00:04:59.200 It's our favorite game.

00:05:00.180 Usually we go around the horn.

00:05:01.780 We describe in which new creative way that we would kill Toad.

00:05:04.460 But we did this last week.

00:05:05.860 Yeah, looking directly in my eyes.

00:05:07.780 I do want to add – I want to add one to this.

00:05:09.260 Before Gerard goes, I'll let Gerard think of some fantastical way of killing Toad.

00:05:13.760 You've been thinking about something.

00:05:14.560 We figured out something this week.

00:05:16.420 We found out if we somehow get Toad to not come on the show.

00:05:19.900 Like if he somehow misses the show, he will kill himself.

00:05:22.580 It was – it was – we – because Jose has now instituted the rule of five.

00:05:27.280 So he – basically, if we have a guest, we can only have four of us on.

00:05:31.400 So there's a total of five people on each podcast. 0.99

00:05:33.480 Oh, shit. 0.99

00:05:33.860 No more than five. 1.00

00:05:34.800 So it's like the Joker. 0.99

00:05:36.540 You're going to break the fucking stick and throw it in the middle. 1.00

00:05:38.800 Yeah. 0.98

00:05:39.100 And what – kind of – Top had an idea on how to solve it because if Clint wants to come on – so now we have six.

00:05:46.740 And we can't do – Jose just –

00:05:48.340 Oh, we're putting this on you, Gerard.

00:05:49.880 We're putting this on – oh, my God.

00:05:51.420 Yeah, yeah.

00:05:51.760 So – and what the thing is is we've decided that we'll all come on.

00:05:56.580 All of us will –

00:05:57.140 Listen, Clint blocked me on Twitter for some reason.

00:05:59.680 Oh, so Clint's out.

00:06:01.420 So I don't know, man.

00:06:02.580 Just don't bother showing up.

00:06:03.820 So what we decided was that we'll all come on, and then, like, in the first five minutes of the show, the guest chooses who to kick off.

00:06:11.440 Yeah.

00:06:11.700 Wow.

00:06:12.180 And then it's a final decision.

00:06:14.640 And Toad – I'm not lying.

00:06:16.380 Toad almost quit the show just by us saying – like, telling this should be the thing.

00:06:20.980 Yeah.

00:06:21.220 I thought Toad was going to kill himself over this.

00:06:22.680 I think we should overrule Jose's rule of five.

00:06:25.840 Dude, I actually think it's a legit good rule to have because what happens is you have too many people talking over each other and you have too many people.

00:06:33.660 It's really hard for these, like, StreamYard Zoom shows to do it.

00:06:36.240 If we were doing, like, an IRL type thing, it would be a different story.

00:06:39.220 Like, if we were all in the same studio, I think you could do six and probably get away with it.

00:06:42.100 Totally agree with you, Jose.

00:06:43.420 But honestly, really, it wasn't that big of a deal.

00:06:45.640 But the more Toad protested, the more I was like, I wanted it to be a thing.

00:06:49.580 Because I know every other one of us would be like, oh, whatever.

00:06:52.540 I'll take a night off.

00:06:53.160 Not a big deal. 1.00

00:06:53.740 I'll fuck my wife. 1.00

00:06:54.560 I'll take a nap. 1.00

00:06:56.000 Jose, this is so hilarious.

00:06:56.580 I don't have a wife.

00:06:57.340 I have nothing to do.

00:06:59.180 This show is my entire life.

00:07:01.820 Yeah, but your Twitter is great, though.

00:07:03.080 You tweet like somebody who stays home all day, lives with their parents, and that's sad.

00:07:06.720 Me?

00:07:07.160 Mine? 1.00

00:07:07.540 Yeah, Toad's Twitter feed is bitch. 1.00

00:07:09.060 I live alone, at least. 1.00

00:07:10.480 That's slightly less sad.

00:07:12.380 No.

00:07:12.560 Here's the ballsy part.

00:07:14.420 This is the ballsy part about Jose.

00:07:15.740 He said he just presents the rule of five.

00:07:18.320 He's like, there must be the rule of five.

00:07:19.620 Nobody even said anything.

00:07:20.760 It had been decreed.

00:07:21.460 He decreed it.

00:07:22.180 Yeah.

00:07:22.620 Put it in Tower Gang Stone.

00:07:24.480 And then he sat out one episode, two episodes, maybe.

00:07:27.780 And then he goes, I think the rule of five is really good, but I'm not going to be the

00:07:31.560 only one to sit out.

00:07:32.440 And I'm like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

00:07:33.820 You just made a rule, and then now you're asking everybody else to play by it?

00:07:38.120 Notice it wasn't everybody.

00:07:39.340 I immediately singled out Toad.

00:07:43.840 That's true.

00:07:44.480 But again, I don't know.

00:07:45.700 I feel like Toad adds way more content to the show.

00:07:48.080 Like, we just can't. 0.99

00:07:48.540 That's why I like the idea of rule of five or Toad, shut the fuck up. 0.99

00:07:52.820 That's the new rule. 0.98

00:07:53.880 It's not as catchy as rule of five, but we can do six because he freaks out about it. 0.98

00:07:58.380 But he has to essentially be an on-screen producer who doesn't say a goddamn thing. 0.99

00:08:02.540 And anytime he tries to, we all use him and go, shut the fuck up, Toad. 0.99

00:08:05.700 And that's the rule there. 0.99

00:08:07.920 Toad, how do you feel being emasculated by a man who put a landing strip on his chin? 1.00

00:08:16.380 Fuck you, Jose. 1.00

00:08:17.080 Well, I'm at least taller than him, so I have that going on. 1.00

00:08:20.720 You actually, in fact, are not, you lying sack of shit. 1.00

00:08:23.780 I am. 1.00

00:08:24.620 You're like a half inch shorter, and it's such a dumb flex. 0.99

00:08:28.120 We're both short midgets. 0.98

00:08:29.620 The dumb flex was the bicep flex I already did. 0.93

00:08:32.380 Do you think that if Jose, with that landing strip, eats out another girl with the landing strip, 0.92

00:08:36.660 it gets stuck like Velcro, and he has to rip it off?

00:08:39.900 That's the purpose.

00:08:41.020 He's just like, sorry, babe, I can't stop eating you out.

00:08:43.260 I'm literally stuck here.

00:08:44.320 It's like our beards have aligned. 0.99

00:08:47.080 Really, it's a sensory thing for nighttime pussy eating, so you can kind of just feel 0.99

00:08:50.680 it as you slide in, you know? 0.99

00:08:52.160 Why do you shave your mustache, Jose?

00:08:53.880 That's the landing strip is one thing, though.

00:08:55.440 One, my wife hates mustaches.

00:08:57.120 Two, I don't really grow a great mustache, so I just shave it off. 1.00

00:08:59.240 It's very like Dagestani, like these motherfuckers out there. 1.00

00:09:02.560 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1.00

00:09:03.240 He looks like he's got a great double leg, doesn't he?

00:09:05.480 Exactly.

00:09:05.920 He looks like he could wrestle. 1.00

00:09:06.900 Everyone that could wrestle in the UFC just takes off their fucking mustache. 0.99

00:09:11.560 And it's just the weirdest thing. 0.99

00:09:11.880 Yeah, dude, the end of Dagestani in the UFC is like a superpower because they don't drink, 0.98

00:09:16.260 they don't do drugs, they don't chase pussies. 1.00

00:09:17.880 So it's insane. 0.98

00:09:19.520 These guys just wrestle bears and accumulate top game control and just the most boring 20-0

00:09:28.740 fighters of all time.

00:09:29.560 Dude, it's funny, too, because I remember Rogan talked about this.

00:09:32.340 He said basically like, I think it was Rogan or Sean Strickland maybe said it, which is

00:09:36.140 really funny.

00:09:37.000 But he was like, these guys, all these Dagestanis come over here and they'll make like 20 grand 0.99

00:09:42.040 and they'll move back to Dagestan and they're like the richest motherfuckers around. 0.98

00:09:46.680 And they're just like, I do what I do my entire life, I wrestle, I make 20 grand, now 0.98

00:09:51.280 I'm the third richest man in Dagestan.

00:09:54.640 Yeah, I heard Khabib lives in like a 2,500 square foot house, man.

00:09:59.560 That's big to you?

00:10:02.560 In Dagestan, that's a mansion.

00:10:04.260 What you need more than cave is good. 0.99

00:10:06.780 You know, like it's, yeah, I don't give a shit, dude. 1.00

00:10:08.560 This is what these motherfuckers be doing in Dagestan, all right? 1.00

00:10:11.680 That's actually just us. 1.00

00:10:13.940 Yeah.

00:10:14.240 That actually would be great.

00:10:15.500 They had that warrior technology.

00:10:17.140 That's what they're doing.

00:10:17.460 Unfortunately, that reminds me of my New York Giants boat trip that we haven't recovered

00:10:20.840 since.

00:10:21.360 That was terrible. 0.99

00:10:23.020 Wait, were you talking about the one that fucking... 0.99

00:10:26.240 No women were on? 0.99

00:10:27.380 Nothing but our wide receivers and our...

00:10:28.820 Oh, yeah, that was...

00:10:30.420 Oh, they were definitely, they were wide receivers by the end.

00:10:32.980 Oh, yeah.

00:10:34.220 That really was the beginning of the end of the New York Giants right now.

00:10:37.220 That was it.

00:10:37.840 That was so funny.

00:10:39.720 That was it.

00:10:40.800 That was it.

00:10:41.820 I think they went like 11 and 60 after that picture was taken.

00:10:45.420 Oh, because it was Odell Beckham Jr.

00:10:48.380 Oh, yeah, I remember this.

00:10:49.720 Sterling Shepard.

00:10:50.560 Sterling Shepard.

00:10:51.440 Oh, man.

00:10:51.820 Sterling Shepard's career bombed after that.

00:10:53.680 Like, it's like his rookie season, they're like, this guy's kind of good.

00:10:57.240 Like, he's going to eat...

00:10:57.840 And, like, you have OBJ.

00:10:59.260 Yeah.

00:10:59.480 And you have...

00:10:59.700 It's like Sterling Shepard's knees saw that picture and were like, pause.

00:11:03.000 I'm out.

00:11:04.260 Nah.

00:11:05.100 And that happened, like, right before a playoff game, wasn't it?

00:11:08.520 Yeah.

00:11:09.280 It was their bye week before a playoff game where they got smoked by Aaron Rodgers.

00:11:14.860 At least they didn't do it until after they beat Tom Brady twice.

00:11:20.340 Did an opposition team release it or did they do it themselves?

00:11:23.440 No.

00:11:23.580 They posted it to their own Instagram.

00:11:25.540 That's wild.

00:11:26.860 The lack of self-awareness.

00:11:28.620 It was the worst thing that happened on a boat outside of Jose Fernandez for any athlete ever. 1.00

00:11:34.360 That Jose Fernandez shit. 0.99

00:11:35.940 Jose probably has no idea what we're talking about. 1.00

00:11:38.340 This guy...

00:11:39.380 None.

00:11:39.720 It's one of the craziest things to happen.

00:11:41.600 Like, he was high on cocaine.

00:11:42.960 He was, like, the starting pitcher for the...

00:11:45.340 I remember this.

00:11:45.440 He was on his way to becoming the best pitcher in baseball.

00:11:48.600 He was good-looking as hell.

00:11:51.200 Charismatic.

00:11:51.520 He had swag.

00:11:52.400 He had swag.

00:11:52.900 He was in the face of baseball.

00:11:54.220 Yes.

00:11:54.720 And on a team that was on the come-up as well.

00:11:57.920 Like, the Marlins.

00:12:00.300 Yeah.

00:12:00.700 The Miami Marlins.

00:12:01.680 Yeah.

00:12:01.900 This is insane. 1.00

00:12:02.660 And he went out on a speedboat, got high on his fucking cocaine. 1.00

00:12:05.780 Three o'clock in the morning. 1.00

00:12:06.760 He was coming home from 11.

00:12:08.480 And just, like, all the way up, just going as fast as he could.

00:12:11.900 And then just ran into, like, a rock. 0.99

00:12:14.100 And just fucking... 0.99

00:12:14.720 Yeah. 1.00

00:12:14.900 And died.

00:12:15.380 Yeah.

00:12:15.420 I remember this, too, now.

00:12:16.960 Yeah.

00:12:17.380 This is a few years ago.

00:12:18.320 Jesus.

00:12:18.780 And then one of the, like, coolest things that ever happened in sports is the next game.

00:12:22.540 They all wore, like, his jersey.

00:12:24.920 And then D. Gordon, who didn't hit...

00:12:26.920 I think it was...

00:12:27.720 He had never hit a home run or something like that.

00:12:29.940 Maybe one or two.

00:12:31.140 And then he hit a home run that game.

00:12:33.060 His best friend, yeah.

00:12:34.000 His best friend.

00:12:34.580 And it was...

00:12:35.360 Like, he was crying.

00:12:36.440 It was a really touching moment.

00:12:37.980 But the whole thing...

00:12:38.320 It really was.

00:12:38.700 I wish there was more than 11 people at the Marlins stadium.

00:12:43.440 Were they in that...

00:12:44.700 Were they in the new stadium with that disgusting statue in the outfield?

00:12:49.960 They spent, like, the mermaid.

00:12:51.480 They spent, like, $14 million of taxpayers' money for that thing.

00:12:54.560 And then they took it down.

00:12:56.220 Yeah.

00:12:56.500 They had to take it.

00:12:57.160 It was so bad.

00:12:58.180 Yeah.

00:12:58.340 God, I could...

00:12:59.140 You know what?

00:12:59.600 We're doing a sports show tonight. 1.00

00:13:00.900 Fuck this. 1.00

00:13:01.500 I'm... 1.00

00:13:01.700 Nice.

00:13:02.380 Nice.

00:13:02.640 Football starts tomorrow.

00:13:03.640 I instituted a rule of four when sports talk starts.

00:13:07.820 I'm doing my actual one after this.

00:13:10.800 Oh, yeah.

00:13:11.500 Toad's a bad...

00:13:12.100 Don't...

00:13:12.420 No, I'm not going to get started.

00:13:13.600 He wants to start gambling.

00:13:14.820 By the way, Gerard, it still killed Toad.

00:13:16.640 Yeah.

00:13:17.020 Yeah.

00:13:17.300 How would you kill Toad? 0.99

00:13:18.040 Don't fucking distract us, Gerard. 1.00

00:13:19.220 You try to fucking loop us around. 1.00

00:13:20.420 How are you going to kill Toad? 1.00

00:13:21.560 How would I kill Toad? 0.90

00:13:23.140 Yes. 0.97

00:13:24.300 It's a simple task.

00:13:25.400 There's many ways to go about it.

00:13:26.620 You know what, Toad, man?

00:13:27.980 Yeah.

00:13:28.380 Toad, you need a win on the way out, bro. 1.00

00:13:29.900 I'm going to line up 400 fat chicks, and I'm going to fuck you to death. 1.00

00:13:33.760 Yeah. 1.00

00:13:34.420 Two, three, four at a time. 0.94

00:13:36.140 Smother you.

00:13:37.240 I don't know what's going to go first. 0.98

00:13:38.620 Your pelvis.

00:13:39.960 I don't know if your blood's going to constrict. 0.98

00:13:41.880 I don't know if you're just going to, like, die.

00:13:44.640 But I'm talking, like...

00:13:45.600 I'm talking, like, 400, 500... 1.00

00:13:48.640 Oh, these are big bitches. 1.00

00:13:50.320 Two at a time. 1.00

00:13:51.400 Two at a time.

00:13:52.060 Like, we're going to line up six or seven Lizzo's and just let it rock for two hours.

00:13:56.380 You guys ever see that... 1.00

00:13:57.140 Get bananas out of their pussy, Toad. 1.00

00:13:58.080 You guys ever see that chick? 1.00

00:13:59.440 You guys ever see that chick that did, like, the biggest gangbang ever? 1.00

00:14:03.000 It would be, like, the reverse of that, but for the dude or whatever?

00:14:05.820 Didn't that woman do, like... 1.00

00:14:07.520 She had sex, like, 800 times in one day? 1.00

00:14:09.700 Something retarded. 1.00

00:14:10.560 Or some shit like that? 1.00

00:14:11.860 Dude. 0.99

00:14:12.100 I mean...

00:14:13.280 God.

00:14:13.920 Well, it's like...

00:14:14.540 It's a cave down there. 0.99

00:14:16.460 Dude, I'll, like, have my bed covered in pillows and shit, and I'll imagine that I'm, 1.00

00:14:21.080 diving into just a pile of fat chicks. 0.99

00:14:23.220 What's the biggest broad you've ever been with, Toad?

00:14:25.020 What's the biggest broad you've ever been with? 0.97

00:14:26.340 This is, like, my dream, baby.

00:14:28.520 You've been with three bills?

00:14:30.300 You think you've...

00:14:31.220 Have you climbed that mountain?

00:14:32.640 Gerard.

00:14:33.140 No.

00:14:34.080 No?

00:14:34.460 It would be his first and last time.

00:14:35.740 Gerard.

00:14:36.600 That's right.

00:14:37.080 Really?

00:14:39.600 Oh, man.

00:14:41.600 I'd be going...

00:14:42.320 I'd be going on solid.

00:14:44.700 What I love is how...

00:14:46.900 I'll get you six fat chicks, and it'll be the best $100 I ever spent. 1.00

00:14:49.500 Come on down to Miami. 0.99

00:14:50.200 Like, virtually all of the answers to Kill Toad take my virginity. 0.97

00:14:56.880 It's interesting.

00:14:57.220 And honestly, it's us...

00:14:58.900 It's every one of...

00:14:59.760 Everybody that does it, we're doing you a huge favor. 0.99

00:15:02.400 You get to die in the best way ever. 1.00

00:15:04.240 Like, you get to... 1.00

00:15:04.980 Because the first nut you have might kill you, actually.

00:15:08.420 It's been in there for so long.

00:15:09.500 I gave him the best one.

00:15:11.960 And I still...

00:15:13.020 I mean, the challenge holds to today.

00:15:15.020 I'll fight him in a sword fight.

00:15:16.600 Like, fair is fair.

00:15:17.620 We'll have, like, this wall full of swords or different kinds of weapons.

00:15:20.660 We walk in the room.

00:15:21.860 You pick one.

00:15:22.320 I pick one.

00:15:23.220 And you get to... 1.00

00:15:24.080 I'm going to kill him. 1.00

00:15:25.060 Easy. 1.00

00:15:25.220 Trial by combat.

00:15:26.140 I like that.

00:15:26.860 What do they do?

00:15:27.860 What do they call it when the Vikings?

00:15:29.120 Like, I could challenge you.

00:15:31.600 And then if I win, I get your land and your wife and all that other stuff.

00:15:34.960 Oh, yeah.

00:15:35.200 That's how this would work.

00:15:36.700 Top gets...

00:15:37.260 Top gets...

00:15:38.120 Well, I don't know if he would...

00:15:39.440 He just gets, like, Toad's life.

00:15:40.740 He just, like... 1.00

00:15:41.180 Shit that I don't want. 1.00

00:15:42.480 He just has miserable life. 1.00

00:15:44.100 He cuts off his hand. 1.00

00:15:45.180 Can I just kill him and just not take his shit? 1.00

00:15:47.780 How about this? 1.00

00:15:48.340 How about this?

00:15:49.100 I'll help you out again, Toad.

00:15:50.040 Home gang.

00:15:50.340 Home gang is what it's called.

00:15:51.680 Home gang.

00:15:52.340 That's right.

00:15:52.700 Yeah.

00:15:52.980 Home gang.

00:15:53.920 Tower home gang.

00:15:56.220 I'd watch that.

00:15:57.620 We should put a pin in that. 0.64

00:15:59.500 So, how about this, Toad?

00:16:01.800 If you survive, they get progressively hotter as you go.

00:16:06.200 So, we'll start with, like, 600 pound, my big fat life, TLC.

00:16:12.500 And then it'll go 500, 400, 300, 200.

00:16:16.860 And then we get into the 120s, 130s.

00:16:19.120 And then if you survive that, we get into Latinas.

00:16:21.960 All right?

00:16:23.100 And then how did you survive that?

00:16:24.540 We get into children.

00:16:25.280 The crazy thing, though, is, like, as you get further into hotter, they're going to get

00:16:31.560 less quality, like, lays, but you're already going to have nutted.

00:16:35.740 So, it's like you need a higher quality lay to build a nut.

00:16:38.380 So, it's like the further, it's like the higher the difficulty level becomes, essentially.

00:16:42.200 To where, like, you can't progress to the next.

00:16:44.000 I like that.

00:16:44.660 Yeah, but I feel like...

00:16:45.160 And he has five minutes.

00:16:47.640 He has five minutes to recharge after nuts.

00:16:51.840 He's literally getting off to this.

00:16:53.620 And if he doesn't, then we get to cut off a limb.

00:16:57.620 Oh, my God.

00:16:59.760 This is getting wild.

00:17:02.820 Squid game style.

00:17:04.060 Squid game.

00:17:05.340 Yeah.

00:17:05.620 You get to pick the limb.

00:17:06.360 You have five minutes.

00:17:08.800 And then after he's lamb, we get...

00:17:10.160 He's like, oh, my God.

00:17:12.680 Come on, buddy.

00:17:13.260 Get up, get up.

00:17:14.100 I love it.

00:17:14.620 We get all you guys, we get all the tower gang guys and, like, the little black masks 1.00

00:17:17.940 with the hoods and stuff like that.

00:17:18.840 Oh, yeah.

00:17:19.100 We get to watch the entire time.

00:17:20.400 We get to watch.

00:17:21.240 You're more than watching.

00:17:22.280 You're facilitating.

00:17:23.520 Dude, I'm prepared for this.

00:17:25.440 I'm working my way up to the final boss. 1.00

00:17:27.720 How many of these fat black chicks do you think you could fuck? 1.00

00:17:31.560 Do you think you could fuck enough of them consecutively to make Gerard run out of money? 1.00

00:17:36.640 Look at Gerard's face and does he look like a guy with a lot of money? 1.00

00:17:39.680 This is the bet that you've got to make in your head.

00:17:41.760 Yes.

00:17:41.960 You could survive.

00:17:42.840 Yes. 1.00

00:17:43.280 But they are cheap prostitutes. 1.00

00:17:44.620 So, I mean, it's, I mean, you have to fuck a lot to get rid of all. 1.00

00:17:47.680 That's like, he already said six, he already said six women for $100. 1.00

00:17:52.780 So, these are cheap prostitutes like this. 1.00

00:17:54.960 Yeah, that's rough. 1.00

00:17:55.840 That's rough.

00:17:57.380 You're like 20 bucks.

00:17:58.760 And I paid for Toad's merch, I'm sorry, for Lobster's merch all at once and up front. 0.99

00:18:04.200 Damn. 0.99

00:18:05.260 He did. 1.00

00:18:05.820 Throw that out there. 0.72

00:18:07.220 It's true. 1.00

00:18:07.620 But I really like this ladder thing of like, you start low and you just fuck. 1.00

00:18:12.460 Because that first nut, I guess it's also like, can you nut from a 600 pound woman? 1.00

00:18:17.420 Well, let me tell you why.

00:18:18.220 Let me tell you why I like this so much.

00:18:19.880 It's because the hotter they get, the more he's going to want to do it.

00:18:23.820 Yes.

00:18:24.060 But he's going to be out of the juice.

00:18:25.920 No, but actually, it's going to be so frustrating for him.

00:18:29.820 No, no, no, this is great, Gerard.

00:18:30.820 I'm up-trained for it, baby.

00:18:32.060 Yeah, yeah, listen, Gerard.

00:18:33.120 So, he's told this and our audience is probably going crazy already.

00:18:35.520 I'm up-trained for it. 0.99

00:18:36.080 This man has jerked off 32 times in one day. 0.99

00:18:38.880 Time out. 0.99

00:18:39.560 Just a real quick time out.

00:18:40.440 So, if he can jerk it that much.

00:18:43.280 Cool. 1.00

00:18:43.460 I mean, imagine you add like lubrication and pussy. 1.00

00:18:45.900 Jesus Christ. 1.00

00:18:46.400 Hold on, hold on.

00:18:47.340 My stamina is insane. 1.00

00:18:49.540 Can you imagine losing your security deposit because there's just loads of cum all over you? 1.00

00:18:54.680 Your fucking landlord comes in and goes, 1.00

00:18:56.860 All right, what the fuck has been going on in here? 1.00

00:19:00.600 Dude, I- 0.99

00:19:01.320 It's a biohazard.

00:19:02.700 I own, I own. 1.00

00:19:04.220 It's a fucking puddle. 1.00

00:19:05.320 It looks like Burning Man in your fucking apartment. 1.00

00:19:07.300 It looks like fucking Burning Man, but it's cum. 1.00

00:19:09.940 Wait, do you guys see how ridiculous the rule of five is now? 1.00

00:19:12.940 How he's just going to- 0.80

00:19:14.120 No, no, no.

00:19:14.940 You presented this rule and then volunteered toad.

00:19:17.420 We just did like 20 minutes just on toad.

00:19:20.080 And then we had a bunch-

00:19:21.140 There was multiple times just in the past five minutes talking over each other.

00:19:24.840 Jose, what do you add?

00:19:26.040 205, imagine with six.

00:19:27.620 Just saying.

00:19:28.520 What do I add?

00:19:29.240 I add structure.

00:19:30.140 That's what I add.

00:19:30.820 There's some people that can't handle chewing out loud.

00:19:34.360 There's some people that can't handle ASMR.

00:19:35.980 And there's some people that when people talk over each other, it drives them out of their mind.

00:19:39.720 It's the number one comment I've gotten on podcasts since I've been doing this for five years.

00:19:44.440 Let the other guy- 1.00

00:19:45.000 It's a fucking conversation, you ADHD motherfucker. 1.00

00:19:47.040 Oh, I don't care, personally. 1.00

00:19:48.180 Fucker, calm down. 0.99

00:19:49.240 If it's that hard for people to ascertain what's going on here, put it on 0.5 speed. 1.00

00:19:54.980 Or, I don't know, grow the fuck up and understand context. 0.75

00:19:58.080 Maybe listen to what we're saying before. 0.86

00:19:59.940 Maybe listen to what we're saying after. 1.00

00:20:01.540 The whole world doesn't revolve around you, you stupid, fucking arrogant cunt. 1.00

00:20:05.220 We just got critiqued by this podcast. 1.00

00:20:08.620 What they do is they critique other podcasts.

00:20:10.980 And it sounds like, when they're talking to each other, it sounds like they're podcasting from a test tube.

00:20:16.500 It's like, audio's level's perfect.

00:20:18.860 You speak, I take a breath, I speak.

00:20:21.080 And one of their critiques was that we speak over each other.

00:20:23.260 And it's like, yes, we do.

00:20:23.980 But we do it because we love each other.

00:20:25.760 Okay?

00:20:26.380 And because we're trying to make interesting, exciting content. 1.00

00:20:28.640 These motherfuckers are like the most sterile- 1.00

00:20:31.060 They must podcast from a white room. 1.00

00:20:33.220 Yeah.

00:20:33.380 Like, it's the craziest thing. 0.99

00:20:35.800 Bro, nothing in this fucking world bothers me more than the critics criticizing for criticizing's fucking sake. 0.99

00:20:43.400 Yelp is the biggest mistake to ever happen in the fucking history of the world. 0.99

00:20:47.880 What makes you think you have the right to tell some fucking Michelin star chef what he got right and what he got wrong? 1.00

00:20:55.020 Just eat your fucking food and either go back to the place or don't. 1.00

00:20:58.360 If the place is gross, tell people it's fucking gross. 1.00

00:21:01.080 Fine, whatever. 0.99

00:21:01.680 But if you ever read a Yelp review, we showed up for a beautiful Friday evening. 1.00

00:21:06.060 Fuck you. 1.00

00:21:06.960 Who do you think you are? 1.00

00:21:08.120 Have you owned a restaurant?

00:21:10.040 Like, it's ESPN.

00:21:11.680 We want to talk about sports. 0.99

00:21:12.800 Everybody on ESPN has never played a fucking sport in their life. 1.00

00:21:16.100 Mina Kimes just got two million fucking dollars. 1.00

00:21:19.500 Social justice warrior Mina Kimes just got two million fucking dollars after they fired everybody in the whole place. 1.00

00:21:25.680 How much did they give? 1.00

00:21:27.940 She's never even played fucking handball. 0.99

00:21:30.940 But she's going to tell these grown-ass men how to play football. 1.00

00:21:33.800 It drives me through the fucking wall. 1.00

00:21:35.980 She's played some handball, Gerardo. 1.00

00:21:37.500 How much did, in fairness, I'd play some handballs with her for sure. 0.99

00:21:40.960 How much did Shannon Sharpe get?

00:21:43.320 Because Shannon Sharpe got, like, a bag.

00:21:45.720 He did. 0.80

00:21:46.600 He got, like, ridiculous money.

00:21:49.020 But, like, you're right. 0.57

00:21:49.720 They fired, like, everybody.

00:21:51.280 They fired everybody.

00:21:52.060 It's so funny.

00:21:52.500 All these commies, man.

00:21:53.460 All these commies talk about solidarity, social justice, but also break me off, huh? 0.99

00:21:57.760 Break me off.

00:21:58.360 You know, hey, look, I'm feeling for you out there, but, yo, you said two million, right? 0.98

00:22:02.740 Make sure you don't get that extra fucking five dollars, neither. 0.95

00:22:05.100 Throw another zero on there, please. 0.98

00:22:06.600 Yeah, what are we doing?

00:22:08.080 All right, guys.

00:22:08.460 You guys ready to get a mailbag?

00:22:09.860 Hell yeah. 0.99

00:22:10.220 Shannon Sharpe makes me think of that, like, the black people really are Jews. 0.88

00:22:13.460 Like, with that nose, he's got, like, the most, like, pronounced nose that I've ever seen. 0.61

00:22:18.260 And not, like, a black person's nose. 0.71

00:22:19.600 It's like it goes this way.

00:22:20.460 How loud do you think Shannon Sharpe gets in the movie theater? 1.00

00:22:24.200 He has to be loud. 0.99

00:22:25.520 Like, that motherfucker's, I love Shannon Sharpe. 1.00

00:22:27.040 I'm a Broncos fan for my whole life, and so Shannon Sharpe was, like, my guy. 0.99

00:22:30.880 Yeah. 0.99

00:22:31.240 God damn. 1.00

00:22:32.060 He is loud. 1.00

00:22:33.140 Just don't go see Madea.

00:22:34.480 Just don't go see Madea, and you won't have to worry about it.

00:22:36.620 Oh, my God.

00:22:37.500 Everybody's screaming like it's a Rocky Horror Picture Show.

00:22:40.440 Yeah, I want to see Deion, Shannon Sharpe, and, like, Stephen A. Smith all go watch a movie together in the theater.

00:22:46.500 And just, like, put, like, a scary movie.

00:22:48.620 You can't throw primetime in that mix.

00:22:51.060 Primetime's entertaining as hell. 1.00

00:22:52.240 I would listen to primetime read a fucking parking ticket. 1.00

00:22:55.360 That dude's entertaining. 0.99

00:22:56.400 He's entertaining, but I'm just saying just those, because they're loud.

00:22:59.540 I mean, they're just, and then they were just in, like, a horror movie, just those three.

00:23:03.240 Oh, my God.

00:23:04.640 You got to throw Warren Sapp in there, too.

00:23:07.020 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. 1.00

00:23:07.780 He's fucking loud as shit. 1.00

00:23:09.300 I'm trying to think of other loud fucking black dudes. 1.00

00:23:11.380 I wonder, do they get louder the bigger they are? 1.00

00:23:14.600 Is that a phenomenon?

00:23:16.060 Yeah. 0.99

00:23:16.320 There's a big fuck around and find out aspect to that. 0.99

00:23:20.200 You know what I'm saying? 0.98

00:23:20.940 There's, like, you know, are you, Toad, going to ask Shannon Sharpe to please quiet down during

00:23:26.320 Oppenheimer's?

00:23:26.700 He would. 0.63

00:23:27.280 He's so autistic. 1.00

00:23:28.340 He actually probably would. 1.00

00:23:29.560 He'd probably be, like, this motherfucker keeps talking to me. 1.00

00:23:33.060 Dude, I actually, I got really pissed. 1.00

00:23:35.540 I'm on Tower Gang, motherfucker. 0.99

00:23:37.480 Dude, I got really pissed once when I was, it was the third time I saw the Simpsons movie 1.00

00:23:42.260 in the theater, and these three black dudes. 0.99

00:23:44.340 And you're a virgin. 0.98

00:23:45.540 Yeah. 0.99

00:23:46.980 These three black dudes came in.

00:23:49.100 They did not have tickets to the Simpsons movie. 0.81

00:23:51.440 They were at some, they were in some, this is not an ailment.

00:23:54.000 They were in some other movie.

00:23:55.800 They came in midway through this movie and decided to disrupt it, and they were just talking

00:24:00.280 like movie talkers.

00:24:01.900 Yeah, they're the disruptors, yeah.

00:24:04.020 Yeah, I decided to give them a mouthful. 1.00

00:24:08.460 You've sucked their cock in you. 1.00

00:24:09.900 Does that mean you gave them a head to shut them up? 1.00

00:24:11.660 Does that mean you've sucked them off to shut them up? 0.99

00:24:14.620 That's weird. 0.99

00:24:15.500 You know what?

00:24:16.660 Modern problems require modern solutions. 0.99

00:24:20.720 No, I thought I was going to get my ass kicked. 0.99

00:24:23.560 I thought I was going to be in a fight. 1.00

00:24:24.500 It was going to be the three of them versus me and one other white guy. 0.69

00:24:27.140 Oh, I could not imagine him.

00:24:28.840 You just took like 10 minutes to describe a story of every black person encounter that everybody

00:24:33.160 ever has ever had.

00:24:34.580 I know, but it's funnier because it's me telling it.

00:24:37.340 No.

00:24:37.920 I don't know if it was.

00:24:40.640 Have we got mailbag?

00:24:41.900 We do.

00:24:42.460 Yeah, we got mailbag.

00:24:43.120 Oh, hell yeah.

00:24:43.680 Pull up some mailbag.

00:24:44.900 All right.

00:24:45.340 Jack says, Toad's the type of nigga to claim that he's written six million lines of code, 1.00

00:24:51.600 but we all know that number is too high.

00:24:53.960 Is this a question?

00:24:56.100 No.

00:24:56.320 That's my question.

00:24:57.020 The coding jokes are getting overused, overdone.

00:25:01.160 And if you really wanted to make a joke, you could talk about the number of lines that

00:25:05.120 I've deleted because I've committed a code holocaust, man. 0.99

00:25:09.340 At least put a question mark at the end.

00:25:12.180 The arbiter funny right here.

00:25:13.620 Next question.

00:25:14.180 I know.

00:25:14.520 Jesus Christ.

00:25:15.400 The next question.

00:25:16.660 Hold on.

00:25:17.080 Wait.

00:25:17.540 No, no, no.

00:25:17.960 Audience, you're forbidden from asking Toad questions directly in the mailbag.

00:25:22.320 If I see you doing that, I'm giving your money back.

00:25:24.900 Loophole.

00:25:25.480 You can ask us to ask him.

00:25:26.880 I'm the one who reads the mailbag, so I'm in control, but I choose three every time.

00:25:33.780 We only have three tonight, so that's why we need you just to like sit there and not

00:25:37.520 talk so much.

00:25:38.320 So that bad one got through.

00:25:40.060 All right. 0.91

00:25:40.860 Conspiracy extremist tops the type of nigga to go to war with every prominent libertarian 1.00

00:25:46.720 personality on Twitter and still show up to all the libertarian events with big dick 0.99

00:25:51.020 energy. 1.00

00:25:51.540 Like a fucking gangster. 1.00

00:25:52.840 Come see me. 1.00

00:25:53.680 I called you a faggot online. 1.00

00:25:55.240 They need it. 1.00

00:25:55.780 They need it.

00:25:56.500 There is a question.

00:25:58.980 Hold on.

00:25:59.300 I saw the guy at the Dave Smith show, and he was like looking at me sideways, and he

00:26:04.000 was like, what's up, man?

00:26:05.040 He was like, oh, you blocked me on Twitter. 1.00

00:26:06.340 I was like, well, you were probably acting like a bitch. 1.00

00:26:09.960 And then he wouldn't make eye contact with me. 1.00

00:26:11.620 I was like, this is weird.

00:26:12.520 This is real life shopping.

00:26:13.400 Top is the crazy, because he was telling me about the whole thing with the, we talked

00:26:17.580 about the panties thing at your house, right?

00:26:18.940 We talked about that on the show.

00:26:20.040 We've talked about it multiple times.

00:26:21.220 Okay, okay.

00:26:21.920 But Top just went up to, like, so Gerard, what happened is Top found a pair of, like,

00:26:26.460 dirty panties after we all came to his house one time, and no one fessed up.

00:26:30.440 And so, he went up to the girl that he thought it was, like, he hadn't seen this girl since

00:26:34.860 then.

00:26:35.420 He just went to her and be like, hey, did you, did it say hi?

00:26:38.580 Did it just, hey, did you leave your panties at my house?

00:26:41.100 Just straight up straight to her. 0.99

00:26:42.400 And I was like, this dude is fucking wild. 0.99

00:26:44.120 Like, he just, and she was like, what? 0.99

00:26:45.840 What?

00:26:46.140 No. 0.98

00:26:46.500 And he was like, I think you left your dirty panties at my house. 0.98

00:26:49.380 It was a conspiracy. 0.87

00:26:50.320 It was a whole conspiracy.

00:26:51.380 There was like, she wasn't even sleeping there.

00:26:53.200 It was in a weird, it was, it was a whole thing.

00:26:55.200 And we had these pair of dirty panties for the longest.

00:26:57.360 And we're like, yo, who left these, like, stained, nasty panties?

00:27:01.080 What did they smell like, though?

00:27:03.660 Not good.

00:27:04.680 And it was in the room of a girl that was staying there, but she was too big to be wearing 0.99

00:27:08.180 panties this small. 1.00

00:27:09.140 So, it's like, you know, Cinderella, like, whose fucking panties are these? 1.00

00:27:11.840 Yeah. 0.99

00:27:12.280 And I had it up to here.

00:27:13.160 It's like, been a year.

00:27:14.060 I seen her, say, hey, how you doing?

00:27:15.120 Nice to see you.

00:27:15.920 Did you leave panties in my house? 1.00

00:27:17.640 And she was like, Jose, you were there when I asked her, right?

00:27:20.480 Yeah.

00:27:21.040 She was like, shook.

00:27:22.120 She was like, uh, uh, uh.

00:27:23.920 Trying to think of the lie.

00:27:25.440 Yeah.

00:27:27.020 She lied, and I was like, it's okay.

00:27:28.380 She's still the prime suspect, but this is the biggest mystery in Tower Gang lore. 0.99

00:27:32.820 It's just crazy just how just bold Topp is whenever, he doesn't give a fuck. 0.99

00:27:38.420 I respect that. 0.99

00:27:39.620 No, it's great.

00:27:40.420 It's amazing.

00:27:40.840 I can't do it.

00:27:41.640 That's why I grew up.

00:27:42.620 Everybody where I grew up is exactly like that.

00:27:44.540 One of the biggest culture shocks to me was, was, you know, getting out of Jersey, getting

00:27:48.980 out of New York and Brooklyn, and having to realize the rest of the country is not like

00:27:53.040 that and does not appreciate that.

00:27:55.180 Yo, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:27:56.060 Because the rest of the country wants to say it.

00:27:57.960 Like, I'm from the South, and so everybody, like, has a smile, but they're like, you know.

00:28:02.280 Bless your heart, girl.

00:28:03.220 Did you lose you some britches? 1.00

00:28:05.780 Yeah.

00:28:06.920 And so they don't want to be that abrasive. 0.99

00:28:08.740 They want to, like, you smile at you, bless your heart, all that shit. 0.99

00:28:11.380 But, like, and then they go, like, they see that New York, like, style, they see that 0.99

00:28:15.980 as literally just being mean, and, like, they were like, you shouldn't be like that.

00:28:19.700 You should be nice people. 1.00

00:28:20.820 Yeah, Cole, do you ever think pussy shit like that is why you guys lost the war? 1.00

00:28:27.080 Because we were, like, we're shooting back, but we're just like, hope to find you, whale. 1.00

00:28:32.400 It's just like, yeah.

00:28:34.680 Yeah, bless your heart, Will.

00:28:36.400 It will rise again.

00:28:37.840 Exactly. 1.00

00:28:38.240 And the northerners are just like, fuck you, you fucking slave scum. 1.00

00:28:42.340 It's just fucking... 1.00

00:28:43.140 Yeah, get out of here. 1.00

00:28:45.020 Give me all your shit, bitch. 1.00

00:28:47.460 We say what we mean, man. 1.00

00:28:48.640 We're rude as fuck. 0.99

00:28:50.120 The question to go along with that from Conspiracy Extremis is, of all tops victims, who got it 0.98

00:28:56.440 the worst, and who's your favorite, or what's your favorite highlight, I guess?

00:29:00.720 Yeah, the Bueno was pretty good.

00:29:02.100 I think the Bueno saga was pretty good.

00:29:04.040 The Bueno one is kind of my favorite, because it was hilarious, the Do It Be Squirtin'. 0.98

00:29:08.820 That's in the lexicon, man.

00:29:11.480 To be fair, that wasn't Top that did it, but, like, we did.

00:29:13.840 That was Brandon, yeah.

00:29:15.100 No, well, she blames me for it.

00:29:17.980 She said it was Toad Gang.

00:29:19.400 I'm like, all right, I'll... 0.91

00:29:21.380 Well, now that they've gulagged the Proud Boys, Tario, dude, is Top the brownest white supremacist 0.91

00:29:29.120 in America, or...

00:29:30.800 He's really, he's really close.

00:29:33.100 I think there's some...

00:29:34.260 Well, are the Black Keeper... 0.94

00:29:36.540 No, I was going to say Black Keeper Israelites, but they're just, like, black supremacists. 0.99

00:29:39.940 Me and Luis J. Gomez are probably, like, right there, but he don't mean it.

00:29:44.180 What happened to that?

00:29:45.180 There was, like, a...

00:29:45.880 There was some Hispanic mass shooter recently, right?

00:29:49.080 Did that guy survive? 0.64

00:29:49.900 It could be him.

00:29:51.240 The Puerto Rican rattlesnake's bigger than people think he is, though. 1.00

00:29:54.040 Luis is a real G.

00:29:55.500 He's big.

00:29:56.120 He's pretty tall, and he's jacked.

00:29:58.160 Yeah, Luis is a real G.

00:29:59.720 No, I'm saying he doesn't mean it, like, as far as, like... 0.65

00:30:02.560 Yeah, Top is actually racist.

00:30:04.100 It's not a joke.

00:30:06.740 It's not a gimmick.

00:30:07.800 It's not a bit.

00:30:08.440 It's a lifestyle.

00:30:09.400 No, yeah.

00:30:10.460 He says all this stuff, and everybody laughs, and then he just goes, like, no, but seriously, 0.99

00:30:13.760 we're going to kill them all, right? 0.99

00:30:14.860 We're going to... 0.99

00:30:15.400 I spoke with Gerard and Mickey Gall on the phone when describing about, like,

00:30:19.700 what kind of merch they want, Gerard and all this stuff, and it was, like, total white

00:30:23.160 person, Top.

00:30:23.840 I was like, for sure.

00:30:24.780 I can definitely do that for you.

00:30:26.080 Yeah.

00:30:26.480 And I'll get it back to you, sir. 1.00

00:30:28.720 And when I hung up, I was like, fucking crackers. 0.99

00:30:33.420 It's good to know. 1.00

00:30:34.540 Keep that...

00:30:35.080 We're not libertarian autistics that want to debate people online.

00:30:38.740 Keep that same energy when we meet each other in person.

00:30:40.980 Hell, yeah.

00:30:42.400 Hell, yeah.

00:30:42.900 Yeah, I think he's going to...

00:30:43.460 We're about that life.

00:30:43.940 This is awesome. 1.00

00:30:45.100 Fuck yeah. 1.00

00:30:45.660 I think, Top's... 1.00

00:30:47.080 Did you go after the ADL this past weekend?

00:30:49.400 I'm pretty sure you did.

00:30:49.980 Oh, hard.

00:30:50.360 That wasn't me.

00:30:51.200 No, I went to Ryan Dawson.

00:30:53.000 Oh, right.

00:30:53.800 I actually...

00:30:54.840 Hey, I got to pump my own tires here.

00:30:56.960 I actually called Elon Musk beefing with the ADL 10 months ago on a podcast.

00:31:01.300 I saw that pop up on your Instagram, I think.

00:31:04.880 So what did you actually say?

00:31:06.020 What did you...

00:31:06.900 Well, this kind of circles back to what Top was asking before.

00:31:10.640 Like, after I got out of government, I got into comedy, and I started writing and producing

00:31:14.420 on television.

00:31:15.440 And then I started realizing, like, man, a lot of people are saying my words on TV and

00:31:21.280 getting a lot of credit for it. 0.98

00:31:22.480 Like, people are like, damn, that's smart. 0.99

00:31:23.620 I'm like, maybe I should just say my own fucking words. 0.99

00:31:27.020 And I did. 0.98

00:31:28.520 And I started building a following like you guys did, despite shadow ban at the shadow

00:31:33.180 ban. 0.99

00:31:33.980 Five fucking Twitter accounts. 1.00

00:31:35.620 I had my first Twitter account. 0.99

00:31:36.900 Up to, like, 60,000 people, which meant a lot to me.

00:31:39.760 And then, see ya.

00:31:41.360 130-something on Facebook.

00:31:43.520 See ya.

00:31:44.240 Rebuilt that. 1.00

00:31:45.100 So, you know, it took me years to do this shit. 0.99

00:31:47.720 And just like you guys are going through. 0.98

00:31:50.220 But I got some really cool people that became friends that were kind of insiders.

00:31:57.260 And then, you know, you get some inside information.

00:32:00.340 And then you have to discern what's real, what's not.

00:32:02.900 And then, you know, it's just been a wild thing.

00:32:06.760 And then the PBD podcast, like you guys are saying, really amplified that.

00:32:10.180 You know, I did like 60 episodes, you know, as like, I guess the second chair you'd call

00:32:14.160 or whatever on PBD.

00:32:15.760 And then, you know, I got friendly with a couple people.

00:32:18.060 And one of them was like, I said something when Musk bought Twitter.

00:32:24.480 They were like, this is a good thing for free speech.

00:32:26.440 This is blah, blah, blah.

00:32:27.400 And I was like, give it time.

00:32:30.680 You know, he didn't fire Yoel Roth.

00:32:33.700 He didn't bring any of the accounts back.

00:32:36.480 You know, he trolled all the people I want to have trolled. 0.96

00:32:41.060 You know, he gave us, you know, little fucking anti-woke cap nip for us to be like, oh, yeah, 0.99

00:32:45.800 that's right, daddy. 0.99

00:32:47.140 You know, but really, to me, it just made all the sense in the world.

00:32:50.660 This was the greatest acquisition for corporate espionage of all time.

00:32:55.240 Hey, Gerard, did you see his interaction with me like a couple months ago?

00:32:59.400 I mean, I posted all the time.

00:33:00.180 I did.

00:33:00.520 That was unbelievable.

00:33:02.100 Because it's a weird, thinking about that kind of psychology, how you're talking.

00:33:05.920 Yeah.

00:33:06.360 Like, because the response to me makes no sense.

00:33:08.500 Like, it was a clear anti-Semitic joke.

00:33:10.560 I mean, you know, hate the Jays or adrenochrome.

00:33:13.500 It's like, hits a lot of different things. 0.98

00:33:15.300 And he decided to look at Elon Musk and comment on my shit out of everything else and say, wow, 0.98

00:33:20.360 he's really buff these days. 0.98

00:33:21.860 And it's like, I've thought so long about this.

00:33:24.360 Like, is he gay? 0.86

00:33:25.580 Is this an op? 0.97

00:33:26.940 Why me? 1.00

00:33:27.780 Why respond to my shit? 1.00

00:33:29.080 Like, my thing was like 15,000 at the time. 1.00

00:33:31.080 Well, first of all, it was fucking hilarious. 0.99

00:33:33.040 Second of all, you picked a beautiful Photoshop picture of Mel Gibson looking fucking. 0.99

00:33:38.480 No, that's legit. 0.99

00:33:39.560 No way.

00:33:40.640 No way.

00:33:41.780 The community notes on that post, it doesn't address adrenochrome.

00:33:46.280 It doesn't address, you know, hating the Jews.

00:33:48.540 It says, actually, this picture was taken of Mel Gibson in 2017.

00:33:52.840 That's hilarious.

00:33:53.660 When he was doing Expendables.

00:33:54.620 He was in the Expendables.

00:33:56.040 Yeah.

00:33:56.280 I think your tweet comes full circle kind of in my career.

00:34:02.220 I did a sketch for Normal World on The Blaze with Dave Landau and Kurt Metzger and Brennan Schaub.

00:34:10.020 Some people don't like it. 0.92

00:34:11.480 It is long, but I think it's fucking hilarious. 0.96

00:34:14.280 And it's like an ESPN 30 for 30 on Smear the Queer or Kill the Man with the Ball, whatever it is. 0.94

00:34:18.880 And the championship, the Lombardi Trophy that they chose was the Mel Gibson Award for Excellence.

00:34:27.240 And I used that picture.

00:34:30.260 I've seen this picture before.

00:34:32.220 This is hilarious.

00:34:33.020 Hell yeah.

00:34:33.680 But, yeah, I think he bought Twitter because it's corporate espionage.

00:34:37.220 He can read everybody's DMs.

00:34:39.320 He gets blackmail on everybody.

00:34:42.020 It was the most brilliant movie ever made.

00:34:44.420 It's not corporate espionage.

00:34:46.140 It's feeding his AI.

00:34:48.040 Like, the reason he would want free speech on Twitter, as much free speech as is allowed by his Jewish overlords, is to continue to... 0.99

00:34:55.020 Listen, stop me when I'm wrong.

00:34:56.700 He deleted that comment.

00:34:59.980 He's just gathering information of every scenario that will ever exist and implanting it into AI.

00:35:05.020 He just said that he sued another AI company for scraping Twitter data.

00:35:08.460 That's specifically why he bought it.

00:35:09.860 For his AI to link to Neuralink and whatever else he's doing.

00:35:14.160 I don't think it has to be an either-or situation.

00:35:16.160 I think it's an end.

00:35:17.160 I think it's an end situation.

00:35:18.560 You know, you want...

00:35:19.500 Like COVID, yeah.

00:35:20.000 You know, AOC was going after him pretty heavy, and then she just shut up.

00:35:23.340 I've got a feeling that, you know, he ran into... 0.99

00:35:25.000 He started reading some wild shit. 0.99

00:35:27.200 He's like, are you sure you don't want this to get out there? 0.99

00:35:29.740 Are you sure? 0.99

00:35:30.540 Are you sure you don't want the titty pictures you were sending to fucking Prince Harry? 1.00

00:35:35.300 You ginger-loving bitch. 1.00

00:35:36.860 Will the AI of the titty pictures have three titties? 1.00

00:35:40.020 The glow is literally glowing. 0.82

00:35:41.240 Gerard has to choose.

00:35:42.080 Guys, guys, guys, guys, guys.

00:35:43.320 No, we're not doing this. 1.00

00:35:44.380 Fuck the rule of five. 1.00

00:35:45.980 He's so mad. 1.00

00:35:47.000 I'll kick you out right now. 0.98

00:35:48.200 So, rule of five, Gerard, man, you're on the table.

00:35:50.540 Clint hasn't even logged on.

00:35:51.900 Who's going?

00:35:52.520 Somebody has to go.

00:35:58.400 All right.

00:35:58.660 Well, my Venmo's at Gerard Michaels.

00:36:00.360 The bidding starts at 100 bucks, and you've got 30 seconds. 0.89

00:36:05.680 How much was that fucking super chat Toad dropped on Timcast that never was? 0.91

00:36:09.440 It was $50. 0.99

00:36:10.880 $350?

00:36:11.960 $250.

00:36:12.800 Something like that.

00:36:13.920 It might have been, yeah.

00:36:14.840 $250, $300.

00:36:15.980 I forget what it was.

00:36:16.540 Yeah, I'm going to use the power of Vito, and I overrule.

00:36:21.600 I want the whole tower gang.

00:36:23.100 I'm a fan of the whole tower gang.

00:36:25.660 I like this guy. 1.00

00:36:26.700 Fuck you, Jose. 1.00

00:36:28.260 I came in here not sure if I was going to like this guy. 1.00

00:36:30.440 I like this guy.

00:36:31.120 I like this guy.

00:36:32.000 Yeah.

00:36:32.480 The thing about the ADL thing, because Topp brought it up to us.

00:36:36.240 He was like, I really think if he does do the whole defamation suit against ADL, Topp's

00:36:42.360 tweet will show up probably.

00:36:44.560 It's going to be on a poster board.

00:36:45.760 It's going to be evidence by the ADL that he is anti-Semitic. 0.98

00:36:50.160 And it's going to be so fucking funny. 0.96

00:36:52.100 It's going to be public record. 0.82

00:36:54.380 It's going to be in the public record that Topp Lopps tweeted out, and that Elon Musk

00:36:59.100 responded to it.

00:36:59.800 Bro, the ADL is just like, the ADL is one of like 50 that they have going on, man.

00:37:06.200 You've got the ADL.

00:37:07.520 You've got the Southern Poverty Law Center.

00:37:10.020 You've got the Jewish Defense League, the JDL.

00:37:12.500 You've got...

00:37:12.760 Anti-Semitism.com.

00:37:14.560 Yeah, it's not even about, you know, you've got Act Blue.

00:37:18.100 You've got...

00:37:19.460 What do they all sound like?

00:37:21.140 You've got, what's the other big one that they got there?

00:37:25.040 The Democratic National Party.

00:37:26.520 Yeah.

00:37:26.800 Well, that's the, I mean, that's obviously the epicenter of all this, and the Republicans 0.99

00:37:30.560 are fucking useless, so if they're not complicit. 0.99

00:37:33.900 Yeah. 1.00

00:37:35.240 Yeah.

00:37:36.060 Why do they all sound, why do they all sound like minor league, like leagues, like the

00:37:40.900 JDL, the ADL?

00:37:42.500 It all sounds like something you find that a guy has been 10 years playing baseball, but

00:37:47.320 he's like, yeah, I'm in the JDL right now, and they're like, man, that's not even single

00:37:50.740 A ball.

00:37:51.260 Yeah.

00:37:51.980 So I've got strict rules.

00:37:53.580 I've got some strict rules of thumb in my life that I've come to at this point. 0.93

00:37:56.960 If a UFC fighter has an OnlyFans bet against her, you fucking never, ever, ever, ever, ever 1.00

00:38:04.240 tip after a meal. 0.93

00:38:05.440 You tip before it for better service.

00:38:07.780 Interesting. 0.99

00:38:08.080 And if it has three letters, if it's an NGO with three letters, it's fucking evil. 0.99

00:38:13.500 And if it's a guy with three names, he's an assassin. 0.98

00:38:16.580 So those are my rules to live by in life. 0.99

00:38:18.520 You've got the WHO, you've got the fucking WEF, you've got- 0.99

00:38:22.440 The HOA. 0.99

00:38:23.720 Wait, you're wrong.

00:38:24.180 Do you really do that?

00:38:25.740 Yeah.

00:38:26.440 Yeah, dude, that's-

00:38:27.380 Dude, do you know how many people Patrick Bet David is assassinated?

00:38:30.780 It's crazy. 1.00

00:38:31.460 Oh, shit. 1.00

00:38:32.220 Good point. 1.00

00:38:32.840 All I'm saying is that the rule's proven true 100% of the time.

00:38:36.840 Where did you find out the tipping rule?

00:38:40.000 We can't hear you.

00:38:40.860 I don't know if you're-

00:38:41.340 What's up?

00:38:41.600 Yeah, I don't know what's up.

00:38:42.240 Where'd you find out the tipping rule?

00:38:43.760 How did you discover that?

00:38:45.280 I grew up in a very old school Brooklyn and Jersey area.

00:38:48.740 And if you're going to go to a place that you're going all the time, like you're taking

00:38:52.660 your wife out, this is the place that you go. 1.00

00:38:54.680 It's a nice place.

00:38:55.980 When you come in, you got to figure, look, I'm spending 100 bucks at least probably, right? 0.99

00:39:00.680 You come in and you fucking, when the waiter sits down, you dap them a 20 and you get first 0.98

00:39:06.020 class service and something free every day, 100% of the time. 0.99

00:39:09.240 If it's a place you're going to, you know, all the time, like don't do it at Wendy's Toad.

00:39:13.640 That'd be weird. 1.00

00:39:15.000 But fuck you. 1.00

00:39:15.980 You know, if you got a restaurant you're going to, you got a place you go to, it's nice 1.00

00:39:20.780 to be-

00:39:21.140 It's kind of like when you're at the bar and you put down, like you want to get the bar

00:39:25.380 theater's attention.

00:39:26.140 So you just slap down the $5 bill to begin with.

00:39:28.620 $5 bill?

00:39:29.580 Come on.

00:39:29.920 I mean, what, I mean. 0.97

00:39:31.280 I mean, it's looking like he's going to kill you. 1.00

00:39:34.140 It's looking like he's got the type of money to kill you with fat pussy. 1.00

00:39:37.200 He's going to hire Patrick David to kill you. 1.00

00:39:43.700 The fat pussy would be a fine way to go out. 1.00

00:39:46.760 Yeah, it really would be. 1.00

00:39:48.240 And I think the ladder, I think the sex ladder that we had mentioned is a great way. 0.94

00:39:53.680 And you would just die.

00:39:54.800 And like, I don't know if anybody played The Sims ever growing up, but you can die from 1.00

00:39:58.620 fucking too much. 0.99

00:39:59.400 And I think that would- 0.99

00:40:00.280 Clint, are you good, man? 0.99

00:40:02.400 What the fuck is going on? 0.99

00:40:03.760 Can you hear me? 1.00

00:40:04.880 Yes, we can hear you.

00:40:05.640 That is so loud.

00:40:06.280 That is so loud.

00:40:07.280 Oh, okay.

00:40:07.880 I can't hear myself. 1.00

00:40:08.940 Fuck. 1.00

00:40:09.340 Oh, shit. 1.00

00:40:10.500 All right. 1.00

00:40:10.720 He's going on with a new show.

00:40:14.220 I can hear myself now. 1.00

00:40:14.880 Talk to some dude that fucked Obama. 1.00

00:40:17.440 He probably thinks he's all good. 1.00

00:40:18.340 He comes back here.

00:40:19.180 We're going to get to that.

00:40:21.480 Tell Luke to buy another mic. 0.98

00:40:22.420 I really, I saw you bought your own mic to this fucking thing that was supposed to be 0.99

00:40:26.160 like, IRL professional. 0.98

00:40:28.000 In fairness, it was our first episode. 0.99

00:40:29.700 And number two, you know, I just spent two and a half hours talking about a guy sucking 1.00

00:40:35.500 Barack Obama's dick. 1.00

00:40:36.820 And this is still the gayest thing I've done all day. 1.00

00:40:38.720 So thank you guys for having me.

00:40:39.900 Guys, hold on one second.

00:40:41.200 We have a brand new segment to the show.

00:40:43.160 No, dude.

00:40:43.820 Are we going to... 0.97

00:40:44.160 It is gay. 0.99

00:40:48.860 This is, is it gay? 1.00

00:40:50.140 This is a question that we've asked a lot of times on Tower Gang.

00:40:52.980 And we just do it philosophically, like run through situational, you know, different situations

00:40:58.160 that happen to arrive.

00:40:59.520 So, Toad, go ahead and pull that up. 0.90

00:41:01.380 We're going to talk about, is this gay? 0.94

00:41:03.540 We had a... 0.73

00:41:04.400 Which one?

00:41:04.980 The Obama or Felcher? 0.91

00:41:07.120 No, we had some guy running for president.

00:41:09.040 I have no idea.

00:41:09.540 We're doing the...

00:41:10.360 We'll do the Felcher first and then Obama. 0.67

00:41:12.700 Okay, so go ahead and pull that up.

00:41:14.340 Yeah, you're good.

00:41:15.300 You sound great.

00:41:15.880 How was it?

00:41:16.480 How was that?

00:41:17.240 Yeah, how was Obama gay man?

00:41:18.840 Who was top?

00:41:19.360 Who was bottom?

00:41:20.000 It was incredibly fun. 1.00

00:41:21.900 I found out that this guy has literally never used his dick, which is... 1.00

00:41:26.820 What? 1.00

00:41:27.480 What?

00:41:27.780 Yeah, which is like something we need to talk about a lot.

00:41:30.640 We'll talk about it after we do this.

00:41:32.540 And I still have the best of the three mailbags that I didn't get to yet, just so you know. 0.99

00:41:37.460 What the fuck is this? 0.98

00:41:38.400 We're on a different segment. 1.00

00:41:39.440 Yeah, yeah, I play it.

00:41:40.040 I know.

00:41:40.560 I'm just saying.

00:41:41.260 Today is the biggest day of my life. 1.00

00:41:43.340 Which sounds like someone that sucks cum. 0.99

00:41:45.060 And I'm running for president of the United States of America. 0.99

00:41:48.200 I am not a politician, but let's face it, the world has never been helped by politicians.

00:41:53.740 The government is corrupt.

00:41:55.140 We don't need any more politicians on the show.

00:41:56.360 Why is he wearing an eye black?

00:41:57.420 Did you have a game coming up or something?

00:41:58.980 We need real critical thinkers.

00:42:00.440 This is what America needs.

00:42:01.900 We need candidate that represents the American population.

00:42:05.480 Game time, baby.

00:42:06.260 I came from nothing, and because of the American people... 0.98

00:42:08.200 And drinking Anheuser-Busch, that's gay, too. 0.82

00:42:11.040 No, it's Modelo. 1.00

00:42:12.160 It's shitty Mexican beer. 0.98

00:42:13.900 I thought it was owned by Anheuser-Busch. 0.99

00:42:15.320 It's still in dev.

00:42:16.140 It's still in dev.

00:42:17.200 Everything is present in this beautiful country, and I want to make sure your voices are heard.

00:42:20.980 That's why I believe you should vote for me to be president of the United States of America.

00:42:28.060 Yeah, I'm not voting for you to do it.

00:42:29.440 No, no, I will not.

00:42:33.780 Oh, my God.

00:42:35.140 Maybe don't pause it on that.

00:42:36.540 I don't know.

00:42:37.280 No, keep it there.

00:42:37.960 That's free.

00:42:38.740 I thought you wanted to read it.

00:42:40.280 I just unloaded the biggest cream pie inside of baby Kate 666, 0.91

00:42:43.920 and then I sucked it all out.

00:42:45.540 Yummy. 0.61

00:42:46.300 If you're on my OnlyFamily...

00:42:47.340 No, he sucked it all out. 0.99

00:42:49.400 He sucked it all with six, seven L's out. 1.00

00:42:52.300 Okay. 1.00

00:42:53.420 Is this gay? 0.99

00:42:54.780 Forget about running for president. 1.00

00:42:56.400 Yeah, that's gay. 0.99

00:42:57.180 I think anybody running for president or considering it is gay. 0.99

00:42:59.800 Yeah, no, that's gay. 0.99

00:43:00.380 I'm going to go not gay, because it's actually just cheaper than Plan B. 1.00

00:43:03.900 That's what he's doing. 0.99

00:43:04.840 He's just like, she's not going to frame it if I suck all the come out. 0.99

00:43:07.740 And he made a point to say, I sucked it all out. 0.98

00:43:11.720 It's not Snake Venom. 1.00

00:43:13.920 You've got to vacuum that shit all out, man. 0.99

00:43:17.440 He was like, she doesn't get pregnant as long as I get older. 1.00

00:43:18.860 He gets it backwards.

00:43:20.000 He definitely gets it backwards. 1.00

00:43:21.460 He throws snakes downstairs, and he sucks out his fucking own cum. 1.00

00:43:24.540 Yeah. 1.00

00:43:27.680 No, I can see... 1.00

00:43:30.500 I don't think it's gay, because one, if you eat your own cum, 1.00

00:43:33.740 I don't think that's gay. 0.99

00:43:34.900 Yeah, it is. 0.63

00:43:36.160 Accidentally. 0.99

00:43:36.800 It's gay. 1.00

00:43:37.260 You're the gayest person ever for even nine years. 1.00

00:43:40.280 Is it cannibalism? 0.99

00:43:41.900 Technically.

00:43:42.260 Well, then having dudes come in your mouth is also cannibalism. 1.00

00:43:47.200 Wait, so... 0.89

00:43:48.860 Yes.

00:43:49.840 Wait, wait. 0.98

00:43:51.220 On this show, we've all admitted to tasting our own cum, right? 0.82

00:43:55.020 No, we have not. 0.55

00:43:55.840 No, I actually never have.

00:43:56.460 Yeah, you're not...

00:43:58.420 I like the way you did that.

00:43:59.640 That's the way Democrats talk. 0.97

00:44:01.180 They're like, we all agree.

00:44:02.460 I did not inhale.

00:44:07.560 This has been stated, and it's been stated clearly,

00:44:11.600 and that's why we call it clearly stated.

00:44:13.960 Dude, look, sometimes you fire a rope, man,

00:44:16.440 and it just hits you right in the face.

00:44:17.720 That doesn't happen?

00:44:18.160 No, I think this is like whenever you call it... 1.00

00:44:20.100 Is your face in your mouth, you fucking freak? 0.99

00:44:21.460 When you said Clint has ED, you did the same thing there, 1.00

00:44:24.420 where you just like say something,

00:44:25.640 and you're like, yeah, we all tasted cum, 0.86

00:44:27.320 and you're like, no, we haven't. 0.93

00:44:28.500 You're like, Clint has erectile dysfunction,

00:44:30.580 and he's like, no, I don't. 1.00

00:44:32.820 It just makes shit up. 0.98

00:44:34.440 It's amazing. 0.98

00:44:35.440 I think me and Toe are the only ones who've admitted it, so...

00:44:37.920 Yeah, I have.

00:44:38.460 I've never tasted my cum, 0.99

00:44:39.500 but I don't think it would be a gay thing to taste my own cum. 0.98

00:44:41.680 I didn't do it on purpose. 0.99

00:44:43.040 It was like I was in high school.

00:44:44.820 I was like, uh, 0.99

00:44:45.600 and just like wasn't paying attention where my dick was pointed, 1.00

00:44:47.780 and fucking whoop, right in the fucking mouth. 1.00

00:44:49.700 I don't believe you. 1.00

00:44:50.580 How much of it?

00:44:51.280 All of it?

00:44:51.900 I don't know.

00:44:52.340 It was probably just like a tiny bit.

00:44:53.440 I don't remember. 0.93

00:44:53.580 You sucked it all out. 0.99

00:44:54.540 Yeah, I sucked it all out. 0.99

00:44:55.840 What did you do with it? 0.88

00:44:56.660 Did you swallow it, or did you spit it? 1.00

00:44:57.960 Spit that shit out. 1.00

00:44:59.800 All right. 1.00

00:45:00.180 I wasn't too happy,

00:45:01.180 but she just came in my mouth in high school. 1.00

00:45:02.940 So then you let your wife not have to swallow it then, right? 0.91

00:45:07.420 Because in your own life,

00:45:09.160 you didn't even swallow it.

00:45:10.520 You spit it out. 1.00

00:45:11.040 So if your wife spits out your cum after you blow it. 1.00

00:45:12.860 I like that framing that you let her. 1.00

00:45:15.040 You let her. 1.00

00:45:16.060 You swallow that whore. 1.00

00:45:17.400 I let her. 1.00

00:45:18.660 Oh, God.

00:45:20.620 Well, so at what point does this become gay 0.89

00:45:23.860 if it's not gay already? 0.97

00:45:24.960 The felgian. 0.99

00:45:25.360 I think if another guy cream pies a girl, 1.00

00:45:28.100 and then you suck out that cum. 1.00

00:45:29.320 Very gay. 1.00

00:45:30.120 What is the fucking discussion here? 1.00

00:45:31.400 That was the gayest thing I've ever seen in my fucking life. 1.00

00:45:33.680 Thank you. 1.00

00:45:34.500 From the lisp to the fucking face tattoo? 1.00

00:45:38.220 Oh, that is gay. 1.00

00:45:38.680 What are we talking about here? 0.98

00:45:39.600 We're talking to you on the felgian itself.

00:45:41.820 That was like an 8.5.

00:45:42.780 Well, the source of the cum matters, 0.99

00:45:45.000 but I think also the orifice that you suck it out of matters. 0.98

00:45:47.640 We also had a thing on the show where it's like, 1.00

00:45:50.400 if there's a vagina involved, it does negate the gay. 1.00

00:45:53.900 Yes. 0.99

00:45:54.260 So there isn't very much a vagina involved in this. 1.00

00:45:56.320 What? 1.00

00:45:57.060 It's very hard to get the vagina. 1.00

00:45:57.640 You're telling me if Cole fucks Toad in the ass, 1.00

00:46:01.120 but he eats pussy while it's happening, it's not gay? 1.00

00:46:03.680 Good question. 1.00

00:46:04.880 That is a great question. 0.76

00:46:06.260 Is it gay? 0.99

00:46:09.440 Play the graphic. 0.97

00:46:10.740 Play the graphic. 1.00

00:46:11.860 What kind of flat earth shit? 1.00

00:46:15.140 I mean... 1.00

00:46:15.700 You say that like it's a bad thing.

00:46:17.000 Really? 0.99

00:46:17.420 You think this shit is round? 1.00

00:46:18.960 Incredible. 1.00

00:46:20.060 I mean, I guess that would be gay, 1.00

00:46:23.740 but it would also... 0.88

00:46:25.120 You guess?

00:46:26.540 Yeah, well, here's the thing. 1.00

00:46:27.740 You're fucking the man. 1.00

00:46:28.920 No, no, no. 1.00

00:46:29.420 That's the thing. 1.00

00:46:29.920 I think if you flip it and I'm fucking pussy, 1.00

00:46:32.580 but I'm eating Toad's ass, 1.00

00:46:34.500 I think that's way less gay. 1.00

00:46:36.800 It's still gay. 1.00

00:46:37.880 The fact that you're trying to define the spectrum 0.58

00:46:40.940 is immediately that you're on it. 0.95

00:46:44.500 You're on the spectrum of gay, 1.00

00:46:46.800 which makes you gay. 0.89

00:46:49.280 Oh, I mean, they've already... 0.93

00:46:50.360 I mean, they were all like saying

00:46:51.720 because there's a video of me 0.99

00:46:53.500 fingering my butthole, 0.99

00:46:54.560 and so they were like, 1.00

00:46:55.100 this dude's gay. 0.77

00:46:56.580 Like, this guy is legitimately gay, 0.90

00:46:58.320 but I'm not.

00:46:58.600 Yeah, but the other...

00:46:59.220 You did that because your wife

00:47:01.300 gaslit you into thinking she liked that. 1.00

00:47:03.460 Yes, pussy was involved. 1.00

00:47:03.880 So I think the pursuit of pussy 1.00

00:47:05.520 was the objective, 0.99

00:47:06.960 so it's not his wife.

00:47:08.840 So I've told this story

00:47:10.240 a couple different times,

00:47:11.080 but maybe this will...

00:47:12.800 It kind of sits.

00:47:14.800 Dominican Republic.

00:47:16.120 The guys from the Dominican,

00:47:17.080 when I played rookie ball

00:47:19.220 and I first met these new cultures,

00:47:22.060 very interesting

00:47:22.760 because they do not have

00:47:23.980 the same social mores that we do.

00:47:27.280 And as it turns out,

00:47:29.480 we learned the guy

00:47:31.260 who gets head from a guy

00:47:32.920 in the Dominican Republic 0.95

00:47:33.980 is not gay. 1.00

00:47:34.640 You can fuck a guy 1.00

00:47:35.440 and not be gay. 1.00

00:47:36.320 It's the guy who blows you 1.00

00:47:37.520 or gets fucked. 1.00

00:47:38.360 He's the gay guy. 1.00

00:47:39.840 That makes sense. 0.87

00:47:40.320 I agree with that.

00:47:41.000 Barack Obama is not gay.

00:47:42.880 Yeah.

00:47:43.100 That's what you're saying.

00:47:43.640 So by Dominican rules,

00:47:45.780 yeah.

00:47:47.480 The unfortunate problem

00:47:49.840 for Barack Obama, 0.99

00:47:51.840 he's not in the fucking Dominican. 0.99

00:47:53.780 Yeah. 0.99

00:47:55.240 Oh, this is America.

00:47:57.780 So wait,

00:47:58.340 this is like a Vegas situation?

00:47:59.700 So if I go to the Dominican Republic 1.00

00:48:01.280 and I fuck a dude, 1.00

00:48:03.240 I can be like... 1.00

00:48:04.600 It stays there.

00:48:05.260 We're Dominican rules.

00:48:06.400 We're Dominican rules right here. 0.98

00:48:07.100 The AIDS comes home,

00:48:08.020 but the AIDS stays there.

00:48:09.220 Once I step foot back

00:48:13.680 onto American soil 1.00

00:48:14.520 with my AIDS dick, 1.00

00:48:15.840 at that point, 1.00

00:48:16.620 I am a fag. 1.00

00:48:17.380 But if I stay 1.00

00:48:18.120 in the Dominican Republic

00:48:19.120 for the rest of my life,

00:48:20.920 I can just...

00:48:22.040 Wait, so the biggest question here,

00:48:23.560 do you believe that guy, Clint?

00:48:24.840 Do you believe him 1.00

00:48:25.880 or is he full of shit? 1.00

00:48:26.680 Oh, yeah. 1.00

00:48:27.460 I believe him.

00:48:27.900 I didn't even think that.

00:48:28.460 Do you believe him?

00:48:29.000 I think he blew Barack Obama

00:48:31.000 and then the next day,

00:48:32.420 Barack showed up at his hotel

00:48:33.520 and he blew him again

00:48:34.440 and they did cocaine. 1.00

00:48:35.240 What did he say about his dick? 1.00

00:48:36.300 Yeah, it's immediately 1.00

00:48:37.340 where my brain went to.

00:48:38.320 This is the greatest... 1.00

00:48:39.740 Describe Obama's dick to me. 1.00

00:48:40.780 This is legitimately... 1.00

00:48:42.100 Legitimately,

00:48:42.520 this is the greatest...

00:48:43.320 Yeah, no, of course it is.

00:48:45.620 This is the greatest moment

00:48:46.680 in podcast history.

00:48:47.800 I was sitting there.

00:48:49.360 We're on YouTube. 1.00

00:48:50.260 I'm like, fuck, 0.99

00:48:51.460 I'm just sitting there 0.99

00:48:52.260 for over an hour

00:48:53.380 just like,

00:48:53.920 I just want to know 1.00

00:48:54.640 what his dick looks like. 1.00

00:48:55.520 I just want to know 1.00

00:48:56.280 what his dick looks like. 1.00

00:48:57.180 We finally transition 1.00

00:48:58.220 over to Rumble

00:48:58.860 and then we're like

00:48:59.960 a half an hour through

00:49:00.800 and Luke just goes,

00:49:02.240 Clint, you know you want to ask it.

00:49:03.480 And I'm like,

00:49:03.800 yes, I do.

00:49:04.660 That dude looks so bad.

00:49:05.780 He's sweating the whole time.

00:49:07.040 Yeah, I'm just like,

00:49:08.180 I'm like, okay.

00:49:08.740 He's just pouring sweat.

00:49:10.720 I'm like, hey, 1.00

00:49:12.120 what's his dick look like? 1.00

00:49:14.940 I don't know, man. 1.00

00:49:16.300 I got to know.

00:49:17.320 Long, thin.

00:49:18.780 Yeah, all right.

00:49:19.300 So I pause him

00:49:21.800 because I'm like,

00:49:22.760 look, I've been talking...

00:49:23.580 And by the way,

00:49:24.140 we got like 20 Tower Gang shoutouts

00:49:26.520 in this segment

00:49:27.600 because he's like,

00:49:28.720 the entire Tower Gang crew

00:49:30.140 wants to know.

00:49:30.960 You got to tell us.

00:49:31.620 So I pause him

00:49:32.840 and I'm like,

00:49:33.300 look, I have a thesis.

00:49:35.360 He's long.

00:49:36.120 He's skinny. 1.00

00:49:37.100 So is his dick. 1.00

00:49:38.260 I think he's got a skinny piece 1.00

00:49:39.960 and he's like,

00:49:41.040 he's all right.

00:49:41.520 Well, what do you think average is? 1.00

00:49:42.880 This guy is fucking based as hell. 0.99

00:49:44.180 He's like, 1.00

00:49:44.620 he's so open,

00:49:45.780 total open book.

00:49:46.900 And I'm like,

00:49:47.220 can we get him on here?

00:49:49.000 No, he's done doing podcasts after this.

00:49:50.640 He's never going to do anything again.

00:49:52.200 The only thing he will do,

00:49:53.660 the only thing he will do

00:49:54.640 is take a polygraph

00:49:55.460 to prove that he's telling the truth

00:49:56.640 and beyond that,

00:49:57.400 he's never going to talk

00:49:58.240 to the media again.

00:49:58.860 All right, well,

00:49:59.140 let's tell him we'll have a polygraph. 1.00

00:50:00.720 What if I promise to fuck him? 1.00

00:50:05.940 Gerard, Gerard's a businessman. 1.00

00:50:07.240 He knows we'll get this guy's interest.

00:50:08.400 I'll get my podcast 1.00

00:50:09.680 and I'll fuck you 1.00

00:50:10.560 while you eat Toad's ass. 1.00

00:50:12.880 It won't be good. 1.00

00:50:13.760 It's not gay. 0.67

00:50:14.520 This guy's afraid that,

00:50:15.740 it's business.

00:50:16.600 That's how Hollywood does it, right?

00:50:17.940 It's a Brokeback Mountain.

00:50:18.760 I'm an actor.

00:50:19.420 I'm not a kid.

00:50:20.480 This guy's afraid that Obama's

00:50:21.960 going to take a hammer to him

00:50:23.060 and he's going to wind up 0.79

00:50:23.820 in the ocean.

00:50:25.700 We wager Toad's virginity.

00:50:27.720 We're probably going to find out 1.00

00:50:28.700 that A, his dick is long 1.00

00:50:30.400 and B, this guy was 1.00

00:50:31.460 an avid paddleboarder.

00:50:33.120 Yes, exactly.

00:50:34.180 All right, so I asked him

00:50:34.980 about that too

00:50:35.640 and he says it wouldn't surprise him 0.98

00:50:38.080 if that was his gay lover. 0.96

00:50:39.880 All right, so drum roll, please. 1.00

00:50:42.100 His dick is average, 1.00

00:50:44.180 so it's six inches, 1.00

00:50:45.520 but he said specifically 1.00

00:50:47.620 pencil dick. 1.00

00:50:49.600 Pencil dick and it gets better. 1.00

00:50:51.160 It gets better. 1.00

00:50:51.840 So he's got a six-inch pencil dick 1.00

00:50:53.540 and he says, 1.00

00:50:54.680 this is how I know 1.00

00:50:56.200 this motherfucker's 1.00

00:50:56.840 telling the truth, all right? 1.00

00:50:57.600 He says,

00:50:59.600 there's some girls in the room 1.00

00:51:00.720 and he's like,

00:51:01.200 some girls may not know about this, 1.00

00:51:02.540 but all guys do.

00:51:03.520 And I was like,

00:51:04.120 no, we all know about this.

00:51:05.260 You're very strange.

00:51:06.060 But anyways,

00:51:06.540 he's never been with a woman, 0.99

00:51:07.380 so he doesn't know shit. 0.99

00:51:08.100 And he's like, 0.99

00:51:08.940 all men know about cut versus uncut.

00:51:11.780 Barack is cut,

00:51:13.680 but there's a lot of slack,

00:51:15.340 so it still looks as if

00:51:16.640 he's kind of not cut.

00:51:18.340 And I was like, 0.98

00:51:18.980 you've got to be fucking kidding me. 0.98

00:51:20.700 To go that specific, 0.99

00:51:22.200 there's no fucking way 0.99

00:51:23.440 in hell this dude's lying. 0.99

00:51:24.940 That is so crazy. 1.00

00:51:25.380 Does Obama's dick also give good speeches? 1.00

00:51:28.980 Let me be clear. 0.99

00:51:32.500 Let me be clear.

00:51:34.340 Your mouth feels delicious. 1.00

00:51:37.200 So he's got a pencil dick, 1.00

00:51:39.860 six inches, 1.00

00:51:41.080 and also, 1.00

00:51:42.420 this guy doesn't use his own dick. 1.00

00:51:45.500 So he didn't, 1.00

00:51:46.380 because I asked him,

00:51:47.200 I was like,

00:51:47.500 this sounds like a really greedy lover scenario

00:51:49.520 where you're just blowing this guy

00:51:51.640 and that's it, 0.99

00:51:52.180 and that's the end of the fucking shebang 1.00

00:51:54.240 every single time. 0.99

00:51:55.280 He's like,

00:51:55.540 look,

00:51:56.460 he's like,

00:51:57.140 he's like,

00:51:57.420 look,

00:51:58.060 yeah,

00:51:58.500 that's what he said,

00:51:59.020 semi-cut.

00:51:59.700 He's like,

00:52:00.020 he's like,

00:52:00.320 look, 1.00

00:52:00.500 I've never used my dick 0.99

00:52:02.380 and I don't intend to, 0.99

00:52:03.240 and I was like, 0.99

00:52:03.700 what the fuck? 1.00

00:52:04.920 So apparently this guy just blows 1.00

00:52:06.580 and gets banged. 0.92

00:52:07.960 That's it.

00:52:08.520 That's his whole life.

00:52:09.100 How does he come?

00:52:10.500 How does he come?

00:52:11.420 Prostate.

00:52:12.200 I wish,

00:52:12.760 you know,

00:52:13.360 Top,

00:52:13.620 I wish you had been there

00:52:14.320 to ask the important questions.

00:52:15.780 Wait, 0.98

00:52:15.980 so this guy is gay 0.93

00:52:17.740 and Obama isn't? 0.92

00:52:18.820 Is that what we're saying?

00:52:20.020 I mean,

00:52:20.460 that's what this segment's about.

00:52:21.580 You tell me.

00:52:22.640 Wow.

00:52:23.620 You know who is the angriest man

00:52:26.080 in America about this news?

00:52:28.200 Pete Buttigieg. 0.99

00:52:29.420 He's fucking done. 0.99

00:52:30.420 He's like, 1.00

00:52:31.180 man.

00:52:31.500 Done.

00:52:32.180 He has one road to the presidency.

00:52:34.460 Obama already took that Hershey Highway.

00:52:36.760 Yep. 0.99

00:52:37.140 He's the first gay 1.00

00:52:38.120 and first black president.

00:52:40.060 That's just too much.

00:52:41.260 Like,

00:52:41.980 you're doing too much out there, bro.

00:52:43.220 What did he say 1.00

00:52:44.120 Michelle's dick looked like? 1.00

00:52:45.660 I did ask, 1.00

00:52:46.860 I did ask,

00:52:47.580 and he was very blunt

00:52:48.960 that he believes

00:52:49.800 that she's a woman,

00:52:50.900 but that Obama

00:52:52.160 most likely chose her

00:52:53.460 because of her masculine appearance 0.67

00:52:55.620 because he is 0.87

00:52:56.540 most likely a homosexual. 0.99

00:52:58.120 Gorilla back she has. 1.00

00:52:59.540 Oh my God. 1.00

00:53:00.260 She has a fucking 1.00

00:53:01.100 just absolute, 1.00

00:53:02.340 like,

00:53:03.180 turtle shell for her.

00:53:04.000 He wants to look at that

00:53:04.800 while he's railing it from behind.

00:53:06.040 Yeah,

00:53:06.300 he's like, 1.00

00:53:06.640 he only does her in the ass as well. 1.00

00:53:08.920 He does not touch her pussy. 1.00

00:53:09.940 I bet you serious money 1.00

00:53:11.520 he fucking, 1.00

00:53:12.300 he Hershey Highways, 1.00

00:53:13.720 big Mike.

00:53:14.160 How do you,

00:53:15.980 how do you think

00:53:16.440 the semi-

00:53:16.940 But he envisions

00:53:17.460 that she's a Vander Holyfield

00:53:18.840 the whole time. 0.88

00:53:20.520 He tries to bite her ear off.

00:53:22.860 Is there any difference 0.93

00:53:23.560 from behind?

00:53:24.180 I think it's the exact same. 0.97

00:53:25.220 Is it gay, 0.98

00:53:25.880 is it gay, 0.99

00:53:26.680 if he has sex 0.99

00:53:28.140 with his wife, 0.99

00:53:29.160 who is a woman,

00:53:30.920 but imagines it

00:53:32.100 to be a man constantly? 0.94

00:53:33.460 Is that gay? 0.99

00:53:34.500 It is gay, 0.99

00:53:35.660 but it's noble. 0.98

00:53:37.560 Yeah,

00:53:37.920 that's true.

00:53:38.860 I'd say it's technically

00:53:39.740 not gay, 1.00

00:53:40.380 but it's super fucking gay. 1.00

00:53:41.800 That's what a real man does. 1.00

00:53:43.340 You just fuck women 1.00

00:53:44.340 and you stuff that down deep, 1.00

00:53:45.740 you know?

00:53:46.260 If you're a pederass 1.00

00:53:47.640 watching this,

00:53:48.420 that's your road to salvation

00:53:49.940 and out of the wood chipper.

00:53:51.100 You get yourself

00:53:51.940 an adult female

00:53:52.880 and then you just

00:53:53.660 imagine it's a child

00:53:54.700 the whole time,

00:53:55.320 right?

00:53:55.640 Just braid some pigtails

00:53:56.760 on her.

00:53:57.820 Yeah,

00:53:58.060 that's what Clint does.

00:53:58.900 Don't do the children.

00:53:59.760 Wait,

00:54:00.120 wait,

00:54:00.320 wait,

00:54:00.540 I do what?

00:54:01.140 Just imagine.

00:54:02.560 It's the pedal loophole.

00:54:04.180 He just gets as young as he can.

00:54:05.700 He's an 18 year old

00:54:06.800 and he's just like,

00:54:07.440 well,

00:54:07.620 I mean,

00:54:07.900 I always have to imagine

00:54:09.000 it's one year ago.

00:54:10.080 That's it?

00:54:10.500 That's easy.

00:54:10.940 The youngest girl

00:54:11.680 I've been with

00:54:12.280 since y'all have known me

00:54:13.100 has been 27

00:54:13.840 and you guys are still

00:54:14.840 making it sound

00:54:15.780 like I'm

00:54:16.640 predating middle schools.

00:54:19.580 She was mentally 13,

00:54:20.660 though.

00:54:21.220 Oh,

00:54:21.400 well,

00:54:21.700 all right.

00:54:22.240 That's your opinion.

00:54:23.760 Does that matter?

00:54:26.120 When does that come in here?

00:54:27.520 Does any woman 1.00

00:54:28.040 get above 13?

00:54:29.440 Yeah,

00:54:29.600 have you mentally?

00:54:30.640 Me too, 1.00

00:54:31.140 and fucking everybody, 1.00

00:54:31.960 relax. 1.00

00:54:34.040 You just dating chess masters?

00:54:35.520 If I wanted a woman 0.99

00:54:36.700 that had the maturity

00:54:37.520 of a 25 year old,

00:54:38.460 I'd have to date 1.00

00:54:38.960 fucking 60 year olds. 1.00

00:54:40.060 It's not, 1.00

00:54:40.700 we're not going to play

00:54:41.660 that game,

00:54:42.160 are we? 0.99

00:54:42.460 That's why Reid fucks 0.99

00:54:43.300 the old so much. 0.99

00:54:44.820 Dude, 1.00

00:54:45.120 I'm imagining Obama's dick 1.00

00:54:46.800 looks like the black bishop 1.00

00:54:48.060 in a game of chess

00:54:48.940 because it's got like

00:54:49.580 that little cut to it,

00:54:50.780 but it's still like,

00:54:51.480 yeah,

00:54:51.900 that really does.

00:54:53.700 Toad, 0.87

00:54:53.980 if you were going to die tomorrow 0.99

00:54:55.160 and you were going to die a virgin 0.95

00:54:56.440 and the only chance

00:54:57.420 you had to not die a virgin 1.00

00:54:58.460 is to let Obama fuck you, 1.00

00:55:00.120 are you doing it? 1.00

00:55:00.740 No,

00:55:01.440 we already asked that question.

00:55:02.680 Is it,

00:55:03.100 does he lose his virginity 1.00

00:55:04.160 if he gets fucked 1.00

00:55:05.000 and we said no. 1.00

00:55:06.380 He's got to do the insertion.

00:55:08.120 Oh,

00:55:08.460 he,

00:55:09.320 he's got to, 1.00

00:55:10.100 this is a unit of fuck conversation. 1.00

00:55:13.300 Dude, 1.00

00:55:13.500 do I get to fuck Obama though? 1.00

00:55:15.760 We're hitting core values right now. 1.00

00:55:17.000 You know what?

00:55:17.380 Core values.

00:55:18.080 Yes,

00:55:18.480 yes, 1.00

00:55:18.760 you do get to fuck Obama. 1.00

00:55:19.860 Well, 1.00

00:55:20.040 what's remarkable

00:55:20.620 about Gerard's hypothetical

00:55:21.980 is that this is a distinct possibility

00:55:23.720 because he could die tomorrow,

00:55:25.060 he is a virgin,

00:55:26.260 like Barack Obama

00:55:26.920 may be his best bet. 1.00

00:55:27.880 I would fuck Barack Obama 1.00

00:55:31.280 before I get to meet Barack Obama. 1.00

00:55:33.880 I would fuck him too. 1.00

00:55:35.480 Just for the fame, 1.00

00:55:36.680 I would do it. 1.00

00:55:37.240 Like this motherfucker 1.00

00:55:38.380 just killed himself 1.00

00:55:39.220 after fucking Barack Obama. 1.00

00:55:41.160 That's like, 1.00

00:55:41.480 I would fuck every person. 1.00

00:55:42.040 Massively chadly. 1.00

00:55:43.160 Now you've brought me

00:55:44.040 to a new place.

00:55:44.980 What is the cutoff

00:55:46.220 for the level of fame?

00:55:47.560 Yeah,

00:55:47.920 this has to be,

00:55:48.480 I was just thinking

00:55:49.100 the same thing. 1.00

00:55:49.720 Would you fuck Gary Busey 1.00

00:55:50.920 to say you fucked Gary Busey? 1.00

00:55:52.000 Oh yeah. 1.00

00:55:53.340 Fuck yes. 1.00

00:55:54.180 That's a classic story. 1.00

00:55:55.540 He would call my dick 1.00

00:55:56.500 the buttered sausage. 1.00

00:55:57.340 Oh my God.

00:55:58.320 And he put it in his mouth.

00:56:00.740 He's like,

00:56:01.520 buttered sausage

00:56:02.500 and then he's like, 1.00

00:56:04.300 sucking my dick. 1.00

00:56:04.880 Gary Busey would also apply 1.00

00:56:06.600 for the,

00:56:07.060 like the pedal loophole thing

00:56:08.600 because he's so brain damaged

00:56:09.720 from the motorcycle accident

00:56:10.940 so you can pretend 1.00

00:56:11.780 that you're fucking a kid 1.00

00:56:12.640 at the same time too. 1.00

00:56:12.740 But like,

00:56:13.000 what's the cutoff?

00:56:14.000 Like what's the cutoff

00:56:14.820 from like,

00:56:15.320 I'm doing this for the story

00:56:16.360 to like,

00:56:16.780 I'm doing this because...

00:56:17.780 Pete Buttigieg?

00:56:18.080 Pete Buttigieg?

00:56:19.920 Really?

00:56:20.620 That's the line.

00:56:21.880 That's the line right there.

00:56:23.060 Wait, wait,

00:56:23.480 is it the line 1.00

00:56:24.020 as in you would fuck him? 1.00

00:56:24.820 No, no, 1.00

00:56:25.540 I wouldn't fuck him. 1.00

00:56:26.480 When I was in Jersey, 1.00

00:56:27.420 there was a lot of stories

00:56:28.320 about Cory Booker

00:56:29.340 having a little Brazilian boy toy

00:56:31.700 on the side. 1.00

00:56:32.760 He looks like a closeted homo. 1.00

00:56:34.720 He pulled the key and peel on us 1.00

00:56:37.640 when I was playing

00:56:38.180 with the Newark Bears.

00:56:39.420 He literally walked

00:56:40.480 through the locker room.

00:56:43.340 This is before key and peel

00:56:44.420 ever happened.

00:56:44.940 He was like,

00:56:45.240 hey, welcome to Newark.

00:56:46.340 I hope you're enjoying our city.

00:56:48.120 My brother,

00:56:48.840 what's happening?

00:56:50.460 And the guys were Dominicans.

00:56:51.840 They weren't black 1.00

00:56:52.500 and they were like,

00:56:52.980 oh, what's up with this coconut?

00:56:54.280 And I'm like,

00:56:54.780 oh. 0.69

00:56:56.460 Is that what they call gay dudes? 0.96

00:56:57.980 Coconut? 0.96

00:56:58.720 Yeah.

00:56:59.620 The level of fame, 1.00

00:57:00.900 I would fuck Gerard Michaels 1.00

00:57:02.400 for the story. 1.00

00:57:04.100 Ooh.

00:57:04.820 That's weird.

00:57:05.480 We can make it happen.

00:57:06.300 It's weird.

00:57:06.740 He's here. 0.97

00:57:07.060 It's one of the gayest things 1.00

00:57:07.800 I've ever heard. 0.90

00:57:09.360 That's just...

00:57:10.240 Is it gay? 0.99

00:57:11.200 Yeah, yeah.

00:57:11.520 I mean,

00:57:11.780 no disrespect to Gerard,

00:57:12.860 but he's very much a man. 0.99

00:57:14.980 Very clearly gay. 1.00

00:57:15.660 There's no heterosexual action 0.93

00:57:17.440 happening there.

00:57:17.860 You have good taste, Toad,

00:57:18.860 so there's a... 1.00

00:57:19.900 You're literally sucking his dick 1.00

00:57:21.400 over on a podcast right now, Toad. 1.00

00:57:23.800 It's very weird.

00:57:24.720 Cole, let the man cook.

00:57:25.860 Yeah. 1.00

00:57:27.000 I'll let the man suck. 1.00

00:57:28.460 I mean, Gerard is a solid bear, 1.00

00:57:29.780 so that makes sense.

00:57:30.880 This is how it works, man.

00:57:32.060 I'm still trying to figure out 1.00

00:57:32.980 how Obama's dick wound up 1.00

00:57:34.340 semi-cut like that. 1.00

00:57:35.620 Was he getting circumcised

00:57:37.000 and they stopped midway

00:57:38.040 or something? 1.00

00:57:39.440 No, I assume that his dick... 1.00

00:57:42.380 I don't know. 1.00

00:57:42.840 I think he stretches his name. 1.00

00:57:43.900 It's only the white half of his dick 1.00

00:57:45.640 is circumcised. 1.00

00:57:47.040 I think he stretched... 0.54

00:57:47.700 Oh, yeah.

00:57:47.900 No, I'm serious.

00:57:48.720 I think he stretched it probably

00:57:49.860 because it was super unimpressive 0.97

00:57:52.080 for a black dude, 0.97

00:57:52.760 so he just kept yanking on it 0.97

00:57:54.140 and then the skin got slack to it.

00:57:56.940 I gotta say, 0.99

00:57:57.420 the dick thing 0.99

00:57:58.000 explains so much about Obama. 1.00

00:58:00.000 Having an average skinny dick 1.00

00:58:01.600 on a black dude, 1.00

00:58:02.740 it makes sense. 0.99

00:58:03.240 That's why you drunk strike a kid.

00:58:04.760 Yeah.

00:58:05.280 That's how you do it.

00:58:06.620 I thought you did that

00:58:07.540 for the Nobel Peace Prize.

00:58:08.920 Oh, that too. 1.00

00:58:10.680 Makes up for your small dick 1.00

00:58:12.320 and it also gives you an award. 1.00

00:58:13.640 You won the Nobel Peace Prize 0.98

00:58:15.140 because it's just another dildo 1.00

00:58:16.600 to shove up your ass. 1.00

00:58:17.580 That's right. 1.00

00:58:18.300 I think he takes all his rewards 1.00

00:58:19.640 and he just puts them up his ass. 1.00

00:58:21.180 I like how having a small dick 1.00

00:58:23.460 is possibly more damaging 1.00

00:58:24.900 than fucking a guy. 0.99

00:58:26.480 I would be more hurt by that 1.00

00:58:28.540 if I was Obama

00:58:29.240 than he would be like, 1.00

00:58:29.900 yo, you fucked this guy, 1.00

00:58:31.220 he sucked your dick 1.00

00:58:31.860 and all this is like, 1.00

00:58:32.680 but you had a little dick, bro. 1.00

00:58:35.120 Which president do you think 1.00

00:58:36.300 has the biggest dick 1.00

00:58:37.160 of our lifetime? 1.00

00:58:38.280 Oh, Trump.

00:58:38.920 No, no, Trump had no way.

00:58:42.000 No way.

00:58:43.220 He's like 6'5".

00:58:44.380 He's gotta have some.

00:58:45.680 He's gotta be Teddy Roosevelt, maybe.

00:58:47.700 In our lives, 1.00

00:58:48.760 you fucking reject. 1.00

00:58:49.740 Teddy Roosevelt, motherfucker. 1.00

00:58:50.380 I said of your lifetime. 1.00

00:58:51.500 Oh, of my lifetime?

00:58:52.340 You don't know how old Toad is.

00:58:53.840 That's fair.

00:58:54.660 Very fair.

00:58:55.160 Dude, I...

00:58:55.600 I take it back.

00:58:56.200 I'm sorry.

00:58:56.560 I wasn't paying...

00:58:57.140 I wasn't...

00:58:57.460 I think it'd be 32 or 84.

00:58:59.400 Dude, I wasn't paying attention

00:59:01.460 because I was about to say...

00:59:02.060 He could be immortal. 1.00

00:59:02.880 He looks like a fucking vampire. 1.00

00:59:04.280 Go outside in the sun. 1.00

00:59:05.420 I look like Nosferatu.

00:59:06.760 Yeah, I was...

00:59:07.400 I am bald, too.

00:59:08.340 I was about to say

00:59:09.020 something to the effect

00:59:10.440 of, like, Obama won

00:59:11.480 the Nobel Peace Prize

00:59:12.640 due to his Nobel Peace.

00:59:14.480 It was gonna be awful.

00:59:15.740 Clinton probably had

00:59:16.560 a solid peace on him.

00:59:17.320 I'm not like anything...

00:59:18.040 So here's my theory on Clinton, right?

00:59:19.660 Just because he's a coxman 1.00

00:59:20.780 doesn't mean he's got a solid peace.

00:59:22.000 I don't know why you guys go there.

00:59:22.860 I just feel like...

00:59:23.620 No, because, listen,

00:59:24.280 there's some math involved here. 1.00

00:59:26.320 He likes fucking hefty chicks, 1.00

00:59:27.820 and he has... 1.00

00:59:28.220 There's...

00:59:28.760 You gotta be able to, like,

00:59:29.840 get in there,

00:59:30.560 you know what I'm saying?

00:59:31.340 So I'm thinking...

00:59:32.380 But then how's Jose doing?

00:59:34.820 With the fat chicks? 1.00

00:59:36.320 Yeah. 0.91

00:59:37.740 You think Reagan

00:59:38.460 had a good peace on him?

00:59:39.560 I feel like Reagan

00:59:40.280 had a nice...

00:59:40.880 Like, he was an actor.

00:59:42.700 I feel like he...

00:59:43.340 To be an actor,

00:59:44.840 you have to have that confidence,

00:59:46.140 and I think confidence 1.00

00:59:46.840 comes from a large penis. 1.00

00:59:48.540 And so I think he just... 1.00

00:59:49.440 How tall was he?

00:59:50.220 Some black guy I worked with,

00:59:51.560 he went on and bragged about,

00:59:52.900 like, he was like,

00:59:53.480 yeah, you know why 0.98

00:59:54.060 us black men love fat women? 1.00

00:59:56.280 Because we're the only ones 0.99

00:59:57.960 that can get through. 1.00

00:59:58.660 We got that extra dick 1.00

00:59:59.840 so we can get through 1.00

01:00:00.540 all the fat.

01:00:01.460 And I was like, 1.00

01:00:01.880 are you fucking kidding me? 0.99

01:00:02.900 I'm like... 0.99

01:00:03.380 It was a completely

01:00:04.400 unwarranted conversation,

01:00:05.600 and I was like,

01:00:05.920 so you came here

01:00:06.480 to tell me, 1.00

01:00:07.300 you fucked fat women 1.00

01:00:09.120 with your bigger dick? 1.00

01:00:10.880 And I was like, 1.00

01:00:11.280 okay, good morning?

01:00:12.700 I don't know. 1.00

01:00:13.080 This is a fucking... 0.99

01:00:13.700 So anyway, 1.00

01:00:14.460 I'll have a chai latte.

01:00:17.680 So anyway,

01:00:19.440 just take everything you...

01:00:21.040 I just want you to know

01:00:21.760 I'm better than you 1.00

01:00:22.380 because I fuck fat chicks. 1.00

01:00:23.400 What do all the rape victims 1.00

01:00:25.680 say about the size of Clinton?

01:00:28.120 Do we know?

01:00:28.860 I feel like that's not

01:00:29.500 a question you ask.

01:00:30.020 No, I don't know.

01:00:30.040 Come on.

01:00:30.900 But you were talking

01:00:31.680 about Reagan before.

01:00:32.680 Apparently,

01:00:33.360 it was told to me

01:00:34.540 that Nancy Reagan

01:00:35.300 was known

01:00:35.940 to give the best head

01:00:37.380 in Hollywood.

01:00:38.460 Oh, yeah.

01:00:38.780 She was the original 0.69

01:00:39.500 super head of her time.

01:00:40.960 Kareem,

01:00:41.380 whatever her name was.

01:00:42.560 Apparently,

01:00:42.820 she was really into

01:00:43.200 black dudes, too, 0.52

01:00:43.880 is the rumor. 0.93

01:00:44.740 Is that right?

01:00:45.460 Nancy Reagan 0.62

01:00:46.180 was into black dudes?

01:00:47.400 Yeah, that was...

01:00:47.880 And she started

01:00:48.520 with the war on drugs.

01:00:49.520 That would have been

01:00:50.120 why her husband 0.97

01:00:50.940 created crack to get rid of them.

01:00:53.840 There's these cut reels

01:00:54.860 of Nancy with Mr. T,

01:00:57.140 which is like, 0.99

01:00:58.020 I want to watch that porn. 0.99

01:00:59.840 Yeah. 0.99

01:01:00.080 Oh, have you ever seen...

01:01:01.920 What's her name?

01:01:02.860 The Alaska Ho

01:01:03.600 with Glenn Rice

01:01:04.240 back in the day?

01:01:05.300 Sarah Palin.

01:01:06.020 Yeah, Sarah Palin.

01:01:07.060 Sarah Palin 1.00

01:01:07.760 fucked Glenn Rice? 1.00

01:01:09.300 Glenn Rice. 0.99

01:01:10.360 Check it out.

01:01:10.500 From downtown?

01:01:11.420 Glenn Rice?

01:01:11.780 That's wild, baby.

01:01:12.420 Glenn Rice. 1.00

01:01:12.980 Get the fuck out of here. 0.98

01:01:13.840 The Miami Heat, 0.99

01:01:14.900 Glenn Rice.

01:01:15.440 That's crazy.

01:01:16.460 Yeah,

01:01:16.800 she's like a sideline reporter. 0.99

01:01:18.720 And I think he's in college

01:01:19.620 and she just can't

01:01:20.920 stop touching him

01:01:21.640 and he keeps getting closer

01:01:22.760 with the eye contact.

01:01:23.820 It was like a skin-a-max.

01:01:25.180 It was wild.

01:01:25.640 She was like,

01:01:26.100 I can see the rice patties

01:01:27.500 from my house.

01:01:28.580 She's out here and doing...

01:01:29.900 Dude, I bet Sarah Palin

01:01:31.080 was a smoke show in her joint. 0.55

01:01:32.200 She was.

01:01:32.840 She was.

01:01:33.200 Oh, hell yeah.

01:01:33.760 You know.

01:01:34.060 Yeah.

01:01:34.700 And I think she was married

01:01:35.740 at like 17 or something.

01:01:37.240 So she was an unfaithful smoke show. 1.00

01:01:40.200 Now I'm trying to think 1.00

01:01:40.840 of all the dicks 0.99

01:01:42.020 because I feel like 0.99

01:01:42.940 George Bush

01:01:43.420 had a big fiener on them.

01:01:45.280 W Bush?

01:01:46.620 W or HW.

01:01:47.700 I don't think either one

01:01:48.420 but I feel like he could

01:01:49.120 because I feel like

01:01:50.140 there's something about 0.99

01:01:50.580 dumb redneck energy 1.00

01:01:51.820 that tends to correlate 1.00

01:01:53.100 to big dicks. 1.00

01:01:54.440 I got a big old dick. 1.00

01:01:56.220 Well, like Andy, 1.00

01:01:57.640 our friend of ours,

01:01:58.340 always said

01:01:58.680 he calls it 1.00

01:01:59.480 a line-cooked dick 1.00

01:02:00.680 is what he calls it. 1.00

01:02:01.660 Line-cooked dick. 1.00

01:02:02.960 Yeah. 1.00

01:02:03.500 Like these line cooks

01:02:04.380 and they just have

01:02:05.180 like a hog on them

01:02:06.080 for no reason. 0.71

01:02:06.500 That's hilarious.

01:02:07.220 The girls want 1.00

01:02:07.840 the line-cooked dick. 1.00

01:02:08.840 That's hilarious. 1.00

01:02:09.900 Isn't it like long

01:02:10.800 and thin though, 1.00

01:02:11.560 the line-cooked dick? 1.00

01:02:12.620 Yeah, it is long. 1.00

01:02:13.500 It's not a pencil

01:02:15.160 but it's just long

01:02:16.660 and thinner.

01:02:17.420 But yeah, it's...

01:02:18.280 Why is it thinner?

01:02:19.580 I don't know.

01:02:20.280 Top, somehow,

01:02:21.280 someway,

01:02:22.500 I knew that this is

01:02:23.260 where the conversation

01:02:23.900 would go.

01:02:24.200 I'm prepped for this

01:02:24.880 whole thing.

01:02:27.280 It's important

01:02:27.920 you take prep

01:02:28.580 before you come

01:02:29.120 on Tower Gang.

01:02:30.040 Yeah, that's what

01:02:30.700 I'm here for, man.

01:02:32.140 Yeah, I don't know

01:02:33.580 how you would know

01:02:34.180 that Tower Gang

01:02:34.940 would devolve

01:02:35.820 into talking about 0.99

01:02:36.520 dicks constantly. 0.98

01:02:37.640 We've never done

01:02:38.260 that before.

01:02:38.720 Nobody can predict that.

01:02:39.800 This is the first time

01:02:40.520 I can't believe

01:02:40.980 you would know this.

01:02:41.720 Speaking of which,

01:02:42.240 I'm pretty sure 0.96

01:02:42.820 a resident tranny 1.00

01:02:43.720 of the show 1.00

01:02:44.200 is trying to fuck 0.99

01:02:45.280 Gerard in the chat, 1.00

01:02:46.740 by the way.

01:02:47.620 Oh, yeah, Lane.

01:02:48.920 Tranny, which way? 0.96

01:02:50.260 Yeah.

01:02:51.160 Male to female.

01:02:52.340 Male to female,

01:02:53.380 unfortunately.

01:02:53.980 I was going to say,

01:02:54.700 you should find out

01:02:55.620 for yourself. 1.00

01:02:56.640 It's the craziest shit. 1.00

01:02:57.660 This female 1.00

01:02:59.140 was in the gym, 0.99

01:03:01.400 got fucking huge. 0.97

01:03:01.680 Just a total unit. 0.99

01:03:03.060 I mean, I'm talking

01:03:04.100 like, it gives me

01:03:05.260 workout advice.

01:03:06.540 It's like,

01:03:07.060 no, you need to be

01:03:07.520 doing this.

01:03:08.140 Became a unit

01:03:08.840 and then got rid

01:03:09.660 of her unit.

01:03:10.260 Yes, it is.

01:03:11.180 It's crazy.

01:03:12.620 Although,

01:03:13.800 I'm pretty sure

01:03:14.300 she still goes by he.

01:03:15.780 Suffering from

01:03:16.360 severe body dysmorphia.

01:03:17.940 That's what she was like,

01:03:19.100 I gained 100 pounds

01:03:20.160 and the body dysmorphia

01:03:21.660 didn't go away.

01:03:22.740 Is that what that is? 0.58

01:03:23.500 Is she a transvestite? 1.00

01:03:24.700 It's like,

01:03:24.920 because I'm very confused.

01:03:26.300 It doesn't even go by she,

01:03:27.340 I believe.

01:03:27.640 It goes by he.

01:03:28.640 Basically,

01:03:29.060 it's just like,

01:03:29.620 I dress like a chick,

01:03:30.660 kind of look chickish

01:03:31.520 and that's my understanding.

01:03:32.980 He's based as hell, 0.99

01:03:33.840 so I don't give a fuck. 0.99

01:03:34.380 No, it's one of my favorite. 0.98

01:03:36.400 Puts out banger videos,

01:03:38.280 like just out of nowhere.

01:03:39.140 Probably the best fan

01:03:41.760 of this show.

01:03:42.520 Probably my favorite

01:03:43.240 reply guy. 1.00

01:03:43.380 What's his fucking name? 1.00

01:03:44.220 Why do you guys 1.00

01:03:44.720 keep describing everything

01:03:45.720 about him?

01:03:46.420 Lane or Laney?

01:03:48.200 Laney.

01:03:48.460 My most desired

01:03:49.540 prison roommate.

01:03:50.600 And it's Asian as well.

01:03:53.160 It's the Asian, 0.99

01:03:53.880 so if she kind of already,

01:03:55.020 they already kind of look

01:03:56.060 girly anyway,

01:03:57.340 like Asians, 1.00

01:03:58.040 like men.

01:03:58.600 Oh, you didn't say

01:03:59.200 it was Asian.

01:04:00.080 Half Asian.

01:04:02.240 Gerard's back in.

01:04:04.480 Are we Thai?

01:04:06.400 Oh, I don't know 0.99

01:04:07.180 if she's dirty Asian. 1.00

01:04:08.440 Jap, I think. 0.99

01:04:09.840 She looks like an Eskimo, 1.00

01:04:11.240 which I don't like.

01:04:12.040 Is she like the Mexico of Asian? 1.00

01:04:15.420 Yeah, dude,

01:04:16.100 it's funny how all the different Asians 1.00

01:04:18.120 and they are the most racist 0.94

01:04:19.720 towards every,

01:04:20.160 like there's like that hierarchy

01:04:21.280 where you have like the white Asians 0.98

01:04:23.300 of like Japanese people,

01:04:24.620 Korean people,

01:04:25.740 and then you have like the,

01:04:27.300 oh, Timmy Dillon.

01:04:29.160 RFK.

01:04:29.660 He has a haul. 1.00

01:04:30.880 He has a dick. 1.00

01:04:32.240 I can't zoom in on it 1.00

01:04:33.500 for some reason.

01:04:34.080 Oh, I bet you.

01:04:34.380 But you can see it.

01:04:35.520 Oh, he's probably got a piece, yeah.

01:04:36.980 It's the craziest thing.

01:04:38.160 That's the first thing I notice

01:04:39.140 when I see him. 1.00

01:04:39.740 Like, look at this guy's dick. 1.00

01:04:40.640 He's just standing there 1.00

01:04:41.360 like old casual,

01:04:42.080 like it's fine.

01:04:43.060 Dude, he got that Coverdale on him.

01:04:45.880 He does.

01:04:46.380 Yeah, you can see it

01:04:47.020 in the jeans.

01:04:48.400 God.

01:04:48.640 He got that Coverdale

01:04:49.320 for real, for real.

01:04:50.140 Yeah, the Coverdale jeans.

01:04:52.680 That's what I think.

01:04:53.120 I probably,

01:04:53.520 JFK probably had a good, 0.99

01:04:54.560 if he's fucking Marilyn Monroe, 0.99

01:04:56.420 she's not, 0.99

01:04:56.980 I mean, 1.00

01:04:57.240 she had whatever dick she wanted. 1.00

01:04:59.120 Like, she went for the Kennedy dick. 1.00

01:05:00.700 I feel like you'll settle 1.00

01:05:01.960 for a smaller dick 1.00

01:05:02.760 if it's a president though 1.00

01:05:03.640 as a chick.

01:05:05.060 I mean,

01:05:05.620 I don't know.

01:05:06.000 I mean, 1.00

01:05:06.180 she was with a lot of Obama's dick. 1.00

01:05:08.240 She was with a lot of guys 1.00

01:05:09.260 for the fame.

01:05:10.200 You don't fight

01:05:10.780 and kill your way to the top

01:05:11.840 if you've got a big old piece on you. 0.99

01:05:13.220 You're just like chilling.

01:05:14.340 I mean, 1.00

01:05:14.580 I think the biggest dick 1.00

01:05:16.140 out of all the presidents 1.00

01:05:17.080 was actually LBJ though.

01:05:18.520 Like, he would just whip it out.

01:05:19.640 Oh, you're right.

01:05:20.140 He would whip it out in meetings

01:05:21.340 and he called it jumbo

01:05:22.520 and he would just throw it down

01:05:23.580 on the table.

01:05:24.180 I forgot about it.

01:05:24.680 But he wasn't really president. 1.00

01:05:25.680 Take a shit while talking to people. 1.00

01:05:27.340 Yeah, well. 1.00

01:05:27.700 He was vice president

01:05:28.500 and then kind of lucked out.

01:05:29.800 You know what's hilarious?

01:05:31.340 Lucked out.

01:05:33.060 Wah-pow! 0.99

01:05:33.980 Lucky shot. 0.54

01:05:35.520 He killed JFK,

01:05:36.640 so he had three names.

01:05:37.820 So, you know.

01:05:38.000 Don't explain the two. 0.95

01:05:39.240 The guy's the most corrupt president 0.93

01:05:40.840 of all time,

01:05:41.580 but Hunter had to get it

01:05:42.900 from somewhere. 1.00

01:05:44.660 He doesn't have a big dick. 1.00

01:05:45.820 His dick is like, 1.00

01:05:46.960 okay, like, whatever. 1.00

01:05:47.920 Yeah, that's right.

01:05:48.480 That's right. 1.00

01:05:48.800 We've seen his dick. 1.00

01:05:49.240 So the way you did that 1.00

01:05:50.220 is the gayest thing 1.00

01:05:50.900 that happened this whole show. 1.00

01:05:53.680 He doesn't have a big dick. 1.00

01:05:54.860 It's like, okay, whatever. 1.00

01:05:56.340 He was like, whatever.

01:05:57.100 Like, I wouldn't even write home

01:05:58.040 to my mother about this.

01:05:59.520 He's like,

01:05:59.980 I saw those pictures

01:06:01.080 from his laptop.

01:06:01.700 Hunter?

01:06:02.240 I thought the whole thing

01:06:03.200 with the pictures

01:06:03.740 was he's supposed to be

01:06:04.560 well-endowed.

01:06:05.240 They tried turning it

01:06:05.820 a little positive. 1.00

01:06:06.360 His dick's all right. 0.99

01:06:06.860 Gerard, honestly, 1.00

01:06:07.700 if you think his dick's impressive, 1.00

01:06:09.040 you're telling on yourself, 1.00

01:06:10.360 homeboy.

01:06:10.600 I don't think he was ever hard.

01:06:14.960 In any of those pictures,

01:06:15.860 I don't think he was ever hard. 0.99

01:06:16.960 So it was like an average dick, 0.99

01:06:18.680 but it was soft. 1.00

01:06:19.660 No, he's just on cocaine.

01:06:20.880 He's hard the whole time.

01:06:22.560 Ooh, cocaine,

01:06:23.140 you get soft real quick,

01:06:24.040 but then it gets,

01:06:24.460 like for me at least,

01:06:25.220 it gets hard real quick again too.

01:06:27.140 So it's a weird conundrum.

01:06:28.140 Even if it was soft,

01:06:28.700 the potential for it

01:06:29.860 to get harder

01:06:30.620 wasn't even...

01:06:32.060 There's a very small window.

01:06:34.360 The whiskey cocaine window

01:06:35.720 is like very, very small,

01:06:37.600 but if you can hit it

01:06:38.300 at that peak,

01:06:39.120 harder than you've ever been,

01:06:40.480 and then you'll go for longer

01:06:41.680 than you'll ever go.

01:06:42.340 I'll think we'll talk about this.

01:06:43.180 I tried cocaine

01:06:44.000 like a couple weeks ago

01:06:45.440 for the first time. 0.99

01:06:46.060 And you didn't fuck. 0.99

01:06:46.620 And Jose got very upset with me 0.99

01:06:48.100 because he was like, 1.00

01:06:48.960 did you fuck? 1.00

01:06:49.960 And I was like, 1.00

01:06:50.680 no, I didn't.

01:06:51.340 I had to drive back home.

01:06:52.960 Like I had to drive for...

01:06:55.060 Dude, driving on coke's fine.

01:06:57.500 What?

01:06:58.400 Unironically,

01:06:58.820 driving on coke,

01:06:59.480 not a big deal.

01:07:00.460 You're perfectly fine.

01:07:00.620 No, no, no.

01:07:01.060 I just had to drive home.

01:07:02.240 I had a three-hour drive.

01:07:03.460 It was two o'clock in the morning.

01:07:04.640 You did it in an hour and a half.

01:07:06.260 I wasn't going to stop

01:07:07.260 on the side of the road

01:07:08.020 and bang one out real quick.

01:07:09.340 Dude, I'm just envisioning 0.99

01:07:11.220 like your boner 0.64

01:07:11.980 like responding to each

01:07:13.140 thing that you consume.

01:07:14.580 Like you're consuming

01:07:15.440 all this cocaine 0.99

01:07:16.120 and you have this huge boner 0.77

01:07:17.460 and then you consume whiskey.

01:07:18.280 It just looks bigger

01:07:19.400 inside the child.

01:07:20.960 Oh, Jesus Christ.

01:07:23.440 Oh, my God.

01:07:24.120 It's a perspective thing.

01:07:25.700 The best part of this show

01:07:26.760 is the live chat. 0.99

01:07:27.720 Like we suck. 0.99

01:07:28.520 We really just... 0.99

01:07:29.020 Who did that? 0.91

01:07:30.500 That's one of our...

01:07:31.020 We're moving our stuff along.

01:07:31.840 That was definitely

01:07:32.660 not a grappler

01:07:33.640 or whatever he goes by now.

01:07:34.760 Yeah, definitely not a guy

01:07:36.360 who doesn't catch fish.

01:07:38.360 God, that is so great. 1.00

01:07:39.920 That motherfucker 1.00

01:07:40.360 catches fish. 1.00

01:07:41.080 We did...

01:07:42.080 We had the Drinking Bros

01:07:43.220 on our show.

01:07:44.060 They're going to be...

01:07:44.620 Tiny fish.

01:07:45.340 So I don't know

01:07:45.840 if you guys are familiar

01:07:46.400 with the Drinking Bros.

01:07:47.120 Good dudes.

01:07:48.020 We got a nice show

01:07:48.720 down in Texas.

01:07:49.440 We had them on our

01:07:50.200 Slick and Thick or whatever.

01:07:51.460 The episode comes out Saturday

01:07:52.700 and we're doing NFL picks

01:07:54.580 and we're doing like...

01:07:56.300 You know, we're going

01:07:56.740 through the spreads

01:07:57.700 and everything like that

01:07:58.500 and the dude Dan Holloway

01:08:00.240 picks the Jets

01:08:01.580 on Monday night.

01:08:02.740 I'm picking the Jets.

01:08:03.700 Yeah, that's what he... 1.00

01:08:04.580 Shut the fuck up, Toad. 0.99

01:08:05.160 So he goes, yeah. 1.00

01:08:06.100 And we're like,

01:08:06.520 even with the spread

01:08:07.220 where he is,

01:08:07.680 he goes,

01:08:08.020 Jets never lose on 9-11.

01:08:11.340 Ooh, that is so good. 1.00

01:08:13.140 God damn, dude. 1.00

01:08:14.380 Oh, yeah. 1.00

01:08:15.460 What the fuck? 1.00

01:08:17.140 That's crazy. 1.00

01:08:18.820 Dude, we had to walk off.

01:08:20.220 We had...

01:08:20.380 All right, well,

01:08:20.820 there's nothing...

01:08:21.560 All right,

01:08:22.060 see you guys next week.

01:08:23.120 This is...

01:08:23.660 He had that line

01:08:25.280 in the pot.

01:08:25.900 Dan Holloway, man.

01:08:26.920 He was an unbelievable dude.

01:08:28.300 You know,

01:08:28.600 he was part of that whole

01:08:29.780 like Black Rifle guys 0.95

01:08:31.060 and all that stuff.

01:08:32.240 And he says like four words...

01:08:33.380 I think he had me on his show.

01:08:34.600 And those are them.

01:08:35.600 Yeah.

01:08:36.080 That's a home run right there.

01:08:37.940 He's like a grizzled 0.97

01:08:39.040 military veteran looking dude.

01:08:40.280 That's right, yeah.

01:08:41.120 Yeah, all right, yeah.

01:08:41.720 He had me on his show.

01:08:42.420 Brilliant guy

01:08:42.940 with like just like this

01:08:44.120 dry, acerbic witty.

01:08:45.880 He only says like a couple words

01:08:47.040 and then he just busts out

01:08:48.020 and just never loses on 9-11.

01:08:50.780 There's a meme going around also.

01:08:52.320 Like who does Castellanos play for?

01:08:54.020 It's the Mets, right?

01:08:54.900 Does he...

01:08:55.380 You know what I'm talking about?

01:08:57.000 No.

01:08:57.360 Castellanos, the guy that...

01:08:58.500 Okay, you remember the announcer 0.98

01:09:00.300 that he said fag on... 0.99

01:09:02.480 Yes, yes, yes. 0.99

01:09:03.280 Yeah, yeah.

01:09:03.720 Cincinnati.

01:09:05.000 Yeah, and then Castellanos

01:09:05.920 hit a home run.

01:09:06.640 He was like,

01:09:06.960 Castellanos home run to right.

01:09:08.400 That's right, that's right,

01:09:09.300 that's right.

01:09:09.680 So they play on 9-11

01:09:11.400 and so it's Castellanos.

01:09:13.280 And so there's this whole thing

01:09:14.140 of like every time

01:09:14.840 there's something bad happens,

01:09:16.020 Castellanos like cranks home runs 0.81

01:09:17.500 and so he's going to be on 9-11.

01:09:18.860 They switch the game to 9-11,

01:09:21.040 I think to play the Mets

01:09:21.900 and he's just going to be

01:09:22.920 raking home runs.

01:09:24.020 Would you see the guy

01:09:24.700 who was trying to do the whole thing

01:09:25.840 about the Negro League Hall of Fame?

01:09:28.700 Oh my God, that was amazing.

01:09:30.700 And he drops the hard R on live TV.

01:09:33.800 And the guy next to him was like...

01:09:35.900 What?

01:09:36.740 Yeah, he was like...

01:09:37.740 He said something like...

01:09:39.020 Cole, as our resident N-word specialist,

01:09:41.260 if you could tell me what he said verbatim,

01:09:43.000 I'd appreciate it.

01:09:44.400 Legitimately, he was like,

01:09:46.040 we went to the...

01:09:48.720 Say it?

01:09:49.660 No, I'm trying to remember

01:09:50.720 because it was...

01:09:51.460 Honestly, pull up the video. 0.96

01:09:52.440 It's fucking hilarious. 0.95

01:09:53.800 It's unreal. 0.99

01:09:54.300 It's really funny

01:09:55.100 because it was live...

01:09:55.760 It's like Peter Griffin.

01:09:56.500 It's like Peter Griffin.

01:09:57.460 It's like he was in his mind

01:09:58.500 for some reason saying,

01:09:59.380 don't say this word,

01:10:00.060 don't say this word,

01:10:00.700 don't say this word.

01:10:01.400 And the guy next to him

01:10:02.780 just looks over

01:10:04.220 and the guy just continues on.

01:10:06.400 He was basically like...

01:10:08.880 Yeah, he looked like Mike Myers

01:10:10.060 standing next to Kanye.

01:10:12.140 Wait, it was Glenn Kuiper, I think.

01:10:14.820 Hold on.

01:10:15.660 Yeah, find it, Toad.

01:10:16.920 I don't know why we didn't play this

01:10:18.540 when it happened

01:10:19.220 because it's one of the funniest videos.

01:10:21.260 And I don't think anything

01:10:22.080 happened to the guy.

01:10:23.300 I think everybody kind of understood.

01:10:24.300 Like, as soon as the game ended.

01:10:25.900 He got fired?

01:10:26.520 Oh, I thought he was good.

01:10:27.960 I thought they were just like,

01:10:28.760 oh, it's a, you know...

01:10:30.480 What's even funnier

01:10:31.540 is if you listen to the rest of the game,

01:10:34.080 you can listen to the guy

01:10:35.620 call the game,

01:10:36.460 know that he's got

01:10:37.340 six outs left in his career.

01:10:39.580 I wonder if his head,

01:10:40.380 he's like, 0.97

01:10:40.680 don't say nigger, 0.97

01:10:41.280 don't say nigger. 0.98

01:10:41.960 That's exactly what he did. 0.88

01:10:42.800 But he's like,

01:10:43.340 he just keeps flowing.

01:10:44.360 He's like,

01:10:44.540 I don't think I said it.

01:10:45.380 But then like,

01:10:45.860 it's one of those things

01:10:46.380 where you're thinking about it

01:10:47.100 in your head

01:10:47.380 and you say it

01:10:47.920 and you don't even realize it.

01:10:48.920 And then he tries to give an apology

01:10:50.820 while doing the play-by-play.

01:10:52.340 He's like,

01:10:52.660 I will never have said that

01:10:53.980 and it's a ball outside.

01:10:55.200 That word.

01:10:56.240 Here, here,

01:10:56.780 what can I say?

01:10:57.380 This is so great.

01:10:58.180 Beard guy?

01:10:58.980 No, no, no.

01:10:59.560 It's not the beard guy.

01:11:00.560 Of course it's not the beard guy.

01:11:01.820 You would assume

01:11:02.540 it's the beard guy.

01:11:03.420 No, no, you wouldn't.

01:11:04.140 No, you wouldn't.

01:11:04.740 The beard guy's face is amazing.

01:11:06.220 Kansas City.

01:11:07.180 Phenomenal day today.

01:11:09.040 Nigger League Museum.

01:11:10.320 Yes.

01:11:10.940 And Arthur Bryan's Barbecue.

01:11:12.680 We had a...

01:11:13.360 Nope.

01:11:14.140 Nope.

01:11:14.660 Not that word.

01:11:15.400 Nope.

01:11:15.840 I just,

01:11:16.500 it's crazy to me.

01:11:17.580 And then I didn't think about that.

01:11:18.880 But yeah,

01:11:19.120 he probably knew the entire time

01:11:20.400 of that game.

01:11:21.040 He's just like,

01:11:21.560 it's like when you call

01:11:22.700 like a perfect game too.

01:11:24.020 He has the same on edge

01:11:25.060 of his seat.

01:11:25.640 He's just like, 1.00

01:11:26.780 fuck, six outs left. 1.00

01:11:27.780 He just had six outs to go. 1.00

01:11:29.120 And like,

01:11:29.400 he's just thinking like,

01:11:30.040 I'm out of,

01:11:31.060 I'm never getting hired again.

01:11:32.660 I'm looking down

01:11:33.220 his phone's blown up.

01:11:34.900 I'm a firm believer

01:11:35.660 that there should be

01:11:36.320 a statute of limitations

01:11:37.420 on racist slips of the tongue.

01:11:39.820 So like,

01:11:40.400 like an age statute of limitations.

01:11:42.200 If you're north of 60,

01:11:43.660 you should be able to say 0.99

01:11:44.600 whatever the fuck you want. 0.99

01:11:45.680 You can't be fired 1.00

01:11:46.420 for saying a hard ER.

01:11:47.740 That's like,

01:11:48.640 it's his age.

01:11:49.400 It's what he did.

01:11:50.040 Biden is never going

01:11:50.940 to leave the presidency.

01:11:51.800 He's just going to be up there

01:11:52.580 just,

01:11:53.140 I mean,

01:11:53.640 every slur imaginable.

01:11:55.540 Yeah,

01:11:55.720 Biden's just sniffing kids.

01:11:57.140 It's all fine

01:11:57.640 because he's still,

01:11:58.100 I think there's a, 1.00

01:11:59.380 they grew up saying this shit 1.00

01:12:00.540 like it was the, 1.00

01:12:01.600 like it's just a word.

01:12:02.760 Do you remember?

01:12:03.320 I think there's a great thing here

01:12:04.760 of age by like

01:12:06.020 every 10 years over 60,

01:12:07.640 you get to do something else.

01:12:08.820 So like 60,

01:12:09.860 you can say whatever

01:12:10.460 you want to say.

01:12:11.580 70, 1.00

01:12:12.100 you can fuck whoever 1.00

01:12:12.940 you want to fuck. 1.00

01:12:13.500 It doesn't matter. 1.00

01:12:14.160 Like 80.

01:12:15.240 If you can chase them down.

01:12:16.540 Yeah,

01:12:16.720 yeah.

01:12:16.900 That's the whole thing

01:12:17.360 is you get to get 80. 0.99

01:12:18.360 If you want to murder somebody, 1.00

01:12:19.980 you can murder somebody. 0.97

01:12:21.420 But that just means 0.86

01:12:22.020 like an 80 year old man,

01:12:23.140 like,

01:12:23.360 oh,

01:12:24.240 it's so easy.

01:12:26.340 But you can't use a gun.

01:12:28.180 They have to use their hands.

01:12:28.960 They have to use their hands.

01:12:30.000 Yes.

01:12:30.100 Yes. 0.99

01:12:30.420 If you get murdered 0.98

01:12:31.840 by an 80 year old 0.99

01:12:32.740 with your bare hands,

01:12:34.100 it's a win for us.

01:12:34.880 You got to go.

01:12:36.140 Also,

01:12:36.620 also it totally,

01:12:37.740 the retirement communities,

01:12:39.180 not basically,

01:12:40.140 those like are going to like,

01:12:41.520 don't have to worry

01:12:41.880 about these guys anymore, 0.99

01:12:42.760 taking up all this fucking money 0.99

01:12:44.280 from their social security. 1.00

01:12:46.140 They're just going to kill each other.

01:12:47.740 And I don't know

01:12:48.280 if everything should be

01:12:49.260 grandfathered in though.

01:12:50.420 Like,

01:12:50.640 you know, 1.00

01:12:51.080 like just because you fucked 1.00

01:12:52.460 14 year olds when you were 16 1.00

01:12:53.940 doesn't mean you should be allowed

01:12:54.960 to do that when you're 30.

01:12:56.620 Wow. 1.00

01:12:57.000 You're a buzzkill. 0.95

01:12:58.140 80 for a vehicle? 0.99

01:12:59.460 What do you mean?

01:12:59.860 If we're introducing this age,

01:13:02.560 statute of limitations,

01:13:03.440 I will no longer kill myself.

01:13:06.500 Okay.

01:13:07.020 Well,

01:13:07.180 that's out.

01:13:10.920 Oh,

01:13:11.520 just because you want to be able

01:13:12.420 to say the N word freely? 0.96

01:13:13.840 Is that why?

01:13:14.040 I want to be able to live to,

01:13:15.480 yeah, 0.99

01:13:15.640 to the age where I can freely rape. 0.99

01:13:17.920 Oh yeah. 0.84

01:13:18.240 If you make it above 100,

01:13:19.660 it wasn't even the,

01:13:24.240 it wasn't even the N word

01:13:25.860 that was luring you. 0.95

01:13:26.780 It was just the rape. 0.99

01:13:28.220 You know,

01:13:28.700 the irony being,

01:13:29.800 if we were all allowed

01:13:31.600 to say the N word,

01:13:32.500 nobody would ever want to say it.

01:13:34.100 Yeah.

01:13:34.480 Oh yeah.

01:13:34.840 100%.

01:13:35.240 No,

01:13:35.620 the whole reason I want to say it

01:13:37.020 is because I'm not supposed to.

01:13:37.840 I'd still say it.

01:13:38.300 It sounds so nice.

01:13:39.880 Yeah.

01:13:40.640 But I will admit though,

01:13:42.220 like if it was just like

01:13:43.100 a casual word,

01:13:43.980 it wouldn't be,

01:13:45.140 it wouldn't be so much fun.

01:13:46.540 Yeah.

01:13:46.740 Yeah.

01:13:46.940 You know,

01:13:47.300 I don't say kike as much. 0.91

01:13:48.640 I feel like people get more mad

01:13:50.700 about the N word than,

01:13:52.080 than the K word.

01:13:53.980 I think that's probably

01:13:55.000 locationally,

01:13:56.440 you know,

01:13:57.400 depending.

01:13:57.620 Yeah.

01:13:57.980 In the South,

01:13:58.580 like I,

01:13:58.900 and I,

01:13:59.160 I mentioned this before,

01:14:00.060 I didn't meet a Jewish person

01:14:01.760 because I lived in the South

01:14:02.960 until like,

01:14:03.840 uh,

01:14:04.340 I legitimately,

01:14:05.340 I'd never met a Jewish person.

01:14:07.080 Uh,

01:14:07.480 until like,

01:14:08.100 I,

01:14:08.380 like,

01:14:08.640 I guess,

01:14:09.120 uh,

01:14:09.380 until a libertarian event

01:14:10.460 and I met Dave Smith.

01:14:11.680 That's the first Jew I ever met 0.89

01:14:13.420 with Dave Smith.

01:14:13.700 He was the first one.

01:14:15.380 That's the most Jew you can get. 1.00

01:14:17.720 First time I ever dropped

01:14:18.840 the hard K.E.

01:14:19.520 was with Dave Smith

01:14:20.240 when I met him.

01:14:21.060 It's true.

01:14:21.860 This is sup kike. 1.00

01:14:23.280 Is that what you just,

01:14:24.080 he just like saw on your wrist.

01:14:25.860 As opposed to kike. 1.00

01:14:29.140 So you guys,

01:14:30.000 you guys are all heavy

01:14:30.940 in the LPs though,

01:14:31.860 huh?

01:14:31.960 I tried to do the LP thing

01:14:33.100 for a little while

01:14:33.720 and that was,

01:14:34.260 um,

01:14:35.200 a few times.

01:14:36.200 I like the Mises caucus.

01:14:37.720 You know,

01:14:37.880 you're not allowed,

01:14:38.420 you're not allowed to talk about it.

01:14:39.940 Please stop talking about it.

01:14:40.780 Don't talk about it.

01:14:41.360 Not on the show.

01:14:42.540 Wait,

01:14:42.700 wait,

01:14:42.880 so we were,

01:14:44.400 I'll,

01:14:44.880 we go to the libertarian events

01:14:47.040 usually.

01:14:47.480 Yeah.

01:14:47.780 That's where we,

01:14:48.620 because it's, 0.99

01:14:49.400 because that's where all the pussy is. 1.00

01:14:52.160 That's where all the pussies are. 1.00

01:14:53.880 It's where, 1.00

01:14:54.440 it's where everybody looks

01:14:55.540 like Toad.

01:14:56.560 It's fun.

01:14:57.580 I,

01:14:57.780 yeah,

01:14:58.000 I was a keynote speaker

01:14:59.040 at the Jersey Libertarian Party

01:15:00.460 two years in a row

01:15:01.620 and it was,

01:15:02.500 wow,

01:15:02.840 I was like,

01:15:03.100 man, 0.98

01:15:03.300 this is not a single fuckable 0.99

01:15:04.940 girl in the house, 0.99

01:15:05.680 right?

01:15:06.000 No,

01:15:06.200 that's not true.

01:15:06.700 There was one.

01:15:07.640 And there's usually one.

01:15:10.080 Oh yeah.

01:15:10.920 Yeah.

01:15:11.400 What was her name?

01:15:12.240 We probably know her.

01:15:14.260 I'm not going to say her name.

01:15:15.300 She wouldn't want me to,

01:15:15.920 but I'll tell you,

01:15:16.920 uh,

01:15:17.340 I watched,

01:15:17.960 uh,

01:15:18.640 it was Laney.

01:15:20.860 Nick Swarwack.

01:15:22.020 Not the one from the show.

01:15:23.140 Oh,

01:15:23.460 Sarwak.

01:15:24.280 Yeah,

01:15:24.700 that, 1.00

01:15:24.880 that slimy fucking greaseball. 1.00

01:15:27.400 And, 1.00

01:15:27.620 uh,

01:15:28.000 the dude who owns reason

01:15:29.100 with the,

01:15:29.660 uh,

01:15:30.080 the, 1.00

01:15:30.280 the fucking, 1.00

01:15:31.000 the greasy hair there. 1.00

01:15:32.900 Nick,

01:15:33.100 Nick Gillespie.

01:15:34.360 Yeah.

01:15:34.580 Yeah.

01:15:34.820 He almost died at Burning Man.

01:15:36.420 He got engaged yesterday.

01:15:38.080 Of course he was at Burning Man.

01:15:38.880 Are we going to talk about Burning Man?

01:15:40.340 He got engaged at Burning Man?

01:15:41.100 The hilarious part of like,

01:15:42.740 yeah,

01:15:42.840 he did like these rich people go out to,

01:15:45.920 go out to Burning Man and they get like,

01:15:48.080 like they're basically,

01:15:48.680 it's almost like cannibalism now.

01:15:50.300 Like they,

01:15:50.620 they're like,

01:15:51.080 Hey,

01:15:51.300 we,

01:15:51.520 there's no food or water coming in for another like week.

01:15:54.100 Like I'll just have to like chill out.

01:15:55.960 Like it's insane.

01:15:57.520 Real quick.

01:15:58.380 Is it for me?

01:15:59.780 I saw Gillespie's announcement engagement.

01:16:01.780 And I was just kind of like,

01:16:02.540 who cares? 1.00

01:16:03.760 You're like fucking 50, 1.00

01:16:05.020 almost 60 years old. 1.00

01:16:05.960 Like that was my person.

01:16:07.040 He has to be in his 60s,

01:16:08.220 right?

01:16:08.340 I think he's older than that.

01:16:09.620 You can already engage now. 0.99

01:16:10.740 You're at the age of being able to rape and you're getting married. 0.99

01:16:14.580 Talk about, 0.99

01:16:15.400 talk about a missed opportunity.

01:16:17.720 Oh,

01:16:18.200 you don't know anything about opportunity cause?

01:16:19.860 You're no libertarian.

01:16:21.000 Yeah.

01:16:21.940 Imagine the divorce rate at 70. 0.98

01:16:24.040 If that was,

01:16:24.480 it was legal to rape after 70,

01:16:26.040 the divorce rate at 70,

01:16:27.060 just like 100%.

01:16:28.700 Sorry.

01:16:29.460 Sorry,

01:16:29.980 hon.

01:16:31.140 Till,

01:16:31.420 till 70 years old do us part.

01:16:34.020 Sorry, 0.95

01:16:34.600 these grandkids aren't going to rape themselves. 1.00

01:16:37.000 You know what I'm saying?

01:16:37.980 Who's going to be the best man?

01:16:39.400 Bill Weld? 1.00

01:16:39.920 It's fucking me. 1.00

01:16:44.280 Jesus Christ. 1.00

01:16:46.040 You know,

01:16:46.600 it's,

01:16:47.200 what's the,

01:16:47.660 what's the place?

01:16:49.040 Oh,

01:16:49.280 okay.

01:16:49.700 So you like,

01:16:50.800 if you have any semblance of rain while you're at Burning Man,

01:16:54.880 it basically turns into Bohemian Grove.

01:16:57.260 So like you go out there,

01:16:58.220 you're trying to just get high and have fun with your friends and then you end up eating each other.

01:17:01.740 It's,

01:17:02.540 is that what happened?

01:17:03.540 Did people, 0.99

01:17:03.900 cause like there was like stories about fucking, 0.99

01:17:05.780 one person died. 0.99

01:17:07.260 One person did die.

01:17:08.520 But they're like,

01:17:09.000 one person dies every year.

01:17:10.720 Yeah,

01:17:10.920 I think that is about the average for Burning Man.

01:17:12.740 There's Ebola out there.

01:17:13.340 They had to burn somebody.

01:17:14.780 Well,

01:17:14.960 that's what they said,

01:17:15.580 but I don't think there's Ebola.

01:17:16.880 I don't think so.

01:17:17.380 I saw that the, 0.99

01:17:18.300 the things from fucking alien were coming out of the mud. 0.99

01:17:22.060 That had to be fun to watch. 0.99

01:17:23.580 Oh,

01:17:23.840 the face huggers?

01:17:25.260 The face huggers. 0.80

01:17:26.400 Oh yeah,

01:17:26.760 that's true. 1.00

01:17:27.740 Damn, 1.00

01:17:28.060 that would suck. 0.99

01:17:28.900 Apparently they're dormant in the,

01:17:30.540 in the,

01:17:31.240 like the fossilized sand.

01:17:33.100 And then the littlest,

01:17:34.300 you know,

01:17:34.500 like an inch of rain somehow reanimates them.

01:17:38.280 And then you got all these face huggers walking around.

01:17:40.380 Oh dude,

01:17:40.720 I'm going to go to Burning Man.

01:17:41.880 I'm going to, 1.00

01:17:42.160 I'm going to put one of those things on my dick, 1.00

01:17:43.660 man. 1.00

01:17:43.840 Get that grippy. 1.00

01:17:46.440 Damn it. 1.00

01:17:47.880 This dude will fuck anything but a woman. 1.00

01:17:50.480 It's amazing. 1.00

01:17:52.120 He had the opportunity at my house.

01:17:54.500 Like we were going to like fly out that girl. 0.68

01:17:56.360 She's probably in the chat somewhere.

01:17:57.460 I didn't do it.

01:17:57.940 Top.

01:17:58.300 Uh,

01:17:58.580 what if they,

01:17:59.140 what if they did Burning Man at a Joshua tree?

01:18:02.040 And then like, 1.00

01:18:02.660 what the fuck shit would go on there? 1.00

01:18:04.480 Yeah. 1.00

01:18:04.720 You want to like get all the demons out.

01:18:06.360 That's actually a good,

01:18:07.000 good spot.

01:18:07.740 Yeah.

01:18:07.920 That's so,

01:18:08.720 uh,

01:18:09.220 I top show me this,

01:18:11.320 uh,

01:18:11.580 what's the,

01:18:12.180 uh,

01:18:12.520 podcast called the confessionals with Tony Merkel.

01:18:15.200 And it was this thing about these guys that he,

01:18:17.380 he got into like a,

01:18:18.720 um, 0.98

01:18:19.520 devil worshiping cults and they went out to Joshua tree and he saw like some crazy shit happen. 0.98

01:18:24.340 And then like, 0.99

01:18:25.480 after that,

01:18:26.140 I've been hearing all stuff like,

01:18:27.760 then like one of my favorite guys puts out a thing about demons.

01:18:30.900 Uh,

01:18:31.420 Wendy Goon puts out a video about demons. 0.99

01:18:32.820 And then Top was talking about fucking demons and angels with his daughter. 0.99

01:18:35.440 I'm like, 1.00

01:18:35.640 this is getting too much.

01:18:36.460 This is happening.

01:18:37.320 I got too many,

01:18:37.900 like demon, 0.97

01:18:39.600 a cult shit happening to me right now that I'm not liking where this is going. 0.95

01:18:43.800 And then I remember like I, 0.96

01:18:45.200 because,

01:18:45.720 uh,

01:18:46.320 somebody said something about like the only way you can get demons in you is you have to actually invite them in.

01:18:50.960 And I remember that you're possessed by a demon Cole.

01:18:54.200 No,

01:18:54.500 no,

01:18:54.620 no,

01:18:54.780 no,

01:18:54.880 listen.

01:18:55.100 So I,

01:18:57.600 uh,

01:18:57.920 no,

01:18:58.200 I remember this is going to be another adventure in Cole's life,

01:19:01.780 uh, 0.99

01:19:02.480 of like something really stupid. 1.00

01:19:04.820 Uh, 1.00

01:19:05.280 I did.

01:19:05.940 And I can remember,

01:19:06.600 I can remember doing this,

01:19:07.560 uh, 0.99

01:19:08.440 when I was growing up after I learned to jerk off, 0.95

01:19:10.400 I didn't have a phone. 0.96

01:19:13.300 I didn't have a phone.

01:19:13.860 I had an iPod.

01:19:14.360 I didn't have any way I could look at porn.

01:19:15.600 You learned who taught you?

01:19:17.200 Uh,

01:19:17.400 my cousin.

01:19:18.340 Um,

01:19:19.100 just,

01:19:19.980 just like top. 0.99

01:19:21.000 Holy shit. 0.99

01:19:22.220 Yeah. 1.00

01:19:22.580 No,

01:19:22.860 my cousin.

01:19:23.540 Uh,

01:19:24.160 Oh God.

01:19:24.740 It might have to go. 0.99

01:19:25.440 Is it gay? 0.99

01:19:26.300 Are we doing the second? 0.98

01:19:27.260 No,

01:19:27.620 throw the graphic back up.

01:19:29.900 My cousin legit.

01:19:31.040 He was like,

01:19:31.740 uh,

01:19:32.200 Oh,

01:19:32.420 it was like,

01:19:32.700 he was like, 0.99

01:19:34.980 you ever like jerked off. 0.99

01:19:36.820 And I was like, 0.99

01:19:37.220 no.

01:19:37.880 And he was like,

01:19:38.420 here,

01:19:38.580 we'll go in the bathroom and do it.

01:19:40.340 16.

01:19:42.460 Yeah.

01:19:42.900 And so we go in there and he was like,

01:19:44.020 you spit on your hand. 0.69

01:19:45.220 And you're from like the South,

01:19:46.640 South.

01:19:46.980 Yeah.

01:19:49.900 He's from the trailer park. 0.99

01:19:51.300 Cousin teaches you how to jerk off South. 0.99

01:19:53.000 South South. 1.00

01:19:54.220 Yeah.

01:19:55.300 Cole's cousin.

01:19:56.240 My cousin,

01:19:56.820 my cousin did live in a trailer.

01:19:58.800 His cousin,

01:19:59.460 his cousin was also a 50 years old. 1.00

01:20:01.680 Did you only teach you how to fuck too? 1.00

01:20:03.640 Yeah. 1.00

01:20:04.100 He's like, 1.00

01:20:04.840 you only fuck buttholes boy. 1.00

01:20:08.140 No, 1.00

01:20:08.600 but yeah, 1.00

01:20:08.960 he taught me how to jerk off. 0.99

01:20:10.140 He just, 0.99

01:20:10.400 but we got you to sidetrack.

01:20:11.700 So what?

01:20:12.120 Go back,

01:20:12.720 go back.

01:20:13.100 So, 0.99

01:20:13.300 so we're going to jerk off. 0.99

01:20:14.460 Yeah. 0.99

01:20:14.660 Yeah.

01:20:14.780 So I,

01:20:15.740 you just,

01:20:16.100 I would,

01:20:16.600 by the way, 1.00

01:20:17.060 you're gay. 1.00

01:20:17.600 You're gay for letting your cousin tell you that. 1.00

01:20:19.560 So go ahead. 1.00

01:20:20.480 Wait, 0.99

01:20:20.720 did y'all just figure out jerking off on your own? 1.00

01:20:23.980 Yeah. 0.99

01:20:24.640 Yeah. 0.99

01:20:25.240 No fucking way. 0.99

01:20:26.620 Yeah. 0.99

01:20:27.420 Yeah.

01:20:28.080 It's pretty intuitive.

01:20:28.600 I told you guys, 0.98

01:20:28.900 I told you guys I used to jerk off like this as opposed to like this because I didn't know 0.99

01:20:32.160 what I was doing. 0.99

01:20:32.820 Oh yeah,

01:20:33.080 I started,

01:20:33.580 I did that move too.

01:20:34.440 I think I started off with like humping pillows.

01:20:37.780 Yeah.

01:20:38.180 I never did that.

01:20:39.460 Yeah.

01:20:39.580 I never did that.

01:20:40.040 Mattresses.

01:20:40.600 I was like,

01:20:41.200 you know,

01:20:41.640 he always talks about this mattress thing. 1.00

01:20:43.460 It's fucking disgusting. 0.99

01:20:44.260 Well, 1.00

01:20:44.420 I was kind of,

01:20:44.900 I was kind of,

01:20:45.640 well,

01:20:45.980 I was mushing it into my like gut.

01:20:48.180 I still don't know what that means.

01:20:51.760 You were just fat?

01:20:52.800 Like you were just like, 0.98

01:20:53.760 you were like your fat being like touched. 1.00

01:20:55.780 Are you just bragging about your dick reaching your belly button again? 1.00

01:20:58.120 I wasn't as fat back then. 1.00

01:20:58.920 This is a roundabout way to brag about your dick. 1.00

01:21:00.620 Yeah, 1.00

01:21:00.800 I was actually inserting it to the belly button. 1.00

01:21:03.040 Obama's dick would definitely reach his belly button, 1.00

01:21:04.820 but not in an impressive way. 1.00

01:21:06.360 It's just very stretchy.

01:21:08.880 By the way,

01:21:09.760 we saw a picture when you were younger.

01:21:11.240 You were always a portly,

01:21:12.280 portly person.

01:21:13.300 Yeah.

01:21:13.400 No,

01:21:13.640 I wasn't.

01:21:14.260 I was really thin.

01:21:15.620 Don't make me pull that up.

01:21:17.040 Honest to God.

01:21:18.040 Honest to God.

01:21:18.520 Do I have an ending?

01:21:19.560 No,

01:21:19.860 no,

01:21:20.000 no,

01:21:20.260 no.

01:21:20.580 Hold on.

01:21:20.860 Hold on.

01:21:21.220 Hold on.

01:21:21.600 Hold on.

01:21:21.940 I have to interrupt you one more time.

01:21:23.360 Toad,

01:21:24.040 your body at five years old looks the exact same as it does right now.

01:21:27.720 The exact same.

01:21:28.320 I know my own life.

01:21:30.000 I know my own life.

01:21:31.240 Toad,

01:21:31.740 Toad,

01:21:32.260 Toad,

01:21:32.520 Toad,

01:21:33.240 I saw a photo.

01:21:34.580 You're the same body. 1.00

01:21:35.200 I don't give a shit. 1.00

01:21:35.540 You just took the hair that was on your head and you put it on your beard, 0.99

01:21:38.740 and that's the only thing that's changed in 35 years.

01:21:41.320 No,

01:21:41.700 I was incredibly thin up until like sometime in high school probably. 0.99

01:21:45.140 You're such a funny liar. 0.88

01:21:45.900 I'm not. 0.99

01:21:46.220 No,

01:21:46.420 listen,

01:21:46.640 all right,

01:21:47.000 so I didn't have any.

01:21:48.200 Why would I lie about that?

01:21:49.540 I don't know.

01:21:50.360 Why do you lie?

01:21:50.920 You see those words behind him there?

01:21:52.120 We have no idea.

01:21:53.160 He picked up a 30 and said it was a 40 when we could clearly see it,

01:21:56.600 and he lied to us.

01:21:57.440 It's on video.

01:21:58.580 Yeah,

01:21:59.000 no,

01:21:59.440 no,

01:21:59.540 no,

01:21:59.800 I forgot which one it was.

01:22:01.780 No, 1.00

01:22:02.020 you're a pathological liar. 1.00

01:22:02.460 I forgot it's written on it. 1.00

01:22:04.280 Toad,

01:22:04.600 you don't forget.

01:22:06.000 Dude,

01:22:06.540 I couldn't see it in the video.

01:22:08.060 I didn't remember which one it was.

01:22:09.320 Whatever.

01:22:09.480 I still don't think it was a 30,

01:22:10.600 but go ahead.

01:22:11.380 Yeah,

01:22:11.660 it was a 30.

01:22:12.460 All right,

01:22:12.740 so I,

01:22:13.920 when I was,

01:22:14.840 I didn't have any,

01:22:15.580 I didn't have a porn to watch. 0.61

01:22:17.220 I didn't have any porno magazines.

01:22:19.200 The closest thing I would get to is like sports magazines in the back. 0.98

01:22:22.860 They would advertise for like dick pills, 0.94

01:22:24.520 and sometimes they would have like a girl in lingerie on there. 1.00

01:22:27.560 I jerk off to that shit, 1.00

01:22:28.680 but I do remember. 1.00

01:22:30.160 That's reasonable.

01:22:30.960 Yeah.

01:22:31.400 One night, 0.98

01:22:31.940 I'm just jerking. 0.65

01:22:32.760 I'm just going straight from the brain, 0.60

01:22:34.340 man,

01:22:34.940 and I, 1.00

01:22:36.080 God damn, 0.99

01:22:36.940 this is going to be so fucking weird saying this. 0.99

01:22:40.220 I was like, 0.97

01:22:41.060 devil,

01:22:41.580 if you're out there, 0.99

01:22:42.360 can you put like a big titted girl in my mind, 1.00

01:22:44.580 in my imagination? 0.98

01:22:46.120 You asked the devil?

01:22:47.660 Devil.

01:22:48.640 I was going to ask God.

01:22:51.100 Why didn't you ask God?

01:22:52.320 God could do that.

01:22:52.940 Why did you have to ask a higher power to think of a big breasted woman at all? 0.90

01:22:56.980 Because maybe I'm the one that like,

01:22:59.720 people are like,

01:23:00.380 I can't imagine things.

01:23:01.600 Like think of an apple,

01:23:02.600 and they're like,

01:23:02.960 what are you going to think?

01:23:03.460 You manifested Liz.

01:23:04.360 Yeah.

01:23:04.760 Oh my God.

01:23:07.480 The devil put my wife in my life. 0.93

01:23:11.080 But yeah,

01:23:11.620 that's what I did.

01:23:12.680 And so,

01:23:13.000 and then after that topic,

01:23:13.980 maybe think I was like, 1.00

01:23:15.040 Oh fuck. 1.00

01:23:15.880 Did I invite a demon into me? 1.00

01:23:17.780 Like when I was like 12 years old.

01:23:19.620 And so now it could be.

01:23:20.680 Nope.

01:23:20.940 That was just your uncle.

01:23:24.920 Why would you, 0.93

01:23:25.860 why would you ask the devil for a big breasted woman? 1.00

01:23:29.540 That's so crazy. 0.98

01:23:31.160 I understand the logic.

01:23:32.600 No,

01:23:33.060 I don't.

01:23:33.740 You just think,

01:23:34.780 just think of it.

01:23:35.680 Why do you have to summon the devil?

01:23:37.460 Because it's like a new one.

01:23:39.120 Like a,

01:23:39.960 I don't know.

01:23:40.300 Give me the best that you have on offer,

01:23:43.400 Lord.

01:23:44.640 Toad, 1.00

01:23:45.160 you were always like a lumpy bitch. 1.00

01:23:47.240 Look, 1.00

01:23:47.700 it's crazy.

01:23:48.340 Ask us who it was.

01:23:49.740 It's the exact same body you've got,

01:23:51.340 bro.

01:23:51.480 I'm like this,

01:23:51.760 man.

01:23:52.040 That's crazy.

01:23:53.720 No,

01:23:54.200 no,

01:23:54.880 dude,

01:23:55.220 I'm not lumpy.

01:23:55.920 I'm not lumpy.

01:23:56.760 You have the same exact body shape.

01:23:58.360 You're not lumpy.

01:23:59.700 This is you though,

01:24:00.640 right,

01:24:00.860 Toad?

01:24:01.060 My sister.

01:24:01.860 It's your build right now.

01:24:03.660 We're on the twin towers.

01:24:05.160 It's a tower gang.

01:24:05.540 Dude, 1.00

01:24:05.860 you still have that fucking barrel gut thing happening as a four-year-old. 1.00

01:24:09.380 No, 1.00

01:24:09.460 I didn't.

01:24:09.960 Dude,

01:24:10.260 show the picture.

01:24:11.120 I just posted one in the tower gang chat.

01:24:13.080 Bring that one up. 0.80

01:24:14.700 Dude,

01:24:15.180 I was really,

01:24:16.560 I told you,

01:24:17.380 I weighed like,

01:24:17.860 I weighed like 38 pounds when I was like seven or eight years old.

01:24:21.420 So in that photo,

01:24:22.740 you weighed 38 pounds,

01:24:23.720 huh?

01:24:23.840 This is the picture you were going with?

01:24:24.440 No,

01:24:24.620 no,

01:24:24.820 that was when I was in fifth grade.

01:24:26.920 This was around that same time.

01:24:28.780 So you're looking oddly,

01:24:31.080 kind of,

01:24:31.800 like a,

01:24:32.600 Don't say it.

01:24:33.440 Like a toad.

01:24:34.240 Like a tree.

01:24:34.560 Oh,

01:24:34.760 okay.

01:24:35.260 Yeah. 0.99

01:24:35.880 I thought you were going to say fuckable. 0.98

01:24:37.360 I like, 1.00

01:24:37.980 I like how you asked the barber for the Obama half-circumcised penis cut. 1.00

01:24:42.380 I know. 0.99

01:24:43.180 This is why I'm named Toad from that haircut.

01:24:46.280 Yeah. 1.00

01:24:46.660 You should kill your mom. 1.00

01:24:47.860 All right. 1.00

01:24:51.640 That's what the devil said to Cole.

01:24:55.180 I'll give you a,

01:24:56.240 your own imagination. 1.00

01:24:57.260 If you just kill your parents right now. 1.00

01:24:59.220 You're like real, 1.00

01:24:59.700 real talk though. 1.00

01:25:00.320 If your mom sends you out into fucking public school with that haircut, 1.00

01:25:03.420 she hates your guts. 1.00

01:25:05.040 She hates you. 1.00

01:25:06.060 So much like visceral hatred.

01:25:08.740 Yeah.

01:25:09.500 I think this is too far.

01:25:10.580 I think this is too far guys.

01:25:12.840 I can't believe you.

01:25:13.720 You were like,

01:25:14.480 we talked about it.

01:25:15.600 Like we shouldn't post this.

01:25:16.760 Like we're going to use this as picture as proof.

01:25:19.760 It was a thing in the nineties,

01:25:21.100 but I don't,

01:25:22.000 I don't like you.

01:25:22.620 It wasn't a thing in the nineties.

01:25:23.780 We were all in the nineties Toad.

01:25:25.080 It wasn't a thing.

01:25:25.860 Yeah,

01:25:26.100 it absolutely wasn't.

01:25:28.180 So I'll tell you what,

01:25:29.260 Toad, 0.66

01:25:29.660 you look damn good in that. 1.00

01:25:31.420 And I'd let you fuck me, 1.00

01:25:32.380 bud. 1.00

01:25:32.860 Thank you.

01:25:33.700 But only whenever you were in fifth grade.

01:25:35.800 Only as a child.

01:25:36.960 Only as a child.

01:25:38.340 Only as a kid.

01:25:39.380 Dude,

01:25:39.700 I looked,

01:25:40.140 I looked dapper in that tux.

01:25:42.120 I was thin.

01:25:42.840 You did look dapper,

01:25:43.580 by the way.

01:25:44.020 You did look dapper,

01:25:44.740 Toad.

01:25:45.180 Yeah.

01:25:45.520 I got to tell you,

01:25:46.500 Toad,

01:25:46.700 I don't like the way that you're reminiscing about this is if you had peaked at six.

01:25:51.380 I was like,

01:25:51.740 real talk.

01:25:52.440 That's what's happening right now.

01:25:53.240 And he's like,

01:25:53.560 this is the greatest photo of me in my entire life.

01:25:56.660 That's amazing because some guys were like,

01:25:58.860 yeah,

01:25:59.160 they peaked in high school.

01:26:00.620 Toad literally peaked in like elementary school.

01:26:04.520 He thinks he peaked with a bowl cut standing in front of a piano.

01:26:08.520 No,

01:26:08.700 no,

01:26:08.960 no.

01:26:09.460 I'm going to go back to the good old days on the playground.

01:26:12.020 I actually peaked.

01:26:12.800 I peaked around 16 months probably when I,

01:26:15.840 when I could actually read sentences at 16 months.

01:26:18.800 That,

01:26:19.140 that was,

01:26:19.580 that was my peak.

01:26:20.400 It's all downhill from there.

01:26:21.880 I'm not, 0.99

01:26:22.480 I'm not fucking. 0.92

01:26:23.240 I'm not fucking lying. 0.97

01:26:23.960 You had so much potential Toad. 0.97

01:26:25.480 That's what,

01:26:25.860 a lot of people told you you had a lot of potential.

01:26:27.980 He could,

01:26:28.340 he could read it 16 months and he didn't even weigh 16 pounds.

01:26:31.020 Amazing.

01:26:31.940 Yeah.

01:26:32.360 No,

01:26:32.680 I did not.

01:26:33.840 And,

01:26:34.020 and they made that haircut by the way,

01:26:35.580 they made it sound cool.

01:26:36.700 Cause they were like,

01:26:37.300 we're giving you the surfer cut.

01:26:39.700 That's what,

01:26:40.140 that's what they call it.

01:26:41.080 You should, 1.00

01:26:41.440 you should fire bomb that building wherever it happened. 0.99

01:26:45.060 I don't even know if it exists anymore. 0.99

01:26:47.060 Well,

01:26:47.260 let's hope not. 1.00

01:26:48.160 That's a fucking tragedy. 1.00

01:26:49.220 What they did. 1.00

01:26:49.680 Unless you mean the twin towers,

01:26:51.840 right?

01:26:52.520 Cole,

01:26:52.780 did they,

01:26:53.180 yeah,

01:26:53.340 either way. 0.92

01:26:53.980 Did you actually get the big titted woman? 1.00

01:26:55.760 No. 0.95

01:26:56.020 What happened?

01:26:56.520 No,

01:26:56.740 it didn't get that.

01:26:57.460 Oh wait,

01:26:58.040 are you telling me the devil isn't real?

01:27:00.200 Weird.

01:27:00.340 He's telling you that he's telling you he tried to sell his soul and the devil was like,

01:27:04.480 nah,

01:27:05.260 he was like,

01:27:06.280 he was like,

01:27:07.140 at least give me like a good offer.

01:27:08.740 Like he's like,

01:27:09.280 you know,

01:27:09.400 the devil's like,

01:27:09.920 I, 1.00

01:27:10.140 you know how much shit I have to give you? 1.00

01:27:12.000 Like I can give you whatever you want. 1.00

01:27:13.620 You know, 0.99

01:27:13.860 what's fucked though, 1.00

01:27:14.460 is that your uncle asked for a little boy's butthole and he gave him you. 1.00

01:27:17.320 Yeah. 0.99

01:27:17.500 I gave him Israel, 0.77

01:27:19.380 but he just don't like you.

01:27:21.400 So all I have is a sports illustrated in my cousin's saliva and I'm just going to town on myself.

01:27:27.820 I thought I told y'all that my cousin.

01:27:29.460 Jimmy,

01:27:29.760 can you help me?

01:27:30.320 I forgot.

01:27:31.560 No,

01:27:31.780 you did,

01:27:32.000 you did tell us.

01:27:32.780 It just,

01:27:33.160 it just like every time you say it,

01:27:34.960 it's still novel and disturbing.

01:27:38.320 Hey,

01:27:38.620 you know what?

01:27:38.960 You fit in with the rest of America.

01:27:40.360 This great nation was built by the Freemasons and the occult. 0.99

01:27:43.080 So,

01:27:43.400 you know,

01:27:43.800 go for it.

01:27:44.120 Oh,

01:27:44.260 there we go.

01:27:44.600 Yeah,

01:27:44.800 true.

01:27:45.220 I'm just,

01:27:45.500 I'm just an American hero. 0.98

01:27:46.760 There's nothing more American than asking the devil to give you something fucking awesome and powerful. 0.98

01:27:50.940 I feel like that's probably like what most of the people selling their soul did it for is for sex or like some sort of, 0.99

01:27:56.460 I mean, 1.00

01:27:57.060 just like I want some pussy. 1.00

01:27:58.280 Yeah, 1.00

01:27:58.480 it's always for sex or money. 1.00

01:28:00.540 You literally just want me to put titties in your mind? 1.00

01:28:03.140 That's it? 0.98

01:28:05.020 All right. 0.99

01:28:05.720 I'm trying to self-suck. 0.98

01:28:06.520 No, 0.98

01:28:06.680 I mean,

01:28:07.100 I,

01:28:07.880 everybody's tried.

01:28:08.620 Every guy tries it.

01:28:09.660 Like,

01:28:09.820 they're like,

01:28:10.320 nah,

01:28:11.020 I can't really.

01:28:11.420 You realize,

01:28:12.040 you realize pretty quickly.

01:28:13.060 Like,

01:28:13.220 if it's close,

01:28:13.840 you kind of know.

01:28:14.640 And if it's not,

01:28:15.200 you just like,

01:28:15.720 that's definitely not going to happen.

01:28:16.700 It's frustrating because like,

01:28:17.620 you know,

01:28:18.100 you get like,

01:28:18.700 even as flexible as you get,

01:28:19.920 you get like, 0.99

01:28:20.580 unless you got a piece or really stupid flexible, 0.99

01:28:22.680 you're always like right here and you're like, 0.99

01:28:23.660 ah,

01:28:23.920 you feel like it's almost attainable,

01:28:25.720 but no.

01:28:26.240 But there's that,

01:28:27.040 that thing about that. 1.00

01:28:27.860 They say sucking your own dick. 1.00

01:28:29.620 It doesn't feel like you're getting your dick sucked. 1.00

01:28:31.160 It just feels like you're sucking dick. 1.00

01:28:32.360 Is that what they say? 1.00

01:28:37.080 That's what my cousin says anyway. 1.00

01:28:41.000 I'll suck my dick, 1.00

01:28:42.000 bitch. 1.00

01:28:43.780 That'd be great because me and him, 1.00

01:28:45.080 like,

01:28:45.280 we're like, 1.00

01:28:45.700 we can't suck our own dicks, 1.00

01:28:46.820 but we can suck each other's. 1.00

01:28:48.340 And that way, 1.00

01:28:48.700 at least at some point, 1.00

01:28:49.940 I'm getting my dick sucked. 1.00

01:28:51.020 It feels good. 1.00

01:28:51.660 And then you get your dick sucked. 1.00

01:28:52.360 Tower gang needs to reach out to the Island boys and get some casting going. 1.00

01:28:56.760 Dude,

01:28:57.060 have you seen,

01:28:57.600 I don't know if you keep up, 1.00

01:28:59.360 at least idiots probably don't, 1.00

01:29:00.880 but like the Island boys are slowly getting gay. 1.00

01:29:02.940 Like, 0.96

01:29:03.200 Oh yeah. 0.99

01:29:03.740 It's a gay chicken. 1.00

01:29:05.200 Wait, 0.99

01:29:05.640 wait,

01:29:05.840 wait,

01:29:06.280 wait,

01:29:06.520 wait,

01:29:06.700 we're,

01:29:07.100 we're, 1.00

01:29:07.780 we're idiots because we, 1.00

01:29:09.320 we don't keep up with the Island boys. 1.00

01:29:11.780 That's what makes us.

01:29:14.760 So,

01:29:15.200 so these guys,

01:29:16.140 they have an only fans and they slowly are getting closer.

01:29:19.560 They've been kissing each other.

01:29:20.700 They've already like,

01:29:21.540 they're like,

01:29:21.960 these are brothers and they,

01:29:23.720 they're,

01:29:24.360 I heard they blew each other.

01:29:25.260 Their chat is gaslighted by now.

01:29:27.440 They've kissed each other on the,

01:29:28.980 on the,

01:29:29.740 on the,

01:29:30.200 on the,

01:29:30.440 but on,

01:29:32.540 this is on video.

01:29:34.080 They're kissing each other and they're,

01:29:35.380 no,

01:29:35.520 I know.

01:29:35.760 There's also a video of them blowing each other.

01:29:37.560 Oh really?

01:29:38.500 Yeah.

01:29:38.700 Already? 0.99

01:29:39.180 God damn it. 0.99

01:29:39.840 It turns out he does keep up. 0.99

01:29:41.500 Yeah.

01:29:42.160 I've watched the video.

01:29:43.780 I'm a,

01:29:43.960 I,

01:29:44.420 I'm one of the ones telling them to do more. 0.99

01:29:46.860 It's my fucking, 0.99

01:29:47.680 it's a homepage on my iPhone. 0.99

01:29:49.080 I'm the only one paying for them to do this. 0.95

01:29:52.020 Is it gay? 0.99

01:29:53.740 If you're,

01:29:54.520 if you're, 0.99

01:29:55.000 if you're fucking a guy who looks like. 1.00

01:29:56.500 Please stop paying us. 1.00

01:29:58.760 If you're fucking. 1.00

01:29:59.440 $1,000 now fist him. 1.00

01:30:01.960 If you're fucking a guy who looks like exactly like you, 1.00

01:30:04.660 is that gay? 1.00

01:30:06.180 Yeah. 0.99

01:30:06.700 Still gay. 1.00

01:30:07.560 Are they twins? 0.84

01:30:08.460 They say twins.

01:30:09.120 Anytime,

01:30:09.580 anytime you say,

01:30:10.580 anytime you say a sentence that starts with, 0.99

01:30:13.700 if you're fucking a guy, 1.00

01:30:14.920 you already know it's gay. 1.00

01:30:16.460 Identical twin is basically a clone.

01:30:18.100 So I was a counselor at an afterschool program and we had a set of twins and they were,

01:30:22.840 you were the counselor.

01:30:24.160 I was,

01:30:24.660 I was like one of like 50 or whatever.

01:30:26.160 There's like,

01:30:26.520 whatever.

01:30:27.400 So these kids, 1.00

01:30:28.620 they would go to the bathroom and they would do gay shit with each other. 1.00

01:30:31.340 They're like a set of twins. 1.00

01:30:32.260 And they look like,

01:30:32.940 uh,

01:30:33.880 what are the guys from,

01:30:35.160 uh,

01:30:35.440 particularly gay, 0.99

01:30:37.040 uh, 0.96

01:30:37.320 Alice in Wonderland.

01:30:38.200 You know,

01:30:38.360 the twins from there,

01:30:39.220 they look just like that.

01:30:40.980 Tweedledee and Tweedledum.

01:30:42.620 Yeah.

01:30:42.860 Yeah.

01:30:42.980 Chubby white kids. 0.99

01:30:43.840 I don't even fucking remember. 0.99

01:30:45.660 The other kids came in, 0.97

01:30:46.500 they reported him and they were like,

01:30:47.680 like they were telling us,

01:30:48.700 I'm like,

01:30:48.840 I don't know how to deal with this.

01:30:49.780 Like we told their mom, 1.00

01:30:51.060 like kids are doing gay shit with each other. 1.00

01:30:52.980 And she didn't seem bothered. 1.00

01:30:54.760 I was like,

01:30:54.980 this is awkward.

01:30:55.580 I'm just like,

01:30:56.160 I,

01:30:56.320 I guess just let them.

01:30:57.840 How old were they?

01:30:59.200 Uh,

01:30:59.640 probably like nine,

01:31:01.840 10.

01:31:01.980 Just told the mom to move to LA. 0.99

01:31:03.660 They'd fucking run for mayor. 1.00

01:31:05.260 Oh my God. 1.00

01:31:06.060 They would,

01:31:06.300 they would literally be celebrities and I'm not even,

01:31:08.620 I think they would actually be celebrities.

01:31:10.020 If you had like two like gay twin boys, 0.99

01:31:12.560 it is gay, 0.99

01:31:13.840 but it's oddly more narcissistic than it is gay. 1.00

01:31:17.500 Yeah. 0.99

01:31:18.060 Well,

01:31:18.260 because it's the thing of like, 1.00

01:31:19.460 would you fuck yourself? 1.00

01:31:20.440 If you, 1.00

01:31:20.800 if there was some reason you could clone yourself,

01:31:23.500 would you?

01:31:23.760 I would rather not.

01:31:24.560 I would,

01:31:25.220 I would not.

01:31:26.700 If I'm being honest,

01:31:27.800 I would prefer not.

01:31:28.540 Not be at least bit grossed out by it.

01:31:30.580 Be like,

01:31:31.060 dude's cute.

01:31:31.900 You know?

01:31:33.620 Dude,

01:31:34.140 I hate myself.

01:31:35.600 This guy likes what I like. 0.99

01:31:36.540 It's a very gay sentence. 0.95

01:31:37.380 Dude, 0.96

01:31:37.720 I,

01:31:37.880 I hate myself.

01:31:38.800 I wouldn't, 1.00

01:31:39.120 I wouldn't fuck myself. 1.00

01:31:40.400 Toad would kill himself. 1.00

01:31:41.720 He would actually, 1.00

01:31:42.420 he would kill himself to actually murder himself. 1.00

01:31:44.980 That would actually be a great way to kill Toad. 1.00

01:31:45.880 Dude, 0.98

01:31:45.980 I'm on the same page with you,

01:31:47.020 man. 0.99

01:31:47.240 When a girl has sex with me, 1.00

01:31:48.280 it's the worst thing she can do if she wants to be in a relationship with me. 0.97

01:31:50.580 I lose all respect for her.

01:31:51.560 I'm like, 1.00

01:31:51.780 you're fucking gross. 1.00

01:31:52.720 Yeah. 1.00

01:31:53.200 Yeah. 0.99

01:31:53.420 You had sex with me? 1.00

01:31:54.600 Oh. 1.00

01:31:54.860 That's self-respect.

01:31:56.200 That's,

01:31:56.220 that's not,

01:31:56.660 that's not why Toad isn't in a relationship.

01:31:59.240 He's never had that ever.

01:32:00.340 What about,

01:32:01.060 what about if you had like,

01:32:01.980 I've lost all respect for you. 1.00

01:32:03.480 What about if you had two twin sisters fucking themselves? 1.00

01:32:07.140 Would you watch that? 1.00

01:32:08.460 Of course I'd watch it. 1.00

01:32:09.780 Am I fucking gay? 0.99

01:32:10.580 That's not gay. 0.99

01:32:10.940 It's still weird, 0.51

01:32:11.600 but yeah. 0.88

01:32:12.100 It is a gay. 1.00

01:32:12.700 I mean, 1.00

01:32:12.720 there are pieces of shit, 1.00

01:32:14.220 but I'm fucking doing the right thing. 0.99

01:32:15.760 Yeah,

01:32:16.060 dude,

01:32:16.380 dude,

01:32:16.620 it's one of my favorite porn genres.

01:32:18.720 It's the best.

01:32:19.880 Yeah.

01:32:20.900 Just,

01:32:21.400 I'm just,

01:32:21.720 I'm just clarifying.

01:32:22.720 No,

01:32:22.900 Top,

01:32:23.100 you disagree?

01:32:23.680 I want to hear this.

01:32:24.580 if you were born in the South 200 years ago,

01:32:27.160 how many slaves would you have? 0.98

01:32:29.140 No,

01:32:29.560 I'd make him my slave if he was in the South. 1.00

01:32:33.020 Can you, 0.93

01:32:33.680 could you have white people as slaves? 0.71

01:32:36.400 Yeah,

01:32:36.760 that's how we started.

01:32:38.360 I don't see why not.

01:32:39.200 Oh,

01:32:39.400 we started with white people and then we're like,

01:32:40.800 these guys don't work as hard as these other dudes.

01:32:42.280 No,

01:32:42.520 it's not like that at all.

01:32:43.460 So the,

01:32:43.840 the whole thing with like the Irish slave or whatever,

01:32:46.080 they,

01:32:46.320 they Cromwell,

01:32:48.100 uh,

01:32:48.440 destroyed Ireland and then enslaved us, 1.00

01:32:50.560 sent us down to Jamaica and,

01:32:52.920 uh,

01:32:53.280 we burnt up.

01:32:54.180 We got like skin cancer.

01:32:55.500 So they forced mating with the native population,

01:32:57.500 created the quote unquote mulatto.

01:33:00.500 And,

01:33:01.020 uh,

01:33:01.640 yeah,

01:33:01.860 so that,

01:33:02.340 uh,

01:33:02.480 the skin wouldn't,

01:33:03.440 uh,

01:33:04.040 wouldn't burn in the sun.

01:33:05.280 So yeah.

01:33:06.200 What,

01:33:06.360 what,

01:33:06.580 what island,

01:33:07.380 what island was this?

01:33:08.540 Jamaica first and all the Caribbean's in the South. 0.97

01:33:11.140 So what,

01:33:11.700 what,

01:33:12.180 uh,

01:33:12.460 what were those people called?

01:33:14.100 I mean,

01:33:14.320 cause like Jamaicans aren't really light skin.

01:33:15.920 So what'd they do with you guys?

01:33:17.140 Like the mulatto offspring? 1.00

01:33:19.140 Well,

01:33:19.620 like the Dominicans or something?

01:33:21.140 No,

01:33:21.360 no.

01:33:21.520 Well,

01:33:21.720 either they died off or they progressively became lighter skin.

01:33:26.040 Like if you look at a guy like Bob Marley,

01:33:27.560 facial features are very European,

01:33:29.660 light skin,

01:33:30.300 the whole Jamaican accent,

01:33:31.660 everything Jamaican,

01:33:32.680 the words,

01:33:33.840 all of it comes from Scott.

01:33:35.060 You're saying Bob Marley was probably like a third Irish or something.

01:33:38.160 At least.

01:33:38.680 Yeah.

01:33:39.080 Yeah.

01:33:39.320 Yeah.

01:33:39.520 That's cool.

01:33:40.100 Yeah.

01:33:40.300 If you ever want to read about this,

01:33:41.620 this is like,

01:33:42.520 this is so you're not allowed to say any of this,

01:33:44.840 but it's a Thomas.

01:33:45.720 Maybe that's an amazing book called,

01:33:47.920 uh,

01:33:48.600 black redneck, 0.98

01:33:49.380 white liberal.

01:33:49.860 And it's a,

01:33:50.960 it's an incredible book that gets you down the,

01:33:53.780 uh,

01:33:53.940 the rabbit hole.

01:33:54.840 Hey Gerard,

01:33:55.420 Gerard,

01:33:55.900 if you take this intellectual one more time,

01:33:57.680 I'm going to kick you off the show. 1.00

01:33:58.800 Don't you fucking do it. 1.00

01:34:00.120 Don't you fucking do it. 1.00

01:34:01.060 I'll kick you right in the show. 1.00

01:34:01.840 I was hoping to get to the top. 0.96

01:34:03.500 Anyway,

01:34:03.880 that's,

01:34:04.500 that's the, 1.00

01:34:04.920 the reason for Obama's unimpressive dick. 1.00

01:34:07.900 Thank you. 1.00

01:34:08.840 Thank you.

01:34:09.280 Because he's a third Irish. 0.98

01:34:11.760 No,

01:34:12.180 because I wanted to get,

01:34:12.920 because you said Jamaica and top has a,

01:34:15.040 like a vendetta against this whole island.

01:34:18.260 But maybe it's because of their Irish. 0.98

01:34:19.860 Roots.

01:34:20.500 Why?

01:34:20.800 Yeah.

01:34:20.960 That's what the,

01:34:21.540 is that what they got the laziness from?

01:34:22.960 Like,

01:34:23.160 what is it going on?

01:34:23.740 Like,

01:34:23.980 where did,

01:34:24.420 I thought there was an Irish work ethic,

01:34:27.060 but I guess they just didn't have,

01:34:28.120 they didn't have whiskey.

01:34:28.940 So they all became stoners.

01:34:30.200 Yeah.

01:34:30.880 You think immediately it has to do with their race and not the fact that

01:34:34.320 they're drunk and high all the time.

01:34:36.160 Well,

01:34:36.280 no,

01:34:36.500 so it's both right there. 0.98

01:34:38.060 They're low IQ comes half from the black half and the other half from the 1.00

01:34:42.360 drunk half. 0.99

01:34:43.060 It's plausible. 1.00

01:34:45.480 That's why they're particularly fucked up. 0.99

01:34:47.200 They got both, 0.99

01:34:47.900 they got both sides of it.

01:34:49.120 Yeah.

01:34:49.600 Their offspring is,

01:34:50.740 it was like,

01:34:51.600 it was actually like the reverse genetic,

01:34:53.380 like,

01:34:53.840 like the,

01:34:54.980 survival of the fittest.

01:34:56.460 They just got worse as it went along.

01:34:58.200 So it was like the worst traits of each race that mixed came out instead of 1.00

01:35:03.680 the best part.

01:35:04.300 So it was just like the worst part of being Irish and the worst part of being 1.00

01:35:07.120 black. 0.96

01:35:07.500 And that's how you get Jamaica. 0.92

01:35:08.740 I have an important question for Tom.

01:35:10.200 Is there, 0.98

01:35:10.600 is there any nationality or like variant of black that you hate more than 1.00

01:35:15.900 Jamaicans? 0.98

01:35:16.700 Are they the apex?

01:35:18.000 That's the hard thing. 0.61

01:35:18.800 I don't hate Jamaicans.

01:35:20.640 I don't,

01:35:20.980 I don't hate them,

01:35:22.200 but like the people that were in Jamaica, 0.93

01:35:24.640 the black people there.

01:35:25.500 Yes. 0.98

01:35:25.680 That's at the top of the list. 0.96

01:35:26.720 Those are like ghetto black people from. 1.00

01:35:28.780 So, 0.95

01:35:29.120 so Jamaicans.

01:35:32.120 Oh, 0.98

01:35:32.700 are you talking about the Haitians are rough? 0.94

01:35:35.960 Yeah. 0.99

01:35:37.020 Do you run into any black Israelites top? 0.78

01:35:41.880 Yeah. 0.84

01:35:42.340 Yeah.

01:35:42.500 I would watch that.

01:35:43.280 You worked with one job.

01:35:44.680 Yeah. 0.98

01:35:45.160 I'd watch top versus a black Israelite. 0.99

01:35:47.920 I'll tell you this.

01:35:48.400 You probably see who, 0.95

01:35:50.400 who hates the Jews more. 0.96

01:35:51.680 I'll tell the story. 0.94

01:35:52.780 He said,

01:35:53.040 he said to me,

01:35:56.440 he,

01:35:56.820 he thought I was white,

01:35:57.700 I guess,

01:35:58.160 for whatever reason.

01:35:59.000 And he was like,

01:36:00.120 yo,

01:36:00.640 yo.

01:36:01.040 And he kept calling me by my name.

01:36:02.420 Top.

01:36:02.660 I'm King David.

01:36:03.660 Huh?

01:36:05.980 Hey,

01:36:06.420 play. 0.92

01:36:06.640 What do you think about interracial interracial sex? 0.84

01:36:10.460 And I was like,

01:36:11.520 I looked at him and I saw that he wanted me to like argue with him.

01:36:14.300 So I just said,

01:36:15.000 I think it's disgusting and it should never happen. 1.00

01:36:17.300 And he's like fucking live it. 1.00

01:36:19.880 He was livid because he wanted to make the point that it was disgusting for a white woman to be or whatever this. 1.00

01:36:25.140 And I said, 0.99

01:36:25.560 yeah,

01:36:25.660 no,

01:36:25.740 I completely agree with you. 0.81

01:36:26.880 It's completely disgusting. 1.00

01:36:28.020 They should never lay with the black man. 1.00

01:36:29.720 And he was like, 1.00

01:36:30.720 how would you say that shit? 1.00

01:36:32.580 So I just completely flipped around the, 1.00

01:36:35.080 the,

01:36:36.160 the,

01:36:36.660 the,

01:36:36.720 the,

01:36:36.880 so wait,

01:36:37.640 this is all you have to do to like get under the skin is just like agree with them.

01:36:40.900 Outracist them.

01:36:41.840 Yeah.

01:36:42.220 Reverse racism.

01:36:43.400 But no,

01:36:43.840 I guess,

01:36:44.140 but like Cole,

01:36:45.160 did you think it was hard to get under their skin?

01:36:48.060 Oh yeah.

01:36:48.700 I just stand up on a box and yell at people when they're off time.

01:36:54.800 It's a Saturday in the afternoon,

01:36:56.480 bud.

01:36:57.040 Like,

01:36:57.300 do you think,

01:36:57.860 I don't know what's worse because I don't know if you've ever,

01:37:01.640 this is a big thing in Pensacola.

01:37:03.000 I think there's a,

01:37:03.620 in Pensacola,

01:37:04.460 there's one church that was,

01:37:05.680 is like,

01:37:06.320 um,

01:37:08.020 what's that,

01:37:08.400 what's that really racist?

01:37:09.480 Uh,

01:37:09.720 it's in,

01:37:10.100 uh,

01:37:10.300 Tom Segura's,

01:37:11.080 um,

01:37:12.080 special new special.

01:37:13.100 He talks about the,

01:37:13.860 um,

01:37:14.200 that church that was,

01:37:15.360 had the,

01:37:15.760 uh, 1.00

01:37:15.960 God hate fags. 1.00

01:37:17.280 Um, 1.00

01:37:18.120 Oh yeah.

01:37:18.460 Um,

01:37:18.820 picket science Westboro Baptist.

01:37:20.560 There's a church like that in Pensacola.

01:37:22.780 It's not as big,

01:37:23.580 but these people stand outside.

01:37:25.240 They get their kids and everybody to stand on the street corners,

01:37:27.900 every street corner of Pensacola.

01:37:29.140 And they yell at the cars passing by, 1.00

01:37:31.620 like you're going to hell and that shit like that. 1.00

01:37:34.120 So I don't know if they're worse or the black Hebrew Israelites are worse. 1.00

01:37:37.120 Those people are pretty shitty. 1.00

01:37:40.060 But the, 0.99

01:37:40.900 the thing is like,

01:37:41.780 because the black Hebrew Israelites, 0.98

01:37:42.860 they don't stay with their kids. 0.96

01:37:44.800 They don't bring their kids along.

01:37:45.840 The Westboro people,

01:37:46.760 they,

01:37:47.020 they do those demonstrations,

01:37:48.380 like in front of like,

01:37:50.420 uh,

01:37:51.000 funerals for like gay people and stuff like that.

01:37:53.420 That's based.

01:37:54.500 Yeah.

01:37:54.880 That's,

01:37:55.420 uh,

01:37:56.920 well,

01:37:57.380 I don't know.

01:37:58.680 It's pretty,

01:37:59.120 again,

01:37:59.920 I think that's a Southern thing that don't,

01:38:01.840 yeah,

01:38:02.280 that's what I said.

01:38:02.940 I don't think anybody around like the,

01:38:04.760 like on here has dealt with that.

01:38:06.280 Like it's a very,

01:38:06.980 like I understood like just seeing people on the street corner,

01:38:09.500 but it's like street preachers and they're just like,

01:38:12.660 yeah,

01:38:12.960 they'll like literally hold up signs. 0.87

01:38:14.180 Like you're going to hell.

01:38:15.660 John 3 16,

01:38:16.760 like this,

01:38:17.160 like my aunt,

01:38:19.000 uh,

01:38:19.240 she had a church in Coney Island and she was doing that.

01:38:22.620 Like before it was cool.

01:38:23.760 It's like a Spanish Pentecostal church.

01:38:25.740 And she was like,

01:38:26.340 yo,

01:38:26.440 we got to stop gay marriage like way, 1.00

01:38:28.160 way back before even Obama was president.

01:38:30.280 And I remember telling her like,

01:38:32.140 Hey,

01:38:32.400 you know,

01:38:33.240 like,

01:38:33.600 don't you think this isn't right?

01:38:34.780 And now later on,

01:38:35.580 I'm like,

01:38:35.860 she was completely right.

01:38:36.820 We probably should,

01:38:37.660 probably should have listened to her and stop that way back then. 0.90

01:38:40.180 Do we,

01:38:40.500 uh,

01:38:40.800 do we have five?

01:38:41.480 Obama didn't,

01:38:42.540 he,

01:38:42.740 he was against gay marriage the whole time he was in office.

01:38:45.700 So if he turned out to be,

01:38:47.380 no,

01:38:47.400 no,

01:38:47.740 2012,

01:38:48.300 2012,

01:38:48.580 he changed his mind.

01:38:49.880 Oh,

01:38:50.040 because probably because Larry Sinclair came out in 2008,

01:38:54.080 like right after his election.

01:38:55.240 So he was like,

01:38:58.180 he's like,

01:38:58.480 I'm not,

01:38:59.000 I'm not bigoted. 0.99

01:38:59.620 I fucking, 1.00

01:39:00.100 I do suck my dick. 1.00

01:39:01.540 He got, 1.00

01:39:02.180 he got,

01:39:02.980 he got twerked into a corner. 1.00

01:39:04.340 That would be the greatest like flip ever is he goes from like a gay marriage should be legal to I am a faggot. 1.00

01:39:10.140 Like I actually get my dits. 1.00

01:39:11.400 No,

01:39:11.720 no,

01:39:11.820 no,

01:39:11.900 no.

01:39:12.040 He,

01:39:12.380 he,

01:39:12.480 he doesn't just go from like, 0.98

01:39:13.860 I hate gays. 1.00

01:39:14.580 He goes from, 1.00

01:39:15.040 I hate gays to I am gay. 0.99

01:39:17.040 And I'm also married to a dude. 1.00

01:39:18.680 And I've been married to a dude this entire time. 0.99

01:39:21.520 And I hated gays when I was gay. 1.00

01:39:24.380 Domino bitches. 1.00

01:39:27.640 By the way, 0.99

01:39:29.540 by the way,

01:39:29.880 I just looked it up over 30,000 views of my interview with Luke already.

01:39:35.200 Wow.

01:39:35.520 Yeah.

01:39:36.340 How crazy is that?

01:39:36.840 That's actually a good spot to start doing some. 1.00

01:39:39.600 This guy just fucking plugs. 0.99

01:39:41.900 Yeah, 1.00

01:39:42.160 do some plugs.

01:39:43.740 Yeah.

01:39:44.580 If you are.

01:39:45.620 All right. 0.94

01:39:45.840 So forget about the fucking we are change video with Larry Sinclair over on YouTube because we had to play it super safe. 0.94

01:39:53.280 That's there's an hour on YouTube. 0.90

01:39:54.580 Go straight to rumble right now and look up the we are change all one word.

01:39:58.660 We are change. 0.97

01:39:59.620 It's the Larry Sinclair interview and we go fucking hard in the paint. 0.98

01:40:03.560 And it is so, 0.98

01:40:04.500 so much fun.

01:40:05.340 When he, 1.00

01:40:05.940 when he described Barack Obama as a pencil dick, 1.00

01:40:08.900 I shit you not. 1.00

01:40:09.640 I fucking fist pump in the air. 1.00

01:40:11.220 I was like, 1.00

01:40:11.540 this is the greatest fucking moment of my podcasting life. 0.99

01:40:15.180 Also, 0.99

01:40:15.680 I've had on Tom Luongo and Max Blumenthal and Dave Smith on Liberty Lockdown over the past week.

01:40:21.340 So subscribe there and follow me on Twitter at Liberty Lock pod.

01:40:23.740 I have 84 paying subscribers.

01:40:26.180 I will follow back 16 more.

01:40:27.340 So you got,

01:40:27.980 you got like a couple of days,

01:40:29.680 a couple of days.

01:40:30.380 Thank you.

01:40:30.760 Oh yeah.

01:40:31.880 Gerard,

01:40:32.320 you want to give your plugs,

01:40:32.980 man?

01:40:33.720 Yeah.

01:40:34.100 Check me out.

01:40:34.920 Slick and Thick on gas digital.com every Monday and Saturday,

01:40:38.420 2 PM with the great.

01:40:39.680 Hey Gerard,

01:40:40.140 why are you on gas digital and we're not? 0.99

01:40:41.660 What the fuck bro? 1.00

01:40:43.480 Yeah, 1.00

01:40:43.720 we're,

01:40:43.880 we're actually banned.

01:40:45.020 It's crazy.

01:40:45.580 I don't know.

01:40:46.300 I don't,

01:40:46.560 I don't know.

01:40:47.300 Have you, 0.99

01:40:47.680 who do I got to suck? 1.00

01:40:48.800 Did you hear we got banned? 0.99

01:40:49.780 Huh?

01:40:50.380 Did you hear that we got banned from gas digital?

01:40:51.740 Why'd you get banned?

01:40:52.700 Oh my God.

01:40:53.620 You know,

01:40:53.860 I'm actually kind of shocked that you guys are right up gas digital's alley.

01:40:57.260 I'm kind of shocked.

01:40:57.460 You know who Mark random is,

01:40:58.660 right?

01:40:59.260 No.

01:41:00.040 Oh,

01:41:00.480 well,

01:41:01.460 that's the best answer.

01:41:04.200 Yeah.

01:41:04.460 I love that.

01:41:05.180 We got to remember,

01:41:05.860 man,

01:41:06.040 me,

01:41:06.260 me and Mickey are down in Florida.

01:41:07.800 So we're like,

01:41:08.460 that's true.

01:41:08.920 We're,

01:41:09.400 we love the gas digital guys,

01:41:10.920 but we're like gas digital adjacent.

01:41:12.740 Oh,

01:41:12.940 wait,

01:41:13.080 wait,

01:41:13.260 wait.

01:41:13.340 So you're in Florida and that's the whole reason that they told us that they didn't want

01:41:17.140 to bring us on is that we're not in New York city.

01:41:19.460 Maybe,

01:41:19.820 maybe,

01:41:20.220 honestly, 0.99

01:41:21.040 maybe because we've been a pain in the ass for them to produce. 0.99

01:41:23.400 I don't know. 0.99

01:41:24.480 Okay.

01:41:25.240 Oh,

01:41:25.400 maybe we ruined it for it.

01:41:27.140 But we got banned because Mark random.

01:41:29.100 Also, 1.00

01:41:29.740 Bisping is in fucking London. 1.00

01:41:31.520 So. 1.00

01:41:32.280 Yeah,

01:41:32.460 they don't.

01:41:32.920 Yeah.

01:41:33.640 Yeah.

01:41:33.860 They just hate us.

01:41:34.440 It's okay.

01:41:34.780 We do.

01:41:35.500 We,

01:41:35.700 we also have an idea of why is that Lewis just really likes MMA.

01:41:40.120 And so like any MMA guys that he's just like,

01:41:42.140 I'm just going to have them on because like,

01:41:43.240 it just gets me into the MMA side of like podcasting and like touch this.

01:41:47.100 So I was like that.

01:41:48.200 I think that's another big reason why.

01:41:49.760 I think we're also miscalculating.

01:41:51.360 I mean,

01:41:51.600 you're talking about Mickey Gall,

01:41:53.100 the guy who beat up CM Punk,

01:41:54.660 UFC fighter.

01:41:55.580 I think it was like three and one UFC.

01:41:57.140 And you're talking about Gerard Michaels,

01:41:58.160 who apparently has a huge resume that we didn't even know about.

01:42:00.880 We had no clue who this guy was.

01:42:02.400 Yeah.

01:42:02.560 Yeah.

01:42:02.860 Thanks for that.

01:42:03.760 Yeah. 1.00

01:42:03.820 We're just idiots. 1.00

01:42:06.860 Thanks for that. 1.00

01:42:07.940 Yeah.

01:42:08.620 Cool.

01:42:09.040 Appreciate you.

01:42:09.540 But no,

01:42:09.880 no,

01:42:10.000 it's true.

01:42:10.540 You know,

01:42:11.020 again,

01:42:11.500 I don't blame anybody,

01:42:12.440 man. 0.99

01:42:12.500 I was shadow banned to the fucking teeth. 1.00

01:42:14.480 So, 1.00

01:42:15.100 you know,

01:42:15.440 I,

01:42:15.800 but like,

01:42:16.440 you know,

01:42:16.600 I directed mafia States of America,

01:42:18.300 Chaz,

01:42:18.580 Palminteri,

01:42:19.240 Sammy,

01:42:19.780 Bulger,

01:42:20.100 nobody knows that.

01:42:21.160 It's my own fault. 0.99

01:42:21.900 I'm a shitty self promoter. 0.94

01:42:23.320 I don't like it. 0.96

01:42:24.360 You don't know who Mark random is. 1.00

01:42:25.500 So you're ignorant too. 0.99

01:42:27.460 I never claimed I wasn't. 1.00

01:42:30.520 So wait,

01:42:31.160 Mark,

01:42:31.360 Mark random shouted us out on,

01:42:32.980 on a podcast in the worst way possible.

01:42:36.760 Just like,

01:42:37.620 yeah.

01:42:37.980 And he got,

01:42:38.620 he got his band for a year.

01:42:40.060 And Lewis at that moment said,

01:42:41.920 no,

01:42:42.200 he was like,

01:42:42.600 stop random.

01:42:43.220 And he was like,

01:42:43.980 tower.

01:42:44.280 He said,

01:42:45.100 tower gang is banned for a year.

01:42:46.400 And he also bleep tower gang from the show.

01:42:49.740 And so like on the,

01:42:51.160 on the guest digital side,

01:42:52.160 it wasn't bleeped,

01:42:52.900 but it on the,

01:42:53.880 on the YouTube version are we,

01:42:55.640 they bleeped out our name every time.

01:42:57.200 It was really funny.

01:42:57.660 No free shout outs,

01:42:58.280 bro.

01:42:58.640 Yeah.

01:42:59.100 He was like,

01:42:59.700 I'm not,

01:43:00.040 not only will we never get on,

01:43:01.800 but we also can't even get a plug.

01:43:04.240 It's brutal.

01:43:05.940 No free shout outs,

01:43:07.000 baby.

01:43:07.140 I also work with them.

01:43:08.320 So it's very,

01:43:08.860 yeah.

01:43:09.860 Oh yeah.

01:43:10.480 And top works for them.

01:43:11.280 I forgot about that.

01:43:12.000 He's a partner.

01:43:13.660 They're business partners.

01:43:14.960 Yeah.

01:43:15.180 So,

01:43:15.540 yeah.

01:43:16.100 Anyway,

01:43:16.340 I'm going to be in a Kansas city performing on Friday.

01:43:19.420 I'm going to be in Grand Rapids on Saturday.

01:43:21.500 If anybody's out there,

01:43:22.320 come check us out.

01:43:23.300 Yeah.

01:43:23.660 And then I got a new show,

01:43:25.020 which I'm really excited about.

01:43:26.580 It's me,

01:43:26.920 Mickey and Candace Warbeck,

01:43:29.100 formerly known as Eva Lovia.

01:43:31.200 We're going over the most canceled people and canceled videos called canceled weekly.

01:43:35.260 And that starts in two weeks.

01:43:36.460 Really excited about that one.

01:43:37.780 So never follow me on all the stuff.

01:43:40.220 Gerard,

01:43:40.540 Gerard,

01:43:40.860 DGAF.

01:43:42.000 That'd be cool.

01:43:43.600 Do that.

01:43:44.760 Yeah.

01:43:45.700 Toe.

01:43:46.660 No, 1.00

01:43:47.100 fuck toe. 1.00

01:43:47.500 Top. 1.00

01:43:48.300 You can catch me at Top Lobster on Twitter.

01:43:50.700 Follow me there.

01:43:51.460 Top Lobster everywhere else.

01:43:52.840 TopLobster.com.

01:43:53.880 MerchEngine.com.

01:43:56.140 And I do my show,

01:43:57.520 the Top Lobster show.

01:43:58.200 I actually just did another recent episode where I interviewed my five-year-old daughter

01:44:01.820 and I was talking to her about the Nephilim and the fallen angels and the Garden of Eden. 0.99

01:44:06.820 And it was very interesting to sit there with a little child and completely blow their fucking mind about insane stuff. 0.98

01:44:12.460 So I think I want to keep doing that. 0.99

01:44:14.900 Pick a conspiracy and just talk to my daughter about it and see what she said. 0.99

01:44:18.820 I love that you're just going to turn your five-year-old into a lunatic. 0.98

01:44:22.560 No, 1.00

01:44:22.760 no,

01:44:22.980 I'm not going to tell her like the earth is flat.

01:44:25.440 I'm going to present her.

01:44:26.780 You'll be like,

01:44:27.100 okay,

01:44:27.640 okay,

01:44:27.900 this week we're talking about Epstein's Island.

01:44:31.840 This is going to be a rough one,

01:44:32.800 okay?

01:44:34.580 In fairness,

01:44:35.500 his daughter's only seven years younger than Mary when she got pregnant by, 0.52

01:44:38.880 you know,

01:44:39.280 spirit jizz.

01:44:40.460 Whoa.

01:44:40.580 This is true.

01:44:41.540 She was 12?

01:44:43.280 12,

01:44:43.740 13.

01:44:44.600 Oof. 1.00

01:44:45.480 What a bunch of fucking, 1.00

01:44:47.000 God's a pedophile? 1.00

01:44:48.120 I was going to say that, 0.98

01:44:49.200 yeah.

01:44:50.360 If God can do it,

01:44:51.380 why can't I?

01:44:51.780 God is or the German soldier Pantara. 0.78

01:44:53.980 I'm not a pedophile.

01:44:54.920 I'm God-like. 0.61

01:44:58.700 Pedophile is next to godliness.

01:45:01.520 That's what they say. 0.67

01:45:02.940 It's cleanliness and pedophilia.

01:45:05.560 Right next to Godly.

01:45:07.380 We're all made in his image.

01:45:09.240 What were you saying,

01:45:09.960 Tep?

01:45:10.860 Nothing.

01:45:11.360 Go ahead,

01:45:11.700 Cole.

01:45:11.880 Where are you going to be at?

01:45:13.480 Oh, 1.00

01:45:13.720 I'm right here at my fucking house. 1.00

01:45:15.440 No, 1.00

01:45:15.640 FatcommyDave on Twitter.

01:45:16.700 You can follow me there.

01:45:17.480 Cole,

01:45:17.740 Cole,

01:45:17.980 I think you need to become a stand-up comic.

01:45:19.800 You're the only one that's jovial enough

01:45:22.080 that I feel like that's what you ought to be doing.

01:45:23.480 I think after looking at our buddy Bert,

01:45:26.580 Anarcho Bert,

01:45:28.480 not Bert Kreischer,

01:45:29.380 I wish.

01:45:29.840 He's our buddy. 1.00

01:45:30.400 Shut the fuck up. 1.00

01:45:31.080 Yeah, 1.00

01:45:31.380 we did mess with him.

01:45:31.940 We're having Bert on the show soon,

01:45:33.580 guys.

01:45:34.800 If you didn't know,

01:45:35.620 we were this close to getting Bert Kreischer

01:45:37.240 to come on the show,

01:45:37.820 and I think he watched one episode,

01:45:39.700 or one of his interns probably watched it.

01:45:41.800 It was like,

01:45:42.180 hey man,

01:45:42.460 you probably shouldn't do this.

01:45:43.660 He did agree on Twitter publicly,

01:45:45.460 and he did message with Clint,

01:45:47.540 multiple times.

01:45:49.040 And he still follows me,

01:45:50.200 for the record.

01:45:50.660 When we talked about that sweet spot, 0.99

01:45:52.540 that cocaine fucking whiskey sweet spot, 0.99

01:45:55.300 yeah, 1.00

01:45:55.580 you're going to have to catch somebody.

01:45:56.140 We hit him right there.

01:45:57.480 On the way up,

01:45:58.180 or somebody on the way,

01:45:59.000 you know who would do your show?

01:46:00.040 Roseanne Barr would do your show. 1.00

01:46:01.320 You should have been barred.

01:46:01.780 That would be so good.

01:46:03.080 Please put us in contact.

01:46:04.400 I love Roseanne Barr.

01:46:04.880 My homie Anomaly went out to Texas

01:46:07.340 and interviewed with her live.

01:46:09.000 I was like, 0.99

01:46:09.240 this is fucking awesome. 0.98

01:46:10.620 Oh, 0.98

01:46:10.840 and by the way,

01:46:11.440 for coming up,

01:46:12.300 we're having,

01:46:13.080 next week is,

01:46:15.440 well,

01:46:15.640 we're trying to get Adam Krigler on.

01:46:17.900 We're thinking about Owen Benjamin

01:46:19.020 coming on again soon.

01:46:20.280 We just got to reach out to him,

01:46:21.220 and he'll probably.

01:46:21.560 Jake Shields said he'll come on whenever,

01:46:23.280 so we have no schedule.

01:46:25.260 All these guys have said yes.

01:46:28.720 Yeah,

01:46:28.920 we have lots of A-list options,

01:46:30.180 but we have none of them booked,

01:46:31.520 and that's how we do things.

01:46:33.500 Exactly.

01:46:34.180 Might ask him the day before.

01:46:35.480 Toad,

01:46:35.820 where are you at?

01:46:36.400 Tower Gang Toad on Twitter.

01:46:38.020 Follow the Tower Gang pod everywhere.

01:46:40.340 YouTube,

01:46:40.880 Rumble Odyssey.

01:46:41.640 Go sign up for the locals

01:46:42.660 and throw us some support.

01:46:44.560 Towergang.locals.com,

01:46:45.980 and I am the host of Better Off Dead,

01:46:47.880 and I'm doing another couple of those episodes

01:46:50.360 in a little while.

01:46:52.300 Right.

01:46:52.960 Hell yeah.

01:46:53.340 Guys,

01:46:53.580 thank you again for joining us.

01:46:55.660 It's been a beautiful Wednesday.

01:46:57.460 Gerard, 0.98

01:46:57.880 thank you for fucking taking the time out. 0.99

01:46:59.840 Yeah, man. 0.97

01:47:01.140 My pleasure, guys.

01:47:02.040 This was great.

01:47:02.620 I'm a big fan of your guys, man. 0.98

01:47:03.920 Tower Gang To The Fucking Moon. 0.95

01:47:05.300 You guys are great. 0.99

01:47:06.000 Free speech, man.

01:47:07.020 You guys are on.

01:47:07.660 By the way,

01:47:08.380 by the way,

01:47:08.760 tell Mickey Gall 0.99

01:47:10.160 that I could fucking, 1.00

01:47:10.960 I could just beat the fucking shit out of him. 1.00

01:47:13.380 Okay. 1.00

01:47:15.160 I'll let him know

01:47:15.900 that Stone Cold Steve Autism

01:47:17.480 thinks he can beat him up. 1.00

01:47:20.260 Damn. 1.00

01:47:20.780 He killed him. 1.00

01:47:22.220 All right,

01:47:22.500 yo,

01:47:22.640 we're out, man. 1.00

01:47:23.240 That's my shit. 1.00

01:47:24.320 That's my shit, right? 1.00

01:47:25.040 Tower Power Hour slut. 1.00

01:47:26.740 Tower Power Hour bitch. 1.00

01:47:28.380 No way, 1.00

01:47:28.920 Jose.

01:47:29.820 Liberty Lockdown. 1.00

01:47:31.060 Welcome to the Tower Power Hour bitch. 1.00

01:47:33.540 Reed. 1.00

01:47:36.140 Cole.

01:47:37.840 Top Lobster.

01:47:39.080 And Toad.

01:47:40.460 Tower Gang,

01:47:41.020 Tower Gang,

01:47:41.520 Tower Gang,

01:47:42.000 Tower Gang.

01:47:42.900 Tower Gang,

01:47:43.560 Tower Gang,

01:47:44.060 Tower Gang.

01:47:44.560 Liberty Lock is truth,

01:47:45.880 same with Lobster,

01:47:47.580 Cole,

01:47:47.840 and Jose.

01:47:48.920 Toad is sick,

01:47:49.880 no way, 0.75

01:47:50.400 Jose. 0.99

01:47:50.960 That's the Tower Power Hour slut. 1.00

01:47:52.500 They made Dave spit all his feys. 0.99

01:47:54.020 Tower Gang,

01:47:54.580 Tower Gang,

01:47:55.100 Tower Gang,

01:47:55.580 Tower Gang.

01:47:56.040 Tower Gang,

01:47:56.460 Tower Gang,

01:47:57.020 Tower Gang,

01:47:57.460 Tower Gang,

01:47:58.120 Tower Gang.

01:47:58.520 Tower Gang,

01:47:58.780 Tower Gang,

01:47:59.420 Tower Gang,

01:47:59.760 Tower Gang.

01:48:00.480 They speak courage.

01:48:01.420 You sped,

01:48:01.980 sped,

01:48:02.400 more than Rogan.

01:48:03.520 You fed,

01:48:04.100 you fed,

01:48:04.520 Truth Hoffman.

01:48:05.020 Whether Tim cash,

01:48:06.060 Hotep.

01:48:06.700 More offensive,

01:48:08.020 LOS.

01:48:08.780 No disrespect.

01:48:09.740 More offensive than LOS,

01:48:11.080 No disrespect.

01:48:12.080 Tavagang.

01:48:13.080 Tavagang.

01:48:14.080 Tavagang.

01:48:15.080 Tavagang.

01:48:16.080 Pay me, Dave.

01:48:17.080 All his fame.

01:48:18.080 Tavagang.

01:48:19.080 Tavagang.

01:48:20.080 Tavagang.

01:48:21.080 Tavagang.

01:48:22.080 Tavagang.

01:48:23.080 Tavagang. 0.97

01:48:24.080 It's so fucking hard to line up the syllables and all. 0.98

Tower Gang - September 07, 2023

Ep 141 - Semi-Cut w⧸ Gerard Michaels

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript