Tower Gang - Ep 154 - Piss Closet Denier

00:00:00.000 i fucking hate muslim

00:00:08.840 and now i'm fucking standing in front of her like i'm like i'm a squirt

00:00:12.140 i need to make fun of top for uh drinking uh soda with a straw out of a can

00:00:17.140 you know that when i explain to you but the north africa there were northern africans

00:00:20.400 dying

00:00:20.740 that's the most little bullshit i've ever seen

00:00:23.820 it's fucking wash your butthole 69 grandma

00:00:25.900 when i left they were just like sort of the bowling ball was just in on autopilot

00:00:30.980 i'm so glad that we got this interview with you now because please

00:00:34.220 i'm like this guy is so old

00:00:36.920 like

00:00:39.740 like three celebrities you know die is like gavin mcginnis died oh that sucks

00:00:55.900 it's tower again wednesday motherfuckers

00:01:00.980 what's up retards

00:01:05.040 i'm trying to start a cult here baby so i can only fit a third of my dick into toads

00:01:09.940 mussy

00:01:11.480 you want to kill me or you want to give me a bonus i don't know

00:01:15.580 when i say fuck the jews it means i'm horny

00:01:18.620 woe is me i'm retarded

00:01:21.280 have you guys ever had the mythical where they put the whole thing in and then do that shit where they

00:01:25.180 oh

00:01:25.560 the three of you had a threesome of some kind

00:01:29.300 i was watching it and jerking off

00:01:32.280 he was a 10 in real life

00:01:38.860 he's like a dead 8

00:01:40.340 louis you're like a brother to me

00:01:43.840 donald trump come on tower gang

00:01:45.580 tower gang is the most offensive podcast

00:01:48.480 fat dave fuck you man

00:01:50.400 it's not what this show is about

00:01:57.320 this shit is retarded

00:02:10.340 and now i'm fucking standing in front of her like i'm like i'm a square for some reason

00:02:28.780 like my elbows are up and i'm fucking in her way

00:02:30.980 i need to make fun of top for uh drinking uh soda with a straw out of a can

00:02:35.480 every fucking day

00:02:36.480 a long time

00:02:37.040 he's a fucking murderer

00:02:38.480 pussy

00:02:39.000 no so so wait this is like this is like that

00:02:42.360 that's the most little boy shit i've ever seen

00:02:44.620 north like i forget what the the name of the

00:02:48.180 the north atlantic slave trade but the north african there were northern african dying

00:02:52.240 welcome once again i had no idea when this intro was gonna end

00:02:56.560 way too many intros

00:02:58.860 this is ken russell the host of liberty lockdown as well as the best political show.com

00:03:03.680 the music is extraordinarily loud right now

00:03:05.780 we have cole who is apparently also a straw out of a cup drinking fucking homo

00:03:12.720 how does a faggot

00:03:13.640 just the fucking not a can

00:03:15.560 no gay it's still gay

00:03:17.000 drinking out of a straw is phallic you're homosexual

00:03:19.660 we got toad the host of better off dead he will not be with us for a long

00:03:22.840 why would you be so gay when you drink a beverage

00:03:24.560 enjoy enjoy oh look at him enjoying his beverage as well

00:03:28.440 we've got jose the host of no way jose jose got us on the fucking most handsome

00:03:32.860 little lad that's ever been top got carried away in his art with that clip that clip

00:03:36.220 situation and last but not least we got top lobster the host of top lobster.com as well

00:03:41.800 as merch engine get all of your hot merch items from him and i just want to give a special

00:03:46.720 shout out to our producer who uh man he is really just like quantum leap improved upon

00:03:54.000 crazy what we've expected throughout our entire tenure he's just a real yeah really good at what

00:03:58.980 yeah a little bit we will not name him

00:04:00.580 no ever he doesn't have a name project cheney.com

00:04:04.100 dick cheney is our producer now actually

00:04:07.520 so two things one that's it's so fucking gay it's totally different whenever it's out of just

00:04:13.560 you know a regular fucking styrofoam than than a fucking can

00:04:17.020 why does it stay what why is it why is it different

00:04:18.640 it's totally it's like a can

00:04:20.160 it's like classier with the can

00:04:22.460 there's something that's like white trash and like childish about the styrofoam cup with the fucking uh

00:04:27.620 yeah with the straw i'm sorry if i have to choose one of the two i think they're both a little bit uh

00:04:32.580 a little a little effeminate but uh tops is less so and you could even make a case that some like

00:04:37.900 latin flair bullshit you know although i was uh it was funny because when i was watching the intro

00:04:43.580 one of the eight of them that we just had uh top looks way more jewish whenever he had the buzz cut

00:04:50.500 i don't know if you go back and look at it i don't know if his nose looks bigger because his hair

00:04:54.840 like the difference in the hair his nose looks bigger and pointier he looks way more jewish and i was

00:04:59.920 like like idf different guy yeah like 100 hardcore jew like one of the cool like the

00:05:04.640 cool and like the not in a moral way but cool jews you know best christian podcast wow you

00:05:11.280 tuned it into the wrong place drunken hell yeah that's all right well it's a little little pause

00:05:17.020 i mean what are we doing here fellas oh i'm a little i'm just chilling i'm a muscle relaxer right now

00:05:21.700 dude i've been i i took two margaritas down tonight i'm feeling good

00:05:26.360 give some head you know how it is guys you see what's going on right now you know relax you see

00:05:31.380 do you see how you guys are bombing right now yeah i'm gonna tell you why because i've said nothing

00:05:35.920 for five minutes okay and you're watching me you're all watching my reaction to whatever you're saying

00:05:42.120 and i don't give a fuck i'm showing you this is the most manly thing you can do i completely

00:05:46.760 psychologically fucked you i was watching you especially cole you were confused you're like

00:05:52.020 what's going on right now this guy's just sitting there sipping soda five minutes so

00:05:55.800 you're gonna piss like a motherfucker you guys were terrible you guys were terrible as soon as i

00:06:01.420 stopped talking he hasn't spoken the entire show i don't know go watch the show i clearly pre-planned

00:06:07.220 this i clearly pre-planned this bit in order to be displeased but the show pre-top is not a that's

00:06:14.200 not like an accurate reference because you had nick ashley so if you if it was i wonder and we were

00:06:20.160 good to spite him are you sure you know contrary contrary to to top's declarations of masculinity

00:06:27.340 drinking a straw in a can uh i think it's actually quite gay but i think it's just the hypocrisy that

00:06:32.920 offends me about cole as he's not even i said out of a can i was very specific look look cole cole

00:06:38.860 cole take the lid off of the styrofoam cup it's you don't take the lid off the styrofoam cup that's

00:06:44.400 the point of the styrofoam cup is to have the lid why why why so it doesn't spill the fuck out

00:06:49.340 well why is it there though also you can't drink it listen like it's like a beverage are you

00:06:54.960 drinking out of that first off because like it's just are you drinking okay all right maybe there's

00:07:00.140 a sweet tote if you were if you were to remove the lid it would just explode everywhere no

00:07:04.520 it's actually very good this is a good thing it's not that it would explode there we're we're uh now

00:07:09.480 doing this like is it gay but for cups we're like so this this kind of a cup he thinks you you drink

00:07:15.240 from it it's not a cup it's a can it's a can whatever yeah this kind of a cup it's a cup

00:07:19.640 it's a cup no it's a can that's very different you don't gaslight me you motherfuckers what's the

00:07:26.340 difference between a cup and a can other than this metallic lid oh it's got a tiny little it's got a

00:07:31.460 tiny little top on its on its cup see what makes you what makes you confused about this not being a

00:07:36.860 cup is that like it's been manufactured to be closed but it originally had to be some sort of a cup

00:07:41.360 right cool when you know it was a cylinder it was just in there yeah you know what a cup is a

00:07:47.140 cylinder fucking i don't know no i don't know they might put the uh i don't know how they

00:07:51.540 you know what a pussy is three inches from a butthole and a cylinder i might it's basically the same

00:08:00.300 thing wait wait so is a woman just a cup is she just a cup you just need to flip her upside down

00:08:07.540 pour some shit to be specific is three cups she's more like actually it's like seven or eight cups

00:08:13.120 actually really if you're counting all of them like yeah three cups that you can fill with you

00:08:17.980 know whatever you want and then and then two cups up top so if you're gonna drink out of a straw you

00:08:24.180 should just uh have your beverage in a man's asshole and use the straw that way and drink it out of the

00:08:28.720 guy's ass to backtrack cool just go just go full gay your issue your issue now lies with me that you

00:08:35.180 believe this is not a cup i think that's where this is coming from because you're like oh you you drink

00:08:40.060 from a cup no because like the whole like it's just you crack the jewish shit ever define a cup

00:08:46.500 for me oh you know you know what a straw might be like the least gay thing that you can do because

00:08:52.600 it's almost like sucking on a titty in a way you're like you're really reaching bud he's really

00:08:57.500 trying this is obviously from a man who has never sucked a titty it doesn't feel like that at all

00:09:01.920 what are you talking about how many people does this really bother honestly until until uh until

00:09:07.000 it was pointed out to me i didn't bother me now that i didn't point it out to me i didn't think about

00:09:11.000 it at all i don't think i want to get back to uh to toad thinking that sucking tits is like

00:09:17.140 sucking on a straw i would love and that's not at all what it's like no explain explain how it is

00:09:24.420 this is where the pleasure comes from

00:09:25.860 i'm gonna i'm gonna i'm gonna bring next time i see toad i'm gonna bring uh more narrow cylinder

00:09:35.800 than a hole at the end of it i'm gonna bring my son's like nipple for his like bottles next time

00:09:41.060 i see toad just be like toad here you go this is what it's like it's literally just like you just

00:09:44.900 take this put it in your mouth and that's exactly it's next time we see toad guys now's a good time

00:09:50.640 to have a all right everybody line up business meeting january 26th to the 28th we're gonna be

00:09:58.260 in the oh that's what it is okay are we it is yeah we're going to the lp georgia convention i thought

00:10:02.980 that was just like a thing we were saying i didn't think we were actually gonna do it we we were

00:10:07.120 surprised when they sent us money and then we were like we can still get away with this right

00:10:11.360 uh guys i will be there as long as the money they've sent us is adequate to get me flown there

00:10:16.200 if it's not then they're fucking out of luck i'm not okay but here's the richest motherfucker on here

00:10:20.400 it's like i'm not coming out of pocket to go do some lp event you out of your fucking mind no you're

00:10:24.960 coming out of pocket to come see us there's one thing i should mention you almost ran for president

00:10:30.180 you dumbass i i am running for president we're forgetting the guy the top quarter that is running

00:10:35.040 for president that's in the debates in there that'd be really funny if he didn't show up too

00:10:39.180 i'm pulling higher than toad and i'm not running well there's well there's one shut up we're talking

00:10:44.420 about you there's one real real problem with this potential problem with this and it's that

00:10:48.940 i don't remember which bank account i actually had uh connected to the cash are you embezzling

00:10:54.340 you scumbag so it's no so it might definitely bet that money so i'm not giving me fucking money or

00:11:00.140 i'm not going no you remember do you remember do you remember when like recently how i talked about i

00:11:05.800 had that bank account that was frozen that has like there's no way and and i might yeah

00:11:10.640 there's no way there's a chance you owe us two thousand dollars there's a chance that it's in

00:11:16.220 that account it was uh fifteen hundred no it was two thousand dollars no it was not it was fifteen

00:11:20.420 hundred it was twenty five hundred i have very clearly actually you might be right it was twenty

00:11:24.460 five hundred dollars it was five thousand dollars

00:11:27.240 you owe us each one thousand dollars six million you think i'd leave my house for less than a

00:11:35.080 thousand dollars i would get out of bed for less than eight hundred thousand dollars

00:11:39.300 oh frozen tones back because because he's he's been caught embezzling money and now he's frozen

00:11:47.180 just like our assets you piece of shit see we have tact we know six million would have been too and too

00:11:53.140 far to bring this joke okay do you guys ever go on a podcast and confess to embezzling money

00:11:58.540 tell the type of nigga to go on a podcast you committed a felony you piece of shit and i'm not

00:12:06.660 gonna let this go you owe me a thousand dollars i got you you fucking homo all right uh i gotta i gotta

00:12:11.920 open this up actually because uh josie was on the show that i did with luke yesterday and she told

00:12:16.020 me a story that is so perfect for our show that i've got to tell it so uh josie did a little bit of

00:12:21.760 actressing back in the day and uh what kind of actressing is that what we're calling it these

00:12:26.700 days like casting couch is that what you're talking about because i've seen i've seen those photos

00:12:30.860 on the pole actressing obviously but uh no she was she was in uh you guys ever seen black mass by

00:12:36.360 johnny depp yeah yeah okay i'm from i'm from boston you know that that that really is not relevant

00:12:41.500 that's not relevant to whether or not you've seen the movie from fucking boston it's i mean

00:12:44.700 fucking movie about fucking fucking whitey fucking whitey bulger kid yeah of course i've seen that

00:12:50.420 one toad personality per episode i want embezzlement toad not i'm frozen i'm frozen

00:13:00.320 boston toad now it was snowing up here earlier you know it's the worst kind all right so so anyways

00:13:05.720 she was uh she was a it was like her one speaking line but anyway she was check out check this out

00:13:11.640 so she's never oh sorry she's never had a speaking line in any movies or shows as far as i know uh but

00:13:19.520 she has been what's it called uh uh like background no background whatever it's called

00:13:24.740 extra dancer she's been extras in like some some big movies so um anyways this one this one just

00:13:30.640 blows my mind she there was a busing uh story in black mass and busing happened i think it was in

00:13:37.020 the 60s they started to bus the black kids into the white uh school areas and and her job as as an

00:13:42.820 extra was to shout the n-word at the bus as they drove black people in no it wasn't

00:13:48.040 yes yes so josie josie almost has like her her most famous moment in life was her just shouting

00:13:56.840 the n-word at black kids on a school bus here's the thing though now i'm starting to think that

00:14:00.460 she's a little she's like i was yelling ginger but i'm dyslexic i was yelling at myself you were in

00:14:07.240 my house when we were doing a live tower gang and it never thought like never came across your brain

00:14:11.580 it's women dude just now now we now we know the loophole just asked her to quote her line from her

00:14:16.820 movie as soon as she told me this story i was like i have i have to you know i have that's not

00:14:23.820 tower wait wait wait wait clint wait so so she yells that in nigger mass

00:14:28.660 i don't get the joke but yes black because it's black mass and he's just making the obvious black

00:14:35.580 black equals nigger he's not even really trying to finesse his words he's just jamming them

00:14:40.640 together like this is how dare you to say let me ask here's here's a theoretical is it is it better

00:14:49.440 or worse like we say the word nigger for free we say it at great detrimental uh social cost to us

00:14:56.000 right um she got comes at the cost of my humanity as well but yeah yeah she got paid to do it which

00:15:02.060 one is worse i think what we do is more noble yeah i feel like it's it's brave what she did is

00:15:08.580 like selling out yeah almost yeah i don't like it yeah you're gonna know it's it's beating the system

00:15:13.740 is what she was doing you're gonna pay get paid money for that like come on man plus but it's a

00:15:17.960 it's about the art cole what's even funnier this was her only speaking line in her acting career

00:15:24.440 inward do you know how fucking awesome that there has to be i love that this is true i would have

00:15:31.960 gotten oh my card off the inward and they cut the line from the movie at the last because i wish

00:15:37.760 because then she would have an imdb and then the imd would be would be like famous lines and

00:15:42.500 like that would have been her title in the credits it would have been fucking phenomenal god

00:15:56.020 wait how old was she be at that time she was uh 15

00:16:00.140 oh she was i'm just cool that's cool oh that's even yeah that's another element i'm just trying to

00:16:06.640 be polite and i could hurry oh damn it i was i was like man that's like or some shit i don't know

00:16:10.620 um here's the thing if you if you get a 15 year old and you're gonna pay her as an extra to shout

00:16:15.140 the n-word you gotta pay like triple or like four times because like no they already do it just give

00:16:20.820 them like a meal like just be like you get starbucks for today like they're like all right dude that's

00:16:26.200 what they did for me i didn't realize money was an option i'm an extra in uh celtic pride and paul blart

00:16:30.800 mall cop and they just you are not an extra in paul blart mall cop no toad isn't toad is extra in

00:16:37.460 life right now okay he's the guy that's nigger in life and he shows up here every week and does it

00:16:43.860 dude someone he's a non-speaking npc someone's gonna find it someone's gonna find paul blart mall cop

00:16:49.560 and it's actually it's on netflix right now i know and tell me if you don't find it at that like

00:16:53.940 that i care about that more like if you're like i went frame by frame and he wasn't in there

00:16:57.860 oh he was lying that's so fucking great he probably is lying but give his full name so

00:17:02.200 people can find him no stop watching this no like go watch paul benzo's alive congrats benzo

00:17:10.220 i thought she already does disgusting things daily for starbucks dude they don't credit the extras but

00:17:14.840 like uh some of my co-workers and i oh how convenient i worked in bowling uh burlington bowling i worked in

00:17:22.340 burlington mass at the time we went to the burlington mall for lunch we didn't even realize they were

00:17:26.060 shooting the movie and we just like walked into that scene basically and it's like hey you guys

00:17:29.820 want to be extras we'll give you sandwiches it was kind of you know what this is you know what's

00:17:34.060 crazy because i just saw there was a seinfeld episode where uh kramer became a extra in a woody

00:17:38.700 allen movie i think toad just thinks he lives in seinfeld i think toad watches seinfeld episodes

00:17:44.940 because there was something else that came up before where it was another seinfeld episode type of

00:17:49.380 thing and he was like yeah that happened to me i think i think he just really likes seinfeld and then

00:17:54.140 he just thinks it happened the ideas are being born by his subconscious and he's not even consciously

00:17:59.180 like compulsively lying like no it's just watching can you imagine watching seinfeld and thinking to

00:18:04.220 yourself man i wish i got as much pussy as george costanza yeah i think i think that dude they got

00:18:10.860 so much george compared he was crazy i mean dude maybe episode is a new bit she's like all right see

00:18:17.100 you later and she's like leaving the and he's like he's like yeah she's like she she like uh she washes her

00:18:21.900 uh or like she brushed her teeth like with her left hand that's really fucking weird bye

00:18:25.820 bitch like that's something like what do you mean like you ever see you see you ever see his first

00:18:29.260 wife though when when he started dating her when she was 17 and he was oh yeah yeah that's the only

00:18:38.060 thing clint took from seinfeld's life the good the good old days when you can get away with statutory

00:18:42.940 rape maybe maybe maybe um toad just moved to new york and then he would just be george costanza

00:18:48.940 and then maybe he could start getting some pussy that way like whatever maybe new york

00:18:52.540 bitches are just really fucking like i don't know easy easy low standards yeah he worked for the

00:18:58.140 yankees though you know toe doesn't even not at first fbi agent you know no you could the way the

00:19:02.860 way that he got the job at the yankees is by doing the opposite of everything that he would have done

00:19:06.700 otherwise and he a bad mouthed steinbrenner to his face and steinbrenner was like hire this man

00:19:11.420 so he watches so much seinfeld it's in his he thinks he thinks in seinfeld he answers you in

00:19:16.940 seinfeld he does all the gifts all the gifts are seinfeld i don't even know what the fuck you type in

00:19:21.580 to get some of these like responses but they're very specific like jerry springer doing like a

00:19:26.060 weird shrug and then he gets something that pertains to the conversation i'm like jerry how'd you find

00:19:30.060 that jerry some weird mk ultra reject that is like my life yeah jerry springer dude it's weird like

00:19:37.420 he's an fbi agent clearly but he's also like the retard that the fbi entraps he's like he's like

00:19:43.020 he's like the duality of fbi he's he's patient x he's like he's our he's our masterpiece really did

00:19:48.780 you by the way did you see that there was a there was a big shooting at like unlv today like there

00:19:52.940 was like four shooters like like college yeah shooters wait four shooters it was something like

00:19:59.020 because i saw a thing i was i was in a group chat today and they were saying that one shooter low numbers

00:20:03.580 well one one one shooter got like killed and there was still another guy shooting and so they

00:20:08.620 were like you know how many we could get if we coordinated attack like i think we could get

00:20:12.620 like i think don't like almost don't talk about this in front of tell

00:20:19.180 that's the most fed posty shit i've ever heard

00:20:24.460 what's the record right now tell me what the record is can you imagine if the five of us really put our

00:20:29.100 minds to it what kind of what kind of catastrophe we could create all right let's bring some of this

00:20:34.220 right now where are we hitting where are we going are we going are we going i mean we got to have

00:20:38.780 an explosive for a distraction right right they don't use explosives enough you're right you haul

00:20:43.900 truck toad looks or uh top looks like he could probably go shop shop up some fertilizer from home

00:20:48.460 people let's if you had to bet if you had to bet and and all right so like like let's just play in

00:20:52.940 the future fast forward this is so fucked up uh the the tabloid reads tower gang in illinois

00:20:59.020 takes out what's that number oh um i mean i'm telling you five man group toad would

00:21:06.940 fuck it up somehow we're that in hold on we're in illinois do we do we factor in that

00:21:12.460 black people are people and so they count towards the number

00:21:15.340 oh man that is not easy math

00:21:22.060 three fists is not easy you know that's so i think they did that just because they could

00:21:26.140 confuse the black people when they were trying to add up like they're like okay if we all vote

00:21:29.420 together dude but three fifth what does i got a great idea so the the journalists are like getting

00:21:33.820 the updates as the as the crime is being detailed and he's like we're hearing uh early reports that

00:21:38.780 500 casualties uh correction 300 casualties

00:21:45.580 sorry we didn't do the math oh and then this guy oh yeah this shit was crazy and this guy was uh

00:21:51.100 what's the name john woo was it john woo john woo the dragon look that looks like john wick

00:21:56.380 when they're when they're coming for him so he survived and he's like oh they're trying to kill

00:22:00.060 him right yeah he's on he's like on like youtube or some shit like just being like hey go check out

00:22:05.980 like they did this uh stuff i worked for like the nsa or something like he said he worked for the

00:22:10.140 government wait this dude's still alive yeah i don't know so he's in the live chat on some news

00:22:15.980 shit and just saying like yo i'm alive they tried to kill me it's this i was like oh he's like he's

00:22:20.140 like look at he was like uh he said they're doing all this for israel he said they're killing me for

00:22:23.980 israel is what he says i swear to god you can i i was trying to find the tweet we have to keep this

00:22:28.860 guy alive james you that's sorry james you it's it's john woo that's how you know the whole the whole

00:22:35.820 bunch of doves got released right at the beginning it's a john woo movie uh so this was in arlington

00:22:41.820 virginia right the explosion happens and just doves everywhere and super slow it was in super

00:22:48.220 slow-mo and two asian guys are fighting each other just puts his plane wait this dude's still alive

00:22:54.060 you got to be fucking kidding me and he's just like where's he at what's he doing he survived the

00:22:57.420 blast he did a backflip off the the rocket launcher so i don't know if he's still but his his uh his

00:23:03.900 social media profile james woo or whatever it was was uh james you james you was commenting

00:23:11.660 under you're right it was comedy his wife did this but uh it was he was commenting under like

00:23:17.740 certain things and he was just saying like i'm alive he was like they've been trying to like

00:23:22.140 they've been uh on all social media he was like uh he was like schizo posting dude he was schizo

00:23:28.780 posting like i thought i sent y'all the the post it's it's hilarious dude it's it's all like it's all

00:23:35.020 gotta be a psyop it's also it's a complete the guy's on it and his name is like fuk you and people

00:23:40.780 don't figure it out like come on man but who blew up the house was it it was him right

00:23:45.260 no i don't know okay they i mean i thought we were about to do the the who the who gag

00:23:54.860 i remember a time i remember time where i would look at i would look at that video and i would like

00:23:59.340 think about it for like a day like i was like what does this mean what is the implications to our

00:24:04.540 political situation and how is this going to affect this and now i just see and i'm like immediately

00:24:09.340 hilarious and move on with my life i thought you were when you first i thought you're talking

00:24:12.620 about the who's on first abbott and costello video and you were like i had to think about

00:24:15.980 it for a whole day to figure out what was going on who is on first i don't i don't know

00:24:23.500 you really are like half black you idiot i don't know what's what's going on here

00:24:30.220 top makes a great a good point though actually because when i first saw that video i didn't even

00:24:34.940 stop to read i was just like i was like i was like oh i was like oh a house blew up it's somewhere

00:24:40.780 in america yeah who gives a shit happens i think that was uh i think that was uh who's the um nine

00:24:47.260 millimeter smg you know what i'm talking about on uh twitter he was the same thing he was like he was

00:24:51.980 like this thing didn't even like peak my interest he was like that's how crazy everything that's going

00:24:56.380 on is a house blew up during an fbi raid and i was just like dude whatever you're so desensitized it was

00:25:04.300 like like all right mass shooting here house blows up there here's a bunch of trannies and they

00:25:08.220 keep doing this cycle and it keeps escalating to the point where it's going to be like yo there's

00:25:12.300 literally like nephilim giants walking through the streets and you'll be like whatever i got like

00:25:16.780 it's like alien alien gang rapes entire school bus filled with children and we're like dude yeah

00:25:24.780 200 something like commercial airline passengers just disappear into a

00:25:28.460 like wormhole portal or something and nobody but that was like what 10 15 years ago yeah

00:25:34.300 the footage just like just started like going viral 2014 and no one gives a

00:25:38.460 fuck everyone's just like i couldn't care less everyone's all excited about it i'm like

00:25:42.540 for one i'm so jaded by like fat infiltration like ufo shit i'm like i don't know maybe it's real

00:25:48.060 maybe it's bullshit who fucking cares you know what really gets me going what really like gets my

00:25:53.340 dick hard these days it's not none of this kind of like high level government shit it's

00:25:57.820 shit like the i think we let's pull it up right now i got to see it the power closet

00:26:02.220 no man piss closet this is something that when i saw it i i man lost in thought spoke with my wife

00:26:08.540 about it what's going on in this this person's head what is this why do people have these it's

00:26:13.660 apparently a thing this bothers me but what the fuck is this jose dude this is way more oh piss closet

00:26:19.340 when i mean informed of this i had never ever heard of it and i still don't believe it's a

00:26:24.460 real thing go ahead because you guys are pathetic childless men so i'm sorry i don't know what a

00:26:31.580 piss closet is welcome to fatherhood i'm sorry i know it's a real thing because that dude that

00:26:37.740 pissed in the closet there he like you could tell like he's been pissing in that closet for a long time

00:26:43.180 right i i have not a closet trained a child that is true i think if you i honest to god if you're

00:26:48.380 like what happened to ray oh yeah that's that's definitely a piss you see a face like that which

00:26:55.340 by the way that's a meme that's a meme right away go ahead yeah is that me hey guys it's your boy josh

00:27:02.300 and today i'm going to show you my piss closet oh my god this guy sounds so baby oh my god

00:27:11.820 no that's not piss that's not pissed oh maybe that's his closet no no no here here's no no hold on

00:27:18.220 hold on pause it pause it what are you a piss closet denier no i'm saying that that's not him

00:27:24.300 pissing right now that's the name of the episode piss closet denier the quantity of that seems a

00:27:33.020 little too high to be actually it was the quantity and how clear it was this dude does not have clear

00:27:38.380 piss he's not drinking water enough like he's not like he's not hydrated if you have a piss closet you

00:27:44.780 have like like orange piss yeah you're drinking only like cokes and like i bet you now let jose

00:27:51.980 argue because you're saying it's not a thing is that what you're saying no i'm saying i'm saying

00:27:56.700 it is a thing i'm saying he was not pissing right there i'm just saying right there in the video where

00:28:01.340 you see the piss that's not piss just real quick it has to be pointed out there's a mother

00:28:05.260 fucking treadmill in that there's a treadmill in that closet could you please pull it back up

00:28:11.900 that's what i think of that mom i'm healthy at my weight his parents his parents are like like this

00:28:18.380 this fat no no no go back to the toes juxtaposed to the treadmill i love our producer trying to figure

00:28:26.860 this out by the way i sold my life so like here let's give him a goddamn treadmill so he'll actually

00:28:33.180 get off his fat ass and he pisses on it in the corner of his room i love wait no no stop go back

00:28:37.740 just go back to his face i'm sorry i honestly kind of makes the energy he has no wait don't play any

00:28:42.940 mute it mute it and just play his face yeah way too tooth like i don't trust people that are that

00:28:48.860 toothy when they talk he his whole the entire time you see his entire all right go back go back

00:28:54.940 back it up full grill while he's talking press play press play wait wait wait no i have something to say

00:29:02.860 hey guys it's your boy josh another decade no pussy

00:29:11.420 that's so fucking crazy

00:29:12.700 i'm not happy that this guy reminds me of me you shouldn't be happy about that you could change

00:29:20.300 that if you like is he here's not pissing on the treadmill toad

00:29:26.300 i sold it that's a treadmill bro no that is a treadmill but also is he in the closet here go go

00:29:32.140 play it to where it gets in wait wait go back look at his room i mean if you have a piss closet

00:29:36.460 why be in the closet what is adding gay to that really he's out of the closet no no no but because

00:29:41.260 look because look where the door is at like the door frame that is on his like his left he's he's

00:29:47.900 in the closet how does he even get in there to piss in the closet dude look that's where the door

00:29:53.180 frame is like this no we know he's homosexual it's just sticking out of the closet hell yeah oh yeah

00:30:01.580 hey okay i just want to say it is true whenever i finish pissing i do go oh yeah hell yeah

00:30:05.900 it's like that like instant relief that you have when you have to piss and like as soon as you start

00:30:15.500 it's like oh yeah no he did it at the end though he finished with the oh hell yeah yeah that's uh

00:30:21.180 that's more like that's more like whenever you get finished dumping whenever you take a

00:30:24.220 shit i don't know that like after like piss when it's been a while and like really where you're like

00:30:28.860 that's almost like that feeling slightly like after fucking you're like

00:30:31.900 whoo yeah this might be the same guy i don't do you ever remember the uh hey guys it's your boy

00:30:38.460 josh i got my piss gym over here especially if you have to run to like hey guys it's your boy

00:30:45.900 it's your boy i got his weights right here he pisses on the weights and he does better off dead right

00:30:51.260 after five million views a sexual thing that's there's no way that's a sexual thing toad if you

00:30:58.300 want to blow up just embrace your fucking debauchery hey boy hey guys it's your boy josh just just spent

00:31:04.700 ten thousand dollars betting on the coin flip for the super bowl guys check out my piss closet dude i

00:31:12.700 i want to say this might be the same guy i don't know if you remember that that video of the the mom

00:31:17.820 talking to her son while he's playing video games and he's shitting himself because he won't get up to

00:31:21.900 go take a shit i mean have you not have you heard this sound bite no oh yeah it's a great sound

00:31:26.380 by this this guy he's like he's like playing video games and she's like go take a shit he's like mom

00:31:32.380 no and she's like are you shitting yourself he's like uh it's but wait a minute though but he wasn't

00:31:39.260 even well you've heard of poop socking right nope no you're not familiar with the concept of poop

00:31:45.180 socking just say no we are not it's pooping in a sock and then fucking the girl with it no no no no

00:31:50.780 it's just pooping in a sock and it's it's a thing that gamers do when they're spending like way too

00:31:56.140 much time playing a video game they don't want to get up they shit in a sock at their desk the

00:32:00.140 logistics of that sound very hard yeah like that's a tight hole like you've got to like squat and hold

00:32:06.060 it open like a yeah dude yeah it's like is that like a like a tube sock like what's like what sock

00:32:10.780 would you use like i feel like it better be a tube sock because if it's a fucking ankle high you might

00:32:15.180 overflow it you're like you're like oh pinch it off it's just a handful it's just this one handful

00:32:25.740 then you got two you got two ankle socks so you just go one and then pinch it off then you got

00:32:30.060 your other one pinch it off no you know what you know what i think i want to talk about something

00:32:33.740 that's more realistic like i i don't know if you guys had this but i had this like we're talking about

00:32:37.820 the piss closet and now like the poop sock i had a booger wall when i was younger i did not have

00:32:43.180 it cool no dude i i was just talking about this beforehand i still pick my boogers and just flick

00:32:47.660 them on the floor i don't give a fuck i don't give a fucking fuck dude i'm so anal about cleanliness

00:32:55.180 i can't do it and dude the only like experience that i've had that's anywhere close to this is

00:32:59.820 my grandfather uh my dad's father his second wife she was this like i imagine your grandfather

00:33:06.140 was like three foot five go ahead no no no no everybody in my family is kind of tall he was like

00:33:10.860 average height yeah he was like average height uh no they're not he married this woman and she was

00:33:15.980 this hideous old tiny woman just horrible woman and her house like looked like a hoarder's house

00:33:23.020 it was disgusting it smelled so this better have to do with you get to it i'm not even i'm reading the

00:33:29.180 chat dude i don't care man she came down in a nightie no no no she she used to piss in a jar

00:33:40.300 that was what this is all for all this is for that yeah she was a shut-in the piss jar man well

00:33:46.220 but that but she would also go out into her lawn and piss in the lawn okay i i have i have a much

00:33:51.340 better story than this i have a much better story than this i had a like i pissed in the trash can for

00:33:55.580 like three months because uh no i i believe him too did you really so my parents tell the story

00:34:03.020 all the time so when i was young in a way so how do you like your kid i can't wrap my head around my

00:34:10.940 kid shitting in a trash can for three months and me no no no just what the is going on so so look at

00:34:18.700 quinn's face of disappointment so so when i no no no no no it makes sense you're you're misreading

00:34:23.900 my face i'm thrilled i'm thrilled that cole cole's sitting here for we're talking about this piss

00:34:27.980 closet for 10 minutes and it finally dawns on him oh yeah for three months of my life i pissed in a

00:34:33.100 trash can because i'm a piece of shit no i didn't shoot the trash can i don't think i should in the

00:34:38.220 trash i don't know i can't remember they said they would always say i i peed in there that's what they

00:34:43.020 they would say i peed because so what happened was but there are rumors of something darker going

00:34:46.940 at my at my aunt's house when i was like i was like five or six years old maybe whenever don't

00:34:55.180 don't tell him that part of the story they'll break his spirit whenever whenever if you catch him

00:34:59.260 peeing in the trash can do not disturb him he will kill another dog do not do it so so you know i think

00:35:05.260 it was whenever the first spider-man came out so uh so whenever the first spider-man came out

00:35:21.260 i don't know what year that was whenever the year that was that's when this happened yeah i was like

00:35:24.700 30 and you were four yeah yeah exactly the first uh one with toby mcguire toby mcguire

00:35:30.380 two thousand round so when i watched i watched it at my aunt's house and the spider scene when

00:35:35.420 he got bit scared the living shit out of me and i was scared of spiders from then on until now i

00:35:40.380 don't really don't like spiders but i used to be deathly afraid of spiders well one time i went to

00:35:44.780 go take a piss and on the toilet seat was a spider so from then on i was like i'm not pissing at the

00:35:51.100 toilet and so i pissed in the trash can for weeks months i don't know how long it happened but my mom

00:35:57.900 my parents were like maybe the spider could be on the trash can too yeah i could see it was it was

00:36:03.900 on the toilet it was not in the trash can so going to the trash can my favorite and basically same

00:36:08.860 things but it wasn't my favorite way my favorite way of envisioning this is that that he's still

00:36:13.980 going to the bathroom but he's pissing in the trash can adjacent to the toilet and his parents just

00:36:18.140 keep walking in there just keep walking in there and go like what the fuck is wrong with this kid

00:36:25.180 i don't i don't remember what i was doing but i guess i was just in the blanks with your with your

00:36:29.180 story just make it up you know what you're right yeah i was yeah i'll piss it no leaf i'll be like

00:36:33.260 deuces guys i got to make like an observation here again because this show is about really about

00:36:37.660 dissecting our friends so cole thinks that look i actually have it dude it's a

00:36:42.620 he thinks that that sort of canister there with a hole that size that's a can and then he says

00:36:48.220 his thing is a cup right he's confused about like the widths of things so it's an open top i don't

00:36:54.620 know so do you think that a toilet then is similar to um i was five years old dude i just i was just

00:37:00.460 like hey piss goes in here that's kind of like trash trash goes in there that's kind of like piss

00:37:04.700 all right dude you totally pooped in the trash can you totally because if the idea is you're scared

00:37:12.780 of the toilet you would have to poop at some point i guess i guess yeah true and they they didn't say

00:37:18.300 it may not have been three months it was certainly longer than a day like it was multiple days and

00:37:23.900 they they would say they i think they would say weeks it happened where i was i was you could have

00:37:27.660 fucked you yo because like there was at one point where he he looked and he was like there's a closet

00:37:31.420 and if you would have chose the closet you would know dude i had i had really bad uh like i pissed

00:37:38.140 the bed like for like till i was probably like 10 like a lot like it was bad respect respect me too

00:37:44.060 elizabeth's pissed the bed until she was 14. wow oh well she's retarded yeah dude i couldn't believe

00:37:49.900 it yeah going going to 10 it's like all right that's understandable yeah like once you're the teens

00:37:54.220 yeah you're breedable and you're still pissing the bed

00:37:56.780 no one's gonna marry you like that it's more on you than her that she's breedable at 14 you

00:38:03.660 scumbag jesus cole i have a question the rate is like for how retarded someone is like how long

00:38:08.940 they piss the bed so like 10 and 14 is a good number if you're going to 16 that's like you might

00:38:15.100 be brain damaged i don't know all right guys we're at we're almost 45 minutes we've sold our paying

00:38:20.780 customers no hold on i do i do have i found the uh the the the um thing i was talking about hell yeah

00:38:26.540 the video yeah yeah you might here i'll turn this up so you can really hear it it's really funny

00:38:35.180 hmm play there we go oh no volume it's a video game what what game is this it's like

00:38:42.620 a sprint theft auto this is gta yeah all right you up the flow cole you

00:38:47.100 yeah i can't hear anything i can't hear anything oh you're not here it will it's do you not hear it

00:38:50.700 at all no no no no ah you gotta click the button to share the audio playboy oh did not did i not

00:38:57.980 share the no oh that's bad you know what that's probably what i did you think that's probably what

00:39:04.380 you did hey i'm pissing trash send it to the producer next time cole okay that's our producer mailbag

00:39:11.660 fuck you guys i can't believe you cole oh there we go that's what it was i i had to share

00:39:16.380 can i just ask we'll come back to it maybe go ahead no here just do it because it's really funny

00:39:21.420 all right jesus fine you hear it yeah yes get off the game go to the bathroom and take a

00:39:27.420 shit now hey bathroom and shit now go to the bathroom and give a shit this is absolutely cole

00:39:37.260 get off go to the bathroom go to the bathroom i can smell you shitting yourself get up and go to the

00:39:45.900 bathroom down this is so crazy this guy's a no and go to the bathroom go to the bathroom you're

00:39:56.460 shitting yourself not yet is that crib daddy not yet oh my god it's everything apart i swear to god

00:40:05.580 go to the bathroom you're shitting yourself not yet you're shitting yourself poop is coming out of your

00:40:13.900 fucking asshole go to the bathroom hell yeah go not yet no go to the guy in the bathroom

00:40:27.900 take it down oh that's funny that's that's in that guy i was like that's the same dude that's

00:40:32.060 pissing in the closet he's the same guy like sounds just like he's just like same i ship myself i piss

00:40:37.580 in the closet like it's just whatever do these people have like way too much in common with myself and

00:40:42.060 cole apparently cole my question is for you when you were scared of the spider and that's why you

00:40:47.020 weren't able to piss in the toilet yeah you were young but had you sung the itsy bitsy spider song

00:40:52.060 by then i love it how i delivered them the syntax if it was mailbag it took me a while to like

00:40:56.140 i thought he was someone like he was doing mailbag like i had a precognition that i would do this

00:41:01.260 toad toad asked toad you're asking if a five-year-old boy in the united states had heard the

00:41:08.300 itsy bitsy spider song yes you dumb fuck yeah i heard the so you under so you understand my

00:41:13.100 question is did you not think that you could totally hold on the spider away the rain washes

00:41:17.660 the spider away oh my god this is you're reaching this far for this in the light of a chuckle member

00:41:22.300 toad like so you're just gonna go ahead and ask fucking questions in the mail no yes literally

00:41:26.460 empezzling no he's been robbing us blind for years i have not seen a penny from this show i'm the

00:41:33.020 treasure i'm the treasure did vcu win tonight i've been doing this for three years i haven't

00:41:37.980 got a fucking penny from this scumbag he's just stacking thousands of dollars putting them on

00:41:42.060 fucking 17 parlays and just blowing it all i don't play a really big show and we don't even know like

00:41:48.380 this show makes like fucking 20 grand a week you guys can all quit your jobs but i have uh

00:41:55.900 i have a massive gambling addiction like you guys could quit your jobs but the juice is running and i've got

00:42:01.820 a fucking hot lead on a horse at delmar dude it's it's not an addiction i just can't not do it

00:42:09.980 yeah right it's an addiction that's horrible uh mailbag uh all right hunter goody says merry

00:42:17.740 christmas guys yes merry christmas sir are you enjoying eggnog for the season currently are there

00:42:23.980 any noggers among you nogger faggot for life okay yes yes like eggnog i like eggnog yeah elizabeth uh

00:42:32.700 elizabeth really likes eggnog when she was pregnant with uh with our son she had cravings right like

00:42:37.580 hard bad cravings for eggnog so we had like we were like and it was the i don't know which one

00:42:43.100 y'all like but the best one is the um oh fuck what's that called homemade baby homemade i didn't make

00:42:49.660 homemade eggnog last year and it was really good i actually make my own eggnog it's called coquito

00:42:55.180 i disrespect people that say eggnog because it's like a very white thing so i'm like that's garbage

00:43:00.620 i make the coquito i actually have still a couple of bottles here and you guys are in florida i got

00:43:04.940 to figure out a way to get you some yes along with the money that is it the same is it the same thing

00:43:11.020 is it literally the same thing i think it's basically the same for me in there for me

00:43:18.300 southern comfort that's right thank you for me eggnog is just like cottage cheese like cottage

00:43:23.260 cheese if i have two bites of cottage cheese no listen to me fucko cottage cheese is like

00:43:28.460 that is a perfect way to describe total so so when i'm hungry like cottage cottage cheese will

00:43:40.460 sound pretty good to me i'll have two bites of it and then the third is dog shit and i'm like what

00:43:44.460 the fuck was i thinking i get what you mean i got an eggnog cake just the other day i got like a third

00:43:49.180 of the way and i was like well that was nice but now i don't want it i get it it's like so rich it's

00:43:54.220 like really yeah really intense but the first that's why it's so good when you cut it with

00:43:58.060 alcohol fucking amazing dude yeah you put some nutmeg in it when i used to spike it i used to put

00:44:03.900 like spiced rum in it that's what i like to do with it yeah i just bought spiced rum i don't know

00:44:08.940 is that any good i love how toad extra enunciates like words that you would like kind of be somewhat

00:44:14.620 edgy like rum or like what it's like nutmeg i drink alcohol i'm trying to make like

00:44:24.140 minor little jokes because he just associate associates edginess with joke like that's how

00:44:29.020 it works genocide it makes you confusing the conversation because you emphasize the word

00:44:34.460 that doesn't matter in the sentence so like the stories are always all like upside down and

00:44:38.620 backwards i was looking for for a nut uh pun when he went nutmeg and i was like it didn't happen i was

00:44:43.900 just confused like you just like you either bailed or you just subtly planted a minor like an itty

00:44:49.580 bitty micro joke i guess in your eyes yeah no you're right that's a great great analysis i think

00:44:54.540 i feel like the muscle relaxers are making you more attuned yeah yeah for real it really sucks

00:44:58.860 sometimes when you don't like enunciate the right thing because i'm like i like 12 year old wine

00:45:04.060 that kind of sucks that's dangerous yeah i was just i was thinking i can put you on a watch list

00:45:08.620 when we were just talking about this stuff i was like what if toad was self-aware like that would be

00:45:13.420 what if he was a sentient being no no i mean in fairness in fairness the fact that he's suicidal

00:45:18.540 tells me that he is at least somewhat sentient did i fail the turing test what that the sentient

00:45:22.860 part knows that he should be gone yeah right yeah it's just like

00:45:31.580 part is just like dude you gotta end this he's self-aware he's not having it

00:45:36.940 he found sentience he was like he has to suppress he has to suppress his self-awareness with like

00:45:46.300 betting analysis it's the only thing yeah dude i'm like realizing like you were an error you should

00:45:51.340 not have been created by self-destruct

00:45:56.460 so his new platform is pro-abortion oh goodness gracious dude all right next question should have

00:46:02.220 happened to me it would have would have saved uh many people some problems dude i so want to do

00:46:07.340 one at some point though like whether it's like for our 200 300 whatever because it takes us like

00:46:11.340 two years to get to 100 mark so if we could get everyone that listens and watches this show together

00:46:16.220 in one place it could work oh yeah that's like that that would be like you know 100 200 people

00:46:21.820 i mean let's be real if we did one for 200 it'd be more of like a house party than it would be

00:46:25.660 a thousand real real shit there's thousands of people that watch and listen to this regularly

00:46:29.900 but we'd have to get all of them in the tens of thousands okay maybe i don't know

00:46:33.900 millions but but but in reality though like we could have a tom woods 2000 if every single one of

00:46:41.180 our fans okay let's let's be we can have a tom woods 2000 that was that like a very nice resort

00:46:46.940 like everyone briefly listened to 30 seconds and left and discussed

00:46:51.340 how many threesomes i would witness fuck god we should have left that until i still think i should

00:46:56.380 we should have left that way earlier than we did god i stayed in there for at least like 15 minutes

00:47:00.380 that was way too long like the tom woods 2000 like the actual oh actually watching it we're

00:47:07.500 fucking drinking in the lobby i was in there remember this i'm saying i'm sitting next to

00:47:12.380 the little dicky and he's so fucking shithoused and he's just he's just leaning over to me every

00:47:17.740 couple seconds he's going clint clint polish this off and then he goes and i go dude no i don't want

00:47:23.340 him and he goes faggot and he just keeps saying that for for 20 minutes and i was like i'm going

00:47:28.460 back it wasn't little dicky it was it was regular dicky right whatever i think tom wins 2000 is what

00:47:33.820 made me not a libertarian because it's just because of what you're talking about i tried to be like

00:47:37.980 like the good libertarian and stand in the room and i'm looking out there and i was like there's a

00:47:41.580 party going on like right there and everyone in this room i'm like this is boring and we went outside

00:47:46.380 and did i think we had such a party in the lobby it was so fun dude it's just so funny to me that

00:47:51.260 like they had a magic guy in there they had a guy doing magic he sawed tom woods in half and you

00:47:59.260 guys missed it michael malice was the headliner and he has a puppet on his fucking hand dude like god yeah

00:48:07.260 man they wonder why people don't join us it's just like because like go to like that that's all that it

00:48:14.140 is we don't have to do any of this tower gang fest is just we should throw a libertarian party invite

00:48:20.380 some of the most boring libertarian speakers that you know people will show up and then we do a party

00:48:26.460 on in the lobby right on the outside that's a great idea no no no you know you you nailed it dude i

00:48:33.180 actually like that like an all-day event i would love that like an all-day drinking event with a bunch

00:48:38.860 of speakers because then i can be like you know what jeff dice is talking at fucking 11 and i

00:48:43.260 actually i'll be back in an hour guys i'll make it like 30 minutes in like you totally missed the

00:48:47.900 point you missed the point no go ahead you missed the point all right all right so i want both we're

00:48:52.620 we are going to co-opt lp nationals convention this upcoming year wherever the convention i think it's

00:48:59.180 dc i don't know where it's at it is we all we all show up and then we just announce once we get there

00:49:05.580 in person we say tower gang is happening right in the lobby and we just set up a fucking stage and we

00:49:11.980 this guy hired us i still i still think i really like the thing of like we make an event but we

00:49:18.940 make it seem like a liberty like having all the big yeah that's even funnier it's having no like uh

00:49:23.900 michael high i don't want to be in trouble like that's happening naturally why do we have to put in

00:49:27.660 the legwork just let them create their convention and then we steal it and then you just go yeah it's

00:49:33.100 like duh because i just i just think it's really funny to be like

00:49:38.540 there it is dude that's you know what this is you're like you won't really become uncomfortable

00:49:43.900 stop listening to these faggots and look at me like this is a major this is a major

00:49:48.780 political part thank you for the yes this is a major political party and that's the graphic that

00:49:53.740 you're putting up for like your convention they would have hired you but you're also an anti-semite

00:50:00.460 so they can't producer producer look up what the rnc is doing for theirs what it looks like for theirs

00:50:05.500 like go to like the republican national convention like website and see what they're doing because

00:50:09.660 i bet it looks like we unironically could just get all of our audience to just buy tickets and go to

00:50:15.100 it and like what are they going to do you know what i mean like i don't think they should even buy

00:50:19.500 tickets just show up like what are they going to do stop you they don't believe in force tower gang

00:50:24.300 fest like this and we almost might have to apply for tower gang to be a political party if we're going

00:50:29.020 to be like making money on the back of a political party like we're just going to be trailing wherever

00:50:33.820 the lp goes it's like tower we gotta get a 501c3 or something dude i just said i just had the most

00:50:38.780 brilliant fucking idea all right so so we show up we get a thousand or 1200 like literally if we get

00:50:45.500 if we get 600 of our fans diehard fans to just become delegates for the lp we have we oh god

00:50:52.060 now you lost no you're an idiot listen to me they can't kick us out because then the party belongs

00:50:58.860 to oh we elect nick fuentes whatever yeah we can we can elect cole to be the presidential candidate

00:51:05.660 we just steal this shit oh my god i love that you would like me except for toad that's actually

00:51:10.620 running for it that is the biggest kick in the nuts to toad like i'm sorry we're gonna like the

00:51:18.700 funny guy well i just think i just think it'd be even more funny if it was you over toad oh it'd be

00:51:23.340 so oh my god i he that actually might kill me kill himself over that one that might be the thing that

00:51:29.740 pushed him over the edge do you think it might i don't think so i think that would be the thing

00:51:35.100 it's a weird way to kill him but i guess so yeah cole's first action is president he it's like a free

00:51:39.500 piss bucket for every child well look it it could have been told that we nominated with our fans but

00:51:45.340 toad didn't even come up with this idea i did so i get to decide who it is and this is a great idea

00:51:49.660 i mean we should do this like twice a year they're doing the whole thing they're doing everything

00:51:55.020 by the way technically we are doing this at lp georgia uh which this was we were going to talk

00:51:59.900 about we are doing this like we're going there oh yeah and we're taking it over and they oh they paid

00:52:04.780 us to be there and we are going to tower fest uh test run you guys need to fucking come out there

00:52:11.100 show us we can do that our test come out if they show out then then i'm on for lp national i'm on

00:52:17.580 yeah we'll make it hey that means we will make them more of a joke we also have to really put out content

00:52:22.780 then like when we're there we have to make it a reason to be there as well if you guys show up

00:52:27.260 you're asking i could look at i could look right at we're gonna be a whole to do a faggot and

00:52:31.820 everybody laugh i mean that's like imagine that if if they it's like our our audience could outnumber

00:52:37.420 the people that they're actually bringing in and then we just fucking say awful shit about we could

00:52:42.460 probably get the lp labeled a terrorist organization i really think i so what they're like almost there

00:52:49.740 with their distractors we could do it you know if you paused if you pause that graphic at the right

00:52:54.540 time back up back up please watch this oh my god hold on hold on sorry real quick we can discuss

00:53:01.260 our our active shooter event at the thing that could be one of the discussion points okay look

00:53:05.980 if if you pause it at the right time as the graphic slides across the color changes it's it actually

00:53:10.700 says arian it says arian party anyway no it doesn't yeah yeah it does what watch when it says libertarian

00:53:16.860 party i don't know if it says it i don't know if it was at the beginning or coming up i believe oh yeah

00:53:22.540 watch yeah watch watch area oh dog whistle go back a little bit screenshot that yeah that is uh

00:53:33.020 it's spelled wrong but it's still clint clint's noticing yeah i love it i i the only thing i want

00:53:38.460 to do i want to do is so bad it's just in the middle of their debates or some kind of thing just

00:53:44.540 one of us one of us no no no even better no no even even better is one of us just stands up and be

00:53:49.980 like bro this fucking sucks let's go out there and party and then like and then like half the

00:53:55.260 audience like half the audience stands up and leaves that would be the best thing i could imagine

00:54:00.620 happening and then you can be the last one that leaves and go this is our party now

00:54:06.540 and if they try and stop you cole just turns around and flings a piss trash

00:54:10.540 i'm just like you dude we could actually do that and make it the first episode that

00:54:15.260 toad is missed and especially within that close proximity he wouldn't see what we probably wouldn't

00:54:19.740 leave the stage like oh he wouldn't leave the stage oh imagine that you can watch them no no

00:54:24.540 no watch the moral dilemma in his face as he has to figure out is that everyone like he's the last

00:54:29.980 one of us there on the debate stage the numbers are crunching like the numbers are crunching in his

00:54:34.220 head and he's just like he's going down both of them are like errors at the end and he's just like

00:54:38.060 like dude we should bully him into coming with us i bet you if we did that like we're walking out

00:54:47.340 we're like wait toad toad what the fuck are you doing dude like what are you up there for man and

00:54:53.180 just watch it just it's incredible that'd be his face he would go frozen toad that's like his like

00:54:59.820 uh air 404 or whatever yeah it's like it's like his uh what's it called not a defensive uh

00:55:06.700 uh i can't remember what the name is self-preservation so yeah it's like self-preservation

00:55:11.020 mode is just it's just frozen toad as he's just sitting up there he can't talk anymore like when

00:55:15.020 the goats threaten he just goes

00:55:16.140 that's that's what the toad you're witnessing the toad in his natural environment it's the

00:55:22.380 fainting toad all right do we have any more mailbag or can we go to our sponsor we did what one of

00:55:26.540 them yeah we yeah that's a riftastic episode right now we did one yeah it's riftastic we did

00:55:32.300 we're back baby back in our proper roles toad the punchy bag top the swath cool guy

00:55:38.060 very uh very appropriate this is an edition of kill toad mailbag edition from mark vestibule

00:55:44.940 kill toad presidential assassination edition when toad becomes president which clandestine

00:55:49.980 faction assassinates him and how will they do it tower gang we'll kick him off the show and then

00:55:54.780 that's how it'll probably be a foreign national of some sort probably a cutout of a cutout of the cia

00:56:01.020 if we're gonna really you know here's what it really is the tower gang uh the tower gang mass

00:56:05.820 shooting is actually not a mass shooting we took him out covertly it was we had to do the 250 people

00:56:11.980 we had to kill 350 people to make it look like it was a mass shooting and not an assassination

00:56:19.500 it would be the it would be also be like the i'm saying there's more i don't know it's a big number

00:56:24.460 toad got killed in a mass shooting as the actual president united states he's still

00:56:28.460 so like unnoteworthy like it's just like they would just still be like

00:56:33.340 they'd be like 30 dead including oh the president i feel like it wouldn't be anything cool like the

00:56:43.740 clandestine third world no none of that it would be the postmaster general it'd be like some some like

00:56:49.420 higher up in a body of our political establishment that you would just never suspect it'd be just the

00:56:53.980 head of the post office i just think toad would just have like a stroke he would just die just

00:56:58.140 of natural causes and they're just like yeah he'd probably get stuck in a bathtub and area oh my god

00:57:04.380 what do they mean by that what do they mean by that yeah why do you want to comment that under

00:57:10.140 their uh under their tweet go ahead why is every candidate white what's happening um let's do one

00:57:16.460 more comment that comment that from the tower gang account yeah right under the thing just say what do you

00:57:20.860 mean by this yeah exactly we should definitely tweet that out i can't believe how crazy is it that i

00:57:33.260 saw that just it was like glitching too and i was like arian party yeah i couldn't just see that it is

00:57:39.020 mine the whole time oh it's a nice dog whistle there uh yeah we have carl says would you yeah would you

00:57:47.500 guys take five hundred thousand dollars cash but every time you have sex for the rest of your life

00:57:52.700 the aspca uh is it aspc i guess it is sarah mclaughlin's song starts playing excluding coal

00:57:59.820 because dead dogs make him oh yeah i was about to say i would nut so hard i wouldn't give a

00:58:04.140 fuck like yeah i'd take it 500 500 500 grand yeah so yeah five grand yeah five grand yeah still i would

00:58:11.020 still do it for five grand dude i'd buy a scooter or something i would pay five grand and never hear

00:58:15.580 that song again so that's what i that's exactly what i would be doing if i uh took this uh if i

00:58:21.500 don't that's it's it's in the arms of the angel like you can literally just be like making love to

00:58:25.500 that i feel like you can make love to it right but you understand if i took this deal yeah like you're

00:58:32.700 you're paying you're getting paid five hundred thousand dollars to hear that song dogs in the room with

00:58:38.220 you like that's no it's just the song yeah i don't care then it's like you have to envision all the

00:58:43.820 like gimpy dogs and no like literally somebody puts a dead dog in your room like right over your

00:58:49.260 banister and you're like oh this dog's starting to stink can i can i still come yeah i'll be able

00:58:54.700 to say another threesome babe let's go it would get old it'd be hard to do anything other than slow

00:59:01.100 fuck to that song but you know yeah i was gonna ask could you could you gorilla

00:59:04.780 fuck to uh uh in the arms of the angel like the vibe is completely off like you can't like be slamming

00:59:10.940 it i would obviously take this deal because i would get 500 i would get 500 000 and my life wouldn't

00:59:16.620 change whatsoever that's a good point uh i was thinking about like if you have to listen to that

00:59:21.740 song all the time but can can you have it covered by like like corn be like boop-ba-ding-bop-ba-dee-bop

00:59:28.060 and then limp limp biscuit i want to hear limp biscuit covering uh in the arms of an angel

00:59:37.660 that'd be really funny no i wish i could do that quickly enough but i text that guy to do it in uh

00:59:42.140 in the style of like chop suey of uh oh yeah yeah yeah that'd be fucking that's actually what made me

00:59:47.260 think of it i was like that dude cover shit so fucking dope hell yeah i listened to that song

00:59:51.900 way too many times like way too many times it's so good no one knows what we're talking about

00:59:58.540 the sarah mclaughlin song no no no it's the guy that did the covers he would do like uh yeah yeah

01:00:03.820 his song he could do like we had an obsession with cover songs for a minute and don't be wrong they were

01:00:07.820 cool but like they're like oh especially instead of shit on everything man hey hey hey people do

01:00:16.620 this though you're addicted to fucking muscle relaxers okay so how about yeah how about you

01:00:21.820 lay off mocking us yeah broke your leg i ran a half marathon this weekend go

01:00:27.580 fuck yourself i don't train to run from shit i'm just saying it's not what i was running too

01:00:33.020 pussy how about that cool in your in your uh in your travels do elite people tear their their

01:00:40.300 like bicep from their arm or their calf from their leg nope no i have seen their bicep from

01:00:46.860 injuries but uh i've never seen a calf tear like i'm an elite person elite animals no no they don't

01:00:53.180 no are you ever gonna be able to gorilla fuck again ever yeah i can still girl fuck i've been

01:00:58.940 trying to get it in my wife keeps like your leg i'm like i'm fucking fine i'm not fucking with my

01:01:03.420 leg bitch i will find an angle to where i don't have to get my leg involved i feel like i've been

01:01:09.980 working too hard to even know what we're talking about are you oh yeah injured that's what the cane

01:01:14.700 was jose is crippled man he's what happened now i fucking over the weekend i was working i was

01:01:18.860 pushing a large piece of equipment and fucking uh and i like yeah no it's a it's like a power generator

01:01:25.740 for but for work and it's like a big ass fucking thing and yeah no i fucking drove off my back foot

01:01:32.060 and then like as soon as i did like i like pushed too hard it's something that's probably like well

01:01:36.060 over 500 pounds i like it's one it almost has to move like a car like kind of move it slowly and get

01:01:40.380 going but i was just like nope first drive i'm getting it just like right off the bat and

01:01:43.980 fucking snap how does how does everybody know this but me because you don't pay attention

01:01:48.940 there because you don't care send it in the chat you're too busy with luke rukowski you

01:01:52.300 motherfucker yeah you're even here all the time that's actually a great video can we if if our

01:01:58.780 producer could pull up the luke rukowski video that's fucking one of us you know what he's he's

01:02:04.540 not one of us he's still it made me feel a little less jilted about you like kind of being more friends

01:02:09.900 with him than us now you know oh that's that's a lie i'm i'm definitely still better friends with you

01:02:14.220 guys i just like i just work a lot so i didn't read the group chat and i'm sorry to hear that

01:02:18.380 you're hurt yeah well you clearly didn't care no i do this is why i was so stuck i really don't

01:02:24.300 fucking care i was like why does everybody know this except me guys guys it was usually like wednesday

01:02:28.620 9 11. that was like wednesday 9 30. you know it's just is what it is is you know sometimes friends

01:02:33.900 fall apart and it's just a natural we fell apart by exactly 19 minutes okay let's everyone calm down a

01:02:42.060 little bit by the way i drive home at like 80 miles per hour just to get on this show on time

01:02:47.260 so you know i'm doing my best it's true yeah look that's yeah it's kind of true but whatever oh man

01:02:53.500 yo clint if i would have said what i wanted to say to to luke that day at timcast do you think

01:02:58.540 you would have this opportunity do you do you remember what i said i wanted to say

01:03:02.380 like oh you guys know each other oh yeah that's right dude i like i brushed the line real quick

01:03:09.820 and then i walked back and i was like whatever oh that was during the poker wasn't it like you

01:03:14.380 said to like during no it was after the show like we're about to leave yeah people our audience loves

01:03:18.380 this stuff and we're exchanging pleasantries and and him and clint were like i was like oh you guys

01:03:22.780 are both in miami and i was like you guys man you got more in common with each other than you know

01:03:27.100 or so i said some shit like that and i just left it at that and i was like and clint was like sweating

01:03:31.900 he's like yeah now clint does a show with luke and it's called eskimo bros yeah if clint doesn't

01:03:39.820 care about his co-host what he really really doesn't care about oh we yeah we know we really

01:03:44.460 don't care about you guys yeah i just want to make sure there was no illusion of that i think i'm the

01:03:49.020 only one of us that actually cares about our fans so you better i just saw that right somebody was

01:03:53.500 banned yeah yeah who just banned not ron what just yeah poor not ron i didn't i didn't say to ban

01:03:59.100 anybody yeah who the fuck do you think you are producer we haven't given you these privileges

01:04:04.060 someone someone was like i can't get him back guys we lost him all right could you could you

01:04:08.860 pull up he clicked it by mistake well if not if not ron was uh banned he's ron now so oh that sucks

01:04:15.980 i'm so bad i'm so sorry not ron that our producer fucking sucks just as clint was like he's like i love

01:04:21.660 all of our fans are like ban that guy

01:04:23.340 i'm gonna fuck out of here everybody everybody put i talk shit to our fans the same way i talk

01:04:29.740 shit to you guys i love you guys i love our fans the same that's true that's true could you put a

01:04:34.460 graphic please pretty gay just keep in mind the difference is he actually knows us so just don't

01:04:38.780 get it don't get it twisted i really wanted to uh to talk about i sent a thing today about a white

01:04:44.860 woman becoming black and i thought this was fucking hilarious we're gonna get into that but i need to

01:04:49.180 talk about nadeau oh absolutely go.com christmas is just around the corner use promo code towergang to

01:04:56.620 get 15 off the best stainless steel razor in the game single blade it kicks ass enjoy your shave

01:05:03.900 veteran-owned family-operated promo code towergang n-a-d-e-a-u shavecode.com if you've been looking

01:05:09.740 at toad and you've been thinking about suicide do it with the best blade in town if your father

01:05:15.740 is addicted to pills and he needs to kill himself also nadeau shaveco.com promo code towergang if

01:05:22.060 your mom thought about aborting you but she waited a little bit too long and now she's got to handle

01:05:26.220 the job nadeau shaveco.com here's what we do a beautiful little mustache like this nadeau all of

01:05:31.100 our fans show up show up to the georgia lp convention we're all just going to do like a

01:05:36.220 fucking mass shaving like right there right walk right yeah how many people shave at once coded

01:05:41.820 language i like it what if everyone is like sitting down everyone's sitting down and then

01:05:45.820 like at a certain time like everyone's in a separate like a flash mob yeah flash mob and then they

01:05:50.060 just start shaving i'm gonna shave myself man by the way do you think do you think women would like

01:05:54.540 nadeau uh do you think it's a good joke about it on target or on liberty lockdown yesterday i said if

01:06:00.060 your if your sister because i was talking about the gifts and i was like if your sister's got a

01:06:03.180 little stash on her nadeau i was wondering like i don't think do you think women like the like

01:06:09.500 the single blade razors because i had like they always use like those not a frilly

01:06:13.100 bullshit like uh but you know those losing market those pink those pink razors for

01:06:17.180 bitches single blade because they're what's not here yes it is because their hair is so fine i

01:06:22.220 swear to god i've seen them i've literally counted multiple blades yeah what the fuck are you talking

01:06:26.300 about like they're like double but i know they're called it's called venus something look it up uh

01:06:30.300 producer it's called like fuji hoes stealing their razors it's the venus you're literally just

01:06:35.180 talking about those like little green razors like like like yeah those little pieces of

01:06:38.940 shit they're single blade yeah oh real quick real quick uh guys in here that actually have had

01:06:43.740 long-term relationships uh so basically um do you guys for shaving your pubs just steal your

01:06:49.420 girl's fucking razor or is that an issue i don't shave my pubs i trim you know i trim my mustache the

01:06:54.060 other day and my wife saw me do and she's like trim my ass with that

01:06:57.260 you know that i'm that i manscaped with uh one of our uh sponsors competitors yeah we know you

01:07:07.820 talk about it no no no so i i only trim my uh my pubes with uh with scissors that's all i do

01:07:13.820 i i use so insane a one a one on a razor or on a uh yeah i feel like i imagine you have liz hold

01:07:22.700 your your your peenard like head and then you just gotta cut cut cut cut around while she does

01:07:28.060 it i'm so scared like the sisters are getting so close it's like i'm gonna cut my dick i just take

01:07:34.540 a bowl and i stick it on my dick and i just pull cut hey i've been meaning to talk shit to jose about

01:07:41.340 his mustache what the fuck is that dude uh whenever i i fucking shaved not too long ago and every now and

01:07:46.780 then just i like to fuck with the wife and keep the mustache and then but i'll usually show a bitch

01:07:50.620 about it and i'll shave it off but then i got fucked up and i just now it's like anytime i'm

01:07:55.020 like i should shave that off it's like well that's a long walk to hobble and i don't care that much so

01:07:59.740 i guess i have a mustache right now man it sucks is that how it happens like to my dad is that what

01:08:05.180 happened to him oh you stopped caring it was a mock three right who took that off it was a mock three

01:08:13.500 the thing with the women's ones is i don't know why they have it but they're they're like handles go

01:08:19.020 down and then they flatten out and have like a circle at the end i don't know if you know like

01:08:23.260 jose yeah yeah i don't know why weird so you can do like this grip like literally hold it by two

01:08:27.420 fingers yeah it's very i don't know why they have that grip like that but yeah it's not good for

01:08:31.580 for the lady who wants to look cool when she goes like maybe they shave like that and then dude shave

01:08:37.020 like you know oh you got that grippy razor i knew you got that grippy girl the crazy thing is i've

01:08:47.820 totally seen i've like never really paid attention but now i i i can see it in like in my mind's eye of

01:08:52.540 like her holding her razor like that and i'm like so now i'm starting to think that is how chicks use

01:08:57.980 that razor they literally like for a lot of them they do hold the end just kind of like actually elizabeth

01:09:02.460 uses uh my old the before i had nadeau i would use the um i had the harry's razors and that's

01:09:09.260 all she uses now is like the guy's harry's razor to shave guys i really want to just make it a point

01:09:13.340 to say to my to the fans there that are that are watching there's gonna be a lot of you guys watching

01:09:17.660 you could leave your piss closet for like just a couple of days come to georgia leave it there it'll

01:09:22.060 be fine you could piss no yeah piss in piss in the lp's closet how about that

01:09:26.540 spike cohen is in there i don't think people understand how fucking insane it is like i've

01:09:43.820 done a lot of these events right i've been to a ton of lp conventions all over the country

01:09:47.980 i can't believe they're paying the five of us to go do this it's so nuts if you guys don't show

01:09:57.580 out to see that it's going to be history there's never been anything this crazy that's happened in

01:10:01.900 the lp ever this is like world record setting for real like are we are we retribution like

01:10:07.980 why are we being brought i don't know are we like a bomb where are they i think we're

01:10:11.980 no no seriously we're the lp's trump we're we're a bomb i think i think i think what happened is lp

01:10:17.340 georgia had some really like faggoty like left-wing libertarians in there and they were and they were

01:10:23.820 like you know what my opponent we like the mises caucus guys got in and they were like all right

01:10:27.980 fuck it we're going completely other direction these guys are not going to deal with your

01:10:31.660 shit so like that's what they and so we might get like just like tomatoes thrown at us and

01:10:35.820 shit or whatever like which would be really funny days are we terroristing

01:10:43.740 i think it's january 26th or something like that 28th don't bring any weapons

01:10:52.140 lp conventions are lit though like they i mean they can't be fun the florida one was fun i mean

01:10:58.700 but we didn't go to the convention we uh clint did no no no clint did clint became a delegate

01:11:04.460 remember that at the point yeah dave smith remember that you faggot remember you

01:11:09.980 became a dick one time you sucked a dick i'm not gonna let you forget it

01:11:13.740 i did it i was a delegate as well remember he was like oh he's really gonna do some

01:11:17.740 shit and remember they didn't do anything guys do you remember when you had hope and then you

01:11:22.220 fucking did and then it all died right in front of you remember you were like oh dumb

01:11:25.260 bitch you dumb retarded bitch remember when you were like i think dave's gonna run he might pick

01:11:29.340 me for bb i really think you might how funny we disrespect dave this is this is exactly what

01:11:38.220 happened dave smith was like yo you want to come into this i'm about to do like a speech or something

01:11:42.940 that like you had to pay for to get in and people were paying like a lot of money like 250 to have a

01:11:47.340 dinner or some he's like you want to come in and we were like yeah definitely and then we

01:11:52.380 fucking left we left the entire place i was like that was the most disrespectful wild we went to

01:11:59.020 buffalo wild wings yeah we were like this yeah you were there dumb ass you don't remember this y'all

01:12:05.980 bail i stayed and watched i did so yeah i wasn't there because because i bp baby bp let's go

01:12:14.380 no one believes in you except me dave decentralized revolution and now i'm not i'm not i'm not even

01:12:23.180 become ungovernable now i'm not even choosing clint as my vp man

01:12:30.300 you don't get to pick me or use your vp i have like dave dave i'm up to 50 000.

01:12:36.620 if he wins the nomination if you know what i'll be at by next year probably like 80.

01:12:44.140 let's just say let's just say if toad does win the nomination this is an easy bet for you to take

01:12:47.980 clint you have to be his vp if he wins the nomination i mean an infantismal chance that

01:12:53.900 that oh if toad wins yeah sure i'll be his vp okay i don't think you get to pick your vp so

01:12:59.100 it doesn't even matter but it's a fun hypothetical i guess clint's world is so

01:13:02.460 fucked that that could actually happen and i think this is the way this is the way it works at the

01:13:06.700 convention there's delegates they vote for the president once the president's decided then

01:13:10.060 there's a second round of voting so if toad wins on the first ballot i will absolutely put my name

01:13:14.940 up there and i will almost certainly win vp you can it'll be a tower gang lp president i want i want

01:13:19.740 to see i want to see it really actually funny cheney to toad's george bush this is so great this is

01:13:27.020 the actual like this now if you ran for president now just do that just

01:13:32.300 yeah fuck that toad thing no no no it's so no no you're missing a great thing here if toad somehow

01:13:38.140 wins and actually it could be a strategy to get toad to win the real presidential candidacy is the vp

01:13:43.500 thing that's what dave knows dave is going to go in and run for vp he knows toad is going to die

01:13:48.620 within like like if we get the next year because you know if you get one of our dudes like actually

01:13:54.380 elected it's like they're if they actually do shit no that's actually killed that's actually you do

01:13:59.420 want that like buffer you know i mean you need to have that like extra toad is my human shield as

01:14:04.220 president yes yes yeah you're the real president so they got to kill him to get to you clint is going

01:14:09.260 to be my vp closet yeah see it wouldn't happen like that on tower gang because we got our shit together

01:14:15.100 all right the president is clint clint says how things go we know what's going on we're not going

01:14:18.860 to have some outside jew run our organization this is a well-oiled machine that's right yeah toad you

01:14:25.100 have to tell everybody your name it'll happen at the conventions if they force me to use our

01:14:33.180 real are you actually going to go to the convention and like actually run this thing all the way to

01:14:37.100 the like why didn't you just do like vermin supreme that's like he didn't he run with that name

01:14:43.420 changed his name didn't he

01:14:44.380 change your name to change it to toad all right i'll legally i'll legally change your name like

01:14:53.580 a respectable human being like mclovin what would be your last name no no it is toad he's like

01:14:58.700 mclovin like like share like uh uh like what if this show if this show made like a million dollars

01:15:04.460 would you guys would you guys do this everybody legally change your first name clint's the only one

01:15:08.620 for a million dollars if i could do this for the rest of my life yes but no you'd have to be fat

01:15:14.060 dave and then your last name like that's like your whole your whole name i'd be based would you do

01:15:20.300 it i mean yeah i guess so yeah of course if i was making that much money yeah and it was like

01:15:25.740 if if you told me right now you you you change your name to fat dave and then you make a million

01:15:30.780 dollars on tower gang i'll be like yeah sign me up right now fuck yeah dude dude honestly

01:15:35.820 i could go way lower than that too give me 100 grand a year i'm doing this this is being held at

01:15:40.940 a vfw hall what oh wait if that's like a fuck yes i have no idea what that means like is that

01:15:49.260 is it america you guys know what the american legion yeah like old timer like like like they're

01:15:55.580 not gonna be there i know that but the vibe of the like the it's gonna be carpet on the floor and

01:16:01.660 like weird and like and like and like the paneling like wood paneling on the like on the side and

01:16:07.340 like it feels like they're just trying to purge like any remaining woke members like we're just

01:16:11.660 going to talk and like everybody that leaves is immediately evicted from the entire party then

01:16:16.620 they all take a vote yeah he's actually genius dude this is dope it's happened at vfw hall though

01:16:21.420 that is the perfect aesthetic to this i'm telling you it is jose is way too much into this

01:16:26.300 isn't that kind of like branding like that video is like oh look at us we're all new look we're

01:16:31.500 gonna flash the arian sign in front of you and then it's like right and then it's like this is a

01:16:36.140 fucking why do we have like wood paneling on the walls it's peeling it smells like watch this racist

01:16:40.780 show in a vfw hall all right pull up pull up the black chick that's converting if if we have that on

01:16:49.260 there which one is that it's a black there's there's it was a news uh thing and it was a it was a

01:16:55.260 white chick they said they do say light-skinned chick so i don't know if they were actually if

01:16:59.820 it actually was a light-skinned chick or uh they were just she's just not not attractive but they

01:17:04.460 said it was a model that converted to be a black chick huge cans though gigantic and it's crazy and

01:17:11.340 i guess we'll see it first then we get into discussion but my my first question is what

01:17:16.220 like what's what's the what's the selling point on like hey you can become black here's what you get

01:17:21.820 it uh the victim card i think the victim card would be fun i think being able to steal used up

01:17:29.260 though so i don't know no stay white but you can still you can still you can overdraft that card so

01:17:34.940 you'd say black enough and they do they overdraft like a

01:17:38.700 they're writing checks their ass can't cash how about that uh you you get to uh leave your child

01:17:48.860 and not suffer any consequences for that's pretty based yeah that's pretty nice you can uh you oh you

01:17:53.820 can beat your your girl and like no one cares well because they can't tell you she's only may lose

01:17:58.300 your job if it's caught on camera in an elevator so uh only if you're a professional athlete yeah you

01:18:03.980 have to you have to be you know known oh i know if you beat your pregnant wife and then die you

01:18:09.980 become a god if you're like don tran down the road and you beat your fucking bitch no one gives a

01:18:14.620 shit so that's a great quest yeah i i could i could drown myself and everybody would just expect it

01:18:20.380 oh you're all right yeah fine good good

01:18:24.460 began life in germany as a light-skinned blonde girl making headlines around the world when she had

01:18:29.580 injections to change the color of her skin over the past two years martina bigg has

01:18:33.580 radically altered her to become a black woman she's bad this morning has followed every step of her

01:18:39.420 controversial story when i was younger i admired the curves of her anderson my next step is going to

01:18:47.180 pump up my lips also my eye color has changed my eyebrow color has changed and i can feel in myself

01:18:55.500 that i'm changing to a black woman um how i want her to have my credit so bad with all these surgeries so

01:19:02.540 it is the same as a black man's i got fired from my job

01:19:07.020 listen lady oh my god what look at her husband dude positive on that that's amazing oh dude he's

01:19:12.540 wearing some dashiki that dude ain't black either he's no he's not that dude is getting some weird

01:19:18.460 fucking like she is probably into some wild yeah she throws it back yeah like what her what are

01:19:24.460 her heavies look like before that before she looked like uh mama lobster

01:19:34.780 like if you can become transgender though like why not become trans race right yeah that's what the

01:19:39.900 conservatives are saying 2016 toad yes and that's like i remember ben shapiro made that point

01:19:45.100 like whatever your joke is a seven-year-old ben shapiro joke that's what i strive for

01:19:51.740 say it loud say it proud too i it was funny is when i so i never finished the full video whenever i

01:19:57.260 first saw this on instagram that's where i got it from obviously i got to i saw like the intro and

01:20:01.420 they're like she's changing to the plank got to literally the first like frame of her i bust out

01:20:06.700 laughing and then just it's just like and sent it immediately i didn't even watch i just saw her

01:20:11.660 dude her her husband was wild it's way beyond like whenever he when like rachel dolezal

01:20:17.180 how did she make her sound black like that yeah like rachel dolezal have you seen her only fans

01:20:21.900 rachel dolezal yeah uh yeah what's up baby when dolezal did her like like transition she went like

01:20:30.140 pretty slow and like she kind of looked just like a light-skinned chick she went all in deep of like

01:20:35.580 i'm looking nigerian like she's like i'm going full-on black

01:20:39.260 going like i was actually trying to sell it this bitch was just like you know what's the most

01:20:43.420 comical black thing i could do it's funny because she's german so she probably was just like she

01:20:49.660 doesn't know what black chicks look like except for just like this is what they look like in all

01:20:53.580 the storybooks it's obligatory that you become slow so you got to do it slow too it makes sense

01:21:00.860 this is like when when uh the you get a tattoo in japanese and you know yeah it says friendship and

01:21:04.940 and a japanese guy's like no that says you're a dickhead like she thinks that black people are

01:21:09.580 cool so she's like change herself to black and she doesn't know that they're completely awful and when

01:21:14.540 she finds out it's gonna be very funny she's already she's already too far gone yeah she doesn't even

01:21:19.820 she just looks like uh like a just a tan woman like that's what they should this girl was like

01:21:25.420 she went like i'm going all melanin like like she almost looks like she got like uh tattoos like black

01:21:31.180 tech like black tattoo oh i can see it down there yeah i can see it as well tyler's yeah oh god

01:21:37.020 what's up i think that was a swastika i have seen it before oh dude it looks like a san diego padres

01:21:42.700 look yeah i remember the the astica tattoo so i have seen it before she's not attractive at all

01:21:48.460 no she's not totally but for the idea of it being rachel dozel all right she's she's not she's not hot

01:21:54.940 the uh the chick that we were just looking at the chick that went full black yeah fine good

01:21:59.980 scared dude she sorry i was just i was just i was just i was just showing her i'm just showing her

01:22:05.020 she looks like she just like died herself or she like doused herself in tar or something i i have

01:22:10.780 to know what this looked like when she was white i was i was wondering that too what's her name again

01:22:15.740 it's something martina that has to be her black name she just thinks that's what black people's

01:22:21.340 names are all right yeah martina big google that big martina big here we go martita like martina's

01:22:28.540 not even really a black name is it i don't think so she's like martin lawrence no no no no no no no

01:22:34.060 she saw a martin lawrence movie and she was just like martin martina out of here i honestly like

01:22:40.540 like what is i mean her skin there's no way she's like shoe polishing her black face

01:22:45.100 oh jeez oh oh oh what malika kuba is that some like oh what the yeah she's not at all attractive

01:22:55.020 but i do want to see her topless oh for sure just like for scientific reasons basically she

01:23:01.420 what's great is she still has the white german nose you see that like look at her nose like it still

01:23:05.820 looks there's no plastic surgery they can do to like imagine gonna play surgeon be like hey you know the

01:23:10.700 thing you do to reverse everybody else's like from stop looking like that give me what they had before

01:23:14.780 you know the least desirable thing yeah you try to avoid they're literally just showing her

01:23:20.540 struggling to put on a seat belt just because her cans are so well it doesn't matter they don't even

01:23:27.340 it doesn't matter though she's just huge airbags there this this is the entire video her struggling

01:23:33.900 to put her seat belt on for four minutes i can't close my seat belt this is some this is some sex

01:23:42.540 kink oh it's i i thought it was like is it parody is it some sex that like what is going on i'm just

01:23:50.700 a big dumb big breasted black woman i can't get my seat belt on you know what would be funny if what if

01:23:57.900 that lady got the if i push my boobs in together what did she got josie's role as as the oh i found

01:24:04.540 it i found it i found her i found her i don't know what the producer's doing but this is uh not

01:24:10.620 producing dude she was she was definitely hotter before i'm just kidding i really appreciate all

01:24:15.660 your work back there uh we were dealing with it it was hard before you i'm racist so yeah oh no

01:24:20.860 fuck off i found the before pictures all right go ahead pull it up that's her before pictures so

01:24:26.460 that that would be her pretty wait press it again yeah i mean she's cuter definitely she still had a

01:24:30.860 fucked nose oh my god oh that's that's actually ideal for her position that's ridiculous oh is that the

01:24:38.780 husband is that the husband oh my god that's her ex dude dude they went from like some like arian nazi

01:24:45.820 no that's the same guy oh it's the same dude yeah that's you can tell he has the same that's insane

01:24:51.900 yeah he lost arian wolverine he lost his blonde hair just like i cannot believe this wow they are

01:24:59.260 something they really this is just some sex kink shit they definitely i do want to know like they

01:25:04.620 have a sex closet how is her skin yeah whoa he is really white too oh my god he got fat as

01:25:11.180 fuck he's like i'm black i gotta get fat he was like i'm gonna be black you gotta be a white fat

01:25:18.620 bitch too he's like if i'm gonna be bald and fat i'm gonna do it in the only acceptable way which

01:25:24.220 is who would who do you think wanted to be black first him or her uh because it matters even trying

01:25:32.860 look at this article the article says controversial german model who turned herself black but that's

01:25:37.420 that's not the big deal she's accused of lying about her age that's what that's as if that's

01:25:43.740 even slightly relevant yeah she looked way better at school pics i'm trying to get the

01:25:50.700 what i want to know like why why is she the only woman i've ever seen that has the exact same

01:25:56.860 tits as the wood shop working uh oh you're right canadian canadian professor those huge hangers dude

01:26:05.260 yeah oh did she oh i thought i thought she had like a country music album that's what this looks

01:26:09.740 like hey google google martina big naked there's gotta be i gotta tell you we can't show that who

01:26:17.340 cares do you know what we've said save it save it for after the show for your own uh spank bank

01:26:22.700 you we've literally i don't want to jerk off shooting today oh my god oh god it yeah it exists

01:26:29.820 do not click yo yo her her black her black her titties are insane dude her tits have fallen down

01:26:38.300 to like her stomach this episode needs to come down right away she looks so bad you realize that like

01:26:43.100 as fast as we can take it down we've shown what we we went from gavin mcginnis's dick last week

01:26:49.660 to this week we're plotting a mass shooting it's just it's not on youtube none of it look we keep

01:26:54.220 the one episode on youtube her her tits when she was white look awesome and then she turns black and

01:27:01.100 i'm like gross that i am really racist yeah there are no yeah her tits just look awful um i think a

01:27:06.940 lot of people are saying it's the guy convincing her to do this and i i like i want to figure this dumb

01:27:13.340 this is a financial grift 100 yeah 100 i just want to know how she became black though i find

01:27:19.420 that the most fascinating she just wants uh yeah she wants the attention really there's going to

01:27:23.500 be a documentary netflix documentary in a couple of months so just hold out and she's gonna i might

01:27:27.740 i might be uh just i don't know if i'm but there's a video that says on here it says martina

01:27:32.380 big before and after melanotan okay yeah i don't know if they're thinking melatonin and they just

01:27:39.180 spelled it wrong or melanotan is actually something that i don't know about they're making a horrible

01:27:43.660 toad joke but this says she went uh she underwent a perma tannic procedure she underwent a perma tannic

01:27:50.460 procedure in 2017 to give her the appearance of a black woman and then in february 2018 she traveled

01:27:56.300 to kenya and lived there with the tribes of the messiah and samburu melaton is actually very funny if

01:28:03.740 you're talking about like a like a white black person like uh talcum x yeah melanotan oh that's so

01:28:09.980 great yeah that's another that's a new one just for uh for light-skinned horseshoes and hand grenades

01:28:16.380 sends us two dollars and says we should take over the lp with tower gang fans and kick out all those

01:28:20.140 mises faggots hey that's literally what my idea was a half an hour ago this is like the snake pulling up

01:28:25.900 rumble god you're so high right now our producer does it he puts it in the uh anyways this is almost

01:28:32.780 getting to an inception level where holy shit he's doing work the lp the lp just keeps getting eaten by

01:28:39.340 more and more alt-right members and it just keeps going on that would be actually really cool we

01:28:44.700 found you imagine can you imagine who kicks us out how fucking racist and saying they'd have

01:28:48.780 they have to be no legit nazis that's literally that's the only like it's like we were like sort

01:28:54.700 of joking i mean some of the stuff we're a little bit serious about but like didn't like full-on mean

01:28:58.620 it yeah so these guys mean it like nick fuentes and kanye replace us it'd be amazing you know what

01:29:05.420 that happened on my twitter the other day like i was where you were the fucking uh uh uh you had

01:29:11.180 to be like stop talking for the jews guys yeah i was like god damn because like i got a lot of

01:29:15.980 followers that were like way hardcore and then and no we mean it yeah they're like hey hey you

01:29:22.060 top water you say it's every jew stop to steal my jokes everybody in the rumble chat to steal my

01:29:27.020 jokes it gets it's getting like uh it is the worst thing on the internet when you get out extremists

01:29:33.260 by somebody and when you when you are the oh yeah you feel like such a faggot you're like oh

01:29:37.340 fuck yeah like every time like we talk about colonialism in relation to fucking like the jew

01:29:41.980 stuff and you're like well now i just feel like a faggot saying colonization's bad but like not good

01:29:48.780 like guys

01:29:53.260 i get it this is normally what the faggots say about some

01:29:55.420 shit that happened like centuries ago like oh i fucking cares like it's especially bad for

01:29:59.980 like libertarians when like whenever like mccarthy comes up with communists and you'd be like well

01:30:04.620 what he did with the government isn't really that great you know you're not getting rid of communists

01:30:09.580 and everybody's just like nah fuck communists like just get rid of them kill them all and you're like

01:30:13.900 ah shit they got me like this martina big woman by the way she's apparently appeared on multiple

01:30:19.500 episodes of botched which is the show about botched plastic surgeries and she's also saying that

01:30:25.020 she and her husband are going to have a baby and that the baby will be black nope no no no it

01:30:31.420 definitely won't jesus that'd be the first time that'd be the first time a black woman has a white

01:30:35.340 baby like that and there's like confusion about it i saw i saw a white couple with a black baby and

01:30:39.980 immediately i was like like i laughed at my wife and he's like how do you how do you know you know

01:30:44.140 they're adopted and i was just like you just assume you just assume that that girl just got knocked

01:30:48.300 up right you know how many no no i'm gonna bring it up yeah run the pool hall video when you get a

01:30:53.580 chance please the pool hall video oh yeah yeah you'll remember it instantaneously it's pretty

01:30:58.540 wait what were you gonna say cole that that is probably too over the line for today he's like

01:31:02.300 yeah never mind i'm not no no just never mind i don't know it's a whole can of worms it's a whole

01:31:07.100 can of worms nothing is too over the line for cole but when he won't say something it's because his

01:31:12.380 wife will get upset about it yeah he's like oh i i almost said a really good story the members

01:31:18.460 list is like i'll kill you if you know this story must be really good like i gotta know now yeah

01:31:25.740 no it's not it's not a story it was just me making it i feel like this dude has the shortest trigger

01:31:33.100 of anybody i've ever seen like oh a white dude like the shortest trigger ever yeah so like the

01:31:38.540 all white which white dude yeah the white dude we're in a pool hall dog it's a chat is that like

01:31:44.300 it it looked like the guy was about to piss he was like yeah about piss pool yeah yeah the white dude

01:31:48.940 just chalked his chalked his stick it's that piss table right there yeah they talk a little bit of

01:31:53.820 shit yeah he goes throws the ball and boom oh yeah boom boom oh boom yeah yeah the guy knocks the guy

01:32:02.780 out because he threw uh yeah did he did he hit the guy in blue first on accident it looked like he hit

01:32:07.420 him with the stick yeah he looked like he totally missed the one guy hit the other guy with the

01:32:11.100 stick yeah look at these two dudes drinking they don't move at all yeah i love that they get a

01:32:16.380 fucking pool ball throwing at them there's a fight going on they're like we don't care yeah the two

01:32:19.580 guys at the table just like what just happened that i'm drinking my beer over here i feel like

01:32:24.540 you just said to him like your mother's like kind of mcgregor and that's like that's all it took

01:32:29.740 well no what it took was him throwing the cue ball that's really no i know but why did he do that

01:32:34.380 he had to have said something oh i see yeah i see what you're saying like i don't know dude because

01:32:37.740 if a guy touches my balls i welcome oh oh he moved his arm because he wanted to break he moved back

01:32:43.100 it up back it up back it up oh yeah you see you're right he's breaking yeah he's breaking right there

01:32:47.100 he actually takes the chalk from him in the beginning he's like give me that like i'm breaking back it up

01:32:52.940 oh they were they were arguing about who over who was breaking yeah watch as soon as he's as soon

01:32:57.500 as he's about to break he tries to move the dude in the black shirt's arm watch he moves his arm to break

01:33:02.140 he takes he takes the chalk from him yeah but after he jogs it after he moves the other dude's

01:33:08.620 arm because he's like hey i was just moving you so i could break yeah what is this piss guy doing

01:33:12.780 here what is he he grabs his wrist and he just pushes him back ever so slightly and that's it

01:33:16.620 that's all the time see his hands on his wrist so wait oh so you're saying the guy that had the

01:33:20.540 trigger was the guy that that was to the cue ball through the ball yeah and he's the one with it

01:33:25.740 no no i'm saying the dude with the triggers i don't know because like i don't know if you're

01:33:30.060 getting so mad of not being able to break they both have real he hits both of them

01:33:35.660 did he will back did he will bap them yeah yeah he will bap i think it was a bap all right i gotta

01:33:42.220 see if he will baps oh he does oh that was like and then one he already has them off equilibrium

01:33:50.460 that is such a pure left hook though i really the third the third strike or actually it's the

01:33:55.180 forward strike if you include the the stick watch bang bang now watch this hook

01:34:01.100 your left oh dude i love how that guy's pulling him back like he just got whacked in the face like

01:34:05.820 hey man come on cut it out

01:34:09.500 this is what clint thinks this is like power clint thinks he has is that that left hook that's the

01:34:14.540 power that clint oh i do i do have that kind of power like this this this what this knockout

01:34:19.180 punch that he just gave right there that's what you can do that's elite i know i know you think i'm

01:34:23.420 talking i'm talking shit i absolutely have that kind of i am awesome i do want to bring this up

01:34:26.940 because you were you did you did talk some shit in uh in our chat about pulling about pulling

01:34:32.700 bitches because you that is so right there he said he said he said 50 is his rate yes that is wild

01:34:39.660 he said i said well i can't i think it was we were talking about amber heard i think it was

01:34:43.580 it was amber heard yeah it was amber heard it was the claims the specific claim that he could

01:34:47.340 pull 50 of any chicks in any room yes no because i said because he said he said he said all he said

01:34:52.140 all i had to do room yes he said all to do is get amber heard in a room and he said and i can

01:34:56.060 bag her basically no i said 50 50. no no no you said you said no no no that's not what you said at

01:35:00.300 first at first you said just get me in a room with her and i can get it done look and then i said

01:35:04.380 i said i said clint any woman in the world what like do you think you can just get them in the

01:35:09.100 room talk to them and bag them any of them he said 50 50. any woman in the world 50. yep

01:35:14.620 well that's that's such a ballsy rate especially just dealing with raw numbers like i could go

01:35:21.020 fucking chat up granny over there and give up give up the puss yeah yeah but given given clint's

01:35:25.740 track record i think he would definitely he would definitely be able to bag uh amber heard thank

01:35:29.660 this this is what this is that was the thing before this was that like i can't remember insane

01:35:34.300 blonde woman who shits in the bed yeah yes that's like that was like that's my dream girl my ideal

01:35:39.500 demographic yes that's like she's a tad she's a mid on the on the older side for clint so it's just

01:35:47.820 he only dates girls that yell the n-word yeah

01:35:52.380 all of his girlfriends i mean i mean are you telling me that's not mandatory for everybody

01:35:59.020 but i i was i was blown away when he just goes 50 50. he was like you put me in there with like megan

01:36:04.060 fox like 2014. would you say you were as blown away were you as blown away as jose was as blown

01:36:09.260 away when you said you were elite like that level of blown away uh when he said i wasn't elite he hey

01:36:16.620 uh cole failed his elite pass test this past week so yeah he really can't you couldn't do 305

01:36:23.900 so i did 315 that's like when you get to the big one that's when you get to big boy leagues when

01:36:28.460 you're like three plates on the bench you're like oh i can rep it now you're like i ran

01:36:33.580 hold on hold on yeah but i ran a half marathon then tried that's gay i'm sorry you did some faggot

01:36:42.300 three beforehand trying to be putting festival i mean that's maybe don't do that and then you'd be

01:36:45.980 elite i tried tried 315 failed through 15 and then after getting tired up from trying to be

01:36:50.380 if i tried 305 and failed that too i can 100 get 305 i can get 100 here at 305 i'm gonna try it

01:36:57.340 again on saturday i'm trying again on saturday i'm trying to get on saturday

01:37:04.140 i warmed up with 285 bam 285 oh oh 305 though oh

01:37:09.580 oh oh the knurling hurts my hands

01:37:13.420 my soft baby hands dude i'm fucked up i could go bench 315 right now wow and he's got and he's got

01:37:26.860 only one leg and he's crippled right now actually it actually would be pretty hard with the legs

01:37:31.500 i was about to say with no leg drive stabilize a little bit

01:37:34.220 so i'd fucking like you're larson pressing 3 3 15 which is jose did your did your calf muscle

01:37:41.420 snap what happened not completely like i'm i'm just basically kind of like a little did this

01:37:46.460 happen at work and can you get disability and become a full-time podcaster yeah i have your

01:37:50.300 question well you should sue your employer it was not good it brings the ocean it was like 245

01:37:58.220 no i fucked up my leg pretty good i mean i didn't get a tendon so it's already like i think in a few

01:38:02.300 days i'll be walking fine so well i was hoping that you were just but i was on crutches the whole

01:38:06.860 way so uh i wish you were i wish you were crippled for the rest of your life that'd be awesome

01:38:11.980 um cool cool uh what were we talking about before that 3 15 oh right how you how you were

01:38:19.020 a pussy and you couldn't do it yeah hey i'm going hey fuck you i'm going 500 deadlift tomorrow

01:38:25.020 i'm going 500 deadlift tomorrow and 500 squat on saturday well well the hilarious part is i'm

01:38:33.260 talking all this shit and i could probably do 255 like that i knew it i was i didn't want to bring

01:38:40.060 it up i didn't want to be like i bet you can't do fucking 300 and then if you could do it i'd look

01:38:45.100 like an idiot yeah but it's like no i can't not even close nope but that is that is like the simple

01:38:49.820 mind like how like levels of advance for bench like it's like one plate all right you're in the

01:38:54.940 game now like two plates you're like that's like now you're a man and like three plates that is when

01:38:59.100 you're like dude you're in that you're getting you're in the big stuff that's no yeah that's that's

01:39:01.980 real shit if you can do if you can do three plates that's fucking at 190 right now that's what i'm

01:39:06.620 weighing i look honestly i don't care what you weigh you can't do 315 you're a pussy and that's

01:39:12.780 that's the end of the conversation it's crazy how big you are and you can't do 315 because i wasn't as

01:39:17.820 big as you and i'd put up 315 at least you should cut like 30 40 pounds and that way when you do

01:39:23.260 he's like that five you go i'm elite but that's because i'm like the size of a child

01:39:29.660 he's like that puffy that puffy jack you know what i mean where it's like like he's big but there's

01:39:33.900 really nothing inside of it like he doesn't have the man yet but he's big he looks big look good

01:39:38.940 you look what do you think you could put up 115 i don't couldn't hit one plate oh dude could you

01:39:45.740 do 135 dude i did three plates tonight what are you talking about i i don't know if he could do

01:39:53.420 incredible i don't know if he could do 95 like a 25 on each side uh i think i think he could do that

01:39:59.580 i think yeah i could oh he could do 95 yeah it starts at home just one 15 ziffy

01:40:04.620 the ones yeah that's yeah it's questionable i think yeah don't need to get to at least benching

01:40:09.900 your body weight that's what you need to get up to you think he's gonna put up 315 you crazy

01:40:14.700 you god damn fucker i don't i'd have to work my yeah wait wait why why is it so ridiculous 50 50

01:40:27.020 means that half of the women in every room that i walk into if they were all single half of them

01:40:31.820 i think oh now you're putting qualifiers on it you're just dealing with raw raw numbers

01:40:35.820 a minute though you did go wrong that's what 50 50 means no no no no you put them all fire that

01:40:41.020 they're all single but no no no this this means that i think now it's more realistic hold on okay

01:40:46.140 okay half of all single and ready to mingle

01:40:51.340 they're single they're totally horny that night look look i'd have to be out of my mind

01:40:56.380 to think that i could walk into some church with a bunch of married bitches and be like half of these

01:40:59.980 women would leave here without their husbands all right this is getting vastly more unimpressive

01:41:05.260 no because you're talking about like you're you're in san diego or you were in california at one point

01:41:09.580 so you were having like meeting some you know at least at some point you were meeting you employ

01:41:15.820 as a coke dealer what's going on here no no no no i thought i was but i was yeah you know what the

01:41:20.940 thing is about about the woman why i think clint is right people like men generally worry about their

01:41:26.460 woman not because of insecurities i think like we worry about because we know they're dumb like

01:41:32.220 they can be tricked pretty easily and it's like damn if this guy this guy's a good trickster clint's

01:41:37.580 a good trickster i've seen the my thing is like my wife i was like when he was when he was talking

01:41:43.900 about this i was trying to put myself in his shoes and being like what would i talk to these women

01:41:48.060 about and to me it wasn't like i'm not talking about going to his shirt off and his socks off

01:41:52.700 so was it like it wasn't like anymore i was thinking like he's going he meets like jennifer

01:42:00.460 aniston or something like that just randomly like and he's just like it's 50 50 he's saying

01:42:04.380 like what would he say to 50 50 with with like high name celebrities like that probably 50 50 for

01:42:09.340 clint with a regular regular like woman in the world no it's way less you know i'm 50 50 uh in a

01:42:15.660 room full of hookers at least why why why do you say that top you imagine like half of hookers going

01:42:23.420 i don't want your money that money was embezzled from tower gang you you did you did not uh come

01:42:32.780 across that money in the right way sir blood diamonds 50 50 with women that'll just suck

01:42:38.780 random dudes dicks in their cars that they pass on a curb and they're like get out of here

01:42:44.460 you're giving me the eebie jeebies i want to know i want to know what top was talking about why he

01:42:48.140 thinks it's higher for uh for like a-list actors or like or like because they they are clout chasing

01:42:53.580 by obligatorily they look it's it's it's doesn't make it doesn't make you they're clout chasing you

01:42:59.820 no well in a sense in a sense of like i think i have a hundred thousand followers

01:43:04.460 yeah it would come up at some point that's what i'm sticking in my head and i'm going like he's

01:43:10.540 gonna go like these are already rich women so and and famous so he can't he knocks out too he

01:43:15.020 can't be like hey i'm a private warrior money litter i have much money like nope that doesn't

01:43:18.860 work because i'm sorry i gotta get this dm real quick it's dave smith uh he was a president of

01:43:23.500 hopeful recently for the lp he's on he's on the joe rogan podcast i don't know if you heard of that

01:43:29.260 joe rogan follows me on x maybe you've heard of it i like the idea that clint has tattooed on

01:43:34.140 his dick like uh like a meter and it says like zero and a hundred k and it's like halfway up

01:43:39.420 colored or something and as he gets hard it gets bigger and he goes mm-hmm okay

01:43:45.980 i like i like you're gonna be like that's my that's my opening line

01:43:48.380 bitch i'm on tower game he's like he's like i'm like uh i'm like two degrees of separation from like

01:43:52.380 elon musk it's pretty cool like i i can like i can talk to somebody and they can talk to somebody

01:43:56.220 and elon musk can talk to that person i mean you're all handsome you're all i mean you're midgets but

01:43:59.900 you're handsome you don't think 50 50. no fucking way i'm five foot five i'm like that takes me out

01:44:05.500 so much of the market okay this is the issue five this is the issue y'all have i mean it's not even

01:44:13.020 a syndrome it's just reality but like most women won't fuck five eight bitch you're gonna get with

01:44:17.580 me yes yes there is no women that are are too tall from like it's almost non-existent and honestly

01:44:23.820 even tall chicks i've hooked up with six three girls like they don't give a

01:44:26.460 fuck they're like thank god all bitches are probably easy to pull like tall bitches are

01:44:30.860 probably super easy they are so grateful yeah because they're like all the short guys are out

01:44:35.340 of it and like they're usually probably kind of awkward looking anyways so they're a doll

01:44:38.300 bitch yeah i will i will say this though super awkward to hook up with a chick that's taller than

01:44:42.540 me it's like it's like like i'm like in a fucking amazon jungle and some dude short like she's

01:44:48.060 riding you and her head's hitting the ceiling just like pop pop like dude sure you gotta shut

01:44:52.780 off your fan so she doesn't you don't want to take her head off dude short men need to need to

01:44:58.460 get with tall women i'm saying i'm still like i i i just can't imagine you going to like a red

01:45:04.060 carpet event and being like yeah i'm gonna pull one of these bitches tonight like 50 50.

01:45:09.500 wait wait wait you think you think i can pull anyone at a red carpet event yeah that reminds me

01:45:14.460 did you guys see this shit we got to pull this up like talking about the short men mating with the

01:45:18.940 tall woman i was i was thinking about like the genetics of brock lesnar because his wife is

01:45:24.300 sable from uh the wwf and she's like she's seriously hot she's oh what are you showing me no i'm three

01:45:31.260 foot eleven three foot eleven jose's already been down for these jose already like that's a pretty hot

01:45:37.260 midget wait yeah for real is she she's bow-legged do you not see the bow leg dude wait is she dating

01:45:43.340 jared from subway who was that doesn't exactly like jared from subway she's she's 14. indian subway

01:45:52.140 jared from indian subway honestly honestly no this is actually a great point why don't pedophiles

01:45:57.820 just date midgets it's not about that yeah did you guys see that the latest about the

01:46:02.940 fucking the kids part i think yes well it's not fucking kid hype people i thought i had come up

01:46:09.900 with a solution and you guys are like no that's not a solution i think they just like fucking kids

01:46:15.740 as the resident pedophile i'll have to tell you that you're wrong

01:46:20.780 topic was immediately like no that would not do it you

01:46:25.500 trust me i've tried a thousand times i just i just spoke with shane cashman on my other show and he

01:46:30.620 was he was uh following the dude that that busts those pedophiles have you ever seen that

01:46:35.260 which one there's a bunch of there's quite a few chris i know which one no no no no like the bootleg

01:46:39.980 ones the ones that do it on youtube and like they i know what you mean they have no authority but they

01:46:43.660 do it anyway it's really funny you were trying to do this 12 year old but the shame was saying he was

01:46:50.540 like yo when we when we like busted these dudes we caught them he's like you could see like like

01:46:54.380 fucking demons in their eyes like literally possessed by some shit like once they knew that they were caught

01:46:59.660 and they like they think about running and then they're like i can't run because they already have

01:47:03.020 my messages they have me on camera they accept it and he's like in their eyes you could see something

01:47:07.260 like fucking crazy i think mostly like retarded though aren't like most of them like actually

01:47:12.620 with kids what yo dude the last the last guy was talking about his own daughter it was so it was

01:47:16.860 tragic man it was no i just remember big j talking about like how they caught the same guy like

01:47:21.420 uh they kept catching the same dude like three four times in a row and it was like a midget i don't

01:47:25.500 know if you remember this one like he's like a fat little midget guy and they could be like

01:47:28.860 uh terry again i can't stop man i'm sorry i i can't even like watch those videos i just i like

01:47:37.820 one i have no interest in it but two it like it fucks with me to think that like that's actually a

01:47:42.060 thing that happens a lot and i know it does that's why i haven't read shane's article yet because i'm

01:47:45.980 like i don't really care to read about that because he's such a great he's such a great writer and i

01:47:50.140 cannot bring myself to read it because yeah i'm like i know it's gonna make me fucking disgust good

01:47:54.220 oh are you talking about the thing at the end of it no what yeah i thought you're talking about

01:48:01.500 because you said a great writer i was thinking stephen king at the end of it whenever they all

01:48:04.220 have the big orgy yeah yeah they gangbang a 12 year old or something oh clint does not know about

01:48:09.660 this that happens at the end of it at the oh my god yeah yeah they kill the clown they kill the clown

01:48:16.140 right they're in the sewers they're in the sewers they run a train on the girl

01:48:21.580 yeah just out of no like and what he said what i'm not lying this our hearts are all pumping from

01:48:27.340 battle it is it is literally and like and like it is apparently it's very graphic too it's like

01:48:31.980 extremely graphic like they all talk about the book in the book in the book yeah no they didn't put it

01:48:36.300 in the they didn't put child pornography in the movie i was like i was like i didn't watch that movie

01:48:40.220 and i'm pretty sure i would have never popped him out with midget actors dude i saw in the theater i

01:48:45.660 saw in the theater and i was so disappointed dude and so so that is what happens so they all they run

01:48:50.300 the train on the girl and i think they say like they he makes a point to say like the fat kid goes

01:48:54.300 last or some shit like that yeah it's weird you go last yeah chapter if you would have taken this

01:48:59.740 chapter out of the book the whole book doesn't change no it was just it doesn't and he said he he

01:49:04.540 put it in there and he says like he was like it was because it shows that they lost their innocence

01:49:09.100 because of it they lost it so then they're like they were hunted by a killer clown for

01:49:14.860 fucking eight other chapters you needed to add that part yeah very strange yeah he just wanted

01:49:20.060 the mystique the rest of his life whenever he goes to meet people who read his book where they

01:49:23.020 actually read the end or not loved it did you finish it tell me what happened at the end do you remember

01:49:31.980 it's so great because then he has to meet people and be like do they like it for like the scary movie

01:49:35.740 part are they like the for like the fucking the little kids part yeah well you know that's why

01:49:40.220 he's actually doing it though because he's actually one of those elite pedophiles so he's like trying

01:49:44.060 to find the people that actually finish the book hundred percent hundred percent it's like you've not

01:49:47.980 it's a better way it's a it's a pedophile easter egg if you that's what it is yeah and then they

01:49:52.780 find you they pick you up they bring you to epstein island with rfk and i have i have a really

01:49:58.700 important question number one uh toad will you sign up to be on love on the spectrum will you

01:50:05.500 please well am i qualified yeah yes yes yeah bro god we'll send in this show we'll send it better

01:50:14.940 off dead we'll send it better off dead okay guys this is am i qualified unbelievable that's that's

01:50:22.860 your question not if can anybody fall in love with your old autist lp member

01:50:30.380 start doing this for the sake of this show go viral on better off dead literally just

01:50:34.700 you have three like three or four floors go to a room you don't go to a lot jump off this

01:50:39.180 closet oh start the start better off dead do that next start better off dead i'm way too clean for

01:50:46.060 that okay okay okay this is this is the story that inspired me to believe that toad can find love

01:50:51.020 show so show sabbat this is fucking incredible sabbat all right so he's indian or something oh my god

01:50:57.900 it's indian toad he's 32 never had a girlfriend i am 32 and i have been single for 32 years

01:51:05.020 oh yeah my whole life he says it's my sister i've been on the autism spectrum since age five

01:51:13.020 how would you describe yourself wait wait not energetic

01:51:17.980 i wasn't born with this you know hey hey

01:51:20.060 i've i've typed two watts yo they fed this dude a down syndrome

01:51:28.540 they fed this dude a down syndrome syndrome

01:51:31.100 first first date he goes on they by the end of the series they are boyfriend girlfriend

01:51:36.380 i swear to god they're gonna they broke up they broke up though after he's smart and

01:51:40.620 sad g2 fucking retarded and are you looking for love yes i am looking for love rachel i got a question

01:51:49.180 to ask you yes sir okay they gave him a down syndrome ginger do you want to be my girlfriend she's kind of cute

01:51:56.540 i'm not gonna lie yeah dude she's not bad wow actually like she has like something like

01:52:01.820 coals like that's the girl that sucked my dick at that of course he said of course and it's gonna be a yes

01:52:05.980 wait pause it pause it he did it what if the girl what if the girl that gave cole head was that girl

01:52:16.540 and the boyfriend was sabato

01:52:22.380 i'll tell you what i know why she left her why he left her she can't suck dick for

01:52:26.060 trash head all right well obviously obviously toad is not willing but we'll talk him into it over

01:52:31.660 what's it um but the the point i wanted to make it was that you guys say you guys say and i'll grant

01:52:37.340 you perhaps you're right perhaps pedophiles cannot be satiated by little people however i think why not

01:52:43.980 try yes yes this is this is the premise i'm going with is that we should create a matchmaking service

01:52:50.940 for pedophiles with midgets and and make it make it a youtube series i think it'd be

01:52:56.460 fucking why don't we just enormously instead of doing the stings we just follow through with it and

01:53:01.340 whatever weird like you know 19 year old girl who's like pretending to be 12 like he actually

01:53:06.860 gets her now like and they just play out this fantasy and he has he never knows anything

01:53:11.420 differently yeah he just gets to go to town he gets to go to town on a midget and he thinks he's a

01:53:15.740 pedo it's perfect yeah no one knows no one's the wiser and we're win-win no real pedophilia happening

01:53:21.900 and he's happy it's a job program for midgets like get them off disability and fucking leeching off the

01:53:27.740 system you're gonna have to fuck this pedophile yeah we're talking about the like game shows

01:53:31.660 like that do you think uh y'all have been watching squid games and you won't shut the

01:53:34.540 up about it oh the finale's on tonight do not oh yeah dude do not spoil it i can't watch it i don't

01:53:41.180 i haven't watched it at all it's so crazy how like later the show it incentivizes for like women in

01:53:45.500 fact i was like i was going to ask do you think any of us could win the it's it's almost entirely

01:53:52.380 chance if it weren't if it was just about fucking pure like vicious will yeah i could absolutely

01:53:57.900 win well it's also a lot about social manipulation which like that's why it's later in the game the

01:54:02.140 women and like the gays are like fucking dominating yeah because it's like being able to understand

01:54:06.780 other people's like just all the social oh so you're saying toad would be out immediately at one

01:54:12.220 yeah he would survive because he would not be viewed as a threat

01:54:18.940 all the men get thrown out like right away all the big strapping dudes are gone by like day two

01:54:24.380 it's crazy the guy that the guy that has my choice to win he's very kaiser sose in this whole thing

01:54:28.780 like i thought he was retarded the whole time oh yeah and he was like the last episode too nice

01:54:33.580 that's how i was so when he was like it was you it was you i was like oh this motherfucker is like

01:54:37.020 really smart and he turns around and he points at them just like ian crossland would did you see

01:54:43.660 that like a gay magician and then he turns and he goes it was you yeah like a gay like i immediately

01:54:50.620 saw when he does like a gay anime magician that's what it was like tim i think do you think because

01:54:57.020 like if it's like the nice people are surviving do you think i would survive oh it's not probably

01:55:01.500 people but you're you're too jacked you get you get kicked off oh so i would have to go back to fat

01:55:05.180 coal yeah if you were fat you're so you're so likable and lovable and yeah you'd be fine

01:55:10.940 faculty you get to like the at least because i i like i like to think whenever i like i watch

01:55:15.900 survivor or i watch the amazing i think i could crush on amazing race i think i don't think i don't

01:55:20.700 know how you lose amazing race that's like seems like something so like i don't even know what it

01:55:24.460 is what is it you just have to not be a complete idiot it's the one where they surround the world

01:55:28.460 or something yeah yeah seriously no seriously and they do like challenges like at like they'll go to

01:55:32.780 like china like someplace in china do like and how do they get there do they have to swim no they have

01:55:37.660 to they actually so the people give them money they have to buy the tickets right yeah you have

01:55:42.860 to get on the right flight where the next place is to go and you have to uh figure out how to get

01:55:47.180 there yeah yeah okay and you know but like them navigate the globe kind of but they tell you where

01:55:52.300 you're going but it's not necessarily circumnavigating but like i mean i mean to circumnavigate the globe

01:55:57.020 in today's modern economy seems relatively they're still going it's still i think it's still on yeah it's

01:56:03.020 still on yeah it's a show about like the tsa like what are you talking about dude i've been

01:56:07.020 before yeah you have to go after 9-11 added down it's a real nightmare yeah yeah for your next

01:56:12.940 challenge uh cavity search when you land in china when you land in china it's really hard to read the

01:56:18.620 signs so you got to deal with that i just feel like it would be like like well the show would be

01:56:23.660 like we're going from nairobi fucking wherever and we're going to egypt and and like it literally

01:56:29.500 would be them you watching them travel and all the annoyances of travel and like the drama that

01:56:33.500 comes along but there is like that when they get to the place there when they get to the place they

01:56:38.460 have challenges at like the city or like where they're at they have to like go through and be

01:56:42.940 like oh you're in uh like peru you gotta herd these llamas and they like to go fucking herd llamas

01:56:48.540 or some shit like that it was kind of like stupid because it always be like and now we could tell

01:56:52.380 you about the cultural habits of the peruvian people yeah now there is there's the one viral moment

01:56:58.060 where the girl got hit in the face with the uh shut up toad there's that one uh there's that

01:57:03.740 there's that viral moment where the girl got hit in the face with the watermelon have you seen

01:57:06.860 that great oh yeah yeah yeah that's from amazing race that's from the amazing race and so that

01:57:12.540 actually happened mid-show like she pulls it back that was in chicago before we get out of here we

01:57:19.100 got to see bitch gets fucked up by watermelon that's all right yeah that's to go but did you guys hear

01:57:23.500 my joke that that was in chicago yes i got it yeah might as well been throwing fried chicken at

01:57:29.180 them too all right yeah long and hard do what you gotta do to make it go right into that guy this is

01:57:35.740 what everyone give up on me now please just focus i'm not giving up and it would have been funnier

01:57:45.020 no it's great because she gets like two or three good ones and she's like i know what i'm doing

01:57:49.820 this is it this is it oh you cheated on me linda you cheated on me linda

01:57:58.780 all right guys you can find me on no way jose oh wait for the wait for the slow motion it gets

01:58:04.540 great because they all absolutely crushes her dude it's a good thing with her at tower gang jose

01:58:10.460 there you go that's all i got i love it i love it when the game people have to come out and be like

01:58:15.740 you okay it's crazy that her face isn't totally destroyed how hard is a watermelon what a bad

01:58:21.660 bitch dude i would i would i would destroy her face how hard am i right now she's obviously married

01:58:28.460 to a cop the way she uh by the way i feel like clint dated the other one yeah i am going on

01:58:35.820 i am going on raven's show uh next week so look out for that i think you guys need to work on your

01:58:41.580 confidence not just your height 50 50 ought to be like every dude but anyways all right uh clint

01:58:46.780 russell host of liberty lockdown co-host entire gang and co-host of the best political show.com you

01:58:52.140 can find our episode we just had vincent o'shana of pbd on tonight over on uh rumble it's all one

01:58:58.780 word we are changing it was a great episode it's uh pbd's co-host he's been oh so like the like

01:59:04.300 like the like the sidekick guy one of the guido fucks yeah i bet tim cast can get pbd yo his energy

01:59:10.300 is through the roof it's really fun anyways check it out paul is back paul's back hey paul paul don't

01:59:16.780 you ever leave us again all right how dare you thanks we thought you were tower king coal tower

01:59:20.700 get coal and we're older now right yeah also like 30 years he smells like holy shit like actually like

01:59:26.780 holes like he's just like it's just like a lot of a shit full of holes like you're a boomer uh

01:59:31.980 uh paul don't back home day character cole on twitter um i was gonna say this uh i i used to

01:59:37.340 think i could be 50 50 until like i remember in college like there was this one girl i was trying

01:59:41.260 to hit on like she was like tall blonde girl and i went like we would like to the bowling alley

01:59:45.500 together like her with some friends i tried to hit on her and she paid me zero attention and from then

01:59:51.100 on i was like she it's because she couldn't see you you're very very yeah she was too tall honest to god

01:59:55.980 honest to god if you were my height and is jacked and if you were just you and you were my height

02:00:00.940 80 20. yeah wow wow yeah think about that damn you god

02:00:12.140 i was on uh kyle matovic's show today it was really fun with uh um with a guy from the lehman

02:00:17.580 college for studying uh sports science and it was really fun having a good if you wanted to hear

02:00:21.980 me talk about lifting and shit i'm i'm sorry i i know top got cut off i gotta say real quick uh

02:00:27.420 luke is going to be doing irl all next week so i will be hosting the show and uh money tuesday

02:00:32.540 wednesday the guests are anomaly james lindsey dave smith it's going to be a fantastic never heard of

02:00:37.500 don't miss it killer killer uh check out nephilim death squad i don't even know who we have next week

02:00:43.820 but we're actually you know check out the last episode we did um one of the craziest stories you'll ever

02:00:49.660 hear cole you're gonna listen to you don't want to listen to that one that was it's crazy we got

02:00:53.740 tony merkel coming up soon we're going to be on tinfoil hat we got a lot of cool things happening

02:00:57.260 merchengine.com top lobster.com follow me on twitter i was uh by the way i saw it i got the notification

02:01:02.700 on my phone but your actual show did not show up in my youtube subscription even though i'm subscribed

02:01:07.740 to y'all it was very weird yeah weird did you literally did not show up until it was after it's done

02:01:11.980 and i was it was it colin that came on yep okay cool hell yeah i think there was an intent behind

02:01:17.420 the mysteriousness but oh uh colin colin is he's wild he's crazy he is he's like i think he might be

02:01:25.260 more random oh he's uh he's uh he said he's going tony merkel uh contacted him oh yeah yeah that dude is

02:01:31.580 not gonna he's like he's a comedian like that that that he plays man that role that you read his twitter

02:01:37.500 it's fucking genius because we spoke to him for two hours and he's not like he's like a regular

02:01:42.700 dude but like you know he's not a regular dude he's like a character he's a character actor on

02:01:47.260 twitter he's a fucking character actor and something really strange in fairness he's a regular dude

02:01:52.300 according to top lobsters so yeah he's a regular dude that that like is in contact with mushroom

02:01:57.980 entities from higher dimensions dude it's crazy what's the episode i'm telling you yeah the guy that

02:02:03.660 talks about doing mushrooms every day is talking to mushroom people i mean no fucking way

02:02:12.140 just like you and me no you guys don't understand my mind is blown he talks to spirits guys hold on

02:02:18.620 wait i was going to segue to a good joke speaking of mushroom people i am toad tower

02:02:23.020 getting toad on twitter and i am the host of the better off dead show and uh the next guest is going

02:02:27.820 to be me you are you are indeed you are indeed a mushroom people oh yeah i will be doing that

02:02:34.220 and i'm going to be on uh ben weir's show again on sunday i guess never heard of him punk up yeah it's

02:02:39.100 going to be good only yeah oh all right well yeah whatever i'm going to be on the back of a pink

02:02:50.220 truck wait you closed the window the whole time i closed my blinds we just opened it up to be like

02:02:57.660 here's my location hey how excited are you the gta 6 is in uh miami no coal we're ending the show

02:03:03.820 it's been wednesday it's been waiting wait guys one more thing i just want to riff on it a little bit

02:03:12.300 hit the like button and if you go to church share this with your priest let's go

02:03:15.580 we're out hey what a fuck toad we'll see you next wednesday at 9 30. i think that's what we're

02:03:20.780 doing now peace out guys it's the tower power hour slut no way jose liberty lockdown

02:03:28.540 the tower power plant bitch reed

02:03:33.420 cole top lobster and toad tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang

02:03:40.060 tower gang tower gang tower gang liberty lock is truth say same with lobster cole and

02:03:45.180 jose toad is sick no way jose the tower power hour slum they made day toad all his tower gang

02:03:56.140 tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang they speak courage you sped

02:03:59.580 more than rogan you fed you fed truth bombs whether timcast hotel hotel more offensive

02:04:05.180 l o s no disrespect more offensive than l o s no disrespect tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang

02:04:11.260 It's so fucking hard to line up the syllables and all that.

Tower Gang - December 07, 2023

Ep 154 - Piss Closet Denier

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