Ep 155 - Sexual Healing
Episode Stats
Length
1 hour and 36 minutes
Words per Minute
204.15222
Hate Speech Sentences
187
Summary
Toad, Cole, and the rest of the crew are back with a new episode of Fucking You. They talk about a variety of topics including: 1. The Jews, 2. Ladyboy gymnastics, 3. The Thai Ladyboys, 4. Trump, 5. Thrasher Boyz, 6. The Chinese Ladyboyz, and 7. The Asian Ladyboys.
Transcript
00:00:24.420
What fucking way do you thrive in the spotlight?
00:00:48.760
So I can only fit a third of my dick into Toad's...
00:01:03.100
Have you guys ever had the mythical where they put the whole thing in and then do that shit where they're...
00:01:31.620
Can they help me show you how to properly inform a police officer that you're carrying a handgun in your vehicle?
00:01:46.560
9-11 bitch, Clint Russell, co-host of TheBestPoliticalShow.com as well as Liberty Lockdown.
00:01:51.540
We got Top Lobster, the host of Nephilim Death Squad as well as TopLobster.com.
00:01:59.440
We got the host of being the tiniest, most handsome little power lifter that's ever done and existed, a.k.a. Cole.
00:02:08.600
He's going to be doing his show tonight after this.
00:02:11.120
So we're going to try and run as long as possible so we commit suicide.
00:02:16.400
I love that Reed Coverdale made an appearance at the end of that intro.
00:02:28.400
I was expecting funny and I was just, I, like, you know you talk about Nephilim shit?
00:02:47.920
And you guys are in New York City and he's like, yo, let's go to one of these rub and tug
00:02:52.700
And there's a red light and there's like, you go down the stairs off a busy street.
00:02:59.700
You go in and they're like, they present you the ladies and those are the ladies.
00:03:03.760
They're like, I don't know what they're like, I don't know what they're like, I don't know.
00:03:06.300
Like, it's like, it's literally, it's literally off brand because apparently like the Thai
00:03:09.880
is supposed to be like the top, like the Thai ladyboys are the top.
00:03:14.760
I don't know what, what kind of Asian that would be.
00:03:17.480
Because I don't think they were, because the Thai ladyboys are supposed to be like,
00:03:20.040
I saw a video today on Instagram of like, it was this like, and then she doesn't say.
00:03:25.180
Are you saying that different, different ethnicities, ethnicities have better looking trannies?
00:03:30.860
Yeah, I think Thai is, I think Thai is number one.
00:03:32.460
I think that you're just saying that's the name brand for.
00:03:36.340
That'd be like Nike where they are like the Shaq shoes of like, of ladyboys.
00:03:47.060
That came out, they were like $30 and they had like Shaq dunking on them.
00:03:59.120
I know, you guys, it was a big deal for a lot of people like at the same time, but you
00:04:03.780
know how much of a big deal that was in Coney Island, where he was from?
00:04:07.440
It was like retarded, like there was just Starberry everywhere you go.
00:04:15.860
For those that are totally oblivious to what Tom is talking about, Stephon Marbury was
00:04:19.800
a starting point guard for the New York Knicks and he came out with these shoes and they
00:04:24.400
He was giving back, but they were made by slaves.
00:04:26.400
Yada, yada, yada, skip forward 20 years, he's got a statue in China.
00:04:33.060
That was the, I think one year, because whoever played like basketball for like a school, high
00:04:38.820
school, whatever, you would get like team shoes.
00:04:43.440
He and my buddy were like, these shoes suck ass.
00:04:46.620
He was the first big man, he was the first big man to ever be able to have his own shoe
00:04:50.700
because like no one wants to be the big man because no one's that big.
00:04:53.320
Well, they actually, he actually made them really cheap because he talks about the Shaq
00:04:59.980
And he was like, I made them because I could never afford shoes like Jordans.
00:05:03.320
How many times do you think Shaq flew to Epstein's Island?
00:05:33.480
We should all buy a set and rock it at Georgia.
00:05:40.560
We do influence culture enough to where I think we could make Shaq shoes cool.
00:05:50.920
I fucking guarantee if we all start rocking Shaq shoes 24-7, it's a thing.
00:05:55.640
Dude, you remember this because you're fucking old.
00:06:00.020
But I would misunderstand the assignment and I'd buy Shaq instead and then I'd start wearing burgers on my feet.
00:06:06.320
I'm just imagining Ray-Bans, Letterman jacket, jorts, the fucking Shaq shoes.
00:06:26.220
Well, all I'm going to say is that I didn't finish it because Toad wanted to tell his terrible Shake Shack joke.
00:06:31.720
But what I'll say is like you remember that Champion.
00:06:33.860
Champion was like fucking Walmart brand like stuff.
00:06:40.140
But today now Champion is like literally top of the line stuff that people want to buy.
00:06:53.160
He showed up to like a party of like there was like influencers at this party.
00:06:58.840
So now you're telling me, Clint, that you showed up.
00:07:06.300
Clint's like that's because I only wear shirts that describe me.
00:07:12.040
So you drove two and a half hours to go see something like whatever.
00:07:17.860
And then how much money do you have that you're buying a $70 Champion hoodie
00:07:33.900
Honestly, anything without a brand on it is like the shit I like to wear.
00:07:38.120
Contrary to all the shirts I wear because I'm trying to wrap my homies.
00:07:42.060
For the most part, I just wear like solid color shirts.
00:07:48.300
And people can hate on me for it, but that's what I like.
00:07:57.800
That's really what you're going to see Clint doing.
00:08:07.560
Laney says I stole a pair of Puerto Rico shoes in Florida once.
00:08:14.860
I'm realizing that Top is wearing the merch from, I believe, like the most Nephilim-esque...
00:08:21.860
Laney stole a bunch of 2x4s that they were going to make a boat out of.
00:08:43.900
We'll start with Jack Plissken, who sent us a picture of a tweet asking us when we're
00:08:54.700
I'm not either, but I don't know how funny he is, but apparently he badmouthed a 6-year-old
00:09:01.040
and told the 6-year-old that his mom is a whore on OnlyFans and that Santa doesn't exist.
00:09:21.340
He's like the upcoming edgy comic, and he is not edgy.
00:09:26.260
I watched his entire special because it was number one on Netflix.
00:09:37.460
Dude, he gets a special because he's fucking...
00:09:48.060
But a lot of Chris D'Elia fans were women because they thought he looked cute or hot.
00:09:53.160
And Matt Reif is way better looking than Chris D'Elia.
00:09:58.420
Except, I don't know, there has been some stuff about him doing plastic surgery to get that jaw line and shit.
00:10:10.560
I'm noticing the pattern of Toad's interjections.
00:10:40.740
But what you don't realize is that what I'm doing is actually...
00:10:45.120
No, what it is is a desperate, feeble attempt to be able to somehow get the other person to yield the stage.
00:10:54.140
No, but Matt Reif wishes he was Chris D'Elia, though.
00:11:01.100
Chris D'Elia was actually able to create like a harem, like thousands deep of underage women.
00:11:15.640
I saw that y'all did a stream without me, which is fine.
00:11:19.920
Afterwards, y'all were like, we're going to call this business meeting because everybody knows those are hilarious.
00:11:27.440
But, no, I said, I dropped in and I just said, like, it's going to be, it's Raven, who is completely conspiracy.
00:11:39.680
When you said that, that he's completely conspiracy, he didn't like that.
00:11:42.920
But it's like, he's like, it would be like saying, he's 80-20, you're 50-50, I'm 80-20.
00:11:48.200
And so, it all comes back to 50-50, where we should be on Tinfoil Hat.
00:11:53.360
Because, like, I mean, and I can go with a little bit conspiracy.
00:11:58.560
Guys, this is the best argument that we've gotten for this.
00:12:01.220
He's actually giving you hard statistics, graphs, shit like that.
00:12:04.780
I mean, in fairness, they're not hard statistics.
00:12:15.060
I think that's the biggest surprise, is that you actually got to 100.
00:12:30.700
Yeah, no, I'm trying to stir shit too, because I know that Toad gets upset about it.
00:12:34.440
I have to say, the best argument I have heard, though, is immediately, like, who said it,
00:12:37.420
is like, well, does he deserve, do you think he deserves it?
00:12:49.680
All I'm going to say is, whoever it is, I expect you to crush.
00:13:03.760
The other thing was, and I've done other podcasts, a lot of other podcasts.
00:13:07.740
Because when he's talking right now, I just think to myself, like, I don't want him on that show.
00:13:19.120
Maybe we should think about having the adults in the room.
00:13:21.420
The thing I do, and I do it consistently, is I take whatever show I'm on, and I make it Tower Gang.
00:13:41.680
I think me adding me to the combo balances it out.
00:13:44.420
But now adding you to the combo, lean it to the target.
00:13:54.900
And you'd be like, let me tell you about Terrence Yoki.
00:13:57.980
But no, that's actually part of why I think, like, if I come out, there's going to be obviously,
00:14:02.740
I feel like they're going to, like, feel like, let's talk about OKC.
00:14:07.240
Whereas then they can just go whatever weird way with those guys.
00:14:10.000
I feel like it's really important we don't do two episodes within 48 hours talking about
00:14:16.800
I wanted to bring it up because there's a caveat to this story, which is actually very funny.
00:14:20.920
So the tinfoil hat book or just book Nephilim Death Squad?
00:14:28.600
I was about to say, like, he said, I just want two guys.
00:14:34.440
I just made up some shit to generate, like, an hour and a half of content.
00:14:57.820
Like, when I put out a screenshot just showing, like, how well my show with Luke is doing,
00:15:02.120
he will DM me on Instagram going, like, fire emoji.
00:15:06.200
Like, he's just a fucking, he's a really nice guy, and I think he really likes us.
00:15:10.600
So all I'm asking is that if you go on there, you don't suck dick.
00:15:17.460
Which, no, by the way, which actual, because he does seven.
00:15:30.080
I don't think you're invited, but I don't know what reality is.
00:15:34.380
Can we talk about the OKC Thunder guy who fucked a kid?
00:15:39.640
Everyone, all you guys want to talk about is OKC shit.
00:15:46.780
Jose, Jose, can you link Josh Giddy, a player for the Oklahoma City Thunder, to the Oklahoma City bombing?
00:15:53.000
Because that would be the funniest, like, through line.
00:15:54.700
Dude, when you say Oklahoma City Fest, it's like you're not even attempting.
00:16:00.440
I'm like three of these sours in, they're really good.
00:16:11.300
You're going to be like that kid with the dumb dad.
00:16:14.160
That's going to be that kid in, like, fucking 15 years.
00:16:17.980
But you can come over and watch the game anyway.
00:16:35.240
He plays Oklahoma City Thunder, and he played for, was it Kentucky?
00:16:49.140
Well, it comes out, this girl puts out a bunch of videos, and she's like,
00:16:55.300
And it shows her, people have done some digging.
00:17:01.200
She was like a sophomore or junior in high school.
00:17:14.600
Cole, he actually got drafted straight from Australia.
00:17:21.220
Can you look up the page of consent in Oklahoma?
00:17:31.220
So she put out a bunch of videos that he is in.
00:17:35.960
Look, I'm going to decide based off of how attractive she is.
00:17:51.540
We got some news about Josh Giddey today, guys.
00:17:54.820
OKC Thunder star Josh Giddey is currently being investigated by the NBA, as you can see
00:18:02.700
And the reason why Josh Giddey is being investigated is because a lot of this stuff had came out.
00:18:08.740
As you can see right here, here's a screenshot from Twitter.
00:18:13.300
Josh Giddey has sent a screenshot to his girlfriend, the girl who is allegedly supposed to be a
00:18:19.920
minor that he is currently in a relationship with.
00:18:41.900
And as you can see right here, Liv Cook socials are all currently private.
00:18:51.480
But that's just the information that I have right here.
00:18:54.680
Let's move on to the next information that I have for you guys.
00:19:02.180
I think she was, I think they say she's either 15 or 16.
00:19:07.300
They could have met when he was like in high school.
00:19:15.840
Black people got way overconfident because Morgan Freeman is such a good narrator.
00:19:29.520
You know, like white people listen to Clint on Liberty Lockdown?
00:19:39.780
No, but like, do you think they listen to podcasts?
00:19:41.540
There's definitely like a black section of podcasts that black people listen to the podcast.
00:20:02.700
It's really just a bunch of guilty white dudes.
00:20:08.160
But yeah, I think Charlamagne Tha God is like the people that they listen to.
00:20:14.940
There is a very big thing up and coming of actual NBA and NFL players doing podcasts now.
00:20:20.520
And actually, it's pretty cool if you like sports.
00:20:33.120
Bro, like the last thing you want to listen to is a rapper do a show, a talk, ever.
00:20:39.820
The fresh and fit and all that shit is, is like basically that.
00:20:44.780
Those are upper middle class, light-skinned brothers.
00:21:05.740
Even his funny ones, like if he does have a good one, they still kill the flow.
00:21:13.840
Because we're so unaccustomed to it being funny that it's like, it's jarring.
00:21:19.940
We got to like slow down, acknowledge that he had a good one, and then like be like, where
00:21:27.600
I mean, can we point out that like whether or not she's 16, he was 18.
00:21:43.920
This is, black people have sex with like 13 year old girls.
00:22:09.020
He said that she was a 15 year old junior, which doesn't make any sense to me.
00:22:15.860
I don't know if she was, did they say junior or did I say junior?
00:22:30.620
Maybe it's different in Australia or is she from the U.S.?
00:22:49.340
Clint, not going to say it, but y'all just said it.
00:22:54.260
If she was ugly and she was of age, I'd condemn them.
00:22:56.840
Clint, what's the separation of age that bothers you the most?
00:23:01.640
So let's say you're 50 and you were dating a 23-year-old.
00:23:04.600
If they're within a few years of my age, disgusting.
00:23:16.480
So it's like 25 to 30 years is like, all right, let's slow down.
00:23:32.040
I start wondering if I'm doing the right thing when she's 12.
00:23:46.040
It's like when you're on the highway and then like.
00:23:49.300
You're on the highway and then like, I don't know, like half a mile ahead, you see some
00:23:52.880
red lights and you're like, I might start slowing down here now.
00:24:05.860
I'm just waiting at this red light for five years.
00:24:09.260
Toad, what's your age gap that you say too much?
00:24:26.240
Dude, if you're like 75 years old and you can swing an 18 year old, then you're a fucking
00:24:33.560
What if you're 75 and she's one day before her 18th birthday?
00:24:39.360
Here's the thing is I don't think 75 and 18 is as weird as 50 and 18.
00:24:47.160
No, because I think at 75, you're so far off that it's just like this dude is not even
00:24:56.080
Like, he's just literally just around her because he thinks she's hot.
00:24:58.680
At 50 and 18, you're still banging that chick and she is the age of your daughter.
00:25:05.580
Would you let your daughter marry a 75 year old?
00:25:08.540
Because he's going to die and she's going to inherit as well.
00:25:17.200
Oh, that was another part of this is I think up until a little bit ago, they weren't pressing
00:25:23.500
And I don't think they even are pressing charges at all.
00:25:30.040
It's a civil because the because they got the they got the lawyer that defended the
00:25:47.640
And I think what Cole is alluding to, though, is like there's like the Benjamin Button rule.
00:25:51.640
I think like once you get past a certain age, it's like you become young again.
00:25:57.200
Like once you're like 75, I just I just don't you're like you're like mentally like a child
00:26:03.420
Because at 50, like you're fucking 18 year olds.
00:26:06.960
And that's just like it's there's something totally different at 75.
00:26:15.120
I was thinking, too, I was like, but I'm still going to be fucking at 75.
00:26:18.700
I was thinking I was like, we could we could shop this.
00:27:03.980
I don't want to have to watch all the shows that the girl hasn't seen because she was too young.
00:27:10.100
I don't want to have to go back and re-watch The Sopranos.
00:27:12.600
So just, you're saying out of pure laziness, but like, what's in your heart?
00:27:17.200
Oh, I mean, if I could find some prodigy bitch.
00:27:19.860
If I could find some prodigy bitch who's 17 that's watched everything, I mean.
00:27:24.440
It's always fun to watch something with somebody that hasn't watched it before.
00:27:54.540
Like, I don't have any more answers than you do.
00:28:23.480
Because both of you guys are agreeing right now.
00:28:29.540
I wouldn't have married my wife if she would have done that.
00:28:36.720
But I'm just imagining the kind of life that you guys have to live through.
00:28:58.180
We just had to read the plot of everything before we watched anything.
00:29:09.740
Not to judge whether or not she wanted to watch it.
00:29:12.000
But she doesn't want to be surprised about anything.
00:30:49.780
Anybody else chick actually watch Hallmark movies?
00:31:19.540
I wonder what the man from the city and the woman from the like the small hometown is going
00:31:57.480
You just have to appreciate the content when it's there.
00:32:29.360
Like I feel like that's what Toad would be as a boxer.
00:32:34.500
But then occasionally I actually hit something.
00:32:54.660
Because we could actually make some of this stuff happen.
00:33:50.520
I want to make sure that I leave a serious Google mark.
00:33:54.260
Tower Gate versus Team Rattlesnake would actually go hard.
00:34:12.820
After seeing Lewis' latest fights, I think he could probably beat me up.
00:34:31.400
If we schedule a fight with Lewis, though, I feel like you would actually practice and
00:34:38.940
Dude, I would sauce and get put on so much fucking bulk.
00:34:54.040
Jose, you need to work on your height, not your bulk.
00:34:58.960
No, I've met Lewis a few times and he is about an inch shorter than me.
00:35:07.100
So you're admitting to sizing him up when you walked up to him.
00:35:12.340
Because I was with one of my exes outside the comedy store in LA and he put his arm
00:35:17.120
around her when I was saying hi and I was like, hmm, what's up, son?
00:35:23.720
You don't size up every man you come across like immediately subconsciously?
00:35:53.540
He's like, I'm 145 pounds and I'm like, but you still look fat.
00:35:57.560
In the other pictures, I'm like, he's like, look at how fat I am now.
00:36:00.400
And he's like, but look how skinny I was before.
00:36:03.260
You're just smaller, but still the same shape somehow.
00:36:08.220
Yeah, I'm like a big ball and I just deflated it a bit.
00:36:24.280
What's crazy is he was giving me massive shit about my testosterone.
00:36:29.160
And you look at him and you're like, clearly you're just immersed in estrogen.
00:36:33.260
They literally have to be because I don't know if you remember when the...
00:36:42.440
He's getting like all the bad side effects of testosterone.
00:36:45.720
We're right in the sweet spot where he's like, oh yeah, I get this fucking juice.
00:36:50.620
He's like, oh, you're going to get a heart attack.
00:36:57.920
Like your body knows whenever it needs to like up something to make...
00:37:01.240
It knows like, hey, you don't have enough muscle.
00:37:03.820
The problem is Toad just doesn't build muscle at all.
00:37:10.760
So it's like his body is telling him, please build muscle and you can.
00:37:15.980
Jose, confirm or deny you eat monkey chow from the fucking supply?
00:37:21.640
But for real, Toad, would you be willing to do like...
00:37:24.960
Say we had set up some sort of like influencer fight or something.
00:37:37.140
In terms of weight class, it's top versus Toad is really where the weight class is at right now.
00:37:43.440
He looks like two chicken breasts that kept growing in his sweater.
00:37:53.600
Toad, how do you think the fight would go against me?
00:38:40.100
Yeah, you definitely would want your opponent to be taking too much effort.
00:38:45.440
You're saying, no, I won't do it because I'm afraid I'll hurt her?
00:38:56.620
You're going like, jeez, that is too much of a disadvantage.
00:38:59.680
Dude, I want to see Lainey Habermack versus Toad.
00:39:05.940
Lainey would wreck everyone on this stage right now.
00:39:16.700
I think Lainey wins, but I'm just saying, like, it'd be a good fight.
00:39:19.560
No, Lainey hurts you in ways that you didn't know that you could be hurt before from a boxing match or something.
00:39:33.780
Let's say there was a pot where we all came out with, like, $1,000 after it, but you had to fight some other influencer.
00:39:52.160
Now, the problem is, Toad, that you're going to have to...
00:39:55.700
Now, Toad, you're going to have to deal with that he has just lost his wife.
00:40:02.520
Like, he's going to be in the gym, and, like, on that forbidden pre-workout.
00:40:24.300
If I'm fighting Destiny, it sounds like I'm a...
00:40:29.280
If Toad was to do a celebrity fight at the Georgia convention, would y'all come?
00:40:41.020
I just want to get Toad in some sort of influencer fight.
00:40:53.980
I mean, he would have to make it to the show made money or something off of it.
00:40:57.260
And it wouldn't just be, just beat the shit out of him for fun.
00:40:59.340
A lot of people are saying, Destiny, Sarah Higdon.
00:41:16.740
I think she's going to be willing to fight you for free now.
00:41:27.840
It's going to be the last convention that Georgia ever holds.
00:41:31.360
Dude, even if you're such a scrawny motherfucker, I can take that.
00:41:48.460
And then also my work is just like, we're going to have to let you go.
00:41:58.680
But like, ironically, it started off in the spirit.
00:42:11.760
And now you're just going to go ahead and joke like this?
00:42:15.000
Oh, I'm not allowed to advocate for violence in communist America.
00:42:25.100
It's like there's so many people that I could fight.
00:42:35.580
Let's leave it like that until I have a fucking autistic spurt out.
00:42:43.440
Like if somebody leaves during the show, it feels like this.
00:42:50.960
I want to hear what he thinks he can do to Toad.
00:42:52.940
Yeah, and maybe he brought some topics, unlike Toad.
00:43:07.680
I love the understated confidence is the best way to go with it.
00:43:34.120
Have you ever seen cyclists pull over and then start a fight with each other?
00:43:47.960
No, I think Toad beats her up because Josie's very, like, she's dainty.
00:43:57.000
I wouldn't want to do that because I'd be concerned.
00:44:00.820
Do you think Toad would be able to fight with all that blood rushing to his penis?
00:44:08.600
Yeah, yeah, because then I wouldn't be thinking about it, so I might do better.
00:44:13.800
All right, Tyler, would you participate in an influencer fight for the gang?
00:44:23.240
Imagine the cuts you could do to someone's head whenever you headbutt them with that
00:44:29.200
That shit looks like a knife on the top of your head.
00:44:32.760
You know how difficult that would be to headbutt, like, most of you in here?
00:44:35.260
Because I'd have to bend way over when you get on my knees.
00:44:44.620
Top's like you get one insult and you're out of here.
00:44:47.920
While I was pissing, I had, like, a thought, and I wanted to ask Jose, because Jose, you're, like, an evolutionist, right?
00:45:07.040
If Jose's an evolutionist, he can't come on tinfoil hat.
00:45:34.180
Yeah, this is crazy, because this whole time he was like, I'm an atheist, so I don't know.
00:45:37.880
Well, the problem is if I say yes, I support the theory of evolution, then people go,
00:45:44.600
Because now I'm supposed to then defend abiogenesis or some bullshit.
00:45:57.180
He has to stay as far away from TFH as possible.
00:45:59.120
So my question to you as an evolutionist, Jose, is how long did it take the human male body
00:46:04.260
to evolve, to have that twist in their P-stream out of their penis?
00:46:12.860
Yeah, to give it the precision and the accuracy.
00:46:16.820
I mean, if I had to concoct a theory, I would think that's the last little shot when you're
00:46:31.740
It's just spraying all over the place because they don't have the twist.
00:46:36.440
If you're a woman watching this, yes, whenever we pee, there is like right at the tip, right
00:46:44.700
I just noticed this, and I thought this was like—
00:46:49.380
They always go, oh, something comes from nothing.
00:46:53.560
And then they go, if evolution's real, then why don't we see fucking the intermediate
00:47:00.900
And then you look at Toad, and you're like, there it is.
00:47:18.540
I think that's kind of where I fall on it, yeah.
00:47:21.980
Because the twist in my piss as it comes out of my dick has to be there.
00:47:29.900
Are you saying that your dick hole is the perfect funnel for it to come out of?
00:47:39.900
My dick is perfectly rifled, so therefore there's a gun.
00:48:03.640
Seriously, do you guys get when you pee in two streams?
00:48:07.760
It's like usually the following day after coming.
00:48:09.940
It's if you have sex like the night before, and then you sleep that night, you don't piss afterwards, you're waking up.
00:48:16.040
I've done that while drunk, and then I woke up the next day and realized that half of my pee stream was on the floor.
00:48:25.160
I was peeing in the dark, so I could hear it hitting the water, but it was also hitting the floor.
00:48:36.160
I love that split second of, oh shit, he actually let me talk.
00:48:47.020
I'm going to go back and clip that whole part and just isolate you trying to interject because it was so much of that until Toad let you go.
00:49:03.420
The other thing I've had to happen yesterday was whenever you're taking a shit and you piss and you don't realize that your dick is at the level of in between the top seat and the actual toilet.
00:49:18.300
Are you so short that you have to get on your tiptoes not to piss in between the toilet seat and the bowl?
00:49:23.220
No, no, when I'm taking a shit, I'm sitting down, asshole.
00:49:29.200
No, and my dick is perfectly perpendicular to that gap in between the toilet seat and the toilet, and I piss on my leg right out of it.
00:49:49.920
Does your dick sit on your balls and point straight forward?
00:49:52.260
Is your dick ever touching the top of the bowl there?
00:49:58.780
He sits down, his balls come, and then his dick just kind of points forward.
00:50:04.260
It's like Cole's dick is so small that it's like—
00:50:10.860
Like, I was—because usually, like, you know, you're hitting whatever, like—
00:50:13.700
Wait, were you erect, or is your dick that tiny?
00:50:15.480
No, I wasn't—I wasn't—my dick's not tiny, Jesus.
00:50:18.520
Your dick points straight forward when you sit down?
00:50:22.360
It wasn't pointing straight forward, so it's kind of like—
00:50:25.320
Dude, you probably had his legs kind of close in, so it was holding his nuts up, and his
00:50:30.520
Just kind of pointing forward like a little tank just straight forward.
00:50:37.260
I was like, do you sit down and close your legs to shit?
00:50:45.440
It's not straight forward because, listen, it has to be pointed down.
00:50:48.640
Because, like, the shit's coming out of his asshole, and it's massaging his asshole.
00:50:59.760
The gap in between the toilet seat and the toilet is lower than where I'm sitting at,
00:51:24.260
Like, when you sit down to take a shit, you make sure that your dick is pointing downward
00:51:33.680
Is it because your quads are so enormous that your dick sits on your quads?
00:51:37.660
Actually, it might be because I'm sitting so high up that, like, it was—
00:51:41.780
Even when it's pointing down, it's still shooting out of the—
00:52:00.620
It's pointing down, but at the angle it's at and where I'm sitting up so high because
00:52:06.440
See, I have such a small ass that if I sit down, like, my dick would have to be pointing
00:52:11.980
straight forward for me to piss through the toilet seat.
00:52:14.880
Clint, does your dick hit the water a lot sometimes?
00:52:19.260
All right, so my best friend in elementary school, Eric, his dad, Dave, he would clown
00:52:29.240
me, and he would talk about—because my voice was really high, and he'd be like,
00:52:35.520
And I was like, I don't know what that means, but I sussed out that your balls extend downward
00:52:43.080
And I was like, so by the time my voice changed, or like my voice started to crack, but my ball
00:52:52.000
And I told a story to him, a total lie, because I just wanted to get him to leave me alone.
00:53:00.400
So I just made up this story, and I said, I said, hey, Dave.
00:53:08.900
I was 12 years old, and I told him, I told him, hey, Dave, don't you hate it when your
00:53:14.580
fucking balls just hit in the toilet water when you're taking a shit?
00:53:18.720
Like, do you know how fucking enormous your testicles have to be for them to hit the water
00:53:27.660
They'd have to hang like seven inches, eight inches far down.
00:53:30.400
And I was 12, and I told him that because I wanted him to think that I had gone through
00:53:36.720
Guys, I want to address that rumble chat right there.
00:53:42.280
I hope more people log in accidentally and say, what the fuck is this shit?
00:53:46.460
And if you haven't pissed on your leg when you were taking a shit, are you not living
00:54:00.060
Is your dick like an inflatable arm wacky wild man that just goes?
00:54:06.740
The thing is, we saw his dick, and it was like a good size.
00:54:08.760
But now I'm imagining just like basically right to the skin.
00:54:21.320
If I'm like post-beat, my dick can touch the water.
00:54:34.580
Do you touch the top of the bowl or do you touch the porcelain?
00:54:43.780
If your dick, if you're in a public bathroom and your dick was there, how long would it hang?
00:54:48.980
Would it touch the top of the bowl or would it touch, would you get some porcelain?
00:54:56.980
Like after you tie a water balloon, it's just that little thing.
00:54:59.460
And he's like going like this and just peeing wherever.
00:55:16.500
I thought this was going to be a unanimous, like, man thing.
00:55:23.940
Wouldn't that be cool if women actually talk like men, then we could know some funny – because I bet they have some funny shit, right?
00:55:32.320
No, because I feel like they do talk – because I remember Elizabeth and her –
00:55:40.160
Like the girls in college, they do talk about and show weird shit.
00:55:57.220
They're like a bunch of scientists exploring with their body.
00:55:59.960
As a guy, if a guy was like, hey, I can just like fart on command.
00:56:03.460
We're like, that's the funniest shit I've ever heard.
00:56:09.420
Because Elizabeth told me that her roommate could queef on command.
00:56:14.800
Like she could just sit there and fucking queef whenever she wanted to.
00:56:19.700
We would never know this because like girls would never do that around us.
00:56:24.160
And it was a girl that you would like be like, no fucking way that girl – no way.
00:56:31.440
Ladies in the chat, tell us something that women can do that we would find funny that you guys don't talk about.
00:56:35.140
Ladies in the chat, tell us if you queef on command.
00:56:38.520
If you can, we will bring you on screen to queef right now.
00:56:43.740
How were you not on the toilet for – you said you sat down on the toilet.
00:56:54.240
They will actually sit on the edge of the toilet like it's a bench.
00:56:59.360
This is also the same lady who pissed the bed until 14.
00:57:05.220
Maybe she's got like one of those front-mounted vaginas.
00:57:07.880
It's like your pussy's been in the same place in your whole life.
00:57:17.940
I'm trying to think of how you could possibly sit so shallow on the toilet that you piss on the floor.
00:57:26.560
She's telling us shit that I didn't – it was middle of night.
00:57:30.820
It was middle of the night, so I didn't sit all the way on the toilet.
00:57:34.780
Yeah, the only way you could do that is if your ass was like barely on the screen.
00:57:42.180
Yeah, I can suppose you're a streamer who's about to have to fight Laney.
00:57:46.540
Half on the toilet against the wall and like you're fucking peeing off the side.
00:57:55.320
It was like that moment whenever you feel it in the club and it's like literally like when you're at the urinal and you just have your hand and you're just like this.
00:58:03.860
That's the best like feeling when you're clubbing like it all starts.
00:58:06.940
And you're just – and then you're pissing a ton.
00:58:11.740
Dude, that moment is – yeah, when you have not pissed in such a long time, you go and you do it and you're just –
00:58:17.700
It's the longest piss ever and you have to like put your hand out to like steady yourself.
00:58:22.980
That's the closest Toads ever came to actual sex.
00:58:26.500
Women's bathrooms are notoriously known to be filthier than men's bathrooms.
00:58:31.420
It's like they'll be like piss and shit and blood on the wall.
00:58:36.020
Yeah, even though they have a couch in their bathrooms.
00:58:38.240
Anybody else like actually dealt with women's bathrooms besides me?
00:58:43.260
I've gone – I've used it at the bar because – like I don't even agree with Top's assessment at all.
00:58:48.040
Like the men's bathroom is always a fucking –
00:58:51.600
I worked – when I worked at the water park, one of my jobs was to clean the bathrooms, both men and women's.
00:59:00.260
And like if you don't know this, they have tampon boxes.
00:59:03.820
They have boxes in their stalls that are just – they put the tampons in.
00:59:08.520
Oh, so they're just throwing them at the wall and shit?
00:59:18.180
No one gives – really no one gives a fuck because you're already wet.
00:59:20.720
So you're like if I need to wash off, I just go back in the pool.
00:59:23.760
So like they're just doing whatever they fucking want to do.
00:59:26.320
You know, the main reason – like I think the best scientific evidence for women being inferior,
00:59:31.660
despite their lower IQs and their lack of leadership qualities –
00:59:49.200
I think they have better hand-eye coordination.
01:00:00.340
But setting all of that aside, which is a pretty damning case –
01:00:04.180
Which is a pretty damning case as to their inferiority.
01:00:06.100
But if you add to that the fact that they bleed for multiple days per month,
01:00:10.060
it's like they're evolutionarily behind us in a multitude of ways.
01:00:16.620
Or God set them there because he knew that they were worse than us.
01:00:20.840
Well, this is the problem with the country in general.
01:00:24.480
I'm just absolutely putting them in their place.
01:00:26.940
I have to have a creationist explanation to my misogyny.
01:00:36.300
Once you take a creature like what Clint just described,
01:00:38.700
if you didn't know what women and men were in modern day times,
01:00:43.280
and you're like, this thing bleeds all the time,
01:00:48.460
You'd be like, why am I keeping one of these around?
01:00:59.180
And then you're like, wait, but my homeboy also has a hole.
01:01:06.700
He's keeping that hole so that way he knows what other little shit that comes out the hole.
01:01:24.940
It used to be the thing of like, hey, I need to fucking get all these crops done this year.
01:01:32.980
It's like, all right, I know how I can get more manpower.
01:01:37.760
Right, but like, it's like, I can fuck my homie's hole just for, that's just entertainment.
01:01:41.960
But like, this hole over here is entertaining and I get labor out of it.
01:01:46.420
This is when you mix your fruits with your labor.
01:01:54.700
John Locke was talking about sex the whole time.
01:02:00.840
I'm telling you though, that hole fucking manipulates everything.
01:02:07.980
So the woman is the hole that you keep there to just keep going.
01:02:10.940
In our society, we're like, I'm going to take that hole that is just there.
01:02:18.600
Like, like Cole was saying, I'm going to give that thing a corporate job.
01:02:32.220
And the hole's job at like, at the company is to fire and hire other people.
01:02:43.940
That's not capable of doing any of the higher up jobs.
01:02:52.620
If I was going to build a system that I wanted to fail, I'd do it exactly like that.
01:03:07.540
But she does need a degree from a no-name school in Florida.
01:03:12.580
She has to go to a school in Florida that has 1,000 students that she can get her whatever degree.
01:03:35.960
I thought he was going to steal Magoo's joke here because I saw this right when he was
01:03:42.300
But when you think about it, though, after we add up all of the quotients as to why women
01:04:19.260
By your third O, I'm already playing Warzone with the boys.
01:04:29.120
There's been times where Cole came on and he'll sit there and he'll go, just had sex.
01:04:33.120
And I was like, your kid goes to sleep at seven.
01:04:40.360
And now he's on with the homies and you're mad.
01:04:42.840
She's mad, like, live tweeting on Tauri and fucking Cole.
01:04:49.820
It's even a little bit more ridiculous than that because it'll be like, Cole, like, message
01:04:56.500
something in the chat and then, like, ten minutes later, I'll come back.
01:05:13.920
But anyways, the point I was trying to get to is that, like, after you add up all of
01:05:16.980
these, you know, really justifiable reasons that women are inferior, it kind of makes sense
01:05:24.240
Like, that they're so egotistical and narcissistic because you're like, the whole world's stacked
01:05:31.960
Like, I'd be fucking, I'd be pissed off all the time, too.
01:05:35.840
Like, the world has created, like, gravity has created such a way against women that it's
01:05:41.980
And then, on top of that, you're also retarded.
01:05:50.260
Black people have the same, you know, series of unfortunate events that have led to their,
01:06:15.140
You ever seen a black dude leaving a riot after stealing a flat-screen TV?
01:06:20.000
I was about to say, I was like, the happy black dude, it's like, if you see a happy black dude,
01:06:25.860
You ever seen that video of these two black dudes at an outside restaurant, and they're
01:06:28.620
laughing so hard, they're just slapping, and they're throwing the tape, and they're
01:06:31.680
destroying the whole restaurant, because they're that happy.
01:06:36.440
They're all, like, the chat is absolutely destroying you.
01:06:41.120
Well, it's bad, because you can't win, because if you see a happy black dude,
01:06:45.000
you should be concerned because of what just happened, but if you see an angry black dude,
01:06:48.640
you should be concerned because of what's about to happen.
01:06:54.260
In fairness, I was literally just trying to transition from misogyny to racism, so I
01:07:05.180
The misogyny felt like it would get us in trouble, right?
01:07:12.900
It was as deep a cut as I could actually come up with, so I was like, let's go to the
01:07:20.480
It wasn't even on our docket for today, but it was...
01:07:30.000
Twitch has just decided because there was a girl that did...
01:07:41.800
I think she's AI, though, because Twitch came out today and said that artistic nudity
01:07:59.920
It was like from the top of the cleavage up, and then she was sweaty.
01:08:06.200
Tyler will pull it up, but before that, let's talk about our sponsor for this evening.
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01:08:36.960
Yeah, I would order that now, too, because I know that it's a couple days from Christmas,
01:08:41.040
coming up against the wall, but I'm pretty sure that Andrew can get them out the door.
01:08:45.260
Real shit, if you haven't got a gift for your dad or your mom or your sister who's got a mustache,
01:08:51.080
Why do you always go to suicide as the joke and not like we can actually use this to kill other people?
01:09:11.980
Have you not seen the TikToks and the Instagram videos of all the people making...
01:09:17.340
Guys, if you're in jail and you're watching this right now, say 123 in the chat.
01:09:29.880
Now that I'm looking at it, everybody was saying that she looks like a dude.
01:09:35.080
That looks like Michaela Peterson on a fucking test cycle.
01:09:52.940
Because Twitch has already gone through this thing because they were doing...
01:09:55.400
They, like, cracked down, like, really hard on women streamers that were, like...
01:09:59.820
They would be in a hot tub, like, in bikinis and shit.
01:10:10.660
Wait, because of this chick, Twitter is allowing this now?
01:10:16.300
Yes, because they banned her and then, like, people, like, got really upset because she technically
01:10:23.160
I mean, but that's not artistic nudity because she's not even...
01:10:29.640
She was just standing there and every time someone paid her...
01:10:32.640
She was, like, doing, like, live and she would be, like, yeah, like, shaking her tits.
01:10:35.840
I heard an interesting theory about it is that, like, she was trying to circumvent
01:10:40.020
because the rest of the porn sites that are, you know, user-generated are oversaturated.
01:10:46.120
So, like, that's the reason that they're going to these different platforms and trying to circumvent the rules.
01:10:49.560
It's also really easy on Twitch to be monetized to where people can give you, like, you can make, like, three grand, like, you know, in an hour
01:10:59.260
And so if you just, like, it's not like other, like, a, you know, a web chat thing.
01:11:03.220
If there's, like, an attractive woman out there that's not rich as fuck, it's crazy.
01:11:13.040
It was, like, guys will, like, will grind for years and set up multiple income streams and invest in the market
01:11:18.620
and then, like, to make, like, a hundred grand a year where women will literally just show their pussy
01:11:29.800
It almost offsets all of their other, like, retardation.
01:11:35.840
So, really, if women aren't doing that, they're retarded then because they have that option.
01:11:39.880
Would you trade infinite wealth, but you have to be as dumb as a woman?
01:11:45.040
But the thing is, like, most of them, because, like, what happened with Andrew Tate,
01:11:49.000
it's, like, they're still too stupid to monetize themselves.
01:11:53.320
So an incel is just, like, someone who is involuntarily celibate.
01:11:56.840
This bitch could probably make enough money to not work.
01:11:58.940
For 23 hours a day with cheetah dust and empty Mountain Dew cans all around them.
01:12:05.480
And it just has a real stank smell that is involved with these people.
01:12:20.900
And you could just see the fedora just hanging off your life.
01:12:26.720
All right, there's a point at which you become so fat, your tits get small.
01:12:36.400
It's like they buckle under the weight or something.
01:12:42.120
Because they're probably still, like, double Ds.
01:12:45.000
It's that in proportion to the other, like, they look small.
01:12:48.340
And that's, like, when you know, like, you're way too fat.
01:12:50.640
There's some women that just, like, put, like, no matter how fat they get, it just all goes to their tits.
01:13:01.640
But his, like, lower section is always, like, a size 30 pants.
01:13:07.100
No matter how fat he gets, his arms and his legs are, like, paper.
01:13:16.380
And he literally was, like, it was just, like, huge belly, like, beer belly, like, fat fucking guy.
01:13:20.980
And then pants where, like, it looked like the belt was around, like, the mid-thighs because, like, his ass was just straight down.
01:13:31.020
Are these people even human beings or are they just NPCs?
01:13:33.720
Like, the people that gain weight in these funny ways?
01:13:36.320
Like, is your body that retarded that it's, like, put all the fat just right there?
01:13:39.620
Where, like, the actual computer that's doing all the simulation is just, like, fuck, I can't do it.
01:13:55.560
Too much computing power to, like, evenly distribute the fat among this non-player character.
01:14:01.900
They have, like, 80%, like, fat, like, on their body.
01:14:07.900
Toad, how do you have a 32-inch waist with a 50-inch face?
01:14:14.240
Tyler, pull up the video from the chat that I sent.
01:14:17.140
All my fat goes to, like, my stomach, my face, and my tits, basically.
01:14:37.900
Dude, I look like a fucking, like, grape or something that you stuck, like, little twigs into.
01:14:49.460
I'd find a way to get milk out of them titties.
01:14:59.880
I can tell there's one in here that it's, uh, taking up a lot more, uh...
01:15:23.020
uh is it red green blue yeah no wait red what are you talking about rgb yeah what's the rgb number
01:15:30.300
on uh the people of those 50 guys what's that mean oh yeah zero zero zero yeah there you go
01:15:35.820
see this is this is a joke just for top sorry just for the just for the graphic artists zero zero zero
01:15:41.100
is all black yeah yes i do cs dude i do i do see no color i was thinking she said she said uh
01:15:49.740
she 50 or 60 and i was like 50 or 60 times three eighths like how many how many black men actually
01:15:56.380
is that because it's more than six three-fifths yeah yeah so that's like 90. no no three-fifths
01:16:03.260
of 50 would be 30. i was thinking about three-eighths the size of course sounds more fair
01:16:10.860
he's more racist than the founders of our country
01:16:12.940
that i think three-fifths was pushing it it's like you gave them five fists yeah like actually
01:16:19.740
this should be a three-eighths three-eighths would be 15. so she's only had sex with 15 men
01:16:25.180
no that would mean that she would have to have more if they were each worth three-fifths so you're
01:16:29.660
saying that no wait so you're saying black men count for more when you're having sex that actually
01:16:34.060
makes sense there's an adverse wear and tear when you're a black dude no no you're retarded you just
01:16:39.260
you're not doing the math no i am you're not one black person is three-fifths and she had sex with
01:16:43.900
50 people then that means that she had sex with 70 black oh i see i get what you're saying okay okay
01:16:50.620
no go ahead go ahead jose i was just thinking about you're saying the inverse thing like i care
01:16:55.340
five-thirds as much if my wife gets rid of my breakfast and by a white dude three-fifths would be
01:17:00.540
uh would be 1.67 per uh partner which would put it approximately at 90 to 100 yeah got you
01:17:09.020
did toad just leave i think toad left what the fuck fuck yeah
01:17:14.860
we did it all right we did it oh god we are about to go off let's go we're about to launch
01:17:25.900
real what do you think actually do you think she's telling the truth or she's just lying for clout
01:17:29.980
real i i because i i don't know oh that fat bitch yeah i think that maybe people
01:17:34.380
her for real you think 50 guys her yeah i think dude some dirty dogs that want to get their
01:17:41.980
dick away out there so that's how easy it is it's how easy it is to be a woman like that that can
01:17:52.860
can you imagine if the show was so was so successful that you could just go on twitter
01:17:56.460
right now that's true it was a hashtag toad lips it was it was 50 jose's it was it was 100 50 jose's
01:18:02.300
that's just like at the end of the night they were like uh i'm usually into girls that are 250 but three
01:18:07.740
bills uh i mean like it's late to do yeah it's like no but like three it's like as the night gets
01:18:13.980
later like you add 10 pounds for every 30 minutes that the night goes on like you're just
01:18:18.220
but finally like gorlock is literally a dude and she has had sex with dozens of dudes no
01:18:25.980
fucking way i bet you i bet you so it's a lost internet what the whole people are gonna take
01:18:31.180
it like that's just the law of the universe there yeah if you're a bitch yeah that's all about the
01:18:39.020
only thing she can throw see like if now if a guy if toad said that his body count was 56 he'd be
01:18:46.940
like oh i don't even consider it no i'd be like i'd be like yeah i i have a i have an addiction to
01:18:52.460
prostitution as well i understand you can find me the grossest bitch and it's not that unbelievable
01:18:58.140
from them be like yeah i've been reeled out like 30 times like there are people depraved enough to
01:19:02.300
fuck any hole but it's like this to me so that's why it's not impressive when like there's no impressive
01:19:07.740
if anything it's disgusting this is the only reason that women continue to thrive because if
01:19:12.380
men actually were able to like like consolidate and be like yeah we don't we can't be fucking these
01:19:17.500
these ugly bitches even though men are kind of like you know stop stop doing that yeah
01:19:23.820
actually top that's a great point because i always see these posts particularly from women that i don't
01:19:27.980
like where they'll be like women have to you know i'm not going to lower my standards men have to
01:19:32.780
fucking get in line and the reality is if men had standards women would be in trouble
01:19:39.740
fucked you guys would be you would have to be you would have to go on your own merits
01:19:44.140
yeah okay good luck good luck imagine if you had to go on your own merits it's wild whenever you see
01:19:50.940
somebody out there with like like they're they're making youtube videos they're playing guitar on youtube
01:19:55.580
they're just tweeting and you're like clearly you're gonna have at least four or five times my following
01:20:00.940
and that means that i'm like all right like right there with you and it's like everybody people
01:20:05.420
being nice to us because they're hoping to come on our tits life's not easy for us i can i can end
01:20:11.180
i can end your marriages and uh like relationships right now would you hang out with your wife girlfriend
01:20:15.660
if they didn't have a pussy that's a great question that's a great question i would tell my wife with
01:20:21.340
your face why would i hang out with you if you don't have a vagina what is the point of you
01:20:24.860
like yeah you're cool next maybe we'll hang out like what the fuck's the point of this that is
01:20:31.900
how to end the relationship right away would you love me if i didn't have a pussy no get the
01:20:37.900
fuck out of here i wouldn't hang out with my wife but i wouldn't hang out with my wife like the way i
01:20:43.340
hang out with you guys it's different you know what i mean like this is like a different type of hanging
01:20:47.580
out and there's no there's literally zero girls that are that funny like if the hypothetical is
01:20:54.700
like tomorrow my wife tyler can you play this video for me then like no obviously we have we have like
01:20:59.820
a life together but like if the hypothetical is like if i could go back into okay me
01:21:06.940
girl drummer i i just wanted to show you like this is this is what women would have to do if we had
01:21:12.220
standards they'd have to actually like garner skills and be capable of things dude this is a horrible
01:21:20.140
this is a horrible um it's not even good but i'm just saying that's my my point is like you actually
01:21:25.660
have to try what happened toad are you okay uh i don't know somebody's somebody's trying to kill me
01:21:31.740
obviously yeah yourself okay that's not even a good video of her drumming because there's another dude
01:21:38.140
doing that same thing and he's getting like bro he's unbelievable yeah he's unbelievable he's
01:21:43.980
getting 30 views on his shit yeah clinton are you saying if if that fucking like fat
01:21:47.820
bitch that was we just saw was doing that thing that's what it would take for you to fuck her
01:21:52.380
no no i'm just just to hang out with her no i'm just saying like women would actually have to grow
01:21:57.180
skills they'd have to like oh oh if like if they if we if we raised our standards above like
01:22:02.860
because because like literally i mean the girl i showed was obviously attractive enough that that
01:22:07.020
even if you had standards you'd still be like i don't care that you're dumb and you want to know
01:22:10.540
the plot to every movie before we start it and that your iq is lower than mine by 40 to 50 points
01:22:14.540
i'd be like this is fine you're attractive but that other you'd be like you're
01:22:19.740
gonna have to learn how to play the drums to have a shot i don't know not for me but for like like
01:22:27.020
like like how like you know like mid looking guys have to learn how to play guitar to get like women
01:22:32.140
exactly yeah yeah they'd be like like so they're playing honestly honestly our our low standards
01:22:38.380
are holding women back from excelling at at becoming something it's the same thing with black
01:22:43.100
people that's our low standards for them is holding them back making it out of the hood it's
01:22:49.180
honestly honestly not wrong well women women are black people is that what you're saying is that why
01:22:55.100
they like to fuck each other that's why women like like fucking black dudes makes a lot of they
01:22:58.780
probably have a lot in common yeah they don't look at each other and they go like they go like
01:23:02.300
yeah room temperature iq what's up it's like you're in the club over there join us i feel like i feel
01:23:12.860
like i've been trying people before we did women i feel like i've been trying to connect this this
01:23:17.180
dot between our misogyny and our racism and we finally did it like i'm so proud of us women are
01:23:22.380
black people yes this the ai sex robot robot stuff is why like japan's like uh birth rate has declined
01:23:29.020
because they're so far ahead in like technology on that side than we are like they were already
01:23:32.940
doing this shit for a while this is and their birth rate has declined this is because like
01:23:37.660
is that the a off ai fuck bots are gonna put you out of business like it's a fact those dudes those
01:23:43.900
dudes in japan are just like we're watching hentai like ai hentai of like you know how little you
01:23:48.620
have to be better than a robot to be better than a robot like like just be nice and we
01:23:54.540
fuck us occasionally that's not better than a robot generally yeah they struggle for that
01:23:59.500
the robot is probably way better at fucking than you but it's not human so you have that
01:24:07.740
all right someone someone else is anti-semitism here is is uh that the jews did put them all on us
01:24:13.260
both they put both women in the workplace and so it falls over the jew umbrella so yeah it's i mean
01:24:18.940
everything really comes from them and then on top of the jews is nephilim shit right pull up that
01:24:23.820
comment sorry this is such a vicious comment what elizabeth said birth rates have declined
01:24:30.300
maybe the asian race will end wow uh i'm gonna go fuck her after this oh my god
01:24:40.060
i understand why you love her last night i do i was looking and liz was like is he a nigger and i was
01:24:44.940
like oh my god oh yeah i saw that too i just heart reacted didn't even look at the context
01:24:51.420
i don't know what she's replying to but i said what's she playing she's playing racist guess who
01:24:55.500
from the fucking night dude she doesn't like anybody dude she's so fucking god she's she's so
01:25:03.900
bad dude i have to what does liz say about us when we're not around you don't even well no actually
01:25:09.740
she she mostly likes y'all like oh that's that's hard to believe mostly who does she know what she
01:25:15.500
hates is that she goes like you have to go do this which one of her i hate all those
01:25:19.100
bitches clint that is that is cole and liz right there cole how many of her watch cool watch yeah
01:25:25.020
but it's switched watch what he does watch what he does oh shit and then she smells good shit that's
01:25:30.700
good shit yo don't don't lie don't lie you want that relationship you want to be able to do that
01:25:36.940
in public with your girl yes you do don't i don't want her to smell it after what am i out of my
01:25:41.420
fucking mind that's what's the reason what's the reason for the sniff like is is is he helping her
01:25:47.980
out like she's like is this is this this is like whenever your girl smell it no this is like whenever
01:25:53.580
your girl's like just check if i'm bleeding she's like i'm on my period i haven't like just check my
01:25:58.060
just check my ass to see like whenever i get up this is that but she's like just check my i think
01:26:02.700
my smells and he's like all right i'll get in there and let you know oh you think that was her
01:26:06.620
pussy you want a second opinion he might have both i don't know he could you can you can get
01:26:12.140
them both from down there they're only like two inches apart you know if the pussy smells if you
01:26:16.220
drag your fingers through her ass crack on the way your pussy smells like shit
01:26:24.700
your pussy smells fine i think but your ass is just atrocious a little shock
01:26:31.340
i would want i mean that's that's the perfect relationship where you can do that in public
01:26:35.980
you know what they're doing in private they're not it's wild
01:26:41.820
the trust in that relationship right like because it's like hey babe can you check if my
01:26:45.420
asshole smells he's like sure he does he's like here you sniff it she's like it's okay i guess
01:26:53.420
how much you guys trust in each other is strange i don't know why is that an appealing relationship to
01:26:58.940
you cole this this feels like a psychological because it's a thing of like of like okay if they're doing
01:27:04.860
that in public don't you wish you're doing it right no never not what they're doing my wife said
01:27:09.980
that to me the divorce paperwork would be filed the next day you're crazy my wife said that to me i'd
01:27:17.580
do you guys are just not comfortable that level of intimacy is what it is you're not like i i am down
01:27:34.140
to do some wild shit in public which means we're doing even crazier shit in private crazier so wait
01:27:41.260
up is that what you want by some married chick with your shirt off
01:27:45.980
that's what you want in a relationship cole like are you that broken yeah you know what's
01:27:51.020
weird he's had sex with almost nobody and he might be the most perverted amongst us
01:27:58.700
three people no no that's actually that's actually me and two of them were after i got married it's
01:28:03.900
crazy the inverse relationship uh the inverse relationship is real clint because that would
01:28:08.940
be me what do you mean at the extreme end of both of those scales you think you're the most perverted
01:28:14.940
yeah probably wow what do you want to do to a chick if you ever fuck please don't answer that no i want
01:28:20.460
to know no this is good oh i want you to go in detail yeah detail what's your what's your kink you
01:28:26.460
fucking freak i want to know your wildest fantasy you know you know what it is man what is it no i don't
01:28:31.980
he wants to he wants to he wants to suck lactating uh yeah he's in the lactating but he does that
01:28:36.540
shit he does that shit yeah that's the shit no no no lactating titties that's my shit too you weird
01:28:41.740
oh you just want to fuck pregnant bitches yeah all right no he wants to suck the milk out of their
01:28:47.580
tits all right describe to us in detail how you do it is there any detail that needs to be got into
01:28:57.100
that 100 go ahead you meet this girl at the lp convention the georgia lp convention
01:29:02.380
she says hey come to my hotel room would you take it off would you take it off well listen this is
01:29:05.820
going to be a long process because first i'm gonna have to knock her up it's a 38 year process
01:29:10.460
we know how long it is so so then i have to knock her up first so then she's gonna uh toad toad
01:29:17.420
picture picture this yeah come back to my room toad you guys walk to the fucking hotel and across
01:29:22.860
the street from the vfw yeah you go up to a room oh the vfw this is hot yeah you just crushed on
01:29:29.900
stage and this is ready you're damn right oh by the way this is uh by the way when we
01:29:43.740
so what happens what happens after this come on man we got the sexy music i do i don't want to
01:29:47.820
i want to i want to set the picture we are all staying at the same airbnb that that for that
01:29:53.020
weekend at georgia which is going to be wild because i've already tried to set this up to where
01:29:56.220
we're all having sex at the same time which would be really funny so because we're all going to be
01:30:01.020
like trying to like outdo each other 100 yeah that's that's exactly what's going to go down
01:30:06.860
not my wife yes do it we're all we're all wife swabbing so oh god is this what cole thinks is going
01:30:17.340
on right now this is why we're doing a show guys show orgy come on no we're not an orgy we're all
01:30:24.140
in our separate rooms fucking our own relationship like a significant other if you so choose to leave
01:30:27.980
the door open that's on you toad's going to be in one of the closets of one of the rooms every night
01:30:36.460
it's a game you got to figure it out figure out which closet it's pervert roulette
01:30:51.020
we don't have all night for this and i got to do betting but you know like i would take
01:30:55.580
all night jesus i i would take it real if you're a lucky woman he can't he can't even explain what
01:31:01.900
he's going to do what do you mean real slow say if you take it any slower you're going to die a
01:31:07.100
virgin could you just get to the point you gotta you gotta you gotta work up to it man you gotta
01:31:11.980
you you know what i'm talking about yeah yeah you don't know what you're talking is no joke let him
01:31:17.100
explain guys be quiet go ahead so what are you talking about i'm talking about you gotta start
01:31:21.340
with like the face the ears the neck you know what i mean you gotta you gotta work it slow
01:31:25.900
you gotta i have never heard someone say you gotta start with the face let him go let him go let
01:31:34.620
him go i want to hear it i'm gonna mute myself because i can't it's like he's talking about
01:31:39.100
molesting a mannequin go ahead yeah i'm gonna mute i'm muting everybody go ahead just let us know what
01:31:43.900
you're doing it's all about foreplay man and then eventually you're gonna work your way to the titties
01:31:47.420
which are not full of milk at this point yet which is unfortunate but that's what you're gonna do
01:31:52.140
oh this is dude this is starting to get better off dead okay this year
01:32:00.700
oh my god dude you work your way all all the way down well all right well the key is here
01:32:07.500
you want you want to do it slow right so once you get down you know you might work the stomach a
01:32:12.940
little bit but then you want to you want to skip skip the pussy skip all the way down start
01:32:18.780
low with the feet you want to work your way up the legs you want to keep skipping the
01:32:22.620
pussy because you want you want to keep her guessing man you want to build that anticipation
01:32:27.100
skipping maybe even like give it give it a little like sniff in there give it a little whiff you know
01:32:31.500
what i mean so she might and then and but then back away so she might even think like oh man like like
01:32:36.860
does my pussy smell bad i don't even know it's even going to go in at this point i don't know
01:32:40.380
you gotta you gotta just build that as anticipation to such a degree then once you finally get in
01:32:47.580
there man then then it's go time that yeah that it's gonna happen she's gonna explode
01:32:55.100
yeah that's it all right let's do talking towers
01:33:02.300
well then i'm gonna knock her up and then nine months later we're coming back and we're going for
01:33:05.900
that milk jesus that was he did all foreplay and then got to the part where he actually
01:33:10.700
fucks and he's like he's like and then it's done i think we need to end it on that note that was art
01:33:16.460
pass it off to talking towers and step away oh i don't understand why we're doing this talking
01:33:21.260
tower thing that doesn't make me i i don't like to try it out i like the idea give him a moment to shine
01:33:26.060
yo real real shit real toad that was one of the greatest things that i've ever heard
01:33:29.260
thank you dude thank you so much thank you toad
01:33:57.740
okay everybody uh toad just recited one of the penthouse forum articles that he had submitted
01:34:02.380
when he was in high school but here we go uh glad to have the age of consent talk and the masturbation
01:34:08.620
or the menstruation topics tonight it feels like this show is back to its roots
01:34:12.540
the libertarian show that it really should be okay what do we have here we have cole cole does
01:34:18.140
deep dives and and goes down weird rabbit holes in instagram that's where you can find him and he
01:34:24.860
will always be there for you uh there we go let's let's help this out here a little bit here okay uh
01:34:29.740
jose jose is of the he's poking the fed bear check him out on his no way jose podcast he just had a
01:34:35.980
finder's cult he does columbine he does the hook stuff that's where you go there for all the best stuff
01:34:41.020
with no way jose clint everybody knows about clinton liberty lockdown you can check him out with his
01:34:46.380
next show the best political show with the we are change the big question is is toad going to be on
01:34:53.340
timcast irl first or is he going to be on clint's new show that is the one that we're really uh looking
01:34:59.340
to that find here top lobster he's just been on uh my family thinks i'm crazy talking about the
01:35:04.300
nephilim death squad check that out on episode 356 and lastly we had toad left he's still on the
01:35:11.500
uh the timeline playing his ukulele but you can find him on better off dead i don't know if he has any
01:35:18.460
subscribers over there or not but he does help you be the best degenerate gambler you can be it's the
01:35:23.420
tower power our slut no way jose liberty lockdown plimph reed cole top lobster and toad tower gang
01:35:43.340
lock is true thing same with lobster cole and jose toad is sick no way jose the tower power
01:35:50.220
They made Dave spit all his fame Tauber Gang, Tauber Gang, Tauber Gang
01:35:53.000
Tauber Gang, Tauber Gang, Tauber Gang NAT omega
01:35:58.320
They speak courage you sped, Sped More than Rogan you fed.
01:36:02.700
Truth bugs Weather, Timcast, Hotep More offensive
01:36:23.740
It's so fucking hard to line up the syllables in all