Ep 161 - Don't BBC Tase Me Bro
Episode Stats
Length
2 hours and 1 minute
Words per minute
216.84781
Harmful content
Misogyny
68
sentences flagged
Toxicity
793
sentences flagged
Hate speech
345
sentences flagged
Summary
Tower Gang Bitch is back with a new and improved version of the classic . This week, the gang is joined by special guest Top Lobster, who is a wizard of clothing and cloth. We talk about the best and worst things that have ever happened to him, and why he thinks about his dick every time he sees a dick.
Transcript
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Why are we talking about niggers on this show?
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I will say it's properly applied to that specific individual.
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I'm trying to start a cult here, baby, so I can only fit a third of my dick into Toad's
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You want to kill me or you want to give me a bone?
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When I say fuck the Jews, it means I'm horny.
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Have you guys ever had the mythical where there's a whole thing in and then do that shit where
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The three of you had a threesome of some kind.
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Do you wish that we could just watch our intro for an hour and a half?
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It doesn't matter because we're not on colored people time.
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We got Top Lobster, the progenitor of the finest wares in all the lands.
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He is a wizard of clothing, of cloth if you shall.
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Top Lobster.com if you want to pick up shit from him.
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If you want to pick up shit from Cole, you're going to have to go to the gym.
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And wow, he is looking extraordinarily jacked for the tiniest man that's ever walked on
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Then we got Raven, the dick, the dick capital of the world.
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In more than one way, he is also a dick, but he also has a good dick.
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I keep forgetting that we've seen his penis.
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No, it's just like, you know, you don't, I'm not like Toad who just thinks about his penis
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Like I just kind of put that in the back of my brain and then it'll come up like later
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Every time I see him, all I think about is his dick.
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Whenever I see a dude, I like envision what his dick must look like.
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Because there's obviously an issue between David and Clint.
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Every time David comes on, he's like, I got a bone to pick with Clint or something like
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Literally the only beef that we have is that he, he goes out of his way to beef with me.
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He's, he's like, he's one of these fucking like alpha minuses that sees the fucking alpha
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And he's like, I'm going to, I'm going to bite at him.
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Look man, I'm short and I'm poor and he's tall and he's rich.
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And there's a fucking, I don't like the imbalance.
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But Cole's the one who's going to kill you if that's the case.
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Well, and speaking of killing people, we've got Toad in the building, the progenitor of
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Toplofsa and Raven do a show called Nephilim Death Squad.
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But yes, Jose's gone because he's got, he's taking care of his pussy.
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He was, he was explaining to us in detail today.
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He was like, I got to make sure that all these kittens are latching and getting the milk.
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It's just, he's literally like, it's the weirdest like side hobby gig I've ever heard
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But like, he slings that pussy for such a fucking premium.
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I don't really understand why he's not balling.
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So he told us today it's two and a half grand for a, for a kitten.
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And he was like, he was like, so I got to make sure that none of these die because it's,
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So he's catching, he's cashing like, like probably 7,500 every two months.
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He actually started a podcast about it called two and a half grand.
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Uh, he also, he also said that like the, uh, the cat's water broke today and that's
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I was like, that has to smell like the worst thing in the world is like, once that water breaks,
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it has to stink to high heaven in the whole house.
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Like he's probably walking around his house all the time with his fucking hobbit feet,
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just like crinkling into like the carpet or something.
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You know, he probably doesn't want us to meet his wife because his wife probably smells
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Jose's sending us pictures in the chat of, uh, the, like the birthing process.
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He said, he sent a picture of the, uh, the mama cat and the baby cat and I said, ah, disgusting.
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The thing is, the sick part of it is that it does look like human nipples.
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So it's like hanging to the side and like, I looked and said, oh, that's right.
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Did that thing jump a little bit when you saw that?
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Is there a weird, uh, is there a weird like sect of like furries that are into hairless
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Because furries, you know, they're, they're putting on this shit and they have all the
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Like at that point, are you just like, you're getting really close to just a human animal hybrid,
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Are we not going to talk about the fact that, that this show opened up with, with fucking
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Dom Lucre in the, in the juice tunnels in New York state?
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You better calm down or you're about to be exposed.
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We were, this was one of the topics for the week because we thought it was, I thought
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this was a hilarious concept of basically is like, okay, we need to take down the Jews.
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These are one of the smartest, most manipulative, cunning, conniving people in the world.
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You know, we're going to send a black man.
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He looks like the predator and a goblin had sex and just pushed his little baby out.
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It's like, we got to send our best and brightest.
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Before you talk too much shit about this Dom dude, I, well, before I went to bed last night,
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I saw a spaces that he was in and I hopped in there.
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I was only in there for like two minutes going hard in the paint against the J's.
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My, our friends are making a documentary with them and they're doing it with good intention.
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Do I be like Clint and be like, I can't talk about Tim pool.
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You chose a legitimate retarded person to head your documentary.
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At some point you, you had to turn to each other and say, should we choose this guy with a fake Gucci jacket?
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Imagine trying to produce a documentary that's primary target demo is going to be white skinheads and you put as the narrator black dude with dreads.
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I am telling you, like this definitely, they can turn the tables on this very quickly and just make a documentary about a black man trying to do investigative journalism.
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And then before the editor leaves, they go, yo, this is a mockumentary.
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You know the fucking music from Curb Your Enthusiasm?
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Just playing constantly in the background.
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He fucking posted a picture of like a trap door on the sidewalk.
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I found the entrance to the fucking tunnels.
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That's where the bodega keeps their fucking food.
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They covered their illegal tunnels with metal that you could see from outside.
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There was a fucking dude next to it smoking a cigarette on Google Earth.
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Because they can just be like, it's just like Michael Scott.
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Literally, it's Michael Scott going and being like, here's the entrance to the tunnels.
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He was like, there's an old treadmill in here.
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Maybe they were working out down here to fuck children.
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You put your edit out of a documentary about fighting this.
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You give Lainey that raw footage and you will get a masterpiece.
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I seriously thought the problem is because the Mexicans dug the tunnels.
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Yeah, the Jews hired Mexican workers to build the tunnels.
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Imagine Dom Luker, or whatever his name is, interviewing a Mexican about digging the tunnels.
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Mexicans and black people hate each other.
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I just assume all people hate black people.
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No, I remember that in high school, it was like the Mexican kids and the black kids would
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Cole, that was because they were just in different gangs.
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And Toad juice your shit a little bit too.
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If this is real, I would love to have a Nikki Haley autograph.
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Yeah, I mean, it would be humorous, but I hope she made it out to me, to my biggest
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Should we talk more about the fucking, the Dom Luker in the tunnels?
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I mean, like, what are the angles going to make this?
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I hope it pays off for them, because I do like the people that are working with them.
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They hired this black dude with dreads who literally thinks that just posting a photo
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Dude, he posted yesterday, he posted a picture of Tom Hanks wearing a t-shirt that said, like,
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We already know that Tom Hanks is hanging out with Epstein, man.
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And it's really amazing that it's lasted as long as it has, because Clint said it earlier.
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Get ready, because you're going to be exposed.
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And then what ensues is no expose, and nothing fucking happens.
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And then he goes, gotcha, bitch, on to the next one.
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The funny thing, though, is like, listen, the Jews covered up 9-11.
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And the entire world watched 9-11 happen, and nothing came out.
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But Dom, the thing with these Jewish tunnels under their own church, he's going to get them.
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Like, two weeks after it actually happened, they're like, no, he's going to find all the evidence.
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Does it bother anybody else that he says a t-shirt is a developing story?
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I assume when I first saw him, I liked it because I'm like, oh, this is funny.
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Like, if you were going to make a conspiracy theorist brain-damaged account, it's very funny.
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The part that bugs me out is now I see him, like, in real life, and he's taking himself seriously,
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but doing the most clown shit, clownish shit that you could imagine.
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I've never, like, he's one of the most egotistical motherfuckers.
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He's like, people aren't inviting me to this and that, and I'm not getting much.
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It's like, because everything, every single thing you do gets fact-checked and community
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noted because you're just lying through your teeth.
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Like, he says, today Oprah Winfrey has decided to be exposed, and then there's nothing.
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Can we get a, I want Bryson Gray and Dom Luker to have, like, beef, because that would
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be really fucking funny to watch these two, like, apes throw shit at each other.
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I'm just talking about, like, it's just, you know, that's an expression, right?
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But he's on fucking TimCast, and he has, like, dude, honestly, the guy has nothing to contribute.
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He says maybe 15 words for the entire episode.
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But then you hear him on this fucking, you know, this leak, or not even a leak.
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He goes on a live spaces, and he starts going on a tirade where he's like,
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dicks and niggas can't even go to the hood.
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You can't go to the streets because they're going to run your pockets.
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And it's like, where the fuck was all that weird energy that at least would have been entertaining
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on TimCast to see him go off like that and to see Tim try to juggle that action would
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And then he gets on the live space and he goes, you know, total apesh.
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How many, like, how many racist black things can you say but, like, you don't realize that
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Like, you could say, well, these guys went apeshit.
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But then once you apply it to black people, like, oh, was that made for black people?
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I mean, I don't think there's really much there, man.
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I like the dude but, like, he's being used raw.
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Because he thinks he sees truth all around him when he's actually looking at bullshit.
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Just to clarify, these motherfuckers brought up the Mises Caucus.
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But, you know, setting that aside, I have to get dragged.
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It's like, hey, Sam Chippley, listen to this motherfucker.
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Talk about a spirit of Nephilim-looking bitch motherfucker.
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It seems like you should have gone with cold instead of clay.
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That's an episode that you have to, like, watch physically with your eyes because some
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of, like, the beatdowns- Clint, you know the clip that they made when I was like, he had a
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pronounced ring and his eyes roll super hard.
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He was doing that shit like the whole episode.
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Like I'm sitting there going like, oh, that's interesting.
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And then, then, David just goes, you know, despite the fact that Clint's eyes are
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And I'm like, I'm so scared for the whole episode.
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And I'm like, it's like, you know, it's like, I'm so scared.
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just goes you know despite the fact that clint's eyes are rolling in the back of his head it's like
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i'm literally just in this conversation chilling and they're just they're like for the audio
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listeners they have narrated a reality that didn't even transpire that's what happened
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fucking manipulating the people's opinions dude i felt it i mentioned the spirit of lilith you
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reached for a tall drink i don't know what the fuck was in it looked like vodka and you did a
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whole fucking eye roll and then you drank half a cup of it again and then you got up and walked off
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for about 15 minutes came back and turned your camera off it was a weird fucking episode
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it was weird he left at the end he just he didn't even say anything i swear to god
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go watch it that part's true but i did i did message in the chat saying i had to go do my show
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and then leaves he didn't say i rolled the last thing that happened in the chat i saw a bubble pop
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up because i'm in the middle of a stream of consciousness right but a bubble pops up and
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it said sorry guys i gotta go see you top dave's a fag and i was like what the fuck is that about
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and i have to try to fucking like keep going and keep talking i'm like a guy doesn't like me that's
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fine literally literally none of this happened hey can we address what happened last week because
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i i don't know how it was uh received with owen benjamin going at that was that's great that that
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was like a week ago was that last week yeah it was last week a year ago that felt so long i felt like
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we did a i felt like we did a tower gang already in between no we haven't and it was so funny because
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i don't know how because i feel like we got good feedback on that show but it also felt like not
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our show because it was just like hey clint explain the federal reserve to owen benjamin
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no no it was way worse than that it was him going you know that the federal reserve is kind of
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mandatory and then then me going huh and then you guys going keep it funny clint you bitch
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okay and then i just like try and pivot and just be like yeah good point on yeah federal reserve
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mandatory it's the only thing that keeps us alive i disagree with owen but i don't care because i just
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wanted to be funny i know i just all of us well besides top tops like owen's the best whatever
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he's like and he was like also he's right yeah you agree with him he's right i agree but the rest
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of us who are like anarchists like and caps are just like and like halfway autistic can be like okay
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what do we do because there's like two wolves inside of us one is just like be retarded and one
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was like be autistic and like clint's wolves were absolutely clint's wolves were absolutely
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mauling each other actually i mean you could see it in his brain like if you watch the video bring
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up fleek of the week because that might make the fucking fleek of the week man there's two wolves
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inside of us one of them is saying be autistic one is saying being retarded today i've decided that uh
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for whatever reason pull up the shirt tyler the fucking this fucking jew lawyer pull pull it up
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it's not that being retarded and being autistic is not the same thing so this i can't believe you
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made this we're i'm just giving this shit away like to one person in in the chat i don't know
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i want to make i want to make it a thing where like every week i can do another drawing
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and then nobody buys it i want to see this up close this is a reference no i i legitimately
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do you think someone would wear this feels like sexual healing i would wear the fuck out of that
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i mean like you're going out in public you're you're you're going like oh i need to go pick
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up some like shit from public today and you have this shirt on that says toad sexual i thought it
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was it looks like a christmas no one's gonna understand what's going on i love i love the fact
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that toad's in a red shirt on a red shirt so he's like he's like blending into your body
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if you're wearing the shirt i'm actually inside that is one that may be the best shirt that's
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ever been created so i guess i don't know why i'm making i think i think it'll be cool in the
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future if somebody bought this some maniac bought this and then we have an event let's say like an
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event like at georgia and they go yeah sexual healing and we're like yeah you're fucking out of
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your mind just imagine giving himself a mammogram also it's also like uh it's like hang on babe we
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can't have sex until i have the sexual healing shirt on you imagine making your wife look at his
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fucking face when you go to bed you're like you're fucking on top you're going and she's just looking
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down seeing toad green light like what if you what if you put this on a car or like like you had
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like a work van or something and you just put it on the back of it and it's like it should be on a
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christmas card it looks like a holiday we should fucking we should pay to get my vet wrapped in
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this oh my god they would be like it looks like a company but what does the company sell
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that's true it's just is you know what it'd be really funny because it's like is that like a sex
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therapist or something and that's gonna be the funniest to think of toad as a sex therapist
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company needs to do that you know how you put little words like on a magazine cover for like
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different article names that are in it or different topics it needs to be like like going
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from the head down to the ankle and skipping the pussy like it needs to have different it just says
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skip the pussy question mark i mean this i mean this in all seriousness and i i know you're not
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going to believe me but when this show explodes in popularity sitting in the corner watching
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you are going to be by far the most famous one of all of us you are you are you are such a you are
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such a memetic masterpiece of a human being it's just like just just seeing you on a t-shirt makes
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me happy it's a it's a it's really a powerful thing i could run a whole line of just toad t-shirts
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like oh my god you were crazy right rick ross i'm gonna make that's it i'm making another website
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it's gonna be called onlytoads.com and onlytoads is so great onlytoads t-shirts and it's gonna be
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shit like this oh my god this is how we win fuck you're you're the big j of tower gang by the way i
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just quick quick uh little plug for us when we were on with chipley on tinfoil hat he was just
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effusive in the praise of what tower gang is it was really fucking cool uh i it made meant the world
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to me i'm sorry i was being serious for a second now uh retard oh it's interesting because more or
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less what he said he was like uh comedies become gay and you guys are keeping comedy alive that's like
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fucking paraphrasing what he said i think he actually may have said exactly that exactly those
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words yeah so it was like comedians are fucking faggots and you guys aren't and i was like damn
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that's fucking what it's a bizarre a bizarre place to be in because like we never i never really set
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out to do that but it's like everyone else got so not funny that now we're funny i guess you know
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what's amazing about like formulating this this gang is that we we all we all support each other as
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we completely destroy our our public reputation and our capacity to get a corporate job and we're just
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like we're not making any money from this but we all enjoy each other's company so much it doesn't
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matter we just we are we are making money and toad is very very autistic about it oh yeah my god
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we're not we're not expensive food and george are faggot that's true but the way he talks about the
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money he talks about it like uh when your dad like you you drive by toys or us and you're like oh the
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toys and he's like listen man we don't have it in the like no it's just too expensive yeah it's like it's
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also like and your dad and that that your dad is clint too like your dad's like a multi-million
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like it's subject like just just like comparatively what is going on it's just like it's the expense
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is nothing compared to what you're making we were down to 600 or 700 bucks and i was like all right
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my flight was 400 if you could send me the money i'd appreciate it and he's like he's like oh my god
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we're running we're running really low guys like we're down near the bottom of the barrel and then and
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then cole and uh and jose hop in there and they're like we're gonna get some we're gonna get dinner and
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drinks yeah we gotta we gotta put some you know let's get some fries for the table at least right
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starts spiraling he is panicked he's like he's like we're not fucking expensing goddamn food and
0.97
00:24:48.860
beers that's not that's not what the budget's for it's not it's not like it's not like a family budget
0.97
00:24:54.060
of where you're like hey we gotta save because we're gonna buy a house we gotta save just i'm the gambler
00:24:58.200
and i'm the businessman of the show he thinks he's the businessman it's wild i mean you guys
00:25:02.640
but you but you know what he is though he is the degenerate gambler that's hoping that he can he can
00:25:08.360
abscond with this money without our knowledge and this is really that's my gambling money i swear to
00:25:14.240
god the way he acts about it really does seem like he is gambling this money and it's just using it like
00:25:19.280
because he is like it's like what are we saving for like what are you like like this is just a hobby
00:25:24.660
that we do and we're making some money off of it which is great but it's all not that's that's my
00:25:29.140
point we're not but you know what's funny yes we are and the money you can use for like the money is
00:25:34.080
so infinitesimal it's like just make our lives a little bit better but he's like we're gonna save
00:25:39.340
it for something in the future that's apparently gonna happen retarded pull up that comment about
0.83
00:25:43.520
so high time preference pull up that comment yeah what a crazy dimension to have tower gang running
00:25:48.820
for president and vice president now keep in mind keep in mind toad is the one running for president
00:25:53.420
i mean it's the craziest like we live in total upside down land it's so this is gonna be one
00:26:00.220
of those things where it's like all the people that said trump wasn't gonna win what if something
00:26:03.300
fucking unbelievable happens here what if the the most unthinkable moment actually comes to pass
0.92
00:26:09.100
what the fuck are you guys gonna do listen do you remember do you remember whenever uh whenever
0.99
00:26:13.540
spike cohen and um uh whoever the lady was i can't remember her fucking name uh yeah joe jorgerson
1.00
00:26:19.480
and there was a big thing that went around about how spike cohen was a uh brony you remember that
0.96
00:26:23.960
yeah it was true yeah imagine now clint gets uh his vice president it's gonna go around and he
00:26:29.840
does a racist podcast like that's the only thing that's gonna like normie friends of mine great for
00:26:35.520
us not for you i don't understand clint's career like his trajectory i'm like look at this guy he's
0.98
00:26:40.820
crushing like and he's in this political realm and he's fucking like saying nigger constantly i don't
0.98
00:26:44.540
understand how the fuck this has it and what the fuck how has nobody noticed how has nobody noticed
0.99
00:26:50.080
my normie friends knew who spike cohen was and also that he was a brony and i was like this is
0.97
00:26:55.640
like this is hitting too close to home because if they find clint i just realized cole's gonna have
0.99
00:27:01.380
to quit tg because like if you get the nomination i'm fucking i'm dead yeah you're super fucked dude
0.99
00:27:07.820
yeah because i mean there will be clips that are played that have your face on national television
1.00
00:27:14.680
talking about the the vice presidential candidate for the lp and here's like here's his here's just
0.99
00:27:20.140
a fucking menagerie of them saying n-word n-word n-word yeah we're sitting in the room and jerking
0.99
00:27:25.380
off sitting in the corner that's just gonna be like i'm on repeat oh my god i fucking hope that happens
1.00
00:27:31.640
what's wrong with you guys is it a job thing is there is there is there a job thing that i'm
0.75
00:27:37.220
missing cole you have a job that would like yes i have a job david no that would indicate you if
0.93
00:27:41.700
they heard that you were fucking oh really oh yeah yeah is anybody else's job being like oh yeah
0.99
00:27:46.820
just absolutely my boss literally listens to my show i'm a fucking welder dude nobody gives a shit
0.99
00:27:51.480
oh that's true yeah you're right yeah it's fucking fine yeah i mean what do welders make per hour
0.97
00:27:58.220
like a hundred bucks well clint clint might be the most out-of-touch person in the world
0.84
00:28:04.560
i fucking i bet you if you work for yourself you could make that much yeah i probably could yeah
0.92
00:28:12.920
uh all right so who's out of touch now well i'm sorry how much do welders make that work for other
0.99
00:28:18.320
motherfuckers not a lot not a lot a hundred dollars oh my a hundred dollars an hour it's like
0.89
00:28:25.280
right i mean that's like that's the that's the entry fair wage right guys that's like that's
1.00
00:28:29.820
that's union wages right that's union wages right i don't have fucking health insurance
0.97
00:28:34.980
clint what are you talking about yo you don't need health insurance when you're making a hundred
0.99
00:28:38.300
dollars an hour but the first time in my life i felt poor i went to the fucking grocery store and
0.99
00:28:43.660
i don't want to be that kind of like boomer motherfucker but i looked at the peanut butter
1.00
00:28:47.040
and i was like it's 8 50. yeah dude it's fucking bullshit man what a regular thing
1.00
00:28:51.560
look clint's like haven't even noticed don't even give a fuck jesus clint right clint doesn't go to
1.00
00:28:56.400
the store i don't think clint's been to the store in he does 15 years he told us he buys from online
0.98
00:29:01.920
he's like why don't you just get he buys them online and he eats out that's what he doesn't notice
0.88
00:29:06.960
the watermelon painting on his wall he does not notice fucking price you know we went top and i went
0.99
00:29:11.100
to fucking hang out with uh with matt rife of real rife technology and it was so such a fucking like
0.97
00:29:16.420
opposite experience of going to clint's house like we were served tomahawk steaks we were given water
0.97
00:29:22.140
cups like so many water cups it was so many cups like every cabinet had so many cups and it was
00:29:27.960
we had a five course meal and every course we got a different cup it was insane dude look at that
00:29:33.960
crystal clear cup it was perfectly clean it looks really cloudy by the way it looks like it is
00:29:40.140
that's not the camera it's that cloudy anyway so we hung out with we hung out with matt rife i don't
00:29:46.960
even know if we can show this on here but i'm gonna do it anyway oh that's right we're bringing
00:29:51.100
this we're bringing this to fucking uh georgia and i don't even know if you guys if you guys
0.98
00:29:56.440
this thing is fucking scary oh my god oh yes hold on let me let me show you does it i don't know if
0.97
00:30:02.740
it's gonna oh it just shoots come out dude i i would i don't know if it if it shot out like
1.00
00:30:10.460
yogurt i would honor oh my god oh it's a fucking oh it's a taser dude if you get yeah by a cock
1.00
00:30:17.320
you are absolutely like it's like you're gay for the rest of your life you can't you can't yeah
1.00
00:30:21.800
if it just tases my arm though now imagine that this is great because you you know this is great
0.99
00:30:28.400
because this is like this is made for women because you know women are the only ones that
00:30:32.320
carry actual tasers because they're women and they think that they'll stop a dude like me from raping
1.00
00:30:36.540
them i feel like if someone just ordered that from like some kink website they did immediately put on
0.97
00:30:42.180
a watch list well when i'm great call tyler we're doing a segment called is it gay well i was gonna
00:30:53.260
go with the other way of saying like women could use this there's like they have a taser that they
0.99
00:30:57.360
always have in their purse and they had their dildo or vibrator also in their purse and it's just like
1.00
00:31:01.460
if you get really kinky you just shock the fuck out of your clit and that gets you off so i mean but
1.00
00:31:06.300
wow also gay guys i feel like gay guys aren't gonna fight aren't gonna have a gun they also need a
1.00
00:31:11.180
taser you also have your dildo right there i think it's the question of is it because it's
1.00
00:31:15.020
technically a weapon so it's really cool because it's a weapon so it's my dick can you imagine
0.99
00:31:19.080
getting mugged and you're like you're like you're just reaching your your back of your pants and you
0.99
00:31:23.220
just pull out this giant taser dildo from your ass there's only one place like it's doing electric
1.00
00:31:29.760
and a poison damage with the shit on it call the ambulance and he goes but not for me
1.00
00:31:37.940
he pulls it out he goes not for me and he goes actually for both of us that was that was a little
0.99
00:31:45.600
bit too much i just love the fact that that he made that for you like what a fucking i love it he
0.89
00:31:53.360
saw he's like oh my god clint's gonna get to i got a great idea i also have real questions of what
0.57
00:31:59.880
this guy makes for in general because if he's just like we don't know if you said i have a product
00:32:07.100
from a guy and it's this and you show that i'd be like does he just make is that what he makes
00:32:11.800
is he a dildo company or is he like a a taser company neither he makes he makes these coils that
00:32:20.200
give up vibrations we're not getting into it that's nephilim desk no no no but can you bring the case up i
0.99
00:32:24.380
want you to show the case that this thing was bought in like he shows up to dinner with fucking
0.96
00:32:29.220
this dude yeah and he flips it open yeah because that's that's a gun case that's 100 yeah my kid
0.99
00:32:37.920
is in the next room playing nintendo switch it's a molded dildo case it's fucking unbelievable dude
0.99
00:32:42.920
it's molded after david's dick too by the way that looks like did he enter this in cocktober
1.00
00:32:48.240
that looks like pulp fiction when when the dude with the fucking band-aid on his neck just like looks and
1.00
00:32:53.200
there's just light but it's a taser dildo is that's what the light's coming from
0.98
00:32:56.140
you gotta drop those numbers though clint we want to see these results sooner i don't want to wait
0.99
00:33:01.020
till fucking 200 000 get them at fucking 115 dude 115 and electrocute them it'll be it'll be the
0.98
00:33:07.060
summertime i'd imagine we're we're growing pretty quick we're like over 80 already i just want to
0.99
00:33:11.880
see it happen i want to know you know when is it i don't want i don't want to see it happen at all i
0.88
00:33:16.580
have a fucking heart arrhythmia i would really rather not be don't make me pull my piece out
0.99
00:33:20.720
imagine like you have you have your taser dildo but you also have your regular dildo on you and
1.00
00:33:31.820
you actually grab the wrong one so like guys like what the fuck with the dildo you go oh it's like
0.99
00:33:38.440
oh shit wrong dildo and then you also use the other one in the incorrect way too oh gazer is a
0.99
00:33:45.440
great i didn't think about that gazer is definitely what that should be called clint how do you see
0.99
00:33:49.740
how do you see this thing going though because now you're gonna have i don't know if you can fly
00:33:53.040
with it i don't even know if you can make it through custom with it i might have to mail it to you
00:33:56.580
transport it across state lines can i mail this i don't even know if i can mail this i think the
00:34:01.420
next time you're on best political show you're gonna have to just drive okay i'm gonna have to drive
00:34:06.900
it to you and then what do you how are we gonna how are you gonna honestly you can keep it you know
00:34:10.640
like i i don't i don't really need it if i'm being totally honest what you don't want he doesn't
0.92
00:34:15.980
want the temptation laying around his house yeah like i don't want to fucking put myself into a coma
0.97
00:34:20.640
just because i'm coming too hard like that'd be ridiculous there's got to be somebody dildo taser
0.98
00:34:26.340
and you're gonna you're gonna say i don't really know if i want it look look you're disappointing him
0.94
00:34:30.880
right now look i really appreciate the gesture it's a fucking weird gesture though and i don't think
0.85
00:34:35.880
that i'm like obligated to accept any dildos from anybody ever for any i love it tasers can fly in
00:34:41.780
checked bags just like imagine like they're they go like uh but dildos can't that's the very no
0.98
00:34:50.660
that's the bit i'll take it back up here i need i need we need we need you and david to fucking record
0.99
00:34:54.740
as you go to the airport and and open up the case and say can i fly with this oh this is gonna be
0.97
00:35:02.020
like i like that she's gonna get it to clint so it's gonna be like a fucking slow motion
1.00
00:35:06.100
and you pass off the fucking dildo and you know what you do uh stick it in your pants and try to
1.00
00:35:14.400
walk through tsa like that like what the fuck are you doing then you touch oh yeah just it's
1.00
00:35:17.880
very hard it's the only thing about the uh don't fucking tase me bro because if you tase the the tsa guy
0.99
00:35:25.720
there's got to be somebody in georgia who's willing to get to i don't know the legality of the situation
0.56
00:35:31.680
i understand how it works but if you have a volunteer right you're probably clear of any
0.99
00:35:35.340
kind of like responsibility somebody in georgia is going to want to be tased by this dick
0.96
00:35:38.940
and i'm looking forward to that there's no way out of this entire crowd especially out of tower
0.99
00:35:43.040
gang fans that somebody's not going to want to get tased by this dick and i'm very excited for that
0.96
00:35:47.460
actually this is a good question in the chat everybody who's going to georgia to check us out
0.97
00:35:51.740
this weekend all two of you say yes i want to say like i want to see if anybody's coming or not
00:35:56.180
like which one of you two wants to be tased one of them will be coming uh rian said on on uh rumble
00:36:02.300
which i think we can pull up rumble chat now i don't know if i thought we could but uh i said
0.95
00:36:05.600
uh don't bbc tase me bro but i also thought uh because the guy said don't fucking tase me bro
0.99
00:36:11.180
when i was fucking when we're over at uh matt's airbnb so we're waiting for top because top
0.99
00:36:24.320
fucked up by the way and somehow drove all the way to orlando instead of to largo whatever the
0.94
00:36:30.500
fuck it was so he hits me up thatcher i put it i misspelled it and it was supposed to be there at
0.98
00:36:35.740
the same time we wanted to show up at the same time together that way we we walking together and
0.98
00:36:39.620
it wouldn't be weird even though that's fucking weird and i pull up and i go where's top's car
0.90
00:36:44.240
and as soon as i pull up he calls me he goes where are you i'm like i'm fucking here he's like
0.98
00:36:48.020
i'm two hours away right so he fucks up miserably he's all the way in orlando he's still got two
0.98
00:36:53.840
hours to drive i'm sitting here hanging out with matt right from smoking cigars i'm drinking whiskey
0.99
00:36:57.840
and matt starts loading up all these fucking uh tomahawk steaks onto this little grill and the next
0.97
00:37:03.480
thing you know he's got a tin full of butter that he's melting inside the grill and he goes to pull
0.95
00:37:10.240
it away from the house because it's too close the tin of butter spills inside the grill and the whole
00:37:16.440
thing catches on fire and i dude i don't even fucking flinch i don't move a muscle i just look at him with
0.96
00:37:23.200
this fucking cigar and i'm like that's on fire matt and he's like yeah i don't know why i go it's the
0.99
00:37:29.200
butter matt the butter has spilled and the house is like inches away from catching on fire i don't
0.99
00:37:35.000
think i i did a fucking damn thing the entire the whole house almost burnt down not before you ever
0.99
00:37:39.440
even got there top before you were when you were still two hours away this is how we're gonna treat
0.95
00:37:44.100
the airbnb in georgia i'm sorry toad i know it's under your name but it's gonna be very much not my
00:37:49.440
house no yeah dude the way you retold that story i felt like i was like watching a michael bay movie
0.67
00:37:55.760
it was it felt like i could feel the heat on my fucking face i told my kid this i'm not very
0.98
00:38:01.320
reactive right so i go my son's right next to him i go get out of the fucking way and i just keep
0.99
00:38:06.760
smoking the cigar and my kid like wants to be right there i'm like dude move out of the fucking way
0.99
00:38:12.200
we're gonna lose everything here you should pick up welding if you can't afford to come to the show
0.92
00:38:16.480
when i almost burned down my friend's house did i tell that on the show before probably i don't know
00:38:20.580
but but go ahead because it'll suck here we go go ahead here it is yeah hey honestly let's
0.63
00:38:25.580
watch this instead here's what luke we're talking about get yourself erected or you can have your
1.00
00:38:29.680
significant other get you erected you put the towel at the tip of your penis and all you do is you lift
0.99
00:38:35.000
the towel 30 times a day 30 times a day lift the towel it strengthens the actual penile muscles that's
0.99
00:38:42.660
in the actual penis once you start working muscles it requires oxygen and it actually requires blood flow
0.64
00:38:49.160
to come rebuild up the muscles or the fibers that makes up the muscles that you're tearing down
0.62
00:38:53.460
so this automatically requests new mitochondria to be there mitochondria is very very good for
00:38:59.800
penis cells this automatically requests zinc copper and cobalt to be there and magnesium
00:39:05.520
because the mitochondria need all these essential minerals that i need this automatically pulls
0.99
00:39:11.040
your batteries hold on hold on hold on a second is this motherfucker just telling me that to get my
1.00
00:39:18.060
dick hard i need to jerk off is this what is this what happens on black twitter no no no this is no no
1.00
00:39:22.100
no no no put a towel on your dick did he say a wet towel dude he said he said just a towel i think what
1.00
00:39:27.100
he's saying is how to uh get your dick bigger or stronger no he said wet towel he might have been wet
1.00
00:39:32.820
towel but that's fucking impossible what well it depends on the size of the towel does it not yeah you
0.99
00:39:38.300
yeah you just like a like a little uh i'm not talking about a bath towel he did yeah yeah
0.99
00:39:42.260
hand towels motherfucker said towel and you're just well he's black they got i mean they probably have
1.00
00:39:46.800
a ton of penile strength he is black yeah yeah we see we all start it's just like any exercise you
1.00
00:39:51.040
all start really you know oh hey this is a this is a fun topic i don't believe in hand towels what do
0.98
00:39:55.520
you guys think like that's not fucking surprising at all what about blood towels like washcloths
0.90
00:40:02.460
oh you don't you don't wash that's a black thing you know that right what do you mean no wait wait
0.99
00:40:07.860
no it's a white thing it's a black thing to use washcloth yeah yeah i forgot yeah washcloths is a
0.99
00:40:13.580
black thing i believe right yeah that makes sense because like why the fuck would you do that
0.99
00:40:17.060
right no i just put fucking soap on my body and rub my hands around and then bro no i don't even do
0.99
00:40:22.140
that i just put it on my head and then i just i just do a fast spin
0.99
00:40:24.900
i knew you were a spinner how many fast spins just that's why you got a blood towel you're
0.62
00:40:33.460
gonna fall down hit your head blood towel two three spins you just put a shitload of soap on
0.87
00:40:37.140
your bald head two three spins it totally covers it's immersive yeah because i want to hear the end
0.99
00:40:41.460
of what he's what he's getting at area so just by doing this simple penis exercise you get all the
0.95
00:40:47.260
vital nutrients that you need to actually increase blood circulation and to keep blood circulation and
00:40:52.660
oxygen in the area for long periods of time and not and just think about it you're building a muscle
0.96
00:40:57.080
the more you build the muscle the stronger it is see a lot of people talk about the size of the penis
0.99
00:41:02.120
the the real size of your penis now you do have people that are uh growers and not showers a shower
1.00
00:41:08.000
is just a big penis but you can have a small penis that get erected they got a lot of blood flow that
1.00
00:41:12.680
grows bigger than the big penis that's just a shower so you can grow the size of your penis just by
0.99
00:41:18.260
growing the muscle in your penis a lot of people want to go get surgery and stuff like that just
1.00
00:41:24.800
doing basic wet a towel you say just doing basic penis exercise you said wet a fucking towel dude i
1.00
00:41:31.300
can't lift a wet towel with i swear to god i swear to god you can do this at the gym because it is an
0.99
00:41:35.860
exercise and you can do it out in the open and you don't have to keep it if so this is an exercise and so
00:41:40.660
if you go to the gym just whip your out get get one of the gym towels and just put it on there and start
0.94
00:41:45.300
doing i just i just want to know what what school did this dei dick doctor go to i thought that was
0.96
00:41:51.680
little wayne the whole time i thought it was dom luker i thought it was i thought it was doing like
0.96
00:41:57.860
bro it does look like dom luker it really it would be something he was like he's like he's exposed i
00:42:04.400
guess this is like i feel like this is like white guys someone clips yeah i think he's i think he's
0.99
00:42:08.400
putting like tiny dick dudes on game but like the game is fucked up is that a problem for black people
0.99
00:42:13.000
probably no i think i think he's just helping out the white guys i think he's going like listen
1.00
00:42:18.020
guys you know i appreciate the advice but geez man that's a honestly can we start with a dry towel
00:42:22.940
i'm gonna start with a dry towel i feel like you're really hung up on this like the the way have you
00:42:27.440
ever i'm looking at my towel right now that bitch looks heavy if it's wet yeah you start i mean they
1.00
00:42:33.420
start when it's hard when it's hard you're supposed to put the towel on it and yeah but he's saying 30 of
0.83
00:42:39.020
no no and lift it just lift it you know how you can like do like a pump like uh and yeah yeah you
00:42:43.760
know yeah flex that's actually kind of dope i might do that tonight like that's really because
00:42:48.500
he also he i like how he said he was like you can get yourself right this is why top loves dom luker
0.86
00:42:53.480
because he sees some dumb shit like that and he goes look at that you know what i kind of like that
0.72
00:42:57.540
that might be the truth right it honestly it kind of makes sense like because homeboy said it three
0.99
00:43:01.140
times in the video that's he said it three times he said no you're just gonna wet towel
0.86
00:43:06.160
get circulation he said cobalt there's no fucking cobalt in our breath three months from now when my
1.00
00:43:13.220
dick is all jacked all right and your dick is on the downcline from being an old man you're gonna be
0.99
00:43:17.580
like damn i should have listened to top and it was weird too that he spent cases you have that video
1.00
00:43:22.860
he spent talking about how to build muscle it's like you just fucking you're telling people how to
0.99
00:43:27.180
you lift it over and over again and it tears the fibers of the muscle and then it rebuilds them
0.98
00:43:31.080
and it's like yeah that's fucking half the video he spent just telling you how to work out and it's
0.89
00:43:34.580
like skip that go back to the wet towel thing it has to be wet what happens if like your uh if your
0.99
00:43:40.960
dick is already like a like a downer like where it like you know it goes down instead of going up
0.99
00:43:45.680
like how do you do lifts then it's not for you yeah i guess you can't do it maybe you have something
00:43:51.380
like maybe you have something pulling it and you have to like push it down you know i'm saying
00:43:55.480
like i don't think you can pump it down though like i don't think you can't yeah you can only pump it up
0.93
00:44:00.800
i assume i don't know unless you could do some different shit hey i mean you don't you never
0.96
00:44:05.180
know can you what can you pump it down nephilim can pump it down no i bet nephilim have gooch muscles
0.95
00:44:11.400
inverting god's creation inverting god's creation that's true this is this is something i actually
00:44:18.540
would do and be like oh god this is perfect like because i did the whole like stopping mid piss
0.52
00:44:23.280
because i thought it would help out my uh prostate muscle or whatever it doesn't mid pissing i forgot
00:44:28.240
what you called that did i call it something that seems like it would do a good thing like
00:44:32.860
right that doesn't that doesn't yeah because i was drinking i've been drinking a lot of water
0.95
00:44:36.080
your balls will explode if you do that yeah that's where all the pee is held so i had to like
0.96
00:44:41.320
that's where all the pisses so i had to i i would pee and then midstream i would stop
0.99
00:44:47.260
and i would like let it like you know how it like hurts whenever you stop midstream i'd let it hurt a
00:44:51.520
little bit yeah and then i would and i'd let it go again and i might do two three times i think
0.98
00:44:55.240
give you brain damage bro dude i don't i don't think i could stop makes you retarded
0.99
00:44:58.860
i like to think of him physically like force it to stop like i'd like to think of yeah well i mean
1.00
00:45:05.120
no if you were a man you could do it with just fucking pure pure like will and muscle in your
0.99
00:45:10.220
glands definitely yeah yeah no i don't use my hand by the way to this is this is just using my penile
0.99
00:45:15.240
muscles to do this this is not i could i could use some of that we were doing elijah schaefer's show
00:45:19.360
and at one hour mark i had to piss and i literally had to like we went for like two and change
0.96
00:45:24.760
dude by the end of it i was physically squeezing my penis like to not piss myself it was i do that
1.00
00:45:31.220
whenever i have to shit you squeeze your asshole i know i squeeze my penis i swear to god really
1.00
00:45:37.040
yeah i swear to god it helps how does that help i don't know i don't know just please explain
1.00
00:45:44.020
so like you ever like you know like whenever like you're like oh i'm about to have diarrhea
00:45:48.760
like i'm about to fucking i like uh she knows because she's seen it it's so weird
0.98
00:45:54.980
i swear to god so like whenever uh like you know ever like you're about to you're on a road trip or
0.98
00:46:02.000
something you're like you know that right yeah that's some little kid shit like it's like hey
0.98
00:46:06.100
there's there's like uh there's the gas station's like five miles away but you got a shit right
1.00
00:46:10.440
fucking now you're about to i like push down like on my like just my crotch area like just push it
1.00
00:46:17.520
fucking down that's the only way you ever have to hold you ever be holding your shit and get a
1.00
00:46:20.560
boner because of it that used to happen to me all the time like i'd be holding my shit in and i'd get
1.00
00:46:25.220
a boner i i shit i get sometimes i get a boner while i shit that's just uh that's different
1.00
00:46:30.720
does your dick touch the fourth one no no i mean sometimes he does i guess he does i do like i guess
1.00
00:46:38.100
why do you piss on your leg dude what when you shit why do you piss on your leg it's not all the time
1.00
00:46:43.760
it's just sometimes what did you do with your dick what was that what's wrong what's going on
1.00
00:46:47.740
honestly at the air maybe i'll show you you can come in the bathroom i'm taking a shit and i'll
1.00
00:46:52.980
show you all right i just want to understand by the way i also i was running the other day
0.97
00:46:57.380
had to shit on the side of the road and it was diarrhea too so i fucking took it i was like yeah
0.98
00:47:01.860
never it was something new i've ever had to do yeah dude i was like i'm running down the road it's it's
0.99
00:47:07.140
like a uh like a pretty rural place so there was like not it was like it was just like a small
00:47:11.440
so so wait wait so you you shit on the side of the road you pull up your shorts and then you run
0.91
00:47:16.600
home without wiping nice i i use leaves i use some leaves but also what leaves make you itchy and
0.99
00:47:23.440
which ones don't dude you gotta be no they're all brown dude it's fine uh no no listen listen also i
00:47:28.520
think this is where uh like the squatty potty whenever to it was definitely it was diarrhea 100%
0.95
00:47:33.980
diarrhea did you get it on your shoes and your socks no i made sure to really like squat back so
00:47:38.740
like i was looking the whole time you're not gonna i think it came out really clean because
00:47:43.560
it was just i don't know maybe it's something about like the yeah i think it's the squatting it
00:47:47.480
came out super clean and i wiped a couple times and there was a little bit of like some some stuff
00:47:52.660
on the leaves you guys are making fun of the indians but they're doing it because it's proper
1.00
00:47:57.860
shitting form man they know how to squat i swear to god like and i was i texted elizabeth i was like
0.97
00:48:03.420
i just had to show this and because before like we went to run same same like area was he ran house
0.97
00:48:08.480
no no no so it was literally like uh just like it was close to it was like in like a rural area so
00:48:14.840
it was like there's some houses around but it's not like it's just kind of out in the country
0.99
00:48:18.040
and but like it was like in some woods but you could definitely if you saw like my bare white ass
0.96
00:48:23.260
sticking out from behind some trees like it was you know what what offends me about this story most
00:48:28.260
is that i have i have some mugs with stains in them and and it becomes the topic of of the of the year
0.99
00:48:35.880
practically yeah cole pushes his dick down when he has diarrhea and he shits on the side of the road
1.00
00:48:42.000
and literally no one even cares they're just like people people listen listen if you're a runner if
0.99
00:48:50.140
you're a runner call in the comments if you're if you're a runner you know that sometimes when
0.99
00:48:54.100
you're running you just have to like you get the urge to shit it just happens like you shit before
0.99
00:48:58.340
you work out run i shit before i went out because i knew because i've ran this before and a same
0.99
00:49:03.620
thing happened i and that's almost the exact same location i had a shit and i was able to go back and
0.97
00:49:07.600
actually get to a a bathroom at like a local park but this time i was way too far away from the
0.97
00:49:12.600
park to get there clint's been taking a fucking beating lately but you kind of deserve it dude like
0.98
00:49:17.320
i've got a dot i've got a dot on a dirty pillow no i don't know what you did hey hey i didn't keep
0.99
00:49:21.880
i didn't shit on my other pillow there's a second pillow oh there's a second pillow yeah listen i
0.98
00:49:26.600
didn't shit my pants and then my wife saw it too the second pillow is clean you want me to go grab
1.00
00:49:30.620
it no no no no no listen oh yeah you can lie to me so you can lie to our faces listen no god damn
0.99
00:49:36.780
because i'm gonna say like yeah if i shit my pants i wouldn't keep the shit stained pants all also
1.00
00:49:42.260
like y'all did you see his ass crack he was definitely showing ass crack there i don't know
0.99
00:49:47.200
what the fuck was going on that was a lot of there was a lot of definition more than there should
0.99
00:49:50.900
have been while he's gone i just want to say shout out to these guys so they're in
0.96
00:49:54.320
they're in this new stream yard chat that we've been doing let's turn it around that's not the
00:49:59.620
fucking one dude that's not the one yeah i can tell it's not the one the other one had like
0.95
00:50:02.920
it wasn't even close the other one was colored had a pattern on it like it was like
1.00
00:50:07.180
it's not that's a clean fucking pillow you piece of how many pillows you got hello show us every
0.99
00:50:11.520
pillow i've got two pillows on my couch that's the other one you guys are gonna lie to us i feel
0.99
00:50:17.420
like you also have like a you have a yellow you definitely have a yellow like stained pillow that
00:50:21.940
you sleep on too right well you know why it's like look we're look we're talking about cole
0.93
00:50:25.220
shitting and it's like one of those things is it is not a choice like if you're running and you
0.99
00:50:29.500
get diarrhea like dude that sucks you gotta do whatever you have a choice you have money you don't
1.00
00:50:35.340
have to live like i i didn't shit my pants i didn't shit my pants and then keep them and be
0.99
00:50:40.040
like well they're staying now too bad too bad so sad it's like you just hold them up and put them
0.90
00:50:46.080
back in the drawer and then yeah it's just like whatever can't get the stain out all right so i
00:50:51.020
have when i have company i have one person over right i got two mugs done that's it no you don't
0.97
00:50:57.600
have two mugs you have to do the dirtiest guy that looks like mr you have fucking 16 mugs and
0.99
00:51:02.600
they're all filled with kratom and then you have like two clean ones it's a very strange situation
0.98
00:51:06.760
i just feel bad you have a lot of mugs he's taking a beating on like a lot of shit so like this thing
0.99
00:51:12.700
owen benjamin has been fucking beating him down beating him out tinfoil hat he got his ass kicked
0.99
00:51:18.400
there i just feel like i don't know what i feel bad almost because i'm like this guy's my friend
0.99
00:51:24.360
i don't feel bad because i feel like i can't hurt him i feel like he's invincible he's just a big
00:51:29.500
beautiful rich man and you can't do anything to him and i'm just hitting him in the knees
00:51:34.340
and there's nothing nothing's gonna happen first so it feels like i know you're kind of kidding but
00:51:39.480
it's so true like i you're right top you're right when i reflect on it yeah i've taken a lot of abuse
00:51:44.700
over the past couple months but you know what but then he counts his money and forgets i haven't really
00:51:50.160
noticed i haven't really noticed it's a lot because it hasn't been started we'll watch this video in a
00:51:55.940
second it's a lot because it's crazy that's like a banger that you're like look at this
0.80
00:52:04.020
it's it's like for two years you've been doing this thing on this path like to hundreds of thousands
00:52:09.860
of followers all this shit and just for like a couple i'd say even two months you've been getting
0.96
00:52:15.160
fucked up whereas before this has never happened like every everyone else is kind of like taking
1.00
00:52:20.500
their shit he's been good and now all at once everyone is on you clint you need to start wearing
1.00
00:52:25.780
two chains and just and just be like if you start wearing two chains two cups two cups and then two
1.00
00:52:33.000
seats i got two chains bitch you definitely need to get two phones too just if you have a threesome at
1.00
00:52:41.960
your house now do you you tell the the two girls to share a cup or something two girls one cup
1.00
00:52:46.520
god damn right when you said i thought the same thing
0.99
00:52:55.020
play that video i want to fucking see this
1.00
00:53:05.320
oh i come from south from way down south where the cold and painted used to go
00:53:14.520
turn this up in headphones right turn that boy up turn that boy up hold up
0.99
00:53:27.320
when the fears of cops and just die with blight and the path you mean it's fire with delight
0.98
00:53:32.360
while the alabama mammy blaze bridge all night way down south and dick and they say white people have
0.99
00:53:37.240
no culture we got to make america great again guys i like when white people steal black music
0.99
00:53:44.040
because they do it better and they think so too you know what i think is even weirder than this
00:53:50.360
entire thing is that there are there's an entire genre of people just watching older music
00:53:56.040
and like bobbing their head and it goes super viral like why are you watching people wait you
00:54:02.280
think this is real i don't think this is real i don't think that's what they're actually watching
00:54:05.320
no no they're watching some other song this is a parody but i'm just saying like the fact that
00:54:09.160
that's a thing is weird enough the fact that this is the thing that they're now watching in this
00:54:14.120
it's just majestic you don't even know the half of it dude there's videos online
00:54:18.280
of people watching uh people on tiktok watching other tiktoks and give zero what are they saying
00:54:25.320
here i want to see what they say here back up just like five seconds
00:54:42.680
that's ridiculous it's it's people are starting to like they'll just take content and then they'll
00:54:50.760
just put like their reaction in like the bottom corner but they don't react or say anything at
00:54:55.880
all and they'll just take it and just clip it and then put it out there it's the craziest
0.95
00:54:59.560
shit yo dude it's david's david tell them that story i mean this is wait what are we talking about
0.99
00:55:04.760
because i just saw somebody in the chat say two kids no dad
0.98
00:55:11.720
your niece or something isn't she like an influencer like that doesn't she oh my god yeah yeah she doesn't
0.96
00:55:16.680
do shit bro and she was recognized in public how weird is that but she was like like she has like
0.99
00:55:21.080
big ethnic hair you know and she like she'll stand and look in the fucking in the camera
1.00
00:55:28.520
and nothing will happen she won't say shit like she'll just look in the camera and music will play
0.99
00:55:32.840
and she'll give some poses and like no shit guys like 500 000 followers and like millions of likes it's
1.00
00:55:39.480
the most insane thing the girl got recognized out in public like she was at the mall the other day
1.00
00:55:44.200
and somebody was like oh my god are you fucking you know viral girl from tiktok stupid man i'm telling
0.99
00:55:49.720
like i remember when the phenomenon began where it was people you would have hundreds of thousands of
1.00
00:55:54.600
people watching other people play video games live and i was just like i was like oh we're doomed
00:56:01.080
like this yeah it's so obvious that this generation is utterly doomed you have you can play video games
00:56:06.920
yourself but you would rather see to the tunes of tens of thousands watch someone else do what you could
00:56:12.600
be having fun doing now see see because i i i i'm on the other side i i would watch i don't watch
00:56:17.400
those retards this is what i'm talking about we're describing you because i can't watch people
1.00
00:56:23.560
play video games i want to play video games because i do want to play video games but i can't play every
00:56:27.800
video game he wants to play video games clinton he doesn't want to just watch you play video games we
00:56:32.680
want to do it ourselves dude yo if y'all weren't so afraid of me you could have asked for the sticks i would
00:56:38.200
have been like yo let's go i you know if we had to play a two-player game clinton would have told us to
00:56:42.840
get the out he's like i've watched i've watched multiple playthroughs of multiple games like all
00:56:48.600
the way through i watched play all the way through i never want i never played the last of us i watched
00:56:53.720
the entire game like so i get the story and everything i don't understand that when my kid tries to do
00:56:58.680
that i'm like don't you want to play the game i do want to play at that time i didn't i couldn't play
00:57:03.240
the game so i was like i'd rather just like this is a poverty thing you could have played the game
00:57:07.960
like you're talking about time wise he's too poor yeah but dude well it's time it's money it's like
00:57:13.320
i'm watching someone play it and you're saying it's so much easier to watch somebody play it than
00:57:17.320
actually like get like turning on you just have to move your thumbs it's the same thing as sitting
00:57:22.200
there and it but it's more immersive if you do it yourself it's a personal experience i've done this
00:57:27.160
i've i've watched people play games of games that i play like i've already i play the games
00:57:32.040
already yeah you're the generation i'm talking about we're totally doomed like if if there's
00:57:36.760
ever a world war again we're you're the fighting age male we're you're gonna be like no i don't
00:57:42.120
want to go to the front lines i'm gonna watch some dude play modern warfare hell yeah what the
00:57:46.440
i'll just watch somebody do drone strikes it's basically the same oh the wars on the wars on
00:57:51.320
tuesday i had a i had a threesome playing for tuesday i can't i'll come watch i didn't get the draft
00:57:59.880
notice i was just shitting violently on the side of the road mid jug yeah i don't know man i never
0.87
00:58:06.760
understood that trend but it is weird because it's like you try really hard to make interesting
0.99
00:58:10.360
content and motherfuckers are just out there dude that's doing the bare minimum and crushing
1.00
00:58:17.240
i think it's way more understandable to watch it like if you just you were like i want to see if i
0.98
00:58:21.560
would play this game or i just want to i like i want to see about the story i've heard it's a good
00:58:25.160
game i'll watch someone play it and therefore i can get like at least some like it's in it's
00:58:29.480
still entertainment it's like watching a movie basically watching somebody i think watch something
00:58:34.200
else like and like not even react to it jc shots fired on toad my god yeah jc says you would watch
00:58:43.720
someone have a threesome instead of losing your virginity literally yeah listen i i understand
00:58:48.120
watching uh rather than yeah you do rather than doing toad what are you saving it for like what's
00:58:54.440
the moment that you're looking for what does the opportune moment look like to you like when
0.53
00:58:58.200
is what's the recipe she's gonna explode yeah bring up the shirt bring up the shirt tyler sexual healing
00:59:06.680
there we go that's what she's looking for this right here that's the moment you see is it is it
00:59:12.120
like a you're you're at a i don't know like an event and you have some drinks and you meet a lady and
00:59:17.400
you hit it like what is it what do you want he wants a soul mate no no david david i swear to god
00:59:21.400
he wants a soul mate well you can you can you can find a soul mate at he wants a legit we're in love
0.99
00:59:27.720
it's gonna be my first time and we're going to he's waiting for a girl to have sex with
1.00
00:59:36.520
did anyone in the chat say that they're coming to georgia no not a single person i swear to god
0.98
00:59:42.920
we're going to be in an empty room talking it's going to be we're just going to go say racial
00:59:47.720
slurs in front of autists we could just stay home and do that it's called the spin room is what by the
00:59:53.000
way i'm not going for georgia i'm going to hang out with y'all like i'm not this is clint the spin room
00:59:58.360
might have might have like literal like bicycles in it where like old people go during the weekend and
01:00:03.560
they do a student class think about how crazy this is they're giving us from five they pay us
01:00:10.920
they are giving adam nutter an hour and a half they gave us an hour they gave yeah five geniuses before
01:00:19.000
you an hour and they gave adam i didn't i told adam today i told him today in our chat i said hey adam
01:00:24.680
i was like lp georgia messed up one thing they put the uh the headliners as the openers i was like this
01:00:29.640
is like what's going on can he do does he have an hour and a half of material he doesn't have 10
01:00:35.800
minutes jesus why we kill him he's a good friend of ours no because this is serious
01:00:42.040
i think i've seen him do 20. that's a that's a catastrophe if you're like oh yeah adam
01:00:46.520
is going to entertain us until at least eight o'clock and he's like eight o'clock i had a good 15.
01:00:51.960
i had a tight 15. it's like i had a tight i have a tight 10 maybe 15 if i push it
01:00:58.920
because i'll be there usually i see the red light and then i get off minutes of content
01:01:04.840
just making fun of me that i don't know why you'd want to meet adam that's
01:01:08.600
wow i'm actually you guys have anything planned like if you're gonna do a thing like do you have
01:01:13.080
like no david no what the fuck are you talking about we were gonna dance we actually we really
0.89
01:01:19.400
thought about doing the dance and i really was actually looking forward to it the most we've
0.98
01:01:22.680
thought of to make jerseys what the fuck is the dance we we thought about doing the dance from um
0.96
01:01:29.560
it's always sunny it's always sunny for a fucking hour no no no as just an opener and then we're
0.98
01:01:35.160
gonna do our podcast after that but we just thought it'd be really funny if we did that spin room what
0.97
01:01:38.760
do they expect us to do why is there no you're gonna spin you're a spinner you've already been over
01:01:43.400
this you're gonna spin for us i honestly don't know well i i've already explained how i how i shower but
01:01:48.280
i still don't understand what the spin room means do you want me to have a shower on stage what the
01:01:52.120
is toad is the presidential election going to be going on in the spin room hold on a second pull
01:01:57.240
this back up um no it's a two and a half hour presidential debate that's wild and then and
01:02:02.520
then they give us we're gonna be there for this it's so funny that it's like monica perez
01:02:08.360
i love i love that he goes no bring that back up because i gotta read this this is really funny
01:02:11.960
okay it goes hornberger yeah jacob hornberger chase oliver joshua smith mike dermatt lars mapstead
01:02:31.080
there's never been a thing where it's like where someone says presidential debate
01:02:42.920
it's such a great i mean what are we doing this is so crazy hey can we bring up that uh that story
01:02:49.320
about the friends that died in uh kansas city okay or that that that was really funny too but uh
01:02:55.000
city thing is so weird yeah i wanted to talk about this because this is kind of crazy because i feel
01:02:59.240
like this could happen at our airbnb hey well while he pulls this up i want the audience to be in the
01:03:04.600
in the g in the chat saying what should what should what are we going to do for our hour
01:03:10.920
they've already established that they're not coming so this is why i'm asking them now because
01:03:15.560
they're not going to be able to shout out anything because they're not going to be there so
01:03:19.480
give us some idea i guess we're going to go live yeah we're going to yeah we're going live yeah
01:03:23.480
yeah we're going to stream it no we're not going there or not no we're not you have to show the
0.90
01:03:27.480
fuck up don't get these people out show up too you can get tased so all right so what happened
0.95
01:03:33.320
here so three kansas city chiefs fans found frozen to death outside home a friend who had
0.99
01:03:38.600
no knowledge bodies were there so according to him yeah according to him so what he said happened
01:03:44.600
weeks ago yeah so apparently the chiefs were playing the um the charge was it the chargers game
01:03:51.400
yeah it was the last game of the regular season yeah and so like this guy like he had them all
01:03:56.840
over and i guess they were watching the game outside or something and then he goes inside
01:04:01.000
and then they all died outside of his house and he was just like they said his lawyer was like yeah
01:04:07.960
he was sleeping with headphones in and a loud fan on so he didn't hear any knocks at the door
01:04:12.600
he said two people came inside his house at the same time and he had he didn't know they were there
01:04:18.040
and i thought it was such a funny crazy right and nobody knew according to him at least nobody
01:04:23.400
they froze to death they froze to death outside how cold is it can i read this please because it's like
01:04:28.840
20 degrees let me read this three three kansas city chiefs well three kansas city chief fans were found
01:04:35.000
frozen to death in the backyard of their friend's home where they had gathered to watch a game but the
01:04:38.520
homeowner is insisting he had no knowledge that their bodies had possibly been there for two days
01:04:42.920
yeah the bodies of david harrington ricky johnson and clayton mcginney were found on the evening of
01:04:49.640
january 9th after the fiancee of one of the men requested a welfare check casey police told fox
01:04:56.040
digital one man's body was found on the back porch uh with the other two were discovered in the backyard
01:05:01.000
but jordan willis the man who was renting the home had no knowledge that his friends were freezing to
0.96
01:05:04.760
death on his property why didn't they just jump a fence what the fuck i don't think there even is a
0.96
01:05:09.000
fence there's a picture of the house i don't even see you walk out like you leave
0.99
01:05:14.120
what the fuck happened and also it's not being investigated as a homicide
0.93
01:05:19.400
first and foremost this case is 100 not being investigated as a homicide well then reopen the
0.99
01:05:25.800
case dumbfuck it is literally the funniest they said uh maybe it's in there because i was reading
0.74
01:05:32.520
about this the uh apparently like the fiancee or somebody it was one of the guys like uh like
0.98
01:05:38.360
girlfriend or fiancee like message the guy in facebook messenger and the guy in the house was
01:05:42.920
just like yeah i just didn't check my facebook messenger for a while so i never saw it casey
01:05:48.600
police did not immediately respond to a request from the post about why the men may have declined
01:05:53.000
to seek shelter or if they were under the influence of drugs or alcohol look either they they they were
01:05:58.520
all doing whippets and they all fainted simultaneously it has to be something i'm not gonna lie guys
01:06:03.000
where they were murdered by their friend i could see dying like this at clint's house and him not
01:06:08.360
i was thinking that i was thinking that like if we die yeah but the backyard is like the
0.93
01:06:13.320
fucking miami gulf like you're just gonna be up there like you know david if we went into that
0.96
01:06:18.360
room leave you'd drown instead if we went into that second room and put the beanbag in there and
0.99
01:06:22.520
all of us oh he would have never yeah he would have never like in the morning he he drank a lot he
01:06:27.080
would have woke up in the morning he would have never checked i would have gone about his day
01:06:29.960
that you had left i probably yeah the door was closed i probably wouldn't check the room you're
1.00
01:06:33.640
right but this is different because these motherfuckers are sitting in his backyard
1.00
01:06:37.400
with no with a fence and they just chill they just i i really think i'm guessing this has to be
0.99
01:06:43.000
like they were pissed drunk blackout drunk then blacked out on the and then he was like theory
01:06:47.880
that has to be yeah and then he was like out too and he just like he went inside bro there's no way
01:06:53.320
there's no way that four dudes blackout simultaneously one of them does it in his bed and the other three do
01:06:58.520
it in his freezing yard conspiracy theory time we discussed on simple hat today the idea that maybe
01:07:04.840
maybe these people don't have like souls maybe are an actual thing because this is like the sims
0.98
01:07:11.000
shit have you ever seen it yeah yeah where you don't lock them in and they just die yeah like like
0.87
01:07:15.720
that's what happened here they all got the vaccine they didn't they didn't have the ability to to just
0.90
01:07:21.000
do other things so they're kind of like walking like this and they're going and then they go this
01:07:26.040
way and they just freeze to death that's what happened here they're npcs no souls let me read
01:07:30.520
this paragraph this is so funny my husband banged on his door for 20 minutes
01:07:35.480
my friend banged on his door and then busted a window and yelled and announced her presence
0.66
01:07:39.640
while she's inside and still this is like they uh they came the two people came to their house to
01:07:44.600
check these are the fiancés that came to check afterwards and yelled and announced their presence
01:07:49.480
while she's inside and still nothing from him then cops come 10 minutes later and he comes out
01:07:53.960
nonchalant and is boxed with an empty wine glass in hand it's got a huge kratom stain at the bottom
01:08:01.240
i kind of like this guy i'm not gonna lie i like this guy a lot he had this pillow in the back that
01:08:05.800
had a lot of blood on it it's very suspicious the man didn't think it was unusual for his friends to
01:08:11.640
have left their cars there either he's just like he might be just the most retarded he might just be
0.96
01:08:16.600
the most retarded person all the whole time just i assume it's just it's just four dudes that drink so
0.94
01:08:22.440
crazy like that's the only explanation if they killed him why wouldn't you try to make an effort
1.00
01:08:26.840
to fucking move their cars look at this fucking retard look at this retard he's not even smiling
1.00
01:08:31.560
he's just because he knows he's a mouth breather that's toad and he had hair
1.00
01:08:36.840
that guy's dropped dead retarded i'm telling you that guy was what's his name uh that is duke
0.92
01:08:41.720
chastain dude yeah it's duke yeah these three dudes literally did drop imagine having your picture
0.98
01:08:48.040
there and it's saying uh cole 38 froze to death like that's like that's your whole race to death
0.97
01:08:55.000
at halftime what the book like they're combined iq together all four of them had to be like 85.
01:09:02.200
oh that's the guy this is the oh no he was found frozen too what is this it was amazing to see
01:09:08.840
this room filled with all his friends chanting david david david especially every touchdown
01:09:15.080
maybe they should have maybe they should have chanted his name before he froze to death and
0.99
01:09:18.520
woke his ass it is the craziest which guy is it the guy in the middle with his face blocked out
0.99
01:09:23.640
i think it is the guy in the middle with his face blocked out with his face oh no maybe not because
0.99
01:09:27.400
there's yeah it must be right i don't honestly this is one of the strangest stories i've ever
01:09:31.640
seen it is i i saw this and i was like there is no way this is real i think they should stop
01:09:36.600
investigating they should just let him fucking go about his life he seems like a cool guy and this
0.96
01:09:40.440
is a weird situation i think they just let it slide imagine killing like your three best friends
0.99
01:09:44.440
at the halftime of the cheese did he kill them hold on hold on going and passing out and then and
0.99
01:09:49.640
then just taking a little nappy poo fucking sleeping straight through all their fiancés trying to wake
0.99
01:09:54.280
your ass up and then you walk out in your boxers with a wine glass and you're just like huh what's
1.00
01:09:58.840
up two people two people entered your in if like like two people entered my home i would know
1.00
01:10:03.320
immediately if they were there even if i'm like piss drunk like he was so two days later bro's lying
0.56
01:10:10.360
i've seen him drunk to the point he would definitely sleep through something like this i'm gonna do that
01:10:13.960
to this this weekend i'm gonna be i believe it i believe it don't be that way this is self-destructive
01:10:19.720
we need the intervention for coal we did intervention i drink like intervention a
01:10:24.120
clintervention this is the craziest culturevention time what a culturevention why why do we need to
01:10:31.960
i just said i was gonna get like a bottle of rum and some like uh maybe some coke or something you
01:10:37.000
didn't say rum bro you said malibu and sprite uh i said malibu and sprite because malibu is right
01:10:41.480
if you know you know it's really good he's always saying like we're like when we're in georgia we're
01:10:45.000
like oh wouldn't it be cool if like i bought my podcasting setup and we do this and he's like wouldn't
01:10:48.760
it be cool if we like each other's wives dude dude dude in the gc for days he's been talking
01:10:59.160
about all of us just hunting at you i don't know why he's even like why he's he's going to deny it
01:11:03.960
right right now i told cole not to drink like that she said she was going to cut me off i swear to god
0.82
01:11:11.400
she said she doesn't she says i get very like i get aggressive towards her whenever i'm drunk
01:11:15.480
i said i'm like aggressive how sexually aggressive i don't know i can't i don't know i think i just
01:11:20.440
talked to take your shirt off i'm gonna he becomes a little bit no top has seen me drunk and high at
01:11:27.560
the same time i just get in his pool and stare down at the bottom of it and just like not aggressive
01:11:33.400
float so what what is he doing trampoline is he annoying is he treating you badly yeah coke uh
0.62
01:11:41.000
uh cocaine would be fun i think we can expense it we can expense that yeah tower game right
01:11:48.680
we can't expense food or drinks but we can get some cocaine is a cocaine a write-off toad is that
01:11:53.160
a write-off for us i think we should all drop like acid it'd be really fun dude sounds like a
0.97
01:11:59.160
fucking nightmare no i'll drop acid and and the and the women have to and the women have to take care of
1.00
01:12:04.680
we're gonna die three people on this on this screen right now we're gonna die three people
1.00
01:12:11.400
it's not even colder we don't freeze it that we just all overdose on on acid or heroin or some
1.00
01:12:16.120
shit like that i'd be down to do like a like a single mushroom cap and not your dick cole
1.00
01:12:22.760
that's fine i'll do mushrooms i'm the one named toad i'll let it like i'm down for anything like
0.99
01:12:27.560
these i see these weekends that's like attitude that's the exact attitude that we're like it makes
01:12:32.280
me nervous cole that's why we're doing a cold intervention the whole kind of i'm down for
01:12:36.120
anything and then he'll be like you know what i mean and we don't we don't know if jose is coming
01:12:41.400
or he's going to be milking his cats or we have no idea what's going on and jose would bring coke
01:12:45.240
too jose would bring cocaine to do it was one of the most or excuse me jose's jose was remarkable
01:12:51.000
he doesn't he doesn't seem to have that much going on but he's never able to commit to anything
01:12:56.200
yeah it's very weird rumble someone in the rumble chat just goes no jose today
01:13:00.040
they just like didn't realize no way he's not here an hour and ten minutes in yeah it only took
01:13:06.040
you an hour ten to realize i know it's tough i i really like jose is very weird because like it
01:13:11.240
does it it everything points to him being a fed 100 because it is always like no something's come
01:13:17.000
i can't make it out he's like it's like he's got to be with his fed buddies and be like quantico
01:13:20.600
like i'm sorry he's always talking about like his job but i don't even know what he does
01:13:24.200
i i like everybody like yes he said he was an airplane mechanic but i don't believe that that
01:13:29.960
was there that wasn't when he was in the in the military yeah so what does he do now i don't know
01:13:33.960
i have no clue milk's cats i have no idea how do you guys not know you i can do a show with this
01:13:39.080
guy every yes i understand that he's nothing about him we talked about this we don't know his wife's
01:13:45.320
name nope no clue no i don't know his like kids names like he's a pimp it's yeah we think his wife's
0.99
01:13:52.760
made up we have pictures he does literally sling pussy so the only picture that he sent and it's
1.00
01:13:57.320
very expensive pussy it is like high it's like high dollar escorts kind of pussy it is yeah it's
1.00
01:14:02.360
it's what we it's what we would honestly it's what we would expense to the tower account to buy
1.00
01:14:05.960
you some pussy uh toad if you if you if you accepted it i bet you that's what pedos uh market
1.00
01:14:12.120
underage sex slaves as jose's tower gang's fed and you picked him up in the early days of tower
1.00
01:14:22.520
gang when we were like libertarians and the feds were like watch these guys you know how the john
01:14:27.240
brennan thing even libertarians this is 22 jump street now he's just up and partying and he's like
01:14:35.240
watch these guys yeah and now he's just kind of in so deep that he just shows up and he's like but
01:14:39.720
he's not really enthusiastic about it he doesn't really never he's never happy about going anywhere
01:14:44.680
with us no it's always like the whole to do for him he wants to leave he wants to leave as soon as
01:14:50.280
he arrives because it's good it's crazy because it's government work yeah he's like he doesn't get
01:14:55.720
paid on weekends deep state asset he doesn't get paid on weekends he only gets paid for the uh like
01:15:01.080
the the weekdays so he's like i don't get overtime i can't be out here with you i could work
01:15:05.480
wednesday at 9 11 yeah i could do that yeah like very georgia thing no he's he's he's probably going
01:15:10.760
to stay home and milk his cats which i don't even think is a thing yeah i don't think it's the craziest
01:15:15.480
thing you're like i've never heard it i swear to god if you had a friend you had a friend you like
01:15:19.880
invited him over and then he goes like last minute he goes like oh god man i can't make it dude
01:15:23.640
i gotta milk my cats and you'd be like you're like you don't like me like yeah dude you just don't
01:15:29.160
like me bro my hairless cats just gave birth my entire life oh speaking about speaking of
0.99
01:15:37.560
hairy hairless pussy all right yo yeah run this oh no this is amazing
1.00
01:15:42.040
crazy i don't even think toad would do this i mean that jizzed my pants but i wouldn't do it
1.00
01:15:52.520
she didn't even touch it yeah she wasn't taking contact i love how he's sitting there like yo
0.81
01:15:57.880
like nice yeah he's like he comes so easy they come in his pants they come in his pants yo the
01:16:08.280
best the best is how they just start doing drops at the end yes what is he doing he's posing
01:16:16.280
that's a jump right here that's a jump right there oh master twex he's doing the heart shape
01:16:21.800
been around uh this is what i asked have you ever heard like i feel like i know the events going
01:16:40.840
around my hometown or where what kind of event is that yeah yeah like where do you where would you
01:16:45.800
see this like posted or like uh like like like a poster like a flyer like you know what it is you
0.89
01:16:51.800
know the end of rome like how they had yeah the fall where people would just drink and fucking like
0.92
01:16:57.320
we're living through it folks that's right you know what that is though i've seen this i've seen
01:17:02.280
this a bunch of times in my old job uh so i worked and when i worked especially at night because only
01:17:07.640
black people worked at night because they couldn't wake up early to get to the to the day shift so like
1.00
01:17:11.560
they'll have like 30 years of seniority still working at night but they do this and they'll
01:17:16.360
tell each other they'll be like yo you're going through the throw down and they're like nah brother
01:17:19.800
when's the throw down it's like throw down sunday night we're gonna be we're finna be up in the club
01:17:23.640
here and then they give like a it's like a paper like a flyer cheaply made and you look and you're
01:17:28.600
like what the is this it's like retarded and they go yeah bro tap dap them up and then they go
0.95
01:17:34.440
and then they do this this is what that is have you also seen have you also seen them uh do where they uh
01:17:40.520
they buy expensive bottles of alcohol and they pour it out oh yeah it's a show in like the most
01:17:47.480
the more expensive bottle you can buy and just pour it out that shows how cool you are yeah while
1.00
01:17:52.840
bitches twerk on your legs and shit but this is like and they do this and it's just like they'll
1.00
01:17:56.760
rack up thousands and thousands of dollars of alcohol bottles bottles like those and then just
1.00
01:18:01.720
and just and like they're like he's doing another one he's doing it and they'll pour it out and then
01:18:06.680
be like this another guy will come up they throw money in the air too like it's also like not
01:18:10.840
cheapest bottles like two two grand twenty five hundred i mean then that was back you know 15
0.95
01:18:15.080
years ago when i was still going to clubs and shit who knows what the fuck it costs today it's
0.94
01:18:18.120
probably five six imagine making sixty five thousand dollars a year and then buying like
0.97
01:18:24.280
going a weekend on the club and spending like five grand on liquor told this before i've told
01:18:29.320
this before but i have a buddy i have a buddy that works for a car rental company
01:18:32.760
and uh well i have two of them and they and they both told me they were like this is no joke
01:18:37.880
the best time of year the busiest time we get is during tax return season because they will come in
01:18:44.760
and they the funny thing is is like they were like they don't we don't take credit cards so like or
01:18:50.120
there's something like where they don't take either the credit cards or like the charge like the the
01:18:53.800
cards they would get in the mail for the tax returns it's just like a visa they're like they don't
0.95
01:18:57.480
take those they have to have like a actual like credit card and uh they'll come in and be like no dude
01:19:02.680
i got let me get a bmw for the weekend and it's like it's like dude that's like 300 400 whatever
01:19:08.520
and they were like yeah i don't get it and they'll rent it out and let's go to the club dude and that's
01:19:12.680
what they spend and then they'll be and it's funny he was like they're also like it'll be like we don't
01:19:17.080
have like a bmw or like they'll be like give me like a hyundai or something just something nice
01:19:23.960
i don't necessarily believe what you're saying but just even in the hypothetical that this is true
01:19:28.120
it's 100 true it it violates on such a deep level like my my core principles and like life style
01:19:35.080
philosophy hey i'm i'm it genuinely makes me mad just you want to know how bad it is this is 100
01:19:41.080
true they've talked i've had two different uh employees tell me hold on in coney island it's
01:19:45.000
it's way worse than this in coney island you can go i can go there today and some of the stores will
01:19:49.960
not be there they will not have made it through covet rent a center has made it oh yeah do you know what
01:19:55.560
that is i swear yes you rent furniture you rent furniture all kinds of tvs laptops video they're
01:20:04.520
renting sneakers they're renting sneakers and you could you can be on a rental plan for a full year
01:20:11.000
to buy these sneakers it'll cost you two thousand dollars 150 pair of sneakers i have there was a
01:20:16.280
renter center but the first place i lived at was i did not live in a nice place at all it was a it was
01:20:20.520
almost in the hood but there was a renter center right nearby and i was like i wonder what like what
01:20:24.600
the prices are on this and i went and i was like dude these couches like they're not nice and it is
01:20:29.880
like a hundred hundred fifty dollars a month i'm like this is like it's like it's not even like in
01:20:35.880
like three months you'd be able to buy like an okay couch like that you could just use like it would
01:20:39.480
just be whatever like a you know 450 couch you just get that usually i mean just whatever it's like
01:20:46.200
he got his from rent to center he's paying he's paying 500 bucks a month on a lease for a jacket
01:20:52.600
this is what i'm saying it is the craziest thing like what they buy the total iq of this like peep
01:20:58.040
this p these people it pertains to this next clip here that might actually be true i wouldn't be
0.98
01:21:05.240
surprised they got their dei hire for uh pilots this this have you seen this shit is so funny
0.98
01:21:12.600
hey he was on your mom's house today sitting there waiting for them to close the door let
0.99
01:21:17.960
people in close the door and lo and me ho a black female pilot came out of the little cockpit thing
1.00
01:21:25.560
standing at the door talking with the stewardess so i happened to look up i'm like what the we got a
01:21:30.920
black female pilot so when the flight attendant came by down the aisle i said do we have a black
0.99
01:21:37.720
female pilot she's like yes i'm like what the and she was like what's wrong with that i'm like you
01:21:43.320
know female can't fly no airplane and she started laughing and then she went and told the other
1.00
01:21:49.320
flight attendant a black male flight attendant and i asked him the same thing and he was like well
01:21:54.840
there's nothing wrong with that i'm like yes it is is she qualified i asked him was she one of those
01:22:00.200
affirmative action pilot or what and then they went and told her what i said they they said she had
01:22:07.640
uh there was a white male pilot in there as well i'm like so he talks about this he talked about
01:22:14.920
on your mom's house today this happened on his flight to uh do your mom's house and he told them
01:22:20.440
about it he said the actual pilot the lady pilot came out as well she came out to talk to him and
01:22:25.320
he was like uh i don't even know what she said because she would like she wasn't regular black she
0.96
01:22:30.840
was like african black you know she was shiny he was like he was like shine yeah they do shine dude
0.92
01:22:39.800
they're very shiny and he was like yo dude i knew this one guy that like i used to go to church with
01:22:44.440
him when he was like nine years old his mom used to put vaseline on his face he used to come out
0.81
01:22:48.200
fucking like yo why would they do that i don't know it's because they get ashy dude yeah why would
0.96
01:22:55.480
the vaseline fix it because it's just it's just a layer like you put over a boxer i don't know yeah
0.99
01:23:00.840
they're fighting so much they have to go out like with vaseline on they're just always ready for a fight
0.85
01:23:09.160
looking like uh george st pierre with all the fucking we gotta keep your bridge line slick so if you
0.99
01:23:14.760
catch catch a one two you'll be all right they put it on his shoulders they put on their shoulders
0.97
01:23:19.240
and everything like like george st pierre just because they can't hear their smoke detectors
01:23:25.000
oh i get it that's uh that's that's a tweet that's a tweet that's a tweet that's definitely a tweet i
01:23:30.120
don't know whether to press this one what the are you talking about this one with a banger it's like
01:23:34.680
it's like in between and it works it works but it's definitely jesse lee peterson going what the
01:23:40.920
do you know we need to drop now get this jacket off my screen jesse we're running out of time
01:23:48.360
what has been your favorite part of this interview your attitude you have an amazing attitude and i
01:23:56.120
love the way you communicate the questions you ask it's not personal and and especially being a jew
01:24:02.360
you and you right he's 78 years old he's supposed to be 70. he looks he looks great dude he's crazy
01:24:15.320
in his mouth area but he was like kind of juicy you know he's stroked out right he's had a stroke
01:24:19.400
guy so oh for sure there's no way that that's natural you gotta listen to you guys can't be that
01:24:24.600
cool without having had a stroke man i know clint listens to your mom's house watch the your mom's
01:24:29.160
house episode today with him because everything he says is like amazing is amazing like dude he
01:24:34.200
literally goes through he was like uh he was like growing up he was like uh because apparently like
01:24:40.040
he he had problems with his mom and so he said that's where like a lot of men become gays because
01:24:45.000
they have problems with their mom uh like they get they're mad at their mom so i want to talk about
01:24:49.000
this this might be true this might be true but i don't think it's our fault you guys are pulling in nick
01:24:53.880
ashley it is not no don't victim blame us that we have to listen to his jokes and then we're the
01:24:59.640
problem listen this is this is like whenever you smack your wife around and then whenever you raise
01:25:03.160
her hand she flinches like this is just he's just smacking us around with this yeah this yeah
0.90
01:25:08.440
i'm all shell-shocked have some fucking sympathy terrible jokes but so it was the funny it's like
0.91
01:25:13.560
so they asked him like why did you hate your mom and and he was like because she wasn't amazing
0.96
01:25:20.040
no no because he was like because she uh didn't let me see my dad and she hated my dad so he was
01:25:24.680
like i i was really resented her for not letting me be she's like well why did she hate your dad
0.75
01:25:29.080
and she was like because my dad had sex with her standing up and then she got pregnant
1.00
01:25:33.400
and and they were like what and he was like yeah back then they thought that if you had sex standing
0.92
01:25:38.680
up you couldn't get pregnant so when they had sex standing up and she got pregnant she got really mad
0.99
01:25:43.320
at him because she he told her and i was like they just up their whole relationship that caused
01:25:48.040
him to abandon his child yes because they thought yeah they they legit thought that if you had sex
0.53
01:25:55.960
standing up if you if you had sex like laying down like you get pregnant but if you stand up i guess
0.60
01:26:00.680
it just falls out or whatever and you can't get pregnant and so and he was like he was like the
01:26:06.200
first time i had sex in high school i had but i got a pregnant and they were like were you standing up
0.86
01:26:10.440
he was like no i was laying down and that's why i got a pregnant i swear to god go listen it's so
01:26:15.160
funny dude everything he goes he talks about how like uh it made me think because he says um
01:26:21.400
he was like the people he's like people that don't have anger they have the best life and i was just
01:26:25.800
like yep me i was like i was just like we gotta figure out how to get him on this show because i
01:26:32.040
was thinking i want him so bad after today and dude he was dropping truth bombs too it actually was he was
01:26:37.080
like i was in contact with this producer a while oh yeah yeah i got it i was listening to his show
01:26:43.080
live on uh twitter today and i was like this is good like this guy i mean he's like he's a pastor
01:26:48.920
oh is he really he's a pastor yeah and he he also he was born he was born on a plantation and he worked
01:26:56.120
to put a plantation in alabama swear to god he talks about it he was like he has like nine brothers and
01:27:02.360
sisters or whatever and they all worked the plantation but then he said they all like grew
01:27:05.960
up and were doctors and lawyers and i was like what church is which is his church because i would
01:27:09.720
imagine going there every week that must be fucking hilarious i mean i bet the choir is going crazy dude
0.98
01:27:15.640
but the yeah dude it's and he was he literally said he was like uh a gay he was like you're gay
0.98
01:27:20.840
because you uh because like you resent your mother and you start acting like her and so you take on
0.89
01:27:27.080
when when he does those interviews and he just goes you gay yeah with destiny when he goes like uh
0.99
01:27:35.080
you you have a wife right and he's like yeah he's like hey hey she has sex with other men you are beta
1.00
01:27:44.360
i thought elijah was saying that when he was talking to destiny uh jesse lee peters is like
01:27:49.080
your name destiny and he's like yeah my name's destiny he's like that's a girl's name
01:27:52.920
he's like no it's not he's like yeah it is he literally was talking about like if he was like
0.84
01:27:58.920
all these gays just need to forgive their mom and then they'll stop being gay and that's swear to god
1.00
01:28:03.480
that's what he was like and he was like he said dude we need to get him with owen benjamin because
0.99
01:28:08.600
i'm not lying he wants to have uh he wants to bring back plantations for blacks and that's what he says
0.99
01:28:13.880
he was like i want to have plantations for blacks again and i was like this is exactly what i'm not gonna
0.68
01:28:17.880
do you that's a great idea oh yeah he says he wants that and like it would be amazing episode
01:28:22.360
and your mom's house is like well why don't you also have plantation for gay people as well he was
0.98
01:28:25.960
like that's amazing he's like he's like i'll run a black plantation and a gay plantation so we can he
0.92
01:28:33.880
was like because he was like we need to teach black people how to be like have a work ethic so that they
0.92
01:28:37.880
already have gay plantations it's called a rave um all right could we could we pull mail back actually uh
0.99
01:28:43.400
oh shit mailbag let's let's thank our let's thank our sponsor n-a-d-e-a-u shavecoat.com
0.99
01:28:49.560
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0.99
01:28:54.760
who hasn't if you've been watching toad's latest podcast where he advises you on how to blow your
01:28:59.880
life savings on some half-cocked thesis about how because this team was on the road but they're coming
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off of the the death of their uh physical trainer uh and you've lost your life savings well you're gonna need
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the best razor in the game make sure you get it right the first time n-a-d-e-a-u shaveco.com
01:29:15.640
that's the dose shaveco.com promo code tower gang fuck toad it's incredible that like we actually do
0.95
01:29:22.040
sell some of these razors and it's constantly we're constantly saying like if you want to kill yourself
01:29:26.760
with them and people keep buying them when we say that so that's why we keep doing that
01:29:31.240
have you listened our audience numbers have been dropping too it's really weird listen
01:29:35.080
watch you want to rebuild the razor wire fence there buy some there you go those they're gonna keep
01:29:40.280
those illegals out um have you seen when uh dave smith does his nado read yeah it's one well one he
01:29:47.560
calls it he's even called the dough he calls it uh uh like oh yeah he's like nadu or some
0.97
01:29:53.400
like that and it's terrible it's not even like it's just some bland horseshit yeah but we come in here
01:29:59.240
i've actually never heard it pronounced outside of you guys and it'd be hilarious if you guys were saying
01:30:03.240
it wrong this whole honestly i might be saying it wrong but you know what you know what the way i say it
01:30:08.040
sounds better it's the way it sells the way we say it sells i'll just say that yeah hey mailbag we
01:30:13.480
need to bring up mailbag because uh i feel bad that we didn't get to it until an hour and a half
01:30:17.560
into the show all right mailbag honestly i think this is how we ought to do it starting off with
01:30:22.120
the mailbag is kind of dumb mark vestibule says also by the way also people in the chat are saying
01:30:28.440
that owen just did uh jason peterson's show so which actually i need to probably go yeah but we
01:30:33.240
we can we can direct it in a way that would be better go ahead says some of you guys are all are
01:30:37.640
all right or right i don't know which don't go to the convention uh and he appears to be threatening us
01:30:49.160
it's like he's uh who's the guy who's the guy that uh did the bombing at uh the 1996 olympics
01:30:58.520
in georgia i don't remember his name he was i think that was adam nutter oh yeah he's gonna be
01:31:04.120
bombing oh my god you know what it's it's considered it's crossed my head of like like i like do i want
01:31:11.320
to see him bomb or do i just leave immediately after i'm oh no we're we're going to get in
01:31:14.920
phase we ain't watching his hour and a half hour and a half some holes on this i want to say
01:31:21.560
why would they give us an hour give him this one dude who's got five minutes of material give him an
01:31:25.880
hour and a half we're doing until we're done and they don't i don't think they know that and
01:31:29.160
then adam could do his 15 after i do you see that you see that his his starts an hour after ours is
01:31:35.880
supposed to end they're definitely giving us two hours there i mean that's just what i see
01:31:41.160
then he gets 15 minutes to flop and then the other 15 of stuff that he sort of worked out and that's
01:31:45.400
going to be the time frame so that's probably what we'll do i think it's because adam nutter's
01:31:49.240
stage setup is so elaborate he needs an hour to set it up hey hey the mailbag is not is not intended to
01:31:55.080
threaten our lives so if you could not do that he's not threatening us he's telling us he's
01:31:59.080
oh yeah he was saying don't go he's the quiet kid with the backpack and he's looking over at us
01:32:04.760
because we gave him a candy bar one day and he goes like i think you should get out of the room
01:32:10.120
is it pronounced vestibule i don't know maybe it's vestibule vestibule i don't know don't get
01:32:17.160
to see now someone in the chat is going to defend that joke and i'm going to say
01:32:19.960
well i think he saw this would be funny if toad uh was mispronounced mark's name each time and he
01:32:26.280
saw that and he was like oh i'll make a joke over this it was worse than that that joke's actually
0.98
01:32:29.720
really funny that matt said thank you matt that motherfucker um mayo monkey 35 says
0.98
01:32:39.160
is the earth flat and if so is this how the attack on pearl harbor happened and he's got uh an image
0.97
01:32:50.760
we're gonna have to consult with owen on this one yeah or just top and uh david well this isn't the
01:32:56.040
flat earth map so it's not a flat earth map yeah yeah you gotta show us from the top and then we'll see
01:33:01.400
what it's a circle it's a circle and then there's the ice uh the ice uh wall around it in the middle
01:33:07.160
an article all around it lizard people on the sides jewish people underneath and yeah agartha because
01:33:13.240
i i like that is where the jews are i like the i i didn't necessarily believe in flat earth but i think
01:33:18.760
flat earth and hollow earth together match made in heaven sexy idea yeah yeah sexy idea
01:33:25.720
we do you know the hollow earth he he bought up some hollow earth
0.99
01:33:29.000
shit to sam tripoli and he almost fucking jizzed his pants today oh yeah about like
0.98
01:33:33.000
the underground i know clint clint's eyes were like this he was so fucking annoyed he couldn't
0.99
01:33:38.680
stand it i could hear him like the exhale the hard exhale clint you lived in like you lived in uh
01:33:43.560
california did you ever see the uh if i didn't know clint no i'm telling you if i didn't know clint
01:33:48.920
i would feel uncomfortable during that part of the episode because he was so uninterested i felt
01:33:53.560
uncomfortable you felt uncomfortable saying i was like does he even i don't think he liked this
01:33:58.040
is so weird i feel like i'm being gaslit because like i'm really just like i'm happy to be there
01:34:03.560
i'm enjoying the conversation i'm like this is also interesting and you guys are just like mythologizing
01:34:08.520
this entire event it's great i look at clint and then i looked at david i looked at clint and i looked
01:34:12.360
at dave and i said i wonder if david's gonna bail on this story because the looks clint is i was a little
01:34:16.680
bit i was so upset when he left the show i really wanted to talk to him in the post show to be like
01:34:21.880
yo is everything good like are we is everything okay it really means a lot to me and i really
01:34:29.240
want this to go well y'all are ridiculous i like this bit though i like it i like it how you guys just
01:34:33.320
make it make it seem like i'm the most insufferable kind of a human being even though i'm like i'm just
0.89
01:34:37.640
chilling we talk about it like i'll call top and i'll be like i'd really want clint to like me
01:34:43.720
and top is like top will be like just hang in there dude like just keep doing what you're doing
01:34:48.600
i think it's like you that's the weird thing she's cutting him down yeah like like like i've already
01:34:55.320
decided that i like you and you're like i'm gonna talk to this until he likes
01:34:59.080
me and i'm like no that's not how it works though but you lived in you lived in california so you
01:35:05.320
you definitely saw like the uh the secret buildings they build for what they say are uh gas like um
01:35:13.000
or oil uh derricks you know what i'm talking about in the ocean no in on like in the city
0.93
01:35:20.200
have you not seen this this is a real fucking thing oil derricks and send derrick's in san
0.97
01:35:25.080
diego or at least in la and in california they'll build buildings apparently around oil
0.99
01:35:30.600
there we gotta do better guys well we need to be way more gay we're knowing we're gay enough
01:35:37.880
no what are you talking about though cole there's there's abandoned oil rigs
0.68
01:35:40.760
yeah why are you bringing no no it's not abandoned they're working and they build fake buildings
01:35:45.800
around them no and the buildings there's nothing in california yes in like la never heard oh yeah
01:35:52.200
near like out near bakersfield and shit there's some oil but they don't they don't build buildings
0.97
01:35:56.280
around them i swear yes they do i see the derricks they fucking go pull pull it tyler's pulling it up
0.99
01:36:01.320
right now baker's making shit up like uh that's i could see the derrick bruh go back up go back up
0.98
01:36:08.760
to the one that was in look who's that guy that's a derrick bruh that's a derrick there's ones that
0.95
01:36:15.080
they have like uh they build like buildings around them and like they like to keep them like hidden
01:36:20.280
what i'm saying though that one's just on the sidewalk that was just that was just randomly in
0.53
01:36:24.600
the neighborhood that's like a photoshop why is he making shit up the urban oil fields of los angeles
0.68
01:36:30.440
dude you know even how to spot la's hidden oil rigs dude i'm telling this is like this is why we had
01:36:37.400
clint on tinfoil happy no because all i'm saying is like if they're if they're this this dude is
01:36:44.280
just that just weird though this would have been this would have been like whatever the opposite of
01:36:47.960
mount crushmore is this this little tangent that he just took us on that's what that was
01:36:52.920
i think we're gonna be on mount crushmore after it was over he was like jesus christ you guys are
01:36:57.640
unbelievable he's like really what he in the in the very beginning what he did say was he said uh
01:37:04.120
i actually just did want an f on the desk one i swear to god that's what he said and i was like
01:37:14.280
clint's rolling his eyes again clint's rolling his eyes again like whatever no it's true i was
01:37:18.520
there i was there i don't even care if he wanted me or not no he he definitely he loves you i know
01:37:23.960
that he does i've heard i think he likes me more than he likes any of y'all to be honest probably
01:37:28.600
because well that's how it started but not how it ended me and david were on stream first and he was
01:37:33.160
like all right guys and it looked like i didn't realize he was thinking like we're ready to start
01:37:37.160
and then clint pops and he goes oh clint the heavy hitter's here he wasn't expecting a third person
01:37:42.440
he was like i just invited these two guys and they bought one more dude this is how i felt
01:37:48.280
whenever toad was jerking off in the corner it's like i brought two and then there was one more
01:37:58.200
you know what's what's so weird to me though and i i i know i've already said this but i have to just
01:38:03.160
double down on it because it's so bizarre to me i've watched tripoli on rogan at least a hundred times
01:38:09.240
at least and it's so weird for him to to talk so positively about us to refer me as the heavy
01:38:15.400
hitter just because i have a hundred thousand followers on twitter like that means at all
01:38:19.560
it's just it's weird it means he's saying tower gang is like the you know the like the truth
01:38:26.840
the guards of of funny right now which is like you know can we can we are we going to discuss i want to
01:38:31.880
do some more of uh of killing clint uh clint sent us after we're gonna have to come up with a graphic at
01:38:37.640
some point yeah because uh clint sent us uh uh he sent us like a picture and it was whenever he
01:38:44.360
was in the uh like an airplane he's like i'm flying first class and i'm sitting beside a guy
01:38:49.480
that has a million followers and a guy that has like whatever the number of followers has like
01:38:54.680
2.5 and i was like clint definitely just shows he's like clint's just giving us his script for
01:38:59.880
like all the underage girls he hits on on miami beach i swear to god he goes like it was it was uh
01:39:05.960
luke and then it was who was the other guy brett bear from fox news yeah and he goes he goes like
01:39:11.880
he was like and i got a hundred thousand followers and i'm sitting in first class with with the guy
01:39:16.840
that has a million for the record i didn't say how many followers i had i said i said in front in this
01:39:21.640
front row because there's only three oh he's like you know how many followers i have there was there
01:39:26.440
was three seats in first class and combined it was like 2.2 million followers on twitter alone
01:39:31.480
it was just weird it was weird it just was funny because he just sells this and i can just imagine
01:39:35.800
him just being like just looking at like a girl and he's like i was just gonna pick her 2.2 million
01:39:41.080
uh followers in this picture bitch and that's first class you know it's funny think about all the other
1.00
01:39:46.280
rows it's like look at this four people in that row 17 followers total you don't want to be in that row
0.95
01:39:53.800
he's like there's 2.2 million uh followers in this plane alone and then they're all in this first row
01:39:59.400
right here this plane is top heavy this plane can capsize at any moment there's so many followers
01:40:04.040
in the front yo you're gonna have to you're gonna have to put some bags in the back because we gotta
01:40:07.720
we gotta even out the weight in this we ain't even gonna be able to fly with this
01:40:12.120
we got so much followers up in front you gotta put the package in the back
0.71
01:40:15.400
bitch listen i got so much pool in this world that you gotta put you gotta put something in the
1.00
01:40:20.760
back of the plane because i'm pulling down he's at the party in the corner he's like they don't know
0.96
01:40:24.760
i was just on tim pool he was like yeah you won't stop saying it he's like sam trippoli loves me sam
01:40:32.440
trippoli loves me sam trippoli been on joe rogan 150 times he said i the he said i the man
01:40:39.480
bitch first class that i'm flying this dude it is funny whatever like i've told people like
0.99
01:40:45.800
hey we're having like owen benjamin on and they go who who's that yeah you're not in like this world
0.97
01:40:50.120
like it's like or like hey i was on sam trippoli's pocket that like who like i've done so much cool
01:40:55.080
shit and i tell my parents about it and my mom's just like so you think you're ever going to be on
0.81
01:40:59.320
like what's the what's the pitch that got fired from fox the super smoke show that's megan kelly
0.99
01:41:03.960
megan kelly but all that's all my mom cares about it's like tucker carlson megan kelly if i talk to
0.90
01:41:09.480
either of them i will have done something up until then i have done jack shit not gonna lie even like
0.91
01:41:14.520
i bet if we were like elon like dude we had i talked to elon musk the other day and he follows me they'd be like
0.95
01:41:20.040
you almost sucks he's like when i got when i got the rogan follow at least my parents were like
0.88
01:41:28.040
that's neat so like he followed you like what's that big deal right yeah like does he does he
0.99
01:41:33.240
know you does he talk to you is he like don lemon like don is he like don lemon or like a little bit
01:41:39.880
when we went to meet this guy rife i told my parents they're watching my kids i'm like we're
01:41:43.720
just gonna go out there and hang out and they're like yeah yeah but you'll be back right and i'm like
01:41:47.800
yeah we're gonna be back like we're not gonna be back too late it was like nine o'clock and he's
01:41:51.320
like what are you doing i'm like i'm talking to a guy who develops like frequency healing technology
01:41:56.280
and is is doing like all this kind of like advanced uh electricity electric
01:42:01.080
and he's like stop playing your childish games yeah stop playing games you're gonna be home
01:42:05.720
right i'm like you don't like you don't care they don't give a don't care at all they don't
0.97
01:42:09.720
it's insane parents just don't understand you know what i mean those boomers
01:42:18.600
all right all right all right what's the last question do we have any more sure oh yeah tim t uh
0.98
01:42:24.040
i was tim tebow holy shit tim tebow yeah i love that guy i was recently at the feed store and the
0.99
01:42:29.960
old man behind the counter told me the reason jews get circumcised is because their women won't accept
0.99
01:42:35.000
anything that isn't 15 off wow have you ever had a complete stain or stranger tell you a great joke
01:42:41.720
and if so what was it i want to say it was a joke but i did have i was at uh at the movie theater and
01:42:47.800
it was after i think watching like the last jedi or something like that so like everybody does after a
01:42:52.440
movie they go to the bathroom like immediately because you got to you sat there for two hours
01:42:55.640
you got pissed you just drank like a whole thing of mountain dew or whatever so i go in there and i
01:42:59.160
piss a bunch of guys in there pissing as well and then we get up to like go wash our hands and like
01:43:04.120
it was one of those ones that like you have to like do the weird like the it's got the sensor yeah
0.96
01:43:09.560
the sensor that never works because so i'm sitting there trying to do it look like i'm jerking off the
01:43:14.360
thing the guy comes up next to me he does the same thing and it's like not coming on he just looks
01:43:19.240
over at me and he goes and then he walks out and i was just like and i lost it dude it was the funniest
01:43:29.000
thing i've ever seen this guy just goes it's like we both didn't wash our hands and then walked out
01:43:36.120
i thought that was it's one of the best like moments i've had as with a total stranger that's
01:43:40.440
pretty dope i don't have a memory like that where i can like like if it happened yesterday i could tell
01:43:45.640
you about it but like remember that just stuck with me it just stuck with me because it's so funny
01:43:50.120
for somebody to just be like just looking just be like top you got you got a memory like that top
01:43:54.200
i'll tell you i'll tell you the truth everybody that i meet in real life has been non-exceptional
01:43:59.720
and it's kind of upsetting completely forgettable uh up your game people when you see me do something
01:44:05.320
do something make it do something do a magic trick be memorable magic blow your brains out
0.76
01:44:10.200
i love those memes though by the way just like going up to a very pretty girl and just like
01:44:22.840
committing suicide right in front of her and just be like you'll never forget this and it's just like
0.90
01:44:26.280
no one ever believe you i've never had a i did hear a stupid joke earlier today that i thought was
0.99
01:44:31.880
funny it was like my grandpa you know went to the doctors and the doctor said you gotta get your
0.99
01:44:35.960
shit together and so at like 60 years old he started to go for uh runs and he would run like
0.99
01:44:42.180
five miles every day and he's 82 now and we don't know where the fuck he is and it's like
0.99
01:44:47.740
this is the same guy that you said was like chopping wood was that the whole what was that
0.99
01:44:52.200
that shit was not real my fucking family lied to me they told me that my grandpa was a dude who
0.99
01:44:57.880
really loved hard work and when he had some heart issues he went to the doctor the doctor was like yo
1.00
01:45:02.820
dog you can't fucking work hard anymore like you got to take it easy but my grandpa this is i i'm
0.97
01:45:07.120
telling you this is a fucking lie but this is what my family told me and i haven't been able to confirm
0.99
01:45:11.140
it's a lie except for by common sense so the doctor goes you can't fucking work hard anymore you got to
1.00
01:45:16.200
take it easy so my grandpa says no unacceptable i i love work i'm gonna work until i die so what
0.98
01:45:21.180
grandpa does is he goes to his house he calls up the fucking delivery guy and he says hey order uh me a
0.98
01:45:27.940
dump truck filled with logs and dump it on my front lawn uh which by the way we did the math
0.98
01:45:33.360
it's like twenty thousand dollars my grandpa didn't have twenty thousand i don't know why the
0.99
01:45:36.720
fuck you would lie to me like this it's so bizarre so grandpa has twenty thousand dollars worth of wood
0.99
01:45:41.720
delivered to his house he then uh proceeds to chop it and and this is but he this calls all the family
1.00
01:45:49.160
from all over the fucking you know united states and south america they all fly to uruguay because
0.95
01:45:53.680
that's where my i'm uruguayan and so they all gather around oh you're a kid to watch them
0.95
01:45:58.360
well yeah that's different though that's not the same thing yeah jesus christ i'm having flashbacks
0.93
01:46:03.340
middle school that's fucking unbelievable i never fucking all right so i never fucking heard that
0.98
01:46:08.000
one uh so so grandpa basically uh allegedly chops wood with my family as an audience and then uh works
0.97
01:46:18.000
himself into some sort of cardiac arrest and dies in his bed that night and that's and i'm like
01:46:23.020
kings that's not fucking true though my grandpa didn't have it's a great story though it's a
0.99
01:46:27.340
great story but my grandpa's still alive this is bullshit my grandfather bought 20k worth of wood
1.00
01:46:33.760
and his heart exploded while he was chopping it for no fucking reason dude just couldn't fucking
0.99
01:46:38.480
take it easy i actually did chop wood with my grandpa when i was younger like that's what we
0.99
01:46:42.340
would go do on saturdays yeah and he died that's what they call jerking he is dead yeah you're part of
01:46:46.440
town um look all right so let's go around the bend because i thought that was a funny story uh
01:46:51.180
just go around the bend saying the the most egregious lie that we were told as children
01:46:55.140
and this one i do remember because it was so profound my my stepfather was uh i was told that
01:47:01.020
uh his dad real father no his dad my grandpa his dad my grandpa had had a heart attack so he had to
01:47:08.220
go back to new york to be with them and he was going to be gone for a couple months uh you know because
01:47:13.080
he was he was really sick uh and this was during christmas so i i i miss him during christmas and he
0.95
01:47:19.080
comes back and he's fucking jacked he's jacked out of his mind and i was like this is weird you know
0.96
01:47:24.440
and then i my grandpa comes to visit the like the for my birthday like eight months later and i and i
0.98
01:47:29.440
walk up to him i'm like i'm so glad that you survived the heart attack like did it hurt you
01:47:33.360
know i'm like asking him details he has no fucking clue what i'm talking about i'm 11 11 12 years old
0.96
01:47:38.520
so i go over to my my uh my mom and i'm like hey grandpa doesn't seem to remember having a heart
01:47:44.080
attack uh does he have dementia you know and like because like their whole story is getting blown up
01:47:49.800
right right before their their very eyes turns out stepdad got thrown in prison for three months for
01:47:55.160
tax evasion got shredded because he was just hitting the yard the entire time comes out and he's just
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01:48:00.520
fucking like seriously fucking jacked it was crazy uh so that's mine what about you that's a cool story
0.95
01:48:06.200
i like that yeah that's actually great like they should have just told you the real reason like
1.00
01:48:09.640
fucking grandpa's hard ass like that is fucking awesome yeah it's always it's always like that
0.99
01:48:15.760
like i think i've told the story like my grandma she was a i don't know like a big pentecostal
1.00
01:48:20.700
christian very like holy roller but then the more like she's died and the more i ask about her as an
01:48:26.240
adult i'm like she had like a tumultuous past she was a bootlegger on a mountain in puerto rico
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01:48:31.200
she was throwing boiling water at the catholics like she was a wild bitch and you would have not
1.00
01:48:38.020
like they would they wouldn't have let me know that about grandma until she's dead later yeah
0.99
01:48:41.960
real for real i think it just runs in the family and even though they don't tell you about it like
0.81
01:48:46.880
you manifest it anyway it's in your blood to do weird wild shit yeah so that's my dad told me his
0.88
01:48:53.120
grandpa was half native american i did a generalist instead of my cousin we're zero percent
0.99
01:48:57.260
the white side of my fucking family thinks they're all native americans my aunt all of her decor is
0.99
01:49:04.360
fucking native american shit no native americans i got one more caveat to to my step deadline to me
1.00
01:49:10.080
i didn't he's i love him to the end of the earth so this is not there's no hate or malice here but
1.00
01:49:14.560
the other story he told me when i was like 9 10 and my little brother was like one or two years old
01:49:19.140
he would always make us breakfast on the weekends because that was like the one time that he was you
01:49:23.680
know he was there and not at work and and he would uh he would make eggs and they're nothing special
01:49:29.440
but i i because i only got them once a week i was like this is a very special day uh you know
01:49:33.980
charlie my stepdad he's here to make us eggs and eggs and bacon or whatever the fuck some basic
0.98
01:49:38.120
breakfast and and well he would cook them he would tell us these stories about how he was a fucking
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01:49:42.580
a chef in the old west out on the prairie and i was such a fucking retard at 11 years old that i was
0.99
01:49:49.780
like wow this is his oldest shit like i can't
0.99
01:49:52.440
it's such a good idea this is i'm gonna start doing this to my kids like just like i did that
0.99
01:50:00.280
that's why i wanted to lie to your kids all the time so my kid had like you know he was going through
01:50:04.880
the too afraid to go to sleep too afraid of the dark type of deal and basically i forget how we got
01:50:10.720
here but it was like yeah monsters were real but the good news is they're not real anymore and he's
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01:50:15.400
like well why aren't they real anymore i'm like because your mother and i we fucking killed them all
0.99
01:50:19.440
like in the monster wars we fucking killed them all dude brandish weapons and we ended those
0.99
01:50:25.160
faggots i took your story because he told me this like in real life and i was laughing i took this
1.00
01:50:30.440
story my son said the same shit he was like i'm scared i'm scared and i said don't be scared and
1.00
01:50:34.480
he's like but i'm scared i said yo i have a gun and he's like what's that and i said do you know
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01:50:39.860
what that mean i swear to god it's like right before bedtime and i was like you know what that is
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01:50:42.880
and he was like no and i was like come over here so we walked i fucking take the gun out and i'm
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01:50:46.720
like look at this shot his ass he can't hear from his left ear you should be scared of monsters you
0.99
01:50:54.160
be scared of me bitch so i showed it to him he's three and i showed it to him and i'm like you want
1.00
01:50:59.140
to touch that and he like he touches it and he picks it up it's like whoa not like that and i was
0.99
01:51:02.820
like so then i explained to him i was like listen man if there's a fucking monster coming in here i'm
0.99
01:51:06.580
just gonna shoot it like you gotta understand i'm gonna kill this thing and he's like oh that's
0.99
01:51:11.040
a relief yes and it's just like yes that's it fuck yeah that's so the craziest part was whenever
0.99
01:51:16.580
his son saw toad for the first time he's like shoot it shoot it shoot it i bought my son a
0.99
01:51:22.140
sword he has a sword like no shit like i but it's a fucking weird thing now that i'm saying it out loud
0.99
01:51:26.600
but i bought him a sword it helps him sleep so on nights no shit that's not a fucking lie it's a
0.99
01:51:31.140
real sword too but when he has a hard time sleeping he fucking takes his sword and he holds his sword and
0.98
01:51:36.380
goes to sleep it's in a sheet you know but yeah he's got one no i forgot i forgot to mention that
0.97
01:51:40.880
my my stepdad called himself a cowboy chef because i was named after i was i was named after clint
01:51:46.260
eastwood so uh is he making you western omelets yeah yeah maybe i don't even know but but i would
01:51:52.300
watch i would watch clint eastwood movies and and you know they were like black and white so the fact
01:51:57.340
that i was so retarded that i was like yeah yeah he was like he was definitely he was definitely he's
0.90
01:52:01.860
definitely old enough to have been around during the black and white you know movies so i'm sure that's
01:52:05.800
when the westerns were being shot was during that same period of the 1950s it's just retarded
1.00
01:52:10.360
kids are stupid that's all how many i'm just gonna be lying to my kids about like slime all the time
0.99
01:52:15.320
everything in the future where they're gonna be like he told me that he was in the war
1.00
01:52:18.720
the great war the great yeah i don't think why of 2020 there's just stuff that they like omit like
01:52:25.160
my mom like i don't know told me like way more recently like did i ever tell you about like when
01:52:29.200
my father tried to like murder me i'm like what yeah yeah it's a good same with me it's like i found
01:52:34.180
just more stuff about my family they didn't lie necessarily i just found out stuff like
01:52:37.960
oh yeah actually i can't say that that is wait you know i'll say a good one i'll tell i'll tell
01:52:43.060
y'all in person it's actually my parents my parents have been together for a long time my mom was like
01:52:48.560
17 or 18 and my dad was like 19 or when they started dating they got married at 26 and they told
01:52:55.820
me like yeah we never fucked i'm like 10 years they're like but like before that they were like you
0.95
01:53:00.940
know you got to save for marriage and all the shit and i believed them i'm like oh these people
0.98
01:53:04.000
were like fucking the best people and i'm like but then you think about it like it's 10 years
0.98
01:53:08.700
there's just no what if you asked you guys you think they would still say that
0.98
01:53:12.420
yeah they'd still lie they'd be like yeah no for sure but you guys were going on vacations you're
01:53:19.940
gonna say you never did i'm like no i can't respect you as a man if that's the case and it's just
01:53:23.880
not the case all i had to do was just uh just add up my sister my sister's like birth date and then
01:53:29.860
my parents wedding date and it was very obvious like they didn't wait at all and like and they're
01:53:34.900
just more spiritual than your parents i'm born nine months after new year's eve and there's a
01:53:40.640
specific new year's eve party where they told me it's a crazy story they drive into seagate and and i
01:53:45.740
think my mom was pregnant with me at the time because the next year i was born they drive into seagate
01:53:49.520
some guy's tailing you know he smashed yeah for sure mama heavies yeah so but listen to this story
01:53:55.640
they drive in someone's tailing them and they pull over for the guy the guy turns out to have a gun
01:54:02.100
comes out to the side of their car and basically like i think he tries to actually pull on them
01:54:07.120
but the gun is jammed and then my aunt drives away and a year later i'm born but my the point of
01:54:12.760
story is that my dad's in the front seat and he's passed out because like they were like no idea
01:54:17.020
yeah he was trashed and they were bringing him home so this is what i'm saying like you guys
0.63
01:54:22.700
you guys you found out that uh that i i carry all the fucking time like we we slept over at matt rife's
0.98
01:54:29.540
and i wake up in the morning and uh i go to get coffee and my wife is making fun of me because my
0.96
01:54:35.420
sweatpants are being dragged down by my fucking glock that's on my hip still i slept with it like i
0.99
01:54:40.580
always that's the benefit of being in florida is i never take my my gun is literally right there right
0.97
01:54:46.440
there i can look at it it's right there out of arm's reach not really comfortable at one point
01:54:50.700
when he when he went over because it's like it's tight to get into the table he went over and he
01:54:54.260
goes and he goes oh that's my gun and he sat down and i'm like yeah that's his gun and everyone
01:54:58.660
else is probably like that's kind of funny like no like all the time i assumed you were telling
01:55:03.840
the truth yeah i mean like literally always i mean i came from new jersey where it's like you
01:55:08.440
couldn't fucking have one for the life you look you look exactly like a dude that would move
0.98
01:55:13.240
heavyweight in the cocaine market oh yeah yeah it's the fucking it's the the hawaiian shirt
1.00
01:55:20.440
the tattoos the facial hair the hair the face the whole thing you're a fucking cocaine dude dude i
1.00
01:55:26.060
was i've been getting i used to sell drugs but not a reading is who's that there's a guy that he's
0.99
01:55:30.860
become a comedian now but he was he said he was like running cocaine like back joey diaz no no not
01:55:37.040
joey diaz no no this is like a white guy he said he would go down to he would actually go down to
01:55:41.720
south america and get the buy the cocaine up there then bring it up here and sell and he was
01:55:45.100
like had like you've definitely seen this guy no no but like this guy was like he but he had another
01:55:50.760
guy like a black dude that said he was doing like three million dollars a day worth of uh product uh
0.93
01:55:57.120
and like he was like i would just keep he was like they were like did you have a stash house he was
01:56:01.620
like no just keep it in trunks of cars and we just put the money in the trunk of car you know i've
01:56:05.160
thought about this a lot actually um you know i i was very fortunate in that i found an industry that i
01:56:10.860
can make a good living at you know working hard and uh understanding small business and all that but
0.98
01:56:15.660
had i been born into a poor family i would have been a fucking drug kingpin like i thought about
0.95
01:56:21.100
this a lot because uh i sold i sold pot just when i was poor just like mildly poor when i was in
0.99
01:56:26.120
college i sold pot had i been poor poor had i been had i grown up in the hood i would have been
01:56:30.200
moving weight there's no doubt about it there's no punchline to this i'm just i'm just i know i wanted
0.96
01:56:35.860
that silence to hang out because i was like that's the fucking truth like let that there's no punchline
0.89
01:56:39.860
i would just i would have been moving weight that's all that's actually uh i think that that's a
0.91
01:56:45.180
great uh a great point here to just kind of take it did i mention that i'm running for the vice
01:56:49.420
presidency of the united states of america i'm running for president let's get the tower
01:56:53.380
ticket going baby oh my god guys love you guys uh enjoy talking it's been real it's been wednesday
0.86
01:56:59.320
yeah let's fucking uh it's been real and it's been fun but it hasn't really been real fun georgia if
0.97
01:57:03.660
you aren't fucking frauds if you actually love it nobody's coming nobody's coming see you later
1.00
01:57:08.780
watch me get pissed drunk not until the dildo probably say that
1.00
01:57:11.980
hello everybody a question for toad first time you have sex do you think she's going to ask you
0.99
01:57:19.300
to stand up to have sex or lay down okay so we got all the legal stuff everybody understands this
01:57:25.540
but look we have to go through this all previous apologies disclaimers legal notices not in conflict
01:57:31.780
with this episode shall remain in full force and effect and last week last week we had a lot a lot
01:57:37.380
of them i didn't even take uh take a roll this time on them okay uh we do have some corrections
01:57:43.140
here on tower gang uh tower gang inc we strive to be correct and up front on all of our mistakes
01:57:47.940
so just think of this as the next show's premiere okay we have it on good authority that those brown
0.98
01:57:55.620
stains on clint's mugs aren't from kratom there you go that's uh that's the reason why we have that
01:58:02.340
uh we had a claim by cole cole stated that it all goes back to rome rome was the one that defeated the
01:58:08.340
barbary pirates and in the mediterranean back in the day and they controlled trade and before it was
0.99
01:58:13.140
the phoenicians and they controlled the trade and became very rich jose then asked if cole was reading
01:58:18.260
wikipedia we'll fact check this one actually cole just was thinking of the pirates of the caribbean on a
01:58:23.460
disneyland ride the more you know he was just a little confused on that we also had another claim
0.73
01:58:27.300
by toad he said on the last episode toad claimed he impressed the fuck out of gavin in fact he did
0.97
01:58:33.940
not impress the fuck out of gavin gavin impressed the out of top lobster that's when he showed his
0.99
01:58:38.980
cock and top lobster did in fact love that one another claim owen himself stated that you meet a black
0.99
01:58:45.380
guy you like him because he plays lacrosse he plays chess fact check on that it's unsubstantiated
01:58:50.980
no black guys play lacrosse and i think owen meant checkers not chess okay we do a live pre-show
01:58:57.780
in the chat we're recording it we're posting it out on the members only so go to local subscribe
01:59:02.500
there we also have a live chat for those we're trying to figure out that a little out a little
01:59:06.580
better you saw the um the itinerary coming up the tower gang is opening for adam nutter that will be
01:59:12.020
interesting i don't know if you could still get your tickets but go see the guys down there
01:59:15.380
uh they were also on slightly offensive good ratings good show 28 and a half or 28.1
01:59:21.940
thousand uh views it's pretty good toad did uh spaces with the libertarian christian caucus uh it
01:59:29.940
was a little out of depth but make sure you check him out um on his better off dead podcast it will
01:59:36.980
be interesting to see how he does in the playoffs here someone invite cole on as a as a guest on his
01:59:41.780
show he hasn't been on anybody's show he's a funny guy uh tyler why don't you invite him on yours
01:59:47.620
uh nephilim death squad they're still number three overall almost 200 000 views when they went on
01:59:54.020
with um uh the best political show so they're still killing it up there and you saw david of
01:59:58.740
course tonight jose wasn't here tonight he's doing with his hairless cats uh remember liberty
02:00:03.860
lockdown he's got the best political show some really good shows coming up here about klaus he's still
02:00:08.900
working the the libertarian angle even after the the owen benjamin's thing top lobster.com
02:00:14.100
merch engine.com go further that i'm getting steve poiken in on uh friday so check out my show
02:00:19.700
also a liberty pill kill podcast on february 2nd and we will find out next week what is sorry to
02:00:26.420
interrupt you tyler daniel sap daniel sap uh message me you won the t-shirt you got you won the game
02:00:34.500
you won the t-shirt there you go for today congratulations all right and that's all
02:00:39.860
that's all we have thanks for top lobster for joining in there uh really killing the vibe
02:00:44.180
but i i appreciate it like nothing else see you guys next week it's the tower power hour slut
0.96
02:00:48.660
to the tower power hour bitch no way jose liberty lock down to the tower power
1.00
02:00:58.340
cole top lobster and toad tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang
0.97
02:01:04.980
tower gang tower gang tower gang liberty lock is truth say same with lobster cole and jose
02:01:10.500
he just made dude nonsense no way jose either youcos the tower power power hour sl they made
02:01:15.060
day spit all his time tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang
02:01:20.980
tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang they speak courage you sped
02:01:25.780
fed more than rogan you fed you fed truth bomb weather tim cast hotel hotel more offensive
02:01:30.100
lof no disrespect more offensive than l-o-s no disrespect more offensive than lof no disrespect
02:01:34.180
tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang
0.94
02:01:36.180
It's so fucking hard to line up the syllables and all of it.
0.93