Ep 163 - Codename Toad
Episode Stats
Length
1 hour and 58 minutes
Words per Minute
211.92433
Hate Speech Sentences
205
Summary
Clint Russell and his co-host Fat Dave are joined by special guest Jose Rodriguez to discuss anti-Semitism, autism, and the perils of being racist in your 20's and 30's. It's a good one.
Transcript
00:00:39.360
Everything we say in here is in the Talmud, basically.
00:00:51.580
In between milking cats, I was reading anti-Semitic content.
00:01:00.000
I think our chat is funnier than us, because I wasn't even paying attention.
00:01:17.040
Sacrifice to buy some time on the hands of the cinema.
00:01:30.940
Yeah, the one where he holds up his fucking dad's cabinet now.
00:01:32.980
I literally just watched the head, and then I was like, I lost interest.
00:01:40.800
In the first four seconds, he picks up his dad's head that's in saran wrap.
00:01:55.060
He then just shows it to you, and he goes, my dad was a federal agent for 30 years.
00:02:02.380
Jose goes, I've seen enough, no longer interested, shuts it off.
00:02:36.200
So I can only fit a third of my dick into Toad's mussy?
00:02:41.200
You want to kill me, or you want to give me a bone?
00:02:50.520
Have you guys ever had the mythical where there's a whole thing in, and then do that shit where they're like,
00:03:27.260
Come, ladies and gentlemen, to the most dangerous and retarded program on the internet.
00:03:39.840
You are watching Tower Gang because it's 9-11 p.m. on a Wednesday.
00:03:43.240
And that's when we get racist and retarded with y'all.
00:03:52.860
I've been really trying my best to be as racist as possible.
00:03:56.160
And the benefits that I'm receiving from it, Clint, I mean, there's really no arguing.
00:04:01.620
I mean, in fairness, I haven't noticed any increase in your racism over the past week.
00:04:08.140
The funny thing is, I've taken a different route and done vigorous research, and now I'm becoming anti-Semitic as opposed to an inflexive thing like you.
00:04:17.060
You were like, guys, I've been researching some stuff, and God, it's all starting to point up to certain people.
00:04:31.620
If you actually – it's kind of a weird thing because, like, sometimes you go, like, hey, per capita – like, if we're just going just on –
00:04:43.700
It perfectly correlates to the evil per capita as well.
00:04:47.340
If you looked at, like, Top's just, like, bank account of racism, he has a lot more racism in his bank account than Jose does.
00:04:53.120
But Jose's racism is going up at a more rapid pace than Top's is.
00:05:04.920
Yeah, you're slowly – yeah, you're over time.
00:05:07.400
Yeah, and, like, it's more quality because of it.
00:05:16.900
I prefer Top's brand of racism because he just innately, like, knows that these people are evil.
00:05:23.660
Whereas Jose actually has to, like, be, like, one of the autistic libertarians and actually, like, do the research and look it up.
00:05:32.300
Wait, so you're telling me 50% of that one point were part of this weird satanic sect that the whole thing was about infiltrating in different religions and groups?
00:05:42.360
There's no way that has any implications in today's world, right?
00:05:46.220
Only 13% of that population is doing 50% of the global subversions.
00:05:53.420
50% actually seems kind of low, like, if you're thinking –
00:05:56.520
I mean, to be fair, those are the Jewish numbers they gave you.
00:05:59.860
Literally, like, you go to Jewish sources and you're like, whoa, this is what you're saying?
00:06:08.320
There has to be a constant – there has to be some constant value that they multiply.
00:06:20.820
There has to be some constant value they're multiplying every number by, and it either goes up or down to get to where, like, the Jew number.
00:06:28.440
It's called Zabalone and money magic is what you're getting at, I think?
00:06:31.920
Well, because it's like six million, that's way too high, but, like, 50% of subversions, that's way too low.
00:06:37.000
They're multiplying something by the same number to get those numbers that they're giving us.
00:06:43.160
You know that Mickey – you remember that Mickey animated thing where, like, he's on the famous, like, Fantasia thing where he's the wizard?
00:06:55.960
It was genius in my head, and I was going to connect to something else and make a pun, and then I forgot the pun as I was delivering it.
00:07:03.360
Now Cole is just a wizard from Fantasia with no pun.
00:07:06.400
I will – later I'll tell you the scheme of the joke, and then I realized now it makes no fucking sense.
00:07:15.160
Jose, you're way too high, and Cole, I saw you with a bottle of whiskey before we started the show.
00:07:24.720
I was honestly trying to pay attention to what they were talking about that whole time, and I was like, I don't – this doesn't make any sense.
00:07:29.340
I saw your eyes light up when I said Babylonian money magic.
00:07:35.300
Top, did you ever watch that thing I sent you today?
00:07:40.480
It was the kid's show about Lilith and about the devil.
00:07:48.200
I was getting – I was making a pun off of Babylonian money magic and how he's the retard wizard like that Mickey – like Mickey in that.
00:07:56.480
This is a total toad joke when I think about it.
00:08:00.380
Yeah, I was playing off Babylonian money magic, which is an anti-Semitic trope.
00:08:04.160
I don't want to cut you off on this metaphor that's not very funny, but I'm going to do it just for the sake of the show and our audience.
00:08:10.000
I think we should just mute Jose because he's like in this sage mode of whatever, and I just don't like it.
00:08:17.880
It's rule of five, and Dave Smith is coming on soon.
00:08:22.080
For the team, I will sit out because we do have Dave Smith here soon.
00:08:27.580
It's important that we get into the show at some point.
00:08:33.560
We got the curator of the finest wares in all the lands, the wizard of cloth, Mr. Top Lobster.
00:08:40.180
We've got Cole, who is the host of working and benching and pressing and lifting and squatting and just generally attracting the homosexual audience.
00:08:53.100
We've got Jose, who's the host of Two and a Half Jose's.
00:08:56.640
He's absolutely fantastic at deep diving and making me feel like I'm schizophrenic.
00:09:01.600
And then we've got the host of Two and a Half Deads, and that is Mr. Toad.
00:09:19.180
Is there a way that we could bring up the cock?
00:09:27.880
We don't bring it on screen, but we can see it down at the bottom.
00:09:38.280
I think we're allowed to, because the picture I'm seeing, it's actually – he's clothed, but you can see his bulge.
00:09:48.980
If we have one where he's wearing underwear and just kind of grabbing it so you can kind of purposely see the indent.
00:09:54.780
If you do give me the picture, I will describe it.
00:09:57.640
Toad, in your Excel spreadsheet, just write down bring up the cock as one of the episode submissions.
00:10:03.420
I just want to get that in there before we keep talking about –
00:10:06.520
Just open up X, type in Drake into the search bar, go to media, and you'll see it immediately.
00:10:19.180
He's grabbing his dick by the base of his cock, and he's swinging it like a helicopter,
00:10:23.960
but the thing is so long that as he swings it –
00:10:28.920
Yo, motherfucker floats off the bed like a helicopter.
00:10:57.440
I feel like Toad is the type of nigga to not know who Drake is.
00:11:14.180
It's a full video, and I want to point this out there.
00:11:28.640
It looks like he already got done jerking off or having sex is what it looks like.
00:11:34.000
He's got one of those dicks that never gets hard.
00:11:38.840
You know how many bitches he probably fucked that he probably can't even get hard anymore
00:12:00.880
Top of the group is all evidence when it comes to rappers.
00:12:03.760
By the way, Dave Smith will be here any minute.
00:12:10.340
We're going to keep vamping until Dave Smith shows up.
00:12:14.580
There's no chance that he actually raped Millie Bobby Brown.
00:12:27.340
I wish we had an Aboriginal person to translate what you're saying.
00:12:42.740
Bro, your hand gap doesn't do it even close to –
00:12:47.860
No, listen, it actually – it's crazy because, like, he is rubbing it with his hands and it takes like a full – he goes like a full, like – it's a full stroke.
00:13:05.020
Literally, I looked up Drake and went to media.
00:13:06.860
Just like he said, you scroll down like three or four.
00:13:10.480
Dude, he's – it looks like he's like partially –
00:13:14.060
It's floppy, but it looks like he's almost jerking off almost.
00:13:16.360
This is – for men that are married, this put me in the same situation as when Chris Brown's dick was released and I'm like, did my fucking wife see this?
00:13:25.440
You know, I'm like, now I got to think – because then I seen it.
00:13:27.460
Chris Brown's dick is as big as his leg and now the whole thing with Drake, I'm like, this is uncomfortable.
00:13:35.780
It's funny because he's literally jerking off and then also kind of fucking rubbing – like, just kind of being a goofy goober, you know?
00:13:41.780
You know, the dead soft part that's, like, above his entire hand, that's bigger than my dick.
00:13:51.860
Drake got, like, mad money and he spends it all the time.
00:13:57.140
What if this is just a prank and, like, the most elaborate –
00:14:10.600
No, here's the thing, though, is I actually feel good because –
00:14:16.240
If I was super famous, I would just put out videos of my fake ginormous dick.
00:14:22.020
No, I actually feel good about my dick because if his dick really is just that floppy, like, it's just – like, that's how it gets hard.
00:14:34.160
Yeah, but you don't have a 25-inch limp dick, though.
00:14:43.120
I will admit, when I didn't see Dave immediately, I thought Top masturbated me into thinking he was coming onto the show.
00:14:56.900
I was trying to work in a hard disc versus floppy disc joke, but that would have sucked, so I didn't do it.
00:15:03.980
Well, thanks for telling us about the jokes that you left on the cutting room floor.
00:15:06.100
I would have gotten it, Toad, and I would have given you a –
00:15:09.460
Write that down in, like, a little notebook, and then after the show, throw it out.
00:15:14.940
Every time you had an idea, that you're like, that's not going to be good.
00:15:17.860
I thought you were going to go positive with it, be like, workshop it, build it, you know, use it later.
00:15:23.860
Write it down on paper and light the paper on fire.
00:15:25.640
Legitimately, do you think that's his erect penis?
00:15:29.340
No, I think his dick gets hard, and it's bigger than the fucking Eiffel Tower.
00:15:35.840
It's actually – it really – the way it moves –
00:15:41.500
It just doesn't have the dick quality about it.
00:15:51.480
I mean, like, I was watching porn at, like, 12.
00:15:54.220
Like, fucking – like, I've seen a lot of cock.
00:15:59.200
It does not, like, match up with my concept of cock.
00:16:01.660
You ever seen a video of a silicone penis getting, like, thrown at a wall?
00:16:07.040
Yeah, that's why I laughed at first, because it was moving so goofy.
00:16:12.180
And then I look at it again, and I go, something's off.
00:16:20.200
Like, he's like, these niggas don't believe this.
00:16:26.000
Look, I don't want it to be real either, but it is.
00:16:28.120
What do you think Kanye's dick is better than Drake's dick?
00:16:34.280
I feel like Kanye is a little dick, to be honest.
00:16:38.180
And Chris Brown's has got to be big, because it did that amount of damage to Rihanna.
00:16:45.440
I never watched the Ray J video, so it was Ray J.
00:16:50.060
Yeah, he's like the kind of dick that where, like, it makes the porn whack,
00:16:55.060
And he's like, kind of can only half-stroke it, you know?
00:17:06.600
Why would you know his last name, you absolute fucking pervert?
00:17:09.820
I think I remember that he was, like, Brandy's brother or something like that.
00:17:18.480
If there was such a thing as a black cowboy, I feel like this would be the lasso.
00:17:26.840
You guys really think it's floppy like a piece of rope?
00:17:49.840
Or are we just going to sit here and sit here and sit here?
00:17:53.540
Did you see how well we were – like, we were vibing.
00:17:55.820
And he comes in here with a Blazing Saddle joke and just killed the whole float.
00:18:02.620
He killed the whole float so that Jose had to go to mailbag to save face.
00:18:11.660
Let's move on to mailbag and not, like, keep dragging this on.
00:18:21.300
Dude, I heard a – yeah, Jacob Hornberger is in his house right now.
00:18:29.580
I do love the idea of getting new soundbites thrown at you and not knowing because you do have that moment of having to figure it out because it took me a moment of, like, what am I experiencing right now?
00:18:42.980
You can put that one everywhere and I will never get it.
00:18:44.660
In the group chat this week, I was critiquing Toad because, like, retarded people are fun, right?
00:19:00.780
But then, like, Toad is obviously retarded too, but he's just, like, he's none of that.
00:19:14.240
So, in reference to my poll, I said, like, who would you rather live around?
00:19:18.460
And then I said blacks, Indian featherheads, or Downs people.
00:19:22.720
And let me tell you, 10,000 people voted for Downs people.
00:19:31.040
But you were thinking about Downs retarded people and how dope they are because of that poll, right?
00:19:43.500
Have you ever, like, had that talk with your wife of, like, what we would do if, like, we had a Downs kid?
00:19:51.780
I have a homie I fucking chill with for life now.
00:19:58.740
And in the back of my mind, I was like, it would be me that gets a retarded baby.
00:20:04.200
Cole, you and your Downs syndrome – that's a sitcom right there.
00:20:08.660
Dude, even without any sort of chromosomal issues, you're still going to have a fucking really retarded kid.
00:20:12.800
Can you imagine, like, 50-year-old Cole with his, like, adult Downs syndrome son that still has to live with him?
00:20:17.900
Just – it would be, like, the coolest fucking sitcom ever.
00:20:24.180
What's going to be really sad is when Aiden grows up, right, and he's, like, way smarter than you and Liz, just by default.
00:20:32.440
He has, like, average IQ, but he's, like, that much smarter than you in the household.
00:20:36.200
It will be, like, when two midget parents have, like, a regular-sized baby.
00:20:42.540
Yeah, like, like, like, like, you know, and you're, like –
00:20:47.620
Like, they had the one kid that was, like, actually normal, and he's, like, walking around.
00:20:53.520
They're just like, can you get that shit on the big – on the top shelf?
00:20:59.040
Cole's son has already surpassed him in reading level.
00:21:07.860
And I'm afraid and might be into chicks now, BRB, going to check.
00:21:11.340
Oh, well, we just turned Josie gay by seeing Drake's cock.
00:21:20.420
I can't understand why you want it to be real so bad, Clint.
00:21:28.960
I can't live in a room because they have huge cocks.
00:21:43.660
AOCD is – I don't even know if we can talk about this, to be honest.
00:21:47.160
Should we save the mailbag until Dave gets here?
00:21:50.020
Loved my new job until they hired a woman to be my new manager.
00:21:55.640
Women managers suck and honestly make me more misogynistic.
00:22:00.280
Have you guys ever had a terrible boss or manager?
00:22:07.100
Even if you're worried about doxing yourself, just be vague.
00:22:14.880
Now that I think about it, I don't think I've ever had like a direct boss that was like a chick.
00:22:21.580
What kind of fucking careers are you in with women, you fucking faggots?
00:22:27.860
I've never had a female manager because, I mean, I'm in software, so everybody's a dude.
00:22:31.960
But my worst manager by far was at my first job.
00:22:34.540
He was a street shitter and he reeked of cigarette smoke.
00:22:38.020
He was constantly just like hawking off like smoke loogies like onto his desk and whatever.
00:22:55.700
He was hawking up that shit all over the place.
00:23:03.660
And after I had had a stroke in the office at that company, a couple years later, he had a stroke.
00:23:14.760
He also did like shortly – like a few years after that when –
00:23:23.180
Yo, what if he fucking had a stroke in the debate?
00:23:31.100
No, I can imagine him just standing there how he usually stands.
00:23:34.640
And then just like he starts standing normal and they're like, you okay?
00:23:37.720
The way he normally stands kind of looks like someone about to stroke out if you think about it.
00:23:42.800
Like it's like my left – my right arm doesn't move.
00:23:56.480
Like you tell things and you're just like, if I'm just crude, this will be funny.
00:23:59.720
But it's like you totally skimmed over one detail.
00:24:04.320
The fact that you fucking stroked out of the office.
00:24:06.640
And now you'll fumble the ball here because you're telling this joke.
00:24:21.120
I think it probably had to do with like the stress from the job.
00:24:23.720
Actually, three different people had strokes in this office.
00:24:29.540
Well, one of the guys had a brain tumor and died.
00:24:31.740
And then the other one was the street shitter guy that I just talked about.
00:24:36.120
Were they doing experimental testing at your work?
00:24:41.020
It actually would be really funny if Toad is an MKUltra.
00:24:48.780
He's like, we were bottling formaldehyde and all these people just start dropping dead.
00:24:53.560
They fucking programmed them for the ones they domed in the back of the head because they didn't work.
00:24:58.940
Let me tell you how bad Toad's fucking like idea of technology is.
00:25:05.220
He has that mic that accepts the XLR and the USB.
00:25:13.260
Dude, I bet you after these episodes, all he does is rotate the chair around and just sit there.
00:25:28.160
So I didn't know what was going on because a few months prior to this.
00:25:34.140
Imagine your 26-year-old co-worker sitting at death stroking out.
00:25:44.360
The two other individuals at your work, how old were they?
00:25:57.700
Explain to us why that's impossible to have a stroke at 26.
00:26:04.500
Isn't it literally like the problem is like a blood clot goes up to your brain and then
00:26:08.820
it gets caught and then like you have a stroke because you're like.
00:26:26.260
Like the human body is not supposed to be stroking out at 26, especially like it makes
00:26:32.700
zero sense for me that like to look at Toad and be like, yeah, 18 or how many years, 13
00:26:38.380
years ago, your body was like, it's time to give up.
00:26:51.640
By chance, by chance, was your first job at Three Mile Island?
00:27:18.340
Just the fact that his employer had the word health in it and everyone working there is
00:27:34.520
He shows up to an office and it's an MKUltra project every day.
00:27:38.080
And they tell him like, yeah, you're a software engineer.
00:27:48.220
It's in like in a metropolitan, like one of the biggest metropolitan areas in the U.S.
00:27:53.100
This was outside of the city, but what happened was I didn't really notice.
00:27:57.080
So, well, just to give you the, like, try to give you the backstory a little bit.
00:28:00.700
A few months before the stroke happened, I went to the, I was like totally morbidly obese.
00:28:10.760
JC said, Toad actually slayed pussy, but all his memories were rewritten in the MKUltra experiment.
00:28:26.320
I was going to say, because I was going to say if my wife said she lost her memory, but
00:28:29.980
she wouldn't have fucked another guy, but she lost her memory.
00:28:32.040
It's not like that wipes away, like, you fucking other guys.
00:28:35.220
And that totally makes sense, because for like what matters with the dudes is like because
00:28:39.220
they love you, like they have committed to you, whatever, or they waited, whatever the
00:28:44.600
For chicks, it's more of like, yeah, well, I don't want other dudes who have
00:28:51.540
I don't think it's more about, it's not really about the nutting.
00:28:53.660
It's about the stretching or even like, I don't necessarily buy that.
00:28:59.020
Unless you have a Drake cock, I'm really not that concerned about that.
00:29:02.240
A few months before this had happened, I went to the doctor for the first time in seven
00:29:07.400
I wouldn't be upset about the way he stretched my wife's pussy this way.
00:29:11.680
I would be upset about that, but not about this way.
00:29:14.180
I don't think you can stretch a pussy lengthwise.
00:29:36.560
It's just the tongue, the tongue in the mouth is so fucking funny.
00:29:46.960
All right, I just can't imagine pushing a woman's organs so far back that you're just
00:29:52.920
like, it's like, you can reorient a bitch's insides.
00:29:59.280
Clint's like, I've rearranged every bitch's insides that I've been with and I left them
00:30:09.100
Why would you not be more upset about the fucking, the girth on your woman's badge after fucking
00:30:16.300
You're never going to even know that it got deeper.
00:30:18.580
If anything, I don't, if anything, when you hit the bottom, that's an inconvenience.
00:30:22.380
Like when you're hitting the cervix, cause like, that's what that, what's stopping you
00:30:27.460
And that's when the bitch starts like complaining, like, ugh, it hurts.
00:30:32.220
He says, yeah, if anything, I want that thing all the way back and tighten it, suck, tighten
00:30:36.740
You're shoving the cervix, yeah, all the way back, like into her throat.
00:30:39.620
Is that a problem for you, Clint, when you're having sex?
00:30:43.680
I've had that problem and my dick ain't big at all.
00:30:57.680
This one girl, this one girl, how deep, how deep, how deep, how deep is the abyss?
00:31:09.220
Thinking about it now, all the girls that you've been with and you have like the deepest, I
00:31:15.200
mean, you had the deepest and then you have the, like the shallowest.
00:31:18.900
If you could rate them, give them a numerical number, would you?
00:31:24.820
Are you saying a numerical number on how deep they are or a numerical number just on the
00:31:29.300
Because he fucked a bunch of girls probably, right?
00:31:36.880
What I'm saying is you've run into, you've run into girls with deep cervixes and then
00:31:41.460
you've run into girls with shallow cervixes and in your Rolodex of your brain, if you
00:31:46.260
had to like put them by number order, one through 10 being the deepest, one being the
00:31:51.300
And now we're just going to speed run, throw names at you and you just got a first number
00:31:55.480
No, I wouldn't, I wouldn't be able to remember.
00:31:58.520
I mean, some, some of them, some of them, yeah.
00:32:00.600
Like the really dramatically shallow one, like that one immediately springs to mind.
00:32:05.200
You know, I'm not going to say the fucking name.
00:32:09.600
This is why I can't like fuck a bunch of chicks because I'd have to have like a spreadsheet
00:32:13.940
of how deep each one of their cervixes is and I'd have to keep track of it.
00:32:23.620
Toad's like, oh, I found another cavernous vagina.
00:32:27.980
I went, I went, I went spelunking in this, this fine last last night.
00:32:31.720
It's like a bend to it that's going to like, could kind of like up a little bit.
00:32:34.400
Could Toad bottom out the girl with the ridiculously shallow vagina?
00:32:38.420
There's only one I've ever been with that I think Toad could probably bottom out.
00:32:43.840
Wait, did you really like get like half your penis in and like it was like.
00:32:54.040
Were you hitting the cervix or was this like a virgin or some shit?
00:33:02.040
I was going to make a joke that he's just been fucking a bunch of young bitches, like
00:33:06.180
When I was in high school, when I was in high school, I had a girlfriend that was a virgin.
00:33:16.040
Cole, I was talking first, but I was just saying, yeah, when I was in high school, I
00:33:19.900
did fuck a virgin or tried to like multiple times, my girlfriend.
00:33:23.740
And yeah, it was literally like you'd get like here and that'd be like it.
00:33:28.340
It was like just the fact that she'd never had a dick before.
00:33:30.920
So yeah, don't get so pleased with yourself, Clint.
00:33:42.040
Just like guys have their balls drop, girls need to have their cervix deepened.
00:33:45.740
That's what it needs to happen when they turn into a woman.
00:33:50.060
Their cervix does accommodate the penis if they've been with them long enough.
00:33:55.160
That was a great moment to bring up that Cole video again because I don't know what.
00:34:06.980
Yeah, Cole like cinches off his dick like mid-piss or something.
00:34:11.220
Popping his balls in his body like this is like weird.
00:34:21.700
Did you feel anything coming on when you stroked the fuck out?
00:34:24.540
Yeah, so I have to explain that a few months before that when I had gone to the doctor
00:34:28.780
for the first time in like seven years, they took my blood pressure and it was 190 over
00:34:37.320
You know that Simpsons episode where they send their kids off to the Flanders and they
00:34:41.140
pull out and they turn and they just go right into the next driveway and it makes it seem
00:34:44.920
like it's going to be this long trip, but it takes two seconds.
00:34:48.280
They put me in the back of an ambulance just to drive me to like halfway down the building.
00:34:54.700
This is part of the story that's totally superfluous.
00:34:56.800
Yeah, how do you have no idea of like what is funny information and what is not?
00:35:02.040
Like what is like just discard that, skim over this in the story.
00:35:05.200
Oh, here, let's highlight this little piece because this has clearly got all the elements
00:35:09.220
because Clint did ask him how did like what was it feeling like coming a stroke coming
00:35:15.700
on to you and he goes like the fucking hospital ride, dude, it was like almost like a clown
00:35:25.340
I had massively high blood pressure, which had been causing like horrific headaches for
00:35:34.340
Because I'm not going to let him cook on these fronts because he's setting up some kind
00:35:38.700
We're asking what kind of what kind of a lunatic has headaches for three years straight and
00:35:49.800
I woke up with them every Saturday and I wasn't drinking at all back then either.
00:35:53.660
Yeah, I would just wake up consistently every Saturday and just be like vomiting.
00:36:01.080
I swear to God, this guy is a fucking like toad.
00:36:04.680
How come this show is not bigger if you're fucking in the government?
00:36:11.560
I think they got a little too cocksure with Toad.
00:36:14.100
And they're like, oh, we'll make him a Manchurian candidate for power game.
00:36:32.460
All my other personalities are breaking through.
00:36:49.300
Tyler, do we have the means to replay this on the show?
00:36:55.200
It would be really meta, but watch that little bit and see if he said that.
00:37:16.520
It wasn't like any of the typical stroke symptoms.
00:37:19.400
It was as if I was staring through my monitor almost.
00:37:27.980
It was like I was seeing letters that were duplicated on my screen.
00:37:36.920
If I look at text right now and you have a repeated letter a bunch of times in a row,
00:37:41.700
Do you think the redundant, uninteresting information is to divert away from this clear MK ultra compromise?
00:37:46.220
This has to be, they're like, when caught, just give them random bullshit.
00:37:51.400
I thought I was just like, I thought I was lightheaded or something.
00:37:54.580
So I told a couple of my coworkers what was going on.
00:37:58.520
They were like, let's get some food or whatever.
00:38:01.520
And then when we did that, I totally collapsed in a parking lot because I also had a grand mal seizure.
00:38:06.380
At which point, according to, I don't remember this.
00:38:21.400
One of my co-workers, by the way, had already had testicular cancer.
00:38:32.320
Now he only has like a half of his stomach cancer.
00:38:46.880
Then when I had the seizure, the ambulance came.
00:38:52.780
I don't remember this at all, but I had like superhuman strength.
00:38:55.580
And I was fighting off of three minutes simultaneously.
00:39:03.100
Yeah, then I wound up in the ER and they gave me.
00:39:12.240
Tote, just give us two seconds to cope with what you're doing.
00:39:15.920
Yo, he dropped the fact that his co-worker had stomach cancer.
00:39:22.140
He's got like five co-workers that are all fucked up from this job.
00:39:25.520
If he's telling the truth, we are uncovering an amazing conspiracy.
00:39:28.740
If he's lying, he's a fucking op that infiltrate us.
00:39:32.780
I want to keep him as a co-host, even if that's the case.
00:39:35.980
This is the first time he's ever told a story without pausing and being coherent because
00:39:45.380
But this show is not bigger if you're fucking in the government.
00:39:53.240
I think they got a little too cocksure with Tote.
00:40:48.000
I didn't get to the part of the story, though, where...
00:40:58.740
Imagine Tote wearing one of those small Matrix glasses.
00:41:04.100
Alright, you don't have to reveal everything on the show.
00:41:06.780
Tote, but you at least have to tell us privately.
00:41:10.200
They put me in an MRI after this, and they left me in the MRI for like an hour.
00:41:14.540
I was just in there, and they had left the room.
00:41:19.860
Dude, it was getting so claustrophobic in there.
00:41:24.500
You mean like the thing in an MRI, the whole point?
00:41:28.660
Yeah, so I'm just stuck, you know, just not able to move at all.
00:41:41.080
Because I think you do have a high IQ, and so they found you at college.
00:41:51.000
So it's just like, you know, Toad does have an IQ, a high IQ.
00:41:54.380
And so at college, they find him in the computer science.
00:41:57.300
And he totally has all the vibes of like a sexual abuse victim, like MKUltra.
00:42:01.480
And Langley comes in and they go, hey, what we're going to do is we're going to put you
00:42:24.580
Toad, you're more of a fed than Malay is, okay?
00:42:34.920
I think they got a little too cocksure with Toad.
00:42:41.920
I'm like, what the fuck did you just say to me?
00:42:47.840
His handlers have a fucking chat on the corner of his TV.
00:42:59.020
He was supposed to type, I can't reveal the truth.
00:43:06.620
He's like, he's going like, he's like, cover blown, cover blown, cover blown.
00:43:13.440
Guys, I think my internet is going out and just like all of a sudden he like leaves.
00:43:21.620
What do you and this guy, do you and this guy work in the same fucking office?
00:44:04.320
We've got to figure out a different thing with the money situation.
00:44:08.160
One thing I can mention, by the way, is I had another grand mal seizure three years later,
00:44:13.360
I'm never telling him any sensitive info ever again, especially anything I'm looking into.
00:44:18.460
We've already told him so much shit about ourselves.
00:44:24.120
He knows we'd get hyped about it, though, if he didn't.
00:44:43.560
I know there's a lot of stuff going on right now.
00:44:49.200
Like 1030 right after Fed, after Fed, after Toad.
00:45:03.620
And it's so weird that I, like, it makes you want me to...
00:45:08.140
Toad's like, I don't work directly with any actual agency.
00:45:17.180
It's like, all right, listen, you hired 100 normal people.
00:45:27.520
We need to have a dude who looks like a fucking autistic libertarian.
00:45:38.100
So much stuff is actually, like, really starting to piece together now.
00:45:48.880
This is the most mysterious thing that's ever happened.
00:45:57.440
Like, he talks all the time about how he hates it there.
00:46:10.020
I think maybe this could be a thing where he got into a bad gambling habit.
00:46:23.620
Like, maybe he's, like, doing it on the side or something.
00:46:24.960
Yeah, he's way into the gambling story for it to not to be made up.
00:46:43.040
If you're a Fed, if you're a Fed, then just kidnap the governor of Massachusetts.
00:46:51.580
Hey, just pick up a pressure cooker from Home Depot.
00:47:05.160
You fell in love with us somewhere along the way.
00:47:06.260
You fell in love with us along the way, didn't you?
00:47:09.820
Yeah, you're the FBI agent that fell in love with us based off our memes.
00:47:17.000
So they thought they were just like, okay, we'll just...
00:47:22.660
We're so down for this to be like a work scam for you in the CIA.
00:47:25.840
Where you're like, yeah, I'm really infiltrating, but I'm just chilling with my boys.
00:47:32.780
All you have to do is take those CIA checks, funnel it into marketing this show.
00:47:37.280
Let's become big enough that you can actually get out of this fucking racket.
00:47:51.420
You can stop stuttering and mumbling because you're so afraid of telling the truth.
00:48:04.580
And, like, I'm obviously in, like, a signal chat so the feds can't find it.
00:48:09.260
He does get very mad when we do a show without him.
00:48:15.940
I'm the Fed and I'm supposed to, like, entrap you, but I fall in love with all of you instead.
00:48:20.420
The question at hand was, any bosses that were shitty?
00:48:25.140
To the boss question after your whole paradigm's been shifted.
00:48:30.100
So, it's like, my boss, the president, really sucks right now.
00:48:48.340
Or, like, is it really close to, like, what's going on?
00:49:11.280
Toad is Lord Miles and Tower Gang is the Taliban.
00:49:16.600
She would always, like, bring me into the room just to compliment me on how good I was doing
00:49:20.360
in terms of sales because I was, like, one of the rookie salesmen and I was beating
00:49:25.140
And I thought that we were going to have an affair for a time.
00:49:38.340
I thought this was going to be, like, horrible bosses where the one boss was just...
00:49:42.440
Jennifer Anderson trying to fuck him all the time.
00:49:45.400
I hate to stop what you're doing here, but this is actually the comment that I was looking
00:50:07.500
Abrogate authoritarians actually said this way earlier.
00:50:23.440
I said, God damn, I need to listen to this tomorrow as soon as possible.
00:50:26.600
Damn, I feel bad because I definitely saw that.
00:50:32.640
This is like internet breaking possibilities here.
00:50:36.740
If we can get him to admit to being a Fed, of course.
00:50:44.040
The juxtaposition of Toad being a Fed and me doing this giveaway where you give me your address.
00:50:51.880
And now we have all this merch of this fucking Fed and all those serious stories going around.
00:50:56.240
And this is the shit that they're using for their art.
00:51:06.360
Toad definitely filmed me having a threesome, didn't he?
00:51:21.900
And we just admitted it because we thought it was funny.
00:51:24.800
But he knew he'd get kicked off the show if he didn't tell the funny story.
00:51:28.640
So he went ahead and he gave up on the compromise.
00:51:34.240
Tom Cole didn't even realize it, but he called his bluff.
00:51:44.180
Whoever won, you're going to have to hit me up.
00:51:46.900
Dude, you guys were shitting on that name last week.
00:51:56.140
Play back the tape now that we have this technology.
00:51:58.360
I'm going to start incorporating that into our shit.
00:52:04.100
The fleek of the week, just for those that are new or don't understand what we're doing here.
00:52:07.540
Fleek of the week means this shirt is limited time.
00:52:25.580
Next week's week of the week is going to be crazy.
00:52:28.080
I'm going to actually give it away to somebody in the Rumble chat next week.
00:52:31.520
It's going to be funny because it's going to be everybody waiting to say they're late.
00:52:52.120
Because in retrospect, that really was him trying to implicate you.
00:53:04.800
Is it true that you woke up the next day and you watched an FBI agent breastfeed on the
00:53:16.700
Are you telling me that he jerked off in the corner while you fucked your wife and another
00:53:24.360
This is why last week somebody fucked up the tower.
00:53:44.500
He's like, I'm afraid it's going to happen again.
00:53:55.940
Like, is it because of you flip the script and now you're stuck here?
00:54:05.220
Do you have a wheelchair in like a wheelchair thing?
00:54:10.560
I could get one, but I don't want to be seen that way.
00:54:32.100
I went on short-term disability, but I was like, no, I'm going to continue to work as
00:54:41.120
No, that's what the doctor told him over and over and over and over and over again.
00:54:49.820
I started working almost right away, but I had to work from home for a long period of
00:54:53.320
Because when you have a seizure in Massachusetts.
00:55:08.440
We'll have to come up with a better acronym for that, but yes.
00:55:13.920
I don't even know what I was on disability for a while.
00:55:16.620
When you have a seizure, you can't drive for six months.
00:55:31.540
I actually have permanent brain damage, which can cause seizures at any time.
00:55:40.660
They might have implanted something in my brain.
00:55:45.540
A cover story for why I'd be having all these headaches and seizures and whatever.
00:55:49.560
I feel like he's dialing up the medical sympathy to...
00:55:56.580
We have Toad focused on Shane Gillis, which is why he can't miss that show.
00:56:10.840
For the audience's sake, they don't even understand this.
00:56:13.260
Toad goes to four to five stand-up shows per week.
00:56:46.920
That's what you respond with when presented X question.
00:56:51.940
Just like he saw the name Shane Gillis and he's like, I have to go to that.
00:57:14.820
This is all funny games and ha ha ha, but you're definitely fired from the show.
00:57:18.200
We didn't like him holding the money because he's like, he's him.
00:57:27.260
But now I don't want him holding the money because he's just a Fed.
00:57:30.260
And he's just like, you know, he just has our money.
00:57:32.440
All he has to do at this point is take our fucking penance that we've made from the show
00:57:36.860
and go and buy bombs with it and then have us be fucking...
00:57:42.220
Toad's probably steaming over Shane Gillis' Bud Light deal.
00:57:48.720
Oh, all of a sudden you have to fucking get clarity before you just knee-jerk fire off
00:57:57.980
You know what would have been really funny, Toad?
00:57:59.600
But honestly, the funny thing is, you could have done a great bit where you just go,
00:58:04.860
That would have been a fucking fire joke right there.
00:58:14.360
But this is why you don't put an FBI agent on your podcast.
00:58:21.360
If you're fucking in the government, like, have your neighbors do something.
00:58:27.240
I think they got a little too cocksure with Toad.
00:58:29.780
And they're like, oh, we'll make my Manchurian Candace a power game.
00:58:45.920
Dude, it's like he was like, guys, give it an hour and I'll come in for last 30.
00:58:55.080
Tag Dave and tell him why the fuck he's not here.
00:59:02.460
I'll send him the link if he actually responds.
00:59:06.920
I was making sure that y'all send him the link.
00:59:08.020
Literally, there's 130 people here and there's a hundred and how many fucking people in Rumble
00:59:21.220
If 300 of you tweeted Dave, he might actually come on the show.
00:59:24.980
No, he's going to say Toad has been live outed as a fed on Tower Gang.
00:59:33.440
He should come on and then the stream ends right when he comes on.
00:59:44.840
We've got to get Dave on now and go through this.
00:59:48.940
Why do I have a different persona on the show every single week?
00:59:54.400
You're doing it on purpose as far as I can tell.
00:59:56.900
Guys, guys, he's literally having introspection here.
01:00:27.200
Spiracy Extremis asks, how are we celebrating violent crime month, a.k.a. Black History Month?
01:00:34.980
That's what we're doing, how we're celebrating this month.
01:00:37.880
I have been watching a lot of racist clips on the line, mostly just Instagram just giving
01:00:44.820
That's not different than what you do every other day.
01:00:54.240
How are you celebrating violent crime month, a.k.a. Black History Month?
01:00:58.040
Intense anti-Semitic research and satanic research as well and yeaky stuff.
01:01:19.080
I go on a pilgrimage to the MLK statue that looks like a penis that's in Boston every day.
01:01:27.840
It's outside of Langley is actually where it's at.
01:01:34.300
He's probably got expensive Chinese food and he holds it like this.
01:01:37.320
And then he sits at his couch with his legs spread and his arm like this and he fucking
01:01:44.820
And his dick is just hanging there for anyone to see.
01:01:51.660
Do you guys remember when we first started the show?
01:01:53.060
I did have Chinese food tonight, which is so funny.
01:01:55.080
Do you remember around the time we started the show, we kind of joked but sort of seriously
01:02:07.660
Now your enemies are friends and your friends are enemies.
01:02:11.380
The only one that legitimately might not be a fed is Cole.
01:02:19.440
For me, I'm collecting everybody's addresses and shit.
01:02:24.520
Clint, for obvious reasons, he's got all this money.
01:02:27.020
Jose, for all the reasons we've been accusing him.
01:02:29.280
And now Toad with the very, very strong case for being a fed.
01:02:33.160
What if we're all feds and we don't know that each other is a fed?
01:02:39.900
Maybe the real feds are the friends we've made along the way.
01:02:43.920
I brought it up to my superiors and they said, no way.
01:02:47.640
I brought that up to my boss at Langley and he was like, he's like, no, no, that's not
01:03:10.640
Says, if you had to suck one dick for the Toad to get laid, would you do it?
01:03:29.140
If you had to suck one of our dicks, who would it be?
01:03:34.860
Now the question is, which of our dicks would you want to suck?
01:03:40.760
If you had to suck one dick, would you do it for Toad to get laid?
01:03:49.860
At this point, I wouldn't do anything for Toad to get laid.
01:03:52.160
I'm fine with him staying miserable at this point.
01:04:00.180
I just want him to come on the show every week and make us laugh.
01:04:02.460
I did think about sucking Toad's dick just to get Toad laid.
01:04:13.440
Just if someone said, like, if you had to get Toad laid and you had to suck one dick,
01:04:21.120
Would you make out with Toad as a totally funny prank?
01:04:31.200
Don't take a video of this for your fed friends.
01:04:33.260
I took offense to Raisin telling me that I don't have soft lips.
01:04:41.520
That was a banger motherfucking joke when he said,
01:04:59.260
I think he's just drinking just coffee all day.
01:05:01.980
And there's something about just hot coffee and caffeine and like no other water.
01:05:11.380
I've never seen you pick that up before in my life.
01:05:18.960
It's drinking out of a straw out of like something.
01:05:24.860
I've never seen you drink something on the show.
01:05:32.540
Toad, you need to go buy some fucking ChapStick.
01:05:44.980
You need to be like more hydrated and possibly eat like good food.
01:05:50.640
He ate Mexican food three times when we were...
01:06:04.680
No, I'm not going to blow anybody for fucking Toad to lose his virginity.
01:06:15.580
It's the best chance of you actually getting laid is if you suck a dick.
01:06:27.580
He won't put the least amount of effort into getting laid.
01:06:29.720
Like, he's had women who want to fuck him and he won't go to him.
01:06:43.640
You're the strangest FBI agent I've ever encountered.
01:06:48.860
It was going around Twitter like yesterday or two days ago of the guy with a trainee girlfriend.
01:06:54.000
And he was talking about how, like, he's like, it's still a girl.
01:07:06.640
So, we're all in agreement that talking behind Toad's back group chat becomes, like, the real
01:07:12.760
I mean, we pop into the other one occasionally just to make him, you know, kind of play along.
01:07:18.580
We plan all of our terroristic activities in the talking behind Toad's back chat from
01:07:25.100
What's going to really fuck us up is whenever there's another one in here that is a actual.
01:07:30.800
Did he say, now I'm going to have to do something about that?
01:07:44.780
And it's him furiously trying to rewind clip, then bring it up, like this whole bunch of
01:07:52.400
Go back in this episode that we have here going on.
01:07:58.740
Because as you were saying, as we were saying we're going to make a separate chat, he mumbled,
01:08:02.960
I'm going to have to do something about that then.
01:08:12.940
If you're caught on tape again, lying to us, you're off the fucking show.
01:08:23.240
We plan all of our terroristic activities in the talking behind Toad's back chat from now
01:08:35.380
I'm going to have to do something for that, about that.
01:08:45.840
He didn't say, I'm going to have to do something about that.
01:08:49.900
Do it again, I'm going to turn up the volume on my headphones.
01:08:53.420
Top and Jose, do you ever have an argument with your wife that happens all the time?
01:08:57.220
This is what it feels like when Toad keeps gaslighting us.
01:08:59.700
I wish I had playback, could do this with my wife.
01:09:03.340
You're one of the biggest lying pieces of shit on the planet.
01:09:09.340
We plan all of our terroristic activities in the talking behind Toad's back chat from
01:09:15.440
What's going to really fuck us up is whenever...
01:09:24.540
If anyone's got audio capabilities, I need you to like...
01:09:40.160
We're going to put it into the lab like fucking, you know, Tony Stark.
01:09:48.640
So I guess like we may be jumping on a little bit here.
01:09:51.360
We were talking about how I'm making a different group chat.
01:09:52.760
And if he said I may have to do something about that, I don't know.
01:09:55.640
Like, I guess that could just be a throwaway line of like, well, I'll have to...
01:10:02.740
Where's my Daniel Defense Rifles with the Neotech?
01:10:09.780
I need Daniel Defense Rifles with some green tips, okay?
01:10:14.900
Where's our shoulder-fired missiles, you bitch?
01:10:25.540
The other question is asking us to rate Drake's cock, which we kind of...
01:10:47.260
Legitimately, I don't think it could get in a vagina.
01:10:49.820
All I have to say about it is if his dick can get hard, it would be the most impressive
01:11:01.320
Because you know how it would go in and it would just bend and it actually wouldn't go
01:11:09.660
Oh, Josie said, prove you're not fed by getting us a killdozer.
01:11:14.280
Of course he would confirm that that's his dick.
01:11:33.200
We're like right at the epicenter of something so cool because we're in the comedy world
01:11:37.040
So we can capitalize this in so many different ways.
01:11:41.020
Let's talk about either the gay pool party or the 21 dudes in 10 days or the chili all
01:11:46.480
He told me in the pre-chat that he was going to be debating live at the LP National.
01:12:03.700
You're going to do the debate at LP National, but you wouldn't debate Robert F. Kennedy Jr.
01:12:13.300
He's like, do you know how close D.C. is to Langley, bitch?
01:12:29.520
I left my boyfriend, and I've been traveling for 10 days, and I've slept with 22 people
01:12:41.940
It's 1 p.m. now in Paris, and I need to check out because I'm going home.
01:12:46.280
I really doubt I'm going to get another one on the board, either on the plane or on my
01:12:53.000
layover, so I think 22 is where we're going to cut it out.
01:13:00.440
So she was doing two dudes a day, so she'd be like morning and night.
01:13:11.140
They're considered awesome in Australia, though, because their tits actually are inverted
01:13:28.300
And Australia is on the underside of that flatness.
01:13:45.580
I mean, although I can back it up with research, but I also joke.
01:13:49.180
He tweeted out today a tweet that was just like, fuck you, Jews.
01:13:57.300
Yo, he's trying to ask me about Israeli influence, and I'm like, yeah, Israeli influence is a huge
01:14:01.400
problem, but I don't like to focus on one because obviously there was a bioweapon that
01:14:07.220
And he's like, look, I don't want to fucking talk about China right now.
01:14:15.500
That whole episode you did where they were talking about the Chinese people, like military-age
01:14:20.300
I was just waiting for you to be like, okay, but how do the Jews play into this?
01:14:28.300
It's like the Hebrew something is one of the NGOs that's helping funnel them.
01:14:35.600
He said, yo, and he said it's the biggest NGO down there is the Hebrew one.
01:14:44.840
It almost makes me feel horrible because now I'm right.
01:14:57.360
When Dave Smith comes on in a few minutes, I know we're going to hash it out about all
01:15:05.660
You were like, hey, Dave, I know you asked RFK Jr. about this stuff, but you're way too
01:15:17.960
And you were like, no, he deserves to get destroyed.
01:15:25.360
And I know that if Dave Smith did see it, he probably has me muted after my whole fucking
01:15:39.860
He was like, Dave, you want to talk about Kanye again?
01:15:45.520
So we don't have anything to say about this chick?
01:15:55.640
For the record, before you try and make it like, oh, I'm not the anti-Semi and you guys
01:16:01.620
You literally said, hey, Stu Peters, he's really anti-Semitic.
01:16:04.260
I said that because y'all were saying anti-Semitic shit.
01:16:24.520
So she made a point to say that this was coming off like breaking up with her boyfriend.
01:16:28.900
Would you rather be the first guy or the 22nd guy?
01:16:31.480
Because I feel like the first guy, even though you don't have to be.
01:16:36.380
Because the first guy, even though like, yes, you're not going to be after all these other
01:16:40.780
dudes, but the first guy is definitely getting all like the emotion out of it.
01:16:49.540
Toad with another distorted sense of what good sex is.
01:16:59.220
Toad, you don't know what it's like to have a bitch sucking your dick and then start crying.
01:17:07.580
Everybody can say first, and I understand that.
01:17:09.360
But there is something, too, that this girl is going to break down crying either in the
01:17:20.080
Yeah, you can deal with this fucking this six that's crying while you're having sex with
01:17:24.740
Or you can deal with HIV and herpes and gonorrhea and all that sorts of other shit for the
01:17:35.880
Like, the chances of the previous dude having some sort of crazy venereal disease is a little
01:17:42.340
So, like, if you're number two, you've gotten the emotional stuff out, you know?
01:17:47.540
But, yeah, but the scale of, like, how emotional do you want to be to how good the sex you want
01:17:52.480
That's what I think also is by, like, the 20-second guy.
01:17:55.100
I mean, she's really, like, she's just going all out.
01:18:07.940
There are a couple reasons why Cole is wrong about that.
01:18:11.280
So, you want to go with the first check, because the emotion is actually going to make the sex
01:18:24.780
If she's crying, that's awesome, because then you get to comfort her, too.
01:18:38.780
You do not understand what it's like to deal with a woman that is emotionally crying after
01:18:43.720
He goes, I want to have sex with the one who's the most mentally and emotionally damaged so
01:18:50.020
that she cries during sex because I want to comfort her after.
01:18:56.120
It's funny, because Cole has a direct experience with that.
01:18:59.040
Like, Liz used to do this shit all the time to you?
01:19:06.720
Dude, I'm going to skip the pussy and go right to the comfort.
01:19:12.200
It's been like a hundred episodes since you last said this.
01:19:15.260
So what happens, when we were dating, and we would, so I wouldn't, like, we were long
01:19:19.060
distance, so I would ever see her, like, once a month or maybe twice a month, and then
01:19:22.800
we would, like, we would get together and we would just fuck.
01:19:35.680
He's like, he's just not checking his phone, because he knows his handlers are just, like,
01:19:39.860
blowing up, like, what the fuck did you just do?
01:19:43.660
Oh, wait, Shane Gillis is trying to go to see Shane Gillis.
01:19:46.200
Can you imagine if that's how you got outed by going viral on Twitter?
01:19:48.600
Toad, Toad, Toad just said, Toad just said out of the blue, oh, Shane Gillis is playing,
01:20:02.540
Did we say anything at all related to that, Tyler?
01:20:10.040
He is so, word associate Handler with must say this phrase.
01:20:13.860
This is, I'm, like, honestly getting freaked out now.
01:20:31.200
They're going to replace, Toad's going to be off the mission, and it's going to be another
01:20:41.520
And he just goes through, like, and messes all our names up.
01:20:57.540
We're making your job really hard, but I appreciate all the help, because this is proved.
01:21:04.900
This is totally off topic, totally aside, but Elizabeth has started to say that she's
01:21:13.480
And every time, every time I'm going, I'm like, fuck you, Clint.
01:21:27.660
I literally started wearing slippers to work before I put on my work boots, because
01:21:31.880
I'm going to apply this philosophy a little bit.
01:21:39.940
It's just a nice pillow, like a vector of a pillow.
01:21:48.540
Like a night shirt almost with a little pocket.
01:21:50.420
Dude, can we get like a pillow throw or something?
01:21:55.920
He's just not checking his phone because he knows his handlers are just like blowing up.
01:22:10.900
He saw the fucking name and he said it right away.
01:22:20.920
I almost feel bad because it's like, I don't know what you know and if we are just like
01:22:25.340
really torturing your existence like internally right now.
01:22:27.860
I just want to be very clear for our audience's sake.
01:22:30.260
Whether or not Toad is doing a bit right now, none of us are in on it.
01:22:36.480
So, if he is doing this as a bit, it's his own thing.
01:22:40.860
He does weird shit like this, though, to be fair.
01:22:43.000
Yeah, he does Boston Toad and Boston Toad for no fucking reason.
01:22:53.180
No, there was, we cleaned out the fucking drain and there was like chunks of vomit in there.
01:23:23.860
I've already got multiple notifications about Toads of Fat.
01:23:28.920
Look, can we please play the chilly all-female SWAT team?
01:23:36.660
Like, what are we going to, like, okay, but go ahead.
01:23:56.920
I still want to get your ideas, like, on would you rather be the first guy or the 22nd guy
01:24:17.660
because of what you have to deal with with the woman.
01:24:26.940
Oh, I thought you were saying, like, I was scared.
01:24:29.180
No, because she implied at the end that she said, so she said, I wanted to get up to 20,
01:24:38.760
So it implies, like, she was at 19 at least and then fucked three guys at the same time that
01:24:49.780
What always mystifies me is when it's a girl that's as attractive as her.
01:24:53.200
It's like, you just simply don't need to be doing this at all.
01:24:57.160
Like, there's no, there's just no justification for it.
01:25:04.520
Girls, girls way less attractive than her could run through 50 in a week if they wanted
01:25:11.260
Let's, let's, let's like, let's run through this.
01:25:13.200
What, what do you think the body count of a woman, if she just like, if she was just
01:25:17.040
above average looking, what do you think she could pull?
01:25:21.620
If she was like legit, like if she had the mindset of a dude, of the mindset of a guy,
01:25:26.180
like of like how much we want to fuck, like she wanted to fuck the same, but she's
01:25:31.700
I think they're, they're stuck by the limitations of what their own pussy could even take.
01:25:37.460
Like literally, like if it, if it's three or four, they have biological constraints.
01:25:45.140
Like if one of them, do you think they, do you think they have a more biological constraint
01:25:48.960
Like we have to like, we charge, we don't recharge the thing though.
01:25:52.980
If, but I'm talking about the option, they have the option.
01:25:55.800
If, if we had the option to just get hard and just put your dick into a different pussy,
01:26:02.020
And then the next one, technically you could fuck like a hundred girls.
01:26:05.940
But the woman, the woman would have to, the woman could just go up and open their legs and
01:26:12.980
They're constricted by like how much pain it will cause them to fuck four, five times
01:26:20.180
But I feel like after like the second or third day, it kind of like the pain goes away.
01:26:34.340
Just fuck some like regular white looking dudes.
01:26:37.500
Ask the woman in the chat, even with a regular dick.
01:26:42.700
How many, how many dicks does it take before your pussies rip?
01:26:46.060
Let's get them all, let's get them all to answer that question.
01:26:48.920
How many regular size dicks does it take for your pussy?
01:26:53.560
I'm sure you guys have done multiple times where you and your wife or whatever, girlfriend
01:26:56.980
or your hand, I guess, Toad, have like fucked multiple times back to back.
01:27:01.380
So I guess the question is like how many times of that would feel like she's like, that shit's
01:27:07.480
I think the girls, I don't think they're going to rip unless you're just too big.
01:27:15.560
I don't want to say a rip, but like definitely start to like, it was red.
01:27:19.080
What I've heard, what I've heard, what I've been told was it feels bruised.
01:27:24.980
I've heard that it feels ripped and like, you can almost see like I'm like a red, like
01:27:30.220
But like, I guess technically on a cellular level, it did rip, but like not towards visible.
01:27:34.900
Someone in the chat said, this is why anal is important.
01:27:42.460
The girls I fuck are 18 and when they're, when they start to get sore, I get another
01:27:47.480
I just, he never sticks around long enough to actually hear like, hey, my pussy hurts.
01:28:08.800
A regular six-incher, average girth, how much doing this to you until it hurts?
01:28:16.420
I feel like that's the only biological constraint.
01:28:20.500
You can rip that, but that's because it is ripping.
01:28:35.000
Do you think, yeah, do you think, like, her husband has, like, a, you know, little thoughts
01:28:40.700
He's like, did she fuck her fucking stepbrother?
01:28:45.440
I'll tell you, whether or not he's had those questions?
01:28:57.280
It's gone from, like, I wonder if she did, to, like, I can't believe she fucked her black
01:29:05.160
Oh, aside from that he raped her, it's like, he fucked her, and he was like, and he left,
01:29:08.860
like they usually do, and so she's just heartbroken.
01:29:11.200
I thought you were saying it was non-consensual, and that's why she's racist.
01:29:15.280
Well, it's a little bit of column A, a little bit of column B.
01:29:21.380
We shouldn't be able to walk tomorrow if you did it right.
01:29:36.200
I think if a girl was, like, dedicated to it and wasn't in it for pleasure, but just
01:29:41.720
wanted to see how many I could get through, I think a girl could do close to 40 in a week.
01:29:56.760
Especially when my wife first met, we're, like, fucking, like, crazy, and then we, like...
01:30:00.000
Literally every night was, like, probably two to four times.
01:30:03.580
Like, there would, like, throughout the week, as we got later, it'd be like, I'd only get
01:30:07.640
it once, or, like, I'd get the one occasional, I just, I can't do it today, honey, and that'd
01:30:12.800
But, like, I mean, she was clearly really horny, so I'd be rubbing on my dick and shit,
01:30:22.640
No, she wasn't, because it hurt, and, like, when I try, so she, like, sucked my dick or
01:30:25.680
some shit just because she was so turned on, because it's, like, she wants to fuck, but
01:30:29.620
This is a real fun, made-up story about your fake wife.
01:30:34.820
The women are built to, like, fuck and then get pregnant.
01:30:37.100
Maybe get in a committed relationship and get back to me.
01:30:46.140
I've got a fucking wife and fucking five kids just like you.
01:30:55.900
Toad, I'm about to blow your whole, like, hypothesis out of the water.
01:31:05.580
Because how long does it take for them to know they're pregnant?
01:31:12.440
In that little while, they have to fuck as much as they can to get pregnant.
01:31:20.540
I'm just saying, like, he's talking about, like, a biological drive.
01:31:23.400
He was trying to say that they fuck to get pregnant.
01:31:25.760
So, in his mind, he's going, like, they just fuck one time, get pregnant, and then it's over.
01:31:33.600
But dudes are going around just impregnating every woman that they see.
01:31:44.020
That you're really that concerned you were going to knock a bitch up?
01:31:51.420
You have literally a textbook knowledge of this stuff.
01:31:56.820
Hey, why would you have sex multiple times in a day?
01:32:05.500
He was like, hey, why would you have sex one time?
01:32:08.100
And then he's like, Jose, why would you do it again?
01:32:17.180
Yeah, that was my sex fed class, is what they're saying.
01:32:23.800
Alright, so we're not going to fucking watch any videos or do any content.
01:32:26.660
We're just going to talk shit this entire episode.
01:32:31.000
Like, how are we supposed to make dick jokes when that fucking happened?
01:33:02.900
By the way, the extra chromosome means their pussy doesn't hurt.
01:33:09.300
The extra chromosome is the cat chromosome, so they can't be raped either.
01:33:16.640
You're frantically reaching for fucking taglines from previous stuff.
01:33:20.380
Just to be like, show, look, in-group preference.
01:33:24.840
By the way, our live show, our live show, when we were in Georgia, Toad, upon inquiry, was
01:33:35.240
forced to acknowledge he would gladly date a Down Syndrome bitch or a retard.
01:33:50.660
Toad was the only one there that didn't look happy to be there.
01:33:55.160
And everyone else was just kind of like, well, what are we going to talk about?
01:34:00.680
Every time we go to an event live, and he's like, he's like, are you guys going to kill
01:34:05.380
It's because he thinks that we figured out that he's a fed, and we're going to take him out.
01:34:22.500
I feel like you must not have caught some key moments, because this is a pretty damning
01:34:28.080
Do you think we're really going to kill you, Toad, though?
01:34:51.720
Toad definitely had a DEI fed instructor, because everything he says is the wrong thing, but
01:34:58.660
it's just some fucking dumb black bitch teaching him how to not.
01:35:01.860
Honestly, we're such easy marks that he can get away with just basically blowing his cover
01:35:10.080
We flipped the script to where we so were that, that it was like, I can't work with
01:35:19.080
Say he did leak the awful things we've said in the group chat.
01:35:22.100
Like, we've gone through shit like this before, and we fucking rock when shit like that happens,
01:35:27.540
and we would fucking capitalize it and come back like fucking twice as strong just because
01:35:33.500
I mean, you could probably, you know, like put weapons in my house.
01:35:37.620
Owen Benjamin would argue that Toad is the good guy.
01:35:44.660
And for no apparent reason, Top would agree with him.
01:35:50.040
Owen says the most retarded shit imaginable, and Top goes, he's got a good point there.
01:35:55.360
I don't want to elaborate, but, you know, I don't think you're seeing Owen's genius.
01:36:00.600
Top's just like, yeah, Toad's an FBI agent, but Owen told me it's cool, and I think he's got a good point.
01:36:06.880
If Owen was wrong, he went and he debated most of the big libertarians in like that libertarian space and won.
01:36:29.260
Bob did not do a great job, but he also wasn't trying to debate him, so...
01:36:38.920
Look, I wanted to, but I was in joke mode, so, you know.
01:36:48.660
He ran through like three, and then he moved on to this Taylor Swift shit, and now he's on to some
01:36:55.780
Now he's doing like KFC, but for racists or some shit like that, so I'm like, you know,
01:37:03.200
I do want to talk about this Taylor Swift Super Bowl thing, because it is...
01:37:12.060
Let's talk about Taylor Swift when I have a Fed to my left, all right?
01:37:17.720
You need to choose the content to distract me from it.
01:37:21.160
He's been told by his Fed buddies, and they're like, you know, this Taylor Swift thing is
01:37:24.860
pretty crazy, like, that we actually got her in the club.
01:37:26.620
I'm tweeting out, guys, this isn't a PSYOP, you're a conspiracy theorist, so what do you
01:37:31.820
I'm literally waiting for it, so this is like...
01:37:34.660
I do watch Super Bowl, and I know Clayton will probably watch it, and Toad will watch it.
01:37:43.420
Actually, I don't know if Toad might not watch Super Bowl.
01:37:45.420
That may have been just being funny, and if so...
01:37:56.900
Actually, I don't think Toad will watch Super Bowl.
01:37:58.460
He'll watch, like, a Division II college basketball or something, but I'm willing to bet...
01:38:06.940
I'm willing to bet that if the Chiefs win, which I'm pretty sure they will win, because,
01:38:17.940
They want them to win, because they want Taylor Swift to hold up the Super Bowl.
01:38:23.880
They want her to be the one at the end holding it up.
01:38:32.920
More or less, it's just going to make me fucking piss off.
01:38:48.160
Clint got a call from his Fed handlers, and they're like,
01:38:52.000
God, dude, you know this guy just calling it out.
01:38:54.300
You have to, like, you have to get out now, too.
01:38:57.040
Like, I don't think you just realize that, like, you guys are like,
01:39:06.820
That Taylor Swift shit is a diversion for what is actually going on.
01:39:11.740
Like, what Cole said is what they want you to think.
01:39:14.040
Like, you can actually go out there and bet, like,
01:39:16.680
Will Travis Kelsey propose to Taylor Swift at the end of the game?
01:39:23.180
I said, I think that what's going to happen is that Andy Reid,
01:39:26.360
the coach of the Chiefs, for anybody that doesn't know,
01:39:29.560
And then he's going to, like, he's going to have the Super Bowl trophy.
01:39:42.840
And I think it's really funny that that would actually happen.
01:39:59.440
And, like, because we're pushing her to push, like,
01:40:01.780
because she's been telling people to vote for Biden.
01:40:10.840
I saw it at the Atlanta airport during the Ravens game.
01:40:13.360
It was, like, 99% of the people watching that game
01:40:16.180
were all rooting for the Ravens, like, hardcore.
01:40:29.960
You just come around for the ride of the conversation.
01:40:32.100
We'll do, like, the production work of, like, steering it.
01:40:46.000
Why does there need to be a bad guy and a good guy?
01:41:08.540
If JC looks like that Down Syndrome guy we showed earlier,
01:41:40.020
and you've just completely become an ass of yourself.
01:41:43.160
You know this is going to blow up at some point,
01:41:52.940
And this is because he just so screwed up his job
01:42:00.300
And we just literally retarded our way through it
01:42:26.060
Dude, Down syndrome people would fucking love us.
01:42:35.460
I feel like they would love this show, honestly.
01:53:38.180
I don't know if Tyler was going to bring it up.