Tower Gang - Ep 187

00:00:00.000 Please, please, please, please, please, this shit is retarded.

00:00:03.180 This is how we get Wednesday, motherfuckers.

00:00:06.400 Retarded.

00:00:06.900 What's up, retards?

00:00:11.120 I want to listen to music from the hood.

00:00:13.020 I don't ever want to step foot in it.

00:00:14.760 Yes.

00:00:15.040 Right.

00:00:17.340 I've been reprying for another one.

00:00:19.560 And in the background, I was like, it would be me that gets retarded, baby.

00:00:22.800 But it would be so cruel.

00:00:24.320 And I'm like, hold you when you're down.

00:00:26.020 Why are we talking about f*** on this show?

00:00:41.480 Oh, that's too far.

00:00:44.660 I'm asking a question.

00:00:48.500 Start.

00:00:49.940 Whoa, with the feet.

00:00:51.200 Skip the pussy.

00:00:52.360 Skip it.

00:00:53.040 It's not what this show is about.

00:00:54.620 This shit is retarded.

00:00:56.020 That was a very unnecessary additional four black seconds.

00:01:06.020 I don't know.

00:01:06.480 I don't know why I did that for.

00:01:08.260 I don't either.

00:01:09.400 The color of it was very unsettling to me.

00:01:12.180 Yeah, I didn't like the black aspect of it.

00:01:15.200 I wanted to say what I realized, and I don't know why I haven't ever said this before, but

00:01:19.660 when the show starts and it says, what's up, retards?

00:01:22.640 And then there's this crashing noise.

00:01:24.200 It reminds me of Stone Cold Steve Austin's entrance, or there's a bunch of different wrestlers

00:01:28.640 that would have breaking glass before they would come in.

00:01:30.820 I think Triple H did a whole bunch of X-Pac.

00:01:33.400 I like it.

00:01:34.180 I like it a lot.

00:01:34.820 I actually added that on purpose because I wanted it to have that kind of nostalgia feel.

00:01:41.800 It feels like the break in the glass, and then you fucking come out.

00:01:44.240 I told you.

00:01:45.920 I caught it.

00:01:46.860 Was everybody a WWE watcher or just a wrestling watcher growing up?

00:01:51.020 Just for two years, I was super into it, and that was it.

00:01:54.140 Dude, we all still are.

00:01:55.780 No.

00:01:56.460 See, that's crazy.

00:01:57.540 Cole is probing.

00:01:59.060 He's probing to say, how many of y'all jerked off to it?

00:02:01.640 He's like, this is not his fault.

00:02:03.480 You know that's where it's going.

00:02:04.520 That was the next question.

00:02:05.040 No, no, no, no, no, no, because I never was, like, outside of my, like, I would go to my

00:02:08.660 grandparents' house, and my grandpa loved WWE, but he would only, every time I remember.

00:02:12.400 Was your grandfather retarded?

00:02:14.940 No, he's dead.

00:02:18.180 No, but he would always watch, like, the girls, like, wrestling.

00:02:23.480 I just remember that vividly where I would be at his house, and then, like, he would always be WWE.

00:02:27.540 Y'all are probably too young for this era, but I'm telling you, Stacey Keebler.

00:02:31.940 Stacey Keebler, baby.

00:02:33.100 Mother of God.

00:02:34.500 Yes.

00:02:35.140 Yeah.

00:02:35.620 Mother of God.

00:02:36.160 I saw her recently.

00:02:37.320 She just got inducted to the Hall of Fame, some Hall of Fame, and I saw Stacey Keebler.

00:02:41.640 Swear to God.

00:02:42.020 What's she look like now?

00:02:44.000 You know, time doesn't, it's not.

00:02:45.420 Busted as a motherfucker, right?

00:02:47.100 No, she looks good.

00:02:48.220 She looks good.

00:02:48.880 All right, all right, all right.

00:02:49.320 But I'm like, maybe she wasn't as hot as I thought she was, because I saw her, and she

00:02:53.560 looked like.

00:02:54.060 Speaking of hot, is it just New Top coming in hot as fuck?

00:02:57.460 I'm coming in hot.

00:02:57.800 No, he sounds good.

00:02:58.380 I think he sounds good.

00:02:59.140 Oh, did he?

00:02:59.520 Okay, maybe it's just me being sensitive.

00:03:00.260 Dude, Stacey Keebler, dude, she's a liar.

00:03:02.720 You better watch out, we're still on YouTube.

00:03:06.080 She's in my Spank Hall of Fame, that's where she's been.

00:03:09.820 It was crazy what they got away with on, like, because that was like, it wasn't even

00:03:14.120 cable TV, it was like just over the air TV, wasn't it?

00:03:18.120 No, it was cable.

00:03:19.420 No, it was cable.

00:03:19.800 Was it cable?

00:03:20.600 Yeah.

00:03:21.520 Okay.

00:03:21.980 But they still got away with a lot.

00:03:23.660 You think it was on CBS, you fucking...

00:03:25.060 Yeah, because I had to go to my grandmother's house to watch it.

00:03:27.060 I can't believe, of all the fucking, like, sub-70 IQ people on this show, you didn't watch

00:03:33.040 wrestling?

00:03:33.880 No.

00:03:34.000 Wasn't there a period of...

00:03:34.780 How is that possible?

00:03:35.740 Their big shit had pay-per-views?

00:03:37.540 Like, or do they still do that?

00:03:38.800 Dog, I think they do.

00:03:39.560 I used to get the pay-per-views.

00:03:41.160 My uncle used to fucking record them.

00:03:43.220 He would get them bootleg, record them for me, because I wasn't allowed to stay up,

00:03:46.320 and then pass them off to me when I, like, came home from school.

00:03:49.500 My mom wouldn't know, and I'd watch it in the VHS.

00:03:51.280 She's still pretty.

00:03:51.720 That's her now?

00:03:52.440 That's awesome.

00:03:52.740 I still fuck her.

00:03:54.320 Yeah, well...

00:03:54.620 Wait, pull that back up.

00:03:55.280 I missed it.

00:03:55.860 It's a ringing endorsement?

00:03:58.180 Yeah, I know.

00:03:58.780 It's like you and everybody else.

00:03:59.720 She's got some work done.

00:04:00.280 She literally has a family right there.

00:04:01.840 Yes, that is a beautiful woman, Toad.

00:04:03.360 She's got some work done out of her face, but...

00:04:04.640 Dude, the family makes it hotter, man.

00:04:06.640 I get to cock her husband.

00:04:07.680 But now she's got, like, old lady body, like, in-shape old lady body, and it just doesn't

00:04:12.240 have the same...

00:04:14.080 Yeah, see, look at that.

00:04:14.880 That's Stacey Keeble, the old one right there.

00:04:16.560 See, in the ring?

00:04:17.040 I'm into it.

00:04:18.580 Yeah, I'm kind of into it more, yeah.

00:04:20.640 More?

00:04:21.560 Yeah.

00:04:22.320 I like it more, too.

00:04:23.360 This guy's deluded.

00:04:23.980 No, no, I like it more.

00:04:25.200 She's, like, less jacked.

00:04:26.440 It's, like, less likely that she'll, like, kick my ass.

00:04:28.600 See, that's what made her special, is that all the other wrestling chicks, not all, but

00:04:32.780 most of them were, like, kind of butch, and you're, like...

00:04:35.420 Yeah, she was fat.

00:04:36.240 Like, China?

00:04:36.920 Yeah.

00:04:37.060 Like, she can't even slay me.

00:04:38.740 Like, we know what you're here for.

00:04:39.580 China is just a dude.

00:04:40.920 China would crush your head in between her thighs.

00:04:45.620 Didn't China have a...

00:04:46.700 Or did she go straight porn, or did she just have a sex tape?

00:04:48.880 No, there was a...

00:04:49.520 I think it was, like, one of those sex tapes that was leaked for porn purposes to, like...

00:04:54.140 Yeah.

00:04:54.400 You ever watch it?

00:04:55.680 Anybody watch it?

00:04:56.340 Hulk Hogan.

00:04:56.980 I think I did.

00:04:57.620 Is she the one with her where she's, like, the Hulk or some shit like that?

00:05:00.080 Like, or is that some other person?

00:05:01.580 No, she fucks...

00:05:02.460 She fucks Tupac in this one, right?

00:05:04.280 Is this...

00:05:04.680 X-Pac.

00:05:04.960 If I'm remembering correctly, X-Pac.

00:05:06.300 Yeah, Tupac, definitely not Tupac.

00:05:07.940 She meant black for her first porno?

00:05:11.760 By the way, I ran into X-Pac in Pechanga Casino fucking forever ago, and I walked past him,

00:05:17.500 and I was like, how's that kid?

00:05:18.960 And I was so excited, and he was just like, yeah, what's up, man?

00:05:21.680 And then he was, like, 5'5".

00:05:23.380 He was so tiny.

00:05:24.700 It's crazy.

00:05:24.980 Hell yeah.

00:05:26.340 Yeah.

00:05:27.420 One for the short bros.

00:05:28.540 I swear, there's one where she's the Hulk.

00:05:30.780 There's a porn where she's literally the Hulk.

00:05:32.440 I swear.

00:05:33.320 Oh, because she didn't do porn after.

00:05:35.600 No, like, before she died, she was doing porn, like, as a thing.

00:05:38.620 Yeah.

00:05:39.240 Okay, I might be off here.

00:05:41.800 Tyler, pull up some of her porn, please.

00:05:43.620 I just think there's one where she's literally painted green.

00:05:46.180 Is there a difference between China and Blac Chyna?

00:05:48.820 Are those two different people?

00:05:50.040 Or is that what I'm saying?

00:05:51.220 Yeah, I'm like, maybe I'm conflating the two.

00:05:53.540 I don't know.

00:05:54.580 I'm so confused.

00:05:56.100 Is there a difference?

00:05:57.660 Same thing.

00:05:58.520 Blac Chyna.

00:05:59.400 Yeah, remember that?

00:06:00.440 Triple H was, like, Triple H was fucking her, and then he ended up with the...

00:06:03.700 Yo, I think that's a conspiracy.

00:06:05.360 I think you're gay.

00:06:06.180 If you have sex with China, you're gay.

00:06:07.520 X-Pac, gay.

00:06:09.080 Triple H, gay.

00:06:10.000 The hell was that, that noise?

00:06:11.740 It's Tyler playing inside a video.

00:06:14.420 He's playing a video, but it's not showing.

00:06:15.520 Think about that conspiracy, though.

00:06:17.060 He was fucking this tranny, Triple H, and then he basically...

00:06:21.200 Oh, China.

00:06:21.940 Okay.

00:06:22.200 That was his, like, shit.

00:06:23.000 And then he ended up with the daughter of the company.

00:06:25.360 Now he's running the company.

00:06:27.060 It's crazy.

00:06:28.420 So that wasn't, like, just a storyline that was made up for the show?

00:06:33.620 No, like, early...

00:06:34.760 I think it really happened.

00:06:36.580 Well, it's because he...

00:06:37.360 Didn't he marry Stephanie McMahon?

00:06:39.820 He did.

00:06:40.240 I think he might have been married to China, like, early.

00:06:44.580 Yeah.

00:06:45.160 The best tag team would be Clint and Jose, because it would be...

00:06:48.980 Oh, dude, high and low?

00:06:49.960 Yeah, they'd call him high-low.

00:06:50.960 Dude, they'd call him high-low.

00:06:52.300 That's fucking great.

00:06:52.560 High-low would be the perfect tag team.

00:06:54.460 They would come...

00:06:55.160 Dude, you could even do, like, a high...

00:06:57.180 Like, you would basically hit a guy.

00:06:58.940 Yo, what would be...

00:06:59.240 I could just go like this, and he'd use me his battering rim.

00:07:02.000 Yo, no, no, no.

00:07:02.760 Our finishing move would be the low-high, where I'd jump off your shoulders.

00:07:07.240 Toad is, like, pole bearer on the outside, and he's just, like...

00:07:11.240 We don't let him wrestle.

00:07:12.720 Yeah, no, I think low-high would be cool, though, because you would think that Jose would just

00:07:16.540 go low for, like, the knees, and you would go up high, like, to, like, hit a guy, like,

00:07:19.560 in football, but you would switch it, and actually, Clint would go low, and Jose would just,

00:07:24.700 like, cannonball to a dude's head.

00:07:26.300 That'd be dope.

00:07:27.020 That'd be dope.

00:07:27.840 Topper, are you enough of a comic book nerd to remember the cannonball special, which

00:07:30.680 is, like, some nerd thing?

00:07:32.180 It's like...

00:07:32.780 Well, some do, when you have, like, a small, stocky character, and, like, a big...

00:07:36.100 They'll literally, like, push them off their arm, and they'll jump off it, kind of, like,

00:07:39.940 almost like a cannonball.

00:07:41.360 Dude, the high-low would work in his hand, just...

00:07:44.500 For the smaller cost, like, Jose could climb up on the tall bitch and then jump off her

00:07:48.460 shoulders right onto the three, like, smaller ones and crush the three of them.

00:07:52.140 Is that true?

00:07:52.960 Jason Ellis fuck China?

00:07:55.200 And he's gay?

00:07:55.840 He is, uh...

00:07:56.820 I don't know.

00:07:57.140 He's bi.

00:07:59.020 That's gay.

00:08:00.020 You're bi, you're gay.

00:08:01.340 I was trying to find this when Toad was talking.

00:08:03.000 What the fuck are you talking about?

00:08:04.240 I feel like now that we have that, we should use it, like, uh, every time, just to let

00:08:09.700 you know, Toad.

00:08:10.500 That was a...

00:08:11.020 That's a warning.

00:08:12.420 Would you have sex with China to be a co-owner of the WWE?

00:08:16.100 Yeah.

00:08:16.420 That's...

00:08:16.740 That's the question.

00:08:17.700 China now?

00:08:20.120 Just skull and bones China.

00:08:22.040 I don't think it's any worse.

00:08:23.560 I don't think it's any worse.

00:08:24.640 I honestly don't.

00:08:25.220 Dude, you get to be a partial owner, man.

00:08:27.320 You can fuck a corpse for that.

00:08:29.180 Yeah, and you...

00:08:30.120 And they're owned by ESPN now, aren't they?

00:08:31.760 Or, no, they're not owned by ESPN.

00:08:33.300 They're just, uh...

00:08:33.900 They're on, uh, TNT now, I think, right?

00:08:36.100 No.

00:08:36.360 Whoever owns UFC also owns the WWE right now.

00:08:40.120 They just sold to some Saudi company.

00:08:41.360 You guys wouldn't just fuck some super-duper ugly broad for a fuckload of equity?

00:08:44.460 Like, that's just not where you're at in life?

00:08:46.140 It's a no-brainer.

00:08:46.620 Why was this even a question?

00:08:47.840 Like, yeah.

00:08:48.620 Like, yeah, that's...

00:08:50.520 Okay, ew, gross, but, you know, a lot of money.

00:08:53.280 I'd do it just because I'd finally get to fuck.

00:08:54.780 That's what...

00:08:55.320 That's how Clint made two million dollars.

00:08:58.520 Fucking old bitches.

00:08:59.360 I went to China one time.

00:09:00.680 Yeah, because they were like, if you have sex with...

00:09:02.760 That's why I saw X-Pac at Pechanga.

00:09:05.740 He was right behind you.

00:09:07.160 He was sitting on the cuck chair in the hotel room.

00:09:09.960 Oh, God.

00:09:10.500 What even is Pechanga?

00:09:11.820 That's my chair.

00:09:12.740 It sounds like some pretentious place you made up.

00:09:13.840 No, there's Indian casinos all over the country, and then California's got a bunch, so there's...

00:09:19.040 What are they called?

00:09:20.780 There's Pechanga.

00:09:21.780 There's Barona.

00:09:23.820 Barona Casino.

00:09:25.000 A bunch of them.

00:09:25.940 It's right next to that Mexican nightclub you was talking about last week.

00:09:29.540 No, that's Tijuana.

00:09:30.820 That's Tijuana.

00:09:32.020 Actually, no, that wasn't even Tijuana.

00:09:33.340 That was the other city like an hour south.

00:09:34.900 I'm blanking on the name.

00:09:36.320 Clint, you're a shady dude.

00:09:37.820 You're a shady dude.

00:09:38.660 I would never go that far.

00:09:39.300 I don't think so.

00:09:39.820 I would not go that far into Mexico, dude.

00:09:41.360 The more he tells us about his travels, like every time we talk about this, he's like,

00:09:45.320 I've been to this place, that place.

00:09:47.020 This guy is either...

00:09:48.280 Have you ever been to Thailand?

00:09:49.420 Awesome place.

00:09:50.440 Amazing.

00:09:51.440 I was there on this...

00:09:52.340 I mean...

00:09:52.840 No, he just smiled.

00:09:54.040 You've been to Thailand.

00:09:55.300 Have you been to Thailand?

00:09:56.540 I haven't, actually.

00:09:57.320 I would like to leave you.

00:09:58.360 I would like to.

00:09:59.620 I'd stay a couple of weeks in Thailand just to...

00:10:01.680 Thailand's beautiful.

00:10:03.060 I know that it's a big sex tourism thing for dudes in their 40s that aren't married.

00:10:08.060 Lady boys.

00:10:08.460 So, I can understand why you wouldn't believe me that I want to go there because it's beautiful.

00:10:13.000 I'd love to feel up...

00:10:14.040 I mean, feel out the culture.

00:10:17.100 If I wanted to fuck dudes, I would just stay here and do it.

00:10:19.960 Hey, Clint, didn't you have something you wanted to get off your chest about Destiny?

00:10:22.600 I didn't watch the video.

00:10:23.860 That's because I was like...

00:10:24.560 I don't watch it either.

00:10:25.660 Oh, I just thought it'd be fun to roast him because like this...

00:10:27.940 I'm getting dragged because I was in a Twitter spaces with him.

00:10:31.420 You sounded either high or tired as fuck, too.

00:10:34.240 I was tired.

00:10:34.760 Sleepy.

00:10:35.300 Yeah, he was so sleepy.

00:10:36.560 I could tell.

00:10:37.000 He was like...

00:10:37.400 Sleepy, Clint.

00:10:37.960 I can't remember exactly what the thing was like.

00:10:40.820 I wasn't really in need.

00:10:42.000 Donald Trump is like...

00:10:43.820 I literally joined the space because I wanted to just ask him if he was okay because he had

00:10:48.080 just been celebrating, you know, death of Trump supporters.

00:10:51.820 And like, then I got in there and he's just like, you tell me which fucking...

00:10:55.860 Which case against Donald Trump is bullshit?

00:10:58.220 And I was like, I think probably the document case, you know, at Mar-a-Lago.

00:11:01.680 I think that was kind of bunk.

00:11:02.420 Hey, hey, real quick.

00:11:03.740 Doesn't he stream all the time?

00:11:05.680 Yeah.

00:11:05.860 All the time.

00:11:06.520 He's giving an audience.

00:11:07.620 En-bomb him.

00:11:08.440 Let's do it.

00:11:10.580 No, we can't send our audience to him.

00:11:12.220 We'll lose.

00:11:12.720 We'll lose everybody.

00:11:13.500 No, there's a way to...

00:11:14.780 Or is he probably not on YouTube.

00:11:15.700 There's a way.

00:11:16.780 There is a way to send our audience.

00:11:18.600 We did it before.

00:11:18.680 We did the raid shit.

00:11:19.540 Yeah, we should nigger raid destiny.

00:11:22.400 Yeah, nigger raid him.

00:11:24.040 Let's do it.

00:11:26.260 But anyway, Spectre's story.

00:11:27.300 Yeah, but anyway, you sounded kind of sleepy in this...

00:11:29.860 I was.

00:11:30.160 I was sleepy.

00:11:30.840 I was afraid you weren't on top of your game.

00:11:32.800 I think I had just flown...

00:11:34.520 Yeah, no, I had.

00:11:35.160 I had just flown a red-eye back to Miami from Vegas.

00:11:39.200 Have you seen the people doing the raw dogging flights?

00:11:43.080 Have you seen that?

00:11:44.040 Yeah.

00:11:44.540 What?

00:11:45.200 Oh, God.

00:11:45.900 You haven't heard about this, Jose?

00:11:46.740 This is great.

00:11:47.160 What does it even mean?

00:11:47.780 Oh, yeah, where you're just like, nothing.

00:11:50.100 Like, I'm not sleeping.

00:11:51.200 I'm not reading.

00:11:51.840 No music.

00:11:52.660 No nothing.

00:11:53.260 Just sitting.

00:11:54.000 No food.

00:11:54.820 No water.

00:11:55.780 Just you and your inside thoughts.

00:11:58.560 I think you learned the guy who was like, just got done raw dogging a 12-hour red-eye from

00:12:02.780 like LA to New York.

00:12:04.620 He was like...

00:12:05.100 It was transcendent.

00:12:08.040 This is the new manosphere.

00:12:09.780 It's incredible.

00:12:10.400 I don't know how you stay awake if you don't do anything.

00:12:13.740 12 hours?

00:12:14.420 That's crazy.

00:12:14.940 I saw one guy where he said he tried to stand the whole time.

00:12:18.200 Like, he was just standing.

00:12:20.460 They made him sit down.

00:12:22.420 He was like...

00:12:23.100 Of course they would.

00:12:23.780 I think it's a test for people.

00:12:25.260 It's a test for people to see, like, how NPC they are.

00:12:28.640 And the ones that brag about doing it are super NPC.

00:12:31.260 How could you sit there?

00:12:32.400 That is such a code-breaking.

00:12:33.900 Like, this is not what anyone would expect.

00:12:36.100 Yeah.

00:12:36.400 That's crazy that you said they're the NPC for having the willpower to do it.

00:12:40.040 But it's just because they're just literally having nothing.

00:12:41.560 It's not willpower to do it.

00:12:42.900 Nothing going on.

00:12:44.060 You're able to turn it off and look.

00:12:46.240 That's it.

00:12:46.580 Look, of course he's alive.

00:12:47.660 Yeah, exactly.

00:12:48.400 Raw dog is a new trend where when you're on a flight and you just sit there and you don't

00:12:52.940 do a goddamn thing except for stare at the maps.

00:12:56.440 It's a little thing that tells you how far along you're on the flight.

00:12:59.020 In front of you, you don't listen to music.

00:13:00.460 You don't drink water.

00:13:01.400 You don't eat the snacks.

00:13:02.500 You don't get on your computer.

00:13:03.520 You just sit there and raw dog it the whole way.

00:13:05.740 So this guy says, just raw dog the seven-hour flight.

00:13:09.360 New person and fast.

00:13:11.440 No headphones, no water, nothing.

00:13:15.280 Look at the white man.

00:13:17.540 Look how angry he is.

00:13:19.740 I think Clint would have a really hard time doing this.

00:13:22.940 He's an Australian musician.

00:13:24.020 Oh, yeah.

00:13:25.280 Clint's little thing was, he was like, how are they not fall asleep?

00:13:28.800 It's just meditation.

00:13:30.240 This is all it is.

00:13:31.140 Isn't that what meditation is?

00:13:32.200 Just sitting there and just kind of.

00:13:33.400 I could do it for like a two-hour flight, but seven hours?

00:13:36.540 You think you could.

00:13:37.540 That's what I'm saying.

00:13:38.460 Like at some point, you're like, oh, you're not tough.

00:13:40.780 You're retarded.

00:13:41.740 You're sitting there at hour three going.

00:13:44.780 This is the middle of the Atlantic Ocean.

00:13:46.460 It's like, dude.

00:13:47.340 For the record, they're just taking videos of themselves, not fucking watching a movie.

00:13:51.860 They immediately put their phone down and they put on a movie.

00:13:54.440 They're not doing this for seven hours.

00:13:56.020 There's no fucking way.

00:13:56.640 Do you think of the willpower to do that, though?

00:13:58.680 I think they're lying.

00:13:59.360 Like to really do that.

00:14:00.400 I'm just saying, if you have the willpower to raw dog a seven-hour flight, what do you

00:14:06.360 not have the willpower for?

00:14:07.660 I mean, you can do anything.

00:14:08.860 Like, that's the whole point.

00:14:10.300 We just sold coal on it.

00:14:13.160 I don't have the willpower.

00:14:14.300 Where is my oyster?

00:14:16.000 This was created.

00:14:18.020 It's a PSYOP created by the government to see who's retarded.

00:14:22.500 No, this is a gifted persons program is what this is.

00:14:26.520 We need you for a mission in Thailand.

00:14:28.400 The stewardesses are walking around and they're like, 22B.

00:14:33.860 Just raw dog the whole flight.

00:14:35.320 And you get off the flight and somebody says, right this way, Mr. Cole.

00:14:37.760 Skills are off the chart.

00:14:39.360 Bring him into the bathroom.

00:14:40.700 Right this way, sir.

00:14:42.760 You're in the Delta Premier Lounge now.

00:14:45.780 I bet you crooks.

00:14:46.640 Did he go on any flights recently?

00:14:47.720 He just raw dog the cross-catch you flight.

00:14:51.000 And they're like, we need to take you to Wisconsin.

00:14:53.040 Holy fuck.

00:14:53.560 It's Jason Bourne.

00:14:54.800 Or Pennsylvania.

00:14:55.600 Whatever the day you were.

00:14:55.960 Did you see one of the latest things that the FBI said?

00:14:59.460 Again, I don't want to get too into this, but he didn't have a ladder.

00:15:02.520 This nigga parkoured.

00:15:03.760 Yeah.

00:15:04.300 I saw the thing.

00:15:05.380 They were like, no.

00:15:06.000 No, no, no.

00:15:07.720 Seriously, because they said, I saw the video.

00:15:10.820 I'm telling you, raw dog the flight.

00:15:11.840 Thomas Massey posted it.

00:15:12.920 He's like, if I put my mind to it, I can do anything.

00:15:15.300 I feel like if you parkour your way to the top of a building, you should be allowed to

00:15:19.400 do whatever you want.

00:15:20.200 Yeah.

00:15:20.520 That's why the guy's like 20 yards away just looking at him, which they just dropped on

00:15:24.280 Candace's, which is like, respect.

00:15:26.060 I'll let you have this one.

00:15:27.480 No, because Thomas Massey posted it.

00:15:28.940 He's like locked eyes.

00:15:31.200 Thomas Massey asked, was it Ray?

00:15:34.460 Is that the guy's name?

00:15:35.220 The FBI director?

00:15:35.840 Christopher Ray.

00:15:36.600 Yeah, Christopher Ray.

00:15:37.700 He was like, so did he, he bought like the five foot ladder and he was like, yes.

00:15:42.500 And he's like, so did he use that to get on top?

00:15:44.540 And they were like, no.

00:15:46.060 And they were like, there was another ladder.

00:15:48.120 Did he use the other ladder?

00:15:49.200 And they were like, we don't think so.

00:15:52.060 Yo, amazing.

00:15:53.600 This is amazing shit, guys.

00:15:55.740 This dude did, imagine him just like all retarded out like Heiser Sose and then just

00:15:59.640 like fucking front flip onto the roof.

00:16:02.720 Get on there for a shot that never happened.

00:16:05.020 That's incredible.

00:16:06.060 Like he just, he's on the ground floor and he's like, I have to get my gun up there.

00:16:09.440 And he just chucks it.

00:16:10.520 He just throws it on top of the roof and he's like, now he's going to go get it.

00:16:13.460 And he just like runs and like Assassin's Creed is way up there.

00:16:16.620 He lobs it up.

00:16:17.740 He jumps up and catches it.

00:16:19.020 Like when he lands on the second.

00:16:20.880 You've seen that video that Downs dude is parkouring everywhere, right?

00:16:24.640 Yeah.

00:16:24.900 Yeah.

00:16:25.140 He's going to try to assassinate the president.

00:16:27.880 He might be training for it.

00:16:28.960 Yeah.

00:16:29.540 Look.

00:16:30.000 Oh, I was thinking about it because it's called raw dogging.

00:16:32.400 Parkour.

00:16:32.720 It's called, it's called raw dogging a cross country flight.

00:16:35.420 Does that imply that like listening to music or watching movies are condoms of the air?

00:16:40.900 You know, it'd be really funny.

00:16:42.220 You're like, if you're raw dogging and then you just make, make a video of you with like

00:16:46.400 condom eyes and you're playing a movie and you're going, the whole time.

00:16:50.240 I ain't raw dogging shit, son.

00:16:53.720 Yeah.

00:16:53.980 You catch wild shit up at 10,000 feet.

00:16:57.380 Because I've heard that like, uh, you should raw dog.

00:17:00.120 Like when you go run, like don't listen to music.

00:17:02.060 You should just raw dog.

00:17:02.940 Just listen to, yeah.

00:17:04.100 I don't like it either.

00:17:05.100 I think it's good to, my reasoning is like when it comes to working out is because like

00:17:08.720 sometimes you can only get yourself hyped up with the music and say, if you don't have

00:17:12.300 it one day, then you'll just not run.

00:17:13.880 But if you're able to do it either way, it's like, it's kind of like building that like,

00:17:17.800 Oh, this is great.

00:17:18.560 I can do it.

00:17:18.800 You should, you should raw, you should raw dog workouts.

00:17:21.020 Just walk into a, don't even do a gym.

00:17:22.760 Just walk into a field and find boulders and start lifting, but just fucking just start

00:17:26.660 lifting shit.

00:17:27.660 I mean, I've always raw dog, uh, or, or I would do like hardcore music.

00:17:31.880 It's usually, I've always known, I've known a few people, uh, that went to the gym with

00:17:36.400 me that, that raw dog gym life and they always struck me as psychopaths.

00:17:42.600 Like I think, I listen to podcasts and a lot of people think that's crazy to like lift

00:17:48.640 I used to do that, but yeah, I can't do it anymore.

00:17:50.600 I'd be like doing like 500 for reps with fucking podcasts going.

00:17:55.400 Yeah.

00:17:55.620 I think, I think you're awesome.

00:17:56.500 Dave Smith just kvetching you in your ear for an hour.

00:17:59.040 No, I feel like what would be, what would be like if you found out a guy who was listening

00:18:02.260 to a, because I feel like listening to a podcast, but it depends on the podcast may be worse

00:18:06.400 than just raw dogging it.

00:18:07.440 Just no music, no nothing.

00:18:08.960 Like if you're listening to like, uh, it's hardcore is a great name, right?

00:18:13.140 Title of the episode.

00:18:14.580 Probably.

00:18:15.060 What would be, what would be like if you guys was like, Hey, I listened to this podcast

00:18:19.080 to work out to like, if it was like the, uh, Jordan Lee Peterson podcast.

00:18:23.200 Yeah.

00:18:23.440 Let me, let me ask you, does this guy's dick look, not look like he raw dogs, everything

00:18:27.120 his shit was, you remember it?

00:18:28.380 Yeah.

00:18:28.700 It's painted in my brain.

00:18:29.880 I'll never forget it.

00:18:30.440 It was a bad picture of it.

00:18:33.280 It was kind of like flopped over.

00:18:34.580 No, it was a fine dick.

00:18:35.660 It was just, it was like ashy at the time.

00:18:37.940 Like what the hell?

00:18:38.300 A fine dick, but a bad picture of it.

00:18:40.140 He's the thing.

00:18:40.820 This guy's so smart.

00:18:45.160 I listen to better off dad when I work out.

00:18:48.040 I mean, I'm not getting 15,000 downloads from me not listening.

00:18:52.720 Just on repeat, just going through.

00:18:55.460 Do you re-listen to your shit, Clint?

00:18:57.940 I stopped.

00:18:58.480 I, I did for the first like two years of my show.

00:19:01.780 I haven't listened to myself in a very long time.

00:19:04.860 That's kind of where I'm at.

00:19:05.460 I don't listen.

00:19:05.900 I don't listen to Tower Gang.

00:19:06.940 I don't listen to BPS.

00:19:07.840 I don't listen to LL.

00:19:08.620 I don't listen to any of it.

00:19:09.320 I'll listen to Tower Gang if I'm not there.

00:19:10.780 That's it.

00:19:12.220 I won't even listen then.

00:19:13.260 I'll, I'll, I'll go out of my way not to listen if I'm not on the show.

00:19:16.380 Won't even listen then.

00:19:17.540 Fuck you guys.

00:19:18.580 Don't care.

00:19:20.260 I mean, those are the episodes I really, I delete them as soon as I see them.

00:19:24.380 Seriously though, what's a podcast though that if you heard a guy was listening to

00:19:27.100 while working out, like at the gym, you would be like, you're, you're a psychopath.

00:19:32.140 Tim, if you listen to Tim Cass.

00:19:33.560 Two dollars super chat.

00:19:35.200 Ben Shapiro.

00:19:35.420 A little something for Toad's uke string budget.

00:19:37.700 So there's two dollars for you, Toad.

00:19:39.080 That's the choice.

00:19:40.020 I play so hard.

00:19:40.620 I used to listen to him back in the day.

00:19:41.840 Ben Shapiro.

00:19:42.680 Yeah.

00:19:42.860 It's like anxious energy.

00:19:44.040 That'd be awful gym energy.

00:19:44.980 Oh yeah.

00:19:45.200 I don't know.

00:19:45.680 Anxious energy.

00:19:46.200 I would feel like somebody that's more just like a, Oh, you know, you know, what would

00:19:50.100 make you a psychopath?

00:19:51.040 If you listen to fucking, uh, Sam, what's his name?

00:19:55.620 Harris.

00:19:56.300 Yeah.

00:19:56.560 Sam Harris.

00:19:57.320 Trip.

00:19:57.720 Oh yeah.

00:19:58.400 Because he's just monotone.

00:19:59.840 I know.

00:20:00.540 You are crazy.

00:20:00.940 That actually might put you like a zen state.

00:20:02.960 No.

00:20:03.620 Oh, let me ask you guys something.

00:20:04.760 Hold on.

00:20:05.420 Now it's like, Oh, no, that'll make you anxious.

00:20:07.140 No, that'll make you too calm.

00:20:08.380 And he's like, I like both.

00:20:09.760 I want fucking anxiety and calm.

00:20:11.460 If you're listening to some podcast, it's just a bunch of like women just shrieking.

00:20:16.700 Oh, that might actually be like, how would that not be the worst?

00:20:19.580 I've never heard one of those.

00:20:21.400 No, there's the one that was, it was, it was, it was pretty big.

00:20:25.000 It was, uh, guys we fucked the guys.

00:20:26.680 We, uh, fuck podcast.

00:20:27.580 Yeah, but they broke up.

00:20:28.460 Did they not?

00:20:29.420 Yeah, they did.

00:20:29.980 They did.

00:20:30.220 Yeah, they did.

00:20:30.760 But yeah, they fucking did Cole.

00:20:32.580 Cause no one wants to hear bitches talking about shit.

00:20:36.320 I actually, I mean, maybe one bitch, but multiple bitches.

00:20:39.300 I want to ask a question cause George, so the reason I got the name Top Lobster is because

00:20:43.760 of Jordan Peterson.

00:20:45.780 Has he always been this bullshit?

00:20:47.940 This is like an autism off.

00:20:49.640 Like who can be more autistic?

00:20:51.360 Can you just play like, I'm going to play this for a second.

00:20:53.620 I, and I just want to see if this makes sense to anybody.

00:20:56.520 I like to imagine the first five minutes.

00:20:58.840 Oh, nevermind.

00:20:59.640 I'd like to imagine the first five minutes were just them staring at each other, waiting

00:21:02.160 for one to start.

00:21:03.180 Just raw dog in the interview.

00:21:04.360 Just raw dog in the interview.

00:21:05.800 They just look at each other.

00:21:07.560 Dude, they raw dog the intro.

00:21:09.300 That's yeah.

00:21:10.000 We should raw dog the intro next week.

00:21:11.660 We should raw dog the whole podcast.

00:21:13.100 Do you remember?

00:21:14.100 It's not the same if it's not live and I'm one-on-one.

00:21:16.600 Dude, let's see.

00:21:17.200 Let's see how long we can raw dog.

00:21:18.860 Do you remember?

00:21:19.580 I would die.

00:21:20.200 Starting now.

00:21:20.680 Josh.

00:21:27.760 All right.

00:21:28.100 We can't do this.

00:21:30.760 I mean, I can do it, but I'm realizing as I'm doing it, I'm like, this is the worst

00:21:35.320 content ever.

00:21:35.920 Cause we're going to get locked in at a certain point.

00:21:37.580 It's just going to be silence.

00:21:38.540 We were like, I looked at, I looked at Cole's face and Cole was like about it.

00:21:42.260 I was like, I guess we're doing this.

00:21:44.660 That's why I pulled the, pulled the cord.

00:21:46.900 I was like, no, I know we'll keep going.

00:21:49.340 You guys remember that tower game where they raw dog, bro?

00:21:52.140 I raw dog, a podcast of people raw dog.

00:21:54.620 We didn't even last 10 seconds.

00:21:56.140 That was, I literally just with the headphones in for an hour and a half with silence.

00:22:00.180 Jose really likes condoms.

00:22:01.440 Cause that's what I got to say about that.

00:22:03.220 I expected Cole to raw dog his workout.

00:22:05.260 So, because he wants to work out to the sound of other men working out and sweating and

00:22:10.180 groaning.

00:22:10.540 Back to the show.

00:22:11.580 Wait, is this, how did we even get to, that was hilarious.

00:22:14.520 Okay.

00:22:14.740 Here we go.

00:22:15.160 Wait up.

00:22:15.580 Okay.

00:22:15.860 Well, the sacred image of masculinity in the West is a crucifixion, but a man who's crucified,

00:22:21.460 but the sacred image of a woman, isn't a woman.

00:22:23.660 The sacred image of a woman is a woman and an infant, right?

00:22:26.840 It's a dyad and not a monad.

00:22:29.080 Okay.

00:22:30.480 What the fuck is this guy babbling about?

00:22:33.900 Elon Musk is like, the logical answer is just to tell him sure.

00:22:36.540 And maybe he'll, maybe he'll shut the fuck up.

00:22:39.880 The craziest shit about this clip though, is that it goes viral and it's like 50% of the

00:22:45.280 people, I'm not going to fucking bore you with the rest of it.

00:22:47.540 50% of the people are like profound.

00:22:50.300 Yeah.

00:22:51.020 It's mostly just psychobabble.

00:22:52.740 It's most of what he does.

00:22:54.060 But the other half is like, what the fuck?

00:22:55.760 And you're like, oh my God.

00:22:56.280 What did you just say?

00:22:57.300 And there's no in-between.

00:22:59.000 I know big words.

00:23:00.200 I think, I think I'm the in-between where I was like, I was like, he says, he says,

00:23:04.120 I'm playing with this idea is how he starts it.

00:23:06.380 And I'm like, you're playing with the most.

00:23:08.000 I'm playing with this idea.

00:23:09.920 You're a fucking crazy person.

00:23:11.600 You're playing with the most obvious idea ever that like there used to be these,

00:23:15.280 these kind of, uh, you know, iconography for what would make a man or make a woman.

00:23:20.220 And that we have fallen away from that, that you've been playing with this idea.

00:23:23.780 Like we haven't, I don't know.

00:23:25.280 It just, it just, it felt like it was really start to consider it.

00:23:27.900 I believe on the first, perhaps we're being lied to.

00:23:30.960 No, but the better one is the, is the one that it's like gone viral before, but it's

00:23:34.880 like, uh, when you, when you say something happened that begs the question of what, like,

00:23:39.340 what reality is, is that, I can't remember exactly what he said.

00:23:41.880 Do you remember when he was, do you remember when he was asked to be believed in God?

00:23:45.600 Like, I remember cause I was like, I was really big into like the atheist stuff at the time.

00:23:48.660 What do you mean by God?

00:23:50.520 What do you mean by believe?

00:23:52.160 It was like the atheists were all like, see, yeah, he's an atheist.

00:23:54.580 And all the Christians at that time, cause they're all sucking his dick.

00:23:56.560 We're like, see, he's religious.

00:23:57.720 What do you mean by God?

00:23:59.220 Dude, he'll, he'll say that man, woman shit.

00:24:01.160 And then he'll turn around and be like, hanging out with Blair White, like a minute later.

00:24:04.640 You know, here's the thing.

00:24:05.700 Blair White.

00:24:06.220 Here's the thing.

00:24:06.780 I really do it.

00:24:08.060 Regardless of how fucking whack he's been over the past couple of years since lockdowns,

00:24:11.860 basically.

00:24:12.300 I love Jordan Peterson.

00:24:13.700 And I do think that there's a lot of, a lot of what he has to say that is actually really

00:24:17.020 important and profound.

00:24:18.100 However, he is just so, he is like, he is not, he's not sniffing his fart.

00:24:23.960 He's farting into a bag and then he's huffing it.

00:24:26.640 He's just like, I've been playing with this idea.

00:24:28.940 It's like a dyad versus a monad.

00:24:31.580 It's like, you're just throwing words here, dude.

00:24:33.660 There's not any value.

00:24:35.220 Clint, now just take a look at this motherfucker.

00:24:36.840 One more second of it.

00:24:37.800 Right, right.

00:24:38.760 Okay.

00:24:39.400 Look at this.

00:24:40.100 He's dressed like Bruce Buffer.

00:24:42.000 Okay.

00:24:42.680 I like that.

00:24:43.940 And then I began to question the quintessential essence of nature.

00:24:47.220 It makes no sense.

00:24:48.340 This is why I said I'm stepping away from Twitter probably for like a week in a day or so,

00:24:51.960 because everything.

00:24:52.640 Because of that clip?

00:24:54.760 Honestly, because of Jordan Peterson's jacket.

00:24:56.800 It has just broken.

00:24:58.980 It's much more dignified to do cocaine.

00:25:02.840 That didn't work.

00:25:04.020 That made no sense.

00:25:06.120 Listen, listen.

00:25:07.760 None of this shit makes any sense.

00:25:09.960 From this guy's jacket to all the way to the top of everything that's happened in the last week.

00:25:14.920 That's true.

00:25:15.280 And none of it's made any sense.

00:25:17.100 None of it's tracked.

00:25:18.340 I like his jacket.

00:25:19.660 I've been preparing with this idea, toying with the question as far as what exactly does

00:25:23.580 it mean to be prepared to rumble?

00:25:26.800 Oh, I get it.

00:25:29.180 I get it.

00:25:29.560 He's working off of the Bruce Buffer thing.

00:25:31.380 I get it now.

00:25:31.680 You, soad.

00:25:32.260 Fuck you.

00:25:32.960 All right.

00:25:33.260 I saw the angle at least.

00:25:35.120 I like it.

00:25:35.680 I like it.

00:25:36.320 The delivery could use the work.

00:25:36.500 I still think that begs the question of what does it mean to happen?

00:25:41.600 At its core, it's really who is we and are they ready to rumble?

00:25:47.440 Like, can you imagine if fucking Bill Clinton, when he got busted for banging Monica Lewinsky,

00:25:52.520 was instead Jordan Peterson?

00:25:54.200 Like, it's like he had to lawyer his way out of it, but in his own way.

00:25:56.800 He would say the same shit.

00:25:57.560 He'd be like, it's...

00:25:59.100 Well, what does it mean to say at?

00:26:00.780 What's the definition of is, is.

00:26:04.560 It wasn't like part of the big argument, like at one point, is he got tied up on like the

00:26:08.420 definition of at or the is or something like that.

00:26:10.840 Yeah.

00:26:11.300 Yeah.

00:26:12.000 And just got, he got like really pensive and instead of raising his daughter, he thought

00:26:16.040 about these small words and then his daughter turned out to be a fucking whore too.

00:26:19.700 Don't get me started on this family, guys.

00:26:21.660 I'm deeply upset by them.

00:26:22.240 Doesn't she look like, like one of the most beautiful trans people you've ever seen?

00:26:26.660 She does.

00:26:27.620 She looks like me if I got fucking, like kind of look, like big, kind of big weird neck.

00:26:33.720 Like if I got more, a little bit more feminine and long hair.

00:26:36.180 She does have a thick neck, right?

00:26:37.880 Kept the chin.

00:26:38.580 Clint, have you ever been around her?

00:26:40.360 I feel like she's been around at some places you've been.

00:26:42.680 Have you not?

00:26:43.820 No.

00:26:44.480 Does she smell like Jim, dude?

00:26:45.820 And had I, I will not be telling you.

00:26:49.480 I'm just kidding.

00:26:50.240 I have never been around her.

00:26:50.960 I feel like she has like a bit of dude musk.

00:26:53.180 You know what I mean?

00:26:55.080 She's got an oeuvre of a man.

00:26:57.420 You know what?

00:26:58.100 But I don't think she keeps it hairy.

00:26:59.700 I'm just going to put that out.

00:27:00.260 I don't think she keeps it hairy though.

00:27:01.300 I don't think she does.

00:27:02.020 No.

00:27:02.840 She probably waxes her dung.

00:27:07.120 Yeah, she's manscaping.

00:27:09.280 So anyway, she looks like, she looks like she's got a muscular pussy.

00:27:12.520 Sorry.

00:27:13.400 Oh, yeah.

00:27:14.940 That doesn't sound like a negative.

00:27:16.000 It's veiny.

00:27:16.280 Like a China pussy.

00:27:17.500 It's veiny.

00:27:18.300 No, that sounds like a negative.

00:27:19.280 Yeah, it's veiny.

00:27:20.280 Muscular.

00:27:20.960 And like, has striations in it.

00:27:23.660 She'd probably be a dope lay.

00:27:25.620 But like, so would I if you made me a chick and like, made me like, you know, like.

00:27:29.680 This guy thinks he's got the best pussy.

00:27:32.120 Listen, if you want to keep your pussy.

00:27:33.520 Oh, I got that shit.

00:27:34.680 If you want to keep your man pussy as clean as Chelsea Clinton's, you should do so with

00:27:40.600 Nadeau razors.

00:27:41.720 Shut up.

00:27:42.000 Shut up.

00:27:42.600 Shut up.

00:27:43.000 She seems like she would be a dope lay, but so would I.

00:27:46.880 Jose would definitely during sex be like, oh, you like that pussy, don't you?

00:27:50.340 Like, you would be saying shit like that.

00:27:52.660 Just slam in the air.

00:27:53.460 I'm like, wow, this woman goes.

00:27:55.000 If women have that capacity to clinch.

00:27:57.960 I don't understand why more women don't just try and rip your dick off.

00:28:00.680 Like, that'd be.

00:28:01.320 I would do that all the time.

00:28:02.440 Oh, yeah.

00:28:02.840 That's I would be constantly threatening.

00:28:04.580 I constantly threaten to rip your dick off.

00:28:06.000 I'd be like, oh, you like that?

00:28:07.080 Well, I do like that.

00:28:08.580 Or does it hurt?

00:28:08.960 I've heard, like, I've seen, like, black guys talk about this where, like, girls, it

00:28:13.960 feels like there's a hand in there, like, grabbing it, which is crazy to me.

00:28:18.160 I don't think we have the circumference to even relate to them on that level.

00:28:20.220 I don't think we do either.

00:28:20.880 I think it's the thing where the body is actually trying to expel it out.

00:28:24.680 They're like, this is too big to be in here.

00:28:26.200 Even with an average dick, though, if you get a chick that can do that, it's like, whoa.

00:28:29.880 Like, if they got good control, they probably can make you nut in seconds if they want

00:28:32.640 to be an asshole.

00:28:33.680 Average, like, you know, like three inches average?

00:28:36.280 I don't want to see this.

00:28:38.960 Can you shove it in my guts?

00:28:40.660 Can I put it in my throat?

00:28:42.180 Oh, my God.

00:28:43.780 This is awful.

00:28:46.960 Clint's like, hell yeah.

00:28:48.840 I hate this.

00:28:57.120 Sucking nigga salt.

00:29:00.360 Hold on.

00:29:00.980 How does this make you feel, Clint?

00:29:02.340 For real?

00:29:03.060 Like, you like this shit?

00:29:04.000 Because...

00:29:04.680 It just makes me sad there wasn't a father around.

00:29:06.900 That's all that does.

00:29:08.960 Her dad, her dad.

00:29:10.500 When he hears that in San Quentin, he's going to be super disappointed.

00:29:14.160 But I made that joke on Best Political Show.

00:29:17.300 We already played it on Best Political Show, so this is why I immediately liked it as opposed

00:29:22.300 to, like, thinking about the socioeconomic consequences of this.

00:29:27.640 I just don't care.

00:29:28.760 Let me hear...

00:29:29.260 I want to hear Luke's jokes.

00:29:30.900 Luke, what was the worst joke?

00:29:32.760 Because I know sometimes you're looking at Luke.

00:29:34.720 He went the angle that y'all went, where it's like, oh, there's no father there, and this

00:29:39.320 is all...

00:29:39.780 You know, this is decay, satanic influence on our music scene.

00:29:42.680 And I'm just like...

00:29:43.140 No, it's not what I'm doing.

00:29:43.560 I'm just like, it's just funny.

00:29:45.400 I didn't say that.

00:29:46.140 When I saw this, I was like, this bitch is a hoe.

00:29:47.580 I know exactly who this bitch is.

00:29:48.800 It's disgusting.

00:29:50.060 Yeah, it's gross.

00:29:51.120 And she's been fucking since she's 13.

00:29:53.380 Yeah.

00:29:53.800 Her pussy smells like Cheetos.

00:29:56.800 Imagine what it looks like.

00:29:58.920 It's probably like...

00:29:59.920 It's just like black Cheetos.

00:30:02.580 She got that dip them in chocolate.

00:30:04.360 Cheesy powder pussy.

00:30:05.900 We can make a song called Cheesy Powder Pussy.

00:30:08.220 Cheesy Powder Pussy actually kind of goes kind of hard.

00:30:10.800 So do you think...

00:30:11.780 She's got one of those roast beef pussies, you know?

00:30:14.280 I'm assuming you watch the Biden thing.

00:30:16.320 Do you think it's AI?

00:30:18.300 Which...

00:30:18.900 Oh, no, the one from tonight?

00:30:19.980 No, I was playing video games.

00:30:21.400 Did not watch it.

00:30:22.080 College football?

00:30:23.340 No.

00:30:23.680 I'm telling you.

00:30:24.420 That shit is...

00:30:25.120 Top, you watch it.

00:30:25.900 That shit's on Candy Valley.

00:30:27.460 I immediately was like, this dude's fucking AI.

00:30:30.140 It looks like a...

00:30:31.040 Play us a minute.

00:30:31.720 It doesn't look like an AI.

00:30:32.860 It looks like a guy that's trained to do Biden and he does him perfect.

00:30:37.400 Yeah.

00:30:37.600 Like he does...

00:30:38.220 His chin is fucked up.

00:30:39.040 Like too well?

00:30:39.520 It would be AI.

00:30:40.080 Like too well?

00:30:40.920 Like too well.

00:30:42.020 Like too well.

00:30:42.520 Like even Biden doesn't play himself as good.

00:30:44.020 There are minor mannerisms too that you're like are off.

00:30:46.140 Like almost as if it's an AI thing.

00:30:47.360 Hasn't that been the same?

00:30:48.140 Hasn't that been the...

00:30:49.240 Like the kind of status quo for like five years now where he hasn't looked the same?

00:30:54.860 Like as like you go back and look at like...

00:30:56.520 Something about this was very off to me.

00:30:58.800 Especially if you've watched a lot of his speeches and you're like, I don't know.

00:31:02.120 And I don't know what people are like, oh, he's just reading teleprompter.

00:31:03.840 But he delivered it, his lines so well but yet so bad in his distinct way.

00:31:08.020 Like it was...

00:31:08.400 Was it worse than the...

00:31:12.280 My fellow...

00:31:13.280 You're not...

00:31:14.120 My life...

00:31:15.740 To serve this nation for over 50 years.

00:31:18.640 Nowhere else on earth could a kid with a stutter...

00:31:23.120 A modest beginning of this grand Pennsylvania claim on Delaware.

00:31:26.900 I think it's real.

00:31:28.340 I just don't think it's him.

00:31:29.580 In the Oval Office of the United States.

00:31:32.620 You think he's dead, don't you?

00:31:34.060 Yeah.

00:31:34.340 Something's off.

00:31:34.900 Whether it's AI or a fake or...

00:31:37.200 We're a nation of promise and possibilities.

00:31:40.360 Of dreamers and doers.

00:31:42.080 Or he's literally on death's door while doing this.

00:31:44.720 Isn't he just like super gay?

00:31:47.140 I give my heart and my soul to our nation.

00:31:49.600 Like an old...

00:31:50.120 Like an old gay guy?

00:31:51.720 I really like Joe Biden.

00:31:53.100 I seriously do.

00:31:54.620 Like I don't have any ill will towards this guy.

00:31:56.900 No, no, no, no.

00:31:57.700 Seriously, if I was to hang out with it...

00:31:59.220 Okay, so if I was...

00:32:00.200 God, it's hard because the last three...

00:32:02.140 It would be a fun hang, dude.

00:32:03.340 No, that's what I'm saying.

00:32:04.080 If the last three would all be fun hangs...

00:32:06.300 I don't know.

00:32:06.540 Maybe not Trump.

00:32:07.180 Trump might not be a fun hang because it would feel like it would be way too...

00:32:11.000 Overbearing and annoying.

00:32:12.480 You're like wanting to take all the spotlight.

00:32:13.860 You're like, dude, come on.

00:32:14.520 I bet I think like Obama would be a fun hang just because he's a black dude.

00:32:19.660 Dude, I shit you not, if you hung out with him, just you and him alone, you would fucking suck his dick, Cole.

00:32:27.880 Top five songs of all time.

00:32:30.840 No, Obama.

00:32:32.580 Oh, I have...

00:32:34.080 He looks really old in this video, by the way.

00:32:37.400 It's pale.

00:32:38.520 So this is stuff that wouldn't have happened...

00:32:40.260 He literally puts on classical.

00:32:41.780 Yo, that's AI as fuck.

00:32:43.180 It's too old for you.

00:32:44.320 No, this is real.

00:32:44.900 I will tell you.

00:32:45.600 What's your favorite?

00:32:46.660 Frank Sinatra, right?

00:32:47.420 That's clearly real.

00:32:47.980 I have a lot of Frank Sinatra.

00:32:49.740 Yeah.

00:32:50.100 We'll play this when we're finished, breaking this record, if that ever happens.

00:32:53.960 Oh my God.

00:32:54.820 See, he's like bragging about his...

00:32:56.440 He's like bragging about his playlist.

00:32:57.680 He's retarded.

00:32:58.380 He's retarded.

00:32:59.460 He's retarded.

00:33:00.100 Nice and retarded.

00:33:00.720 See?

00:33:01.040 He misses our language.

00:33:02.040 What's up, retards?

00:33:03.500 Hell yeah.

00:33:06.860 Why am I hearing the intro?

00:33:08.620 What's happening?

00:33:09.020 Because he...

00:33:09.420 That's the joke.

00:33:10.580 That's like that was the music.

00:33:11.720 Trump was playing the podcast.

00:33:13.800 I see...

00:33:14.460 Oh, cool!

00:33:15.840 Honestly, you go back...

00:33:17.260 You go all the way back to Clinton.

00:33:18.620 I think those might be like in the top ten of people I would want to hang out with as president.

00:33:24.300 All the way back to like...

00:33:24.920 Because George Bush would be a fun...

00:33:26.540 I don't know.

00:33:26.640 George Bush would be fun.

00:33:27.500 I feel like Clint...

00:33:28.140 Or fucking...

00:33:28.820 W. Bush would be fun.

00:33:29.740 Clinton would be dark energy.

00:33:31.100 I don't know.

00:33:32.120 That dude is...

00:33:33.580 I don't know.

00:33:33.920 At least he wouldn't try to fuck you.

00:33:36.320 I don't know.

00:33:36.880 Obama would fuck Cole to death.

00:33:39.000 I think you'd want to hang out...

00:33:41.040 It's too narrow.

00:33:41.940 You'd want to hang out with all the bad presidents.

00:33:44.460 The ones that kind of were not so great.

00:33:46.280 Yeah, the last five.

00:33:47.780 Yeah.

00:33:48.560 Yeah.

00:33:48.860 The ones that were shady.

00:33:49.940 That's the one you want to hang out with.

00:33:51.260 The ones that were trying to do good aboard.

00:33:52.740 I feel like I could get Trump to tell me,

00:33:54.920 like all of the secrets he knows.

00:33:57.100 No.

00:33:57.300 I don't think he can.

00:33:57.660 I feel like the rest of them

00:33:58.680 would just be like joking about it and shit.

00:34:00.360 But Trump would be like...

00:34:01.680 Yo, for real?

00:34:03.360 Aliens.

00:34:03.900 Fake.

00:34:04.040 And then the last...

00:34:04.880 The one after that would be like...

00:34:06.560 Bush would be the best.

00:34:07.200 Theodore Roosevelt.

00:34:07.880 Bush would be the best.

00:34:08.180 Like Teddy Roosevelt.

00:34:09.120 Going all the way back.

00:34:10.420 Would be...

00:34:10.880 Bush would probably be...

00:34:12.500 To me it might go Bush.

00:34:15.160 Yeah.

00:34:15.560 Clinton.

00:34:16.480 Because Bush is like an innocent...

00:34:18.680 Yes.

00:34:20.280 It's an innocent fun.

00:34:21.700 Whereas like...

00:34:22.380 I mean don't get me wrong.

00:34:23.040 He did a lot of evil shit.

00:34:23.820 But I think it was mostly just because

00:34:24.840 he kind of was retarded

00:34:25.840 and let other people run his life

00:34:27.120 because he came from Bush.

00:34:27.840 That was the ruse.

00:34:29.460 You fell for it.

00:34:30.120 No.

00:34:30.400 Dick Cheney.

00:34:30.800 Bush seems like hanging out

00:34:31.320 with the Downs kid.

00:34:32.220 He just seems too retarded.

00:34:33.400 I don't know.

00:34:33.980 I just...

00:34:34.400 I really do think it was kind of like

00:34:35.640 well this is what Dad said

00:34:36.500 I got to do.

00:34:37.400 So let's go do it.

00:34:37.760 Cole's the type of dude

00:34:38.460 to like be talking with the influencer

00:34:40.140 at 13 and then get invited

00:34:41.700 to one of his video sets

00:34:42.940 and then something happened.

00:34:44.340 I feel like that would be you, Cole.

00:34:46.520 Yeah.

00:34:46.900 Were you a fan of Mr. Beast

00:34:48.140 back in the day by chance?

00:34:49.200 I was never a fan of Mr. Beast.

00:34:50.340 I've always actively not liked Mr. Beast.

00:34:53.980 What do you do with your free time?

00:34:55.720 Because if you don't watch Mr. Beast

00:34:56.840 and you don't watch WWE

00:34:57.960 I don't know what else you could be doing.

00:34:59.700 Do you watch Mr. Beast?

00:35:00.620 Who watches Mr. Beast?

00:35:02.840 Apparently a hundred million people do.

00:35:05.340 Yeah.

00:35:06.060 Yeah.

00:35:06.620 What is it?

00:35:07.240 Let's go.

00:35:08.200 Some of the...

00:35:09.200 This video is fucking crazy.

00:35:11.500 Watch.

00:35:11.800 Okay.

00:35:12.380 That was Obama.

00:35:13.420 It's like they wanted to be raped, you see?

00:35:16.660 She also claims to, you see,

00:35:18.200 no more crying like...

00:35:18.800 It's like she's enjoying it, you see?

00:35:20.400 Even though she isn't,

00:35:21.600 but it's like she's enjoying it.

00:35:23.820 Do you think it's right?

00:35:24.900 Do you think it's right to rape?

00:35:27.000 Yeah, it's wrong.

00:35:28.720 Yeah, it's wrong.

00:35:29.540 What about the consequences

00:35:30.540 of what you're doing in terms of how that affects

00:35:32.740 the person that's raped?

00:35:34.620 Yeah, the consequences,

00:35:35.980 we look at that all the time, you know?

00:35:37.400 Because it happens,

00:35:38.520 she might scream, you know?

00:35:40.060 People might wake up.

00:35:41.120 Jesus Christ!

00:35:41.840 A lot of people.

00:35:42.560 Back it up!

00:35:43.060 I'm not just talking,

00:35:43.880 but I'm talking...

00:35:44.920 I actually want to start it all over

00:35:47.260 because it took me a while

00:35:48.120 to understand these people.

00:35:49.360 Yo, yo, yo, y'all got to listen.

00:35:50.580 This is one of the funniest videos

00:35:51.980 I've ever seen.

00:35:52.680 It's only a minute.

00:35:53.860 Is this real?

00:35:55.180 Yeah, this is 100% real, yeah.

00:35:56.400 This is just...

00:35:57.000 I've seen this before.

00:35:57.860 This is crazy.

00:35:59.160 Some of them, they know screaming.

00:36:00.600 It's like they wanted to be raped, you see?

00:36:03.660 She also grabs you.

00:36:05.300 She's enjoying...

00:36:06.420 I want to start by pointing out,

00:36:09.000 he says some of them.

00:36:11.200 Which means he rapes

00:36:12.440 on the regular.

00:36:13.680 All right, go ahead.

00:36:15.080 Every now and then,

00:36:15.940 they're into it.

00:36:17.500 I love his eyes, too.

00:36:19.400 Even though she isn't,

00:36:20.520 but it's like she's enjoying it.

00:36:22.860 Even though black people...

00:36:24.160 He's right to rape?

00:36:25.940 Yeah, it's wrong.

00:36:27.660 Yeah, it's wrong.

00:36:28.480 What about the consequences of me?

00:36:29.060 Hold on one second.

00:36:29.720 Hold on.

00:36:30.180 Pause it.

00:36:30.940 Do you think black people

00:36:31.740 will see in yellow at night?

00:36:33.160 Because all their eyes

00:36:34.140 are always yellowish.

00:36:36.380 I want to show these guys...

00:36:39.020 Their night vision is super predator night vision.

00:36:42.640 They are super predators.

00:36:44.080 That's because they're all experiencing

00:36:45.440 a liver failure.

00:36:46.880 That's why.

00:36:47.220 I want to see these guys react

00:36:50.220 to the black lady we just showed,

00:36:51.840 the rap video we just showed,

00:36:52.860 because they would legitimately go like,

00:36:54.720 see?

00:36:55.080 We told you.

00:36:55.760 They love it.

00:36:56.400 They'd be raped.

00:36:57.520 Yeah.

00:36:58.460 Wrong.

00:36:59.120 Yeah, it's wrong.

00:36:59.940 What about the consequences

00:37:00.960 of what you're doing

00:37:01.680 in terms of how that affects right here?

00:37:04.000 They're not wrong about

00:37:04.800 the women want to be raped,

00:37:06.060 but it's in their black people's culture.

00:37:07.940 It's why I'm telling you,

00:37:09.080 growing up across the street

00:37:10.120 from the project store...

00:37:10.540 You are not going to tell me

00:37:11.540 that black women want to be raped.

00:37:14.200 Top?

00:37:14.780 I can't even remember your name.

00:37:16.100 I'm so thrown off by you saying that.

00:37:18.160 I'm living right now.

00:37:19.200 How could you say that?

00:37:20.400 It's the fucking truth.

00:37:21.700 Listen, my parents had townhouses.

00:37:25.880 They owned a townhouse

00:37:27.080 right across the street

00:37:27.800 from three project buildings.

00:37:29.120 It was a complex.

00:37:30.140 So I'd look out the window

00:37:31.640 or just chill outside,

00:37:32.980 and I'm studying the behavior.

00:37:35.460 And straight up,

00:37:36.220 these people are fucking...

00:37:37.340 This sounds like the meme

00:37:40.720 of Alex Jones

00:37:41.380 of the ducks in the park are free.

00:37:43.320 It's like...

00:37:44.020 I just imagine Top

00:37:44.680 looking through the thing

00:37:47.160 going,

00:37:47.720 those bitches want to be raped.

00:37:49.220 They're going to be raped right now.

00:37:50.720 It's the ducks in the park are...

00:37:52.160 Just like,

00:37:52.640 oh man,

00:37:53.020 they want it so bad right now.

00:37:55.240 They just wish I'd rape them.

00:37:57.500 No, no.

00:37:57.840 The black women,

00:37:58.540 they want to be raped,

00:38:00.400 but once they start,

00:38:01.380 then they're just fucking.

00:38:02.580 I swear to God,

00:38:03.600 it's that wild out there.

00:38:04.680 This is the craziest thing

00:38:05.980 you've ever said.

00:38:06.640 You've said crazy.

00:38:07.140 It's literally the Alex Jones...

00:38:08.380 No.

00:38:09.220 It's literally the Alex Jones

00:38:10.400 the ducks in the park are free meme

00:38:11.800 of like,

00:38:12.180 it's like the black people,

00:38:13.680 you can,

00:38:14.180 the black women,

00:38:14.740 you can rape them for free.

00:38:15.560 I've raped 37 black women today.

00:38:17.680 Their bodies are in the river.

00:38:18.960 It's free.

00:38:20.560 It's totally legal.

00:38:22.400 The black street pussy's free.

00:38:24.120 It's free.

00:38:24.760 It's illegal.

00:38:25.680 Keep playing this.

00:38:26.380 This is a crazy video.

00:38:27.660 Exactly.

00:38:28.180 The person that's raped.

00:38:29.060 Yeah,

00:38:29.460 the consequences,

00:38:30.440 we look at that all the time,

00:38:31.640 you know,

00:38:31.840 because it happens,

00:38:32.980 she might scream,

00:38:34.040 you know,

00:38:34.500 people might wake up.

00:38:35.560 His eyes.

00:38:36.140 A lot of people.

00:38:36.940 I'm not just talking about it,

00:38:38.460 I'm talking about the emotional effect,

00:38:40.540 the physical effect it has on her girl.

00:38:41.880 Yeah,

00:38:41.900 yeah,

00:38:42.100 yeah.

00:38:42.180 It gets better.

00:38:42.800 Watch.

00:38:43.360 Sometimes we know that we might rape her

00:38:46.920 and wake up tomorrow with viruses ourselves,

00:38:49.980 like HIV,

00:38:50.880 you know.

00:38:51.420 It's all about him.

00:38:53.460 Pause it,

00:38:54.040 pause it.

00:38:54.300 They said,

00:38:54.740 we might rape her

00:38:55.880 and then the next morning we wake up

00:38:57.260 and we have viruses ourselves.

00:38:58.900 So they're literally just like,

00:38:59.820 this bitch gave me a piece.

00:39:01.660 But he's literally talking about the consequences,

00:39:02.720 like what the damage it does to the victim

00:39:04.700 and all they're talking about

00:39:06.180 is what it might do to them.

00:39:07.460 It's fucking incredible.

00:39:08.180 Imagine,

00:39:08.240 no.

00:39:08.600 What if,

00:39:09.120 what if you raped,

00:39:10.040 let me rape her.

00:39:10.880 What if you raped the girl

00:39:12.160 and she gave you AIDS?

00:39:14.680 Would you have a right to like sue her?

00:39:17.320 You should be able to.

00:39:17.960 No.

00:39:18.700 Yes.

00:39:19.180 Like press charges.

00:39:19.900 I'm pressing charges on her.

00:39:21.280 As far as I'm concerned,

00:39:22.100 if I'm the judge,

00:39:22.920 open and shut case.

00:39:23.760 She's guilty.

00:39:24.680 She's guilty.

00:39:25.100 Guilty.

00:39:25.480 You need to,

00:39:26.520 you need to.

00:39:27.140 What was she wearing again?

00:39:29.160 Listen,

00:39:29.700 listen,

00:39:30.140 I don't care what happens.

00:39:31.180 She didn't tell you this before you raped her?

00:39:32.540 Exactly.

00:39:33.980 You have a duty to say,

00:39:35.700 man.

00:39:35.720 She's legally liable.

00:39:36.820 She's legal liable

00:39:37.500 that she should tell you in mid-rape,

00:39:38.900 she goes,

00:39:39.500 I have AIDS.

00:39:41.860 Something like that.

00:39:43.040 If I was getting raped,

00:39:44.200 that's the first thing I'd be like,

00:39:45.240 I have AIDS,

00:39:45.680 I have AIDS,

00:39:46.080 I have AIDS,

00:39:46.460 I have AIDS.

00:39:46.720 Oh yeah.

00:39:47.180 That's smart actually.

00:39:49.240 Look at this,

00:39:49.780 how stupid these bitches are.

00:39:51.020 You're getting raped out there.

00:39:51.860 It's so easy.

00:39:52.920 There's four letters.

00:39:53.500 I can just imagine

00:39:54.220 because it's in Africa.

00:39:56.360 I imagine people screaming,

00:39:57.420 I have AIDS,

00:39:57.960 and then the African guy

00:39:58.940 turns around and he goes,

00:40:00.080 so do I.

00:40:00.880 Oh damn,

00:40:01.440 I was about to make that joke.

00:40:03.320 I'll say it is Africa.

00:40:04.480 So they'd just be like,

00:40:05.180 I do too.

00:40:05.900 Shut up,

00:40:06.260 bitch.

00:40:06.920 Why did you both do AIDS vampire?

00:40:09.580 Dude,

00:40:09.840 I have AIDS as the best.

00:40:11.460 AIDS vampire is Africa,

00:40:13.080 by the way.

00:40:13.840 That's just.

00:40:15.960 One,

00:40:16.420 two,

00:40:17.340 three.

00:40:18.840 Finish.

00:40:20.300 I also do regret about it

00:40:21.840 because if she fell pregnant,

00:40:24.420 what will be that baby's father?

00:40:26.360 Who will be that baby's father?

00:40:28.120 What about her personal feelings?

00:40:34.540 They never even considered it.

00:40:36.520 They never considered it.

00:40:37.720 It's fucking crazy.

00:40:39.500 It's literally the argument of,

00:40:41.260 it's not.

00:40:41.780 I don't know who the father is

00:40:42.700 because they all fuck you.

00:40:43.140 Is he worried about father's rights

00:40:45.440 as,

00:40:46.320 from,

00:40:46.600 from rape?

00:40:47.780 Is that,

00:40:48.180 that's a fucking beast.

00:40:49.800 He's like,

00:40:50.100 I need to know if I'm the father

00:40:51.360 so I can leave that kid.

00:40:52.680 Yeah,

00:40:53.000 exactly.

00:40:55.600 No,

00:40:56.140 seriously.

00:40:56.860 I don't know.

00:40:58.000 That video is just unbelievable.

00:40:59.440 It's literally,

00:40:59.900 the argument came down to,

00:41:01.220 the argument came down to,

00:41:02.740 it's like,

00:41:03.060 it's not rape if they like it.

00:41:04.720 That's literally what they were saying.

00:41:06.060 The mind fuck of that though,

00:41:08.980 that like,

00:41:09.740 there might be,

00:41:10.760 I might be bringing another life

00:41:12.120 into this world

00:41:12.780 and that life will,

00:41:14.040 might be like,

00:41:14.740 abused by this woman later.

00:41:16.700 That's what he's thinking about.

00:41:18.380 Not about like,

00:41:19.320 what,

00:41:19.560 That's a good father by the way.

00:41:20.600 I think,

00:41:20.760 I think the most remarkable part

00:41:22.220 about that entire minute long video

00:41:23.500 is that,

00:41:24.520 no matter what,

00:41:25.540 even under direct inquiry,

00:41:26.960 even on multiple follow-ups,

00:41:28.600 they will never consider

00:41:30.200 the feelings of the woman.

00:41:31.840 Never,

00:41:32.600 ever,

00:41:33.080 ever.

00:41:33.340 They don't think about them

00:41:34.480 at all.

00:41:35.200 Like an extension of that,

00:41:36.520 like,

00:41:36.680 what would you,

00:41:37.280 how would you feel

00:41:37.760 if you didn't eat breakfast type thing?

00:41:38.800 Yes.

00:41:39.020 Like they can't even like,

00:41:39.980 comprehend how the woman would feel.

00:41:42.180 They're like,

00:41:42.640 they're like,

00:41:42.860 what about,

00:41:43.960 what about the damage it does

00:41:45.120 to the psyche of the woman?

00:41:46.560 The who?

00:41:47.660 I don't get it.

00:41:48.900 That's just the whole.

00:41:50.360 Are we talking about the same whole?

00:41:51.580 I don't think that's a,

00:41:52.600 by the way,

00:41:52.920 I don't think that's a problem

00:41:54.040 with them thinking less of the woman.

00:41:55.900 I think that's them not understanding

00:41:57.320 that they have a psyche.

00:41:59.640 Like they don't,

00:42:00.300 they're not thinking.

00:42:01.220 No,

00:42:01.300 Cole's right.

00:42:01.880 So they're,

00:42:02.040 they're acting on the same.

00:42:02.940 That's right.

00:42:03.660 They can't comprehend the concept

00:42:05.880 of other people's feelings.

00:42:07.840 I don't think they even have

00:42:09.140 a psychological psyche themselves.

00:42:11.420 They're acting on like the level

00:42:12.980 of like a gorilla basically

00:42:14.240 where they actually don't even have

00:42:15.500 this like moral code.

00:42:16.760 They're like,

00:42:17.220 I don't know if guys,

00:42:18.060 have you seen this video?

00:42:19.060 Because this video here explains it.

00:42:21.700 This explains what we're talking about.

00:42:23.500 No,

00:42:23.720 this is great.

00:42:24.660 How would you feel

00:42:25.260 if you didn't rape this morning?

00:42:26.760 That is a perfect example.

00:42:28.020 But I did rape this morning.

00:42:32.340 Oh my God.

00:42:33.180 We need to start tagging that

00:42:34.220 below like politicians

00:42:35.160 on some random shit.

00:42:36.320 He was like,

00:42:36.720 what?

00:42:38.940 Look at this,

00:42:39.520 look at this.

00:42:40.140 Beethoven played what instrument?

00:42:42.100 Piano.

00:42:44.860 They raise the bar every time.

00:42:46.780 Red.

00:42:50.060 What language has these letters?

00:42:52.100 Alpha,

00:42:52.540 Omega,

00:42:53.040 Delta.

00:42:53.260 Greek.

00:42:54.540 Oh my God.

00:42:55.300 He's just beating the fucking shit up.

00:42:57.020 Oh my God.

00:42:59.100 What is the major religion

00:43:02.560 in South America?

00:43:03.160 So the black guy is supposed to be

00:43:03.340 answering to that?

00:43:03.940 Christianity.

00:43:04.560 Yeah,

00:43:04.820 yeah.

00:43:05.360 I bet you there's a twist here soon.

00:43:07.060 That's easy.

00:43:08.280 That was easy.

00:43:09.280 What was Tupac's first album?

00:43:10.520 What term means force per unit area?

00:43:13.120 It's kind of hard.

00:43:14.160 Pounds per square inch?

00:43:15.700 Yeah,

00:43:16.020 but that means what?

00:43:17.740 That represents...

00:43:19.660 I don't know.

00:43:20.440 Pressure?

00:43:21.140 Yeah.

00:43:21.680 Pressure.

00:43:22.160 Well,

00:43:24.000 it's super choppy top.

00:43:25.340 60% of people live in what continent?

00:43:28.000 Asia.

00:43:28.900 How are you just thinking this

00:43:29.860 off the top of your head?

00:43:32.540 How do y'all just know this shit?

00:43:34.180 Who's thinking this other name

00:43:34.340 for the collarbone?

00:43:36.000 Clavicle.

00:43:36.420 Clavicle.

00:43:37.460 This thing is just jumping.

00:43:39.100 It's incredible.

00:43:40.620 What do you call the answer

00:43:41.680 to an addition problem?

00:43:43.620 Some.

00:43:45.660 Oh my God.

00:43:47.760 Who founded Ford Motors?

00:43:50.160 Henry Ford.

00:43:51.040 I'm in sudden death.

00:43:52.160 If I lose one,

00:43:53.000 I'm so cooked.

00:43:54.860 Oh my God.

00:43:56.680 He can still lose?

00:43:59.200 Yeah,

00:43:59.740 if he...

00:44:00.320 Louis Armstrong was a master

00:44:02.080 in what instance...

00:44:02.580 If he misses the next question,

00:44:04.000 he has to jump.

00:44:05.200 He can barely jump

00:44:06.680 over the first one.

00:44:07.640 Holy shit.

00:44:08.520 Trumpet.

00:44:09.180 I see.

00:44:11.080 That's it.

00:44:11.880 It's just like...

00:44:12.540 But there's the dynamic

00:44:13.540 of what we're talking about here,

00:44:16.460 like IQ differences.

00:44:17.880 Not one answer

00:44:18.820 did this black dude get.

00:44:19.960 I think it's kind of beautiful,

00:44:21.560 though,

00:44:21.800 because it highlights

00:44:22.760 the intellect of the white

00:44:24.780 and the incredible athleticism

00:44:26.180 of the black.

00:44:27.220 It's like college sports.

00:44:28.840 That's what this is.

00:44:29.560 I saw a sleeve

00:44:30.400 and sleeve master.

00:44:31.960 Encapsulated.

00:44:32.540 I see a quarterback

00:44:33.340 and a wide receiver.

00:44:34.480 That's what I see.

00:44:34.980 White people know shit

00:44:36.280 and black people jump.

00:44:37.480 That's it.

00:44:41.300 And I said jump, boy.

00:44:44.940 Holy shit.

00:44:46.700 White people know shit

00:44:48.100 and black people jump.

00:44:49.880 So maybe consider talking to me

00:44:51.740 about how high you should fucking jump.

00:44:53.560 I love it.

00:44:57.040 That video,

00:44:58.020 I mean,

00:44:58.460 the bar gets like comically higher

00:45:00.500 and every answer he doesn't get,

00:45:03.180 it's just like,

00:45:03.700 they're like,

00:45:04.220 no way you're jumping over that.

00:45:05.480 I love it.

00:45:07.120 That's basically what Toja said

00:45:09.120 is that whole thing of like,

00:45:10.340 don't judge a fish

00:45:12.700 on how well it can climb a tree.

00:45:14.180 It's like,

00:45:14.400 that's basically what Toja was just saying.

00:45:16.160 It was just like,

00:45:17.200 it was like,

00:45:17.760 this doesn't show,

00:45:18.880 this is just like,

00:45:19.680 the test for each one of these

00:45:20.940 is wrong.

00:45:21.400 Like the black person should be answering.

00:45:22.400 But see the thing is,

00:45:23.340 everybody looks at the height

00:45:25.900 of that jump

00:45:26.760 and they go,

00:45:27.780 oh,

00:45:27.940 the white guy could never do that

00:45:29.200 and everyone just accepts that.

00:45:30.460 There's nothing racist about it.

00:45:31.940 But then we also look at it

00:45:33.400 and we say,

00:45:33.960 well,

00:45:34.080 the black guy can't answer

00:45:35.060 any of these questions

00:45:36.020 and then you go,

00:45:37.540 well,

00:45:37.660 that's racist

00:45:38.260 as opposed to just going,

00:45:39.860 well,

00:45:40.040 he shouldn't be able to.

00:45:41.420 No.

00:45:42.680 What do you mean by that,

00:45:43.940 Clint?

00:45:45.280 That's not your role.

00:45:46.860 That's not why you're here.

00:45:47.700 What it is is like,

00:45:48.180 when you create a character

00:45:49.420 and they're like,

00:45:50.140 attributes of power

00:45:51.480 and strength,

00:45:52.340 100.

00:45:53.080 And then they're like,

00:45:53.720 intelligence,

00:45:54.400 like,

00:45:54.880 I don't have any points left.

00:45:55.920 I guess this guy's just going to jump high

00:45:57.240 and that's what black people are.

00:45:58.680 Oh,

00:45:58.920 they're different base characters.

00:46:00.260 Like,

00:46:00.340 they have different base stats

00:46:01.300 and they can build them up.

00:46:02.160 There's a guy that does this

00:46:03.140 on Instagram

00:46:05.440 or YouTube maybe,

00:46:06.560 but he does a,

00:46:07.860 like,

00:46:08.540 RPG stats

00:46:10.060 of different races.

00:46:11.660 So,

00:46:11.900 he'll go through all the races

00:46:13.220 and it's hilarious

00:46:14.000 because it'll be like,

00:46:14.740 Mexicans,

00:46:15.400 like,

00:46:15.840 work ethic,

00:46:16.820 like,

00:46:17.300 like 99.

00:46:18.500 Like,

00:46:18.700 it's like,

00:46:19.000 black speed,

00:46:20.660 99.

00:46:21.140 Now,

00:46:21.360 the other version of this

00:46:22.560 presented an interesting

00:46:23.900 moral quandary

00:46:25.160 where it was the same thing

00:46:26.400 where the white guy

00:46:26.980 has to ask these questions,

00:46:27.960 but if he gets any wrong,

00:46:30.020 then the black guy

00:46:31.120 has to rape a woman.

00:46:34.340 I don't like that.

00:46:36.160 I'm going to,

00:46:37.460 let's go to Mailbag.

00:46:39.680 Yeah,

00:46:40.300 let's see.

00:46:40.720 That was a,

00:46:41.320 what the fuck

00:46:41.940 are you talking about?

00:46:43.220 That was an amazing

00:46:43.920 45 minute open,

00:46:45.200 just like pure

00:46:46.120 fucking off the cuff riff.

00:46:47.380 I'm so proud of you guys.

00:46:48.580 Bob,

00:46:48.680 we need to go around

00:46:49.300 and say who you are.

00:46:50.300 We're back, baby.

00:46:50.760 We never did the intro.

00:46:52.000 We never intro'd everybody.

00:46:53.360 Cool.

00:46:54.600 We got Cole here.

00:46:56.760 You know who we are.

00:46:57.920 What's up,

00:46:58.360 I'm Jose.

00:46:59.900 Toad.

00:47:00.380 I'm top over here.

00:47:01.380 What's up, guys?

00:47:02.400 Clint, hi.

00:47:03.540 It could have,

00:47:04.180 it could have went either way,

00:47:05.640 right?

00:47:05.820 Because we haven't talked

00:47:06.580 in the group chat,

00:47:07.540 really.

00:47:08.080 We haven't been

00:47:08.720 really active in there.

00:47:10.060 I feel like

00:47:10.320 tensions have been high.

00:47:11.580 People have been

00:47:12.080 a little bit weird.

00:47:12.960 The whole Trump thing,

00:47:13.760 everyone's busy.

00:47:14.640 I've just been busy, man.

00:47:15.780 We don't know what's going on.

00:47:16.820 I've been really busy, too.

00:47:18.500 Everyone's busy.

00:47:19.240 I don't believe Cole.

00:47:20.200 College Football 25 came out.

00:47:21.580 I've been very busy.

00:47:22.820 Oh, we saw that picture.

00:47:23.860 I've been busy,

00:47:24.460 you know,

00:47:24.700 doing my duty,

00:47:25.500 answering questions.

00:47:26.600 A pipe busted in my kitchen,

00:47:27.920 so that's why it was fun.

00:47:28.600 What team do you play with, Cole?

00:47:30.920 In my dynasty

00:47:31.680 or just in general?

00:47:32.800 San Diego State.

00:47:33.000 I don't just answer

00:47:33.700 the fucking question.

00:47:34.140 In my dynasty,

00:47:34.980 I'm playing at San Diego State.

00:47:36.040 Okay, all right,

00:47:36.540 whatever.

00:47:36.940 Mailbag.

00:47:37.400 Mark Vestibule.

00:47:38.180 Mark Vestibule.

00:47:39.460 That's my school.

00:47:40.240 Can we do a lane edit?

00:47:40.780 I know,

00:47:41.100 they're good, too.

00:47:41.880 I actually want to do

00:47:42.540 a lane edit

00:47:43.320 because I feel like

00:47:44.020 we had a good riff.

00:47:45.800 We need to shift gears

00:47:47.080 and do a lane edit

00:47:48.100 and go to Mailbag.

00:47:48.560 Lane edit.

00:47:49.120 Yeah, let's fucking unwind

00:47:50.400 with a lane edit.

00:47:51.240 Dude, a lane edit

00:47:52.160 is literally like dropping,

00:47:53.620 like it's shifting down

00:47:55.160 and then like hitting

00:47:55.980 those revs high.

00:47:56.520 It gives me a pick-me-up

00:47:58.820 kind of.

00:47:59.080 Lane edit is like

00:47:59.900 hitting another bump of coke

00:48:01.000 before you go back

00:48:01.720 to the party,

00:48:02.300 so let's fucking do this.

00:48:03.120 Yeah, that's what it is.

00:48:03.800 Let's raw dog it.

00:48:05.120 Let's do it.

00:48:08.800 I like this.

00:48:09.880 I like this a lot.

00:48:11.800 Oh, yeah.

00:48:13.020 I'm already into this one.

00:48:14.140 It's all slowed down and shit.

00:48:22.960 Yo.

00:48:23.980 I have no legacy at all.

00:48:25.220 Just let the horse

00:48:25.860 fuck me to death.

00:48:36.040 Oh, this is sick.

00:48:36.580 I bet you know

00:48:37.120 when they come,

00:48:37.940 they have to be like

00:48:38.960 is it true

00:48:56.800 that dogs people

00:48:57.440 can't get pregnant?

00:48:58.660 So you can just

00:48:59.220 raw dog them constantly?

00:49:00.180 Yeah, you're good.

00:49:01.000 I think it's all...

00:49:02.120 So she's ovulating,

00:49:06.140 that means you're trying

00:49:06.800 for another retarded baby?

00:49:08.600 Yeah, we've been

00:49:09.600 talking about this, yeah.

00:49:11.000 Call him.

00:49:11.460 You've had the thought

00:49:24.460 of taking a midget

00:49:26.060 and throwing against the wall

00:49:27.100 so its head explodes

00:49:28.100 but not the thought

00:49:29.080 of tripping a small child.

00:49:31.060 Right.

00:49:31.280 Or a person.

00:49:39.020 Because I've already chosen

00:49:40.220 the Down Syndrome dude,

00:49:41.520 like,

00:49:41.880 I just imagined myself

00:49:42.820 blowing this

00:49:43.460 fucking dart.

00:49:45.040 That shit sucks.

00:49:45.920 What you should do

00:49:52.400 is like go

00:49:53.000 go out there

00:49:53.900 get some rope

00:49:54.480 and kill yourself

00:49:55.100 and then...

00:49:56.200 That would really

00:50:03.420 slap if we were

00:50:04.460 retarded.

00:50:05.760 I'll go.

00:50:06.320 I'll go.

00:50:06.380 Dude, that was incredible.

00:50:27.080 Dude.

00:50:28.200 For someone who was

00:50:29.200 born in the 80s,

00:50:30.000 I may be the only one here.

00:50:31.380 That was fucking sick.

00:50:32.600 That was cool.

00:50:33.160 Baller right there.

00:50:34.100 Dude, I am so glad

00:50:34.940 we gave him economic incentive.

00:50:36.220 Pretend that you're really young.

00:50:38.240 Yeah, dude.

00:50:38.840 That was fucking sick.

00:50:41.380 Yeah.

00:50:41.660 Yeah.

00:50:42.220 Again, I'll say it

00:50:43.040 I say it every week.

00:50:44.420 I'll put up our

00:50:45.520 I'll put up our

00:50:47.100 maybe our producer.

00:50:48.080 He's okay.

00:50:48.820 But our editor

00:50:49.680 against any big name editor

00:50:51.660 period.

00:50:53.200 And they was...

00:50:53.920 Dude,

00:50:54.640 Lainey's capable

00:50:55.680 of doing any genre.

00:50:57.620 It's fucking nuts.

00:50:59.060 I don't even understand it.

00:51:00.700 Your mom's house.

00:51:02.020 I'm challenging you

00:51:02.960 to an editor fight.

00:51:04.520 Yeah, dude.

00:51:05.240 My training editor

00:51:06.120 They lost their editors.

00:51:07.260 They like...

00:51:08.380 They did.

00:51:09.340 So it's a sore spot

00:51:10.480 so maybe they'll like

00:51:11.440 really, you know...

00:51:12.500 Ours is a tyranny

00:51:13.140 so there's a 40% chance

00:51:14.660 we'll be in the same boat.

00:51:18.100 Kill the vibe, dude.

00:51:19.360 You did such a great job.

00:51:20.880 You answered every question.

00:51:22.660 You knew all the facts.

00:51:24.140 I love that video so much.

00:51:28.460 I love that video so much.

00:51:29.360 That's so fucked up, Tyler.

00:51:30.820 That's so fucked.

00:51:31.360 That was perfect.

00:51:34.600 Kick to the nuts

00:51:35.500 after he's already

00:51:36.200 been kicked to the nuts.

00:51:37.180 Go ahead, Tord.

00:51:38.220 Mark Vestibule.

00:51:39.120 Okay, go ahead.

00:51:39.740 Because I was going to say

00:51:40.340 did you see that thing

00:51:41.140 about Nick Fuentes

00:51:42.180 being in the tranny chat?

00:51:44.520 Did you see that?

00:51:45.000 The dollhouse?

00:51:45.840 The dollhouse.

00:51:46.960 That wasn't real.

00:51:48.180 It wasn't real?

00:51:49.380 Yeah, I didn't think it was.

00:51:50.500 Because if you saw it,

00:51:51.820 one of the person in there

00:51:52.820 was Perry,

00:51:53.840 the guy we had on our show.

00:51:55.060 Yeah.

00:51:55.300 He was one of the ones in there

00:51:56.700 and that made me laugh so hard.

00:51:58.900 That's why I think it's a joke.

00:52:00.180 Like he made me

00:52:00.600 somehow guide his audience

00:52:01.520 to do some dumb shit.

00:52:02.600 That's amazing

00:52:03.180 if that's a joke like that.

00:52:04.640 That's what we need

00:52:05.200 to get our audience to do.

00:52:05.960 Shit like that.

00:52:06.640 Like start rumors

00:52:07.380 that we're like in fucking shit.

00:52:08.940 But then bring in

00:52:09.660 other big influencers

00:52:10.680 who are like,

00:52:11.260 whoa, I can't believe this.

00:52:13.220 You see what Faceless did, right?

00:52:14.400 Holy shit, Blair White's a tranny.

00:52:16.680 Faceless puts

00:52:18.060 whenever there's

00:52:19.620 like a mass shooting like this.

00:52:20.780 So he put a profile

00:52:23.140 as whatever the name

00:52:24.620 of the shooter was for Trump.

00:52:25.680 No, it's not him.

00:52:26.980 It's his followers do it.

00:52:28.160 His followers?

00:52:29.000 Whatever.

00:52:29.440 His followers do it

00:52:30.860 without,

00:52:31.300 I don't think he even tells them to.

00:52:33.020 I think they just do it.

00:52:34.200 He's created such a culture

00:52:35.560 of shenanigans.

00:52:36.760 No, it's fucked up though.

00:52:38.300 So like they're,

00:52:39.260 no, it's a bad culture of shenanigans.

00:52:41.180 They put up this thing

00:52:42.460 and then Clint Josie 2024,

00:52:45.080 hell yeah.

00:52:45.340 But then it goes,

00:52:47.060 I don't think they'll get married

00:52:47.620 that soon.

00:52:48.500 In the profile of this,

00:52:50.180 in the bio of this profile,

00:52:52.460 that's funny.

00:52:53.660 They say,

00:52:54.600 number one Faceless fan

00:52:56.380 and then they put his website

00:52:57.700 like love this shit,

00:52:58.780 love Faceless.

00:52:59.860 Or they'll do like,

00:53:00.640 Faceless made me do it.

00:53:02.560 Like they'll say,

00:53:03.340 Faceless made me do it.

00:53:05.680 And now his fans

00:53:06.780 are getting calls from the FBI.

00:53:08.620 Yeah.

00:53:09.460 It's crazy.

00:53:11.000 I love that so much

00:53:11.920 where they get called

00:53:12.700 and they're just like,

00:53:13.340 dude, it's a joke

00:53:14.040 and the FBI guy has to be like,

00:53:15.980 oh, I just want to be very clear.

00:53:17.740 If this show continues

00:53:18.540 on the trajectory that it's on,

00:53:20.040 I'm referencing Tower Gang,

00:53:21.760 there's a decent chance

00:53:23.540 that like Tower Gang,

00:53:24.760 our gang,

00:53:25.540 whatever,

00:53:26.000 like will be listed

00:53:26.960 as domestic terrorists.

00:53:28.240 Hell yeah.

00:53:29.000 It's coming.

00:53:29.660 Aren't we already on?

00:53:30.340 I know I'm on some lists,

00:53:31.900 like at least from Twitter lists.

00:53:33.800 Like I remember like,

00:53:35.000 like the ones that like-

00:53:36.080 I'm saying like the audience,

00:53:37.200 the fans of this show,

00:53:38.160 like-

00:53:38.380 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:53:39.260 Called by the FBI.

00:53:40.140 Like it could happen.

00:53:40.980 We're on the Faceless track

00:53:42.180 is what I'm saying.

00:53:43.040 Yeah.

00:53:43.700 Well, I mean,

00:53:44.100 you're running for president now.

00:53:45.620 Like, so now you're accepting

00:53:47.020 that nomination.

00:53:48.200 What does that mean?

00:53:49.740 Well, it's not formally.

00:53:51.800 Yeah, it's not formally offered

00:53:53.180 and it's up to Tennessee delegates

00:53:54.700 or the members of Tennessee

00:53:56.900 to decide,

00:53:57.580 but yeah,

00:53:58.160 they nominate-

00:53:58.900 He's going to be the president of Tennessee.

00:54:00.480 Hell yeah.

00:54:02.280 That's awesome.

00:54:03.640 That's the ideal scenario though.

00:54:05.580 We are bringing back slavery, baby.

00:54:08.760 Tower game,

00:54:09.480 we're all moving to Tennessee.

00:54:10.800 Clinton's the president.

00:54:12.600 So what does it mean?

00:54:14.700 So I would be on the ballot in Tennessee

00:54:16.460 as opposed to Chase and Tremont.

00:54:17.540 As the LP candidate, I think.

00:54:19.600 Only in Tennessee though.

00:54:20.800 Instead of Chase.

00:54:21.880 Well, there's other states

00:54:22.800 that are also considering it.

00:54:24.260 So I don't know what the fuck's happening.

00:54:25.920 We got a fucking-

00:54:26.280 We got a coup going on here?

00:54:27.920 Is that what that is?

00:54:28.620 So then do people have to vote again

00:54:30.340 for president?

00:54:31.460 Is that what that means?

00:54:32.520 No, it just means that

00:54:33.440 on the national ballot

00:54:35.200 in November, November 5th,

00:54:36.880 in Tennessee,

00:54:37.980 you will be able to vote for me.

00:54:38.700 They can vote for you.

00:54:39.700 That's kind of cool.

00:54:40.160 So basically, Chase-

00:54:41.120 They can vote for him regardless.

00:54:42.580 It's just that his name

00:54:43.500 will be a checkbox

00:54:44.320 that they don't have to write in.

00:54:45.340 Chase is Joe Biden

00:54:47.340 and we're replacing him

00:54:48.300 as the candidate.

00:54:49.920 That's the biggest deal.

00:54:51.540 Because he has a mental problem,

00:54:52.800 gayness.

00:54:53.640 But this is what I told you

00:54:54.440 that they should do, Clint,

00:54:55.280 right off the bat.

00:54:56.340 They're like-

00:54:56.560 Yeah, you said like-

00:54:57.160 Just steal power.

00:54:58.300 Chase Oliver won.

00:54:59.020 I'm like, that doesn't matter.

00:54:59.900 It's like, no, he didn't.

00:55:01.020 Do something different.

00:55:02.340 Like, obviously, this doesn't matter.

00:55:03.920 Just do something else.

00:55:05.260 It literally is what you said.

00:55:06.880 You literally said like

00:55:07.700 at the convention,

00:55:08.500 you just got out there

00:55:09.020 and be like,

00:55:09.320 we're not doing this.

00:55:10.300 That's like me.

00:55:11.000 We're not allowing this guy to be-

00:55:12.020 You do really in like

00:55:12.980 an organization like this,

00:55:13.980 you just need enough people

00:55:14.660 to be like,

00:55:15.000 yeah, we're not doing that.

00:55:15.840 I don't know what you do here.

00:55:17.900 This is what it is.

00:55:19.220 I go, hey,

00:55:19.720 let's play rock, paper, scissors

00:55:20.720 to see who drives the car.

00:55:22.140 And my daughter beats me

00:55:23.100 and I go,

00:55:23.500 fuck, in your fucking seat.

00:55:25.120 You know?

00:55:25.560 And then I drive the car.

00:55:28.180 Same shit.

00:55:29.040 What are you doing?

00:55:29.420 That's a great analogy.

00:55:30.660 I love the concept

00:55:31.700 of top actually being

00:55:32.980 the vote,

00:55:34.680 counter of the delegates

00:55:35.720 at National Convention.

00:55:36.900 And he's like,

00:55:37.980 and the final results,

00:55:40.080 51% goes to Oliver Tamat

00:55:42.940 and 47, 48% goes to

00:55:45.160 Recton-Wald Russell.

00:55:46.260 And then he's just like,

00:55:47.360 Recton-Wald Russell it is.

00:55:48.520 And like,

00:55:48.820 what the fuck?

00:55:50.240 He's just like,

00:55:50.780 we're not doing this.

00:55:52.140 He's like,

00:55:52.500 get in the fucking back of the van.

00:55:53.800 What's wrong with you?

00:55:54.620 You think you're driving?

00:55:55.920 You out of your mind?

00:55:56.700 Get the fuck up.

00:55:57.100 Get out of here.

00:55:58.060 He has a very,

00:55:59.080 and again,

00:55:59.480 I don't want to get political here,

00:56:00.640 but Chase Oliver

00:56:01.660 has a very unfortunate face.

00:56:03.540 Borders on

00:56:04.260 like he's not quite

00:56:05.620 autistic enough.

00:56:07.080 And he's not quite,

00:56:08.400 right?

00:56:08.620 But he's like in the middle.

00:56:10.280 And it's neither,

00:56:10.900 it's just not charming

00:56:11.780 to look at.

00:56:12.520 His snaggle teeth,

00:56:14.500 gay.

00:56:15.100 It's just,

00:56:15.720 it's a hard sell for people,

00:56:16.920 man.

00:56:17.120 It's gay and retarded

00:56:18.420 like mashed together.

00:56:20.140 It's weird because

00:56:21.140 I know that our presidents,

00:56:23.080 I know that our presidents

00:56:24.260 have butt fucked

00:56:25.080 and been butt fucked before.

00:56:26.480 Like I know,

00:56:27.040 like I know that's a thing.

00:56:27.440 I just don't want them

00:56:28.000 to have wanted it.

00:56:29.180 Dude,

00:56:29.480 I shook the hand

00:56:31.200 of a guy who throated Obama.

00:56:34.020 I shook that dude's hand.

00:56:35.580 Think about how crazy that is

00:56:36.640 because I'm shaking,

00:56:37.660 I'm shook in the hand

00:56:38.320 of a man who sucked

00:56:39.280 the president's dick.

00:56:40.260 If he said,

00:56:40.740 I just want to suck your dick,

00:56:41.520 would you let him?

00:56:42.460 Hold on.

00:56:43.720 Would you let him suck your dick

00:56:44.800 and then you say,

00:56:45.680 my dick has been

00:56:46.460 in the same place

00:56:47.100 that Obama's dick's been?

00:56:47.600 I do obviously think

00:56:49.720 about how cool it would be

00:56:50.680 to be Eskimo Brothers

00:56:51.820 with Obama.

00:56:53.680 But,

00:56:54.180 but,

00:56:55.280 this dude was really like haggard.

00:56:58.040 You would have rather

00:56:59.200 it than Eskimo Brothers

00:57:00.260 through Big Mike, right?

00:57:01.780 Big Mike.

00:57:02.520 Would you do it?

00:57:03.000 Honestly,

00:57:03.280 honestly,

00:57:04.100 no.

00:57:06.360 No?

00:57:07.100 Jose would definitely

00:57:08.040 fuck Big Mike.

00:57:09.460 Jose's a Big Mike dude.

00:57:11.380 I would fucking show up all.

00:57:13.540 I would fuck Michelle Obama

00:57:19.500 just so I could tell everybody

00:57:21.220 that it is a dude

00:57:22.160 or not.

00:57:23.380 Oh,

00:57:23.620 that's a good point.

00:57:24.920 So,

00:57:25.160 let me be like one.

00:57:25.720 You could be like,

00:57:26.840 hey guys,

00:57:27.440 I hate to break it to you.

00:57:29.160 It's a dude.

00:57:29.840 Fucked her.

00:57:30.680 Fuck him.

00:57:31.780 Him.

00:57:32.380 Okay,

00:57:32.660 guys,

00:57:33.000 guys,

00:57:33.240 I got good news

00:57:33.820 and I got bad news.

00:57:34.720 Like,

00:57:34.940 good news is

00:57:35.720 Michelle Obama's a dude.

00:57:36.840 Bad news,

00:57:37.400 I'm a fag.

00:57:40.100 Tell us something

00:57:40.780 we don't know.

00:57:42.300 Oh,

00:57:42.620 man.

00:57:43.240 All right,

00:57:43.480 we got like a half hour.

00:57:45.060 We got to do a dough ad.

00:57:46.000 We got to do a milk bag.

00:57:47.260 What do we got?

00:57:48.340 And we have some.

00:57:48.740 Oh,

00:57:48.840 yeah,

00:57:49.080 go to your shave,

00:57:49.600 guys.

00:57:50.260 N-A-D-E-A-U.

00:57:51.880 Shavecode.com.

00:57:53.160 Promo code gang

00:57:53.980 or tower gang.

00:57:54.880 Not sure which.

00:57:55.560 15% off.

00:57:56.600 Minimize ingrown hairs.

00:57:58.040 It is a stainless steel

00:57:59.080 single fucking razor blade.

00:58:00.580 You could use it for suicide

00:58:01.740 or you could use it

00:58:02.620 for your stubble

00:58:03.680 if you're Blair White,

00:58:05.420 if you're transitioning.

00:58:06.960 It's multi-purpose.

00:58:08.080 You could use it for that.

00:58:09.040 Toad tries to kill himself

00:58:09.900 with it daily.

00:58:10.460 It's veteran owned.

00:58:11.060 It's family operated.

00:58:11.920 It's a fucking fantastic product.

00:58:13.100 If you don't get one,

00:58:14.500 you're gay.

00:58:15.520 If you're Big Mike,

00:58:17.180 if you're Big Mike,

00:58:19.220 you shave your back

00:58:20.080 with that thing.

00:58:20.640 Your fucking gorilla back

00:58:21.640 you have,

00:58:22.220 you shave it down.

00:58:23.220 It's Baby Smooth.

00:58:24.260 You shave your pussy with it.

00:58:25.720 Now,

00:58:26.000 like,

00:58:26.200 no one knows the difference.

00:58:27.400 Basically,

00:58:27.680 you slide in that pussy.

00:58:28.280 Barry shaves her back.

00:58:29.180 She can't reach her back.

00:58:30.280 Like,

00:58:30.440 I can't reach my back.

00:58:31.760 I bet she's flexible.

00:58:32.860 I know it's thick

00:58:34.000 and wide,

00:58:35.160 but I think she's flexible enough.

00:58:36.260 My thesis has always been

00:58:37.300 that Michelle is just

00:58:38.040 a big,

00:58:38.900 broad-shouldered biatch,

00:58:40.080 which,

00:58:40.360 by the way,

00:58:40.900 oh,

00:58:41.180 dude,

00:58:41.540 that just reminded me

00:58:42.700 of this story.

00:58:43.540 When I was in high school,

00:58:44.620 there was this girl

00:58:45.220 that was built like a...

00:58:45.940 I fucked Big Mike.

00:58:46.980 No, no.

00:58:47.960 When I was in high school,

00:58:48.940 when I was in high school,

00:58:50.360 there was this chick

00:58:50.940 that was built like a box.

00:58:51.880 Oh, shit.

00:58:52.260 Look at this.

00:58:53.440 Timeline Earth.

00:58:54.580 Sorry.

00:58:55.720 I'm running an ad

00:58:56.460 for Top Lobster.

00:58:57.120 Go to toplobster.com

00:58:57.980 and buy some stuff.

00:58:58.600 I guess we'll just do ads.

00:59:00.200 Buy the Fight Fight Fight shirt.

00:59:02.200 People,

00:59:02.860 man,

00:59:03.280 I grifted my way

00:59:04.200 fucking to a bunch of sales

00:59:05.620 and that shit.

00:59:06.460 You buy that one.

00:59:07.020 Oh, really?

00:59:07.400 I'll say because

00:59:08.020 you got it out pretty quick.

00:59:09.000 Johnny on the spot, yeah.

00:59:10.440 Yeah,

00:59:10.660 you got to move.

00:59:11.700 This is the kind of

00:59:12.820 fucking future that we're in.

00:59:13.980 You just got to just go,

00:59:14.960 go, go.

00:59:15.980 Who's there first?

00:59:16.980 Hell yeah.

00:59:17.660 Hell yeah.

00:59:18.060 Look at that sexy dude.

00:59:19.220 Oh, yeah.

00:59:19.780 I bought this one back

00:59:20.580 for today.

00:59:21.020 Somebody asked me

00:59:21.620 about the two wolves

00:59:22.520 so you could buy that one today.

00:59:24.320 I have the sticker.

00:59:25.600 It's so great.

00:59:26.360 Can you imagine

00:59:27.040 how many sick

00:59:28.320 Tower Gang edits

00:59:29.260 are coming out of Thailand

00:59:30.060 right now?

00:59:30.500 The link is on my Twitter

00:59:32.020 if you want to buy that one.

00:59:33.440 But yeah,

00:59:33.940 I don't get it.

00:59:34.700 What did that mean?

00:59:36.560 I don't get it.

00:59:37.100 Are you implying

00:59:39.040 there's a lot of tyranny?

00:59:39.900 I guess, yeah.

00:59:40.460 Okay, you're saying

00:59:41.120 the ladyboy phenomenon.

00:59:42.820 Okay, I got you.

00:59:44.080 But that was a long connection.

00:59:45.000 I just remembered

00:59:45.600 because I said that

00:59:46.460 I've always assumed

00:59:47.120 that Michelle Obama

00:59:47.800 is just a broad-shouldered bitch

00:59:49.400 and I was thinking like

00:59:50.140 Obama probably got with her

00:59:51.760 because from behind

00:59:52.960 looks like a dude.

00:59:54.260 You can still fuck her in the ass.

00:59:55.480 Feels like you're fucking a dude.

00:59:56.740 But I bet,

00:59:57.480 I bet he still doesn't

00:59:58.380 fuck her very much.

00:59:59.760 Anyways,

01:00:00.380 what it made me remember though

01:00:01.980 was that in high school

01:00:03.120 there was this girl

01:00:03.900 not even like

01:00:05.160 particularly unattractive.

01:00:06.920 Like the bar for attractiveness

01:00:08.360 in high school

01:00:08.800 was very high for some reason

01:00:09.960 because she was like

01:00:10.520 fine looking

01:00:11.080 but her shoulders

01:00:12.580 were a little bit broader

01:00:13.620 and we called her

01:00:14.680 to her face

01:00:15.940 broad-shouldered bitch

01:00:17.680 over and over again.

01:00:20.040 That's what we nicknamed her

01:00:21.660 and we called her

01:00:22.820 and like

01:00:23.440 if we wanted to style it

01:00:24.960 we'd be like

01:00:25.400 oh,

01:00:25.860 like she'd walk through the quad

01:00:26.960 and we'd be like

01:00:27.540 broad-shouldered bitch

01:00:28.840 like we would yell it

01:00:30.380 at the top of our lungs.

01:00:31.480 Triple B!

01:00:31.960 Did you even know her name?

01:00:35.440 BSB!

01:00:36.040 Yeah,

01:00:36.480 I knew her name

01:00:36.940 but I don't remember

01:00:37.980 what it was.

01:00:38.280 Three B's and broad-shouldered bitch?

01:00:39.600 Yeah,

01:00:39.860 let me ask you this.

01:00:40.800 Was this somebody

01:00:41.640 that you spoke to?

01:00:43.060 Was this somebody

01:00:43.500 you spoke to?

01:00:44.200 Yeah,

01:00:44.220 she would go to

01:00:44.760 fucking house parties with us

01:00:45.920 and we just called her

01:00:46.860 broad-shouldered bitch.

01:00:47.860 It was the meanest thing

01:00:48.880 I've ever done in my life.

01:00:49.960 Anyways,

01:00:50.420 then we had another

01:00:51.020 good guy friend of ours.

01:00:52.380 He got surgery eventually

01:00:53.560 to fucking take his jaw

01:00:54.960 and move it forward

01:00:55.640 but he had no jaw

01:00:57.140 so we called him

01:00:57.760 Nochin.

01:00:58.700 We called him Austin Nochin.

01:00:59.760 We just called him Nochin.

01:01:00.740 Whatever we saw

01:01:02.300 that was wrong with you,

01:01:03.200 we just made that your name.

01:01:04.560 We were so fucking vicious.

01:01:05.760 It was like Jimmy Nohans.

01:01:08.340 That's literally high school, dude.

01:01:09.780 I remember

01:01:10.200 the nastiest,

01:01:13.220 most extreme

01:01:14.500 and vile things

01:01:15.900 I've said to people

01:01:16.440 was in high school.

01:01:17.340 Just saying

01:01:18.140 the nastiest shit.

01:01:19.500 I called him Nochin.

01:01:21.220 I called him

01:01:21.600 broad-shouldered bitch.

01:01:22.640 It happened to me, man.

01:01:23.540 Jesus.

01:01:24.520 I got the mean nickname.

01:01:26.640 Oh yeah,

01:01:26.880 what was your name?

01:01:28.040 Toad.

01:01:28.480 I have an assortment.

01:01:31.860 Dude,

01:01:32.240 you had other nicknames.

01:01:33.160 Give us some of the other ones.

01:01:34.020 I want to know.

01:01:34.560 Go ahead.

01:01:34.920 Please give us a nickname.

01:01:35.780 I ran through all of them

01:01:37.020 in my valedictorian speech as well.

01:01:39.260 What were they?

01:01:40.060 Oh my God.

01:01:40.800 Oh, give the speech.

01:01:41.560 Give us a speech.

01:01:41.980 You and your valedictorian speech

01:01:43.180 went through a list

01:01:43.960 of what the mean people

01:01:44.840 at school called you?

01:01:46.420 Yeah.

01:01:47.000 Here I am now,

01:01:48.000 the valedictorian.

01:01:48.760 I showed you.

01:01:48.980 Jose, shut up

01:01:49.500 and let him do it.

01:01:51.520 Give us a speech.

01:01:52.380 It was cool.

01:01:53.180 It was funny.

01:01:54.200 So,

01:01:54.600 obviously I was nicknamed Toad

01:01:56.640 because I had a bold haircut.

01:01:58.880 You memorized this speech.

01:02:00.500 I know you memorized it

01:02:01.420 and I know you still remember it.

01:02:02.960 Give the speech.

01:02:04.060 It's only been 20 years.

01:02:05.260 Is it a five-minute speech?

01:02:05.840 Just say it right now.

01:02:06.720 Yeah, just do it.

01:02:08.160 I'm trying to kind of remember it,

01:02:10.380 but it was,

01:02:11.100 I think it was something

01:02:12.340 to the effect of,

01:02:14.180 like even my ever-changing nicknames

01:02:17.460 throughout high school

01:02:18.400 show my metamorphosis

01:02:21.820 throughout high school

01:02:23.100 where it first started as Big Guy,

01:02:26.400 which was coined by

01:02:27.460 one of my math teachers

01:02:29.120 in eighth grade

01:02:30.840 as an ironic nickname,

01:02:32.660 which then became

01:02:35.660 the other ironic nickname,

01:02:37.400 Big Show,

01:02:38.780 because we had a lot of wrestling fans,

01:02:40.860 which then converted to Big Slow

01:02:43.780 because it was written

01:02:47.040 in an illegible font

01:02:50.140 on my backpack.

01:02:51.840 However, through it all,

01:02:53.240 the nickname Toad

01:02:54.280 continued to resurface.

01:02:56.880 Toad's?

01:02:57.900 This slump continued.

01:03:00.680 It was still cooking.

01:03:03.440 Toad's nicknames

01:03:04.480 and had a bold haircut.

01:03:06.320 They read like that part of the Bible

01:03:07.720 where it's like,

01:03:08.900 then this begat that,

01:03:10.020 then this begat that.

01:03:11.340 It's like,

01:03:11.760 then this begat this,

01:03:12.980 and this, oh my God.

01:03:13.580 And then Big Show begat Big Slow,

01:03:16.180 and then Big Slow begat Toad.

01:03:18.340 You're not Toad,

01:03:19.020 you're Leviticus, nigga.

01:03:20.120 And then I said,

01:03:21.200 I said,

01:03:23.500 It's a good reference.

01:03:25.640 I said, however,

01:03:27.620 the nickname Toad

01:03:29.120 may have been more fitting

01:03:31.240 had it been

01:03:31.920 the name of the character

01:03:34.240 from Wind in the Willows.

01:03:35.480 because, after all,

01:03:36.440 he was a bit of an extension.

01:03:37.580 I don't think you should let him finish.

01:03:38.360 You can stop now.

01:03:39.200 You can be done.

01:03:42.220 Oh my God.

01:03:43.360 It's like,

01:03:43.720 every time I have

01:03:44.420 a little bit of sympathy for Toad,

01:03:45.760 he keeps talking,

01:03:46.520 and I'm like,

01:03:46.860 fuck this guy.

01:03:47.800 You're fucking done, Toad.

01:03:47.880 Did you run the speech by anyone?

01:03:49.960 Did you run the speech by anyone?

01:03:51.600 Yeah.

01:03:52.160 Honestly,

01:03:52.740 that might be,

01:03:53.320 that actually might be

01:03:54.240 about George Breach.

01:03:55.060 Was the angle

01:03:56.240 in bringing up

01:03:56.940 all of your prior nicknames

01:03:58.480 to be like,

01:03:59.240 and look at me now?

01:04:01.480 No.

01:04:02.420 No way.

01:04:03.060 So what was the angle?

01:04:04.100 Why were you doing it?

01:04:04.720 Okay,

01:04:04.940 I have to ask.

01:04:06.340 I have to ask.

01:04:07.720 Humor?

01:04:08.080 Because I cried

01:04:09.120 during my valedictorian speech.

01:04:10.800 Do you think Toad's was worse?

01:04:12.700 Oh, you did?

01:04:13.180 Oh, I didn't even think

01:04:13.860 about the fact

01:04:14.340 I forgot you're valedictorian,

01:04:16.240 so you did that gay shit.

01:04:17.720 Yeah.

01:04:18.020 How are the dumbest motherfuckers

01:04:19.200 on this show,

01:04:19.900 valedictorians?

01:04:20.940 My rules,

01:04:21.980 well, I'm not dumb.

01:04:23.580 People just think I am.

01:04:24.740 But the,

01:04:25.740 dude,

01:04:27.140 Cole and I

01:04:28.060 are both engineers, man.

01:04:30.500 Cole's obviously dumb,

01:04:31.940 so you shouldn't.

01:04:32.580 Our AP English teacher

01:04:34.440 had to pre-read them

01:04:38.960 and agree that,

01:04:39.940 yes,

01:04:40.100 this speech can be read,

01:04:41.000 so the girl was third.

01:04:42.280 Dude, you should have protested.

01:04:42.960 Fuck that.

01:04:43.460 The girl who was third

01:04:44.300 in my class did do that.

01:04:45.840 She wrote a speech

01:04:46.500 that was basically like,

01:04:47.560 fuck high school,

01:04:48.560 and he was like,

01:04:48.960 you can't read it.

01:04:49.520 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

01:04:49.800 I asked you

01:04:51.080 if you had someone

01:04:52.060 look it over,

01:04:53.020 and you're telling me

01:04:53.800 a teacher

01:04:54.260 that just cleared

01:04:55.000 for it being appropriate

01:04:56.180 for school

01:04:57.060 is your yes.

01:04:58.820 Is that what you're telling me?

01:04:59.560 Well, yeah,

01:04:59.860 but he was my AP English teacher.

01:05:00.660 So you didn't run this

01:05:01.320 by anybody else

01:05:01.960 that actually gave a shit

01:05:02.900 about whether you look ridiculous.

01:05:04.220 He just looked for curse words.

01:05:05.500 He was like,

01:05:05.800 there's no curse words,

01:05:06.600 no bomb threats.

01:05:07.260 You're good, whatever.

01:05:07.980 Jose, let me clarify

01:05:09.080 something for you.

01:05:10.400 There was no one else

01:05:11.580 to have him have proofread it.

01:05:13.100 No, he made me change it.

01:05:14.580 He looked at it,

01:05:15.200 and he said,

01:05:15.720 what are you doing,

01:05:16.580 a stand-up comedy routine here?

01:05:18.300 He's like,

01:05:18.620 you've got to put in stuff

01:05:20.020 about how great teachers are

01:05:23.680 and stuff.

01:05:24.080 I was like,

01:05:24.280 God damn it.

01:05:25.780 So I had to do that.

01:05:27.440 Y'all did just breeze over

01:05:29.400 that I cried during my,

01:05:30.780 because I want to ask,

01:05:31.700 who do you think is worse?

01:05:34.080 Your speech was only

01:05:34.900 like seven, eight years ago.

01:05:36.480 Tell us it right now.

01:05:38.300 Oh, I don't,

01:05:38.820 the reason I cried

01:05:40.200 is because I started

01:05:40.660 talking about my parents,

01:05:41.560 and I was like,

01:05:42.140 oh, thank you for helping me,

01:05:42.860 and I started crying during it.

01:05:43.940 Because all the rapes?

01:05:45.700 Yeah, it was all the...

01:05:47.720 Because of the plasma loss.

01:05:49.360 And my dad helping me

01:05:50.580 through this enough time.

01:05:51.600 He cried.

01:05:52.200 He cried because he was like,

01:05:53.600 I'm peaking right now.

01:05:54.960 This is where I peep.

01:05:56.160 You know probably the most

01:05:57.560 alpha thing I've ever done?

01:05:59.040 This girl,

01:05:59.840 I had a crazy crush on,

01:06:01.640 could never get her

01:06:02.580 to be like interested in me

01:06:03.880 in that way in high school.

01:06:05.240 My buddy died when I was 19.

01:06:07.120 He was 17.

01:06:07.960 He died in a motorcycle accident.

01:06:09.580 At his funeral,

01:06:10.740 I gave this speech,

01:06:11.920 I gave this speech

01:06:12.680 where I am blubbering,

01:06:14.460 but it's fucking super,

01:06:15.620 it's super powerful.

01:06:16.560 I make the entire fucking,

01:06:17.840 there's like 250 people

01:06:19.080 because our whole high school

01:06:19.800 turns out,

01:06:20.440 and everyone's fucking bawling.

01:06:22.260 And that day after,

01:06:24.280 or that night,

01:06:25.320 I think actually,

01:06:26.120 that's when I decided

01:06:27.020 to run for president

01:06:28.040 for the Libertarian Party.

01:06:30.060 Dude,

01:06:30.280 Loco Plata in the chat

01:06:31.860 said Cole cried

01:06:32.860 because he realized

01:06:33.820 how many dogs he murdered.

01:06:35.500 I'm just saying,

01:06:36.540 a speech for my homeboy,

01:06:38.160 and I was genuinely destroyed.

01:06:39.820 She fucking wanted

01:06:40.540 to date me after that,

01:06:41.420 and I was like,

01:06:41.860 that's crazy.

01:06:42.840 Holy shit,

01:06:43.500 I'm gonna murder

01:06:44.160 some of my friends.

01:06:45.240 Yeah.

01:06:46.380 It's not gonna work for you, dude.

01:06:47.860 It's the only pathway forward.

01:06:49.140 False flag your way

01:06:50.080 into a relationship

01:06:50.820 of some sort.

01:06:52.340 False flag.

01:06:55.220 False flag.

01:06:55.860 Get yourself into some pussy.

01:06:57.000 Dude,

01:06:57.180 mine was crazy

01:06:57.940 because I cried during it.

01:06:59.820 I took a selfie

01:07:00.860 to begin my speech,

01:07:02.660 which was really bad.

01:07:03.540 And then my girlfriend was-

01:07:04.280 Wait,

01:07:04.440 why the fuck would you do that?

01:07:05.480 You took a selfie?

01:07:06.860 I turned around.

01:07:07.500 Do you still have a selfie?

01:07:09.900 Oh, that's not so bad.

01:07:11.080 I guarantee you,

01:07:11.780 my speech is so much better than us.

01:07:13.080 Because you wanted to have the crowd.

01:07:14.440 That's kind of cool.

01:07:15.340 Well,

01:07:15.880 because I know

01:07:17.260 Tyler has a picture of it

01:07:18.520 because it's actually

01:07:20.340 an ornament

01:07:21.160 on our Christmas tree.

01:07:22.740 Not my Christmas,

01:07:23.200 my parents' Christmas tree.

01:07:24.400 There's an ornament

01:07:24.860 of when I graduated.

01:07:25.820 That's the picture

01:07:26.760 in the little thing,

01:07:28.000 the ornament.

01:07:28.300 I bet you there was only like,

01:07:29.320 what,

01:07:29.480 40, 50 people

01:07:30.260 in your graduating class?

01:07:30.780 Yeah, dude.

01:07:31.500 Oh,

01:07:32.480 I meant at the graduation.

01:07:34.740 None of them graduated?

01:07:35.720 They're all dumb.

01:07:36.080 No, no, no.

01:07:36.560 There was five people

01:07:37.780 in my graduating class.

01:07:38.860 Five.

01:07:40.040 Oh, my God.

01:07:40.820 You're the valedictorian.

01:07:41.820 Five people were acting like,

01:07:43.240 oh, my God,

01:07:43.720 you're the valedictorian.

01:07:44.920 Mine was 339.

01:07:46.780 Are you homeschooled?

01:07:48.000 They have valedictorians

01:07:49.060 at homeschooled?

01:07:49.680 No,

01:07:49.760 just a really small

01:07:50.560 Christian school.

01:07:51.520 That's not really small.

01:07:52.740 That's five people.

01:07:53.400 You took a selfie

01:07:54.180 with five friends.

01:07:56.140 That's what you did.

01:07:57.280 There's no crowd.

01:07:58.080 They weren't out there.

01:07:58.780 It was just me.

01:08:00.120 It was the crowd,

01:08:01.360 but it was me standing up.

01:08:03.060 So it's like

01:08:03.540 just your extended family

01:08:04.640 and you taking a photo of them?

01:08:06.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:08:06.740 And my girlfriend at the show.

01:08:09.720 Wait,

01:08:10.120 that's not it,

01:08:10.680 is it?

01:08:11.200 That is it.

01:08:12.180 Oh, my God.

01:08:13.200 You can see

01:08:13.680 because I have my

01:08:14.240 photo.

01:08:14.540 That's the photo you took?

01:08:15.480 Oh, my God.

01:08:17.680 Get the fuck out of here.

01:08:18.760 Is this really

01:08:23.760 I need a break.

01:08:24.580 That's the good crowd.

01:08:30.480 This is sad.

01:08:32.020 This stupid looking fuck.

01:08:34.100 You're dumber.

01:08:34.700 You're dumber than I thought.

01:08:35.980 It's like

01:08:36.400 This will be fucking cool.

01:08:43.140 I don't even see

01:08:44.000 people behind you.

01:08:45.800 There's like

01:08:46.320 some dumpsters behind you.

01:08:47.560 What is this?

01:08:48.260 I don't

01:08:48.520 I don't understand

01:08:49.940 what's going on.

01:08:50.520 Your head blocked

01:08:51.340 the crowd, I guess.

01:08:53.840 He graduated top

01:08:55.020 of his retarded class.

01:08:57.480 Hey,

01:08:58.120 you got to take that down.

01:08:59.380 I can't

01:08:59.740 I can't even function

01:09:00.580 with that.

01:09:03.200 What's sad?

01:09:04.260 So I

01:09:04.700 my girlfriend

01:09:05.760 that I had

01:09:06.300 in my senior year

01:09:07.940 was there

01:09:08.400 and she cheated

01:09:09.860 on me a lot

01:09:10.520 and I

01:09:11.380 I wonder why.

01:09:15.240 I feel like

01:09:16.380 goofy, stupid fuck.

01:09:19.140 She cheated

01:09:20.060 on me a lot.

01:09:23.080 She wanted

01:09:24.100 a guy who would

01:09:24.580 actually come

01:09:25.140 from the road.

01:09:26.240 In a school

01:09:27.020 of that size,

01:09:27.700 you had to know

01:09:28.260 the nigga she was

01:09:28.780 cheating on you with.

01:09:29.980 She was in a different

01:09:30.920 school.

01:09:31.380 She went to a different

01:09:31.940 school.

01:09:32.180 It was one of the

01:09:32.200 three other dudes.

01:09:34.140 Cole had a girlfriend

01:09:35.160 that went to a

01:09:35.840 different school

01:09:36.340 and that cheated

01:09:36.940 on him a lot.

01:09:38.200 She did.

01:09:39.540 She did, dude.

01:09:40.440 It was

01:09:40.740 oh, fuck.

01:09:41.880 I think it was

01:09:42.440 literally

01:09:42.620 I want to say

01:09:43.240 Tell us about it.

01:09:44.180 Please.

01:09:44.900 I want to say

01:09:45.800 how'd you

01:09:46.580 how'd you find out?

01:09:47.500 I got to know

01:09:47.940 how you found out.

01:09:48.880 How many times

01:09:49.780 did you find out?

01:09:50.980 Oh, like seven times, dude.

01:09:55.040 You kept going back.

01:09:55.980 She was a whore, dude.

01:09:57.460 She was so terrible.

01:09:59.140 Yeah, but you're a sucker.

01:09:59.940 You went back after

01:10:00.820 fucking one, two times?

01:10:02.660 You weren't even

01:10:03.220 fucking her, though,

01:10:03.840 were you?

01:10:04.560 No, I wasn't even

01:10:05.240 fucking, dude.

01:10:05.860 Oh, my God.

01:10:07.120 You was fucking

01:10:07.700 other dudes?

01:10:08.800 No, I don't think

01:10:09.320 she, well, I don't

01:10:10.140 know, maybe she did

01:10:10.680 fuck her.

01:10:11.000 I don't know, but I

01:10:11.440 don't think she fucked

01:10:12.020 him.

01:10:12.880 She would, like,

01:10:13.560 mess around.

01:10:14.020 She would, like,

01:10:14.420 make out and, like,

01:10:15.080 I guess mess around

01:10:15.700 with them and send

01:10:16.280 them nudes and stuff.

01:10:17.980 She was fucking,

01:10:19.120 oh, man.

01:10:21.160 I was just a young

01:10:22.340 whippersnapper.

01:10:23.460 Wait, how did you,

01:10:24.280 I want to know,

01:10:25.280 in that photo,

01:10:26.260 there's no one behind

01:10:27.720 you?

01:10:28.080 What are you doing?

01:10:28.620 It's because it's a

01:10:29.580 tiny, they clip the,

01:10:30.720 it's always, it's like,

01:10:31.560 it's this big, dude.

01:10:33.800 Like, it's.

01:10:35.140 Why do you look like

01:10:36.200 that?

01:10:38.000 Dude, because it's bad,

01:10:39.200 dude.

01:10:39.340 I don't know, man.

01:10:40.880 So, wait, I want to

01:10:41.880 know how you dealt

01:10:42.960 with it.

01:10:44.300 Look, I've laughed

01:10:44.960 harder.

01:10:45.480 I've laughed harder

01:10:46.260 during this show.

01:10:47.180 I have never felt

01:10:48.280 that kind of pain.

01:10:49.580 Like, looking at

01:10:50.480 that photo.

01:10:51.040 The Lord.

01:10:53.000 It hurt me physically.

01:10:54.740 I had to have it

01:10:55.520 taken down.

01:10:56.100 I was going to walk

01:10:56.780 out of this room,

01:10:57.460 because I was in

01:10:58.520 so much pain

01:10:59.440 that that's what

01:11:00.280 you did.

01:11:01.900 Unbelievable.

01:11:02.440 Oh, my God.

01:11:03.800 So, wait, wait, wait.

01:11:04.420 I want to know

01:11:04.800 the difference between.

01:11:05.320 It's even better

01:11:05.480 because I've seen

01:11:06.100 that picture so many

01:11:07.220 times.

01:11:07.580 The first time,

01:11:08.540 all it's flooding

01:11:09.240 together, all the

01:11:10.000 information.

01:11:10.300 The first time you

01:11:11.020 find out she

01:11:11.540 cheats on you

01:11:12.080 versus the last

01:11:12.960 time, what are

01:11:13.860 the differences

01:11:14.340 in emotion there?

01:11:15.460 Oh, the first

01:11:16.000 time was bad,

01:11:16.600 dude.

01:11:16.660 I was on my

01:11:17.160 senior trip.

01:11:19.600 She cheated on

01:11:20.500 your senior trip?

01:11:21.820 Yeah, dude.

01:11:22.340 Like, she was,

01:11:22.900 because I was like,

01:11:23.520 it was actually like

01:11:24.060 the week before

01:11:24.840 senior trip.

01:11:25.520 Like, one short

01:11:26.980 minute.

01:11:28.460 Because, honestly,

01:11:29.680 I may have met

01:11:30.440 Clint earlier

01:11:31.080 because my senior

01:11:31.900 trip was to San

01:11:32.480 Diego.

01:11:32.760 Well, I went to

01:11:33.280 San Diego, then

01:11:33.780 LA.

01:11:34.840 I went to a huge

01:11:35.600 city, so I may

01:11:36.440 have seen it.

01:11:36.740 Who knows?

01:11:37.400 I would have

01:11:38.080 been like 35.

01:11:40.800 He's 18.

01:11:42.340 Look at this

01:11:42.740 girlfriend's

01:11:43.220 cheating on you.

01:11:44.460 And she, like,

01:11:45.580 had...

01:11:45.780 I'm the guy

01:11:46.120 that she's

01:11:46.540 cheating on you.

01:11:47.380 Can you imagine

01:11:48.300 if you guys at

01:11:49.100 one time crossed

01:11:49.960 each other's

01:11:50.460 street and you

01:11:50.820 were like,

01:11:51.000 what the fuck?

01:11:51.980 Yeah, that'd be

01:11:52.620 crazy.

01:11:53.180 I don't even want

01:11:54.040 to tell the story

01:11:54.760 because I feel...

01:11:55.880 Tell the story.

01:11:57.780 She met a dude

01:11:59.060 in Walmart parking

01:12:00.820 lot.

01:12:01.380 I swear to God.

01:12:01.980 She's a dog, bro.

01:12:03.220 And he gave her...

01:12:04.260 Do you have a

01:12:04.620 picture of her?

01:12:06.100 Of her?

01:12:06.440 I know you got her

01:12:06.960 on Instagram.

01:12:08.080 Keep in mind this

01:12:08.760 motherfucker had a

01:12:09.380 graduating class of

01:12:10.280 five.

01:12:10.740 So this is the kind

01:12:11.180 of area we're

01:12:11.740 talking about here.

01:12:12.980 Was she white?

01:12:14.520 Yeah.

01:12:15.280 Wow.

01:12:15.960 Yeah.

01:12:16.200 Of course.

01:12:16.960 Wow.

01:12:17.820 Yeah.

01:12:20.720 Fuck you.

01:12:21.320 Because we know

01:12:24.060 that those black

01:12:24.560 bitches, they like

01:12:25.380 to be raped.

01:12:26.040 So it was like

01:12:26.400 we could be in

01:12:27.020 their culture.

01:12:27.560 Wally, wally, wally,

01:12:27.880 wally, wally, world.

01:12:29.840 No, she met

01:12:30.620 this guy.

01:12:31.620 She saw him

01:12:32.220 and then he gave

01:12:34.820 her his number

01:12:35.800 and then she met

01:12:37.480 up with him later

01:12:38.100 on and was hanging

01:12:40.040 out in his truck

01:12:40.720 and shit.

01:12:41.540 And then she told

01:12:42.220 me.

01:12:42.480 I think I can't

01:12:43.180 remember how I

01:12:43.660 found out.

01:12:44.280 But she either

01:12:45.140 told me or something.

01:12:46.180 What did she say

01:12:46.680 she did over

01:12:47.920 the like made

01:12:49.400 I made out with

01:12:50.100 them and I don't

01:12:50.520 know, like she

01:12:51.200 probably sucked

01:12:52.800 him.

01:12:53.060 She probably

01:12:53.400 sucked him.

01:12:53.840 She sucked

01:12:54.220 that dude's

01:12:54.620 dick goal.

01:12:55.940 Probably so.

01:12:56.640 I don't care.

01:12:57.100 If she's making

01:12:58.460 out with this

01:12:59.020 dude, she's

01:12:59.800 definitely sucking

01:13:00.660 his dick.

01:13:01.120 I bet.

01:13:01.400 She knew seven

01:13:02.180 times and even

01:13:02.880 break off a piece

01:13:03.680 of that pussy

01:13:04.100 at all.

01:13:04.720 Never.

01:13:05.320 I mean, I

01:13:05.600 probably had the

01:13:06.000 chance to.

01:13:06.660 I think she owes

01:13:07.100 you.

01:13:07.440 No, no, no,

01:13:07.920 no, no.

01:13:08.080 Listen, no, no.

01:13:08.760 Listen, because

01:13:09.280 this is crazy

01:13:09.720 because so, so

01:13:10.780 this is crazy.

01:13:13.280 It's getting

01:13:13.600 crazy.

01:13:14.320 She owes

01:13:15.200 a blowjob to

01:13:16.680 so this is

01:13:17.340 like my senior

01:13:17.920 year of high

01:13:18.240 school.

01:13:18.520 Then when I

01:13:18.780 graduate, then

01:13:19.560 the summer, like

01:13:20.280 she during the

01:13:21.240 summer, I may

01:13:21.840 have ramped.

01:13:22.240 I don't know.

01:13:22.480 She took

01:13:22.780 like.

01:13:27.460 So I guess

01:13:29.560 she cheated on

01:13:29.960 me over the

01:13:30.300 summer, too,

01:13:30.720 because like

01:13:31.120 whenever I was

01:13:31.760 away, I guess

01:13:32.600 she was because

01:13:33.020 I went to

01:13:33.340 camp like my

01:13:34.400 senior year

01:13:35.160 summer and

01:13:35.700 like and then

01:13:36.900 for two weeks

01:13:37.780 and so I

01:13:38.720 come back.

01:13:38.940 She was a

01:13:39.320 major like hell,

01:13:40.400 huh?

01:13:40.940 Yeah, dude, she

01:13:41.460 was not good.

01:13:42.200 Like she was

01:13:42.520 really bad.

01:13:43.320 I go to college

01:13:44.080 and I'm still

01:13:44.640 with her and

01:13:45.200 then she breaks

01:13:45.880 up with me

01:13:46.360 like in like

01:13:47.360 October.

01:13:48.080 Like so, you

01:13:48.500 know, I'll go

01:13:48.740 to college.

01:13:49.340 You didn't even

01:13:49.720 break up with

01:13:50.280 her?

01:13:50.540 No, she broke

01:13:51.260 up with me.

01:13:51.620 We're done.

01:13:52.940 Like you really

01:13:53.720 are pathetic.

01:13:54.380 You let me cheat

01:13:54.860 all these times

01:13:55.820 and you stay

01:13:56.340 with me.

01:13:57.080 She breaks up

01:13:57.960 with me.

01:13:57.980 Were you not

01:13:58.420 fucking her

01:13:58.760 because you

01:13:59.060 were waiting

01:13:59.340 for marriage?

01:14:00.140 Yes.

01:14:01.060 Oh my God!

01:14:02.440 So she was

01:14:03.140 sick of your

01:14:03.700 shit.

01:14:04.160 You were getting

01:14:04.480 all horned

01:14:04.960 up.

01:14:05.060 She was cheating

01:14:05.560 on you because

01:14:06.060 she's a dog

01:14:06.720 and you're

01:14:07.080 fucking little

01:14:07.940 firewood.

01:14:08.740 Elizabeth just

01:14:09.400 sent me a

01:14:09.860 picture of her.

01:14:10.640 That's so funny.

01:14:11.340 Okay, please show

01:14:12.000 it right now.

01:14:12.300 Please show it

01:14:12.720 right now.

01:14:12.780 Hold on, hold

01:14:13.220 on, hold on.

01:14:13.820 She cheated on you

01:14:14.360 seven times.

01:14:14.940 Show the photo.

01:14:17.240 Doctor ass.

01:14:18.420 Let's see it.

01:14:18.800 This is real

01:14:19.460 really bad.

01:14:19.960 I want to

01:14:20.220 because this

01:14:20.600 could come

01:14:21.040 back to me.

01:14:21.820 I don't give a

01:14:22.340 shit.

01:14:23.200 I know you

01:14:23.960 don't give a

01:14:24.480 shit.

01:14:24.700 Show it.

01:14:25.320 Show it.

01:14:26.100 Show it.

01:14:26.520 I need to see

01:14:27.120 if she's hotter.

01:14:28.200 We're making

01:14:28.560 her famous.

01:14:29.300 Oh no!

01:14:30.480 Oh my God.

01:14:31.680 That's now.

01:14:32.080 That bitch is

01:14:32.540 cheating on you.

01:14:34.040 Wait a minute

01:14:34.720 though.

01:14:35.280 Was she hot?

01:14:36.580 Did she have

01:14:37.000 different hair back

01:14:37.820 then though?

01:14:38.500 Yes, she did.

01:14:39.000 She didn't have

01:14:42.000 straight up lesbo.

01:14:42.820 She's rough to wear

01:14:43.580 dog.

01:14:43.880 She was not a

01:14:44.800 good show.

01:14:45.180 She's a dyke.

01:14:46.280 You got cheated

01:14:47.080 on seven times

01:14:47.860 by a lesbian.

01:14:48.860 Dude, she's been

01:14:49.340 fucked in a bunch

01:14:50.160 of all my life.

01:14:50.180 Was she fucking

01:14:50.780 other girls?

01:14:52.720 Actually.

01:14:54.100 Wait, she is?

01:14:54.880 She's a lesbian now?

01:14:55.980 No.

01:14:56.940 I know the

01:14:57.940 physiotomy.

01:14:58.580 No, no, no.

01:14:59.400 She's straight up.

01:14:59.960 I forgot about this.

01:15:01.100 No, she's married

01:15:02.620 with kids now.

01:15:04.240 Like test tube

01:15:05.140 babies or what?

01:15:06.900 What?

01:15:07.500 No, no, no.

01:15:08.100 She's married to a dude.

01:15:08.940 She get pregnant

01:15:09.720 by that nigga

01:15:10.120 in Walmart?

01:15:10.620 She actually looks down.

01:15:11.560 She does look down.

01:15:13.420 No, like so she actually

01:15:14.640 her best friend growing up,

01:15:16.100 I found out like midway

01:15:17.320 through her like

01:15:18.000 like while we were dating

01:15:19.560 that she would go over

01:15:20.580 to her friend's house

01:15:21.420 that lived like on

01:15:21.920 her same street

01:15:22.400 and they would just

01:15:23.560 finger blast each other.

01:15:25.220 I mean, just.

01:15:26.660 Oh my God.

01:15:27.380 So they squirted.

01:15:28.820 This is the most

01:15:29.580 predictable ending

01:15:30.820 in the story ever.

01:15:32.040 Holy shit.

01:15:32.500 Do girls do that?

01:15:33.880 You think girls do that

01:15:34.700 with each other?

01:15:35.540 Like they just like

01:15:36.080 they do a sleepover

01:15:36.700 and they just finger blast

01:15:37.440 each other?

01:15:37.940 I don't know.

01:15:38.280 So they said

01:15:39.500 that's what all guys

01:15:40.200 want to believe

01:15:41.140 most women do.

01:15:41.860 I want to start somewhere.

01:15:44.520 You know?

01:15:45.820 I mean, they did it

01:15:46.740 like this bitch did it

01:15:48.160 up until like,

01:15:48.960 you know,

01:15:49.240 like she said

01:15:49.640 she started like 12

01:15:50.360 or something like that.

01:15:51.880 I don't know.

01:15:52.500 Yeah.

01:15:52.820 Most women don't do that.

01:15:54.020 We wish that you guys would,

01:15:55.620 but you don't.

01:15:56.620 Okay.

01:15:56.740 Good question.

01:15:57.420 Is it rape

01:15:57.880 if you've cheated on seven times?

01:16:00.020 Yeah.

01:16:00.180 All the girls are saying no.

01:16:01.520 So I think that's a green light.

01:16:05.020 I think it's a pact.

01:16:06.620 I think it's a pact

01:16:07.300 between all women

01:16:08.080 to like say no.

01:16:10.740 Yeah.

01:16:10.860 They have to lie about it.

01:16:11.680 It's just a little do we know

01:16:12.840 as they're chatting,

01:16:13.580 they had to literally

01:16:14.100 take their fingers

01:16:14.820 out of each other

01:16:15.600 to type that no.

01:16:17.380 Their hands are all wet

01:16:18.620 on the screen.

01:16:20.360 They had to like go back

01:16:21.480 and retype it.

01:16:22.260 No, no.

01:16:24.960 So she sticks.

01:16:27.000 What was funny?

01:16:28.300 It's like,

01:16:28.560 so she broke up with me.

01:16:29.780 What's her name?

01:16:32.000 What's her first name?

01:16:33.480 No, I'm not going to dox this.

01:16:34.780 What's her first name?

01:16:35.740 Liz, tell us.

01:16:36.820 You can say her first name.

01:16:38.640 Where'd she live?

01:16:39.000 No.

01:16:40.780 It's probably something

01:16:41.660 really, really unique.

01:16:42.900 All right.

01:16:43.140 All right.

01:16:43.260 Don't say her name,

01:16:43.940 but where'd she work though?

01:16:45.740 I don't know where she works at.

01:16:46.840 I'm kidding.

01:16:47.600 Don't say anything.

01:16:48.420 Wow.

01:16:48.600 He would have told her.

01:16:49.560 Actually, David got doxed today

01:16:51.040 for saying nigger.

01:16:52.160 Very funny.

01:16:53.160 They doxed his old address

01:16:55.320 and his name.

01:16:56.140 Do not go and look up this woman.

01:16:58.020 I haven't talked to her

01:16:59.280 in years.

01:17:00.480 No, leave her alone.

01:17:01.860 Leave her alone.

01:17:02.840 Do not.

01:17:03.420 Her name is Grandma.

01:17:08.280 Her pussy was nasty, dude.

01:17:11.420 It was disgusting.

01:17:12.980 Wait, so what'd you do

01:17:13.840 with her pussy?

01:17:13.880 You're worried about

01:17:14.360 it's coming back to you

01:17:15.160 and you're going here?

01:17:16.080 No, no, no.

01:17:16.680 I did try to eat her out

01:17:18.780 and it was so bad.

01:17:19.780 You ate that lesbian out?

01:17:21.300 It smelled so bad

01:17:22.500 that I had to

01:17:23.800 Oh, bro.

01:17:24.960 I had to put gummy bears

01:17:26.040 in my mouth.

01:17:26.820 Oh, my God.

01:17:28.100 You need to stop.

01:17:28.740 When you were doing it?

01:17:29.740 You need to stop.

01:17:31.940 Jesus.

01:17:34.020 I've never

01:17:34.820 This is how all your parents

01:17:36.160 in your workplace

01:17:36.800 will talk about

01:17:37.640 this crazy bitch

01:17:38.880 that you jilted.

01:17:40.060 He's just looking at you

01:17:41.580 shaking his head.

01:17:42.520 No.

01:17:43.460 I'm so fucking...

01:17:45.120 When in Rome?

01:17:46.680 I've never heard

01:17:48.900 of somebody putting

01:17:49.680 gummy bears in their mouth

01:17:50.800 to eat somebody out.

01:17:51.800 That's the fucking

01:17:52.480 craziest thing.

01:17:53.580 I'm so bothered

01:17:54.580 by you right now.

01:17:55.280 I'm so bothered

01:17:57.500 by you.

01:17:58.040 I'm like,

01:17:58.340 I'm like,

01:17:59.180 I'm actually kind of

01:17:59.860 mad at you,

01:18:00.400 which is weird.

01:18:01.000 I don't know why

01:18:01.800 I care that much.

01:18:02.860 Some of the gummy bears

01:18:03.820 could just get like

01:18:04.480 inner pussy.

01:18:05.600 That was kind of the point.

01:18:06.900 That's what I told her

01:18:07.440 I would do.

01:18:07.800 You were like hoping

01:18:08.480 that some of my tongue

01:18:09.500 got in the pussy.

01:18:10.500 You're like,

01:18:10.740 please,

01:18:11.360 nothing can make it worse.

01:18:12.940 Spit it back in my mouth.

01:18:14.220 The gummy bears

01:18:14.780 like a little air fresher

01:18:16.100 for the pussy.

01:18:18.560 Cole,

01:18:19.040 this is God speaking.

01:18:20.020 Shut up.

01:18:22.500 No,

01:18:23.020 Cole,

01:18:23.320 you got to keep...

01:18:23.960 I can't wait

01:18:24.400 to this bitch

01:18:24.980 toxes you to death.

01:18:26.320 Honestly,

01:18:26.940 dude,

01:18:27.280 I want to go

01:18:28.160 into a coma

01:18:28.880 after this episode

01:18:29.860 and just wake up

01:18:30.640 next Wednesday

01:18:31.420 just to see

01:18:32.440 what Lainey did

01:18:33.420 with this fucking...

01:18:34.900 Oh my God.

01:18:40.760 Cole,

01:18:41.240 your life is insane.

01:18:42.840 I can't believe

01:18:43.380 that's a selfie

01:18:44.260 of your valedictorian speech

01:18:46.640 of a five-student

01:18:48.580 graduating class

01:18:49.860 and you look like

01:18:51.040 that in it

01:18:51.820 and you're getting

01:18:52.340 cheated on

01:18:52.840 by some lesbian

01:18:53.820 with a stinky pussy

01:18:55.040 who cheats on you

01:18:55.880 seven times

01:18:56.440 with a nigga

01:18:56.780 in a Walmart parking lot.

01:18:58.140 Your life is crazy.

01:18:59.580 Bring up that selfie

01:19:00.360 again one more time.

01:19:01.880 Clint will leave.

01:19:02.740 Clint will leave

01:19:03.240 if you bring it up.

01:19:04.640 Just imagine

01:19:05.560 this nigga

01:19:06.220 is about to go down

01:19:07.200 on you

01:19:07.480 with a bunch of

01:19:08.020 gummy bears in his mouth.

01:19:08.920 This is the type of nigga

01:19:09.940 to eat cum out

01:19:11.460 of that girl's pussy

01:19:12.740 two days later.

01:19:14.120 Look at him.

01:19:15.760 That's the face

01:19:16.500 he's making.

01:19:17.060 Taste weird.

01:19:17.780 The gummy bears

01:19:18.680 are getting all stuck

01:19:19.500 in his fucking braces

01:19:20.480 and shit.

01:19:20.900 That's why

01:19:21.940 your pussy smelled like that.

01:19:23.380 For real.

01:19:24.140 You gave her

01:19:24.760 a yeast infection.

01:19:26.380 I remember...

01:19:27.000 I remember...

01:19:28.140 You were wearing braces?

01:19:29.260 Yeah, I was wearing braces.

01:19:30.760 You were your pussy

01:19:31.840 with fucking...

01:19:32.780 With gummies.

01:19:33.700 Were you making a face

01:19:34.960 or is that how you

01:19:35.840 smiled in high school?

01:19:39.820 You had pussy gummy bear

01:19:42.140 on your braces.

01:19:43.180 For real.

01:19:43.720 Were you making a face

01:19:44.980 or is that how you smile?

01:19:45.600 No, I was smiling, man.

01:19:46.900 I was just...

01:19:47.620 That's crazy.

01:19:49.080 I can't believe

01:19:49.720 that's how you smile.

01:19:50.240 What type of gummy bears?

01:19:51.720 What type of gummy bears?

01:19:52.500 What brand?

01:19:52.880 Because they should sponsor this.

01:19:54.840 It was Haribo.

01:19:55.600 Was it Haribo

01:19:56.140 or some other shit?

01:19:57.300 It was probably Haribo.

01:19:58.120 Are you in a Cornalicious?

01:19:59.260 No, they were just a regular...

01:20:01.940 Dude, I remember a certain...

01:20:05.140 I'm starting to remember...

01:20:06.220 This is so bad.

01:20:07.640 Yo, give us details.

01:20:08.760 Keep going.

01:20:09.900 So we used to like...

01:20:12.080 I would go over to her house.

01:20:14.340 I would go over to her house

01:20:16.320 and yeah, she did not shave.

01:20:18.840 Yeah, she did not.

01:20:19.540 She kept that thing...

01:20:20.260 Use Nadal.

01:20:21.300 She kept that thing hairy.

01:20:22.960 She always kept the pussy.

01:20:23.820 So because I couldn't...

01:20:25.720 Because I would never...

01:20:26.660 Because we wouldn't fuck.

01:20:27.640 Like we wouldn't actually like...

01:20:28.500 I know, man.

01:20:29.040 Fuck.

01:20:29.380 I would just like hump her leg

01:20:30.960 until I came.

01:20:32.380 What the fuck?

01:20:38.700 That's how you do it

01:20:39.540 when you're waiting for marriage, right?

01:20:40.960 Yep.

01:20:41.700 You hump her leg.

01:20:42.820 It wasn't even dry humping.

01:20:44.500 It was leg humping.

01:20:46.120 Yeah, it was just like...

01:20:46.920 You didn't hump her pussy?

01:20:48.560 Basically, I would...

01:20:49.640 No, I don't think...

01:20:50.540 No, so hold on.

01:20:52.180 I gotta get through the whole story.

01:20:53.220 There's more to this.

01:20:53.980 Because I think I've told...

01:20:55.400 You didn't dry hump...

01:20:56.640 Like I understand dry hump her pussy.

01:21:02.560 It wasn't like I was humping her leg.

01:21:06.640 It was more like I was on her leg

01:21:08.120 while fingering her.

01:21:09.240 It's more like a dog.

01:21:11.060 And the motion made me cum.

01:21:13.780 That's how it was basically working.

01:21:14.620 This is why Cole hates dogs

01:21:15.880 because he sees them from a blow jump.

01:21:17.880 He's like, no, fucker.

01:21:18.620 You can come from that,

01:21:20.360 but you can't come from a blow jump

01:21:21.580 from your wife.

01:21:22.200 That's crazy.

01:21:23.320 Breeze your leg against a dick.

01:21:24.340 I was fingering for like 20 minutes, man.

01:21:27.220 I was really going.

01:21:30.200 So, okay.

01:21:31.180 So I get to college.

01:21:31.560 You're the strangest dude I've ever met.

01:21:33.220 Continue.

01:21:33.340 We get to college

01:21:34.600 and like in October,

01:21:35.860 she breaks up with me.

01:21:36.620 So the day...

01:21:37.180 Get this fucking off of just me.

01:21:38.560 I want to see them

01:21:39.120 because it's funny.

01:21:39.940 Watch them.

01:21:42.060 So she breaks up with me

01:21:43.920 in the morning or whatever.

01:21:45.120 That night,

01:21:45.800 she has a panic attack.

01:21:46.180 What was her reason?

01:21:47.120 What was her reason?

01:21:48.980 Basically like just long distance.

01:21:50.480 She can't do it.

01:21:51.460 Basically what it came down to.

01:21:53.720 So she calls me that night.

01:21:58.260 She's like,

01:21:58.440 my pussy hurts.

01:21:59.120 I keep cheating on you.

01:22:01.120 We keep...

01:22:02.320 My pussy can't handle it.

01:22:04.240 And then she calls me

01:22:04.960 because she's having a panic attack

01:22:06.100 and I'm the only one

01:22:07.580 that can calm her down.

01:22:08.860 And I'm just like,

01:22:09.500 you...

01:22:10.000 So I helped her.

01:22:11.780 The next night...

01:22:12.380 That's a sociopath right there.

01:22:13.640 What did you say to calm her down?

01:22:14.720 What did you say?

01:22:15.480 I got to know.

01:22:15.960 I don't remember.

01:22:17.360 Like it's...

01:22:17.820 I don't even remember how...

01:22:18.760 Something really fucking stupid.

01:22:20.220 Just breathe.

01:22:21.200 I don't know.

01:22:21.740 He said calm down.

01:22:23.800 Why don't you just calm down?

01:22:24.820 It gets worse

01:22:25.340 because I was a super simp

01:22:27.780 because like

01:22:28.580 then the next day

01:22:29.720 she calls me...

01:22:30.340 Super simp.

01:22:32.080 She calls me

01:22:32.920 and she goes like

01:22:33.700 she said

01:22:34.800 I need to get

01:22:37.500 like you're really good

01:22:38.420 with history

01:22:38.940 and I was like

01:22:39.360 yeah, what?

01:22:39.880 Yeah.

01:22:40.300 And she was like

01:22:41.080 I have a history paper

01:22:42.300 due tomorrow

01:22:42.840 on the Magna Carta.

01:22:44.060 Can you write it for me?

01:22:45.200 You wrote her paper.

01:22:46.660 Oh my God.

01:22:47.200 You wrote it.

01:22:48.080 She dumped you in the morning

01:22:49.620 and you wrote her paper

01:22:50.540 that night?

01:22:51.440 It was like 11 o'clock

01:22:52.560 at night.

01:22:53.120 I stayed up till like

01:22:54.080 2 o'clock

01:22:54.760 wrote a paper

01:22:55.440 on the Magna Carta

01:22:56.100 from memory

01:22:56.740 just like

01:22:57.140 sent it to her

01:22:59.320 and like

01:22:59.700 It was 12, 15

01:23:00.720 Runnymede.

01:23:02.500 Yeah.

01:23:02.920 And to run this back

01:23:04.060 this was

01:23:04.420 she broke up with you

01:23:05.540 that very same day.

01:23:06.420 I was already broken up

01:23:07.060 yeah.

01:23:07.460 Within the same day

01:23:08.300 she still bitched you up

01:23:09.080 within the same week

01:23:10.160 I would say

01:23:10.480 within the same week

01:23:11.260 not the same day.

01:23:11.880 Yo, I remember

01:23:12.420 I remember this girl

01:23:13.320 I got dumped

01:23:14.460 and I was so heartbroken

01:23:16.000 I wrote this lengthy ass letter

01:23:17.560 That I wrote a paper for her ass?

01:23:18.740 No, no, no

01:23:19.340 I wrote this lengthy ass letter

01:23:20.460 and as I was writing it

01:23:22.500 I was crying

01:23:23.160 and then I said

01:23:24.480 I like

01:23:25.240 as I was writing

01:23:26.900 it started to smear

01:23:27.700 because the paper was wet

01:23:28.880 because I was writing on paper

01:23:29.740 for real

01:23:30.060 and then the next line

01:23:32.040 I go like

01:23:32.540 you can see

01:23:33.400 that the ink is

01:23:34.640 you know

01:23:35.400 smearing because of my tears

01:23:36.940 and I sent that to her

01:23:38.680 Did you just steal that

01:23:39.540 from Luis Gomez?

01:23:40.680 I swear that's his story.

01:23:42.180 No, I did that

01:23:42.880 that happened

01:23:43.440 100%

01:23:44.720 I don't know

01:23:46.480 I think she got like a B

01:23:47.760 or some shit like that

01:23:48.840 and that was just like

01:23:49.380 me just off the cuff

01:23:50.380 just writing a paper

01:23:51.180 You got a B

01:23:52.360 So fast forward

01:23:53.460 it's like the winter break

01:23:55.340 after

01:23:55.700 so we really weren't talking

01:23:57.220 very much

01:23:57.680 like I kind of moved on

01:23:58.840 to a different girl

01:23:59.540 and I get back home

01:24:02.440 and then like

01:24:03.340 she's like one to start

01:24:04.180 hooking up again

01:24:04.880 so I go like

01:24:05.760 meet with her

01:24:06.340 She's in heat

01:24:06.980 she's horny

01:24:07.780 she wants to hook up again

01:24:08.900 It's rutting season

01:24:09.600 I go to her house

01:24:10.220 and then like

01:24:10.900 I was like

01:24:11.380 Rubbing season

01:24:12.420 like we start

01:24:13.180 now we're at

01:24:14.620 Rutting

01:24:15.340 you cosmopolitan fuck

01:24:16.960 Rubbing season

01:24:18.120 is a great title name though

01:24:19.640 that's like

01:24:20.200 she's in heat

01:24:21.380 he's about to rub

01:24:21.980 That's in reference to deer

01:24:23.520 if you ever hunted

01:24:24.520 you would know this

01:24:25.240 So we start

01:24:28.160 messing around some more

01:24:29.160 and then I go to her house

01:24:30.760 and we're all alone

01:24:31.400 and I was like

01:24:31.940 fuck it

01:24:32.280 we'll just fuck

01:24:32.840 I'll lose my virginity today

01:24:34.360 so we go into her room

01:24:36.620 and like we're both naked

01:24:38.000 and I'm about to put in

01:24:38.940 and I just nut

01:24:39.660 like before I even get in

01:24:40.540 this is my first time

01:24:41.780 Oh my god

01:24:45.140 Even knowing

01:24:50.400 that that pussy stank

01:24:52.000 Dude you're like

01:24:53.220 legitimately one of the most

01:24:54.460 pathetic dudes

01:24:55.060 I've ever met

01:24:55.620 This is like

01:24:57.720 this is like

01:24:58.480 18 year old cold

01:24:59.540 You got your wife

01:25:00.380 in the chat's

01:25:01.000 pussies progressively

01:25:02.120 getting drier

01:25:02.840 she's like

01:25:03.520 this is pathetic

01:25:04.280 in the chat

01:25:05.120 Honestly

01:25:06.020 she's probably

01:25:06.700 she's probably into it

01:25:07.540 because this is like

01:25:08.080 cold humiliation

01:25:09.000 this is her thing

01:25:09.760 She's gonna knock you

01:25:11.980 the fuck out

01:25:12.600 after this show

01:25:13.360 So whatever

01:25:13.620 after that happened

01:25:15.920 I actually

01:25:16.800 I tell her

01:25:17.940 no I'm not gonna date you again

01:25:19.760 I'm gonna be

01:25:20.700 with a different girl

01:25:21.360 so move on

01:25:22.040 to the next like summer

01:25:23.260 so I'm with Elizabeth

01:25:24.320 by now

01:25:24.780 like we're dating

01:25:25.940 in the summer

01:25:26.820 so she like

01:25:28.260 Wait a minute

01:25:29.820 you prematurely ejaculated

01:25:31.880 then you were like

01:25:32.400 I'm not gonna see you

01:25:33.300 anymore

01:25:33.620 I'm done with you

01:25:36.520 That's kind of

01:25:37.920 that's kind of boss move

01:25:39.180 right there

01:25:39.580 Where did you come?

01:25:40.460 You know what?

01:25:40.940 I don't even want to put it in

01:25:42.080 I don't even want to put it in

01:25:43.500 I basically like

01:25:44.400 now we had been like

01:25:45.580 messing around like

01:25:46.180 before this for like

01:25:47.480 30 minutes

01:25:48.380 so it wasn't like

01:25:49.200 premature exact

01:25:49.840 I just didn't

01:25:50.440 I didn't come inside

01:25:51.520 I never got inside

01:25:52.340 I didn't come on her leg

01:25:53.400 you came right before

01:25:54.660 you went inside

01:25:55.360 Did she blow you at least?

01:25:57.260 No?

01:25:58.120 No

01:25:58.400 She may have

01:26:00.100 like a little bit

01:26:00.520 No I don't think she did

01:26:01.460 Blowing means nothing to Cole

01:26:03.980 You were not the different girl

01:26:06.600 at the time

01:26:07.140 You were not the different girl

01:26:08.100 at the time

01:26:08.360 not at this time

01:26:09.020 Then I'm saying

01:26:09.800 like I met

01:26:10.600 me and Elizabeth

01:26:11.260 started dating

01:26:11.800 in

01:26:12.540 April

01:26:16.100 You better get this right

01:26:18.520 or you will die

01:26:19.340 I know

01:26:19.640 April 4th

01:26:20.220 Josie just said

01:26:20.820 the words in this letter

01:26:21.800 are smeared

01:26:22.300 with my gum

01:26:23.080 So

01:26:24.520 in that summer

01:26:26.600 the summer

01:26:27.240 like she

01:26:27.980 she gets one of my friends

01:26:29.380 to make like

01:26:30.460 like

01:26:31.040 I come see one of my friends

01:26:32.520 and like

01:26:33.680 she's there

01:26:34.180 He does have a wet ass mouth

01:26:35.440 like when he was sitting here

01:26:36.920 he was just like

01:26:37.960 and you could see

01:26:39.280 like just like

01:26:39.820 glistening on the sides

01:26:41.040 from the gummy bears

01:26:41.840 You know why?

01:26:42.280 Because he's got gummy bears

01:26:43.140 up in his motherfucker

01:26:43.760 We gotta do at least

01:26:44.860 one mailbag

01:26:45.640 before we bounce

01:26:46.440 to go to the penthouse

01:26:47.240 and then we can talk

01:26:47.880 maybe in the penthouse

01:26:48.900 we can talk more

01:26:49.560 You know what?

01:26:50.000 I don't fucking think so

01:26:51.460 I wouldn't watch this video

01:26:53.200 I was about to drop

01:26:54.880 I was about to drop something

01:26:56.100 I was about to drop something

01:26:56.120 I was about to finish the story

01:26:57.340 Yeah

01:26:57.660 Okay wait up

01:26:58.620 let's finish the story

01:26:59.460 So it comes to the summer

01:27:00.980 and a friend of mine

01:27:02.440 that was a friend of me

01:27:03.320 and Elizabeth

01:27:03.660 whatever

01:27:04.120 she makes

01:27:05.460 just outside stuff

01:27:07.920 she makes me come see her

01:27:09.500 and then she brings on

01:27:10.700 my ex-girlfriend

01:27:11.420 because they're friends now

01:27:12.380 and like

01:27:13.360 and then like

01:27:14.000 so she makes us talk

01:27:14.900 and she accused me

01:27:16.540 that I raped her

01:27:17.440 during that time

01:27:18.180 when I

01:27:18.580 Dude she Chris Hansen'd you

01:27:20.280 Holy shit

01:27:21.580 and like

01:27:22.200 and I was like

01:27:22.640 no I didn't

01:27:23.400 and she was like

01:27:24.060 yeah you did

01:27:24.580 you raped me

01:27:25.220 and I was like

01:27:25.720 no

01:27:26.600 we

01:27:27.080 it was completely consensual

01:27:29.040 and then nothing came out of that

01:27:29.940 but like yeah

01:27:30.380 she 100% said that to me

01:27:31.600 and like never like

01:27:32.500 You just gaslit a bitch

01:27:33.920 and you've done it to the extent

01:27:34.980 to where you buy it now

01:27:36.040 Yeah

01:27:36.520 she tried to gaslight me

01:27:38.040 into that

01:27:38.460 and I was like

01:27:39.000 no

01:27:39.460 I was like

01:27:39.880 it was completely consensual

01:27:41.020 we were like

01:27:41.480 But are you

01:27:42.000 maybe you're the gaslighter

01:27:43.920 I don't know

01:27:44.320 maybe

01:27:44.520 I don't know

01:27:44.860 but I was like

01:27:45.380 I did not

01:27:46.180 I did not rape her

01:27:46.800 Maybe you blacked out

01:27:47.620 and did rape her

01:27:48.840 No

01:27:49.160 I never entered her

01:27:50.500 No you see

01:27:51.580 Cole

01:27:52.580 Cole's just able to conceive

01:27:54.620 of a world

01:27:55.200 where he did not rape her

01:27:56.020 I don't think she can send you

01:27:57.140 nutting on her leg

01:27:58.020 Maybe so

01:27:59.300 Maybe that's what it was

01:28:00.220 I'm 100% confident

01:28:02.640 that Cole is not a rapist

01:28:04.100 By the way

01:28:05.000 this is after

01:28:05.500 she didn't confront me

01:28:06.880 that I raped her

01:28:07.400 she confronted me

01:28:08.000 with like

01:28:08.340 you should get back with me

01:28:10.120 and like

01:28:10.800 and leave your current girlfriend

01:28:12.080 to get back with me

01:28:13.080 I know what happened

01:28:13.780 and then I was like

01:28:14.560 no I'm not gonna do that

01:28:15.400 no I'm not gonna do that

01:28:16.060 no I'm gonna do that

01:28:16.540 Oh and then she was like

01:28:17.640 you raped me

01:28:18.400 She

01:28:18.500 No no no

01:28:19.880 What actually happened

01:28:20.740 is she raped Cole

01:28:21.980 and he's traumatized by it

01:28:23.540 and like

01:28:23.900 putting it out of his memory

01:28:25.180 I said

01:28:25.580 I said she was a sociopath

01:28:26.780 I'm changing it

01:28:27.680 she's a psychopath

01:28:28.360 That's crazy

01:28:29.400 Yeah

01:28:29.960 She clawed you

01:28:31.580 Alright read the mailbacks

01:28:33.080 At least do one

01:28:34.720 then we can go to the penthouse

01:28:35.760 Mark Vestibule

01:28:36.880 Alright Mark Vestibule

01:28:38.040 Mark Vestibule

01:28:39.420 Toad is on life support

01:28:40.840 the doctors don't know

01:28:41.760 I pulled the plug

01:28:42.160 His brain is in

01:28:43.720 Next question

01:28:44.380 It's costing you $200

01:28:46.380 to get it alive

01:28:47.480 Pull it back up

01:28:48.780 Pull it back up

01:28:49.240 How long do you wait

01:28:50.460 to pull the plug

01:28:51.260 Great question Mark Vestibule

01:28:54.540 Let's run some math

01:28:55.340 I think Clint's our

01:28:56.160 Clint's our numbers guy

01:28:57.140 So how many days

01:28:58.580 realistically could the show

01:28:59.760 like afford to keep him alive

01:29:02.900 Actually good plus

01:29:04.680 A month would be

01:29:05.520 A month would be

01:29:06.300 But what's the downside

01:29:07.760 A month would be 30 days

01:29:08.680 That's six grand

01:29:09.260 What's the downside

01:29:09.580 I'm dead and you keep your money

01:29:11.080 Toad shut up

01:29:11.640 You're dead in this scenario

01:29:12.560 We're discussing it

01:29:13.420 What are you saying Clint?

01:29:14.380 Honestly you have to pay me

01:29:15.740 $200 a day

01:29:16.520 To keep him alive

01:29:16.940 It's six grand a month

01:29:17.780 I don't know how much

01:29:18.700 we have in the show budget

01:29:20.140 Probably not that much

01:29:20.560 The show makes

01:29:20.940 I don't even know

01:29:22.180 $300 maybe a month

01:29:23.820 Maybe

01:29:24.140 $300

01:29:25.100 So a day and a half

01:29:26.660 You can actually go to

01:29:26.880 You can go to Patreon

01:29:29.120 Go to Patreon right now

01:29:30.900 Scan the fucking QR code

01:29:32.940 And you can help us

01:29:34.680 keep Toad alive

01:29:35.300 You can keep Toad alive longer

01:29:36.640 If you just become

01:29:37.680 a supporter of the show

01:29:38.360 That's beautiful actually

01:29:39.660 Because the answer

01:29:40.260 to that question

01:29:40.760 is whatever we make

01:29:41.680 in one month off the show

01:29:42.860 Yeah

01:29:43.520 Like I said

01:29:46.040 I think you were

01:29:48.200 to pay me $200

01:29:49.220 to keep Toad alive

01:29:50.440 If he was in that

01:29:51.120 I'd be like

01:29:52.000 I would keep him alive

01:29:54.140 I feel like

01:29:55.140 Honestly

01:29:55.640 Regardless of whether

01:29:56.740 or not they decide

01:29:57.400 to support our show

01:29:58.280 A day and a half

01:29:59.720 is probably fair

01:30:00.740 If he doesn't snap out of it

01:30:02.360 That's true

01:30:03.400 At a certain point

01:30:03.780 it's pretty clear

01:30:04.800 that brain damage

01:30:07.240 is too extensive

01:30:07.820 That'd be the doctor

01:30:09.380 to be like

01:30:09.680 No it's usually

01:30:10.360 these things

01:30:10.680 last about a week

01:30:11.460 and you're like

01:30:11.780 pull the plug man

01:30:12.920 That's about as long

01:30:13.800 As long as I can do

01:30:15.500 in Boston

01:30:16.000 The first 48 hours

01:30:16.620 Haven't you ever

01:30:17.060 watched the show?

01:30:18.120 How long would you

01:30:18.980 want to be on

01:30:19.540 Life Support Toad?

01:30:23.940 I'd want to just die

01:30:25.060 We'll respect his wishes

01:30:27.560 Not even a minute?

01:30:29.080 Not even a day?

01:30:30.160 Does anybody have

01:30:30.640 a minute looked into

01:30:31.240 I don't want to be

01:30:31.560 that motherfucker

01:30:32.140 Dude

01:30:32.380 I was thinking

01:30:33.760 when I was

01:30:34.400 20

01:30:35.240 what was I

01:30:36.020 26

01:30:36.420 whatever it was

01:30:37.320 I was

01:30:37.940 in the hospital

01:30:39.560 for five days

01:30:40.440 in a stroke ward

01:30:41.700 So I was surrounded

01:30:43.280 by all these

01:30:43.840 fucking motherfuckers

01:30:44.700 Do you wish

01:30:45.500 that you died

01:30:46.220 in the stroke ward?

01:30:47.440 They're all up on

01:30:47.460 life support

01:30:47.960 Sometimes

01:30:49.160 Alright

01:30:52.660 that's your show guys

01:30:53.680 Dude

01:30:54.620 I have one

01:30:56.340 pretty bad story

01:30:57.840 from the stroke ward

01:30:58.880 Alright

01:30:59.240 off the penthouse

01:31:00.100 Tell them in the penthouse

01:31:02.160 I want to hear it

01:31:03.100 Yeah

01:31:03.400 You really don't

01:31:04.720 Toad stories in the penthouse

01:31:05.960 Hey everybody

01:31:06.640 hit the like button

01:31:07.260 This episode gets deleted

01:31:08.160 in like four or five days

01:31:09.260 but still hit the like button

01:31:10.180 It'll help with the algos

01:31:11.100 See you guys next week

01:31:11.560 And uh

01:31:12.240 Hold on

01:31:12.820 Where is the

01:31:13.440 Wait

01:31:13.680 Before we go

01:31:14.600 Yeah you can scan

01:31:15.680 that fucking QR code

01:31:16.720 I'm gonna pull it back up

01:31:17.660 There it is

01:31:18.620 It's right there

01:31:19.360 Give us money

01:31:20.140 And meet us in the fucking

01:31:21.500 The penthouse

01:31:22.600 The penthouse

01:31:22.940 What is it called?

01:31:23.720 It's called the penthouse

01:31:24.280 The penthouse

01:31:24.740 And the stroke ward

01:31:25.920 is not the room

01:31:26.520 that I masturbate in

01:31:27.480 We're not gonna let him tell

01:31:28.580 We're not letting him

01:31:29.460 tell the stroke story there

01:31:30.420 We're gonna do destiny

01:31:31.380 and we're gonna do mailbag

01:31:32.600 We're all gonna fuck destiny

01:31:34.300 It's crazy because like

01:31:35.940 I look at Cole

01:31:36.720 and I'm like

01:31:37.160 This dude fucks for sure

01:31:39.040 But like

01:31:39.560 His stories

01:31:40.460 are basically

01:31:41.520 like as bad

01:31:42.500 as what I would expect

01:31:43.240 Toad to tell

01:31:43.800 It's so sad

01:31:44.240 Isn't it crazy?

01:31:44.760 Dude I feel

01:31:45.440 a lot better about myself

01:31:46.920 actually

01:31:47.300 You know what

01:31:47.820 Don't pull the plug on me

01:31:49.580 It's the Tower Power Hour slut

01:31:53.120 It's the Tower Power Hour bitch

01:31:54.780 No way Jose

01:31:55.880 Liberty Lockdown

01:31:57.440 It's the Tower Power Hour

01:31:58.560 Clint

01:31:58.800 Bitch

01:31:59.320 Reed

01:32:00.480 Cole

01:32:03.140 Top Lobster

01:32:05.240 and Toad

01:32:06.180 Tower Gang

01:32:07.440 Tower Gang

01:32:07.940 Tower Gang

01:32:08.440 Tower Gang

01:32:08.980 Tower Gang

01:32:09.960 Tower Gang

01:32:10.480 Tower Gang

01:32:10.960 Liberty Lock

01:32:11.780 is TruthAe

01:32:12.660 Same with

01:32:13.520 Lobster

01:32:14.000 Cole

01:32:14.300 and Jose

01:32:14.920 Toad

01:32:15.860 Toad

01:32:15.900 is sick

01:32:16.280 no way

01:32:16.820 Jose

01:32:17.280 It's the Tower Power Hour slut

01:32:19.040 Pay me Derek Smith, all his t но C

01:32:34.620 thwk hard to line up the syllables.

01:32:41.480 I mean I

01:32:45.040 i mean I, that's all, folks!

01:32:47.040 You

Tower Gang - July 25, 2024

Ep 187 - Tardkour

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