Tower Gang - Ep 189 - Machete Hand

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00:00:12.340 Hashtag make a play.

00:00:15.320 First, I want to read these to you.

00:00:17.220 This is Riley Gaines.

00:00:18.080 She said the following on X.

00:00:19.440 Men in wigs, front and center at the Olympic Games.

00:00:22.280 No one ever tell me this group is oppressed or marginalized again.

00:00:26.380 Elon Musk, this was extremely disrespectful to Christians.

00:00:30.260 Radio host Clint Russell X said, on X said, there are 2.4 billion Christians on Earth.

00:00:35.660 And apparently the Olympics wanted to declare loudly to all of them right out of the gate, not welcome.

00:00:41.620 See this?

00:00:42.680 That means not welcome. 0.99

00:00:44.940 You got balls with biggest choice bells. 1.00

00:00:49.240 The city's retarded. 1.00

00:00:49.980 The city's retarded. 1.00

00:00:50.900 This is how it gets Wednesday, motherfuckers. 1.00

00:00:54.340 What's up, retards? 1.00

00:00:55.620 I want to listen to music from the hood. 0.94

00:01:00.740 I don't ever want to step foot in it.

00:01:02.480 Yes.

00:01:02.760 Right.

00:01:05.060 I've been replying for another one. 0.93

00:01:07.280 And in the background of mine, I was like, it would be me that gets retarded, baby. 0.88

00:01:10.540 But it would be so cool.

00:01:12.060 And I'm like...

00:01:13.060 You and your dad... 0.99

00:01:13.620 Why are we talking about f*** on this show? 1.00

00:01:27.280 Whoa! 0.99

00:01:29.960 Oh, that's too far.

00:01:32.420 I'm asking a question.

00:01:33.960 I'm asking a question.

00:01:36.300 Start.

00:01:37.620 Whoa, with the feet. 1.00

00:01:38.880 Skip the pussy. 1.00

00:01:40.040 Skip it. 1.00

00:01:40.720 It's not what this show is about. 1.00

00:01:42.300 This shit is retarded. 1.00

00:01:50.080 Oh, man. 1.00

00:01:51.600 9-15 Wednesday, bitch. 1.00

00:01:53.180 What's up? 1.00

00:01:53.760 It's Tower Gang. 1.00

00:01:54.900 You spick bastards. 1.00

00:01:56.660 Did you say it's Wednesday? 1.00

00:01:58.320 Yes.

00:01:59.940 Just Wednesday in all of our hearts, man.

00:02:01.640 I have Lovian responses.

00:02:02.700 Feels like Wednesday to me.

00:02:04.080 Although, as I pointed out, the actual 9-11 was on a Tuesday.

00:02:07.640 You know what's funny?

00:02:08.480 The people who listen to this, because there's like 10,000 people that listen to this.

00:02:12.120 And maybe a little bit less, but like via audio, they'll watch it later.

00:02:15.700 No idea.

00:02:16.240 It's not Wednesday.

00:02:17.180 Yeah.

00:02:17.460 No clue.

00:02:18.060 Actually, nobody knows.

00:02:19.760 It's Wednesday.

00:02:21.000 It's Wednesday, guys.

00:02:21.940 This is for the people in the future.

00:02:24.600 That edit was hilarious with Clint at the beginning.

00:02:27.580 I was like, oh, yeah, they were going to play the Fox News thing.

00:02:30.000 And they just came in with the...

00:02:32.000 Ed Norton from American History X.

00:02:35.120 That's so great.

00:02:36.540 I do laugh at you.

00:02:39.260 You need a change.

00:02:40.840 No, I'm not going to change.

00:02:41.680 What are you talking about changing? 1.00

00:02:42.840 Fuck you. 1.00

00:02:43.720 Your profile picture is so funny. 1.00

00:02:46.100 I'm going to change mine to that.

00:02:47.340 It's just that on Fox News is the funniest thing to go from Elon Musk to a guy like...

00:02:50.880 Clint Russell said... 1.00

00:02:52.460 This fucking schmuck. 1.00

00:02:56.020 I love it. 1.00

00:02:57.620 I think it's great.

00:02:59.140 I just think it's funny from the perspective of some boomer watching that. 0.99

00:03:02.540 And then some fucking huge bag. 0.99

00:03:05.160 Because that's how they see it. 1.00

00:03:06.600 Look at this fucking bitch. 1.00

00:03:07.660 Because they 100% think that's just a white rapper. 1.00

00:03:11.780 I mean, are they not?

00:03:12.620 That's what you're first...

00:03:13.700 That's why he has such a following.

00:03:14.480 And they're not wrong. 0.99

00:03:15.540 Yeah, because they look at that profile picture like, holy shit. 0.99

00:03:18.180 That's like Wigur Riz right there. 0.98

00:03:20.160 We should show...

00:03:21.060 This is actually a good clip.

00:03:23.860 Dude, all right.

00:03:24.600 We go to the villages.

00:03:26.060 We bring just the clip of Clint there.

00:03:28.660 And there's a lot of pro-Trump people.

00:03:30.240 They love them.

00:03:30.860 And they're old.

00:03:31.760 And I'll just show them on a tablet.

00:03:33.100 They'll be like, did you see this segment?

00:03:34.820 What do you think about this?

00:03:35.760 And they'll look at it.

00:03:36.480 And then just quiz them.

00:03:37.700 What do you think that last guy was?

00:03:39.620 And just see what they say. 0.99

00:03:41.160 I would love to fucking... 1.00

00:03:42.620 Do you think he fucks? 1.00

00:03:45.160 Definitely fucks. 1.00

00:03:46.240 Look, let's be honest. 0.99

00:03:47.100 My market is not like boomer cons.

00:03:50.720 Yeah, but what about village boomer cons?

00:03:53.140 You should do that.

00:03:54.420 You should be the one walking around with the tiny microphone, man on the street,

00:03:57.640 showing them a video of yourself, making that clip.

00:04:00.080 And asking them what they think about the third guy.

00:04:01.920 Because it kind of doesn't look like you.

00:04:03.820 No, it doesn't.

00:04:04.760 No, it really doesn't look like you.

00:04:06.640 It's kind of...

00:04:07.320 I know.

00:04:08.240 You need to go back to your original Twitter profile picture.

00:04:12.180 I just realized... 1.00

00:04:13.640 The fat chick with the big old titties. 1.00

00:04:15.360 I feel like podcast him actually does market really well, especially video to boomers. 0.98

00:04:21.060 But his profile pic does not market well to boomers.

00:04:24.800 There's something there.

00:04:25.720 There's some premise there.

00:04:27.420 What would you use?

00:04:28.480 Because people do different...

00:04:29.420 That's interesting.

00:04:30.580 People do the different funny things for the microphones.

00:04:33.760 Maybe not like neocom boomers, but... 0.99

00:04:35.180 Like the microphone handle.

00:04:36.420 Like I know...

00:04:36.900 How would Clint do with this picture as his main picture?

00:04:40.420 Not as well.

00:04:41.700 Not as well. 0.99

00:04:42.320 They wouldn't give a fuck, I don't think. 0.99

00:04:44.040 People would be repelled by Ian. 0.99

00:04:45.700 I'm more attracted to that picture.

00:04:51.340 I'm not even lying.

00:04:53.000 That's not even a joke.

00:04:54.660 This picture here lacks a lot of Clint things.

00:04:56.940 Like you want to be really Clint.

00:04:59.380 No. 1.00

00:05:00.340 To me, it adds more Clint things because he's showing his penis. 1.00

00:05:03.620 What? 1.00

00:05:04.620 It's a picture of me. 1.00

00:05:07.240 What the fuck are you talking about? 1.00

00:05:08.240 You have to think of yourself in the abstract. 1.00

00:05:10.140 This lacks the Clint quality.

00:05:12.640 Clint, get this picture again,

00:05:14.300 but with your gray sweatpants on.

00:05:17.160 Wear a beanie.

00:05:18.680 Be even more Clint and do the point. 1.00

00:05:21.420 And then put it as your fucking... 0.99

00:05:23.340 Do the point. 1.00

00:05:24.400 With your dick flopping everywhere. 1.00

00:05:27.060 Well, this is why. 1.00

00:05:27.740 This pic, unlike his profile picture,

00:05:29.600 this pic does not have the essence of cozy.

00:05:32.800 No, that pic definitely is more cozy.

00:05:35.200 That looks way more cozy.

00:05:37.080 This is Clint after he's made even more money somehow.

00:05:40.880 That is the most genuine smile I think I've ever seen of him.

00:05:43.180 That is true.

00:05:43.880 That is a very genuine smile.

00:05:45.900 What I was going to ask is...

00:05:47.420 Was this before or after all of the very meanness from Luke?

00:05:53.500 This was two years ago.

00:05:55.320 This was the first time I met Luke.

00:05:56.740 Oh, this is, oh my God, I'm meeting Luke.

00:05:59.340 Oh my God.

00:06:00.280 Oh no.

00:06:01.300 This is the Luke honeymoon phase.

00:06:05.000 That's why.

00:06:06.180 You went on a honeymoon phase with the dude that you're...

00:06:09.000 And you're like, believe this?

00:06:10.280 Ian Crossan's to my right.

00:06:11.520 We forget that they're Eskimo bros.

00:06:15.700 We forget that they're Eskimo bros.

00:06:17.120 This must play more.

00:06:19.120 And that was before you guys ever met.

00:06:21.860 Yeah.

00:06:22.580 Dude, that changes the dynamic entirely here.

00:06:26.740 How could I have known?

00:06:28.800 That's true.

00:06:29.280 Yeah.

00:06:29.480 What I was going to ask is, if you're going to do the man on the street thing, I remember

00:06:33.160 all of them have the weird handle that they put the microphone on, or they do something

00:06:36.740 with the microphone.

00:06:37.660 I remember Fleckus Talks, if you ever watched him, he has a wooden spoon.

00:06:41.500 I want to know what Clint would use as the handle to put it in their face with the tiny

00:06:45.580 microphone on it.

00:06:46.360 I feel like if you just put it on the end of my fist, and just hold my fist on it.

00:06:50.480 A Kratom mug would be really funny.

00:06:52.360 It's just a...

00:06:53.140 You live in Miami, so I feel like this actually wouldn't be that hard to do on the street 0.79

00:06:57.840 stuff occasionally, like on the weekend if you're bored or some shit. 0.82

00:07:00.860 If you just came up with good premises, because I'm assuming you go to the beach and shit, 0.97

00:07:04.160 right? 0.99

00:07:05.240 No.

00:07:05.880 No?

00:07:06.300 Oh, you don't ever go to the beach?

00:07:07.460 Even though you're mine?

00:07:08.040 Okay, well, never mind.

00:07:08.660 Clint's like, it's an inch away from me.

00:07:10.480 I literally have waterfront property, but I never set foot on the beach.

00:07:14.040 Correct.

00:07:14.340 Okay, fair enough.

00:07:15.400 I get it. 0.99

00:07:15.920 I feel like the beach is full of just sluts. 1.00

00:07:19.340 Yeah, whores and homeless people. 1.00

00:07:21.740 Those are the ones you want to talk to. 1.00

00:07:23.040 Whores and homeless people. 1.00

00:07:24.220 You can get a lot of good content. 0.99

00:07:24.960 Actually, that is a great man on the street type of thing.

00:07:29.720 Those are the best content.

00:07:32.600 You could be the next interviewer of a hot to a girl. 0.99

00:07:36.380 But no one knows who the fuck that guy was. 0.99

00:07:37.880 No, nobody knows who he was. 0.99

00:07:38.500 I do.

00:07:38.800 It's a black dude, actually.

00:07:39.920 It's a black guy.

00:07:41.020 You know what it's like?

00:07:41.920 No one knows that.

00:07:42.680 Look, he's not even in this picture.

00:07:43.920 He has like a milli followers on YouTube. 0.95

00:07:47.080 You guys ever seen the fucking music video for Michael Jackson where he has Macaulay Culkin 0.98

00:07:50.520 come in and do the rap part to whatever this song is? 0.99

00:07:53.160 It's like black or white or some shit like that. 0.99

00:07:54.740 Is that after he fucks him? 0.99

00:07:55.600 I do remember it. 0.97

00:07:57.000 You remember that?

00:07:57.560 But it's a black dude. 0.98

00:07:57.980 Before or after he fucks Macaulay Culkin? 0.99

00:07:59.800 During all through. 0.81

00:08:00.840 All the same.

00:08:01.700 Macaulay Culkin?

00:08:04.600 Macaulay Culkin.

00:08:05.700 Macaulay Culkin.

00:08:06.600 Macaulay Culkin.

00:08:07.080 Anyway, listen.

00:08:08.280 So this guy raps his...

00:08:09.600 He do be milking him.

00:08:11.200 Go ahead. 0.99

00:08:11.520 He gets a fucking bar on Michael Jackson's song right in the middle. 1.00

00:08:15.160 Raps his whole shit. 1.00

00:08:16.460 And then for the music video, Michael Jackson has Macaulay Culkin lip-sing this black dude 1.00

00:08:20.660 shit. 0.99

00:08:21.440 That's like the level of who's that black dude that interviewed Hawk Tua? 1.00

00:08:25.420 Same way who's that black dude that once rapped on Michael Jackson's song. 0.56

00:08:28.560 No one cares.

00:08:29.480 No one knows.

00:08:30.040 No one cares.

00:08:30.960 Macaulay Culkin sounds like a horse. 0.88

00:08:32.540 Macaulay Culkin is white, but yeah. 0.52

00:08:33.940 Macaulay Culkin.

00:08:35.860 Doesn't that though...

00:08:36.900 Doesn't that make it even more suspicious that like her rise... 0.74

00:08:41.100 And she's like legitimate famous now.

00:08:43.420 Her rise...

00:08:44.280 We can't even remember the guy that interviewed her?

00:08:47.200 I don't know.

00:08:48.100 Everyone wants to say she's AstroTurf, but the little bit I've checked her out, she 1.00

00:08:50.800 seems super genuine and just some dumb broad who made a funny joke. 0.97

00:08:54.480 I agree with that. 0.93

00:08:55.120 I did see the guy's Instagram and YouTube.

00:08:58.020 He has a huge YouTube following.

00:09:01.280 She has an entire marketing firm behind her. 1.00

00:09:04.060 Now she does.

00:09:05.040 She actually was way behind on the curve and she didn't make any marketing. 1.00

00:09:10.020 I don't think you understand.

00:09:11.280 People see money signs when people go viral.

00:09:13.860 How can you say she's not AstroTurf then?

00:09:17.060 AstroTurf is that it happened beforehand and they bring her up and they were like, okay,

00:09:21.380 we're going to...

00:09:21.880 How long has she been working with these companies?

00:09:24.280 I don't know.

00:09:25.340 She signed right after.

00:09:26.600 Yeah, she missed a huge window of money-making opportunity because everyone capitalized

00:09:32.360 it first.

00:09:33.140 She deleted her whole social media beforehand.

00:09:36.100 She didn't have a social media.

00:09:37.300 Why would she not have a social media but that she's AstroTurf? 1.00

00:09:40.320 She's refusing to talk politics. 1.00

00:09:42.200 Why would a girl not have a social media? 1.00

00:09:44.040 She didn't feel AstroTurf.

00:09:44.700 Hold on.

00:09:45.600 Why would a girl not have at least an Instagram? 1.00

00:09:48.440 She's just a ghost? 0.99

00:09:49.580 I think she...

00:09:50.060 No, she used to have one and she said she got rid of it. 1.00

00:09:53.260 That fucking sounds like bullshit to me. 0.99

00:09:54.420 I think it's just such a clippable thing that it went super viral on things like TikTok 1.00

00:09:57.980 and Instagram.

00:09:59.040 And I had normal people that I knew that knew about it.

00:10:01.820 But it didn't feel AstroTurf. 0.99

00:10:03.160 A little bit I've listened to her talk and shit, it just seems... 0.98

00:10:06.060 It's the same thing as the... 0.99

00:10:06.840 She deleted it when she went viral, I think.

00:10:08.660 You can basically say the same thing about every person that goes insanely viral.

00:10:13.160 Go back to the Bedroom Invader guy that... 0.63

00:10:16.400 Yeah.

00:10:17.820 Antoine Dodson.

00:10:18.160 Antoine Dodson.

00:10:18.920 Antoine Dodson, which he started...

00:10:20.600 He lives right here, yeah.

00:10:21.360 Yeah, he actually...

00:10:22.340 Actually, I think he's in jail now. 0.98

00:10:25.340 Do you rape? 1.00

00:10:25.820 But he had a bunch of... 0.98

00:10:29.200 And that was back at the beginning of YouTube.

00:10:31.220 That was like...

00:10:31.860 This is the age gap between us because everything you've just been talking about, I don't care

00:10:36.600 at all about.

00:10:37.560 Don't care.

00:10:38.060 Don't even know.

00:10:38.760 I don't care at all.

00:10:39.860 Honestly, if that Haley, whatever her name... 1.00

00:10:41.560 I don't even know what her name is.

00:10:42.700 If she wanted to come on this show, I'd be like, I don't want to.

00:10:45.960 No, I don't want her on the show.

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00:10:59.740 Hashtag make a play.

00:11:02.520 No.

00:11:03.520 We know a lot of white women. 1.00

00:11:04.420 She's obviously more famous than any of us combined times 10, but I don't care.

00:11:08.560 She seems like a sweet girl, but she's not funny and she's not interesting. 0.96

00:11:11.460 It would do numbers, though. 0.99

00:11:12.620 She literally just gives very gratuitous blowjobs and congrats. 1.00

00:11:17.540 I don't think she really does. 1.00

00:11:19.240 I think she's just said some funny shit. 0.99

00:11:21.000 I think maybe she's done it once. 0.99

00:11:22.240 Maybe.

00:11:22.860 When she said that, it reminded me of me.

00:11:25.660 It was like she was being asked a question about sex, but she didn't know what she was

00:11:28.780 talking about.

00:11:29.420 I feel like this episode would be relevant a month ago.

00:11:33.020 Well, that's what Tower Gang's about.

00:11:34.460 We bring you the news a month later.

00:11:36.380 No, I think because we did talk about it because I found it really early on.

00:11:41.400 And I sent it to y'all.

00:11:43.000 Yes, I did.

00:11:44.180 Yeah, we talked about it and we just kind of brushed it off.

00:11:47.220 I do think Cole was ahead of the curve here.

00:11:49.260 I was ahead of the curve on this.

00:11:51.020 And I was like, huh?

00:11:51.960 That's funny.

00:11:52.560 And then everyone else in the world was like, huh?

00:11:53.920 That's funny.

00:11:54.380 He found it three hours before the rest of the world.

00:11:56.180 I've been ahead of the curve on multiple viral things.

00:11:59.560 And I've sent it to the chat.

00:12:01.040 And then it's like the next five days later, it'll get a million views on Twitter or something

00:12:06.900 like that.

00:12:07.000 Why aren't you posting it then? 1.00

00:12:08.480 You fucking retard. 1.00

00:12:09.240 I would. 1.00

00:12:09.780 I was posting.

00:12:10.980 There's one that I posted.

00:12:12.720 And then I can't remember.

00:12:13.680 It was just another meme page post.

00:12:14.980 The same exact clip.

00:12:16.360 Actually, I think it was my clip.

00:12:18.540 They just took my clip and posted it again from Twitter.

00:12:21.720 And it got 10x, 100x my views. 0.99

00:12:26.140 And I was like, okay, fuck this. 0.99

00:12:27.980 See, this is the thing about Cole. 1.00

00:12:29.940 I'll grant you, yeah, you are online in the deepest, darkest realms of virality. 1.00

00:12:35.700 But just fucking post the shit so you can actually get an audience. 1.00

00:12:38.620 Call me the zeitgeist, baby. 1.00

00:12:40.420 I got my finger on the pulse of the culture.

00:12:45.880 He's gone viral like six times.

00:12:48.160 He's gone viral like six times since we told him to do this.

00:12:51.280 And then he stopped doing it.

00:12:52.560 Yeah, he just gets bored. 1.00

00:12:53.280 He did one episode of his fucking show. 1.00

00:12:55.820 I do have. 1.00

00:12:57.040 I do have.

00:13:00.280 Which one's Cole?

00:13:02.480 I do have a job.

00:13:05.200 I don't think you understand this. 0.98

00:13:06.120 I do have an actual day job that I have to fucking do. 0.99

00:13:08.920 I don't believe it. 0.96

00:13:09.820 The thing is, though, what?

00:13:11.420 And an 18, 19-month-old that I take care of.

00:13:14.400 You see the video, you like it.

00:13:15.320 Why not just post it?

00:13:18.000 Usually I'll like, because I don't know.

00:13:20.100 Sometimes it's just, I feel like it's just, I don't know.

00:13:23.240 Oh, no, no.

00:13:23.800 These are the steps to post an Instagram video.

00:13:25.620 Hold on.

00:13:26.220 You see it?

00:13:27.340 There's a button that you can press to share.

00:13:29.020 You can copy the link.

00:13:30.720 Download it.

00:13:31.160 Put it in another app and download it.

00:13:33.480 There's a couple of steps.

00:13:34.160 It doesn't even cross his mind.

00:13:34.880 By the way, it's not.

00:13:35.720 He literally goes through, uh-huh, uh-huh.

00:13:39.280 And then just later, it's like, oh, that's probably pretty good.

00:13:40.900 I'll tell you, it's even easier than what you're saying it is, because you can download

00:13:44.280 straight from the Instagram app.

00:13:47.520 And so I can literally go click, and then you hit the share button on there, and there's

00:13:53.040 a download button.

00:13:54.000 Download immediately, and I can go right.

00:13:56.080 And usually what I'll do is I will go right to Twitter, and I'll post it.

00:13:58.860 But the problem is a lot of the things I find funny is not going to go viral on Twitter.

00:14:04.880 And the things I don't find funny will probably go viral.

00:14:07.380 But I'll chuckle, but I'm like, eh, I don't really care to post that.

00:14:11.540 Well, just post all of it. 0.99

00:14:11.720 Who gives a fuck? 0.98

00:14:12.700 Because I feel like I don't want to steal content, even though, because there's some 0.99

00:14:16.260 stuff I would be like, this would probably go viral on Twitter.

00:14:19.260 But I feel like-

00:14:19.860 Last night, basically every time for the past two months since I've just been absolutely

00:14:24.640 crushing, all I do is I see a clip that I find interesting.

00:14:27.460 I don't steal it.

00:14:28.580 I just do the little press and hold and then quote video.

00:14:32.060 And then I share-

00:14:32.740 The Tulsi clip that I put out last night had 800 likes that had been up for four hours. 0.69

00:14:37.100 I've now got four million fucking views and 80,000 likes because I shared it.

00:14:41.400 It is the easiest gig in the world. 0.98

00:14:43.360 As soon as you have a following, you just fucking go, I think that's interesting.

00:14:46.380 Let me put it to more people, and let me make it go more viral. 0.99

00:14:49.440 Dude, it's so bad.

00:14:50.300 My videos on here, it's just all Instagram videos.

00:14:57.760 You can see them.

00:14:58.520 They're all just Instagram videos that I've downloaded.

00:15:00.500 You posted two of those.

00:15:00.960 And I literally have so many.

00:15:03.220 He takes the time to post them in the chat.

00:15:05.900 In all seriousness, someone did say if it's posted on the internet, it's not stealing.

00:15:09.980 And I actually do kind of believe that.

00:15:11.540 Unless you're trying to make it seem like you made something you didn't.

00:15:15.180 So, there's a lot of ones that are like-

00:15:18.480 That's stolen content, Valor.

00:15:19.400 Things that-

00:15:20.500 If it is-

00:15:22.240 For me to post it, it has to be somebody posting a video of seeing something that is crazy or weird or funny.

00:15:30.820 Not necessarily a skit, because there's a lot of skit videos.

00:15:33.960 People that make really funny skit videos.

00:15:36.460 And I'll find them funny, and I'll download them, and I'll send them to people.

00:15:39.200 But I won't post that, because it is someone else's content that they-

00:15:42.060 It'd be like if someone just took our podcast, clipped it up, and posted it.

00:15:46.760 And it was just like-

00:15:48.020 I don't know how I'd feel about that.

00:15:49.480 Maybe I think it's cool.

00:15:50.640 I got 800 or 900 new followers just from that Tulsi clip.

00:15:54.140 You are not doing your job. 0.99

00:15:58.040 Did we just get into the ethics of the reason you don't post it is because you don't think it's cool to repost shit? 0.98

00:16:03.240 That's actually- 0.97

00:16:03.900 No, legitimately, that is probably why-

00:16:05.280 He's a social media hipster. 0.99

00:16:06.760 I fucking hate that. 1.00

00:16:07.240 I don't know. 0.97

00:16:07.900 If I made something, I want it to go viral in any way possible, even if it's not specific.

00:16:11.720 The reason you post, anytime I put anything online, I'm not putting it so nobody sees it.

00:16:16.780 Like, what's the logic here?

00:16:18.060 But to me, it's like, I would-

00:16:21.300 Do better, Cole.

00:16:23.860 Listen to Josie.

00:16:24.900 If there's anybody you should listen to when it comes to social media, it's her.

00:16:27.540 It's not even me.

00:16:27.800 Did Cole just show us the videos that are on his phone?

00:16:31.240 Yes, because they're all Instagram videos.

00:16:33.760 Every one of these.

00:16:34.540 I can literally look at my own pictures of your wife blowing you. 0.97

00:16:36.760 There's definitely some butthole videos in there. 1.00

00:16:38.420 I'm literally looking at all of them, and not one of these that are on here right now

00:16:41.340 is a- 0.99

00:16:42.040 Cole, how often do you sex your wife? 0.99

00:16:45.320 Not very often. 0.99

00:16:46.540 Never.

00:16:47.080 Who does it with their wife? 1.00

00:16:48.740 Yeah, that's gay. 0.99

00:16:49.560 Yeah. 0.99

00:16:49.940 You can live with them.

00:16:50.660 I mean, it might be hard if you're at work or something.

00:16:52.580 You do it before you're married.

00:16:53.580 She sent me a titty pic three weeks ago from work.

00:16:57.920 Okay.

00:16:58.700 Oh, titty pics.

00:16:59.980 Yeah, no, that's like, that's over. 0.99

00:17:02.440 And we're not doing that shit anymore. 0.99

00:17:04.280 That's over. 0.99

00:17:04.840 Wait, wait, wait.

00:17:05.900 Wait, wait.

00:17:06.300 So titty pics are over for you, but like sexting is still on the table for you?

00:17:09.760 I constantly harass my wife.

00:17:11.900 Like, it's- 1.00

00:17:12.580 From across the room, I'm going to fuck you. 1.00

00:17:16.820 And she'll just be like, she'll be like, hey, babe. 1.00

00:17:19.020 And I'll just be like, I'm going to fuck or something. 1.00

00:17:20.720 Whatever. 1.00

00:17:21.440 Just the most uncomfortable shit. 1.00

00:17:22.120 My dick is so hard for you right now. 1.00

00:17:23.920 Wait, wait, wait. 1.00

00:17:24.820 So does sexting-

00:17:25.820 I'm like a diamond in an ice storm, baby.

00:17:26.920 So sexting includes stuff that's just text and not pictures, yes?

00:17:33.640 I guess so.

00:17:34.840 No, pictures include sexting.

00:17:36.880 I ask my girlfriends to send me pictures of- 0.99

00:17:40.040 No, rather, I send my girlfriends pictures of other dudes' dicks, 0.99

00:17:43.480 and I just see if they notice, because if they don't, then I dump them. 0.99

00:17:47.280 Here's what I do tomorrow. 0.98

00:17:47.940 You stole that from Joe Rogan's special, damn it. 0.99

00:17:51.260 Does he make that joke? 0.99

00:17:53.740 Yeah.

00:17:54.560 Oh, that's funny.

00:17:55.280 That's actually really funny.

00:17:56.020 Gotta keep them on their toes.

00:17:56.500 I'll be honest, I haven't watched it, because I don't care.

00:17:58.720 You said it's okay to steal from the internet.

00:17:59.960 It's fine, Clint.

00:18:00.720 You're good.

00:18:02.420 Also, I will say, I think I've sold this before, but I used to, whenever I was on Young and like

00:18:07.600 13, 14, and had my first iPod, I was like, it was funny, because you brought up Kick.

00:18:13.340 You brought up Kick, because apparently Kick is now like a video streaming service.

00:18:17.120 I forgot to tag Joe Rogan.

00:18:17.920 Hold on.

00:18:19.100 Is Kick different from the Kick that I knew from like over a decade ago?

00:18:21.740 I think it's the same Kick, the Messenger Kick.

00:18:23.700 The one where that chick was sending me titty pics, and then she died? 1.00

00:18:26.840 Well, I used to do the same thing that Clint does to his girlfriends, but I would do it

00:18:30.800 as a 14-year-old.

00:18:31.640 I would go, if I was sexting on Kick to like a random girl that I never met before in my 0.99

00:18:36.100 life, I would, instead of sending my own dick, I would also go look up dicks online and 0.99

00:18:40.540 then save them and send them to them instead and be like, here's my dick. 1.00

00:18:44.100 But I would just pretend. 0.99

00:18:45.520 And what would they do?

00:18:46.460 Would they like go, oh, wow.

00:18:47.500 Yeah, usually it was like, you know, guy, six, and no, but I would also look, I would

00:18:51.960 be like, okay, I can't choose the guy with like crazy six-pack abs. 0.79

00:18:55.140 Like, I can't be like, I have to be like, you dickfished. 0.97

00:19:02.200 I did dickfish. 1.00

00:19:02.820 Oh, shit. 1.00

00:19:03.200 Yeah, I told you guys I did the same exact thing. 0.99

00:19:04.880 When I was like 12, I'd be an AWOL Instant Messenger hitting up chicks, and I would find 0.89

00:19:08.920 pictures of dudes online.

00:19:10.200 Like, yeah, that's me.

00:19:11.920 I'm too honest for that, man.

00:19:13.840 I'm an AWOL.

00:19:14.720 You were doing this at 14, so you're like, you're looking through this catalog, and you're

00:19:17.900 like, that guy looks like he's 25.

00:19:20.080 I got to find someone that looks young. 0.99

00:19:21.640 So you were like, you were sending child porn. 0.95

00:19:22.500 But I never said my age. 0.77

00:19:23.840 I wouldn't be like, hey, I'm 14.

00:19:25.680 Guys, guys, hold on a second.

00:19:26.960 Hold on a second.

00:19:27.460 I'm 26.

00:19:28.080 Because now it's been two super chats.

00:19:32.100 Oh, hell yeah.

00:19:32.440 Raven has sent his people against us, and both super chats that we've gotten have been from

00:19:37.780 his people letting us know that they're there.

00:19:39.600 They're actually paying us now to say this.

00:19:41.760 Good.

00:19:42.160 I don't know why.

00:19:43.440 Cool.

00:19:43.620 What are they saying?

00:19:44.660 I mean, give us more money.

00:19:44.920 They're being passive aggressive with you, Clint.

00:19:47.160 Being passive aggressive if you're going to pay us.

00:19:49.040 That's cool.

00:19:49.460 Yeah, that's fine.

00:19:50.520 Good morning.

00:19:50.840 But here's the thing.

00:19:51.520 They say good morning.

00:19:53.460 That's a David thing.

00:19:54.540 I'm noticing.

00:19:55.140 Good morning. 0.99

00:19:55.280 And the other one said, who's this cold fag? 1.00

00:20:00.500 Where's our host, Raven? 0.99

00:20:02.600 I don't understand that.

00:20:03.380 We're very hurt.

00:20:03.540 Neither of those were digs at me, but you said they were being passive aggressive towards me.

00:20:07.080 They're being passive aggressive.

00:20:08.060 He sent his audience against us.

00:20:12.200 His legion.

00:20:13.000 Okay.

00:20:13.360 I do want to ask this.

00:20:14.420 So do you think that your significant others, Sans Toad, could, if both hard and soft, choose 1.00

00:20:24.060 your dick out of a lineup? 1.00

00:20:26.220 You're saying if she's blindfolded and it's... 1.00

00:20:29.340 Oh, that's even better. 1.00

00:20:30.280 Wait, how are you supposed to pick it out of a lineup of shit? 0.99

00:20:33.600 Yeah, how is she supposed to do that? 1.00

00:20:34.960 You're going to go up and...

00:20:36.060 Oh, by feel?

00:20:37.940 Oh, that's way worse.

00:20:38.960 Not even close. 0.99

00:20:40.080 If she goes to a lineup of dicks and just starts touching them all, it's over regardless. 1.00

00:20:45.820 You whore. 1.00

00:20:47.840 She's like, this is your dick. 1.00

00:20:49.220 And I'm like, yeah, you lose anyways. 1.00

00:20:50.960 Get the fuck out of here. 0.99

00:20:51.560 In all seriousness, though, that would be an impossible task for any woman. 1.00

00:20:55.000 Like, unless you had an extremely distinct dick. 1.00

00:20:57.340 Because think about all the different states of soft you have. 1.00

00:21:00.300 Oh, dude, your dick just isn't special. 1.00

00:21:02.060 There's literally infinite states. 1.00

00:21:03.180 Now, by seeing, I could see how, like, your wife or significant other could get it.

00:21:06.860 But just feel, no way in hell. 1.00

00:21:08.560 Dude, you have one of the most average dicks of anybody I've ever talked to. 0.99

00:21:12.300 Oh, thanks. 1.00

00:21:13.440 What?

00:21:13.860 I mean, I'm just being honest. 1.00

00:21:14.640 Have you seen Jose's dick? 0.99

00:21:15.040 If you don't think she's got a chance of figuring it out? 1.00

00:21:18.640 In a lineup of people with all different types?

00:21:21.400 Like, I don't know. 0.99

00:21:22.860 Everyone's their dick is turtled up before. 0.99

00:21:24.920 This is what I'm talking about. 0.99

00:21:25.780 Like, I think there's, like.

00:21:26.780 There's so many different states of dickdom.

00:21:29.240 I think it would be just your natural state.

00:21:31.400 Just whatever you would say is just, like, whatever you are right now.

00:21:34.220 I guess.

00:21:34.560 I don't know.

00:21:34.940 Because some of y'all get podcasting, don't you?

00:21:37.000 Ha ha ha ha.

00:21:38.740 Wait, wait, wait.

00:21:39.300 What's podcasting?

00:21:40.980 Oh, we're raging.

00:21:41.580 What's podcasting?

00:21:44.580 Yeah, what is podcasting?

00:21:46.160 Don't some people get, like, really, like, all shriveled up?

00:21:49.780 Not me.

00:21:50.700 During a podcast?

00:21:51.920 What?

00:21:52.320 I thought one of y'all talked about this before.

00:21:54.400 I get that during exercise, not during exercise.

00:21:56.940 I mean, that's what it was. 0.99

00:21:58.600 That's what an exercise dick. 0.99

00:21:59.560 Okay. 1.00

00:22:00.000 Yeah, well.

00:22:01.000 When I work out. 1.00

00:22:01.640 My dick gets really tiny, but when I'm podcasting, my dick is just a normal dick. 1.00

00:22:10.520 All right. 1.00

00:22:10.840 Podcast dick, I just get massively hard. 1.00

00:22:13.000 You know who gets the crazy dick? 1.00

00:22:14.540 Tyler. 1.00

00:22:15.620 Isn't there, like, bicycle dick? 0.99

00:22:17.500 Like, there's... 1.00

00:22:17.740 Black don't crack. 1.00

00:22:20.380 That's because the seat is just pushing on their asshole, and they're gay. 1.00

00:22:25.480 Tyler, is this true? 1.00

00:22:26.720 It could be, or...

00:22:28.020 But when you're a cyclist, you're wearing those really tight shorts, right?

00:22:31.780 So it's probably... 1.00

00:22:33.200 I mean, you're compressing your dick quite ramped over and over. 1.00

00:22:36.300 Got your dick in a full Nelson. 1.00

00:22:37.840 I'm going to be honest. 1.00

00:22:38.440 If I was gay, I would be into bike riding, like, long-distance bike riding.

00:22:42.500 It's not a correlation.

00:22:43.480 I'm going to look at... 0.59

00:22:43.900 No, if I was gay, I'd be into the bike sprinters.

00:22:47.340 Those dudes that do the indoor bike sprints. 1.00

00:22:49.240 Have you seen their legs?

00:22:50.520 Like, they're crazy. 0.77

00:22:51.320 Those dudes are, like, built... 0.98

00:22:52.160 I'm not talking about the guys. 1.00

00:22:53.120 I'm talking about, I want to, you know, just have light pressure on my B-hole for fucking 0.99

00:22:57.420 hours at a time. 0.99

00:22:58.380 Yeah.

00:22:59.080 It's not even light, really, if you're, like, really going at it.

00:23:01.800 It's pretty much ramming at it.

00:23:02.780 You can just remove the seat.

00:23:03.820 It can be as hard as you want it to be, honestly.

00:23:05.160 Just remove the bike seat. 0.86

00:23:06.760 Listen, Tyler's lying.

00:23:07.760 He's lying to us.

00:23:08.560 There's a thing.

00:23:09.080 It's, like, it's a condition. 0.99

00:23:10.020 It's called bicycler's dick. 0.99

00:23:11.560 It's like when a runner's dick, you ever heard of that? 1.00

00:23:14.400 No. 0.99

00:23:14.880 No. 1.00

00:23:15.600 What happens to their dicks? 1.00

00:23:17.320 Yo, runner's dicks shrivel up. 1.00

00:23:19.640 Oh, yeah. 1.00

00:23:19.920 When I exercise my dick, it's tiny. 1.00

00:23:21.140 It's like swimmer's dick. 1.00

00:23:22.740 I think it's because all the blood is going to, like, your heart and, like, to, like, 1.00

00:23:26.720 the muscles and not to your penis. 0.98

00:23:28.980 The blood is rushing everywhere else. 0.99

00:23:30.100 The body's been, like, we'll shut down this part of the body for now.

00:23:33.660 It's not being used.

00:23:34.280 This is why I didn't shower after gym class, because I was, like, why is everybody cool 0.99

00:23:37.540 with showering with their exercise dick? 1.00

00:23:39.020 This is crazy. 1.00

00:23:40.200 Yeah, the exercise dick shit is weird. 1.00

00:23:42.240 That's a little big energy, though, Clint. 1.00

00:23:44.080 When's the last time you actually were in a... 1.00

00:23:45.640 My dick was shrinking. 1.00

00:23:46.620 What am I going to say? 1.00

00:23:47.600 I was...

00:23:48.400 Go ahead, Toad. 0.98

00:23:49.560 That's why I had a stroke, I think, because I was jerking off so much. 0.91

00:23:52.860 The blood was just flowing away from the brain.

00:23:55.540 Is that why? 1.00

00:23:56.300 Those guys are crazy. 1.00

00:23:57.480 That's retarded. 1.00

00:23:58.740 Those sprinters are crazy, dude. 1.00

00:24:00.740 They're literally insane.

00:24:01.380 You know, the thing that always blew my mind is, like, I was... 0.99

00:24:03.560 You know, my dick would still be fine, but it was tiny because I had worked out, but 0.99

00:24:06.360 there would be, like... 0.99

00:24:07.200 There would be other dudes that had, like, way smaller dicks than me, and they would 0.99

00:24:11.960 just be, like, thrilled to get naked in front of everybody. 0.99

00:24:14.380 And I was always, like...

00:24:15.760 Oh, yeah.

00:24:16.000 I was always mystified by those guys.

00:24:17.320 I'm like, dude, that's the level of confidence.

00:24:18.720 Like, these are...

00:24:19.280 Like, I don't know if they go on to become, like...

00:24:20.820 That is mass.

00:24:21.380 ...like billionaires. 1.00

00:24:22.940 Is Clint secretly a small dick or something? 1.00

00:24:25.540 This does really feel like... 1.00

00:24:26.740 Now, hold on.

00:24:27.140 Let me tell this story real quick.

00:24:28.080 This is weird.

00:24:28.880 Maybe, like...

00:24:29.480 Or you ashamed of your baby. 1.00

00:24:30.300 Maybe, like, middle school dick. 1.00

00:24:31.480 Maybe, like, middle school... 1.00

00:24:32.240 Wait, wait.

00:24:32.640 Yo, let me tell this story.

00:24:33.640 I'm telling you.

00:24:33.920 I didn't go to puberty until junior year.

00:24:35.860 In my high school, there was a black dude.

00:24:37.280 Ooh.

00:24:38.100 There was a black dude that was on the football team. 1.00

00:24:40.120 Your dick just went, like, from here to here. 1.00

00:24:41.820 Then if you... 1.00

00:24:42.200 All right.

00:24:42.780 I got it.

00:24:43.060 I get it.

00:24:43.240 Let Top tell the story. 1.00

00:24:44.460 I had a kid dick until I was 16. 1.00

00:24:45.940 It sucked. 1.00

00:24:46.140 Okay. 0.98

00:24:46.580 I get it now.

00:24:47.320 This is...

00:24:48.260 Wow. 0.99

00:24:48.420 A pedophile scream. 1.00

00:24:49.620 Like, I don't want to see my little dick. 1.00

00:24:52.020 Let Top tell his dick story. 1.00

00:24:53.340 I can't dick until 16. 1.00

00:24:54.520 Top suck in the black dick. 1.00

00:24:55.980 What do you... 1.00

00:24:56.620 Dude, I was 5'4 my sophomore year of high school, and I was 5'11 my junior year, and 6'1 by senior

00:25:01.860 year. 0.98

00:25:02.420 I was fucking tiny, dude. 0.94

00:25:03.920 Oh, you were the dude that gave people like me hope. 1.00

00:25:05.940 You're like, oh, shit. 1.00

00:25:06.960 Yeah. 1.00

00:25:07.100 You're fucking... 1.00

00:25:08.000 I was like, oh, you're 17. 1.00

00:25:09.820 Let's let Top tell the story.

00:25:11.980 He's really wanting to sell it.

00:25:13.760 Let's do it.

00:25:14.140 Oh, no.

00:25:14.400 I was going to say, this kid on the football team when I was in high school, he basically

00:25:19.520 got bullied off the football team. 0.86

00:25:21.040 All black people. 0.96

00:25:22.520 And the rumor was going around that he had a... 1.00

00:25:25.400 They were calling his dick a mini... 1.00

00:25:27.400 It looked like a mini Snickers bar. 1.00

00:25:29.680 And this dude actually basically had to leave. 0.99

00:25:30.840 I would love to have a mini Snickers bar as a dick. 0.99

00:25:33.460 A fun size. 1.00

00:25:34.140 I guess it's small.

00:25:34.820 That's like an inch.

00:25:35.300 Oh, the fun size?

00:25:36.260 I was like, just a regular size Snickers bar.

00:25:40.560 I would be like, I get to gain some inches? 1.00

00:25:42.980 I'm having a fun size Snickers dick. 1.00

00:25:47.980 These juggernaut little tiny cacks. 1.00

00:25:52.620 It would be really funny, though, if you're getting made fun of having a small dick and 1.00

00:25:56.220 a bunch of black guys are making fun of another black guy having a small dick. 1.00

00:26:00.040 And it's just like the biggest dick of all time. 1.00

00:26:02.400 And they're just like, oh, look at this little dick. 1.00

00:26:03.900 It's just slightly smaller than all the other biggest dicks. 1.00

00:26:07.820 Yeah, it's just like eight inches and not... 0.99

00:26:10.040 All right.

00:26:10.480 So, quick story.

00:26:11.780 The mini is smaller than the fun size. 0.99

00:26:15.020 The mini is a fucking square. 1.00

00:26:17.020 I wish I had a micro dick. 1.00

00:26:22.420 Yeah, Jose, it's pretty rough. 1.00

00:26:24.360 If you want to bounce and come back.

00:26:26.180 All right.

00:26:26.820 See you, Figgins.

00:26:27.360 Oh, my God.

00:26:29.380 All right.

00:26:29.660 So, this is a true story.

00:26:31.560 This is a true story.

00:26:32.280 Real quick.

00:26:33.220 When I was in fifth grade, my buddy Ben went through puberty.

00:26:39.000 He was my best friend.

00:26:40.480 Fifth grade, he went through puberty.

00:26:42.040 I didn't go through puberty for six more years.

00:26:44.860 What is happening?

00:26:45.720 What are we doing?

00:26:45.980 I'm trying to get Tyler off of here, but I can't.

00:26:48.480 Oh, okay.

00:26:48.920 Why?

00:26:49.200 Leave him on there.

00:26:49.760 He's fine.

00:26:50.020 So, this dude in seventh and eighth grade

00:26:53.940 had an eight pack.

00:26:56.360 He was five foot seven, five foot eight.

00:26:58.580 We're talking middle school.

00:27:00.000 I was five foot two or five foot one,

00:27:02.840 and I weighed under 100 pounds. 1.00

00:27:04.740 He had a full man dick. 1.00

00:27:06.340 You were mean, basically. 1.00

00:27:07.300 And I had a kid dick, and it was horror. 1.00

00:27:10.400 It was so fucking shitty. 1.00

00:27:11.820 That sounds terrible. 1.00

00:27:12.220 And this dude was like fucking and getting girls, 1.00

00:27:14.300 and I was just like, girls didn't even know I existed. 1.00

00:27:16.920 This is like eighth grade?

00:27:18.580 This was sixth and seventh and eighth grade,

00:27:20.580 all through middle school. 0.99

00:27:21.120 He was fucking in sixth grade? 1.00

00:27:22.620 He went through puberty. 1.00

00:27:23.080 He went through puberty in fifth fucking grade, dude. 1.00

00:27:25.700 I've never seen anything like it. 1.00

00:27:26.840 And he had a fucking decent-sized dick. 1.00

00:27:28.440 Like, honestly, but now looking back, 1.00

00:27:30.460 by the way, the guy who went through this growth spurt

00:27:32.780 in fifth grade, he grew one more inch

00:27:34.900 throughout all of high school.

00:27:36.200 He was still 5'8", 5'7", by the end of high school.

00:27:38.740 I was 6'1". 0.99

00:27:39.820 My dick caught up to his, and I was like, 1.00

00:27:41.820 your dick was nothing special. 1.00

00:27:43.260 My dick's the same as your dick. 1.00

00:27:44.500 But when you see that dick when you're sixth or seventh grade, 1.00

00:27:46.840 it is fucking horrifying to see a fucking kid, 1.00

00:27:49.580 your peer have a dick of a man, it sucks, dude. 1.00

00:27:52.360 You're saying that this guy still has a real big dick, though. 1.00

00:27:54.660 It just grew. 1.00

00:27:55.260 If it's the same size as yours, is that what you're saying?

00:27:57.140 I mean, it's not real big. 1.00

00:27:58.060 It's just a good-sized dick. 1.00

00:27:59.400 But I'm just saying, it's a big dick for a sixth grader. 1.00

00:28:02.520 It's a huge dick for a sixth grader. 1.00

00:28:04.720 Too much responsibility for a huge dick. 1.00

00:28:07.660 I'm just hoping I'm not fully grown yet. 1.00

00:28:11.920 You're at the end of life.

00:28:13.220 You think that you're not fully grown?

00:28:14.240 I haven't talked to Ben in a while.

00:28:15.440 I'm not sure if he found that.

00:28:17.320 I was going to ask, when was the last time y'all were in a

00:28:20.620 public bathroom where people were changing in there,

00:28:27.980 fully naked?

00:28:28.940 Just in the gym.

00:28:29.500 For me, it was...

00:28:30.340 That's it.

00:28:30.800 Okay, so the gym.

00:28:31.560 Okay.

00:28:31.920 Because in the gym, I guess there are people that

00:28:33.480 change there, but I don't usually see a lot.

00:28:35.220 I've seen some...

00:28:36.000 Usually it's the very old men, but I was... 0.99

00:28:38.720 So I went whitewater rafting.

00:28:39.900 It's usually old men. 1.00

00:28:40.920 I went whitewater rafting. 0.99

00:28:41.720 The college baseball coach is the last dick that I've seen. 0.99

00:28:45.540 The dude was like... 0.99

00:28:46.780 We were all in his office and he was telling us... 1.00

00:28:48.740 Why the fuck is the coach getting naked? 1.00

00:28:52.180 That was the craziest shit. 1.00

00:28:53.880 He's one of the boys, man. 1.00

00:28:55.860 And I think about this a lot. 1.00

00:28:59.880 That dude's gay as fuck. 1.00

00:29:01.020 Was he in Nambla? 1.00

00:29:02.400 That's so...

00:29:03.280 Because I know he...

00:29:04.880 Because they all wear the jerseys.

00:29:06.660 I know the coaches wear the jersey as well.

00:29:08.940 And I know he's going like, got to hit the showers and just rips it off.

00:29:12.340 Listen to the circumstances.

00:29:14.060 You've got like a half of a baseball team.

00:29:16.320 We just lost the game.

00:29:17.760 We all go back like two hours to the college.

00:29:21.160 And it's like 11 p.m.

00:29:22.420 It was a night game, right?

00:29:23.780 So now he's telling us like, yeah, we got to be back here at eight in the morning to do

00:29:27.800 blah, blah, blah, blah.

00:29:28.460 And we're all saying, all right, all right, coach, whatever.

00:29:30.460 And he takes off his windbreakers because he's going to put on his jeans to drive home. 0.99

00:29:34.100 But when he like bends over with his boxers, his dick just... 0.99

00:29:38.320 And I'm like... 1.00

00:29:39.160 Oh, it flopped out. 0.99

00:29:39.740 Fucking flop out. 0.98

00:29:41.160 And then he did a thing like... 0.99

00:29:43.140 He knew he did it.

00:29:44.800 But he's like, I'm not going to acknowledge it.

00:29:47.180 But now I'm thinking like, did he know he did it on purpose?

00:29:50.020 And then like everybody had to like...

00:29:52.220 There was like six of us.

00:29:53.040 And we're all like...

00:29:54.840 That didn't happen. 1.00

00:29:56.900 And then just see my coach's dick. 1.00

00:29:58.560 It's like... 1.00

00:29:59.220 It's just weird, man.

00:30:00.100 I don't know. 1.00

00:30:00.940 Maybe he's trying to fuck me. 1.00

00:30:02.420 I think so. 1.00

00:30:03.400 Probably.

00:30:04.100 I mean, that's definitely like predator energy.

00:30:06.480 To do that as a coach for like any sport.

00:30:08.820 By the way...

00:30:09.540 Was your coach Joe Paterno? 0.95

00:30:11.040 I bet you a trillion dollars that like 80% of gymnastic coaches are pedophiles.

00:30:16.300 Dude, when I was in high school, the women's gym teacher... 1.00

00:30:23.920 And she was like the... 0.98

00:30:24.700 She was one of the coaches.

00:30:25.880 Like women's softball. 1.00

00:30:26.840 I think something like that. 1.00

00:30:27.680 She was absolutely a pedophile lesbian. 1.00

00:30:32.160 All right. 1.00

00:30:32.680 Mailbag.

00:30:34.780 I don't know if there's anything wrong with that.

00:30:36.220 Is there anything wrong with that?

00:30:37.200 Oh, you know what?

00:30:37.920 I actually wanted to tell you. 0.98

00:30:38.680 The lesbian part might be the problem. 1.00

00:30:40.100 Before we get into mailbag, I wanted to ask Cole a question.

00:30:42.720 This is what I do.

00:30:43.640 Does anybody else do this? 0.92

00:30:45.120 After, like if I have like day sex, which is probably more common for Cole.

00:30:49.400 I don't know how common...

00:30:50.420 That might be common for you, Jose.

00:30:51.940 Because your wife works nights, right? 0.99

00:30:53.840 I just got day sex yesterday. 0.99

00:30:55.440 Yeah, he did. 0.98

00:30:56.000 He literally said... 1.00

00:30:56.680 He literally told us he was like, I just fucked. 1.00

00:30:59.280 Oh, yeah. 1.00

00:31:00.020 Wait, isn't day sex... 0.85

00:31:01.740 And I was like... 1.00

00:31:03.040 I was like, should we all just be telling everybody in here when we fuck? 0.99

00:31:06.300 Because I mean, I'm down. 0.99

00:31:07.280 I'll do it. 0.80

00:31:08.040 Day sex is called a nooner, isn't it? 1.00

00:31:09.760 Toad, shut the fuck up. 1.00

00:31:10.760 That's actually a good joke. 1.00

00:31:11.920 You know what?

00:31:12.400 I regret saying that.

00:31:13.320 It's just stating a thing.

00:31:15.240 Everyone knows what nooners are. 1.00

00:31:16.800 Here's the thing.

00:31:17.220 Yeah, I'm one of them.

00:31:18.880 So I'm a nooner, but he's never had a nooner.

00:31:21.780 That's right.

00:31:22.740 Bummer.

00:31:23.240 I'm a nooner-less nooner. 1.00

00:31:24.980 You have day sex. 1.00

00:31:25.780 I'm a nooner-less nooner. 1.00

00:31:26.820 You have day sex. 0.99

00:31:27.780 The rest of your day is slightly different with your wife now. 0.98

00:31:30.480 If you're hanging out with your wife.

00:31:31.420 It's a little bit different.

00:31:32.440 Yeah, you're like, God, is she ever going to leave?

00:31:36.060 That was two different things.

00:31:37.800 Two different things.

00:31:38.940 Like, right there.

00:31:40.180 That was...

00:31:41.780 Why is she still here? 0.99

00:31:43.160 We've already had sex. 0.76

00:31:44.060 Why am I still here?

00:31:45.300 So I feel like, just any time after I have sex, I feel like I should be on my best behavior

00:31:50.880 to incentivize her to, like, give me more sex because then I act better towards her. 0.99

00:31:57.660 There's also a component where I really am genuinely like, I love you so much.

00:32:02.240 Yeah, I am right.

00:32:03.720 This is literally what battered spouses say. 0.97

00:32:07.780 He's obviously an abused victim.

00:32:10.580 No, because Jose said he thought the same thing.

00:32:13.760 It's a merry thing.

00:32:15.220 Listen, if you're watching on Twitter, you want to be in the chat, I think the Rumble chat

00:32:18.380 is the best spot to go to. 0.99

00:32:19.720 So just don't fucking... 0.99

00:32:22.720 Back to... 0.99

00:32:23.240 No, I'm serious.

00:32:24.220 Back to the thing. 1.00

00:32:25.120 Fuck you, Tyler. 1.00

00:32:25.940 How dare you? 1.00

00:32:27.140 You piece of shit. 1.00

00:32:28.660 With my own soundboard, betray me. 1.00

00:32:31.740 Here's what I do with my wife. 1.00

00:32:33.220 And it's supposed to be like a real cozy thing.

00:32:35.200 Like, the whole time, like, you guys...

00:32:36.700 Nobody knows you have sex right. 0.98

00:32:37.780 It's kind of like...

00:32:38.500 You have my attention. 1.00

00:32:38.800 This kind of shit, right? 1.00

00:32:40.220 I tell her, like, if we have a second, I'll tell her, this is what you did. 1.00

00:32:43.920 And then I'll make a face that I think she did during the orgasm, and then I'll make 0.98

00:32:47.140 the sound. 0.99

00:32:47.720 And she fucking hates it, but I do it every single time. 0.99

00:32:51.940 I cannot stop myself. 1.00

00:32:53.740 It's addicting.

00:32:54.840 I go like this. 1.00

00:32:55.580 Like, sometimes I'll just do whacked out shit. 1.00

00:32:57.500 Like, you sound like a bird. 1.00

00:32:58.220 I was like, you were like... 1.00

00:32:58.720 And she's like, what the fuck is wrong with you? 0.99

00:33:02.440 But I'm like, I don't know. 0.99

00:33:03.520 I have to do it.

00:33:04.620 I have to, like, neg her. 1.00

00:33:07.320 You're crazy. 1.00

00:33:08.000 I would never get sex again. 1.00

00:33:09.840 I think you got a TBI during, like, college sports or something.

00:33:13.700 I'm being honest.

00:33:14.380 Like, I think you probably have a traumatic brain injury and you don't know.

00:33:17.560 I used to box.

00:33:18.620 I used to box for a little bit, yeah. 1.00

00:33:20.120 No, I think it was seeing your coach's penis, like, to peek out from under. 1.00

00:33:24.320 No, but seriously, you nag your wife after you have sex. 1.00

00:33:30.000 I would be, like, I would be so scared. 0.97

00:33:32.380 I would be like, I'm never getting sex again.

00:33:34.240 I'm like, I...

00:33:35.220 Sometimes I'll do it... 1.00

00:33:36.700 Sometimes I'll nag her or I'll fuck with her immediately after or even during sometimes. 1.00

00:33:41.480 Like, it's crazy. 1.00

00:33:43.160 You're crazy. 0.99

00:33:44.440 I'm the only person. 0.99

00:33:45.660 I respect you.

00:33:45.960 Cole would die if he did that. 0.97

00:33:47.600 He'd be killed. 1.00

00:33:48.300 I like sex too much to do that. 1.00

00:33:51.840 I get, like, more... 0.98

00:33:52.780 Top mega.

00:33:54.020 I get more disrespect for the longer it's been since I've had sex.

00:33:57.640 That's how I am.

00:33:58.380 Yes, me too.

00:33:59.100 I'm just...

00:34:00.380 I'll be dropping things...

00:34:02.180 If I am lucky enough to get laid, I will be on as good a behavior as possible just in 0.99

00:34:08.340 hopes that she will think that if she wants me to be on good behavior, she'll fuck me 0.99

00:34:11.860 more. 1.00

00:34:12.260 Yes, so I get a crumb of pussy. 1.00

00:34:14.040 That is abuse. 1.00

00:34:14.860 I just want a crumb of pussy. 1.00

00:34:17.180 So sad. 1.00

00:34:17.860 That's such a bad relationship.

00:34:19.140 But no, but I am like...

00:34:20.280 But I am like...

00:34:21.120 No, no, no, because...

00:34:22.280 He's like, as soon as he comes, he's like, gotta go do the dishes.

00:34:25.120 Gotta go take the trash out.

00:34:26.020 Gotta go do...

00:34:26.460 I do.

00:34:29.720 Jose understands, though, because I do the same thing of, like, if it's been a long time,

00:34:33.520 if it's been like a week or something, I just start being like, guess we're not

00:34:36.780 having sex today.

00:34:37.880 Again, just add another one to the mic. 0.99

00:34:40.020 I'll do, like, little digs like that.

00:34:41.540 Reverse psychology.

00:34:42.020 Yeah, just be like, I guess another day, no sex, huh?

00:34:44.740 Just too tired again.

00:34:45.880 So not only do you do what she wants afterwards, but then you're passive-aggressive when you

00:34:50.580 don't do what you want. 0.99

00:34:51.640 So, like, at this point, I feel like you deserve to get hit. 0.99

00:34:55.100 I do. 1.00

00:34:55.480 That's why she's putting shit in your ass, Cole. 1.00

00:34:57.300 You see? 1.00

00:34:59.000 Yeah.

00:34:59.360 Passive-aggression deserves, like, actual violence.

00:35:03.700 You get what you deserve, Cole.

00:35:05.120 But I'm, like, mine's more, like, I can think it, like, analytically like that, but it's

00:35:09.280 really just a genuine, like, I love you, or I'm, like, genuinely just sad because I 0.99

00:35:13.220 haven't gone pussy in a while. 0.99

00:35:14.280 If you do it because, if you do it, if you start doing chores because you're in a euphoric 1.00

00:35:18.500 state, okay, I get it.

00:35:20.040 Wait, wait a second, wait a second.

00:35:21.760 So you're saying that I am actually, like, Jose's actually on the lower IQ scale of this.

00:35:27.020 He's just like, I'm sad, I'm happy. 0.99

00:35:29.100 Whereas I'm literally, like, goddamn alpha predator. 0.99

00:35:32.380 Oh, that's the perfect drop. 1.00

00:35:39.540 That's the perfect drop.

00:35:41.780 But I can analyze my behavior and why I probably do that. 0.99

00:35:45.340 It's for that reason, but it is just, like, I am also just sad that I haven't got pussy. 0.99

00:35:49.900 I'm upset. 1.00

00:35:50.680 I'm a little fucking, I'm like a child. 0.99

00:35:52.140 Jose's sad. 1.00

00:35:54.060 Make wife sad for not. 1.00

00:35:56.040 The top approach, I think, is actually the best approach here.

00:35:58.840 You got to keep negging, keep them on their toes.

00:36:01.240 Toad, we're never going to take any type of sex advice from you.

00:36:04.060 Never, ever. 0.86

00:36:05.160 You should because I know what I'm talking about.

00:36:06.640 I just am not a good executor.

00:36:08.340 I found just a mild topic change.

00:36:10.740 I found some relatively large account posted a screenshot of an interaction with me in which

00:36:16.200 I ended up blocking them.

00:36:17.580 So I went to my alt to go check it out, and it has 75 replies, and it's just like, he blocked

00:36:22.540 me for this, he blocked me for this.

00:36:23.700 Oh, I saw this.

00:36:24.460 And it made me so joyous.

00:36:25.520 Like, I just kept scrolling and scrolling and scrolling.

00:36:27.460 And they're just, yeah. 1.00

00:36:28.580 I think I called him a faggot or something. 1.00

00:36:30.420 And he hid my reply. 1.00

00:36:32.320 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:36:32.860 Oh, yeah, that guy.

00:36:33.540 I just think it's so funny that this is still a thing.

00:36:36.420 As opposed to just moving on with their lives, they still have to be like, yeah, me too.

00:36:41.640 I feel like a lot of times when people search deep down, they know why.

00:36:45.460 Of course they do.

00:36:46.320 But that's the crazy thing.

00:36:47.500 You'll always see it, and they'll always lie.

00:36:49.480 They'll just be like, I said something totally benign. 1.00

00:36:52.420 And then if you actually go and you look at it, and they're like, fuck your mother, you 1.00

00:36:55.500 piece of shit, and you're like, oh. 1.00

00:36:57.300 I can't figure out why. 1.00

00:36:59.580 I have no idea.

00:37:01.200 Oh, my God.

00:37:02.140 Let's go back.

00:37:02.480 The best are when I don't know.

00:37:03.660 When they're like, someone's upset, I blocked them.

00:37:05.300 I'm like, I don't even remember blocking you.

00:37:06.840 It's basically the same thing I do with Elizabeth. 1.00

00:37:08.800 I literally just like, hey, fuck you for not giving me sex. 1.00

00:37:11.380 And later on, I'm like, why didn't you? 1.00

00:37:13.580 Like, I was so nice about it.

00:37:15.300 I was just like. 1.00

00:37:15.920 Why didn't you drink me like shit? 1.00

00:37:18.700 Why didn't you drink me like shit? 1.00

00:37:20.080 You fucking bitch. 1.00

00:37:21.360 All right, we haven't had any racism. 1.00

00:37:23.000 Let's watch it. 0.84

00:37:23.760 Yeah, is this a nigger fight? 1.00

00:37:27.180 Oh, what is he? 1.00

00:37:28.340 Holy shit. 1.00

00:37:30.600 Wait, he's in a machete. 1.00

00:37:31.600 Okay.

00:37:32.080 Double machetes or just one?

00:37:33.840 I will say this.

00:37:34.800 This should be legal.

00:37:35.620 This is a. 1.00

00:37:37.260 Holy fuck. 1.00

00:37:38.400 Oh, dude. 1.00

00:37:39.420 No way.

00:37:40.020 He's bleeding like hell. 1.00

00:37:42.560 Holy shit. 0.99

00:37:43.480 I thought I was. 0.99

00:37:45.920 So.

00:37:46.920 Oh, no way.

00:37:50.600 He picked it up.

00:37:52.200 He picked it up. 1.00

00:37:53.580 Holy shit. 0.99

00:37:55.240 He's not even phased, dude. 0.99

00:37:56.600 He's like, my hands cut off.

00:37:57.900 Whatever.

00:37:58.200 Let me just grab this thing.

00:37:59.420 Downtown Chicago is wild, man. 1.00

00:38:01.260 Holy fuck. 1.00

00:38:02.620 By the way, mutual combat. 1.00

00:38:04.640 This should be legal.

00:38:05.800 That's legal.

00:38:06.800 Or it should be legal.

00:38:08.380 They both had machetes.

00:38:09.880 I bet you like either they planned it or like one guy came up with two machetes.

00:38:14.440 He's like, here's your machete.

00:38:15.440 Now we fight.

00:38:16.360 Like, I feel like that's how it happened.

00:38:17.980 So they both had machetes and one of them cut the other guy's machete hand off, right?

00:38:23.640 Is that what you just saw there? 0.99

00:38:24.900 I like hack shit on my property with my machete sometimes. 0.99

00:38:28.000 And like, I can't imagine cutting through an arm. 1.00

00:38:30.440 That's fucking insane. 0.99

00:38:31.700 Oh, man. 0.99

00:38:32.340 My machete fighting days are over after this one.

00:38:34.220 You didn't cut on my machete hand.

00:38:35.640 I don't think I'm ever going to recover.

00:38:36.920 I ain't got no machete hand.

00:38:38.580 What am I supposed to do in the hood at this point?

00:38:40.640 Boy, how am I supposed to eat watermelon on one hand?

00:38:42.980 Get out of here.

00:38:43.600 I can't even beat my wife properly no more. 0.70

00:38:47.440 It's crazy. 1.00

00:38:49.140 It's crazy to do a fucking machete fight in a gas station. 1.00

00:38:53.640 Yeah. 0.99

00:38:53.960 There are other people just around like, eh, we've seen it before.

00:38:56.520 It's more responsible than a gunfight at a gas station.

00:38:59.620 It is.

00:38:59.980 It is.

00:39:00.940 This is how they should be.

00:39:02.460 Like, stop shooting each other.

00:39:04.180 Do machetes.

00:39:05.020 We should have machete duels. 0.85

00:39:06.460 Like, okay, I'm going to go, so there's two ways I can go about this. 1.00

00:39:09.980 One, I want them to shoot each other because they'll die more. 0.99

00:39:12.040 Okay? 1.00

00:39:12.560 Racist part.

00:39:13.300 Okay, good.

00:39:14.140 Okay.

00:39:15.100 On the other side of me. 0.99

00:39:16.740 They'll die more. 0.85

00:39:17.460 On the other side of me. 1.00

00:39:18.700 Nigga fights! 1.00

00:39:19.360 On the other side of me goes, do machete fights because you'll, Leslie, you'll die. 1.00

00:39:24.200 You'll just get maimed. 1.00

00:39:25.580 Nigga fights! 1.00

00:39:26.700 Was that good?

00:39:30.360 That felt good.

00:39:31.500 One take, baby.

00:39:32.480 One take.

00:39:34.220 Still can't believe that's a segment.

00:39:35.760 It's so insane.

00:39:36.360 Dude, all of his fans that are just watching our show are about to nut. 0.99

00:39:39.940 They're about to fucking just... 0.99

00:39:41.940 I'm edging them right now. 0.99

00:39:44.720 I'm edging them.

00:39:45.900 And nagging them at the same time like I do my wife.

00:39:48.300 Please continue.

00:39:50.300 But I feel like this is a better...

00:39:53.000 What's the other path?

00:39:53.860 This is better for society.

00:39:54.820 I want to know the other path.

00:39:55.880 Less collateral.

00:39:57.020 Way less collateral.

00:39:58.420 Yeah, yeah.

00:39:58.820 It's just...

00:39:59.100 Yeah, it's less collateral.

00:40:00.360 And now they don't die, but they're maimed.

00:40:02.140 But the problem is I think they would also try to get like onto long-term disability because

00:40:07.580 of this.

00:40:07.880 They'd be like, I lost my hand and I wore and I... 1.00

00:40:11.860 It's like, cut your hand off with a machete, dumbass. 1.00

00:40:14.280 Imagine this shit. 1.00

00:40:14.980 This dude pops out with a machete and the other guy goes, nigga, you brought a machete to 1.00

00:40:19.880 a machete fight.

00:40:20.900 And he brings out his machete and they start...

00:40:23.340 The craziest thing is their machetes don't clash at all ever.

00:40:25.600 They're like, ching, ching. 1.00

00:40:26.460 That's white people's shit. 1.00

00:40:27.520 They're using their offhand as guard. 1.00

00:40:30.720 I've never seen anything crazier in my life.

00:40:32.940 Just like, hit here.

00:40:34.340 I'll be fine.

00:40:35.040 It's like, no, your hand's now gone.

00:40:36.400 You know what's funny?

00:40:37.520 You could still probably beat them with kicks because they still want to be able to... 1.00

00:40:40.520 They still put that lead foot forward and you just kick them and they fucking... 0.99

00:40:42.880 What I find most disturbing is the actual technique. 0.97

00:40:46.740 And I know that's weird to think that I actually know anything better about machete dueling,

00:40:50.320 but it just struck me as really rudimentary.

00:40:53.360 Like, they're not doing anything tactically.

00:40:55.360 They're just swinging wildly.

00:40:56.580 You think you could win in a machete fight?

00:40:59.200 Here's the thing, guys.

00:41:00.060 If you ever see a video...

00:41:00.920 I think I do better than them. 0.99

00:41:02.320 If there's a video of Bob Watson doing a machete fight, you'd be like, oh shit. 1.00

00:41:06.800 Like, he must know how to fucking machete fight. 1.00

00:41:09.000 No. 0.99

00:41:10.140 If I'm machete fighting, I'm going to be a professional.

00:41:12.160 These guys decided to do it amateur at the gas station?

00:41:15.740 Incredible. 0.99

00:41:16.720 It's Edward nigger hands. 1.00

00:41:18.200 You're in a little carried away. 0.99

00:41:24.440 You're out of pocket, Toad.

00:41:26.800 You're out of pocket.

00:41:30.120 Oh, I didn't even think about this.

00:41:32.300 It's Afro Samurai. 0.77

00:41:33.720 It's a t-shirt, dude. 0.98

00:41:34.940 Edward nigger hands. 1.00

00:41:38.200 We're just Afro Samurai, but with his hand cut off and a machete. 0.99

00:41:42.960 Toad with a banger.

00:41:44.920 Yo, what are you going to do with the scissors?

00:41:46.560 Are you going to put a bunch of different George Floyds on his fingers?

00:41:49.640 No, definitely just like Henny bottles.

00:41:52.640 Or like...

00:41:53.560 Henny bottles.

00:42:03.800 No, this is easy.

00:42:05.420 Just chicken wings.

00:42:06.540 Just chicken wings.

00:42:07.740 Just chicken wings.

00:42:09.340 Just drumsticks.

00:42:10.500 It's just Edward 40 hands with Henny bottles.

00:42:14.360 What do you think he did with that hand?

00:42:16.560 Where he went and picked it up?

00:42:18.060 He went to the doctor that they don't have in their nation.

00:42:19.900 Yeah, they do.

00:42:22.100 Tried to reattach it.

00:42:23.180 He went to Aquavius.

00:42:24.640 Aquavius had it happen to him before.

00:42:26.440 He picked it up.

00:42:28.440 He burned some incense or something.

00:42:31.260 He's like, hold on, play.

00:42:31.960 Let me get some incense from the store.

00:42:33.280 Let me just cauterize this. 0.99

00:42:34.640 I wonder if nothing can get fixed or just fucked. 0.98

00:42:36.720 I like the idea of both of the machete dual participants arriving at the same hospital 0.99

00:42:42.580 at the same time and be like, here we go again.

00:42:46.920 They sell the machetes.

00:42:48.500 They're on the gurneys.

00:42:51.240 The hospital has an entire machete ward.

00:42:57.240 They go, oh, not again.

00:42:58.620 We already have our machete wards overflowing again.

00:43:00.820 This is how that UK civil war is going to be for.

00:43:03.600 That's going to be sick.

00:43:04.440 But no one's blocking, though.

00:43:05.880 You know what?

00:43:06.660 When we had a war with swords, you'd assume that, you know what?

00:43:10.120 Honestly, most of it was probably just that.

00:43:12.460 Like a war with swords.

00:43:13.940 Top, I don't think you understand.

00:43:14.840 When white people did sword battles, they had shields. 0.82

00:43:17.920 Top, top, top.

00:43:19.800 They're shields of their hands.

00:43:20.960 Hold on.

00:43:22.200 Top, top.

00:43:22.720 We have a whole continent.

00:43:23.960 Top, we have a whole continent of history that's showing how black people fight with swords.

00:43:27.760 They never changed.

00:43:29.320 We can go look at Africa, and they did the same thing with machetes. 0.98

00:43:32.480 They both go look at them fighting. 0.99

00:43:34.200 They're all fucking half naked, just going out there. 1.00

00:43:38.120 They're just blocking with their arms, doing weird shit. 0.99

00:43:41.920 Blocking with their arms. 0.98

00:43:43.320 Whereas you go to Europe, and they're plate armor, head to toe, shields, and fencing, trying to parry and shit. 0.98

00:43:50.500 They're trying to figure it out. 0.97

00:43:52.060 Full body armor.

00:43:53.180 They've studied swordsmanship.

00:43:54.500 Yeah, but this is not – I do wish this is what the CIA was giving.

00:44:00.000 Instead of giving – I think they – someone said it's spears, Cole.

00:44:03.540 I think they also – you know what?

00:44:04.900 They kind of might be right because spears are way more rudimentary than swords are.

00:44:08.680 Spears are just a small machete. 0.98

00:44:10.260 But this is how black people do everything. 0.99

00:44:12.380 They're very low skill at everything, but they're extreme athleticism. 0.98

00:44:15.760 In MMA, when you watch a black dude, the skill level is always markedly lower than the white dude he's facing.

00:44:21.440 Like, the white dude will have some kind of technique, unless we're talking about Israel Adesanya.

00:44:24.860 He's, like, you know, he's got great technique.

00:44:27.240 Most of the black people, it's just, like, they get over on, like, their physical attributes, but they still lose a lot. 1.00

00:44:33.200 What happened Saturday – or was it this last Saturday or the Saturday before that with the Muslim dude? 0.95

00:44:40.060 Yeah. 0.99

00:44:40.920 Yeah, I don't know what the fuck that was. 0.98

00:44:42.640 That was a terrible fight, though. 0.98

00:44:43.820 That was, like, a – it was just bad, but, yeah.

00:44:47.560 Adesanya also grew up around white people, so that's why he has technique. 1.00

00:44:50.580 Oh, yeah, Clint, what do you think about Pereira raping that bitch? 1.00

00:44:53.800 Wait, what? 1.00

00:44:54.980 Oh.

00:44:55.180 You didn't hear about this?

00:44:56.160 Someone find it or the video.

00:44:57.780 Like, there's, like, a one –

00:44:58.520 Wait, there's a video of it?

00:44:59.720 Well, her talking about what he supposedly did.

00:45:01.900 Yeah, the sex video dropped.

00:45:03.160 I was, like, so, are you asking me if I think he's guilty or if you want me to comment on his technique?

00:45:08.860 Would you watch an Alex Pereira sex video? 0.71

00:45:14.180 Yes. 0.99

00:45:14.400 Rape video?

00:45:15.220 Of course. 0.99

00:45:16.040 Sex and rape video. 1.00

00:45:17.140 I would watch both. 0.99

00:45:17.740 I feel like I feel bad about it.

00:45:18.860 Is there a difference?

00:45:19.940 No, no.

00:45:20.680 Yeah.

00:45:22.180 Yeah, there is.

00:45:23.280 I did say in the pre-show that Alex Pereira has, like – I don't think he does rape.

00:45:27.660 I don't think he's a rapist. 0.76

00:45:28.720 But I think he embodies the spirit of rape. 0.99

00:45:31.380 Like, I think he – like, even when he does have consensual sex, it's very rapey. 0.99

00:45:35.700 I feel like at some point – like, if there was one guy on the planet, like, the guy who can't be beat by anybody in the octagon, I feel like he should be the guy that's allowed to rape. 0.97

00:45:44.400 Yeah. 0.98

00:45:45.540 I said that I think he – I think this woman is lying, but he does actually rape.

00:45:49.360 But when he does rape the victim, it becomes not rape just because he's so, like, dominant over them. 0.99

00:45:55.260 I think he's open to the idea of rape, but he didn't rape this bitch. 1.00

00:45:59.080 I also think that if he – because, like you said, I think the pound-for-pound champion of the world should be able to rape because it's, like, stop them. 0.99

00:46:10.240 Just, like, okay, if you think they're rape, if they do rape, you have to go stop them personally.

00:46:15.000 And, like, you can't.

00:46:15.640 I feel like if you can't stop them with a machete, then they get to do what they want.

00:46:24.700 Oh, that's a good idea.

00:46:25.880 No.

00:46:26.240 All right. 1.00

00:46:27.420 Do you think you could stop – like, if you saw Paradella, like, raping a bitch, and you had a machete. 1.00

00:46:33.100 No, I couldn't stop him. 1.00

00:46:33.800 You couldn't stop him?

00:46:35.080 No, he's a machete. 1.00

00:46:36.540 He's too tall and crazy. 0.99

00:46:38.560 Pretty sure he can rape energy, right? 0.99

00:46:40.300 I don't know. 1.00

00:46:40.820 I feel like I could stop him with a machete. 1.00

00:46:42.260 If he's already trying to rape a bitch, like, he's distracted by rape, I could kill him. 1.00

00:46:47.540 I'm kind of wondering why did the black dudes with the machetes not go after them? 1.00

00:46:51.300 He's holding her down already, but he definitely sees you coming up to him. 0.87

00:46:55.200 Like, he sees you with a machete.

00:46:56.440 Let me tell you exactly what would happen, Cole.

00:46:58.200 You see Alex Pereira drilling some poor chick on the floor. 1.00

00:47:02.100 You come busting the fucking door. 1.00

00:47:04.160 He goes – you're like, stop that. 1.00

00:47:05.480 And I say, hey, get your damn hands off her. 1.00

00:47:07.780 And you cock your machete hand back, and you fucking start to swing. 1.00

00:47:10.440 He poses a gigantic dick out of his broad. 1.00

00:47:12.980 He stands up, and he goes, ha, and he blocks the machete with his left hand because apparently 1.00

00:47:17.240 that's a thing. 1.00

00:47:18.040 And then he fucking kills you with his right hand. 1.00

00:47:20.300 It is over in one punch. 1.00

00:47:22.200 Here's what the reality is.

00:47:23.360 He grabs the machete from you.

00:47:25.540 I think you might end up just doing what Toad did.

00:47:28.060 You just sit in the corner, and you watch. 1.00

00:47:30.340 Yeah, you wouldn't say shit. 1.00

00:47:31.660 Maybe you jerk off. 1.00

00:47:32.180 I would attack him afterwards, yeah. 1.00

00:47:33.880 I would – 0.89

00:47:34.840 You'd let him finish?

00:47:36.280 Well, then what's the point?

00:47:37.260 I mean, at least like now in the room, there's two people –

00:47:44.260 What are you, an American cop? 0.99

00:47:45.040 You're waiting until the fucking victim is done? 1.00

00:47:47.280 What I'll say, what I'll say, let me make my argument. 1.00

00:47:52.220 Before I walked in, before I walked into this room and saw him raping somebody, at that point,

00:47:56.900 it was one person enjoying, one person not enjoying.

00:48:02.660 Now when I walk into the room, it's two people enjoying, one person not enjoying.

00:48:05.980 Now we have a plurality, all right? 1.00

00:48:09.480 Welcome to democracy, bitch. 1.00

00:48:11.660 Is it rape? 1.00

00:48:12.460 Is what you're saying?

00:48:13.700 But now whenever it stops, now I'm not enjoying anymore.

00:48:16.480 So now it's 2v1. 0.97

00:48:18.060 Now I need to attack him with the machete. 0.97

00:48:19.840 Now, cool man. 1.00

00:48:20.520 You're a psycho. 1.00

00:48:21.920 That's ideal timing too. 1.00

00:48:24.020 Like if – because you've confused him.

00:48:25.400 He's like, this guy's accepted what's happening. 0.99

00:48:27.820 It's also like as he's like, oh, oh, right in the fucking throat. 0.99

00:48:32.000 Just like done. 1.00

00:48:33.040 I saved you.

00:48:34.160 Oh, yeah.

00:48:34.840 While he's – yeah, mid and calm, that's when he drops his guard.

00:48:38.700 If you were the girl and you saw this guy walk in with a machete, sit down and watch you the entire time.

00:48:46.800 He finishes.

00:48:47.880 He gets off and the guy comes up and kills him and he's just like, you're welcome.

00:48:52.080 And then he just walks up.

00:48:53.140 That's some post-nut clarity right there.

00:48:55.400 It's like you're a post-nut clarity.

00:48:57.740 You like shatter your whole world.

00:48:59.000 I don't even think I would make her feel better.

00:49:00.360 I think that would be just like trauma on top of trauma.

00:49:03.900 It won't ever happen again.

00:49:05.400 That's how you do it. 0.85

00:49:07.620 She's covered in her rapist blood and you're just like, have a good night. 0.99

00:49:11.520 You're like, still inside her. 1.00

00:49:13.600 Also, we make it so much worse if like in the mid while she's getting raped, you like pull your dick out and you start tugging on it a little bit. 1.00

00:49:23.740 But then like you're like, I really hated that part. 0.99

00:49:25.760 Like it was – I had – but it was just – it was –

00:49:27.640 It was part of the mind game.

00:49:29.300 But you're like, I got rid of them for you.

00:49:31.780 I saved the day.

00:49:32.980 I still – the day is saved.

00:49:34.860 We were asking what is a unit of rape in the pre-show and if you would have showed up, Clint, you would have been able to respond.

00:49:42.980 But the unit of rape – so here's the thing.

00:49:45.140 Oh, God.

00:49:45.860 My turn.

00:49:46.480 For a woman – 0.98

00:49:47.520 For a woman, the unit of rape is one once she is penetrated. 1.00

00:49:55.000 For a man, I think a unit of rape is one once he comes because you don't – like, you know, the unit of fuck is all the way until you come. 1.00

00:50:04.680 But that means she can be raped but you haven't raped her yet. 1.00

00:50:07.500 We have a toad fight challenge in the chat. 0.99

00:50:10.120 We have what?

00:50:10.880 A toad fight challenge in the chat.

00:50:13.320 That's a woman. 1.00

00:50:14.520 Yes. 1.00

00:50:14.720 She'll kick your ass though. 1.00

00:50:16.080 Wow. 1.00

00:50:17.080 She looks intimidating, man.

00:50:18.420 Which one of us is older?

00:50:20.440 You know Emily.

00:50:21.360 Probably you.

00:50:21.920 I'm old.

00:50:22.460 I'm old, man.

00:50:23.260 I love that you think that's the variable that's going to make the difference.

00:50:27.160 Yeah.

00:50:27.720 Age is a factor.

00:50:28.480 You're a man, for God's sakes.

00:50:29.700 What are we talking about here?

00:50:31.300 That's right.

00:50:31.580 I got the XY chromosome, man.

00:50:35.420 I think I would win.

00:50:36.440 I would win.

00:50:37.640 I want to see it badly.

00:50:38.840 I don't know.

00:50:40.100 I don't want to beat up a chick. 1.00

00:50:41.480 It's the 12th time I've asked. 0.97

00:50:43.940 Then again, this chick, dude, if she's asking this, she's got some psycho energy. 1.00

00:50:53.420 It's going to be like one of those pornos that start as a, have you ever seen those that 1.00

00:50:58.360 start as like a wrestling, but then they end up where they're naked and fucking? 0.99

00:51:02.220 Have you seen that? 0.99

00:51:02.780 That's what this is going to be.

00:51:03.900 Toad, Toad.

00:51:04.820 Oh.

00:51:05.220 Toad, I'll make you a deal.

00:51:06.880 Yeah. 0.99

00:51:07.060 If you're struggling in round one, you tag me in and I just go house this bitch in round 1.00

00:51:11.040 two. 0.99

00:51:12.160 Is it tag team?

00:51:13.020 So then can she tag in somebody else that we can also?

00:51:15.520 No.

00:51:15.840 She tags in Perjeta and we're double teaming her?

00:51:21.060 Tyler, we have a video of her so you can see what she looks like and then we can decide 0.62

00:51:28.320 if she can take you.

00:51:29.760 Can you just please pull that up, Tyler?

00:51:30.920 Tyler, it's in the private stream yard chat.

00:51:33.540 I'm really interested because I don't think you can, I don't know how tall she is, but

00:51:37.140 she's like a little crazy person. 1.00

00:51:38.440 Does she outweigh me? 0.89

00:51:39.440 He specifically is a Catholic priest and he has spent most of his time as a priest specializing

00:51:48.360 in exorcism, which if you ask Dr. Shane Gash.

00:51:56.940 Wait, oh, this is actually her?

00:51:58.460 This is her.

00:51:59.360 This is Emily.

00:51:59.780 Oh, God. 0.97

00:52:00.920 Where'd her boobs go? 1.00

00:52:03.680 What? 0.99

00:52:05.240 That's not nice.

00:52:06.300 Did they completely fall onto the floor?

00:52:08.140 Where are they?

00:52:09.340 Wow.

00:52:09.840 Emily, she's very...

00:52:10.880 I'm sorry.

00:52:11.980 I'm sorry. 0.99

00:52:12.640 Emily, I'm really sorry, but the roll under your boobs is bigger than your boobs are. 1.00

00:52:18.680 Oh, come on. 0.99

00:52:19.640 She's sitting like this.

00:52:20.800 She will be at...

00:52:21.720 Guys, Brohimi and Grove, she will be there. 0.99

00:52:24.020 She's going to beat the fuck out of all of you. 1.00

00:52:25.620 You do not look unhealthy. 1.00

00:52:27.460 You look fine.

00:52:28.380 No, you look really...

00:52:29.780 Okay, can't she beat up Toad, though? 1.00

00:52:32.740 Dude, her dimensions are like 34, zero, 34.

00:52:36.520 She's 5'3", 146 pounds. 1.00

00:52:39.040 She's going to fuck him up. 1.00

00:52:40.240 She shouldn't be able to beat him, but I think she would. 1.00

00:52:44.420 I think she could beat his ass. 1.00

00:52:45.380 I think I could beat her. 1.00

00:52:47.780 I think Emily beats the shit out of you. 1.00

00:52:50.940 Accept the fight, Toad. 0.99

00:52:52.100 Accept the fight.

00:52:53.380 We're on the verge of getting...

00:52:54.620 Wait, is this boxing or wrestling?

00:52:56.340 We're on the verge of getting magic wrestling.

00:52:58.300 Or is it MMA?

00:52:59.240 You know what's amazing about this?

00:53:01.140 Is that Toad's in such bad health that there's a decent chance he dies in the ring of fighting a woman.

00:53:06.120 Oh, my God.

00:53:06.640 One amazing way for him to go out.

00:53:08.040 Such great content.

00:53:09.280 I will say this.

00:53:10.240 Okay, this is just a slight tweak.

00:53:13.020 Not talking about her.

00:53:14.900 I'm just saying that your stickers on both of your computers are great.

00:53:20.360 But then why the Razor sticker?

00:53:21.880 It doesn't fit in with all that.

00:53:23.760 It's just like...

00:53:24.780 Razor sticker?

00:53:26.100 What are you talking about?

00:53:26.660 It's Razor right there. 0.74

00:53:27.720 The little snake thing.

00:53:29.200 That's Razor.

00:53:30.060 I don't know what that is. 1.00

00:53:31.220 What a stupid comment. 1.00

00:53:32.520 I know. 1.00

00:53:33.060 Just don't talk about things that don't matter.

00:53:34.660 Who cares? 0.99

00:53:35.980 He's going to tell us a more zoomer shit. 0.99

00:53:37.980 It's literally the same as my mouse. 0.99

00:53:40.460 Wait, when is Brohame and Grove?

00:53:42.980 How many months do I get?

00:53:44.480 October 25th and the 26th.

00:53:46.500 Yeah, I'm going to train.

00:53:47.560 You've got a little bit over two months to get your life in order.

00:53:50.780 To train to fight a woman. 0.99

00:53:52.700 Seriously, if you guys want to do this... 0.99

00:53:55.040 I'm going to get a rape shape. 1.00

00:53:56.440 We have other people... 0.98

00:53:57.600 Get in rape shape. 0.99

00:53:58.160 We have other people that kind of want to fight.

00:54:00.120 And if they do, I can get midget wrestlers. 0.99

00:54:02.220 And they come in and bring their own fucking wrestling ring. 1.00

00:54:04.800 This shit would be retarded. 1.00

00:54:05.900 But I got to know. 1.00

00:54:06.520 If you want to fight Emily, we can totally do that in a ring. 1.00

00:54:09.720 Real shit? 0.99

00:54:10.340 It's got to be MMA. 0.99

00:54:11.300 It would be awesome.

00:54:12.500 It would be awesome to see you just like... 0.99

00:54:14.320 Either way, if you fuck a girl up, it's going to be hilarious. 1.00

00:54:17.060 And if a girl fucks you up, oh my God, I may die laughing. 1.00

00:54:19.640 Get your affairs in order. 1.00

00:54:23.860 Lainey's got the X, Y, man.

00:54:25.320 I think Lainey would beat me. 1.00

00:54:26.820 Do you think we could set up fights for all of us?

00:54:30.840 I'm not fighting, but yeah, I guess we could.

00:54:32.840 Lainey would kill Toad. 0.97

00:54:33.880 Lainey would kill Toad. 0.95

00:54:34.860 That's not fair. 0.68

00:54:36.280 Because that's a...

00:54:36.820 I feel like a Cole-Lainey fight would be interesting.

00:54:40.820 Oh, God.

00:54:41.520 It's just...

00:54:42.080 No, because Lainey could beat...

00:54:44.240 But you have size and strength on him now.

00:54:46.880 But he's got that muscle memory.

00:54:48.460 So I'm like...

00:54:48.920 Yeah, Lainey has training. 1.00

00:54:51.620 I would have to like...

00:54:52.300 Maybe if I train for the next couple months...

00:54:54.580 I probably outweighed him by 50 pounds at this point.

00:54:57.480 You know what?

00:54:58.220 I think it's good.

00:54:58.740 This is a good time to pull up a... 0.98

00:55:00.540 Tyler, let's pull up a fucking Lainey edit. 0.99

00:55:02.840 We'll do our... 1.00

00:55:03.420 We have our little fucking stinger here. 0.99

00:55:04.840 Lainey top actually would be a good fight. 0.99

00:55:07.380 Oh, we got a Lainey edit?

00:55:08.420 All right, let's do it.

00:55:09.080 I don't know how tall Lainey is. 1.00

00:55:10.120 Dude, you know what would be dope is if Lainey just beat the shit out of Toad and then fucked him? 1.00

00:55:14.320 That'd be cool. 0.99

00:55:16.720 Allow me, Hobbamok, production.

00:55:19.680 Let's check it out.

00:55:23.100 I love that edit.

00:55:24.220 That was awesome.

00:55:26.100 Tower train.

00:55:27.520 Yeah, you got the disco.

00:55:29.800 What do we got going on here? 1.00

00:55:35.680 I don't fuck myself with my shit. 1.00

00:55:40.100 Oh my gosh! 1.00

00:55:41.060 I would probably blow a dude before I get buttfucked. 1.00

00:55:43.600 Okay, yeah. 1.00

00:55:45.020 I would literally die this.

00:55:49.660 Oh my gosh! 1.00

00:55:50.380 What do you guys want to talk about Israeli rape? 0.97

00:56:05.240 I love this funk music, man. 1.00

00:56:07.300 Oh, that's cool as shit. 0.99

00:56:19.000 If you face it in my mouth, I'll never fucking not know what that's like. 0.99

00:56:22.860 And that's maybe the best ever. 0.99

00:56:26.140 I don't think that's what I said. 1.00

00:56:30.400 I bet you rape babies can fuck. 1.00

00:56:33.900 One of the babies, like grown up. 1.00

00:56:35.440 I can guarantee you'll enjoy the ride, especially if you like your soul ice cold,

00:56:46.480 because none other than the Iceman himself is going to be looking right dead in your eyes

00:56:51.080 after this very important message.

00:56:53.200 You don't drink what I drink.

00:56:56.500 You don't smoke what I smoke.

00:56:59.840 You don't think like I think.

00:57:02.800 No joke like I joke.

00:57:05.080 What?

00:57:06.240 I got a fight.

00:57:09.080 Oh, and one yesterday.

00:57:11.000 What else is new?

00:57:12.420 It's out of pain.

00:57:15.060 We can't rape people? 1.00

00:57:16.560 What? 0.99

00:57:16.980 We were like looking at some tranny and talking about how hot she was. 1.00

00:57:24.860 And I was like, just see this fucking tranny just pounding her pud right into his mouth. 1.00

00:57:28.960 Her pud into his mouth. 1.00

00:57:31.260 The comments are full of people saying that I'm crazy, that I'm a psychopath, that I'm 1.00

00:57:35.900 a serial killer. 0.93

00:57:36.740 Oh, my God.

00:57:53.020 That was like blaxploitation vibes.

00:57:55.940 That made the show last week actually look good.

00:58:00.900 It did.

00:58:02.920 I was concerned for Lee. 1.00

00:58:04.280 I was like, what's he going to do with this shit? 1.00

00:58:05.720 Like we handed him bullshit yesterday. 1.00

00:58:07.740 Oh, last week. 0.99

00:58:08.300 We had some rough moments.

00:58:09.820 He made it work.

00:58:10.580 It was an all right episode.

00:58:12.100 Yeah.

00:58:12.360 I think Top put it right in our chat that I'm the heart of the show.

00:58:16.500 The heart.

00:58:17.800 The beating muscle in the.

00:58:19.600 Lainey's edit of LL got a quarter million impressions on Twitter. 1.00

00:58:22.980 Good shit, Lainey. 0.99

00:58:23.400 Hell yeah. 1.00

00:58:24.040 Hell yeah.

00:58:25.500 Yeah.

00:58:26.100 Whoever commented that before is completely right.

00:58:29.520 When are you going to ditch these.

00:58:30.620 Oh, no, no.

00:58:31.040 That's not the right one. 0.99

00:58:32.340 When are you going to ditch these losers and go solo? 0.98

00:58:34.780 Yeah. 0.96

00:58:35.020 And it's like, look, Lainey, Lainey is obviously a very special talent.

00:58:38.840 But let's be honest.

00:58:39.680 Without us, Lainey is irrelevant. 0.98

00:58:42.980 Who knows?

00:58:45.300 Probably because Lainey would be dead. 0.95

00:58:47.300 I mean, the nature of what he's doing does rely on having something to jump off of in a

00:58:52.160 certain sense.

00:58:52.600 Although he could just make these for fun.

00:58:54.060 But then you just end up being like a thousand follower account or something that people.

00:58:57.980 Don't be wrong. 0.96

00:58:58.440 He has like, I think 15K already, but some previous shit. 0.67

00:59:00.860 But point being is, it's not like that big. 0.99

00:59:03.240 But when you attach it to something else, it's fucking. 0.97

00:59:06.540 We're Lainey's region to live, though. 0.99

00:59:08.640 Here's the truth.

00:59:09.380 Lainey could go out and make edits for way better shows and with way more talent and make

00:59:13.980 way more of a splash.

00:59:14.920 Yeah.

00:59:15.140 But you know what?

00:59:15.860 He doesn't. 1.00

00:59:16.600 Because he loves real shit. 1.00

00:59:18.100 And this is real shit. 1.00

00:59:18.900 And Lainey's real shit. 1.00

00:59:19.840 And everything's real shit. 1.00

00:59:21.280 It's real shit, son. 1.00

00:59:23.500 Oh, yeah. 1.00

00:59:23.800 No, he could go somewhere bigger.

00:59:24.800 My point is he couldn't do solo.

00:59:26.060 That would be weird.

00:59:27.060 Lainey is the realest tranny. 1.00

00:59:29.540 Is this true, though? 1.00

00:59:30.280 Toad is the penis. 1.00

00:59:31.120 I'm the heart. 1.00

00:59:31.860 Jose is the lungs.

00:59:32.660 And he said it's Cedra.

00:59:33.560 But Cedra doesn't make sense.

00:59:35.440 Because you would also have to say what. 1.00

00:59:36.940 Toad is the penis. 1.00

00:59:37.280 Colt is the heart. 1.00

00:59:38.160 Jose is the lungs.

00:59:39.900 I don't even know if that would be true.

00:59:40.960 Clint would be the brain.

00:59:43.880 Yeah.

00:59:44.040 And then Top would be the hand.

00:59:47.480 The fist.

00:59:48.660 He's not cut off.

00:59:49.780 I like that.

00:59:50.580 I like that.

00:59:51.040 Top is the machete hand.

00:59:52.940 Top would be the Cedra. 0.98

00:59:54.560 He's completely crazy.

00:59:59.160 I was going to say either Top is the hand or Top is the conscious. 0.92

01:00:03.040 Not in a good way.

01:00:04.380 Like the conscious as in he's just like.

01:00:07.360 I'm trying to think.

01:00:08.580 I don't think Clint would be the brain.

01:00:10.280 I think actually him being the hand and Top being the brain would make more sense.

01:00:13.040 Top is the hand because Top is the one that dulled the drawings.

01:00:16.400 Yeah, okay.

01:00:17.240 I guess.

01:00:18.100 I'm the hand.

01:00:18.580 Oh, that's good actually.

01:00:19.760 They tweet us into.

01:00:21.980 You don't tweet.

01:00:23.180 None of your tweets have anything to do with us.

01:00:25.900 No.

01:00:27.180 That's why I've had such a successful Twitter career.

01:00:33.360 We've got to do an ad and we've got to do a mailbag.

01:00:35.880 I guess we can do a mailbag in our post show.

01:00:40.820 I think the ad.

01:00:41.700 We'll do some mailbag in the main show.

01:00:44.280 We'll do the plugs here. 0.96

01:00:46.440 A lot of new shirts on fucking Tower Gang. 0.68

01:00:49.300 The Raperpalooza one is going to be in time for Clint shows and I'm really flirting with 0.82

01:00:53.440 wearing that when I'm on there. 0.99

01:00:55.120 How many people bought the Become Ungovernable with the fucking gas pump on his other's ass? 1.00

01:01:00.400 Oh, a couple people. 1.00

01:01:03.260 That's just a crazy shirt.

01:01:04.800 The Life is an Adventure one.

01:01:07.180 Yes.

01:01:07.700 How many people have bought this?

01:01:09.220 Multiple people have bought it.

01:01:10.020 Alex Pereira Raperpalooza shirt.

01:01:13.020 Alex Pereira Raperpalooza shirt.

01:01:14.520 That would do numbers right now. 0.95

01:01:16.440 Honestly, though, the Skip the Pussy one actually would be something anybody would do. 1.00

01:01:20.700 Yo, somebody bought this shit. 1.00

01:01:21.480 I gotta get that. 1.00

01:01:21.800 The flat-headed baby. 0.99

01:01:22.920 I don't know who the fuck is winning these things. 0.99

01:01:24.240 Can you imagine if we were actually doing Raperpalooza, which we've talked about ad nauseum, 0.99

01:01:28.740 and fucking... 0.99

01:01:29.880 Oh, no. 1.00

01:01:30.540 We feel like we've all got a chance against each other and then Alex Pereira shows up 1.00

01:01:35.000 and we're like, oh, fuck. 1.00

01:01:36.900 If we're going to do at fucking... 1.00

01:01:39.840 Yeah, there we go. 0.98

01:01:40.940 At Bohemian Grove, we have to have a section called Raperpalooza. 1.00

01:01:45.320 Like, we've got to have something going on for Tower Day.

01:01:47.220 Once we have our own event, it should be called Raperpalooza. 1.00

01:01:49.220 Dude, it could just be a tent with Toad inside naked and anyone could go in there and have

01:01:52.680 their way with him. 1.00

01:01:53.740 Dude, Raperpalooza and Toad just showing you his dick constantly? 1.00

01:01:56.400 What's the virgin coal shirt? 1.00

01:02:00.180 What?

01:02:01.060 Did you buy the Life as a Venture shirt?

01:02:03.420 I think he means the Life as a...

01:02:04.840 Yeah, that shirt is...

01:02:06.080 I guess he did.

01:02:07.380 Are you opposed to a Raperpalooza tent just with you in there fighting for your life?

01:02:13.060 Yeah.

01:02:13.520 Just peep. 1.00

01:02:14.520 Emily's about to go in there and fucking rape. 1.00

01:02:19.320 Do you think Emily could rape Toad? 1.00

01:02:21.480 Oh, yeah. 0.99

01:02:22.720 No, because I just consent.

01:02:24.640 Yeah, that's the thing.

01:02:25.680 It's from like... 0.96

01:02:26.320 Even without those titties? 0.93

01:02:30.680 No, because... 0.98

01:02:31.220 Small titties are all right. 1.00

01:02:33.220 You guys are so fucked. 1.00

01:02:33.900 You guys are so fucked. 1.00

01:02:36.160 I do like the idea of our skank fest being Raperpalooza. 1.00

01:02:39.480 Like, we do that one day.

01:02:40.680 And then we have all these big name people coming to Raperpalooza. 0.95

01:02:43.460 That is kind of because it's just like, oh, we named our festival Skank Fest because we're

01:02:48.340 edgy.

01:02:48.680 Like, we named ours Raperpalooza. 1.00

01:02:50.260 Nobody's coming to this shit. 0.99

01:02:53.420 You know what's funny? 1.00

01:02:54.640 Lewis had actually told me.

01:02:55.840 He was like, man...

01:02:57.040 He said, you know, when I named the festival, I had no idea it would be this big.

01:03:00.780 And now I regret kind of putting myself in a corner with Skank Fest.

01:03:04.280 And I legitimately would do.

01:03:06.440 If we did a festival, in the same vein, I would name it Raperpalooza.

01:03:10.280 Knowing that...

01:03:11.400 Yeah.

01:03:11.900 He told me.

01:03:12.860 He's like, I wish I would have named this.

01:03:14.020 I would have...

01:03:14.380 No.

01:03:14.820 You have to...

01:03:16.220 That's the way the culture is moving right now.

01:03:17.780 You go all out, man.

01:03:18.580 Raperpalooza. 1.00

01:03:19.980 Skank Fest is team.

01:03:20.640 We're swinging hard.

01:03:21.700 Yeah, there's no pussyfooting around. 1.00

01:03:22.920 You're either in Raperpalooza or you're not. 0.97

01:03:25.180 I just want to fucking meet the girls that show up for Raperpalooza 2024. 1.00

01:03:29.880 Like, what a bunch of savage broads. 1.00

01:03:31.040 The only people who have bought those shirts. 0.94

01:03:32.380 The only people who have bought...

01:03:33.420 Raperpalooza Kate will be the only one. 1.00

01:03:35.480 If you're a woman and you show up to the Raperpalooza shirt, you are down. 1.00

01:03:39.440 You are a down bitch. 1.00

01:03:40.740 Like, you are like... 1.00

01:03:41.500 Can you imagine the news stories when they get big enough that there are rapes at Raperpalooza

01:03:45.480 and they have to report that in the news? 0.99

01:03:47.760 We would be so fucked. 1.00

01:03:49.000 I know that girl. 1.00

01:03:49.020 I could invite this fucking midget slash giant brigade of broads and we could just walk. 1.00

01:03:54.080 We are shocked and afford. 1.00

01:03:58.020 There'll be a segment of Raperpalooza called the Smolacost. 1.00

01:04:01.000 The crazy thing is, I bet there would be less rapes at Raperpalooza than there are at Skankfest.

01:04:05.900 Yeah, probably.

01:04:06.900 Tower Gang has put out an official statement.

01:04:09.100 We are shocked and abhorred that there was rapes that happened at Raperpalooza.

01:04:14.520 We do not condone...

01:04:15.060 This is not the spirit of Raperpalooza.

01:04:17.740 This is not the spirit of Raperpalooza.

01:04:20.220 It's exactly the spirit of that. 0.99

01:04:22.060 Raperpalooza is a family-friendly shit. 1.00

01:04:27.500 When we started Raperpalooza four years ago, this is not the values we had in mind. 0.98

01:04:32.800 One of the attendees did not understand the spirit of the event.

01:04:36.620 We apologize to all the attendees and particularly the victim of this heinous act.

01:04:42.520 We were giving Raperpalooza a bad name. 1.00

01:04:44.340 This pairs so nicely with the story of our co-host saying that, yeah, no, I'd let him finish the rape and then cut his head off. 0.98

01:04:52.700 That's in the spirit of Raperpalooza. 1.00

01:04:55.320 Do you cut his head off while his dick is still inside of her and then his dick just stays hard because it goes into rigor mortis? 1.00

01:05:02.180 We already treaded that territory and you had to go back to it, but all right. 1.00

01:05:05.880 Mark Vestibule.

01:05:08.640 Mark Vestibule, thank you.

01:05:11.060 What makes you a biological man more from Owen Benjamin?

01:05:14.780 Was this like a poll?

01:05:15.900 Dicker Balls.

01:05:17.080 Oh, Dicker Balls. 1.00

01:05:18.000 Yes, that's right. 0.95

01:05:18.780 Dicker Balls, yes. 1.00

01:05:19.720 It's Balls.

01:05:20.460 Balls is the actual.

01:05:23.180 No, I think it's.

01:05:24.060 Are you saying Raven is a half man?

01:05:27.460 Yes.

01:05:29.080 It's the Balls.

01:05:30.080 It's definitely a Balls.

01:05:31.160 It's the Balls. 1.00

01:05:32.000 I think it's the dick. 1.00

01:05:32.960 The key word biological. 1.00

01:05:34.400 So from a biological sense, your Balls are where you get more of the, like, you get more, like, hormones and stuff and testes and, like, it produces semen. 1.00

01:05:41.900 Bro, this is such an easy fucking question. 1.00

01:05:43.620 If you have a dick but no balls, no one's going to question if you're a man. 1.00

01:05:46.880 If you have balls and no dick, everyone's going to question if you're a man. 1.00

01:05:49.720 But what makes you a biological man more? 1.00

01:05:51.400 But maybe they're wrong.

01:05:51.940 So in a biological sense.

01:05:53.380 No, no, I don't think that's true.

01:05:54.700 I don't think that's true. 1.00

01:05:55.660 Dude, you're just walking around with no dick and a bunch of balls? 1.00

01:05:57.760 Like, no one's going to think you're a dude. 1.00

01:05:59.320 No, I think, no.

01:06:00.200 But biologically, you're more of a dude.

01:06:02.720 I think you might be right. 0.99

01:06:03.620 Because it's balls and ovaries are the main thing, yeah. 1.00

01:06:07.760 I think a eunuch is closer to a woman than a trans dude that just cuts off his penises to a woman. 1.00

01:06:16.760 Would you be more mad if your wife got raped by a dude with no dick? 1.00

01:06:22.220 Or a dude with no dick but huge balls? 1.00

01:06:25.120 Or if she got raped by a dude with a huge dick and no balls? 1.00

01:06:28.740 I'd be confounded by the former. 1.00

01:06:30.340 Like, what? 1.00

01:06:30.560 Yeah, if you got raped... 1.00

01:06:32.160 I'd be like, would you let that piece of shit put his balls in your pussy? 1.00

01:06:35.300 No, I would just be impressed. 1.00

01:06:37.460 I'd be like, is that even rape? 1.00

01:06:40.440 I'd be like, would you let it put his balls in your pussy? 1.00

01:06:42.580 I'd be like, was that lesbian sex? 1.00

01:06:44.240 I don't know. 1.00

01:06:44.540 Maybe it's hot.

01:06:44.940 I don't know how he did it, but your wife came. 0.98

01:06:47.660 And it had something to do with what's between his legs. 0.99

01:06:50.080 Dude, she came off of his nuts? 0.99

01:06:52.460 It's an confusing question. 0.94

01:06:53.500 Wait, wait, wait.

01:06:54.180 What?

01:06:55.880 It's not rape unless she comes, right? 1.00

01:06:57.260 I'm not...

01:06:57.640 By the way, I'm not even mad at him now.

01:06:59.140 I'm mad at her.

01:06:59.880 You came from this... 1.00

01:07:00.940 It's rape if there's penetration. 1.00

01:07:01.900 You came from a nigga with just balls, and then you can't come from me? 1.00

01:07:06.820 Like, what is going on? 1.00

01:07:11.100 You bitch. 1.00

01:07:11.900 My whole ass dick can't get you off, but his nuts did? 1.00

01:07:15.660 You got your fucking mind? 1.00

01:07:17.000 Dude, if you have balls and no dick, like, where does the cum go? 1.00

01:07:19.980 It's just friction, yeah, and it goes out of your belly button. 1.00

01:07:22.660 It's just friction and, like, bowl slapping.

01:07:24.760 It's like belly rubbing.

01:07:25.840 You just burp and it comes.

01:07:29.920 It just kind of falls out. 0.99

01:07:31.600 You ever had the ball slapping sex? 0.98

01:07:33.860 That is some, like, where it's, like... 0.99

01:07:36.180 At my age, there's only one type of sex, and it's ball slapping sex. 1.00

01:07:42.340 This is the back of your knee, like, what the fuck is that? 1.00

01:07:46.360 She's like, stop putting your finger on my asshole. 1.00

01:07:48.180 He's like, that's my balls, bitch. 1.00

01:07:53.300 You trying to put two fingers up there now? 1.00

01:07:55.040 No, just the nuts.

01:07:55.980 Honestly, though, that is the best.

01:07:57.860 That is the best.

01:07:58.380 Sometimes if it's cold, you're not going to get the ball slapping stuff.

01:08:01.180 No.

01:08:01.640 But, like, if it's not, you're like, hell yeah.

01:08:04.440 This feels like full immersion. 1.00

01:08:08.580 There's that guy that can put his balls in his asshole. 1.00

01:08:11.300 He was on your mom's house. 1.00

01:08:14.040 So maybe you can put your balls in her asshole, like, legitimately, and still fuck her at the same time. 1.00

01:08:19.160 Is that the rape? 1.00

01:08:20.340 That guy seems cool as fuck. 1.00

01:08:21.680 I bet he'd be fine. 1.00

01:08:22.180 If you put your balls in your asshole, is that a two-in-one? 1.00

01:08:25.860 What? 1.00

01:08:26.080 What?

01:08:27.200 I don't know. 1.00

01:08:28.220 Then you shit your balls out after? 1.00

01:08:29.600 Is that, like, how you do it? 0.99

01:08:30.940 Mathematically speaking, yes.

01:08:33.000 This is also, I like this question. 1.00

01:08:35.260 Are you more of a man if you have two dicks or three balls? 1.00

01:08:41.000 I still say two dicks. 1.00

01:08:42.640 I don't know. 0.99

01:08:43.000 Or it has to be, I guess, equivalent. 0.99

01:08:47.080 So it would be either two dicks or four balls. 0.97

01:08:49.540 I mean, assuming these are functional balls and they provide everything. 0.97

01:08:54.240 How are they functional? 1.00

01:08:56.200 You don't have a dick to fucking unload them. 1.00

01:08:57.640 I don't know. 1.00

01:08:58.640 No, no, no, no, no, no, no. 1.00

01:09:00.060 Let's just say it's like you have your dick. 1.00

01:09:02.420 It's just your dick regular, but you have four balls now. 1.00

01:09:04.540 I think you have twice as much testosterone as the balls. 1.00

01:09:07.540 I think you just double the testosterone. 0.98

01:09:09.600 I don't have a deep enough understanding of the endocrine system, so I don't know if that'd work.

01:09:12.980 Let's just say it does double your testosterone. 0.91

01:09:15.940 It's testosterone.

01:09:16.660 Wait, wait, wait. 1.00

01:09:17.600 If you guys had two dicks, and let's say you were just having regular sex with your wife, 1.00

01:09:21.600 and she's like, don't put this shit in my ass, too. 1.00

01:09:23.280 We're having regular sex. 1.00

01:09:24.420 So you just have sex with your favorite dick. 1.00

01:09:26.820 And then when you cum, do both dicks cum? 1.00

01:09:29.620 Like, even though this one was just like... 1.00

01:09:30.780 Oh, God, that would be amazing. 1.00

01:09:32.000 Dude, there's a dude with two dicks. 1.00

01:09:33.560 If you were looking at it, there's a guy with two dicks. 0.99

01:09:35.260 I remember reading a story about him. 1.00

01:09:36.360 He does porn. 0.99

01:09:38.060 He does porn? 0.98

01:09:38.380 I'm pretty sure only one of them would be functional. 0.99

01:09:41.460 No, he had both of his worked, and they were like hogs, too. 1.00

01:09:44.920 But one was more of a hog. 0.96

01:09:46.480 Of course.

01:09:46.860 It's wild.

01:09:48.500 Pull it up! 0.91

01:09:50.440 It sounds like some mid-2000s prosthetic action that you saw.

01:09:53.180 I know. 1.00

01:09:53.480 You just gotta fuck two women at once. 1.00

01:09:54.680 I remember being at work once amazed and just was digging into it. 1.00

01:09:57.860 No, I mean, obviously the answer is you get a chick that's super down into being DP'd, 1.00

01:10:02.000 and then you just DP her all the time. 1.00

01:10:03.300 Just jerk off one. 1.00

01:10:04.840 Yeah, just throw both dicks right in your pussy. 1.00

01:10:07.680 But then your dicks are hitting up against each other. 1.00

01:10:09.680 So is that gay? 1.00

01:10:10.800 I don't know. 0.58

01:10:11.780 Not for yourself.

01:10:12.840 No.

01:10:13.560 Oh, no. 1.00

01:10:14.600 But is it gay if you're fucking her? 1.00

01:10:16.120 You're fucking her, but you're also jerking off a dick at the same time. 1.00

01:10:28.540 You're jerking off your own dick with your dick, 1.00

01:10:30.800 but you're jerking off your own dick with your dick also. 1.00

01:10:34.500 Dude, what if you have one hard dick and one flaccid one, 1.00

01:10:36.640 and you wrap the flaccid one around your hard one? 1.00

01:10:39.260 I don't think there's a scenario where you have two dicks 1.00

01:10:41.580 that somehow interacting with those two dicks is gay unless it's with a dude. 0.99

01:10:44.760 No, but I think it's the spirit of gay. 1.00

01:10:46.980 I think we're talking about this. 0.93

01:10:47.660 Oh, the spirit of gay? 1.00

01:10:49.820 It's a double gay if you fuck a dude with your two dicks. 1.00

01:10:52.700 Oh. 1.00

01:10:53.600 Or if you fuck a dude with four balls. 1.00

01:10:56.280 What's gayer? 1.00

01:10:57.940 Oh, I say, oh, this is actually perfect. 1.00

01:10:59.800 If you fuck a dude and you've got two dicks 1.00

01:11:01.920 and you put both of your dicks in a dude's keister 1.00

01:11:04.040 versus if you have four balls and you fuck a dude in the ass, 1.00

01:11:07.040 you're obviously gayer if you've got two dicks in a dude's ass. 1.00

01:11:09.680 Or switch it and you get two dicks in your asshole 1.00

01:11:15.080 or necessarily the cum from four balls, 1.00

01:11:19.600 so it's double the cum. 0.99

01:11:21.760 That might actually be gayer. 1.00

01:11:23.060 That is actually very gay. 1.00

01:11:24.780 I don't think cum is stored in the balls, though. 1.00

01:11:27.240 This is actually good. 1.00

01:11:28.020 No, it's all a piece.

01:11:29.440 We've already established that you're burping up that immense load. 1.00

01:11:32.860 Dick-to-pussy ratio is off, and also jerking off is gay. 1.00

01:11:37.320 These are some pretty good points. 1.00

01:11:39.560 I will say, though, on the original question,

01:11:41.820 me and Cole are right here

01:11:44.680 because we're looking from the biological perspective.

01:11:46.720 The rest of you guys are looking from the spirit of a man.

01:11:48.720 No, I agree with you.

01:11:49.640 If the question was the spirit of the man, 0.99

01:11:51.920 but biologically speaking, if you don't have those balls, 0.99

01:11:54.520 you will become like a eunuch. 1.00

01:11:55.600 Even if you're a dick, you'll get more estrogen. 1.00

01:11:57.920 The spirit question, I think, is still balls 1.00

01:11:59.100 because if somebody does something really manly, 0.98

01:12:01.360 you say they have huge balls. 0.96

01:12:02.680 You say it was ballsy. 0.99

01:12:03.800 You don't say it was dicks-y. 0.98

01:12:05.520 It was dicks-y. 0.96

01:12:06.880 That's a great point. 0.89

01:12:08.300 That is a great point.

01:12:10.680 So with the logical point. 0.99

01:12:12.900 Checkmate, bitches. 1.00

01:12:16.340 Balls win again. 1.00

01:12:19.300 No matter how you cut it, balls. 1.00

01:12:21.860 You do say that was big dick energy. 1.00

01:12:24.160 Yeah. 0.98

01:12:24.600 But that's more recent.

01:12:25.780 That's more recent because the culture has changed. 0.94

01:12:30.860 The culture has changed because the gay agenda. 1.00

01:12:34.440 The value is subjective, and so now it's dick, 1.00

01:12:36.960 whereas before it was balls. 0.99

01:12:38.520 Yeah. 1.00

01:12:39.720 It's just like tits and ass. 1.00

01:12:41.220 It was tits, and now it's ass. 1.00

01:12:43.340 Yeah, we got to return to tits and balls, man. 1.00

01:12:45.980 We were worried about fertility, so balls was the shit. 1.00

01:12:48.720 Balls? 1.00

01:12:48.820 And now we're just worried about fucking. 1.00

01:12:50.600 Endless fucking, so it's all about dick. 1.00

01:12:52.380 Wow. 1.00

01:12:52.720 Go back.

01:12:54.020 Go back. 1.00

01:12:54.880 And the gay agenda. 1.00

01:12:55.580 Balls are where it's at. 0.99

01:12:56.320 Yeah.

01:12:57.200 Yeah.

01:12:58.300 Return to tradition, ladies. 0.94

01:13:01.280 So all goes back to that. 1.00

01:13:02.540 Return to man with huge testicles. 0.99

01:13:03.660 So it does go back to that David is half a man. 1.00

01:13:05.880 Return to dictation.

01:13:07.380 Unfortunately.

01:13:08.380 And he's the winner of Cocktober.

01:13:10.740 And that's why.

01:13:12.000 Next mailbag.

01:13:12.820 Come on. 1.00

01:13:13.480 But the cock doesn't matter as much as the balls. 1.00

01:13:15.660 Moving the Overton windows of dick and balls. 1.00

01:13:17.840 Yeah, that's right. 1.00

01:13:18.720 AJ, how do you explain to someone she said a playful no without sounding like a rapist? 0.99

01:13:24.980 Can we ask Alex Pereira?

01:13:27.500 Wait, wait. 0.99

01:13:28.860 So he's saying that he was trying to fuck and she was like, no. 0.99

01:13:34.400 This is a question for himself. 1.00

01:13:35.940 It sounded like they were basically about to and then he put it in her ass is what I got 0.99

01:13:40.860 from the video. 0.99

01:13:42.000 Who are you explaining to?

01:13:43.840 A playful no is a yes.

01:13:45.700 Come on.

01:13:47.000 No, no, no.

01:13:47.340 Here's a question.

01:13:47.840 How do you explain to someone, the judge, who are you explaining it to?

01:13:51.940 Your alter ego, your mother. 0.97

01:13:53.420 Is he going to court?

01:13:54.900 Wait, wait, wait.

01:13:55.420 Wait, so is this about Pereira?

01:13:57.880 No, I think he's asking this for legal advice.

01:13:59.260 I think this is about himself.

01:14:00.620 No, it's like that situation.

01:14:01.780 You've had it with your lady and she'll be like, no, no. 0.96

01:14:05.480 But you know, she's like, hold on, Tyler.

01:14:08.300 You're like, no.

01:14:09.040 She's about to be honest.

01:14:10.440 I have an idea how to answer this question and we'll move on to the next one.

01:14:13.900 Josie is a banger. 1.00

01:14:15.140 Her mouth said no, but her face said anal. 1.00

01:14:18.760 Roses are red, vials are blue. 1.00

01:14:20.380 Bite the pill.

01:14:20.940 I'm going in dry. 0.99

01:14:24.120 Give him some legal advice, Tyler, and then we'll fucking move on to the next question. 0.95

01:14:27.780 What should he do? 0.96

01:14:29.160 Yeah. 1.00

01:14:29.360 I think if she playfully says no, you probably shouldn't fuck her. 1.00

01:14:35.240 Use a pillow. 1.00

01:14:38.040 Wait, wait, wait.

01:14:40.220 Then it becomes a blood pillow. 1.00

01:14:41.540 You've never fucked. 0.99

01:14:42.640 Like, you hear no and then immediately you're like, all right, I'm done. 0.99

01:14:45.140 And then you just walk out. 1.00

01:14:46.360 Unless they go like, I was kidding, I definitely want to fuck. 1.00

01:14:49.320 Wait, they need to verbalize it? 1.00

01:14:51.100 Like, if they say the word no, I'm probably not going to do it.

01:14:53.940 You've got to read her body language, man.

01:14:55.620 That's kind of sad.

01:14:57.200 He's never had a relationship like that to where he could just be like, they said no, but they mean yes. 0.97

01:15:02.440 That's big dick no ball energy right there. 0.99

01:15:04.600 Yeah. 0.99

01:15:04.900 All right? 0.99

01:15:06.020 That's double dick no ball energy. 1.00

01:15:09.240 Wouldn't it be crazy if Toad got like me too'd the first time he had sex? 1.00

01:15:14.400 Like he had sex with a girl. 0.99

01:15:15.780 That's not crazy. 0.99

01:15:16.500 That will happen.

01:15:17.460 By the way, anyone saying no means no.

01:15:19.520 And she won't be lying.

01:15:20.420 You just tell me I haven't been in a long-term relationship.

01:15:21.840 That's all you're telling me.

01:15:24.700 No means keep asking her and try again in 30 minutes.

01:15:28.540 No means persist.

01:15:29.580 Multiple times?

01:15:30.380 I guess.

01:15:31.000 I don't know.

01:15:31.240 That's weird.

01:15:31.740 You've never had where they'd be like, they're just like, you know, they want it.

01:15:35.900 And like, I mean, you don't like just then be like, just like, no, I'm not.

01:15:39.100 I'm tired.

01:15:40.260 And you're like, let me just like, just like, and they just keep going.

01:15:44.300 And they do little butt things. 1.00

01:15:45.680 You know, they're like, oh, they're just, they really want it.

01:15:47.560 She's just playing coy, man. 0.99

01:15:48.320 She's just saying no, so she doesn't feel like a slut. 1.00

01:15:51.160 Yeah. 0.97

01:15:51.860 Basically, actually, he's kind of right.

01:15:54.440 Who's this?

01:15:55.000 We have another female viewer? 0.99

01:15:56.300 This is rapeable as a cave. 0.94

01:15:57.260 We have way too many female viewers. 1.00

01:15:59.160 I think.

01:16:00.280 I like how all the female viewers have real pictures of themselves and all the dudes are 0.98

01:16:03.980 just like, they don't give a fuck. 0.99

01:16:05.340 Retard. 1.00

01:16:06.120 Bah. 1.00

01:16:07.220 It reminds me of their fucking, uh, Naeocon removal tweet. 1.00

01:16:09.860 Stop. 1.00

01:16:09.920 He was talking about like, OPSEC with his wife.

01:16:13.180 He's like, he's like, I have a burner phone.

01:16:14.860 So like, to, for the tweets that I like.

01:16:16.620 And my wife is just like posting on Facebook. 1.00

01:16:18.640 Dude.

01:16:18.900 Neil.

01:16:19.140 Come over here.

01:16:21.540 You muted yourself.

01:16:22.860 You muted.

01:16:23.320 He got so excited. 1.00

01:16:24.180 He pulled the cord out of his fucking microphone. 0.99

01:16:26.360 I feel like in this, in this climate, it's really not a good idea to proceed, even if 0.99

01:16:31.980 she says playfully no.

01:16:33.040 I think you should probably just.

01:16:34.380 Yeah.

01:16:34.520 Well, that's because.

01:16:36.460 Go away.

01:16:37.520 Go away.

01:16:38.320 Reconnect to your mic.

01:16:39.720 I did.

01:16:40.600 On stream.

01:16:41.280 It's not working.

01:16:42.280 It's incredibly jarring.

01:16:43.400 On stream.

01:16:43.600 Oh, I'm going to go through and never mind.

01:16:45.020 Oh, that's why.

01:16:45.580 It's not going to be the right input. 1.00

01:16:46.720 Shut up. 0.99

01:16:47.560 Rookie. 1.00

01:16:48.580 Shut up until it's fixed. 1.00

01:16:50.260 There you go. 1.00

01:16:50.800 Jesus Christ.

01:16:51.120 That's better.

01:16:52.040 There you go.

01:16:53.060 What I was saying, because Top brought up the Naeocon removal tweet, because that came

01:16:56.260 up because I was said, oh, I bought a house this week.

01:16:59.520 And so my wife in one of our chats sent the picture.

01:17:03.220 So excited, guys.

01:17:04.180 I can't even think of you.

01:17:05.320 Sent the picture of not just like, oh, like I was at the house and I took a picture of

01:17:09.940 it. 0.91

01:17:10.280 Sent the picture from the fucking listing online, the first picture, and then sent it to the 0.99

01:17:14.720 chat. 0.96

01:17:15.240 And everybody was like, you know, we just reverse image search this and find out exactly where

01:17:18.820 you're going to live. 1.00

01:17:19.440 And I was like, you dumb bitch. 1.00

01:17:21.900 Like, why? 1.00

01:17:23.280 Shady people.

01:17:24.240 I was like, what are you doing?

01:17:27.200 You really? 0.98

01:17:27.900 I was like, OPSEC, nigga, really? 1.00

01:17:30.200 I was like, here's a good example.

01:17:32.200 I dated this girl very briefly and like a long time ago. 0.76

01:17:36.060 And she had a rape fantasy. 0.91

01:17:40.500 And one time we were having sex and she said no. 0.99

01:17:42.720 And I was like, it's over.

01:17:44.800 Like, we're done.

01:17:45.440 We're not having sex now.

01:17:46.460 And she was like, no, no, no.

01:17:47.600 But I want to.

01:17:48.240 Like, I just want to say no.

01:17:49.240 And I was like, we can't do that.

01:17:50.940 Not going to do that.

01:17:51.880 That's weird. 0.96

01:17:52.740 But she was crazy. 0.98

01:17:53.960 She was genuinely crazy. 0.98

01:17:54.740 She was like, trying to me to you. 1.00

01:17:55.840 Oh, it's a rape fantasy. 0.61

01:17:57.000 It was by far the smartest decision of my life.

01:17:58.460 Where was she on the scale?

01:17:59.640 And we're done.

01:18:00.380 Yeah, but that's like not what me, Cole, not hot enough to be that level of crazy.

01:18:04.120 I'll say that.

01:18:04.420 Yeah, that's not like what me, Cole, and Topper are talking about.

01:18:06.820 Like, I don't know.

01:18:07.400 Maybe it's a married thing, but it's like, we've definitely had those, like, where they're

01:18:10.740 like, oh.

01:18:11.240 Yeah, but that's just because your wives are genuinely not wanting to have sex with you and you just 1.00

01:18:14.500 keep asking. 0.97

01:18:15.380 Yeah.

01:18:16.000 Yeah.

01:18:16.280 Yes, exactly. 1.00

01:18:20.320 I can still have sex with people that don't want to have sex with you. 0.99

01:18:24.200 You take it where you can get it, bud. 0.99

01:18:26.020 And then they'll get into the sex about, like, five minutes in.

01:18:29.720 They'll be like, they'll start like, okay, now they're enjoying it.

01:18:32.200 And they'll go, this was a good idea.

01:18:33.660 And afterwards, they always go like, that was kind of fun.

01:18:37.160 That was like, I'm glad we did that.

01:18:38.440 And I'm just like, yeah, exactly.

01:18:39.860 Yeah, it's fun, right?

01:18:40.740 This whole having to sell yourself to your partner is so unappealing to me.

01:18:47.080 It's unbelievable.

01:18:49.960 It's not even entirely like that, though.

01:18:51.620 There will be, like, where they're no, but you're like, that's a no.

01:18:54.380 And, like, no. 0.98

01:18:55.500 Like, they're like, like, they want you to, like, kind of fucking be like that. 1.00

01:18:58.240 Even when you say it like that, my dick gets smaller. 1.00

01:19:01.120 I don't know. 0.99

01:19:03.160 I love that Clint will never be married just for the uncoziness of marriage.

01:19:08.560 It's just like, the way you describe it makes marriage sound horrific.

01:19:14.260 The way we describe it is.

01:19:15.300 I think chicks sometimes like you to try. 1.00

01:19:16.740 And, like, they, so they want to make it feel like there's a, there's, like, a pushback.

01:19:20.440 You know what I mean?

01:19:20.880 It makes Leonardo DiCaprio look like a genius, what we're saying. 1.00

01:19:23.540 I think this guy might actually rape his wife. 1.00

01:19:26.100 My wife won't have sex with me right now. 1.00

01:19:27.560 Two weeks. 0.98

01:19:28.100 I'm just going cold. 1.00

01:19:29.080 Don't give a fuck. 1.00

01:19:29.800 Fuck you, bride. 1.00

01:19:30.500 And her chief. 1.00

01:19:31.360 I don't know what this is.

01:19:32.480 I don't know what this is.

01:19:33.440 Tyler Cactus, free tickets to rape the Palooza. 0.97

01:19:35.700 They are incriminating themselves on the chat.

01:19:38.560 You know, I love that idea that we just give out tickets to rape a Palooza for, like, 1.00

01:19:44.440 the most fucked up response. 1.00

01:19:46.080 Like, abusive towards their spouse. 1.00

01:19:50.600 That's the guy I want to hang out with.

01:19:52.400 All right, all right.

01:19:52.840 What's the next? 0.94

01:19:54.220 Oh, yo, we're retarded. 0.92

01:19:55.240 You just challenged a man to a fight. 0.98

01:19:57.080 Dude, we should win.

01:19:58.260 A man she can very well beat. 1.00

01:20:00.380 Dude, at Rape a Palooza, we can give out an award for that type of shit and call it the rapey? 1.00

01:20:04.480 Man, I don't like it. 1.00

01:20:07.360 Swing and a miss.

01:20:08.020 Such a great job.

01:20:09.020 You answered every question.

01:20:11.040 You knew all the best. 1.00

01:20:15.920 Fuck, man. 1.00

01:20:17.080 That's abuse. 1.00

01:20:18.340 That one hurts, man.

01:20:21.160 That's worse than what that chick plans to do to you in the ring. 1.00

01:20:25.060 I'm just imagining her in a full mount.

01:20:26.920 Just doop, doop, doop.

01:20:28.000 I love the video that it's on for his face, too, where he's, like, dancing or something. 0.98

01:20:35.280 It's so fucking funny, man. 0.78

01:20:38.320 We need to go to... 0.98

01:20:40.200 Wait, we've got one more mailbag.

01:20:42.100 We'll do one more mailbag.

01:20:43.320 Tyler looks like he might have another video.

01:20:45.260 I don't know what it is as well.

01:20:47.100 We need content for the post show.

01:20:49.480 Yeah, we do need content for the post show. 0.99

01:20:51.740 Grug B, would you pay taxes if you got to kick a politician of your choice in the crotch every year? 0.95

01:20:57.000 This makes it seem like we don't pay taxes already. 0.97

01:20:59.980 Yeah, I mean, I try to pay as little as possible, but, like, I still do.

01:21:03.320 Would we pay extra?

01:21:04.280 Right.

01:21:04.800 I'm forced to pay that.

01:21:06.020 It comes out of my paycheck up front.

01:21:07.660 I can't...

01:21:08.220 I would pay extra if I did to kick a...

01:21:11.420 Not a lot, though.

01:21:13.280 It's of your choice.

01:21:14.780 Maybe, like, 50 bucks.

01:21:16.060 It's a decent benefit, I would say.

01:21:17.240 Mine would be a woman.

01:21:20.560 It's got to be a man, dude.

01:21:21.880 It's going to hurt more.

01:21:22.940 No, a woman. 0.98

01:21:24.140 Oh, dude, if I full-on reared into that,

01:21:26.200 I could, like, launch them.

01:21:27.600 Like, for real.

01:21:28.340 Yeah, you could lift them off the ground.

01:21:30.140 Oh, imagine, like... 1.00

01:21:31.620 Oh, you stick your foot, like, right in their pussy 1.00

01:21:33.820 and just lift them up. 1.00

01:21:35.000 Yeah.

01:21:35.600 Do you think you could get, like... 0.97

01:21:36.440 I'd pay an extra 10 grand just to fucking wind back 0.99

01:21:39.480 and fucking try and, like, 1.00

01:21:40.760 try and literally end Jerome Powell with a kick. 1.00

01:21:45.200 Yeah. 1.00

01:21:46.200 I think I could kill Hillary Clinton like that, for real. 1.00

01:21:49.660 Nah, I love Jerome Powell. 0.99

01:21:51.600 I want to go after Hillary. 0.84

01:21:52.240 You break a hip.

01:21:52.860 That takes me not at that age.

01:21:53.840 Hillary's not a threat anymore.

01:21:55.700 I love Jerome Powell right now.

01:21:56.760 They dropped, like, the...

01:21:57.820 Like, I was talking to the lender just on Friday.

01:22:01.500 It's about sending a message to Toad, but sorry.

01:22:03.060 And they were like,

01:22:04.180 by the way, if you got a loan last week

01:22:06.500 and got locked in,

01:22:07.120 it was going to be, like, at 7.125.

01:22:09.420 This week, it's, like, 6.125.

01:22:11.160 And I was like,

01:22:11.560 I saved, like, a whole point.

01:22:13.200 Like, it was, like, in a week.

01:22:14.480 I was like, hell yeah.

01:22:15.480 And it might be, like, 5 by next week

01:22:17.360 if I just...

01:22:18.640 Gotta love, you know,

01:22:20.880 people who call themselves libertarians.

01:22:23.780 They go, oh, the Fed reduced rates.

01:22:25.420 I love the Fed.

01:22:26.940 No, dude, it was...

01:22:27.780 This is, sorry,

01:22:28.660 this is a small, like, libertarian thing.

01:22:30.120 I was listening to a sports radio show.

01:22:31.660 It was Colin Cowherd.

01:22:32.840 And he said he was, like...

01:22:34.260 Because the market crashed 0.98

01:22:35.580 over the fucking, like, 0.99

01:22:36.800 last Friday to today. 1.00

01:22:38.420 Like, fucking... 1.00

01:22:38.960 Hadn't heard. 1.00

01:22:39.900 Oh, whatever.

01:22:40.740 But he was, like,

01:22:42.500 everybody's all freaking out.

01:22:44.540 He was, like, it's fine.

01:22:45.480 The Fed will just lower rates

01:22:47.160 and then we'll just, like...

01:22:48.080 And I'm, like,

01:22:49.140 that's how we got to the first place.

01:22:51.700 Like, it's the camp.

01:22:52.540 So you do have, like,

01:22:53.760 the philosophical backdrop

01:22:54.800 to go, 0.99

01:22:55.160 that's a fucked up perspective 0.99

01:22:56.200 and then you have 0.99

01:22:57.020 that fucked up perspective. 0.99

01:22:58.540 Well, he was saying 0.99

01:22:59.580 the economy's fine.

01:23:00.840 What are you going to do about it?

01:23:01.980 He was, like,

01:23:02.360 the economy's fine.

01:23:03.840 They'll, like,

01:23:04.540 they'll fake...

01:23:05.000 Like, everybody's freaking out

01:23:06.300 but it's not that bad.

01:23:07.540 And I was, like,

01:23:08.080 no, it's terrible.

01:23:08.920 Like, they drop rates.

01:23:10.340 It's just going to make it worse.

01:23:11.760 And I was, like,

01:23:12.340 but he's the person

01:23:13.320 that's not supposed to be able

01:23:14.400 to afford to buy a house

01:23:15.380 who's now able to afford

01:23:16.200 to buy a house 1.00

01:23:16.680 because of fucking Jerome Powell. 1.00

01:23:19.300 He's that statistic. 1.00

01:23:22.540 Please give me...

01:23:24.360 Just predatory loan me.

01:23:25.620 Please.

01:23:25.820 Yeah, I was going to say

01:23:26.480 he's got one of those

01:23:27.160 predatory loans.

01:23:27.720 Just pray on me.

01:23:28.980 You're the type of dude

01:23:29.800 that takes a HELOC 1.00

01:23:30.600 and then gets fucking evicted 0.99

01:23:31.620 in, like, 16 months. 0.99

01:23:33.200 Hell yeah.

01:23:33.580 Anyways.

01:23:35.340 That's 16 months of housing, baby.

01:23:37.440 That's...

01:23:37.760 16...

01:23:38.760 Way more of 16 months

01:23:40.920 of my life.

01:23:41.780 The economy's buying coal 1.00

01:23:42.800 bought a fucking house. 1.00

01:23:44.220 No, no, no. 1.00

01:23:45.160 Literally, that is a top-tick marker

01:23:47.000 is what they call,

01:23:48.140 like, it's a market signal.

01:23:50.260 When you have someone 1.00

01:23:50.980 as dumb as coal 1.00

01:23:51.700 that's buying a house, 1.00

01:23:52.480 you know the fucking market 1.00

01:23:53.200 is about to just tank. 1.00

01:23:55.220 So...

01:23:55.500 My credit score is 720. 1.00

01:23:57.440 All right, fuck you. 1.00

01:23:58.120 This is financial advice. 1.00

01:23:59.980 Get out of housing.

01:24:00.700 That's not bad.

01:24:01.120 That's shockingly good, actually.

01:24:02.560 Sell everything.

01:24:03.600 Sell everything right now.

01:24:04.480 Do you really think

01:24:05.820 that there's other people

01:24:06.580 just like coal

01:24:07.240 that are buying a house right now? 0.72

01:24:09.060 Yeah.

01:24:09.340 Of course.

01:24:10.340 There's millions of them.

01:24:11.200 That's scary.

01:24:12.400 Yeah, you get this, like, 0.99

01:24:13.520 ball of retarded people 1.00

01:24:15.640 buying homes. 0.99

01:24:19.140 What is it?

01:24:21.060 What is that?

01:24:22.620 The coal...

01:24:23.580 Wasn't there the stripper... 1.00

01:24:25.580 The coal index.

01:24:27.120 Wasn't there, like,

01:24:27.700 the stripper index

01:24:29.040 where, like,

01:24:29.520 the strippers would know 0.99

01:24:31.160 whenever there's gonna be

01:24:32.300 a market downturn

01:24:33.480 or recession

01:24:33.940 because, like, the...

01:24:35.400 Yeah.

01:24:35.640 This is what they did

01:24:36.120 with World War III

01:24:36.820 where, like,

01:24:37.360 the gay bars are down

01:24:38.440 and the pizza is up

01:24:39.480 so, therefore,

01:24:40.680 like, there's war happening.

01:24:42.180 This is one of those, like,

01:24:43.060 canary in the coal mines.

01:24:43.780 It's the exact same thing.

01:24:44.860 It's the coal mines, exactly.

01:24:46.080 It's the coal mines.

01:24:46.860 The canary in the coal mines. 1.00

01:24:49.800 You fucking banger. 1.00

01:24:55.140 You are all canaries 1.00

01:24:57.140 in his coal mine.

01:24:58.380 The bird looks into the mine

01:24:59.980 and coal's in there

01:25:00.900 and he goes...

01:25:01.300 And the bird's like, 0.88

01:25:03.380 I'm getting the fuck out of here. 0.93

01:25:04.960 Cool. 0.76

01:25:05.760 Clint on, like, Friday

01:25:07.280 was just like,

01:25:08.020 you know,

01:25:08.280 I know it's really bad right now

01:25:09.400 but I think if, like,

01:25:10.220 we can probably,

01:25:10.780 the economy can recover

01:25:11.860 and I was like,

01:25:12.760 I'd message that,

01:25:13.440 just bought a house

01:25:14.200 and Clint's like, 1.00

01:25:15.040 fuck, we're fucked. 1.00

01:25:17.040 Everything's fucked. 1.00

01:25:18.100 It was the exact same thing 1.00

01:25:19.140 when I read...

01:25:19.780 Literally, this is how

01:25:21.100 it happened chronologically.

01:25:22.260 I read Jim Cramer's tweet

01:25:23.460 going,

01:25:23.820 the market's oversold,

01:25:24.840 there's no reason

01:25:25.340 for all this panic.

01:25:26.260 Then I go into the DMs

01:25:27.200 and it's like,

01:25:27.640 Cole,

01:25:28.340 just put an offer in a house

01:25:29.640 and then an hour later

01:25:30.520 I'm like, 1.00

01:25:30.820 fuck, I don't know 1.00

01:25:31.340 what's going on. 1.00

01:25:31.820 This is pretty wild.

01:25:32.840 And then I see,

01:25:33.860 I just confirmed the offer

01:25:36.260 and I was like,

01:25:36.940 the market's over.

01:25:37.620 It's over. 1.00

01:25:38.180 Everything's fucked. 1.00

01:25:39.460 It's totally over. 0.99

01:25:40.940 I've thought about,

01:25:41.720 like, emptying my 401k

01:25:43.160 just being like,

01:25:44.140 this is only going to lose money.

01:25:46.080 My buddy John,

01:25:46.900 my buddy John

01:25:47.480 only buys houses

01:25:48.520 at the worst possible time.

01:25:49.880 So he bought in 07,

01:25:50.980 got foreclosed

01:25:51.680 and now he waited,

01:25:52.940 like, another 15 years

01:25:53.900 to get the bankruptcy

01:25:54.480 off of his record

01:25:55.380 or whatever.

01:25:55.980 And he's like,

01:25:56.340 I'm buying right now.

01:25:57.120 I was like,

01:25:57.700 yep, it's over.

01:25:58.660 The market's over.

01:25:59.620 It was so funny

01:26:00.100 because my parents

01:26:00.780 bought in 08.

01:26:01.940 So they bought,

01:26:02.560 like, right after

01:26:03.500 the market crashed.

01:26:04.920 And so they were like,

01:26:06.760 my dad was like,

01:26:07.520 I can't remember

01:26:07.800 what my,

01:26:08.260 like,

01:26:08.540 my percentage was.

01:26:09.700 And I was like,

01:26:09.980 dad,

01:26:10.160 it was probably like,

01:26:10.820 no,

01:26:11.120 retardedly, 1.00

01:26:12.060 like,

01:26:12.360 you got your house

01:26:13.540 so cheap.

01:26:14.160 adjustable rate.

01:26:14.860 You better not have

01:26:15.600 taken an adjustable rate.

01:26:17.500 I do not believe so.

01:26:18.960 You might have.

01:26:19.340 Oh my God,

01:26:19.940 he doesn't know.

01:26:20.900 No,

01:26:21.120 you should take an arm

01:26:21.900 at this point.

01:26:22.480 The markets,

01:26:23.180 I mean,

01:26:23.380 the rates are very high.

01:26:26.360 Yeah,

01:26:26.680 I know,

01:26:27.080 but how much higher?

01:26:28.280 It's the people,

01:26:29.320 dude,

01:26:29.540 I had to talk my dad

01:26:30.380 into getting a fix

01:26:31.200 when the rates

01:26:31.600 were three and a quarter.

01:26:32.740 He's like,

01:26:33.040 I'm just going to do

01:26:33.520 a five year arm.

01:26:34.240 I was like, 1.00

01:26:34.580 you're a fucking idiot. 1.00

01:26:35.720 You'll never get a rate 1.00

01:26:36.620 this low again.

01:26:37.340 Mine is exactly that.

01:26:38.660 Yeah.

01:26:38.880 Yeah,

01:26:39.100 like,

01:26:39.360 I mean,

01:26:39.640 if I start at six,

01:26:41.340 like,

01:26:41.660 yeah,

01:26:41.880 like,

01:26:42.140 I mean,

01:26:42.420 I mean,

01:26:42.780 I guess I can go up,

01:26:43.560 but I can't remember

01:26:44.300 exactly what I got.

01:26:45.100 I'm going to fix

01:26:45.340 three and a quarter,

01:26:46.160 baby.

01:26:47.220 How about you fix 1.00

01:26:47.960 some pussy 1.00

01:26:48.400 on your dick? 1.00

01:26:50.540 Wow. 1.00

01:26:50.740 Tell him about my mortgage.

01:26:52.700 This is my favorite thing.

01:26:54.220 I abuse Cole,

01:26:55.320 and then Cole abuses Toad

01:26:56.440 to make up for it.

01:26:57.960 Then you get to 0.70

01:26:58.720 transitively abuse me, 1.00

01:27:00.160 too. 0.98

01:27:00.660 It's trans abuse. 0.83

01:27:01.780 By the way,

01:27:02.140 I just want to let you know,

01:27:03.060 this is how it is

01:27:03.580 at all my friend groups.

01:27:05.000 Like,

01:27:05.100 there is like,

01:27:06.260 trickle down economics,

01:27:07.660 baby.

01:27:08.840 For the record,

01:27:09.960 I'm joking to a large extent,

01:27:12.200 but I'll just be honest.

01:27:13.460 Anytime I see

01:27:14.240 first-time homebuyers

01:27:15.140 that go like,

01:27:16.180 like,

01:27:16.660 like,

01:27:16.940 really,

01:27:17.240 the market is

01:27:17.860 obviously in a crazy bubble.

01:27:19.840 So when you told me

01:27:20.580 that you were buying,

01:27:21.520 I was like,

01:27:22.080 oh,

01:27:22.220 you're a first-time homebuyer

01:27:23.100 buying when you shouldn't.

01:27:23.980 Like,

01:27:24.100 this is what people do.

01:27:25.360 Wait,

01:27:25.580 before we end the show,

01:27:26.440 Cole,

01:27:26.660 because this is a Cole story,

01:27:27.700 when he was at my house,

01:27:30.580 you just need to tell the story

01:27:31.760 of where you were living before

01:27:33.140 because it was the,

01:27:34.300 you told us six times

01:27:35.960 and me and my wife

01:27:36.660 went upstairs

01:27:37.180 when we like,

01:27:37.600 before we went to sleep.

01:27:38.380 We're like, 0.98

01:27:38.580 so what the fuck does that mean? 0.98

01:27:40.120 It's like, 0.98

01:27:40.600 I still don't understand

01:27:41.920 your living situation

01:27:42.920 before.

01:27:43.920 Please tell us.

01:27:44.720 I don't understand it.

01:27:45.220 You were living in a trailer?

01:27:46.660 Yes,

01:27:46.940 I still am.

01:27:48.240 You live in a trailer now.

01:27:49.460 It is my great-grandfather's trailer

01:27:53.120 that he died

01:27:54.980 and so,

01:27:55.840 and then my grandma

01:27:56.960 took it over,

01:27:57.540 but there was like a,

01:27:58.360 there was like a legal battle

01:27:59.380 because it was in the will,

01:28:00.960 but she was trying to pay. 1.00

01:28:01.940 Is there,

01:28:02.260 is there anything more Alabama

01:28:03.520 than a legal battle

01:28:04.540 over a trailer?

01:28:05.360 Over a trailer?

01:28:08.040 You're spending tens of thousands

01:28:09.500 on legal battles

01:28:10.220 for a trailer

01:28:10.740 that's worth like five grand?

01:28:12.360 Crazy.

01:28:12.760 By the way, 0.98

01:28:13.760 the guy,

01:28:14.360 I had an offer

01:28:15.880 the other day,

01:28:17.260 so it's funny

01:28:18.120 because we had to put in

01:28:19.160 a new AC unit

01:28:19.840 when we got in here, 0.79

01:28:20.580 which sucked

01:28:21.460 because like,

01:28:22.600 they put like eight grand.

01:28:23.500 Because it cost more 1.00

01:28:23.880 than the fucking trailer? 0.99

01:28:25.080 And so we told, 0.99

01:28:25.680 like there was a guy

01:28:26.400 that wanted to buy it

01:28:27.340 so we were good

01:28:28.400 and so we offered him,

01:28:29.700 we said 10 grand

01:28:30.660 and he said,

01:28:31.140 oh,

01:28:31.320 that's really cheap

01:28:32.040 and he was like,

01:28:32.960 the people next to us, 1.00

01:28:34.000 the fucking crackhead, 1.00

01:28:35.060 he called them the crackheads 1.00

01:28:36.660 wanted 20 grand

01:28:38.020 for their trailer,

01:28:39.020 which is way worse than ours

01:28:40.100 and I was like, 0.99

01:28:40.680 god damn it, 0.98

01:28:41.400 I could have got like 20 grand 0.99

01:28:42.580 out of this thing

01:28:43.240 instead of only got 10.

01:28:44.660 So I was pissed,

01:28:45.480 but like,

01:28:45.840 that one,

01:28:46.580 but yeah,

01:28:47.120 it's just,

01:28:48.160 wait,

01:28:48.440 tell the rest of the story.

01:28:50.280 So your grandmother gets it,

01:28:53.200 but then you move in,

01:28:54.900 but then you can't leave.

01:28:56.920 Yeah,

01:28:57.420 oh my god.

01:28:58.220 So she was like,

01:28:59.620 Clint,

01:29:00.080 I want you to pay attention

01:29:00.940 to this part

01:29:01.300 because I'm trying

01:29:01.920 to understand you.

01:29:02.240 We were moving back

01:29:03.300 close to my parents

01:29:04.200 and because Elizabeth

01:29:05.480 was pregnant

01:29:06.000 and so we're like,

01:29:06.600 we need,

01:29:07.200 like,

01:29:07.560 if you have little kids,

01:29:10.180 if you have kids.

01:29:14.860 It shouldn't be complicated.

01:29:15.360 Why can't you just say it?

01:29:16.300 What's happening?

01:29:17.420 What?

01:29:18.280 Why is it so hard

01:29:19.080 to just explain?

01:29:20.280 Why is this going?

01:29:21.180 Well,

01:29:21.360 I'm saying if you have,

01:29:22.060 like,

01:29:22.280 I'm telling the whole story.

01:29:24.180 We don't need the whole story.

01:29:25.440 Just a bullet point.

01:29:26.260 No,

01:29:26.420 I'm saying why I moved up here

01:29:27.480 was because,

01:29:29.460 you know,

01:29:29.820 we had the kid

01:29:30.380 and we were like,

01:29:30.840 we don't want to pay

01:29:31.380 for child care 0.99

01:29:31.900 because it's fucking expensive 0.99

01:29:32.840 and then, 0.99

01:29:33.900 so they were like,

01:29:34.320 okay,

01:29:34.540 you can move up here

01:29:35.360 and instead of,

01:29:35.900 like,

01:29:36.100 paying rent

01:29:36.600 at,

01:29:36.760 like,

01:29:36.980 $1,500 a month

01:29:38.320 or whatever,

01:29:39.200 you can move into the trailer

01:29:40.680 that your great-grandfather

01:29:41.840 lived in

01:29:42.600 and then just pay grandma, 0.99

01:29:44.700 like,

01:29:45.040 you know,

01:29:45.500 a certain amount a month

01:29:46.400 just to pay off

01:29:47.280 because he,

01:29:48.760 he bought it in 96.

01:29:51.020 He never paid it off.

01:29:52.560 He paid the minimum on it 1.00

01:29:53.820 until he fucking died 1.00

01:29:55.300 two years ago 1.00

01:29:56.420 and it still had,

01:29:59.020 is it haunted

01:29:59.600 because he died in there?

01:30:00.680 I don't know.

01:30:01.020 He didn't die in it

01:30:01.760 but actually my great,

01:30:02.880 my great-grandfather

01:30:03.600 did die in it.

01:30:04.760 Even if he took

01:30:05.360 a 30-year mortgage out

01:30:06.880 on that trailer,

01:30:07.740 there's still only

01:30:08.280 two years left

01:30:09.080 on the mortgage.

01:30:10.080 There was $7,500

01:30:11.540 left on it.

01:30:12.940 Wow.

01:30:13.500 And like,

01:30:13.980 he was,

01:30:14.400 he was probably paying

01:30:15.080 like a,

01:30:15.320 how much did he buy it for?

01:30:16.520 $7,500.

01:30:16.840 I don't know how much

01:30:17.380 he bought it for

01:30:17.720 but he's probably paying

01:30:18.480 a hundred bucks a month

01:30:19.380 on it.

01:30:19.600 I bet he,

01:30:20.060 I bet he paid

01:30:20.600 60,

01:30:20.960 70 grand for it.

01:30:22.400 Yeah. 1.00

01:30:22.760 It was something stupid. 0.99

01:30:23.500 It was back in 96 0.99

01:30:24.220 and like,

01:30:24.840 he had not paid it off.

01:30:25.760 He took a 30-year mortgage

01:30:26.240 out on a $70,000 trailer

01:30:28.060 and it took him 26 years.

01:30:30.100 He died in that 1.00

01:30:30.840 motherfucker. 1.00

01:30:32.940 That's some real 1.00

01:30:33.800 Alabama shit. 1.00

01:30:34.960 And so, 1.00

01:30:35.700 that shit, 1.00

01:30:37.680 like, 1.00

01:30:38.080 as a finance guy, 1.00

01:30:38.980 that shit hurts me. 1.00

01:30:40.280 Like, 1.00

01:30:40.360 I just,

01:30:40.620 that story makes me 0.99

01:30:41.440 fucking feel pain. 0.99

01:30:42.660 It's Dixie, 1.00

01:30:43.560 actually.

01:30:44.680 And so,

01:30:45.140 and so,

01:30:45.660 and so we were like,

01:30:47.480 okay,

01:30:47.740 fine,

01:30:47.980 we'll like,

01:30:48.560 stay in it for like

01:30:49.380 a little bit

01:30:49.980 and then like,

01:30:50.720 we'll look for house

01:30:51.980 in the meantime

01:30:52.760 just to move into.

01:30:55.020 Well,

01:30:55.220 then we got in here

01:30:55.820 and that's when we found out

01:30:56.640 they never told us

01:30:57.580 the AC was broken.

01:30:58.960 So like,

01:30:59.520 the AC didn't work

01:31:00.180 and then in the winter

01:31:01.000 it like,

01:31:01.940 the heat was only through

01:31:03.360 like the heat strips.

01:31:05.080 Like the,

01:31:05.400 and so it's like,

01:31:06.280 it's during the,

01:31:07.040 like,

01:31:08.220 basically it's going to be

01:31:09.100 like $500 a month 0.99

01:31:10.240 to heat the fucking 1.00

01:31:11.080 house in the winter 1.00

01:31:12.660 because it's like,

01:31:14.000 the,

01:31:14.360 it's basically

01:31:15.120 whenever you're,

01:31:16.460 what happened here

01:31:17.120 after this?

01:31:17.880 So it didn't work.

01:31:18.620 So then what happens?

01:31:19.980 They replaced the AC

01:31:21.260 and then like,

01:31:23.080 like my grandma

01:31:23.880 pays for it

01:31:24.500 but then she was like,

01:31:24.960 you have to pay me back

01:31:25.620 and pay me for her

01:31:26.640 and then she also goes ahead

01:31:28.240 and,

01:31:29.280 uh,

01:31:30.740 she pays, 0.99

01:31:31.760 she pays the loan company 0.54

01:31:33.760 so she buys off,

01:31:34.800 she sends in a check

01:31:36.040 and apparently it's supposed

01:31:36.880 to be a bank check

01:31:37.540 and apparently they gave it to her

01:31:39.520 but she never got the title 0.99

01:31:40.720 for the fucking trailer. 0.99

01:31:42.360 So she paid it off 1.00

01:31:43.300 but we have no title

01:31:44.600 which we found out is fine

01:31:45.920 because if it's before 1996

01:31:47.760 you don't need a title apparently.

01:31:49.840 I didn't know that

01:31:50.680 but like the guy was like,

01:31:52.080 whatever,

01:31:52.980 we sold it for 10 grand

01:31:53.820 but we were stuck in here

01:31:55.120 until like,

01:31:55.920 it was,

01:31:56.280 it was really,

01:31:56.840 yeah,

01:31:57.040 Mike,

01:31:57.700 don't,

01:31:58.380 don't get into business

01:31:59.820 with family. 1.00

01:32:00.760 It fucking sucks. 1.00

01:32:01.500 That's messed by his grandma. 1.00

01:32:02.760 His grandma made like renovations 1.00

01:32:04.880 on this shit 1.00

01:32:05.320 and then said, 1.00

01:32:05.900 you pay me later

01:32:06.940 and didn't,

01:32:08.700 and then he's like,

01:32:09.440 well,

01:32:09.640 I said,

01:32:10.120 well,

01:32:10.240 Cole,

01:32:10.460 why don't you just move

01:32:11.200 when he was at my house

01:32:11.900 and he was like,

01:32:12.340 I really don't like where I live

01:32:13.240 so I said,

01:32:13.540 why don't you just move?

01:32:14.040 He's like,

01:32:14.240 well,

01:32:14.520 and then he explained the story to me

01:32:15.720 and I was like,

01:32:16.100 I still don't understand

01:32:17.060 why you can't move.

01:32:18.600 Like, 0.99

01:32:18.780 what the fuck? 1.00

01:32:19.420 You're stuck there? 1.00

01:32:20.440 It's not,

01:32:20.920 there's nothing,

01:32:21.360 there's nothing legally in writing

01:32:22.960 that I have to pay for this.

01:32:23.920 It's more like a family thing

01:32:25.200 of like,

01:32:25.700 you got,

01:32:26.140 you got into business with family

01:32:28.240 and now if you don't pay them back, 1.00

01:32:30.140 you're just the fucking dickhead 1.00

01:32:31.880 in the family 1.00

01:32:32.420 that didn't pay grandma 0.77

01:32:33.420 because she,

01:32:33.920 This is one of those rare moments.

01:32:34.560 Normally Cole starts a story

01:32:35.900 and I have no idea where it's going

01:32:37.100 and it ends with glory

01:32:38.080 and just gems. 1.00

01:32:39.220 It's boring as fuck. 0.99

01:32:39.740 This wasn't it. 0.99

01:32:40.520 This wasn't it.

01:32:40.760 It does end in glory

01:32:41.940 because the guy,

01:32:43.460 You bought a house

01:32:43.480 and you top ticked the market

01:32:44.480 and the coal is in the canary mine.

01:32:48.140 All right,

01:32:48.680 guys,

01:32:49.100 no dough.

01:32:50.980 Oh yeah,

01:32:51.460 I forgot about those guys.

01:32:52.500 Yeah,

01:32:52.680 for all those who lost your, 1.00

01:32:53.920 all your fucking retirement. 1.00

01:32:54.400 Wait, 1.00

01:32:54.820 Clint, 1.00

01:32:54.980 are you saying I'm fucked? 1.00

01:32:56.220 Are you saying 1.00

01:32:56.480 we just bought a house 1.00

01:32:57.260 and I'm fucked? 0.99

01:32:58.040 Here's the reason, 0.99

01:32:58.780 here's the reason

01:32:59.320 I didn't give you

01:33:00.020 any harsh feedback on it

01:33:01.520 when you said it

01:33:02.160 because I didn't want to like,

01:33:03.360 please take that down

01:33:04.140 for a second.

01:33:06.600 He's giving him

01:33:07.440 financial advice.

01:33:08.980 Why didn't you?

01:33:10.080 Here's,

01:33:10.520 this is the honest to God reason

01:33:11.520 why I didn't give you

01:33:12.100 a hard time.

01:33:13.280 You're buying a house

01:33:14.140 for a quarter million dollars. 1.00

01:33:15.580 Who gives a fuck? 0.99

01:33:17.000 All right, 0.99

01:33:17.280 now we can run the ad.

01:33:18.460 Yeah.

01:33:18.960 That's true.

01:33:19.480 It's a small,

01:33:20.160 it's a small purchase.

01:33:21.240 For all those people

01:33:21.300 that want to off themselves

01:33:22.320 after losing their retirement,

01:33:23.740 Nadeau Shave Co.

01:33:24.520 For whenever you're

01:33:27.800 out of machetes

01:33:28.420 and you've got to go

01:33:28.980 to a machete fight

01:33:29.740 and you're like,

01:33:30.440 need something,

01:33:31.600 Nadeau Shave Co.

01:33:33.140 Yeah,

01:33:33.600 keep it in your offhand,

01:33:34.560 they won't even notice.

01:33:35.340 If you're taking a real haircut

01:33:38.980 on the price of your house.

01:33:40.200 Don't use your wrist

01:33:41.720 when you're in a machete fight.

01:33:43.040 Use a Nadeau Shave Co.

01:33:44.760 I blame my wife. 0.82

01:33:47.200 I'll say,

01:33:47.760 this is the story

01:33:48.680 of how I bought this house.

01:33:50.140 Elizabeth sent me a listing.

01:33:51.360 We're doing an ad read, sir?

01:33:51.960 We're doing an ad read? 1.00

01:33:52.240 I don't give a fuck. 0.99

01:33:52.720 We did the ad read. 0.99

01:33:54.240 NadeauShaveClub.com,

01:33:55.620 quote,

01:33:56.340 Roman Code Tower Gang.

01:33:58.240 Yeah.

01:33:58.740 Whatever.

01:34:00.220 Solid engineering

01:34:01.160 on those Nadeau razors.

01:34:02.420 Go buy some.

01:34:03.400 They're good.

01:34:03.680 Friday.

01:34:03.860 It's good stuff.

01:34:04.700 This past Friday,

01:34:06.080 she sends me a listing

01:34:06.980 and said,

01:34:07.340 we should go look at this

01:34:08.100 because we've been looking

01:34:08.920 at random houses.

01:34:09.880 Should we go look at this?

01:34:10.440 We go to it.

01:34:11.740 That same day,

01:34:12.900 she goes,

01:34:13.300 I love it.

01:34:13.940 It's great.

01:34:14.520 It really is great.

01:34:15.160 It's right around the corner

01:34:15.780 from my parents.

01:34:16.780 Saturday,

01:34:17.220 she starts looking

01:34:17.740 into pre-approval for loans.

01:34:19.320 We get pre-approved

01:34:20.080 and then the agent was like,

01:34:22.400 you want to put in an offer?

01:34:23.580 She was like,

01:34:24.320 yes,

01:34:24.520 let's put an offer.

01:34:24.960 This is the home I want.

01:34:26.240 I was like,

01:34:26.700 all right.

01:34:27.360 We put an offer.

01:34:28.200 Sunday,

01:34:28.520 it gets accepted.

01:34:29.540 Within three days.

01:34:31.260 If they didn't counter,

01:34:31.860 you offered too much.

01:34:32.740 Go ahead.

01:34:33.320 Yes,

01:34:33.520 I know.

01:34:33.900 I understand that.

01:34:35.340 We also did get them

01:34:38.040 to pay for all the closing costs.

01:34:42.080 I was afraid

01:34:42.580 because they had listings

01:34:43.620 the whole weekend.

01:34:45.400 The house was on the market

01:34:46.800 for like a week of total.

01:34:49.640 I was expecting more offers

01:34:51.520 by them.

01:34:52.280 How far above listing

01:34:53.700 did you go?

01:34:54.640 Actually,

01:34:55.800 we put it right at listing

01:34:56.900 and then the appraised cost

01:34:58.220 was higher.

01:34:59.520 It was appraised higher

01:35:00.500 than what we offered.

01:35:01.300 That's not too bad.

01:35:03.480 I felt good.

01:35:05.580 Just so you know,

01:35:06.620 the reason that your offer

01:35:07.580 was accepted

01:35:08.160 is because there's

01:35:10.220 a lot less buyers

01:35:11.320 than there once was.

01:35:12.660 So the sellers

01:35:13.380 are much more motivated.

01:35:14.240 So that's the reason

01:35:14.660 they would have accepted,

01:35:15.360 which was why

01:35:15.800 you should have offered less.

01:35:16.720 But you also shouldn't

01:35:17.360 be buying now

01:35:17.920 because it's obviously

01:35:18.680 the top of the market.

01:35:19.540 You should have low-dicked them. 0.90

01:35:22.820 All right, guys.

01:35:23.740 Let's go.

01:35:23.920 This is the honest to God's truth.

01:35:26.140 What's the worst

01:35:26.880 that could happen?

01:35:27.960 It's a quarter million bucks.

01:35:29.620 That's literally

01:35:30.220 like 10 years from now,

01:35:31.460 a quarter million dollars 0.99

01:35:32.060 is going to be fucking confetti. 0.99

01:35:34.320 It doesn't matter. 0.99

01:35:35.040 It's like the inflation

01:35:35.940 is going to outgrow.

01:35:37.640 That's my honest opinion.

01:35:38.880 I can tell you,

01:35:39.500 this is not true,

01:35:40.920 by the way.

01:35:41.340 A quarter million dollars 0.99

01:35:42.000 will be a fucking 0.99

01:35:42.580 like a basic car. 0.99

01:35:45.140 By the way,

01:35:45.680 that guy had it right. 1.00

01:35:46.420 You get pussy 1.00

01:35:47.000 if you own a home. 1.00

01:35:47.580 That's all that was

01:35:48.200 going through Cole's mind.

01:35:49.020 I told Elizabeth,

01:35:51.220 I said,

01:35:51.780 do you think we're 0.94

01:35:53.260 going to have more sex 0.92

01:35:53.880 now that you have a house? 0.99

01:35:55.300 And I was like,

01:35:55.880 literally,

01:35:56.320 after that,

01:35:57.920 I was like,

01:35:58.700 I'm in.

01:35:59.780 You're so obviously abused.

01:36:00.960 It's unbelievable.

01:36:02.100 I'm just,

01:36:02.360 I'm just crazy.

01:36:04.260 A baby.

01:36:07.000 I'll make this bad

01:36:08.000 financial decision 0.99

01:36:08.700 for slightly some more sex. 0.99

01:36:10.040 Some George. 0.99

01:36:10.540 Incredible.

01:36:11.400 For the promise 0.97

01:36:12.260 of maybe more sex. 0.73

01:36:13.560 Or is that Oscar? 0.87

01:36:14.120 There was other things

01:36:14.980 involved of why

01:36:15.700 we needed a new house.

01:36:17.060 So we needed something.

01:36:18.080 I don't think

01:36:21.720 that we were challenging that.

01:36:23.140 Anyway,

01:36:23.520 thank you guys so much

01:36:24.560 for tuning in.

01:36:25.000 We're going to go

01:36:25.600 to the penthouse now.

01:36:26.400 If you would like to join us,

01:36:27.800 all you have to do

01:36:28.280 is sign up for the Patreon. 0.98

01:36:29.300 You can go to the fucking QR code. 0.98

01:36:30.780 I don't know if it works. 0.98

01:36:31.600 It might.

01:36:32.540 Take up your phone right now

01:36:34.300 and click the link

01:36:36.280 once you see that

01:36:37.000 and then meet us

01:36:37.720 in the coal zone.

01:36:39.460 Yeah.

01:36:39.680 That's right.

01:36:40.060 In the coal line.

01:36:41.080 Let's go.

01:36:41.840 We'll see you later. 0.98

01:36:42.540 It's the Tower Power Hour slut. 1.00

01:36:44.620 It's the Tower Power Hour bitch. 1.00

01:36:46.260 No way, Jose. 0.99

01:36:47.140 Liberty Lockdown. 1.00

01:36:49.880 Clint, bitch. 1.00

01:36:51.360 Reed. 1.00

01:36:54.000 Cole.

01:36:55.640 Top Lobster.

01:36:56.920 And Toad.

01:36:58.220 Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang.

01:37:00.780 Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang.

01:37:02.420 Liberty Lock is truth say.

01:37:04.320 Same with Lobster, Cole, and Jose. 0.97

01:37:06.840 Toad is sick.

01:37:07.740 No way, Jose. 1.00

01:37:08.840 It's the Tower Power Hour slut. 1.00

01:37:10.380 They made day spent all his... 0.99

01:37:11.960 Tower Gang, Tower King, Tower Gang, Tower Gang.

01:37:14.300 Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang.

01:37:17.120 They made day spent all his thing.

01:37:19.420 Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang. 0.97

01:37:26.860 It's so fucking hard 0.97

01:37:28.280 to line up for syllables and all that. 0.97

01:37:30.840 Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang,

01:37:31.940 Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang.

01:37:34.040 I mean, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, that's all, folks.

Tower Gang - August 08, 2024

Ep 189 - Machete Hand

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Summary

Transcript