Tower Gang - October 10, 2024


Ep 198 - Just the Tip


Episode Stats

Length

36 minutes

Words per Minute

183.95512

Word Count

6,678

Sentence Count

278

Misogynist Sentences

60

Hate Speech Sentences

84


Summary

Clint and Cole are joined by a new co-host, Martha Bueno, to talk about the future of the show and the death of the old crew. They also talk about what it's like being a black man in a white house.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 I won't find out until...
00:00:01.340 This shit is retarded.
00:00:02.080 This shit is retarded.
00:00:03.000 This is how we get Wednesday, motherfuckers.
00:00:06.220 You're retarded.
00:00:06.720 What's up, retards?
00:00:10.940 I want to listen to music from the hood.
00:00:12.800 I don't ever want to step foot in it.
00:00:14.580 Yes.
00:00:14.860 Right.
00:00:17.160 I've been reprying for another one,
00:00:19.120 and in the background of mine, I was like,
00:00:20.660 it would be me that gets retarded, baby.
00:00:22.620 But it would be so cruel.
00:00:23.720 And I'm like...
00:00:24.840 You and your down...
00:00:25.720 Nah, that's a good point.
00:00:30.820 He didn't fuck his mom.
00:00:32.260 He just had his dick in her.
00:00:37.140 Why are we talking about
00:00:38.260 on this show?
00:00:39.440 Whoa!
00:00:42.080 Oh, that's too far.
00:00:44.500 I'm asking you a question.
00:00:47.380 I'm asking you a question.
00:00:48.500 Start...
00:00:49.820 Whoa, with the feet.
00:00:51.040 Skip the pussy.
00:00:52.180 Skip it.
00:00:52.860 It's not what this show is about.
00:00:54.420 This shit is retarded.
00:00:55.720 Coming at you live
00:01:00.720 from the eye of the hurricane.
00:01:02.020 This is Tower Gang, bitches.
00:01:04.100 This is Clint Russell,
00:01:04.980 and Tap Laps to have such a low upload speed
00:01:07.440 that he's going to hear this intro
00:01:08.680 in about 30 to 45 seconds,
00:01:10.300 but it doesn't really matter
00:01:11.300 because we got Toad in the building,
00:01:12.880 and he's really the life of the show,
00:01:14.260 life of the party.
00:01:15.260 Better off dead.
00:01:16.040 We also got Cole,
00:01:17.060 who's also the life of the show,
00:01:18.880 and he's built like a midget,
00:01:20.320 but he's very, very jacked.
00:01:21.460 I'm Clint.
00:01:22.440 I'm nondescript.
00:01:23.820 Just a standard white guy.
00:01:25.760 That's it.
00:01:26.200 You're a former BPS co-host.
00:01:28.540 That's right.
00:01:29.180 Well, we'll see.
00:01:30.320 I'm still waiting to hear from Luke
00:01:32.060 if it's going to work out or not.
00:01:33.940 I'm actually the death of the show.
00:01:35.960 Yeah, dude, did you get fired?
00:01:36.980 Is that really what happened?
00:01:39.040 Did I get fired?
00:01:41.020 No, I don't think you can fire me
00:01:42.560 from a volunteer position.
00:01:44.140 I saw this post.
00:01:45.820 Luke jokingly suggests
00:01:46.860 he needs a new co-host,
00:01:47.960 and I kind of like them.
00:01:48.680 Clint brings Luke
00:01:49.800 to their very popular podcast,
00:01:51.780 which too bad.
00:01:53.240 I know he liked it,
00:01:54.080 but it's gone.
00:01:54.660 It's gone forever.
00:01:56.020 He's replaced by Martha Bueno.
00:01:59.340 Who do you think?
00:02:00.800 All right.
00:02:01.400 Do you think?
00:02:02.060 I lost to a cop
00:02:03.060 and a woman this year.
00:02:04.400 Dude, I want to see,
00:02:05.660 like, do you think,
00:02:06.440 or do you think he like goes
00:02:08.040 and he's like,
00:02:08.540 hey, I'm bringing on
00:02:09.440 Patrick Beck David.
00:02:10.420 He's going to be the co-host.
00:02:11.340 You're like, what the fuck?
00:02:13.020 I'd be thrilled for him.
00:02:15.020 Not going to happen,
00:02:15.820 but I'd be thrilled for him.
00:02:16.360 No, it'd be really funny
00:02:18.100 if it's just like,
00:02:18.940 yeah, I got Joe Rogan's coming in.
00:02:20.660 He's just going to co-host the show now,
00:02:21.820 and you're like,
00:02:22.280 what the hell?
00:02:23.460 Let me ask you something.
00:02:24.100 Let me ask you this.
00:02:25.200 So when I got fired from Odyssey,
00:02:28.140 part of me is like,
00:02:29.440 oh, that stinks.
00:02:30.380 Like, Odyssey went down.
00:02:31.820 I mean, I got fired,
00:02:32.820 but then part of me was like,
00:02:34.640 I hope they fail.
00:02:35.760 And then now I watch them fail,
00:02:37.260 and I'm like, ha.
00:02:38.560 Do you feel that same way about Luke?
00:02:39.920 Are you like, I hope he fails?
00:02:41.300 No.
00:02:41.640 Oh, my God.
00:02:42.080 I don't root for people's demise.
00:02:45.780 Just me.
00:02:47.040 Will you celebrate his demise?
00:02:49.500 No.
00:02:50.500 No.
00:02:51.440 I wouldn't.
00:02:52.420 Why did you fire my boy, Luke?
00:02:54.100 He's not even fired yet.
00:02:55.920 Now he is.
00:03:01.740 I don't feel like that's a winning mindset.
00:03:06.580 I really don't.
00:03:07.540 No, I don't feel that way.
00:03:08.660 I feel like Trump roots for the people
00:03:11.460 he doesn't like to demise.
00:03:12.640 And he wins a lot.
00:03:13.760 You should root for your enemy's demise, I think.
00:03:14.920 That's a fair point.
00:03:16.020 Fair counterpoint, Cole.
00:03:17.040 And maybe I have a loser's mentality
00:03:18.880 in that I don't root for people's demise.
00:03:21.920 They are the deal.
00:03:23.720 Chapter one,
00:03:24.680 root for your everybody's demise.
00:03:26.600 Chapter one, fuck.
00:03:27.700 Is that your replacement right here?
00:03:29.600 Oh.
00:03:30.280 Oh, who is this guy?
00:03:31.300 Who is that?
00:03:32.180 I got replaced by a fat Asian.
00:03:33.920 Fuck.
00:03:34.380 Is that an Asian lesbian?
00:03:37.260 Oh, my God.
00:03:37.960 What is happening?
00:03:38.960 This is devastating.
00:03:39.900 Anyways, all right.
00:03:40.440 So here's the deal.
00:03:41.220 Here's the deal.
00:03:42.360 Here's the deal, ladies and gentlemen,
00:03:43.760 in the audience.
00:03:45.360 Because Top's connection is shit
00:03:47.320 and Jose is dead.
00:03:49.560 Is in Langley.
00:03:50.640 He may be dead.
00:03:51.420 He may drown.
00:03:52.140 I think he's dead.
00:03:52.680 He's either dead or Langley pulled him back.
00:03:55.000 So here's the plan.
00:03:56.240 He stared into the hurricane
00:03:57.440 and was like,
00:03:58.100 I'm not going to even move here, man.
00:03:59.880 Fuck this hurricane.
00:04:01.120 And we'll see what happens to Jose.
00:04:02.520 That's not what happened.
00:04:03.580 I'm glad I let you talk
00:04:05.160 so you could get that gem out there.
00:04:06.680 Anyways.
00:04:07.040 What the fuck are you talking about?
00:04:10.360 So here's the plan.
00:04:12.360 We're basically just going to do
00:04:13.900 a little bit of BS with you guys
00:04:15.540 because we love you very much
00:04:16.660 and it's Wednesday.
00:04:17.720 But Top's connection is shit.
00:04:18.780 We can't do the show.
00:04:19.660 Not the full length.
00:04:20.760 So we got Owen Benjamin
00:04:21.880 scheduled for tomorrow night.
00:04:23.300 We're hoping that everybody's connections
00:04:24.600 and everything is good tomorrow.
00:04:26.340 We're going to do the Laney edit.
00:04:27.640 We're going to hang out for 10, 15 minutes.
00:04:29.680 That's it.
00:04:29.940 We're not going to make the same mistake
00:04:31.700 as we did last time
00:04:32.720 and play a Laney edit for Owen Benjamin
00:04:34.320 because that went just as well as
00:04:36.860 literally the worst thing that we could do
00:04:39.560 that we found out
00:04:40.740 for y'all tonight
00:04:42.300 so that tomorrow we don't have to do it.
00:04:44.420 Luke is watching.
00:04:45.040 We can't give you the full length
00:04:45.820 so we're giving you just the tip.
00:04:47.140 You think Luke is hate-watching you right now?
00:04:49.000 It's like that fucking tall dick bitch.
00:04:50.460 It's not even off the show yet.
00:04:52.660 I don't know.
00:04:53.360 But all I know is that
00:04:55.000 we had viewers of the show
00:04:57.580 that were messaging me
00:04:58.600 in the middle of it going like,
00:05:00.200 hey, he just said that he's looking
00:05:01.220 for a new co-host.
00:05:02.080 What the fuck's going on, man?
00:05:03.280 And I was like, oh, okay.
00:05:05.240 Well, then I guess my demands
00:05:07.720 are not going to be met.
00:05:08.840 Here we go.
00:05:10.340 Fuck you, nigger.
00:05:11.540 Get off my fucking stream.
00:05:17.040 That's how you time it.
00:05:18.900 That's why Luke seems to like me
00:05:21.420 because he's actually rooting
00:05:22.540 for Tower Gang's demise
00:05:23.960 and I'm the one that brings that to the show.
00:05:25.940 I think that's why, yeah.
00:05:27.880 Oh, man.
00:05:28.980 No, you know what?
00:05:29.640 Laney doesn't have an Owen safe edit
00:05:31.080 because nobody knew Owen was coming on.
00:05:33.240 We just decided this today.
00:05:35.120 It was a whole thing.
00:05:37.140 Watch some missiles blowing people up.
00:05:40.140 What was it with that one?
00:05:41.460 That one was like,
00:05:42.200 it was a bunch of...
00:05:43.340 It was the small across.
00:05:45.040 Okay, it was a small across one.
00:05:46.620 That's right.
00:05:47.000 Okay, yeah.
00:05:47.520 It was the eight-minute Laney edit
00:05:49.300 of blowing up tiny women.
00:05:51.240 And for some reason,
00:05:53.100 Owen didn't like it.
00:05:53.920 I don't know.
00:05:54.140 No, he didn't.
00:05:54.660 It was a very...
00:05:55.120 Why not?
00:05:56.340 They want to know if they need to watch.
00:05:58.420 You got to go watch
00:05:59.200 the first hundred episodes
00:06:00.580 of the best political show
00:06:01.680 to understand that.
00:06:02.640 And then also go back
00:06:03.720 and watch the first hundred episodes
00:06:04.920 of this
00:06:05.380 to understand when
00:06:06.760 Clint was fucking
00:06:08.160 his ex-girlfriend.
00:06:10.240 And then that created a whole...
00:06:12.240 It's a whole debacle.
00:06:13.900 It's a shenanigans.
00:06:15.200 I mean, shenanigans over the top.
00:06:16.840 I mean, we can go on forever,
00:06:18.280 but we really...
00:06:18.940 We have like ten more minutes
00:06:19.820 on this show.
00:06:20.520 So I think we should
00:06:21.260 optimize our time better
00:06:23.160 than talking about Luke's show.
00:06:25.420 No, we're just gonna...
00:06:26.540 We're here to promote
00:06:27.180 Ashton Birdie's OnlyFans.
00:06:30.700 Is she nude on that thing yet?
00:06:33.780 I don't know, Toad.
00:06:34.640 Is she?
00:06:35.240 I think you would know.
00:06:36.880 Toad, please don't pretend
00:06:38.300 as if you don't know.
00:06:39.820 Toad is absolutely just
00:06:42.860 trawling through
00:06:43.780 all the message boards,
00:06:45.180 all the forums.
00:06:46.060 She's just like looking
00:06:46.960 and trying to see
00:06:47.580 if anybody's leaked
00:06:48.440 all her nudes yet.
00:06:50.100 I am doing that, yeah.
00:06:51.320 You're right.
00:06:51.800 Who has nudes?
00:06:52.420 Who has nudes?
00:06:53.200 Who are we talking about?
00:06:54.940 Ashton.
00:06:56.820 I don't know if she does or not.
00:06:58.140 She doesn't yet.
00:06:59.980 Did you say Ashton?
00:07:01.120 I'm sorry.
00:07:01.560 You're cutting in and out.
00:07:02.660 What did you say?
00:07:02.720 Yes, Ashton.
00:07:03.560 Yes.
00:07:04.440 I actually did peruse.
00:07:07.140 I just looked at Instagram
00:07:08.480 and I'm like,
00:07:09.560 for sure she does.
00:07:10.300 100%.
00:07:10.660 It's actually very sad
00:07:11.880 what Clint did to her.
00:07:13.240 You'd be afraid of Clint.
00:07:14.160 You cannot put that on me.
00:07:17.880 You're a monster.
00:07:19.400 You cannot put that on me.
00:07:21.240 Whose room is she in?
00:07:22.220 She has like a life-size
00:07:23.260 Chucky doll
00:07:24.040 and she's dressed up
00:07:25.100 like Wednesday
00:07:25.960 from the Addams family
00:07:27.240 but like a slutty version.
00:07:28.620 I'm just like,
00:07:29.020 I don't understand.
00:07:29.940 And she clearly has this
00:07:31.040 autistic look on her face.
00:07:32.760 It's very strange.
00:07:33.660 She's gotten more...
00:07:35.060 Bro,
00:07:35.080 I saved her from herself
00:07:38.260 for a year.
00:07:38.880 You can't put
00:07:39.760 what's happening to her
00:07:41.260 now on me.
00:07:42.440 Clint,
00:07:42.680 you're Israel
00:07:43.340 and she's Palestine.
00:07:44.220 You fucked her up, bro.
00:07:46.660 You fucked her up.
00:07:48.200 And now she's acting out
00:07:49.360 against basically...
00:07:50.480 I don't know
00:07:50.720 what you're talking about.
00:07:51.340 She's got plenty of water.
00:07:53.520 You're going to have to
00:07:55.300 put her down.
00:07:57.520 It's your job.
00:07:58.380 It's literally your job
00:07:59.560 to find her
00:08:00.260 wherever she is
00:08:00.960 and put her out of her misery.
00:08:02.240 It's wrong what you're doing.
00:08:03.420 No!
00:08:03.960 It's wrong what you did.
00:08:04.880 No, it's true.
00:08:05.620 So my dog,
00:08:07.200 he's got cancer, right?
00:08:08.480 And we're looking at him.
00:08:09.980 Yeah, I know it's bad.
00:08:10.740 It's cancer of the heart
00:08:11.680 and we're trying to give him stuff.
00:08:12.880 I like how I say it about a dog
00:08:13.460 but not Ashton.
00:08:15.000 No, well, here's the thing.
00:08:15.960 She's got cancer
00:08:17.240 but it's a different type.
00:08:18.740 It's more of a social cancer.
00:08:20.540 But I'm looking at my dog
00:08:22.200 and when I look at him,
00:08:24.460 I'm like,
00:08:24.880 any minute,
00:08:25.500 this guy's heart could explode.
00:08:27.080 And I'm like,
00:08:27.600 it's my job
00:08:28.280 to be responsible
00:08:29.620 and not hold on
00:08:30.780 and put him down
00:08:31.720 when it's time.
00:08:32.980 And it's your job,
00:08:34.060 Corinne,
00:08:34.620 to find her.
00:08:35.860 And you have to euthanize her
00:08:38.280 before,
00:08:39.060 I mean,
00:08:39.360 things get,
00:08:39.840 it's getting out there.
00:08:41.240 There's only so much
00:08:42.280 Comic-Cons can take,
00:08:43.520 Clint.
00:08:43.940 And I think you need to
00:08:44.720 just man up.
00:08:46.300 I feel like
00:08:47.580 she should just
00:08:48.380 roam free at Comic-Cons
00:08:50.020 as she has been doing
00:08:51.480 and that's fine by me.
00:08:53.040 And I will wish her well.
00:08:54.920 This is what I do.
00:08:55.660 I don't,
00:08:55.940 I don't wish,
00:08:56.880 I don't put down X's.
00:08:58.740 I don't wish people ill.
00:09:00.540 Like,
00:09:00.820 this is all your energy.
00:09:01.900 That's not mine.
00:09:02.360 No, you're wishing
00:09:02.980 for her demise.
00:09:04.620 This is like,
00:09:05.040 I wish her well.
00:09:06.100 That's like,
00:09:06.600 I hope she dies.
00:09:08.160 That's exactly what Clint
00:09:09.000 is doing.
00:09:09.240 No!
00:09:10.120 That's genuinely
00:09:10.980 not how I feel.
00:09:12.080 I just care about the cause
00:09:13.080 and I care about the movement.
00:09:13.920 I just don't give a fuck
00:09:14.500 about these people.
00:09:15.360 I just like how you're
00:09:16.620 equating Clint's exes
00:09:17.420 to a bunch of animals.
00:09:19.660 Equating his exes
00:09:20.560 to like dogs,
00:09:21.580 horses,
00:09:22.160 whatever.
00:09:23.000 I think
00:09:24.080 we should actually
00:09:25.460 commend Clint
00:09:26.260 because
00:09:27.060 you want to be
00:09:28.960 on the pre-OnlyFans.
00:09:30.880 No, Josie,
00:09:31.740 we have business
00:09:32.480 to attend to.
00:09:33.120 I've been meaning
00:09:33.620 to talk about this
00:09:34.400 for a long time
00:09:35.160 and now we're doing it.
00:09:36.400 Also, rest in peace, David.
00:09:37.580 You want to be
00:09:38.520 on the pre-OnlyFans
00:09:41.000 stage of a woman?
00:09:43.300 Like,
00:09:43.500 you don't want to be
00:09:43.860 on the post stage of it.
00:09:45.340 So like,
00:09:46.480 Clint was literally
00:09:47.500 at the pre-stage.
00:09:48.980 Like,
00:09:49.100 he finished the pre-stage
00:09:50.620 and then now
00:09:52.080 anybody she dates
00:09:52.920 is on the post stage.
00:09:53.940 What about the during stage?
00:09:55.700 That's,
00:09:56.400 ooh.
00:09:57.400 During,
00:09:58.000 it's during
00:09:58.740 or post worst.
00:09:59.920 Post,
00:10:00.240 I guess post would be
00:10:01.200 way worse,
00:10:01.660 I feel like.
00:10:02.260 What if the during
00:10:02.880 happens while you're
00:10:03.760 with her?
00:10:05.120 Then you're a fucking loser.
00:10:07.020 Yeah, yeah.
00:10:07.500 Because,
00:10:08.400 is it worse
00:10:10.100 for during or post?
00:10:10.820 I would say post
00:10:11.620 because it's all out there
00:10:12.740 and then she's like,
00:10:14.160 oh,
00:10:14.300 I can't make money
00:10:14.940 off this anymore
00:10:15.580 and I have to,
00:10:17.540 oh, yeah,
00:10:18.000 see,
00:10:18.400 Clint was.
00:10:20.180 Is.
00:10:21.180 I would probably do it
00:10:22.280 if I could make money.
00:10:25.000 Do you do OnlyFans?
00:10:26.100 Is that what you're saying?
00:10:27.080 Yeah,
00:10:27.580 I'll do an OnlyFans.
00:10:29.180 You should.
00:10:30.380 Yeah.
00:10:31.180 Do you think you,
00:10:31.740 if you did,
00:10:32.620 you and the big tittied
00:10:34.780 gambling girl,
00:10:37.100 do you think you or her
00:10:38.380 would have more
00:10:39.140 doing gambling
00:10:39.820 on your OnlyFans?
00:10:43.100 What?
00:10:43.720 We're combining gambling
00:10:44.900 with sex?
00:10:46.060 What's happening?
00:10:46.980 That seems like you're,
00:10:48.560 literally,
00:10:49.060 that seems like your fantasy.
00:10:50.600 Literally,
00:10:51.100 whatever the question is,
00:10:52.680 the answer is
00:10:53.340 big titty gambling girl
00:10:54.420 makes more money.
00:10:55.040 Anyways,
00:10:57.460 can we run the Lainey edit?
00:10:58.500 Let's do this.
00:10:58.880 Yeah,
00:10:59.100 let's run it.
00:10:59.800 Let's do this.
00:11:00.320 These people don't deserve
00:11:01.060 much more.
00:11:02.580 A Lainey Hobbamok production.
00:11:05.580 Let's check it out.
00:11:12.800 Yo,
00:11:13.420 that's cool.
00:11:15.920 I like that.
00:11:16.640 I like that.
00:11:17.280 We should have
00:11:18.300 the worst guest,
00:11:19.960 like the most
00:11:20.460 uncomfortable person
00:11:21.460 that we could think of.
00:11:22.880 We already put him
00:11:23.680 on the show regularly.
00:11:25.040 I like that.
00:11:25.640 Oh,
00:11:26.000 jeez.
00:11:26.580 Oh,
00:11:27.160 jeez.
00:11:31.580 Yeah.
00:11:32.920 Yeah.
00:11:33.800 Yeah.
00:11:34.640 Yeah.
00:11:36.520 Hell,
00:11:37.020 motherfucking yeah.
00:11:38.960 Yeah.
00:11:39.920 Yeah.
00:11:40.780 Yeah.
00:11:41.700 Yeah.
00:11:44.220 Gotta need a
00:11:45.240 bake-a-boomin'
00:11:46.160 not the 87
00:11:47.260 Bewey
00:11:47.860 stepping missile.
00:11:49.500 Oh,
00:11:50.460 fuck!
00:11:50.680 People are gonna vote
00:11:51.120 for their own slavery.
00:11:52.080 I'd rather just put them
00:11:52.960 in slavery.
00:11:53.460 Bingo.
00:11:54.940 Oh ho ho ho ho ho!
00:11:58.160 God,
00:12:02.680 I'm just not gonna do it.
00:12:03.780 Josie sucks.
00:12:04.880 It's like,
00:12:05.160 I really don't.
00:12:05.560 Ha ha ha!
00:12:06.680 Ha ha ha!
00:12:06.920 Blowing money
00:12:07.740 like it's mucus
00:12:08.700 told my nigga
00:12:09.500 get it losin'.
00:12:10.480 Let's go shootin'
00:12:11.380 like it's clueless.
00:12:12.460 My nicks like
00:12:13.120 Iron Giant
00:12:13.840 need a pillar
00:12:14.660 for these wrecks.
00:12:16.020 You think Chase
00:12:16.600 likes him young?
00:12:17.280 For real?
00:12:17.600 Are you asking us to say if Chase Oliver
00:12:20.960 Is a pedophile
00:12:21.680 Who are you looking at when you jerk off
00:12:28.680 You fucking homo
00:12:29.620 I mean have you guys ever been to Tijuana
00:12:31.340 Who do you look at when you're jerking off
00:12:33.320 Murderers and rapists
00:12:36.180 Is that a child getting ripped apart
00:12:53.620 I do want you to go to that Jimmy John's
00:12:56.340 But I want you to shoot the place up
00:12:57.720 Every now and then I'll pull my balls out
00:13:02.960 And scratch them while I'm standing
00:13:04.480 Did you jerk off at the Holocaust Memorial
00:13:10.220 I bring the
00:13:12.840 I paid for nigger
00:13:19.440 I can't get her
00:13:20.360 That's an old one
00:13:30.820 That he really likes
00:13:32.580 He would like
00:13:33.580 He went out there
00:13:34.640 Great one
00:13:56.820 Another great one
00:13:58.240 I missed a minute of it
00:14:00.100 I just couldn't see it
00:14:01.380 But now I have to download it
00:14:02.880 And watch it myself
00:14:03.500 You missed a tremendously murderous
00:14:05.720 Laney edit
00:14:06.080 Dude it was like
00:14:06.760 Probably the most
00:14:07.520 I never
00:14:08.140 Yeah that was probably the most
00:14:09.320 At least straight up murders
00:14:11.260 Like a lot of the times
00:14:12.500 They've been going for
00:14:13.320 Doing a lot
00:14:13.920 Because most of the time
00:14:16.320 Most of the time
00:14:17.060 It's a lot of
00:14:17.800 Just like accidents
00:14:19.740 Like road accidents
00:14:21.380 Or something like that
00:14:21.960 This was intentional
00:14:22.000 This was straight up
00:14:23.460 Like
00:14:23.900 Go up to somebody
00:14:25.560 Shoot them in the head
00:14:26.780 Point blank
00:14:27.280 I counted at least
00:14:28.120 Four homicides
00:14:29.040 There were way more than that
00:14:30.760 I'm pretty sure
00:14:31.760 The guy
00:14:32.580 Walked up to a cop
00:14:34.240 Just blew his head off
00:14:35.580 Right there
00:14:36.280 Just
00:14:36.640 Now
00:14:37.420 But the worst one though
00:14:38.320 Was the accident
00:14:38.940 That was the guy
00:14:39.760 That fell in the train
00:14:41.080 And got run over
00:14:41.860 Which is
00:14:42.200 That wasn't the worst one
00:14:42.980 That was an Indian
00:14:44.040 So one guy
00:14:45.920 Got thrown off a train
00:14:46.980 And he hit another guy
00:14:49.000 Walking
00:14:49.400 And like
00:14:50.180 Both of them
00:14:50.660 Are now
00:14:51.240 Oh I saw
00:14:51.840 Yeah that one
00:14:52.320 I don't know
00:14:52.600 It looked like
00:14:53.300 Like a subway
00:14:54.040 I don't know
00:14:55.080 That one was difficult
00:14:56.000 To tell what happened there
00:14:57.080 It's crazy
00:14:59.440 I don't know
00:14:59.980 Where you even find
00:15:00.600 These videos
00:15:01.000 I think the train
00:15:01.640 Knocked a person
00:15:02.500 Into another person
00:15:03.500 Or something
00:15:03.900 I don't know
00:15:04.300 It happened too fast
00:15:05.320 My heart rate
00:15:06.840 Was out of control
00:15:07.480 We will do
00:15:08.040 So
00:15:08.460 For everybody
00:15:09.200 That's joining in late
00:15:10.260 We'll
00:15:10.780 We have Owen Benjamin
00:15:11.860 On tomorrow
00:15:12.440 Because
00:15:13.000 Topps
00:15:13.520 Internet's terrible
00:15:14.940 Jose's dead
00:15:15.600 Let's just
00:15:16.360 Do Mark Vestibule's
00:15:17.240 Mailbag
00:15:17.560 And we'll get out of here
00:15:18.140 You know what
00:15:18.500 That's true
00:15:19.020 What do we want to do
00:15:20.140 About the cocktobers
00:15:21.380 We have two more cocks
00:15:22.580 Well
00:15:23.020 Not
00:15:23.420 Not tomorrow
00:15:24.600 I just want you to
00:15:25.560 Look at the cocks
00:15:26.220 And just wait
00:15:27.200 I just want you to
00:15:27.980 Look at them
00:15:28.440 Should we do
00:15:29.000 You guys want to do
00:15:29.680 One today
00:15:30.180 No we need
00:15:32.320 We need
00:15:32.560 We need
00:15:32.900 I'm not going to
00:15:34.100 Do this without Jose
00:15:34.880 I'm not going to
00:15:35.900 Let Jose
00:15:36.300 Miss out on a cocktober
00:15:37.800 Well the next cock up
00:15:39.640 Is a very nice cock
00:15:41.640 So
00:15:42.080 It's a hog man
00:15:48.560 I'm telling you
00:15:51.780 As soon as I saw it
00:15:53.660 I was like
00:15:53.980 This guy's going to win
00:15:54.940 Tell us about the cock
00:15:57.660 Like before we
00:15:58.480 I mean do you want me to
00:16:04.320 Are we doing it right now
00:16:05.360 You want me to
00:16:05.680 No no no
00:16:06.300 We don't want to see it
00:16:07.000 But you just tell us
00:16:07.780 Tell us what you think
00:16:08.500 Because obviously you have
00:16:09.280 A skewed judgment of things
00:16:10.480 But I really want to hear it
00:16:11.420 Anyway
00:16:11.580 He's a white guy
00:16:12.940 And he's got like a
00:16:14.900 Slender muscular build
00:16:17.020 Like he's like svelte
00:16:18.240 So his picture is just
00:16:20.440 Straight on
00:16:21.360 Like almost like the same pose
00:16:22.560 That Raven gave us
00:16:23.440 It's just a straight on
00:16:24.480 This is me
00:16:25.720 I'm just standing here
00:16:26.560 Right in front of you
00:16:26.800 But his full like
00:16:28.180 Is it like neck down
00:16:29.060 Yeah you can't see his face in it
00:16:31.180 So it's like neck down
00:16:32.100 But he's shirtless
00:16:32.800 Is it hanging
00:16:34.000 Or is it banging
00:16:34.740 No it's hanging
00:16:35.880 But it hangs
00:16:37.420 So
00:16:38.180 Is it heavy
00:16:39.440 Is it heavy
00:16:40.100 Or is it like flaccid
00:16:42.000 Like
00:16:42.360 No it's flaccid
00:16:43.700 And it is
00:16:44.240 One of the longest cocks
00:16:46.100 That I've ever seen
00:16:46.920 And you can tell
00:16:49.260 So it has some weight
00:16:50.240 Behind it though
00:16:50.760 I mean
00:16:51.060 It looks
00:16:51.400 I think he's pretty tall
00:16:52.900 It's got some girth
00:16:53.860 Behind it
00:16:54.200 But it looks meaty
00:16:55.840 Like it looks like
00:16:56.580 It would like
00:16:57.140 Yeah the only thing
00:16:58.000 That's weird
00:16:58.400 Is like the head
00:16:59.280 Like it almost looks like
00:17:00.080 He's like partially circumcised
00:17:01.680 It's a little bit weird
00:17:02.500 But other than that
00:17:03.240 Oh that's odd
00:17:03.460 Partially circumcised
00:17:04.500 Did it look scrumptious
00:17:05.840 I don't know
00:17:05.860 It's just like
00:17:06.300 I think he was circumcised
00:17:07.760 But it's just like
00:17:08.300 The
00:17:08.520 It's like the foreskins
00:17:10.820 Coming back almost
00:17:11.760 It's like kind of
00:17:12.340 Rolling up there
00:17:13.040 A little bit you know
00:17:13.780 Almost like a turtleneck
00:17:15.540 If you were a girl
00:17:15.800 Would you put this inside
00:17:17.220 Of you
00:17:17.640 If you had a pussy
00:17:19.040 No
00:17:20.800 No man
00:17:25.120 Because it would hurt
00:17:25.940 I wouldn't be able to take it
00:17:27.220 That's what I've
00:17:28.080 Tyler deserves a raise
00:17:29.020 He's really fucking good
00:17:29.820 I've wondered about that
00:17:31.720 Like if
00:17:32.120 Like what
00:17:32.800 If you look at a cock
00:17:33.880 I guess if you do say
00:17:35.640 Like if I was a woman
00:17:36.740 I would fuck that
00:17:37.580 That is a gay thing to say
00:17:39.040 Yeah of course
00:17:40.080 That's very gay to say
00:17:41.380 This gentleman
00:17:42.460 Who I'm referring to
00:17:43.280 Is doxing
00:17:43.960 He's dick doxing himself
00:17:45.080 In the chat right now
00:17:45.840 He's saying he's not circumcised
00:17:47.340 What am I looking at then
00:17:48.600 Who is that
00:17:49.120 Where's the person
00:17:49.920 Pull it up
00:17:51.320 Who is that
00:17:52.080 He's gonna dox himself
00:17:54.240 Maybe he's not circumcised
00:17:56.080 But he's got a tight sleeve
00:17:57.080 Good old fashioned
00:17:59.580 This motherfucker
00:18:00.440 That's who did it
00:18:01.960 This guy
00:18:02.480 Yeah
00:18:03.180 Let me look at this picture
00:18:04.580 There's
00:18:05.200 That guy has a huge hog
00:18:07.400 Yeah absolutely
00:18:08.380 And hair like that
00:18:09.420 And he boasted
00:18:11.280 When he DM'd it to me
00:18:12.400 On telegram
00:18:12.960 And he boasted
00:18:13.540 And he said
00:18:14.060 I don't need to
00:18:15.040 Manscape motherfucker
00:18:16.120 Because this thing
00:18:17.280 Is so huge anyway
00:18:18.280 Is it bushy
00:18:18.920 You know what
00:18:19.800 He was right
00:18:21.320 He's got a bush
00:18:22.420 But the bush
00:18:23.100 Like his dick is so big
00:18:25.420 That it makes it look like
00:18:26.160 He doesn't even have
00:18:26.800 That much of a bush
00:18:27.620 It's crazy
00:18:28.340 Good old fashioned
00:18:30.840 Not you
00:18:31.720 Good old fashioned
00:18:32.460 How do you know
00:18:34.800 That it's him
00:18:35.440 Is he putting his face
00:18:36.860 With it
00:18:37.580 Or can you just tell
00:18:38.660 He messaged me
00:18:39.880 So I know it's him
00:18:40.760 Oh okay
00:18:41.300 Unless you can't get a cock
00:18:42.560 Off line
00:18:43.580 Well I mean
00:18:44.340 That's true
00:18:44.840 I guess
00:18:45.180 It's dangerous
00:18:45.740 It's dangerous
00:18:46.520 It's dangerous for a homeless dude
00:18:48.140 To be walking around
00:18:48.760 With that
00:18:49.000 You're right
00:18:49.200 He could be sending me
00:18:49.960 Somebody else's
00:18:50.660 But the
00:18:51.100 The carpet matches
00:18:52.960 The drapes
00:18:53.620 So but so
00:18:55.140 But so does
00:18:55.780 So I think it's probably him
00:18:56.820 Does the bodies match
00:18:57.900 Is he like ripped
00:18:58.700 Yeah I think it does
00:18:59.660 Yeah
00:18:59.960 Is he like ripped
00:19:00.920 You said he's like
00:19:01.580 Explain the rules again
00:19:03.020 He's got like
00:19:03.680 He's got like a decent bill
00:19:05.340 For sure
00:19:05.780 Like he's got
00:19:06.260 He's got some
00:19:06.820 Is it scrumptious
00:19:08.380 Or isn't it
00:19:09.300 Oh I forgot
00:19:10.180 Um
00:19:10.680 Yeah
00:19:11.860 Yeah
00:19:23.300 Even though this is only
00:19:24.180 Cock number two
00:19:25.380 Of this year's Cocktober
00:19:26.460 I'm gonna give it
00:19:27.360 Yeah
00:19:27.600 A scrumdiddly umptious
00:19:28.760 Yeah
00:19:29.060 So so
00:19:29.400 The the uh
00:19:30.600 The winner of Cocktober
00:19:32.380 Is not necessarily the funniest
00:19:33.780 Or
00:19:34.480 It's it's
00:19:35.920 Not like the biggest
00:19:36.960 The biggest
00:19:37.460 I don't think biggest
00:19:38.160 Is technically
00:19:38.620 It's a factor
00:19:39.360 But it's not actually
00:19:40.160 The deciding factor
00:19:41.240 I don't see this guy winning
00:19:42.280 Man
00:19:42.420 We do have another
00:19:43.000 Can you
00:19:43.580 Can you make it
00:19:44.440 To Bohemian Grove
00:19:45.520 I'm willing to give you
00:19:47.120 A VIP ticket
00:19:47.940 That comes with a cape
00:19:48.900 And uh
00:19:49.920 A box of playing cards
00:19:51.800 VIP tickets
00:19:55.800 If you can make it
00:19:56.800 Well it depends on who wins
00:19:58.180 I don't know
00:19:58.520 Should we
00:19:58.780 Should we do that
00:19:59.400 Yes
00:20:00.220 It's the most scrumptious
00:20:01.820 The scrumdiddly umptious
00:20:03.460 You'll have to
00:20:04.160 You'll have to buy him
00:20:04.900 Two plane tickets
00:20:05.660 So you can put his dick
00:20:06.460 In the other seat
00:20:07.060 Right
00:20:07.700 But we won't
00:20:08.800 We won't necessarily
00:20:09.200 Know who wins
00:20:10.120 Until
00:20:10.580 Like we're doing this
00:20:12.200 In October though
00:20:13.140 So I don't know
00:20:13.720 A live Cocktober
00:20:15.460 Do you think we could do
00:20:16.180 A live Cocktober
00:20:16.920 Do you think they would
00:20:17.460 Let us do that
00:20:18.140 We should
00:20:19.220 Yeah
00:20:19.480 Yeah you can do that
00:20:21.100 You can do whatever
00:20:21.460 You want there
00:20:21.900 We definitely should do that
00:20:22.880 That would be worthwhile
00:20:24.000 Baby
00:20:24.340 Anything goes
00:20:25.220 See because
00:20:26.260 Is this not the
00:20:27.600 I mean
00:20:27.940 I guess it's kind of
00:20:29.040 What the Legion of Skanks
00:20:29.680 Does with uh
00:20:30.600 The smallest dick contest
00:20:32.800 But we're doing the opposite
00:20:33.820 We're doing basically
00:20:34.560 The most scrumptiously
00:20:35.460 Dumpstious dick contest
00:20:37.100 We're doing the best
00:20:37.720 Oh shit
00:20:38.020 He's in Montreal
00:20:38.940 Does that knock him down
00:20:40.020 A peg
00:20:40.360 I don't know
00:20:40.780 I didn't think they made
00:20:42.580 Big dicks in Canada
00:20:43.720 Well you'd be wrong
00:20:45.140 Do you think maple syrup
00:20:46.520 Is like some kind of
00:20:47.860 Weird dick enlargent
00:20:49.420 Well this guy's got
00:20:50.440 Like a fucking maple tree
00:20:52.020 I've never
00:20:55.100 It's so funny
00:20:55.880 He's seen so many dicks
00:20:56.840 I'm sure there are a lot of women
00:20:57.260 He's seen so many dicks
00:20:58.100 Looking to tap into that sugar
00:20:59.200 Toad was always like
00:21:02.560 He was hesitant
00:21:03.540 To compliment the dick
00:21:05.220 Always
00:21:05.820 Except for this one
00:21:07.300 He's been very
00:21:08.200 He's like
00:21:09.500 This thing must be magnificent
00:21:11.760 This must be like
00:21:12.980 The Michael Jordan of dicks
00:21:14.480 Toad is salivating
00:21:16.620 He is
00:21:17.500 You want me to send it
00:21:18.500 In the group chat
00:21:19.980 Not yet
00:21:20.600 I don't want to see it
00:21:21.260 Not yet
00:21:21.520 Send it to Owen tomorrow
00:21:22.560 No
00:21:23.920 Wait a second
00:21:27.140 You fucking whore
00:21:29.040 You whore
00:21:34.380 How dare you
00:21:35.420 You're going to end up
00:21:36.560 Like Ashton
00:21:37.460 When in Rome
00:21:41.260 This is a horrible episode
00:21:44.240 Are we doing one
00:21:45.320 One mailbag or not
00:21:46.460 Yeah
00:21:47.040 Do it
00:21:47.580 Do it
00:21:47.900 Do one mailbag
00:21:49.300 By the way
00:21:51.060 If a group of guys
00:21:52.840 This is an apropos question
00:21:54.900 Mark Vestibule
00:21:56.620 Yeah
00:21:57.320 Well
00:21:58.040 Should we let Cole finish that thought
00:21:59.700 Or just
00:22:00.480 What I was saying is
00:22:01.860 If a group of guys judges a dick
00:22:04.160 It's just like slightly gay
00:22:05.740 That's called a gaggle
00:22:06.900 Yeah
00:22:07.500 But if like
00:22:08.160 If a woman judges a dick
00:22:10.720 It's literally whore behavior
00:22:12.400 Is it not
00:22:13.300 Yeah
00:22:13.860 Literally like stoned
00:22:15.480 Like bury you waist deep
00:22:17.280 And stone you
00:22:18.060 Yeah
00:22:18.480 It's like
00:22:18.740 The guys
00:22:20.340 It's just either like
00:22:21.240 Funny banter
00:22:22.080 Or like
00:22:23.120 On the line of being gay
00:22:25.080 Women
00:22:25.640 Complete whore
00:22:26.600 You're a fucking slut
00:22:27.920 I'm not super religious
00:22:29.180 But it's obvious
00:22:29.980 Like that's the part of the scripture
00:22:31.620 I agree with
00:22:32.280 Yeah
00:22:32.460 It's not gay either way
00:22:33.960 But I think it is
00:22:34.720 It's much better
00:22:36.360 To be a dude
00:22:37.620 Sitting there in front of a wall of cocks
00:22:39.820 Than to be a woman
00:22:40.620 Yeah
00:22:41.220 Because that's what
00:22:42.180 Women
00:22:42.580 Guys pay for women
00:22:44.420 To rate their cocks
00:22:45.480 That's something big
00:22:46.780 That happens on OnlyFans
00:22:47.720 I believe
00:22:48.140 Right
00:22:48.600 Yeah
00:22:49.000 That's such bad behavior
00:22:50.360 That's like
00:22:50.940 It shouldn't
00:22:51.980 It should be opposite
00:22:52.900 Like they should be paying men
00:22:54.820 To judge their cocks
00:22:55.800 Because we'll give them
00:22:56.620 Actually honest feedback
00:22:57.780 The women
00:22:58.700 They don't know
00:22:59.840 Oh man
00:23:00.420 Yeah
00:23:01.240 You're right
00:23:02.400 Yeah
00:23:03.640 You're right
00:23:03.960 They don't know what they want in a cock
00:23:05.060 Because like
00:23:05.720 Because if you're
00:23:06.280 If you're a straight man
00:23:07.440 It has to be a beautiful cock
00:23:11.080 For you to
00:23:11.720 To compliment it
00:23:13.460 Because if not
00:23:14.140 Like if it's like
00:23:14.760 Any other cock
00:23:15.240 We're like
00:23:15.560 We don't like seeing that
00:23:16.800 We don't want to see that
00:23:17.860 So like it has to be
00:23:18.820 It'd be like
00:23:20.040 The only cocks I want to see
00:23:21.340 Are beautiful and big
00:23:22.340 Like
00:23:23.560 Well it'd be basically like
00:23:24.860 If you show us an Indian woman
00:23:26.540 And like the only way
00:23:28.540 We're going to compliment them
00:23:29.200 If they are a
00:23:30.220 True 10 out of 10
00:23:31.780 Which for an Indian
00:23:32.820 It has to be
00:23:33.540 Like
00:23:33.960 Like the scale
00:23:35.960 Yeah
00:23:36.880 Like
00:23:37.160 It would
00:23:37.560 You have to be like
00:23:38.240 A 15 out of a 10
00:23:39.400 To get
00:23:39.860 Like a 10 out of 10
00:23:41.140 I don't even know
00:23:41.680 If she could be a 10
00:23:42.480 Because the smell
00:23:43.380 Is just going to
00:23:43.820 That's what I'm saying
00:23:44.160 No but that's what I'm saying
00:23:44.800 It has to be crazy good
00:23:46.920 Jordan
00:23:47.460 We can't tell you
00:23:49.020 What it is
00:23:49.520 Like this guy
00:23:50.040 Apparently the other guy
00:23:50.880 Nailed Raven's pose
00:23:52.080 Which he was paying attention
00:23:53.240 To last year's Coctober
00:23:54.420 And he re-emulated it
00:23:55.760 Yeah I mean
00:23:56.420 You just stand in front
00:23:57.260 Of a camera basically
00:23:58.060 Just show me you
00:23:59.540 As you are
00:24:00.220 I appreciate that
00:24:01.920 We can't tell you
00:24:04.040 How to pose
00:24:05.160 And we can't tell you
00:24:06.040 What to show us
00:24:06.840 It's just one of those things
00:24:07.980 You know a good dick
00:24:09.380 When you see it
00:24:10.300 Enjoy it
00:24:10.680 Because I am
00:24:11.380 I am the hardest
00:24:12.560 It has to
00:24:15.300 Yeah it's like
00:24:16.000 It doesn't really mean
00:24:17.100 Like you don't have to be
00:24:18.000 I feel like if you're
00:24:19.340 Full on rock hard
00:24:20.400 That's probably not good
00:24:22.040 If you are
00:24:23.240 Like
00:24:23.940 We'll take that into account
00:24:25.140 Yeah
00:24:25.480 If you're like
00:24:26.960 Just out of the pool
00:24:28.340 Soft
00:24:29.280 That's also probably not good
00:24:30.820 Because that's probably the worst
00:24:31.620 But if you're like
00:24:32.320 Somewhere in between
00:24:33.200 Where it's like
00:24:34.120 Like we can't be
00:24:35.220 Toad where he fluffed his up
00:24:36.780 Really
00:24:37.020 Don't tell him
00:24:37.700 I fluffed it
00:24:38.620 Another guy gave it
00:24:39.780 Like I mean
00:24:40.260 We had some that were
00:24:41.340 Like completely shriveled
00:24:42.340 We had some with like
00:24:43.160 Bumps on the dick
00:24:44.040 We're like we can't just
00:24:44.960 No
00:24:45.740 But no
00:24:46.640 But we want to see them
00:24:47.560 But we want
00:24:48.040 Because we will find
00:24:49.040 We'll find
00:24:50.480 Like we'll find the silver lining
00:24:52.120 You know
00:24:53.080 Yeah
00:24:53.960 In your penis
00:24:54.920 Yeah
00:24:55.580 I don't want to see any of these dicks
00:24:57.060 I think you guys are all fucking gay
00:24:58.320 It's a win-win for me
00:24:59.540 Because like
00:25:00.160 If it's a really good cock
00:25:01.500 I get to like
00:25:02.320 Witness a glorious cock
00:25:03.540 But if it's not
00:25:04.260 Then I get to like
00:25:04.880 Feel better about mine
00:25:05.900 Toad sent us a picture
00:25:07.160 Of his penis
00:25:08.000 Completely
00:25:08.840 Completely hard
00:25:10.000 No it was not
00:25:11.680 I just want everybody to realize
00:25:13.420 That Toad just acknowledged
00:25:14.440 That
00:25:14.800 Regardless of the caliber
00:25:16.880 Of the cock
00:25:17.440 He enjoys looking at it
00:25:19.020 Because if it's
00:25:21.080 If it's small and ugly
00:25:22.580 It makes him feel better
00:25:23.780 And if it's huge
00:25:24.700 He enjoys it
00:25:25.900 This man is a fucking weirdo
00:25:27.920 We did lose the plot
00:25:29.220 This was a 15 minute show
00:25:30.400 We're already double that
00:25:31.400 We have to come back again tomorrow
00:25:32.920 I feel like this is a good show right now
00:25:34.580 Is it gay or whore
00:25:35.920 For girls to rate tits?
00:25:38.300 Neither
00:25:38.620 Neither
00:25:40.400 I know you don't rate
00:25:41.540 Why would you rate tits?
00:25:42.800 Tits are always good
00:25:43.760 That's not true
00:25:45.360 That's not true
00:25:46.320 Dude you see
00:25:46.540 You see fucking Lizzo
00:25:47.660 After she lost all that weight?
00:25:49.240 Those things probably look like
00:25:50.580 Deflated hair
00:25:51.480 Flapjack motherfuckers
00:25:52.080 I don't consider that tit though
00:25:54.560 That's skin
00:25:55.580 I'm talking like
00:25:56.280 Tit is the
00:25:56.980 The meat
00:25:58.040 The fatty meat
00:25:58.880 Right?
00:25:59.460 The meat
00:25:59.760 Yeah
00:26:00.360 Yeah but not every girl's got those
00:26:02.200 That is true
00:26:04.160 I mean
00:26:04.360 Small ones are fine
00:26:06.400 I mean it all depends
00:26:07.220 I mean I've
00:26:08.000 Small ones are better than flapjacks
00:26:09.560 My rating system is way too complicated
00:26:11.060 People don't get it
00:26:12.440 Actually
00:26:12.760 Can you break down
00:26:14.420 Hold on
00:26:15.180 Hold on
00:26:15.580 Can you break down your rating system of titties please
00:26:17.880 Toad
00:26:18.580 I want to hear this whole
00:26:19.920 Like what you got
00:26:20.840 I want to hear the autistic
00:26:21.720 If you could play the violin I'd appreciate it
00:26:23.640 Why?
00:26:25.600 Just go
00:26:25.980 Just go
00:26:26.440 Is this an alien?
00:26:27.360 Because you said people wouldn't understand
00:26:28.860 Yeah
00:26:29.340 They wouldn't be able to
00:26:30.140 Is this an ailment of mine?
00:26:31.100 Well so
00:26:31.680 Size is certainly an overrated quality
00:26:35.200 I actually
00:26:36.320 You know what
00:26:37.060 I agree with you actually
00:26:37.840 I know you do
00:26:38.400 So you might like this
00:26:39.860 He's like I know you do
00:26:42.040 So
00:26:42.680 I mean
00:26:43.560 Size is a factor
00:26:45.280 But it's also about proportionality
00:26:47.020 It's got to be like proportional
00:26:48.160 Like the correct size for that particular body type
00:26:51.720 So that's one thing
00:26:52.580 The shape and like how perky it is really matters
00:26:56.240 That's like up there among importance
00:26:58.040 Color matters
00:26:59.220 I mean I'm a white supremacist
00:27:00.600 So you know I like
00:27:01.280 Yeah I like
00:27:02.400 Well and the color of like the nipple
00:27:04.560 And the areola matters a lot
00:27:05.980 So it's got to be like pink
00:27:07.120 Pink is number one man
00:27:08.780 Like just Aryan all the way
00:27:11.240 But not only that
00:27:11.880 But the best nipples are also
00:27:13.800 The ones that like puff out
00:27:15.300 You know what I mean
00:27:15.800 Like I think it's almost considered to be like
00:27:17.180 Some sort of like disorder
00:27:19.280 Or like they didn't form correctly
00:27:20.720 So maybe they're like retarded titties
00:27:22.300 But that's what I like man
00:27:23.340 The puffies
00:27:24.500 Yeah exactly
00:27:25.220 Robin knows what I'm talking about
00:27:27.380 So they um
00:27:28.400 Yeah like the areola
00:27:29.740 Like kind of puffs up
00:27:30.680 But I
00:27:31.060 I like it like
00:27:32.180 Almost like
00:27:33.340 Deformed in a way
00:27:34.820 Where like the
00:27:35.280 It's like so puffy
00:27:36.560 That it's almost like a second tit
00:27:38.240 Like on top of the tit
00:27:39.340 If that makes sense
00:27:40.560 You know what I mean
00:27:41.060 Like I like it to like
00:27:42.100 Really puff out
00:27:43.140 Yeah
00:27:43.960 You did such a great job
00:27:47.580 You answered every question
00:27:49.460 You knew all the best
00:27:50.920 Yeah the areola's
00:27:54.800 Yeah but you know
00:27:55.300 You know what I'm saying
00:27:56.260 Like I want to see those tits
00:27:58.100 Like they basically
00:27:59.120 They rise to meet you
00:28:01.180 And they're just like
00:28:01.900 Suck me right now Toad
00:28:03.680 Like just do it
00:28:04.720 Wait wait wait
00:28:06.520 So do you have like a
00:28:08.500 Like is it just like
00:28:09.700 If I see it
00:28:10.560 I have to
00:28:11.300 Or do you have like in your mind
00:28:12.680 You're like I like this shape
00:28:14.240 It has to be like
00:28:15.300 Or I like this
00:28:16.380 Like I guess proportional
00:28:17.400 It's like it needs to be
00:28:18.300 Slightly too big for her body
00:28:19.760 Is that what you're saying
00:28:20.680 No no
00:28:21.340 I like them a little bit
00:28:22.840 On the smaller side
00:28:23.660 What
00:28:24.740 What kind of titties
00:28:26.020 Did the fat bitch at Porkfest have
00:28:27.760 I gave them like a
00:28:30.100 What did I give them
00:28:31.560 Six five
00:28:32.440 Six six
00:28:33.180 Something in that range
00:28:34.960 Six point six
00:28:35.900 Yeah
00:28:36.620 I mean they're
00:28:37.260 They're big
00:28:37.980 They're a bit too big
00:28:38.800 For my liking
00:28:39.440 But I mean
00:28:40.060 She's got pretty good nips
00:28:42.200 That's specifically
00:28:43.480 Six point six
00:28:44.340 And you saw her nipples
00:28:45.220 You did
00:28:45.600 Yeah
00:28:46.660 Did you suck on her nipples
00:28:48.700 No
00:28:49.740 I probably should have
00:28:51.380 Mailbag
00:28:53.880 I missed out on that
00:28:55.960 I'm so glad
00:28:56.820 Because I
00:28:57.360 Would you rather
00:28:59.520 Suck mystery
00:29:00.260 Come out of a dead
00:29:01.180 Male prostitute's
00:29:02.300 Asshole
00:29:02.920 And swallow it
00:29:04.520 Okay
00:29:04.800 But no one will ever know
00:29:06.220 Or eat purified
00:29:07.860 Come from the
00:29:08.540 Cleanest source imaginable
00:29:09.720 But everyone you
00:29:11.220 Ever meet
00:29:12.500 Instantly
00:29:13.300 Knows you
00:29:14.600 Ate
00:29:15.220 Come
00:29:15.820 And your
00:29:16.820 First name
00:29:17.980 Is
00:29:18.480 Legally changed
00:29:20.220 To
00:29:22.280 Come
00:29:22.720 You can't even see this
00:29:24.540 I'm like legally changed
00:29:25.300 Okay
00:29:25.580 That one is
00:29:26.780 What is happening
00:29:27.980 Mark vestibule
00:29:29.300 I mean
00:29:30.320 I mean that's
00:29:31.380 The last tack on there
00:29:34.300 The cum eater
00:29:34.900 I think that made me
00:29:36.880 Go to the
00:29:37.480 Dead male prostitute
00:29:38.200 100%
00:29:38.820 That shifted me
00:29:39.900 I was all in on
00:29:41.340 Eating the pristine cum
00:29:42.360 And everybody knowing
00:29:43.080 But if I have to
00:29:44.340 Legally have my name
00:29:45.700 As cum eater
00:29:46.200 Like I can't
00:29:46.940 No I would still
00:29:47.560 Ruins your whole life
00:29:48.840 With cum eater Russell
00:29:50.420 I would still eat
00:29:53.780 The pristine cum man
00:29:54.920 Because you're gonna
00:29:55.460 Call me cum eater
00:29:56.340 Like is that even
00:29:56.940 Worse than toad
00:29:57.940 Yes
00:29:59.460 Cum eater is way
00:30:00.540 Worse than toad
00:30:01.580 What are you talking about
00:30:02.440 I did not choose toad
00:30:03.360 You don't choose
00:30:03.840 Your own nickname
00:30:04.500 Oh that's true
00:30:06.060 This is a good
00:30:06.420 Is it first name cum
00:30:07.600 Last name eater
00:30:08.220 Or is it just
00:30:08.780 One name together
00:30:10.380 And so you can
00:30:11.440 Tell people it's
00:30:12.280 It's cum eater
00:30:13.180 My name's cum eater
00:30:14.300 Cum eater
00:30:17.500 You're Indian
00:30:18.280 That's worse now
00:30:18.960 Cum eater
00:30:19.480 Holy shit
00:30:20.600 The cum eater
00:30:21.780 If that was taken out
00:30:22.720 I think I would
00:30:23.640 Oh god
00:30:25.520 Mystery
00:30:26.220 See here's what
00:30:27.020 I'm stuck on
00:30:27.540 Mystery cum
00:30:28.460 Is what I'm stuck on
00:30:29.840 And then
00:30:30.260 Purified cum
00:30:31.700 From the cleanest
00:30:33.020 Source imaginable
00:30:33.940 Is purified cum
00:30:35.140 Just water
00:30:35.780 Like if you just
00:30:37.220 Like spun it
00:30:37.920 In a centrifuge
00:30:38.640 You could like
00:30:39.100 Separate the parts
00:30:39.940 It would turn like
00:30:40.920 Yellow shit
00:30:41.660 And then water
00:30:42.460 It's probably like
00:30:43.580 The cum that's been
00:30:44.320 Like stored in
00:30:45.060 Like a sperm bank
00:30:46.000 But it
00:30:47.720 Probably came from
00:30:48.600 Like the purest
00:30:49.400 Source imaginable
00:30:50.240 Like it came from
00:30:50.780 The most pure
00:30:51.580 Like it basically
00:30:52.700 Is God's cum
00:30:53.700 It's
00:30:54.880 It would be
00:30:55.600 Basically
00:30:56.280 I'm trying to think
00:30:57.180 It would be
00:30:57.760 Who would you say
00:30:59.360 Has the best genetics
00:31:01.320 For a man
00:31:02.200 I feel like
00:31:02.940 What purified cum
00:31:03.980 Would be like
00:31:04.460 Cum without the babies
00:31:05.560 You're bald
00:31:05.900 Tom Brady
00:31:06.940 You're bald
00:31:07.600 Like they took the babies
00:31:11.740 Out of the cum
00:31:12.380 The little sperm
00:31:13.300 And it's just the cum
00:31:14.640 Would that be
00:31:15.540 Purified cum?
00:31:16.220 You mean like
00:31:16.840 It's just the semen?
00:31:18.720 It's just the fluid
00:31:19.780 Yeah
00:31:20.520 I feel like
00:31:22.460 I feel like
00:31:22.860 Ryan Gosling's
00:31:23.600 Cum is the most
00:31:24.380 Pure and delicious
00:31:24.900 I was leaning
00:31:25.980 Towards Ryan Gosling
00:31:27.040 And so it would have
00:31:28.520 To be like
00:31:29.020 His cum
00:31:29.740 That is then
00:31:31.060 Like
00:31:31.460 It's gotta come
00:31:32.640 From like a male
00:31:33.440 Version
00:31:33.940 But it's after
00:31:34.420 But it's like
00:31:34.960 He just went through
00:31:35.740 Like a juice cleanse
00:31:36.780 Like he just
00:31:37.760 Juice cleansed
00:31:38.820 And then that's his
00:31:39.580 And then he just
00:31:40.180 And he comes out
00:31:40.800 And it's just
00:31:41.220 I don't know why
00:31:41.560 All these details matter
00:31:42.760 Because I'm not
00:31:43.340 I'm not legally
00:31:44.200 Changing my name
00:31:44.840 To cum eater
00:31:45.300 So I'm not doing that
00:31:46.180 It's
00:31:46.640 That is
00:31:49.020 Because I guess
00:31:50.180 I guess that's why
00:31:50.900 I made it too easy
00:31:51.420 He made it
00:31:51.880 He made it much harder
00:31:53.040 This is definitely
00:31:55.840 Yeah
00:31:56.060 He definitely
00:31:57.180 Makes things harder
00:31:58.280 Kulm yater
00:31:59.920 I think you gotta
00:32:01.940 You gotta go with
00:32:02.520 The pristine cum man
00:32:03.620 Ryan Dawson's cum
00:32:04.540 Is probably the mystery cum
00:32:05.560 You're sucking out of the dead
00:32:06.520 Yeah you're gonna have to
00:32:06.700 Change your name
00:32:07.200 That mystery cum
00:32:08.000 Dude
00:32:08.240 You could die
00:32:09.260 As a result of consuming that
00:32:10.620 Who even knows man
00:32:11.560 You're felching it
00:32:12.920 I'm prepared to take that risk
00:32:14.780 As long as I don't have to hear
00:32:15.840 People call me cum
00:32:16.360 Yeah I would not be able to
00:32:17.480 For the rest of my life
00:32:18.800 Yeah
00:32:19.340 I don't care what you call me
00:32:21.360 The rest of my life
00:32:22.020 I'm ready to roll the dice
00:32:23.360 Like mystery cum
00:32:24.640 Could be a good thing
00:32:25.660 It could be really bad
00:32:26.820 But it could be good too
00:32:27.400 What do you think
00:32:27.780 Is coming out of the
00:32:28.600 Dead male prostitutes asshole
00:32:30.440 That's true
00:32:30.840 Mystery cum could be anything
00:32:31.940 If you eat cum
00:32:32.800 Out of a dead prostitutes asshole
00:32:34.340 You might become a superhero
00:32:36.060 You don't know
00:32:36.940 That is a superhero origin story
00:32:39.340 I mean
00:32:39.780 Do you think the mystery cum
00:32:40.980 Is like
00:32:41.400 The mystery Laffy Taffy
00:32:42.940 Hey Eric July
00:32:43.940 Free idea for your next comic
00:32:45.580 Have at it
00:32:46.820 But that's
00:32:47.700 That's not great Clint
00:32:48.700 Because then that means
00:32:49.520 If you become a superhero
00:32:51.100 By eating the cum
00:32:51.920 Out of the prostitutes asshole
00:32:53.520 Then you're gonna be
00:32:54.900 Nicknamed the cum eater anyway
00:32:56.340 That's your origin story
00:32:57.840 I'm a cum eater
00:32:58.880 This actually kind of sounds like
00:33:00.660 This actually kind of sounds like
00:33:00.680 Some like
00:33:01.460 Erotic
00:33:02.880 Like adult
00:33:03.980 Like
00:33:05.500 Like adult
00:33:08.260 Comic book
00:33:09.980 Yeah that's what this sounds like
00:33:11.280 An adult gay comic book
00:33:12.760 Is like you eat cum
00:33:13.920 Out of
00:33:14.360 Some mystery man's asshole
00:33:16.460 Chase Oliver
00:33:17.000 And then you
00:33:17.460 There was a big collector
00:33:17.860 Of the cum eater
00:33:19.160 Alright we're making chase all of our jokes
00:33:20.840 That means we've gone on too long
00:33:22.140 We're out of here
00:33:22.960 Ladies and gentlemen
00:33:23.840 Thank you so much for tuning in
00:33:25.000 Tune in tomorrow night
00:33:26.020 At 9 o'clock sharp
00:33:27.660 Or something
00:33:28.500 With Owen Benjamin
00:33:30.100 It's gonna be a banger
00:33:30.540 Real quick
00:33:31.840 What topic should we discuss tomorrow
00:33:33.160 What we got
00:33:33.960 What do we got
00:33:34.420 Feeling
00:33:34.900 If we could not talk about Jews
00:33:36.740 It'd be awesome
00:33:37.460 I actually
00:33:38.280 Hurricane
00:33:38.980 Weather engineering
00:33:40.440 I don't know
00:33:40.840 He's been really big
00:33:41.860 On the weather engineering
00:33:42.680 I saw that today
00:33:43.760 It was actually funny
00:33:44.520 He posted a
00:33:45.300 Something on Instagram
00:33:46.800 And it was
00:33:47.560 An old top gear
00:33:48.860 With Jeremy Clarkson
00:33:50.120 And it was showing
00:33:50.800 An actual
00:33:51.420 Like
00:33:52.300 Huge
00:33:53.540 Machine
00:33:54.560 That pumps
00:33:55.400 Like water vapor
00:33:56.780 Into the air
00:33:57.340 And cause it to rain
00:33:58.400 Oh yeah
00:33:58.860 I remember that
00:33:59.720 And then there was
00:34:00.440 A
00:34:00.780 There was a fact check
00:34:02.660 Because Instagram
00:34:03.260 Will fact check you
00:34:04.180 And put like
00:34:04.800 It said
00:34:06.120 This is partially false
00:34:07.140 See fact check
00:34:08.060 And you click on it
00:34:09.160 And it says
00:34:09.860 No information available
00:34:11.000 Yeah
00:34:11.400 It literally said
00:34:12.400 No
00:34:12.620 It was like
00:34:13.320 Fact check
00:34:13.820 Partly false
00:34:15.200 You click on it
00:34:16.100 It said no information available
00:34:17.040 It was hilarious
00:34:17.600 Because it was
00:34:18.220 A real thing
00:34:19.440 They were actually
00:34:20.040 It was in like
00:34:20.780 Arkansas or something like that
00:34:21.980 Well to
00:34:22.600 To Top
00:34:23.520 To Josie
00:34:24.520 To Jose
00:34:25.000 If he's watching
00:34:25.620 Which he probably isn't
00:34:26.900 To Raven
00:34:27.700 To everybody
00:34:28.180 That's actually
00:34:28.800 In the path of the storm
00:34:30.000 I guess Cole might be
00:34:31.000 Who cares
00:34:31.400 He has a mobile home
00:34:32.200 It doesn't matter
00:34:32.760 Thank you guys for tuning in
00:34:34.500 If you could hit the like button
00:34:35.560 Subscribe
00:34:36.580 And share the show around
00:34:37.840 Maybe not this episode
00:34:39.140 But we've done really great episodes
00:34:40.500 In the past
00:34:40.960 As you're aware
00:34:41.460 And we have another
00:34:42.920 We have another banger tomorrow
00:34:44.300 I actually enjoyed this episode
00:34:45.460 But
00:34:45.740 It was fun
00:34:46.600 Sorry for the truncated version
00:34:48.220 Go Padres
00:34:49.180 We love you guys
00:34:49.860 We're out of here
00:34:50.160 Peace
00:34:50.380 Might be a little bit straight
00:34:51.980 It's the Tower Power Hour slut
00:34:55.100 To the Tower Power Hour bitch
00:34:56.760 No way Jose
00:34:57.840 Liberty Lockdown
00:34:59.420 To the Tower Power Hour
00:35:00.520 Flint bitch
00:35:01.300 Reed
00:35:02.460 Cole
00:35:05.120 Top Lobster
00:35:07.220 And Toad
00:35:08.160 Tower Gang
00:35:09.420 Tower Gang
00:35:09.920 Tower Gang
00:35:10.420 Tower Gang
00:35:10.980 Tower Gang
00:35:11.960 Tower Gang
00:35:12.460 Tower Gang
00:35:12.960 Liberty Lock is truth
00:35:14.300 Same with Lobster
00:35:15.940 Cole and Jose
00:35:16.900 Toad is sick
00:35:18.300 No way Jose
00:35:19.260 It's the Tower Power Hour slut
00:35:21.040 They made Dave Smith
00:35:21.880 All his
00:35:22.460 Tower Gang
00:35:22.960 Tower Gang
00:35:23.500 Tower Gang
00:35:24.360 Tower Gang
00:35:25.060 Tower Gang
00:35:25.500 Tower Gang
00:35:26.040 Tower Gang
00:35:26.560 Tower Gang
00:35:27.160 Tower Gang
00:35:27.980 They made Dave Smith
00:35:28.960 All his things
00:35:29.900 Tower Gang
00:35:30.480 Tower Gang
00:35:32.440 Tower Gang
00:35:32.960 Tower Gang
00:35:33.520 Tower Gang
00:35:34.040 Tower Gang
00:35:34.780 Tower Gang
00:35:37.640 It's so fucking hard
00:35:38.900 To line up those syllables
00:35:40.600 Tower Gang
00:35:41.400 Tower Gang
00:35:41.960 Tower Gang
00:35:42.500 Tower Gang
00:35:42.980 Tower Gang
00:35:43.820 Tower Gang
00:35:44.180 Tower Gang
00:35:44.660 Tower Gang
00:35:45.080 Tower Gang
00:35:46.680 That's all folks
00:35:48.160 We'll be right back.