Tower Gang - Ep 198 - Just the Tip

00:00:00.000 I won't find out until... 1.00

00:00:01.340 This shit is retarded. 1.00

00:00:02.080 This shit is retarded. 1.00

00:00:03.000 This is how we get Wednesday, motherfuckers. 1.00

00:00:06.220 You're retarded. 1.00

00:00:06.720 What's up, retards? 1.00

00:00:10.940 I want to listen to music from the hood. 0.94

00:00:12.800 I don't ever want to step foot in it.

00:00:14.580 Yes.

00:00:14.860 Right.

00:00:17.160 I've been reprying for another one,

00:00:19.120 and in the background of mine, I was like, 0.86

00:00:20.660 it would be me that gets retarded, baby. 0.87

00:00:22.620 But it would be so cruel. 0.92

00:00:23.720 And I'm like...

00:00:24.840 You and your down...

00:00:25.720 Nah, that's a good point. 1.00

00:00:30.820 He didn't fuck his mom. 1.00

00:00:32.260 He just had his dick in her. 1.00

00:00:37.140 Why are we talking about 1.00

00:00:38.260 on this show?

00:00:39.440 Whoa! 0.71

00:00:42.080 Oh, that's too far.

00:00:44.500 I'm asking you a question.

00:00:47.380 I'm asking you a question.

00:00:48.500 Start...

00:00:49.820 Whoa, with the feet. 1.00

00:00:51.040 Skip the pussy. 1.00

00:00:52.180 Skip it. 1.00

00:00:52.860 It's not what this show is about. 1.00

00:00:54.420 This shit is retarded. 1.00

00:00:55.720 Coming at you live 1.00

00:01:00.720 from the eye of the hurricane. 1.00

00:01:02.020 This is Tower Gang, bitches. 1.00

00:01:04.100 This is Clint Russell, 0.96

00:01:04.980 and Tap Laps to have such a low upload speed

00:01:07.440 that he's going to hear this intro

00:01:08.680 in about 30 to 45 seconds,

00:01:10.300 but it doesn't really matter

00:01:11.300 because we got Toad in the building,

00:01:12.880 and he's really the life of the show,

00:01:14.260 life of the party. 1.00

00:01:15.260 Better off dead. 0.99

00:01:16.040 We also got Cole, 0.98

00:01:17.060 who's also the life of the show,

00:01:18.880 and he's built like a midget, 0.80

00:01:20.320 but he's very, very jacked. 0.97

00:01:21.460 I'm Clint. 0.97

00:01:22.440 I'm nondescript.

00:01:23.820 Just a standard white guy.

00:01:25.760 That's it.

00:01:26.200 You're a former BPS co-host.

00:01:28.540 That's right.

00:01:29.180 Well, we'll see.

00:01:30.320 I'm still waiting to hear from Luke

00:01:32.060 if it's going to work out or not.

00:01:33.940 I'm actually the death of the show.

00:01:35.960 Yeah, dude, did you get fired?

00:01:36.980 Is that really what happened?

00:01:39.040 Did I get fired?

00:01:41.020 No, I don't think you can fire me

00:01:42.560 from a volunteer position.

00:01:44.140 I saw this post.

00:01:45.820 Luke jokingly suggests

00:01:46.860 he needs a new co-host,

00:01:47.960 and I kind of like them.

00:01:48.680 Clint brings Luke

00:01:49.800 to their very popular podcast,

00:01:51.780 which too bad.

00:01:53.240 I know he liked it,

00:01:54.080 but it's gone.

00:01:54.660 It's gone forever.

00:01:56.020 He's replaced by Martha Bueno.

00:01:59.340 Who do you think?

00:02:00.800 All right.

00:02:01.400 Do you think?

00:02:02.060 I lost to a cop

00:02:03.060 and a woman this year.

00:02:04.400 Dude, I want to see,

00:02:05.660 like, do you think,

00:02:06.440 or do you think he like goes

00:02:08.040 and he's like,

00:02:08.540 hey, I'm bringing on

00:02:09.440 Patrick Beck David.

00:02:10.420 He's going to be the co-host. 1.00

00:02:11.340 You're like, what the fuck? 0.99

00:02:13.020 I'd be thrilled for him. 0.99

00:02:15.020 Not going to happen,

00:02:15.820 but I'd be thrilled for him.

00:02:16.360 No, it'd be really funny

00:02:18.100 if it's just like,

00:02:18.940 yeah, I got Joe Rogan's coming in.

00:02:20.660 He's just going to co-host the show now,

00:02:21.820 and you're like,

00:02:22.280 what the hell? 0.98

00:02:23.460 Let me ask you something. 0.99

00:02:24.100 Let me ask you this.

00:02:25.200 So when I got fired from Odyssey,

00:02:28.140 part of me is like,

00:02:29.440 oh, that stinks.

00:02:30.380 Like, Odyssey went down.

00:02:31.820 I mean, I got fired,

00:02:32.820 but then part of me was like,

00:02:34.640 I hope they fail.

00:02:35.760 And then now I watch them fail,

00:02:37.260 and I'm like, ha.

00:02:38.560 Do you feel that same way about Luke?

00:02:39.920 Are you like, I hope he fails?

00:02:41.300 No.

00:02:41.640 Oh, my God.

00:02:42.080 I don't root for people's demise.

00:02:45.780 Just me.

00:02:47.040 Will you celebrate his demise?

00:02:49.500 No.

00:02:50.500 No.

00:02:51.440 I wouldn't.

00:02:52.420 Why did you fire my boy, Luke?

00:02:54.100 He's not even fired yet.

00:02:55.920 Now he is.

00:03:01.740 I don't feel like that's a winning mindset.

00:03:06.580 I really don't.

00:03:07.540 No, I don't feel that way.

00:03:08.660 I feel like Trump roots for the people

00:03:11.460 he doesn't like to demise.

00:03:12.640 And he wins a lot.

00:03:13.760 You should root for your enemy's demise, I think.

00:03:14.920 That's a fair point.

00:03:16.020 Fair counterpoint, Cole. 0.91

00:03:17.040 And maybe I have a loser's mentality

00:03:18.880 in that I don't root for people's demise.

00:03:21.920 They are the deal.

00:03:23.720 Chapter one,

00:03:24.680 root for your everybody's demise. 1.00

00:03:26.600 Chapter one, fuck. 1.00

00:03:27.700 Is that your replacement right here? 1.00

00:03:29.600 Oh.

00:03:30.280 Oh, who is this guy?

00:03:31.300 Who is that? 0.99

00:03:32.180 I got replaced by a fat Asian. 1.00

00:03:33.920 Fuck. 1.00

00:03:34.380 Is that an Asian lesbian? 1.00

00:03:37.260 Oh, my God. 0.94

00:03:37.960 What is happening?

00:03:38.960 This is devastating.

00:03:39.900 Anyways, all right.

00:03:40.440 So here's the deal.

00:03:41.220 Here's the deal.

00:03:42.360 Here's the deal, ladies and gentlemen,

00:03:43.760 in the audience. 1.00

00:03:45.360 Because Top's connection is shit 1.00

00:03:47.320 and Jose is dead. 1.00

00:03:49.560 Is in Langley.

00:03:50.640 He may be dead.

00:03:51.420 He may drown. 0.84

00:03:52.140 I think he's dead.

00:03:52.680 He's either dead or Langley pulled him back.

00:03:55.000 So here's the plan.

00:03:56.240 He stared into the hurricane

00:03:57.440 and was like,

00:03:58.100 I'm not going to even move here, man. 1.00

00:03:59.880 Fuck this hurricane. 1.00

00:04:01.120 And we'll see what happens to Jose. 1.00

00:04:02.520 That's not what happened.

00:04:03.580 I'm glad I let you talk

00:04:05.160 so you could get that gem out there.

00:04:06.680 Anyways. 1.00

00:04:07.040 What the fuck are you talking about? 0.99

00:04:10.360 So here's the plan. 1.00

00:04:12.360 We're basically just going to do

00:04:13.900 a little bit of BS with you guys

00:04:15.540 because we love you very much

00:04:16.660 and it's Wednesday. 1.00

00:04:17.720 But Top's connection is shit. 1.00

00:04:18.780 We can't do the show. 1.00

00:04:19.660 Not the full length.

00:04:20.760 So we got Owen Benjamin

00:04:21.880 scheduled for tomorrow night.

00:04:23.300 We're hoping that everybody's connections

00:04:24.600 and everything is good tomorrow.

00:04:26.340 We're going to do the Laney edit.

00:04:27.640 We're going to hang out for 10, 15 minutes.

00:04:29.680 That's it.

00:04:29.940 We're not going to make the same mistake

00:04:31.700 as we did last time

00:04:32.720 and play a Laney edit for Owen Benjamin

00:04:34.320 because that went just as well as

00:04:36.860 literally the worst thing that we could do

00:04:39.560 that we found out

00:04:40.740 for y'all tonight

00:04:42.300 so that tomorrow we don't have to do it.

00:04:44.420 Luke is watching.

00:04:45.040 We can't give you the full length

00:04:45.820 so we're giving you just the tip.

00:04:47.140 You think Luke is hate-watching you right now? 1.00

00:04:49.000 It's like that fucking tall dick bitch. 1.00

00:04:50.460 It's not even off the show yet. 1.00

00:04:52.660 I don't know.

00:04:53.360 But all I know is that

00:04:55.000 we had viewers of the show

00:04:57.580 that were messaging me

00:04:58.600 in the middle of it going like,

00:05:00.200 hey, he just said that he's looking

00:05:01.220 for a new co-host. 0.99

00:05:02.080 What the fuck's going on, man? 0.99

00:05:03.280 And I was like, oh, okay. 1.00

00:05:05.240 Well, then I guess my demands

00:05:07.720 are not going to be met.

00:05:08.840 Here we go. 1.00

00:05:10.340 Fuck you, nigger. 1.00

00:05:11.540 Get off my fucking stream. 1.00

00:05:17.040 That's how you time it. 1.00

00:05:18.900 That's why Luke seems to like me

00:05:21.420 because he's actually rooting

00:05:22.540 for Tower Gang's demise

00:05:23.960 and I'm the one that brings that to the show.

00:05:25.940 I think that's why, yeah.

00:05:27.880 Oh, man.

00:05:28.980 No, you know what?

00:05:29.640 Laney doesn't have an Owen safe edit

00:05:31.080 because nobody knew Owen was coming on.

00:05:33.240 We just decided this today.

00:05:35.120 It was a whole thing.

00:05:37.140 Watch some missiles blowing people up.

00:05:40.140 What was it with that one?

00:05:41.460 That one was like,

00:05:42.200 it was a bunch of...

00:05:43.340 It was the small across.

00:05:45.040 Okay, it was a small across one.

00:05:46.620 That's right.

00:05:47.000 Okay, yeah.

00:05:47.520 It was the eight-minute Laney edit 0.96

00:05:49.300 of blowing up tiny women. 0.57

00:05:51.240 And for some reason, 0.93

00:05:53.100 Owen didn't like it.

00:05:53.920 I don't know.

00:05:54.140 No, he didn't.

00:05:54.660 It was a very...

00:05:55.120 Why not?

00:05:56.340 They want to know if they need to watch.

00:05:58.420 You got to go watch

00:05:59.200 the first hundred episodes

00:06:00.580 of the best political show

00:06:01.680 to understand that.

00:06:02.640 And then also go back

00:06:03.720 and watch the first hundred episodes

00:06:04.920 of this

00:06:05.380 to understand when 0.99

00:06:06.760 Clint was fucking 1.00

00:06:08.160 his ex-girlfriend. 1.00

00:06:10.240 And then that created a whole...

00:06:12.240 It's a whole debacle.

00:06:13.900 It's a shenanigans.

00:06:15.200 I mean, shenanigans over the top.

00:06:16.840 I mean, we can go on forever,

00:06:18.280 but we really...

00:06:18.940 We have like ten more minutes

00:06:19.820 on this show.

00:06:20.520 So I think we should

00:06:21.260 optimize our time better

00:06:23.160 than talking about Luke's show.

00:06:25.420 No, we're just gonna...

00:06:26.540 We're here to promote

00:06:27.180 Ashton Birdie's OnlyFans.

00:06:30.700 Is she nude on that thing yet? 0.75

00:06:33.780 I don't know, Toad.

00:06:34.640 Is she?

00:06:35.240 I think you would know.

00:06:36.880 Toad, please don't pretend

00:06:38.300 as if you don't know.

00:06:39.820 Toad is absolutely just

00:06:42.860 trawling through

00:06:43.780 all the message boards,

00:06:45.180 all the forums.

00:06:46.060 She's just like looking

00:06:46.960 and trying to see

00:06:47.580 if anybody's leaked

00:06:48.440 all her nudes yet.

00:06:50.100 I am doing that, yeah.

00:06:51.320 You're right.

00:06:51.800 Who has nudes? 0.73

00:06:52.420 Who has nudes? 0.73

00:06:53.200 Who are we talking about?

00:06:54.940 Ashton.

00:06:56.820 I don't know if she does or not.

00:06:58.140 She doesn't yet.

00:06:59.980 Did you say Ashton?

00:07:01.120 I'm sorry.

00:07:01.560 You're cutting in and out.

00:07:02.660 What did you say?

00:07:02.720 Yes, Ashton.

00:07:03.560 Yes.

00:07:04.440 I actually did peruse.

00:07:07.140 I just looked at Instagram

00:07:08.480 and I'm like,

00:07:09.560 for sure she does.

00:07:10.300 100%.

00:07:10.660 It's actually very sad

00:07:11.880 what Clint did to her.

00:07:13.240 You'd be afraid of Clint.

00:07:14.160 You cannot put that on me. 1.00

00:07:17.880 You're a monster. 1.00

00:07:19.400 You cannot put that on me. 1.00

00:07:21.240 Whose room is she in? 0.87

00:07:22.220 She has like a life-size

00:07:23.260 Chucky doll

00:07:24.040 and she's dressed up

00:07:25.100 like Wednesday

00:07:25.960 from the Addams family 0.99

00:07:27.240 but like a slutty version. 0.97

00:07:28.620 I'm just like, 0.91

00:07:29.020 I don't understand.

00:07:29.940 And she clearly has this

00:07:31.040 autistic look on her face.

00:07:32.760 It's very strange.

00:07:33.660 She's gotten more...

00:07:35.060 Bro,

00:07:35.080 I saved her from herself

00:07:38.260 for a year.

00:07:38.880 You can't put

00:07:39.760 what's happening to her

00:07:41.260 now on me.

00:07:42.440 Clint,

00:07:42.680 you're Israel 0.95

00:07:43.340 and she's Palestine. 1.00

00:07:44.220 You fucked her up, bro. 1.00

00:07:46.660 You fucked her up. 1.00

00:07:48.200 And now she's acting out 1.00

00:07:49.360 against basically...

00:07:50.480 I don't know

00:07:50.720 what you're talking about.

00:07:51.340 She's got plenty of water. 1.00

00:07:53.520 You're going to have to

00:07:55.300 put her down. 1.00

00:07:57.520 It's your job.

00:07:58.380 It's literally your job

00:07:59.560 to find her

00:08:00.260 wherever she is 0.96

00:08:00.960 and put her out of her misery. 0.97

00:08:02.240 It's wrong what you're doing.

00:08:03.420 No!

00:08:03.960 It's wrong what you did.

00:08:04.880 No, it's true.

00:08:05.620 So my dog,

00:08:07.200 he's got cancer, right?

00:08:08.480 And we're looking at him.

00:08:09.980 Yeah, I know it's bad.

00:08:10.740 It's cancer of the heart

00:08:11.680 and we're trying to give him stuff.

00:08:12.880 I like how I say it about a dog

00:08:13.460 but not Ashton.

00:08:15.000 No, well, here's the thing.

00:08:15.960 She's got cancer

00:08:17.240 but it's a different type.

00:08:18.740 It's more of a social cancer.

00:08:20.540 But I'm looking at my dog

00:08:22.200 and when I look at him,

00:08:24.460 I'm like,

00:08:24.880 any minute,

00:08:25.500 this guy's heart could explode.

00:08:27.080 And I'm like,

00:08:27.600 it's my job

00:08:28.280 to be responsible

00:08:29.620 and not hold on

00:08:30.780 and put him down 0.89

00:08:31.720 when it's time.

00:08:32.980 And it's your job,

00:08:34.060 Corinne,

00:08:34.620 to find her. 0.99

00:08:35.860 And you have to euthanize her 0.56

00:08:38.280 before,

00:08:39.060 I mean,

00:08:39.360 things get,

00:08:39.840 it's getting out there.

00:08:41.240 There's only so much

00:08:42.280 Comic-Cons can take,

00:08:43.520 Clint.

00:08:43.940 And I think you need to

00:08:44.720 just man up.

00:08:46.300 I feel like

00:08:47.580 she should just

00:08:48.380 roam free at Comic-Cons

00:08:50.020 as she has been doing

00:08:51.480 and that's fine by me.

00:08:53.040 And I will wish her well.

00:08:54.920 This is what I do.

00:08:55.660 I don't,

00:08:55.940 I don't wish,

00:08:56.880 I don't put down X's. 0.99

00:08:58.740 I don't wish people ill.

00:09:00.540 Like,

00:09:00.820 this is all your energy.

00:09:01.900 That's not mine.

00:09:02.360 No, you're wishing 0.60

00:09:02.980 for her demise.

00:09:04.620 This is like,

00:09:05.040 I wish her well.

00:09:06.100 That's like, 1.00

00:09:06.600 I hope she dies. 0.96

00:09:08.160 That's exactly what Clint 0.99

00:09:09.000 is doing.

00:09:09.240 No!

00:09:10.120 That's genuinely

00:09:10.980 not how I feel.

00:09:12.080 I just care about the cause

00:09:13.080 and I care about the movement. 0.98

00:09:13.920 I just don't give a fuck 0.99

00:09:14.500 about these people. 0.98

00:09:15.360 I just like how you're

00:09:16.620 equating Clint's exes

00:09:17.420 to a bunch of animals.

00:09:19.660 Equating his exes

00:09:20.560 to like dogs,

00:09:21.580 horses,

00:09:22.160 whatever.

00:09:23.000 I think

00:09:24.080 we should actually

00:09:25.460 commend Clint

00:09:26.260 because

00:09:27.060 you want to be

00:09:28.960 on the pre-OnlyFans.

00:09:30.880 No, Josie,

00:09:31.740 we have business

00:09:32.480 to attend to.

00:09:33.120 I've been meaning

00:09:33.620 to talk about this

00:09:34.400 for a long time

00:09:35.160 and now we're doing it.

00:09:36.400 Also, rest in peace, David.

00:09:37.580 You want to be

00:09:38.520 on the pre-OnlyFans

00:09:41.000 stage of a woman?

00:09:43.300 Like,

00:09:43.500 you don't want to be

00:09:43.860 on the post stage of it.

00:09:45.340 So like,

00:09:46.480 Clint was literally

00:09:47.500 at the pre-stage.

00:09:48.980 Like,

00:09:49.100 he finished the pre-stage

00:09:50.620 and then now

00:09:52.080 anybody she dates

00:09:52.920 is on the post stage.

00:09:53.940 What about the during stage?

00:09:55.700 That's,

00:09:56.400 ooh.

00:09:57.400 During,

00:09:58.000 it's during

00:09:58.740 or post worst.

00:09:59.920 Post,

00:10:00.240 I guess post would be

00:10:01.200 way worse,

00:10:01.660 I feel like.

00:10:02.260 What if the during

00:10:02.880 happens while you're

00:10:03.760 with her? 1.00

00:10:05.120 Then you're a fucking loser. 1.00

00:10:07.020 Yeah, yeah. 1.00

00:10:07.500 Because,

00:10:08.400 is it worse

00:10:10.100 for during or post?

00:10:10.820 I would say post

00:10:11.620 because it's all out there

00:10:12.740 and then she's like,

00:10:14.160 oh,

00:10:14.300 I can't make money

00:10:14.940 off this anymore

00:10:15.580 and I have to,

00:10:17.540 oh, yeah,

00:10:18.000 see,

00:10:18.400 Clint was.

00:10:20.180 Is.

00:10:21.180 I would probably do it

00:10:22.280 if I could make money.

00:10:25.000 Do you do OnlyFans?

00:10:26.100 Is that what you're saying?

00:10:27.080 Yeah,

00:10:27.580 I'll do an OnlyFans.

00:10:29.180 You should.

00:10:30.380 Yeah.

00:10:31.180 Do you think you,

00:10:31.740 if you did, 0.65

00:10:32.620 you and the big tittied 0.99

00:10:34.780 gambling girl, 0.66

00:10:37.100 do you think you or her

00:10:38.380 would have more

00:10:39.140 doing gambling

00:10:39.820 on your OnlyFans?

00:10:43.100 What?

00:10:43.720 We're combining gambling 0.51

00:10:44.900 with sex?

00:10:46.060 What's happening?

00:10:46.980 That seems like you're,

00:10:48.560 literally,

00:10:49.060 that seems like your fantasy.

00:10:50.600 Literally,

00:10:51.100 whatever the question is,

00:10:52.680 the answer is

00:10:53.340 big titty gambling girl 0.99

00:10:54.420 makes more money. 0.66

00:10:55.040 Anyways,

00:10:57.460 can we run the Lainey edit?

00:10:58.500 Let's do this.

00:10:58.880 Yeah,

00:10:59.100 let's run it.

00:10:59.800 Let's do this.

00:11:00.320 These people don't deserve

00:11:01.060 much more.

00:11:02.580 A Lainey Hobbamok production.

00:11:05.580 Let's check it out.

00:11:12.800 Yo,

00:11:13.420 that's cool.

00:11:15.920 I like that.

00:11:16.640 I like that.

00:11:17.280 We should have

00:11:18.300 the worst guest,

00:11:19.960 like the most

00:11:20.460 uncomfortable person

00:11:21.460 that we could think of.

00:11:22.880 We already put him

00:11:23.680 on the show regularly.

00:11:25.040 I like that.

00:11:25.640 Oh,

00:11:26.000 jeez.

00:11:26.580 Oh,

00:11:27.160 jeez.

00:11:31.580 Yeah.

00:11:32.920 Yeah.

00:11:33.800 Yeah.

00:11:34.640 Yeah.

00:11:36.520 Hell, 1.00

00:11:37.020 motherfucking yeah. 1.00

00:11:38.960 Yeah. 0.99

00:11:39.920 Yeah.

00:11:40.780 Yeah.

00:11:41.700 Yeah.

00:11:44.220 Gotta need a

00:11:45.240 bake-a-boomin'

00:11:46.160 not the 87

00:11:47.260 Bewey

00:11:47.860 stepping missile.

00:11:49.500 Oh, 1.00

00:11:50.460 fuck! 1.00

00:11:50.680 People are gonna vote 1.00

00:11:51.120 for their own slavery.

00:11:52.080 I'd rather just put them

00:11:52.960 in slavery. 0.96

00:11:53.460 Bingo.

00:11:54.940 Oh ho ho ho ho ho! 0.99

00:11:58.160 God,

00:12:02.680 I'm just not gonna do it. 1.00

00:12:03.780 Josie sucks. 1.00

00:12:04.880 It's like, 1.00

00:12:05.160 I really don't.

00:12:05.560 Ha ha ha!

00:12:06.680 Ha ha ha!

00:12:06.920 Blowing money

00:12:07.740 like it's mucus 0.99

00:12:08.700 told my nigga 0.98

00:12:09.500 get it losin'. 1.00

00:12:10.480 Let's go shootin' 0.99

00:12:11.380 like it's clueless. 0.97

00:12:12.460 My nicks like

00:12:13.120 Iron Giant

00:12:13.840 need a pillar

00:12:14.660 for these wrecks.

00:12:16.020 You think Chase

00:12:16.600 likes him young?

00:12:17.280 For real?

00:12:17.600 Are you asking us to say if Chase Oliver

00:12:20.960 Is a pedophile 1.00

00:12:21.680 Who are you looking at when you jerk off 1.00

00:12:28.680 You fucking homo 1.00

00:12:29.620 I mean have you guys ever been to Tijuana 1.00

00:12:31.340 Who do you look at when you're jerking off 1.00

00:12:33.320 Murderers and rapists 1.00

00:12:36.180 Is that a child getting ripped apart 0.99

00:12:53.620 I do want you to go to that Jimmy John's 0.99

00:12:56.340 But I want you to shoot the place up 0.99

00:12:57.720 Every now and then I'll pull my balls out 1.00

00:13:02.960 And scratch them while I'm standing 1.00

00:13:04.480 Did you jerk off at the Holocaust Memorial 0.99

00:13:10.220 I bring the 1.00

00:13:12.840 I paid for nigger 1.00

00:13:19.440 I can't get her 0.99

00:13:20.360 That's an old one

00:13:30.820 That he really likes

00:13:32.580 He would like

00:13:33.580 He went out there

00:13:34.640 Great one

00:13:56.820 Another great one

00:13:58.240 I missed a minute of it

00:14:00.100 I just couldn't see it

00:14:01.380 But now I have to download it

00:14:02.880 And watch it myself

00:14:03.500 You missed a tremendously murderous

00:14:05.720 Laney edit

00:14:06.080 Dude it was like

00:14:06.760 Probably the most

00:14:07.520 I never

00:14:08.140 Yeah that was probably the most

00:14:09.320 At least straight up murders

00:14:11.260 Like a lot of the times

00:14:12.500 They've been going for

00:14:13.320 Doing a lot

00:14:13.920 Because most of the time

00:14:16.320 Most of the time

00:14:17.060 It's a lot of

00:14:17.800 Just like accidents

00:14:19.740 Like road accidents

00:14:21.380 Or something like that

00:14:21.960 This was intentional

00:14:22.000 This was straight up

00:14:23.460 Like

00:14:23.900 Go up to somebody 1.00

00:14:25.560 Shoot them in the head 1.00

00:14:26.780 Point blank 1.00

00:14:27.280 I counted at least

00:14:28.120 Four homicides

00:14:29.040 There were way more than that

00:14:30.760 I'm pretty sure

00:14:31.760 The guy

00:14:32.580 Walked up to a cop

00:14:34.240 Just blew his head off 0.80

00:14:35.580 Right there 0.73

00:14:36.280 Just

00:14:36.640 Now

00:14:37.420 But the worst one though

00:14:38.320 Was the accident

00:14:38.940 That was the guy

00:14:39.760 That fell in the train

00:14:41.080 And got run over

00:14:41.860 Which is

00:14:42.200 That wasn't the worst one

00:14:42.980 That was an Indian 1.00

00:14:44.040 So one guy

00:14:45.920 Got thrown off a train

00:14:46.980 And he hit another guy

00:14:49.000 Walking

00:14:49.400 And like

00:14:50.180 Both of them

00:14:50.660 Are now

00:14:51.240 Oh I saw

00:14:51.840 Yeah that one

00:14:52.320 I don't know

00:14:52.600 It looked like

00:14:53.300 Like a subway

00:14:54.040 I don't know

00:14:55.080 That one was difficult

00:14:56.000 To tell what happened there

00:14:57.080 It's crazy

00:14:59.440 I don't know

00:14:59.980 Where you even find

00:15:00.600 These videos

00:15:01.000 I think the train

00:15:01.640 Knocked a person

00:15:02.500 Into another person

00:15:03.500 Or something

00:15:03.900 I don't know

00:15:04.300 It happened too fast

00:15:05.320 My heart rate

00:15:06.840 Was out of control

00:15:07.480 We will do

00:15:08.040 So

00:15:08.460 For everybody

00:15:09.200 That's joining in late

00:15:10.260 We'll

00:15:10.780 We have Owen Benjamin

00:15:11.860 On tomorrow

00:15:12.440 Because

00:15:13.000 Topps

00:15:13.520 Internet's terrible

00:15:14.940 Jose's dead

00:15:15.600 Let's just

00:15:16.360 Do Mark Vestibule's

00:15:17.240 Mailbag

00:15:17.560 And we'll get out of here

00:15:18.140 You know what

00:15:18.500 That's true

00:15:19.020 What do we want to do

00:15:20.140 About the cocktobers 0.99

00:15:21.380 We have two more cocks 1.00

00:15:22.580 Well

00:15:23.020 Not

00:15:23.420 Not tomorrow

00:15:24.600 I just want you to 0.90

00:15:25.560 Look at the cocks 0.69

00:15:26.220 And just wait

00:15:27.200 I just want you to

00:15:27.980 Look at them

00:15:28.440 Should we do

00:15:29.000 You guys want to do

00:15:29.680 One today

00:15:30.180 No we need

00:15:32.320 We need

00:15:32.560 We need

00:15:32.900 I'm not going to

00:15:34.100 Do this without Jose

00:15:34.880 I'm not going to

00:15:35.900 Let Jose

00:15:36.300 Miss out on a cocktober 0.97

00:15:37.800 Well the next cock up 0.99

00:15:39.640 Is a very nice cock 0.99

00:15:41.640 So 0.99

00:15:42.080 It's a hog man

00:15:48.560 I'm telling you

00:15:51.780 As soon as I saw it

00:15:53.660 I was like

00:15:53.980 This guy's going to win 0.99

00:15:54.940 Tell us about the cock 0.99

00:15:57.660 Like before we 0.99

00:15:58.480 I mean do you want me to

00:16:04.320 Are we doing it right now

00:16:05.360 You want me to

00:16:05.680 No no no

00:16:06.300 We don't want to see it

00:16:07.000 But you just tell us

00:16:07.780 Tell us what you think

00:16:08.500 Because obviously you have

00:16:09.280 A skewed judgment of things

00:16:10.480 But I really want to hear it

00:16:11.420 Anyway

00:16:11.580 He's a white guy

00:16:12.940 And he's got like a

00:16:14.900 Slender muscular build

00:16:17.020 Like he's like svelte

00:16:18.240 So his picture is just

00:16:20.440 Straight on

00:16:21.360 Like almost like the same pose

00:16:22.560 That Raven gave us

00:16:23.440 It's just a straight on

00:16:24.480 This is me

00:16:25.720 I'm just standing here

00:16:26.560 Right in front of you

00:16:26.800 But his full like

00:16:28.180 Is it like neck down

00:16:29.060 Yeah you can't see his face in it

00:16:31.180 So it's like neck down

00:16:32.100 But he's shirtless

00:16:32.800 Is it hanging

00:16:34.000 Or is it banging

00:16:34.740 No it's hanging

00:16:35.880 But it hangs

00:16:37.420 So

00:16:38.180 Is it heavy

00:16:39.440 Is it heavy

00:16:40.100 Or is it like flaccid

00:16:42.000 Like

00:16:42.360 No it's flaccid

00:16:43.700 And it is

00:16:44.240 One of the longest cocks

00:16:46.100 That I've ever seen

00:16:46.920 And you can tell

00:16:49.260 So it has some weight

00:16:50.240 Behind it though

00:16:50.760 I mean

00:16:51.060 It looks

00:16:51.400 I think he's pretty tall

00:16:52.900 It's got some girth

00:16:53.860 Behind it

00:16:54.200 But it looks meaty

00:16:55.840 Like it looks like

00:16:56.580 It would like

00:16:57.140 Yeah the only thing

00:16:58.000 That's weird

00:16:58.400 Is like the head

00:16:59.280 Like it almost looks like 0.87

00:17:00.080 He's like partially circumcised 0.58

00:17:01.680 It's a little bit weird

00:17:02.500 But other than that

00:17:03.240 Oh that's odd

00:17:03.460 Partially circumcised 0.69

00:17:04.500 Did it look scrumptious

00:17:05.840 I don't know

00:17:05.860 It's just like

00:17:06.300 I think he was circumcised

00:17:07.760 But it's just like

00:17:08.300 The

00:17:08.520 It's like the foreskins 1.00

00:17:10.820 Coming back almost

00:17:11.760 It's like kind of

00:17:12.340 Rolling up there

00:17:13.040 A little bit you know

00:17:13.780 Almost like a turtleneck

00:17:15.540 If you were a girl

00:17:15.800 Would you put this inside 0.87

00:17:17.220 Of you 1.00

00:17:17.640 If you had a pussy 1.00

00:17:19.040 No 1.00

00:17:20.800 No man 0.97

00:17:25.120 Because it would hurt

00:17:25.940 I wouldn't be able to take it

00:17:27.220 That's what I've

00:17:28.080 Tyler deserves a raise 0.98

00:17:29.020 He's really fucking good 0.97

00:17:29.820 I've wondered about that 0.94

00:17:31.720 Like if

00:17:32.120 Like what 0.99

00:17:32.800 If you look at a cock 0.99

00:17:33.880 I guess if you do say 1.00

00:17:35.640 Like if I was a woman 1.00

00:17:36.740 I would fuck that 1.00

00:17:37.580 That is a gay thing to say 1.00

00:17:39.040 Yeah of course 0.99

00:17:40.080 That's very gay to say 0.97

00:17:41.380 This gentleman 0.94

00:17:42.460 Who I'm referring to

00:17:43.280 Is doxing 1.00

00:17:43.960 He's dick doxing himself 0.99

00:17:45.080 In the chat right now 1.00

00:17:45.840 He's saying he's not circumcised 0.97

00:17:47.340 What am I looking at then

00:17:48.600 Who is that

00:17:49.120 Where's the person

00:17:49.920 Pull it up

00:17:51.320 Who is that

00:17:52.080 He's gonna dox himself 0.89

00:17:54.240 Maybe he's not circumcised 1.00

00:17:56.080 But he's got a tight sleeve

00:17:57.080 Good old fashioned 1.00

00:17:59.580 This motherfucker 1.00

00:18:00.440 That's who did it 1.00

00:18:01.960 This guy

00:18:02.480 Yeah

00:18:03.180 Let me look at this picture

00:18:04.580 There's

00:18:05.200 That guy has a huge hog

00:18:07.400 Yeah absolutely

00:18:08.380 And hair like that

00:18:09.420 And he boasted

00:18:11.280 When he DM'd it to me

00:18:12.400 On telegram

00:18:12.960 And he boasted

00:18:13.540 And he said

00:18:14.060 I don't need to 0.99

00:18:15.040 Manscape motherfucker 0.99

00:18:16.120 Because this thing 0.99

00:18:17.280 Is so huge anyway

00:18:18.280 Is it bushy

00:18:18.920 You know what

00:18:19.800 He was right

00:18:21.320 He's got a bush

00:18:22.420 But the bush 1.00

00:18:23.100 Like his dick is so big 1.00

00:18:25.420 That it makes it look like 1.00

00:18:26.160 He doesn't even have

00:18:26.800 That much of a bush

00:18:27.620 It's crazy

00:18:28.340 Good old fashioned

00:18:30.840 Not you

00:18:31.720 Good old fashioned

00:18:32.460 How do you know

00:18:34.800 That it's him

00:18:35.440 Is he putting his face

00:18:36.860 With it

00:18:37.580 Or can you just tell

00:18:38.660 He messaged me

00:18:39.880 So I know it's him

00:18:40.760 Oh okay 1.00

00:18:41.300 Unless you can't get a cock 0.99

00:18:42.560 Off line 0.99

00:18:43.580 Well I mean

00:18:44.340 That's true

00:18:44.840 I guess

00:18:45.180 It's dangerous

00:18:45.740 It's dangerous

00:18:46.520 It's dangerous for a homeless dude

00:18:48.140 To be walking around

00:18:48.760 With that

00:18:49.000 You're right

00:18:49.200 He could be sending me

00:18:49.960 Somebody else's

00:18:50.660 But the

00:18:51.100 The carpet matches

00:18:52.960 The drapes

00:18:53.620 So but so

00:18:55.140 But so does

00:18:55.780 So I think it's probably him

00:18:56.820 Does the bodies match

00:18:57.900 Is he like ripped

00:18:58.700 Yeah I think it does

00:18:59.660 Yeah

00:18:59.960 Is he like ripped

00:19:00.920 You said he's like

00:19:01.580 Explain the rules again

00:19:03.020 He's got like

00:19:03.680 He's got like a decent bill

00:19:05.340 For sure

00:19:05.780 Like he's got

00:19:06.260 He's got some

00:19:06.820 Is it scrumptious

00:19:08.380 Or isn't it

00:19:09.300 Oh I forgot

00:19:10.180 Um

00:19:10.680 Yeah

00:19:11.860 Yeah

00:19:23.300 Even though this is only

00:19:24.180 Cock number two

00:19:25.380 Of this year's Cocktober 0.84

00:19:26.460 I'm gonna give it

00:19:27.360 Yeah

00:19:27.600 A scrumdiddly umptious

00:19:28.760 Yeah

00:19:29.060 So so

00:19:29.400 The the uh

00:19:30.600 The winner of Cocktober

00:19:32.380 Is not necessarily the funniest

00:19:33.780 Or

00:19:34.480 It's it's

00:19:35.920 Not like the biggest

00:19:36.960 The biggest

00:19:37.460 I don't think biggest

00:19:38.160 Is technically

00:19:38.620 It's a factor

00:19:39.360 But it's not actually

00:19:40.160 The deciding factor

00:19:41.240 I don't see this guy winning

00:19:42.280 Man

00:19:42.420 We do have another

00:19:43.000 Can you

00:19:43.580 Can you make it

00:19:44.440 To Bohemian Grove

00:19:45.520 I'm willing to give you

00:19:47.120 A VIP ticket

00:19:47.940 That comes with a cape

00:19:48.900 And uh

00:19:49.920 A box of playing cards

00:19:51.800 VIP tickets

00:19:55.800 If you can make it

00:19:56.800 Well it depends on who wins

00:19:58.180 I don't know

00:19:58.520 Should we

00:19:58.780 Should we do that

00:19:59.400 Yes

00:20:00.220 It's the most scrumptious

00:20:01.820 The scrumdiddly umptious

00:20:03.460 You'll have to

00:20:04.160 You'll have to buy him

00:20:04.900 Two plane tickets 1.00

00:20:05.660 So you can put his dick 1.00

00:20:06.460 In the other seat 1.00

00:20:07.060 Right

00:20:07.700 But we won't

00:20:08.800 We won't necessarily

00:20:09.200 Know who wins

00:20:10.120 Until

00:20:10.580 Like we're doing this

00:20:12.200 In October though

00:20:13.140 So I don't know

00:20:13.720 A live Cocktober 1.00

00:20:15.460 Do you think we could do

00:20:16.180 A live Cocktober 1.00

00:20:16.920 Do you think they would

00:20:17.460 Let us do that

00:20:18.140 We should

00:20:19.220 Yeah

00:20:19.480 Yeah you can do that

00:20:21.100 You can do whatever

00:20:21.460 You want there

00:20:21.900 We definitely should do that

00:20:22.880 That would be worthwhile

00:20:24.000 Baby

00:20:24.340 Anything goes

00:20:25.220 See because

00:20:26.260 Is this not the

00:20:27.600 I mean

00:20:27.940 I guess it's kind of

00:20:29.040 What the Legion of Skanks 1.00

00:20:29.680 Does with uh 0.99

00:20:30.600 The smallest dick contest 0.99

00:20:32.800 But we're doing the opposite 0.97

00:20:33.820 We're doing basically

00:20:34.560 The most scrumptiously 0.99

00:20:35.460 Dumpstious dick contest 1.00

00:20:37.100 We're doing the best 1.00

00:20:37.720 Oh shit 0.98

00:20:38.020 He's in Montreal 1.00

00:20:38.940 Does that knock him down

00:20:40.020 A peg

00:20:40.360 I don't know

00:20:40.780 I didn't think they made 0.98

00:20:42.580 Big dicks in Canada 0.98

00:20:43.720 Well you'd be wrong 0.98

00:20:45.140 Do you think maple syrup

00:20:46.520 Is like some kind of 0.99

00:20:47.860 Weird dick enlargent 0.99

00:20:49.420 Well this guy's got 1.00

00:20:50.440 Like a fucking maple tree 0.99

00:20:52.020 I've never 0.99

00:20:55.100 It's so funny 0.98

00:20:55.880 He's seen so many dicks 0.99

00:20:56.840 I'm sure there are a lot of women 1.00

00:20:57.260 He's seen so many dicks 1.00

00:20:58.100 Looking to tap into that sugar 0.98

00:20:59.200 Toad was always like

00:21:02.560 He was hesitant 1.00

00:21:03.540 To compliment the dick 1.00

00:21:05.220 Always 1.00

00:21:05.820 Except for this one

00:21:07.300 He's been very

00:21:08.200 He's like

00:21:09.500 This thing must be magnificent

00:21:11.760 This must be like 0.99

00:21:12.980 The Michael Jordan of dicks 0.88

00:21:14.480 Toad is salivating 0.75

00:21:16.620 He is

00:21:17.500 You want me to send it

00:21:18.500 In the group chat

00:21:19.980 Not yet

00:21:20.600 I don't want to see it

00:21:21.260 Not yet

00:21:21.520 Send it to Owen tomorrow

00:21:22.560 No

00:21:23.920 Wait a second 1.00

00:21:27.140 You fucking whore 1.00

00:21:29.040 You whore 1.00

00:21:34.380 How dare you 1.00

00:21:35.420 You're going to end up

00:21:36.560 Like Ashton

00:21:37.460 When in Rome

00:21:41.260 This is a horrible episode

00:21:44.240 Are we doing one

00:21:45.320 One mailbag or not

00:21:46.460 Yeah

00:21:47.040 Do it

00:21:47.580 Do it

00:21:47.900 Do one mailbag

00:21:49.300 By the way

00:21:51.060 If a group of guys

00:21:52.840 This is an apropos question

00:21:54.900 Mark Vestibule

00:21:56.620 Yeah

00:21:57.320 Well

00:21:58.040 Should we let Cole finish that thought

00:21:59.700 Or just

00:22:00.480 What I was saying is 1.00

00:22:01.860 If a group of guys judges a dick 1.00

00:22:04.160 It's just like slightly gay 1.00

00:22:05.740 That's called a gaggle 0.97

00:22:06.900 Yeah

00:22:07.500 But if like 1.00

00:22:08.160 If a woman judges a dick 1.00

00:22:10.720 It's literally whore behavior 1.00

00:22:12.400 Is it not 0.99

00:22:13.300 Yeah

00:22:13.860 Literally like stoned

00:22:15.480 Like bury you waist deep 1.00

00:22:17.280 And stone you 1.00

00:22:18.060 Yeah

00:22:18.480 It's like

00:22:18.740 The guys

00:22:20.340 It's just either like

00:22:21.240 Funny banter

00:22:22.080 Or like

00:22:23.120 On the line of being gay 0.89

00:22:25.080 Women 1.00

00:22:25.640 Complete whore 1.00

00:22:26.600 You're a fucking slut 1.00

00:22:27.920 I'm not super religious 1.00

00:22:29.180 But it's obvious

00:22:29.980 Like that's the part of the scripture

00:22:31.620 I agree with

00:22:32.280 Yeah

00:22:32.460 It's not gay either way 0.89

00:22:33.960 But I think it is

00:22:34.720 It's much better

00:22:36.360 To be a dude 0.99

00:22:37.620 Sitting there in front of a wall of cocks 1.00

00:22:39.820 Than to be a woman 1.00

00:22:40.620 Yeah

00:22:41.220 Because that's what

00:22:42.180 Women 1.00

00:22:42.580 Guys pay for women 1.00

00:22:44.420 To rate their cocks 0.99

00:22:45.480 That's something big

00:22:46.780 That happens on OnlyFans

00:22:47.720 I believe

00:22:48.140 Right

00:22:48.600 Yeah

00:22:49.000 That's such bad behavior

00:22:50.360 That's like

00:22:50.940 It shouldn't

00:22:51.980 It should be opposite

00:22:52.900 Like they should be paying men 0.99

00:22:54.820 To judge their cocks 0.98

00:22:55.800 Because we'll give them 0.92

00:22:56.620 Actually honest feedback

00:22:57.780 The women 0.97

00:22:58.700 They don't know

00:22:59.840 Oh man

00:23:00.420 Yeah

00:23:01.240 You're right

00:23:02.400 Yeah

00:23:03.640 You're right 0.99

00:23:03.960 They don't know what they want in a cock 1.00

00:23:05.060 Because like 0.98

00:23:05.720 Because if you're

00:23:06.280 If you're a straight man 0.99

00:23:07.440 It has to be a beautiful cock 1.00

00:23:11.080 For you to 0.99

00:23:11.720 To compliment it

00:23:13.460 Because if not

00:23:14.140 Like if it's like 0.99

00:23:14.760 Any other cock 0.98

00:23:15.240 We're like 0.95

00:23:15.560 We don't like seeing that

00:23:16.800 We don't want to see that

00:23:17.860 So like it has to be

00:23:18.820 It'd be like 0.85

00:23:20.040 The only cocks I want to see 1.00

00:23:21.340 Are beautiful and big 0.87

00:23:22.340 Like

00:23:23.560 Well it'd be basically like

00:23:24.860 If you show us an Indian woman 1.00

00:23:26.540 And like the only way

00:23:28.540 We're going to compliment them

00:23:29.200 If they are a 0.92

00:23:30.220 True 10 out of 10

00:23:31.780 Which for an Indian

00:23:32.820 It has to be

00:23:33.540 Like

00:23:33.960 Like the scale

00:23:35.960 Yeah

00:23:36.880 Like

00:23:37.160 It would

00:23:37.560 You have to be like

00:23:38.240 A 15 out of a 10

00:23:39.400 To get

00:23:39.860 Like a 10 out of 10

00:23:41.140 I don't even know

00:23:41.680 If she could be a 10 0.69

00:23:42.480 Because the smell

00:23:43.380 Is just going to

00:23:43.820 That's what I'm saying

00:23:44.160 No but that's what I'm saying

00:23:44.800 It has to be crazy good

00:23:46.920 Jordan

00:23:47.460 We can't tell you

00:23:49.020 What it is

00:23:49.520 Like this guy

00:23:50.040 Apparently the other guy

00:23:50.880 Nailed Raven's pose 0.86

00:23:52.080 Which he was paying attention

00:23:53.240 To last year's Coctober

00:23:54.420 And he re-emulated it

00:23:55.760 Yeah I mean

00:23:56.420 You just stand in front

00:23:57.260 Of a camera basically

00:23:58.060 Just show me you

00:23:59.540 As you are

00:24:00.220 I appreciate that

00:24:01.920 We can't tell you

00:24:04.040 How to pose

00:24:05.160 And we can't tell you

00:24:06.040 What to show us

00:24:06.840 It's just one of those things 1.00

00:24:07.980 You know a good dick 1.00

00:24:09.380 When you see it 1.00

00:24:10.300 Enjoy it

00:24:10.680 Because I am

00:24:11.380 I am the hardest

00:24:12.560 It has to

00:24:15.300 Yeah it's like

00:24:16.000 It doesn't really mean

00:24:17.100 Like you don't have to be

00:24:18.000 I feel like if you're

00:24:19.340 Full on rock hard

00:24:20.400 That's probably not good

00:24:22.040 If you are

00:24:23.240 Like

00:24:23.940 We'll take that into account

00:24:25.140 Yeah

00:24:25.480 If you're like

00:24:26.960 Just out of the pool

00:24:28.340 Soft

00:24:29.280 That's also probably not good

00:24:30.820 Because that's probably the worst

00:24:31.620 But if you're like

00:24:32.320 Somewhere in between

00:24:33.200 Where it's like

00:24:34.120 Like we can't be

00:24:35.220 Toad where he fluffed his up

00:24:36.780 Really

00:24:37.020 Don't tell him

00:24:37.700 I fluffed it

00:24:38.620 Another guy gave it

00:24:39.780 Like I mean

00:24:40.260 We had some that were

00:24:41.340 Like completely shriveled

00:24:42.340 We had some with like 1.00

00:24:43.160 Bumps on the dick 1.00

00:24:44.040 We're like we can't just 1.00

00:24:44.960 No

00:24:45.740 But no

00:24:46.640 But we want to see them

00:24:47.560 But we want

00:24:48.040 Because we will find

00:24:49.040 We'll find

00:24:50.480 Like we'll find the silver lining

00:24:52.120 You know

00:24:53.080 Yeah 1.00

00:24:53.960 In your penis 1.00

00:24:54.920 Yeah 1.00

00:24:55.580 I don't want to see any of these dicks 1.00

00:24:57.060 I think you guys are all fucking gay 1.00

00:24:58.320 It's a win-win for me 1.00

00:24:59.540 Because like 0.98

00:25:00.160 If it's a really good cock 0.97

00:25:01.500 I get to like 0.99

00:25:02.320 Witness a glorious cock 0.99

00:25:03.540 But if it's not 0.99

00:25:04.260 Then I get to like

00:25:04.880 Feel better about mine

00:25:05.900 Toad sent us a picture 1.00

00:25:07.160 Of his penis 1.00

00:25:08.000 Completely 1.00

00:25:08.840 Completely hard

00:25:10.000 No it was not

00:25:11.680 I just want everybody to realize

00:25:13.420 That Toad just acknowledged

00:25:14.440 That

00:25:14.800 Regardless of the caliber 0.68

00:25:16.880 Of the cock 0.85

00:25:17.440 He enjoys looking at it 0.98

00:25:19.020 Because if it's

00:25:21.080 If it's small and ugly

00:25:22.580 It makes him feel better

00:25:23.780 And if it's huge

00:25:24.700 He enjoys it 1.00

00:25:25.900 This man is a fucking weirdo 1.00

00:25:27.920 We did lose the plot 1.00

00:25:29.220 This was a 15 minute show

00:25:30.400 We're already double that

00:25:31.400 We have to come back again tomorrow

00:25:32.920 I feel like this is a good show right now 1.00

00:25:34.580 Is it gay or whore 1.00

00:25:35.920 For girls to rate tits? 1.00

00:25:38.300 Neither 0.99

00:25:38.620 Neither

00:25:40.400 I know you don't rate 0.96

00:25:41.540 Why would you rate tits? 1.00

00:25:42.800 Tits are always good 0.99

00:25:43.760 That's not true

00:25:45.360 That's not true

00:25:46.320 Dude you see 0.99

00:25:46.540 You see fucking Lizzo 0.99

00:25:47.660 After she lost all that weight? 0.99

00:25:49.240 Those things probably look like

00:25:50.580 Deflated hair 0.99

00:25:51.480 Flapjack motherfuckers 1.00

00:25:52.080 I don't consider that tit though 1.00

00:25:54.560 That's skin

00:25:55.580 I'm talking like

00:25:56.280 Tit is the

00:25:56.980 The meat

00:25:58.040 The fatty meat

00:25:58.880 Right?

00:25:59.460 The meat

00:25:59.760 Yeah

00:26:00.360 Yeah but not every girl's got those 1.00

00:26:02.200 That is true

00:26:04.160 I mean

00:26:04.360 Small ones are fine

00:26:06.400 I mean it all depends

00:26:07.220 I mean I've

00:26:08.000 Small ones are better than flapjacks 0.95

00:26:09.560 My rating system is way too complicated

00:26:11.060 People don't get it

00:26:12.440 Actually

00:26:12.760 Can you break down

00:26:14.420 Hold on

00:26:15.180 Hold on 0.62

00:26:15.580 Can you break down your rating system of titties please 0.69

00:26:17.880 Toad

00:26:18.580 I want to hear this whole

00:26:19.920 Like what you got

00:26:20.840 I want to hear the autistic 1.00

00:26:21.720 If you could play the violin I'd appreciate it

00:26:23.640 Why?

00:26:25.600 Just go

00:26:25.980 Just go

00:26:26.440 Is this an alien?

00:26:27.360 Because you said people wouldn't understand

00:26:28.860 Yeah

00:26:29.340 They wouldn't be able to

00:26:30.140 Is this an ailment of mine?

00:26:31.100 Well so

00:26:31.680 Size is certainly an overrated quality

00:26:35.200 I actually

00:26:36.320 You know what

00:26:37.060 I agree with you actually

00:26:37.840 I know you do

00:26:38.400 So you might like this

00:26:39.860 He's like I know you do

00:26:42.040 So

00:26:42.680 I mean

00:26:43.560 Size is a factor

00:26:45.280 But it's also about proportionality

00:26:47.020 It's got to be like proportional

00:26:48.160 Like the correct size for that particular body type

00:26:51.720 So that's one thing

00:26:52.580 The shape and like how perky it is really matters

00:26:56.240 That's like up there among importance

00:26:58.040 Color matters

00:26:59.220 I mean I'm a white supremacist

00:27:00.600 So you know I like

00:27:01.280 Yeah I like

00:27:02.400 Well and the color of like the nipple

00:27:04.560 And the areola matters a lot

00:27:05.980 So it's got to be like pink

00:27:07.120 Pink is number one man 0.99

00:27:08.780 Like just Aryan all the way 1.00

00:27:11.240 But not only that 0.99

00:27:11.880 But the best nipples are also 0.95

00:27:13.800 The ones that like puff out 0.95

00:27:15.300 You know what I mean

00:27:15.800 Like I think it's almost considered to be like

00:27:17.180 Some sort of like disorder

00:27:19.280 Or like they didn't form correctly 1.00

00:27:20.720 So maybe they're like retarded titties 1.00

00:27:22.300 But that's what I like man 0.99

00:27:23.340 The puffies

00:27:24.500 Yeah exactly

00:27:25.220 Robin knows what I'm talking about

00:27:27.380 So they um

00:27:28.400 Yeah like the areola

00:27:29.740 Like kind of puffs up

00:27:30.680 But I

00:27:31.060 I like it like

00:27:32.180 Almost like

00:27:33.340 Deformed in a way 0.98

00:27:34.820 Where like the

00:27:35.280 It's like so puffy

00:27:36.560 That it's almost like a second tit

00:27:38.240 Like on top of the tit

00:27:39.340 If that makes sense

00:27:40.560 You know what I mean

00:27:41.060 Like I like it to like

00:27:42.100 Really puff out

00:27:43.140 Yeah

00:27:43.960 You did such a great job

00:27:47.580 You answered every question

00:27:49.460 You knew all the best

00:27:50.920 Yeah the areola's

00:27:54.800 Yeah but you know

00:27:55.300 You know what I'm saying 1.00

00:27:56.260 Like I want to see those tits 1.00

00:27:58.100 Like they basically 0.99

00:27:59.120 They rise to meet you

00:28:01.180 And they're just like 0.98

00:28:01.900 Suck me right now Toad 0.99

00:28:03.680 Like just do it 1.00

00:28:04.720 Wait wait wait

00:28:06.520 So do you have like a

00:28:08.500 Like is it just like

00:28:09.700 If I see it

00:28:10.560 I have to

00:28:11.300 Or do you have like in your mind

00:28:12.680 You're like I like this shape

00:28:14.240 It has to be like

00:28:15.300 Or I like this

00:28:16.380 Like I guess proportional

00:28:17.400 It's like it needs to be

00:28:18.300 Slightly too big for her body

00:28:19.760 Is that what you're saying

00:28:20.680 No no

00:28:21.340 I like them a little bit

00:28:22.840 On the smaller side

00:28:23.660 What 0.99

00:28:24.740 What kind of titties 1.00

00:28:26.020 Did the fat bitch at Porkfest have 1.00

00:28:27.760 I gave them like a 1.00

00:28:30.100 What did I give them

00:28:31.560 Six five

00:28:32.440 Six six

00:28:33.180 Something in that range

00:28:34.960 Six point six

00:28:35.900 Yeah

00:28:36.620 I mean they're

00:28:37.260 They're big

00:28:37.980 They're a bit too big

00:28:38.800 For my liking

00:28:39.440 But I mean

00:28:40.060 She's got pretty good nips 1.00

00:28:42.200 That's specifically

00:28:43.480 Six point six 0.98

00:28:44.340 And you saw her nipples 0.99

00:28:45.220 You did 0.99

00:28:45.600 Yeah 1.00

00:28:46.660 Did you suck on her nipples 1.00

00:28:48.700 No 1.00

00:28:49.740 I probably should have

00:28:51.380 Mailbag

00:28:53.880 I missed out on that

00:28:55.960 I'm so glad

00:28:56.820 Because I

00:28:57.360 Would you rather 1.00

00:28:59.520 Suck mystery 1.00

00:29:00.260 Come out of a dead 1.00

00:29:01.180 Male prostitute's 1.00

00:29:02.300 Asshole 1.00

00:29:02.920 And swallow it 1.00

00:29:04.520 Okay

00:29:04.800 But no one will ever know

00:29:06.220 Or eat purified

00:29:07.860 Come from the

00:29:08.540 Cleanest source imaginable

00:29:09.720 But everyone you

00:29:11.220 Ever meet

00:29:12.500 Instantly

00:29:13.300 Knows you

00:29:14.600 Ate

00:29:15.220 Come

00:29:15.820 And your

00:29:16.820 First name

00:29:17.980 Is 0.88

00:29:18.480 Legally changed

00:29:20.220 To

00:29:22.280 Come

00:29:22.720 You can't even see this

00:29:24.540 I'm like legally changed

00:29:25.300 Okay

00:29:25.580 That one is

00:29:26.780 What is happening

00:29:27.980 Mark vestibule

00:29:29.300 I mean

00:29:30.320 I mean that's

00:29:31.380 The last tack on there 0.95

00:29:34.300 The cum eater 1.00

00:29:34.900 I think that made me 0.88

00:29:36.880 Go to the 1.00

00:29:37.480 Dead male prostitute 1.00

00:29:38.200 100% 0.99

00:29:38.820 That shifted me

00:29:39.900 I was all in on 0.99

00:29:41.340 Eating the pristine cum 0.98

00:29:42.360 And everybody knowing 0.99

00:29:43.080 But if I have to

00:29:44.340 Legally have my name 0.97

00:29:45.700 As cum eater 0.72

00:29:46.200 Like I can't 0.98

00:29:46.940 No I would still

00:29:47.560 Ruins your whole life 0.99

00:29:48.840 With cum eater Russell 0.95

00:29:50.420 I would still eat 1.00

00:29:53.780 The pristine cum man 1.00

00:29:54.920 Because you're gonna 0.99

00:29:55.460 Call me cum eater 0.98

00:29:56.340 Like is that even 0.99

00:29:56.940 Worse than toad

00:29:57.940 Yes

00:29:59.460 Cum eater is way

00:30:00.540 Worse than toad

00:30:01.580 What are you talking about

00:30:02.440 I did not choose toad

00:30:03.360 You don't choose

00:30:03.840 Your own nickname

00:30:04.500 Oh that's true

00:30:06.060 This is a good 0.63

00:30:06.420 Is it first name cum

00:30:07.600 Last name eater

00:30:08.220 Or is it just

00:30:08.780 One name together

00:30:10.380 And so you can

00:30:11.440 Tell people it's 0.98

00:30:12.280 It's cum eater 0.99

00:30:13.180 My name's cum eater 0.99

00:30:14.300 Cum eater 0.99

00:30:17.500 You're Indian 0.99

00:30:18.280 That's worse now 1.00

00:30:18.960 Cum eater 0.99

00:30:19.480 Holy shit 1.00

00:30:20.600 The cum eater 1.00

00:30:21.780 If that was taken out 0.98

00:30:22.720 I think I would

00:30:23.640 Oh god

00:30:25.520 Mystery

00:30:26.220 See here's what

00:30:27.020 I'm stuck on 0.97

00:30:27.540 Mystery cum 0.97

00:30:28.460 Is what I'm stuck on 0.93

00:30:29.840 And then 0.80

00:30:30.260 Purified cum 0.93

00:30:31.700 From the cleanest

00:30:33.020 Source imaginable

00:30:33.940 Is purified cum

00:30:35.140 Just water

00:30:35.780 Like if you just

00:30:37.220 Like spun it

00:30:37.920 In a centrifuge

00:30:38.640 You could like

00:30:39.100 Separate the parts

00:30:39.940 It would turn like 0.99

00:30:40.920 Yellow shit 1.00

00:30:41.660 And then water 1.00

00:30:42.460 It's probably like

00:30:43.580 The cum that's been 0.52

00:30:44.320 Like stored in 0.97

00:30:45.060 Like a sperm bank

00:30:46.000 But it

00:30:47.720 Probably came from

00:30:48.600 Like the purest

00:30:49.400 Source imaginable

00:30:50.240 Like it came from

00:30:50.780 The most pure

00:30:51.580 Like it basically 0.97

00:30:52.700 Is God's cum

00:30:53.700 It's 0.50

00:30:54.880 It would be

00:30:55.600 Basically

00:30:56.280 I'm trying to think

00:30:57.180 It would be

00:30:57.760 Who would you say

00:30:59.360 Has the best genetics

00:31:01.320 For a man

00:31:02.200 I feel like 0.98

00:31:02.940 What purified cum 0.96

00:31:03.980 Would be like 0.99

00:31:04.460 Cum without the babies 0.99

00:31:05.560 You're bald 0.59

00:31:05.900 Tom Brady

00:31:06.940 You're bald

00:31:07.600 Like they took the babies 1.00

00:31:11.740 Out of the cum 0.99

00:31:12.380 The little sperm 0.99

00:31:13.300 And it's just the cum 0.99

00:31:14.640 Would that be 0.59

00:31:15.540 Purified cum? 0.85

00:31:16.220 You mean like 0.98

00:31:16.840 It's just the semen?

00:31:18.720 It's just the fluid

00:31:19.780 Yeah

00:31:20.520 I feel like

00:31:22.460 I feel like

00:31:22.860 Ryan Gosling's

00:31:23.600 Cum is the most 0.97

00:31:24.380 Pure and delicious

00:31:24.900 I was leaning

00:31:25.980 Towards Ryan Gosling

00:31:27.040 And so it would have

00:31:28.520 To be like 0.99

00:31:29.020 His cum 0.99

00:31:29.740 That is then 0.98

00:31:31.060 Like

00:31:31.460 It's gotta come

00:31:32.640 From like a male 0.99

00:31:33.440 Version

00:31:33.940 But it's after

00:31:34.420 But it's like

00:31:34.960 He just went through

00:31:35.740 Like a juice cleanse

00:31:36.780 Like he just

00:31:37.760 Juice cleansed

00:31:38.820 And then that's his

00:31:39.580 And then he just

00:31:40.180 And he comes out

00:31:40.800 And it's just

00:31:41.220 I don't know why

00:31:41.560 All these details matter

00:31:42.760 Because I'm not

00:31:43.340 I'm not legally

00:31:44.200 Changing my name 0.92

00:31:44.840 To cum eater

00:31:45.300 So I'm not doing that 0.97

00:31:46.180 It's

00:31:46.640 That is

00:31:49.020 Because I guess

00:31:50.180 I guess that's why

00:31:50.900 I made it too easy

00:31:51.420 He made it

00:31:51.880 He made it much harder

00:31:53.040 This is definitely

00:31:55.840 Yeah

00:31:56.060 He definitely

00:31:57.180 Makes things harder

00:31:58.280 Kulm yater

00:31:59.920 I think you gotta

00:32:01.940 You gotta go with 0.99

00:32:02.520 The pristine cum man 1.00

00:32:03.620 Ryan Dawson's cum 0.99

00:32:04.540 Is probably the mystery cum 1.00

00:32:05.560 You're sucking out of the dead 1.00

00:32:06.520 Yeah you're gonna have to 1.00

00:32:06.700 Change your name 0.99

00:32:07.200 That mystery cum 0.86

00:32:08.000 Dude 0.99

00:32:08.240 You could die

00:32:09.260 As a result of consuming that

00:32:10.620 Who even knows man

00:32:11.560 You're felching it

00:32:12.920 I'm prepared to take that risk

00:32:14.780 As long as I don't have to hear 0.99

00:32:15.840 People call me cum 0.98

00:32:16.360 Yeah I would not be able to 0.99

00:32:17.480 For the rest of my life

00:32:18.800 Yeah

00:32:19.340 I don't care what you call me

00:32:21.360 The rest of my life

00:32:22.020 I'm ready to roll the dice 0.93

00:32:23.360 Like mystery cum 0.92

00:32:24.640 Could be a good thing 0.95

00:32:25.660 It could be really bad

00:32:26.820 But it could be good too

00:32:27.400 What do you think

00:32:27.780 Is coming out of the 1.00

00:32:28.600 Dead male prostitutes asshole 1.00

00:32:30.440 That's true 1.00

00:32:30.840 Mystery cum could be anything 0.99

00:32:31.940 If you eat cum 1.00

00:32:32.800 Out of a dead prostitutes asshole 1.00

00:32:34.340 You might become a superhero 1.00

00:32:36.060 You don't know

00:32:36.940 That is a superhero origin story

00:32:39.340 I mean

00:32:39.780 Do you think the mystery cum

00:32:40.980 Is like 0.69

00:32:41.400 The mystery Laffy Taffy

00:32:42.940 Hey Eric July

00:32:43.940 Free idea for your next comic

00:32:45.580 Have at it

00:32:46.820 But that's

00:32:47.700 That's not great Clint

00:32:48.700 Because then that means

00:32:49.520 If you become a superhero 0.99

00:32:51.100 By eating the cum 1.00

00:32:51.920 Out of the prostitutes asshole 1.00

00:32:53.520 Then you're gonna be 1.00

00:32:54.900 Nicknamed the cum eater anyway 0.98

00:32:56.340 That's your origin story 0.99

00:32:57.840 I'm a cum eater 0.98

00:32:58.880 This actually kind of sounds like 0.97

00:33:00.660 This actually kind of sounds like

00:33:00.680 Some like

00:33:01.460 Erotic

00:33:02.880 Like adult

00:33:03.980 Like

00:33:05.500 Like adult

00:33:08.260 Comic book

00:33:09.980 Yeah that's what this sounds like

00:33:11.280 An adult gay comic book 1.00

00:33:12.760 Is like you eat cum 1.00

00:33:13.920 Out of 1.00

00:33:14.360 Some mystery man's asshole 1.00

00:33:16.460 Chase Oliver 1.00

00:33:17.000 And then you

00:33:17.460 There was a big collector 0.83

00:33:17.860 Of the cum eater 0.99

00:33:19.160 Alright we're making chase all of our jokes 0.63

00:33:20.840 That means we've gone on too long

00:33:22.140 We're out of here

00:33:22.960 Ladies and gentlemen

00:33:23.840 Thank you so much for tuning in

00:33:25.000 Tune in tomorrow night

00:33:26.020 At 9 o'clock sharp

00:33:27.660 Or something

00:33:28.500 With Owen Benjamin

00:33:30.100 It's gonna be a banger

00:33:30.540 Real quick

00:33:31.840 What topic should we discuss tomorrow

00:33:33.160 What we got

00:33:33.960 What do we got

00:33:34.420 Feeling

00:33:34.900 If we could not talk about Jews 0.99

00:33:36.740 It'd be awesome

00:33:37.460 I actually

00:33:38.280 Hurricane

00:33:38.980 Weather engineering

00:33:40.440 I don't know

00:33:40.840 He's been really big

00:33:41.860 On the weather engineering

00:33:42.680 I saw that today

00:33:43.760 It was actually funny

00:33:44.520 He posted a

00:33:45.300 Something on Instagram

00:33:46.800 And it was

00:33:47.560 An old top gear

00:33:48.860 With Jeremy Clarkson

00:33:50.120 And it was showing

00:33:50.800 An actual

00:33:51.420 Like

00:33:52.300 Huge

00:33:53.540 Machine

00:33:54.560 That pumps 0.95

00:33:55.400 Like water vapor

00:33:56.780 Into the air

00:33:57.340 And cause it to rain

00:33:58.400 Oh yeah

00:33:58.860 I remember that

00:33:59.720 And then there was

00:34:00.440 A

00:34:00.780 There was a fact check

00:34:02.660 Because Instagram

00:34:03.260 Will fact check you

00:34:04.180 And put like

00:34:04.800 It said

00:34:06.120 This is partially false

00:34:07.140 See fact check

00:34:08.060 And you click on it

00:34:09.160 And it says

00:34:09.860 No information available

00:34:11.000 Yeah

00:34:11.400 It literally said

00:34:12.400 No

00:34:12.620 It was like

00:34:13.320 Fact check

00:34:13.820 Partly false

00:34:15.200 You click on it

00:34:16.100 It said no information available

00:34:17.040 It was hilarious

00:34:17.600 Because it was

00:34:18.220 A real thing

00:34:19.440 They were actually

00:34:20.040 It was in like

00:34:20.780 Arkansas or something like that

00:34:21.980 Well to

00:34:22.600 To Top

00:34:23.520 To Josie

00:34:24.520 To Jose

00:34:25.000 If he's watching

00:34:25.620 Which he probably isn't

00:34:26.900 To Raven

00:34:27.700 To everybody

00:34:28.180 That's actually

00:34:28.800 In the path of the storm

00:34:30.000 I guess Cole might be

00:34:31.000 Who cares

00:34:31.400 He has a mobile home

00:34:32.200 It doesn't matter

00:34:32.760 Thank you guys for tuning in

00:34:34.500 If you could hit the like button

00:34:35.560 Subscribe

00:34:36.580 And share the show around

00:34:37.840 Maybe not this episode

00:34:39.140 But we've done really great episodes

00:34:40.500 In the past

00:34:40.960 As you're aware

00:34:41.460 And we have another

00:34:42.920 We have another banger tomorrow

00:34:44.300 I actually enjoyed this episode

00:34:45.460 But

00:34:45.740 It was fun

00:34:46.600 Sorry for the truncated version

00:34:48.220 Go Padres

00:34:49.180 We love you guys

00:34:49.860 We're out of here

00:34:50.160 Peace

00:34:50.380 Might be a little bit straight 0.95

00:34:51.980 It's the Tower Power Hour slut 1.00

00:34:55.100 To the Tower Power Hour bitch 1.00

00:34:56.760 No way Jose 0.99

00:34:57.840 Liberty Lockdown

00:34:59.420 To the Tower Power Hour 1.00

00:35:00.520 Flint bitch 1.00

00:35:01.300 Reed 0.99

00:35:02.460 Cole

00:35:05.120 Top Lobster

00:35:07.220 And Toad

00:35:08.160 Tower Gang

00:35:09.420 Tower Gang

00:35:09.920 Tower Gang

00:35:10.420 Tower Gang

00:35:10.980 Tower Gang

00:35:11.960 Tower Gang

00:35:12.460 Tower Gang

00:35:12.960 Liberty Lock is truth

00:35:14.300 Same with Lobster

00:35:15.940 Cole and Jose

00:35:16.900 Toad is sick

00:35:18.300 No way Jose 1.00

00:35:19.260 It's the Tower Power Hour slut 0.96

00:35:21.040 They made Dave Smith 0.95

00:35:21.880 All his

00:35:22.460 Tower Gang

00:35:22.960 Tower Gang

00:35:23.500 Tower Gang

00:35:24.360 Tower Gang

00:35:25.060 Tower Gang

00:35:25.500 Tower Gang

00:35:26.040 Tower Gang

00:35:26.560 Tower Gang

00:35:27.160 Tower Gang

00:35:27.980 They made Dave Smith

00:35:28.960 All his things

00:35:29.900 Tower Gang

00:35:30.480 Tower Gang

00:35:32.440 Tower Gang

00:35:32.960 Tower Gang

00:35:33.520 Tower Gang

00:35:34.040 Tower Gang

00:35:34.780 Tower Gang 0.98

00:35:37.640 It's so fucking hard 0.98

00:35:38.900 To line up those syllables 0.98

00:35:40.600 Tower Gang

00:35:41.400 Tower Gang

00:35:41.960 Tower Gang

00:35:42.500 Tower Gang

00:35:42.980 Tower Gang

00:35:43.820 Tower Gang

00:35:44.180 Tower Gang

00:35:44.660 Tower Gang

00:35:45.080 Tower Gang

00:35:46.680 That's all folks

00:35:48.160 We'll be right back.

Tower Gang - October 10, 2024

Ep 198 - Just the Tip

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Summary

Transcript