Tower Gang - Ep 200 - The Cumzone - Live at Brohemian Grove

00:00:00.000 We'll be right back.

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00:08:29.760 I don't know if I recorded it, but it was the greatest moment.

00:08:31.860 You know when you're in a moment and you don't record it because it's so beautiful?

00:08:34.860 I have it on my other iPad.

00:08:36.480 You do have it.

00:08:36.920 I don't know if I can't.

00:08:45.020 Yeah, it was like, yeah, it was like, I can't see the worst.

00:08:53.120 He's like, I can't see the worst.

00:08:54.120 they like do you have a stigmatism or something like yeah I got that too this 0.84

00:08:59.460 is not even a fucking joke this is something that really happened he goes 0.94

00:09:02.100 I got a stigmatism I never heard you say that before I had the instructor but I 0.96

00:09:05.580 had yeah they're like sure you're gonna be shooting over the berm aim aim lower

00:09:09.340 please did the slow violin start playing my mind the instructor leaned over and

00:09:16.140 he goes what the fuck's the matter with him and I just backed up a lot they 0.93

00:09:21.600 got the permit stripped immediately you can't hand a firearm to this suicidal 0.99

00:09:24.840 mania I'm sitting there with it with my iPad and I'm like recording and my arms

00:09:28.740 are shaking because it's like like the videos at a minute and a half three 1.00

00:09:31.500 minutes fire the fucking gun tone I don't care what you shoot at just fucking pull 0.99

00:09:36.600 the trigger and it wasn't like it was like you know like us five there it was 1.00

00:09:40.560 like there was like 300 like 400 people there waiting to shoot right and it

00:09:45.360 toaster just like yeah my make-a-wish was to shoot guns with the lectern dude

00:09:58.380 that's all I wanted honestly sounds like a make-a-wish for somebody like this 0.98

00:10:05.740 autistic kid in Alabama would be like I want to shoot guns with the lectern guy 0.91

00:10:09.340 guys speaking of make a make a life is built up to toad can we get to your

00:10:13.240 story yeah oh my god yes this is a mystery to me and I've been told that I

00:10:18.640 can't know what happened until this moment so I'm looking forward to Clint is 0.94

00:10:22.620 gonna lose his shit well all right so I arrived at the airport a couple days ago 0.97

00:10:29.380 Wednesday and I met I met up with mr. random over here so I'm thinking all right 0.99

00:10:35.320 I landed I got to get the top lobster's house that's what I got to do that is

00:10:38.680 that is my one mission in life right now I got to get to this man's house which

00:10:42.460 is also Cole's house apparently get me there go my dog so uh can I say what

00:10:52.300 what your situation was you would have picked me up otherwise but yeah this is

00:10:56.740 actually kind of funny too I haven't said tops license was suspended out of New

00:11:01.720 York for I don't know an unpaid ticket or something which also meant that he had a

00:11:05.260 suspended license here so I'm like okay so I know he's not gonna be able to

00:11:08.440 pick me up something and I'm I'm I'm incriminating him I'm gonna I'm gonna what

00:11:15.820 omit the names please oh no no no well your name because you're involved I don't

00:11:24.220 know what Mark's talking about Fran was like please don't use my name in the

00:11:26.920 story about me so I meet up with random I'm like okay so he's gonna come in

00:11:33.400 like an hour and a half later cool I'm gonna like get some food in here I'm 0.87

00:11:36.340 gonna chill I'm gonna meet up with him even though I know he's like a crazy

00:11:39.400 skit so he will so yeah I should have probably rethought all of this but I

00:11:45.040 think he's a good dude I'd never met him before but I mean I don't know I like to

00:11:49.120 see the good in everyone

00:11:50.580 like three times on the show all decided this is a crazy person so he

00:11:56.360 goes all right I'm gonna I'm gonna rent a car that's the decision I'm like okay

00:11:59.520 cool so then he's texting me like many many times dude figure out where the

00:12:03.780 rental cars are like over and over again I'm like dude I got it I know where the

00:12:06.840 rental cars are let him tell the story random as he remembers

00:12:10.580 let's do it so we go we're gonna rent a car and like a bunch of them were like

00:12:15.360 sorry you require a reservation for this you can't do it so basically we could not

00:12:19.140 rent a car out of the like agencies that were in the airport so okay so and this

00:12:23.400 is cheaper anyway so random was like all right we're gonna look at Clint just

00:12:26.640 become more he's he's like we're gonna go to one of those off-site rental places

00:12:31.020 okay so to avoid spending fifty or a hundred dollars he's like I will wait

00:12:39.540 around here for an hour and a half then travel with the schizophrenic person will

00:12:42.600 you more to play yeah I could have taken an uber for like a hundred seventy or two

00:12:46.440 hundred bucks I was gonna I was paying for it initially yes true so I'm like

00:12:51.000 cool I'm gonna I'm gonna I'm gonna I'm gonna get a ride with random so we have

00:12:58.120 to wait for this shuttle bus it's gonna take us to the off-site location where

00:13:01.320 they have the rental cars for this agency we're waiting there for like 40

00:13:05.400 minutes skip passes for what happens when you know no well we're waiting there for

00:13:08.580 40 minutes and what do you do to kill time 40 minutes when you're with mr.

00:13:12.000 random over here yeah he starts he starts telling me and then they're like

00:13:16.140 families around waiting for the waiter waiting for these other waiting for

00:13:19.500 the waiting for these other you know buses and whatever he starts telling me 0.98

00:13:24.540 about this time where this dude wanted to cock him and 0.94

00:13:31.560 and random imagine toad sitting there the entire time with his hand on his hip like 0.99

00:13:36.560 standing all weird backwards and shit so random was in the process of that and 0.96

00:13:41.240 this chick yeah this chick got on top of him and at some point she dosed him with 1.00

00:13:45.980 GHB and raped him dope so random is telling me the story but then he whips out his 0.78

00:13:55.640 phone and he goes dude I got it all taped I got it all on audio right now dude he 0.98

00:14:01.640 pulls this out and it's and it's and it's called something like like I am the bull or

00:14:06.560 person and there's and there's part one and part two and they total to like three hours

00:14:13.760 but you have your own raping taped and he's he starts to understand this correctly 0.99

00:14:18.980 starts playing your audio you're not a real gangster until you rape you tape your own raping 0.99

00:14:23.960 I didn't think I was gonna get raped that's the thing that's true yeah that often they were 1.00

00:14:28.220 they were smoking crack and doing coke and taking G my first don't pretend I'm also weren't smoking

00:14:34.580 crack they were smoking crack and doing coke but previously stated I didn't think I was gonna get 0.89

00:14:40.880 raped my first initials I oh they're gonna die because I was there for work but I was like this

00:14:46.880 is a situation I had to get out of like they're gonna die seems like a situation you created but

00:14:51.380 ladies ladies ladies ladies here hold on hold on ladies show of hands when you feel as if you're 0.94

00:14:56.240 about to be raped do you a leave or be take out your phone and start recording do more crack yeah 0.51

00:15:05.240 so he's playing the audio and at some point he's like hold on let me get to the good part let me let 0.99

00:15:11.420 get to the way wait wait wait wait all right well I mean the the the other the part that they think 0.98

00:15:18.620 you have a razor has hasn't even happened yet he's going to take a shit he doesn't need my or I mean 0.97

00:15:23.660 we could give him the mic Clint is old and he needed a potty so then well then we can fall apart we get 0.98

00:15:28.820 to the the agency and we're gonna rent the vehicle and random is up there and he's really prolonging the

00:15:34.640 process and there are other people in line he's talking to this woman and he's like half hitting on her but

00:15:39.500 half like going schizo and at one point he goes well actually I'm on drugs like looking right in 0.66

00:15:44.840 the face and he's trying to rent this vehicle and prove that he's like a competent drive what is

00:15:49.400 hitting on her and half going schizo what is that he goes I'm sorry I'm behaving this way but I just 0.99

00:15:56.360 think you're very beautiful no I said that after cuz she legitimately got worried like I can't rent to

00:16:03.660 someone on drugs and I was like I'm sorry I'm actually just find you really attractive that's

00:16:07.160 why I'm what did you do to worry her what made this woman look at you and go at first glance 1.00

00:16:12.500 I was going to know but once you did this I'm not that's what it was is we actually had an initial back and forth kind of cool like that for

00:16:20.660 whatever reason I just blurt out I'm on drugs and then she's like I can't rent and I go no you know what it is I'm actually just really

00:16:28.500 attracted to you so I'm nervous I'm sorry about that but that's why I said that so she's like okay we'll get with the car process and for the record I had the money to rent the car

00:16:36.500 I had my credit card I had a backup credit card and a debit card but because I was on tour in Texas and Pennsylvania and you okay hold on hold on hold on hold on this is toad story

00:16:47.360 yeah all right Mark's gonna get 10 minutes later go ahead so well I mean the other part of this which you guys didn't believe is that random kind of like failed in his

00:16:55.840 process and trying to hit on this woman so she wound up kind of liking me it was successful up until that point and you came in for the clothes 0.98

00:17:04.000 wasn't the mission just to rent a fucking car 0.96

00:17:06.400 yeah so this took this took like an hour probably and 0.99

00:17:09.760 it takes an hour

00:17:13.400 random goes to pay and

00:17:15.780 multiple of his cards get declined one card

00:17:19.240 decline next card decline sir your cards are all being declined so I don't think my mic is on

00:17:25.100 this is the first time I've actually believed an aspect of the story that your cards were declined

00:17:29.860 oh it is on all right no I paid my credit card and I had put money in my debit card

00:17:35.740 okay wait wait wait let's tell the story go ahead so then so of course I have to swoop in uh because I'm like well I'm the I'm the one who's financially stable here that's what I said to the fine young lady who was renting us the vehicle

00:17:47.860 I'm the I'm the financial stable which is why you're letting the meth head pick up the tab for the rental car

00:17:53.740 I paid for it but but in order in order to pay for it she said sir uh if you're gonna be the one to pay for it you have to be listed as an additional driver on this vehicle

00:18:02.740 so what's happening here is uh Toad has found himself in a peculiar situation where he has rented a car

00:18:07.740 co-signed rented a car with mark random did you write your name mark random on the card yes okay and has now found himself in a position of liability

00:18:17.740 I wrote mark random and then I had to say mark rod that government name but like I did write random because I don't know I was just in a weird vibe

00:18:25.360 things have been going it's wait so you actually this you're liable for this vehicle

00:18:29.400 yes yes and the funny thing is no no no no no no I wish you were on camera I mean this is so reckless it's unbelievable no no no hold on hold on

00:18:36.200 I posted on Instagram doing 120

00:18:39.200 no wait it gets better mark do not tell this part of the story so random no he got so he starts driving

00:18:47.820 we're driving you know random is driving we're driving on these four highways yeah I got some like metal on my

00:18:53.380 playlist so anyway random's driving a car I rented we were singing though we were singing real quick 0.84

00:18:58.160 we're cranking this shit up we're we're singing mud vane we're singing slip night hold on hold on 0.89

00:19:02.120 there's there's a there's a big thing you're missing toad was like I only need basic coverage on this 0.99

00:19:07.860 he was like I don't he opted out they're like they're like sir do you need bumper-to-bumper for 0.98

00:19:13.420 one dollar and he's like fuck listen the Jew I trust mark random the Jew and me came out again hold on now 0.99

00:19:19.740 now now I don't mean my uh circumcised car hold on hold on again so here we go guys for a hundred and 0.99

00:19:25.020 twenty dollar insurance which is what the cost of a ride to my house would have been but whatever we're

00:19:29.520 here it's like seven hours later yeah six hundred seven hundred and twenty dollars it was it's six

00:19:34.620 hundred plus the extra two hundred deposit but if but if the car gets returned I said that I said

00:19:49.380 hey man you're a gambling man so here we go so we're you are leaving out there's a legitimate detail of my

00:19:58.080 kindness if I said hey dude if anything I do makes you uncomfortable let me know and I'll be in the

00:20:02.200 right way like you got I like to lead the witness is it okay yeah please okay um you have my permission 0.93

00:20:10.920 when is your flight back to wherever the shit hole you're from tomorrow at 8 a.m. tomorrow at 8 a.m. 0.99

00:20:17.580 fucking psychotic thing to do when is your car rental return due back Tuesday 0.99

00:20:22.020 no Monday I booked it till I booked it till Tuesday because I have shows in Jacksonville 1.00

00:20:33.480 I love it wait wait wait wait you're leaving this car with him yeah this motherfucker's going to 0.98

00:20:41.820 Jacksonville he played him the crazy thing is before this rental thing happened he played him a video 1.00

00:20:48.060 of him being raped at a party with crack and cocaine and GHB in that video in that audio by the way I did

00:20:59.100 leave one thing out I'm like who are those voices in the background like are you are you like doing 0.93

00:21:02.760 this in front he's like you can hear them too the girl had a friend he goes no we're just watching porn

00:21:09.900 while they were putting it on I was being a good guest they're like you want to watch but they just put

00:21:15.840 it on so I'm what mark mark you know I like you but like can we just be honest for a second 0.96

00:21:19.800 you took out of his fucking mind to let you keep his rental car right you wouldn't do that for 0.91

00:21:25.740 yourself right I have 19 years of perfect driving which which of your personalities is perfect driving 1.00

00:21:36.660 I think they both go back and forth co-pilot and pilot so random then starts like he's going down the

00:21:43.980 highway like he said he's like exceeding a hundred miles an hour and you say dude you're this guy is

00:21:49.380 driving six hundred dollars worth he's exceeding a hundred miles an hour he's driving thirty seven

00:21:54.000 thousand dollars and simultaneously he's taking videos of like the Sunset I like this it's actually 0.79

00:22:14.520 really fun to watch the show and be in it this is fucking tremendous but I'm really great at this 0.69

00:22:20.520 where I asked him to hold the wheel while I douse Kratom because I take it straight I did that and I 1.00

00:22:26.220 took a shot of Kratom that was another part of it random at one point he was driving and well actually

00:22:31.620 let me get to this because this is the other crazy part he's telling me dude I'm gonna get you your

00:22:35.640 money back like I'm gonna pay you like for the rental and to do so he's saying leave names I'm gonna

00:22:41.400 get you the money it's gonna be in cash and it's gonna be in a brown paper bag because because it is

00:22:50.340 cool that it looks sketchy and he did it he did it so we're driving by the way I will also say he

00:22:58.200 stopped at like four different convenience stores in a row trying to get coke zero Oreo he's like sorry

00:23:03.300 dude I'm like addicted to soda right now I gotta just find all this so we're stopping at all these

00:23:08.400 different convenience stores so this whole trip is taking okay but so let me ask you a question

00:23:12.180 very very long how does this make you feel like right now as are you feeling anxiety or yeah but

00:23:19.800 you never say that's insane that's like treadmill I'm working out I was consistently saying dude if I'm

00:23:33.600 making you uncomfortable hold on let's let's recap so he is he is driving over a hundred miles per hour

00:23:39.840 he has already self-described that he is eating handfuls of kratom and he's simultaneously videoing

00:23:46.500 the sunset oh but and he's asking to do I make you feel uncomfortable no it gets a little wait wait wait

00:23:53.040 before this we have done at least like maybe I'd say seven hours of talking to just him before all this

00:23:59.580 happened so you've had seven hours plus this entire day and you go here's my credit card information you

00:24:04.800 know you can't trust him yes well then the other part of this is he's in the process of then trying

00:24:09.420 to get me that money and he's doing this he's doing he's doing voice to text while driving trying to get

00:24:15.780 this money from I don't know who this person is please leave the names out it sounds like some sketchy

00:24:21.600 source likely a drug supplier would be my guess and he is yeah he starts getting so angry that he's like

00:24:27.300 yelling to voice the test and then eventually it's like not working and he starts he part of the

00:24:33.000 details here were you actually having an argument with your drug dealer no it's all legal it's just

00:24:38.540 people I know it's just I'm cool that's the thing about you know what's beautiful is I didn't really

00:24:44.320 have family or friends but for me to make my way up in the world where I could literally be in

00:24:48.320 Florida be like yo I need a thousand and someone to be there that shows that you know hold on hold on

00:24:55.120 you get to $300 yeah and I still have 300 but I it's so awesome that I can get a thousand dollars

00:25:05.980 and give 300 that to toad so only only I'm doing math right now well it's the end of the trip one of

00:25:14.320 those 200 deposit what I what the most unnerving part of that slut and happy and it happened like 1.00

00:25:19.900 shortly before we arrived at tops house top and Cole's house fire random thank you thank you for

00:25:26.220 the random starts texting with both hands and he goes toad take the wheel so I'm steering the car from the

00:25:32.380 passenger seat I'm like that was that was the part that made me the most anxious I'm like this does

00:25:38.740 not feel good because I don't have control over the I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm a stand-up guy and man of 0.97

00:25:44.740 my word and I say hey man I'll get you back I will as soon as I can hey this is my fucking car let 0.91

00:25:54.040 me just drive yeah maybe I should have done that yes all right well leaving out all of them all right 0.96

00:26:00.220 at one point one of those convenience stores he got out to go into I could have just stolen the car

00:26:05.500 probably guys the guy who won't be stealing would be my car car here's the thing so the guy who runs

00:26:11.380 this venue does that professionally I recommended him to the airport professionally I gave you his number you

00:26:23.480 decided to do this yes but we we arrived at your house safely at what 7 30 or 8 at night and my plane had landed at

00:26:32.620 1 15 I made it in the afternoon to get a Nissan because I have Nissan's and I've driven them so I

00:26:38.800 made it up is it a fucking Ultima he picked his rental car no I picked it because I knew I was 0.80

00:26:43.740 comfortable driving that like with the Honda I was like I don't know the steering of it so I was like 0.98

00:26:48.280 can we get the cheaper one he's like no we're gonna get the Ultima no get the midsize no we're getting

00:26:53.980 early into this experience did red flags start going on he said right when we met I want to say

00:27:01.000 fucking instantly before my plane landed oh my god what did you do it did you do it just for the 0.95

00:27:10.060 story or were you just so whisked up in the moment did you feel like a hostage yeah I was getting 0.99

00:27:16.600 Stockholm syndrome holy shit so not to brag these stories I don't brag I don't know why there's a 0.86

00:27:23.800 right but that's just one day in my life imagine every day year after you are doing this to your 0.98

00:27:30.880 life that's true say this like my life is wild you have no you made all of the decisions in this moment 0.86

00:27:37.180 that fucking caused you to experience this no so did to relationships that didn't work out and 0.95

00:27:41.980 family didn't work out and things I'm making the best of a bad situation I'm the smile on the 0.99

00:27:46.600 crowd cloud that fate has that's what that is you know if I can't have family and love at least I can

00:27:52.780 have a brown bag of cash so there you go please stop speaking in poetry I don't understand this is

00:27:57.460 anyway this is totally upsetting slam poetry told stories finished I'd say I'm just gonna end a few

00:28:01.840 to before you fucking meander on yes how'd you take a interesting fun story and make it long and 0.97

00:28:08.920 stupid I know I hate myself for asking you to tell this story this is like it but it's such a great 0.99

00:28:13.460 story it's like a really yeah that's that's what I do don't you do great I'm fucking with 1.00

00:28:18.140 you it's okay well I I dude I just tell like really long sagas dude I'm like I'm like I'm like a modern-day 0.88

00:28:25.100 Homer can you just set the record straight that when I was at your house I was very courteous with

00:28:34.760 manners I was helping set the table I was asking if anyone needed anything when your kids were playing

00:28:39.560 I was playing game I was helping the dog and if there was a thing I was playing with the puppet

00:28:48.740 animals so I gave you a safe word I pulled out when you asked me to on the other hand Clint toad sitting

00:28:55.520 right next to my mother eating my mom's lasagna called her mama heavies honestly the nuts gangster 0.95

00:29:02.360 thing this is the weird juxtaposition that I don't understand polar toad did that toad

00:29:07.340 I'm not saying the nickname is wrong I'm saying that it's wild to say it to your face the audacity and

00:29:22.520 he didn't even see it as like a like a wild move he's just addressing her it's like pass the salt

00:29:29.240 please this is purely mark right now it's not random please validate that I was a great house

00:29:34.580 guest with your yes you were fine all right Mike listen sorry give it up for my great

00:29:38.240 back on the stage we're gonna do five because we're gonna move to the next thing we actually 0.98

00:29:43.820 have segments on the show but fucking toad man the the disrespect well not even the disrespect top 0.98

00:29:50.000 it's the juxtaposition of being willing to call your mom mama heavy to her face and then to not tell 0.99

00:29:55.760 a man to stop doing 130 on the fucking highway in a car that doesn't belong to him it's a term of 0.98

00:30:00.620 respect it's a term of endearment endearment I would agree if you call his dad mr. mama 0.99

00:30:04.500 heavy's mr. heavy's fucking a man yeah honestly in a world where crazy shit happens I mean in 0.99

00:30:17.640 fairness I didn't deny well now my mice I did deny that they eat the kids afterwards I think that's 1.00

00:30:24.060 that's that's a bitch too far what the fuck is this oh you want to scare a kid as randoms create 1.00

00:30:28.800 them absorb their blood sure who doesn't no we don't want to watch you get raped mark random 1.00

00:30:35.820 security the fuck did he really just offer to show his porn yeah I mean we do have a fucking monitor 1.00

00:30:43.980 behind actually we do have we're gonna show porn we are gonna show some porn we are yeah sorry we 1.00

00:30:48.660 have to do it before we get into October can we find out if the person that we are judging tonight

00:30:53.880 is actually in the building what's his name no Marshall banana if you're here raise your hand very

00:31:00.180 appropriate look we have to get through this fine lady right here the racist from last night she she 1.00

00:31:08.400 wanted to advance notice before we put cocks on the screen I think we should have any cocks on the 1.00

00:31:15.960 screen at some point so if you are squeamish no you know take a look into the audience right now 0.98

00:31:21.120 everybody look at that cock down if you will look at each one of these people's eyes I don't know how

00:31:24.480 many people some some watch the show and even the ones that do watch the show I'm looking at you 0.99

00:31:27.600 there's still a look of like up like upset they're like they're like man this sucks I see

00:31:33.720 respectable people in this audience we have to do this thing though you understand this is something

00:31:38.520 that we have to do well you have to hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on she's saying that having 0.98

00:31:44.760 how many are there uh five minutes around and John gentlemen's cocks is gay it's not gay okay it's 1.00

00:31:51.360 fucking logistical it's military I've officially heard everything this is fucking unbelievable do you 1.00

00:31:57.240 think it's gay if you think it's gay raise your hand it's like it's not even possible to be straight 1.00

00:32:00.360 hey hey if it's not gay to judge your homies cock raise your hand Omar raise your hand okay what the 1.00

00:32:08.220 fuck are the rest of you guys doing in the middle are you first sitting tentative bitches you this is 1.00

00:32:15.540 why best sitters this is why we can't get good polls they're like hey hey do you want this black 1.00

00:32:20.820 bitch or do you want this awesome how am I supposed to believe you if you're too afraid to vote I'm 0.98

00:32:25.140 undecided diddly a scrum diddly-umptious I would imagine is this is a real fan right here she knows 0.99

00:32:32.040 our ratings okay David if you'd please stand up you could show them this is a scrum diddly-umptious 0.99

00:32:36.480 David is the winner I am the winner of the original what the fuck was that oh that's my phone don't 0.98

00:32:40.680 worry about it uh the original and this is my cocktober shirt and uh yes I imagine what that means 0.98

00:32:47.220 since Top Lobster had to gaze upon and draw my cock straight up draw which is not a it's not a slow 0.99

00:32:54.360 task right it's not AI no wait we can do a better prize this time don't touch don't jerk off the 0.99

00:33:00.240 little cock of my shirt uh but now Top this is an annual thing once a year Top has to stare into the 0.99

00:33:07.080 abyss no let's try to draw no what's an annual thing is cocktober because October happens all the 0.98

00:33:13.080 time and it's on the cock what's not an annual thing is that I draw it I did it what are you 0.80

00:33:19.020 gonna give him what are you gonna give him I know before before before it was top who had to do lifelike 0.98

00:33:25.980 renditions of cocks which made a life partnership between he and David so that's actually gay when 1.00

00:33:35.100 you draw your friends dick and then you become a business partner with him then you're gay that's how 1.00

00:33:39.540 works you ever just see a cock and go I want to go into business with that cock some people do 1.00

00:33:43.440 cocaine and they go that's how they do it in Japan I I do a drawing I'm like you want to start a 0.99

00:33:47.400 business like yeah let's fucking start a business it depends on the you know okay I think we can

00:33:52.680 think of a better prize let's let's give it some time to cook because this is a little uh it's 0.92

00:33:57.000 rambunctious of us to say this well what's funny is like you're like I don't think it's a good prize

00:34:00.600 like we all have agreed it's a great prize and you're just like I don't think so and I do the drawing so

00:34:06.900 luckily I don't think it's a good idea yeah well we also don't know who the winner is gonna be yet

00:34:11.760 because this is our fourth submission and we have the the other three the first one we deemed was

00:34:16.260 pretty sad so it was likely not gonna win number two I really hyped up I really hyped it up and you

00:34:22.620 guys were very disappointed it was fine it was a hanger dude for anybody that doesn't know oh is that

00:34:27.840 the one that I saw look at this guy in the corner just nodding silently hold on so that doesn't know like

00:34:33.300 the audience has not seen any of these days you guys are gonna talk today only we have seen the

00:34:38.880 dicks and so the audience is like we're just taking our word for it that these are like good or bad we

00:34:43.980 know what we're doing now we're not going to show the rumble audience because we're not going to get

00:34:47.800 uh oh no yeah we're gonna have to which reminds me to our camera uh operators you're gonna have to pan 0.93

00:34:53.160 up so that we don't see cock is it up or down on rumble we're gonna show cock to you guys but not to 0.99

00:34:58.920 rumble because that's a respectable organization you guys got cape and cocks cape and cock right 0.99

00:35:04.500 you know it'd be you know it'd be great if we pan down but then like they can't see the cocks here 1.00

00:35:08.340 but then we all take our cocks out on another table oh fucking gotcha and we fucking rochambo 1.00

00:35:13.500 didn't see that coming did you rochambo dick watch thing right like what time is it right 1.00

00:35:17.500 oh yeah you put it over here exactly or the goat anybody remember the goat yeah yeah it's it's about 0.99

00:35:23.640 waiting 80 cock baby okay so so yes all right so um we got this thing going on and no one i saw 0.58

00:35:32.740 briefly because i had to put it on here right uh but for you i want you to describe it to us in 0.94

00:35:37.680 excruciating oh yeah that's good yeah and i want you to draw this like i tell you every week every 0.98

00:35:42.040 week that we do this i want you to draw this cock with your words paint it with your tongue to these 0.99

00:35:47.300 people so that they can imagine in their head because it's also fun that we all get to see it after 0.98

00:35:51.780 because you get to see the delusion that is towed right that's true so and by the way uh submission

00:35:56.480 number three was like just kind of a weird like finnish boner like i don't know what to say about

00:36:01.820 i saw that one that was a boner all right so this is number four uh this now you're i might be hyping

00:36:08.600 this up too much again but this one splashes dude this this one this is a splash zone this is the wildest

00:36:14.960 if you're within the first two front rows you could get splashed through come on dude this is 0.99

00:36:20.700 the like the wildest dick that i've received so far the wildest dick that's an insane way to 0.99

00:36:27.080 describe it i wish we had i wish we had the live chat because it's not a domesticated dick it is the 0.99

00:36:32.060 wildest of dicks hold on hold on hold on hold on guys because all right we're missing something like 0.98

00:36:37.040 no i mean the live chat in front of us because i'm thinking splash in the front row shamu there's got to be 1.00

00:36:41.740 some fucking cock shamu things that it's it's it's do it in the live the cum zone what's what's 0.99

00:36:47.760 what's funny well what's funny is that um zone we we set this all up and we were just like hey yeah 0.99

00:36:53.160 send your submissions to to toad and it was just like it was just us making up like a thing like a 0.98

00:36:59.200 scenario that people have to send their dicks i think what it was is that toad has to look at dicks 0.97

00:37:02.980 and we're like this is hilarious yeah but you had to look at mine toad was suicidal at that point this 0.98

00:37:07.060 was like a year ago and we were like we gotta give this guy something to do how do we cheer him up

00:37:10.800 we literally brought him back from the brink of death by staring at cocks i need my autism to be 0.99

00:37:16.640 focused on something other than ways to murder myself so okay now he just judges cocks all day 0.99

00:37:22.700 describe okay so this cock yeah so i will say you guys think i'm kidding he literally saved his life 0.99

00:37:28.440 with dicks i am not exaggerating when i say that this one redefines scrumdiddly umptious 0.99

00:37:33.900 well it's crazy now let me paint a picture for you because this is this is a work of 0.96

00:37:39.740 art now uh wait before you do can the audience please close your eyes and imagine if you will

00:37:47.580 no no no i just think it's fair because you know we're trying to imagine it oh all right 0.95

00:37:51.420 you're painting a picture you're painting a picture in their minds yeah i'm like the bob ross of dicks 0.72

00:37:56.380 so so imagine if you will oh that's a precious little bush there precious little bush that's a twitter 0.98

00:38:03.500 profile like bob ross of dicks okay first of all now think about you have uh think about a nice uh 0.77

00:38:12.060 uh hot dog like a nice a nice looking frank weird emphasis dude and hot dog and it and it is in a 0.93

00:38:18.700 bun and it's covered in ketchup it's it's got a decent is this a metaphor wait is this yeah what's

00:38:24.700 imagine now you're hungry you're talking about pedophilia no now imagine that next to that hot dog 0.99

00:38:30.300 you have a dick a nice all natural 100 beef wiener that that is larger than the hot dog next to it is 0.98

00:38:40.540 also in a bun and has mustard a nice healthy dose of mustard on that thing right but now you're being 0.99

00:38:47.820 a little artistic about it so you're describing food and you're saying scrum diddly upstairs that's

00:38:50.780 why this wins okay and this thing i will tell you and imagine that it is like it's such a fine looking

00:38:56.140 hot dog you know and a lot it's a jumbo hot dog and and that it's a jumbo which is which why are 0.51

00:39:03.660 there two we're only judging one dick why are there two are we meant to not are they hot dogs i don't 0.94

00:39:07.900 understand this is a hot dog this thing would give joey chestnut problems man this thing is wild 0.99

00:39:14.940 okay okay okay okay come on what about okay can we let's ask some questions pubes oh pubes are there 0.55

00:39:21.020 pubes he's gonna say he doesn't remember i don't remember he's like all i can remember is sauerkraut

00:39:26.940 the onions i think he's manscaped i think but i think maybe the pubes could have been like a little

00:39:33.420 bit distracted by the con a little bit of garnish i don't know i will say it is a good thing to know 0.98

00:39:40.140 like we needed some relish if you asked a woman like how good was my cock and you're like and she's 1.00

00:39:45.580 like oh it's pretty good like you remember me having pubes and she's like no i'm like okay i have a great 0.99

00:39:49.260 cock yeah that's true that's that a lot okay that's a great point that's a great point do any of your 0.97

00:39:53.100 girlfriends know that you have pubes or not like they would never know i've never never trimmed

00:39:57.020 once they've never never they've never been marked well this into a woman up to my pubes never once 0.98

00:40:02.220 so big uh with me with me they would know because you can't find it in there if i have pubes that

00:40:06.780 are too long okay okay what about uh what about veins is it veiny yeah is it a veiny member well you 0.98

00:40:13.580 haven't even said if it's circumcised well we're fucking kidding we're building suspense cool oh sorry 0.99

00:40:18.540 i usually started i know the tippy top of dicks was circumcision you started the tip i don't know 0.99

00:40:23.580 the answer to this question because i was just i was just thinking i'm going to be like what do you 0.99

00:40:27.180 know about this dick toad i was just thinking he's the worst dick i was i was going to be ordering 0.99

00:40:32.620 i was going to be ordering one of these things up at the ballpark you're not the bob ross of dicks 1.00

00:40:36.300 you're my two-year-old of dicks wow that's a theme of this you can't describe a dick for 1.00

00:40:42.060 shit oh my god get off the show learn how to describe a dick wait i'm a two-year-old of dicks 1.00

00:40:47.500 so that means that i'm a pedophile victim okay okay get focused get focused get focused guys yeah 1.00

00:40:52.780 let's try this then because i'm asking questions and you don't have any answers what do you remember 0.99

00:40:57.500 about the dick that made it so fantastic he remembers the hot dog stuff right you're describing 0.86

00:41:01.980 ballpark frank so you know that every like life event that i have i refer to back with because i 0.98

00:41:10.140 remember what i was eating that day yeah he's he has described this before it's true yeah what'd you

00:41:15.420 what'd you have on 9-11 burger king there you go what exactly did you order at burger king on 9-11

00:41:22.380 i think it was uh it was two double cheeseburgers uh six piece chicken nugget medium fried okay wait

00:41:28.940 wait wait this is his very specific autism yes only on catastrophic catastrophic memories does he

00:41:35.660 remember what he ate guys it's a totally useless gift but he has it nonetheless what did you eat when

00:41:39.580 you were in the car with random hold on oh good question nothing he's like i don't want to

00:41:45.260 remember this i'll abstain listen audience uh i feel like he's painted an adequate enough picture and

00:41:50.220 honestly i can't listen to him talk much longer uh are you guys ready to see this because i can feel 0.98

00:41:55.420 oh we're getting we're getting kicked off this he's like are you showing cock in my establishment 0.99

00:42:00.220 what we're not allowed to do it what no we'll stretch it oh we'll stretch it out just a little 1.00

00:42:12.460 bit the cock the cock okay we're gonna pull the foreskin over this guy stretched it out quite a bit 1.00

00:42:18.140 what is going on back to she's dressed as poison i've okay but we're getting distracted here all 0.99

00:42:21.980 right let's let's let's move on to the car i know it's not it's not like i want it that's 1.00

00:42:26.860 yeah my inclination is we want the dick yeah we want the dick we want the dick are we going to show 1.00

00:42:34.380 the dick show the dick if you want to see the dick i'm starting to think this game is kind of gay 1.00

00:42:38.940 i don't like it i don't know no no you're right it's not you're right are we i mean i'm so no he 1.00

00:42:45.340 already spoke enough do you guys think you know what it looks like we don't know at this point

00:42:49.340 there's two hot dogs what the did that have to do with anything yeah one with ketchup one with 0.98

00:42:55.980 mustard one slightly larger like what the was that metaphor i hope to god there's mustard on this penis 0.97

00:43:02.860 he wasn't lying if there is mustard mustard on it yeah if there's mustard i take it back you've done 0.95

00:43:07.820 a great job okay it'd be really funny if this is not even hot dog related at all so i'm going to pull

00:43:15.100 it up on the screen let's go turn around guys i relish this by the way oh my god

00:43:22.700 oh my god there was pubes what a reveal congratulations marshall banana uh on the hot dog 0.99

00:43:33.580 i guess what a wonderful penis which i can see now why he doesn't remember the fucking veins or the 1.00

00:43:41.820 bush or the bush it's immemorable which is the dick i just see two delicious hot dogs they're the same 1.00

00:43:47.660 color neither one of them are cooked his dick looks exactly like a hot dog i am wild i am honored to 1.00

00:43:54.460 relinquish the crown it's like his dick was in a hot dog factory to a gentleman of cock uh such as 0.99

00:44:02.380 marshall banana incredible so he is circumcised did we have we confirmed this is actually a viewer of our 1.00

00:44:09.820 show that submitted this like yeah that's my that's marshall he said he didn't just google 1.00

00:44:13.660 dick in a hot dog bun haha that's a great dick maybe no that's a great dick can someone in the 1.00

00:44:19.740 audience google dick in a hot dog banana no no no i i wouldn't do that to us would he would he no no 1.00

00:44:25.740 these guys are on the up and up he's a respectable gentleman oh god all i can imagine is like you 0.99

00:44:32.220 know i don't know what i don't know what this guy's like i don't know what this guy's relationship like

00:44:37.260 like situation is but i can just imagine i don't know how close they are i'm sorry i'm sorry to all you

00:44:41.980 people but this is what we apologize no this is what we go through all the time as we talk about 0.97

00:44:46.780 it this dick is still up and it's just like it's like in your face and you're you're trying to now 0.98

00:44:51.340 i'm trying to have a conversation with some friends but i'm like my other people paid good money to come 0.99

00:44:55.340 see cock literally i'm gonna take it off the screen that's a good question no leave the cock on the 0.99

00:45:02.860 screen no no take it down take it down so i'm gonna need your final rating on a uh on a one 0.99

00:45:07.820 discrumpedly umptious hold on hold on hold on i do i don't know what this guy's like really

00:45:12.860 relationship situation is i can just imagine him like he just made a hot dog and then like he gets

00:45:17.500 the mustard out and his wife's like what are you doing and he's like going to the bathroom dude you 1.00

00:45:20.780 don't even like mustard marsha banana he's just like all i'm like what shut up 0.99

00:45:26.620 i'm google reverse image searching and there are no results so i think i think it's a real dick 1.00

00:45:30.860 fuck yeah god bless why are you showing us porn i'm gonna take it off we've got a respectable dick 1.00

00:45:35.740 on this oh all i know about this guy is he is a blast to party with oh my god he's got a toad toad 1.00

00:45:41.820 on a scale of one to scrum diddly umptious please your score sir like i said this one surpasses

00:45:47.020 scrum diddly umptious for me this is yeah this is on a totally new scale we're gonna have to create

00:45:51.740 a new scale delicioso this is why it does it for toad because toad is a pun guy and he likes the pun of

00:45:57.740 scrum diddly umptious and then it's a bigger stuff it's almost unfair like he knows this this

00:46:02.780 audience member knows this host so intimately that he's gamed this system that's true and it plays

00:46:07.820 into he's taken to food weenie roast is the name of the game too yeah toad's weenie roast so he's

00:46:13.260 he's going all out this guy probably could have got you to rent a car for him this is uh

00:46:19.660 yeah more than that i'm i'm not uh that was clint that was me that was me that was clint

00:46:27.020 as the resident as the resident heterosexual i know exactly how to name i'm going with a new one 0.98

00:46:31.580 of this scales of dick measurements this stick is uh wildly wienerific oh why are we terrific i am so 0.97

00:46:39.180 sorry to the audience that we did that i just like that we had people pay to travel dress in cloaks 0.99

00:46:48.860 to come and see a mustard covered penis this is a american dream right here ladies and gentlemen this is 0.99

00:46:56.460 what we're bringing to you this is an american dick presentation too man this is a baseball 1.00

00:47:02.140 reference it's a ballpark we the american pastime man it's putting your dick in a hot dog bun 1.00

00:47:06.300 you know what the the owner of the venue so confused because yesterday we kept saying that 0.99

00:47:09.980 he was bringing drag queens on the stage and we said why are you bringing trannies and he's like 1.00

00:47:13.500 these guys are homophobic and weird next thing you know they're on stage presenting gong you 0.88

00:47:17.980 read us all wrong sir you thought you you don't know who the we are you're hiding 1.00

00:47:23.180 from our gay feelings alex stop bringing them back up to us 0.99

00:47:31.180 you guys just entirely totally if you had to liken his uh his penis to a brand a care bear no no no which 0.99

00:47:38.620 care bear would it be no to a brand of hot dogs because obviously he was trying to do that like 0.99

00:47:45.740 you would you say to me it's a hebrew national it's like it's very nice yeah hebrew national 0.65

00:47:51.900 maybe they're not like thick enough though like we're showing cock right this is on the side he 0.81

00:47:57.340 just goes what the is wrong with you you guys set the bar high we just do it a little bit more 0.67

00:48:03.580 straight we're doing prop comedy they went they talked for an hour like oh no rtc's go too good for 0.96

00:48:09.260 cock i think it's uh it's more of a nathan you want to come on grab a mic give royce give royce 0.94

00:48:15.420 a white rice hey hey david get the out of here i'm getting out of here gladly gladly bowing out

00:48:21.100 thank you thank you crushing this is what david says crushing i give david a round of 0.96

00:48:25.900 never said rotc wasn't fine with cock okay so let's let's start that okay wait are we are we 0.93

00:48:34.380 guys hold on hold on top are we crowning a victor for this yeah we do need to announce a winner david 0.99

00:48:40.220 should get a vote did you see the dick though royce yeah bro that's walking outside i want to go 0.83

00:48:44.220 smoke a joint you want to see it again no i have the capability i go i walk outside i go to merch 0.99

00:48:50.860 they go they just put a dick on the screen and he goes yeah isn't that cool i guess i guess it's cool 0.97

00:48:59.420 we're the next generation baby oh my god we're literal dick joe comics royce uh like just never 0.99

00:49:06.380 changed there right it's still about dick jokes and farts always trying to be esoteric stuff it's like 1.00

00:49:11.420 fucking nope that's been later again royce royce going back to basics can you ballpark how many dicks 0.99

00:49:17.100 you've seen in your life ballpark is a great uh sorry that's the hot dog that i was thinking of 0.99

00:49:24.540 yeah against my will or on purpose because that's really fully comprehensive okay alternative porn count 0.98

00:49:31.340 yes it's fully comprehensive oh man just ballpark how are we grading by color no just fucking just 0.99

00:49:38.540 every cumulative like cumulative penises do i have to do it in inches yeah if you give us an inch 0.99

00:49:44.380 well then it's crocs across america i've seen a lot of dicks dude well that's a good point do you 0.99

00:49:51.420 think we've seen enough dicks that if you line them up you know tip to end that you could actually go 0.99

00:49:55.820 across the entire country i don't i clear my fucking browsing history i couldn't tell you dude i haven't 0.98

00:50:01.980 kept score dude what's funny is like uh people are like why is america getting so like going so much 0.99

00:50:07.660 downhill it's like i think we're just seeing so much more dick dick than before like like if you're 0.99

00:50:13.100 like if you live in the 40s you probably saw three dicks in your life your dad like your grandmother 1.00

00:50:22.540 you saw your dad's and your uncle's twice very memorably twice but then like and then like you get into 0.98

00:50:29.580 like the 90s the internet comes out it's like all of a sudden i'm seeing millions of dicks yeah just

00:50:34.220 like what were you searching for that i was getting i was getting mortal combat fatality codes what are 0.94

00:50:40.940 we doing i was searching for millions of dicks well that makes sense that makes sense i gotta see what 0.99

00:50:46.460 i'm up against you know what i'm saying yeah this is did you write you have a game genie too

00:50:51.820 a game oh that's like old school choice did you have a game genie you're my age yeah i 0.98

00:50:55.260 fucking had a game genie am i gonna beat games normal hell yeah bro yeah i'm a spick bro i cheat 0.97

00:51:00.300 the best i can get out of here royce i was gonna ask you if you steal from walmart yes i still i miss 0.99

00:51:06.140 spick i steal from walmart if walmart didn't want me to steal they'd have a cashier instead of self

00:51:11.660 check out right anybody else i will pay for the dog food not for the hdmi cord that's underneath it

00:51:17.580 hey but by show of that's mine hold on hold on by show of hands how many of your wives steal from walmart 1.00

00:51:22.300 Wives? 0.70

00:51:23.300 Yeah, my wife.

00:51:24.300 My wife won't go to Walmart. 1.00

00:51:25.300 Do you think any of these people are married?

00:51:26.300 Come on.

00:51:27.300 Okay, just you?

00:51:28.300 No, no, no.

00:51:29.300 Yeah, me and Todd.

00:51:30.300 Okay, let me figure.

00:51:31.300 How many of your body pillows steal from Walmart?

00:51:35.300 That's how it raises their hand.

00:51:37.300 Because, like, literally it was funny because my wife-

00:51:39.300 Your waifu body pillow.

00:51:40.300 My wife comes home and she's like, to lessen the blow of when she goes out, she's going

00:51:45.300 shopping, and she's lessened the blow to me and she goes, like, I got all this stuff.

00:51:49.300 She's like, but I only bought, like, 50% of it.

00:51:52.300 I'm like, Jesus.

00:51:53.300 It's a good ratio.

00:51:54.300 She's like, and she steals a lot. 1.00

00:51:56.300 So she's only half Mexican? 0.80

00:51:58.300 I don't know.

00:51:59.300 She's fully white. 0.75

00:52:00.300 But does she just take stuff? 1.00

00:52:02.300 She does the whole, like-

00:52:04.300 Tastefully.

00:52:05.300 She'll stack, like, two things.

00:52:06.300 Are you married to a Winona Ryder? 0.79

00:52:08.300 She stacks- 0.54

00:52:10.300 Does she do it from the thrill? 0.91

00:52:12.300 I feel like it's for the thrill, right?

00:52:13.300 No, no.

00:52:14.300 It's just-

00:52:15.300 Have you seen Inflation, dude?

00:52:16.300 No.

00:52:17.300 She's like, I earned this. 1.00

00:52:19.300 Like, this is not, like, fuck Biden. 0.99

00:52:21.300 That doesn't mean it's not thrilling, additionally. 0.99

00:52:23.300 Oh, no, no, no.

00:52:24.300 It's for the thrill.

00:52:25.300 I mean, like, there's a little bit of the thrill.

00:52:26.300 But she does the whole, like, stack this on top of this and then just scan the bottom 0.91

00:52:30.300 one.

00:52:31.300 What kind of stuff is she stealing? 1.00

00:52:33.300 Like, what kind of stuff?

00:52:34.300 I mean, like-

00:52:35.300 Like what?

00:52:36.300 What do you steal?

00:52:37.300 And like food and-

00:52:38.300 Cosmetics are pretty expensive, man.

00:52:39.300 Yeah, and like a lube, you know?

00:52:41.300 She's trying to get all that stuff. 0.99

00:52:42.300 Cosmetics are, like, kind of the perfect item to steal, because I'm not telling you to

00:52:45.300 do that, but they're, like, really small and they're expensive, so it's pretty good.

00:52:49.300 Yeah, just-

00:52:50.300 Yeah, good idea.

00:52:51.300 I like to imagine that Toad just steals specifically.

00:52:54.300 Cosmetics. 1.00

00:52:55.300 And he puts it on in the mirror and goes, you're fucking disgusting. 1.00

00:52:59.300 No, but I- 1.00

00:53:00.300 Why did you steal this?

00:53:01.300 You could afford it. 1.00

00:53:02.300 You're disgusting. 0.99

00:53:03.300 I knew a lady who stole a lot of cosmetics, though, back in the day. 1.00

00:53:07.300 Was it your mother?

00:53:08.300 Not my mother.

00:53:09.300 I was actually gonna ask you, like, I don't have any clue what cosmetics cost. 0.99

00:53:13.300 How the fuck do you know? 0.92

00:53:14.300 Well, I mean, I have a wife, so I know they're expensive. 0.99

00:53:16.300 Yeah, it's expensive, but I don't know.

00:53:17.300 He's never touched a woman.

00:53:20.300 He should never know.

00:53:21.300 Yeah, like, the only reason he would know is if he's literally doing what you described.

00:53:25.300 Yes.

00:53:26.300 I'd like to imagine Toad just, like, perusing the cosmetics aisle with, like, hand on hip,

00:53:30.300 like, eh, maybe they didn't raise their prices. 0.95

00:53:33.300 Inflation's really fucking Colleen this week. 0.95

00:53:36.300 No. 0.98

00:53:37.300 No.

00:53:38.300 No.

00:53:39.300 He puts some on his hand.

00:53:40.300 A red blush?

00:53:41.300 He puts his hand and goes, no, that's gonna wash me out.

00:53:45.300 It's gonna wash me out.

00:53:46.300 You got five minutes, man.

00:53:48.300 All right, Toad, we're almost out of time.

00:53:50.300 I'm gonna need you to crown a winner of Coctober, which will, I might add, unseat Raven from his throne.

00:53:58.300 Well, Raven is still the champion of 2023, though. 0.99

00:54:01.300 Do you have the other penises on? 0.99

00:54:04.300 Oh, no, I don't. 1.00

00:54:05.300 Ah, damn. 1.00

00:54:06.300 That sucks. 1.00

00:54:07.300 I'm telling you, I wish you could see, because Toad, Toad has a, Toad has this, like, uh, 0.99

00:54:12.300 this weird, like, thing where he likes to overhype dicks. 0.83

00:54:15.300 I think it's just, like, it's, like... 0.98

00:54:16.300 I swear to God.

00:54:17.300 I wish... 1.00

00:54:18.300 I thought he was gonna say, Toad has a weird penis. 1.00

00:54:20.300 And... 1.00

00:54:21.300 Oh, no, he does.

00:54:22.300 Well, Royce, to tell you the truth.

00:54:24.300 How are you, how are you half-circumcised?

00:54:26.300 No, no.

00:54:27.300 Did he change his mind?

00:54:28.300 My parents did it to me when I was three, so it was kind of...

00:54:30.300 It's true.

00:54:31.300 Royce is so much worse than that.

00:54:32.300 It wasn't great. 1.00

00:54:33.300 Oh, fuck. 1.00

00:54:34.300 When you were three? 1.00

00:54:35.300 You were...

00:54:36.300 Do they hate you?

00:54:37.300 Like...

00:54:38.300 This guy's...

00:54:39.300 I want him to remember.

00:54:40.300 I want him to remember. 1.00

00:54:41.300 It's not if I cut your dick off. 1.00

00:54:42.300 I'm sorry. 1.00

00:54:43.300 I want him to remember. 0.99

00:54:45.300 Yo, Front Row says, hey, let's see the reigning champion's dick. 1.00

00:54:48.300 He's just, like, literally asking to see David's dick. 1.00

00:54:51.300 He's right there. 1.00

00:54:52.300 David's right there. 0.99

00:54:53.300 You can just, you can just go fucking look, dude. 0.99

00:54:56.300 Calm down. 0.99

00:54:57.300 Come on, dude.

00:54:58.300 Commit a felony for us. 0.99

00:54:59.300 It'll be fucking hilarious. 0.98

00:55:00.300 I'm sure for $2, he'll show you after the show. 0.93

00:55:02.300 He's got a picture of it on his shirt right now.

00:55:04.300 You can see it.

00:55:05.300 His house was destroyed by the hurricane.

00:55:07.300 He needs the money.

00:55:08.300 $2?

00:55:09.300 $2. 0.99

00:55:10.300 Back in my day, you'd see dick for free. 0.98

00:55:11.300 They'd flash you on the bus and now pay a cent. 0.96

00:55:14.300 It was Sunday school, Boy Scouts, camping trips. 0.99

00:55:18.300 I saw dick everywhere. 0.99

00:55:19.300 Yeah. 1.00

00:55:20.300 I never want to do it, but...

00:55:21.300 A family reunion.

00:55:22.300 Is there anything...

00:55:23.300 Staying over at my uncle's house? 0.99

00:55:25.300 Is there anything less worth than a dick? 1.00

00:55:28.300 Oh, yes, yes, yes. 1.00

00:55:29.300 A woman's opinion.

00:55:30.300 Oh, yeah, yeah.

00:55:32.300 Wow.

00:55:33.300 Boom! 1.00

00:55:34.300 Shut up. 1.00

00:55:35.300 You know I'm right. 1.00

00:55:36.300 And if you're a woman, I don't care about your opinion. 1.00

00:55:40.300 It's a life hack.

00:55:42.300 I'd like to imagine, because Emily does watch the show, I'd like to imagine that you watch

00:55:46.300 it like this all the time, which is just incredible.

00:55:48.300 Yeah.

00:55:49.300 Oh, she was mean to us earlier. 1.00

00:55:50.300 She was mean to us.

00:55:51.300 Forget it, Emily.

00:55:52.300 She was mean to all of us.

00:55:53.300 Forget I addressed you.

00:55:54.300 Forget it.

00:55:55.300 I was mean...

00:55:56.300 I was mean to me.

00:55:57.300 No.

00:55:58.300 I obviously...

00:55:59.300 And if I cared about what you thought, it would mean something.

00:56:03.300 Toad, Toad, Toad, we've lost the plot.

00:56:06.300 Toad, you can have an opinion when you get the job.

00:56:09.300 What?

00:56:10.300 Only landowning males can have an opinion around here.

00:56:14.300 That's right.

00:56:15.300 Guys, we've lost the plot.

00:56:16.300 Toad.

00:56:17.300 Sorry, we're talking about...

00:56:18.300 Sorry, guys. 1.00

00:56:19.300 We're talking about dicks. 0.99

00:56:20.300 We need to get back to the situation at large. 0.99

00:56:23.300 Can we get back to business, please?

00:56:24.300 Does this person...

00:56:25.300 Thank you, Clint.

00:56:26.300 Does this person win Cocktober or not?

00:56:28.300 Or will the drawings continue?

00:56:30.300 Marshall...

00:56:31.300 Hold on, hold on, hold on. 0.98

00:56:32.300 Before you answer, Toad, Toad, the way you hyped up two weeks ago's dick, if you go against 0.96

00:56:38.300 that as the winner, like... 0.99

00:56:39.300 Psychotic. 0.99

00:56:40.300 You're just gay at that point. 1.00

00:56:41.300 Because the way you talked about that dick... 1.00

00:56:43.300 He really did. 1.00

00:56:44.300 Oh, God.

00:56:45.300 He was...

00:56:46.300 I'm not even exaggerating. 1.00

00:56:47.300 He was salivating talking about this dude's dick. 1.00

00:56:48.300 It was fucking creepy as hell. 1.00

00:56:49.300 You're going to tell me that's not the most tremendous dick of this month? 1.00

00:56:53.300 It wasn't even really nice. 0.99

00:56:54.300 No.

00:56:55.300 Marshall Banana is the winner of Cocktober 2024.

00:56:58.300 Woo! 0.99

00:56:59.300 First, people.

00:57:00.300 All right.

00:57:01.300 In my opinion.

00:57:02.300 You guys get a vote, I think, too, though.

00:57:04.300 But, I mean, the presentation is insane.

00:57:06.300 The size is great.

00:57:07.300 Marshall Banana, you get a car rented to any destination you want for one full week.

00:57:13.300 You can drive 100 miles per hour.

00:57:15.300 You don't have to get extra insurance.

00:57:17.300 And you have to take photos of the sunset. 1.00

00:57:19.300 Have a fucking podcast. 1.00

00:57:20.300 We're going... 1.00

00:57:21.300 We're tacking out that speedometer.

00:57:22.300 That speedometer.

00:57:23.300 Thank you for playing.

00:57:24.300 I'll see you in a year.

00:57:26.300 Hey, we have a...

00:57:28.300 We have a lane edit, don't we?

00:57:29.300 A tour of all the glory holes in Italy.

00:57:32.300 Oh, God.

00:57:33.300 We actually do have a lane edit, but I don't know if we should play it.

00:57:35.300 No, we should play it.

00:57:36.300 No, no, no, no.

00:57:37.300 We play...

00:57:38.300 I think we should.

00:57:39.300 All right.

00:57:40.300 For those that aren't familiar with Tower Gang, we're going to watch a laney edit.

00:57:41.300 Yeah.

00:57:42.300 Our resident tranny makes an incredible edit of our highlights from our past week. 0.97

00:57:46.300 The volume on this TV. 1.00

00:57:47.300 She's fucking... 1.00

00:57:48.300 He's... 1.00

00:57:49.300 I don't know.

00:57:50.300 The volume all the way up on this TV.

00:57:51.300 Yeah.

00:57:52.300 The volume.

00:57:53.300 Volume.

00:57:54.300 On the TV.

00:57:55.300 Put it up.

00:57:56.300 So, the way this is going to work is that we can show the people in-house the video,

00:58:00.300 but we can't show it to Rumble because it's not...

00:58:02.300 Whatever.

00:58:03.300 The audio stuff.

00:58:04.300 I'm tired.

00:58:05.300 I'm trying to figure it out.

00:58:06.300 Trying to figure it out.

00:58:07.300 We'll post it to Rumble eventually though, I assume.

00:58:08.300 Yeah.

00:58:09.300 We'll post it right after.

00:58:10.300 This is Laney.

00:58:11.300 Did us a solid and gave us a Laney edit.

00:58:13.300 So, I guess we'll go ahead and listen to it.

00:58:16.300 Oh.

00:58:17.300 That's us.

00:58:19.300 I think that's probably the one.

00:58:20.300 That's it.

00:58:21.300 Yeah.

00:58:22.300 I can't hear it though.

00:58:23.300 Let's do it. 1.00

00:58:24.300 God damn it. 1.00

00:58:27.300 Oh, no. 1.00

00:58:28.300 I think I can find another way.

00:58:30.300 Just give me one second.

00:58:31.300 Oh, yeah.

00:58:32.300 No sound.

00:58:33.300 Yeah.

00:58:34.300 I'm sorry guys.

00:58:35.300 Bear with us through the technical difficulties.

00:58:36.300 This is the best part.

00:58:38.300 This is my favorite part.

00:58:41.300 Watching a Puerto Rican try to figure out an iPad. 1.00

00:58:44.300 Watching Top Panic is awesome.

00:58:47.300 Yes.

00:58:48.300 Here we go. 1.00

00:58:49.300 Fuck you guys. 1.00

00:58:50.300 Thank you, Laney. 1.00

00:58:54.300 There is Laney.

00:58:55.300 I can't hear you.

00:58:56.300 There it is.

00:58:57.300 I can't hear you.

00:58:58.300 There it is, right.

00:58:59.300 Laney's dead.

00:59:00.300 Hang on.

00:59:01.300 It's water.

00:59:02.300 Oh, God.

00:59:03.300 What does that happen?

00:59:04.300 Is it buffering?

00:59:05.300 It's buffering.

00:59:06.300 It's laying out.

00:59:07.300 It is too extreme for the video.

00:59:10.300 Is it buffering?

00:59:20.200 It's buffering.

00:59:21.540 This laney edit is too extreme for the theater. 1.00

00:59:24.520 You're such a cheap piece of shit. 0.99

00:59:25.780 If you were a professional broadcaster, you would have downloaded the video before. 1.00

00:59:29.300 I had it downloaded, you motherfucker, and you won't play with sound after I've downloaded it. 0.98

00:59:35.320 So I guess we might not be watching it later. 0.99

00:59:37.380 I'm so fucking excited for this.

00:59:38.860 We have to watch it. 0.96

00:59:39.240 I know.

00:59:39.520 This is going to be like Lainey Blue Balls.

00:59:42.880 I can't believe that Lainey found a way to actually play video in video in real time.

00:59:47.740 That's so sick.

00:59:48.480 Play video in video in real life.

00:59:50.160 It's a real video.

00:59:50.740 It's just not playing right now.

00:59:52.820 Okay, we'll try it again.

00:59:55.080 Everybody act surprised at the part we just saw. 0.98

00:59:56.580 I was watching it and jerking off. 0.99

01:00:11.380 I was watching it and jerking off. 0.99

01:00:11.420 I was watching it and saying it. 0.99

01:00:12.060 And I suddenly pissed myself.

01:00:15.880 Yes.

01:00:17.220 No, you did not! 0.99

01:00:34.220 If I had used masturbation more readily, I probably wouldn't have herpes. 1.00

01:00:47.220 If I'm not lying, my cousin would 100% tell me how to jerk off. 1.00

01:00:51.220 If you're gonna tell me how big this dude's dick is, I'm gonna mute your fucking mic. 1.00

01:01:03.220 Do they have like milking cables for chicks though with like two holes or their kids go through and then you can milk them through it? 1.00

01:01:09.220 Does that exist? 1.00

01:01:11.220 You have such a fucking milk fetish, boss. 1.00

01:01:13.220 Oh, God damn it! 1.00

01:01:17.220 Oh, I don't know if this is gonna work. 0.99

01:01:19.220 Do you know chicks though with like two holes or their kids go through and then you can milk them through it? 1.00

01:01:23.220 Does that exist? 1.00

01:01:24.220 You have such a fucking milk fetish, boss? 1.00

01:01:27.220 Oh! 1.00

01:01:30.220 No!

01:01:35.220 This is like getting blue balls and I kind of...

01:01:38.220 Hey, this is telling me I gotta go.

01:01:40.220 All right. 0.99

01:01:42.220 This is really like me getting a blowjob like it's just 0.99

01:01:49.540 The five nine 1.00

01:01:53.440 It's like you can free me for pedophilia, but I will not watch a lady 1.00

01:01:57.340 Seriously, this is our 200th episode of tagging. We really sincerely from the bottom of my heart

01:02:01.740 Thank you guys so much for coming out. It's fucking dream to do this shit. We were in all of us were inspired 1.00

01:02:06.420 At least I was from Legion of Skanks. I've been you know, basically Dave Smith's fucking 0.98

01:02:10.420 Shadow for the past couple years. So to have 0.97

01:02:13.240 50 75

01:02:14.240 It's been amazing

01:02:16.240 Continue

01:02:21.580 Just giving like a he's like a heartfelt like really thank you guys for coming out and it means a lot 0.97

01:02:27.420 From pretty far to see this retarded shit, and I do thank you. It's like dick 1.00

01:02:35.220 Exactly, thank you guys for coming you know such a long distance just to see a really long cock 1.00

01:02:39.760 I'll pay anyone five hundred dollars male or female to fuck toad tonight. Oh 1.00

01:02:45.220 Preferably male but 1.00

01:02:47.220 No, I mean you wouldn't accept it. All right, so I tried I tried

01:02:52.660 You already owe him three hundred dollars

01:02:55.120 You can't put it all right guys all right guys listen. It's been real. It's been tower gang Wednesday. Thank you guys for fucking hanging out

01:03:00.960 We're gonna do some stuff in a couple minutes. So hang tight and plays out with some music Alex 0.97

01:03:05.840 It's a tower power hour bitch. No way, Jose Liberty lock down 0.95

01:03:11.300 Clint, bitch 1.00

01:03:13.300 Reed 0.99

01:03:15.300 Cole

01:03:16.300 Top Lobster and Toad

01:03:18.300 Yo

01:03:19.300 Tower gang, tower gang, tower gang, tower gang, tower gang

01:03:21.680 Tower gang, tower gang, tower gang, tower gang

01:03:23.680 Liberty lock is true thing

01:03:25.300 Same with lobster, Cole, and Jose

01:03:27.300 Toad is sick, no way, Jose

01:03:29.300 It's the tower power hour slug 0.94

01:03:30.240 They made dais smith all his

01:03:35.100 Tower gang, tower gang, tower gang, tower gang

01:03:35.800 Tower gang, tower gang, tower gang, tower gang

01:03:38.500 They made dais smith all his thing

01:03:40.500 Tower gang, masquins, tower gang, tower gang

01:03:44.020 Tower gang, tower gang, tower gang 0.96

01:03:48.940 It's so fucking hard to line up to 0.91

01:03:50.840 if syllables and all it 0.94

01:03:51.860 That's all, folks.

Tower Gang - October 31, 2024

Ep 200 - The Cumzone - Live at Brohemian Grove

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript