Ep 203 - Cummibalism
Episode Stats
Length
1 hour and 37 minutes
Words per Minute
195.54263
Hate Speech Sentences
188
Summary
Cole and Matt are back with a brand new episode of the podcast. This week, the boys talk about their favorite movies and TV shows. They also talk about the latest in politics, and how much they don t give a fck about anything else.
Transcript
00:00:00.000
Check out the big stars, big series, and blockbuster movies
00:00:30.000
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00:00:35.460
Play free casino games, get poker tips, and check out the latest sports odds.
00:01:15.760
I've been trying for another one, and in the background of mine, I was like, it would
00:02:04.520
I just realized that, like, with that particular intro, we've said retard 75 times before we
00:02:15.840
Yeah, well, it was my-tard, we-tard, retard nation.
00:02:27.680
I'm starting, I'm really starting to think that we can get away with the s*** that we
00:02:44.080
I listened to the show after the fact, and I listened to it often to see what we said
00:02:48.460
and how stupid it sounded, and I'm like, we didn't really say anything that was
00:02:55.220
Shit like that, but I'm pretty sure that's all bannable.
00:03:02.920
It's when you mix the nigger faggot with political when it really gets issues.
00:03:14.920
But now I think we've adequately gotten away enough from the politics that we can just let
00:03:56.040
I don't give a f*** about whatever Trump just did.
00:04:00.800
And I voted for him just because I need to see if he's the Antichrist or not.
00:04:09.780
Shouldn't you figure out if he's the Antichrist before you vote for him?
00:04:22.200
These prophecies won't self-fulfill themselves.
00:04:27.940
Does he have that demonic hellfire shine there?
00:04:34.560
Actually, the real issue is I put my contacts in and I had just had boiled peanuts right before.
00:04:39.860
And so I f***ing had still a little bit on my fingers.
00:04:47.320
Toad, you, speaking of salt in your eyes, you left your own show's group chat today.
00:04:57.500
I joined it after just to talk shit and it's pretty cool now.
00:05:03.320
You have like a dozen fans and you abandoned them.
00:05:06.080
I think I've left it like eight times in the last couple of days.
00:05:18.320
In all seriousness, this is the way to make like a viral sensation is to like create these
00:05:24.120
social bubbles that you start as like some sort of leader or father figure and then they
00:05:29.360
just grow to hate you and then from there it just grows.
00:05:31.920
You create like a network of these hatred groups for you and create this own self-sustaining
00:05:46.280
Just keep creating new ones and raging out over some gay fucking shit.
00:05:53.840
You know that you could just like not look, right?
00:06:04.300
Like I look at our show group chats, but like any other group chats?
00:06:22.080
People will like, people used to just put me into group chats, but I've left so many
00:06:29.060
I mean, I can't leave because every time I leave one, people re-add me to it.
00:06:36.100
It's like a gang called my only source of news.
00:06:47.400
He should have kept that $10 and buy himself a better dick.
00:06:55.140
He did not, he didn't understand the rules of Coctober.
00:07:02.140
This guy has now, he has a conspiracy show that's like in the same world as my conspiracy
00:07:08.080
If he would have won Coctober, he would have been on my show.
00:07:11.920
David would have been out doing his show with that guy in the other universe.
00:07:24.600
Like the quality of your dick is now why you're a failure in life.
00:07:37.620
Well, there's the, there is the, uh, the one drawback, like the, or the, uh, I guess
00:07:43.600
the, the counterfactual or the counterpoint is that the black, black people.
00:07:53.580
It's really hard to like, then put it forth that extra effort to actually be good at things.
00:07:59.100
You're like, you're like, I already got a big old dick.
00:08:05.160
What happens there is their, their dick is so big that, you know, there's, there has to be.
00:08:09.040
Do I need to respect the cop when he pulls me over?
00:08:11.120
Do I need to slowly pull my wallet out and show him my ID?
00:08:22.600
We're talking about the, the dick to income ratio.
00:08:27.560
And I don't know how you'd measure it on, like on inches, like, or on, like, one through
00:08:53.720
I feel like, I feel like Toad's like a, like a 0.5 percenter.
00:08:56.660
I feel like big dicks are going to be on the extremes of either end.
00:09:23.260
It's about some weird cult shit where they drink cum and suck each other
00:09:26.700
Oh, I heard about this at a festival I went to.
00:09:31.740
They get really, really, like, worked up about it, too.
00:09:39.020
You're really trying to get me to drink some cum here.
00:09:48.000
And he could not, he couldn't stop referencing sucking his own dick.
00:09:52.120
I was like, it's so, he was like, you're a dick and what you're talking about is sacrilegious.
00:10:08.140
There was like a 48-hour period where my entire timeline was just top, quote, tweeting a guy, like, just totally pissed off that he was being challenged on the fact that he was drinking his own cum.
00:10:23.580
This guy just kept tripling and quadrupling down.
00:10:34.160
What I made this guy do is fucking a masterpiece.
00:10:38.600
And people, you know, they want to see black people fighting video.
00:10:45.240
What do we, like, con people into drinking their own cum somehow?
00:10:48.120
They got to submit a video of them drinking their own cum.
00:10:53.640
He said, if you don't drink the seed, you don't get the knowledge.
00:10:56.380
If you don't drink the seed, you don't get the knowledge is what he said.
00:11:03.200
So to answer JC's question, fuck no, we're not doing Boktober.
00:11:08.460
I mean, unless you can find some sort of fun angle that isn't overly discussed, I struggle to figure out what it is.
00:11:17.340
No, our audience members are going to submit videos of them drinking their own cum, and then we have to determine who's the winner.
00:11:34.100
He's okay with pulling up somebody's dick in a hot dog with mustard squirted over it.
00:11:42.640
In front of like a hundred people, you're fine with that.
00:11:46.260
But us in this setting here, watching another man just go and drink his own cum, no.
00:11:56.520
I think you're wearing a smoking jacket and drinking out of a snifter.
00:12:12.860
Man, we're early with the is it gay segment, but this is how it starts.
00:12:16.700
Can we take a moment to focus on what kind of a deal these patrons get?
00:12:22.040
What they get for the bang they get for their buck?
00:12:25.780
If you need to be here for the pre and the post shows.
00:12:32.720
You're missing out on high quality entertainment if you are not there.
00:12:45.260
Can somebody go back and say, like, clip every time Toad has said title of the episode?
00:12:53.680
Every time he said Mark Vestibule, that would be cool.
00:12:58.640
It would be just like five minutes of him saying Mark Vestibule.
00:13:02.900
Or, yeah, if we can get an AI that just scrapes based off of a word search all of our database.
00:13:09.000
Like, just have him saying, circumcise over and over again because he says that every episode.
00:13:27.480
Or we could just get a nigger reel set up for him.
00:13:29.480
And just, like, not even just nigger, just all the most awful things he said.
00:13:40.640
I think if we could find a good way to judge it, like, the most creative way that they
00:13:48.140
How the fuck do we judge who wins drinking their own cum, you sick fuck?
00:13:50.840
How do you judge an Olympic artistic performance?
00:14:11.540
It's way better than looking at someone else's dick.
00:14:18.140
Yeah, well, I mean, I guess they could fake us out.
00:14:22.580
No, if they're going to do it, I want them to drink their own cum, so I don't want to
00:14:25.680
I know, but I'm saying maybe it's our job to judge if it's actually cum.
00:14:38.320
Dude, a super edit of every syllable that Toad has ever overemphasized would be fucking
00:14:43.500
Well, apparently, dude, I don't remember who it was, but somebody, some woman came up
00:14:49.280
If you made an AI listen to that, imagine, you take, how many hours of Tower Gang are
00:15:04.640
Imagine how much gold is in better off dead of me incorrectly emphasizing words.
00:15:08.700
I think if you put 400 hours of Toad and you asked an AI to isolate only the times that
00:15:15.000
he has over-accentuated a syllable, it would kill itself.
00:15:19.480
I think that that would, I mean, it would either drive the AI crazy.
00:15:23.160
Or it would create an entirely new language that only like the most severely autistic people
00:15:34.960
This woman came up to me at Bro Grove and told me that the way that I emphasize words is
00:15:44.780
Well, let me tell you, first off, this story's bullshit because a woman didn't come up to you.
00:16:01.000
Well, if she didn't, then she's not a real fan.
00:16:03.040
If you would have asked her, I think this specific woman would have let you breastfeed.
00:16:08.820
Actually, you should just ask like off-jump every time you-
00:16:15.320
Yeah, that's the first thing I ask any time I meet a woman.
00:16:23.760
It should be me sampling women's breast milk instead.
00:16:27.360
Again, we don't have the audience for it yet, Toad, but that would be fucking dope.
00:16:33.740
Mark Vestibule says, if the abos had pharaohs, what abo treasure would we find in their tubes?
00:16:43.760
Just a plastic bag so they could put fuel in it?
00:16:47.200
I was thinking like the sticks that they bang was the first thing that came to my mind
00:16:50.820
because they got to make music in the afterlife.
00:16:52.700
Something to do with fuel, though, would make sense for sure.
00:17:03.400
I've made it my life choice to kind of deny that they exist.
00:17:25.280
In the chat, if anyone has ever seen an aboriginal outside of Australia, I would like
00:17:34.540
When they die, I think what happens is their body gets embalmed in the patch.
00:17:56.880
Because if they only exist in Australia, like a kangaroo, you know?
00:18:24.600
But the way the night ended was Elijah was pissed drunk and he was talking about abos and how
00:18:32.520
And I saw him spiral to the point where he started doing an aboriginal accent and wouldn't
00:18:47.940
I left like 60 seconds prior to that because I could feel it coming.
00:18:51.240
If they're abo zoos, do you think they have like Harambe incidents once in a while?
00:19:14.360
Yeah, so this stupid black mother was not watching her children.
00:19:22.860
Well, this is why the gorilla thought that the kid was one of its children.
00:19:29.540
Honestly, the gorilla would have taken better care of that child than the mother.
00:19:34.940
Yeah, so the gorilla was going up, treating the little boy like its kid.
00:19:39.980
And then the people at the zoo were like, nope, this isn't happening.
00:19:48.680
I was listening to the show last week because now I said something.
00:19:52.360
I said, statistically, last week, we brought up statistics, right?
00:20:04.500
It makes more sense to look at raw data of votes as opposed to looking at it from a perspective
00:20:09.020
of percentage, which makes it a more easy to remember to conceptualize quickly in passing.
00:20:18.880
Instead, we're going to go, nope, we got 3,472,562.
00:20:26.520
Because Jose and Cole were on the same page with this.
00:20:32.840
But then if you say it with confidence and people think you're smart, you get away with
00:20:42.820
I think you guys were just talking past each other.
00:20:45.920
It was like 0.4% of the vote is a big difference when you're counting and you don't know how
00:20:54.780
And the discrepancy from the last time was like a discrepancy of 30 million.
00:20:58.320
So 0.4% could be off by like 200,000, maybe more.
00:21:02.780
And that's like, I was trying to get like real numbers.
00:21:07.180
If you're getting into the minutia, if you're getting into the minutia, like down to the
00:21:12.560
Yeah, I guess it'd probably be better to look at.
00:21:16.920
I think the point you were making was that like, okay, 0.4% of 150 million votes is actually
00:21:25.740
So we actually have like a better frame of reference.
00:21:28.460
When the Holocaust ended, now this will get us banned.
00:21:32.300
270,000 was a realistic number that they were at.
00:21:39.640
If I said 4% of the Holocaust victims were full of shit.
00:21:44.360
And then you said, well, 4% of 270,000 is way different than 6 million.
00:21:51.120
I feel like you didn't need to use that analogy.
00:21:58.240
Why do they keep increasing the numbers though?
00:22:00.300
You're like, I don't think they're understanding the point I'm making.
00:22:09.800
It's been a while since we've talked about the Jews.
00:22:12.060
It just makes the Nazis seem way more awesome the more the number increases.
00:22:22.520
It doesn't make them seem more, like, effective.
00:22:25.140
It makes the Jews seem weaker, like, less, more readily killable.
00:22:35.820
We're going to have to delete this episode, like, ASAP.
00:22:42.840
I feel like we ought to just be able to say before we start on one of these rants,
00:22:51.460
And, like, whatever we say after that ought to be allowed.
00:22:56.180
And then you talk about how you're going to, like, I'm not even going to say it.
00:22:59.780
But, like, honestly, isn't that how it ought to work?
00:23:26.740
Instead of deporting the illegal immigrants, you could deport, if instead of deporting the
00:23:31.420
illegal immigrants, you could deport smoke detector collectors instead, would you take
00:23:36.120
I don't think black people collect smoke detectors.
00:23:39.860
We've answered similar questions to this before.
00:23:41.900
It's basically, who would you rather live with, like, all the illegal immigrants or the
00:23:52.380
What's it called where you take an inanimate object and you make it human?
00:23:58.380
If we could anthropomorphize into cartoon form a smoke detector.
00:24:02.280
Are you going to say anthropomorphize black people?
00:24:08.940
What I'm about to say isn't racist, so this is totally different.
00:24:11.860
But if we could anthropomorphize a smoke detector, have it, like, being birthed from its mother
00:24:16.120
and then, like, having, like, twin smoke detectors that are born and then they're split up at birth
00:24:22.080
and one goes to a white family and then it gets, you know, its battery recharged once a year
00:24:25.780
and then the black family gets the other one and we just...
00:24:30.580
That's what's going on with the blacks because their child is, like, the smoke detector
00:24:39.020
Is this me or is this Toad in a weird mindset today?
00:24:49.020
Like, he looked better when he had the no beard or, like, a full beard.
00:25:02.600
I've had no sleep, so that's part of the issue.
00:25:15.900
I don't know when it was, but you stayed up something retarded, like, for, like,
00:25:21.740
Because you were, like, I guess part of, like, commentating in a really serious, important,
00:25:42.540
I would actually go with the black people on that, because I think even statistically speaking,
00:25:54.380
Never mentioned Better Off Dead again on Tower Gang and Uke, Rage Against the Machine, Township
00:26:00.680
How about either of those are reasonable ass to be honest?
00:26:04.680
I will kick you off the show if you fucking mention Better Off Dead again.
00:26:11.260
You're no longer allowed to stream it to the YouTube channel.
00:26:14.560
As far as I'm concerned, if he sends us 50 bucks every week,
00:26:20.600
There's no way I could do that Rage cover, man.
00:26:37.820
So I wanted to ask you guys, okay, here they are.
00:26:40.180
The Human Reaction Podcast, because now I'm kind of stuck on this.
00:27:30.480
They're doing better off dead numbers over here.
00:27:45.540
I've only been on it once, so I thought the episode...
00:27:48.140
It's not a show I would want to watch regularly, to be frank, but it's...
00:27:51.460
I think, like, a lot of people would enjoy it, probably.
00:27:59.680
On mine, they were talking about the election, though, and I was making jokes and shit, so...
00:28:05.380
I mean, the name of the show is based off of Mises, so...
00:28:15.220
I have the book over here with a fucking waste of money.
00:28:27.520
I can't believe I bought these books for these people I used to believe in that I never read.
00:28:37.540
I just, like, put it up against my dick briefly.
00:28:40.660
Yeah, everything that I casually believed in is undrew.
00:28:46.580
I have now casually looked at other books and decided that everything I used to believe was wrong.
00:28:51.020
I have a new set of books that I haven't read that now I believe are correct.
00:28:56.760
I'm going to buy a Quran and place it in Top's house, and he's going to be Muslim in a year.
00:29:05.980
You guys like to talk shit about fucking Nephilim Deskway.
00:29:23.940
It's literally all of Congress talking about...
00:29:34.760
Because you're worried about Trump's cabinet picks, and they're like, we're talking about aliens over here.
00:29:41.460
The fucking guy said something like, we don't know if this is from, like, another thing that we don't know about or a foreign country, but it's probably not a foreign country.
00:29:49.060
And they're like, you guys need to tell us the truth.
00:29:51.280
I mean, my instinct is that it's Project Bluebeam, and they're just preparing to probably oust Trump and declare, I don't know, martial law to deal with the alien invasion.
00:30:03.420
Like, that's my gut instinct, but I don't know.
00:30:06.360
And then we got Mr. CIA, them being like, I'm not saying they're Nephilim, but they could be Nephilim.
00:30:13.140
And then we got people like Top being like, see? Totally fucking Nephilim.
00:30:17.740
I don't believe in aliens anymore because of this.
00:30:20.860
The new head of the CIA is for real, like, the disclosure guy.
00:30:26.080
But he's also involved in these disclosures, which makes me very skeptical.
00:30:29.940
Wait, the new head of the CIA is the new head of the CIA?
00:30:45.260
We'd be fucking fucking up South America again.
00:30:59.940
His name tells you right off the bat that he's a Jew.
00:31:05.260
Okay, so why do you think he's, what's up with Radcliffe?
00:31:10.040
No, I just, I read something earlier about how he's also involved in the UAP disclosure shit.
00:31:27.880
They locked us in our houses for over a year based off a fucking airborne pathogen that
00:31:31.700
they created that didn't even kill anybody except the elderly.
00:31:36.160
Yeah, when they come out in their hollowed holes of power and go, there's aliens.
00:31:44.400
For the last, like, fucking 40 episodes, I was like, we're good.
00:31:48.080
We haven't really violated Term of the Service, but for sure we did right there.
00:31:52.440
Yeah, but, like, that's where it went completely wrong.
00:31:59.160
You brought up the fucking congressional hearings.
00:32:00.500
I know they're saying aliens aren't real over there.
00:32:10.140
When we say that the alien invasion that they're going to fake in the future is fake, we're
00:32:16.400
The alien invasion they're going to fake is fake.
00:32:23.760
They retroactively struck people for health misinformation based off of, like, predictions
00:32:30.000
It's like, your video got flagged for alien denialism.
00:32:40.720
Like, I thought they were real until you told me I was right.
00:32:50.360
And I would actually go, I would actually pick the black people because the immigrants
00:32:55.020
are coming from a way lower fucking economic class and they're actually generally way worse.
00:33:04.500
No, Jose is correct because in deporting the illegal, some of those are some of the worst
00:33:11.020
The black people that you keep are at least, like, Americanized.
00:33:16.840
I mean, if it's Cubans, then ship all the blacks out.
00:33:21.860
We're talking some sort of specific demographic.
00:33:24.060
If it's a bunch of, like, hot Ukrainian women, then I don't want to get rid of them.
00:33:27.940
If it's Ukrainian women and Cuban men, send them in.
00:33:34.000
Which has the highest rate or possible rate of assimilation?
00:33:57.400
You're supposed to laugh at it, not agree with it.
00:34:00.680
Whenever you walk into one of their areas, it's like Joe Rogan said.
00:34:11.020
Dude, that's literally the clip that Joe Rogan had to apologize for.
00:34:38.440
Can you imagine being one of those people who can't, like, tell the actual truth?
00:34:42.880
Like, you believe this thing, but you just can't say it?
00:34:50.520
How many people about that from Toad just felt like some sort of weird tell?
00:34:56.060
Like, I'm lying to all of them, but I'm going to say it this way.
00:35:03.520
The way he emphasized that, some of that just freaked me out a little bit.
00:35:15.960
Top has decided to be a contrarian and believe all of Toad's lies, and that's fine.
00:35:23.300
I think that Toad is completely legitimate in everything he says.
00:35:27.260
I think he's brain damaged, and he may believe his own lies, but that doesn't make them true.
00:35:31.060
I'm genuinely a little bit concerned he might be some sort of MKUltra puppet or something.
00:35:36.040
That's kind of where I'm at with the reality of Toad.
00:35:51.000
That would be the most, like, Kaiser Sose bullshit at the end if we're like...
00:35:58.940
Like, I don't think that Toad's a fed, but I think that, like, he'll probably get caught
00:36:02.760
with, like, kiddie porn and then flipped to rat on us at some point.
00:36:16.880
This picture says, man with autism caught with CP.
00:36:23.060
This is totally the face of somebody the fed's talking to doing some sort of illegal act.
00:36:27.100
I mean, he just looks like the guy that, like, goes to a gun range and he's like, hey, where
00:36:35.460
He goes to a gun range and doesn't know how to shoot the guns.
00:36:44.520
He's like, I've been in a militia for fucking, you know, 10 years.
00:37:10.800
What position should Clint receive in Trump's cabinet?
00:37:24.040
I mean, the serious answer is, like, head of the treasury or something.
00:37:31.540
Yeah, I mean, we're just creating new departments.
00:38:05.880
I think that's the breast milk connoisseur shirt.
00:38:12.120
So in those pictures, I'm drinking, like, scotch and stuff.
00:38:27.140
I was watching threesomes and, like, getting tossed out of bars.
00:38:57.520
I feel like we're, like, trying to take care of these two.
00:39:00.720
Toad was having a fucking spaz attack before the show for whatever reason.
00:39:10.120
It's funny because I also, like, basically had a full-on panic attack when we were going
00:39:14.440
to do our live show, which is totally ridiculous.
00:39:21.420
But then Toad was, like, even after we were done, it seemed like his anxiety got worse,
00:39:31.200
I have had a rough few past weeks, and then I come in here with Toad's weird anxiety.
00:39:36.060
Maybe I'm just projecting, and I'm in a weird spot, but I'm going to blame it on Toad.
00:39:40.340
My anxiety was about getting back to the airport.
00:39:48.840
He says in the group chat, my mother-in-law died, and they were, like, sorry, and he's
00:39:57.640
Because it feels weird, because everyone keeps doing that and going, I'm sorry, I'm sorry,
00:40:03.440
We were fine, but it's weird to get sorry for, like, not my mom.
00:40:08.600
So, it's, like, it's awful for my wife and my kids, but aside from that, it's, like...
00:40:19.900
Well, then why don't you have any attachment to her, you sick fuck?
00:40:25.900
It's like I'm hanging out with my mother-in-law.
00:40:27.300
JC asks, would Toad join the military if they legalized breastfeeding on the battlefield?
00:40:37.520
Oh, by the way, someone said it's your kid's grandma.
00:40:42.440
But so far as my connection, it's, like, people saying sorry to me.
00:40:49.180
You ought to have a relationship and a connection to your mother-in-law.
00:41:09.440
Well, I mean, what is me freaking out going to do about it?
00:41:13.720
Well, if your mom died, you freaking out doesn't do anything about it either.
00:41:21.140
Dude, you can't put Jessica Simpson on there and talk about breastfeeding.
00:41:29.800
And that's really a question people are asking?
00:41:46.640
Yes, but then she ended up going to pumping, like, right after.
00:41:52.120
They're, like, at work pumping, because otherwise it'll get swollen and then infected.
00:41:58.260
So it's just all day long, all day long, they're connected to something.
00:42:00.920
Then you've got to figure out how to fucking freeze all this shit.
00:42:11.480
If my wife was breastfeeding, I'd be like, I'd be offered to help all the time.
00:42:14.680
Just top telling that story, and Toja's sitting there fucking salivating.
00:42:27.360
It was not what I was expecting at all, considering some of the rhetoric he has said.
00:42:33.740
I thought we as a nation were smarter, but I guess not.
00:42:38.460
To my transgender and friends and, you know, the people...
00:42:46.640
Yes, I've seen the beginning of it for so long, and I refuse to watch it because I'm like...
00:42:52.480
Everybody on Twitter tagged me in this saying it was me.
00:42:59.000
It's like with the racist Chinese fake teeth in.
00:43:09.660
As long as you stay alive, they cannot say we don't exist.
00:43:14.640
Being a Satanist means rebelling against them because they're wrong.
00:43:19.460
And as long as you draw a breath, every breath you take is a rebellion.
00:43:36.760
Honestly, that's what I'd say about libertarians, but whatever.
00:43:47.100
It was unfortunate before she grew that wispy goatee.
00:43:54.820
You don't know the strife of the person who's built backwards, okay?
00:44:00.260
It's crazy that like that obvious tranny had maybe 5% less testosterone than toad.
00:44:17.360
I think that's what makes you look like shit more.
00:44:21.840
So why does it look different when it's like longer?
00:44:33.880
As a fellow member of the Round Face Club, your face is too round to be shaving.
00:44:46.060
Either you leave it completely shaved or you have the beard.
00:44:55.420
When you have a full beard, still terrible, but less terrible.
00:44:59.300
When I'm completely shaved, my face looks like Elon Musk's body.
00:45:14.660
By the way, does anyone know the reference I'm making of the racist Chinese?
00:45:20.120
I forget what Hollywood actor back in like the 40s, he would play this Chinese character.
00:45:25.420
And the entire thing to make him Chinese was he just had these two buck teeth.
00:45:31.620
I think I know vaguely what you're talking about, but it is a deep, deep cut.
00:45:35.900
You have to be very old to know this reference, because it was like a reference that I think
00:45:43.240
Yeah, but it was like a famous fucking Hollywood actor, and he would play a racist caricature
00:45:54.180
Tyler, if you can find it, it is, I mean, it would be great.
00:46:03.420
For those who don't know where he's literally my mom's age.
00:46:21.340
Yeah, I'm like, I was wigging out for a second.
00:46:40.000
That's not, that actually is not who I was thinking of.
00:46:49.860
I think, do you think that that's what would happen again though?
00:46:53.080
Like, if the country was so white that you had to have white people to play other ethnicities,
00:47:05.460
I want to go back to the state where women and minorities aren't allowed to act.
00:47:11.480
Yo, what I googled was racist Chinese caricature old movie, and it comes up Wikipedia examples
00:47:23.700
We should all be yellow face because, like, they cancel people for black face, but I feel
00:47:35.520
If I could fucking find this guy, you'd see what I'm talking about.
00:47:37.980
That was a medical joke, for those of you who don't understand.
00:47:44.640
I get that because my mother-in-law just died from liver failure, so thanks, Toad.
00:47:48.520
Oh, was she, like, yellow, like Homer Simpson yellow?
00:48:10.700
So you just have to have a yellow face and buck teeth.
00:48:14.960
Like, I've never even seen a Chinese person with buck teeth.
00:48:18.180
You always get a couple chicklets is what you do when you kind of jam on.
00:48:23.200
Yeah, that's, dude, that's what this tranny looked like there.
00:48:52.380
Dude, that's what we should have worn during COVID.
00:48:59.680
I can't believe we went through an entire decade of just, like, think pieces about what
00:49:16.220
Aunt Jemima just slamming her fucking fist through the box.
00:49:19.780
You just typed in, like, the golden phrase for racism on Google.
00:49:31.320
You get the most racist shit on the internet when you text those words.
00:49:38.280
Honestly, it's racist that Google even has this in their database.
00:49:42.560
I feel like we should cancel Google for letting me search for what I wanted.
00:49:52.540
If I wrote retarded Asian person, I'd never get that picture.
00:49:59.400
Dude, does a retarded Asian person, like, speak normally instead?
00:52:39.300
According to you, our historical expert, Josie.
00:52:48.140
So they were still dealing with clearly what Asians do.
00:52:51.780
But the Asians weren't allowed to act in the movies.
00:52:56.240
They just got done making the fucking railroads, I think.
00:53:02.440
Yeah, I mean, they got to be making our Chinese food and building our railroads.
00:53:11.460
Do you ever think about the Chinese food person's life?
00:53:15.000
They own the establishment, the small Chinese food store, and they're there all fucking day.
00:53:19.660
And it's just like a small hallway behind them.
00:53:21.480
And their husband's cooking in a huge wok all day long.
00:53:28.580
You go there and you see the same Chinese person there all the time.
00:53:32.160
And their kids are there doing homework in the corner.
00:53:34.240
I can't distinguish between them, so I don't know.
00:53:46.080
It's like, I'm not sure which of you was right.
00:53:49.240
That it's the same guy that's there from fucking morning to midnight.
00:53:53.120
It's the same guy who could be working four-hour shifts, and we don't know the difference.
00:53:55.200
Or, Toad could be right, and Top is actually the racist.
00:53:57.820
And there's three different guys coming in and doing the different shifts.
00:54:09.280
Go to Cactus in Brooklyn, Nostrand and Avenue Z in Sheepshead Bay.
00:54:16.780
Since I've been going to that place, my wife used to live across the street.
00:54:20.540
And we go there, and you call them for pickup, and she go,
00:54:33.440
I just wanted to hear your voice, and I hung up.
00:54:35.680
And it was like, she's been there for 20-something years doing the same shit.
00:54:44.400
Her kids grew to the point, I was eating Chinese food there,
00:54:47.140
to the point where, like, they were in kindergarten, and they're studious,
00:54:57.580
It was called Lotus Thai Bistro in Carlsbad Village.
00:55:08.440
He would always, he would, I would come in, and he'd go,
00:55:12.220
I would get either yellow curry or the garlic and pepper chicken.
00:55:20.360
because I'd have my headphones on, listen to the podcast,
00:55:23.820
He dropped dead of a heart attack working at that fucking restaurant.
00:55:45.360
If you're going to Clearwater, you're going to drive past it.
00:55:59.120
Call them just if you want to hear their voice.
00:56:07.660
The best part about this is that you could actually wear this to work.
00:56:36.760
It would be like an extra activity for the people.
00:56:48.920
Like literally roll in there with like 50 people.
00:56:57.220
I feel like this is our chance to do what your mom's house has done,
00:57:02.460
Because like they, like your mom's house ruined Garth Brooks' life.
00:57:09.980
They should be paying top like some sort of like royalty or something
00:57:26.660
Wait, it was a Clearwater or would it say Pinellas?
00:57:41.380
So I think, yeah, we're going to, we're going to give this away, but I don't know.
00:57:46.140
That's actually from the Laney edit, the middle one, like with the tower, the city skyline.
00:57:55.620
So we're going to figure out, somebody's going to get one of these three shirts and yeah.
00:58:10.480
Whoever drinks their own cum on video and DMs it to top first wins this shirt.
00:58:15.560
Then we have a bunch of people that ended up drinking their own cum that don't get a
00:58:37.140
If you want to drink your own cum, you can just buy a shirt.
00:58:41.580
By the way, people should be getting this shirt.
00:58:50.400
I have Sam on my show on Monday just to throw that out there to people.
00:58:56.160
I redid your fucking DEI, D-I-E, whatever fucking thing.
00:59:11.160
If you bring back one of my shirts, I'll promote it for the fucking trip.
00:59:15.980
I'm going to, I'm going to, it's just, I've been, I've been working real hard on getting
00:59:25.960
I should have added one of those Liberty Lockdown beanie's in my order.
00:59:31.500
He's fucking, you know, the Department of Governmental Efficiency.
01:00:30.520
Nigger's my deep, dark secret I keep to myself.
01:00:32.840
I have a nigger gun and I have a faggot knife right by my, right by my fucking desk when
01:00:59.180
The shortest and ugliest political commentator out there, Michael Malice.
01:01:20.940
Toad is your dog and he has some debilitating disease.
01:01:25.920
You go up to a black cop, you call him a nigger, and then he beats you up.
01:01:38.540
Tyler, can you confirm, is this in fact a foolproof free money cheat code?
01:01:44.140
If you're strapped for cash, just call a cop a nigger.
01:02:16.240
You know, when you inevitably get divorced because your wife abuses the shit out of you,
01:02:19.620
I want, like, we should definitely set up a camera crew to have you go on Grindr, just
01:02:26.320
We're so underpowered, I'm kind of mad about it.
01:02:33.580
Slight feet up the street, then you back, shift your own, then you collect.
01:02:43.840
If you want to find all the cops that hang out in the donut shop, they sing and dance.
01:02:53.220
All the Japanese with the day and the party boys fall upon the land.
01:03:00.420
You're just looking into Dave Smith's eyes and you're like, I gotta go jerk up.
01:03:04.920
Hey, fuck you, nigger, get off my fucking stream.
01:03:49.300
Again, we say it all the time, but, like, the edits are better than the show.
01:03:52.620
Like, it makes this show look so much cooler than what it is.
01:03:58.860
We're scraping through without Cole because his kids bleed him in the face.
01:04:10.760
We're going to give you that extra five bucks from Conspiracy Exchange.
01:04:13.400
He's literally the only one we give money to, including.
01:04:17.380
So, like, Lainey is getting paid what he's worth.
01:04:21.160
If you want to pay a tranny more, scan that QR code in the bottom right.
01:04:29.060
Actually, like, the highest level, you could literally take Toad out of the show.
01:04:36.980
Speaking of the Patreon, also on the post-show, the after-show, the penthouse last week,
01:04:43.980
We played the one that we weren't able to play at Bro Grove,
01:04:47.200
and we played another one that I think was using clips from Bro Grove.
01:04:52.480
They weren't as good as this one tonight, though.
01:04:59.980
I mean, to juxtapose the Bengals and the fucking 80s pop cocaine fucking ecstasy thing
01:05:06.860
that happens with that music, and then to juxtapose that with Dave Smith saying what he said,
01:05:12.220
and just over-the-top murders and car crashes, I mean, it's about as good as it gets.
01:05:27.020
That is so trippy, dude, because we're in the same spots, and it just shows us, like, we're in different shit.
01:05:33.940
It was something about it, that kind of music, and I feel like the violence in this episode, or this Lainey edit, was way more violent than it was before.
01:05:45.080
I feel like that every time, but this one was even more so.
01:05:58.420
By the way, Toad had a good idea for Lainey's nickname.
01:06:02.620
I want to run it past Lainey, because I have respect for him.
01:06:10.360
He's the Microsoft Word mascot, and now he's Lainey.
01:06:22.400
I don't think we need to talk about that on the show.
01:06:23.900
We're going to be putting them up on a separate rumble, I think is the plan.
01:06:26.200
I don't think we need to talk about it on the show, and they continue to talk about it.
01:06:37.780
Sometimes I do this show, and I go, you know what I really like to do?
01:06:39.260
We are going to have a feed of exclusively Lainey edits.
01:06:41.920
I've asked this for months, so it's going to happen, I'm sure, at some point.
01:06:45.140
Speaking of Clippy, by the way, that could be the mascot for Nadeau Shave Co.
01:07:01.580
Did you know that for less money than we get paid on ads, you guys could shave for the rest of your life?
01:07:09.820
Honestly, you don't ever have to replace the blade at all.
01:07:14.760
Like, they don't tell you this, but you can use the same razor your entire life.
01:07:20.800
Especially, yeah, if you end your life with that razor.
01:07:24.420
I'm saying, like, if you have a blade, it doesn't matter how dull it is.
01:07:28.820
Sure, it takes a little bit longer, but you don't have to replace it.
01:07:31.680
Do you just get a knife sharpener, run it through a couple times, go at it again?
01:07:45.120
Yeah, the government doesn't want you to know this, but the razor blades don't run out.
01:07:52.040
You can get free ducks at the park, and you can use the same razor for the rest of your life,
01:08:00.300
Get yourself 15% off the best American-made single-blade stainless steel razor in the game.
01:08:21.420
And you'd think I'd be switching them liberally.
01:08:24.940
I don't need to, and something in my mind, too, is like, I might need this for when the world
01:08:33.820
Yeah, I need as many razor blades as I can have.
01:08:41.960
I don't want you to know this, but you can use the same toothbrush for your entire existence.
01:08:47.980
I replace the head like, I don't know, not very often at all.
01:08:53.260
And then whenever I finally get a new one, I'm like secretly like, I kind of like this.
01:08:56.060
I would go to the dentist, and he'd be like, you need to get a new toothbrush every three
01:09:00.780
And I was like, oh, you work for Big Tooth, you fucking faggot.
01:09:03.440
I was like, every month, they get a new toothbrush.
01:09:13.960
Like, if I didn't have a wife, I'd have the same one from 10 years ago, unless I lost it
01:09:20.100
Like, I'll lose it when I travel periodically, and then I'll get a new one.
01:09:23.200
That's when its life expectancy is actually up.
01:09:28.300
Other than that, you can use the same one for 50 years.
01:09:34.940
Oh, it's like, it's brown as fuck at this point.
01:09:50.380
Or do you do, like, the fucking mechanical shit?
01:09:57.680
That's why I got the most expensive electric toothbrush.
01:10:23.920
It gives you, like, a gum massage every morning.
01:10:31.480
Tyler, you want to find that retard that Cole shared on Instagram?
01:10:41.160
That's literally all Cole ever shares with us is just retard clips on Instagram.
01:10:46.080
I wish he was here for this, because apparently he did, like, a deep dive on this actual profile.
01:10:50.460
So, like, he actually has, like, background information to provide us.
01:10:58.440
There's a correlation between how cool you think someone is and how much more readily you would open up and watch the videos that they send you, right?
01:11:08.400
Like, if so, if Toad sent a video, I don't generally don't watch it.
01:11:12.480
If I got a video from Elon Musk, you'd watch it right away, right?
01:11:21.280
Like, if he directly sent one to you, yeah, you've got to watch that shit.
01:11:24.980
Yeah, there's, like, a continuum from Toad to Elon.
01:11:30.720
I mentioned this, but I don't know which video you were talking about.
01:11:40.360
I like how they get off and they're just throwing rocks at bitches.
01:11:52.240
Like, they just get off, they throw rocks at some random broad, and then they say hi to someone driving past.
01:11:59.200
But they're retarded midgets, so they pretend to be school children?
01:12:05.440
There's no way that there's a chirp in the end.
01:12:09.320
Man, black people have smoke detectors outside?
01:12:14.580
Never know when you might want to not get warned about a fire somewhere.
01:12:21.200
Yeah, I mean, I was basically driving through, like, a fire the other night, and I noticed it, man.
01:12:27.180
I mean, you don't need a smoke detector for that shit.
01:12:36.700
I was driving home, and there was, like, this huge fire, like, a couple blocks away from my house.
01:12:40.380
I didn't realize I was driving right, I don't know, towards it, basically.
01:12:45.440
My vehicle just, like, reeks of smoke now, dude, probably permanently, because I drove, like, right through the fire zone or whatever.
01:12:53.220
So you think driving through smoke briefly is going to make your car smell like smoke forever?
01:13:03.180
It's not going to make your car smell like fucking smoke forever.
01:13:05.620
I don't believe that you drove through a smoky area on Friday, and your car still smells like smoke.
01:13:14.700
I don't give a flying fuck unless you drove through the fire itself.
01:13:16.480
They want you to believe that you can't drive close to forest fires, but you can.
01:13:23.000
No, that's bullshit, because there's always fires by me.
01:13:30.200
Dude, I grew up in fucking forest fire central in California.
01:13:36.880
You're sitting next to a tire fire, like, or something.
01:13:39.960
I delivered pizzas in one of the biggest fires in California history.
01:13:44.040
I drove through the fucking fire over and over again.
01:13:57.800
If you smoke in your car every day, yes, it would smell like shit.
01:14:02.860
If you drive through a fire briefly, your fucking car is not going to smell like smoke forever.
01:14:06.660
Maybe Toad should pick up smoking instead of...
01:14:09.180
Because drinking doesn't work for you, but I think smoking...
01:14:11.660
Dude, that would add some cool points, for sure.
01:14:21.480
Like, maybe start doing the zin or whatever that is.
01:14:25.720
No, I want him to smoke fucking camel filterless.
01:14:28.920
He does have that anxious energy that he just needs something to do.
01:14:41.280
Dude, you're not going to get cancer from smoking cigarettes.
01:14:55.980
Are you worried about setting a bad example for your descendants?
01:15:08.060
I mean, I smoke weed, like, very occasionally, but...
01:15:16.080
Like, skip the cigarettes, skip all that bullshit, and just smoke straight.
01:15:30.840
You're trying to be fucking some sort of, like, niche hipster about it.
01:15:34.280
Just buy a fucking pack of cigarettes and smoke cigarettes.
01:15:36.720
Smoke the fucking cowboy killers and don't be a fucking faggot.
01:15:41.200
He's like, no, I've been preparing for this my whole life.
01:15:44.440
I've got a smoking jacket and a fucking top cap, and it's like, shut up.
01:15:56.660
It's super cozy, and I was drinking scotch and...
01:16:04.640
You have no intention on ever selling the place.
01:16:40.340
Why don't you become a professional, like, squirrel suit jumper?
01:16:47.120
Yeah, like you wear a squirrel suit, and like the guys for the Red Bull contest, they do that shit.
01:16:52.180
Yeah, why don't you become one of the Red Bull professionals on YouTube?
01:16:57.660
I'm just trying to fucking just squeeze whatever fucking coolness I can out of you.
01:17:03.580
You've got 10 years left, smoke cigarettes, squirrel suit jump, bang hookers, heroin, heroin on the weekends, just the weekends.
01:17:14.720
You don't have to have any skills to bang a hooker.
01:17:21.780
Honestly, once you start smoking cigarettes and you're fucking in the Red Bull team, you're not going to have to buy women anymore.
01:17:26.880
Dude, I just don't have an ounce of cool in me.
01:17:45.640
It's like I'm just throwing these gems for no reason.
01:17:53.700
Look at the dust growing on those fucking weights.
01:17:56.340
Like you should have like a cigarette burn in your mattress by now.
01:18:00.780
That's the kind of energy you should have in your life.
01:18:22.680
Because I have OCD and autism and I don't even know what else.
01:18:30.940
Instead of being a professional gambling-aholic loser, you should just do drugs.
01:18:40.560
If you're going to have like things that derail your life, like your gambling addiction,
01:18:46.600
like why don't you replace it with something cool like cigarettes?
01:18:53.920
I mean, it is if you're doing it at the highest level.
01:18:58.040
If you're Dan Bilzerian and you make $100 million by fucking gambling, cool.
01:19:15.340
I don't like that shit because these guys just come out of nowhere.
01:19:19.620
No, because he came out of nowhere and now he's like, oh, the Jews.
01:19:23.500
Is it just me or is like gambling earnings like a really, really, really easy way to like
01:19:27.900
launder money and would work really well as some sort of front?
01:19:31.240
That's exactly what happened with the Vegas shooter.
01:19:33.900
Isn't it really weird how this guy showed up to Vegas shooting?
01:19:40.480
Yeah, that's what I'm implying, that he might be a Fed.
01:19:42.460
Two professional gamblers just happened to be there that night.
01:19:45.560
You look at this dude's lifestyle that he's living.
01:19:47.500
He's like, this looks like some sort of like weird CIA cutout.
01:19:53.480
He comes back and all he's got to say is, I don't like Jewish people.
01:20:01.440
On Piers Morgan, he's like, he's like, you know, what happened with your life?
01:20:08.480
He's like, you know, I wasn't even using social media, but then I felt like I had an important
01:20:13.340
So I had to come back after four years and just let people know that the Jews are the
01:20:19.200
I don't think that like, you come out of retirement just to say Jewish people suck.
01:20:32.240
Him, the other dude from Fresh and Fit, Nick Fuentes also might be a Fed, which is hilarious.
01:20:47.720
But yeah, I mean, it was also quite weak-wristed of him.
01:20:55.260
If he had just like fucking shotgun blasted her, that would have been...
01:20:58.960
Yeah, it's something girly about macing somebody.
01:21:01.400
It was very like Bobby Hill, like self-defense type energy is what it felt like.
01:21:06.400
Isn't that like King of the Hill, the sun, Bobby?
01:21:16.100
That's a wild reference, but I'll take your word for it.
01:21:23.540
Because I watched like just a little bit of it, but didn't care.
01:21:51.660
All right, Lainey, I need you to add in, that's my purse.
01:22:04.380
I love how he just kind of slides with his foot like, fuck you, whore.
01:22:18.220
Oh, he didn't have the wherewithal to talk into it.
01:22:25.160
If he would have talked into it and he would have said, my body, your choice, your body,
01:22:34.380
He just picks up the phone after he blinds her and he goes, your body, my choice, bitches.
01:22:46.160
It's like, you know, repeal the 19th, this sort of meme.
01:22:49.760
But because he's saying it, I'm like, but you've never, you're a virgin.
01:22:53.600
It's just kind of like, it's so, if you're going to talk about raping somebody, I want
01:22:57.440
to feel like you have raped that person, you know, or just raped somebody at all.
01:23:02.900
I don't want to hear rape jokes from non-rapists.
01:23:06.340
If you're going to make a rape joke, I need to know there's some possibility there.
01:23:13.580
There's no possibility in which Nick Fuentes actually then takes a woman's body and makes
01:23:21.440
What's that Peterson quote about like a man has to be dangerous?
01:23:23.740
It's that same idea, you know what I'm talking about?
01:23:26.240
Yeah, you have to be dangerous in order to think or something like that.
01:23:29.460
If you're going to talk about rape, I got to know that you could rape.
01:23:32.640
It's like, yeah, you need to be dangerous but in control or something like that.
01:23:35.640
And that makes it more respectable that you don't rape.
01:23:41.600
Because it's like, I'm a rapist but I control myself so I've never raped.
01:24:01.460
Consent isn't even a concept he's even bothered to try to understand.
01:24:05.240
If you're going to look at this guy's face and you're like, does this guy rape?
01:24:11.940
This guy fucks but it's like even more extreme.
01:24:15.460
It's crazy because if not for the UFC existing, he would just be like a top assassin in the
01:24:33.360
It's weird when you see a guy like that, though, seriously, because in olden times, he'd be
01:24:44.820
I mean, and before that, he was just working in a tire shop.
01:24:48.300
Like, this is how weird our society has gotten where like these warrior class type people
01:24:52.620
are just relegated to like normal, doing normal shit.
01:24:57.060
It does seem, it does seem inverted that like, I don't know.
01:25:00.640
I think, I think that we need to like, obviously it's not great to have a hierarchy that's predicated
01:25:08.260
It's a pretty solid one if you're going to have one.
01:25:21.620
Well, that's what, listen, when our nation or when our civilization was based on rape,
01:25:38.300
Dude, this is why the warrior technology existed, right?
01:25:42.860
Because the warrior technology, that was like shit that you shoved up your own ass, right?
01:25:47.900
That was to, like, so that you know what it's like to be raped.
01:25:50.600
People were shoving shit up their own asses to prepare for what?
01:25:53.520
That's an old reference, warrior technology, gay stuff.
01:26:03.020
So I had to go out and I got my own manufacturing basically because I was running into issues
01:26:11.920
But I feel like Shopify is eventually going to catch on because I can't continue to sell
01:26:21.200
It's very, it's not just racist, but there's like sometimes I look at it and I'm like,
01:26:28.780
How long until they take my fucking payment away?
01:26:34.040
So what if I'm sending the proceeds to the Diddy Defense Fund?
01:26:37.260
I think, I think, I mean, I think it's just a matter of prominence.
01:26:45.920
Like, if you were, if you were moving a million dollars worth of merch a month, they would
01:26:54.740
It's the same thing with, it's the same thing with most of our YouTubes.
01:26:57.340
Like, this is why Jose thinks that you can say whatever you want on YouTube.
01:27:00.360
But if he had a hundred thousand subscribers, he would be banned for what he talks about.
01:27:08.120
If Tower Gang had a quarter million views every week, we would be banned.
01:27:12.160
This is why we yell at you all the fucking time about deleting shit off the YouTube.
01:27:16.240
We have kept a YouTube for so long because we have left, like, we've left just a couple
01:27:20.440
episodes or maybe just the latest up on the YouTube.
01:27:26.020
I'm doing it and you should thank me because I'm cluttering the entire channel with Better
01:27:29.000
Off Dead so nobody can find the actual Tower Gang episodes in there.
01:27:32.500
Yeah, but no, those are just more chances for us to get nuked.
01:27:35.500
Wait, so you have Better Off Dead and then you put your shows on the Tower Gang channel
01:27:52.500
I bet our viewers really love getting notifications for Better Off Dead when they're fans of Target.
01:27:58.720
Yeah, there have been a lot of complaints about, like, stop showing the shit on my feed.
01:28:08.740
I can't believe you're doing that to our fucking loyal audience.
01:28:11.320
People say, I used to contribute money to you guys, but I can no longer do this in good
01:28:15.280
conscience due to what you've been doing to the Tower Gang YouTube channel.
01:28:18.880
Well, look, man, if you were taking my advice and betting what I've been telling you to
01:28:25.640
bet over the last month, month and a half or so, you'd be up a decent amount.
01:28:40.440
Are there people that actually bet exactly what you say, or do they just argue with you?
01:28:52.560
Like, there are people that show up, especially for the college football show, there are people
01:28:56.040
that show up every week, and they want me to, like, talk about certain games that they're
01:29:15.160
By the way, I got Joey Poop Bag in here saying, TLC, Timeline Cleanse, Raven Show gets a little
01:29:20.320
pee-pee-poo-poo sometimes, but TG is non-stop, dick-sucking, man-raping gay chicken.
01:29:27.800
I just said something about that I found to be worth mentioning.
01:29:34.400
Timeline Cleanse gets a little pee-pee-poo-poo-poo.
01:29:35.560
Joey Poop Bag is upset that we talk about gay stuff too much?
01:29:41.180
Yeah, Joey Poop Bag is mad that we're too pee-pee-poo-poo.
01:29:45.640
I care about the cause and I care about the movement.
01:29:55.520
He's like, there's fist fights between homeless, you know, minorities.
01:30:04.700
It's a weird thing that he's building over there and I don't like it.
01:30:12.960
There's, like, a weird $2 tier and they're, like, a whole part of it.
01:30:17.920
Because I'm just trying to do a conspiracy show over here.
01:30:27.060
We all have our own, like, weird corners of the internet as well.
01:30:41.840
I like that chick sitting there in the front, man.
01:30:57.700
Yeah, one of them looks like she's, like, totally emaciated.
01:31:03.300
So, he does two and a half thousand views on Rumble about every time he does that.
01:31:08.440
But that's probably, like, a thousand views or something like that.
01:31:17.500
I'm going to take over your channel and kick you out.
01:31:23.700
He's going to slowly make you the production guy and that'll be it.
01:31:31.640
Lose my body for six years for your own sexual gratification.
01:31:37.340
The 27-year-old was sentenced to 85 years in prison for as several female high school students
01:31:46.300
Zachary Scheich disguised himself as a 17-year-old boy
01:31:49.760
and attended to different high schools in Lincoln for a total of 50 for days.
01:31:54.320
During this time, he was accepted into the schools using false documents,
01:31:58.720
including birth certificates, immunization records, transcripts, and medical records.
01:32:03.700
And with his 164 centimeters height and social media targeting,
01:32:08.000
he lured the female high school students into having SEX with him as their boyfriend.
01:32:12.580
It wasn't until June that authorities immediately launched an investigation into Scheich
01:32:17.480
after a parent found out what was going on and contacted the school district.
01:32:21.960
Authorities said Scheich created false documents posing as a 17-year-old student
01:32:26.960
and admitted to having inappropriate relationships with multiple female students.
01:32:32.040
Police say Scheich also asked a 23-year-old woman, Angela Navarro,
01:32:36.760
to pose as his mother to help him get into the school.
01:32:39.680
But she pleaded not guilty to the impersonation charge and was released on bail.
01:32:44.320
Scheich was eventually sentenced to 85 to 120 years in prison.
01:32:54.000
He should be freed from being a genius, obviously.
01:33:01.140
No, see, you know what would have been really hilarious, though,
01:33:03.020
is he pretends to be 17 and he only fucks 18-year-old high schoolers,
01:33:14.840
I just think that at some point you have to appreciate someone's, like, effort.
01:33:21.500
He spent 58 days going to high school just to bang girls.
01:33:30.400
He had more than one girlfriend then in these high schools.
01:33:34.460
Dude, in under two months, he tricked a whole bunch of bitches to fuck him.
01:33:41.000
It's a great scam, and I kind of respect him for it.
01:33:46.740
He actually went to high school 10 years later.
01:33:50.160
You've got to be there at 8 in the morning and do classes.
01:33:54.960
Imagine if he was, like, killing it at all the classes, too.
01:33:57.400
Like, he's fucking all these bitches, and he's, like, acing calculus.
01:34:00.640
It's just what I think is so funny about it is, like,
01:34:05.080
if you could go back with your mind now and just live life again,
01:34:18.180
He went back with his mind of a 27-year-old to a 17-year-old,
01:34:23.140
He's, like, you know what I would do as a 27-year-old?
01:34:32.720
I have acquired all the skills for top-tier teenage pussy crossing.
01:34:39.000
If you can go back with your brain, you would do, like, so much better
01:34:47.180
I could barely tell when a bitch was into me back then, you know?
01:34:49.380
Like, you just don't even know the tells, you know?
01:34:52.680
And, like, he just went back there, and he's, like,
01:34:54.680
he's, like, I'm going to correct everything I did wrong.
01:35:01.860
It's like Harlem Globetrotting on these bitches.
01:35:04.640
How come this never happens in, like, those, you know,
01:35:06.380
like, comedies and whatever where an adult, like, goes back to school?
01:35:09.180
How come they never fuck teenage bitches in those movies?
01:35:11.880
Because it's pedophilia, and you can't really do that in movies.
01:35:16.240
Dude, I bet you those movies that they did that in the 80s and shit,
01:35:23.060
I don't think they were trying to normalize shit.
01:35:29.760
we should probably bring this discussion over to the penthouse.
01:35:33.600
Yeah, that's a good idea, because I do have questions.
01:35:40.980
and what we really feel, because now I do have a lot of questions about that.
01:35:54.380
I just wanted to say it with him looking through.
01:36:17.340
Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang.
01:36:30.900
Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang.
01:36:32.840
Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang.
01:36:42.980
It's so fucking hard to line up the syllables and all that.
01:36:49.640
Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang.