Tower Gang - Ep 204 - Chasing the R＊tarded Dragon

00:00:00.000 Federal agent.

00:00:01.700 Imagine all the people

00:00:05.280 living life in peace.

00:00:11.560 You may say I'm a dreamer.

00:00:20.300 But I'm not the only one.

00:00:24.080 I hope someday you'll join the news.

00:00:34.420 And the world will be gone.

00:00:54.080 I've been reprying for another one.

00:00:58.040 And in the background of mine, I was like,

00:00:59.320 it would be me that gets a retarded baby.

00:01:01.320 But it would be so cool.

00:01:02.380 And I'm like,

00:01:03.460 you and your down.

00:01:07.900 Nah, that's a good point.

00:01:09.460 He just had his dick in her.

00:01:15.780 Why are we talking about

00:01:16.900 on this show?

00:01:21.580 That's too far.

00:01:22.560 I'm asking you a question.

00:01:25.940 I'm asking you a question.

00:01:27.220 Start.

00:01:28.400 Whoa, with the feet.

00:01:29.660 Skip the pussy.

00:01:30.840 Skip it.

00:01:31.500 It's not what this show is about.

00:01:33.060 This shit is retarded.

00:01:37.780 It's Wednesday at 9-11 sharp.

00:01:40.080 And if you're a minute late,

00:01:41.240 then you missed out.

00:01:42.640 Thank you so much for tuning in.

00:01:43.960 9-11.

00:01:44.360 I see it right there.

00:01:45.260 9-11.

00:01:47.420 I'm clapping.

00:01:48.700 Did we lose Jose?

00:01:50.740 Good.

00:01:51.020 Jose is a tiny man.

00:01:54.120 And he'll be here shortly.

00:01:55.220 He's running late.

00:01:55.800 Bro, I was vibing hard

00:01:57.320 to those fucking retards singing.

00:01:59.240 Yeah.

00:01:59.640 Bro, like,

00:02:00.740 when they put our faces on it,

00:02:02.120 I was like,

00:02:02.520 is there any difference?

00:02:03.860 No, there's not.

00:02:04.960 And honestly,

00:02:05.420 there wasn't a difference.

00:02:06.780 Dude, that was so much better

00:02:07.680 than that celebrity one

00:02:09.100 that they put out

00:02:09.640 all singing that.

00:02:11.520 It was way less retarded.

00:02:12.900 Yeah.

00:02:13.080 I didn't see that.

00:02:14.700 Yeah, you did.

00:02:15.220 It's the 80s,

00:02:15.960 like the We Are the Children.

00:02:17.700 No, no, no.

00:02:18.220 It was like during COVID.

00:02:19.620 Like a bunch of the celebrities

00:02:20.540 used to say it like that.

00:02:22.040 Put out a video.

00:02:23.040 COVID.

00:02:23.960 Put out a video.

00:02:25.180 Because I'm from

00:02:26.340 the South Shore of Massachusetts, man.

00:02:28.500 That's apparently how we talk.

00:02:29.720 Hey, Toad,

00:02:30.200 you know how you thought

00:02:31.180 you saw yourself

00:02:33.020 on the news again?

00:02:35.320 Yeah, that wasn't me.

00:02:36.100 Then you realized

00:02:36.600 that it was a black man?

00:02:37.460 Yeah.

00:02:37.620 I was thinking to myself,

00:02:38.840 you know how you're built backwards?

00:02:39.880 Maybe you were built,

00:02:40.840 like maybe you were supposed

00:02:41.720 to be black,

00:02:43.020 but you were built backwards

00:02:44.000 so you came out white

00:02:44.900 and unathletic.

00:02:45.620 Can you ever think about that?

00:02:47.680 Whoa.

00:02:48.540 Your mom fucked a black guy.

00:02:50.120 And with a small dick too.

00:02:51.980 You're built blackwards.

00:02:54.540 Built blackwards.

00:02:55.440 Built blackwards.

00:02:59.120 I'm glad we figured this out.

00:03:01.560 I just like,

00:03:02.420 I like that,

00:03:03.180 like Toad sent us

00:03:04.960 that clip this morning

00:03:06.080 where it's just like casually

00:03:07.380 he's in the news

00:03:08.280 and it's just,

00:03:09.300 it's so bizarre to see him,

00:03:11.900 right,

00:03:12.680 in the news

00:03:13.280 and he's just like giving

00:03:14.080 his better off ditch,

00:03:14.960 but he's like,

00:03:15.220 well,

00:03:15.860 the team can pull it together,

00:03:17.340 okay,

00:03:17.960 and I think we're going to do

00:03:18.980 better in the second half.

00:03:20.100 No,

00:03:20.240 no,

00:03:20.400 no,

00:03:20.540 no,

00:03:20.700 he literally goes like,

00:03:21.860 if you want to find it,

00:03:23.080 just look up,

00:03:23.700 no,

00:03:24.820 I'm just kidding,

00:03:25.160 I'm not going to dock shit.

00:03:26.300 Oh,

00:03:26.620 you have it.

00:03:28.060 All right,

00:03:28.500 so I don't know,

00:03:29.160 did they put my name on it?

00:03:30.380 I don't know,

00:03:30.700 but I don't know,

00:03:31.260 play it,

00:03:31.640 play it to find out.

00:03:32.720 They did,

00:03:33.660 they did put his name.

00:03:34.700 Again,

00:03:34.980 that new

00:03:35.400 will spark the team.

00:03:37.160 I would expect the players

00:03:38.120 on the ice,

00:03:38.980 we just need a coach

00:03:39.780 that is confident

00:03:40.420 in these players.

00:03:41.260 Look at this retard.

00:03:41.960 He can't help himself.

00:03:53.180 He has to immediately

00:03:54.120 give betting advice.

00:03:55.460 He did.

00:03:56.000 That's what he was doing.

00:03:57.020 I just want to make sure

00:03:57.580 people know.

00:03:57.940 I did,

00:03:58.040 so this is what happened,

00:03:58.880 so this dude,

00:03:59.960 I was going to the Celtics game

00:04:01.160 last night,

00:04:01.720 Celtics Cavs,

00:04:02.460 and this reporter

00:04:03.260 was walking down the street,

00:04:04.020 I saw him with a camera

00:04:05.620 walking right towards me,

00:04:06.820 and he goes,

00:04:07.740 hey,

00:04:08.020 you a Bruins fan?

00:04:08.880 I'm like,

00:04:09.160 yeah,

00:04:09.880 and he's like,

00:04:10.520 you want to answer some questions?

00:04:11.520 I'm like,

00:04:11.900 all right,

00:04:12.820 what do you think

00:04:13.380 of the Bruins?

00:04:13.920 I was like,

00:04:14.360 they fucking suck,

00:04:15.780 and he didn't include that.

00:04:18.660 Bastard,

00:04:19.060 can you pull the video back up?

00:04:21.580 Have you heard of the FPC,

00:04:22.680 or the FCC,

00:04:23.740 or whatever it is?

00:04:24.660 He told me they'd fire their coach.

00:04:26.200 I didn't even know that,

00:04:27.160 and I went,

00:04:27.580 they fired him?

00:04:28.580 Yeah,

00:04:29.120 fuck yeah,

00:04:29.560 and apparently the sentiment

00:04:30.660 from everybody else was,

00:04:31.340 just play it on mute,

00:04:32.140 like all the people,

00:04:33.000 all the people they talked to.

00:04:34.600 So then I told them

00:04:35.680 about the fired coach spot,

00:04:37.760 and this is what they edited it down to.

00:04:40.480 Here's on,

00:04:40.940 we're watching it on mute.

00:04:42.120 Faggot.

00:04:43.260 Faggot.

00:04:43.740 100% faggot.

00:04:44.780 They had a cast type.

00:04:45.740 100% faggot.

00:04:46.600 Look at the next dude.

00:04:48.440 Faggot.

00:04:49.380 That's the bottom to the guy before,

00:04:52.120 by the way.

00:04:52.940 Works at a wah-wah.

00:04:53.900 Faggot.

00:04:54.140 He's not a faggot.

00:04:55.060 This guy's not a faggot.

00:04:56.020 That's definitely a faggot.

00:04:57.700 They picked the same dude.

00:04:59.200 They were cast typing

00:05:00.140 retarded looking white dude.

00:05:01.380 Every dude in Boston looks like that.

00:05:03.240 Yeah,

00:05:03.600 that's just everybody from Boston.

00:05:05.980 That's a good summation.

00:05:07.120 Toad apparently said

00:05:08.320 he shouted out Tower Gang,

00:05:09.740 and they didn't include it,

00:05:10.880 which is crazy to me.

00:05:11.540 Yeah,

00:05:11.720 because they asked me at the end,

00:05:12.780 like,

00:05:12.840 do we believe him, though?

00:05:13.880 Anything else you want to add?

00:05:14.240 I believe him there.

00:05:15.080 Yeah,

00:05:15.280 that makes sense.

00:05:16.040 I believe him 100%.

00:05:16.960 I believe everything he says.

00:05:17.780 I said Tower Gang tomorrow night, baby.

00:05:20.200 I just want to...

00:05:20.780 Just get that in there.

00:05:22.700 Just in seconds in there,

00:05:24.020 people will be like,

00:05:24.500 what the fuck is Tower Gang?

00:05:25.520 I'm out of it amazing.

00:05:26.740 Somewhere out there is that footage.

00:05:28.720 They have to have it.

00:05:29.880 Like,

00:05:30.020 I feel like they have all this stuff,

00:05:31.660 and they have transcribed

00:05:33.500 all the things.

00:05:34.080 It's on the cutting room floor somewhere.

00:05:35.380 Yeah,

00:05:35.900 somewhere.

00:05:36.200 It doesn't do us any good

00:05:37.120 if we get it at this point.

00:05:38.340 Like,

00:05:38.520 we needed it to be on TV.

00:05:39.840 Yeah,

00:05:40.040 it had to be on TV.

00:05:40.900 Just look at Toad on TV.

00:05:42.440 Put it back.

00:05:43.060 I mean,

00:05:43.860 yeah,

00:05:44.020 in fact,

00:05:44.540 it was a dude who has the same name as you.

00:05:46.360 I want to see...

00:05:46.920 It's a Jason Tatum jersey

00:05:48.340 that I had on last night.

00:05:49.500 I want to see Toad on TV more.

00:05:51.620 Like,

00:05:51.820 just look at his face.

00:05:52.900 You literally want Toad to have

00:05:54.680 his own reality TV show.

00:05:56.660 I want him to...

00:05:57.360 Not just his own...

00:05:58.080 I actually sent you...

00:05:59.480 Did you submit for

00:06:00.720 Love on the Spectrum?

00:06:03.220 Oh,

00:06:03.600 shit,

00:06:03.780 I gotta do that.

00:06:04.420 Fuck.

00:06:04.780 Yeah,

00:06:04.980 I gotta do that.

00:06:05.760 You gotta do it.

00:06:07.060 This...

00:06:07.660 Well,

00:06:07.900 it's been rough.

00:06:13.900 You look exactly like that Satanic tranny.

00:06:16.420 How?

00:06:17.340 I'm still getting tagged

00:06:18.960 in videos of that,

00:06:20.000 of that tranny.

00:06:20.840 Like,

00:06:21.040 today,

00:06:21.520 I got tagged multiple times.

00:06:23.980 And one of the tags was somebody saying,

00:06:25.720 don't tag Toad in this anymore.

00:06:29.760 It's good.

00:06:30.480 Good stuff.

00:06:31.520 Now,

00:06:31.720 you got...

00:06:31.940 Listen,

00:06:32.160 don't get us off track.

00:06:33.120 You gotta apply to this shit.

00:06:34.280 I'm telling you.

00:06:34.820 Yeah.

00:06:35.100 I need to see you on Netflix.

00:06:36.880 That would just be

00:06:37.600 the greatest shit ever.

00:06:39.600 If I could just turn on Netflix

00:06:40.700 and play Toad's episode.

00:06:42.100 Do you think he would crush?

00:06:43.500 He would fucking crush, bro.

00:06:45.520 Have you seen the other guy?

00:06:46.400 On the camera.

00:06:47.000 Like,

00:06:47.220 on TV camera,

00:06:48.480 endearing.

00:06:48.960 I don't know what it is about it.

00:06:49.880 I have so much more game

00:06:51.020 than these retards.

00:06:52.120 In person?

00:06:52.480 I feel like he actually

00:06:53.040 would have more game.

00:06:53.400 I can't stand this guy.

00:06:54.080 When I see him on the news,

00:06:55.640 I totally agree with Top.

00:06:56.680 Like,

00:06:56.860 I was like,

00:06:57.500 look at this handsome little

00:06:58.560 fucking around guy.

00:06:59.300 There was literally,

00:07:00.080 I saw a...

00:07:00.400 He's like an everyman's man

00:07:01.560 in that situation.

00:07:01.960 I saw a clip.

00:07:02.780 I saw a clip.

00:07:03.740 It seemed like a...

00:07:04.440 He's not everyman.

00:07:05.180 I saw a clip.

00:07:07.260 It was like...

00:07:07.980 This is the guy.

00:07:09.020 This is the most endearing dude

00:07:10.640 on that show.

00:07:11.940 He's got a half a million followers.

00:07:13.580 This could very easily be Toad.

00:07:15.140 Just like...

00:07:15.960 Oh, Jesus.

00:07:17.000 It's kind of crazy

00:07:17.640 that it's not Toad.

00:07:18.060 I was hanging out

00:07:19.880 with some friends.

00:07:21.340 He talks just like Toad.

00:07:22.380 Turn this up.

00:07:23.000 And one of the customers

00:07:24.520 at the store

00:07:26.060 wished to watch

00:07:27.520 the boxing match

00:07:29.300 between Mike Tyson

00:07:30.340 and Jake Paul.

00:07:32.080 So the owner attempted

00:07:33.200 to play

00:07:34.760 a live stream

00:07:35.740 of that match

00:07:36.580 on a television set.

00:07:38.560 See how he's all breathy?

00:07:39.300 The television displayed

00:07:40.320 a message saying that

00:07:41.480 this device is not compatible

00:07:43.240 with this device.

00:07:44.420 I think I met this guy

00:07:45.320 the other day, actually.

00:07:46.620 Oh.

00:07:47.800 What I was saying is...

00:07:48.760 So I saw...

00:07:49.640 I saw a...

00:07:51.440 Like a clip

00:07:52.480 of a guy.

00:07:53.260 I think it looked like

00:07:54.160 it was from Love on the Spectrum

00:07:55.360 or some type of show

00:07:56.380 like that.

00:07:57.080 But it was obviously

00:07:58.120 a Downs girl.

00:07:59.340 And then obviously

00:08:00.100 like an autistic guy.

00:08:01.500 Like it was...

00:08:01.980 It was kind of mismatched

00:08:03.200 there.

00:08:03.660 And the autistic guy

00:08:04.980 is just going on.

00:08:05.560 He's like asking her questions.

00:08:06.540 And all of a sudden

00:08:06.800 he just stops

00:08:07.320 and he goes like,

00:08:08.480 I have nothing more to say

00:08:09.480 but I'm having a really good time.

00:08:11.300 And like he just...

00:08:12.300 Let's just...

00:08:12.900 And I feel like

00:08:13.420 that would be Tony.

00:08:14.120 I watched that episode.

00:08:15.260 It was fucking amazing.

00:08:16.080 He's like,

00:08:16.400 I'm out of things to say

00:08:17.240 but I'm having a good time.

00:08:18.000 And she just goes,

00:08:18.680 I'm having a good time too.

00:08:21.060 And I'm like...

00:08:22.060 Didn't we...

00:08:24.820 We were in Georgia

00:08:25.500 when we discussed this, right?

00:08:26.640 Toad actually admitted.

00:08:27.940 He's like,

00:08:28.600 I'd be okay

00:08:29.460 dating a girl

00:08:30.300 with Down Syndrome.

00:08:31.380 Yeah, he said...

00:08:32.180 I think he said he...

00:08:33.280 Didn't you say

00:08:33.760 you'd prefer

00:08:34.260 a retarded chick?

00:08:36.500 This is...

00:08:37.160 Well, it's fucking rough.

00:08:39.380 Fucking...

00:08:40.180 That's a criminal offense, Tyler.

00:08:42.520 Just to hit him

00:08:43.060 with that twice, dude.

00:08:43.860 Who put that together?

00:08:46.840 I don't know

00:08:47.540 but that's hilarious.

00:08:48.480 It's got to be a Tyler.

00:08:49.360 Wow, that's crazy.

00:08:51.220 It's a Tyler edit.

00:08:52.040 Bam, bam, bam, bam.

00:08:53.500 Dude, it's definitely grippy.

00:08:54.900 They definitely grip hard.

00:08:56.780 Like grabbing their crayons hard.

00:08:59.320 You think they got

00:08:59.900 retarded pussy strength?

00:09:01.100 Yes.

00:09:01.680 100% dude.

00:09:02.980 Oh my God, yeah.

00:09:03.660 I think it might actually hurt you.

00:09:05.400 Oh my God, yeah.

00:09:06.340 Yeah.

00:09:08.980 Also, I feel like

00:09:10.000 they would be just...

00:09:11.040 Dude, if you fuck a retard

00:09:11.920 the first time,

00:09:12.680 you can't ever go back.

00:09:14.420 No.

00:09:14.960 You know?

00:09:15.480 You're chasing the dragon

00:09:16.400 at that point.

00:09:17.060 Once you got that grip, like...

00:09:18.620 Yeah.

00:09:19.280 Chasing the retarded dragon.

00:09:20.840 I mean, I think if you can get past...

00:09:22.540 You can't get out of them.

00:09:23.760 If you can get past

00:09:24.800 like them ignoring

00:09:26.400 their body hygiene,

00:09:27.560 I think it would be

00:09:28.600 something that you would

00:09:29.700 want to explore again again.

00:09:30.440 I think you treat them

00:09:31.320 like a baby

00:09:32.300 and you wash them yourselves.

00:09:33.900 You're like,

00:09:34.200 it's bath time

00:09:34.900 and then you wash them down

00:09:36.360 and then they smell nice.

00:09:37.860 It's bath time

00:09:37.880 and then you go,

00:09:38.520 now it's fucking fucking time.

00:09:40.320 Now it's fucking time.

00:09:40.580 Yeah, yeah.

00:09:41.080 So you wash them down

00:09:42.100 and then you just

00:09:43.060 stick your penis in them

00:09:44.040 and like it's crazy.

00:09:45.460 That seems illegal

00:09:46.100 to be honest.

00:09:47.300 It's not legal.

00:09:48.060 You wash them down

00:09:49.080 and then dick them down.

00:09:49.960 You wash your chicken

00:09:50.620 before you fuck it,

00:09:51.460 you know?

00:09:51.800 And they have down.

00:09:52.640 Do you wash your chicken

00:09:55.260 before you fuck it?

00:09:58.440 Wash your retard

00:09:59.320 before you glaze it.

00:10:00.560 Some guys like the

00:10:01.740 kind of like stank,

00:10:04.680 the musk, you know?

00:10:07.340 Do you think retards

00:10:08.460 have a particular stank?

00:10:09.880 Is it unique to tards?

00:10:11.820 Like an extra chromosome stank?

00:10:13.500 Yeah.

00:10:13.860 Oh no, yeah.

00:10:14.920 That shit stinks.

00:10:16.420 It stank different, for sure.

00:10:18.340 That's what I'm saying.

00:10:18.920 It stank different?

00:10:19.780 Hold on, I gotta bring it up.

00:10:20.800 It stank different.

00:10:21.840 Do you wash your chicken

00:10:22.860 or do you fuck it?

00:10:23.960 But this is the new hat

00:10:24.900 at Top Lobster.

00:10:25.640 This is a Tower Gang hat.

00:10:27.020 Do you wash your chicken?

00:10:27.980 Do you wash your chicken

00:10:28.720 in Chinese fucking chicken

00:10:30.120 up there?

00:10:30.580 And then, you know,

00:10:31.580 you're doing wash shit.

00:10:32.400 We did it in black and white.

00:10:33.360 So we, yeah, man.

00:10:35.200 I just don't think

00:10:36.780 Josie knows this shit.

00:10:38.080 I just, like, she's like,

00:10:39.220 sorry boys, downs all have

00:10:40.620 low core strength,

00:10:41.520 pussy weakness.

00:10:42.140 I don't even believe this.

00:10:43.160 I can't.

00:10:43.520 I don't even believe that.

00:10:44.940 She's just trying to.

00:10:46.240 She's just trying to.

00:10:46.260 She's just trying to.

00:10:46.280 She's just trying to.

00:10:49.220 Keep the competition low.

00:10:50.960 Yeah, what the fuck

00:10:51.620 is that supposed to mean?

00:10:52.640 Like, these down syndrome girls

00:10:56.040 just don't have strong pussies?

00:10:57.740 Like, I don't believe that at all.

00:10:58.700 Here's what you got to do

00:10:59.520 with the down syndrome girl.

00:11:00.840 Strong, stinky pussies, man.

00:11:03.960 And they would,

00:11:04.460 they would, like,

00:11:05.200 crush gummy bears inside.

00:11:06.680 This is what you do

00:11:07.300 with the downs girl, Cole.

00:11:08.480 You fill them with beans,

00:11:10.580 you fuck the beans,

00:11:11.720 and then you sell it.

00:11:13.000 There you go.

00:11:13.960 Wait, you sell the retard?

00:11:15.260 Sell the whole retard.

00:11:16.760 I'm sorry.

00:11:17.700 I understand you're

00:11:18.280 a neuromuscular therapist.

00:11:20.240 Like, were you fingering

00:11:21.820 down syndrome girls

00:11:23.240 and being like,

00:11:23.800 totally different than mine?

00:11:25.560 Like, what are you talking about?

00:11:27.160 Get out of here.

00:11:27.720 This sounds like

00:11:28.980 admission of guilt.

00:11:30.440 I don't know.

00:11:31.040 You got to figure out

00:11:31.660 which retard full of beans

00:11:33.820 is the best of fuck

00:11:35.420 is the question.

00:11:36.120 Which retard filled with beans?

00:11:40.680 Now we've classified

00:11:42.500 a retard as, like, a dildo.

00:11:44.300 Which, honestly,

00:11:45.620 if they had a job.

00:11:47.180 We skipped over it,

00:11:48.500 but I think we already

00:11:50.440 have a show title.

00:11:51.180 It's Chasing the Retarded Dragon.

00:11:54.720 You're chasing the retarded dragon.

00:11:56.740 That's a hell of a title.

00:11:58.080 Which is more unethical,

00:11:59.560 to fuck, like,

00:12:00.380 an AI robot thingy

00:12:02.040 or to fuck a retard?

00:12:03.220 That's not unethical at all.

00:12:05.540 Neither are unethical at all.

00:12:06.980 I guess maybe not AI.

00:12:08.360 Like, if you're saying,

00:12:09.240 like, a robot,

00:12:10.220 like, because you're literally just...

00:12:11.420 I don't know,

00:12:11.620 something's weird about that.

00:12:12.660 Like, a full life-size,

00:12:14.020 like, sex robot.

00:12:16.100 Something's odd about that.

00:12:16.800 So, you're not asking about

00:12:18.020 unethical.

00:12:18.820 You're asking about

00:12:19.500 which one makes God more sad.

00:12:21.800 Oh, there you go.

00:12:22.520 Isn't that what ethics

00:12:23.440 are based on?

00:12:24.580 No.

00:12:24.840 No, you have no ethics, though.

00:12:26.080 You don't believe in God.

00:12:27.060 I'm talking about God.

00:12:29.020 Honestly, I feel like

00:12:29.840 most ethics are against God.

00:12:31.460 So, I mean, like,

00:12:32.160 that's...

00:12:33.120 What?

00:12:34.060 I don't know.

00:12:34.500 I think you mean ethnics.

00:12:36.860 That's...

00:12:37.420 You know what?

00:12:37.820 You're right.

00:12:38.520 That's what I was thinking.

00:12:39.580 I didn't understand

00:12:40.460 this ethics word.

00:12:41.520 Most ethnics are...

00:12:42.760 I'm a little drunk.

00:12:43.880 That makes sense.

00:12:44.500 That makes a lot more sense.

00:12:45.400 What makes God more sad?

00:12:47.580 That's it.

00:12:48.080 Like, fucking a...

00:12:49.040 Blacked on crack.

00:12:50.600 Fucking a robot.

00:12:51.640 For sure.

00:12:52.380 No.

00:12:52.720 Fucking a robot.

00:12:53.380 No, I think he's fucking a retard.

00:12:54.740 He's like, I...

00:12:55.740 These were not supposed...

00:12:57.060 Like, I understand...

00:12:57.820 You think God doesn't want

00:12:58.660 retards to have love?

00:13:00.060 I don't think he wants

00:13:00.700 retards to exist.

00:13:01.640 Well, dude,

00:13:02.260 downs people can't...

00:13:03.200 They can't procreate.

00:13:04.080 He's literally God.

00:13:04.940 God doesn't want them fucking.

00:13:07.060 Think about it.

00:13:07.820 No, I think it was...

00:13:08.700 It was our fuck-ups...

00:13:09.980 Our fuck-ups caused

00:13:11.140 retarded people.

00:13:12.380 Our successes caused AI.

00:13:14.340 Or they are happy men.

00:13:15.220 It's like he's going like...

00:13:17.620 It's two different things.

00:13:18.640 Two different sides of the spectrum.

00:13:19.560 Do you think the person

00:13:19.740 who created a sex robot

00:13:20.540 was like,

00:13:21.140 I want to fuck a downs person,

00:13:22.940 but I don't want to, like,

00:13:23.540 go through the hassle of it,

00:13:24.480 so I'm just going to create...

00:13:25.720 He's like,

00:13:26.020 I don't want to have to

00:13:26.580 wash it afterwards.

00:13:27.620 I'm just going to make a robot.

00:13:28.420 It's a very similar experience.

00:13:29.780 You better wash

00:13:30.600 your sex robot afterwards,

00:13:31.600 all right?

00:13:32.280 That's disgusting.

00:13:32.940 Self-washing sex robot

00:13:34.220 is that what you call

00:13:34.900 your retarded fuck-the-fuck pig?

00:13:36.580 Do you guys know

00:13:37.040 what this is?

00:13:38.000 Retardio?

00:13:38.680 It's like the Latin word,

00:13:40.540 and it means...

00:13:41.260 It means return to God.

00:13:43.160 It is not.

00:13:44.320 There's no fucking way.

00:13:45.140 It does.

00:13:45.560 Retardio means return to God.

00:13:47.300 So here's...

00:13:47.680 When you have retard

00:13:48.580 and then you have Dio

00:13:49.900 and they're separate,

00:13:50.980 it's not good.

00:13:51.980 You have to be retardio.

00:13:54.160 So our base...

00:13:55.320 I think our base standard

00:13:57.040 should be retarded,

00:13:58.200 and everything above that

00:13:59.200 is a disrespect to God.

00:14:01.220 Clint is an affront to God.

00:14:03.180 High IQ.

00:14:04.140 Toad is an affront to God

00:14:05.220 because of how he's built.

00:14:06.620 Cole,

00:14:07.540 God loves you, man.

00:14:09.200 He fucking loves you.

00:14:09.940 He fucking retards

00:14:11.100 the most ethical thing

00:14:12.100 you can do.

00:14:13.600 Yes.

00:14:14.620 Do you disagree?

00:14:15.960 There's nothing more ethical.

00:14:17.160 If it wasn't for tard rape,

00:14:18.600 I'd never get laid.

00:14:23.360 Hold on.

00:14:24.880 What?

00:14:26.320 It was a date rape riff

00:14:27.660 off of Sublime.

00:14:29.020 Oh, that's...

00:14:29.700 Yeah, Sublime date rape.

00:14:30.700 I know the song.

00:14:31.600 If it wasn't for tard rape,

00:14:32.920 I'd never get laid.

00:14:34.540 All right.

00:14:34.720 Well, that's quite the admission there, guys.

00:14:36.820 That's my anthem.

00:14:39.020 All right.

00:14:40.160 What the fuck are you doing, Cole?

00:14:41.540 You completely figured out

00:14:42.340 if you were like, wait.

00:14:43.120 I'm trying to send Tyler

00:14:44.160 a video.

00:14:45.540 Okay.

00:14:46.020 Well, you said it in a way

00:14:46.800 that we should pay attention.

00:14:47.720 I didn't mean it like raping retards.

00:14:49.140 I was talking like,

00:14:50.020 Cole,

00:14:50.580 if it wasn't for...

00:14:52.500 You could...

00:14:52.920 Like, Cole couldn't fuck...

00:14:54.400 If you weren't allowed

00:14:55.280 to fuck a retard,

00:14:56.000 then he wouldn't get...

00:14:56.640 This is really good.

00:14:57.720 Somebody needs to clip this part

00:14:59.160 of Clint talking about

00:15:00.700 retard rape

00:15:01.440 and us just going like...

00:15:02.720 Is it possible to even have

00:15:08.120 consensual sex with a retard?

00:15:09.720 Like, can they consent?

00:15:10.860 I bet you there's like a whole...

00:15:12.040 We've gone over this so many times.

00:15:12.920 Have we?

00:15:13.240 I don't know.

00:15:13.580 There's probably a whole area

00:15:14.620 of law dedicated to this.

00:15:17.320 Can you imagine being like

00:15:18.580 the world's top attorney

00:15:20.100 for retard fucking...

00:15:21.460 A whole tone...

00:15:22.140 There's someone out there.

00:15:23.440 Someone out there is always like...

00:15:24.720 I always love that

00:15:26.440 there's someone out there

00:15:27.340 that is the foremost expert

00:15:29.520 on any topic.

00:15:31.360 Literally, throw out any topic.

00:15:32.760 There's someone out there

00:15:33.500 that is the most expert.

00:15:34.840 There's a legal expert

00:15:34.900 you bring in for retard sex?

00:15:36.900 Yeah, there's literally

00:15:37.660 someone out there.

00:15:38.200 There's a whole 43 of expertise.

00:15:39.840 There's someone who's dedicated

00:15:40.720 decades of their legal expertise

00:15:42.680 to retard sex.

00:15:44.060 I wouldn't say decades.

00:15:45.280 Like, it's just...

00:15:45.880 They have the most knowledge

00:15:48.360 and expertise on a topic

00:15:50.220 and that topic is retard sex.

00:15:52.040 I can imagine like Dr. Phil

00:15:53.740 interviewing this expert

00:15:54.980 and then the chyron beneath him

00:15:56.760 is like world's top expert

00:15:59.200 on retard sex.

00:16:00.140 You're just like,

00:16:00.760 this is fucking unbelievable.

00:16:02.100 I don't know why,

00:16:02.700 but Clint singing

00:16:04.500 made me think of this.

00:16:05.880 Tyler, if you want to bring this up,

00:16:07.080 I see you down there with it.

00:16:08.440 Yes, well, I'm...

00:16:09.340 And I just wanted...

00:16:10.180 This made me laugh

00:16:11.020 because you definitely need

00:16:13.040 the music.

00:16:13.820 John Robertson, I'm a...

00:16:15.560 I'm sure you don't want to wake up.

00:16:17.540 Everything is fucked.

00:16:18.640 Everybody sucks.

00:16:19.860 You don't really know why.

00:16:21.280 But you want to justify

00:16:22.340 ripping someone's head.

00:16:23.740 Like eight-year-old me

00:16:34.380 dancing at the wedding.

00:16:39.760 That's what I love.

00:16:41.620 Dude.

00:16:42.140 Yo, it's the 100% pudgy

00:16:44.080 eight-year-old me

00:16:44.760 dancing at a wedding.

00:16:46.240 That fucks, though.

00:16:47.920 That fucks.

00:16:48.880 That was great.

00:16:49.480 Did you read the caption?

00:16:50.340 It said,

00:16:50.720 this is like a person

00:16:51.700 that is like a

00:16:52.600 obviously male-to-female

00:16:54.580 transgender

00:16:55.160 that is doing

00:16:56.620 intuitive dance.

00:16:59.220 I've done it.

00:16:59.920 I've done that song on you.

00:17:02.320 It's on Twitter somewhere.

00:17:04.260 It's great.

00:17:06.260 This is what you see.

00:17:07.500 This is probably what you see

00:17:08.560 at a fucking

00:17:09.100 limbicic concert these days.

00:17:10.600 That's true.

00:17:11.000 You told us to go to one.

00:17:12.200 Remember that?

00:17:12.780 Yeah, we were supposed to go

00:17:13.480 for my birthday.

00:17:14.080 We didn't.

00:17:14.940 Yeah, we didn't go.

00:17:15.840 I bet you would see that there.

00:17:18.820 Maybe.

00:17:19.340 I hope so.

00:17:20.020 It'd be fun.

00:17:20.840 Guy Fieri is in the chat.

00:17:22.340 That is like

00:17:24.540 white Michelle Obama

00:17:25.320 right there.

00:17:26.000 For sure.

00:17:27.000 Your take is that

00:17:28.620 her pussy is super tight.

00:17:30.660 No, that's a dude.

00:17:32.640 Oh, well, probably tight.

00:17:35.020 Oh, yeah.

00:17:35.700 100% tight.

00:17:36.320 That pussy is tight.

00:17:37.020 That pussy is definitely tight.

00:17:38.740 Probably.

00:17:39.520 Super tight pussy.

00:17:40.220 Who would fuck it?

00:17:41.980 Limp Lena.

00:17:43.180 Lena Dunham.

00:17:44.060 It did look like Lena Dunham.

00:17:45.360 I was trying to think of the name

00:17:47.040 and I couldn't think of the name.

00:17:47.860 By the way,

00:17:48.200 we got to pull up

00:17:49.260 Lena Dunham's latest

00:17:50.280 photo that was released.

00:17:52.340 She's double Lena.

00:17:54.920 That was it, right?

00:17:56.200 She's doubling up?

00:17:57.300 She double X?

00:17:58.120 She's double Lena.

00:17:59.320 She's double Lena.

00:18:00.120 She was already

00:18:01.160 a fucking fat woman.

00:18:01.840 She got two times bigger?

00:18:03.200 Yeah.

00:18:04.400 There's no fucking way.

00:18:05.540 She was in the opposite direction.

00:18:06.800 Lena Dunham would be

00:18:07.840 the type of woman

00:18:08.420 to actually eat

00:18:09.180 another Lena Dunham.

00:18:10.900 Exactly.

00:18:11.560 There can only be one.

00:18:13.900 You must reside inside of me.

00:18:15.360 Filling the void

00:18:16.120 that Lizzo left

00:18:17.020 when she slimmed down.

00:18:18.160 Yeah, did she eat

00:18:18.200 all of Lizzo's extra ones?

00:18:19.260 Oh, my God.

00:18:19.680 It looks like Meghan McCain.

00:18:20.940 That's all it looks like.

00:18:21.660 No, but you got to see

00:18:22.620 her body to understand

00:18:23.600 she is fat, fat.

00:18:25.160 What's wrong with her, though?

00:18:26.440 Because I feel like

00:18:27.140 she keeps doing this.

00:18:27.820 She's liberal.

00:18:28.680 A lot of things, yeah.

00:18:30.120 I forgot.

00:18:30.900 What was she famous for?

00:18:33.120 Girls.

00:18:33.760 Girls.

00:18:34.580 A liberal bitch

00:18:35.480 on some TV show.

00:18:37.260 I really enjoyed it.

00:18:38.060 Great show.

00:18:38.920 It can't be that great

00:18:40.380 of a show

00:18:40.780 if I never heard of it.

00:18:41.500 It's about five girls.

00:18:44.300 It's like five young girls

00:18:45.280 sex in the city, basically.

00:18:46.320 It's five young girls

00:18:46.880 in New York.

00:18:47.300 She's a great show.

00:18:48.540 And she was supposed

00:18:51.420 to be a sex icon

00:18:52.380 or was she just supposed

00:18:53.260 to be the fat, lumpy bitch?

00:18:54.840 No, it was just her

00:18:55.520 and a bunch of quasi-attractive

00:18:57.580 New York broads

00:18:58.420 that were her friends.

00:18:59.180 I guess Second City

00:18:59.980 was kind of like that.

00:19:00.940 None of them were

00:19:01.560 technically attractive.

00:19:02.900 Sarah Michelle Gellar is ugly.

00:19:04.020 You had the one hot blonde bitch.

00:19:06.400 What's her name?

00:19:07.000 Sarah Jessica Parker, I mean.

00:19:08.400 She fingered her sister?

00:19:09.600 Ugly.

00:19:10.020 Oh, by the way, no, no.

00:19:10.680 I've heard this story.

00:19:11.780 Apparently, she wrote about it, too,

00:19:13.300 which is insane.

00:19:14.880 Yeah, it's a wild thing to do, yeah.

00:19:17.700 I mean, but who hasn't, right?

00:19:19.220 Yeah, but who hasn't?

00:19:19.960 You keep it to yourself, though.

00:19:22.480 I feel like she's a running joke.

00:19:24.220 You don't write a story about it.

00:19:25.560 I'm so confused about this

00:19:26.700 because I just thought

00:19:27.380 that was a normal thing to do.

00:19:28.600 You don't write it down, though.

00:19:30.340 I mean, you're not your mind.

00:19:31.320 When I did it,

00:19:31.900 I was normal.

00:19:31.920 You don't write it down.

00:19:32.580 You just do it.

00:19:35.400 You just do it,

00:19:36.120 and then just hook up at Thanksgiving.

00:19:38.560 Yeah.

00:19:40.460 I've been threatening my wife

00:19:41.620 every so often.

00:19:42.260 I'm like,

00:19:42.780 I'm going to finger bang you.

00:19:44.200 Like this week.

00:19:45.040 I don't know.

00:19:45.800 Dude, dude.

00:19:46.440 I choose crazy shit to say to her

00:19:47.880 and I've been saying that to her.

00:19:49.700 Dude, once you get married,

00:19:50.980 dude, once you get married,

00:19:52.640 the finger banging stops, dude.

00:19:54.120 They do not like fingering.

00:19:55.080 They're like,

00:19:55.660 fuck fingering.

00:19:57.280 That's why I'm saying it.

00:19:58.640 I feel like it's almost like a threat.

00:20:00.860 Yeah.

00:20:01.800 They don't like it.

00:20:03.260 Honestly,

00:20:03.760 they probably never liked it.

00:20:05.040 It was just something

00:20:06.180 that they were like,

00:20:07.020 can't give my pussy up.

00:20:08.520 Your hands are so fucking callous.

00:20:10.560 You're like,

00:20:10.860 whoa.

00:20:12.560 No,

00:20:12.940 I just think they-

00:20:13.720 I got no idea what I'm doing in there.

00:20:15.180 Those fingers are just in your butthole, man.

00:20:16.840 Don't stick them in me.

00:20:18.900 Wow.

00:20:19.220 I don't think I'm not doing it right.

00:20:25.540 I just don't think anybody likes getting-

00:20:27.200 I don't think women just don't like getting fingered.

00:20:29.040 They're just like,

00:20:29.520 why would-

00:20:29.900 Put the penis in.

00:20:31.840 You can lick my pussy

00:20:32.960 or you can fuck my pussy

00:20:34.200 and those two are wildly better

00:20:36.260 than just fingering it.

00:20:37.540 There's no reason to just use your fingers.

00:20:40.440 How many of the girls masturbate?

00:20:42.180 Because this is like a dirty secret.

00:20:43.800 They act like they never do,

00:20:45.260 but you have to, right?

00:20:47.120 They all do.

00:20:47.660 They all do.

00:20:48.300 They all do.

00:20:48.940 And it's just like,

00:20:49.880 you guys are fucking gross, bro.

00:20:51.800 Look, gross.

00:20:53.040 Wait, wait, wait.

00:20:53.800 Is it grosser for women to masturbate than men?

00:20:56.240 It's disgusting for them to masturbate.

00:20:58.220 Wait, wait.

00:20:58.460 I mean, do it.

00:20:59.100 I think dudes are way more disgusting than women.

00:21:01.640 No, they're sticking their face inside of their body, dude.

00:21:03.860 It's accepted.

00:21:04.800 Technically, they don't have to stick it inside their body,

00:21:06.700 but dudes are like-

00:21:07.800 Yeah.

00:21:08.420 Dudes actually emit something.

00:21:10.860 If something comes out,

00:21:12.160 that's way more gross.

00:21:13.100 Same with chicks.

00:21:14.220 Yeah.

00:21:14.900 Chicks aren't expected to display that.

00:21:17.260 It looks like they're not supposed to poop.

00:21:18.960 Hold on.

00:21:19.480 Toad thinks that chicks,

00:21:20.740 whenever they come,

00:21:21.480 always actually have something come out.

00:21:23.020 That's not true, Toad.

00:21:23.840 You know that, right?

00:21:25.340 Yeah, almost never.

00:21:27.300 What?

00:21:27.480 Wait, did you really mean-

00:21:28.580 Oh!

00:21:29.420 Yeah.

00:21:30.560 He's like,

00:21:31.120 I'm busted.

00:21:32.020 I've never done anything.

00:21:33.760 That was fucking great.

00:21:34.920 Toad's been watching dudes jerk off,

00:21:37.620 and he's just thinking it's a woman.

00:21:38.800 He's just like,

00:21:39.560 that clit busted for sure.

00:21:41.540 Like, that really large clit just busted all over.

00:21:44.520 He's been watching squirt porn for so long,

00:21:47.120 he didn't do it.

00:21:47.940 Sometimes they do.

00:21:50.100 Dude, yeah.

00:21:51.600 Dude, no.

00:21:52.100 I'm just so good at it,

00:21:53.460 they always squirt.

00:21:54.380 What do you want?

00:21:55.660 Wait, so are you genuinely of the belief

00:21:57.240 that every time a girl orgasms,

00:21:58.680 she emits some sort of liquid of some sort

00:22:00.780 from her vaginal area?

00:22:02.340 At least something, yeah.

00:22:03.980 No!

00:22:04.760 All right.

00:22:05.160 That's not how that works at all.

00:22:06.800 I like that we've gone from like,

00:22:08.580 is squirt cum or is it pee

00:22:12.180 to just girls always squirt?

00:22:15.680 I mean, there can be liquids involved in sex,

00:22:19.300 but it's not,

00:22:19.860 just so you know,

00:22:21.420 so you don't look foolish in the future,

00:22:22.780 it's not required for the orgasm.

00:22:24.860 It's not like essential to it or anything.

00:22:26.860 I just want to say real quick.

00:22:28.140 It's probably just piss, really.

00:22:29.100 I just want to say real quick.

00:22:29.920 And the cum is different

00:22:30.720 because it can be white.

00:22:32.240 Like that's different.

00:22:34.140 That's cum.

00:22:36.180 You're a strange dude.

00:22:37.920 I just want to say real quick

00:22:38.820 that that shirt is insane.

00:22:40.600 And if you wear that in public,

00:22:41.640 you're out of your fucking mind.

00:22:42.120 No, dude, I'm trying.

00:22:43.620 I know at least one person has brought this

00:22:46.420 and I'm trying to like be in contact with them.

00:22:48.600 I email them.

00:22:49.200 I'm like, send me a picture

00:22:50.300 of you wearing this during Thanksgiving.

00:22:51.560 If there's anyone that's heterosexual

00:22:54.500 that rocks that shirt,

00:22:55.660 they are out of their minds.

00:22:56.980 The hat is the craziest one

00:22:58.320 because it just says cum on it.

00:23:00.700 The wild thing is

00:23:01.680 that's totally something

00:23:02.460 I would have worn when I was like 18

00:23:04.120 and just didn't give a fuck.

00:23:05.040 A hundred percent.

00:23:05.880 In high school?

00:23:06.520 Do you think these actors

00:23:10.520 or whatever these fucking...

00:23:13.960 The people that are showing the shirts off

00:23:16.580 know that...

00:23:18.000 No.

00:23:18.440 That's the word.

00:23:20.540 Models?

00:23:21.060 Wow, we're struggling for models?

00:23:22.960 Dude, I had the biggest margarita

00:23:24.920 I've ever had tonight.

00:23:25.720 Do you think they know

00:23:27.980 that based in cum-pilled

00:23:29.200 is going to be written on their chest

00:23:31.280 and they have like sunglasses on there like...

00:23:33.800 They have no idea.

00:23:35.460 It's just so funny to see.

00:23:37.580 Are you going to take photos of that

00:23:39.420 and send it to the model

00:23:40.780 like in the mail

00:23:41.800 so he gets this weird photo of himself?

00:23:44.780 He has a shirt on

00:23:45.620 that says based in cum-pilled

00:23:46.780 Almost like he's receiving blackmail photos.

00:23:49.160 If we could find this Chinese dude

00:23:51.340 with the fucking racism...

00:23:52.560 Yeah, you can get him so fired, dude.

00:23:53.240 Come on, dude.

00:23:54.180 Yo, we should send a photo of him

00:23:56.000 in that shirt to himself

00:23:57.240 and say,

00:23:57.740 we're blackmailing you.

00:23:59.040 Because...

00:23:59.440 Don't do anything say anything.

00:24:01.040 Just send just photos of them

00:24:03.080 in that to him

00:24:04.400 and just no explanation

00:24:05.340 just to fuck with them.

00:24:06.180 Just to terrorize them.

00:24:07.020 They're like,

00:24:07.300 what the fuck is this?

00:24:09.320 No, I want to do it

00:24:10.300 with like cutouts from newspapers

00:24:11.560 and just a white paper

00:24:12.820 that says like,

00:24:13.680 what the fuck is this all about?

00:24:14.980 Just send it to him.

00:24:16.360 This is such a disgusting sentence.

00:24:19.000 Girls do juice out white liquid

00:24:21.720 if it's a really good dickin'.

00:24:23.780 Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

00:24:24.840 Who the fuck is rich762?

00:24:27.680 Hey, he gives out really good dickins.

00:24:29.260 That's who rich762 is.

00:24:30.000 He's a man who knows

00:24:30.420 what he's talking about, man.

00:24:31.940 Juice out like white liquid.

00:24:34.400 Wait up.

00:24:35.160 Ladies in the chat,

00:24:36.260 would you like to...

00:24:37.000 Is rich white or black?

00:24:38.740 He should change his name

00:24:39.580 to Mr. Good Dick.

00:24:40.800 Mr. Good Dick.

00:24:42.000 If rich is black,

00:24:43.020 this sentence is so much worse.

00:24:44.340 Girls do juice out white liquid

00:24:46.960 if it's a really good dick.

00:24:49.600 This is great.

00:24:50.360 This is great.

00:24:50.960 Play that video I sent in the chat.

00:24:53.620 Girls do juice.

00:24:55.280 Because Clint enjoyed it.

00:24:58.000 The one with like the,

00:24:59.000 basically that meth woman,

00:25:01.240 that messed up girl.

00:25:02.640 This is an awful episode.

00:25:04.120 I really...

00:25:04.580 No, this is great.

00:25:06.300 I don't want to talk about

00:25:06.940 liquids out of women anymore.

00:25:08.600 No, no, no.

00:25:09.040 Clint, you enjoyed this one.

00:25:10.840 The splatter.

00:25:11.420 It's kicked up cock.

00:25:12.320 Oh, yeah, yeah.

00:25:13.380 Play that for sure.

00:25:14.580 That's a perfect time for this.

00:25:15.840 That's a perfect segue

00:25:16.440 right into this.

00:25:17.480 This is perfect.

00:25:17.780 Could not be done.

00:25:18.260 This is literally perfect.

00:25:19.200 Who are we even talking about?

00:25:20.220 I don't know.

00:25:21.320 It's really hilarious how...

00:25:23.380 Not that one.

00:25:24.120 Not this one.

00:25:25.200 Oh, I want to see that again.

00:25:26.280 Jesus, we're about to get fucked up.

00:25:27.660 Toad, he's immediately hard.

00:25:29.940 By the way,

00:25:30.420 I just saw like the title of that

00:25:33.140 was whitetitties.mp4

00:25:35.120 and that was actually

00:25:36.460 a perfect name from that.

00:25:38.960 Can you imagine your wife

00:25:39.800 scrolling through your files?

00:25:40.940 Remember it?

00:25:41.720 But my man,

00:25:42.640 he fucks the shit

00:25:43.960 out of this kitty.

00:25:45.140 I know that's right.

00:25:45.740 He licks the fuck

00:25:47.040 out of this kitty.

00:25:48.000 Yes, I do.

00:25:49.240 He sucks the motherfucking piss

00:25:51.540 out of this kitty.

00:25:52.560 Give me another drink.

00:25:53.480 I shit on his dick

00:25:55.720 with this motherfucking kitty.

00:25:58.060 Wait, what?

00:25:58.500 Stay mad, bitch.

00:26:00.980 You said what?

00:26:03.200 Over the best part.

00:26:04.380 The best part of it.

00:26:05.700 The best part is

00:26:06.400 the black dude ad-lib.

00:26:07.680 Last five seconds.

00:26:08.820 Yeah, yeah.

00:26:09.260 Last five seconds of this

00:26:10.240 is the best part.

00:26:11.340 Stay mad, bitch.

00:26:13.720 No, like...

00:26:15.420 I shit on his dick

00:26:18.700 with this motherfucking kitty.

00:26:21.200 Splatter.

00:26:21.960 Stay mad.

00:26:23.540 I missed that.

00:26:25.480 That dude is definitely black.

00:26:27.320 And by the way,

00:26:27.980 if she ever wants

00:26:28.700 to get rid of him,

00:26:29.300 she just has to get pregnant.

00:26:30.720 Dude, it's so funny.

00:26:32.840 He goes...

00:26:33.140 He licks the piss

00:26:34.940 out of this kitty

00:26:35.660 and he goes,

00:26:36.200 give me another drink.

00:26:38.900 Is that Hennessy

00:26:39.960 coming out of there?

00:26:41.080 He fucks the shit

00:26:42.120 out of this kitty.

00:26:43.680 Splatter.

00:26:44.120 Yeah, baby.

00:26:44.740 Splatter.

00:26:45.600 Splatter.

00:26:46.960 Unbelievable.

00:26:47.900 The fucked up part

00:26:48.680 is that this is what

00:26:49.280 Toad thinks what sex is.

00:26:51.940 Like...

00:26:52.220 I do.

00:26:53.040 You can't have

00:26:53.500 a relationship with sex

00:26:54.900 because it's all

00:26:55.460 porn-related stuff.

00:26:56.620 He thinks that if a girl

00:26:58.040 comes,

00:26:58.380 she's got to squirt

00:26:59.080 across the room.

00:27:00.180 It's like...

00:27:00.480 Dude, I bet you

00:27:01.540 Toad would actually say,

00:27:02.820 I want you to shit

00:27:03.580 on this dick.

00:27:04.740 I bet you would say that

00:27:06.100 with your pussy.

00:27:07.360 I think the most disturbing

00:27:07.880 thing about what she

00:27:08.720 had to say there

00:27:09.340 is that she's saying,

00:27:10.620 I shit on his dick

00:27:12.120 with this kitty.

00:27:13.200 With my pussy.

00:27:13.560 Yeah.

00:27:14.040 She says,

00:27:14.720 with this kitty.

00:27:15.300 And I'm like,

00:27:16.120 what?

00:27:16.760 Why can't you do that?

00:27:18.220 She's built backwards.

00:27:19.360 He gives her

00:27:20.280 the Alabama hot pocket.

00:27:21.460 He shits into her pussy

00:27:22.540 and then she shits

00:27:25.060 it out of her pussy.

00:27:25.920 Oh, man.

00:27:26.240 We're going to have

00:27:26.640 to move on top of that.

00:27:27.380 Oh, that's disgusting.

00:27:29.300 What are we doing here?

00:27:29.980 Talking to Toad about sex

00:27:31.200 just makes me like

00:27:32.040 never want to talk

00:27:33.200 about sex.

00:27:34.080 Let's do mailbag.

00:27:35.580 Let's mailbag.

00:27:36.960 Mark Vespiel.

00:27:38.100 I just like the black dude

00:27:40.660 ad-libbing in the background

00:27:42.180 going splatter.

00:27:42.540 Splatter.

00:27:42.880 Splatter.

00:27:44.000 You know what?

00:27:45.420 Cole, you bring this

00:27:46.420 very bad vibe to the show

00:27:48.580 because it's super

00:27:49.280 genuine and happy

00:27:52.580 but very ultra-sexualized.

00:27:54.760 This is what

00:27:55.000 the demon in Cole

00:27:56.100 is like a sexual demon, right?

00:27:58.840 Because it's been repressed.

00:27:59.780 Cole or me?

00:28:00.380 I'm married now.

00:28:01.060 I don't get sexed.

00:28:02.240 You didn't have sex

00:28:03.080 before you were married either.

00:28:04.120 No, I did.

00:28:04.600 I had a lot of sex

00:28:05.180 before I was married.

00:28:05.840 No, you didn't.

00:28:06.960 Yeah, I did.

00:28:08.140 No, you didn't.

00:28:08.820 Who are you having sex with

00:28:09.540 other than your wife

00:28:10.400 before getting married?

00:28:12.240 No, I was just saying

00:28:12.860 I just had sex with her a lot.

00:28:14.080 Okay.

00:28:14.700 So you're just meaning

00:28:15.300 that like

00:28:15.740 He had sex with her

00:28:16.500 before they got married.

00:28:17.380 Yeah, I mean

00:28:18.180 it wasn't multiple women.

00:28:19.580 I'm not some womanizer.

00:28:22.020 No, you would never

00:28:22.800 one woman, maybe two.

00:28:25.260 Yeah, it was

00:28:26.000 But only at the same time.

00:28:27.460 Liz and gummy bears, right?

00:28:29.760 No, it was not

00:28:30.500 Liz with the gummy bears.

00:28:31.360 Liz's pussies.

00:28:31.860 No, Liz and gummy bears.

00:28:33.360 That's actually a good question.

00:28:34.680 Is it better to

00:28:35.560 stay single and womanize?

00:28:37.620 Sorry, I'm Mark Vestigule today.

00:28:39.660 Is it better to stay single

00:28:40.740 and womanize through your 20s

00:28:42.140 or to get married

00:28:42.940 but then have a bunch of threesomes

00:28:44.180 which inevitably tears

00:28:45.120 your marriage apart?

00:28:46.420 which is Cole's back.

00:28:47.720 He hasn't done that though.

00:28:48.860 Oh, hey, $50.

00:28:49.840 $50?

00:28:51.200 Beer, beer, beer, beer.

00:28:52.780 Meat cavern.

00:28:53.840 Toad would be

00:28:54.560 killer sex ed teacher.

00:28:56.140 Hell yeah.

00:28:56.680 Teach it all wrong.

00:28:58.220 He would literally kill people.

00:28:59.880 No, no, no.

00:29:00.540 He would literally kill people.

00:29:01.820 I've chosen the wrong career path.

00:29:02.680 I think he would literally

00:29:03.660 like people would die

00:29:04.760 if he taught sex ed.

00:29:06.060 Like he would be like

00:29:06.860 they would

00:29:07.200 the things he would say

00:29:08.600 might actually like

00:29:09.700 hurt somebody

00:29:10.920 to the point of being

00:29:11.700 in a hospital.

00:29:12.380 Cry me a river

00:29:13.120 about that.

00:29:14.420 The only thing I remember

00:29:15.680 from high school health class

00:29:17.840 is I remember this one

00:29:18.700 like montage

00:29:19.440 or was this video

00:29:20.340 where dudes

00:29:21.340 were just like

00:29:21.840 shouting out

00:29:22.440 all the different ways

00:29:23.160 like all the different

00:29:23.900 STDs that you can get

00:29:25.240 and then randomly

00:29:25.900 one guy yells

00:29:26.600 anal sex

00:29:27.880 in the middle of it.

00:29:29.040 I'm like,

00:29:29.340 what the fuck?

00:29:30.460 That's my secret.

00:29:31.300 My leg is always tapping.

00:29:32.980 Yeah.

00:29:33.720 Right.

00:29:34.700 You're the worst.

00:29:35.280 All right.

00:29:35.480 Well, fucking Mark Vestibule.

00:29:36.600 Read Mark Vestibule

00:29:37.260 because we still haven't done

00:29:38.220 mailbag.

00:29:38.900 Let's do this.

00:29:39.420 All right.

00:29:39.560 Mark Vestibule.

00:29:40.340 Would you rather have

00:29:41.020 to do the Haka

00:29:41.940 which is I believe

00:29:42.980 that is that

00:29:43.700 that Italian dance?

00:29:45.700 It's not Italian.

00:29:47.160 It's New Zealand.

00:29:48.160 I thought it was

00:29:49.320 the shit that the

00:29:50.060 that those fucking

00:29:52.440 Costco people

00:29:53.240 do.

00:29:53.480 The Haka

00:29:54.060 at every future

00:29:54.820 live event

00:29:55.260 or just New Zealand

00:29:56.160 Simone.

00:29:56.940 Or never have

00:29:57.640 another live event.

00:29:58.480 Obviously the first one.

00:29:59.740 We'll do the Haka.

00:30:00.960 Real shit.

00:30:02.180 I don't even think

00:30:02.660 it's a like

00:30:03.320 I don't even think

00:30:04.120 this is a negative

00:30:05.140 whatsoever.

00:30:05.720 Like it's kind of retarded

00:30:06.660 we haven't started

00:30:07.520 every live event

00:30:08.180 with a Haka.

00:30:09.020 I have a story.

00:30:11.240 Okay.

00:30:11.940 In college.

00:30:13.080 If you've done

00:30:13.680 the Haka before

00:30:14.560 and you haven't

00:30:15.740 ever told this story

00:30:16.520 I'm going to be pissed.

00:30:17.740 I love these random

00:30:18.660 niggas to do the Haka.

00:30:20.720 So guys I've been

00:30:21.380 embarrassed to tell you

00:30:22.080 but I Haka.

00:30:23.180 Hold on.

00:30:24.200 So in college

00:30:25.280 every Sunday

00:30:28.620 before the Broncos

00:30:29.880 kicked off

00:30:30.340 we would do the Haka.

00:30:31.640 Hold on.

00:30:32.520 So in college

00:30:33.100 we had these collegians.

00:30:34.180 They were like fraternities

00:30:34.980 but because it was

00:30:35.640 a Christian college

00:30:36.320 we didn't actually

00:30:37.000 do fraternities.

00:30:37.840 We did collegians.

00:30:39.640 Our collegians

00:30:40.340 so we would have

00:30:41.140 a Greek rush

00:30:42.000 where we would try

00:30:42.580 to invite people

00:30:43.120 to our collegians.

00:30:44.540 Our thing

00:30:45.000 our collegians thing

00:30:46.100 during the Greek rush

00:30:46.940 was to do the Haka

00:30:48.260 every year.

00:30:49.340 So the four years

00:30:51.140 or five years

00:30:51.740 I was at college

00:30:52.580 I did the Haka

00:31:03.780 every year

00:31:04.640 and it was

00:31:05.500 and one year

00:31:06.220 I led the Haka

00:31:07.500 it was me

00:31:08.460 this white guy

00:31:09.360 small skinny white guy

00:31:10.700 leading a Haka

00:31:11.760 of like 30 dudes.

00:31:12.980 Is there a video of this?

00:31:14.160 Yes somewhere

00:31:14.760 there is a video.

00:31:15.300 Oh bro

00:31:15.700 you gotta find it

00:31:16.580 that'd be fucking awesome.

00:31:17.620 Can we talk about

00:31:18.660 how great it is

00:31:19.280 that your Christian school

00:31:20.360 wouldn't do

00:31:21.280 wouldn't do

00:31:22.740 fraternities

00:31:23.800 because I'm assuming

00:31:25.080 the Greek

00:31:25.540 yeah hell yeah dog

00:31:26.560 do you think

00:31:26.920 this is cool?

00:31:27.420 instead you're doing

00:31:28.100 pagan dances.

00:31:30.780 No I don't think

00:31:31.540 this is cool at all

00:31:32.400 I just want to do it.

00:31:34.040 This is speaking

00:31:34.940 in tongues

00:31:35.540 we did have

00:31:36.900 we did have like

00:31:37.840 a couple of

00:31:38.840 like New Zealanders

00:31:39.680 and like

00:31:40.280 like those guys

00:31:41.740 in our collegian

00:31:42.440 and they

00:31:43.040 were the ones

00:31:43.860 that kind of started it.

00:31:44.760 these fucking people

00:31:46.140 should be shot

00:31:47.020 in the chest.

00:31:48.020 If they did

00:31:48.360 they're doing this

00:31:48.960 in parliament

00:31:49.540 of wherever they're at

00:31:50.440 if somebody had a gun

00:31:51.840 and just said

00:31:52.320 blah blah blah

00:31:53.740 I'd be like

00:31:54.180 that's the lull.

00:31:54.920 I will say

00:31:55.580 that's the lull.

00:31:56.440 I will say

00:31:57.020 it was like

00:31:57.680 a cannibalistic tribe

00:31:58.840 is where this came from

00:31:59.680 I think.

00:32:00.560 The Haka

00:32:01.220 the Haka

00:32:01.780 was one of the main reasons

00:32:03.100 people joined

00:32:03.960 our collegian

00:32:04.720 by the way.

00:32:05.600 Like it was like

00:32:06.180 I feel like you're just

00:32:06.980 making up a word

00:32:07.720 I don't think collegian

00:32:08.660 is a word.

00:32:09.800 There were seven people

00:32:10.780 in your school.

00:32:11.980 No no no no

00:32:12.760 this is college

00:32:13.400 there was actually

00:32:13.920 like 4,000

00:32:14.760 fraternities

00:32:15.360 but we're doing

00:32:15.760 collegiates

00:32:16.420 and we're going to

00:32:16.920 go by Greek names

00:32:18.100 and everything.

00:32:18.640 Yeah there was

00:32:19.020 Greek names

00:32:19.540 there were Greek names.

00:32:20.880 So it was literally

00:32:21.420 just fraternities

00:32:22.220 all the same.

00:32:22.780 So is it collegiate

00:32:23.720 or is it collegiate?

00:32:24.880 It's collegians.

00:32:26.000 What the fuck

00:32:26.920 are you talking about?

00:32:28.160 You're just making shit up.

00:32:29.080 There was men

00:32:29.680 and women's collegians

00:32:30.780 and we had like

00:32:32.520 a fraternity.

00:32:33.340 Is this the same exact thing

00:32:39.600 they just changed the name

00:32:40.680 just to make you guys

00:32:41.740 think that like

00:32:42.520 it's different.

00:32:43.160 But it's not fraternities

00:32:44.120 partying and fucking here

00:32:45.340 and doing everything.

00:32:45.940 I mean there was no

00:32:47.100 partying or fucking.

00:32:48.100 This isn't a fraternity

00:32:48.280 this is a collegiate.

00:32:49.500 It was every Wednesday

00:32:50.380 it was like

00:32:51.000 every third Wednesday

00:32:52.160 of the month

00:32:52.740 you would get together

00:32:53.540 and we would talk.

00:32:54.840 Hold up.

00:32:55.540 Yes.

00:32:56.280 I'm not saying that

00:32:57.320 the haka is cool.

00:32:59.380 I'm just saying

00:33:00.120 it would be fun.

00:33:01.220 And like what do we do?

00:33:02.100 We do fun shit

00:33:03.080 that just gets the crowd

00:33:04.060 going.

00:33:04.120 I think it's kind of cool.

00:33:05.400 It's not fun.

00:33:06.100 It's not cool.

00:33:06.600 It's not cool.

00:33:07.500 Why is it not cool?

00:33:08.860 I mean it's kind of cool

00:33:10.260 sometimes.

00:33:10.600 It's literally like a war dance.

00:33:12.220 You know that right?

00:33:12.760 It's not cool

00:33:13.320 because it got co-opted

00:33:14.840 by white woman energy.

00:33:16.160 That's what did it.

00:33:16.760 It's not cool.

00:33:17.340 But that's not fair.

00:33:18.100 We are the final level

00:33:19.320 of co-option.

00:33:20.180 That's how that works.

00:33:21.060 That is not fair.

00:33:22.320 No.

00:33:22.440 Hold on.

00:33:23.180 It's like anytime

00:33:23.860 your wife takes something

00:33:24.940 like a show

00:33:25.480 you used to watch alone

00:33:26.760 and now you're like

00:33:27.520 now it's awful.

00:33:29.960 Let me explain this to you.

00:33:31.160 So those people

00:33:31.820 that tribe in New Zealand

00:33:33.100 is the equivalent

00:33:34.160 of the aboriginal

00:33:35.320 in Australia.

00:33:36.340 I know.

00:33:36.740 They're fucking retards

00:33:38.220 savages

00:33:38.800 who they let have

00:33:39.860 a piece of parliament

00:33:41.240 and they do that.

00:33:42.660 I would like to open up

00:33:43.520 a live tower gang event

00:33:44.620 with toad huffing gas

00:33:46.300 just like the aboriginals.

00:33:47.540 But also

00:33:47.920 the retarded savages

00:33:49.240 are strong as fuck

00:33:50.440 and can fight like shit.

00:33:52.960 By the way

00:33:53.400 the Maori in New Zealand

00:33:55.640 are like genocidal.

00:33:57.180 They committed

00:33:57.780 mass genocide.

00:33:59.040 Yeah.

00:33:59.340 They sound awesome.

00:34:00.820 They're savages.

00:34:02.300 Yeah.

00:34:02.500 That's the cool part

00:34:03.820 about it.

00:34:04.500 No.

00:34:05.020 It's disrespectful

00:34:06.120 to the white man there

00:34:07.540 because

00:34:07.980 they're coming there

00:34:08.820 and they're saying

00:34:09.300 You're not white.

00:34:09.720 I'm saying

00:34:10.220 it aggravates me.

00:34:11.980 I feel for you.

00:34:13.220 I feel for those

00:34:14.300 white people.

00:34:16.740 Hakatober.

00:34:18.140 Hakatober.

00:34:19.260 Dude, let's Hakatober.

00:34:21.500 Oh, it's November.

00:34:22.400 Fuck.

00:34:22.600 That's too far away.

00:34:23.100 All right.

00:34:23.300 Here we go.

00:34:23.840 This is a viral idea.

00:34:25.400 The Hakatua girl

00:34:26.540 doing the Hakatua.

00:34:28.300 The Hakatua.

00:34:29.100 Hakatua.

00:34:29.700 Yeah.

00:34:30.360 There you go.

00:34:31.460 Pay me for that later, bitch.

00:34:32.060 I bet I can ask somebody.

00:34:33.060 I bet I can get a video

00:34:34.400 of me doing the Hakatua

00:34:35.480 somewhere.

00:34:37.260 So demanding.

00:34:38.460 Pay me for that idea, bitch.

00:34:40.200 But in all seriousness,

00:34:41.140 once a white woman takes,

00:34:42.540 white woman culture

00:34:43.300 takes something,

00:34:43.900 it's no longer cool.

00:34:44.900 It's just not.

00:34:45.940 Dude, the Hakatua

00:34:46.720 would be,

00:34:47.580 it would go viral

00:34:48.280 if she actually like

00:34:49.420 every show

00:34:50.560 doing the Hakatua.

00:34:51.740 Yeah.

00:34:52.060 And then just brand it

00:34:53.300 Hakatua.

00:34:54.020 It would kill it right away.

00:34:55.180 I love it.

00:34:55.940 Change the name of the podcast.

00:34:57.720 There you go.

00:34:58.780 Hakatua.

00:34:59.060 The Hakatua.

00:34:59.900 Hakatua.

00:35:00.300 Alright, fucking next mailbag.

00:35:02.080 Who do we have?

00:35:02.940 God, those numbers

00:35:03.540 have got to be atrocious

00:35:04.340 by now, right?

00:35:05.080 Is a slide from JM

00:35:07.020 are we gambling on this?

00:35:09.120 See slide.

00:35:10.340 Oh, jeez.

00:35:10.720 You had a whole fucking

00:35:11.360 thing prepared.

00:35:12.460 Alright, mailbag.

00:35:13.700 Why does he use a slide

00:35:15.100 just to submit text?

00:35:17.080 Dumbass.

00:35:18.200 That's a long text.

00:35:19.160 You're in a car.

00:35:19.660 Toad is driving.

00:35:20.820 Toad decides to do the deed

00:35:22.460 and wraps a tree.

00:35:23.600 I've done that before,

00:35:24.480 by the way.

00:35:25.500 The wrapping a tree part.

00:35:26.540 He dies instantly.

00:35:28.220 You do not.

00:35:28.880 You need three organs

00:35:29.920 to survive.

00:35:30.840 Toad is the donor.

00:35:32.380 What organs are you picking?

00:35:34.540 Caveat, if you choose skin,

00:35:36.520 it will be Toad's groin skin

00:35:38.000 on your face.

00:35:39.360 Caveat two,

00:35:40.240 if you choose death,

00:35:41.640 then the roles are reversed

00:35:42.680 and Toad gets to pick

00:35:43.880 which organs he takes.

00:35:44.660 That's a very good question.

00:35:46.020 What organs are these?

00:35:48.360 That's a complicated one.

00:35:50.280 That is a very complicated one.

00:35:51.720 I don't know all the problems

00:35:53.540 of Toad's organs have

00:35:54.780 because if he was like

00:35:55.700 a heart transplant,

00:35:56.920 Toad's heart is definitely fucked.

00:35:58.420 You were never a smoker, right?

00:36:00.160 Yeah, I have a functionally

00:36:03.080 bicuspid aortic valve.

00:36:05.160 That's nice.

00:36:05.680 Were you ever a smoker?

00:36:07.140 No.

00:36:07.840 I bet his lungs are fucked, dude.

00:36:08.960 You don't want his lungs.

00:36:09.920 What?

00:36:10.520 I mean, he has shit cardio,

00:36:12.100 but that can be fixed.

00:36:13.400 His lungs are fine.

00:36:14.480 Well, my heart,

00:36:15.020 I told you,

00:36:15.420 I have a congenital heart defect.

00:36:17.400 He just never uses lungs.

00:36:17.540 My aortic valve has two leaves

00:36:19.960 instead of three.

00:36:21.300 So like the blood flow.

00:36:21.860 Someone buys.

00:36:22.780 They took out my appendix.

00:36:25.460 I will take Toad's appendix.

00:36:27.380 I want to revise this question.

00:36:29.360 I'm going to live less long

00:36:30.580 because of my heart

00:36:31.300 is what I'm saying.

00:36:31.600 I'm going to revise the question

00:36:32.640 the guy asked.

00:36:33.840 Here's the deal.

00:36:34.480 Who cares if he wraps his car

00:36:35.680 and dies instantly?

00:36:37.100 Something's wrong with you

00:36:38.300 and you can pick something

00:36:39.700 that's wrong with you

00:36:40.520 and basically Toad is there,

00:36:42.340 look, sipping water,

00:36:43.200 staying alive just barely

00:36:44.260 and when the time comes,

00:36:46.060 I'm like,

00:36:46.300 I need a new kidney.

00:36:47.540 Do I just take it from Toad?

00:36:49.880 Or do you skip on that?

00:36:50.820 We have like a gay event

00:36:51.320 for every month

00:36:52.260 and try to sell it

00:36:55.320 as it not being gay.

00:36:58.300 Swallow temper.

00:36:58.980 So like,

00:36:59.440 I don't have my appendix

00:37:00.580 for movement.

00:37:01.540 Toad,

00:37:01.760 do you have your appendix?

00:37:03.220 Yes.

00:37:03.920 Okay.

00:37:04.380 I would take Toad's appendix.

00:37:05.780 That's a good one.

00:37:06.600 Yeah,

00:37:06.820 because it's like low risk, right?

00:37:08.560 Yeah, it's low risk.

00:37:09.140 It doesn't matter at all.

00:37:10.600 I'd like to throw an appendix

00:37:12.120 in there who gives a shit.

00:37:12.660 Like his tonsils,

00:37:13.820 his gallbladder.

00:37:15.140 Give me his gallbladder too.

00:37:16.140 My brain is damaged

00:37:16.880 from his stroke.

00:37:18.280 Yeah,

00:37:18.520 gallbladder is probably fine.

00:37:19.940 He actually doesn't have bad teeth.

00:37:21.840 Is teeth an organ?

00:37:23.500 Are they?

00:37:26.620 Would you take his tongue?

00:37:27.880 He doesn't shut the fuck up.

00:37:29.400 Someone said,

00:37:29.860 uses colon for a fleshlight.

00:37:34.080 Start low with the feet.

00:37:35.140 Nobody wants my dick?

00:37:37.060 What?

00:37:37.540 Yeah.

00:37:38.140 Which body part do you want

00:37:39.440 to take from Toad?

00:37:40.160 Well,

00:37:40.440 you should probably start low

00:37:41.420 with the feet.

00:37:43.500 My feet are alright.

00:37:44.300 I would actually take,

00:37:46.140 what causes sex drive?

00:37:48.580 Because the way to jerk off

00:37:50.160 for 32 times in a row,

00:37:51.140 you have to have massive,

00:37:52.320 so that's to be like,

00:37:52.980 something that the libido is.

00:37:54.300 My balls.

00:37:54.760 Yeah.

00:37:55.420 Like,

00:37:55.660 I would,

00:37:55.940 I mean,

00:37:56.300 I don't know if I would,

00:37:57.440 you know,

00:37:57.680 like his body.

00:37:58.120 Maybe it's your line.

00:37:58.700 I would take that,

00:37:59.500 whatever he has,

00:38:00.680 take that and give it to my wife.

00:38:02.320 I've got some bad news

00:38:03.600 and some good news.

00:38:04.620 Okay.

00:38:04.840 Bad news,

00:38:05.540 Talk Tua is still a show.

00:38:07.200 It still exists.

00:38:08.080 Good news,

00:38:08.620 start with further bad news.

00:38:12.040 Still crushing it,

00:38:13.120 three,

00:38:13.400 four,

00:38:13.660 five hundred thousand views.

00:38:14.980 The bad news for her,

00:38:16.900 or the good news for us,

00:38:17.860 is that her most recent

00:38:19.220 had less than a half a million views

00:38:20.480 and it was with Jake fucking Paul.

00:38:22.740 So,

00:38:23.040 that's a pretty big draw

00:38:24.000 and it still didn't even do

00:38:25.380 a half a million.

00:38:26.080 So,

00:38:26.420 she's doing it almost exclusively like,

00:38:29.780 because I would,

00:38:31.440 no,

00:38:31.660 it's not that,

00:38:32.280 like,

00:38:32.420 I don't care if she succeeds.

00:38:33.440 Like,

00:38:33.540 I just think that it's devastating

00:38:35.500 to see someone who's so retarded

00:38:37.700 crush it so hard.

00:38:39.020 Wow.

00:38:39.460 That's quite the hater.

00:38:39.940 It'd be like,

00:38:40.600 if I was like crushing it.

00:38:42.820 No,

00:38:43.120 not Toad,

00:38:43.880 like if I was crushing it.

00:38:45.460 No,

00:38:45.680 no,

00:38:45.760 no.

00:38:45.900 If Toad was crushing it,

00:38:46.840 I would feel the same way.

00:38:48.160 Yeah.

00:38:48.500 Yeah.

00:38:48.980 You would be upset.

00:38:50.460 It is confounding.

00:38:51.700 If Toad,

00:38:52.460 if Better Off Dead

00:38:53.480 was doing a half a million views,

00:38:55.000 I think I would probably

00:38:56.200 quit podcasting.

00:38:57.500 Yeah,

00:38:57.980 what the fuck?

00:38:58.600 I want to do it.

00:39:00.020 Also,

00:39:00.560 Talk Tua,

00:39:01.060 didn't she,

00:39:01.660 like,

00:39:03.180 mostly that what they're doing

00:39:04.320 is like interviewing like horse too

00:39:06.380 and like,

00:39:07.560 just literally like,

00:39:08.380 it's,

00:39:08.560 it's a lot of that.

00:39:09.420 Shots fired from Whitney Cummings.

00:39:11.380 No,

00:39:11.560 it just became,

00:39:12.100 that's true.

00:39:13.500 All it is is that whatever podcast.

00:39:14.840 It's nothing but women guests.

00:39:16.620 It literally,

00:39:17.200 it's,

00:39:17.420 Gorlock the Destroyer.

00:39:18.580 They literally had on like,

00:39:19.920 they had like on one of those

00:39:21.140 Playboy bunnies,

00:39:22.040 the,

00:39:22.240 the one from,

00:39:23.060 the one that was in the reality TV show on E.

00:39:27.540 Yeah.

00:39:28.600 She is on people that I don't know,

00:39:30.140 but I feel like they're probably very famous for young people.

00:39:32.480 She had on Brianna Chicken Fry.

00:39:35.120 She had on Josh Richards.

00:39:36.860 I don't know these people.

00:39:37.940 Oh,

00:39:38.060 you don't know Josh Richards,

00:39:39.060 bro?

00:39:39.720 No.

00:39:40.000 It was funny because the one I like,

00:39:43.600 it was the,

00:39:44.020 the,

00:39:44.240 the Playboy show from E.

00:39:45.860 Um,

00:39:46.340 house,

00:39:46.720 not,

00:39:47.000 uh,

00:39:47.860 you know what I'm talking about?

00:39:48.720 The one that,

00:39:49.320 uh,

00:39:49.600 was like soft core,

00:39:50.520 not soft core porn,

00:39:51.400 but like,

00:39:51.740 can I just say how weird it is that like podcasts,

00:39:53.960 podcasts are now in this space like where,

00:39:57.880 uh,

00:39:58.260 I think Vivek is doing one with Elon.

00:40:00.760 They're going to do one weekly about the fucking government and they're in the government.

00:40:03.900 Oh my God.

00:40:04.500 That's what podcasts are right now.

00:40:06.080 Are they doing a Doge podcast?

00:40:06.900 It's just going to,

00:40:07.480 literally all Doge is going to be them like hyping up shit that they don't end up doing.

00:40:11.060 Like,

00:40:11.480 dude,

00:40:11.640 wouldn't it be cool if we just like gutted the FBI?

00:40:14.060 I mean,

00:40:14.280 we're not going to do it,

00:40:14.900 but it'd be super fucking cool.

00:40:16.340 It does.

00:40:16.800 That does more damage to that government because listen,

00:40:19.940 if you're going to try to actually break it down,

00:40:21.620 someone's going to shoot you.

00:40:22.500 You can't like dismantle the CIA,

00:40:24.540 but if you have an ultra popular podcast and you're working within this and you're talking about it

00:40:28.740 and everybody thinks that there's not much that they can do.

00:40:31.740 It'll have to be defunded.

00:40:33.040 It's actually genius.

00:40:33.860 This is why I said that like people,

00:40:36.560 especially the people in our world that we're getting all upset.

00:40:39.160 They're like,

00:40:39.380 they're not even creating a new official agency to gut the government.

00:40:42.360 And I was like,

00:40:42.760 well,

00:40:43.100 one,

00:40:43.560 you really want a new agency?

00:40:44.560 That sounds retarded.

00:40:45.540 Two,

00:40:45.860 do you think that there's any two human beings that have like a larger loudspeaker right now than fucking Elon and Vivek combined?

00:40:52.500 Like the two of them just get on,

00:40:54.280 on X and they go,

00:40:55.280 we're cutting this.

00:40:56.420 An African and an Indian.

00:40:57.800 Yeah.

00:40:58.140 They fucking loud as shit.

00:40:59.780 That's crazy.

00:41:00.500 That makes,

00:41:01.160 that makes Vivek like the second,

00:41:03.340 probably the second most popular person on Twitter.

00:41:06.280 Or he will be after this.

00:41:07.820 Yeah.

00:41:07.940 It might be after,

00:41:08.680 after a while.

00:41:09.280 Yeah.

00:41:09.440 Imagine if they give them like the RSS emergency feed or whatever,

00:41:12.860 you know,

00:41:13.140 like the,

00:41:13.440 the one that we play with like a,

00:41:15.220 this is an emergency broadcast and it's some street shitter on your screen.

00:41:19.600 You're like,

00:41:19.940 fuck,

00:41:20.560 I was watching Golden Girls.

00:41:22.320 Let me tell you why we get,

00:41:23.660 we hate the FBI.

00:41:25.020 I will,

00:41:25.420 I will say this though.

00:41:26.620 It is going to be excruciating.

00:41:28.260 Cause Elon,

00:41:29.240 if you've ever heard him speak,

00:41:30.480 it's a nightmare.

00:41:32.200 So you're going to have Vivek,

00:41:33.120 who's like the super eloquent,

00:41:34.560 eloquent,

00:41:35.000 like a rapid fire.

00:41:36.740 And then Elon takes like an hour and a half to say a sentence.

00:41:39.620 It's actually a good point.

00:41:40.820 Yeah.

00:41:41.000 I think that's a pretty good,

00:41:42.640 yeah,

00:41:42.880 I agree with that.

00:41:44.120 Why do you think he actually runs his companies?

00:41:46.420 He does so much other shit.

00:41:48.280 He's a fake person.

00:41:49.680 I don't even,

00:41:50.120 he's up,

00:41:51.020 he's up playing fucking,

00:41:52.380 uh,

00:41:53.240 well,

00:41:53.580 it's not doing what's the game.

00:41:55.040 Um,

00:41:55.500 Diablo.

00:41:55.780 Oh,

00:41:56.080 yeah,

00:41:56.500 he plays Diablo three.

00:41:58.120 And he's like,

00:41:58.740 I'm like,

00:41:59.580 I'm like,

00:41:59.840 don't you have five fortune 500 companies?

00:42:02.700 Not only,

00:42:03.240 not only is he like playing Diablo four,

00:42:05.440 he's like a top hundred player in the world of Diablo four.

00:42:09.340 It doesn't do anything.

00:42:10.560 This is what I'm saying.

00:42:11.160 This is,

00:42:11.520 he's not launching,

00:42:12.320 uh,

00:42:12.800 rockets into space.

00:42:13.680 Leaders delegate top.

00:42:15.160 Okay.

00:42:16.260 This dude,

00:42:17.080 I don't even,

00:42:17.700 I don't,

00:42:17.940 I think he's a fucking alien.

00:42:19.400 I don't know.

00:42:20.440 I don't know.

00:42:21.840 A hundred percent.

00:42:22.440 Actually,

00:42:22.720 you know,

00:42:22.860 he is an alien and he doesn't fuck any of those girls.

00:42:25.140 That's all.

00:42:25.540 He's from Africa.

00:42:27.320 This is all that's been settled.

00:42:29.540 I think he's from out of space,

00:42:30.720 dude.

00:42:31.220 If space is real.

00:42:33.100 Who?

00:42:33.740 Vivek?

00:42:34.680 No fucking Elon.

00:42:36.240 Oh,

00:42:36.420 Elon.

00:42:36.920 Oh yeah,

00:42:37.160 that's right.

00:42:37.560 He is weird.

00:42:38.780 He's a weird,

00:42:39.600 weird guy.

00:42:40.280 I don't know.

00:42:40.700 Yeah.

00:42:41.800 It is so funny.

00:42:42.860 Like,

00:42:43.280 I wouldn't want him to follow me.

00:42:44.660 It would be,

00:42:45.000 what did you,

00:42:45.520 what did you think the,

00:42:46.820 uh,

00:42:47.540 whenever they came up with the,

00:42:48.780 like the acronym for Doge for like the,

00:42:51.340 whatever government thing?

00:42:52.600 What do you think that meeting looked like?

00:42:54.280 Department of government efficiency.

00:42:55.020 Yeah.

00:42:55.320 What do you think that looked like?

00:42:56.400 Cause you know,

00:42:57.040 he was just like,

00:42:58.360 I think we should,

00:42:59.220 uh,

00:42:59.780 call it department of government efficient.

00:43:03.300 Doge.

00:43:03.540 It had to be so fucking gay.

00:43:07.080 Department of government efficiency.

00:43:10.700 I thought it was funny the first time I heard it.

00:43:14.980 No,

00:43:15.460 he's autistic.

00:43:16.200 He's autistic the same way that a Toad is.

00:43:18.680 So he's very good at these acronyms.

00:43:20.580 He doesn't actually run a company.

00:43:22.280 He just makes acronyms.

00:43:23.680 He just sits around thinking of acronyms.

00:43:25.380 Even for his kid's name.

00:43:26.860 For his kid's name.

00:43:28.480 Just acronyms.

00:43:29.540 That's it.

00:43:30.080 How did he become so successful?

00:43:33.000 He named one of his kids ex too.

00:43:35.140 Yeah.

00:43:35.480 Yeah.

00:43:35.760 His kid is,

00:43:36.840 uh,

00:43:36.860 uh,

00:43:37.100 what?

00:43:37.360 Oh fuck.

00:43:38.460 His kid has like a symbol as an,

00:43:40.360 as one of his letters or fucking for his name.

00:43:43.080 But like the state wouldn't allow it.

00:43:44.600 So they had to give him a name.

00:43:45.680 I think it's.

00:43:46.140 Oh,

00:43:46.260 did he really?

00:43:47.160 Yeah,

00:43:47.340 I think so.

00:43:48.020 Really?

00:43:48.620 Why are we allowing this,

00:43:50.200 like a person like this to be like very influential in our society right now?

00:43:55.820 No one's not going to think.

00:43:57.300 He's got,

00:43:57.740 he's got like a hundred bodyguards.

00:44:01.040 No,

00:44:01.420 I'm just saying like,

00:44:02.260 he has a hundred bodyguards.

00:44:05.280 Is that what you said?

00:44:06.260 Yeah.

00:44:06.940 He's got,

00:44:07.520 he's got three personal,

00:44:08.920 uh,

00:44:09.300 that are with him all the time.

00:44:10.600 And then like another,

00:44:11.880 I guess,

00:44:12.280 97 that just start handling the,

00:44:14.320 perimeter sprinting around the edges,

00:44:16.960 like Ninja,

00:44:17.920 like Naruto running around trees.

00:44:20.200 That's so weird,

00:44:21.280 right?

00:44:21.620 Like,

00:44:21.880 so yeah,

00:44:22.600 we're dealing with somebody that that's never really,

00:44:25.160 really happened before.

00:44:26.760 Like he's on like an ultra level of famous now.

00:44:28.920 Like he's the richest man in human history.

00:44:31.520 Yeah.

00:44:32.020 He's,

00:44:32.360 and he's,

00:44:32.700 he's creating the internet.

00:44:34.340 We use the cars.

00:44:35.300 We drive the shit that will eventually be put in our head.

00:44:38.480 No one drives those goddamn useless cars.

00:44:40.720 Dude,

00:44:41.200 everyone drives them.

00:44:42.060 Lots of people drive them.

00:44:43.340 Tons of people drive them.

00:44:44.280 Oh,

00:44:44.480 I see them all the time.

00:44:45.560 Well,

00:44:46.180 yeah.

00:44:47.660 It is like,

00:44:48.220 it is crazy though to see a Cybertruck because even though I think it looks like shit.

00:44:51.540 There's like 10 of them next to me.

00:44:53.060 This is what I'm saying.

00:44:53.780 It's this dude is taking over the world and no one's really stopping to say your kid's named X.

00:44:59.120 You know what I find weird is that every time,

00:45:01.400 well,

00:45:01.520 I remember when I first saw the photo of the,

00:45:03.360 the Cybertruck,

00:45:04.100 I was like,

00:45:04.440 that looks like shit.

00:45:05.180 And then I saw someone post online saying,

00:45:07.040 I just saw a Cybertruck in person and it is the coolest thing you'll ever see.

00:45:09.940 And then I saw one in person.

00:45:11.680 It looks like shit.

00:45:12.680 I hate it.

00:45:13.360 No,

00:45:13.740 no,

00:45:13.840 it looks like shit.

00:45:14.640 But every time you go with like,

00:45:15.700 Oh shit,

00:45:16.020 a Cybertruck.

00:45:17.080 Like that every time,

00:45:17.840 every time I see one,

00:45:18.440 I go a Cybertruck right there.

00:45:19.880 Where I live.

00:45:21.280 You will see one every time you leave my,

00:45:23.540 my condo.

00:45:24.300 You will see one every single time.

00:45:25.440 They're everywhere.

00:45:26.620 I still like seeing them.

00:45:27.640 Every time I see one,

00:45:28.540 I say,

00:45:28.800 I don't like the way it looks,

00:45:31.160 but I like seeing it.

00:45:32.400 Yeah.

00:45:32.660 That's what I'm saying.

00:45:33.400 I actually understand.

00:45:34.600 Dude,

00:45:34.960 it looks like it's probably comfy as fuck in there.

00:45:37.000 I'm not going to lie.

00:45:38.020 Clint maybe should.

00:45:38.720 I don't know.

00:45:39.380 It looks like it's going to be hot.

00:45:40.560 It's made out of stainless steel.

00:45:42.480 I'll tell you,

00:45:42.780 I'll tell you.

00:45:43.300 It's literally like,

00:45:44.200 I might be back in on the Cybertruck.

00:45:46.740 All right.

00:45:47.220 And you know what?

00:45:47.600 Bring up the Cybertruck.

00:45:48.540 Let's look at the interior of this bad boy.

00:45:50.640 Let's,

00:45:50.800 let's take a,

00:45:52.020 let's take a ride through what we're offering.

00:45:54.240 A couple of things.

00:45:55.220 I don't know if Clint,

00:45:56.520 because so Clint's Corvette,

00:45:57.700 do you like the noise?

00:45:58.960 Do you like the noise it makes?

00:46:00.780 That's,

00:46:01.120 that's a big thing.

00:46:01.660 So nice.

00:46:02.040 Yeah.

00:46:02.720 Okay.

00:46:03.080 So you,

00:46:03.920 so you like hearing the engine.

00:46:06.760 Yeah.

00:46:07.000 It's behind you too,

00:46:07.880 which is fucking super cool.

00:46:08.300 Okay.

00:46:08.520 Okay.

00:46:08.740 Because you won't hear a thing in this.

00:46:10.940 I don't know if that's more cozy or less cozy to not hear anything.

00:46:14.360 This thing doesn't even have a logo on it.

00:46:16.520 Dude.

00:46:17.380 Yeah.

00:46:17.580 I like that.

00:46:18.000 It doesn't need one.

00:46:19.480 Look at it.

00:46:20.020 It looks so bad.

00:46:21.340 It's awful,

00:46:22.380 but I like watching it go.

00:46:23.900 It's also really funny because it sucks off road as well.

00:46:27.500 Like they've tested it.

00:46:28.860 Like it's awful.

00:46:30.480 It's just going to have like an electrical fire and you'll die.

00:46:32.760 Cyber beast.

00:46:33.360 It's awesome.

00:46:33.920 You know,

00:46:34.080 it'd be cool if,

00:46:34.940 if this show was so successful that we could just be like,

00:46:37.160 let's just buy one.

00:46:38.120 And then we just click buy.

00:46:39.840 Put like tower game graphics all on.

00:46:42.040 Yeah.

00:46:43.080 We should.

00:46:44.240 Dude,

00:46:44.620 tower game cyber truck would fuck.

00:46:46.940 Oh shit.

00:46:48.080 Also,

00:46:48.340 can you imagine our faces?

00:46:49.620 Like one of our faces on a door,

00:46:51.060 another on the door,

00:46:51.740 one on the hood,

00:46:52.380 one on the back.

00:46:53.020 It'd be great.

00:46:53.900 It also has to be hot as shit.

00:46:55.880 It's made out of stainless steel.

00:46:57.820 It has to be hot as fuck in there.

00:47:00.000 You think there's not air conditioning ever?

00:47:01.720 I understand there's air conditioning,

00:47:03.040 but you know,

00:47:03.380 like when you get in your car,

00:47:04.320 the first thing in like in the summer,

00:47:05.700 it's like a hundred thousand dollar car with no air conditioning.

00:47:08.620 No,

00:47:08.820 no,

00:47:09.000 no,

00:47:09.080 no.

00:47:09.260 But like you get in there and you sit down in your fucking leather seats

00:47:12.000 and it burns you.

00:47:13.320 That has to be every time you get into a cyber truck.

00:47:15.840 I just want to point out that Z man's awesome said a TG wrapped

00:47:18.840 cyber truck would be raw.

00:47:20.320 I assume that's a good thing.

00:47:21.460 And he means like awesome.

00:47:22.400 And he goes,

00:47:23.040 he goes like only faggots drive Corvettes.

00:47:25.120 I don't fucking like this guy.

00:47:26.320 I want it out of the chat.

00:47:27.960 Immediately.

00:47:28.820 Dude.

00:47:30.000 What the fuck?

00:47:30.820 This logo on the fucking cyber truck would be a banger.

00:47:33.700 Oh my God.

00:47:34.540 Like make it like that design.

00:47:36.160 Like the exact,

00:47:36.840 like the Jurassic Park design.

00:47:37.960 Just replicate the Jurassic Park truck.

00:47:39.240 But with that.

00:47:40.220 Yeah.

00:47:40.520 Yeah.

00:47:40.660 Yeah.

00:47:40.720 Make it like the Jurassic Park truck.

00:47:43.160 Like a Jurassic Park cyber truck,

00:47:44.860 but with a cock instead of the.

00:47:46.180 Tyler,

00:47:46.860 pull up the,

00:47:47.460 the Jurassic Park truck,

00:47:48.600 please.

00:47:49.220 Actually,

00:47:49.620 listen,

00:47:49.880 to make this happen,

00:47:50.740 we could actually do this.

00:47:52.120 Listen,

00:47:52.400 if everybody here gave,

00:47:53.720 uh,

00:47:54.060 $20 a month,

00:47:55.600 go to the bottom,

00:47:56.700 right hand corner.

00:47:57.420 Jurassic Park gave us money.

00:48:00.180 But who would have it?

00:48:01.760 I think,

00:48:02.100 I think in like 30 years,

00:48:03.340 we might get enough from our Patreon to get one.

00:48:05.160 It's the other way.

00:48:05.780 It would have to be us.

00:48:06.700 It would have to be like me or Jose to have it because,

00:48:10.040 or,

00:48:10.140 or maybe you.

00:48:11.120 Cause Clinton,

00:48:12.140 Clinton Toad can't have a fucking dick truck in,

00:48:15.400 in the city where they're at.

00:48:16.520 They wouldn't fly.

00:48:17.860 I couldn't have any truck in the city.

00:48:19.360 In Miami?

00:48:20.440 They'd be like,

00:48:21.140 that's awesome.

00:48:22.580 Yeah.

00:48:23.020 They're trying to sit on it.

00:48:24.060 It wouldn't even fit in Boston.

00:48:25.620 This is what we could afford right now.

00:48:28.300 What is it?

00:48:29.340 Like a RAV4?

00:48:30.560 We'll work our way up.

00:48:32.360 Dude,

00:48:32.700 it's only $14.50.

00:48:34.180 Let's get one.

00:48:34.960 Yeah.

00:48:35.760 Yeah.

00:48:36.040 Jurassic Park.

00:48:36.860 Exactly.

00:48:38.020 Yo,

00:48:38.240 that would go fucking hard.

00:48:39.900 Like that same,

00:48:41.100 you see the yellow,

00:48:42.020 the yellow green split on the cyber truck with the fucking tower gang.

00:48:46.480 It would,

00:48:46.860 it would look amazing.

00:48:47.360 Tower park.

00:48:47.900 How was that not the first thing that came up?

00:48:49.780 The,

00:48:49.940 the,

00:48:50.180 the,

00:48:50.520 you guys know what I'm talking about.

00:48:51.720 The Jurassic Park truck thing.

00:48:53.940 How was that?

00:48:54.200 Yeah.

00:48:54.380 The one that they pull off the cliff or something that they got to like drive it up.

00:48:57.260 It's like that design is based off of.

00:48:59.680 It's like,

00:48:59.960 it's like the Jeep.

00:49:01.060 Yeah.

00:49:01.340 The Jeep.

00:49:01.780 Yeah.

00:49:02.940 I don't know.

00:49:03.300 Maybe it's,

00:49:04.180 yeah.

00:49:04.480 I just like it when Newman gets fucking.

00:49:07.440 I watched the new,

00:49:08.460 the new Jurassic Park.

00:49:08.920 You guys know what I'm talking about?

00:49:10.020 I love that part.

00:49:10.880 It's so funny.

00:49:11.560 It's like,

00:49:12.680 it goes.

00:49:14.680 Are you guys ready for a laney edit?

00:49:16.140 I think we're ready for a laney edit.

00:49:17.540 We have a laney edit.

00:49:18.360 Yeah.

00:49:18.860 We got one more mailbag,

00:49:19.860 I think.

00:49:20.280 Oh,

00:49:20.600 one more mailbag.

00:49:21.120 One more mailbag.

00:49:22.900 We're going to have.

00:49:24.120 Yes.

00:49:24.640 My ailment is a point.

00:49:25.860 I think as well.

00:49:27.620 Mutuals,

00:49:28.140 you've actually jerked off to.

00:49:29.540 I don't.

00:49:31.220 I'm not really jerked off to people like that.

00:49:34.420 I'm not really jerked off to people like that.

00:49:35.320 So that's one.

00:49:36.240 I jerked off to all of you guys.

00:49:37.980 So that's more.

00:49:38.380 Tiny Yikki's.

00:49:38.780 Yeah,

00:49:38.980 that's true.

00:49:39.800 This girl,

00:49:43.600 I forget her name all the time.

00:49:44.600 Does Reed count?

00:49:46.180 Ashton doesn't follow me.

00:49:48.400 Yeah,

00:49:48.660 she unfollowed me.

00:49:50.920 I'm going to say,

00:49:52.020 not my proudest.

00:49:52.460 I see what you did there,

00:49:53.340 you sick fuck.

00:49:54.040 But Clint,

00:49:54.700 you were in the scenario in my head too,

00:49:56.620 so don't feel bad.

00:49:57.680 All right,

00:49:57.960 thanks,

00:49:58.220 man.

00:49:58.640 Dude,

00:49:58.860 she's like a mini Cybertruck.

00:50:00.300 Oh my God.

00:50:01.520 I've already said this.

00:50:02.540 This is my joke.

00:50:03.400 I really do like her,

00:50:05.060 but Jesus.

00:50:06.060 I like her too.

00:50:07.680 It's so crazy how like,

00:50:09.040 the legs of a normal person.

00:50:10.960 Everything is normal.

00:50:12.000 You think those are normal legs?

00:50:13.760 Yeah,

00:50:13.940 they are.

00:50:14.560 She has like normal sized legs,

00:50:16.120 and her body is like crushed.

00:50:16.640 It's the proportions go off elsewhere.

00:50:18.420 It's like the arms and the legs are fine,

00:50:19.980 but then like,

00:50:20.580 it's everything else.

00:50:21.580 I'm trying to cover,

00:50:22.260 I'm going to cover the top.

00:50:24.040 She's like a grape that has like sticks,

00:50:26.420 like coming out of it.

00:50:27.900 Top,

00:50:28.160 top,

00:50:28.400 don't you look at her and just think to yourself like,

00:50:30.180 oh God must not be real.

00:50:31.800 No?

00:50:33.060 No,

00:50:33.580 no,

00:50:33.900 I think God's hilarious.

00:50:37.980 Weirdest thing I've jerked off to?

00:50:41.140 Literally a Facebook picture.

00:50:42.460 I mean,

00:50:44.980 I mean,

00:50:45.460 I've definitely,

00:50:45.980 when I was like a kid,

00:50:47.080 jerked off some weird shit probably.

00:50:49.640 In high school.

00:50:50.600 Like,

00:50:50.880 I definitely jerked off the JCPenney catalogs

00:50:52.900 when I was a little kid.

00:50:53.680 Yeah,

00:50:53.960 like that kind of standard stuff.

00:50:55.520 For a secret catalog.

00:50:56.600 For me,

00:50:57.280 for me,

00:50:57.680 since I'm the oldest,

00:50:58.580 I may be the only one that's done this,

00:50:59.800 probably not.

00:51:01.000 There was,

00:51:01.700 there was Spice channel,

00:51:03.460 but we didn't have it.

00:51:04.480 So I would just,

00:51:05.360 I would just watch the squiggles

00:51:06.900 and jerk off to it.

00:51:08.000 I think that maybe I was seeing a titty.

00:51:10.720 I've done it too.

00:51:13.880 That's definitely the weirdest thing I've ever thought of.

00:51:16.060 Wait,

00:51:16.140 wait,

00:51:16.240 wait,

00:51:16.420 wait,

00:51:16.540 wait.

00:51:16.620 So like,

00:51:17.480 Spice channel was all black as well.

00:51:20.260 Wasn't it?

00:51:21.260 I don't know.

00:51:21.860 I've never saw it on Scramble,

00:51:22.980 but that's hilarious.

00:51:23.800 So like,

00:51:25.600 you,

00:51:25.980 like the,

00:51:26.500 the channels wouldn't be like,

00:51:27.740 just locked behind just a black screen.

00:51:29.620 It would still just,

00:51:30.600 it was terribly scrambled,

00:51:32.080 but it would be like,

00:51:33.360 there would be these moments where it would come into vision

00:51:35.460 and you might see a nipple or some shit.

00:51:37.380 Like for like a split second.

00:51:39.260 I'm just jerking off fucking waiting for that moment.

00:51:41.520 It's insane.

00:51:42.300 It's insane.

00:51:42.680 It was all analog.

00:51:44.220 None of this stuff is digital.

00:51:45.380 So it's not like stopped or approved by somebody else.

00:51:47.920 They're scrambling the signal actively.

00:51:49.760 So that's why we can get like a black box

00:51:51.520 and you would charge up your cable box for three hours

00:51:54.740 and it would unscramble.

00:51:56.080 It would put out a signal to unscramble.

00:51:57.600 And after a while,

00:51:58.500 the scramble will come back.

00:51:59.340 So I used to switch from one channel to the next.

00:52:01.840 And for a split second,

00:52:02.940 you could see a full picture and then scramble.

00:52:04.720 And I would do that shit.

00:52:05.400 I guess that's weird.

00:52:12.820 I don't know.

00:52:13.180 I feel like that's ingenuity,

00:52:14.440 not weird.

00:52:15.700 Have you ever jerked off to a smell?

00:52:18.940 Yep.

00:52:19.700 Just your mom's hair.

00:52:20.520 He had to think about it.

00:52:22.260 A smell?

00:52:23.880 Let me explain to you.

00:52:25.760 When I was in basic training,

00:52:27.520 like you go,

00:52:29.600 you're there for months with just dudes.

00:52:31.380 You don't get it.

00:52:31.800 Like you're not jerking.

00:52:32.760 Like literally you have no privacy,

00:52:34.780 but then like there's no chicks,

00:52:37.080 nothing.

00:52:37.680 Like the only time you really ever see chicks

00:52:39.300 is sometimes there'll be other flights,

00:52:41.420 which are just groups because they do their training too.

00:52:43.680 They'll be like marching in groups.

00:52:44.740 And like you're just,

00:52:47.620 you,

00:52:47.860 you'll go,

00:52:48.640 one of them will come by you and you get a smell.

00:52:51.180 And you've gone so long without like any sort of interaction with women at all.

00:52:55.360 They're just like getting hit with like the wave of that like flight of women,

00:52:58.700 the group of women coming towards you.

00:53:00.020 You're like,

00:53:00.400 yeah.

00:53:03.140 Clint's so old.

00:53:03.940 He used to slow jerk in a field waiting for a cloud to look like butt cheeks.

00:53:07.360 The crazy thing is I'm not crazy.

00:53:09.280 I've talked to other military guys and they're like,

00:53:10.960 yeah,

00:53:11.340 yeah.

00:53:12.400 I will say,

00:53:14.040 I haven't ever jerked off to a smell,

00:53:15.540 but there is a smell that actually makes my dick soft.

00:53:19.020 Is this retarded chick that used to blow me in high school that,

00:53:22.540 I mean,

00:53:22.700 she's not actually retarded,

00:53:24.100 but she was retarded.

00:53:25.320 But she wore,

00:53:26.160 she wore this perfume that smelled like terrible.

00:53:28.700 It was like only grandmother's wear.

00:53:29.900 She kept sucking my dick.

00:53:30.800 She's clearly retarded.

00:53:32.080 Well,

00:53:32.300 she was retarded for that too.

00:53:33.440 But anyways,

00:53:34.100 she was just totally an idiot.

00:53:35.860 And anyways,

00:53:37.220 I met some,

00:53:38.380 like one of my buddy's moms was wearing it one time and I was like,

00:53:41.960 oh,

00:53:42.280 she smells like that retarded bitch that used to blow me.

00:53:45.100 It was just weird.

00:53:45.860 No,

00:53:46.360 so what I used to do,

00:53:47.980 what I used to do when I was playing music and it's like retarded,

00:53:51.720 I would take different smells and I'd play different notes.

00:53:55.440 And then I'd correlate the note to a smell because.

00:53:58.220 You're like the Jimi Hendrix of smells.

00:54:00.320 Well,

00:54:00.460 no,

00:54:00.660 like,

00:54:00.980 so if you could,

00:54:01.980 your sense of smell is directly tied to your memory.

00:54:04.200 So I was doing that,

00:54:04.940 but it happened with my ex.

00:54:06.280 That's why it's so overwhelming with like,

00:54:07.820 like in basic training,

00:54:09.020 like that sort of situation.

00:54:10.060 You're like,

00:54:10.680 oh my,

00:54:11.000 you just remember women.

00:54:12.680 Like you're like crazy.

00:54:13.620 Oh,

00:54:13.860 my ex,

00:54:14.300 my ex wore a certain Burberry.

00:54:15.920 Gummy bears are a bad thing,

00:54:17.600 by the way.

00:54:18.760 It's a bad thing.

00:54:20.140 I don't think I understand this.

00:54:21.160 Oh,

00:54:22.040 fuck yeah,

00:54:22.540 pussy.

00:54:22.840 No,

00:54:24.660 not good.

00:54:25.240 Like stanky,

00:54:26.280 stanky stuff,

00:54:27.220 dude.

00:54:28.060 That's a bummer.

00:54:29.140 Cole never wants to eat gum here.

00:54:30.340 For me,

00:54:31.000 it was like,

00:54:31.680 this chick had like slept in my bed and it still smelled like that for a long period of time.

00:54:36.980 So do you just bury your face?

00:54:38.360 Wait,

00:54:38.560 wait,

00:54:38.860 wait,

00:54:38.980 wait,

00:54:39.180 wait,

00:54:39.400 wait,

00:54:39.860 wait,

00:54:40.180 so you were jerking off to that?

00:54:41.800 Are you talking about fucking,

00:54:42.720 are you talking about Ashton?

00:54:44.360 at least once.

00:54:45.600 Whoa,

00:54:45.780 whoa,

00:54:45.960 whoa,

00:54:46.140 whoa,

00:54:46.460 whoa,

00:54:46.680 whoa,

00:54:46.880 whoa,

00:54:47.000 back up.

00:54:47.880 Ashton did sleep over his way up.

00:54:49.960 no,

00:54:50.020 no,

00:54:50.280 no,

00:54:50.360 this is in college.

00:54:51.800 What did you,

00:54:52.360 okay,

00:54:52.620 what did you just admit to?

00:54:54.260 I'm sorry,

00:54:54.760 rephrase that.

00:54:55.880 He jerked off to bed sheets.

00:54:57.700 Yeah,

00:54:57.900 in college.

00:55:00.620 Yeah,

00:55:01.080 college.

00:55:02.060 Did you know the girl?

00:55:02.920 Yeah,

00:55:03.140 two years ago.

00:55:05.320 You knew her.

00:55:06.520 I think I've told this story before.

00:55:07.760 I mean,

00:55:07.960 it was a college dormitory,

00:55:09.160 not my college.

00:55:09.960 Yeah,

00:55:10.160 she was like.

00:55:10.580 I didn't,

00:55:10.880 I didn't jerk off to it,

00:55:12.180 but this,

00:55:12.600 I forget her name,

00:55:13.920 but my best friend in elementary school,

00:55:15.920 his name is Sean,

00:55:17.240 and her,

00:55:18.140 and his mother had these,

00:55:19.960 I mean,

00:55:20.160 she was just disgusting.

00:55:21.280 She smoked cigarettes,

00:55:22.080 smelled terrible,

00:55:22.800 but she had these huge fucking hangers,

00:55:25.400 like Mama Heavies,

00:55:26.680 right?

00:55:27.020 And,

00:55:27.240 and so I went to her room,

00:55:28.960 and I fucking,

00:55:29.560 and I put my face into her bra.

00:55:32.460 Oh my God.

00:55:33.120 Oh,

00:55:33.240 I remember you saying that,

00:55:34.460 dude.

00:55:34.640 That's so gross.

00:55:36.360 Wait,

00:55:36.540 how old were you at this point?

00:55:37.600 Oh,

00:55:37.680 this is in elementary school?

00:55:38.620 I was like eight.

00:55:39.620 I don't know.

00:55:39.720 This is,

00:55:39.940 this is a shit.

00:55:40.480 Are you trying to crank it,

00:55:41.360 or are you saying I didn't even know what that was?

00:55:42.320 No,

00:55:42.500 I didn't even know about that.

00:55:43.400 I was just like,

00:55:43.980 I just saw this huge bra,

00:55:45.480 and I was just like,

00:55:46.040 I just put my face into it,

00:55:47.080 and then I put it back.

00:55:47.660 This is the chick who was like,

00:55:48.800 sort of dating me,

00:55:49.820 like for some period of time,

00:55:51.220 and then,

00:55:51.580 no,

00:55:52.120 no,

00:55:52.400 she was,

00:55:52.840 no,

00:55:53.260 and then she was like,

00:55:53.860 with these other dudes,

00:55:54.860 and I got mad,

00:55:55.560 and she hurled an iron at my head.

00:55:58.560 What?

00:55:59.000 It was wild,

00:55:59.740 man.

00:56:00.080 What do you think it takes for a guy,

00:56:01.500 and you're still dealing with abuse?

00:56:03.360 Yes.

00:56:03.980 What do you think it takes for a guy,

00:56:04.920 to get into like,

00:56:05.940 panty sniffing?

00:56:06.980 Like,

00:56:07.160 what do you think the,

00:56:07.860 like the,

00:56:12.840 is that before,

00:56:13.600 or after sniffing bedsheets?

00:56:14.680 No,

00:56:14.960 you have to be the level lower than me,

00:56:16.840 because I don't even do that.

00:56:18.120 Yeah,

00:56:18.400 it seems like crazy,

00:56:19.400 because I remember like,

00:56:20.100 always hearing like,

00:56:20.840 panty raiding,

00:56:21.600 and you go in there,

00:56:22.180 and you take your panties,

00:56:22.840 like,

00:56:23.160 I think it's Indian dudes.

00:56:24.820 Like,

00:56:25.060 I don't care about seeing her panties,

00:56:26.300 like,

00:56:26.620 I bet you Top likes to sniff panties.

00:56:29.160 No,

00:56:29.600 I think it's weird.

00:56:30.540 See,

00:56:30.760 you look at him smiling,

00:56:31.620 and he's like,

00:56:32.060 yeah,

00:56:32.500 I do a lot of,

00:56:32.960 and he's like,

00:56:34.180 yeah.

00:56:34.600 He does sniff your pants.

00:56:35.740 Sometimes he put away his wife on where he goes,

00:56:38.160 here's why I think it's weird.

00:56:39.360 This is why I think it's weird.

00:56:40.820 When you have kids,

00:56:42.540 you realize,

00:56:43.180 like,

00:56:43.300 I realize that my son and my daughter are both just as retarded and dirty,

00:56:46.940 and I'm like,

00:56:47.880 what,

00:56:48.260 like,

00:56:48.400 grown women are probably dirty?

00:56:50.640 Like,

00:56:50.840 my wife's not dirty,

00:56:51.800 but I'm like,

00:56:52.160 when I look at some of these bitches out there that look retarded,

00:56:54.220 I'm like,

00:56:54.480 they're probably just dirty,

00:56:55.740 nasty.

00:56:55.940 No,

00:56:56.200 but the thing is,

00:56:57.360 they like that.

00:56:58.240 They literally,

00:56:59.100 they ask for the panties after they like,

00:57:01.740 go like,

00:57:02.120 work out,

00:57:02.700 or like a full day.

00:57:03.420 No,

00:57:03.560 I don't mean like,

00:57:04.400 work out.

00:57:04.860 I mean like,

00:57:05.360 they probably stink all the time,

00:57:08.020 because they're just,

00:57:08.700 retarded.

00:57:09.600 Women are retarded,

00:57:10.820 and some of them wash good,

00:57:12.640 some of them don't.

00:57:13.580 I can almost guarantee it,

00:57:15.100 and it's disrespectful.

00:57:16.500 They're putting their underwear on ice cream and shit like that.

00:57:19.020 It's like,

00:57:19.600 what makes you think people want that?

00:57:21.600 Would you dirty?

00:57:22.340 You know who's super into it though,

00:57:23.800 is the Japanese.

00:57:24.880 They have vending machines with used panties there.

00:57:28.320 Yep.

00:57:29.760 When in Rome.

00:57:32.080 When in Japan.

00:57:33.360 When in Tokyo.

00:57:34.880 Yeah.

00:57:35.340 All right,

00:57:35.800 let's do Lainey,

00:57:36.380 guys.

00:57:36.820 Let's fucking do it.

00:57:38.060 Let's do Lainey.

00:57:39.020 While we pull up Lainey,

00:57:40.140 I got a question for Top.

00:57:41.420 What if your kids,

00:57:43.000 your son and your daughter,

00:57:44.280 find this show,

00:57:45.340 and they've watched so many hours of Toad,

00:57:47.600 being his lovable self,

00:57:48.900 that they fall in love with him as adults,

00:57:50.900 and they're in their 20s,

00:57:52.040 and then they pursue and marry,

00:57:54.300 both of them,

00:57:55.160 marry 60-year-old Toad.

00:57:56.820 How do you deal with that?

00:57:58.760 His line carries on through you.

00:58:01.160 I reject the premise,

00:58:02.560 number one,

00:58:03.400 Dave Smith,

00:58:04.220 but he'll be dead.

00:58:05.500 He's going to be dead in the next three years,

00:58:06.700 so I'm not worried about it at all.

00:58:07.420 Good point.

00:58:07.880 Good point.

00:58:08.520 This is like not even...

00:58:09.600 Saved by the bell.

00:58:11.020 Alainey Hobbamok production.

00:58:13.940 Let's check it out.

00:58:14.640 Can we stop this game of teasing?

00:58:29.200 Stop edging me.

00:58:30.840 Can we just watch the Lainey edit?

00:58:31.860 What are we doing here?

00:58:32.920 What I'm about to say isn't racist,

00:58:47.980 so this is totally different.

00:58:48.900 They don't assimilate or evolve.

00:58:50.400 It's crazy.

00:58:50.700 Yeah.

00:58:51.320 That is a good point.

00:58:52.420 Oh, no.

00:58:55.160 Hey, YouTube.

00:59:05.880 This is all a joke.

00:59:07.160 Relax.

00:59:07.860 And like,

00:59:08.420 whatever we say after that

00:59:09.680 ought to be allowed.

00:59:10.700 270,000 was a realistic number

00:59:13.100 that they were at.

00:59:14.220 Okay?

00:59:14.680 It ended with 6 million.

00:59:16.880 Okay?

00:59:17.240 I don't see any conflict

00:59:19.600 in that logic.

00:59:20.540 But it could...

00:59:21.440 What I made this guy do

00:59:29.140 is fucking a masterpiece.

00:59:33.300 Oh, you work for Big Tooth,

00:59:34.920 you fucking faggot.

00:59:35.640 Somebody...

00:59:41.140 Oh!

00:59:46.840 I'm a rapist,

00:59:48.100 but I control myself,

00:59:49.240 so I'm never ready.

00:59:50.000 If you're going to make

00:59:51.060 a rape joke,

00:59:52.020 I need to know

00:59:52.720 there's some possibility there.

01:00:06.700 I bet our viewers

01:00:09.580 really love getting notifications

01:00:10.880 for Better Off Dead.

01:00:12.120 They hate it.

01:00:12.660 They all want to kill me.

01:00:13.860 Yeah, there have been

01:00:15.100 a lot of complaints

01:00:15.820 about, like,

01:00:16.340 the Hobbs down this shit

01:00:17.220 on my feet.

01:00:17.740 That was sick.

01:00:36.940 I enjoyed that.

01:00:38.060 Oh, man.

01:00:40.040 Oh, God.

01:00:41.080 That guy got his fucking...

01:00:41.740 I feel like that was less violent

01:00:42.800 than the first time.

01:00:43.200 His whole leg cut off, dude.

01:00:44.480 Right through the fucking bone, dude.

01:00:46.480 I know.

01:00:46.840 Dude, he went for the Achilles.

01:00:48.580 That was...

01:00:49.060 That's mean.

01:00:50.480 Yeah.

01:00:50.980 No, it was...

01:00:51.600 Honestly, going for the Achilles

01:00:52.980 is probably...

01:00:53.660 It had a straight-up execution in it, though.

01:00:55.940 Going for the Achilles

01:00:56.800 might be the best place

01:00:57.580 to go for,

01:00:58.180 because just in case

01:00:59.380 that that person

01:01:00.360 had been dipped into

01:01:01.160 the river...

01:01:02.200 or the pond,

01:01:03.060 or whatever the fuck...

01:01:03.440 The river sticks.

01:01:04.260 Yeah.

01:01:04.780 Like, you never know.

01:01:06.760 You never know.

01:01:07.540 Just always go for the Achilles.

01:01:08.780 You never know

01:01:09.480 if that person is Achilles.

01:01:11.300 By the way,

01:01:11.940 did that wheelchair

01:01:12.600 have a bungee jump

01:01:14.000 attached to it?

01:01:14.560 Because it did not look like it.

01:01:15.840 Not sure.

01:01:16.960 I don't know.

01:01:17.300 I don't think so.

01:01:18.620 But how do you

01:01:20.220 slay this off

01:01:20.700 someone's leg

01:01:21.540 at the knee

01:01:22.160 with, like,

01:01:22.780 a quick chop...

01:01:23.320 And imagine just

01:01:24.100 walking along

01:01:24.960 and somebody, like...

01:01:26.720 I'd rather get knocked out

01:01:27.940 when they play

01:01:28.780 the knockout game.

01:01:29.520 This is...

01:01:29.840 Oh, my God.

01:01:30.660 You're really...

01:01:31.160 Yeah, you'd rather get

01:01:32.260 knocked out

01:01:32.700 than your leg chopped off?

01:01:33.780 Yeah, Topp,

01:01:34.240 I think so, too.

01:01:35.020 I get what Topp's saying.

01:01:35.960 Just to get that

01:01:36.780 in one fluid motion,

01:01:37.800 that is nuts.

01:01:38.740 Yeah, you're walking

01:01:39.840 in a no leg

01:01:40.620 for no reason.

01:01:41.400 Like, you're not even

01:01:41.940 seeing anything coming.

01:01:43.180 Oh, by the way,

01:01:44.100 are we going to talk

01:01:44.840 about Jake Paul

01:01:46.380 and fucking Mike Tyson

01:01:48.080 and seeing ass

01:01:49.440 on fucking neck?

01:01:50.860 With the fake goyslop

01:01:51.300 that everyone went for?

01:01:53.160 It literally was goyslop.

01:01:54.320 I understand that.

01:01:55.580 But, like...

01:01:55.900 That girl fight

01:01:56.380 was fucking great.

01:01:57.460 That girl fight

01:01:58.000 was amazing, by the way.

01:01:59.760 I mean,

01:02:00.280 fucking headbutts,

01:02:01.360 cutting her open.

01:02:01.840 I hate female fighting.

01:02:04.260 Like, ever since

01:02:04.980 Ronda Rousey retired,

01:02:05.920 it's just been

01:02:06.300 a fucking shit show.

01:02:08.020 Please be yes.

01:02:08.920 Please please Mike Tyson's ass.

01:02:10.200 Thank you.

01:02:10.600 Mike Tyson's ass

01:02:11.500 was the best part

01:02:13.080 of the fight.

01:02:14.220 I feel like...

01:02:15.080 Do you think

01:02:15.620 that that was scripted

01:02:16.580 just for the news-making

01:02:18.260 paralysis?

01:02:18.900 It had to be, dude.

01:02:20.300 There's no way.

01:02:20.740 I love you.

01:02:22.860 The best part

01:02:23.600 is he kisses him.

01:02:24.940 He kissed the guy.

01:02:25.940 But he still kissed him.

01:02:26.960 He goes,

01:02:27.180 I love you.

01:02:28.480 And, like,

01:02:28.620 really serious and intense

01:02:29.860 and walks away like that.

01:02:31.120 Yo, click that comment

01:02:32.360 from Heiss.

01:02:34.880 Is Jake Paul

01:02:35.840 really a fighter, though?

01:02:37.600 You don't think

01:02:38.040 that even at 58 years old,

01:02:39.780 Tyson can at least be

01:02:40.900 as good as Tommy Fury?

01:02:42.920 Ah, bad call, man.

01:02:44.260 Don't retweet it.

01:02:45.100 And I said,

01:02:45.540 no, back up.

01:02:46.720 I just said no.

01:02:47.900 I told you Jake would win.

01:02:48.860 I know you said no,

01:02:49.940 but I said,

01:02:50.400 I said,

01:02:51.040 Jake is a real fighter.

01:02:52.180 People will find out

01:02:53.100 in about an hour.

01:02:53.740 If Mike beats him,

01:02:54.340 it'll be legendary.

01:02:55.100 Mike's last boxing win

01:02:55.960 was 21 years ago.

01:02:57.460 People Are Living

01:02:58.120 and Waging on Nostalgia.

01:02:59.280 Was I wrong?

01:03:00.480 No.

01:03:00.780 No.

01:03:01.320 No, but, like,

01:03:02.320 I don't know.

01:03:02.580 It was fake either way.

01:03:03.660 Like, honestly,

01:03:04.660 I really hate it.

01:03:04.820 It was 100% set up, dude.

01:03:06.680 You can see it.

01:03:07.120 Like, you look at

01:03:07.640 the terms of the contract.

01:03:09.560 Like, it was set up.

01:03:11.220 All the incentives

01:03:11.840 were in place

01:03:12.400 for this to be

01:03:12.840 a long, drawn-out,

01:03:13.720 boring fight.

01:03:14.320 People keep saying that.

01:03:15.000 Now, if Mike Tyson

01:03:15.500 had come in there

01:03:16.240 like a couple years ago

01:03:17.420 and be like,

01:03:17.700 I'm going to murder

01:03:18.300 this motherfucker,

01:03:19.240 we would have seen

01:03:19.940 a very, very, very

01:03:20.900 different fight.

01:03:21.580 Now, like,

01:03:22.420 would Jake Paul win?

01:03:23.980 I don't know.

01:03:24.360 You haven't seen Tyson

01:03:27.180 be good in a fight

01:03:28.660 in 20 years.

01:03:29.720 I don't know

01:03:30.040 what the fuck

01:03:30.520 people are talking about.

01:03:31.760 I still think

01:03:32.340 it was definitely set up.

01:03:33.800 Dude, just watch him

01:03:34.840 in his walkout

01:03:36.120 when he looked

01:03:36.740 literally like he was sad.

01:03:38.900 Yeah, this shit is crazy.

01:03:40.400 Yeah.

01:03:41.440 My daughter wants to get mad

01:03:42.740 so I'm going to go

01:03:43.500 get $100 million.

01:03:45.100 Man.

01:03:46.960 He could have fucking

01:03:47.660 destroyed his ass.

01:03:48.880 It means he doesn't

01:03:49.440 have the fucking reach.

01:03:50.480 Look out.

01:03:50.840 His arms are really short.

01:03:52.620 Yeah.

01:03:52.800 He's like a T-Rex.

01:03:54.840 I can't believe

01:03:55.320 people see that

01:03:56.060 and they go,

01:03:56.740 oh, he was pulling his punch.

01:03:58.100 Jake sees the punch

01:03:58.960 coming a mile away.

01:03:59.720 He pulls his head back.

01:04:00.680 He would have been

01:04:00.980 out of range.

01:04:01.900 I don't think,

01:04:02.480 I think he would,

01:04:03.180 it would have landed

01:04:03.760 but it would have

01:04:04.280 knocked him out

01:04:04.840 and I think that

01:04:05.700 it would not have landed.

01:04:07.240 He didn't land a fucking

01:04:08.040 punch on his head

01:04:08.680 the whole night.

01:04:09.220 He only had one

01:04:09.800 on his neck.

01:04:10.800 The people who say

01:04:11.520 that this was completely

01:04:12.380 set up have never fought.

01:04:13.920 Like, Tyson was getting,

01:04:15.060 every time he got in close,

01:04:16.380 first off he was tired

01:04:17.360 and he was getting hit.

01:04:18.840 And when you're getting hit,

01:04:19.940 you're not going to,

01:04:20.460 like that punch right there,

01:04:22.400 he probably pulled back on it

01:04:23.680 because he's gotten hit

01:04:24.640 a couple of times

01:04:25.520 right before that.

01:04:26.280 So it's like,

01:04:26.900 I still think it was set up.

01:04:27.880 I just don't think

01:04:28.400 they would actually,

01:04:29.080 I mean like.

01:04:29.620 I do think he was

01:04:30.520 trying to fight

01:04:31.480 but like,

01:04:32.080 so I don't know

01:04:32.620 if he was like consciously

01:04:33.440 trying,

01:04:33.840 but I think the incentives

01:04:34.640 were in place

01:04:35.220 to make the fight go longer.

01:04:36.680 So he wasn't,

01:04:37.600 I don't think he wanted

01:04:38.420 a first round of knowledge.

01:04:38.860 Also the incentives

01:04:39.360 were in place

01:04:39.800 to where Jake wouldn't lose.

01:04:42.200 I'll say that too.

01:04:43.300 Is the,

01:04:43.560 did the contract,

01:04:45.020 did anyone actually know

01:04:46.600 that that contract.

01:04:47.140 No, I'm just going off

01:04:48.060 second hand knowledge

01:04:48.740 from other people saying shit.

01:04:50.460 I don't believe for a second

01:04:51.340 that that contract's real.

01:04:52.360 I mean,

01:04:52.600 if that,

01:04:52.960 if that contract is real

01:04:54.140 that he gets paid double

01:04:55.360 if it goes the distance

01:04:56.400 and he loses,

01:04:57.700 that's insane.

01:04:58.120 You just believe

01:04:58.140 whatever the Jews tell you.

01:04:59.420 Yeah, but I think,

01:05:00.280 I think it was,

01:05:00.860 I think it was Jake

01:05:01.880 who was letting it go on longer.

01:05:03.120 Jake could have ended

01:05:03.900 the fight earlier, man.

01:05:05.340 Jake wanted to.

01:05:07.320 He could have,

01:05:08.020 he could have knocked him out.

01:05:09.060 I think what we saw there

01:05:10.140 was an old man

01:05:10.920 who lasted 15 seconds

01:05:12.000 with a knee injury

01:05:12.760 and you saw a young dude

01:05:14.120 who's an okay boxer

01:05:15.340 and he has got a lot of power.

01:05:17.340 Exactly.

01:05:17.740 But he didn't,

01:05:18.200 he just didn't want

01:05:18.960 to knock out Tyson at the end.

01:05:20.060 Tyson gas in the first 15 seconds.

01:05:22.280 There's no conspiracy here.

01:05:23.460 I'm the conspiracy guy.

01:05:24.640 There's no conspiracy.

01:05:25.860 Dude, I'm telling you,

01:05:26.560 like there's,

01:05:27.360 Paul didn't want to knock him out.

01:05:28.180 Did you watch the other

01:05:28.700 Jake Paul fights?

01:05:29.500 All the other ones.

01:05:30.760 Except for when he fought

01:05:31.760 The ones where he starched people

01:05:32.620 like Ben Askren

01:05:33.840 No, no.

01:05:35.000 The one where he actually fought

01:05:36.280 the one actual

01:05:37.340 real fucking like boxer

01:05:39.080 and he got his ass whooped.

01:05:39.600 Tyson Fury,

01:05:40.260 I mean Tommy Fury.

01:05:41.680 Yeah, he didn't get his ass whooped.

01:05:42.980 It was like a close fight.

01:05:44.560 He lost a split decision.

01:05:46.300 It was whatever.

01:05:46.840 There is no,

01:05:47.620 there is no concrete evidence

01:05:48.880 support claims

01:05:49.500 of a contract clause

01:05:50.260 banning knockouts

01:05:50.940 or a predetermined outcome.

01:05:51.940 Thank you.

01:05:52.280 Also,

01:05:52.880 please look up

01:05:53.680 whatever you're like,

01:05:54.660 does the COVID vaccine

01:05:55.740 cure COVID?

01:05:57.260 See how that goes.

01:05:58.000 Just some random post

01:05:58.900 you saw on eggs.

01:05:59.760 Fuck you.

01:06:00.220 You guys saw,

01:06:01.440 you saw a circus show

01:06:03.100 of an old ass man

01:06:04.960 fighting a YouTuber

01:06:06.500 and we're like,

01:06:07.500 this was fixed.

01:06:08.800 It was retarded.

01:06:09.500 It was retarded.

01:06:10.640 It was completely retarded.

01:06:12.040 I don't know.

01:06:12.780 I don't want to tell you guys.

01:06:13.240 Except for the woman's fight

01:06:15.340 was really good.

01:06:16.640 The Indian fighting

01:06:18.260 the Brazilian dude

01:06:19.160 and the Indian dude

01:06:19.960 trying to fuck him.

01:06:20.620 That was all right.

01:06:21.180 That was really funny.

01:06:24.140 Sorry,

01:06:24.560 the Indian dude

01:06:25.060 tried to legitimately

01:06:26.020 fuck him.

01:06:26.900 That was...

01:06:27.740 All right.

01:06:28.100 If we're going to be

01:06:28.800 talking fighting,

01:06:29.460 let's actually talk about

01:06:30.180 the real fucking fight

01:06:31.180 because the next night

01:06:32.360 was an incredible UFC

01:06:34.300 heavyweight fucking bout.

01:06:36.240 What did you guys see

01:06:36.720 about that one?

01:06:37.340 I did not watch any of it.

01:06:38.520 I didn't see it.

01:06:40.260 John Jones, I mean...

01:06:41.620 Yeah, I don't know.

01:06:42.900 Was it incredible?

01:06:44.280 Yeah, I don't know.

01:06:44.880 I was just like...

01:06:45.920 It was domination.

01:06:47.700 Yeah, John Jones.

01:06:48.900 He dominated the greatest

01:06:49.880 heavyweight ever.

01:06:50.680 I mean, granted,

01:06:51.100 he hasn't fought

01:06:51.600 in a couple years,

01:06:52.220 but still,

01:06:52.920 neither did Jones.

01:06:54.040 The problem is that

01:06:54.800 if he doesn't fight

01:06:55.860 Tom Aspinall,

01:06:58.480 it's kind of...

01:06:59.820 I don't know

01:07:01.040 how I feel about that.

01:07:01.760 Like, it's...

01:07:03.760 I mean, like...

01:07:04.760 Because I was listening

01:07:05.740 to Mighty Mouse

01:07:06.240 talk about it.

01:07:06.720 He was like,

01:07:07.240 hey, there's an interim champion

01:07:08.440 because the champion

01:07:09.360 couldn't fight.

01:07:10.420 The money fight

01:07:10.940 is not Aspinall,

01:07:11.880 but I would love to see it.

01:07:13.060 I think Jones

01:07:13.860 is the greatest fighter

01:07:14.560 of all time.

01:07:15.400 Yeah.

01:07:16.160 Any sport ever.

01:07:17.000 He also definitely

01:07:18.440 ducked out

01:07:19.760 of fighting

01:07:20.460 fucking Ngannou

01:07:22.020 whenever Ngannou

01:07:22.860 was absolutely tearing

01:07:23.760 through the heavyweight division.

01:07:25.480 Yeah.

01:07:26.340 I mean,

01:07:26.840 he was out for three years.

01:07:28.820 During the three years,

01:07:29.580 Ngannou was an absolute murderer.

01:07:31.000 Do you think he was

01:07:31.740 ducking out

01:07:32.260 or was he doing cocaine

01:07:33.420 and running over pregnant women?

01:07:35.380 You say tomato,

01:07:36.000 I say tomato.

01:07:36.760 Ha ha ha ha.

01:07:37.540 And he was ducking out.

01:07:40.020 He's being smart.

01:07:40.800 Why would you...

01:07:41.660 Why would you take...

01:07:42.320 No, I'm not saying it's not...

01:07:43.420 I don't think he was being smart at all.

01:07:45.520 He lost like three

01:07:47.160 of his prime years

01:07:48.100 of his career.

01:07:49.380 Everybody John Jones

01:07:50.400 has fought

01:07:50.860 has either been

01:07:51.760 too early in their career

01:07:53.300 or on the downturn.

01:07:55.800 He doesn't...

01:07:56.380 He hasn't had

01:07:56.920 like a very dangerous fight.

01:07:57.540 People say the same thing

01:07:58.240 about Mayweather.

01:07:59.720 Yeah.

01:08:00.340 And it's a great career to have.

01:08:02.080 But John Jones

01:08:02.740 is super talented,

01:08:03.600 but great career to have.

01:08:04.980 You're making millions of dollars

01:08:06.040 and you're not losing.

01:08:07.100 Why would I...

01:08:07.620 You think John Jones

01:08:08.700 hasn't fought anyone

01:08:09.740 in their prime?

01:08:10.720 Nobody?

01:08:13.660 Alexander Gustafson.

01:08:15.440 And then...

01:08:16.080 And it was close

01:08:17.360 and actually Gustafson

01:08:18.240 probably won the first one.

01:08:19.260 And he beat him.

01:08:20.140 Then Gustafson fell off

01:08:21.500 and he came back

01:08:22.120 and he whipped his ass.

01:08:23.520 Everybody else

01:08:24.120 has been too early.

01:08:24.960 He's won every fight.

01:08:26.660 Gustafson won

01:08:27.620 the first fight.

01:08:29.100 You can't convince me otherwise.

01:08:30.700 Gustafson won that first fight.

01:08:31.900 The refs say otherwise.

01:08:33.460 It was a war.

01:08:34.620 It was a great fight.

01:08:35.340 John Jones is the greatest

01:08:36.280 fighter of all time.

01:08:37.400 So he knows

01:08:38.060 what he's talking about.

01:08:38.840 All right?

01:08:40.500 I've seen every single...

01:08:42.340 During those three years, man,

01:08:43.080 he was just winning them

01:08:43.860 against women.

01:08:44.500 The Dana White meme

01:08:45.560 with the...

01:08:46.100 I've seen every John Jones fight.

01:08:46.800 Dana White with John Jones

01:08:48.160 is the funniest shit

01:08:49.200 of all time.

01:08:49.700 John Jones is the greatest

01:08:50.580 fighter of all time.

01:08:52.420 Have you seen the one

01:08:53.360 where it's like...

01:08:54.140 There's a meme

01:08:54.720 and it's like...

01:08:55.460 It's like my son

01:08:56.700 just beat cancer.

01:08:58.360 I think he's one of the...

01:08:59.760 He has an amazing fight

01:09:01.420 and it's like Dana White

01:09:02.840 going like,

01:09:03.460 first off,

01:09:04.640 John Jones is the greatest

01:09:06.220 fighter of all time.

01:09:08.780 What, are you crazy?

01:09:10.100 John Jones could easily

01:09:11.080 beat cancer right now

01:09:12.380 like this.

01:09:13.240 It is crazy.

01:09:14.200 I mean, he changed

01:09:14.860 the new gloves

01:09:16.560 to the old gloves

01:09:17.340 just for John Jones.

01:09:18.180 You know that, right?

01:09:20.020 Like for this last event,

01:09:21.460 they got the new gloves

01:09:22.800 that were gold.

01:09:24.320 Well, everybody was hating

01:09:25.440 on the new gloves.

01:09:26.320 Everybody was hating them.

01:09:27.460 Right, but because

01:09:28.180 John Jones,

01:09:29.260 they gave you the gloves

01:09:30.780 to train with

01:09:31.460 prior to your fight.

01:09:32.880 He said,

01:09:33.260 oh, I don't like these gloves

01:09:34.180 and I don't know

01:09:34.940 what the fuck happened

01:09:35.560 but like they switched them

01:09:36.520 to the old gloves

01:09:37.160 right away

01:09:37.640 and then that was it.

01:09:38.580 They were like,

01:09:38.820 we're not using these anymore

01:09:39.760 because John Jones

01:09:40.320 doesn't like it

01:09:40.860 and that's it.

01:09:41.600 They're done.

01:09:42.300 I will say this.

01:09:43.520 Even though I think

01:09:44.180 he is the best fighter ever,

01:09:45.680 I think that the weight class

01:09:47.760 that he's fought in

01:09:48.680 has not had

01:09:49.800 the elite of the elite

01:09:51.480 in UFC history.

01:09:52.840 Like I think that

01:09:53.380 the middleweight

01:09:53.940 and welterweight

01:09:55.420 have had better fighters

01:09:56.840 in total.

01:09:58.040 because like think about

01:09:58.680 who are the best heavyweights ever?

01:10:01.240 Like there's not

01:10:01.820 there's not a lot

01:10:02.580 that wasn't Tito

01:10:03.380 and

01:10:04.500 he sucked.

01:10:05.380 Rampage Jackson sucked.

01:10:08.960 I mean,

01:10:09.600 I guess you get like

01:10:10.560 oh, fuck.

01:10:12.440 Captain Royce.

01:10:13.360 Who's the Eastern European?

01:10:14.080 Captain Royce was awesome.

01:10:15.440 Eastern European dude.

01:10:16.640 You talking about Fedor?

01:10:17.840 Yeah, Fedor.

01:10:19.040 Fedor,

01:10:19.680 did he fight heavy?

01:10:21.480 Yeah.

01:10:21.680 I thought he was light heavy

01:10:22.320 but maybe he was heavy.

01:10:23.320 He was heavy

01:10:23.880 and then also

01:10:25.120 oh,

01:10:27.620 there was the

01:10:28.300 I mean,

01:10:29.320 Nganu is fucking

01:10:30.520 a murderer

01:10:31.320 like I mean

01:10:32.060 but he went out

01:10:33.360 into a boxing career

01:10:34.200 like

01:10:34.500 yeah,

01:10:34.940 but he was a murderer

01:10:35.940 in the fucking UFC dude

01:10:37.260 for like two years.

01:10:38.940 It is not Fedorov

01:10:40.440 fuck you.

01:10:44.020 You should do it.

01:10:45.140 You should do an Nganu

01:10:46.260 versus Manny Pacquiao fight.

01:10:47.780 Why not?

01:10:48.160 Let's do it.

01:10:49.320 Cole brought up the fight

01:10:50.680 so it's not on me.

01:10:51.600 Let me ask you guys.

01:10:52.260 Let's move it from fucking sports

01:10:53.980 to politics.

01:10:54.960 Clint,

01:10:55.200 how have you been feeling?

01:10:56.180 I don't care.

01:10:57.200 Like I know that we're almost

01:10:59.140 in World War III.

01:11:00.160 I just don't care.

01:11:01.820 I don't really feel it at all

01:11:03.040 but I know that you're panicking

01:11:04.640 and you seem really tense

01:11:06.680 like when you came in

01:11:07.600 to the show today.

01:11:09.280 Niggas for Trump.

01:11:10.680 How are you feeling, Clint?

01:11:12.300 You're tense.

01:11:13.440 I don't think I was tense at all.

01:11:15.960 We're only on the edge

01:11:17.080 of nuclear holocaust.

01:11:19.240 No,

01:11:19.840 I feel at peace.

01:11:21.700 I've done what I can.

01:11:23.640 I've come to Germany.

01:11:25.440 We're all going to die, guys.

01:11:27.480 He's in the acceptance stage

01:11:29.220 of grief.

01:11:31.440 Like, no,

01:11:32.400 it's not even acceptance.

01:11:33.760 It's just that

01:11:34.180 I've done everything I can

01:11:35.560 and the world hasn't listened

01:11:37.800 and now we just have to hope

01:11:39.720 that Vladimir Putin

01:11:40.440 doesn't fucking launch nukes.

01:11:43.240 I think he would just launch nukes

01:11:45.280 at Ukraine.

01:11:46.620 Like, why are we going to...

01:11:47.340 Why are we associating...

01:11:48.760 That's the problem

01:11:49.680 is that once he launches

01:11:50.780 you don't know

01:11:51.720 where they're landing

01:11:52.380 so you have to then...

01:11:54.060 New York.

01:11:54.560 Let him land in New York.

01:11:55.540 Who cares?

01:11:56.800 Yeah.

01:11:57.560 Honestly,

01:11:58.140 nuclear bombs might not be

01:11:59.500 the worst thing.

01:12:00.600 Yeah, I went on your show.

01:12:01.680 Who knows?

01:12:02.000 I was talking about

01:12:02.720 how we get these people

01:12:03.560 to stop voting.

01:12:04.900 Hey,

01:12:05.220 nuclear bombs.

01:12:05.620 That's if nuclear bombs exist.

01:12:07.420 Yeah.

01:12:07.840 Are we sure?

01:12:08.680 If he nukes

01:12:09.280 the progressive city...

01:12:10.120 I'm pretty confident.

01:12:10.920 That'll be good for us.

01:12:11.640 I'm pretty sure

01:12:12.180 they don't exist.

01:12:12.480 That's got to get out of here.

01:12:14.020 Good stuff.

01:12:14.760 I was like...

01:12:16.600 I love this shit.

01:12:21.760 Where is he walking to?

01:12:24.220 I'm assuming...

01:12:24.640 He just signed

01:12:25.140 because it's supposed

01:12:25.860 to be like him...

01:12:27.020 Wait, does he cut off there?

01:12:28.260 Do they stop it there?

01:12:29.500 Or does he continue

01:12:30.260 going after that?

01:12:31.020 He walks into the woods.

01:12:31.680 So he signs the executive order

01:12:33.040 to give long-range weapons...

01:12:35.200 In the Amazon, right?

01:12:37.600 And walks into the jungle, yeah.

01:12:39.220 And that's the last time

01:12:40.000 we'll ever see him.

01:12:40.700 I fucking love it.

01:12:41.680 What a gangster-ass move.

01:12:43.540 It would be funny

01:12:44.720 if that was the case.

01:12:46.180 If he said

01:12:46.700 he actually did sign

01:12:47.760 the missiles, but...

01:12:49.020 Wait, wait.

01:12:49.820 It is.

01:12:50.580 Wait, Top,

01:12:51.140 I do like that you're going

01:12:52.140 like, we're going to call you

01:12:53.080 your bluff of nuclear war.

01:12:55.320 I don't think nukes exist.

01:12:57.120 Just like, do it then, bitch.

01:12:58.240 It's not that I don't think

01:12:59.340 they exist.

01:13:00.000 I think...

01:13:00.960 I'm pretty sure

01:13:01.580 that they don't.

01:13:03.080 But I wouldn't tempt them

01:13:04.320 to do it because

01:13:04.860 they would drop

01:13:05.740 a huge bomb on you.

01:13:06.880 But not a nuclear bomb.

01:13:07.980 There's no such thing.

01:13:09.720 Just a big bomb.

01:13:10.240 No, no.

01:13:10.560 It's just a really big bomb.

01:13:11.880 It's just not nuclear.

01:13:13.620 Exactly.

01:13:14.460 It was like...

01:13:15.780 Just a lot of TNT.

01:13:17.660 Alright, so nuclear like what?

01:13:19.520 Like where the Japanese people

01:13:21.160 are already living right now?

01:13:22.360 The shit that they've rebuilt

01:13:23.320 in Fukushima?

01:13:24.700 Like that kind of nuclear?

01:13:25.680 The easy explanation for that

01:13:27.460 is that the radiation

01:13:29.080 dissipates much faster.

01:13:30.600 The half-life is not as extreme

01:13:32.200 as they originally thought.

01:13:33.540 Or they just gaslight you

01:13:34.960 and said,

01:13:35.740 stay away from that area

01:13:36.700 forever.

01:13:38.120 And that way they can't

01:13:39.160 like see the evidence

01:13:40.020 or anything like that.

01:13:40.960 And they stay away

01:13:41.560 just generally speaking.

01:13:42.800 It's just a big bomb.

01:13:44.980 Chernobyl is bullshit, man.

01:13:45.660 I don't think it's just a big bomb

01:13:46.860 because you can actually

01:13:47.540 see the radiation signatures.

01:13:48.680 They're fine.

01:13:49.620 A big bomb is what I call

01:13:51.200 John Jones' right hand.

01:13:54.080 Shut up.

01:13:54.880 When Trump dropped

01:13:55.480 the mother of old bombs,

01:13:56.620 it looked like a nuclear

01:13:57.560 mushroom cloud

01:13:58.360 because it's just a big bomb.

01:13:59.480 That's what they look like.

01:14:00.540 Yeah.

01:14:01.200 Okay.

01:14:01.700 The sun is a light bulb.

01:14:02.980 Those aren't nuclear though.

01:14:04.340 So that's different.

01:14:05.360 But I'm saying

01:14:06.020 they could have tricked you.

01:14:07.360 They did trick you.

01:14:08.680 Those models, again,

01:14:09.720 those models with the

01:14:10.780 house that's blowing up

01:14:12.220 and shit

01:14:12.520 when they throw the nuclear bomb

01:14:13.940 next to it in the desert,

01:14:15.020 that's like faker than the shit

01:14:16.360 that they told you about the moon.

01:14:17.880 And you believe it?

01:14:18.080 They also have the ones

01:14:19.260 from in the fucking

01:14:20.340 where they did it

01:14:21.460 in the Pacific though.

01:14:22.440 They do have like

01:14:23.220 videos of those too.

01:14:24.240 Those are like huge.

01:14:25.440 Those are even bigger.

01:14:27.420 It's just a ton of dynamite, Cole.

01:14:29.060 You're an idiot.

01:14:29.740 It's just a lot of time.

01:14:31.100 It's a lot of D&D.

01:14:32.480 That's what it is.

01:14:34.320 Wait, wait.

01:14:34.880 Wait.

01:14:35.200 So dude,

01:14:35.740 so wait.

01:14:36.700 Nuclear bombs don't exist.

01:14:38.020 Does nuclear power exist though?

01:14:39.980 Nope.

01:14:40.440 Fake too.

01:14:42.220 You're a fucking retard

01:14:43.140 if you think otherwise,

01:14:44.060 by the way.

01:14:44.820 If nuclear power was real,

01:14:46.360 they'd probably be using it.

01:14:47.340 So maybe they should use it.

01:14:49.660 No, they don't.

01:14:50.700 No, they don't.

01:14:51.220 They're lying, dude.

01:14:51.880 I live like 50 miles

01:14:53.360 from a nuclear power plant.

01:14:54.840 Nope.

01:14:55.200 It's fake.

01:14:55.840 It's just fake.

01:14:56.540 They're not doing anything in there.

01:14:58.140 Yes, they are.

01:14:58.740 They still use it.

01:15:00.660 I think,

01:15:01.480 I don't,

01:15:02.120 but it doesn't work.

01:15:03.000 Listen,

01:15:03.220 if it works.

01:15:03.860 engineer in the core,

01:15:05.280 like in the reactor.

01:15:06.540 Why isn't it powering your town,

01:15:08.480 Cole?

01:15:09.000 If it works.

01:15:09.760 It does.

01:15:10.660 It does not.

01:15:11.760 Your town is powered up a coal,

01:15:13.200 you idiot.

01:15:14.100 Why do you pay an electric bill?

01:15:16.480 Because they still have to,

01:15:17.560 it still costs money

01:15:18.560 to make energy,

01:15:19.680 dumbass.

01:15:20.240 It's more likely

01:15:21.040 that there's free energy

01:15:22.040 than there is nuclear energy.

01:15:23.340 What are you talking about?

01:15:24.700 Oh, man.

01:15:25.800 That's some Tesla shit, though.

01:15:27.760 Tesla's files got stolen, man,

01:15:29.520 by Trump's uncle.

01:15:30.720 Nuclear power

01:15:32.260 and nuclear energy

01:15:33.100 is based on

01:15:33.980 Albert Einstein's theories.

01:15:36.560 And Albert Einstein

01:15:37.160 was a fraud and a retard.

01:15:38.780 His wife wrote his papers

01:15:39.980 and all his colleagues

01:15:41.280 didn't respect him

01:15:42.220 because he could barely read.

01:15:43.620 You guys know this, right?

01:15:45.020 I do.

01:15:45.560 Yeah, he was a retard.

01:15:46.340 Nukes aren't real, guys.

01:15:48.480 I don't think

01:15:48.880 they're fucking real, dude.

01:15:49.760 I think you're worried

01:15:50.480 about huge bombs.

01:15:51.560 But if they put these

01:15:52.380 huge bombs in New York

01:15:53.600 and California,

01:15:55.160 then I'm fucking fine.

01:15:56.500 Who cares?

01:15:57.460 Bomb Austin.

01:15:58.480 I don't care.

01:16:00.860 Just let me get out of Boston.

01:16:02.720 In all seriousness,

01:16:03.480 I wouldn't be the least bit surprised

01:16:04.600 if they aren't real.

01:16:05.580 And it is kind of like,

01:16:06.520 I don't know,

01:16:06.960 because it is a super scary thing.

01:16:08.860 It's super bad

01:16:09.840 that we don't ever do

01:16:10.760 except for we did it that one time.

01:16:12.620 So it does kind of feel.

01:16:13.280 Well, we did it two times, technically.

01:16:15.140 Yeah.

01:16:15.740 Well, twice.

01:16:16.240 Look at this.

01:16:17.120 Clint, you're taking a beating out here.

01:16:19.080 Yeah.

01:16:19.420 No, to me,

01:16:20.520 it's just like the bombs don't exist.

01:16:22.520 Yeah.

01:16:22.820 And then you go like,

01:16:23.540 what about nuclear power?

01:16:24.420 It's like,

01:16:24.580 doesn't exist either,

01:16:25.840 even though you can literally go to one.

01:16:28.040 You can go there.

01:16:29.760 You can go there.

01:16:30.940 A nuclear power plant

01:16:32.160 is just a power plant.

01:16:33.100 A coal power plant underneath.

01:16:34.300 But there's coal burning underneath it.

01:16:35.980 You don't know.

01:16:36.160 Dude, you can go right now to Florida

01:16:38.200 where Elon Musk is launching his rockets

01:16:40.220 off the firmament.

01:16:41.380 Launching his rockets?

01:16:43.420 Launching his government-paid rockets?

01:16:44.680 You're an idiot.

01:16:45.080 He's not launching any rockets.

01:16:46.420 You idiot.

01:16:47.500 He's shooting them up.

01:16:48.420 They're not going as high as we think.

01:16:49.840 And then they're hitting something,

01:16:50.860 blowing up and coming down.

01:16:52.180 And he's using our money to do it.

01:16:53.000 Wait, they're blowing up and coming down?

01:16:54.380 All in one piece?

01:16:56.460 Yeah.

01:16:56.760 You guys are fucking normies, dude.

01:17:02.880 Do you really think he's sending shit

01:17:04.540 to outer space?

01:17:05.540 He's quoted as saying,

01:17:07.220 you know that it's real

01:17:08.140 because it looks so fake

01:17:09.360 when he's showing like a camera

01:17:10.940 of a Tesla floating inside

01:17:12.800 one of his rockets in space.

01:17:14.360 But we haven't been

01:17:15.260 out of outer earth orbit

01:17:16.660 since I don't even fucking know.

01:17:18.620 I don't think we've ever done it.

01:17:20.480 Possibly not.

01:17:21.540 I think it's probably real.

01:17:23.700 You have to get through

01:17:24.240 the Van Allen belts, man.

01:17:25.840 How do you get through

01:17:26.480 the Van Allen belts?

01:17:27.580 You guys believe so many lies.

01:17:29.200 Look at this.

01:17:29.720 Six million lies.

01:17:32.240 What the fuck?

01:17:33.100 Oh my God.

01:17:34.960 What the fuck?

01:17:40.220 Is he dead?

01:17:41.520 What even happened?

01:17:42.160 No, but they go

01:17:42.700 and they baptize him right after.

01:17:44.760 I'm not even kidding.

01:17:45.920 By the way,

01:17:46.260 that water is way too clear for...

01:17:48.980 India?

01:17:50.620 Look at this.

01:17:51.200 Wait a second.

01:17:51.920 Pause it.

01:17:52.920 Pause it.

01:17:53.680 Even if he jumped

01:17:54.600 all the way over there,

01:17:55.800 it's still not even waist deep.

01:17:58.280 No, it's still not deep enough.

01:17:59.920 Yeah, but if you belly flop,

01:18:01.760 you could actually be okay

01:18:02.940 in waist deep.

01:18:04.100 He does it in like

01:18:05.620 foot deep water,

01:18:06.840 which is just the fuck.

01:18:07.760 This guy has no legs left.

01:18:09.500 He's like the guy

01:18:10.220 who got his leg chopped up.

01:18:11.060 Show it again.

01:18:11.660 I want to see him fucking.

01:18:12.560 Look at him like a flying squirrel.

01:18:14.120 Legs are fucked.

01:18:15.280 I just want to see where this goes.

01:18:17.640 Oh!

01:18:18.980 You can hear the sand.

01:18:20.840 Do you hear the sand

01:18:21.640 when he hits it?

01:18:22.280 Yeah.

01:18:23.540 He's out like a light.

01:18:25.740 Yeah.

01:18:26.560 Look at this.

01:18:27.080 This is what I imagined

01:18:27.840 when I was in Jamaica.

01:18:28.820 I was like,

01:18:29.120 if I get hurt here,

01:18:30.020 this is how they're going

01:18:30.700 to bring me to the hospital.

01:18:32.120 Bro, I went fucking

01:18:33.440 high diving in Jamaica.

01:18:35.080 It was fucking cool.

01:18:37.040 Oh, they did the baptize.

01:18:38.640 Okay.

01:18:39.400 I jumped off shit

01:18:40.980 probably higher than that

01:18:42.520 in Jamaica

01:18:43.060 and there was dudes

01:18:44.040 like these Jamaican dudes

01:18:45.300 for 10 bucks

01:18:46.360 or whatever.

01:18:46.720 They'd go and do

01:18:47.360 like 18 flips in a row.

01:18:49.220 It was awesome.

01:18:49.980 Wait, you paid them

01:18:50.760 to do tricks?

01:18:51.880 I didn't pay them

01:18:52.500 but I'm sure.

01:18:53.060 No, no.

01:18:53.360 People,

01:18:53.600 that's what you could do

01:18:55.100 is you could pay these guys

01:18:56.080 to just basically do trickies.

01:18:57.600 This dude literally

01:18:58.400 just smokes weed

01:18:59.320 and hangs out

01:19:00.040 by fucking high places

01:19:01.280 and does flips for money.

01:19:03.000 That actually seems

01:19:04.000 like a fucking cool job.

01:19:05.660 It's just like,

01:19:06.320 I should have just like.

01:19:07.560 Someone was like,

01:19:08.340 your mom at one point

01:19:09.260 was like,

01:19:09.540 you need to fucking get

01:19:10.320 the books

01:19:11.020 and fucking study.

01:19:12.120 You can't just do,

01:19:13.140 you can't just jump off shit

01:19:14.260 for money.

01:19:16.140 I did.

01:19:16.600 I jumped off the second highest.

01:19:18.580 There was one that went up

01:19:19.400 another 10 feet

01:19:20.040 which was insane

01:19:20.780 and like none of the gringos

01:19:22.120 did it

01:19:22.440 but these fucking Jamaicans

01:19:24.320 were doing it.

01:19:26.020 There has to be something

01:19:26.560 wrong with their brain.

01:19:28.740 Yeah.

01:19:29.200 Like legitimately,

01:19:29.940 there has to be something

01:19:30.600 like, I mean.

01:19:31.740 I mean,

01:19:31.940 it's extremely high

01:19:32.880 time preference behavior

01:19:33.920 literally jumping off things.

01:19:35.200 They have low IQ.

01:19:35.720 Oh no,

01:19:36.120 I thought we discussed this.

01:19:37.000 It's like the highest

01:19:37.020 of time preference behaviors.

01:19:38.000 Is jumping off high shit

01:19:39.980 probably the highest

01:19:41.240 time preference behavior

01:19:42.220 you can do?

01:19:42.620 It literally is.

01:19:43.420 It's the most

01:19:44.100 niggerish thing you can do.

01:19:45.800 Like literally,

01:19:46.300 you get like

01:19:46.920 two seconds worth of fun

01:19:49.320 to basically maybe

01:19:51.420 in your life.

01:19:52.440 Literally for that cheap thrill

01:19:53.820 you get when you're like,

01:19:55.080 my life's in danger.

01:19:56.160 Like literally,

01:19:56.620 it's all in it.

01:19:57.200 Yeah,

01:19:57.380 you get two seconds

01:19:58.260 of the thrill

01:19:58.880 followed by death.

01:20:00.900 And it's different

01:20:01.420 because they don't,

01:20:02.120 I feel like they don't skydive.

01:20:04.160 Because skydiving.

01:20:05.080 Share my screen.

01:20:05.800 Share my screen.

01:20:06.680 Because skydiving is like,

01:20:09.060 you know,

01:20:09.420 I don't know,

01:20:09.720 how long do you probably,

01:20:10.660 when you skydive,

01:20:11.320 how long are you in the air?

01:20:11.960 This is where I dove.

01:20:12.480 Oh,

01:20:12.680 Rick's Cafe,

01:20:13.320 yeah.

01:20:13.880 In Negro,

01:20:15.200 Jamaica.

01:20:15.660 It's literally risking

01:20:16.840 your life for a quick

01:20:18.120 doping.

01:20:18.760 Oh,

01:20:18.900 I see,

01:20:19.220 I see it right there.

01:20:20.280 That platform right there.

01:20:20.800 It's the most high time

01:20:21.520 preferencing you probably

01:20:23.020 could imagine.

01:20:23.900 Hold on,

01:20:24.440 and then some dudes

01:20:25.260 would go,

01:20:26.160 so I think I went from

01:20:27.520 here or here,

01:20:29.200 I don't remember which,

01:20:30.040 and then some of these dudes

01:20:31.420 would like go up.

01:20:31.900 They would get up on top

01:20:32.800 of the fucking building?

01:20:34.400 On the shack.

01:20:36.180 Yeah,

01:20:36.400 it was insane.

01:20:36.960 Wait,

01:20:37.100 wait,

01:20:37.240 wait,

01:20:37.440 so how long do you,

01:20:38.920 like when you skydive,

01:20:39.600 how long are you probably

01:20:40.320 in the air for?

01:20:42.440 Probably like a couple minutes?

01:20:45.520 A couple like 30 seconds

01:20:46.560 to a minute?

01:20:47.180 Let's say like a minute

01:20:47.920 or so.

01:20:48.900 And like,

01:20:49.640 and black people,

01:20:50.340 they don't skydive.

01:20:51.420 They will only jump off

01:20:52.860 of like the stuff.

01:20:53.600 It's like,

01:20:53.760 they won't even like,

01:20:54.480 the time preference

01:20:55.280 is so high,

01:20:56.180 they're like,

01:20:56.920 we literally won't do

01:20:57.600 like the 30 second jump.

01:20:59.120 We'll do the two second jump.

01:21:00.220 Do you think that's why,

01:21:01.120 do you think that's why

01:21:01.980 Africa hasn't like created

01:21:03.380 any cities and shit?

01:21:04.960 They're doing this.

01:21:05.720 Yes,

01:21:06.060 all these nudes.

01:21:06.540 Because they're just like,

01:21:08.380 no,

01:21:08.680 you would think,

01:21:09.260 no,

01:21:09.460 no,

01:21:09.740 hear me out,

01:21:11.400 hear me out.

01:21:11.760 This is like,

01:21:12.260 this is like a very racist argument.

01:21:13.960 You'll enjoy it.

01:21:15.460 So like,

01:21:16.160 black people don't,

01:21:17.200 they don't take the risks.

01:21:18.640 They don't take the risks

01:21:19.680 of skydiving.

01:21:20.720 Like they live

01:21:21.500 extraordinarily dangerous

01:21:22.800 lifestyles.

01:21:23.340 They have guns

01:21:24.020 and they rob people

01:21:24.720 and you know,

01:21:25.660 they sell drugs

01:21:26.320 and they go to jail

01:21:26.880 and shit like that.

01:21:27.460 But like,

01:21:28.240 when it comes to risk

01:21:30.640 for whatever reason,

01:21:32.400 like they don't risk

01:21:33.960 building tall buildings

01:21:35.200 and they don't risk

01:21:35.980 jumping out of planes.

01:21:37.780 Maybe they're black people.

01:21:38.600 Are black people

01:21:39.020 just scared of heights?

01:21:40.440 No,

01:21:40.600 no.

01:21:40.980 Here's what it is.

01:21:41.900 Here's what it is.

01:21:42.520 They want to jump,

01:21:43.580 they want to jump off of shit,

01:21:45.220 but they want to jump off

01:21:46.160 of shit that is like

01:21:47.280 one to two stories high.

01:21:48.780 And that's why

01:21:49.540 everything in like Africa

01:21:50.740 was only one to two stories high.

01:21:52.460 That's as far as they,

01:21:53.440 that's as high

01:21:54.180 as they want to jump off of.

01:21:55.160 Well,

01:21:55.340 because they,

01:21:55.740 they can only build.

01:21:56.440 They were just like,

01:21:57.480 why would we build higher than that?

01:21:58.780 No,

01:21:58.840 it's because,

01:21:59.220 it's because they can only build

01:22:00.240 as high as they can jump.

01:22:01.500 Yeah,

01:22:01.720 yeah.

01:22:02.560 Because niggas keep

01:22:03.220 jumping off shit.

01:22:05.260 Yeah,

01:22:05.640 but like they,

01:22:06.140 they were like,

01:22:06.640 we don't want to like,

01:22:07.540 like 30 feet.

01:22:08.960 We won't like,

01:22:10.280 here,

01:22:10.520 I'll show,

01:22:10.800 I'll show you the video.

01:22:11.820 I'll show you the video

01:22:12.600 of why they can't build

01:22:13.760 a three story building.

01:22:14.940 Go ahead and run that video again.

01:22:16.600 Imagine a fledgling black society

01:22:18.760 is just a bunch of black people

01:22:19.760 running around jumping off shit.

01:22:21.260 They build the thing

01:22:22.400 and they have to get down from it.

01:22:22.760 See,

01:22:22.840 this is two stories.

01:22:23.920 This is the maximum height

01:22:24.920 That is literally two stories high.

01:22:27.100 And that was like,

01:22:27.660 that's the highest you can go.

01:22:28.980 that's their building inspector

01:22:30.400 and it's like,

01:22:31.300 if he jumps off of it and dies,

01:22:32.680 they're like,

01:22:32.980 it's too high.

01:22:33.560 It's dangerous.

01:22:34.080 It's too high.

01:22:34.700 You can't have this.

01:22:36.160 There's like,

01:22:36.960 there's like one,

01:22:37.780 there's like one,

01:22:38.440 there's like one three,

01:22:38.780 there's like one three story building

01:22:40.720 in all of Africa

01:22:41.760 and they were like,

01:22:42.860 never do that again.

01:22:44.120 Can you,

01:22:44.660 can you imagine how brain damage

01:22:46.380 that guy is

01:22:46.900 if that's what he does every day?

01:22:50.140 This is just unsafe

01:22:51.240 to have around here.

01:22:51.960 You never know

01:22:52.360 when someone's going to

01:22:52.860 just jump off this shit.

01:22:54.100 He's like,

01:22:54.340 this is,

01:22:54.900 this is,

01:22:55.920 he's like,

01:22:56.280 I cannot survive this.

01:22:57.500 This is too tall.

01:22:58.440 You must tear it down.

01:22:59.580 What's a few,

01:23:00.340 like fewer IQ points?

01:23:01.340 People are going to see

01:23:01.880 this three story building.

01:23:03.120 No impulse control.

01:23:04.320 They die.

01:23:04.700 I like how,

01:23:06.560 I like how crafty the Arabs are

01:23:08.160 because they make their buildings

01:23:09.220 just high enough

01:23:09.940 to kill gay people.

01:23:11.340 Like they know,

01:23:12.220 they know the right one.

01:23:13.420 They built the tallest building

01:23:14.800 in the world.

01:23:15.680 The Tower of Babel?

01:23:16.760 The Burj Khalifa.

01:23:17.940 The Burj Khalifa.

01:23:18.520 That's what he's talking about.

01:23:20.400 Is it?

01:23:21.300 I don't know.

01:23:21.700 Yeah,

01:23:21.860 it's the tallest building

01:23:22.760 in the world.

01:23:23.460 The one in Dubai.

01:23:24.780 I don't know if anything is top.

01:23:25.920 Yeah,

01:23:26.000 they ball out over there.

01:23:27.840 Dude,

01:23:28.240 it is actually stupid

01:23:29.840 how rich they are over there.

01:23:31.220 Oh shit,

01:23:31.560 yeah,

01:23:31.680 look at that thing.

01:23:31.980 It's because of them

01:23:32.500 they finally just like

01:23:33.420 basically admitted like,

01:23:34.400 yeah,

01:23:34.540 we manipulate weather

01:23:35.600 because these motherfuckers

01:23:36.540 are just like,

01:23:37.260 we're making it rain over here

01:23:38.460 like literally just for shits

01:23:39.680 just because we want to have plants

01:23:41.220 where plants are supposed to be.

01:23:43.060 Dubai is all as rain.

01:23:44.180 Hold on,

01:23:44.520 hold on,

01:23:44.880 hold on.

01:23:45.420 They built an island.

01:23:47.460 Like they were like,

01:23:48.380 they were like,

01:23:48.840 hey,

01:23:49.160 like we want more,

01:23:50.080 like Dubai.

01:23:51.400 They built an island of islands.

01:23:53.860 Yeah,

01:23:54.080 yeah,

01:23:54.240 yeah,

01:23:54.360 yeah.

01:23:54.520 They were like,

01:23:55.280 they were like,

01:23:56.360 hey,

01:23:56.540 Dubai doesn't have enough room.

01:23:58.000 So instead,

01:23:59.000 we're going to go

01:24:00.820 and take sand,

01:24:02.300 but not the sand in the desert

01:24:04.120 that is all around us.

01:24:05.140 Yo,

01:24:05.380 that's a real picture?

01:24:07.300 No.

01:24:08.360 I love how like anytime Tom sees something

01:24:10.680 that's like just,

01:24:11.480 just too incredible to believe,

01:24:13.040 he's just like fake.

01:24:14.500 Doesn't that look fake?

01:24:16.300 It looks like,

01:24:17.360 it looks like,

01:24:17.980 it's real though.

01:24:19.020 You wrote in AI,

01:24:20.000 AI make 15 buildings

01:24:21.860 stuck together real tall.

01:24:23.240 And it's like,

01:24:23.600 okay,

01:24:23.920 what does that look like?

01:24:24.380 You can go there,

01:24:25.200 nigga.

01:24:25.340 It's fucking real.

01:24:26.620 That's amazing.

01:24:27.560 Dude,

01:24:27.920 what's so like,

01:24:29.700 look at that fake city.

01:24:30.760 That fake city should be,

01:24:31.780 that should be bombed.

01:24:33.220 That shouldn't exist.

01:24:34.420 It shouldn't exist.

01:24:35.380 Actually,

01:24:35.620 no,

01:24:35.780 you're actually right

01:24:36.320 because it's in a fucking desert.

01:24:38.700 It's in a desert.

01:24:39.980 Like,

01:24:40.220 and they were just like,

01:24:40.940 fuck it.

01:24:41.300 We're going to build it here.

01:24:42.100 And they were like,

01:24:43.200 fuck you,

01:24:44.660 God.

01:24:45.260 And then they were,

01:24:45.920 they were literally like,

01:24:46.800 they were like,

01:24:47.160 we need more land.

01:24:48.780 We need more land.

01:24:49.800 So we're going to build islands out of sand.

01:24:52.260 And they were like,

01:24:53.040 but not the sand from the desert.

01:24:54.400 No,

01:24:54.840 we're going to go get sand from the bottom of the fucking ocean and use that sand instead.

01:25:00.860 And they did.

01:25:02.060 And they built multiple fucking islands in the shape of palm trees.

01:25:05.860 Yep.

01:25:06.100 They're fucking crazy.

01:25:06.940 You can look at it.

01:25:07.240 You know that,

01:25:07.620 you know,

01:25:07.820 they did that to Boston,

01:25:08.880 right?

01:25:09.180 Back Bay in Boston was literally a bay and they filled it in with land.

01:25:14.520 And just,

01:25:14.740 we don't have any,

01:25:15.480 we don't have any white people that are that rich.

01:25:17.380 Like white people,

01:25:17.980 when they get super rich,

01:25:18.880 they do more,

01:25:19.800 uh,

01:25:20.920 tangible things.

01:25:22.180 Yeah.

01:25:22.400 That's what I'm saying.

01:25:23.180 They want to take risks.

01:25:24.580 Yeah.

01:25:24.780 I like it.

01:25:25.120 White people like to take risks.

01:25:25.880 I don't understand it,

01:25:26.740 but like,

01:25:27.820 it's weird because white people,

01:25:29.440 like we,

01:25:29.800 we pay our bills.

01:25:31.540 So like,

01:25:32.180 we don't take that risk.

01:25:33.220 Can't stop looking at this thing.

01:25:34.780 Look at this fucking thing.

01:25:35.980 Also,

01:25:36.260 also,

01:25:36.620 by the way,

01:25:36.980 they're also the same ones that want to do the,

01:25:38.880 uh,

01:25:39.280 the line.

01:25:39.960 The one that's like that,

01:25:41.260 uh,

01:25:41.880 trillion dollar,

01:25:43.160 a hundred mile,

01:25:44.200 uh,

01:25:46.260 another desert city.

01:25:47.900 Cities along like a thin,

01:25:49.440 like a thin line.

01:25:52.160 And they actually are building it right now.

01:25:54.560 It's taking up like 30% of the world's steel.

01:25:57.200 There's a room at the top of this possible,

01:25:59.440 uh,

01:25:59.760 ghost protocol.

01:26:00.700 Tom Cruise.

01:26:01.140 Who lives off the top of this building?

01:26:03.280 Who lives at the top of this?

01:26:04.940 And what is their mentality?

01:26:06.560 That's who he is.

01:26:07.140 Black dude.

01:26:08.120 I know there was different sand properties.

01:26:09.940 It's just funny that they're living in a desert and they,

01:26:12.120 they didn't want to use,

01:26:12.820 they couldn't use that sand.

01:26:14.140 It's just really funny to me.

01:26:15.300 It's Israeli probably.

01:26:17.500 No,

01:26:17.780 they're not allowed there.

01:26:18.600 They don't allow Jews here.

01:26:20.860 Oh,

01:26:21.080 that's true.

01:26:21.600 Wow.

01:26:21.740 This place sounds awesome.

01:26:23.320 That's why it looks like this probably dude.

01:26:25.200 But this is literally the future without,

01:26:27.700 when you get Jews out.

01:26:28.580 But the UAE is.

01:26:30.880 But Dubai is a lot of like Americans and shit there though.

01:26:34.660 No,

01:26:34.880 but they have strict rules.

01:26:35.800 Like there's no,

01:26:36.520 uh,

01:26:37.040 what's the word?

01:26:37.780 Gay sex.

01:26:38.720 No gay sex.

01:26:39.740 You like,

01:26:40.080 you can't like even hold hands with a woman.

01:26:42.380 If she's not married to you or something like that,

01:26:43.720 she's got to walk behind you.

01:26:44.940 I don't think there's alcohol.

01:26:45.700 I think it's a dry city.

01:26:47.080 No usury in this city as well.

01:26:49.360 This city is like,

01:26:50.440 dude,

01:26:50.820 it's so funny.

01:26:51.720 The Muslims built the richest city in the world without like,

01:26:55.620 I can't stop looking at it,

01:26:57.020 dude.

01:26:57.220 Look at this shit.

01:26:57.800 They built the richest city in the world.

01:26:59.960 No usury.

01:27:01.380 That's what it means.

01:27:01.920 It doesn't fucking matter.

01:27:03.560 It's not real.

01:27:04.340 Own this bitch.

01:27:05.640 I talk to miles a lot.

01:27:07.060 Like,

01:27:07.440 cause I work with him and he's,

01:27:09.240 always in Afghanistan.

01:27:10.120 He's telling me about the fucking Afghanistan government.

01:27:12.200 And they're like,

01:27:12.880 they're building something cool over there.

01:27:14.820 And I'm just like,

01:27:15.300 do they,

01:27:15.620 do they not have usury in Afghanistan either?

01:27:17.360 No,

01:27:17.920 no usury.

01:27:18.580 They allow Jews,

01:27:19.660 but if they,

01:27:20.400 if they come in and they do that shit,

01:27:21.760 like they'll,

01:27:22.360 they'll kill you.

01:27:26.980 Can you imagine him?

01:27:28.720 Can you imagine him as the,

01:27:30.640 the,

01:27:30.980 you know,

01:27:31.220 height inspector seeing the Burj Khalifa and he's just like,

01:27:35.040 he's like,

01:27:35.440 Oh no,

01:27:35.980 you,

01:27:36.260 you must tear down immediately.

01:27:38.020 I cannot.

01:27:38.380 I'm just going to eyeball this one.

01:27:43.440 I can tell you by looking at it,

01:27:44.480 my experience is a little too high.

01:27:46.440 You have to cut like a thousand floors off this thing.

01:27:49.440 Imagine being his son.

01:27:50.740 He was like,

01:27:51.100 I will give you the family business.

01:27:53.120 And he's just like,

01:27:53.880 the son's like,

01:27:54.640 no,

01:27:54.800 he's just like,

01:27:55.180 he goes with the Burj Khalifa,

01:27:55.840 just tosses his son off.

01:27:58.600 Tom Cruise was the height inspector for it.

01:28:00.680 I told him.

01:28:01.860 Hell yeah.

01:28:02.720 Yeah.

01:28:03.540 All right.

01:28:03.760 Tom Cruise.

01:28:04.500 You guys ready to go to the penthouse?

01:28:05.980 You guys ready?

01:28:06.740 Yeah.

01:28:07.080 Wait,

01:28:07.380 can we,

01:28:07.780 are we supposed to go to the penthouse on a flopper like that?

01:28:10.360 Why did you do that to us,

01:28:11.500 Toad?

01:28:12.300 He was thinking mission impossible.

01:28:14.220 I understand what he's saying.

01:28:15.300 It's a good movie.

01:28:16.180 It's a good scene.

01:28:17.200 By the way,

01:28:17.800 Nadeau razors.

01:28:18.960 Oh yeah.

01:28:19.380 Hell yeah.

01:28:19.900 Dude.

01:28:20.260 N-A-D-E-A-U,

01:28:21.540 shavecoat.com,

01:28:22.520 promo code tower gang or tower or gang.

01:28:24.780 I'm not sure which 15% off the best single blade,

01:28:28.720 stainless steel razor in the game,

01:28:30.440 veteran owned,

01:28:30.920 family operated,

01:28:31.660 American made.

01:28:32.320 If you want to fucking look like a tranny,

01:28:33.980 but have the most fantastic facial hair.

01:28:36.940 Listen,

01:28:37.480 so I,

01:28:38.160 I actually,

01:28:39.400 I,

01:28:39.600 I tried to shave my nuts the other day.

01:28:42.680 I didn't try to,

01:28:43.840 I did shave my nuts the other day.

01:28:44.980 That seems,

01:28:45.500 that seems powerless.

01:28:47.600 I love to do a great product.

01:28:49.760 Would not shave my nuts.

01:28:50.720 Hold on.

01:28:51.380 No,

01:28:51.640 no,

01:28:51.700 no,

01:28:51.900 hold on.

01:28:52.160 Let me get to,

01:28:52.720 let me get to what I'm saying.

01:28:53.600 Let me get,

01:28:54.040 shut the fuck up.

01:28:55.260 Let me get what I'm saying.

01:28:56.420 I shaved it with my regular,

01:28:57.800 like five blade razor,

01:28:59.120 like the regular one I use.

01:29:00.420 And then I saw my Nadeau razor sitting up on there and I actually felt bad.

01:29:04.680 I actually was like,

01:29:05.300 I'm sponsored by these guys.

01:29:06.560 I'd probably use this.

01:29:07.220 I took it.

01:29:08.080 I did one swipe and I said,

01:29:09.620 not anymore.

01:29:10.060 I'm not doing that shit.

01:29:10.960 I was like,

01:29:11.660 I was like,

01:29:12.100 this is too big.

01:29:12.700 Go home and think about it.

01:29:14.100 You coward.

01:29:16.140 Oh,

01:29:16.520 by the way,

01:29:16.920 guys,

01:29:17.300 I had,

01:29:17.760 I had,

01:29:18.280 shut up,

01:29:19.720 shut up.

01:29:20.500 I had Sam Tripoli on the show.

01:29:22.060 Uh,

01:29:22.500 just on Monday.

01:29:23.420 So if you go over to no way,

01:29:24.840 Jose,

01:29:25.300 he's on there,

01:29:26.380 uh,

01:29:26.780 doing pretty good numbers.

01:29:27.880 If it gets to 10,000,

01:29:28.960 if it gets to 10,000 views,

01:29:30.420 uh,

01:29:30.660 Cole and I will watch it.

01:29:31.640 So,

01:29:31.880 um,

01:29:32.880 I'll say like the,

01:29:33.780 the problem with the Nadeau razor with your balls is the,

01:29:36.220 the blade where it's positioned at on the,

01:29:39.540 on like the handle isn't conducive for shaving your nuts.

01:29:44.400 That's,

01:29:44.760 I think that's the biggest problem.

01:29:46.300 Yeah.

01:29:46.500 It's that curve.

01:29:47.500 You can't like,

01:29:49.060 it's not perfect.

01:29:50.220 It's like,

01:29:50.560 you need just that,

01:29:51.560 just the razors just sticking.

01:29:53.320 Just,

01:29:53.480 you know,

01:29:53.720 like you guys think we should get more sponsors.

01:29:55.480 Should we,

01:29:55.900 should we actually get like more sponsors?

01:29:57.800 No.

01:30:00.880 Don.

01:30:01.780 Let's fucking go.

01:30:03.620 Mentos.

01:30:04.020 Where are they at?

01:30:05.000 No,

01:30:05.220 I'm serious.

01:30:05.660 We,

01:30:05.840 we could pull in a couple more sponsors if you guys wanted.

01:30:08.580 And,

01:30:09.040 uh,

01:30:09.220 I think we should.

01:30:10.100 It'd be fun.

01:30:10.740 I think this whole show should be sponsors.

01:30:12.300 Just talk about talking about sponsors.

01:30:13.680 Just run ridiculous ad reads.

01:30:16.140 I'm,

01:30:16.560 I'm opposed to that.

01:30:17.900 I'm a fan of money.

01:30:18.840 So,

01:30:19.060 I don't know.

01:30:19.340 It depends.

01:30:20.220 I'm a fan of money,

01:30:20.920 even though I haven't seen a cent of it.

01:30:22.780 Yeah.

01:30:23.060 I like the theoretical concept of it.

01:30:25.660 I mean,

01:30:25.940 I'm down to do it just so Lainey can make more fucking videos,

01:30:28.920 but,

01:30:29.140 yeah,

01:30:29.300 it's cool.

01:30:30.160 Other than that,

01:30:30.980 like,

01:30:31.260 no,

01:30:31.420 I don't want to do more.

01:30:32.360 Should we move to Dubai so that we don't have to pay like any usury on anything that we do?

01:30:38.140 That's not how it works.

01:30:39.920 You can't,

01:30:40.720 you can't engage in usury.

01:30:42.540 You could just not borrow money.

01:30:44.140 Yeah.

01:30:44.960 That's impossible.

01:30:46.420 Yeah,

01:30:46.620 but then this other motherfuckers are borrowing money and it makes it harder for me to not borrow money.

01:30:50.940 So,

01:30:51.080 yeah.

01:30:52.080 Does it,

01:30:52.440 does it just make it so like they're just really stingy with their money over there?

01:30:56.160 Do they just not like give away money at all?

01:30:58.280 They don't have ever get to rely on the idea.

01:31:01.020 You just taking out money.

01:31:02.840 No,

01:31:03.320 basically it just means that the people that have the money are extraordinarily powerful because they end up partnering as opposed to lending the money.

01:31:12.260 They partner on all of these developments and they become co-owners.

01:31:16.440 So it's still,

01:31:17.300 it's still taking a percentage.

01:31:18.920 It's just a fucking workaround.

01:31:20.280 See,

01:31:20.520 look,

01:31:20.740 it's dumb shit.

01:31:21.840 This guy's going to start a food bucket company.

01:31:23.460 This is how you do it.

01:31:24.160 You got to tell people that you're for sale.

01:31:26.240 This is why I do all those hand signals.

01:31:27.660 Is this like,

01:31:28.220 is the food bucket company like one of those like,

01:31:30.060 uh,

01:31:30.420 end of days,

01:31:31.060 like apocalypse buckets.

01:31:32.680 Is that what he's talking about?

01:31:33.780 As long as,

01:31:34.060 as long as the only thing that you sell in these buckets are brains.

01:31:38.300 And that's like,

01:31:39.040 that's what you're doing.

01:31:39.860 I'm,

01:31:40.100 I'm in.

01:31:41.020 King of built on.

01:31:42.360 I mean,

01:31:42.660 guys,

01:31:42.960 this is,

01:31:43.420 this could be fun stuff.

01:31:44.600 I don't know.

01:31:45.800 I'll be honest.

01:31:46.560 You need to find something.

01:31:48.080 I'm not literally just going to shill buckets.

01:31:50.640 You need to give something here.

01:31:52.000 Some,

01:31:52.320 I'll show buckets.

01:31:53.320 I don't know what the fuck you're talking about.

01:31:54.380 I'll show some buckets.

01:31:55.240 If the buckets have brains in them,

01:31:56.860 his name is dude.

01:31:57.460 I'll fucking dude.

01:31:59.240 I was just watching,

01:32:00.140 uh,

01:32:00.600 me and me and top enjoy,

01:32:01.900 uh,

01:32:02.620 meat canyons content content,

01:32:04.780 uh,

01:32:05.200 pop of meat,

01:32:05.800 uh,

01:32:06.040 check them out.

01:32:06.540 And he,

01:32:06.960 he actually did a review of all the,

01:32:09.280 uh,

01:32:09.740 like doomsday meal buckets.

01:32:12.080 Like he did like a review of all of them.

01:32:13.820 Dude,

01:32:13.960 it'd be awesome.

01:32:14.480 They all suck.

01:32:15.340 Do you know what'd be amazing though?

01:32:16.460 If someone,

01:32:16.760 if someone muck banged through an entire bucket,

01:32:20.220 like that'd be awesome.

01:32:20.920 Like it's a year's worth of food and they just fucking muck bang it.

01:32:23.800 I'd love to see Cole like literally doing a commercial selling a literal bucket.

01:32:28.140 That would be great.

01:32:29.000 Like if we just like,

01:32:29.640 I'll sell a bucket to add.

01:32:30.640 Yeah.

01:32:30.960 Just the bucket.

01:32:31.660 You couldn't sell me a bucket motherfucker.

01:32:34.140 Sell me this bucket.

01:32:34.820 Use it as a,

01:32:35.400 as a hat.

01:32:36.640 Um,

01:32:37.380 uh,

01:32:37.620 before we go to the penthouse,

01:32:38.720 I want to ask you guys,

01:32:39.580 has anyone watched gangs of London?

01:32:41.620 No,

01:32:42.180 no,

01:32:42.560 no fucking we're going to do in the penthouse,

01:32:43.940 but we're going to run an ad first and then we'll see you guys later.

01:32:46.200 Here we go.

01:32:47.380 Peace out guys.

01:32:49.660 Peace out guys.

01:33:20.660 It's the Tower Power Hour slut.

01:33:23.140 It's the Tower Power Hour bitch.

01:33:24.820 No way,

01:33:25.360 Jose.

01:33:26.280 Liberty Lockdown.

01:33:27.480 It's the Tower Power Hour bitch.

01:33:29.960 Reed.

01:33:32.480 Cole.

01:33:34.180 Top Lobster.

01:33:35.500 And Toad.

01:33:36.860 Tower Gang,

01:33:37.460 Tower Gang,

01:33:37.960 Tower Gang,

01:33:38.460 Tower Gang.

01:33:39.360 Tower Gang,

01:33:40.020 Tower Gang,

01:33:40.500 Tower Gang,

01:33:41.000 Tower Gang.

01:33:41.120 Liberty Lock is truth say.

01:33:42.860 Same with Lobster,

01:33:44.020 Cole and Jose.

01:33:45.340 Toad is sick.

01:33:46.300 No way,

01:33:46.840 Jose.

01:33:47.380 It's the Tower Power Hour slut.

01:33:48.940 They made Gates with all his

01:33:50.660 Tower Gang,

01:33:51.020 Tower Gang,

01:33:51.520 Tower Gang,

01:33:52.000 Tower Gang,

01:33:52.440 Tower Gang.

01:33:53.000 Tower Gang,

01:33:53.560 Tower Gang,

01:33:54.080 Tower Gang,

01:33:54.620 Tower Gang.

01:33:55.800 They made Gates with all his things.

01:33:58.020 Tower Gang,

01:33:58.520 Tower Gang,

01:33:58.880 Tower Gang,

01:33:59.540 Tower Gang,

01:34:00.080 Tower Gang.

01:34:00.940 Tower Gang,

01:34:01.560 Tower Gang,

01:34:02.040 Tower Gang,

01:34:02.580 Tower Gang,

01:34:03.800 Tower Gang,

01:34:04.100 Tower Gang.

01:34:05.040 It's so fucking difficile to line up with syllables.

01:34:12.620 I mean,

01:34:13.160 I mean,

01:34:13.860 I mean,

01:34:14.620 That's all, folks.

Tower Gang - November 21, 2024

Ep 204 - Chasing the R＊tarded Dragon

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