Ep 206 - The Porn of Destiny
Episode Stats
Length
1 hour and 33 minutes
Words per Minute
203.93246
Hate Speech Sentences
179
Summary
Tower Gang Live is back and better than ever. This week, the boys are joined by special guest Toad the Plumber to discuss a variety of topics. They discuss flatheads, racist clothing, and why black people don t use tractors.
Transcript
00:01:05.240
and this is motherfucking Tower Gang Live, bitch.
00:01:22.180
This is the bitch that you said had flat titties
00:01:28.560
They were nice enough to send their audience here.
00:01:46.080
You are really stringing together a lot of things.
00:01:52.300
because you're rocking all of the latest Tower Gang merch
00:02:20.720
or is that what the cotton picking machine is called?
00:02:27.440
Do you think if we show a cotton gin to black people,
00:02:30.780
they inherently get angry that their jobs are taken away?
00:02:50.720
I'm just saying we've established what makes the black people's heads flat.
00:02:53.580
At least I have, and I've told you guys it's just from neglect.
00:03:02.060
Do Indians have flatheads because they get ran over tractors as infants?
00:03:20.780
I mean, it's like Trump getting back in the White House and Destiny blows a guy.
00:03:24.440
Yeah, that's what everybody was talking about all week.
00:03:27.460
I'm like, I've got to see what the hype is all about.
00:03:29.220
If you have any sexual music and you can play it in the backdrop,
00:03:31.720
I'd really like to have Toad describe it in graphic detail.
00:03:39.640
So, and was there, was it just, okay, I want you to explain it from the beginning,
00:03:46.580
I don't want fucking just straight to the top shot.
00:03:49.940
I want to know why the plumber's there to help out.
00:03:53.580
Is Destiny the plumber, or is he the desperate housewife?
00:03:59.800
And as you explain it, I'll just, I'm going to.
00:04:11.160
I love it how there's a little magnifying glass right on his ween.
00:04:23.080
What's weird is he kind of has, like, these kind of weird, like, cum gutters.
00:04:29.220
Oh, like it would perfectly drip down his hair?
00:04:33.040
He kind of, yeah, it's like there is a V-shaped.
00:04:57.980
Do you think, like, morbidly obese fat people that are homosexual should be called cum gutters
00:05:11.940
Stretch marks, man, because I was, like, over 200 pounds, and I lost, like, 45 pounds.
00:05:16.740
I still don't understand why you don't get laid with that body.
00:05:28.260
Yeah, I actually have more love handles than Toad does, and it just seems like it doesn't...
00:05:34.220
Yeah, I do, and it's just weird because his is, like, his...
00:05:39.120
Yeah, his hip bones are perfectly in line all the way up.
00:05:50.740
Like, arms, legs, torso, like, zero musculature whatsoever.
00:05:55.300
Yeah, I'm fat, and there's nothing to hold onto.
00:05:56.900
Toad, before you become a huge faggot and tell us about Destiny's dick, I'm going to
00:06:03.300
I'm going to tell you the huge favor that I did for you today.
00:06:09.580
How many times did you watch it, you fucking guy?
00:06:17.500
But only because I had to, like, I had to get the feel for it.
00:06:20.460
Like, you know how you think you might miss something the first time?
00:06:23.900
I didn't want you just to watch it just to watch it.
00:06:26.080
I wanted you to study this and then be the expert.
00:06:29.340
I want the people to be like, hey, did you see Destiny sucked a dick?
00:06:33.960
Yeah, here's Toad, the expert on Destiny dick-sucking.
00:06:48.340
They'll, like, see a blade of grass from, like, a picture from, like, an e-girl, and they'll find out where they live?
00:06:53.280
I want that, but Toad with Destiny dick-sucking.
00:06:57.220
He has, like, a mega thread with, like, a detailed research.
00:07:00.280
You're like, this is how we know for sure this is Destiny's dick.
00:07:03.720
Like, I do want to know whose dick he was sucking.
00:07:06.060
Did you do the forensic analysis, Captain Dick analysis?
00:07:09.180
As much as I could with that small amount of material.
00:07:23.760
So after you explain it, I want you to tell us who you think is getting their dick sucked.
00:07:43.380
To me, sucking dick is foreplay, but go ahead, Top.
00:07:53.340
In my Google Drive now of, like, all this stuff.
00:07:55.660
It's like, better off dead clips, you from there.
00:08:01.960
There's a document with just, you know, YouTube links to some of my favorite moments on your show.
00:08:24.240
It was definitely Carl, who's been on this show.
00:08:28.200
And then some lady, and then some other guy, producer Chris.
00:08:33.360
It's like stepping into, like, older talk radio where they have, like, the, you know...
00:08:37.900
Yeah, it's like the, like, toilet humor morning show type of thing.
00:08:47.740
He said it was Nick Fuentes, but also he's just...
00:08:51.440
Well, he said it in, like, a teasing way, like, implying...
00:08:55.080
He said he just went by N, and his last name was Hispanic or something like that.
00:08:59.740
He had, like, it was the minion stuff all over.
00:09:01.440
Like, if you're going to suck a dick, I think he's handling it the right way.
00:09:07.780
He was teasing him just like he teased Nick Fuentes' dick.
00:09:10.700
I like that Topp keeps an entire database, like a federal agent, on Toad's whereabouts and shenanigans.
00:09:17.340
He's the only person that I'm keeping tabs on at this point, and it's like, because he fascinates me.
00:09:22.480
So I went on the show, and I actually think I made a...
00:09:25.000
I tried to develop it like how Tyler would do, the Jew, as like a lawyer.
00:09:37.620
You don't want me to take the stand in my own defense.
00:09:48.440
I would convict you no matter what you're charged with.
00:09:57.400
You're saying I would talk to the New York Times and...
00:10:08.920
What you got to understand is that you come off extremely off-putting to most people
00:10:23.160
I'm like, yes, your voice, everything about you is really bad.
00:10:26.340
Yeah, I mean, it's mainly your voice and how you look.
00:10:28.000
People's reaction in real life isn't like that.
00:10:29.800
People that can have sensory experience in the world.
00:10:35.120
Like, every other sense, like his touch, to touch him, I bet that's not good.
00:10:42.720
He just smells like a man who's never exercised one day.
00:10:55.180
Toad Drive Access needs to be a top Patreon tier perk.
00:11:01.260
If you join the Patreon, fuck it, we're doing a little plug.
00:11:14.820
Or it's like you can have tiers of the Patreon and tiers of the Google Drive.
00:11:21.040
Dude, Cole, I had to see the dick pic again today because I was compiling all this stuff.
00:11:31.740
As much as I want more money, Toad, as your counsel, I'm going to advise against you allowing
00:11:37.380
our top tier Patreon members to have pictures of your dick.
00:11:43.980
This is, it's basically OnlyFans is what we're doing for Toad here.
00:11:49.580
It's like the most arranged OnlyFans account ever.
00:11:58.300
It's like, it's an OnlyFans account that I would pay not to have access to.
00:12:08.180
It's like, it's the OnlyFans where you don't look up the leaks.
00:12:16.480
So, Toad, you come off very off-putting to most people.
00:12:20.540
And I expertly walked these people who, what they do for a living is look at bad podcasts.
00:12:26.280
But I walk them through the enigma that's Toad.
00:12:28.640
So, we start off with, I showed him your Halloween pictures, that whole file there.
00:12:36.880
Yeah, you've got to see you in person to really understand.
00:12:40.660
But after this episode was done, he was like, I spoke to Toad.
00:12:47.700
They were like, oh, this guy likes to dress up for Halloween.
00:12:53.440
And we watched the beginning, like, maybe 15 seconds of every episode.
00:13:17.260
I think I went kind of crazy on at least one of them recently.
00:13:21.840
I'd like to see it because I don't believe you.
00:13:40.320
So after I showed them that, I showed them your LP shit.
00:13:55.700
And then they actually liked your other one, The Baby Got Back.
00:13:59.260
They said it's actually, it might be better than the original.
00:14:18.960
By the way, those Uke videos are doing pretty good numbers on YouTube, surprisingly.
00:14:36.580
That's not the actual show on the YouTube channel.
00:14:41.020
Because I don't know how it wouldn't go crazy viral.
00:14:49.280
I like how Top is committed to turning Toad into an internet phenomenon.
00:14:55.560
But Top's just like, I'm going to make this happen.
00:14:57.800
Toad has refused over and over and over again to become internet famous.
00:15:12.260
Toad, by the end of this, the comment section, they fucking hated your shit with Better Off Dead.
00:15:22.180
Then you got to the shorts, and they were like, oh, this guy is psychotic.
00:15:25.660
The short of you, you didn't have internet this day.
00:15:29.380
And so you did a short where you're like, didn't have internet.
00:15:33.120
And you see the chat turning from like, this nigga's boring to, hold on a second.
00:15:38.260
I played them the songs, and they were like, that was really good.
00:15:41.140
And I felt like they were Toad stans by the end of this.
00:15:45.720
That's the thing that makes Toad such a mystery is that in modern internet glory, you have to catch people quick, right?
00:16:02.420
On second, third glance, probably still hate him.
00:16:08.720
Seventh, tenth, you're like, I fucking love this guy, and I can't get enough of him.
00:16:12.380
But can we get people to watch him and hate him nine times before they find that love?
00:16:22.340
I'd say by episode five, so I had already gone through that and then gone back down to hate him again.
00:16:29.020
I mean, when you get over hundreds, there's lots of peaks and valleys.
00:16:35.240
I have just spiraled around him over and over again.
00:16:37.660
I have no idea how I feel about him at this point.
00:16:42.980
Who are those podcast guys that love you, dude?
00:16:47.420
I think you might be one of the people that they continue to check up on, which is incredible.
00:16:54.480
Did they do an analysis of what he should do better?
00:17:04.320
But now, do you think he should take their advice?
00:17:07.480
Or do you think he should just keep plowing through the way he was going to do?
00:17:18.100
He legitimately might be the most stubborn man on the planet.
00:17:25.680
I had to file chapter seven after watching one episode of Better Off Dead.
00:17:31.760
So, this is going to be kind of, I guess, inside baseball for our fans because it's about
00:17:43.820
So, Florida State is probably the worst team in college football this year, which, I mean,
00:17:49.880
I don't know if you can keep up with college football at all.
00:17:53.560
Florida State came in, was like top ten ranked.
00:17:56.340
They are, they ended the season two and like ten.
00:18:07.660
Toad all season has been telling us, no, they're good.
00:18:13.140
Even up until like, he was like, they're going to beat in the last game.
00:18:15.740
They're going to beat Florida and all this stuff.
00:18:16.600
You rode the bandwagon through a two and ten season?
00:18:20.640
And every week I would say, Toad, like they lost again.
00:18:28.900
And I said, I said, Toad, I said, Toad, just say you're wrong.
00:18:35.840
Well, if you understand the praxeology of betting, they were due for a come up.
00:18:46.400
You were still on their bandwagon the entire year, but you refused to like have any type of like.
00:18:52.620
No, I said they're not as bad as people think they are.
00:19:05.000
I think the only thing sadder than being Toad is being a gambler who's so addicted that they take advice from him.
00:19:21.640
Your audience is not for people that are gambling.
00:19:27.160
It's like you being a monkey behind glass and people tap on it every so often.
00:19:39.020
Tell us what sucking dick for Destiny looks like.
00:19:58.420
Well, so the video is not really what it was cracked up to be.
00:20:03.700
So you were disappointed is what you're saying.
00:20:19.180
So the angle is from the point of view of the guys being sucked.
00:20:23.680
Is it like one of those ones where someone just took a quick cell phone video?
00:20:28.420
I think the dude who was being sucked had his cell phone out.
00:20:32.540
It's a little bit on the darker side as you just saw with that screenshot there.
00:20:47.820
Fuentes said he was wearing a bracelet and he doesn't wear bracelets.
00:21:04.300
I think the sucky may have had shorts that were pulled down.
00:21:07.220
Can you imagine if Fuentes just puts on a bracelet every time he gets his dick sucked?
00:21:23.680
Did he pull his dick out of the underside of his shorts?
00:21:49.860
The problem was that I got the sense that the sucky here was not enjoying it.
00:22:00.540
So maybe Destiny's skills aren't all that great because the dick was never really hard throughout the entire thing.
00:22:15.700
It's normal during a blowjob not to get hard, right?
00:22:30.360
So it was kind of, you know, the dick was kind of flopping in and out of his mouth a little bit.
00:22:46.920
The story is that Nick Fuentes got his dick sucked.
00:22:50.320
So we know that Destiny was the one sucking dick and nobody's shocked by that at all.
00:22:55.080
The question is, who was the person being sucked?
00:22:57.420
And Nick Fuentes, if we can play some of this video here, I thought the video of him was hilarious.
00:23:03.500
Nick Fuentes, he went way on the defensive, man.
00:23:07.100
If you watch that video, I watched the video myself.
00:23:12.360
I pulled out my phone where I took that video and I watched it again.
00:23:18.800
I've been feuding with Destiny for my entire career.
00:23:21.720
And Destiny had all these leaks come out from Discord.
00:23:35.620
You can't pause Nick Fuentes and have him not look like a homosexual.
00:23:47.740
Wait, go to when he has his finger up like this.
00:23:50.000
And I'll tell you concrete evidence that he's gay.
00:24:13.960
It's like a man who holds a martini glass but keeps the pinky up.
00:24:20.280
And it's probably very moist every time you shake it.
00:24:23.960
You've shook their hand and they gross you out.
00:24:33.660
Toad does have a dead fish handshake, by the way.
00:24:36.960
You go to shake his hand and you literally just like...
00:24:46.100
I feel like when I shake another dude's hand, my hand is getting crushed, basically.
00:24:53.380
By the way, if you were going to as any of y'all...
00:24:59.340
If any of y'all see the Destiny or hear about the Destiny leak or watch it and then go, he's a freak.
00:25:10.640
A 24-year-old virgin would probably think that if there's some dude who's like married and then divorced and then he's sucking dick, that he's a disgusting freak.
00:25:26.440
He leaked private messages of him talking about like sitting on stream with a butt plug and doing a whole bunch of weird shit.
00:25:32.700
Nick talks about butt plugs in this video and then he denies that it's him in the video.
00:25:36.880
I've got a theory about this and I got a question.
00:25:39.860
Is I think Nick Fuentes with his like stardom, his level of fame, he's running around with Kanye West.
00:25:47.300
I think that him being a virgin still is possibly gayer than him getting his dick sucked because it's like at least you're sexually active.
00:25:56.740
I've made this argument a hundred times with Toad.
00:25:58.560
I would rather him just be plowing dudes left and right than continue to be a virgin.
00:26:02.940
Honestly, Toad, if you want to get to internet stardom...
00:26:09.140
Also, if you want to get internet stardom and be like better, less gay, go fuck Destiny.
00:26:38.120
I want to know more about him sucking this dude's dick.
00:26:43.640
And by the way, I don't think that Nick Fuentes is the person in this video.
00:26:48.560
I haven't watched the video, but I have watched Nick's defense and his defense, even though
00:26:52.100
it is kind of, I don't know, not exactly ironclad saying, I don't wear bracelets.
00:26:57.480
It's like, maybe when you're getting your dick sucked by another fucking streamer, you do.
00:27:03.300
If there was a rumor about me that I, it was me that got my dick sucked by Destiny.
00:27:09.280
And then I also had the same defense as Nick Fuentes had.
00:27:20.760
And I'm just like, I think dudes want to suck your dick all over the place.
00:27:23.520
I think Nick Fuentes has, like, gay dude, definitely gay dude, like, energy.
00:27:29.060
I'm just going to easily identify you by your dick.
00:27:33.040
I mean, like, not your dick specifically, but I guess, like, your dick and, like, your stomach
00:27:37.800
and leg and, like, all the stuff I'm seeing around me.
00:27:40.480
As long as there's a razor and his key shaving cream, then I'll be like, I know exactly
00:27:46.480
I do think that it is Fuentes in the video because.
00:28:24.760
I'm almost positive the dude in the video is not black.
00:28:27.600
I think he is, he's either white or light-skinned Hispanic.
00:28:33.560
What's more cancelable, black face or black dick?
00:28:39.660
If you pull out your, if you, if you pull out a dick and it looks like Kanye's dick, but
00:28:43.920
like you're a white dude and you just pull out a dick and it's like, and you have the,
00:28:50.980
If I just had a huge black dick and I'm like this white guy.
00:28:55.140
Laney, you are in the, you know, like if, if some pirate got like severe hypothermia or
00:29:00.420
something, his dick like became completely like black and shrill.
00:29:16.600
I did want to ask Laney, you're, you're in the entire gate.
00:29:28.500
Can you tell just, do you have a gaydar for Nick Fuentes?
00:29:36.880
What's the, what's the, what's the skinny on this, uh, the skinny faggot?
00:29:54.920
He gives me gay vibes, but I just don't think he's blowing destiny in this video.
00:30:01.760
Which technically he could be like, he, he could be like, it's, I, I'm not gay.
00:30:08.480
Those are the hands of a man who's never even considered working.
00:30:15.760
Those are hands, the ones of a man who's like considered working.
00:30:18.720
Like, you've looked at him and thought like, I should really do something at some point.
00:30:23.300
Clint's hands is the hands that he was like, he was coming out of high school and he goes
00:30:33.060
I worked one summer of hard labor and I was like, not with these precious.
00:30:37.740
You forgot your gloves at the gym at least once.
00:30:45.360
Like, as we, as we look at him more, I've never really looked at him that much, but
00:30:49.100
like, mad people watch him and like, idolize him and do it.
00:31:04.420
I like, want to like him, but I just struggle to respect a guy who's that famous and never
00:31:08.680
even had a girlfriend or even like, and then the hands.
00:31:18.000
Like, I look at Nick Fuentes and I see me in a lot of ways.
00:31:22.820
Top, did Jimmy Nohans have more structure to his hands than Nick Fuentes does?
00:31:29.440
Like, it looks like he could flop them around pretty good, right?
00:31:44.140
I think he is one of the most naturally gifted, compelling speakers of young people that I've
00:31:51.380
Like, when you just hear him talk, and he's just riffing.
00:32:06.580
That drop hits harder now that you've been fired from that show.
00:32:14.020
So, Toad, besides, so do you have, I know we're talking about Nick.
00:32:18.460
Is there anybody else that you could think of that you kind of have as a, it's them?
00:32:26.280
If it's not him, then it's probably somebody who's not well-known, I would guess.
00:32:34.620
I mean, you've never had your dick sex, but like, was it bad?
00:32:42.580
I don't know why we made you watch it over and over again.
00:32:49.000
Like, is that where we're at, when the recording begins?
00:33:06.280
So, I think, I don't know, on a scale, like, how good or bad is the blowjob on a scale from...
00:33:30.260
So, it's closer to Liz than Scrumdiddlyumptious.
00:33:34.920
You would think Destiny would be good at sucking dick.
00:33:36.760
I mean, Destiny sucks dick better than Liz, which is pretty impressive.
00:33:41.580
How many times a sucking dick would take for you guys to get good at it?
00:33:44.160
But here's the thing, maybe you can give him a pass, because maybe it's the sucky's fault,
00:33:54.280
I mean, if you're sucking a limp dick and it doesn't get hard, you suck it sucking dick.
00:33:57.540
It's like, oh, no, I've never been sucked off by a dude not in a cap-boy outfit before.
00:34:06.920
The clean-up, he would have been, like, you know, like, licking his stomach, you know, like, licking the tip.
00:34:39.100
Dude, I tell you, I don't know how many people I've met in my life, like, oh, can you ever come?
00:34:42.480
And then, like, I was that guy at one point when I was fucking a kid.
00:34:45.200
And then you get sucked off, but just right once, you're like, oh, my God, I was retarded.
00:35:02.060
I always thought so, but the way you're describing this, I mean, especially with Destiny, because
00:35:07.480
You'd think he'd be sucking dick like a champion.
00:35:15.600
You know, the suck-y could have been partially a fault here for not getting hard.
00:35:21.580
To blame the man that doesn't get hard from a bad blowjob is...
00:35:45.380
Next to people, what would your grift be if you were Jewish?
00:36:05.180
Would you choose, like, war, gambling, pornography?
00:36:10.480
I'd run a sexual blackmail operation, for sure.
00:36:17.660
Sexual blackmail, yeah, that's an interesting one, yeah.
00:36:24.260
Jeffrey Epstein, yeah, I guess it would be Epstein.
00:36:26.400
Well, he was blackmailing a bunch of politicians, man.
00:36:29.480
I'd like the job of the guy that puts the subliminal messages in kids' movies.
00:36:47.880
I feel like our mailbag music is louder than it used to be.
00:37:21.380
Can we just take a minute to appreciate how stunning Ariel was?
00:37:27.780
Him or Louis C.K. had the joke of, basically, like,
00:37:30.220
you try drawing Ariel for six months and not put a dick somewhere.
00:37:37.280
In The Rescuers, there's, like, a scene where they're going to the slide,
00:37:40.300
like, the mice or whatever the fuck they are in that movie,
00:37:42.940
and there's, like, a split second where if you pause it just right,
00:37:48.160
and I'm not being animated, like, a literal naked woman,
00:38:07.240
I think Toad's been, like, dying to talk about this,
00:38:13.600
so you guys can guess what in the last episode is what got us nuked.
00:38:28.280
I was excited for this bit until someone said the breastfeeding thing.
00:38:32.620
Also, I do want to defend us, though, because...
00:38:36.820
Well, go ahead, because you can say what it is, and then...
00:38:39.860
If it's breastfeeding, I'm writing an email back,
00:38:45.200
Breastfeeding is allowed on, like, Facebook and stuff,
00:38:49.360
And YouTube, in the email, said that it was hate speech.
00:38:54.400
I mean, my guess is that it's going to be me saying something,
00:38:58.960
because I'm the one that says the least hate speech,
00:39:01.560
Wait, so Toad, confirm it's not the titties, then?
00:39:36.780
Literally, the second word in the intro was nigger.
00:39:45.140
It was something that happened during the show.
00:40:53.260
Do you think that Hitler called his ovens Charizards?
00:41:09.920
I think that Hitler called his ovens Charizards?
00:43:21.820
That's basically what you've just done to them.
00:56:15.760
Cole, do you think it's possible to hit someone into a different race?
00:56:21.100
If you're getting slapped like that, I think so.
00:56:23.340
Dude, if that was true, I'd be punching so many black people.
00:56:25.980
Like a dog can give you that, he'll give the family that weird intangible.
00:56:36.000
That's what Toad has given me, and I'm grateful for it.
00:56:44.840
Through here, like thousands of miles away, you're awesome.
00:56:55.980
I honestly find it more depraved to pipe-rape somebody than to dick-rape them.
00:57:13.300
I think it's more depraved to rape the turkey, because we're going to eat it after.
00:57:16.580
If you just pipe-rape a Palestinian person and kill them, it's like, whatever.
00:57:35.600
Vultures in India must be confused as hell, because everything smells like death.
00:58:17.040
Sorry he inspired me to fucking put this shit out
00:58:32.920
It's not printed on so it's not like with a printer
00:58:44.360
They're really bright and then they sew them together
00:59:03.800
I like how conspiracy extremists just bought a roadcaster
00:59:24.580
But did you see on that one where he's getting shot with a revolver
01:05:11.560
Like you just want to get a little stroke in here
01:07:42.460
I get to come over and treat her like a roommate
01:07:55.320
It's like I love when my roommate takes care of my child
01:08:18.100
He would have probably given you this fucking hat
01:08:24.840
This is the only merch I've ever worn around my family
01:08:40.880
Adam is one of the most endearing people I've ever heard
01:08:58.360
Someone's brought up whether you should come on the show before
01:09:08.900
He's not a horrible enough person to be on the show
01:09:12.060
But I was surprised how many people don't know who he is from January 6th
01:09:24.820
I remember where I was at when I heard about January 6th
01:09:51.740
I was at work just watching it blow up on Twitter
01:10:05.720
If you're really upset about the events of today
01:10:12.240
But you guys saw that dude got fucking offed in New York
01:10:23.140
Fuck people that protest against the government
01:10:46.020
We just showed multiple murders just before this
01:10:49.840
I'd rather watch the one of the guy getting the cock ring cut off of him
01:11:00.100
Yeah this is the dude who got shot this morning in New York
01:11:09.580
The biggest healthcare thing in the United States
01:11:39.500
There was a dude who was like tracking the city bikes
01:33:32.940
It's so fucking hard to line up the syllables in all of it.