Tower Gang - #NEVERFORGET： Ep 120 - Carnies of the Caribbean

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00:00:12.340 Hashtag make a play.

00:00:18.340 What's up, retards? 1.00

00:00:20.220 I'm trying to start a call here, baby. 1.00

00:00:21.960 So I can only fit a third of my dick into Toad's mussy. 1.00

00:00:27.140 You want to kill me or you want to give me a boner? 1.00

00:00:29.740 I don't know. 1.00

00:00:30.880 When I say fuck the Jews, it means I'm horny. 1.00

00:00:34.020 How low is me, I'm retarded. 1.00

00:00:36.420 Any of you guys ever had the mythical where they put the whole thing in and then do that shit where they're like, 0.99

00:00:39.960 The three of you had a threesome of some kind. 1.00

00:00:44.720 I was watching it and jerking off. 1.00

00:00:48.520 Fucking asshole. 1.00

00:00:50.820 Toad's on fire! 1.00

00:00:51.720 He was a 10 in real life.

00:00:53.600 She's like a dead 8.

00:00:57.160 Louis, you're like a brother to me.

00:00:58.480 Donald Trump, come on, Tower Gang.

00:01:00.460 That is fine.

00:01:00.940 Tower Gang is the most offensive podcast. 1.00

00:01:03.540 Fat Dave, fuck you, man. 1.00

00:01:10.500 It's not what this show is about. 1.00

00:01:12.360 This shit is retarded. 1.00

00:01:16.940 Everybody, welcome to another episode of Tower Gang. 1.00

00:01:19.720 Every time I watch our intro, it cheers me up. 0.83

00:01:23.020 I can have a terrible day, and I watch the intro, and I'm like, this is fucking awesome.

00:01:27.300 Are you going to watch it after the Lakers lose tonight? 1.00

00:01:30.080 Shut your mouth. 1.00

00:01:31.960 I'm no longer going to commit suicide, and then if the Bruins lose, I will again. 1.00

00:01:36.180 Oh, please don't do that.

00:01:38.400 Don't do that.

00:01:39.340 No, don't do that.

00:01:41.820 Welcome to Tower Gang. 0.99

00:01:43.080 We are the number one most bigoted podcast that is hosted exclusively by homosexuals. 1.00

00:01:48.780 Thank you for tuning in. 0.78

00:01:50.220 As always, we have Toad at Tower Gang Toad.

00:01:52.960 We've got Cole at Fat Comic Dave, and we've got Clint Russell at Liberty Lock Pod. 0.92

00:01:57.960 We will be joined later by the most racist Puerto Rican you have ever met. 1.00

00:02:02.380 Yes, Luis J. Gomez, not you. 0.95

00:02:05.340 No, no, I thought it was going to be Luis.

00:02:07.140 And also, the shortest man in the universe, Jose Galisson.

00:02:13.040 Jose is actually here.

00:02:14.260 You just can't see him.

00:02:15.300 When Jose dies, do you think that they'll even have to bury him, or will he just kind of like...

00:02:21.540 Well, it's funny because how much cheaper is his coffin going to be?

00:02:26.420 He's going to be like, listen, we have a 50% off deal.

00:02:28.960 We can put him in a kid's coffin.

00:02:30.100 Yeah, well, could you...

00:02:32.240 Yo, does that actually happen?

00:02:33.820 Imagine, like, a midget dies, and they're just like, we have, like, kids' coffin. 1.00

00:02:37.380 Yeah, you could put him in a kid's coffin, for sure.

00:02:39.420 No, Jose needs some sort of, like, animal coffin, though, because he's, like, 5'5", but he's 2'10", or whatever.

00:02:45.160 Yeah, it might be, like, a really wide... 0.98

00:02:46.180 You just could have put him in a fucking Amazon box. 0.98

00:02:49.380 A shipping crate. 0.99

00:02:50.780 Bro, imagine you work in the factory that produces, like, kids' coffins, and having to tell somebody, like,

00:02:58.400 no, no, no, I'm in woodworking.

00:03:00.820 That's it.

00:03:01.780 Like, I'm in...

00:03:02.540 It's like...

00:03:04.040 Oh, that's dark. 1.00

00:03:04.500 You and I masturbate to dead children. 1.00

00:03:07.640 Wait, what? 1.00

00:03:10.220 You said woodworking.

00:03:12.940 Oh, my God.

00:03:14.680 Literally, Toad can take anything and make it into a terrible joke.

00:03:17.820 I'm definitely not going to nod during that so that I get dragged for it a year and a half later.

00:03:22.040 It's my superhero ability.

00:03:25.220 Yeah, more, like, super villain.

00:03:27.060 Jesus, that's...

00:03:28.040 My God. 1.00

00:03:30.420 Also, Clint just debated a literal faggot last week. 1.00

00:03:33.580 It was amazing, like, watching a blue-haired and, like, just... 0.99

00:03:36.800 I had years of experience after debating you guys.

00:03:41.980 The physiology...

00:03:42.980 I'm going to...

00:03:43.820 Physiogamy.

00:03:44.660 I think we discussed this.

00:03:45.920 I said it right last week.

00:03:47.520 Is...

00:03:48.040 Alone is insane. 1.00

00:03:49.300 Like, just that picture of you, like, fucking... 1.00

00:03:52.580 You were, like... 1.00

00:03:53.300 Oh, yeah.

00:03:53.900 You were, like...

00:03:54.760 And then he was just sitting there.

00:03:56.400 Like, I mean, like, it looks...

00:03:57.840 He looks small and weak.

00:04:01.540 Don't look at that.

00:04:02.520 Show the picture.

00:04:03.680 I want to bring up the picture.

00:04:04.900 Physiognomy.

00:04:05.780 Physiognomy.

00:04:06.280 Not that. 0.99

00:04:07.000 The picture of fucking Clint and Destiny. 0.98

00:04:10.180 It's on my Twitter if you want to pull it up. 0.99

00:04:12.260 Yeah, the picture of them, like, actually debating.

00:04:14.260 I said it was just massively alpha from Clint's perspective.

00:04:18.000 I still think what I said was the best was this is, like, whatever your mom says. 1.00

00:04:23.320 Once you're on vacation and your mom's, like, take a picture with your stepdad after you just saw his dick in the shower. 1.00

00:04:28.740 And that's exactly what it looks like. 0.99

00:04:30.980 Because he's sort of, like, Clint is literally, like, a stepdad just, like, on vacation.

00:04:37.180 I'm only three years older than the guy, but everyone's calling me his stepdad.

00:04:40.820 I'm, like, Jesus Christ.

00:04:42.880 Or, no, I'm five years older. 0.79

00:04:44.060 Oh, it's just because he's that immature.

00:04:46.900 But you also, you had, like, this protruding bulge in that one picture.

00:04:52.060 And your arms are looking good. 0.99

00:04:53.560 I have a dick and I have arms, dude. 1.00

00:04:55.640 What are you doing? 1.00

00:04:56.280 Honestly, if I was about to debate somebody, I would definitely get a pump beforehand.

00:05:00.820 Like, go to the gym right beforehand and get a massive pump.

00:05:03.460 Dude, that was no pump.

00:05:04.140 So you walk in there, veins popping.

00:05:05.700 That was no pump.

00:05:06.080 Like, no, I would not be, like, studying.

00:05:09.500 I would not be, like, preparing.

00:05:10.460 Yeah, no, of course you wouldn't.

00:05:11.440 I'm going to be a huge pump.

00:05:12.080 Well, because you're not going to study it because you don't know how to read.

00:05:16.240 Will Dickie is on top of it there.

00:05:18.780 Yeah, thank you, Dickie.

00:05:20.020 Yeah, that's, I mean, that alone, I feel like I won.

00:05:22.800 I won the day.

00:05:23.660 Oh, that is, oh, and the, yeah, your shoes that I've seen.

00:05:26.940 Oh, yeah.

00:05:27.540 Yeah, no socks.

00:05:28.640 Like, those are the only shoes you have, I'm pretty sure.

00:05:31.460 Dude, no, I have lots of other dress shoes, but, like, none of them are even close to that

00:05:35.160 night.

00:05:35.380 Those are $300 and, like, something dollar dress shoes. 1.00

00:05:37.760 They're fucking sick. 0.99

00:05:38.980 Clint's right arm is the same width as Destiny's body. 1.00

00:05:42.080 God.

00:05:46.980 That's actually, that's actually my small arm because my, I had nerve damage in my neck,

00:05:50.940 so my right tricep doesn't, like, put on mass like my left one.

00:05:54.980 You can't really tell, but my left arm's bigger.

00:05:57.280 Now, why'd you choose the, like, the dress shoes, nice khaki pants, and then a t-shirt?

00:06:02.620 What was up with that? 0.99

00:06:04.260 Uh, because I have a lot of money, and I don't give a fuck. 0.99

00:06:07.500 I would think you would come in there looking nice with the collar, maybe, maybe with something, 0.98

00:06:11.180 like, I never, I don't think you own a tie for one.

00:06:14.680 I used to, but I, since I shut down my business, I didn't have a reason to wear ties.

00:06:18.660 I mean, I haven't really worn ties in, like, since I was, I worked for Verizon Wireless.

00:06:22.260 Here, I'm going to give you a secret, and you're, you're going to be dealing with this

00:06:24.800 soon because you're getting jack, jack-moted, too. 0.99

00:06:27.480 Once you get to a certain amount of bulk, dress clothes look fucked on you. 0.99

00:06:31.800 They don't, they don't, they don't, they don't, they don't, they don't, they don't, they don't 0.98

00:06:32.800 Oh, that's true.

00:06:33.820 So, I don't like wearing dress clothes because, um, my chest and my shoulders require me,

00:06:38.440 like, I'd have to get, like, a custom-made dress shirt, really, because, like, my, my

00:06:41.800 waist is much slimmer than my shoulders and my chest is, so, like, just clothes just look 0.98

00:06:46.480 fucked on me. 0.99

00:06:47.120 That's why. 0.99

00:06:47.300 That's true.

00:06:47.720 That's why, uh, John Fetterman wears a hoodie all the time.

00:06:50.580 Oh, no, uh, there was a guy that, I think so, I think it's just because he's retired. 0.98

00:06:53.720 There was a guy that went to college with, though, that he was fucking jacked. 0.92

00:06:56.560 He was, I mean, he was a specimen, but him in the, like, button-up short sleeves, if 0.97

00:07:03.260 you, if you can get a nice button-up short sleeve shirt.

00:07:05.140 Oh, I have, I have some of those, yeah.

00:07:06.420 It'll make your arms pop.

00:07:08.160 Yeah, no, I look, I look ridiculous in, in those shirts, but, like, I'm still getting

00:07:13.760 myself back in shape, so give me, give me a little time.

00:07:16.340 I'm on my way.

00:07:17.120 Uh, let's, let's go ahead and pull this photo down so we don't keep basing.

00:07:20.300 I was going to talk about how, uh, Destiny has, like, an inverted bulge there.

00:07:25.020 It's, like, concave.

00:07:26.560 I, how do you choose to, like, go in front of people with that hair?

00:07:31.420 Not necessarily the color, but the style, like, it was, like.

00:07:35.720 Homeboy didn't shower for it.

00:07:37.120 He, like, it was remarkable. 0.99

00:07:38.480 It was, like, he did not give a shit. 1.00

00:07:40.180 No, he didn't give a shit. 0.99

00:07:41.200 He wanted to look as much like Zelensky as possible. 0.99

00:07:44.100 Honestly, he looked like a kid that had been playing StarCraft II all night.

00:07:47.760 There we go. 0.98

00:07:48.240 Oh, Top Lops to the most racist Puerto Rican on the planet. 1.00

00:07:50.720 Ooh, all right. 0.98

00:07:51.280 How you feeling, brother?

00:07:52.100 You thought, you thought that I wouldn't be on here.

00:07:55.280 No, I thought you would.

00:07:56.640 I knew.

00:07:57.200 I wasn't sure, but when it comes to you needing to be racist against Jamaicans, I knew you'd 1.00

00:08:02.360 have to show up.

00:08:03.260 God, you really hyped us up for this.

00:08:05.380 So, it's pretty good. 0.99

00:08:06.300 I'm expecting, like, good shit because you were like, I can do two hours on Jamaican. 1.00

00:08:11.860 Honestly, this is why I'm faking my own sickness right now because I feel like I just can't 0.99

00:08:16.640 live up to the hype.

00:08:17.380 You've got to lower expectations.

00:08:18.280 Yeah.

00:08:19.660 The hype that I've created on this.

00:08:21.540 And I also feel like I can't match the energy right now that I need to describe the negatry

00:08:31.600 that was at work.

00:08:33.080 I mean, powerful, powerful stuff.

00:08:36.400 Give us a taste.

00:08:39.400 Give us one absurd story about Jamaicans. 1.00

00:08:43.120 One absurd story.

00:08:44.560 Or just something you were noticing.

00:08:47.380 Maybe the first thing you notice.

00:08:48.620 You get off the plane or boat, however you got there.

00:08:51.220 Don't notice too much, but go ahead.

00:08:52.820 Yeah, I can tell you, like, all right.

00:08:56.280 So, first thing you do, and you guys ever been to Jamaica?

00:09:00.060 Clint, you look like you've been.

00:09:01.500 I do look like I've been.

00:09:03.640 I've been to lots of people in Jamaica, probably.

00:09:06.340 When did you go?

00:09:07.660 How long ago?

00:09:09.180 The most recent time was, like, probably four or five years ago.

00:09:12.920 Okay.

00:09:14.640 So, I get off of the plane, right?

00:09:18.540 We walk out.

00:09:19.240 And first off, it's like, it's like Soul Plane on this plane.

00:09:21.700 All righty, just to begin with.

00:09:23.120 This is the type of vacation that me and my wife are having in four years by ourselves.

00:09:29.020 So, we're like, we're going to go away somewhere nice.

00:09:31.760 We're just going to chill.

00:09:33.240 It's going to be great.

00:09:34.620 And I let her pick where we're going because I'm too busy with everything else.

00:09:39.480 So, we get off the plane.

00:09:41.000 Yeah, never let the woman choose. 1.00

00:09:43.160 No, this is a huge mistake.

00:09:46.660 Actually, maybe not.

00:09:48.100 I'll tell the story.

00:09:49.240 Honestly, see, I'm going to get you there.

00:09:50.920 I think the women choosing where to go because usually I hate the whole, like, what do you want to do? 1.00

00:09:55.640 What do you want to do?

00:09:56.100 And so, I feel like if they plan something, they usually – I mean, at least they can't be upset at you for picking something that they're not asking.

00:10:03.300 Oh, yeah.

00:10:03.860 That's the point, yeah.

00:10:05.200 You get to turn it around on them.

00:10:06.860 I can have fun anywhere.

00:10:08.980 I can always make anything fun.

00:10:10.360 For me, I'm always in a good mood. 0.98

00:10:12.100 I can just fucking plow through. 0.96

00:10:13.320 But true story, the last time I smoked weed was at Bob Marley's gravesite in Jamaica. 0.98

00:10:19.600 Bob Marley is another reason why I think Jamaica is fake, but I'm going to get into it. 1.00

00:10:23.360 Interesting.

00:10:24.240 You have piqued my interest.

00:10:25.960 Yes.

00:10:26.280 So, I mean, the whole thing was bizarre, like, from front to back.

00:10:32.280 So, you get off the plane.

00:10:33.940 You have to go through customs.

00:10:36.100 And, like, you walk down this yellow hallway.

00:10:38.380 And immediately I notice it's like, oh, somebody's been just kicking holes into the sheetrock here.

00:10:44.320 Just holes.

00:10:45.640 In the airport.

00:10:46.120 In the airport, yeah.

00:10:48.100 The first thing is, this is a government airport, I think, if they have a government.

00:10:51.560 So, someone's just kicking holes.

00:10:54.860 And the Jamaican people that work there have decided no need to fix them. 1.00

00:10:59.880 Doesn't matter.

00:11:01.560 This is like our main source of income is tourism.

00:11:04.860 No need to fix that.

00:11:05.980 You walk a little further down.

00:11:07.400 It's like stepping into Section 8 housing, basically.

00:11:09.560 And they're just like, don't care.

00:11:11.240 Just like it's going to – there's going to be holes in the walls and cockroaches behind all the cabinets.

00:11:18.360 Maybe even worse than that, Cole.

00:11:19.920 It's like – 0.56

00:11:21.120 Yeah, it could be cocks. 0.62

00:11:22.260 Maybe they're glory holes. 1.00

00:11:27.680 So, I don't have this kind of energy for this bullshit. 1.00

00:11:31.880 All right. 0.99

00:11:32.100 So, you walk a little further down.

00:11:34.760 You notice that there's just bottles and, like, garbage strewn in the airport.

00:11:39.060 Did you notice this, Clint, when you went?

00:11:42.220 It was a while ago.

00:11:45.180 I just remember –

00:11:46.420 He was just that white dude like, I'm in Jamaica. 0.99

00:11:48.200 Fuck yeah, I'm in Jamaica. 1.00

00:11:49.640 No, no, no, no, no. 1.00

00:11:50.760 Pre- and post-COVID must be something.

00:11:52.540 There has to be something there.

00:11:53.560 That's probably true.

00:11:54.700 It was probably nicer before COVID because, like, you got to keep in mind, they went a year plus with, like, no tourism. 0.99

00:12:00.360 So, that fucked them. 0.99

00:12:01.480 They were just, like, dead. 1.00

00:12:03.600 So, I bet it's a lot worse now, honestly. 0.98

00:12:05.720 Yeah, and an island where they don't have any whites coming over to civilize them, that would suck. 0.98

00:12:10.620 That's true. 0.97

00:12:13.120 Constant colonization.

00:12:14.880 I'm going to get into that.

00:12:15.720 The civilizing forces of imperialism, yes. 0.99

00:12:17.520 So, you walk past all this shit, you go to immigration. 1.00

00:12:20.420 It's the dumbest fucking line ever made. 1.00

00:12:22.160 Because it's all Jamaican people. 1.00

00:12:22.880 I do remember that.

00:12:23.560 Yeah.

00:12:23.720 I know.

00:12:24.700 I've been through immigration in Aruba and a couple other places.

00:12:27.320 Right.

00:12:27.680 It's not retarded. 0.99

00:12:28.820 Like, my daughter could have figured out a better way to organize people, but these people just don't care. 0.89

00:12:33.440 It's amazing.

00:12:34.440 Oh, yeah.

00:12:34.700 Like, I respect it. 1.00

00:12:36.020 What's this faggot saying? 1.00

00:12:37.200 Yeah, whatever. 1.00

00:12:39.220 On their cool running space.

00:12:40.740 It was five years ago, not 25 years ago.

00:12:42.720 So, nobody, like, nobody even cares or is trying.

00:12:46.260 I'm trying to figure out if no one cares or if it's just the IQ is just super low on this island.

00:12:49.600 So, like, that's what I'm paying attention to this whole time.

00:12:52.200 When you get to the airport, I mean, to the lobby, and you have a shuttle.

00:12:56.380 We have a shuttle to our resort, but there's a cab driver there.

00:12:59.880 So, my wife, being a white girl, she goes to the cab driver and she goes, oh, is there, is the shuttle here?

00:13:05.640 And he's like, no shuttle, man, only cabs, because he wants your money.

00:13:09.140 And she's like, oh, my God.

00:13:10.900 He's lying.

00:13:11.720 He's lying.

00:13:12.840 He's like, so my wife turns to me and she's like, oh, my God, there's no shuttle. 0.64

00:13:16.000 And I was like, there's a shuttle here.

00:13:17.320 He's lying to you.

00:13:18.420 Like, this is Jamaican man lying to you. 1.00

00:13:20.420 And she's like, well, what are we going to do?

00:13:21.440 I said, well, do you want to take a cab or a shuttle?

00:13:23.100 Whatever.

00:13:23.420 We're like, let's take a cab.

00:13:24.280 It'll be a little quicker.

00:13:25.540 We get in the cab.

00:13:26.300 Very nice guy.

00:13:27.040 He, like, dances. 1.00

00:13:27.580 Because everybody's, like, very, like, master, master, show tune shit. 0.99

00:13:31.360 So, he dances over to us because it's Jamaica. 0.99

00:13:34.120 He takes my bags, puts them in.

00:13:35.520 He goes, welcome to Jamaica.

00:13:36.980 Do you want some weed?

00:13:38.480 And I say, yes.

00:13:40.560 So, he drives us on this road.

00:13:44.400 It's like, this is the main tourist road.

00:13:45.860 And, I mean, like, you look to your left.

00:13:46.960 It's, like, beautiful.

00:13:47.740 Off the island, palm trees, the water.

00:13:49.660 You look to your right.

00:13:50.800 It looks like Afghanistan. 1.00

00:13:52.040 It's fucking crazy. 0.99

00:13:53.500 It's all, like, brick, like, these cinder block brick buildings. 0.99

00:13:56.260 And the tops are, like, blowing.

00:13:58.260 Like, someone hit them with missiles. 1.00

00:13:59.680 You saw this shit, right? 1.00

00:14:00.580 Tick top. 1.00

00:14:01.180 Which city was this?

00:14:03.060 Montego Bay?

00:14:04.020 Montego Bay.

00:14:04.840 This is, like, one of the main tourist parts.

00:14:07.180 Yeah, yeah. 0.99

00:14:07.680 It's a shithole. 1.00

00:14:08.720 It's a complete shithole. 0.99

00:14:09.980 But it's, like, there's so much money coming in here every day. 1.00

00:14:13.940 And I'm, like, you guys can't fucking figure out how to finish this shit. 0.99

00:14:17.480 Like, Bill. 0.99

00:14:17.760 So, the guy's driving us.

00:14:21.460 He stops off at a shack. 1.00

00:14:22.740 Because everything's a fucking shack. 0.99

00:14:24.240 You guys have been to my house. 1.00

00:14:25.080 You've seen the goat shack back there? 0.99

00:14:26.580 The one that I won't put goats in because it's not good enough for goats. 1.00

00:14:29.500 This is what they're, they're running commerce out of this shit. 0.99

00:14:35.080 I would not, like, I would definitely buy weed in Jamaica. 0.98

00:14:39.460 But the thing is, like, I feel like the weed that the cab man is going to get me to is not very good weed.

00:14:47.280 But I guess you're getting there to what the weed was like that's coming out there.

00:14:50.260 It was a risk.

00:14:51.780 And it was good.

00:14:52.960 Oh, okay.

00:14:53.680 It worked out.

00:14:55.320 Yeah, sort of.

00:14:56.160 I mean, it was super sketchy.

00:14:57.400 Like, very sketchy.

00:14:58.480 The whole time driving through.

00:14:59.380 Like, I'm from Coney Island.

00:15:00.280 I'm used to, like, feeling like I might die. 1.00

00:15:02.920 I felt like, oh, shit. 0.99

00:15:04.300 I might die. 1.00

00:15:05.240 Like, the way these people are driving.

00:15:07.280 Just, like, the conditions of everything.

00:15:09.260 It was insane.

00:15:10.200 It was, like, it was driving through, like, Mad Max.

00:15:12.720 So, and I'm not saying this is, like, a white person.

00:15:15.020 I'm saying this is somebody who is familiar with certain death, like, all the time. 0.99

00:15:19.560 Like, where I live, gunshots, all kinds of crazy shit. 0.97

00:15:22.260 I was, like, I did not feel comfortable just driving through. 0.93

00:15:25.160 We make it to our hotel where I'm, like, finally some kind of safety, normalcy.

00:15:29.440 We're in an all-inclusive resort, the Rio, right?

00:15:31.700 Really nice.

00:15:32.940 We get in.

00:15:34.060 They take our bags.

00:15:35.140 I go to the check-in. 0.99

00:15:36.300 And immediately in front of us is a fat black woman. 1.00

00:15:39.480 I mean, fat. 0.99

00:15:41.200 Clothes don't fit.

00:15:42.660 She's got, like, she's already got her bathing suit on.

00:15:44.560 Nothing fits.

00:15:45.140 She's got colored hair. 1.00

00:15:46.160 She's got big, fake eyelashes and big, fake nails. 1.00

00:15:48.820 And she's got both of her.

00:15:49.580 Hey, Tom, they all have colored hair.

00:15:51.300 Yes.

00:15:51.780 Yeah, they do.

00:15:52.140 Wait, wait.

00:15:52.660 Lizzo was there?

00:15:54.320 No, they all were Lizzo.

00:15:55.620 I say colored hair because, I'll explain.

00:15:58.240 Both hands on the desk and she's twerking. 0.96

00:16:00.440 Just, bam, like, individual ass cheeks twerking in front of us. 1.00

00:16:03.620 So, I look at, my wife looks at me. 0.99

00:16:05.260 I look at her and I said, what the fuck is going on right now? 0.98

00:16:09.240 I thought, like, we paid $400 a night. 1.00

00:16:12.240 I thought this was for white people. 0.88

00:16:14.480 I didn't realize this is tax season.

00:16:16.700 This is pricing out.

00:16:17.320 Oh, you did go during tax returns, man. 1.00

00:16:22.000 Yeah, shit. 1.00

00:16:22.660 Keep that in mind. 1.00

00:16:23.760 This should have been a very nice hotel.

00:16:26.060 Tax season.

00:16:27.280 So, I went from one jungle of, like, pure Jamaican jungle craziness. 1.00

00:16:33.260 Just, like, a taste of it.

00:16:34.280 Just a little, uh.

00:16:35.240 And I was like, that's enough.

00:16:36.920 Into, like, right into Brownsville.

00:16:42.360 Brownsville, New York.

00:16:44.080 Brownsville, New York, the most ghetto. 0.97

00:16:45.380 If you've ever been to a black party, Toad, you know what I'm talking about. 1.00

00:16:47.980 The most ghetto trash shit. 1.00

00:16:49.840 We get our room keys. 1.00

00:16:51.820 They're like, yeah, man, just go check out the rooms and all this.

00:16:54.140 So, we walk to the rooms, but you got to walk by all the pools.

00:16:57.060 And we got to walk by everything.

00:16:59.500 And as we're walking by, I'm just looking around.

00:17:01.540 I said, I just grabbed my arm. 0.99

00:17:02.980 I said, where the fuck did you bring me? 0.99

00:17:05.440 Where did you bring me now? 0.99

00:17:08.080 I'm trying to relax. 1.00

00:17:09.200 I thought you were going to say, where the fuck are all the white people? 1.00

00:17:12.220 Yo. 1.00

00:17:12.760 Did the pool look like a gas station bathroom?

00:17:15.380 Just a whole bunch of turds and a bunch of water, man.

00:17:19.900 Just brown and water.

00:17:22.260 Oh, my God, dude. 1.00

00:17:23.160 It's just a bunch of ghetto black people here. 1.00

00:17:26.120 They all have their own, like, music player, even though there's a DJ playing. 1.00

00:17:29.260 And they're playing their own shit music. 0.99

00:17:31.040 And I'm like, oh, dude. 1.00

00:17:32.720 It was like being on a fucking subway for four days. 0.99

00:17:35.660 So, it was crazy. 0.99

00:17:40.740 It was like my commute every single day.

00:17:43.680 Was the deep end of the pool?

00:17:46.000 You just go in there?

00:17:46.900 Like, no way around?

00:17:49.040 There's no deep end. 0.99

00:17:50.220 They only keep that shit at four feet because they know, like, I guess they knew this was 0.99

00:17:53.600 like an all-black resort. 1.00

00:17:54.700 Nobody told me.

00:17:56.020 No one said.

00:17:56.340 It was referred to as by a friend who I'm no longer friends with.

00:17:59.480 But nobody said, this is an all-black resort. 0.68

00:18:01.520 Hey, Danny, go there.

00:18:02.260 Check this out.

00:18:02.880 Hey, Top, whatever.

00:18:03.880 I dox myself again.

00:18:05.800 Everybody gets doxed by themselves. 0.99

00:18:07.980 God damn it, by themselves. 0.99

00:18:08.900 So, yeah. 0.99

00:18:11.260 So, we go there.

00:18:12.560 And it's just like, I mean, you don't see one shred of clothing that fits one black woman. 0.95

00:18:18.560 And it's the craziest thing. 0.87

00:18:20.280 Like, they're wearing.

00:18:21.380 I can't even. 1.00

00:18:22.100 It's like I'm having PTSD just thinking about this shit. 1.00

00:18:24.920 I've seen so much ass and so much black titties in those four days that I'm like, I'm scarred 1.00

00:18:31.240 for life. 1.00

00:18:31.640 And I know you guys would be jerking over this stuff.

00:18:33.240 Dude, I'm going to Jermaine. 0.99

00:18:35.360 That sounds disgusting.

00:18:36.640 It was like, I was explaining to my wife. 0.74

00:18:40.840 I'm like, we're looking at a lot of sexualized stuff here. 0.99

00:18:44.400 But for me, it's like looking at like dogs have sex. 0.90

00:18:48.960 It's not the same thing. 0.94

00:18:51.080 No, it's like the documentaries of when they go to Africa and it's just all the women topless. 0.99

00:18:56.280 But it's just like, it isn't sexual. 0.95

00:18:58.760 My penis is not reacting at all. 0.99

00:19:01.660 It's not really shaggy. 0.99

00:19:03.100 No, it shouldn't be.

00:19:03.920 I went on a Royal Caribbean cruise with my dad four or five months ago.

00:19:09.620 It was just a three-day little weekend, you know, jaunt.

00:19:13.020 And I'm telling you, dude, out of Miami, like it's one of those.

00:19:16.740 My dad's super cheap. 0.98

00:19:17.500 So he picks like the cheapest motherfucking cruise you could possibly get. 0.99

00:19:20.620 I can't believe you didn't go on Carnival. 0.99

00:19:22.780 Yeah.

00:19:23.200 I mean, it was basically that.

00:19:25.320 And but I'm telling you, it was like my I was single because I just broken up with

00:19:29.640 and then he's like, he's like, there's lots of single women on here, Clint. 0.98

00:19:33.500 And, you know, like, why aren't you talking to any of them?

00:19:35.120 I was like, you looked at any of them.

00:19:39.020 I'm telling you, it's like this is why I know exactly what top experience because it is so unappealing. 1.00

00:19:44.700 They're just fucking disgusting. 1.00

00:19:46.860 You know, you know, you know, like the it's bad, like the pool of women is bad. 1.00

00:19:54.400 When you watch porn on like the Wi-Fi of the the fucking cruise, like the wife of somebody, you're like, I just got to run one out. 0.99

00:20:02.080 I can hook up with any of these women. 1.00

00:20:05.060 This is how this is how ghetto this this is how ghetto this boat was. 0.86

00:20:08.200 The Wi-Fi wasn't even good enough for me to get video. 0.99

00:20:10.440 So I was just fucked. 0.93

00:20:11.400 I was just like, I got three days looking at a bunch of women that are interested in me. 1.00

00:20:15.560 I am not interested in them, dude. 0.99

00:20:18.280 Like there was I went to the nightclub the last night I was on the ship and it was like, I mean, there's like three white people on this motherfucker. 0.99

00:20:26.740 I'm not even exaggerating. 0.99

00:20:27.980 Like there's like three other white people. 0.96

00:20:29.620 And the and the dance floor is just like it's like a sex party. 0.80

00:20:33.620 But everyone's still got their clothes on. 0.99

00:20:35.080 It was so fucking foul. 0.99

00:20:37.000 Exactly. 0.99

00:20:37.200 Yes.

00:20:37.920 But this but all day.

00:20:39.780 It smelled crazy.

00:20:40.260 This is why I would only like if I'm going on a cruise, I'm going like Norwegian.

00:20:44.840 Norwegian because I know that's I've done Norwegian.

00:20:47.260 You know, here's here's the problem.

00:20:48.980 Oh, yeah.

00:20:49.240 I did a 17 day cruise on Norwegian through the Panama Canal and there was just nothing but like 85 year olds because no one else can take that much time off work.

00:20:55.800 This is the problem of having money when you're young.

00:20:57.820 Yeah, yeah.

00:20:58.440 You get to teach.

00:21:00.340 I mean, it was chill.

00:21:01.420 It was relaxed.

00:21:02.040 But going on a cruise and you are the best looking person there, you know, like because like, no, I don't want that.

00:21:08.600 Why not? 1.00

00:21:09.740 I want because I want fucking women, dude. 1.00

00:21:11.840 I mean, I'm sorry. 1.00

00:21:12.640 I'm married.

00:21:13.160 Like, I.

00:21:13.900 Oh, yeah.

00:21:15.760 By the way, I region or like one of those Alaskan cruises that goes a bit like all that is like super chill.

00:21:22.440 It's no like it's all old.

00:21:24.000 It's boring.

00:21:24.680 It's boring.

00:21:25.120 Yeah. 0.99

00:21:25.400 I also like how you have just equated black people with ugliness, by the way. 0.99

00:21:30.380 That's what's going on. 0.97

00:21:31.320 No, it's true.

00:21:32.580 There are.

00:21:33.080 I used to watch.

00:21:33.900 I used to watch that that wedding show with my wife, like when we were getting married, you know, the one would say yes to the dress. 0.69

00:21:39.900 Yeah.

00:21:40.180 Yeah.

00:21:40.480 Yeah. 1.00

00:21:41.160 I know that Coles probably had to watch that bullshit. 1.00

00:21:44.080 And yeah, I don't get forced to watch that shit. 1.00

00:21:47.980 This is going to be used against me in the court a little bit. 1.00

00:21:50.120 Every time I seen that and you see a black lady wearing a dress, I'm like, just I don't know. 1.00

00:21:54.540 Like, it's white.

00:21:56.060 It's just like it doesn't look natural.

00:21:57.300 Maybe because they don't get married that much or I don't know.

00:21:59.500 It just doesn't look right.

00:22:01.680 Am I?

00:22:02.780 They look more at home in a black dress, like at a funeral. 0.92

00:22:05.960 Elizabeth is saying she doesn't want to go on a cruise because it sounds boring.

00:22:08.620 I don't think you understand.

00:22:09.440 I'm going on a cruise not for like super fun.

00:22:12.580 I'm going to relax and chill.

00:22:14.460 Like, and she's the one that's also, she's not drinking anymore.

00:22:18.000 She doesn't want to drink.

00:22:18.740 I'm the one that actually drinks.

00:22:19.960 Let's be honest.

00:22:21.380 Pull up Elizabeth's comment again.

00:22:23.060 Look at her face. 0.98

00:22:24.360 That's the face of a girl who dates a black man. 0.99

00:22:26.260 You know she wants to be on a cruise. 1.00

00:22:27.840 For real.

00:22:29.660 You would have lost her.

00:22:30.800 You would have lost her in Jamaica. 1.00

00:22:32.040 Don't bring her to Jamaica. 1.00

00:22:32.960 Jamaica, any car.

00:22:37.620 I'm not taking on her carnival cruise.

00:22:39.260 I will.

00:22:39.700 She would literally be gone.

00:22:40.900 Like three seconds. 1.00

00:22:41.860 They would, they would steal her ass from you straight up. 1.00

00:22:45.640 Yeah. 1.00

00:22:46.080 You can't swim and you don't go in pools.

00:22:47.580 Explain why there's such a high concentration at these places.

00:22:49.520 Well, that's the craziest thing.

00:22:50.980 They're all dressed.

00:22:52.300 What I started to notice, like after.

00:22:53.900 So like my emotions were like fear, extreme fear.

00:22:57.220 And then I'm like angry a little bit at my wife, but I'm, I don't want to ruin the vacation.

00:23:01.020 And then it just, I said, you know what?

00:23:03.700 I'm letting it go. 1.00

00:23:04.800 Like we're just, we're in this shit. 1.00

00:23:06.580 It's just all clown shit. 1.00

00:23:08.300 Everything is clown shit. 1.00

00:23:09.460 You look around and I started like really like putting it together. 1.00

00:23:12.900 I'm like, oh, these people are just clowns. 0.99

00:23:14.520 Like they come here. 0.98

00:23:15.660 These guys are dressed like with like $500 sneakers that I've never seen before with the

00:23:19.700 brightest color sitting by a pool with like, you know, the girls are dressed with like, 1.00

00:23:24.320 you know, old name brand designer, all this shit. 0.98

00:23:26.760 None of it fits. 0.99

00:23:27.680 It doesn't matter.

00:23:28.580 None of it, it was all they had in the store.

00:23:32.880 They don't carry triple X large in a Gucci.

00:23:39.780 It's all like, it's all stretch marks.

00:23:41.820 And like, if it's not stretch marks, it's just like unattractiveness overall.

00:23:44.920 Like if we weren't outside, I'd be like, it would smell crazy in here, but then their

00:23:48.740 hair, they spent hundreds of dollars on like their hair. 1.00

00:23:51.400 I like putting all the shit in it. 1.00

00:23:52.740 But it's all, it's wigs too. 1.00

00:23:55.220 It's all wigs. 1.00

00:23:55.920 It's all fake shit. 1.00

00:23:56.420 So you can't even go in the pool, which is bizarre. 1.00

00:23:58.300 Like they have big, it's like, you have all these clown accessories to prevent you from

00:24:02.880 enjoying the water that you paid for to come here. 0.99

00:24:05.720 Like it's basically the whole thing is just a fucking pool. 0.98

00:24:08.240 Well, and like you said, they had to make the pool just four feet deep the whole way 0.99

00:24:11.980 though.

00:24:12.120 Cause otherwise it would be really dangerous for all of them.

00:24:14.320 Well, do they, it was, it was it by like the ocean?

00:24:18.040 It was near the beach. 0.99

00:24:19.300 Boy, yeah, it was by, of course it's by the fucking ocean. 0.99

00:24:23.040 Or are they just chilling by the pool the entire time? 0.99

00:24:25.160 Was like the beach too scary?

00:24:26.840 Oh, you know what?

00:24:27.340 Black people were actually, were not by the beach.

00:24:30.060 So let, let me tell you the second part of the story.

00:24:31.820 So we decided to walk the beach.

00:24:33.400 It was really nice.

00:24:34.340 Jose.

00:24:35.080 So they're doing like a, there's, there's like these Ryu fun guys, which is very bizarre. 0.98

00:24:40.640 Have you ever been to these all-inclusive resorts like this?

00:24:42.680 Yeah, that's why I say that. 0.92

00:24:44.420 They hire, they hire a staff to like start games and do shit like this, but they're just 0.95

00:24:50.100 not like regular people. 0.94

00:24:52.300 Like they're professional dancers.

00:24:54.040 They're like DJs.

00:24:55.520 They're musicians.

00:24:56.080 They do everything. 1.00

00:24:56.920 These motherfuckers are cooking in the back, but we meet them and they're playing a volleyball 1.00

00:25:00.880 game. 1.00

00:25:01.100 So we play, my wife is like, she's diving around. 0.94

00:25:03.620 And since it's Jamaica and it's clown world, the sand is concrete. 1.00

00:25:06.780 So her legs are all scraped up. 0.97

00:25:08.760 It's hilarious.

00:25:09.380 It's the first day she's like bleeding. 1.00

00:25:10.860 So yeah, it's crazy shit. 1.00

00:25:13.600 Whatever. 1.00

00:25:13.860 We go to the, uh, they overpriced everything.

00:25:16.440 They want to sell us individual band-aids. 0.98

00:25:17.840 I'm like, get the fuck out of here. 0.91

00:25:19.060 So I'm just going to individual band-aids. 1.00

00:25:23.660 It's wild shit. 0.99

00:25:24.620 They wanted to sell like two for a dollar. 1.00

00:25:27.700 They're loose band-aids.

00:25:30.080 The resort I stayed at was, was like the nicest on the Island. 0.99

00:25:34.400 And I shit you not. 0.98

00:25:35.480 I had lunch sitting right next to Malcolm in the middle, the actor. 0.99

00:25:39.860 Yeah.

00:25:40.300 Yes.

00:25:40.820 Yeah. 1.00

00:25:41.100 With his like smoke show fucking actress, girlfriend or wife or whatever the fuck. 1.00

00:25:45.280 And then, uh, black people, there was all white people, but there was one driver now. 1.00

00:25:56.440 There was no, no, no exaggeration.

00:25:59.260 There was basic, there was like maybe five white people out of a thousand people there.

00:26:02.300 But the, one of the five, like, like I, in fact, the entire black community of my resort

00:26:08.360 was Anthony Anderson's family.

00:26:10.420 It was him and his family. 0.99

00:26:12.120 I shit you not. 1.00

00:26:13.000 He was there. 1.00

00:26:13.620 Was it his real family?

00:26:14.900 Or was it just all the actors from blackish?

00:26:16.860 I'm telling you though, if you, if you're like an actor in some sort of very white show, Jamaica 0.91

00:26:25.920 is probably your best bet to go on a vacation because no one will realize who you are.

00:26:30.880 Yeah.

00:26:31.100 No, because they don't watch the shows.

00:26:32.720 No, no, no. 1.00

00:26:33.100 See, he fucked up though because he went to an all-inclusive resort with a bunch of white 1.00

00:26:36.180 people who all watch blackish. 1.00

00:26:37.820 So he was like, couldn't get a fucking minute. 1.00

00:26:39.160 No, no, no. 0.99

00:26:39.400 I'm talking about Frankie Muniz.

00:26:40.420 I'm talking about Frankie Muniz.

00:26:41.000 No, yeah.

00:26:41.420 Frankie Muniz.

00:26:42.180 Yeah. 0.99

00:26:43.200 No one has a fucking clue who he is. 0.99

00:26:44.600 Yeah, yeah. 0.99

00:26:44.660 Well, the thing is.

00:26:45.420 He's on a white show.

00:26:46.840 It's not.

00:26:47.240 Nobody's watching that.

00:26:48.080 They're like, he. 0.95

00:26:48.720 The thing is, it's not that Jamaicans don't watch.

00:26:50.780 Like, they, they, they're not going to watch that specific type of TV.

00:26:53.040 It's just that they don't have electricity.

00:26:54.820 So they don't watch any TV.

00:26:56.060 No, don't talk about the tourists. 0.99

00:26:56.600 The tourists there, you said, are all black. 0.99

00:26:57.880 Oh, yes. 0.99

00:26:58.300 So they're not watching.

00:26:59.600 So I'm saying, if you are a white actor in a very white show, like if you're 0.99

00:27:03.560 Tim Allen goes to fucking Jamaica for vacation because no one knows who Tim Allen is. 0.99

00:27:10.480 They're not going to talk to none of the people. 0.99

00:27:12.500 There's a fatal flaw in your, your logic here. 0.55

00:27:15.240 Everyone at the resort that I was at was white. 1.00

00:27:17.360 So they're all fucking huge home improvement fans. 0.99

00:27:19.440 If you wanted to actually. 0.99

00:27:20.620 But that's the great thing.

00:27:21.520 That means you get catered by the establishment while also flying under the radar for all the 0.99

00:27:27.640 tour, all the shitty people. 0.99

00:27:29.380 Let me ask you this. 0.99

00:27:30.240 You don't want to get noticed by the regular people.

00:27:32.300 So you want to get noticed by the, uh, the establishment you're at.

00:27:36.840 Did you tip?

00:27:37.740 Did you tip all the time?

00:27:39.160 No.

00:27:40.480 Okay.

00:27:40.900 See, this is, so this is a very weird rule of engagement.

00:27:43.500 You was like, I tipped all the mad people over.

00:27:44.780 No, cause you're paying mad money for all inclusive.

00:27:46.980 Right?

00:27:47.360 Right.

00:27:47.620 But it always felt like, like, so the first two days, it feels like the people that are 0.98

00:27:52.640 doing shit for you, like they're doing shit that you could do yourself. 0.94

00:27:54.820 But I'm like, I feel like they want to tip and I have like hundreds on me. 0.99

00:27:58.220 So I was like, I don't know.

00:27:59.360 It's just weird.

00:28:00.220 No, I mean, I, I tipped, I got a massage.

00:28:02.740 I tipped them.

00:28:03.680 I, when I like a bartender, I would give a dollar per drink.

00:28:06.560 Yeah.

00:28:07.540 Yeah.

00:28:07.820 Yeah.

00:28:07.940 Yeah.

00:28:08.060 So I was, I'm not, I'm not tipping you like just for checking me in and shit.

00:28:11.800 Like, no. 0.91

00:28:12.300 So I heard that.

00:28:13.360 So they're Jew making. 1.00

00:28:15.020 If you want to, if you want a great, if you want like a great, like bar experience,

00:28:19.800 that first drink you tip, you get tip a 20 and then for the rest of the night, you don't

00:28:24.780 want to tip like a dollar, but that bartender will forever be like giving him first, long

00:28:30.480 pour of drinks.

00:28:31.500 This is an all-inclusive resort, dude. 0.78

00:28:32.940 Like they, you're, there's no fucking long wait, you know, it was fine.

00:28:36.240 But I got one quick story and it's not really funny, but it's just like, it just kind of 0.98

00:28:40.120 emphasizes how fucked up Jamaica is for, to make top's case. 0.97

00:28:43.440 I, when I went to Bob Marley's childhood home and I think it was his grave too, but maybe 0.99

00:28:49.300 it was just his childhood home.

00:28:50.460 Anyway, I was, I was, I was buried in the basement, but his, his childhood homes, like 1.00

00:28:55.460 this little fucking, you know, every, every house there's sucks. 0.99

00:28:58.580 So his house is nicer, but it still sucks. 1.00

00:29:00.360 And yes, exactly. 0.88

00:29:02.320 You know, we, we drive up this mountain and, and it's like, it's very, very steep. 0.92

00:29:08.980 This mountain is like no fucking joke steep. 0.97

00:29:11.020 And, and they, they're so backwards and poor that they don't ever repair their roads. 0.99

00:29:18.560 This is the same mountain.

00:29:19.900 Let me tell the story.

00:29:22.940 Okay.

00:29:23.540 Okay.

00:29:23.860 So, so, all right.

00:29:24.940 So I had to tell the story. 1.00

00:29:25.900 My wife's knees, her legs are all fucked up. 1.00

00:29:27.740 And I mean like fucked up because this shit is like concrete. 1.00

00:29:31.040 So she's like weeping sores. 1.00

00:29:33.160 There's no near, we went to the, to the gift shop to get, that's what women are weeping 1.00

00:29:36.560 sores all the way up to her waist.

00:29:41.960 We go to the, to the gift shop.

00:29:43.400 We try to buy band-aids.

00:29:44.380 They want to charge us 80. 0.99

00:29:45.360 I said, I told her, I said, listen, bitch, if I had to pay for this, for my wife to have 1.00

00:29:48.920 band-aids, I'd be spending a hundred dollars here. 0.99

00:29:50.820 It's crazy.

00:29:51.780 But then the lady goes, well, maybe you want to go to the, uh, you want to go to the pharmacy

00:29:56.320 across the road and she says it with a smirk.

00:29:58.760 Like you'll never make it.

00:30:00.480 And I was like, yeah, cause she's right. 0.94

00:30:02.820 We'll never fucking make, you can't even cross the street.

00:30:04.920 Like you can't leave the resort. 0.97

00:30:06.340 I'm telling you, it's like, it's wild.

00:30:08.660 So naturally that night my wife goes and she says, let's book an excursion.

00:30:13.560 Let's go out and see stuff.

00:30:15.360 And then again, I say, okay, cause I'm just in the mood to say, instead of, instead of saying

00:30:21.040 the thing, like the natural thing, like, Hey, a certain death awaits us outside.

00:30:25.640 I say, no, let's go.

00:30:28.200 You say, we're on vacation. 1.00

00:30:29.680 Let's die. 0.87

00:30:31.100 I want an adventure. 0.97

00:30:32.420 Like that's what I've not had in my life.

00:30:34.060 Adventure.

00:30:34.960 We book, we book two, two things the same day.

00:30:37.980 It's a bamboo raft.

00:30:39.400 You sit on the bamboo raft and they bring you around.

00:30:42.240 And then, uh, a catamaran cruise.

00:30:44.940 And it says, I, we buy it.

00:30:46.800 It's been like $500.

00:30:48.040 They sent us an email.

00:30:48.820 They said, be ready at 3 PM, right?

00:30:51.140 Next day, 1130 in the morning, I get a text message that says, where are you?

00:30:55.600 And I say, who is this?

00:30:58.320 And they go, this, this is for the, this is for the excursion.

00:31:01.720 Where are you?

00:31:02.380 And I said, you said at three, I would never say at three, man, check your emails.

00:31:06.580 So I send him a screenshot that says three.

00:31:08.700 And the guy just texts back, be there in five minutes.

00:31:12.180 So I'm like, okay.

00:31:13.300 So we run to the lobby, right?

00:31:17.380 Wait a second.

00:31:18.060 They were early, not late. 0.97

00:31:20.120 They were just, no, that doesn't, so black people, the black people that stay at this 1.00

00:31:24.720 hotel are late. 1.00

00:31:25.580 The Jamaican people are backwards and also late and just everything's fucking retarded. 1.00

00:31:30.820 So we get in the car and, and there's like three black people from Brooklyn, go figure. 1.00

00:31:36.660 And they drive up, they drive us up this fucking mountain. 0.99

00:31:39.440 It's a mountain in a place called Leti. 0.99

00:31:41.700 Okay.

00:31:42.480 And the same thing, real thin road where like, if you fall off certain death, like I'm looking

00:31:48.240 at it.

00:31:48.840 Yeah.

00:31:49.120 Yeah.

00:31:49.400 Yeah. 0.99

00:31:49.860 It's like so steep and there's like bamboo spikes and fucking treat. 1.00

00:31:54.000 I'm like, you're, you're dead. 0.99

00:31:54.900 And people are just driving around. 1.00

00:31:56.340 There's like a real tall, skinny truck, just fucking on two wheels, driving around there. 0.97

00:32:00.020 It's, it's crazy. 0.99

00:32:02.040 Yeah.

00:32:02.460 We drive like, we, we drive past the broken buildings.

00:32:06.100 Again, we drove past the biggest KFC I've seen in my life.

00:32:10.020 It was just up there on the bottom.

00:32:12.520 It was the only like the only, uh, civilized establishment in Jamaica.

00:32:16.500 It's KFC Mecca.

00:32:19.460 That's just, that's just how much, uh, black people love fried chicken.

00:32:23.320 For real.

00:32:23.940 It had two stories.

00:32:24.920 It was like, nice, whatever.

00:32:26.460 We drove by that.

00:32:27.280 We're going up the mountain.

00:32:28.240 And then again, we get to a point where there's like, they, they were building the road and 1.00

00:32:32.100 then they just said, fuck it, I guess. 0.99

00:32:34.100 And now it's like just craters. 1.00

00:32:35.980 So we're driving around the crater. 0.99

00:32:38.320 Is this the same shit that happened to you? 1.00

00:32:39.760 A hundred percent, dude. 0.99

00:32:40.600 But mine, mine gets even sketchier, but I'll let you finish.

00:32:42.860 No, my, I believe me.

00:32:43.880 We go ahead and finish yours.

00:32:44.660 Cause I guarantee you mine is way more sketchy.

00:32:46.700 All right.

00:32:46.940 If it's more sketchy, we'll see.

00:32:48.260 All right.

00:32:48.560 So I am on a, uh, cause I'm doing an excursion too.

00:32:51.720 It's me and my brother.

00:32:52.420 I think my mom came.

00:32:53.360 I can't remember. 0.99

00:32:54.320 Um, but we're on this fucking, we're in a van, you know, big ass van. 0.99

00:32:57.640 And it's got two rows on each side, probably 40 people inside, maybe more. 0.99

00:33:03.100 And we're going up this fucking mountain to go out to Bob Marley's house. 0.98

00:33:06.520 Why I'm doing this. 0.99

00:33:07.900 I don't know. 0.98

00:33:08.800 I don't even fucking listen to Bob Marley. 0.98

00:33:12.780 I don't care at all. 0.99

00:33:13.640 But my little brother is like big Bob Marley fan.

00:33:16.240 He's kind of a stoner back in the day. 0.99

00:33:17.860 So he's like, we got to go get high up on Marley's fucking gravesite. 0.99

00:33:21.160 Like that's incredible. 1.00

00:33:22.040 Fuck it. 1.00

00:33:22.400 All right, let's do it. 1.00

00:33:23.620 I'm in fucking Jamaica. 1.00

00:33:24.440 Let's go risk my life for no apparent reason. 0.99

00:33:26.020 And I thought it was just going to, I thought I was going to be risking my life because 1.00

00:33:29.380 there's all these fucking gangster Jamaicans around and they'd probably kill me. 1.00

00:33:32.260 Little did I know. 1.00

00:33:33.000 No, it was the transport that had the highest probability of ending my life. 0.99

00:33:36.420 So we're going up these fucking mountains. 0.99

00:33:37.680 And as you go up, so as you get higher, the road gets narrower. 0.99

00:33:42.060 So you're like, like it's more dangerous up top. 0.95

00:33:45.360 So let's make it fucking super duper narrow. 0.91

00:33:47.980 And there's no railing whatsoever. 0.97

00:33:51.380 That's none.

00:33:51.920 Yeah, exactly.

00:33:53.040 I'm like somebody at some point, like someone on this island must have been like, hey, let's

00:33:56.900 put up a little bit of something. 1.00

00:33:58.180 But they're like, no, fuck it. 1.00

00:33:59.720 Because they're too busy twerking and smoking and doing whatever else Jamaican people do. 1.00

00:34:03.920 It's wild.

00:34:04.460 Here's my thought to this. 0.99

00:34:05.520 As an engineer, I'm thinking, wow, we're just spending a lot of money on extra shit that 0.99

00:34:09.540 we don't need. 0.99

00:34:10.420 They're making it way easy out there.

00:34:12.200 Small roads, no railing.

00:34:13.560 We're over here. 0.99

00:34:14.080 These fucking paved roads, all nice with the shoulder and railings. 0.99

00:34:17.520 If you drive on the road and I was noticing the signs and you're driving by and like since 1.00

00:34:25.320 Jamaican people are so dumb or simple, I mean, again, I can't go back to Jamaica after this 1.00

00:34:29.960 shit, but since they're so fucking retarded, they have to like give them like, they'll be 1.00

00:34:34.640 like buckle your seatbelt or you'll be something like any, anything, any safety measure that they 1.00

00:34:41.820 had, it has to rhyme for them to remember it.

00:34:44.260 And I'm noticing, I'm like, it's like a song, there will be no help, man.

00:34:51.120 Yes, exactly.

00:34:51.920 And there is no help for real.

00:34:53.640 No, there's no help.

00:34:54.520 There's no fire department.

00:34:56.260 Like if you, if you go off the side of the road, you're just dead.

00:34:58.600 That's it.

00:34:59.780 Let me, let me, let me finish real quick.

00:35:01.420 So we're, we're, we're going up, the road's getting narrower and we're in a big wide bus 0.91

00:35:07.660 and we're, and I, and we have these fucking little like shanty trucks that are in front 0.98

00:35:11.980 of us and you could see them and they're like, they're like tottering. 1.00

00:35:15.180 You're like, Oh, that motherfucker could die at any God. 1.00

00:35:17.860 If you fall off the side, you will have died. 1.00

00:35:20.320 Yes, exactly.

00:35:21.760 And then we're going up and, and as we get like, there's like Kurt, like, like very sharp 0.99

00:35:30.000 curves and we're in a fucking bus on a road. 0.99

00:35:32.720 That's about as thick as a pencil. 1.00

00:35:35.440 It's so fucking tiny. 0.99

00:35:36.620 And I, I shit you not, I'm, I'm sitting on the right side cause I want to see how close 0.99

00:35:41.220 we are to death. 0.99

00:35:41.800 Cause I'm freaking out and I'm looking over the edge and I shit you not, I can see pebbles 0.95

00:35:48.040 or like rocks from the edge of the road that are, our wheels are hitting and they are now 0.95

00:35:53.180 going off of the cliff to certain like explosive death.

00:35:56.440 Like that's what's happening over and over again. 0.98

00:35:58.420 And then it starts pouring fucking rain and I'm talking torrential downpour. 0.99

00:36:02.520 This is a Caribbean Island. 0.99

00:36:03.660 So like the rain is next level insane. 0.98

00:36:06.220 And he's just like, the driver's just fucking high out of his mind. 0.99

00:36:09.680 He doesn't go fuck about any of this. 0.99

00:36:10.960 He's just like, I've got 50 people's lives in my hand and I don't care. 0.99

00:36:14.800 Let's see how fast.

00:36:15.780 Yeah, he probably did. 1.00

00:36:16.660 Let's see how fast we can get back to the fucking resort. 0.99

00:36:19.680 So he's not even slowing down. 0.99

00:36:21.220 It's pouring rain. 0.97

00:36:22.200 The road's this fucking thin and he's just pouring it, pouring it around corners. 0.98

00:36:26.760 And I'm like, they don't care. 0.99

00:36:27.600 And I'm looking around and everyone else on the fucking bus is so high that they don't 0.99

00:36:30.900 even care either. 0.99

00:36:31.920 And I'm the only one that's freaking out.

00:36:33.400 But I'm like, we were fractions away from dying.

00:36:36.140 Sorry.

00:36:36.340 Yeah.

00:36:36.660 I just don't care about my life.

00:36:38.020 So I was just kind of like, no, I didn't know you didn't.

00:36:41.260 This is why I panicked for no reason.

00:36:43.640 Yeah, exactly.

00:36:44.380 That's what I tell my wife.

00:36:46.400 Low key.

00:36:47.240 This was, this is why it was like the best vacation ever, because it's like, you really

00:36:50.960 can't get that much fun without getting close to death.

00:36:53.960 Like, I'm so dead inside.

00:36:55.500 You re I really needed this to shake me up a little bit.

00:37:00.040 Oh, okay.

00:37:01.300 Yeah.

00:37:01.580 I'll explain this, this picture in a second.

00:37:03.220 Hold on.

00:37:03.500 Pull that back down.

00:37:04.120 Little Dicky. 0.99

00:37:04.440 So we're going up this fucking mountain again. 0.99

00:37:05.980 Well, yeah, very bizarre. 0.99

00:37:09.660 So we're going up and I'm asking the driver why they drive on the right side, which is

00:37:13.660 this is hilarious. 0.99

00:37:14.360 So I'm starting to put together why Jamaica is fucked. 1.00

00:37:16.640 And he says, oh, well, we were a British colony. 0.99

00:37:19.500 And then in 1963, we won our our freedom from from the Europeans. 1.00

00:37:25.700 And I was like, oh, cool. 0.99

00:37:27.020 And immediately I think, no, the fuck you didn't, because I'm looking around here. 0.99

00:37:31.000 There's no you think you you think you beat like you think you beat Great Britain? 1.00

00:37:34.940 No, you think you won.

00:37:38.180 You're here.

00:37:38.740 You're still using their money.

00:37:40.140 You're driving on the same side of the road as I'm.

00:37:41.800 You're probably paying the queen.

00:37:43.280 Okay.

00:37:43.620 They just bitched you. 1.00

00:37:44.960 They complete.

00:37:45.360 And you think you won, which is a great part.

00:37:47.620 But really, maybe what happened was, is like, this place looks like they dropped off a bunch 0.99

00:37:51.560 of black people. 0.95

00:37:52.140 And they said, let's see how long it'll take for them to make electricity. 0.99

00:37:57.740 Australia for black people. 0.73

00:37:59.500 It's the Jamaican experiment. 0.99

00:38:01.460 And then they check back every 10 years.

00:38:02.840 And they're like, they still haven't figured out electricity. 0.97

00:38:04.940 So they put hotels there and shit like that.

00:38:07.160 But they still can't figure out like running water, even though the technology is on the 0.59

00:38:11.860 island.

00:38:12.200 It's a tremendous.

00:38:13.200 Oh, it's like it's almost like they created a simulation.

00:38:16.020 It's like Sim City almost.

00:38:18.400 Yeah.

00:38:18.780 It's down the most racist episode we've ever done.

00:38:21.100 I know.

00:38:22.000 It's not even close.

00:38:23.140 It is like that.

00:38:23.840 What is that European simulator with a black guy just running through the jungle? 0.99

00:38:26.660 That's pretty much.

00:38:30.460 You've never seen that?

00:38:31.760 It's like a mod of like Grand Theft Auto. 0.87

00:38:34.080 But it's a naked black guy. 0.99

00:38:35.660 And he's like a huge naked black guy. 1.00

00:38:37.580 And he's just running naked through the jungle doing crimes and shit. 1.00

00:38:40.100 It's great. 0.97

00:38:40.300 Can you just imagine a mod where he like starts doing Spider-Man swinging, but it's vines?

00:38:45.060 Like in New York City?

00:38:46.400 Boo-ba-boo-ba-boo-ba. 1.00

00:38:49.200 Oh, my God.

00:38:51.760 I feel like I've had to have told you guys before.

00:38:54.060 But there is a out there somewhere.

00:38:57.360 There's a legit.

00:38:58.120 But this is like GoldenEye type graphics.

00:39:01.520 There are legit like over-the-top racist video games that exist out there.

00:39:05.560 Like someone made it.

00:39:06.880 And the way I found this is because, you know, probably damn near a decade ago, one of the

00:39:11.480 people training me in like some military class, you know, teaching me some specific mechanical 0.97

00:39:15.640 bullshit. 0.92

00:39:16.660 But I remember we got a side thing where he was talking about how he legit was like used 1.00

00:39:20.060 to live next to a guy who was like a legit KKK guy. 0.99

00:39:22.640 And this dude's like a white dude, but he's like half Hispanic, but he looks white as fuck. 0.98

00:39:28.060 His last name is Martinez. 0.98

00:39:28.960 And so it's like everyone looks at him and just like sees the name.

00:39:32.020 And you're like, what? 1.00

00:39:32.820 Your white as fuck? 1.00

00:39:34.000 And but like so that kind of like is what kicked off his conversation with this guy. 1.00

00:39:37.560 And he's a funny dude. 0.98

00:39:38.260 Like he doesn't give a shit about this kind of stuff. 0.99

00:39:40.000 So like either dude was like telling him all about his race shit. 0.99

00:39:43.100 If anything, he was like, yeah, tell me more. 0.99

00:39:46.200 And he like he got like to be like close.

00:39:48.300 I guess not close, but he's like but like would hang out with him just because he was

00:39:51.480 out of curiosity.

00:39:52.380 Like what's this dude doing?

00:39:53.400 Like he was like showing him like crazy video games where it was like GoldenEye graphics. 0.92

00:39:57.320 He'd go around like shoot like Jews and black people and the Jews would do like drop shekels 1.00

00:40:02.220 and shit when they died or like stuff like that. 1.00

00:40:04.520 And like the black people would be like shit like like it was like the most over the top 1.00

00:40:08.520 racist shit you could think of. 1.00

00:40:09.780 And you're just going around. 1.00

00:40:10.560 Pew, pew, pew, pew.

00:40:12.400 So you get to the top of the mountain.

00:40:16.040 OK, yeah.

00:40:16.600 So we get to the place that we're supposed to be going to.

00:40:20.320 And this is like a tourist attraction.

00:40:22.200 Like this guy's got like tens of thousands of followers on Instagram, five star reviews.

00:40:26.600 And they're like, all right, this is it, man.

00:40:28.160 Get out.

00:40:28.800 So I get out the car and I look and immediately there's more garbage.

00:40:32.800 Like and it's not like garbage.

00:40:34.220 It's not garbage day. 0.95

00:40:35.580 Like it's just garbage on the side, like loose garbage. 0.93

00:40:37.900 There's a European simulator. 1.00

00:40:38.900 Why is it called Europe simulator with a black man in the jungle? 1.00

00:40:47.780 I think because it was during that time when there was a ton of the immigration, the illegal 1.00

00:40:53.120 immigrating.

00:40:53.620 They're pulling it out.

00:40:54.740 Yeah.

00:40:56.780 Exactly.

00:40:58.180 So immediately I noticed just like unbagged garbage.

00:41:01.260 And I think again to myself, like right away I go, wouldn't they pick this up? 0.97

00:41:05.080 Like they know white people are coming here for a tourist attraction like this. 1.00

00:41:08.200 But then I say, oh, no, no, it's all clown shit. 1.00

00:41:10.640 It's all clown shit. 1.00

00:41:11.280 The whole country is just clown shit. 1.00

00:41:13.340 The garbage. 1.00

00:41:14.080 So I'm like, okay, it's like you're, you're there. 0.98

00:41:15.820 Like, what are you going to do?

00:41:16.860 You're going to leave?

00:41:16.980 Can't they just toss it off?

00:41:17.980 Yeah, you're paying $400 a night.

00:41:20.340 Like, can't they just toss the garbage off the mountain though?

00:41:24.100 They could do, they can put it in a bag at least.

00:41:26.220 I mean, so here's the crazy part.

00:41:28.200 They can't do anything.

00:41:29.140 You, you misunderstand their capacity, Toge.

00:41:31.960 So I get down and it's not like everyone's busy.

00:41:34.260 I go down and they're like, oh, go, go down these like really like shady steps.

00:41:38.500 To this landing.

00:41:39.580 And I look down, there's like 17 Jamaican guys there.

00:41:42.620 Like just all like, look like the European simulator dudes.

00:41:45.720 And they're just sitting around, they're smoking, they're drinking.

00:41:48.240 And I'm like, you know, I'm like, what's going on?

00:41:51.580 And they go, yeah, yeah.

00:41:53.040 The, the bamboo, the bamboo tour.

00:41:55.680 We're not going to do that.

00:41:57.400 And I was like, why not?

00:41:59.380 And they go, what's out too fast, man?

00:42:01.680 Oh, that's another thing.

00:42:02.400 They have a, they have a water company and it's called Wata W-A-T-A. 1.00

00:42:05.640 It's just like, it's all clown shit. 1.00

00:42:07.000 It's just how they pronounce it. 1.00

00:42:08.820 It's Wata, man. 0.99

00:42:10.160 It's Wata. 0.98

00:42:11.160 And I'm like, this is fucking, I stopped at, at some point, like right around this point, 0.99

00:42:15.520 I stopped, I stopped. 0.99

00:42:16.620 How do you realize this?

00:42:16.880 This is the shitta. 0.82

00:42:17.860 Wata, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, the bottles, just all this brown liquid in it.

00:42:23.300 My wife is like, she's, she's looking at me constantly. 0.79

00:42:26.440 Like, what's it like every time something weird happens, she looks at me and like, I

00:42:29.960 just started saying, I like, she'll say, what's that? 1.00

00:42:31.600 And I just say, clown shit. 1.00

00:42:32.580 It's all clown shit. 1.00

00:42:33.720 Like I like, I just. 1.00

00:42:34.680 About day, day two or three, you just snap.

00:42:37.420 And in the GC, it was highly obvious that you had lost your mind.

00:42:40.800 I do want to say, can you bring up Copernicus, he said, what are the black, or Copernicus,

00:42:46.020 sorry.

00:42:46.940 Copernicus.

00:42:47.460 What are the black, Copernicus?

00:42:50.840 Copernicus, what's up, Copernicus? 0.99

00:42:52.600 What did the blacks drop when they died? 0.98

00:42:55.160 All of the goods that they stole from you. 0.99

00:42:56.900 So.

00:42:59.880 I didn't realize I lost my broad sword.

00:43:05.780 So I left.

00:43:06.940 So anyway, I leave.

00:43:07.820 I, I, I tell, they, they tell me that, that like, whatever you paid for, about half of

00:43:12.720 this is like $250.

00:43:14.440 You're not, you're not doing it.

00:43:16.040 And they just tell you like, straight up.

00:43:17.500 They're like, we're not doing it, man. 0.98

00:43:19.360 So I was like, so what the fuck are we doing then? 0.98

00:43:21.440 Cause everyone just standing around. 1.00

00:43:23.120 And they're like, then, then at some point they're like, oh shit. 0.99

00:43:25.740 Like this guy's not like regular white people. 0.99

00:43:27.480 He's going to like ask me questions.

00:43:28.920 So now he starts doing. 1.00

00:43:30.240 You fucked up. 1.00

00:43:31.360 Yeah. 1.00

00:43:31.560 Yeah.

00:43:31.680 So I'm like, so.

00:43:32.500 He starts dancing.

00:43:34.480 Yeah. 0.99

00:43:34.800 So I just said, yeah, I'm like, so what the fuck are we going to? 0.99

00:43:40.200 I said, what the fuck are we going to do then? 0.98

00:43:41.460 Cause you have my money now and we're not doing what you told me. 0.98

00:43:44.000 And the guy starts going, oh, okay. 0.99

00:43:45.820 And he's doing now his like massive shit. 1.00

00:43:47.600 Show me his teeth. 1.00

00:43:48.340 And he's like, he says, go, go.

00:43:50.580 Why don't you, why don't you go on the boat and go on the, on the raft.

00:43:53.540 And I look in the water and the water is very fast.

00:43:55.920 And I was like, oh, and all the rafts are crashed up onto each other now.

00:43:58.700 Cause the water is too fast. 0.98

00:43:59.600 The crazy shit is they knew it was too fast when they sold me the tickets, but they still 0.99

00:44:03.300 sold them anyway. 1.00

00:44:03.860 Cause it's, it's clown shit and everybody's scheming. 1.00

00:44:06.760 Everyone's fucking scheming. 1.00

00:44:07.900 It's crazy. 0.99

00:44:09.460 When I was at, when I was at Marley's funeral, like exactly what you're describing top, there's

00:44:15.500 all the tourists.

00:44:16.960 And then there's just 20 ne'er do wells. 0.99

00:44:20.400 Like there's just 20 dudes that look like they're fucking waiting to sell drugs, beat 1.00

00:44:27.120 you up, fuck your wife, something like they're just not there. 1.00

00:44:29.600 They're for anything positive, but they're, but they're smiley as fuck. 1.00

00:44:32.660 And you're like, I have no idea what vibe I'm dealing with. 0.99

00:44:35.040 Like you look dangerous, but you're super fucking happy and every, every Jamaican person 0.98

00:44:42.280 I met was so fucking cool. 0.98

00:44:44.360 Like real nice. 0.97

00:44:45.560 Like even the ones in these sketchy places, that's what I'm saying.

00:44:48.180 I can't get a read it.

00:44:49.060 I don't know what's happening.

00:44:50.500 Yeah.

00:44:50.660 Everything they're doing is like, I'm like, you're moving weird for me, man. 1.00

00:44:53.080 You're like, I don't like this shit. 0.99

00:44:54.060 Like you're moving a little too quick. 1.00

00:44:55.220 Yeah.

00:44:55.400 So why are you shucking and jiving, but you look like you have a knife.

00:44:57.940 Like, I don't know what's happening.

00:44:58.760 Are they smiling just because the hue of their teeth is way different than the hue of

00:45:03.660 their skin?

00:45:04.100 No, they're genuinely happy, but like, there's just this vibe that like, they want to steal

00:45:08.340 my wallet.

00:45:09.020 And I don't mean that.

00:45:09.740 Like when I see a normal black person, sorry. 1.00

00:45:12.620 I'm not saying to me.

00:45:13.160 But they don't want to steal your wallet by gunpoint.

00:45:14.980 They don't have guns. 0.95

00:45:15.800 So they just like trick you into, they're like, they're, they're like carnies of the black 1.00

00:45:20.320 world. 0.98

00:45:20.720 No, no.

00:45:21.000 They're carnies.

00:45:21.620 They're like carnies of the Caribbean.

00:45:24.140 Carnies of the Caribbean.

00:45:24.900 That's the episode.

00:45:26.500 That's the name of the episode.

00:45:27.340 You got it.

00:45:29.500 That's what it is. 0.99

00:45:30.160 So I'm, I'm still figuring out what the fuck Jamaica is. 1.00

00:45:32.640 What's going on. 0.99

00:45:33.200 Right.

00:45:33.460 So he tells me, uh, he says, go sit on the bamboo raft, man.

00:45:36.160 And I say, I don't really want to do that.

00:45:38.060 And as we covered a couple of episodes ago, if you asked me anything three times, then

00:45:41.640 I'm going to say, yes, he asked me two more times.

00:45:44.180 And the third time he goes, come on, sit on the bamboo raft, take some pictures.

00:45:47.180 It's nice, man.

00:45:47.840 So I'm like, okay, you asked me three times.

00:45:50.400 So I go, and then I sit on the raft and I think I have, I have a picture of that Dickie

00:45:54.280 could pull up.

00:45:54.980 So I'm sitting on the raft, but as I, as I'm walking to the raft, I noticed is a fat, like 0.99

00:46:00.240 real fat black woman, probably from the resort. 1.00

00:46:02.220 I'm at the underboob check, right? 0.99

00:46:04.480 No, this is another one.

00:46:06.020 They're all over the place.

00:46:07.160 Oh, underboob check.

00:46:08.240 Jesus Christ.

00:46:08.660 There I am on the raft.

00:46:10.100 So right behind this guy, look at this dude in the back.

00:46:12.940 Just this dude jump off.

00:46:14.220 Dude, he's in shape.

00:46:15.160 Riffed.

00:46:15.720 Yeah.

00:46:15.960 Look, can you zoom out real quick?

00:46:17.660 Cause there's a bridge.

00:46:19.100 There's a bridge here.

00:46:21.020 You see that bridge?

00:46:22.840 Looks just like the raft.

00:46:24.780 Yeah.

00:46:25.420 It looks exactly like the raft.

00:46:28.220 All the same materials.

00:46:30.920 All right.

00:46:31.060 What about it?

00:46:31.860 Oh, I think top went down.

00:46:33.060 Oh, no. 1.00

00:46:36.460 Son of a bitch bastard. 1.00

00:46:38.100 All right. 1.00

00:46:38.480 Hey, let's do mailbag real quick. 0.75

00:46:41.620 Yeah.

00:46:41.880 Let's get some mailbags in. 0.94

00:46:44.120 Top will be back.

00:46:45.380 No.

00:46:45.960 Oh, that was a fun Jamaica story.

00:46:49.680 All right.

00:46:51.420 Well, yeah, he'll be back.

00:46:52.800 It's a lot.

00:46:53.360 A lot of material here.

00:46:54.380 And we, we, we're going to have to carry over some of the stuff that we want to talk about

00:46:57.600 at the next episode.

00:46:58.580 Probably.

00:46:59.060 There's too much gold.

00:47:00.480 The biggest question I have after having been to Jamaica twice, both times, because my

00:47:04.600 mom wanted to go. 0.77

00:47:05.240 Why does Lewis go every year?

00:47:08.620 It's like, to feel better about himself.

00:47:10.500 See, this is, this was my thought process as well.

00:47:12.660 It was like, it's the only place that Lewis can go where the average IQ is lower than his

00:47:16.780 own.

00:47:16.880 Now, here's the thing.

00:47:18.220 Is there.

00:47:19.300 I'm trying not to get signed.

00:47:20.420 Who's, who's, who's, who's, who's lower than the Puerto Ricans? 1.00

00:47:23.140 No, no.

00:47:23.920 But, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but,

00:47:25.180 for real though, is there a difference between private resorts?

00:47:28.640 Not necessarily all inclusive resorts, but like private, like I'm going to get a hut

00:47:33.920 on the beach, just me and, because I feel like that's where he goes.

00:47:37.720 I don't know if that's the thing.

00:47:38.220 Is there a difference to that?

00:47:39.460 Because at that point it's just like a.

00:47:41.180 He's an all inclusive resort, dude.

00:47:42.860 He just.

00:47:43.040 Oh, okay.

00:47:43.380 Then nevermind. 1.00

00:47:43.780 He just gets like a fucking super dope, like penthouse at the resort. 1.00

00:47:47.520 Oh, okay. 1.00

00:47:48.060 That's what it is.

00:47:49.380 We can't hear you now.

00:47:50.360 Top.

00:47:50.720 Yeah.

00:47:51.000 What's going on, man?

00:47:52.280 You're.

00:47:53.020 Yeah.

00:47:53.480 We can't.

00:47:53.780 It's all good.

00:47:54.220 Top.

00:47:54.440 Just.

00:47:55.060 You can figure it out.

00:47:55.680 We're going to answer a couple of mailbags.

00:47:56.940 We'll do some mailbag.

00:47:57.780 And then we'll finish your foot rub thing.

00:48:01.900 Dickie, we're ready.

00:48:03.300 All right.

00:48:03.860 So Ted asks when.

00:48:06.420 And I'm reading this exactly.

00:48:08.340 When the best opportunity to get drunk with the gang.

00:48:12.520 When.

00:48:14.460 You're already drunk with us, brother.

00:48:16.440 Yeah.

00:48:16.740 I don't drink right now.

00:48:17.780 You get drunk in my presence.

00:48:18.840 Yeah.

00:48:19.000 I feel drunk hearing that question.

00:48:20.580 Every Wednesday night at 915 or 911. 0.94

00:48:23.040 I mean, you had an opportunity when we did fucking Top Lobster Ranch, but we're going to do 0.59

00:48:27.220 something again in the future. 0.78

00:48:27.980 Yeah.

00:48:28.120 Look, if you want to hang out with us.

00:48:29.500 Yeah.

00:48:29.900 We got a.

00:48:30.860 We got this eventually.

00:48:32.380 We got the Dave show.

00:48:34.140 What?

00:48:34.740 Tampa.

00:48:35.780 The 19th or something like that.

00:48:37.100 That weekend.

00:48:37.720 I don't know exactly what day we're going on.

00:48:38.740 April 19th.

00:48:39.760 Yeah.

00:48:40.420 May 19th.

00:48:40.960 In June, I'm going to be at Pork Fest.

00:48:43.380 And I assume Reed is also going to be there.

00:48:45.260 So you can hang out with the two of us.

00:48:46.760 But anyways, we'll be in like a couple of weeks.

00:48:50.360 What is it?

00:48:51.400 Yeah.

00:48:51.600 Like a couple of weeks.

00:48:52.820 The Saturday night.

00:48:53.740 The Saturday night comedy show for Dave Smith in Tampa.

00:48:55.900 So look it up.

00:48:56.820 Comedy Dave Smith dot com.

00:48:57.680 Anytime we are usually together at some sort of event, it is like, this isn't like tooting

00:49:03.840 my own, our own horn, but it is like the life of the party where we're at.

00:49:07.740 I mean, am I wrong?

00:49:09.380 Am I wrong?

00:49:09.560 We're going to make this the tower gang show as opposed to whatever Dave is trying to do.

00:49:14.100 Yeah.

00:49:14.560 Yeah.

00:49:14.740 Yeah.

00:49:14.860 You're good.

00:49:15.200 You're good.

00:49:15.580 We go to any libertarian event and it's a tower gang event.

00:49:18.200 That's how it works.

00:49:18.860 It really, it's kind of, it's, it's like surreal because like wherever we're at, a lot of 0.65

00:49:25.200 people, like the cool people, let's not like pretend like it's going to, it's not fucking 0.85

00:49:28.300 like weirdos that are joining, weirdo libertarians that are joining us.

00:49:32.680 Sometimes we're a friend. 0.99

00:49:34.120 All the big titty bitches. 1.00

00:49:35.600 They've just come running up. 1.00

00:49:36.360 What was it?

00:49:36.520 A week or two ago that we all met up or me, Clint, Top, which we, us three will be at that

00:49:41.980 thing in a couple of weeks, but me, Clint, Top, and then I think, uh, what, Josie showed

00:49:46.800 up as well.

00:49:48.060 Uh, we also hung out with foe and Jack and I walk in, I walk in immediately and Clint, 0.99

00:50:00.640 Clint's such a dick. 0.83

00:50:01.420 He doesn't tell me that like, they're going to be there. 1.00

00:50:02.940 So I'm like, not even mentally prepared.

00:50:04.640 I didn't think you'd have, I didn't think you have such impulse control that I had to

00:50:07.500 warn you that another person was going to be there.

00:50:09.300 Oh no, I'm not.

00:50:09.880 But I didn't though.

00:50:10.740 Right.

00:50:10.900 I acted nice.

00:50:12.100 I just, so I walk in, I didn't act nice at all.

00:50:15.640 And, and I see, I see Clint, I say, Oh, what's up?

00:50:18.300 And I come to the table where all these other like weirdos are hanging out.

00:50:21.440 And immediately I see this metrosexual across the table and he looks at me like, he goes

00:50:26.240 like this, he goes, and I look at him and I go, top in his head's going future Crowder,

00:50:34.120 future Crowder.

00:50:37.180 But like, like there was like an understanding of like, like, yo. 1.00

00:50:41.300 Fuck you. 1.00

00:50:42.180 And he was still like, he's still like, fuck me. 1.00

00:50:44.000 But since he was like, fuck me, I was like, fuck you. 1.00

00:50:46.300 No, I don't even have an issue with him. 1.00

00:50:48.180 I know.

00:50:48.640 I really like the guy.

00:50:50.180 Every time, every time I've met them, they've been super nice to me.

00:50:53.960 No, they're awesome.

00:50:54.980 They're very nice.

00:50:55.880 Yeah, yeah, same.

00:50:56.720 Top is the instigator.

00:50:59.520 Well, maybe not the instigator.

00:51:00.400 No, I'm not.

00:51:01.580 I wasn't.

00:51:02.200 Dude, you literally that day, I don't even know what you said, but you're like, look at this

00:51:05.400 fact.

00:51:05.660 And then you see him that day.

00:51:09.400 Hell yeah.

00:51:09.760 It was serendipitous. 0.98

00:51:13.480 He put up some shit about like, he did a drawing of all like the famous Austrian economics 0.99

00:51:17.980 and he drew them like entering the gates of heaven. 1.00

00:51:20.260 Some like real weird blasphemous shit. 1.00

00:51:22.280 And I just said, I just said, look at this faggotry or something. 1.00

00:51:24.860 I don't remember what I said. 1.00

00:51:26.040 Or I said the author, the author of this book is a huge faggot. 1.00

00:51:29.080 And I'm not wrong. 1.00

00:51:30.400 He is.

00:51:30.580 But the initial beef, the initial beef started, Jose, was I like the meme.

00:51:36.020 Yeah.

00:51:36.180 And then he decided to come in my DMs.

00:51:38.580 Extended my like you instigator.

00:51:40.240 But you're like, you're still keeping it going.

00:51:42.300 And you're like, no, because then he, then he insulted my kitchen table.

00:51:47.160 And, and yeah, and that's why I drew the line.

00:51:51.340 Oh yeah.

00:51:51.980 Yes.

00:51:52.440 You know what?

00:51:53.100 You're bringing me back.

00:51:54.640 You're bringing me back. 0.99

00:51:55.980 I remember all the petty shit. 0.99

00:51:57.040 What an absolutely arbitrary line to draw. 0.99

00:52:01.060 You installed my kitchen table.

00:52:02.700 Well, it was, it was, it literally was the weirdest thing.

00:52:05.240 It was like, look at this table.

00:52:06.040 Dude's poor.

00:52:06.600 I'm about to pull all your man cards though, right now, because if anybody here on this

00:52:15.080 chat or in this, whatever, watching this show says they don't have a problem with the 1.00

00:52:18.600 philosopher and Jack, you're fucking liars because they, they made you, they made you 1.00

00:52:24.480 listen to Tom Woods house. 1.00

00:52:25.640 Okay.

00:52:26.120 And everybody's just going to act like that's okay. 1.00

00:52:28.880 This guy, this guy was a huge faggot. 1.00

00:52:32.880 He was a huge faggot. 1.00

00:52:34.380 He tried to tell me that I'm not allowed to like a meme and I was still nice to him. 1.00

00:52:38.060 And then he went further and tried to act like I was an idiot.

00:52:40.900 And I said, I did the math and I said, Oh, you just gave me the perfect out. 0.98

00:52:45.480 So I was like, you know what? 1.00

00:52:46.740 You and your wife's music suck. 1.00

00:52:48.940 And I'm so glad I like nobody else is saying this shit. 1.00

00:52:52.820 Look, look, everyone's laughing. 1.00

00:52:55.340 You're laughing because it's true. 1.00

00:52:56.880 It's garbage music. 0.99

00:52:58.140 They didn't even try. 0.99

00:52:59.540 As a matter of fact, I respect him more.

00:53:01.320 If he told me that he was just trolling us.

00:53:03.200 It's the equivalent of this show in relation to comedy, because we have this nice production

00:53:07.720 value that top is provided.

00:53:09.360 And then just like everything else is like, what's going on here?

00:53:11.800 You know?

00:53:13.140 No, no.

00:53:13.780 It's the equivalent in this show in that, in that when they watch that stuff, they laugh.

00:53:18.000 Okay.

00:53:18.360 They laugh at us because we're funny. 1.00

00:53:19.780 And they laugh at that because it's fucking ridiculous. 0.99

00:53:22.340 Whatever. 0.99

00:53:22.800 He gave me.

00:53:23.900 They laugh with us and at them.

00:53:25.780 Yes.

00:53:26.080 He gave me the bridge to just be like, oh, my word.

00:53:28.900 I've been waiting his entire life to say that.

00:53:30.800 Yeah.

00:53:31.160 I'm finally cooler than someone.

00:53:35.940 Oh, boy.

00:53:37.440 See, look.

00:53:37.820 There you go.

00:53:38.220 Thank you.

00:53:38.900 Look, I'm just saying what everybody else thinks.

00:53:41.560 So there you go.

00:53:42.820 This is why everyone loves you.

00:53:43.820 Keep going.

00:53:44.220 Word up.

00:53:44.640 Here we go.

00:53:45.180 I mean, just keep on sounding off.

00:53:46.440 Who hates Jack?

00:53:47.540 I mean, hate is a strong word.

00:53:49.900 It's one of those things, careful what you wish for, which is kind of what I was getting

00:53:52.920 with with his autism.

00:53:54.340 He just, like, gets himself.

00:53:55.700 Like, I just can't understand someone being in such an insanely glass house and being like,

00:54:01.340 you know what? 1.00

00:54:01.700 I'm going to fuck with this dude who is renowned for just fucking up houses. 1.00

00:54:09.360 I'm just, I'm like the European simulator dude just walking. 1.00

00:54:15.480 You live in a glass house and you want to talk shit to a wrecking ball? 1.00

00:54:19.200 Are you fucking, are you ready for that, Smoke? 1.00

00:54:21.220 I don't think you're ready for that, Smoke. 1.00

00:54:22.220 Glass Tom Woods' house.

00:54:23.000 Glass Tom Woods' house.

00:54:26.040 All right.

00:54:26.780 Next, next mailbag.

00:54:27.900 No, what were you saying about the, there in Orlando or Miami, wherever you were, when

00:54:33.360 you were there, besides, like, was it, were you the last part of the show?

00:54:35.540 That was it?

00:54:36.020 All right.

00:54:36.240 So, yo, so I go, I take, I take Jose and Top Out to show them the vet and they, they're

00:54:41.960 leaving.

00:54:42.520 So they walk out and they literally come over and just like shake my hand or give me a hug or something.

00:54:47.240 And, and they don't even make eye contact with Top. 1.00

00:54:50.100 Like, they're so afraid of this motherfucker. 1.00

00:54:51.780 Oh yeah, yeah. 1.00

00:54:52.620 I forgot about that. 0.99

00:54:53.100 They're just like, the fuck out, dude. 0.98

00:54:54.860 It's so funny. 0.99

00:54:55.460 No, no.

00:54:55.960 One of the guys.

00:54:56.820 We're the gang, man.

00:54:57.740 One of the dudes I came up to.

00:54:58.900 I'm sorry.

00:54:59.180 I just remembered the chick who came up and the, you gotta think of a vet, a sports car 0.99

00:55:02.580 being so low.

00:55:03.180 Yeah.

00:55:03.420 And she's like right here.

00:55:04.520 And they're like, titties are kind of hanging out. 0.92

00:55:05.780 And she's just sitting there talking to you. 1.00

00:55:06.740 I just remember looking over and just being like, I know from his view, he's just like, 0.96

00:55:10.240 titties. 1.00

00:55:10.580 Wait, who is this shit? 1.00

00:55:13.740 I don't remember her name. 0.99

00:55:16.040 I don't think I ever knew her name, but go on.

00:55:17.520 Those people.

00:55:18.440 It was.

00:55:19.120 And you know what?

00:55:19.700 Oh, no, no, no.

00:55:20.040 That was the other girl. 1.00

00:55:20.820 Anyways, go ahead.

00:55:21.620 These are still our people. 0.96

00:55:22.600 So I'm not going to shit on them, but this is also a tower gang. 1.00

00:55:24.660 So I'm going to shit on them. 1.00

00:55:25.700 They all came up to us. 1.00

00:55:27.040 Like, like we're all talking at this table and they go, like they sit and they wait instead

00:55:31.360 of like, like if, if you're about to leave and my boys over here or someone I know, I just

00:55:34.500 tap you on the show.

00:55:35.040 Be like, yo man, thanks for, I'll see you later, bro.

00:55:36.900 Great to see you.

00:55:38.080 And then I leave or I don't say anything at all.

00:55:40.580 Wait, to be acknowledged.

00:55:41.980 And then like Josie like announces them and they're like, excuse me, somebody's here for

00:55:45.820 you.

00:55:46.060 It was like two or three people.

00:55:47.560 And they keep on.

00:55:48.800 No, it was like, it was like 10 people.

00:55:50.960 It was like 12 people talk.

00:55:52.860 It was like 40 people. 1.00

00:55:55.620 It was just, it was just Jack and fuck. 1.00

00:55:57.980 You're included in that bitch. 1.00

00:56:00.820 So they all go, they all go and they like, they like bow to Clint and they do all this 1.00

00:56:04.660 weird Asian shit. 1.00

00:56:06.220 And Clint's like, he, Clint's like, he's eating his shit and he's like, you know, go. 1.00

00:56:09.540 Yes. 1.00

00:56:09.980 Yes.

00:56:10.120 Go be with your people.

00:56:12.700 And so, and then one of the guys, can I, can I pay my tithing, sir?

00:56:16.360 And I'm like, yes, thank you.

00:56:17.780 So you could pick up my tab. 0.98

00:56:18.760 Now get the fuck out of my eyesight. 0.99

00:56:20.520 Thank you. 0.98

00:56:21.020 Yes.

00:56:21.280 And one of the guys, they were there for Clint.

00:56:24.640 They ignored Josie.

00:56:25.920 And one of the guys says to Clint, Clint says to one of the guys, he was like, oh, you're

00:56:30.040 a tower gang fan.

00:56:30.860 Tell him how you like tower gang.

00:56:32.060 Tell him right now.

00:56:32.780 And the guy goes, he's like a little nervous.

00:56:34.940 And he's like, oh, I love tower gang.

00:56:36.520 And then he goes, oh, I'm a, right.

00:56:38.440 Am I wrong, Jose?

00:56:39.520 And he goes, tell him how you like tower gang.

00:56:41.560 Oh, I like tower gang.

00:56:43.520 Oh, top.

00:56:44.300 He's like, top.

00:56:44.860 I'm a big fan.

00:56:46.040 Top, top.

00:56:46.840 And I was like, yeah, my, my nigga, what's up? 0.66

00:56:48.940 I gave him a power gang. 0.99

00:56:52.940 But I'm like, yo, dude, like if you're watching this shit, like just be like, yo, I seen your 0.99

00:56:57.360 show or don't say anything at all. 0.99

00:56:58.560 Like, but like, it was just weird.

00:56:59.840 Like they showed me the top of his head.

00:57:01.580 I was like, I don't know what's going on here.

00:57:03.760 They were like, he's, I mean, he's slightly exaggerating, but it's basically like that.

00:57:09.680 Look, let's just be honest.

00:57:11.020 Our audience is essentially a bunch of artists.

00:57:13.300 So like, this is what you deal with.

00:57:15.020 Anywhere I go, I have a whole bunch of artists that gather around.

00:57:17.360 But the problem is, they go like, yes, sir.

00:57:19.480 Yes.

00:57:19.900 Correct.

00:57:21.220 I probably did the same thing to like the people.

00:57:23.980 Like if when I met Dave or like, I did the same thing of like, we acknowledge, like, don't

00:57:28.420 like it.

00:57:28.900 I did the first, the first few times.

00:57:33.500 And the last time I saw Dave at Skanks, I was like, what's up, Dave?

00:57:36.580 Like, okay.

00:57:37.260 Like we're done.

00:57:38.360 It's not that I'm not, I'm not on the same level as you, but it's just like, okay, you're

00:57:41.500 never going to respect me if I do like, oh, you're not going to, you're never going to

00:57:46.920 remember me.

00:57:47.420 If I'm in my sports car, okay. 0.99

00:57:49.560 If I'm sitting in my sports car, showing my boy, the fucking bow surround sound system 1.00

00:57:53.560 and all the primary colors on this bitch. 1.00

00:57:55.540 You don't walk up, you don't walk up to me. 1.00

00:57:59.740 Yo guys, for real, for real.

00:58:03.660 He has the sickest car.

00:58:05.360 And I'm so glad you showed me this car because I like me and my wife laughed the whole time

00:58:10.000 flying to Jamaica.

00:58:11.300 Cause I was like, I'm explaining it to her.

00:58:13.120 I'm like, yo, it's like, it's a Ferrari, right?

00:58:15.660 It's a Corvette.

00:58:17.460 I'm not a car, dude.

00:58:18.600 It's a Corvette. 0.99

00:58:19.460 It's this thing is slick as shit. 0.99

00:58:21.120 It looks like it flies in space and it has, it's like, I'm trying to remember. 0.99

00:58:25.960 So it's like black with this like beautiful powder blue.

00:58:28.920 And then Clinton was like, he's going through a midlife crisis.

00:58:31.300 So he was like, he told the guy, he's like, you know what?

00:58:33.040 I always wanted mustard, yellow racing stripes.

00:58:35.280 And the guy was like, why?

00:58:36.760 He's like, that's just, that's what I want.

00:58:39.180 Put it on there.

00:58:40.360 So the guy's like, all right, fine.

00:58:41.900 So he puts these like two racing stripes on like that.

00:58:44.360 Don't make no sense.

00:58:45.340 And then, and Clint's like, yo, you got to check out the interior.

00:58:48.240 Interior is dope.

00:58:48.880 So I was like, all right, cool.

00:58:49.540 And he opened it, like the, the cockpit of like, it's basically, that's what it feels

00:58:57.480 like.

00:58:57.620 It's a fighter pilot.

00:58:58.400 The driver's seat has this like console on the right side that has like all this.

00:59:02.800 It's for real feels like a cockpit.

00:59:04.320 It's crazy.

00:59:05.240 Yeah.

00:59:05.560 It's insane.

00:59:06.000 It's crazy.

00:59:06.460 I love cars like that though.

00:59:07.900 You're like, you're like, you're locked in.

00:59:09.240 It's a driver's car.

00:59:09.960 Yeah.

00:59:10.280 It's a driver's car.

00:59:11.200 What I, what, what shocked me about the car was that.

00:59:13.420 So, like I said, you got powder blue on the outside with this like, like slick black

00:59:17.400 and then this yellow.

00:59:18.660 Okay.

00:59:19.020 And then you open up the door and, and it's like, the seats are like beautiful leather.

00:59:24.320 And I'm like, that's red leather.

00:59:25.760 It's like, it was almost like, it was almost like he, he said, I want the inside of the

00:59:30.800 car to look like a different car from the outside of the car.

00:59:33.560 And the guy was like, you said that?

00:59:35.840 No, no, no.

00:59:36.260 I, I, I picked it on the internet. 0.98

00:59:37.640 I got to pick out all the, all the colors and shit. 0.99

00:59:40.200 Someone's audio is fucked up. 0.99

00:59:41.300 That's me again. 0.95

00:59:41.840 This is, I don't know what, I'm going to have to buy a new preamp.

00:59:44.260 What's funny is like, you, you know, you can get, this car is like 60 grand.

00:59:48.080 You know that, right?

00:59:49.140 No, it's a hundred.

00:59:50.440 But I was going to say, it's definitely more than that.

00:59:52.320 The base, the base model is 60 grand MSRP, which is, it is, it is, it's getting a base

01:00:00.120 model.

01:00:00.640 You got the racing stripe upgrade.

01:00:02.040 Okay.

01:00:03.460 No, I mean, that's most of the, the upgrades are, you know, decorative.

01:00:07.800 They're not performance.

01:00:08.620 Cause, but I, I did get the, uh, updated, uh, brake pads.

01:00:11.960 Like I got, it's the, I got the, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, you can get this car as

01:00:17.620 well.

01:00:18.000 Like he went to the, he went to the buffet.

01:00:19.860 No, I'm not saying that it's out of reach.

01:00:21.580 It's just like, I respect Clint so much more.

01:00:24.300 Cause he went to the buffet and he said, I'm having chicken nuggets.

01:00:27.840 I'm having pancakes.

01:00:29.200 I'm having steak.

01:00:30.180 And I'm just going to put ice cream, ice cream on top of it too.

01:00:32.820 And just ate it all.

01:00:34.120 Cause that's, that's, you know why?

01:00:35.700 Cause that's what I want.

01:00:37.040 Okay.

01:00:37.800 That's the kind of assertiveness that we need as president of the United States.

01:00:42.100 I got to ask you something real quick at that meeting, like meetup we had or whatever.

01:00:51.020 Did you guys notice at the table next to us, there was like a dude that was like glaring

01:00:54.740 at us most of the time.

01:00:56.200 Yeah.

01:00:56.440 I don't think he came with that group.

01:00:58.120 Like, I think it was just some outside.

01:00:59.660 It was all the N words you were dropping.

01:01:01.320 Yeah.

01:01:01.420 I did say the N word like five times. 0.85

01:01:02.860 I kept forgetting he was there with like his black girl. 1.00

01:01:04.920 Well, Josie was, Josie was also, dude, I was like, I don't give a fuck. 0.99

01:01:08.560 She was sitting next to us and she was talking about how like, she's in some kind of like 0.98

01:01:12.100 deep underground chat because now Elon Musk followed. 1.00

01:01:14.560 We were talking about shit that normal people don't understand. 0.99

01:01:17.720 They probably don't even have Twitter. 1.00

01:01:18.880 So they're like, what the fuck are these people talking about? 0.99

01:01:21.040 Well, I mean, it was that mixed with a tremendous amount of racism. 1.00

01:01:23.980 So like, I can understand this dude sitting there with his black, his black girlfriend 1.00

01:01:26.780 or wife or whatever. 0.70

01:01:27.400 And he's like, yo, this is pre-Jamaica racism too.

01:01:30.620 Yeah.

01:01:30.860 Yeah.

01:01:31.200 You ever see somebody in public with Twitter open and you're just like, I wonder if they've 1.00

01:01:35.860 ever seen like my shit. 0.99

01:01:38.080 Like, I don't know this person from Adam. 0.99

01:01:41.180 And like, they just have Twitter open and you're just like, one, you never see people

01:01:45.240 with Twitter.

01:01:45.780 I don't know what it is.

01:01:46.660 Like, just have it open on it.

01:01:48.540 I always think maybe Instagram or YouTube, never Twitter in public.

01:01:52.320 But the second thing I think is like, what are they just like, what group chats they're

01:01:55.980 in?

01:01:56.460 Because if you're on Twitter, you're probably in a group chat.

01:01:58.520 Yeah.

01:01:58.740 They could, they could be like an Anon that we actually know.

01:02:01.360 Yeah.

01:02:01.740 Like, you know, like you have no clue.

01:02:03.740 I cannot even comprehend this.

01:02:06.320 Cause like, this reminds me of a, okay.

01:02:08.920 In our, in our, not in this, our target group chat, but we have another one with like all

01:02:12.360 the, like the fans or just like what kind of started the beginnings of tower gang is

01:02:16.460 this group of people.

01:02:17.300 The one I left a long time ago.

01:02:18.480 Yeah.

01:02:19.120 There was a long time where we, we've had different variations of the name of the group

01:02:22.560 chat. 0.92

01:02:22.880 At one point it was a glow nigger social club. 1.00

01:02:25.280 Many times. 0.51

01:02:26.580 That was my favorite.

01:02:27.660 Cause I just think it's hilarious.

01:02:28.620 Uh, but very hard to open up in public.

01:02:31.420 Yeah.

01:02:32.840 Terrible.

01:02:33.400 Open up public.

01:02:35.020 This problem.

01:02:35.860 Like, who are you really worried about looking at your phone?

01:02:38.620 Like, I don't know.

01:02:39.240 I open my phone.

01:02:40.060 And I don't know.

01:02:41.160 Like who, who does that?

01:02:44.060 Who's like looking at their phone for what I don't, maybe I just have awful vision.

01:02:47.020 I just, it's not a thing that even crossed my mind.

01:02:49.140 I'm never packed in with people that much or I'm like, Oh no, they're going to see my

01:02:52.520 phone.

01:02:53.020 I always am.

01:02:54.580 Yeah.

01:02:54.940 You want me to pull up?

01:02:55.620 Yeah.

01:02:55.780 I'm on the subway.

01:02:57.540 And yeah, surrounded by black people. 0.81

01:02:59.360 Oh, what is that chat? 0.99

01:03:00.340 You're in complain about that. 1.00

01:03:02.360 I just like, wow, you must have an awful life that you can't have a group chat with nigger 1.00

01:03:05.460 in it. 0.99

01:03:07.560 Except there's no, no, none of them are actually allowed.

01:03:10.400 Yeah.

01:03:10.580 That's just the name.

01:03:11.240 Yeah. 0.94

01:03:11.340 We don't allow niggers in our group chat, but we, I meant, I meant the name is what I meant. 0.98

01:03:15.700 Oh my God. 0.95

01:03:16.740 Next, you guys know that Josie's got 50,000 more followers than Dave.

01:03:22.280 Wild, man.

01:03:23.460 That's so trippy.

01:03:24.520 She's a woman. 0.82

01:03:26.640 A woman has only 50,000 more than Dave. 1.00

01:03:28.960 Oh, that's a good point.

01:03:29.820 I mean, like, come on.

01:03:30.980 Like, she's.

01:03:31.800 No, that's fair.

01:03:32.920 Good job, Dave.

01:03:34.040 You're killing it, bro.

01:03:35.180 Yeah. 0.99

01:03:35.300 He is.

01:03:36.160 Ginger gender swap, Dave. 1.00

01:03:37.620 I just realized that.

01:03:39.940 Wow.

01:03:41.380 Interesting.

01:03:41.860 Somebody, somebody run that. 1.00

01:03:42.800 I think we have literally quantified the boost you get for having a vagina. 1.00

01:03:48.980 Maybe some of that could be ginger. 0.99

01:03:50.560 I don't know.

01:03:53.120 You know, let me, let me finish this, uh, this story because I feel like we're like getting

01:03:57.760 like late.

01:03:58.300 Oh, yeah.

01:03:59.460 Yeah.

01:03:59.620 So the guy, he lets us know we're not going to be going on bamboo raft, sit on the bamboo

01:04:03.900 raft. 0.98

01:04:04.720 Um, I noticed a fat black lady there. 1.00

01:04:07.700 Uh, one of the guys that's supposed to be driving the raft is now, uh, he's taking mud 0.94

01:04:12.320 or they, they said it's limestone, but it's probably just mud.

01:04:14.560 And he's giving this lady a full body sensual massage rub with this mud. 1.00

01:04:18.880 And then he, he washes her off and her husband's sitting on another bamboo raft and he's recording. 1.00

01:04:24.080 This is all clown shit. 1.00

01:04:24.980 Again, he's recording his wife. 1.00

01:04:27.260 Yeah.

01:04:27.780 That was what they were doing. 0.91

01:04:29.000 So, uh, and, and this guy's just in this, in his wife's, in his wife's butt cheeks, just 1.00

01:04:33.220 bouncing them and doing shit. 0.99

01:04:34.600 And the husband's like, yeah, get in there. 0.99

01:04:36.020 Yeah.

01:04:36.980 No.

01:04:37.960 And swear to God, recording it.

01:04:39.220 My wife turns to me.

01:04:40.100 She's like, what's going on? 1.00

01:04:40.840 It's just clown shit. 1.00

01:04:41.840 It's all clown shit. 1.00

01:04:43.000 Holy shit. 1.00

01:04:43.600 They're cops. 1.00

01:04:43.920 Dude, that's the strangest thing.

01:04:46.260 But now everybody's there.

01:04:47.420 They're twerking.

01:04:48.240 They're asking.

01:04:48.820 Then they say, they say to me, he goes, you want some rum, man?

01:04:52.100 You look bored.

01:04:52.700 Drink some rum.

01:04:53.300 And I was like, no, thanks.

01:04:54.640 Then he says, come on, drink some rum.

01:04:56.240 And I said, no, no, thanks.

01:04:57.140 He goes, come on, man.

01:04:58.080 It's easy.

01:04:58.560 Drink some rum three times.

01:04:59.760 And I said, okay, fine.

01:05:01.960 So he, then he goes, I'll get you some rum.

01:05:04.720 $20.

01:05:05.740 Yeah.

01:05:06.780 So I, I paid for the rum. 1.00

01:05:08.680 Motherfucker, dude. 1.00

01:05:09.440 He climbed down from a tree. 1.00

01:05:11.200 Ridiculous, by the way. 0.97

01:05:12.540 Yeah. 0.98

01:05:12.940 He, he goes up somewhere and then climbs down from a tree and gives me like the hottest

01:05:17.160 rum I've ever tasted.

01:05:18.140 So now I'm drinking this rum from God knows where sitting on this raft. 0.98

01:05:21.780 No, it's garbage. 0.93

01:05:22.480 It's hot. 0.99

01:05:22.900 It's like the same temperature as your mouth.

01:05:25.440 It's a hundred degrees.

01:05:27.000 And they don't have any electricity.

01:05:28.440 So of course they just keeping it between their legs.

01:05:32.860 So then, then the guy goes, uh, okay, man, uh, I'm going to get you a foot rub. 1.00

01:05:38.380 You want a foot rub?

01:05:39.060 And I say, absolutely not.

01:05:40.820 Don't want a foot rub.

01:05:41.700 And he says two more times.

01:05:43.320 Oh no.

01:05:44.100 I'm going to get you.

01:05:44.840 I'm going to get you a foot rub. 0.67

01:05:46.800 And I'm like, okay, fine.

01:05:48.020 So he brings down these two ladies, one old, one really young.

01:05:51.580 And he says, they're going to rub your feet.

01:05:54.400 And then you're going to, you're going to tip them.

01:05:56.640 He doesn't say, you know, you should, he says, you're going to.

01:06:00.520 And I said, okay, fine.

01:06:02.120 They rub my feet with this mud.

01:06:04.020 Keep in mind, my wife has like open weeping sores on her legs. 1.00

01:06:07.900 Right. 0.99

01:06:08.400 So they're now they're like massaging us and putting all this shit on, like on the around 0.99

01:06:13.640 it. 0.98

01:06:13.840 They're trying to do around the sores, but not really because rubbing mud into them, rubbing

01:06:18.000 mud into the sores.

01:06:18.900 And I'm looking around and I'm seeing the houses there and I'm noticing, ah, no plumbing

01:06:23.900 in these houses.

01:06:25.240 They're just shacks, all these shacks. 1.00

01:06:27.740 And I'm like, oh no, they shit. 1.00

01:06:30.680 They shit right in this river. 1.00

01:06:32.580 Then they take, they take a dirty rag and they wipe off the mud from your legs. 1.00

01:06:39.320 And then they put oil on it and they say, then they go tip. 0.99

01:06:43.300 Everything is fucking tip. 1.00

01:06:45.340 So even, even the mud has shit in it. 1.00

01:06:49.260 Yes. 0.99

01:06:49.580 So I give them a tip.

01:06:50.780 We leave the raft.

01:06:52.280 They go, you know, I feel bad since we didn't get to do the bamboo rafting.

01:06:58.040 We'll give you a tour of our neighborhood.

01:07:00.800 And right.

01:07:02.440 Anyone with like common sense says, no, thanks.

01:07:04.860 Bring me to the catamaran boat where there's some civilization. 0.99

01:07:07.900 But I say, yes, let me see how, let me see how fucking dumb this can get. 0.98

01:07:12.580 So how, how poor are you? 0.99

01:07:14.160 Let me see.

01:07:15.160 They showed me.

01:07:16.600 You walk up the mountain.

01:07:21.540 I got a tip for you. 1.00

01:07:24.480 Fucking poor bastards. 1.00

01:07:25.680 Stop shitting in your drinking water. 1.00

01:07:28.300 It's, it's, it's a wild way to be. 0.99

01:07:30.160 It's a beautiful river, but it's brown.

01:07:31.600 And now I know why. 1.00

01:07:32.540 Cause they shit right in the river. 0.99

01:07:33.940 So we walk up the mountain some more on the left. 0.99

01:07:37.120 There's like this.

01:07:39.200 Yeah, no, for real.

01:07:42.560 Well, I kept saying to my wife is like, yo, you drop off.

01:07:45.100 You drop off one white person here. 0.98

01:07:47.900 And like this Island would just be like fucking shape up because they have 1.00

01:07:50.900 everything. 0.98

01:07:51.300 They have all the resources, but they just can't put it together.

01:07:53.480 Like they, they're completely poor, but they could really,

01:07:55.840 it could be a beautiful, rich Island.

01:07:57.680 They can't figure it out.

01:07:58.780 It's like a tiny Africa. 0.99

01:08:00.160 Keep going.

01:08:00.580 It's crazy.

01:08:01.360 It's crazy.

01:08:02.440 Well, here's the thing.

01:08:03.320 It's a, it's a complete, like easy,

01:08:05.400 like comparison between Jamaica and like the Cayman islands.

01:08:09.340 And like the Cayman islands are still under British rule directly.

01:08:12.400 And the Cayman islands, I was like, where everybody goes for banking for

01:08:16.080 like, they want to go there for like vacations or illegal activities,

01:08:20.200 which is bigger, has more land.

01:08:22.580 Like they had probably have, I did a,

01:08:24.780 a cruise through the entire like BVI is the British Virgin islands.

01:08:28.600 And I, I hit like eight of them.

01:08:30.160 I'm telling you,

01:08:30.980 St. 0.99

01:08:31.540 Bart's is fucking like one of the nicest places on the planet. 0.99

01:08:35.080 It's so expensive. 0.97

01:08:36.880 All the ones that are still like owned by like Britain. 0.99

01:08:39.480 And then there's some that are owned also by the U S like the,

01:08:42.100 um, Virgin islands, the Virgin islands.

01:08:44.800 And also, I mean like the Canaries,

01:08:46.560 I believe are still owned by like Britain or somebody like that. 0.96

01:08:49.160 Basically the moral of the story is if you give independence to black 0.68

01:08:51.400 people, they never evolve. 0.97

01:08:53.680 Yeah.

01:08:54.060 They don't even try.

01:08:55.300 They don't even,

01:08:56.640 I was hoping you guys would laugh harder at that.

01:08:58.980 Now it will be like, 0.99

01:08:59.680 I love that because black people are just, 1.00

01:09:02.160 you guys are all just like, yeah. 0.90

01:09:03.660 Uh-huh.

01:09:03.860 Yeah.

01:09:04.260 This is supposed to be like a comedy show,

01:09:07.420 but like, like,

01:09:08.020 this is more of like a regular podcast where we're just telling information. 0.98

01:09:11.300 We're just like doing like race realism shit. 0.97

01:09:13.880 And everyone's like, 0.99

01:09:14.480 mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

01:09:15.720 Well, like go anywhere in the Caribbean,

01:09:17.280 like think about Haiti or,

01:09:19.120 um,

01:09:20.520 uh,

01:09:21.060 was it standard?

01:09:22.520 The Dominican Republic.

01:09:23.740 Dominican Republic.

01:09:24.560 The same island.

01:09:24.840 The same island.

01:09:26.140 Rikers Island.

01:09:27.300 Hispanoa.

01:09:28.080 I didn't know.

01:09:30.060 Like,

01:09:30.620 I think Guatemala, 1.00

01:09:31.960 isn't that another one that's also like probably pretty fucked up 0.99

01:09:34.600 because they, 0.99

01:09:35.400 uh,

01:09:35.740 did they try to,

01:09:36.520 I'd assume so.

01:09:38.000 No,

01:09:38.260 that's not.

01:09:38.380 Guatemala is in Central America.

01:09:40.120 Yeah,

01:09:40.400 that's what they,

01:09:40.800 no,

01:09:41.080 Haiti,

01:09:41.520 Haiti. 1.00

01:09:42.340 Fucked. 1.00

01:09:42.920 What's the one that the U.S. invaded, 1.00

01:09:44.500 uh,

01:09:45.000 in the 80s?

01:09:45.340 Oh,

01:09:45.500 that's,

01:09:45.820 you're gonna have to narrow it down,

01:09:46.820 dude.

01:09:48.140 Nicaragua.

01:09:48.880 No,

01:09:49.120 no,

01:09:49.220 no,

01:09:49.340 no,

01:09:49.460 the islands.

01:09:50.520 The one that we,

01:09:51.220 uh,

01:09:51.580 invaded in the island.

01:09:52.180 Sorry,

01:09:54.700 yeah,

01:09:54.880 it's true.

01:09:55.700 I think Haiti,

01:09:57.200 Jamaica, 0.99

01:09:57.760 I think there's a bunch that we fucked up. 0.98

01:09:59.360 Yeah, 0.90

01:09:59.720 the whole,

01:10:00.400 the whole area,

01:10:01.320 yeah.

01:10:02.220 Whatever.

01:10:02.480 Yeah.

01:10:03.340 Yeah.

01:10:03.680 So we're walking up the,

01:10:05.300 the mountain again to the left is like a barbed wire fence.

01:10:09.120 And there's like a hundred Jamaican dudes back there playing dominoes and drinking. 0.74

01:10:13.820 Granada.

01:10:14.100 Yeah,

01:10:14.200 right.

01:10:14.620 Yep.

01:10:14.860 Granada.

01:10:15.200 I never even heard of Granada.

01:10:16.440 Yeah.

01:10:16.580 We invaded it in like the eighties.

01:10:18.520 That's right.

01:10:19.260 Yeah.

01:10:19.360 No reason.

01:10:20.360 They're in like a little shack and the shack says it has like a neon sign that says bar,

01:10:27.880 but there's no electricity.

01:10:29.080 So it's not lit up.

01:10:30.220 And we walk by and they all stop like national geographic and they look at us and we just

01:10:34.940 walk by like it's complete silence and we keep going.

01:10:38.000 There's more like little sheds on the other side.

01:10:40.120 And he goes,

01:10:40.520 this is the finest,

01:10:41.600 uh,

01:10:42.440 hair salon in this neighborhood.

01:10:44.820 And I said,

01:10:45.500 yeah,

01:10:46.040 in the shack is like five people.

01:10:47.540 There's a newborn baby.

01:10:48.460 There's no lights.

01:10:49.580 Everyone's just in there sweating and they're like braiding hair.

01:10:51.760 I'm like,

01:10:52.080 oh my God, 1.00

01:10:52.700 this is fucking crazy shit. 1.00

01:10:54.800 So we continue up the island. 1.00

01:10:56.020 We're going to see a waterfall,

01:10:56.900 which is actually nice.

01:10:57.940 And the guy tells me,

01:10:58.820 he's like,

01:10:59.360 you know,

01:10:59.780 a lot of people think that Jamaicans are violent or like, 1.00

01:11:03.640 we want to kill you and rob you, 1.00

01:11:05.200 but we would never kill you and rob you because you're the ones who pay us. 1.00

01:11:09.620 And I go, 0.94

01:11:10.860 wow.

01:11:11.520 And then he's like,

01:11:12.160 yeah,

01:11:12.300 so you don't have to,

01:11:13.160 you know,

01:11:13.400 we're not going to try to murder you or anything.

01:11:15.220 And I was like,

01:11:15.780 you know what I said?

01:11:16.380 I told him,

01:11:17.060 I said, 0.99

01:11:17.240 if you murdered me right now, 0.99

01:11:18.400 you'd be doing me a favor. 0.99

01:11:19.800 And the guy,

01:11:20.420 he looked at me,

01:11:22.300 he was like,

01:11:22.580 so whatever they go up, 1.00

01:11:28.700 he shows us the fucking waterfall. 1.00

01:11:30.080 Come back down. 1.00

01:11:30.680 He asked for a tip.

01:11:31.360 I give him a tip.

01:11:32.620 We do more.

01:11:33.320 All I'm learning from this is Top has realized the entire scam,

01:11:39.140 but he's still the easiest mark because he still does everything they say.

01:11:43.540 Like he does it.

01:11:44.900 No,

01:11:45.180 no,

01:11:45.280 no.

01:11:46.000 I went up that hill out of pure curiosity because,

01:11:49.480 oh yeah,

01:11:49.700 on the way back down, 1.00

01:11:50.960 this motherfucker had the nerve to show us this yellow house with bars on the 1.00

01:11:53.880 window. 1.00

01:11:54.220 And he said,

01:11:55.040 that's our Airbnb.

01:11:56.280 So next time you stay at Jamaica, 1.00

01:11:57.600 you can stay here.

01:11:58.280 And he gave me a brochure and I was like, 1.00

01:11:59.700 are you out of your fucking mind? 1.00

01:12:01.580 It sounds like a jail. 1.00

01:12:02.700 They saved the paper.

01:12:04.580 It's the windows.

01:12:05.260 There's like shaking them at night.

01:12:07.400 And he goes,

01:12:08.120 no,

01:12:08.300 next time,

01:12:08.720 please stay here.

01:12:09.380 And Top's like,

01:12:09.720 no.

01:12:09.900 And he's going to next time,

01:12:10.540 please stay here.

01:12:11.100 And Top's like,

01:12:11.620 no.

01:12:12.200 And he's like,

01:12:12.680 all right,

01:12:12.960 I'll stay there next time.

01:12:14.880 Yeah,

01:12:17.220 he smoked,

01:12:17.660 he said.

01:12:18.040 But hey,

01:12:18.380 yo,

01:12:18.560 my,

01:12:18.740 my favorite part,

01:12:19.660 my favorite part of this entire story,

01:12:22.880 and this is the part that Top hasn't said,

01:12:24.680 but it's quite crystal clear,

01:12:26.080 is that very,

01:12:27.340 very much his decision making is predicated on like,

01:12:30.200 how can I have the best story when I get back on

01:12:32.620 Tower Gang?

01:12:33.040 Because I feel like that's why you're doing half of what you're doing.

01:12:35.340 Yeah,

01:12:35.620 I would have said like,

01:12:36.960 if I wasn't,

01:12:37.540 if I wasn't like doing anything where I was talking to people,

01:12:40.200 I would have said,

01:12:40.920 I'm not even going on an excursion.

01:12:42.620 I'm not going to Jamaica.

01:12:44.080 We can go to Aruba.

01:12:45.480 What are you talking about?

01:12:46.260 Aruba's beautiful.

01:12:47.180 That's why I'm out there throwing myself in front of cars.

01:12:49.580 It's all for the show.

01:12:50.360 These Mexican cruises are the best.

01:12:53.920 You go and like Mexico is still really nice.

01:12:56.540 And like everything I've heard about like Mexican cruises or Mexican all 0.93

01:12:59.320 inclusive resorts are amazing.

01:13:01.140 Like,

01:13:01.240 yeah,

01:13:01.360 they're nice.

01:13:02.240 They're done. 0.84

01:13:02.680 There's hardly any blacks.

01:13:05.200 And like, 0.87

01:13:06.140 like it's not rum.

01:13:08.080 It's tequila.

01:13:08.860 So you're having way more fun.

01:13:10.160 It's delicious.

01:13:11.680 Margaritas are amazing.

01:13:12.980 And like,

01:13:13.260 they have electricity.

01:13:14.080 They have electricity.

01:13:14.780 They do.

01:13:15.200 They're very,

01:13:16.020 very nice.

01:13:16.420 And all the Mexican, 0.96

01:13:18.200 they're,

01:13:18.520 they're paid like nothing.

01:13:19.600 So it's still really cheap.

01:13:21.140 Like it's way better than any like.

01:13:23.520 They have an actual cuisine.

01:13:25.060 So listen to this.

01:13:26.500 It's great.

01:13:27.520 So now this driver,

01:13:29.080 this driver now brings us to the catamaran cruise and we go on the cruise.

01:13:33.500 Like two boats park right next to each other.

01:13:36.000 We,

01:13:36.520 I go over one boat and they're like,

01:13:38.440 you're on the second boat.

01:13:39.380 So we're the first people on because we're like whiter.

01:13:41.660 So we're on time.

01:13:43.120 Everybody that shows up,

01:13:44.520 it's like,

01:13:45.260 it's like the,

01:13:45.680 it's like the hotel of St. 0.99

01:13:46.660 And it's like fucking Brownsville again. 0.98

01:13:47.920 Everyone shows up. 1.00

01:13:48.600 There's the most ghetto black people. 0.94

01:13:51.060 And I'm like, 1.00

01:13:51.660 God fucking damn it. 0.99

01:13:52.940 Like I thought like a cruise, 1.00

01:13:54.680 like we're paying a lot of money for a cruise.

01:13:56.760 I'm like,

01:13:56.880 I thought this is going to be like,

01:13:58.340 you know,

01:13:59.660 civilized.

01:14:00.380 No,

01:14:00.780 the first boat was full of white people. 0.97

01:14:03.620 They put me on the black people boat. 0.84

01:14:07.100 They're playing music.

01:14:08.640 They were going.

01:14:09.780 I don't even care anymore.

01:14:12.840 They're playing music that I don't even recognize.

01:14:14.600 And the thing too,

01:14:15.420 is like the reason I'm being this overtly racist is because the black people are looking at me and my wife,

01:14:20.380 the same way I'm looking at them.

01:14:21.800 Like, 0.99

01:14:22.100 what the fuck are you doing here? 0.99

01:14:23.800 Like, 1.00

01:14:24.060 I don't belong there.

01:14:25.260 I paid to be there.

01:14:26.400 And I'm looking at them.

01:14:27.420 Like,

01:14:27.580 you could easily pass for mixed if you wanted to.

01:14:31.060 And they're still looking at you.

01:14:32.200 Like,

01:14:32.400 I guess,

01:14:32.760 because I mean,

01:14:33.240 they're like eight shades darker than you or something.

01:14:35.680 Yes.

01:14:36.240 Yeah.

01:14:36.440 Well,

01:14:36.540 he's thinking they're thinking that he's like a member of the Latin Kings,

01:14:39.860 probably.

01:14:40.640 Right.

01:14:40.920 Yeah.

01:14:41.400 Well,

01:14:41.600 he kind of is.

01:14:42.100 Rival gang.

01:14:44.040 So there.

01:14:45.120 Yeah.

01:14:45.340 Yeah.

01:14:45.640 I'd be pissed.

01:14:46.220 I was kind of pissed.

01:14:47.340 Whatever.

01:14:48.000 They're just twerking the whole time.

01:14:49.540 Then,

01:14:49.860 then we do like a,

01:14:50.860 we do a stop where you do a snorkel.

01:14:52.820 None of them get off the boat because none of them could swim.

01:14:54.780 They're all freaking out.

01:14:55.560 It's, 0.99

01:14:55.680 it's a clown. 1.00

01:14:56.220 It's clown shit really. 1.00

01:14:57.320 And then, 1.00

01:14:57.920 then they bring us to a restaurant.

01:14:59.500 Right.

01:15:00.220 And,

01:15:00.500 and it's a,

01:15:01.020 it's a Margaritaville.

01:15:02.160 So Jimmy Buffett,

01:15:02.960 we entered through a cave because it's,

01:15:06.020 because it's Jamaica.

01:15:07.300 Margaritaville is the best.

01:15:08.560 Everybody knows.

01:15:09.920 Yes.

01:15:10.600 The nicest.

01:15:12.020 The nicest on the Island.

01:15:13.340 We entered through a cave.

01:15:14.340 We go upstairs.

01:15:15.600 We go sit at the bar.

01:15:17.720 My wife orders a $15 tacos.

01:15:20.600 I give him $20.

01:15:21.560 The guy takes $20,

01:15:22.780 never comes back.

01:15:24.020 Yeah.

01:15:24.180 So that's it.

01:15:25.060 He just took his tip.

01:15:26.080 He didn't even ask.

01:15:27.080 Behind us is an impromptu twerk contest.

01:15:29.740 And these girls are just twerking, 1.00

01:15:31.340 doing the most vile shit. 1.00

01:15:32.560 Like I seen like this girl's vagina come out. 1.00

01:15:35.180 It was just, 1.00

01:15:35.520 it was disgusting.

01:15:36.700 It's just disgusting.

01:15:37.620 But like,

01:15:37.940 we're watching now and we're like,

01:15:39.580 we're like that lady that's like observing the monkeys and like such interesting behavior. 1.00

01:15:43.260 We're just like looking at like all the shit that's going on. 0.99

01:15:46.980 Top lobsters, 0.99

01:15:48.020 David Attenborough.

01:15:49.040 This becomes an anthropological study.

01:15:52.180 Yeah. 1.00

01:15:53.460 Next time I'm bringing my notebook and my fucking binoculars. 1.00

01:15:56.380 You start sketching them. 1.00

01:15:57.400 Wait,

01:15:57.420 wait,

01:15:57.740 Top.

01:15:58.020 I actually said that last week.

01:15:58.840 You mentioned that they,

01:16:00.360 almost everywhere you've gone,

01:16:01.300 you've mentioned that they start twerking.

01:16:02.540 Is that,

01:16:02.920 are you like exaggerating or did they literally just like,

01:16:05.520 there was nothing just happening and they're just like,

01:16:07.560 all right.

01:16:07.920 Like I said,

01:16:08.960 at check-in,

01:16:09.720 no music.

01:16:10.520 It's like hotel music.

01:16:11.540 Bing,

01:16:11.980 boom, 1.00

01:16:12.140 like fucking jazz. 1.00

01:16:13.180 And this bitch just starts, 1.00

01:16:14.280 bam, 1.00

01:16:14.580 bam,

01:16:15.020 bam. 1.00

01:16:15.440 And like her ass, 1.00

01:16:16.260 she's individually twerking. 1.00

01:16:17.300 I'm like,

01:16:17.540 what is this?

01:16:18.400 What's going on?

01:16:19.240 Everybody's twerking all day.

01:16:20.960 Look at Jose. 1.00

01:16:21.500 You fucking weirdo. 1.00

01:16:22.820 Oh, 1.00

01:16:23.180 it's not even.

01:16:24.620 Yeah.

01:16:25.260 The military moment was,

01:16:26.600 I mean,

01:16:27.120 it was a year ago.

01:16:28.060 Jose and I liked the sound of this.

01:16:29.920 By a year.

01:16:30.640 So we're in the restaurant.

01:16:35.800 We're going to leave.

01:16:36.620 Pull up,

01:16:36.960 pull up the picture of the guy on still sticky.

01:16:39.120 I sent it in the chat.

01:16:40.440 Oh yeah.

01:16:41.000 Yeah.

01:16:41.220 I forgot about this.

01:16:42.360 So we're leaving and you're going down the stairs again.

01:16:46.640 This guy here,

01:16:47.420 he says,

01:16:47.980 take a picture,

01:16:48.900 man.

01:16:49.160 And I say,

01:16:49.780 no.

01:16:50.720 And he goes,

01:16:51.400 come on.

01:16:51.940 And I'm like,

01:16:52.380 no,

01:16:52.780 thanks.

01:16:53.480 He goes,

01:16:53.740 come on.

01:16:54.100 It's easy.

01:16:55.020 They say it's easy.

01:16:56.160 And I was like,

01:16:56.500 I guess it would be easy.

01:16:57.640 So I take out my phone and I go,

01:17:00.220 and I take a selfie.

01:17:01.740 I'm like,

01:17:02.040 oh,

01:17:02.200 cool.

01:17:02.480 And I go to walk away and he grabs me and he goes tip.

01:17:05.020 And he asked me for a tip.

01:17:06.260 So I'm like, 1.00

01:17:06.760 mother fuck. 1.00

01:17:07.380 So I give him a tip and then I leave. 1.00

01:17:09.720 And every fucking time, 0.99

01:17:10.940 everyone, 0.99

01:17:11.380 everyone that you talk to in this Island,

01:17:13.320 all it is,

01:17:13.960 New York,

01:17:15.180 dude,

01:17:15.700 you know,

01:17:16.160 this happens on New York. 1.00

01:17:17.620 They do the same shit on the street. 0.99

01:17:20.160 Top was all about getting material for the show. 0.99

01:17:22.640 I appreciate the sacrifice.

01:17:24.140 It's different though.

01:17:24.940 It's different because you're on an Island filled with these people.

01:17:28.260 And it's like in New York,

01:17:29.140 somebody gives me a CD.

01:17:30.520 I throw it on the ground.

01:17:31.820 And then I'm like, 1.00

01:17:32.520 fuck you. 1.00

01:17:34.560 If I do that here, 1.00

01:17:36.940 I have to fight this guy.

01:17:38.600 And he's eight feet tall.

01:17:40.020 Look at him.

01:17:40.400 He's on.

01:17:41.920 And there's no police.

01:17:43.380 So like you're on your own.

01:17:44.560 There's no police.

01:17:45.060 I got to fight his friends.

01:17:46.440 Who are his friends?

01:17:47.340 Everybody on this Island.

01:17:48.220 I don't know.

01:17:48.840 So I'm like,

01:17:49.280 when they ask you for a tip,

01:17:50.940 it's not that they're asking you.

01:17:52.000 They're just like,

01:17:52.520 yo,

01:17:52.740 give me money.

01:17:53.340 And you just like,

01:17:54.400 fine.

01:17:54.960 And you just give him money and you just got to keep going.

01:17:58.800 So we get back on the boat,

01:18:00.880 more twerking,

01:18:01.540 more twerking, 1.00

01:18:01.980 more ass. 1.00

01:18:03.020 It's disgusting. 1.00

01:18:04.100 We get off the boat and this is the end of the excursion.

01:18:07.280 Our cab driver just doesn't show back up.

01:18:09.080 I call him.

01:18:09.520 I say,

01:18:09.800 where are you?

01:18:10.240 He says,

01:18:10.500 I'm not coming back.

01:18:11.460 So we're just now we're stuck in the sun is setting.

01:18:15.340 We're stuck.

01:18:15.980 So I'm like,

01:18:16.400 I'm like panicking.

01:18:17.140 Cause I'm like,

01:18:17.500 I'm with my wife.

01:18:18.100 I don't know what to do.

01:18:18.920 I don't know a cab company.

01:18:20.300 We ended up getting in like a bus,

01:18:21.880 like how you described a lot of white people on it.

01:18:24.820 The guy gave him us,

01:18:25.520 gave us a ride.

01:18:26.740 Oh,

01:18:27.140 that was the bus that I was probably on. 0.98

01:18:29.940 That's fucking hilarious too. 0.98

01:18:31.320 He gave us a ride. 0.99

01:18:32.440 We got back to the hotel.

01:18:34.060 I gave that guy a tip and we're back in.

01:18:36.960 That was,

01:18:37.300 that was the only tip that was earned that entire trip.

01:18:39.560 You know,

01:18:39.760 how many,

01:18:40.140 how many days were you there?

01:18:42.160 Four days,

01:18:42.760 three or four.

01:18:43.560 It sounds like a,

01:18:44.260 it sounds like a four day hostage situation.

01:18:47.140 You're just constantly paying ransoms.

01:18:50.680 No,

01:18:50.880 no,

01:18:51.060 no.

01:18:51.700 He's literally,

01:18:52.440 it's like a mob.

01:18:53.160 He's paying for protection service.

01:18:54.600 They're like tips,

01:18:55.300 but this tip is just like,

01:18:56.820 that's right. 1.00

01:18:57.360 You give me money or I kill you. 1.00

01:18:59.060 You want to breathe, 1.00

01:19:00.160 man.

01:19:00.540 You want to breathe,

01:19:01.320 man.

01:19:02.020 I'll like,

01:19:02.480 I'll give you entertainment,

01:19:04.880 what I'll call entertainment.

01:19:06.160 And then you give me money and I'll just say,

01:19:08.260 you have to go to bra.

01:19:09.640 Yeah,

01:19:09.800 exactly.

01:19:10.020 It's their culture.

01:19:10.740 Yeah.

01:19:11.100 And then that's when I realized I put it together.

01:19:13.500 It is their culture.

01:19:14.280 Tipping is there.

01:19:14.980 It's like,

01:19:15.260 they're real big on tipping.

01:19:16.320 Like they,

01:19:16.640 they ask their family members for tips when their family visits.

01:19:19.680 So the family doesn't even visit them.

01:19:21.020 I seen people in the resort.

01:19:22.160 They're like,

01:19:22.640 yo,

01:19:22.760 I'm from here.

01:19:23.640 I don't visit my family.

01:19:24.760 The family.

01:19:26.340 You don't mess with the family.

01:19:27.940 Jesus.

01:19:28.700 It's that.

01:19:29.200 Yeah.

01:19:29.540 Do we have any other mailbag questions?

01:19:31.420 Yeah,

01:19:31.600 we do.

01:19:32.060 Yeah.

01:19:32.200 Yeah.

01:19:32.320 Let's do that.

01:19:32.700 Let's do that.

01:19:35.140 All right.

01:19:36.260 So monsters,

01:19:37.720 whoever that is asks, 0.88

01:19:39.100 if you had to fake your own death,

01:19:40.680 how would you do it?

01:19:41.700 And what would your new life be?

01:19:44.460 I'm going to move to Jamaica.

01:19:46.640 I'm going to be the richest man on Jamaica.

01:19:51.300 I'll make 30 grand a year.

01:19:52.980 And I will.

01:19:54.700 I mean, 0.99

01:19:55.400 to fake your own death. 1.00

01:19:56.540 I feel like you need another body. 0.99

01:19:58.180 And that's just a whole other bunch of work.

01:20:00.280 And you get another body.

01:20:01.940 No,

01:20:02.340 no,

01:20:02.560 you can't really sell.

01:20:04.420 I mean,

01:20:04.540 other than just disappearing.

01:20:05.660 Yeah.

01:20:06.380 You can do it here.

01:20:07.280 Create a death certificate.

01:20:08.600 Fishing accidents.

01:20:09.580 You can do whatever.

01:20:10.340 Yeah.

01:20:10.560 Like,

01:20:11.460 I went out on a boat into the Gulf,

01:20:14.600 and then I went fishing.

01:20:16.080 Bad storm.

01:20:17.380 Cole's no longer here.

01:20:18.380 But now you need a second boat

01:20:20.140 to somehow bring a boat out.

01:20:21.900 What do you need a second boat for?

01:20:23.620 Because you had to have gone out on a boat initially,

01:20:27.080 so there has to be some sort of proof.

01:20:28.000 Why not just be like,

01:20:29.500 move, 0.99

01:20:29.900 take the boat wherever the fuck you want. 0.99

01:20:31.700 Just go. 0.99

01:20:32.240 I have a very extravagant attitude.

01:20:33.740 Push it in the water.

01:20:35.460 The most badass would be

01:20:36.820 D.B. Cooper.

01:20:38.500 Do what he did.

01:20:40.220 Rob a bank,

01:20:40.840 and then jump out.

01:20:41.460 No,

01:20:41.820 no,

01:20:41.860 no,

01:20:41.960 no,

01:20:42.300 no.

01:20:42.380 And then jump out?

01:20:43.080 No,

01:20:43.280 he hijacked a plane,

01:20:44.680 demanded like millions of dollars

01:20:46.060 from the government,

01:20:47.260 jumped out of the plane,

01:20:48.540 and disappeared,

01:20:49.340 and I think he survived.

01:20:50.620 I have a better answer.

01:20:52.280 I am going to join.

01:20:53.320 It's not faking your death, though.

01:20:54.120 It kind of is.

01:20:55.400 I am going to fake mine.

01:20:56.300 I joined the Foreign Legion in Ukraine,

01:20:58.380 which obviously I would be signaling

01:21:00.460 to my audience

01:21:01.680 that this is a nonsense story,

01:21:03.700 but I want the government

01:21:04.360 to think that it's legitimate.

01:21:05.440 So I go there to fight

01:21:06.600 on behalf of Ukraine.

01:21:07.540 I then join Azov Battalion.

01:21:09.840 I then fake my death

01:21:11.060 because obviously

01:21:11.920 I go into the trenches,

01:21:12.960 I die right away,

01:21:13.620 but in fact,

01:21:14.400 I just throw some random Ukrainian 1.00

01:21:16.500 in there because I look like them.

01:21:18.080 And then I go to,

01:21:19.400 I migrate to Poland. 0.68

01:21:21.580 I join the Nazi movement there. 0.87

01:21:23.740 I find a smoke show Polak.

01:21:25.640 I marry her, 1.00

01:21:26.360 have a fucking thousand kids. 1.00

01:21:28.480 That's my plan. 1.00

01:21:29.860 Yeah,

01:21:29.980 that's actually not a bad plan.

01:21:31.160 That's actually smart.

01:21:32.320 Like getting involved in foreign wars.

01:21:34.260 Exactly.

01:21:34.880 Because that's easy.

01:21:36.360 There's the fog of war.

01:21:37.860 No one will ever figure it out.

01:21:39.320 Yeah,

01:21:39.480 I mean, 0.99

01:21:39.740 you could just try to kill a dude 0.99

01:21:40.740 and more like, 0.99

01:21:41.600 that's not like,

01:21:42.420 not someone you're supposed to kill 0.99

01:21:43.520 and no one's going to give a shit. 1.00

01:21:44.560 I'll just take the vaccine. 0.99

01:21:45.200 I would do that as much as possible.

01:21:46.660 Yeah, 1.00

01:21:46.820 just shoot your dudes in the back. 1.00

01:21:48.200 I'll just take the vaccine 1.00

01:21:48.360 and then just be like,

01:21:50.040 yeah,

01:21:50.220 he died of a heart attack.

01:21:52.500 That's me.

01:21:53.020 That's me in Poland. 0.99

01:21:54.060 You just have to put some fucking 0.99

01:21:55.220 little dime piece Polak next to me. 1.00

01:21:56.960 Exactly.

01:21:57.720 Same thing.

01:21:59.200 For me,

01:21:59.700 if I would fake my own death,

01:22:02.400 what I would do,

01:22:04.020 first I have to do a couple of things

01:22:05.160 in like my life now.

01:22:05.980 So I would become like a basketball player

01:22:08.060 or something.

01:22:08.500 I would,

01:22:08.720 I would,

01:22:09.040 I would like set the record

01:22:09.860 for the most points scored all time

01:22:12.020 in the NBA.

01:22:12.920 Then I would go on a helicopter,

01:22:15.460 but there would be an identical helicopter

01:22:17.660 right next to mine.

01:22:18.340 Mine would go one way.

01:22:19.400 I'd be going to Jamaica 0.80

01:22:20.480 and the helicopter that you think

01:22:23.000 I'm on with you.

01:22:24.380 Yeah,

01:22:24.740 yeah,

01:22:24.860 yeah.

01:22:25.580 He'd swap places with Kobe Bryant.

01:22:27.780 I'd bring my,

01:22:28.240 I'd bring my daughter,

01:22:29.080 whatever.

01:22:29.840 And then,

01:22:30.340 and then the one,

01:22:31.620 the empty helicopter,

01:22:32.480 I'd crash it into a side of a mountain.

01:22:34.900 And then I'd live in Jamaica 0.97

01:22:36.000 and just,

01:22:36.360 just like write memoirs 1.00

01:22:37.860 of the clown shit 1.00

01:22:38.460 that I see there 1.00

01:22:39.000 throughout my travels.

01:22:40.000 Would you score 81 points

01:22:42.540 and win five championships too?

01:22:44.380 Yeah,

01:22:44.580 that's the hard part about it.

01:22:45.580 That's like,

01:22:45.980 there's a lot of,

01:22:46.840 a lot of things I'd have to do

01:22:48.440 before the plane crash.

01:22:49.660 No,

01:22:50.020 no,

01:22:50.160 no.

01:22:50.360 See,

01:22:50.620 here's an even easier one.

01:22:51.880 I become,

01:22:52.700 let's say the chancellor

01:22:54.640 of pop music

01:22:55.680 or something like that.

01:22:56.400 You know,

01:22:56.800 some type of thing like that.

01:22:58.420 I love little boys.

01:22:59.820 They all come over to my house

01:23:01.140 and then the heat's kind of

01:23:02.400 getting a little high.

01:23:03.620 So I just fake like a overdose death.

01:23:06.440 And then I go live

01:23:07.520 with my other boy

01:23:08.740 that got killed

01:23:09.980 in a gang attack

01:23:11.340 in Los Angeles,

01:23:13.800 Tupac or something like that.

01:23:15.800 And we all go

01:23:16.460 and with Kobe,

01:23:17.600 same,

01:23:18.140 we're all going to Jamaica.

01:23:18.900 We just live there.

01:23:19.840 That's what I would do.

01:23:20.720 So yeah.

01:23:20.980 Yeah.

01:23:21.320 That's how you get away

01:23:26.840 with having little boys 0.53

01:23:28.320 show you their buttholes.

01:23:30.440 So that's the solid plan.

01:23:32.160 Second,

01:23:32.400 strangely pedophilia oriented

01:23:34.120 comment tonight.

01:23:35.240 All right.

01:23:35.840 Yeah.

01:23:36.720 Nice. 0.98

01:23:37.840 And that's how we kill ourselves.

01:23:39.180 I still cannot believe,

01:23:40.040 Tup,

01:23:40.340 you did not get some blow

01:23:41.680 in four days in Jamaica

01:23:42.780 and just have a whole day 1.00

01:23:43.840 of fucking. 1.00

01:23:44.320 Like that would have been 1.00

01:23:45.220 retarded. 1.00

01:23:46.460 That's the move.

01:23:48.200 That's the move.

01:23:49.440 I don't think I'm afraid.

01:23:50.700 I love that Jose's still

01:23:51.560 a drug addict,

01:23:52.180 even though he says

01:23:52.740 he used to be a drug addict.

01:23:53.520 With Tup's wife having

01:23:54.740 all those sores on her legs,

01:23:56.020 I'm surprised if he even

01:23:57.180 got one,

01:23:58.080 got the bang one time.

01:23:58.920 Dude,

01:23:59.080 she gets some blow 1.00

01:23:59.700 in her fucking nose. 1.00

01:24:00.640 Not going to do shit, 1.00

01:24:01.460 but them sores. 0.99

01:24:02.960 Fair enough.

01:24:03.900 Not them sores.

01:24:05.220 Let me,

01:24:05.940 let me,

01:24:06.260 let me tell you.

01:24:06.820 So the end of this story,

01:24:08.140 we get back to the hotel,

01:24:09.220 right?

01:24:10.540 It's like,

01:24:10.960 we're tired.

01:24:11.440 I got my,

01:24:11.860 my tank top on

01:24:12.900 that you see me in

01:24:13.560 and we go right to

01:24:14.560 one of these restaurants,

01:24:15.480 right?

01:24:15.980 And we're like,

01:24:16.340 we're hungry.

01:24:16.720 We're going to eat.

01:24:17.460 We try to walk in.

01:24:18.440 The lady is like, 0.93

01:24:19.560 stop man.

01:24:20.320 You must have sleeves

01:24:21.580 to enter this establishment.

01:24:23.020 Oh my God.

01:24:23.640 And I look in

01:24:24.580 and I see a bunch 1.00

01:24:25.780 of fucking black people 1.00

01:24:27.520 with like barely clothes. 1.00

01:24:29.380 One lady has her ass 1.00

01:24:30.460 on the seats. 1.00

01:24:31.500 I could see another 0.99

01:24:32.100 lady's nipples just 1.00

01:24:33.000 the most ratchet shit. 1.00

01:24:34.580 And then I'm also thinking 1.00

01:24:35.360 about what I just saw.

01:24:36.200 I was like,

01:24:36.440 you live in tin,

01:24:37.820 like you're going to

01:24:38.360 leave this resort

01:24:39.240 and live and live 1.00

01:24:40.480 in a fucking tin hut 1.00

01:24:42.160 and you're going to 1.00

01:24:43.020 tell me I need sleeves.

01:24:45.440 So I laughed in her face 1.00

01:24:46.940 and I went back to the hotel.

01:24:47.980 I put some sleeves on 1.00

01:24:48.780 because this is clown shit. 1.00

01:24:50.120 We're in clown world. 1.00

01:24:50.740 I put sleeves on.

01:24:51.300 We went down,

01:24:51.740 we sat down,

01:24:52.160 we ate and we didn't even eat. 0.98

01:24:53.860 We just fucking cried laughing 0.97

01:24:54.900 just talking about 0.98

01:24:55.680 whatever just happened. 1.00

01:24:56.780 The most bizarre shit 1.00

01:24:57.800 in the world. 1.00

01:24:58.680 Are you ever going to go back?

01:25:00.660 I would go back,

01:25:01.960 but I would,

01:25:02.860 I would go back,

01:25:04.360 but I have to go back

01:25:05.440 with like people who,

01:25:07.680 and I'll go back

01:25:08.340 to the same resort.

01:25:08.960 Wait, the hilarity.

01:25:10.220 Oh, yes.

01:25:10.840 Tower gang. 0.99

01:25:11.800 Once you go black, 0.99

01:25:12.680 you don't go black. 0.87

01:25:14.340 Maybe somebody in the comments, 0.97

01:25:15.820 are the Bahamas better?

01:25:17.620 Is this like,

01:25:18.100 or is this like a weird

01:25:19.080 type of rivalry?

01:25:19.980 I'm going to be honest with you,

01:25:21.000 anywhere that's predominantly

01:25:22.560 not white,

01:25:25.560 kind of similar.

01:25:26.580 But I knew a bunch

01:25:27.740 of bohemians in college

01:25:28.860 and they were all like good,

01:25:30.080 pretty good dudes,

01:25:31.000 but they did.

01:25:32.020 The Jamaicans are good people too.

01:25:33.300 I'm just telling you,

01:25:33.860 the energy,

01:25:34.480 the vibe just feels dangerous.

01:25:36.720 And it's not because 0.99

01:25:37.400 they're black. 0.97

01:25:37.860 I'm telling you, 0.99

01:25:38.440 I've been around black people.

01:25:39.320 I don't feel that way. 0.99

01:25:40.500 Like crazy poor.

01:25:41.640 But yeah, 0.96

01:25:41.920 all the people in Mexico,

01:25:44.760 I mean,

01:25:45.680 they all say it's nice over there

01:25:46.940 and they're probably 1.00

01:25:47.400 still fucking poor as shit. 1.00

01:25:49.020 Oh, there's some dangerous 1.00

01:25:49.800 fucking territories 1.00

01:25:50.740 in Mexico too. 1.00

01:25:51.600 That's right.

01:25:51.860 Yeah, but like,

01:25:52.500 in Puerto Rico,

01:25:54.060 my uncle lives up a hill,

01:25:56.000 the same kind of hill

01:25:56.800 that we went up, Clint.

01:25:58.200 And he built three houses.

01:26:00.300 They have electricity

01:26:00.940 and running water

01:26:02.140 and Wi-Fi.

01:26:03.800 Not really.

01:26:04.520 It's a commonwealth, 1.00

01:26:05.220 but it's like poor as fuck. 1.00

01:26:06.240 If you went up there, 1.00

01:26:06.960 you're like,

01:26:07.220 oh, it's sketchy

01:26:08.000 and it's poor,

01:26:08.520 but it's like,

01:26:08.880 at least people are trying.

01:26:10.120 At least he's got Wi-Fi

01:26:10.980 in his house.

01:26:12.020 They're not even trying over there.

01:26:13.500 They're just like, 1.00

01:26:14.720 they're just doing clown shit all day. 1.00

01:26:16.140 I don't even think 1.00

01:26:16.600 it's a real place.

01:26:17.800 And then to top it off,

01:26:19.620 the Bob Marley thing,

01:26:20.820 does anyone know how he died?

01:26:22.820 Yeah,

01:26:23.240 cancer in his toe.

01:26:24.600 Okay.

01:26:25.420 Cancer in his toe.

01:26:27.360 You believe that?

01:26:28.460 No.

01:26:28.820 Not really.

01:26:29.660 I haven't even heard of that. 1.00

01:26:31.380 It's the dumbest shit 1.00

01:26:32.320 in the world. 1.00

01:26:33.020 Toe cancer? 1.00

01:26:33.520 What the fuck? 1.00

01:26:34.380 He died a cancer 1.00

01:26:35.300 of the toe, man. 1.00

01:26:36.580 They told me this shit. 1.00

01:26:37.940 Jamaica's fake and gay, man. 1.00

01:26:39.360 Jamaica. 1.00

01:26:40.680 It's the fakest, 1.00

01:26:42.160 dumbest shit. 1.00

01:26:43.300 And they all believe it. 1.00

01:26:44.420 I'm like,

01:26:45.040 when she told me that,

01:26:45.840 I was like,

01:26:46.120 yeah,

01:26:46.240 but how did he really die?

01:26:47.600 You're like,

01:26:47.860 probably.

01:26:48.460 No, man,

01:26:48.800 the toe.

01:26:49.440 And I'm like,

01:26:49.760 there's no.

01:26:50.000 He probably just stopped

01:26:50.680 coming out of his trap house

01:26:51.940 and that's probably it.

01:26:52.940 You know,

01:26:53.200 like,

01:26:53.480 he just,

01:26:54.000 he was it.

01:26:54.880 A lot of people think

01:26:55.560 that it's his,

01:27:00.880 his anti-war music

01:27:02.220 that the CIA took him out.

01:27:03.580 I was like,

01:27:04.240 I was like,

01:27:04.600 I don't think they're really

01:27:05.320 afraid of any Jamaicans,

01:27:06.600 dude.

01:27:07.000 If I'm being honest with you.

01:27:08.200 All right.

01:27:08.440 So to get to conspiracy top,

01:27:10.440 he was a Bob Marley,

01:27:12.900 Jimi Hendrix,

01:27:14.160 and like a couple other people

01:27:15.260 are the only music,

01:27:17.080 musical artists

01:27:17.780 that record in 432 hertz.

01:27:20.320 Oh,

01:27:20.880 yeah.

01:27:21.280 And the,

01:27:21.560 which is,

01:27:22.200 yeah.

01:27:22.560 The non-Nazi hertz. 0.75

01:27:24.060 Yes.

01:27:24.360 Yeah.

01:27:24.600 So,

01:27:24.740 so like,

01:27:25.220 yeah,

01:27:25.360 in the,

01:27:25.760 in like the early 1900s,

01:27:27.420 there's like a global meeting,

01:27:28.700 I think in Germany 0.76

01:27:29.400 and they all got together.

01:27:30.480 It was by Goebbels. 1.00

01:27:31.500 It was by fucking, 1.00

01:27:32.500 like, 1.00

01:27:32.720 or one of the top Nazis.

01:27:34.260 Guys,

01:27:34.640 we're doing 434 now.

01:27:36.380 Yeah,

01:27:36.640 no,

01:27:36.800 they decided 440 A

01:27:38.180 is the,

01:27:38.700 is the hertz

01:27:39.340 that everything will be turned,

01:27:40.980 tuned to.

01:27:41.540 So when you,

01:27:42.000 when you play an A,

01:27:42.920 like a middle A on a piano,

01:27:44.220 it's 440.

01:27:45.420 Was,

01:27:45.580 was 1448 just way too high?

01:27:47.940 Yeah,

01:27:48.280 it was,

01:27:48.520 it was too,

01:27:49.000 it was too hectic.

01:27:50.120 So yeah,

01:27:50.600 they changed that.

01:27:51.420 And there's actually health studies

01:27:52.420 by the National,

01:27:53.120 National Institute of Health,

01:27:55.340 Health says like 432

01:27:56.620 actually makes you feel better.

01:27:58.600 It has like healing effects,

01:28:00.120 like calming effects

01:28:01.040 for your heart,

01:28:01.720 cardiovascular,

01:28:02.620 like digestion, 0.99

01:28:03.340 all kinds of shit like that. 0.98

01:28:04.240 But they raise the, 0.99

01:28:05.480 the frequency by like,

01:28:07.360 just a little bit,

01:28:08.160 just,

01:28:08.580 yeah,

01:28:08.980 by eight, 1.00

01:28:09.380 just to fuck with you. 1.00

01:28:10.020 But Bob Marley was one of the people 1.00

01:28:11.580 who recorded all his records

01:28:13.180 in 432.

01:28:14.420 I do legit think that like,

01:28:15.980 there are forces out there

01:28:17.460 that will try to get to you 0.76

01:28:19.620 in one way or the other,

01:28:20.700 you know,

01:28:21.240 and like,

01:28:22.140 in relation to like music,

01:28:23.560 if you start trying to put out

01:28:24.580 too positive of stuff,

01:28:25.920 or just anything,

01:28:27.080 any sort of content creation.

01:28:28.340 Like if you're huge,

01:28:29.420 big names,

01:28:29.900 because this is where you get

01:28:30.480 the conspiracies of like Bob Marley,

01:28:33.120 Michael Jackson, 0.99

01:28:34.100 shit like that. 1.00

01:28:34.720 Cause it's like, 1.00

01:28:35.360 they were putting out like,

01:28:37.120 weirdly positive messages

01:28:38.740 that was not the common stuff

01:28:41.100 you would hear in music.

01:28:42.640 And I do think that kind of stuff

01:28:44.640 has an effect on people.

01:28:46.000 And if you're like,

01:28:46.400 actually legitimately building people up,

01:28:48.700 it's kind of like,

01:28:49.060 yo dog,

01:28:49.380 what are you doing here? 1.00

01:28:50.780 Trying to kill people. 0.99

01:28:52.260 Yeah. 0.95

01:28:53.800 Drugs, 1.00

01:28:54.340 fuck women, 1.00

01:28:54.960 kill people, 1.00

01:28:55.720 you know, 1.00

01:28:56.020 I can't, 1.00

01:28:56.460 I can't talk to this shit. 1.00

01:28:59.160 Dickie, 1.00

01:28:59.640 give us,

01:29:00.020 give us one more.

01:29:00.860 One more.

01:29:01.880 Yeah.

01:29:02.660 All right.

01:29:03.360 Ricky asks,

01:29:04.200 can we please get a,

01:29:05.620 where are they now?

01:29:06.580 Episode featuring Nick Reed,

01:29:08.860 Josh Smith, 0.84

01:29:09.540 and that gay guy with the AR. 0.98

01:29:12.420 Josh Smith has a million children 0.98

01:29:14.460 at this point.

01:29:15.120 So that's what you need to stop.

01:29:17.680 Can we,

01:29:17.920 can we like get with Josh

01:29:19.460 and be like,

01:29:19.960 can we get an intervention?

01:29:20.960 Look,

01:29:21.180 look,

01:29:21.440 honestly,

01:29:22.260 we need an intervention,

01:29:23.200 but like,

01:29:23.640 he's also offsetting

01:29:24.820 at least a half a dozen incels

01:29:26.520 in our community.

01:29:27.200 So I think,

01:29:27.620 yeah,

01:29:27.820 yeah,

01:29:28.020 exactly.

01:29:28.580 Yeah.

01:29:28.680 He has the most powerful seed imaginable.

01:29:32.980 His wife,

01:29:33.340 they just had a baby

01:29:34.480 and like,

01:29:35.080 she's going to pop another one out. 0.99

01:29:36.340 Yeah.

01:29:36.540 Yeah.

01:29:36.900 They've had like three and three.

01:29:38.600 I mean,

01:29:38.880 top has two kids.

01:29:40.040 And I think on a weekly basis, 1.00

01:29:41.560 he talks about how he wants to kill both of them. 1.00

01:29:43.660 Oh yeah. 1.00

01:29:44.160 Or at least not have them.

01:29:45.880 Reed is in New Hampshire

01:29:49.160 and is working all the time.

01:29:53.100 He's given up.

01:29:54.120 Remember,

01:29:54.520 he still has.

01:29:55.620 Reed works in the same way

01:29:57.720 that Toad thinks he works.

01:29:59.740 And so like,

01:30:00.360 Reed has actual like physical demands

01:30:02.680 to where he doesn't sleep

01:30:03.640 and stuff like that.

01:30:04.660 Right.

01:30:05.060 Toad just doesn't sleep

01:30:06.740 because he thinks he needs to do things

01:30:08.260 that don't matter.

01:30:09.220 No,

01:30:09.440 I mean,

01:30:09.720 I have four hours commuting every day

01:30:11.980 plus eight hours of work.

01:30:13.160 That's okay.

01:30:13.740 You know,

01:30:13.980 there's 24 hours.

01:30:14.880 That means there's 20 other hours.

01:30:17.080 Yes.

01:30:17.560 Reed left the gang amically.

01:30:20.260 I just said four plus eight.

01:30:22.380 So I have eight hours.

01:30:24.840 That's 12 hours.

01:30:26.000 That's half the day.

01:30:26.900 That means you have another four hours

01:30:28.600 before you need to go.

01:30:29.020 Yeah. 0.98

01:30:29.200 And I need to get shit done. 0.97

01:30:30.600 Yeah. 0.93

01:30:30.880 What are you doing?

01:30:32.040 You're lifting weights.

01:30:33.300 Yeah.

01:30:33.580 Reed's basically our pitch hitter

01:30:37.380 that hardly ever pitch hits.

01:30:40.140 So Reed is a very busy manly man.

01:30:44.820 I'm going to have an intervention

01:30:45.820 with Toad at some point

01:30:46.700 because I got on Toad.

01:30:48.180 We have an intervention

01:30:48.960 with Toad every day.

01:30:50.320 No,

01:30:50.560 I'm fine.

01:30:51.220 In the group chat,

01:30:52.940 I was like,

01:30:53.280 Toad,

01:30:53.880 if you can't get it done

01:30:55.020 in 16 hours,

01:30:55.920 it does not need to be done.

01:30:57.720 It does not matter

01:30:58.560 what else is like.

01:30:59.140 It doesn't make any sense.

01:30:59.540 Some things take a long time

01:31:00.920 to get done.

01:31:02.100 How does that not make sense?

01:31:03.900 You have to sleep, dude.

01:31:05.100 You're like,

01:31:05.620 yo, Doug,

01:31:06.320 I need to like. 0.99

01:31:07.060 This is shit content. 0.98

01:31:07.920 Who are the other people? 1.00

01:31:09.140 He's so upset.

01:31:10.460 Who's the AR guy?

01:31:12.560 Nick Ashley.

01:31:13.380 Nick Ashley was one of them.

01:31:14.820 Nick,

01:31:15.120 where is Nick now?

01:31:16.000 Nick had a baby.

01:31:16.720 I don't know. 1.00

01:31:17.220 I think he's just doing the same shit 0.99

01:31:18.760 but he has a kid now. 1.00

01:31:19.160 I couldn't give a fuck less. 0.99

01:31:20.820 I searched for him. 1.00

01:31:21.760 I searched for him.

01:31:22.480 I guess he deleted his Twitter.

01:31:24.000 Yeah,

01:31:24.160 I wonder if he's okay.

01:31:24.980 I hope he's all right.

01:31:26.480 I hope he's all right.

01:31:27.220 No problem.

01:31:28.240 The AR guy.

01:31:29.960 Magnus?

01:31:30.620 I don't know.

01:31:31.440 Oh, yeah.

01:31:31.900 Maybe.

01:31:32.480 Oh, yeah, Magnus.

01:31:33.360 I think I saw his.

01:31:35.740 I think he's back on Twitter.

01:31:36.840 He's back on Twitter.

01:31:38.060 He's not like.

01:31:39.380 I don't know.

01:31:39.900 He's kind of a boy.

01:31:41.340 All I hear about Twitter right now

01:31:42.280 is Dennis.

01:31:43.040 Dennis has been killing it.

01:31:43.880 Shout out to Dennis.

01:31:44.820 I believe Magnus blocked me 0.99

01:31:47.240 for calling Garrett Foster a faggot 0.99

01:31:49.120 even though I'm very sensitive 1.00

01:31:50.660 to the Garrett Foster show.

01:31:52.220 Honestly, 0.99

01:31:52.760 I couldn't give two fucks 1.00

01:31:54.040 about the Garrett Foster shit. 1.00

01:31:55.940 I don't even know who that is. 0.99

01:31:57.220 Why would you call him that?

01:31:58.620 Yeah.

01:31:58.980 Garrett Foster? 1.00

01:31:59.820 Anybody who doesn't like a faggot. 1.00

01:32:01.620 You. 1.00

01:32:01.900 What you.

01:32:02.680 Okay.

01:32:03.220 All right.

01:32:03.460 Whatever.

01:32:03.880 I don't care one way or the other.

01:32:05.680 I couldn't care less about it.

01:32:06.320 Because he was in the wrong, Clint.

01:32:08.240 I do.

01:32:08.640 I do like. 0.75

01:32:08.980 He dies, dude.

01:32:10.080 And he's become a martyr

01:32:11.160 for the progressive left.

01:32:12.660 Whose decision was it

01:32:13.620 to let him on with shoe? 1.00

01:32:14.680 What the fuck are you talking about, 1.00

01:32:15.480 Toad? 1.00

01:32:15.740 A martyr for the progressive?

01:32:17.360 All right. 0.99

01:32:17.680 We're not doing serious shit here. 0.99

01:32:18.860 You're returning, Toad. 0.99

01:32:19.640 We're going.

01:32:19.920 You guys let Magnus on

01:32:22.460 with shoe on head.

01:32:23.260 I don't find Magnus funny at all.

01:32:25.140 That was a strange one.

01:32:26.420 No. 1.00

01:32:26.720 It was terrible fucking 0.99

01:32:27.920 bringing on a dozen people. 0.99

01:32:29.920 I've explained myself many times. 1.00

01:32:32.040 It already had gone to shit. 0.99

01:32:33.520 It became this gang up thing 1.00

01:32:35.100 against shoe, 0.90

01:32:35.760 which was weird and gay. 1.00

01:32:36.980 Shit. 1.00

01:32:37.040 So I was like, 1.00

01:32:37.740 you know what?

01:32:38.040 I'll give her a lefty. 1.00

01:32:39.160 You know,

01:32:39.480 or whatever. 1.00

01:32:39.920 We're already in a shit show. 1.00

01:32:41.000 That way, 1.00

01:32:41.580 at least she doesn't come off 0.76

01:32:42.920 like, 1.00

01:32:43.280 what the fuck? 1.00

01:32:44.240 They just all gang upped on me. 1.00

01:32:45.820 So,

01:32:46.360 yeah.

01:32:46.820 I wish I could go

01:32:47.680 because I've been telling you,

01:32:50.140 like,

01:32:50.560 I told you a little bit

01:32:51.580 about like my,

01:32:52.900 my sex life lately

01:32:54.640 has been.

01:32:55.640 Oh,

01:32:55.820 yeah.

01:32:56.180 Go into graphic detail.

01:32:57.420 Go ahead.

01:32:58.200 I can't go to graphic.

01:32:59.400 No.

01:33:00.840 Ride the orifice

01:33:01.800 as you entered it.

01:33:04.280 I wish I could go

01:33:05.040 because that was,

01:33:05.640 it's been,

01:33:06.920 I don't know.

01:33:07.340 I asked Jose and Topo,

01:33:08.480 I was like,

01:33:08.860 is,

01:33:09.160 did after your wife's gave birth,

01:33:11.200 did like,

01:33:11.660 did your like sex life

01:33:12.900 like shoot up?

01:33:14.420 Because this thing said,

01:33:15.060 no.

01:33:15.820 Then love him.

01:33:16.660 No.

01:33:16.800 No.

01:33:17.160 No.

01:33:18.700 Don't talk about it.

01:33:19.580 What I told you is,

01:33:20.740 I actually,

01:33:21.380 this is legit.

01:33:21.980 Like the entire

01:33:23.080 through my marriage,

01:33:23.800 like I feel like

01:33:24.380 the quality,

01:33:25.740 overall the trend,

01:33:26.880 I mean,

01:33:27.040 there's like ebbs and flows

01:33:28.340 so far as quality 0.99

01:33:29.260 of the pussy, 1.00

01:33:30.500 but it's, 1.00

01:33:30.960 it's always maintaining

01:33:32.160 an upward direction.

01:33:32.900 There's a trend line.

01:33:33.700 You have a trend line going up.

01:33:34.680 There's a trend line going up

01:33:35.320 of it getting better.

01:33:36.800 Like the sex life is good.

01:33:37.100 You know what that is?

01:33:38.400 Real quick,

01:33:39.700 the frequency

01:33:40.460 has like

01:33:41.740 basically stayed

01:33:43.580 like here,

01:33:44.700 sometimes dip down,

01:33:45.900 sometimes come back up.

01:33:46.900 Like it's,

01:33:47.720 it's not,

01:33:48.460 it's not increased frequency wise.

01:33:50.460 He thinks the quality

01:33:51.320 is getting better,

01:33:51.880 but really what it is,

01:33:52.640 it's like the rising fastball.

01:33:53.920 You ever,

01:33:54.300 you remember Roger Clemens?

01:33:55.740 They're like,

01:33:55.980 oh,

01:33:56.060 he's throwing a rising fastball.

01:33:57.380 It was never a rising fastball.

01:33:59.040 It appeared that way.

01:34:00.240 No,

01:34:00.360 rising fastballs,

01:34:01.220 yeah,

01:34:01.380 don't exist.

01:34:02.220 Yes,

01:34:02.420 his hand came down faster

01:34:03.760 and the TV made it look like

01:34:05.120 it's rising up.

01:34:06.120 There's no,

01:34:06.560 it's not rising up.

01:34:07.700 It's an,

01:34:08.140 it's just like a,

01:34:08.900 that defies physics.

01:34:10.360 Yes,

01:34:10.620 it's an appearance.

01:34:11.140 Today,

01:34:11.580 I learned that Top Lobster

01:34:12.600 believes in gravity. 1.00

01:34:13.620 What a fucking, 1.00

01:34:14.140 I was, 1.00

01:34:15.680 I was dating Elizabeth

01:34:16.860 when I was my 40th

01:34:18.340 in college, 0.98

01:34:19.520 18 to fucking 21 years old. 0.98

01:34:22.080 And I thought I was having 0.99

01:34:23.080 like amazing sex back then. 0.55

01:34:24.980 I've never had more tense

01:34:26.300 like sexual experiences.

01:34:27.900 I need more details.

01:34:30.340 More details in the chat.

01:34:31.980 I tried the aroma in the room.

01:34:34.300 Randomly,

01:34:34.900 Cole will just say in the chat,

01:34:36.740 I've been really into 1.00

01:34:37.860 eating pussy lately. 1.00

01:34:39.300 And that's like, 1.00

01:34:40.200 like,

01:34:40.780 good morning.

01:34:43.380 That's the new,

01:34:44.240 yeah,

01:34:44.500 GM.

01:34:45.760 And,

01:34:46.160 and,

01:34:46.400 and you know why,

01:34:47.120 right?

01:34:47.340 It's because you are built 1.00

01:34:48.540 like a fucking God. 1.00

01:34:49.880 Yeah, 1.00

01:34:49.980 that's exactly why.

01:34:51.020 That's why you're sexist.

01:34:52.640 You're getting the nutrients. 0.51

01:34:54.380 I'd be like,

01:34:55.540 you know, 0.99

01:34:56.000 I think you want to have sex 0.97

01:34:56.860 anymore now because I look better. 0.90

01:34:58.520 And she has to be like, 1.00

01:34:59.420 no,

01:34:59.800 because I mean,

01:35:00.580 at the same time,

01:35:01.160 like if I,

01:35:01.640 imagine you said that to your girl

01:35:03.260 and like,

01:35:03.960 she randomly got fit.

01:35:05.160 And then she was like, 1.00

01:35:07.060 you want to fuck me now 1.00

01:35:08.040 because I look better. 1.00

01:35:09.060 You could be like,

01:35:10.020 oh yeah,

01:35:10.360 totally.

01:35:11.040 Like,

01:35:11.260 you got to get out of shape again

01:35:12.900 to figure it out.

01:35:13.900 Cause I've,

01:35:14.740 Oh,

01:35:15.040 that's true.

01:35:15.440 I've been in all different shapes

01:35:16.960 throughout my marriage.

01:35:18.120 And it had,

01:35:18.880 I feel like it's had no effect

01:35:20.640 and it's annoying too,

01:35:22.100 because there'll be times

01:35:22.820 where I kind of let myself go.

01:35:23.880 My wife would be like, 1.00

01:35:24.920 oh,

01:35:25.140 I miss when you had like a six pack

01:35:26.560 and you looked all like sexy.

01:35:27.540 And I'm like,

01:35:28.340 well,

01:35:28.480 why would I give up like you doing this

01:35:30.380 and trying to be like,

01:35:30.960 oh,

01:35:31.300 that's so hot.

01:35:32.280 It's like, 0.99

01:35:32.820 I don't give a fuck. 0.99

01:35:33.560 It makes no difference. 1.00

01:35:34.480 Am I like how much pussy I get? 0.99

01:35:36.380 Like, 1.00

01:35:36.620 like so far as you're trying to like

01:35:37.740 flirt with me to try to egg it on,

01:35:39.420 to try to be like,

01:35:39.980 you should get back in shape like that.

01:35:41.160 You're like,

01:35:41.460 it doesn't work. 1.00

01:35:41.980 I know I get the same amount of pussy 1.00

01:35:42.880 either way. 1.00

01:35:43.500 Like if,

01:35:43.980 if I'm going to get in shape,

01:35:44.720 it's because I want to get in shape.

01:35:45.900 Not because I'm like,

01:35:46.700 here's what you got to do,

01:35:49.160 Jose.

01:35:49.960 You got to take,

01:35:51.180 I think it's legit.

01:35:52.000 My wife's like deep down side, 1.00

01:35:53.400 shouldn't give a fuck. 1.00

01:35:54.360 You got to take your wife to Jamaica. 1.00

01:35:56.280 Okay.

01:35:56.760 And you got to do an excursion where you,

01:35:59.040 both of you guys think that maybe

01:36:00.480 you're not going to live.

01:36:01.760 That's the,

01:36:02.240 like you really want to spice things up.

01:36:04.880 Yeah. 1.00

01:36:05.100 You got to do some life or death shit. 0.99

01:36:07.200 And that's it right there. 0.99

01:36:08.780 That's why I suggest everybody go to Jamaica. 1.00

01:36:10.380 It's the worst place in the world. 0.62

01:36:11.780 That's, 0.71

01:36:12.140 that's,

01:36:12.400 that's why I gave myself a stroke.

01:36:13.840 But here's the thing.

01:36:15.020 No,

01:36:15.140 no,

01:36:15.240 no.

01:36:15.380 It is hormones.

01:36:16.720 No,

01:36:16.980 here's the thing.

01:36:17.620 No,

01:36:17.780 it's the way you look a hundred percent.

01:36:19.600 It has nothing to do with hormones.

01:36:20.860 I agree.

01:36:21.360 You,

01:36:21.920 you sir are a hormone right now. 0.64

01:36:24.160 Yes.

01:36:24.340 I was going to go there with this because it is hormones,

01:36:27.340 but she has the wrong,

01:36:28.060 it's not because of birth control.

01:36:29.420 It's because I'm putting off more testosterone now.

01:36:31.320 I have a higher testosterone. 1.00

01:36:32.760 Bingo motherfucker. 1.00

01:36:34.140 And it's like that weird thing. 1.00

01:36:35.640 Like where,

01:36:36.100 I don't know,

01:36:36.540 man,

01:36:36.820 top,

01:36:37.220 you tell me,

01:36:37.800 you've probably been in multiple different shapes throughout your marriage. 0.99

01:36:40.420 Have you found your physique really makes much of a difference in how much ass you get? 0.99

01:36:45.480 No, 0.99

01:36:45.980 not the frequency,

01:36:46.880 but you definitely feel like,

01:36:48.140 I think something subconsciously in your head.

01:36:48.980 I mean,

01:36:49.000 you feel better,

01:36:49.520 so it makes a better effect in that way.

01:36:51.180 Yeah.

01:36:51.320 This is,

01:36:52.160 I can't relate to this because I have never been in a relationship and I'm not exaggerating.

01:36:55.640 Never been in a relationship where I wanted to have sex more than the girl I was with.

01:37:00.120 You guys really deal with that?

01:37:01.900 Oh,

01:37:02.060 what?

01:37:02.980 Yes.

01:37:03.400 You've never been married is what you're saying.

01:37:05.280 Wait,

01:37:05.520 what?

01:37:06.040 I've been in five year relationships twice.

01:37:08.700 And you,

01:37:09.440 and the girl was always hornier than you were. 1.00

01:37:11.640 No way.

01:37:12.240 Yeah.

01:37:12.480 So the first five year relationship,

01:37:14.120 that girl cheated on you with your friend. 1.00

01:37:16.200 What happened with the second five year relationship?

01:37:17.900 You need any more.

01:37:19.520 That one ended amicably.

01:37:20.920 Yeah.

01:37:21.120 I was about to say,

01:37:21.560 I was like,

01:37:22.020 uh,

01:37:22.280 Clint,

01:37:22.500 I think your libido is low because you're low test, 1.00

01:37:24.740 man.

01:37:25.380 How often, 1.00

01:37:26.060 how often are you guys fucking? 1.00

01:37:27.960 Uh, 1.00

01:37:28.880 wait,

01:37:29.200 how often currently, 0.99

01:37:30.840 or just like how often would we like to fuck? 0.99

01:37:32.660 Is that what you're saying? 0.99

01:37:33.300 Like, 1.00

01:37:33.420 I would fuck every day. 1.00

01:37:38.240 Yeah. 1.00

01:37:38.880 Uh,

01:37:39.340 I don't know.

01:37:39.820 I used to,

01:37:40.380 when I was younger and like mid to early twenties every day,

01:37:42.960 now it's like every day to every other day.

01:37:44.720 If I was able to get like anytime I wanted,

01:37:46.960 cause there are times where you're like,

01:37:47.940 dude,

01:37:48.060 I just don't, 1.00

01:37:48.500 I just don't want to fuck. 0.99

01:37:49.220 That's more often than what I thought. 0.99

01:37:51.340 I would go to bed. 0.85

01:37:52.760 You're actually having sex every other day. 0.99

01:37:54.760 No, 0.82

01:37:54.960 I'm not.

01:37:55.420 I'm saying like, 1.00

01:37:56.040 then tell me how much motherfucker. 0.99

01:37:58.120 It really varies. 1.00

01:37:59.540 Yeah.

01:38:00.360 It could be like three times a week.

01:38:02.300 It could be once a week.

01:38:03.620 It really,

01:38:04.200 it,

01:38:04.740 yeah,

01:38:04.920 it's also like,

01:38:06.120 that's true.

01:38:06.460 That's a great one to three times a week.

01:38:07.940 It's probably.

01:38:08.880 Yeah.

01:38:09.240 I think when you're tired,

01:38:10.120 it's the one.

01:38:11.120 When you're,

01:38:11.680 when you have kids too,

01:38:12.480 and you're tired,

01:38:13.200 it's like,

01:38:14.020 it's a whole,

01:38:14.400 like,

01:38:14.700 like Jose was saying,

01:38:15.440 like I do it every day,

01:38:16.300 but it's like,

01:38:17.060 I put,

01:38:17.500 put the kids to sleep.

01:38:18.420 And after they just like really bring you to the edge of murder,

01:38:21.500 you just get laid in the bed.

01:38:22.800 And I look at my wife,

01:38:23.640 she looks at me and we're just like,

01:38:24.700 yeah,

01:38:24.920 I just, 0.51

01:38:25.240 let's just put on some nonsense show. 0.59

01:38:26.820 We watch knife or death with Bill Goldberg.

01:38:29.440 I don't have a TV in my room.

01:38:31.080 So that's a,

01:38:31.920 got a,

01:38:32.680 there's no other entertainment out there.

01:38:35.060 There you go. 1.00

01:38:36.320 TV in the room got me more pussy when we were actually watching TV. 1.00

01:38:39.660 We used to have a TV in our room. 0.99

01:38:41.180 Our room now just doesn't have like,

01:38:43.220 it's not good.

01:38:44.280 We have a TV in the room,

01:38:45.060 but we never use it.

01:38:45.640 Cole doesn't have electricity.

01:38:47.540 Do you turn it on now?

01:38:48.840 Because you're a Spartan.

01:38:50.560 Do you turn,

01:38:51.280 you turn the TV on when you're,

01:38:53.280 when you're about to get busy?

01:38:55.360 Nah.

01:38:56.060 No?

01:38:56.620 Just leave it off?

01:38:57.680 I don't,

01:38:58.000 I don't ever,

01:38:58.500 I don't ever,

01:38:59.320 I used to not have a TV in my room because I'm renting.

01:39:02.000 I have a TV in my room right now,

01:39:03.120 but I like sometimes I do.

01:39:04.780 And then it's like the show might be like,

01:39:07.400 like,

01:39:07.620 like,

01:39:07.840 like distracting.

01:39:08.780 It's weird.

01:39:09.380 Like, 1.00

01:39:09.620 I got to find the right show to fuck to. 1.00

01:39:12.040 Like, 1.00

01:39:12.160 you're trying to fuck this line show. 0.99

01:39:15.840 Seinfeld. 0.99

01:39:16.640 Seinfeld's got that like,

01:39:17.680 I think there's a meme.

01:39:19.540 It's like,

01:39:19.820 whatever,

01:39:20.160 like you got Netflix to chill,

01:39:21.640 but the show is kind of interesting.

01:39:22.620 It's like a guy like cooking around,

01:39:24.220 like the girl's on top.

01:39:25.120 And he's like,

01:39:25.500 Oh,

01:39:26.160 okay.

01:39:28.060 Yeah.

01:39:28.460 Yeah.

01:39:28.720 Like we were like binge watching ink master.

01:39:30.580 And then like,

01:39:31.500 like,

01:39:31.760 like,

01:39:32.040 you know,

01:39:32.340 we're like,

01:39:32.580 all right,

01:39:32.760 yeah,

01:39:32.900 let's do,

01:39:33.360 but then something came on and we're like,

01:39:35.200 Oh,

01:39:35.380 we kind of want to see that tattoo real quick.

01:39:37.180 And we just stopped for like three minutes,

01:39:39.080 watch the show.

01:39:40.300 Not a good look.

01:39:41.160 Hey,

01:39:41.260 let's,

01:39:41.560 let's,

01:39:42.020 let's get out of here on,

01:39:43.060 on one video.

01:39:43.720 Cause we've got 1000 videos that we have. 1.00

01:39:46.080 We have a ton of shit. 0.99

01:39:46.740 What do we want to talk about? 1.00

01:39:47.700 Pick the best one.

01:39:48.800 I don't know.

01:39:49.240 Most of it's not videos though.

01:39:50.660 Dealer's choice.

01:39:51.560 Let's go.

01:39:51.740 All right.

01:39:52.260 All right.

01:39:52.520 Let's go.

01:39:52.920 Barbie.

01:39:53.760 All right.

01:39:54.260 Just play it.

01:39:54.700 Just play it.

01:39:55.080 Just play it.

01:39:55.400 This is it Kayla.

01:39:57.040 This is the moment.

01:39:58.120 Let's see.

01:39:58.760 This is the new Barbie fashionista. 0.97

01:40:01.820 No.

01:40:04.940 They had the actual,

01:40:05.840 they gave her like a fat or two. 1.00

01:40:07.900 They gave her like the. 0.97

01:40:08.500 Oh yeah.

01:40:08.800 They gave it.

01:40:09.560 And the,

01:40:10.220 it looks just like a Barbie,

01:40:12.080 like a,

01:40:12.460 like a,

01:40:13.600 it's not even overweight Barbie.

01:40:15.220 Like a normal,

01:40:15.960 this looks like a normal chick. 1.00

01:40:17.680 Looks like a generic seven,

01:40:19.040 seven,

01:40:19.460 maybe six.

01:40:20.040 Yeah.

01:40:20.140 You,

01:40:20.320 you,

01:40:20.560 no one has ever seen,

01:40:21.740 a Downs person that looks this good.

01:40:23.360 No,

01:40:23.540 no.

01:40:23.680 The only thing that says Downs is it had the,

01:40:26.460 the little feet things.

01:40:27.660 They're like,

01:40:27.980 no,

01:40:28.560 no,

01:40:28.640 no.

01:40:28.980 Listen,

01:40:29.340 listen to how they describe it.

01:40:30.280 It's hilarious.

01:40:33.220 I'm a hundred percent Downs.

01:40:35.520 Listen,

01:40:36.000 listen to what they say about it though.

01:40:37.000 It's funny.

01:40:39.300 Play it.

01:40:40.080 What were some of the things you thought about when designing this?

01:40:42.620 Absolutely.

01:40:43.240 So you'll see the,

01:40:44.320 the Barbie doll itself is a little bit shorter in stature,

01:40:46.880 which is typical for people with Down syndrome has smaller features.

01:40:50.260 You see the almond shaped eyes.

01:40:52.140 You see the bridge of the nose.

01:40:53.980 There is also a crease in the palm.

01:40:55.620 Kaylee,

01:40:55.880 want to share a few others?

01:40:56.940 There's a crease in the palm.

01:40:58.440 Absolutely.

01:40:59.660 So let's start with her necklace.

01:41:02.040 Those three. 1.00

01:41:03.020 He stops on the vagina. 0.99

01:41:06.440 I'm just like, 1.00

01:41:07.240 put her in leg braces.

01:41:09.380 Yeah.

01:41:09.500 That's the thing.

01:41:09.860 That's the only thing I think.

01:41:10.920 Oh no. 1.00

01:41:12.180 I need to listen to this bitch. 1.00

01:41:12.880 Three arrows are a symbol of Down syndrome. 1.00

01:41:16.480 It's a lucky few.

01:41:18.220 And that's why you nice the community together.

01:41:22.740 Three arrows for three extra chromosomes.

01:41:25.120 I just had a great idea.

01:41:27.400 But we should do a cameo and get this girl to like, 1.00

01:41:30.580 just say some vile shit about our gang. 0.99

01:41:33.480 I love her accent. 1.00

01:41:35.000 Oh my God.

01:41:35.540 I want her to just like say some like race realism,

01:41:37.860 like small essay,

01:41:39.300 like speech type thing,

01:41:40.240 you know?

01:41:40.860 I like how they're going into like great detail. 0.99

01:41:43.400 Jamaicans are subhuman. 1.00

01:41:44.580 And I have three extra chromosomes.

01:41:47.540 And I have still a higher IQ than the average Jamaican.

01:41:51.880 You know what I noticed?

01:41:53.160 What else I noticed about Jamaican people?

01:41:54.680 They're all in incredible shape.

01:41:56.020 They're like six feet tall,

01:41:57.320 six pack.

01:41:57.800 But when you look at them in the eyes, 1.00

01:41:59.220 they look like fucking vampires because their eyes are yellow. 1.00

01:42:02.360 Right. 1.00

01:42:03.040 And my wife was like, 1.00

01:42:04.100 oh,

01:42:04.220 they're yellow because their liver is failing.

01:42:05.840 And I just think it's so hilarious.

01:42:07.380 God,

01:42:07.700 God created like this.

01:42:09.900 Like he's like,

01:42:10.380 yeah, 1.00

01:42:10.500 I'm going to give you like huge dick. 1.00

01:42:11.980 You're going to be six and a half feet tall. 1.00

01:42:14.100 You're going to be shredded.

01:42:15.440 You can dance like out the box.

01:42:17.200 They could dance like Michael Jackson.

01:42:18.480 He's like,

01:42:19.020 but you're going to die at 30. 0.94

01:42:22.740 Your liver, 1.00

01:42:23.440 but your liver sucks. 1.00

01:42:24.680 I will actually, 0.99

01:42:25.260 I wanted to make this point because when I was on the cruise,

01:42:27.960 I just want to make this point to demonstrate that I'm not racist.

01:42:30.540 The men on the cruise,

01:42:32.020 very attractive. 1.00

01:42:33.020 The women fucking disgusting. 1.00

01:42:35.940 Yeah. 1.00

01:42:37.080 There is a rule.

01:42:38.040 It's like a two to one rule where like,

01:42:39.820 not like two women to one man,

01:42:41.260 but like every black man, 0.97

01:42:43.780 their woman is like twice their size. 1.00

01:42:45.500 And I always wonder how it works.

01:42:46.980 They're like way bigger than them.

01:42:48.540 Like in the animal kingdom.

01:42:49.640 That's what's so confusing to me is like, 0.85

01:42:51.640 that's appealing to a lot of black men.

01:42:53.720 And it's the same.

01:42:54.740 It's the same phenotype that Jose and toad allegedly toad are attracted to.

01:43:00.760 And for the life of me,

01:43:01.560 I can't wrap my head around it.

01:43:02.560 We're describing two different things here. 0.99

01:43:03.760 You're talking about fucking a Lizzo. 1.00

01:43:06.040 And I'm talking about some thick bitch. 1.00

01:43:07.700 Those are like, 0.99

01:43:08.240 you have never seen a woman aside from Lizzo that you've been like too big.

01:43:13.220 I'm sorry,

01:43:13.740 but I think Jose still would a Lizzo.

01:43:16.980 I think I would not with Lizzo.

01:43:18.480 I cannot even imagine hypothetical in which I would.

01:43:20.980 I just think,

01:43:21.620 I just think it's insane that we're supposed to be like talking about this

01:43:24.180 Downs Barbie thing. 0.75

01:43:25.380 And top is so racist. 0.84

01:43:26.480 He's like, 1.00

01:43:26.880 no fuck Jamaica. 1.00

01:43:28.020 Fuck black people. 1.00

01:43:29.180 All right, 1.00

01:43:29.480 guys, 0.98

01:43:30.200 let's get the fuck out of here. 0.98

01:43:31.280 Yeah. 0.92

01:43:32.060 Does,

01:43:32.520 does a Downs Barbie come with a dream house that has a personal caretaker in 0.98

01:43:36.880 it?

01:43:37.040 Oh God.

01:43:38.440 He,

01:43:38.560 he wrote that one.

01:43:39.580 He just really wanted to get it.

01:43:41.220 He just,

01:43:41.940 get the key,

01:43:44.000 get it in there.

01:43:45.260 Good for you,

01:43:46.100 Toad.

01:43:46.740 Just a defective batch.

01:43:48.720 And they were just like,

01:43:49.620 what's going on with Clint's mind?

01:43:52.360 Go ahead.

01:43:53.660 Oh,

01:43:54.380 can you hear me?

01:43:55.240 Yeah.

01:43:55.740 Oh,

01:43:56.260 I said,

01:43:56.780 I will have Vivek Ramaswamy on Liberty,

01:43:58.960 Liberty lockdown next week.

01:44:00.520 Do not miss it.

01:44:01.320 I will also be in Austin this weekend with my Shreya,

01:44:04.720 Scott Horton,

01:44:05.260 Josie,

01:44:05.520 the redhead libertarian,

01:44:06.260 and a bunch of other people.

01:44:07.940 Angela,

01:44:08.400 it's going to be fun.

01:44:09.140 Check it out.

01:44:10.340 Nice.

01:44:10.680 All right.

01:44:10.840 Yeah.

01:44:11.040 I have the no way Jose show.

01:44:12.240 You can find me on YouTube.

01:44:12.940 I'll make your art pockets.

01:44:13.820 I'll see as well.

01:44:14.860 I've done a couple of cool little like geeky things recently.

01:44:17.520 I had Steve Vassar,

01:44:18.580 who was a John Doe to eyewitness.

01:44:20.400 He was a close friend of Yiki and he was also one of the first responders,

01:44:23.440 Oklahoma city bombing.

01:44:24.340 I interviewed him with Ken Silva,

01:44:26.280 journalist.

01:44:27.040 It was,

01:44:27.700 you know,

01:44:27.800 a lot of new stuff.

01:44:28.580 He's only been used as a source once before school stuff.

01:44:31.300 I highly suggest you guys go check it out. 0.99

01:44:33.740 If fucking, 0.98

01:44:34.680 if Sam Tripoli's booker ever gets back to me, 0.99

01:44:37.440 I think that's supposed to be happening.

01:44:39.440 But yeah,

01:44:40.380 you know,

01:44:41.180 keep an eye out for my show.

01:44:42.480 Hopefully we get some cool stuff going here soon.

01:44:44.900 I just got off the phone before this was an interesting individual.

01:44:47.320 I'm not going to say who I'll tell you guys after,

01:44:49.720 but yeah,

01:44:50.420 definitely go follow me on Twitter at Tower Gang Jose.

01:44:53.400 Nice.

01:44:54.320 Top Lobster.

01:44:55.160 Follow me at Top Lobster,

01:44:56.440 D-O-T-C-O-M. 1.00

01:44:57.840 Cause I'm suspended.

01:45:00.500 Top Lobster.com.

01:45:02.680 Merchengine.com.

01:45:04.060 And I'll be starting a podcast soon.

01:45:06.180 Maybe.

01:45:06.760 I don't know.

01:45:08.020 That's it.

01:45:09.280 Fat Comic Dave on Twitter. 1.00

01:45:11.740 I just need to piss and I suck titty during sex. 1.00

01:45:15.220 Oh yeah, 1.00

01:45:15.520 dog.

01:45:17.380 Yeah.

01:45:17.900 Who doesn't besides me?

01:45:19.720 You.

01:45:20.200 Yeah.

01:45:20.620 You don't.

01:45:20.900 Oh,

01:45:21.240 but I,

01:45:21.540 but I would.

01:45:22.220 Tower Gang Toad on Twitter.

01:45:24.640 Tower Gang Pod everywhere.

01:45:26.280 Sign up for the Patreon.

01:45:27.220 Patreon.com slash Tower Gang Pod.

01:45:29.200 If you want us to read your mailbag.

01:45:32.560 Tower Gang Pod on YouTube and wherever else.

01:45:35.060 Tower Gang Pod.com as well for the link tree.

01:45:39.160 All right.

01:45:40.080 All right.

01:45:40.580 Take us out.

01:45:41.280 All right.

01:45:43.420 I got to go.

01:45:44.140 Love you, 1.00

01:45:44.480 idiots. 1.00

01:45:45.060 Don't leave. 1.00

01:45:46.900 Oh,

01:45:47.240 all right.

01:45:47.520 Play it. 0.97

01:45:49.460 It's the Tower Power Hour slut. 1.00

01:45:51.540 It's the Tower Power Hour bitch. 1.00

01:45:53.180 No way, 1.00

01:45:53.720 Jose.

01:45:54.640 Liberty Lockdown. 1.00

01:45:55.880 It's the Tower Power Hour bitch. 1.00

01:45:58.300 Reed. 1.00

01:46:00.940 Cole.

01:46:02.540 Top Lobster.

01:46:03.880 And Toad.

01:46:05.220 Tower Gang.

01:46:05.820 Tower Gang.

01:46:06.320 Tower Gang.

01:46:06.820 Tower Gang.

01:46:07.700 Tower Gang.

01:46:08.360 Tower Gang.

01:46:08.840 Tower Gang.

01:46:09.340 Liberty Lock is truth say.

01:46:11.260 Same with Lobster,

01:46:12.360 Cole,

01:46:12.620 and Jose.

01:46:13.840 Toad is sick.

01:46:14.660 No way,

01:46:15.180 Jose.

01:46:15.720 The Tower Power Hour slug.

01:46:17.300 They made Dave spit all his.

01:46:18.860 Tower Gang.

01:46:19.340 Tower Gang.

01:46:19.860 Tower Gang.

01:46:20.340 Tower Gang.

01:46:20.840 Tower Gang.

01:46:21.340 Tower Gang.

01:46:21.900 Tower Gang.

01:46:22.400 Tower Gang.

01:46:22.920 Tower Gang.

01:46:23.280 Tower Gang.

01:46:23.820 Tower Gang.

01:46:24.280 Tower Gang.

01:46:24.760 Tower Gang.

01:46:25.300 They speak courage.

01:46:26.340 You sped.

01:46:26.820 Sped.

01:46:27.260 More than Rogan.

01:46:28.320 You fed.

01:46:28.880 You fed.

01:46:29.300 Truthbox.

01:46:29.860 Weather.

01:46:30.320 Timcast.

01:46:30.840 Hotep.

01:46:31.320 Hotep.

01:46:31.800 More offensive.

01:46:32.880 LOS.

01:46:33.600 No disrespect.

01:46:34.800 More offensive than LOS.

01:46:35.960 No disrespect.

01:46:36.780 Yes, I am.

01:46:37.320 Redhead Libertarian is their best friend. 0.97

01:46:39.020 She hot.

01:46:39.460 Unless they get raided.

01:46:42.620 Be new to me.

01:46:43.320 Truly. 1.00

01:46:43.800 Clint is a sexual brute to me. 0.99

01:46:45.340 Sorry. 0.99

01:46:45.780 No booster seat.

01:46:46.520 Get them tall boots on you. 0.50

01:46:47.540 Not a mission. 1.00

01:46:47.860 Fuck every podcast. 1.00

01:46:48.900 That won't stoop to me. 1.00

01:46:49.880 RANDO.

01:46:50.060 Libertarian won't be the same.

01:46:51.340 They revolution-y.

01:46:52.300 That's a word.

01:46:52.840 I miss grammar.

01:46:53.780 Send it.

01:46:54.220 It rhymed dubitably.

01:46:55.320 That too. 1.00

01:46:55.740 Promote myself on their shot stupidly. 1.00

01:46:57.820 Comedy philosophy. 0.99

01:46:58.860 Markrandom.com.

01:46:59.860 User free.

01:47:00.400 RANDO.

01:47:00.840 I'm single lady.

01:47:01.720 So please choose a me.

01:47:03.280 They scream Tower Gang worldwide.

01:47:04.920 Tower Gang.

01:47:05.280 Tower Gang rise.

01:47:06.260 Together we will overthrow.

01:47:08.580 Tower Gang.

01:47:09.260 Tower Gang.

01:47:09.760 Tower Gang.

01:47:10.260 Tower Gang.

01:47:10.860 Tower Gang.

01:47:11.320 Tower Gang.

01:47:12.740 Liberty lock is truth say.

01:47:14.720 Same with lobster, coal and Jose. 0.53

01:47:17.320 Toad is sick.

01:47:18.140 No way, Jose.

01:47:19.280 If you read, I ride Jose with Jose.

01:47:22.360 Pay me dates with all his fame.

01:47:24.780 Tower Gang.

01:47:25.340 Tower Gang.

01:47:25.860 Tower Gang.

01:47:26.360 Tower Gang.

01:47:27.220 Tower Gang.

01:47:27.680 Pay me dates with all his fame.

01:47:29.740 Tower Gang.

01:47:30.300 Tower Gang.

01:47:31.220 Tower Gang.

01:47:32.700 Tower Gang.

01:47:33.220 Tower Gang.

01:47:33.720 Tower Gang.

01:47:34.220 Tower Gang. 0.97

01:47:37.300 It's so fucking hard to line up the syllables in all of it. 0.98

01:47:41.020 Tower Gang. 0.98

01:47:41.620 Tower Gang.

01:47:41.720 Tower Gang.

01:47:42.040 Tower Gang.

01:47:44.380 Tower Gang.

01:47:46.060 Tower Gang.

01:47:46.360 Tower Gang.

01:47:54.640 Tower Gang.

01:47:58.880 Tower Gang.

01:47:59.540 Tower Gang.

01:48:00.080 Tower Gang.

01:48:01.160 Tower Gang.

01:48:01.540 Tower Gang.

01:48:01.560 Tower Gang.

01:48:02.120 Tower Gang.

01:48:02.620 Tower Gang.

01:48:03.160 Tower Gang.

01:48:03.580 Tower Gang.

01:48:04.160 South phenomenon.

01:48:04.260 Tower Gang.

01:48:04.620 Tower Gang.

01:48:05.060 Tower Gang.

01:48:05.260 Tower gang.

01:48:05.760 Tower Gang.

01:48:05.820 Tower Bull hate.

01:48:06.380 Tower Gang.

01:48:06.880 ient.

01:48:07.100 Tower Gang.

Tower Gang - December 03, 2024

#NEVERFORGET： Ep 120 - Carnies of the Caribbean

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript