Tower Gang - December 09, 2024


#NEVERFORGET: Ep 115 - Chicken Washers


Episode Stats

Length

1 hour and 48 minutes

Words per Minute

204.39505

Word Count

22,146

Sentence Count

11

Misogynist Sentences

133

Hate Speech Sentences

346


Summary

This week on No Way, the boys are joined by the most offensive man who's ever been on the pod, the most racist man who has ever been, and the most lazy man who s ever been in the pod.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 the only thing more powerful than a girl's girl a girl's girl with a law degree all's fair is the
00:00:05.500 fierce new legal drama about a team of iconic women and friends created by ryan murphy and
00:00:11.020 starring kim kardashian naomi watts niecy nash betts tiana taylor matthew noscott with sarah
00:00:16.880 paulson and glenn close all's fair premieres on hulu on disney plus november 4th just remind me
00:00:23.660 of your totem what's up retards i'm trying to start a cult here baby so i can only fit a third of my
00:00:31.380 dick into toads mussy you want to kill me or you want to give me a boner i don't know when i say
00:00:39.280 fuck the jews it means i'm horny hello is me i'm retarded any of you guys ever had the mythical
00:00:45.380 where they put the whole thing in and then do that shit with it the three of you had a threesome of
00:00:51.200 some kind i was watching it and jerking off
00:00:54.660 he was a tin in real life she's like a dead eight
00:01:02.660 lewis you're like a brother to me donald trump come on tower gang that is the most offensive podcast
00:01:10.800 fat dave fuck you man
00:01:12.740 it's not what this show is about this shit is retarded
00:01:20.900 welcome everybody it's wednesday you know what that means hide the blacks hide the jews we're
00:01:29.240 fucking running around here like a bunch of white racists are you ready to rock as always we got the
00:01:33.820 most racist man who's ever been brown mr top lobster top lobster.com we got toad aka tower gag toad make
00:01:41.160 sure you follow him on twitter it's the only thing keeping him alive we got fat comic dave aka cole
00:01:47.180 what's up brother jacked like a motherfucker just totally obsessed with the gym now went from being
00:01:51.660 a fat midget to a jacked midget and then we got mr jose galison the original jacked midget that's true
00:01:58.180 i am most of those buyers too and i've already gotten too lazy to keep up with
00:02:02.200 the host of no way jose mr jose galison what's up our gang jose thank you for joining us also it's
00:02:09.580 gonna be back i missed last week and it was sad but it is sad dude i almost thought about joining
00:02:14.620 from the er but i was like my wife might get mad about that and the nurses might throw us out for
00:02:19.760 saying racist comments but liz needs to get with the program though like this is once a week for
00:02:25.060 like an hour and a half she's gotta bill you know find a way to bill let you make time for this i don't
00:02:29.460 think it's asking a whole lot does she realize how low you are on pto time
00:02:32.980 that's yeah it's true no it's 100 it's real it's oh i think about my actual job because i'm a low on
00:02:39.300 that too i had to take like two days off last week and i was like damn i don't have enough
00:02:43.800 don't you work from home yeah but i mean like i still i'm i'm an honorable man i still you actually
00:02:49.440 work wow yeah i mean sometimes it's very difficult for cole to be in the er and not put nigg before it
00:02:56.420 i really can't believe you complained about running out of pto when you work from home like
00:03:02.920 who gives a fuck i i feel bad i feel like i am i don't know i'm morally if you run out pto
00:03:11.260 which is kind of like you could just be like well this is what i'm doing what are you gonna do stop
00:03:16.940 me go to my house you actually have to do something else or what like were you sick i don't understand
00:03:22.460 how do you call home i took off the next day after my son was in your just because like
00:03:26.580 i don't know i just didn't want to work and so i was like and so i could have just said i was
00:03:32.160 working because i was at home and i did get a couple calls but i didn't do anything like
00:03:36.620 i hate all you motherfuckers i'm a true i'm a true i'm a true capitalist because i even
00:03:42.620 i try to work for the man as hard as i can you know why do you hate us
00:03:46.640 maybe i just wish i was fired over the vax dude fucking leave
00:03:54.260 you can quit just leave you can quit at the time you want
00:03:57.620 it is the it is the craziest thing but then i don't take you seriously when you're like
00:04:03.640 you guys just got so good fucking like i just hate my life everything sucks like you're like yeah
00:04:09.560 he literally was complaining today about his commute that is nine miles and takes two hours
00:04:14.820 yeah and i was like leave leave boston it's the fuck out like you don't have to be there and he
00:04:21.400 and he was like i had to commute two hours both ways on public transit yeah i can understand why
00:04:27.380 you'd be suicidal don't do that no excuse that's the most frustrating part like i could understand
00:04:32.100 like top like top he moved and that was like incredibly top has a family yeah he's brown he has
00:04:38.280 like if he was still in boston and he was like credit scores brown yeah if he was still in boston
00:04:43.940 and bitching kind of uh sort of like toad does i would i would be i'd be more sympathetic if i could
00:04:49.200 get it dude your family's there it's hard like so much logistics to like this and that like it's
00:04:53.980 my family is here but look fuck your family your family hates you toad they told us i'm not i'm not
00:05:01.420 jose keeps keeps increasing our age i'm i'm in my late 40s toad is in his mid 40s
00:05:07.840 dude i'm not i'm not a i'm not a ruthless cosmopolitan like uh top all right you're like
00:05:14.500 you cause you like you live in a city take your mom and sister with you fuck like no you're like
00:05:21.920 you need to get out of here too as metropolitan that's my sister is out on the road actually she
00:05:26.220 is actually rude or see a grown man and go i did see your sister on the corner this weekend
00:05:31.680 or when you kill yourself just make it entertaining please jesus christ that's all i ask my sister's
00:05:37.380 an amazon baby she's like 5 11 it's just so frustrating it would be so easy for you so easy
00:05:42.980 i'm assuming you have a decent amount of equity in your house because you've said you've owned that
00:05:46.600 house for a long period of time i guess you have equity in that fucking tv behind you jesus what is
00:05:50.780 that like an 85 dude 75 he has he has equity in a home in a shithole blue state and he's not
00:05:57.800 liquidating it at some point like i'm going to be mean to you and i haven't been mean yet i haven't
00:06:03.540 started yet it's not started i'm still holding up top has he he flipped the switch last week i'm
00:06:09.460 about to you need to sell top today said he may block you on twitter like ironically this is i think
00:06:17.320 this is a path for happiness for you yeah top is the joking type yeah tell your house he's on tower
00:06:23.740 gang sell your house quit your job move to florida get like five acres and a fucking trailer they'll
00:06:30.080 get addicted to meth a thousand bucks you'll have an alligator there you get you buy some vietnamese
00:06:35.580 lady boy you know fucking fucking alligator it's like really leathery and shit that that
00:06:40.340 sounds interesting it's about the same as poppy so
00:06:43.800 look look man that pussy has teeth all right
00:06:53.820 she's like our number one fan i know
00:06:57.900 there's two ways to do it you either live stream it as like a really fun like jump off of what's the
00:07:07.360 what's the biggest uh like skyscraper in boston the john hancock tower jump off of that and film it
00:07:14.040 that'd be great or that's poetic building and just blow up that's some real libertarian shit
00:07:19.800 you should do it in front of that mlk statue that would be dope protest that or the george floyd statue
00:07:27.420 oh that's in that's in boston they probably i don't know if it's in boston just go to it
00:07:32.680 just go to it like dude you should self-immolate in front of a george floyd statue
00:07:36.760 and scream i'm on tower gang
00:07:40.520 before you start screaming and paying imagine all the online schizos like what does this mean
00:07:49.020 imagine he survives and then he now he's just on tower again but badly burned
00:07:55.940 all those skin graft people you can see like their skin looks so terrible it just looks like a fucking
00:08:02.420 he looks like like poppy's pussy
00:08:04.020 sorry he's on here and he's still making terrible jokes but like everyone is in pain
00:08:11.220 yeah get it get out get out get the fuck out of there toad but boston by the way they they had a
00:08:20.220 statue of abraham lincoln and it's in like this square called lincoln square and it's still called
00:08:25.760 that i'm pretty sure but they removed the statue because it was lincoln like sitting in a chair and
00:08:31.080 he had a slave shining his shoes oh nice of course they they remove it for the one reason they
00:08:37.920 shouldn't what do they what do they do with the removed statues does someone get to keep them a
00:08:41.400 freed slave oh yeah i don't know yeah they probably put them they put them in like a museum but like in
00:08:47.340 the back in the warehouse and listen when tower gang gets its studios and we really take this thing
00:08:51.820 off we're buying like some of the most racist statues and that'll be right if you're watching
00:08:55.900 investment opportunity yeah he's big on the culture war we can buy all of the confederate statues and
00:09:03.500 just you know how people have those uh like roman statue gardens i think we should do that but with
00:09:08.820 all the racist statues i think it'd be great it honestly would be like i would unironically love to
00:09:15.120 own a bunch of confederate statues oh my god like it's like almost like you got this museum like
00:09:20.220 building almost and it like that's the studio and you have a whole column like a mausoleum
00:09:24.740 and beside them there's statues there's like hitler mao and they're like and they're like it's so
00:09:29.940 disparate and they're like what connects all these they're racist when you go to tim
00:09:36.080 guys when he when he shows you like the oh here's the skate park we're like well actually this guy here
00:09:41.620 this statue he killed a hundred blacks this guy hung he hung 50 in one night this guy really hated
00:09:48.540 taiwanese i don't get it yeah this guy anyway this is studio no you know you know we should have i
00:09:54.560 don't know if it's in uh the uh spreadsheet but remember we had that a picture of that
00:09:58.560 micropenis statue we should have a garden full of those all the the greek statues of micropenises
00:10:04.840 oh yeah washed up but they don't take those down micropenai they're not taking those uh the greek
00:10:10.660 statues down they're just taking down the really cool statues of like cool guys throughout will you
00:10:14.980 promise to move no he won't for jose's sake he i think he enjoys bitching every day i think
00:10:23.600 i only conclusion toad is actually in a like a lifelong pain olympics and it's it's just it's like his
00:10:32.540 thing with his it's it's the the random saturday headaches that he had for years and he's just
00:10:36.840 like i just soldiered through it's like but now he's doing that with every day of his life i like how
00:10:41.500 it turned into soldier through and clearly he said power through this is one of the mandela moments
00:10:46.440 but he might have said soldier through i might have said both i don't know oh yeah the soldier
00:10:53.340 through comment from last week that was that was pretty great that episode was good and i know i
00:11:04.920 know you don't believe we can do good without you but that episode was funny man it was missing
00:11:08.480 it was missing the coal filler like of course fills in the gaps of like sometimes there'll be a silence
00:11:13.480 where we're like all right now who's gonna talk and it's always coal coal's gonna come in with like
00:11:17.440 the next retarded thing that no one is the color commentary in our color commentary show
00:11:22.920 anti-colored commentary
00:11:28.740 personal color commentary like uh you know when you like just find like a little bit of like
00:11:35.980 cum in your uh stomach hair and you're like wait a minute when did this get here like
00:11:40.300 who's is this like that's who's is this what the fuck are you talking about
00:11:45.760 there's too many guys i don't know i've never i've never wondered if i found any of that
00:11:54.640 where the fuck did that even come from that was so goddamn where were you where were you going
00:11:59.060 with it please now i'm gonna get into this like that was like the highest thing like like one
00:12:04.860 of those like really high thoughts to where you just tell toad like this extrapolate keep going
00:12:08.940 what were you saying yeah you thought top took something before the show maybe it was me
00:12:13.140 yeah another dude's dick he's just like i'll get them to shut the fuck up about moving
00:12:19.720 yeah exactly the only thing i'm just i understand what toad is saying because every so often if i do
00:12:29.380 if i jerk off in the shower at all like i will get cum in my feet hair that would be the only like
00:12:35.740 what you never i know he's a hobbit you ever done that come on you ever done that movie i mean
00:12:42.480 obviously any man has done that movie they come on their tummy at least once yeah oh yeah and then
00:12:46.720 you wipe it off but like i guess there's times where you probably miss a spot or something yeah
00:12:50.820 and you wake up and then like oh your little like happy trail is all crusty you're like what the
00:12:54.580 fuck you know yeah no mine is on my do you let me tell you here like this is what happened yeah yeah
00:13:00.160 yeah i agree with you jose but do you ever fucking wake up and go
00:13:04.120 whose is this i never wonder whose it is that's mom turn it off real quick so this happened to me
00:13:11.340 like i don't even remember a while ago but like a woman on top right the deal is done all finished
00:13:17.620 hopefully i'm just saying whatever and it's just it's just someone doesn't yeah some some woman or
00:13:23.700 possibly a guy you're done they get up and and you feel a warm drop on you yep and you're like yeah
00:13:31.320 then you're like whose was that and it was clearly yours but it's almost disrespectful in a way i feel
00:13:38.000 like like did you just squirt on me it's very oh i thought you were saying that you should say that
00:13:44.300 to them in that moment be like who's is that
00:13:46.560 bitch i didn't come
00:13:51.760 how long has that been
00:13:55.100 it is very weird whenever you do pull out and there is something on your penis that wasn't there
00:14:03.700 before and it wasn't it's not yours like what the fuck are you talking like like if they're usually
00:14:10.880 it happens when they're on their period and so like it's it's just like it's not blood it's like a
00:14:16.340 clump yeah or or some wagulated a little yeah it's a glob of dried period blood man
00:14:22.560 toad you'll know what you're talking about in your pull out a ring with your fucking peanut
00:14:26.560 peanut hole like if we go squeeze that out the vagina and you get a boot or something like
00:14:31.860 honestly you know how much i love the jews but that's the most that's the most base thing about
00:14:36.360 the jews where they're like like their wife is just starting to like they already know the
00:14:39.940 schedule and they're like you're sleeping in the other room oh yeah like they don't even like
00:14:43.880 don't kiss me on the lips don't look at me directly don't turn the lights on i'm like damn
00:14:47.920 that's base but everything else they do is fucking shitty but that's pretty cool dude it's it's amazing
00:14:51.500 that they even made it to six million of them because they only fucked like one week out of
00:14:56.940 the month like that's it that's the only time that you can that's the only month that's the
00:15:00.140 only week that it matters it's when it's like shit's ready to go and they're all horned up
00:15:04.800 well you know when they fuck they fuck i heard they they fuck yeah but did you know that
00:15:09.780 stop the coming there's no like all the foreskin is gone so it's just all not gonna get caught
00:15:18.000 in anything it's going straight all down like down the two it doesn't seem scientific but i'm
00:15:22.540 nodding along anyways i think there's something to it honestly if code said that we would all make
00:15:27.340 fun of them that's true yeah cole what do you not know nothing about anatomy uh did you know that
00:15:34.420 i do not know nothing or orthodox jews orthodox jews when they die when they die fucking dumb ass
00:15:41.640 i do not know nothing and just like add that to the intro very very play-doh reverse play-doh i love
00:15:51.040 it with the beard it's it is it is kind of with the with the beard that he's got going on the
00:15:55.580 beard like i said it's like elizabeth's calling me abraham today and i smacked a bitch for sitting
00:15:59.980 that with jewish i can see ibrahim i would much rather be a jethro than an abraham when it yo when
00:16:08.520 you're when you just got stubble i like i my dick is full fully erect but like right now i got i know
00:16:14.160 i gotta cut it dude it's it's it's not good i guess so my dick is not nearly as hard the fun thing
00:16:19.180 though is i don't know if anybody else i guess uh you look like a rat that lives out of his van right
00:16:23.980 now shout out to travis the uh the like the mustache hairs that go into your mouth like get
00:16:32.760 on your lip yeah i cannot stop like playing in with those like yeah my mouth it is i bite them
00:16:38.360 off i'm out of my mind i'll if they're in the corner i'm like i'm just fucking bite them it's
00:16:42.880 crazy i'll sit there and do this all i do that all day just like sit there with my bottom lip and
00:16:47.280 and this thing i've got chapped lips from doing it too much yeah no i fucking hate that so you gotta
00:16:53.760 yeah you gotta trim the hair so you have to fucking mouth i hate that but did what i was gonna say is
00:16:58.680 did you know that orthodox jews when they die they don't go to heaven i know go directly to hell
00:17:06.100 where they belong yes but it is obvious it's traditional they they're not even people we told
00:17:11.160 no no they no they ceremonially uh will collect where do lizards go when they die
00:17:16.200 they ceremonially collect all of the person's bodily fluids and bury them with them so like
00:17:25.800 what do they have to do they have to like go out and like collect like oh you jizzed in this person
00:17:29.400 we got to go collect all your bodily fluids oh i don't think they do that oh you the entire premise
00:17:34.660 because we were having fun oh you donated uh to a sperm bank you gotta uh i don't know
00:17:39.540 oh that actually makes sense though they're like we know what you guys do to banks
00:17:47.900 there's a run on the sperm bank what did the jew do you know that the jews have been kicked out of
00:17:57.140 187 sperm banks did you know that i donated to one in college oh god that poor woman
00:18:06.380 she's like i hope i got a stud well it was like uh i don't even know if i got a stud finder
00:18:14.800 it was like this clinic but it was kind of just like i don't know like a waiting room and then
00:18:18.880 like a bathroom and they're like hey i can go in here and like i don't know jizz in this cup
00:18:22.680 i like the thought that it wasn't sperm bank you know i think it was in a homeless shelter
00:18:26.240 you gave him a solo cup we have some playboys in there and then they paid me with taco bell
00:18:31.960 afterwards it was pretty weird oh my god you did not go to a sperm bank yeah you gave plasma
00:18:37.440 you idiot shit you came into the plasma uh dispenser or collector that's terrible yeah i i guess i don't
00:18:47.660 know the whole thing was a little weird it was i don't know it was just to get like 50 bucks or
00:18:51.800 some shit there i think i think they said 50 bucks a taco bell yeah god damn yeah i bet you you own
00:18:59.700 that taco bell you go in there be like i want to buy i want to franchise this no because i blew i blew
00:19:05.060 it all on a taco bell challenge so i don't know what that means i don't know if that is either but
00:19:09.680 it has something to do with gambling i swear to god i'm gonna block your code oh go ahead tell us
00:19:13.880 what it is oh i'll tell you uh so it's you spend 30 dollars at taco bell you have to have multiple
00:19:21.860 people do it because it's a competition you spend 30 dollars and you can have no it was like the
00:19:26.600 hardest part is finding the friends it was really difficult i'm sorry this just sounds pathetic to
00:19:33.480 me that like you get with a friend like you know what we're gonna do we're gonna eat a bunch of
00:19:37.040 fucking taco bell so you can do it i will say jose this is a college thing this is definitely
00:19:41.340 something that you would do i don't know i think i guess i did cool as shit in the semester i was
00:19:44.980 in college but i guess that's why i only did semester think about what the prices were like
00:19:48.740 at taco bell in like 2006 though oh yeah that's retarded amount of right so we're talking about
00:19:53.340 that you it's you have to spend 30 dollars and you cannot repeat any menu items and you can only get
00:19:58.280 one beverage so you have to like really strategize this shit so i was like getting really autistic and
00:20:04.140 thinking like like what's the most expensive shit like yeah you can't like qualify it as like a
00:20:09.420 repeat so i'm like so i woke up and i was just myself all day everything is just it's gotta have
00:20:14.820 like steak in it so you're upgrading the steak upgrading the steak and then like your one beverage
00:20:19.500 you're getting like a large water because it like costs as much as a another drink and it is large
00:20:24.480 water costs zero dollars i don't understand wait it didn't at this place it was a fountain drink and
00:20:30.480 i filled it with water what's the challenge are you trying to buy everything no no no i spent 30
00:20:35.640 dollars and i need it all you know yeah it sounds like that taco bell made it up and then got suckers
00:20:40.180 like fucking toe to go in there and spend 30 are you in a fraternity and yes or no no uh so okay well
00:20:47.640 it seems like some activity a nerd fraternity answer to this question though quickly the the winner of
00:20:52.960 the taco bell challenge is the first person to finish all of the stuff that they want so that's
00:20:57.040 how it works and it is you win what it is a shitload of uh money people put in money oh okay okay yeah
00:21:04.120 all right whatever i mean i guess i'd be down but i'd be like right so and i was not in a frat but i
00:21:11.080 was in uh i was in the men's glee club at my at my college uh and it was frat like i would say there
00:21:18.960 was there was a frat that had a lot of the glee club people and it was kind of like the glee club
00:21:22.760 it was a frat but like no sorority i was i was not in that uh there were some sorority bitches i'm
00:21:28.180 telling you yes that's monster university real quick that is a thing in college there are the
00:21:33.100 nerd fraternities and there are not a lot of hot chicks go there but there's a decent amount and
00:21:37.800 if you're a decent dude you can just come and swoop them away from the nerds i used to go hang out
00:21:41.600 the nerd fraternities like they're always chill as fuck like to talk about stuff i like to talk about
00:21:45.460 and i fuck big old titty goth bitches i know i know what you're talking about yeah well there was some sort
00:21:49.940 of i'm paying a bunch of sixes over not getting an eight like yeah there was like kind of hazing
00:21:56.180 dog the hazing was just kind of like like you go to like the wrath skeller which is like this
00:22:02.220 like basement basically where everybody's just binge drinking you basically just have to drink as
00:22:06.780 much as possible to prove that you're uh yeah that's not hazing valid that's called that's called
00:22:11.760 a house party yeah it's the most autistic way to describe you know the coming of age yeah like well
00:22:18.420 we have these drinks and then you have this like kind of weird ethereal peer pressure in the air
00:22:22.900 i don't know then you just keep doing it and then you smoke a doobie
00:22:26.740 right you start to spin around a little bit you see a girl you want to talk to you don't talk to
00:22:32.660 or you go home then you go to the taco bell you get 30 dollars worth of food and you shit your pants
00:22:36.480 well the men's glee club was interesting because we would go no it wasn't yeah
00:22:41.460 the men's glee club was not interesting no we got we got to we got to perform in spain and shit like
00:22:47.020 that but we we also how many of how many of the the men in the glee club that you you sang with how
00:22:52.780 many of them still have hair how many of them killed themselves at least at least one of them you
00:23:00.660 could argue killed himself because it was he was such a drug addict so yep exactly well one of those
00:23:06.720 guys is dead r.i.p jeremy don't talk so all i'm learning is like toad started his gambling and
00:23:13.320 alcohol first name very early like he was like what a time it was college did this guy compete
00:23:20.260 in the taco bell challenge by chance no i don't believe so smart guy yeah uh i don't know jeremy
00:23:27.020 said i'm getting out of boston one way or the other he killed himself the old-fashioned way
00:23:31.320 i don't know like like most of the people uh in the glee club he was like very likely homosexual but
00:23:37.760 like we never actually confirmed that i don't know that's how i feel about you no so no we would
00:23:45.020 well it was very disappointing for uh the women when we went we'd go on these like tours to all
00:23:50.760 these women were disappointed when they thought we were gay they saw the glee club come in and that
00:23:55.860 pussy got wet hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on i like
00:23:59.540 there are women there and you're surrounded by a bunch of gay glee club dudes yeah and you still
00:24:06.300 don't fuck any of these bitches look we yeah we went we'd go to well yeah look yeah yeah we'd go
00:24:13.060 to all these all women's colleges so whenever they saw like any men whatsoever it was like they were
00:24:17.800 like crowding around the bus when we got there i just realized what a fucking perfect scam being
00:24:23.680 maybe some mistakes were made hold on oh my god just nothing but gay dudes and chicks like and the
00:24:28.520 gay dudes bring in the chicks even more like exactly i want to say this uh exactly turned down
00:24:34.440 more pussy than any of us has gotten is what he's trying to say here which is kind of chadly
00:24:38.280 still not true that's right but he's just saying like he it's a nice sentiment it's a nice sentiment
00:24:42.880 but it's just not well i don't know the frame of mind perspective dude i'm telling you man i i turned
00:24:47.980 a different perspective that's what he's saying i i turned a totally autistic perspective yeah
00:24:53.800 i'll translate for toad he's saying he could have got a lot of pussy but he turned it down
00:24:58.320 he says this all the time is reality no i could have time with the bros that's way more better
00:25:02.660 than pussy way more way more better that's a double positive yeah i don't know no yeah i turned
00:25:11.220 down better square in uh avignon when i was 16 yeah we know about the foursome you tried to turn
00:25:17.160 down with cole uh yeah i was turning down something else during that okay all right let's get to the
00:25:25.320 mailbag enough i don't even know what that means all right this was a that was a 25 minute banter
00:25:30.800 congrats guys that was impressive we did it we did it it was all just bullying sometimes i will i come
00:25:37.500 into the show i'm like do we have content and the answer is always no and look at that 25 minutes we
00:25:42.880 did on nothing oh easy dude i could do i could do that for the rest of the show that's what we did
00:25:46.620 last week just ripped the whole episode of bullying we're like the fuck it dicky get out of here
00:25:50.820 we're gonna rip the rest of the episode we're doing we'll do the mailbag but it sucked last
00:25:56.900 week so okay all right so the mailbag was weak last week yeah sorry but liminal vibration actually
00:26:04.000 a video with his entry and and so his question has is it him masturbating no it is not him
00:26:11.240 that's disappointing i am i am disappointed by that all right let's watch so his question has to do
00:26:17.960 with the video okay all right he's pushing it most of her life in plymouth and had the accent we have
00:26:23.920 set a bad precedent here until recently yeah fish and chips chips i say that right yeah three and a
00:26:32.240 half years ago she was rushed into hospital with a migraine which left her with a voice she didn't
00:26:38.000 recognize so this is have i not actually heard the maya voice oh she's asian
00:26:43.180 wait wait wait wait her initial response we're talking about fish and chips the title of the video
00:26:49.200 she woke up speaking chinese or not speaking chinese i didn't see the title
00:26:52.720 chinese accent missed opportunity to call it fish and chinks though
00:26:57.300 like i woke up and i thought i just spoke black she's staying character it's the perfect troll
00:27:05.620 speak she speak a good any grift yeah but like that not me no more
00:27:12.180 sarah has been diagnosed with foreign accent syndrome
00:27:18.260 although it's good foreign accent syndrome she's been diagnosed being a lying bitch
00:27:27.860 there's nothing foreign about it dude she doesn't even look asian like what is going on here
00:27:35.640 yeah because it's one of the time in china to pick up the accent so it's impossible
00:27:41.140 what the fuck tough night night bus although she doesn't know oh my god imagine going through
00:27:48.120 speech therapy while you're faking it i mean she's just diagnosed with racism that's that's what's
00:27:56.380 going on comfortable with my speech now we can't give you any definitive answers about exactly what's
00:28:03.020 happening which is why we're following she's a liar's journey yeah some small changes happened within her
00:28:08.720 brain and they're hilarious but it's a lie you know what's amazing about this this is like that
00:28:13.460 uh south park where cartman could just like yell all these like despite curse words and slurs
00:28:18.660 where he got Tourette's and then yeah blame it on Tourette's sorry that he actually got Tourette's
00:28:22.340 yeah so you can be completely racist you can be massively racist and just say you have foreign
00:28:27.740 accents syndrome yeah that's what i was saying oh i just woke up i had a headache it's not nothing i
00:28:34.380 can do to stop with this i'm so sorry all right so his question is in relation to the above clip
00:28:41.420 if y'all woke up with foreign accent syndrome tomorrow what would be yours oh i'd be black
00:28:47.500 as a motherfucker uh honestly i'd be british because i feel like that like british like it's
00:28:53.040 pretty sexy i was just thinking what sounds more retarded like a chinese accent or a british accent
00:28:58.740 although i like a cocky british accent oh i bro oh yeah that'd be pretty hot like oh god
00:29:04.820 i think it's got to be black though because then you get the the n-word pass
00:29:12.400 no you don't oh you still look like you know you don't get it you just act like you have it
00:29:18.220 i mean if you sell it you're still gonna get laid out but it'd be funny
00:29:24.500 white dudes if they can sell it they can get away with it it's only like the fucking like
00:29:29.980 uh like the white women that will be like you can't say that like everyone else is kind of like
00:29:34.760 well i mean dude he's like completely look at his body language look at how he speaks like that's
00:29:39.680 clearly how he's raised who gives a fuck exactly yeah but you have to actually be hood you can't
00:29:44.680 be you have to actually commit to it you'd have to become a wigger basically because like this but
00:29:51.480 your wardrobe everything he didn't commit to it she didn't dress up in a fucking kimono
00:29:56.720 and like put on that weird like white face with the big little fucking weird little pointy hats
00:30:01.920 and the little rope no she didn't dress like a geisha which is no she just like she just had a british
00:30:07.840 asian accent that she was obviously faking and like i'd be based if she had if she had just gone
00:30:12.700 all in and she was like i'm gonna fucking be a geisha now that'd be sick yeah yeah then i would
00:30:16.960 believe her but no the i can't just stop her oh you need to become indian you have to shit in
00:30:23.420 the street and then like own a 7-eleven like you just have to do like immediately just buy it like
00:30:27.840 a 7-eleven i hope this bitch started fundraisers and shit for awareness and all sorts of everything
00:30:32.860 i don't you must have bound my feet my feet are too large i cannot fit into the shoe
00:30:37.520 the other one is you you could just uh be a like a white woman and then you just have to transition
00:30:44.300 like i think someone said it in the uh the chat just like just be like i'm a white woman now
00:30:48.820 and you just talk like a fucking idiot um i would opt for africaner i would love to be that
00:30:55.060 oh yeah like the south africans kind of guy just the south africans yeah that'd be true that sounds
00:30:59.240 pretty cool no no yeah that clicks and i mean the good thing about that is no one would know if i
00:31:12.460 could actually speak it or not yeah it's like yeah one of the 10 000 people that speak this
00:31:17.820 language in africa are gonna see me yeah sure they're gonna see me on their obama phones
00:31:24.160 south american tribe that doesn't even completely have a full language it's more just like
00:31:29.900 you know sounds to call out to other people for hunting trips and stuff like like animal noise it's
00:31:35.100 like oh yeah now the other one is uh there's a funny thing about it like kind of on family guy
00:31:41.220 when uh peter becomes an uber driver and all of a sudden it becomes like uh middle eastern like
00:31:46.540 that would be the other one you just start you just become a middle eastern man just put on a ton of
00:31:50.620 cologne get a bunch of chest hair wear like persian specifically yeah yeah persian wear like a big
00:31:55.860 like gold chain yeah and then just like yell on a fucking um like a bluetooth uh headset just all the
00:32:03.680 time just be on the phone just that would be pretty based uh peter did it with uh with italians as
00:32:08.800 well they're black different episode yeah exactly i don't know if you saw that video this week for
00:32:13.680 that documentary where like there was oh i saw it yeah the guys got pulled over by some like nigerians
00:32:19.380 or something like that and they're about to like ship them off and they're like no no no they're
00:32:23.500 italian they're okay they're good i don't need that i've seen true romance man and i am sicilian so i
00:32:29.800 know how black i am yeah exactly i think we need to go back to occasionally i don't know how we
00:32:35.300 sound pretty cool i don't know italian accents yeah i don't know how we could coordinate this but
00:32:39.360 i do think we need to go back to the old ways and occasionally it'd be great if we could figure
00:32:43.840 a way to coordinate this slavery so yes that but also uh no no you know you back in the day
00:32:49.100 property women whenever toad bombed in a joke we would just all go completely silent all right
00:32:54.240 he's like he's like i would greatly prefer you guys all mock me every time i say that was a nick
00:33:04.620 thing and it kind of yes it was and it was funny in moderation it corrupts the flow of the episode
00:33:10.000 let it promise toad didn't say uh bad joe's in moderation so i need to watch myself you gotta do
00:33:15.580 like once that's where nick nick went wrong on the show he started getting like really mean to toad to
00:33:21.700 the point where when he saw you at tom woody slapped you and i i feel like i'm right he didn't
00:33:26.640 even know about the threesome at that point keep my wife name out your motherfucking hell he slapped
00:33:32.480 cole too i'm still keeping the proper level of petty so i'll never be really vicious towards him
00:33:39.080 that's that's as nice as i can be all right what's the next one what we got a little dick let's yeah
00:33:43.900 let's do it all right so novum says last week i got into a 75 mile per hour car accident shit was
00:33:51.780 whack what's y'all's closest death encounter i mean i've i fucking ran straight into a telephone pole
00:33:58.980 when i was in high school and i walked it off like a car fucking gee i mean i i i talked about mine uh
00:34:04.720 last week right like yeah let's retell that all there's painful minutes of it i had a stroke i had
00:34:09.980 that car we were joking i was going uh i was not going 75 like you but i was probably going like
00:34:15.520 40 50 went right into a telephone pole uh it was like the the road was kind of slick like it just
00:34:21.240 kind of froze over a little bit so it was kind of like a slick road and i fucking came around a
00:34:24.660 corner and i was kind of being retarded anyways and i kind of whoop fucking then right into it and
00:34:28.760 the funniest part is that like when i got up like i just walked it off like a g but like i completely
00:34:33.460 walked it off fine but in my head like literally my vision was flipped and i was just like
00:34:37.640 oh but like me being a dude just like i'm fine and i got like i like put on this like
00:34:41.640 masculine almost power i was in a i had my first car was a chevy geo tracker
00:34:48.100 and it was a junkyard but like shit yeah yeah it was it was a piece of shit which those are very
00:34:54.640 like prone to flipping over like they're they're uh they're top heavy um and also had different size
00:35:01.460 tires on the car as well and then it had it was the first rain of the summer uh and so like the
00:35:07.260 the roads are like super slick this is the type of shit that only someone that's plasma deficient
00:35:11.480 would yeah i was i was going around a corner same thing as jose and i turned and i felt the back uh
00:35:17.920 like passenger tire lift off the ground and i was like oh and then that thing just flipped turn me
00:35:23.880 around and i was going looking the opposite way and i flipped over into the ditch the thing was why it
00:35:28.940 was so like life-threatening like i was close to death because if i went off the other way it was a
00:35:34.640 hundred foot drop off like just down the hill yeah so like it was i said i went into like the
00:35:40.840 other way which was just like a little ditch and i flipped over and i was literally like upside down
00:35:46.600 and i and immediately i just called my mom and i was still like i was still well you were still
00:35:52.000 upside down yeah i was upside down so i called my mom i was like hey i just had a wreck and then like
00:35:56.320 i unhooked my um seat belt and i fell to the other side she was like what was that and i was like i just
00:36:01.440 unhooked my seat belt and i just hit the other side of the car she was like are you serious oh yeah
00:36:05.940 and it was uh um it was uh a convertible so you could push so i pushed up against the convertible and
00:36:14.340 crawled out and then i was like totally fine and i was you know what's funny like totaled
00:36:21.140 throughout this whole crash i could see him i could see cole with that goofy ass smile
00:36:25.600 like this pretty this sucks pretty bad it's just like yeah i was like i bet that's kind of sucked
00:36:33.640 i haven't had a ton of accents but i've actually had a lot of i've had way more close calls
00:36:38.160 and like moments where i'm like i think i'm gonna die or something crazy is happening and i don't know
00:36:43.340 about you guys when you've had moments like that i mean this isn't even me trying to like be machismo
00:36:47.460 because i will freak out after the fact but like i don't know maybe it's like from doing sports or
00:36:51.720 shit like that like whenever i'm in like a moment like that i'm always just laser focused like
00:36:55.860 all right well like i guess if i die i die like right now i'm at hand and i gotta deal with whatever
00:37:00.900 is coming to me you know you know what that's a sign of it means that your your fight fight or
00:37:04.960 flight mechanism is actually properly attuned it's like a it's like a soldier's fight or flight for
00:37:09.640 some bitch-ass men like if they actually end up in that they like they freeze or they panic or some
00:37:14.440 shit but i had the same thing when i shattered my hand when i went over the the handlebars in
00:37:18.700 central park in new york i i hit the ground i saw my hand was sideways and i i sat up and i looked at
00:37:24.360 my girlfriend and she's like are you okay and i was like absolutely not call the ambulance immediately
00:37:28.900 yeah i said i said it calm as fuck and she was like she starts laughing because i thought i was
00:37:34.000 playing around and i was like go to autistic problem solving i'm not playing
00:37:37.420 the bone sticking out and i was like no i'm not kidding please immediately call 911 ambulance
00:37:43.660 immediately it's like your rational brain is like well what's the point of being a bitch right now
00:37:47.360 like i'm either gonna die or i'm not like i gotta get through this exactly like you just it's like
00:37:52.000 it's game time it's go time there's no no bullshit in here the only other time was i was uh coming
00:37:57.800 home from work on the interstate and uh there was a truck came behind me and was being an asshole like
00:38:05.460 tailgating me and trying to go like you know i was already going like 10 over the speed limit and he
00:38:10.020 was right on my ass so i was like all right fuck this guy so i pulled up to the next person and it was
00:38:15.120 only two lanes wide so i pulled up next to him and then slowed down to like 65 when it was in a 70
00:38:18.880 uh which made him very angry so he pulled all the way over to the um the shoulder drove all like
00:38:26.340 went 90 miles an hour to pass and then all the way over into my lane again and then stomped on his
00:38:32.600 brakes oh so i that was me yeah so i had to stop on my brakes and in the middle of the interstate
00:38:39.620 i spun out and i was facing the wrong direction and the only there was nobody coming off like it
00:38:46.320 was that's what i was facing like i could tell it was the scary i was like oh shit so i but in my car
00:38:53.120 in my car they turn off obviously whenever that happened so i had to turn it back on and then like
00:38:57.580 drive and turn around in the fucking highway dude that was dude i'm good after that i uh didn't do
00:39:03.760 that to somebody for like a month and then i just i learned my lesson for 30 days i had another one
00:39:09.980 that was a pretty close call where i was driving home from work and i was kind of speeding along
00:39:13.620 this like straight stretch that was in this wooded area close to where my parents house is which is
00:39:19.140 where i was living at the time i swerved to avoid a squirrel that darted out in front of me and i lost
00:39:25.320 control of my car completely like 180 the car slammed into a tree i wound up off the road on the right
00:39:32.060 side of it completely spun around the other way and the tree missed me by like inches like it hit
00:39:37.320 like the front driver's side like real well you mean you missed the tree the tree was going for you man
00:39:43.300 yeah goddamn tree came out of nowhere yeah it was a matter of inches man good thing that tree didn't
00:39:49.260 have better aim i uh i think i already told my story so i'll just save you guys it yeah it's okay
00:39:55.420 we'll move on next topic my story uh probably probably on the tracks like uh i was i was a part of a big
00:40:01.780 uh i guess you call it a track explosion that was a lot of fun we were just like standing there and
00:40:07.260 somebody you ever seen a concrete saw like uh like they cut the concrete with yeah we use that to cut
00:40:14.300 rail but it's like three times larger it's called the slaughter and somebody was cutting the third rail
00:40:20.380 while while it was live okay whoa yeah for just freehand usually you gotta hook third rail don't
00:40:26.060 touch the third rail until it's cooled down a little bit we all know that you don't hit it
00:40:29.120 yeah they're supposed to test to make sure there's not 600 volts going through it so this guy he was
00:40:36.260 doing it and then uh he said the the hair on his arm started to stand up so he like let it go and when
00:40:42.940 he dropped it it bridged the other rail so now he made contact and the thing exploded and i'm just like
00:40:48.960 on the tracks and it was like boom like a fucking i was like oh my god i'm dead like right once i saw
00:40:54.220 the fire i turned this way like there's nowhere to go and but just like light light went by me and
00:40:59.660 it was like the most i thought i was gonna fucking die and if i was closer i probably would have died
00:41:03.580 but it was actually a train headed towards you no no no we know when the trains are coming that was
00:41:08.840 fucked up did the other guy die no he had like bad burns on his arm he's something because he like
00:41:14.380 threw when he threw it he gave him enough give himself enough time to like really like get and
00:41:18.700 like far enough away is it i guess the explosion seemed more intense because you're in a tunnel too
00:41:22.980 and it just like lit the whole thing yeah it was intense you know what's gay about life
00:41:27.080 like that dude should have superpowers now you know like yeah if you come that close to dying and you
00:41:33.360 get blasted by some sort of electrical explosion like why the fuck don't you have electrical power
00:41:38.060 he has superpowers he doesn't grow hair on his arm anymore we had a dude on the flight line uh back
00:41:43.820 when i like was a mechanic plane airplane mechanic military we had a dude who was there that i think
00:41:48.580 he got hit by lightning like on the flight line like something like three times it was retarded
00:41:52.060 and it's like i mean it was over a long period of time god wants you gone dude like a decade but it's
00:41:57.780 like just every time just like well i think he had weird health issues but it was like
00:42:02.100 you think it's like my big toe hurts sometimes but that's about it i have a headache every saturday
00:42:08.760 but i mean you are in a large flat surface consistently comes out in the two streams it
00:42:15.180 really sucks but that's i mean that is one of the worst places to be in a lightning storm like on a
00:42:19.440 fucking on a big old flight line with airplanes underneath a lightning bolt all that fucking
00:42:24.160 aluminum that is just wait does that happen to circumcised dudes like uh that that it comes
00:42:30.020 on two streams that happens to you guys oh yeah yeah no the the the whenever you're the middle
00:42:36.360 of your penis is stuck together and so yeah two streams yeah like what it is like sometimes i
00:42:42.700 always thought it was i always thought it was up the middle of your left overload where you're yeah
00:42:46.540 no it is kind of like kind of sheathed itself and it's like i don't know if maybe like i don't
00:42:51.340 know maybe it's because you're sweaty or what but then it kind of like sticks and you go to pee
00:42:54.340 and it's kind of cocked off the side because it's kind of like didn't unfurl like you don't
00:42:58.460 me like it's kind of like stuck to itself and then you like pee off in the corner unfurling
00:43:02.180 penis you know what i mean when you're when it kind of turtle turtles up you know and you're
00:43:08.620 not you haven't like really pulled it out to kind of like actually go swimming yeah something like
00:43:12.680 yeah yeah yeah it's all turtled up and then you go to pee but it's kind of like at a weird
00:43:17.000 cock how tiny like when travis said the uh my dick is so small that like the the whenever i get
00:43:23.200 done pissing it dribbles off my balls like you guys ever piss on your nut sack oh that's a son of a
00:43:31.000 bitch isn't it i pissed on my nut sack and i said whose is this we had a guy in my soccer team we
00:43:38.660 called uh dribbles because we we saw his dick once and it was like small but he had huge balls
00:43:42.920 we're like i bet you piss on your balls we're gonna call you dribble he's like god damn it
00:43:48.760 uh we have a we have a friend of ours that uh they couldn't get their son circumcised because his
00:43:53.780 dick was too small oh and i was like man that just like it's a baby it should be small how small is
00:44:00.060 this motherfucker elizabeth saw like uh like went over to their house they had like a play date or
00:44:04.400 something and she was like show me his dick no no like she got changed obviously it's a baby and
00:44:09.500 they were like and she was like it is very small like it is extremely small like i know this is
00:44:14.920 a long silence show me your baby's dick immediately imagine a long silence baby had a bigger penis than
00:44:20.580 this six month old i imagine a long silence i'm sitting there and then she just goes you know i
00:44:25.660 gotta see it this is gonna sound weird but i need to see that baby's dick right away yeah i gotta leave
00:44:32.540 soon so could you just show me his dick it's like the seinfeld ugly baby it's like the unspoken
00:44:38.840 thing but it's the it's the baby with the micro penis the baby baby dick all right what else you
00:44:44.100 got little dicky we're already at 45 so we probably ought to do one or two more of these and
00:44:47.900 skip the bracket that's what i'm trying to do that's why i'm like dragging this out we're like at this
00:44:53.600 point i mean i don't if you guys really object to it my baby wasn't actually in the er last week
00:44:57.840 i just wanted to skip the bracket we're in the final four it's two matches i don't want to talk
00:45:03.500 about it just do the next fucking question all right keith asks would you rather munch hillary
00:45:08.920 clinton's pussy on lindsey graham's body or suck lindsey graham's dick on hillary's body
00:45:13.860 oh my god wait what is the question if you'd rather you would you rather munch munch hillary
00:45:21.400 clinton's uh pussy on lindsey graham's soft shitty body i have to look at this point do you think they
00:45:28.240 mean like lindsey graham's body like almost like centaur type thing like two things conjoined
00:45:32.980 where it's like yeah it's lindsey graham's body and hillary clinton's pussy yes oh or i guess i'd go
00:45:39.740 pussy i guess because without hair or like you know with and then there's this uh fucking whoever
00:45:47.960 the i can't remember both awful choices obviously it is it's terrible like honestly and the only
00:45:52.740 the only thing that can decide this is i'm not gay so i'm not going to suck a penis yes yeah i
00:45:59.600 see andrew tate andrew tate clarified that that's a very flawed logic but only if you're dealing with
00:46:05.280 a 10 but you're doing with a negative five that's true that's a good point you're comparing once
00:46:09.400 you know a better question a better question would be would you suck uh would you suck lindsey
00:46:15.760 graham's penis on lauren bobert's body yes that is a game changer now that the answer the answer i don't
00:46:22.400 need a plan b the answer right no yeah exactly hold on if i'm thinking isn't lauren bobert the
00:46:27.640 weird looking one she's probably she's got kind of crazy bitch eyes but she's not i gotta leave
00:46:33.740 that because i thought she was the one with the black she's a conservative aoc she's this question
00:46:38.020 is hillary clinton's pussy on lindsey graham's body or lindsey graham's dick on hillary's body i am
00:46:43.440 i am eating lindsey graham's pussy that's just facts yeah it's not even it's not yeah yeah yeah you
00:46:48.900 would have to because you have two i'm still unhot the bodies here i'm also i was against the
00:46:55.640 andrew tate like i gotta go i'll rather fuck a one that one that's a woman yeah you're a true
00:47:01.520 that's a tranny i was 100 on the one side yeah you're you're a fucking massive homophobe you'd
00:47:07.980 rather you'd rather fuck i am hogan with a pussy hulk hogan with a pussy yeah that's no that's actually
00:47:13.900 gay no see yeah yeah that is gay i think it's objectively gayer it is gay it's not
00:47:18.780 i'm sorry but hogan bring that situation is less gay than i'm straight it is absolutely gayer for
00:47:27.380 sure i don't know i mean i guess think about the leg muscles and like the butt muscles he has around
00:47:32.720 his pussy that are all tan oh yeah brother i think the funniest part to me was uh blow out that pussy
00:47:39.700 brother fucking shane gillis talks about the first time he watched training porn he just legs
00:47:43.980 like leg drops your dick yeah the first time shane gillis talked about he said i watched training
00:47:51.120 porn once because uh matmas cusker got really got into it for some reason uh for some reason but and
00:47:57.500 he said he couldn't get into it because he would see the clavicles and they were obviously men's
00:48:02.140 clavicles and he was like that took me out of it immediately it wasn't the dicks it was the clavicles
00:48:07.820 he was like i could tell it was a man because he had the fucking bony like like nice developed
00:48:14.340 traps and shit like it was obviously not a woman it's not the wiener it's the musculature that really
00:48:20.720 throws it off it's honestly to me it would be the hands because there's no like no matter what happens
00:48:27.120 men like women and men have just different hands no matter how fucking feminine you are of a man
00:48:31.740 or mainly or a woman like they still i knew a girl girl gave me a hand a big old manly hands it
00:48:37.060 fucking it was the most emasculating experience of my life yeah did it make you feel small like
00:48:41.320 she was just like holding like a like a number but did also i feel like it might be better because
00:48:45.060 it was like it's kind of like my hands it's like it's like me giving myself a no it's like side
00:48:49.960 her hands were bigger than mine i didn't like it at all i don't know that's one of my biggest fears
00:48:54.900 like like a construction dude like just jerking me off like i don't want it and it's just like
00:48:59.800 the feeling of like you know you ever shake a guy's hand he's got like a big muscle like like
00:49:03.800 here by his thumb yeah it was kind of calloused and that feeling like the thought of that against
00:49:08.520 my penis really really makes me uncomfortable now i i totally had but i disagree with your
00:49:15.200 your hypothesis though cole i i have shook many maybe it's because i have big old leathery paws
00:49:20.420 but like i've shook in many a man's hands where i'm like like i really could like wouldn't be able
00:49:25.960 to differentiate between a woman's hand yeah toad yeah yeah no toad doesn't have that hand
00:49:30.940 no toad's hands look at those those soft hands honestly the i got some soft soft mitts dude
00:49:35.660 i'm dude i'm like a hand model so i have like trump hands anthony samuroff's hand was very it was
00:49:41.800 like a bag of bones yeah jack case oh no jack casey what's that guy's name jack is a bag of bones
00:49:47.360 like yeah that's what his hands his hands felt like like and and jack uh lloyd same thing actually
00:49:53.340 the philosopher had a firmer handshake than her husband it was very weird samuroff i felt like
00:49:58.820 i could like i could grab him by his arm and just start to like king kong slam him yeah he's like
00:50:05.120 five threes i've always like that's probably one of the coolest like fantasies i've had in my head
00:50:11.080 is getting in a fight with uh someone that i can overpower to such an extent to where i can literally
00:50:15.380 just just like that's why i think about kids all the time yeah i mean i don't think you do one hand
00:50:20.960 yeah kid to be super easy like i told her you dumb bitch i told her show but i have a new fear
00:50:29.160 um and it's because the dream i had that i got raped by uh the red-headed libertarian
00:50:33.960 she tried to rape me in uh in my dream and it was very weird this is this is where gingers come
00:50:51.180 from that's that's how it happens it's all like inception dream shit yeah she got into your
00:50:55.540 come in your dreams and then too and she was like how did this get here she was talking shit about my
00:51:02.240 wife and then like she was like you know what fuck her so much she i swear to god i like to
00:51:08.420 imagine you just jumped in it's like what the fuck every week when i tell her don't come back
00:51:13.160 that timing was uncanny what was she saying to your wife she left my house she was in my house
00:51:19.160 for some reason that's where she raped me and then oh i like i like how pre-show you're like
00:51:24.340 she tried to rape me and now no no she did no she tried and then she did
00:51:29.660 i didn't have a sex dream about josie i was raped by her in my dream i was like no please stop i have
00:51:39.580 a wife stop can you imagine the real world situation because this isn't something that
00:51:45.960 would ever really happened for a dude like i can't imagine if like if an actual attractive
00:51:52.460 woman like came on to me to that level to where it was almost borderline rapey like it's like
00:51:59.080 if it's almost like how do you even say no like they start whipping their titties out and shit and
00:52:04.720 you're like i mean like yeah i get it a mirror like all that but it's like oh i mean it's then it's
00:52:09.080 right there i really like that i had a girl that tried to rape me that i turned down no bullshit
00:52:15.040 well fucking that's how did she try to rape you like how does that work how would that work she
00:52:19.040 was she was punching me she was like hitting me and biting me and shit and she was drunk you know
00:52:23.880 she thought it was like like foreplay or something and i was like yo i don't like this at all stop
00:52:29.460 hitting me and so then she like bites me and i was like and i grabbed her by her hands because she
00:52:34.920 was like cocking back to swing and i was like look we're not playing around like i'm gonna kick
00:52:38.940 you out of my house right now if you if you don't chill out and then exactly no i never i never hit
00:52:44.280 her but then i did ask her to leave and she was like she was like i was gonna fuck you i was like
00:52:47.760 i know but like that's not my kink at all oh my god but she was hot too but just totally out of her
00:52:53.880 mind i was like like this is a rape charge waiting to happen i'm in this fucking mansion
00:52:57.640 i didn't even finish my dreams but i had uh yeah i was in the corner she did rape me um and i'm pretty
00:53:04.900 sure i did come which is very hell yeah dude yeah but that doesn't mean that it was good that was the
00:53:10.000 question was was i good dude if you come in your dream it's good but what happened then afterwards
00:53:15.700 the dream is good dude you came in your dream yes because i don't think i've ever come you had a
00:53:21.660 oh wait you had a wet dream like i only i don't think i have i didn't come in real life
00:53:26.060 i like in the dream she raped me no no everybody knows if you come in your dreams you come in real
00:53:29.940 life real quick have any of you guys it's like have any of you guys pissed in your dream and they
00:53:34.120 wake up and there's like a little spot and like it wakes you up you're like fuck oh yeah but but
00:53:39.180 please please stay on track here yes sorry so and then what happened after that is to mark how does
00:53:44.420 she do it there was a pile of clothes there's a pile of clothes besides her shut the fuck up
00:53:49.740 she's riffing hard to avoid the bracket uh to to mark her territory there was a pile of clothes
00:53:57.080 besides our like front door that she pissed on and then put my cum on and then somehow
00:54:02.240 i was just like i can't let elizabeth see this because she'll know that i got raped
00:54:07.180 she'd be more mad that you got raped
00:54:11.700 come on did you fight did you fight back like i don't think you thought i think i think first i
00:54:21.220 was like incapacitated i think i was either very drunk because like i couldn't i could only my dick
00:54:26.460 took control it was also like in the dreams where you can't like punch like or anything so you're
00:54:31.160 like very slow you have repairs where you're just like frozen
00:54:33.400 paralysis yes josey he thought about punching you in his dream oh my god josey's his sleep paralysis
00:54:39.000 demon wait you you realize mine too that's oh shit i didn't even see him say that i mean kind of
00:54:46.520 because she also seemed even uh like skinnier and like whiter which is very weird she was like
00:54:51.980 like even like she was like super white and very skinny and it was oh dude it was it was a ghost
00:54:57.820 where did you come where did you come you're sure in her i don't know oh my god
00:55:01.600 you reckless dog you well and then she like walked over in the corner of the room like a demon and
00:55:07.480 just and then pissed on it and was like and i'm not lying she was like she was like
00:55:14.180 fuck your wife and then she left i thought josey was crazy this is the coolest shit she's ever like
00:55:22.900 like uh theoretically done theoretically done this is yeah you'll never do anything that cool
00:55:28.820 uh d called out she's a succubus and yeah that is literally that is definitely if you actually
00:55:34.960 look at the succubus that is actually what they do they come to men in their dreams they rape them
00:55:38.660 and then they take their children off to hell or wherever the fuck josey is a siren dude josey
00:55:43.580 a siren like a mermaid yeah wow that's i woke up and i was like i can't talk about this
00:55:48.520 hold on hold on like i imagine a monster transformation where she gets more gone
00:55:54.440 i do want to say i did not want it to happen like that would actually be terrifying if you
00:55:58.100 made her like almost holocaust skinny and kind of more elongated her hair float around like it was
00:56:02.300 in water oh my god you could throw some makeup on when she spoke to him she just like opened her
00:56:07.600 mouth and i was like
00:56:08.240 like he understood her telepathically all he heard was come now come now this is i know you
00:56:16.920 might have actually listen okay i don't want to freak you out but i have heard stories of people
00:56:22.120 having dreams like this but they're like having sexual relations with the demon straight up one
00:56:27.800 dude said he could summon it all the time in like 10 years oh my god someone photoshopped that give
00:56:38.300 her like the blue eyes the red did you realize uh i i think that you know think about this like in
00:56:44.220 this dream cole you know he's drunk there's another there's another woman involved in there's and
00:56:49.980 there's a piss there's piss involved he's he's like uh subconsciously thinking about the oh my god
00:56:55.920 anything about the ginger aspect she is a demon but he but he he replaced toad with with josie's
00:57:01.020 dream jose giga chad josie dude in like 10 years your little demon baby is going to come to your
00:57:08.180 dream like why'd you leave me daddy why did you shoot me onto those clothes daddy wait yeah exactly
00:57:16.020 so josie is actually uh yeah cole's child's mother is that what we're saying i think that's right
00:57:23.160 did you tell elizabeth this after the fact no i i guess i woke up and i was like she's finding out
00:57:28.600 right now with us yeah i just thought about when i when i got on here i was like oh i forgot that
00:57:33.540 this happened that's right by the way he got raped in my dream i mean jose would you tell your wives
00:57:41.160 if like you had a dream about no yeah yeah i mean i would be scared of telling her but i just wouldn't
00:57:45.980 care to tell her yeah like they're not i'm not a woman so i don't think anything of this like
00:57:53.060 where they do are they like if they have a dream about you fucking they're like wake up and they're
00:57:56.440 like you fucking bastard and like like i didn't do anything that's your dream it means nothing
00:58:00.680 so to me it didn't mean anything it was just very weird and i was i was very freaked like in the dream i
00:58:06.680 was extremely upset now now what did she say about elizabeth specifically no she was literally
00:58:13.480 like fuck your wife she was like and then that's why she pissed and she was like she's gonna know i
00:58:18.120 was here and she pissed on it i love how you're trying to get into all the vivid details of a dream
00:58:22.740 i remember vividly specific transcript now all josey i am so sorry
00:58:27.600 oh toad's toad's like please come tonight please yeah yeah yeah come for me in my dreams please
00:58:36.400 no josey uh demon comes into his dream and he was like i'm gonna rape you and he's like you don't
00:58:41.540 it's not rape i want it like i want it now the demon's kind of like off but by he's like you know
00:58:46.220 never mind she's uh she's the rape-headed libertarian oh yeah dicky does have uh night
00:58:53.480 errors he says he does have an actual like he has sleep paralysis and he sees that's just because
00:58:57.180 he was in vietnam i feel like dicky makes shit like it's real my uh my roommate in college did
00:59:04.160 have uh um sleep paralysis which is very weird god keith thanks man good for you a guy that looks
00:59:13.980 that weird i'm not shocked i had a i had a dream with a one of my that was a natural silence right
00:59:20.780 there sorry i had a i had a i think i i thought it was a nightmare because i had a sex dream with one
00:59:26.880 of my best friends a guy and i was like this is all i like i woke up and like for weeks i was like
00:59:31.940 am i gay yes you guys rolled over faced each other like did you have that dream yeah i said that dream
00:59:37.240 too that was so good oh that was so good oh clint is definitely gay no no no i really didn't want
00:59:45.860 it though penises inside someone else and that's why i'm complaining because dick was inside the other
00:59:49.700 man the other dude's ass and he was well we were having a sleepover and i did wake up yeah that
00:59:53.880 that was a toad cole that was a toad all right let's uh let's do these two bracket matchups so
00:59:58.160 we don't so we so we don't all right let's go guys yeah so so that we don't end we're at an hour
01:00:04.180 unironically plugs would be a good time right now 80 percent of the podcast is not gonna do this
01:00:08.640 hell yeah plug plugs and leave that's not true ask the audience like we did last week let's do
01:00:14.560 matchups well host of liberty lockdown and i just said i'm carol roth former investment banker make
01:00:20.440 sure you check that out uh clint russell over on liberty lockdown over 3 100 followers on rumble
01:00:26.260 my goodness and by the way my channel will have a strike drop off of it on youtube on april 7th i
01:00:32.900 will be able to publish on youtube once again but keep growing on rumble folks thank you so much for
01:00:37.520 checking us out jose gallison i have the no way jose show you can find me on youtube all the major
01:00:41.600 auto podcatchers odyssey as well uh so far as like recent episodes or upcoming stuff i don't really have
01:00:46.420 anything big uh i do have my recent yiki episode you can see it right there i i'm not yiki that was
01:00:52.020 actually about trying to uh you don't have to watch the whole series for that episode that's a good
01:00:55.660 standalone episode i highly recommend it um that's about kind of trying to do but i do have a big
01:01:01.740 appearance coming up it was supposed to be sunday but dave is a beautiful retard that fucking fucked up
01:01:06.840 and double uh double scheduled so i will be on tuesday this upcoming tuesday i don't know the date
01:01:13.240 to talk about the oklahoma city bombing to yours to yours truly dave smith of part of the problem
01:01:19.620 do you think he knows about what happened about the oklahoma city bombing i think he has like it
01:01:24.700 happened like it happened
01:01:26.840 no seriously i don't tell me about it like there was a bombing in oklahoma city in the 90s like i
01:01:35.500 totally missed that yo i forgot to mention i'll be in uh washington state this weekend so if
01:01:40.880 anybody's in washington state you go don't come out to see me speak at the lp washington uh you're
01:01:45.360 dead to me and you're not allowed to watch the show anymore that's right oh yeah uh top lobster.com
01:01:50.580 top lobster on twitter follow me on twitter and other places uh little dicky i know it's the last
01:01:55.420 second can you pull up merch engine.com um we we're we've rebranded podcast merch.com
01:02:03.040 i spent hours and hours working on this new thing yeah basically by yourself right what's that
01:02:10.640 the new podcast merch or merch engine.com whatever uh well a lot of design yeah but i had some some
01:02:17.400 other guy help me there's another guy that's doing website design and stuff but yeah we're really
01:02:21.460 working on revamping this we've seized the means of production we're really doing big things here so
01:02:26.180 go check that out and support it if you like me or it'd be cool go back up yeah those are uh
01:02:32.140 my covet pot no up one more oh yeah michael that's michael malice michael malice wore that shirt on joe rogan
01:02:40.180 so go pick that up that's my plugs hell yeah all right uh fat comic dave on twitter uh go check out
01:02:49.160 we just we actually did a tower uh this week it was actually one of the coolest towers that we've ever
01:02:54.740 done it loved it uh uh on brianna woo which i would love to actually figure out what was actually
01:03:01.000 happening because uh with linus tech tips apparently there was someone said the n-word and i think that
01:03:06.800 was really funny but uh just go follow me there and also fat comic dave and uh tower game cold yeah
01:03:12.260 uh full credit to toad by the way that was his i know i start off the tower but it was because he
01:03:17.320 had a typo in it that was his brainchild and it was goddamn brilliant you get the n-word and the r-word
01:03:22.180 in the same it was just it was masterful same amount of letters for pussies out there you know
01:03:28.440 for those who actually want it it was it i i this was the first time i i found out that those two
01:03:33.940 words have the same amount of letters like i never put it together before it was twin towers baby it was
01:03:40.160 a nigger retard tower all in one uh uh brianna woo she's i don't know some insane
01:03:46.760 person from boston let's have that discussion after the plugs but what plugs we got uh tower
01:03:52.760 gang toad follow tower gang pod everywhere sign up for the patreon patreon.com slash tower gang pod
01:03:58.580 we're tower gang pod on youtube on rumble and how many supporters do we have i think we're still tower
01:04:04.500 power hour and odyssey but fuck odyssey how many supporters do we have i uh believe it's uh i don't
01:04:10.220 know the number of supporters but well then you can't answer me 36 holy shit that's awesome right you
01:04:16.840 guys are idiots that's pretty cool though thank you to the yeah those 36 retards we love you guys
01:04:23.020 yeah god bless go to fucking libertylockdown.locals.com support me you fucking scumbag
01:04:27.760 you're sending money to this retard show now i'm telling you throw it to the audience by the way
01:04:34.860 about the bracket we have two decisions to make now at this point to my son what are they what are
01:04:39.560 the two sandy hook versus uh sandy hook all right everybody sandy hook i'm going to sandy hook yeah
01:04:45.280 sandy hook all right we did it was on wow it's done wow on the other side i'm going vegas uh sandy
01:04:52.380 hook uh yes and vegas that's fine sandy hook and vegas all right next uh next topic
01:04:57.240 and vegas okay vegas wins yeah sandy hook vegas uh yeah okay all right wow you want to pick the
01:05:04.120 winner i say sandy hook way to suck the fun out of it what little fun there is i get you were having
01:05:10.160 fun but jesus christ i mean there is there is some fun to it yet why are we kidding that was
01:05:13.840 you want to pick the champion too yeah oh that's gonna be tough i'm gonna i'm gonna go
01:05:20.040 i'm gonna i'm gonna say i'll go sandy hook sandy hook as well for the sole reason that it never
01:05:26.400 happened so we're not saying that a mass shooting no explanation i gotta go christ church for that
01:05:32.040 one christ church is like so cool and i mean like then why didn't you look for it in the last round
01:05:38.060 you piece of shit what i i do love that uh they already they already chose a real barn burner we got
01:05:43.680 going on here yeah that's right the winner is clearly vegas i don't know is it yeah now we're
01:05:50.940 right right church is like a through and through like i don't know what christ church too it was
01:05:56.300 just me and you buddy we got out voted yeah that's over yeah it's vegas i mean sandy hook versus vegas
01:06:02.320 right and i say vegas for no reason i don't care vegas all right so we're at 2-2 now i said
01:06:09.500 i just rather he wouldn't have done it at all if it was gonna be like this that was the whole
01:06:14.180 fucking point don't do it vegas so i think vegas did i think cole fell asleep i'm watching uh
01:06:23.540 vegas one vegas just won three to two i talked about before the show but i'm now i'm just looking
01:06:28.640 at michael hearn uh by the way uh because they're funnier than this so top tops artwork on this is
01:06:36.660 awesome by the way i thought that this idea was pretty funny because i wanted to do something
01:06:41.080 it was like an offensive i don't think we could have made it good tournament of some kind during
01:06:46.100 march madness uh the shooting aspect of it is you know it's a basketball reference as well so i was
01:06:52.220 like yeah this is all good you have like two schools actually in here that could be in the march
01:06:56.340 madness tournament thought it was all like decent my original idea was to do uh the hotness of uh murder
01:07:02.360 victims you know what toad i have your back here like these guys thank you like sucking the fun
01:07:07.680 everything this is why we can't have nice things what's going on are you guys just leaving what the
01:07:10.880 fuck is going on yeah i don't know what is happening here he's still talking about the bracket the
01:07:15.860 bracket's done oh what it's over vegas yeah amazing yeah oh i think i think he got in trouble
01:07:22.520 the art was the best part of this what happened i think what was i don't even know what that means
01:07:28.340 hey what did what did you pull up yeah i think he's in the dog house oh my god how dare you be
01:07:38.140 thinking about that red-headed tart in your dreams what did you do joe dream oh man women will take
01:07:47.560 everything including your dreams look we're look we're doing it joe see you homewrecker
01:07:55.360 we're doing it for the humor yeah she's she's the rapist homewrecker libertarian that's
01:08:01.420 what an incredible turn of events
01:08:03.780 liz cool good thing we did the bracket quickly cole loves you this is for the humor okay we might be
01:08:12.460 witnessing like a murder he's gonna come back with a black eye what if she's just holding his head
01:08:16.540 it's lizzie we watch it's liz she's gonna this is gonna be i can tell you something this is gonna
01:08:22.220 be wild if uh if cole's wife kills him before i kill myself like who had who had that who had a
01:08:27.280 bet on that i'm gonna tell you guys i don't think he's coming back i don't think he's coming
01:08:31.440 back today oh no wow imagine all the things he said of all the things he said this is the one
01:08:37.540 that we finally did it basically everything he says is so embarrassing and retarded and yet this
01:08:42.700 is the thing yeah this is i'm actually concerned liz if you can still hear this broadcast that might
01:08:49.800 have been a literal demon i don't know why he's manifesting himself i think it's a he manifesting
01:08:54.660 as josie that's just weird you can't be mad at being raped right yeah raped by talk about blaming
01:09:00.440 the victim yeah cool's bad for him cole's being raped by a man who's pretending to be a woman okay so
01:09:06.360 and i mean he he was very clear that he he did come but he didn't enjoy it so i think that's
01:09:11.280 important exactly i don't like hence the fact that it's oh this sucks oh man oh shit i like to think
01:09:22.780 she crawled backwards like a spider and then just like just queeped come on oh my god that'd be
01:09:33.360 awesome if she just shot it into his mouth for real we do we do need cole a lot back here because
01:09:38.440 he drops in his mouth
01:09:40.060 all is the um the crusty happy trail of the show as i was saying earlier all right well let's uh let's
01:09:47.640 spitball just because cole's gone doesn't mean we've got uh the other things that i had on the
01:09:51.260 list here were scotty pippen's wife and yo this is a great story all right this happens every time
01:09:56.440 cole's not here it's like there's this awkward is that kim kardashian there's this awkwardness where
01:10:01.400 it's like well fuck he's gone so what do we do and now he's gone almost by our own doing we could
01:10:06.120 have just let that been a quick rip and go it's in your head that we can't riff without cole we can
01:10:10.200 do it we did it all last week we did it last week we're gonna have to get used to the dynamic from
01:10:14.300 last week because that might be what we got going forward so i don't think he's coming back at all
01:10:18.740 like ever the n-word he stepped over the line dog no it's definitely not the n-word because liz says
01:10:24.560 that more than cole does i hope she pops up on cam and she's just holding his skull in her hand
01:10:29.120 she's like this is what you did in a certain sense liz is really cool i mean that that was a little
01:10:34.500 wild i love this jesus but uh she like cold jokes about racism liz is literally racist which is a
01:10:41.480 base yeah i i yeah cool i love her to the extent that i that i jerked off while they were fucking with
01:10:48.460 another woman that's love baby all right so so this bitch's name is larsa pippen which is a strange
01:10:55.880 name but she says that she had sex four times a night for 23 years straight while married to
01:11:01.700 scotty pippen with scotty or with other women or with other men or women i don't know so she says
01:11:07.640 she had sex with multiple people right no dude no no there's no way this is legit i don't i i wouldn't
01:11:15.420 even want that like like have you seen what scotty pippen looks like insufferable like maybe
01:11:21.860 maybe in a day in a night no like in a day okay four times every day for 23 years absolutely i mean
01:11:27.800 that'd be pushing it but i i could do it like if i was a professional athlete that all i did was work
01:11:32.760 out and play play fucking ball like and i wouldn't be fucking the same chick if i was a professional
01:11:38.100 athlete yeah no yeah you're just like if i was married and i was a professional athlete it would look
01:11:42.460 like you know what i'm doing all right like let's let's get the deal on the table here like road
01:11:46.200 trip bitch you know you know what you actually just you flipped the way my mind was thinking about
01:11:50.980 this i was thinking that he was forcing her to have sex four times a night but it could be that
01:11:57.880 she was forcing him to prove that he's not fucking any other bitches oh either way either way crazy
01:12:02.320 shit either way i think it was her like i don't think dudes normally do this kind of shit i feel like
01:12:07.360 there are women that like well i don't know if it's some crazy fucking mind game shit where they
01:12:12.580 will do weird there are you the few times you see like crazy sex addicts like this or whatever this
01:12:17.780 is maybe not even addicts and it's weird mind game it's always some woman shit like that's that's
01:12:21.880 wild drained yeah i think that's a that's a distinct possibility i mean this thing's like i ain't looking
01:12:26.780 but particularly for being in her 40s but she's had like crazy work done yeah she said too much work
01:12:31.600 done sleep paralysis goblins yeah no she looks terrible i would say do you think that when she was
01:12:36.900 fucking scotty because of the way that he looks do you think she was envisioning him as mj instead
01:12:42.580 dickie dickie says scotty could have been number one on the bulls if his legs weren't always dead
01:12:46.860 that's actually what i was thinking too i was like i was like is this why he he couldn't make a shot
01:12:53.000 is scotty pippen jr any good by the way i know that guy's around no uh you can ask a garbage man
01:13:00.120 about that because i think he plays for vandy okay i don't know i don't watch that black sport
01:13:04.860 but this is i don't watch college sports i'm not a pedophile yeah this is a weird one i i think i
01:13:10.540 do think that she did it that she was forcing him to have sex which is like what an odd dynamic
01:13:15.640 because he knows you can have his she looks like she could suck a duck yeah is she she white it's
01:13:21.820 always a white bitches like they never marry any black girls it's weird i mean yeah her first name
01:13:26.660 is larsa i don't know she's i mean she's brown she looks hispanic but she's probably white who the
01:13:31.200 who the fuck knows that is a sign of a brother who made it a hot white chick like let's be real
01:13:35.440 every minute that passes without cole i'm more concerned yeah it freaks me out that this like
01:13:42.080 well i know people can't see this but this is in the background like what is going on in one
01:13:46.980 unmute cole unmute cole unmute cole can we do that oh god that's this is an invasion of privacy
01:13:53.140 yeah i can't unmute because they muted themselves is what it says yeah yeah you can't i don't know
01:13:57.560 man he's fucking uh honey it was it was only my dream like what
01:14:01.160 he's like stop hitting me again not only was it only a dream but he was the victim in it let's
01:14:07.660 remember this i would only have sex in real life what if she's raping him right now what if she's
01:14:11.300 raping him right now oh jesus oh i have a crazy story all right so all right um go ahead and pull
01:14:17.980 down this larsa piven shit all right so when i was 19 i had this girlfriend and i had this ex-girlfriend
01:14:25.580 and i went and i cheated on my current girlfriend with my ex-girlfriend and i felt really bad about
01:14:29.800 it and i came home and i was super drunk and i told my current girlfriend what i had done
01:14:32.760 and i was very apologetic and i was crying and she immediately started blowing me
01:14:37.140 and she and she like asserted she like reasserted her dominance and i hadn't even showered i had just
01:14:42.300 had sex with some other girl and she was like i'm going to make sure that you're still mine and it
01:14:46.440 was the most fucked up romantic thing that's ever happened to me so she was blowing you i should know that
01:14:52.100 while you still had the other chick's pussy stank on your dick undoubtedly oh my god that's that's
01:14:59.300 like almost a threesome kind of but i had traversed 10 miles in between how how did this relationship end
01:15:07.760 uh oh she slept with one of my best friends and then and then you sucked her dick no no no no then i
01:15:16.240 then i then i hunted him for months and now we're like good friends again i never found him he hid
01:15:22.000 in his mom's house i'm not even lying it's a true choice wow i was like i was like i'm gonna kill
01:15:28.420 you i texted him that i was like i'm gonna kill you and then i hunted him for months and he was just
01:15:32.780 like on the run he's just hiding his mom was like i have to get a food shit you didn't expect him to be
01:15:37.840 at his mom's house what did that be like one of the first i was gonna break into his mom's fucking home
01:15:42.380 i'm not a i'm just i'm a lunatic not an asshole oh all right i break into his dad's home though
01:15:46.780 i had a buddy who did that shit and like i think i gave up after a day
01:15:51.380 you're much more reasonable than me i was like i whatever like i had i had been dating for five
01:15:58.760 years and he was like my best friend so and then and and the worst part was i had found out that she
01:16:03.660 had cheated on me with him in the first year i was with her so i had found out that i had been with
01:16:08.160 this cheating ass slut for fucking four years for no fucking reason and i was like i think that
01:16:13.040 made me more mad than anything i was like if you had just been fucking man enough to tell me i could
01:16:16.600 have been like moving on with my life and i i literally just fucking her just one time oh okay
01:16:22.500 i thought you were like i thought you were on the reg like if it was on the reg yeah i'm hunting you down
01:16:25.920 like if it was just like one time i don't know i'll give up after a day i don't know how did that come
01:16:30.980 out like how did that whole thing come out his his fiancee at the time uh found out and then they
01:16:37.060 broke up and then she told me yeah because she was trying she was trying to ruin his life because
01:16:41.700 she was hurt because he was a scumbag to her or something i don't fucking know exactly so he
01:16:45.620 admitted it to her yeah what a crazy bitch maddie's fucking other horse oh oh and then and then uh
01:16:52.200 a few months later i had a threesome with uh the girl my girlfriend and his ex-fiance
01:16:58.780 oh my god i'm not i'm not even following this dude oh my god look turnabout's fair play dude you
01:17:06.200 gotta you know punish the uh the chick that uh that i uh fucking um thank you josey that's the
01:17:13.620 only honorable thing yeah yeah you gotta even the score that the story i told you about with
01:17:17.780 though i didn't really give you the whole story i said a similar thing where i had a buddy and we
01:17:21.620 weren't like super close so i guess maybe that's why i didn't hunt him like you did and did like a
01:17:25.620 day and then gave up because he fucking ran away like a bitch but uh the chick i ended up fucking
01:17:31.600 her sister after so that that was i was like hell yeah like fuck you whore i'm gonna bang your
01:17:36.880 because her sister always kind of had a thing for me anyways and like i didn't it was one of those
01:17:40.960 things where i didn't even find out shit a thing until i started dating her sister and then it was
01:17:44.400 like this weird jealousy thing between them but obviously i'm like well i'm with her but then once
01:17:48.060 she fucked me i'm like hey i'm fucking your sister women are so wild like it was all vengeance
01:17:53.080 fucking like everyone was just vengeance fucking everyone afterwards like his ex-fiance and my ex
01:17:58.940 that i despised were just all like we're all going to have sex to punish this dude who's like has no
01:18:04.480 idea what's happening yeah that's how you get even i mean i couldn't beat the shit of that one guy so
01:18:08.480 i'm like well fuck her sister that'll that'll make me feel better about it i don't know what that
01:18:13.540 means i saw that in the chat you're gonna get me you're gonna get me kicked off the show i'm pretty
01:18:18.520 sure jc's gay and he's saying that he's he he dreams about you blowing a girl or a guy i thought
01:18:24.180 this was a girl oh i have no idea i think it's a guy yeah a girl would have a profile pic no this is
01:18:29.660 the person that always says oh my god hi right yeah yeah i think it's a girl either either a girl
01:18:36.000 or gay dude not sure all right i'm a little concerned about cold yeah we got any other good
01:18:41.860 content because i kind of want to go check on my i really i really wish you guys would stop worrying
01:18:45.420 so much uh he can overpower her i don't know if you've seen him oh he's fucking jacked maybe it's
01:18:50.340 because i'm married and i've been married i know the danger he's in he's gonna come back on the show
01:18:55.920 and she's gonna be behind him like in a far background and he's gonna be like i quit the
01:18:59.760 show i can't really do this anymore it's not you it's me she's got a gun to him there's a distinct
01:19:05.520 possibility that she makes him quit the show and honestly he should divorce her if he if she even
01:19:09.480 tries but go ahead yeah yeah and he only has one kid i mean it's an easy walk away
01:19:13.500 not again not again that's the best oh man play it again play it again just play it on loop
01:19:24.720 forever no she joins us live in the studio alissa this really is the calm
01:19:30.180 we uh we cannot uh one more time please we we we aren't allowed to discuss posterity we aren't
01:19:44.140 allowed to discuss a medical this really is the calm look at her eyes roll back
01:19:48.180 you know we can't bring this faint-ass bitch anywhere she's passing out everywhere she
01:19:57.640 attuned that she was four times vaxxed by the way yeah yeah yeah not again you just got the fourth
01:20:03.360 booster boy it has this so this has happened a bunch of times then right and and this is just
01:20:08.720 like the last of it like this bitch fucking passing out on tv that's amazing it's not even like i want
01:20:14.880 to see the vaccinated diet but i do want to see like the third and fourth boosted people die like
01:20:19.660 that'd be kind of cool i think her not again comment was unrelated to that like she was responding yeah
01:20:24.760 it was it was based off the lead i watched the whole clip it was there was a lead are you sure
01:20:28.280 yes the timing's hilarious though oh not again not again jessica's passing out again
01:20:34.160 yeah must have gotten that next booster every time man everybody has that friend the one that just
01:20:40.740 passes out randomly oh here we go again i thought this what this video is about i was like that's
01:20:45.700 crazy that like they keep letting her on tv you know it's all it's just a narcoleptic she's just
01:20:50.620 i was gonna say that i remember like induce bigelow holy shit this is the perfect parallel
01:20:56.960 to cole's situation right now like if he comes back have you guys seen the video about youtube
01:21:01.920 vlogger did a big apology video with his wife crying in the background and there's a follow-up
01:21:05.800 because he caught with ai porn of his female friends yeah i would say should we pull that up i don't
01:21:12.040 know cole is definitely more innocent because it was like involuntary this is subconscious doing
01:21:16.300 right but that is kind of a similar ai porn dreams like look if you can't dream about fucking other
01:21:22.980 women or dream about being raped by other women you're just not free man you're just not free at
01:21:28.000 all well that's why you don't tell women shit like for real yeah that's a good point that's why that's
01:21:32.680 why women inherently cannot be libertarian i think i think this is why you can only date women
01:21:38.220 who are base as fuck because if you're dating a woman who's like literally gonna be mad at you
01:21:42.540 like really actually mad at you for a dream you got a killer dude oh jesus you skipped a couple
01:21:50.880 steps but all right divorce fine whatever be a pussy about it all right guys by the way lizzie when
01:21:57.160 you rewatch these are all jokes i hope you guys this is all a dream you can be mad at cole about it
01:22:04.080 right we love you both all right hit play play it on this app if in your brain you only view
01:22:13.340 seasoning as things like garlic powder onion powder or maybe something like rosemary if this is what
01:22:21.360 you view as seasoning and rosemary let me pose you a question what does this come from granulated garlic
01:22:27.740 what is that garlic onion powder what does that come from dehydrated onion let's take a look at
01:22:34.900 the spice rub dehydrated garlic onion and bell pepper i sauteed those bell peppers along with my onion and
01:22:41.880 garlic what is so funny to me is if i had just doused my chicken in this rub in this rub alone the
01:22:48.300 seasoning police would be out of my comments they wouldn't even be in there but the second it's fresh
01:22:52.540 garlic or fresh onion or fresh bell pepper it's automatically not seasoning and let me just say
01:22:57.680 one last thing if you're one of those people that loves to watch cooking competitions and a judge says
01:23:02.020 something is under seasoned they're talking about salt under seasoning your food means there's not
01:23:06.480 enough salt she is right about that is gonna bring out the flavor of onion the flavor of garlic the flavor
01:23:12.240 of whatever random spice rub that you have and let me just say that if your food tastes a little off
01:23:16.920 it's not because you need to add more powder it's most of the time because you need to add more salt
01:23:21.860 or some sort of acid like lemon juice or vinegar okay this is just white people propaganda did you
01:23:26.900 did you bring this up for us to fight because i feel like we're supposed to argue right though
01:23:30.700 oh shit here we go okay but it depends on the content if you're talking about like rubs on
01:23:35.860 different meats or whatever but now if you're just like cooking so i rub my meat or some shit guys
01:23:40.100 everybody everyone take notes of whose wife or family cooks bland food from this argument
01:23:46.300 go ahead i cook bomb food i agree with top on this i'm just i think i i may maybe his taste buds
01:23:53.560 are fucked up what do you think i think it really depends on the context that you're talking about
01:23:57.140 like if you're talking about like why this is controversial that's how that's how white i am
01:24:02.520 okay look like you guys make your food you fucking boys no like i like i honestly don't understand
01:24:08.560 what the controversy is like everyone keeps showing this freeze frame of her saying like this
01:24:11.920 and saying that she's racist like why is that racist i don't even understand she it's because
01:24:15.780 she was fighting a bunch of black people i think dunked on the blacks dog yeah she dunked on the
01:24:19.820 black people because black people probably i guess i don't know marinate marinate their chicken
01:24:25.040 and dish soap or some shit i don't know little dicky pull up pull up the video of the black people
01:24:29.820 uh preparing their chicken because this actually ties in nicely keep going yeah you gotta run that
01:24:34.260 because i don't understand the backstory she is also wrong because i i'm a wigger but i don't understand
01:24:38.300 black people she's also somewhat i don't know the context she's only like half right because if you
01:24:43.820 just cook chicken with just bell pepper and onion that's not seasoned chicken it's gonna be bland
01:24:48.100 as fuck you gotta add salt you need salt you need pepper yeah you gotta throw some shit in there yeah
01:24:52.460 that's literally what the bitch is saying yeah she's saying salt and pepper the good of the garlic
01:24:56.620 she's saying she's been getting a lot of flack from you know certain darker individuals that you
01:25:01.640 know she didn't fucking put enough seasoning here's the real here's the real secret of black
01:25:07.700 the cuisine they put a lot of butter on top of everything she just described i don't think
01:25:12.720 there's any fucking difference tell me what the difference is what else do they use that's so you
01:25:16.360 know dish soap yeah they don't use dish soap what are you talking about it is a common racist trope
01:25:22.580 that they which is what makes it cool that they uh they wash chicken with the dish soap
01:25:28.000 that's why uh little dicky's pulling up uh this said video right now uh he's trying to he's
01:25:34.240 struggling actually i'll let you guys again on a little inside let me know dude you're the brown
01:25:39.160 dude like tell us what's up this is i have firsthand experience which is really funny and i
01:25:43.100 know my mom's watching and my wife isn't so this is what's going on my parents are living in my house
01:25:48.560 because they're building a house on my property right right so they've been at my house for about
01:25:53.420 a year and let's say tensions are getting a little high because you have your wife with your
01:25:59.340 parents obviously you this is going to happen oh no she's talking about spanish chicken fuck
01:26:04.260 her but so this is what's happening on my night dog yeah look look at look at her titties man
01:26:09.740 okay the fake nails and the bro oh no what is she doing now now now my boner is dead
01:26:16.800 oh now it's back on again saison goya garlic powder he said saison
01:26:21.840 now if you're throwing in the oven i will say this is probably superior because like
01:26:28.480 what are you gonna do chop like i don't know how you would do pepper flakes
01:26:31.720 but that's not even good why the fuck does she use this soap
01:26:34.700 i don't know that's like a thing they do yeah they know they clean the chicken yeah
01:26:40.800 they do that i think it's i think it don't understand oh my god send them back to africa
01:26:45.560 i think it's i think it's to remove the salmonella
01:26:48.360 i mean it's probably not the worst idea but it's or vinegar it is if you rinse it off
01:26:54.460 that doesn't have salmonella you don't need to put you dish so i mean you're also cooking it so
01:27:00.700 long as you don't undercook it it will kill off whatever the that's why you don't need to
01:27:04.220 exactly that's so it's not the worst idea who's making chicken i mean rare good to add
01:27:09.360 redundancies and operations in case along the way but like eat dish soap you're gonna cook
01:27:14.340 dish soap and fucking put in your blood this is where i depart from uh jose's line of thinking
01:27:19.920 here uh dicky i think it's weird to do but it's like i can understand the logic of like i'm adding
01:27:25.680 in multiple redundancies let me let me backtrack to this because i know this is gonna make this
01:27:29.520 is gonna make my mom there's one with clorox too i believe this video yeah yeah there's one that's
01:27:33.440 real so this is real funny i think and i've been noticing and it seems like an internal struggle
01:27:37.580 like a quiet struggle none of them have admitted it yet but i think that my mom
01:27:41.940 my wife cooks too white so she don't eat what my wife cooks oh look at this that's a joke that's
01:27:49.300 gotta be someone fucking around oh no you gotta rub on look at me rubbing on rub rub rub this man
01:27:55.060 period get into it if you don't put no dish up on your chicken when you're cleaning it then what are
01:27:59.660 you doing you gotta it's gotta be a joke that can't be real there's no way black people are actually
01:28:04.380 doing this there's so many of these i mean i think
01:28:07.580 i'm so bothered this is the most racist i've ever been
01:28:13.400 this is crazy this is one of the black like things things black people do that like
01:28:18.980 like they're like yo nobody else knows about only blacks like this now it's out
01:28:23.320 hey oh oh they're out baby black people be doing this huh we know we know your secrets
01:28:29.200 this is so honest glancing down seeing cole's little icon on her bottom of her screen
01:28:38.000 i know
01:28:38.080 i'm feeling nervous
01:28:41.800 this dish something is what's gonna lead to the return of slavery in america
01:28:47.080 hey for their own protection we kind of got it
01:28:49.800 yeah
01:28:50.820 all right look i had no idea black people were doing that
01:28:55.660 i think it completely changes my perspective
01:28:59.000 i think i think god was right we can't help these people
01:29:03.380 i i i think honestly that they they probably like this explains the iq gap
01:29:08.660 this explains you don't put no dish up on
01:29:11.040 is this what they mean uh by black and chicken when i order it
01:29:16.340 fuck you toad that's funny
01:29:19.860 clorox get the fuck out of here
01:29:23.220 yeah yeah all these people are out of their goddamn mind
01:29:26.440 bleach that chicken
01:29:29.500 that is so dangerous
01:29:31.880 like you're not rinsing off the bleach you're literally putting a chemical on it
01:29:35.740 like at least soap you can justify it'll rinse off
01:29:38.220 all these people are gonna have cancer these people are fucking crazy
01:29:42.660 i use the name brand clorox because the other ones don't taste right
01:29:46.400 get the fuck out of here
01:29:49.020 is this real
01:29:49.880 is this a huge troll am i being fucked with
01:29:52.620 why are you washing your chicken
01:29:57.560 this is why this is why black people jump so high
01:30:00.080 you gotta you gotta wash the chicken before you eat it man
01:30:02.860 you must be doing something wrong
01:30:04.620 look top is this real tell me the truth
01:30:07.880 you're brown you know
01:30:08.860 you're looking at a bunch of different black hands wash chicken
01:30:11.180 i don't know what to tell you
01:30:12.040 did you know this did you know this was a thing
01:30:15.420 am i the only one that's like totally mystified
01:30:17.840 what is this
01:30:18.660 why is no one else surprised
01:30:20.060 why does everyone do a thing
01:30:21.600 i'm more in touch with the hood
01:30:24.840 i don't know what to tell you
01:30:25.840 now that's disgusting
01:30:28.660 when they be like they'll
01:30:29.600 they'll see they'll season their chicken
01:30:31.720 in the in the sink
01:30:32.940 that's why i believe that they actually do wash it
01:30:35.220 i've seen them do that
01:30:36.460 they'll do it all the time
01:30:37.200 and they'll just be throwing all kinds of
01:30:38.840 it's disgusting
01:30:40.340 dude i can't i can't do i cannot do that in the sink
01:30:43.000 i piss in there
01:30:43.980 you shouldn't be doing that either
01:30:46.700 oh i piss in the sink all the time
01:30:48.760 what is it this is more soap right
01:30:50.700 you know what's crazy
01:30:53.200 what if the black community has gotten together to troll us
01:30:57.040 the white community
01:30:58.400 that's how i feel right now dude
01:30:59.500 look at this
01:31:00.140 i mean it's just
01:31:01.060 it's so unnecessary
01:31:02.680 there's no reason to be doing this
01:31:05.140 oh my god
01:31:07.720 what are you
01:31:09.280 what are you
01:31:09.820 them white devils be telling us
01:31:11.660 it's fine and shit
01:31:12.880 this is one of the most infuriating experiences of my life
01:31:16.040 i don't understand what's happening right now
01:31:17.500 wouldn't you be using uh like bath soap
01:31:19.540 instead of dish soap
01:31:20.880 no
01:31:21.220 don't wash it
01:31:22.620 i mean
01:31:23.180 you don't need to wash it
01:31:23.820 i actually get what you mean
01:31:25.180 because bath soap would be
01:31:26.380 like
01:31:27.240 not as hard on it
01:31:28.680 and like uh
01:31:29.440 whereas dish soap is gonna be way harder to rinse off
01:31:31.800 it's gonna be
01:31:32.260 no like well
01:31:32.780 you know like
01:31:33.300 so all right
01:31:34.780 before the
01:31:35.280 before your baby goes to bed
01:31:36.420 you put him in the bath
01:31:37.320 and you give him a little scrub
01:31:39.140 and they wash him off
01:31:39.920 right
01:31:40.060 and then you take him out
01:31:40.920 and then you eat your children
01:31:43.800 i'm just saying like
01:31:45.040 it would seem like
01:31:46.340 they would want to give it a bath
01:31:47.560 before they do this
01:31:48.500 rather than
01:31:49.200 wash it
01:31:50.540 it's not
01:31:50.820 it's not a dirty dish
01:31:51.960 it's
01:31:52.260 i need
01:31:52.980 i need every
01:31:53.820 everybody in the comments
01:31:55.260 i need you to
01:31:55.900 tell me if this is a thing
01:31:57.420 for real
01:31:57.900 and if there's any white people
01:31:59.280 that do the same shit
01:32:00.140 i want you to
01:32:00.880 i want you to admit it
01:32:01.840 go back
01:32:02.460 i need all the black people
01:32:03.840 in the comments
01:32:04.780 if you're a black dude
01:32:06.260 that's here
01:32:06.720 and you do this
01:32:07.540 we will bring you on the show
01:32:08.680 and interview about it
01:32:09.500 did you see that reddit
01:32:10.540 right now
01:32:11.000 the reddit post
01:32:12.000 little dicky just said
01:32:12.760 yeah this one
01:32:13.520 do you read this
01:32:14.280 hi guys
01:32:16.120 i was cooking last night
01:32:17.140 making some chicken breasts
01:32:18.340 i'd spilled some soda
01:32:19.560 on my pants
01:32:20.340 so i was cooking
01:32:21.280 without pants on
01:32:22.500 i moved some trays around
01:32:24.080 and i accidentally dropped
01:32:25.160 a chicken breast
01:32:25.840 on the floor
01:32:26.540 but it hit my penis
01:32:27.800 before it hit the floor
01:32:29.180 this morning
01:32:30.040 my penis seems like
01:32:31.060 it is inflamed
01:32:31.960 and the pee hole hurts
01:32:33.220 if i touch it
01:32:34.080 it's impossible
01:32:34.980 i got salmonella poisoning
01:32:36.580 yes
01:32:37.520 you broke the chicken
01:32:37.880 didn't you
01:32:38.800 all right cool
01:32:40.400 hey guys
01:32:41.460 guys update
01:32:42.880 i think we might be all right
01:32:44.560 but then again
01:32:44.960 oh it's 4chan
01:32:45.760 all right
01:32:46.060 uh i got it
01:32:46.980 we got a message from cole
01:32:48.220 he said baby issues
01:32:49.680 oh yeah
01:32:50.420 like something to do with pumping
01:32:51.720 or some bullshit
01:32:52.560 and he had to go help with a kid
01:32:53.520 uh i also think
01:32:54.880 oh yeah
01:32:55.420 he had to go suck that
01:32:56.380 lying and it's like
01:32:57.000 don't tell them
01:32:57.640 because they've just been
01:32:58.200 ragging on me
01:32:58.700 it's a hundred percent
01:32:59.640 it's a hundred percent
01:33:00.700 her texting from his phone
01:33:02.460 uh benzo
01:33:03.340 i was thinking
01:33:04.060 bass salt chicken
01:33:04.780 now she's too embarrassed
01:33:05.880 to admit she overreacted
01:33:07.360 you know real woman shit
01:33:08.140 you know
01:33:08.460 what do you mean
01:33:08.680 he was he was dead at 10 30
01:33:10.200 he was text messaging
01:33:11.140 his friends at 10 30
01:33:12.260 dude i swear
01:33:13.300 dragging him out
01:33:14.240 in the woods somewhere
01:33:15.060 assuming she's being
01:33:16.020 being crazy
01:33:16.940 if we're taking that line
01:33:18.140 of thinking
01:33:18.620 i think if we hadn't
01:33:20.060 ragged on her
01:33:20.560 when we're bully
01:33:21.200 bullies there for a little bit
01:33:22.720 we probably saved his life
01:33:23.600 yeah we probably saved him
01:33:24.880 on the show
01:33:25.340 like if we had just been like
01:33:26.360 oh my god cole's gone
01:33:27.380 and then just never addressed it
01:33:28.560 we saved the show
01:33:29.360 and he she would have been like
01:33:30.700 you're gonna fucking
01:33:31.380 you're gonna tell those guys
01:33:32.560 you're gonna stand up
01:33:33.260 to them finally
01:33:33.940 like me and you both
01:33:34.960 agree on this right
01:33:35.740 look man
01:33:36.200 this is the one thing
01:33:37.220 that like made us
01:33:38.420 like like we went too far
01:33:40.020 like just bring it back
01:33:41.320 a little bit with the jokes
01:33:42.440 no
01:33:43.080 all right garbage main
01:33:44.420 says this is a thing for real
01:33:45.640 i it's i am i am just
01:33:48.320 i mean i've never seen
01:33:49.340 a black dude do it in the wild
01:33:50.540 you know i mean like
01:33:51.680 but it's a thing
01:33:52.720 look i've never been
01:33:53.800 in a black person's house
01:33:54.760 like for real what's the logic
01:33:56.200 because jose's been some nonsense
01:33:58.280 oh it's gonna fucking
01:33:59.360 fix the salmonella
01:34:01.140 no you cook the fucking meat
01:34:02.920 i agree
01:34:03.380 i'm saying it's a redundancy
01:34:05.600 in the system
01:34:06.220 i'm not saying it's
01:34:07.460 it's it's smart
01:34:08.360 or something you should do
01:34:09.820 it's like if you
01:34:10.880 it's like if you had
01:34:11.620 five redundancies in the system
01:34:13.600 it's like okay
01:34:14.100 you're overdoing it
01:34:14.940 like you can cut out one of those
01:34:16.160 washing your chicken
01:34:17.120 is one of them
01:34:17.540 because you are gonna cook it
01:34:18.560 it's also like you're not
01:34:19.540 getting it for grimy sources
01:34:20.740 you already have enough
01:34:21.700 redundancies in the system
01:34:22.920 to keep yourself
01:34:23.900 from receiving salmonella
01:34:25.160 you rinse the chicken off
01:34:26.420 you don't put dish soap on it
01:34:27.800 you cook the chicken
01:34:28.980 uh to 165
01:34:29.780 i don't even rinse my chicken
01:34:30.880 why are you rinsing chicken
01:34:31.840 rinse the chicken
01:34:32.600 cook it to 165
01:34:33.900 cook cook
01:34:34.420 i mean you are supposed
01:34:35.340 to rinse it though
01:34:35.980 to get kind of like the juice
01:34:37.020 that is a thing
01:34:37.640 but i don't
01:34:38.340 if there's like
01:34:39.640 like excess blood
01:34:40.520 if it's in the package
01:34:41.200 i'll rinse it off
01:34:42.020 but then i'll
01:34:43.140 what i do
01:34:44.140 if you want to have
01:34:44.860 some good flavor and tenderness
01:34:45.980 you gotta marinate it
01:34:46.860 in vinegar
01:34:47.600 and the vinegar actually does
01:34:48.960 it'll kill it too
01:34:50.260 i don't know what the fuck
01:34:51.000 you're doing
01:34:51.740 it's good to rinse it
01:34:52.980 and dry it off
01:34:53.500 depending on what
01:34:54.140 you're doing with it too
01:34:55.080 because you like
01:34:55.520 you don't want it to have
01:34:56.280 like extra
01:34:57.280 like it kind of throws off
01:34:58.200 how you're gonna cook it
01:34:59.000 like if it's like
01:34:59.720 kind of extra wet
01:35:00.640 or whatever you know
01:35:01.740 marinating is good
01:35:03.540 and uh
01:35:04.300 i don't know what this
01:35:05.200 i like this chick
01:35:06.260 but i don't know
01:35:06.700 what her issue is
01:35:07.380 with rosemary
01:35:08.040 because rosemary
01:35:08.700 makes everything better
01:35:09.620 so you cook that chicken
01:35:10.660 throw salt pepper
01:35:11.740 rosemary
01:35:12.760 maybe some like red pepper
01:35:13.920 that shit's good
01:35:16.020 you can manually do rosemary
01:35:17.640 you break it up yourself
01:35:18.700 off the the spring
01:35:19.540 oh yeah
01:35:19.840 oh absolutely
01:35:20.400 so that's what she's saying
01:35:21.320 as opposed to a sprinkle thing
01:35:22.500 pull this comment from junkie jeff
01:35:24.840 i'm fine with either way
01:35:26.000 with rosemary really
01:35:27.040 rinsing is fine
01:35:28.160 the chicken juices
01:35:28.880 in the package stinks
01:35:29.760 you're poor
01:35:31.000 okay
01:35:31.860 you're going to a fucking store
01:35:33.440 and you're buying poor people food
01:35:34.960 i've never had fucking chicken
01:35:36.120 that stinks
01:35:36.600 if i did i'd throw it away
01:35:37.780 because i'm not fucking poor
01:35:39.100 you're poor junkie jeff
01:35:40.420 stop being poor
01:35:41.480 so you don't have to put soap
01:35:42.580 on your fucking chicken
01:35:43.400 you poor bitch
01:35:44.360 i was trying to think
01:35:46.060 of like one of those
01:35:46.660 expensive places
01:35:47.620 that people go
01:35:48.180 like the nice places
01:35:49.220 uh but i couldn't even
01:35:50.420 think of one
01:35:50.840 you know the nice
01:35:52.980 you know what i'm talking
01:35:54.080 about the
01:35:54.320 like there's the
01:35:55.120 you have like your normal
01:35:56.120 like public
01:35:56.820 correct
01:35:57.700 you have your public
01:35:58.680 you know uh
01:35:59.760 win dixie
01:36:00.800 but then you have like
01:36:01.600 what's it
01:36:02.080 whole foods
01:36:02.980 that's what i was trying
01:36:03.600 to think of
01:36:03.960 like whole foods
01:36:04.540 that's the only place
01:36:05.860 clint
01:36:06.080 because i actually agree
01:36:07.140 with junkie jeff
01:36:07.920 uh depending
01:36:08.620 it's not always
01:36:09.540 but there's a lot of times
01:36:10.760 you get chicken
01:36:11.180 and it's not a strong stink
01:36:12.880 but like you're like
01:36:13.820 i don't know whatever
01:36:14.620 i don't really want that
01:36:15.400 flavor mixing in
01:36:16.460 or that extra like
01:36:17.400 you know chicken juice
01:36:18.540 mixing in with all the stuff
01:36:19.500 i'm gonna rinse it off
01:36:20.340 the excess off
01:36:21.360 throw it in the skillet
01:36:22.680 you know what
01:36:22.940 this this theory
01:36:23.660 this this is the correct
01:36:25.080 theory actually
01:36:25.740 blacks uh wash
01:36:27.400 their chicken in dish soap
01:36:28.460 because they're
01:36:29.180 because they're so poor
01:36:30.680 that they only buy
01:36:31.880 like the most poor
01:36:33.200 chicken that they can find
01:36:34.440 that's why they do it
01:36:36.060 i always don't smell
01:36:37.560 i always i always watch
01:36:39.260 or i always just stick to the show
01:36:40.920 and i don't watch the comments
01:36:42.140 i flipped over to the comments
01:36:43.140 and now i can't focus
01:36:44.020 on the show at all
01:36:44.560 because our comment section
01:36:45.320 is so goddamn funny
01:36:46.120 i totally understand
01:36:47.000 why i love the community
01:36:48.040 i love it
01:36:48.800 we've cultivated a great community
01:36:50.060 here
01:36:50.320 they don't even come here for us
01:36:51.540 they're just chatting here
01:36:52.820 no i'm good with it
01:36:54.000 you know
01:36:54.280 keep riffing on jokes
01:36:55.400 we should probably start
01:36:56.500 trying to bring them up more
01:36:57.440 but i don't trust
01:36:58.260 a little dicky selection
01:36:59.520 i'll have to start doing
01:37:00.640 more of my own
01:37:01.200 look and
01:37:02.300 i can't do it on my end
01:37:03.240 at tower game
01:37:03.900 we all uh
01:37:04.640 we watch out for each other
01:37:06.240 and the gang as well
01:37:07.260 so uh we're keeping the gang together
01:37:09.040 that's what we did tonight
01:37:10.100 sort of
01:37:11.360 it's a weird way to wrap it up
01:37:13.600 with our morality in the story
01:37:14.880 oh i know he's back
01:37:15.520 i've never heard chicken in my fucking life
01:37:18.800 thank you benzo barbie
01:37:19.940 you are a white queen
01:37:21.160 i'm so racist right now
01:37:23.480 i'm so offended
01:37:24.340 that there's fucking idiots out there
01:37:26.740 that are soaping down their chicken
01:37:28.100 fuck
01:37:28.520 you know how much
01:37:29.040 you know how much
01:37:30.220 that soapy chicken
01:37:30.940 you probably ate
01:37:31.660 think about that
01:37:33.160 blacks
01:37:33.700 blacks
01:37:35.700 wait what was that
01:37:36.860 when you do a
01:37:37.220 saw adams clint russell
01:37:38.660 face matchup
01:37:39.820 they would work well
01:37:40.620 they have similar-ish faces
01:37:42.020 you know
01:37:42.420 look when i say
01:37:43.360 when i say blacks
01:37:44.260 i envision myself
01:37:45.840 as gilbert gottfried
01:37:47.000 that's what i'm doing
01:37:47.660 it's like
01:37:47.920 you should get mary july on the show
01:37:50.220 and ask if he cooks
01:37:51.260 if he was
01:37:51.800 you know i actually feel like
01:37:53.420 you'd be probably pretty funny
01:37:54.700 if we brought him
01:37:55.280 straight up
01:37:55.780 shit like that
01:37:56.880 that has to be criteria
01:37:58.320 if we like
01:37:58.920 every black guest we have
01:38:00.140 we just be like
01:38:00.600 yeah yeah
01:38:00.980 so what are you doing next
01:38:01.820 do you wash chicken
01:38:03.360 never mind
01:38:04.420 and we're like
01:38:06.380 no
01:38:06.640 but like
01:38:06.980 well you
01:38:07.280 you have to know
01:38:08.040 some other brothers
01:38:08.900 i mean the odds of us
01:38:10.560 ever having another black guest
01:38:11.780 are nil
01:38:12.540 but like if we do
01:38:13.580 i am absolutely asking
01:38:15.040 let's get
01:38:15.680 back on
01:38:16.900 ask him that
01:38:17.720 and then kick him out
01:38:18.540 of the show
01:38:19.020 dude if patriot j
01:38:20.780 washes his chicken
01:38:22.380 with soap
01:38:22.940 like
01:38:23.180 fuck
01:38:23.900 yo for real
01:38:24.560 patriot j
01:38:25.660 and
01:38:26.020 and olivia ronda
01:38:27.360 they're the type of
01:38:28.000 yeah the type of black people
01:38:28.880 to wash their chicken for real
01:38:30.300 100%
01:38:30.820 damn it
01:38:31.260 that's so offensive man
01:38:32.400 dude this sucks
01:38:33.500 because
01:38:33.800 in the genocide bracket
01:38:35.680 you know what i actually feel like
01:38:36.100 hotel probably
01:38:36.780 and he probably has some
01:38:38.920 like intricate explanation
01:38:40.220 for it
01:38:40.840 dude
01:38:41.060 this is a new term
01:38:42.460 we should
01:38:43.040 this
01:38:44.220 dude this is a new
01:38:45.300 yes
01:38:45.960 this is a new term
01:38:47.440 it's a chicken washer
01:38:49.280 yeah dude exactly
01:38:51.120 oh my god
01:38:51.760 you just thought of a great insult
01:38:53.220 the next time
01:38:53.780 you talk to a homage
01:38:55.000 didn't you
01:38:55.400 that's what i was just
01:38:56.520 about to say
01:38:57.140 dude instead of
01:38:59.640 movie talker
01:39:00.680 movie talker
01:39:01.840 is
01:39:02.000 chicken
01:39:03.540 with a banger
01:39:05.000 yeah
01:39:06.000 you know what
01:39:10.940 we don't fucking need you
01:39:12.020 cool
01:39:12.300 oh my god
01:39:16.540 oh man
01:39:18.020 we need to send all the
01:39:19.380 chicken washers back to
01:39:20.280 african
01:39:20.560 our comment section
01:39:22.000 our comment section
01:39:23.360 our comment section
01:39:24.640 is literally just listing
01:39:25.860 all of the black
01:39:26.840 libertarians
01:39:27.720 there's no way
01:39:32.540 hell in hell
01:39:33.160 thomas
01:39:33.620 and i bet you
01:39:36.180 he looks down
01:39:36.760 with such derision
01:39:37.800 on every black
01:39:38.660 he does
01:39:39.180 we should have
01:39:40.460 did a black
01:39:41.000 bracket
01:39:41.780 it's called
01:39:42.520 a black
01:39:43.340 oh my god
01:39:45.380 all the black
01:39:45.900 libertarians
01:39:46.480 debate if they
01:39:47.300 would wash
01:39:47.720 their chicken
01:39:48.200 the next
01:39:49.040 tournament idea
01:39:49.740 please
01:39:51.760 if we have
01:39:53.800 oh them jesus
01:39:54.480 on we gotta
01:39:55.220 have a list
01:39:56.320 look
01:39:56.820 it won't be
01:39:58.500 tournament but we
01:39:59.340 have to decide
01:40:00.180 chicken wash
01:40:01.000 or not
01:40:01.680 i'm down i'm down
01:40:03.320 to do that with
01:40:03.880 with hotep but i
01:40:04.660 don't want to do a
01:40:05.120 bracket but just like
01:40:05.880 just one segment
01:40:07.040 that'd be funny as
01:40:07.720 fuck
01:40:07.960 so you guys
01:40:11.900 you guys like
01:40:12.700 uh like these
01:40:13.760 like games but you
01:40:14.960 don't like the
01:40:15.540 format of a bracket
01:40:16.680 that's the thing
01:40:17.540 thomas soul would
01:40:18.500 never thank you
01:40:19.400 benzo i agree
01:40:20.780 thomas soul is the
01:40:22.360 only uh libertarian
01:40:23.580 adjacent black who
01:40:24.800 is not a chicken
01:40:25.400 washer thomas soul
01:40:26.380 would come up with
01:40:27.240 theory that would
01:40:27.940 justify being racist
01:40:29.300 against people who
01:40:30.060 do like that's the
01:40:31.440 kind of black he is
01:40:32.640 let me tell you
01:40:34.440 of washing a chicken
01:40:35.720 is so great
01:40:37.860 it's probably like
01:40:39.260 oh man
01:40:40.180 black it yes
01:40:42.260 it's probably like
01:40:44.640 black people would be
01:40:45.240 like yo i'm so
01:40:46.240 black like you know
01:40:47.460 that they'll say
01:40:47.920 like some like
01:40:48.500 like shit that's
01:40:49.120 like a not even a
01:40:50.080 stereotype but for
01:40:50.800 like black people do
01:40:51.920 like i'm so black i
01:40:52.900 still wash my
01:40:53.500 chicken i swear to
01:40:54.860 god i bet you they
01:40:55.640 say that and you
01:40:56.280 don't know about it
01:40:57.060 this is like oh
01:40:57.600 yeah you know
01:40:58.400 you ever see that
01:40:59.340 keen peel skit where
01:41:00.460 they're like at some
01:41:01.840 like you know
01:41:02.380 southern restaurant
01:41:03.120 these are like kind
01:41:03.740 of like almost like
01:41:04.420 white black dudes
01:41:05.780 if you know like
01:41:06.300 they're like in
01:41:06.780 suits like clearly
01:41:07.500 like and they're
01:41:08.200 kind of trying to
01:41:08.720 prove to each other
01:41:09.400 how hood they are
01:41:10.040 and they can they
01:41:10.820 can keep outdoing
01:41:11.600 each other and be
01:41:12.220 like you know
01:41:12.600 what i'll get the
01:41:13.720 chitlins and
01:41:14.420 you know what
01:41:14.820 never mind
01:41:15.200 cancel that order
01:41:17.460 uh cow hoof
01:41:18.980 little dicky has
01:41:21.000 uh has an
01:41:21.460 you know what
01:41:21.800 fuck it give me
01:41:22.560 some of that
01:41:23.000 dawn washed
01:41:23.800 chicken
01:41:24.240 dawn washed
01:41:27.200 yes
01:41:27.560 little dicky has
01:41:28.760 an interesting
01:41:29.220 idea what we
01:41:29.840 can do is
01:41:30.180 that chicken
01:41:31.280 look dawn
01:41:31.780 water
01:41:32.040 we can take
01:41:33.600 all the black
01:41:34.500 uh libertarians
01:41:35.420 and uh like
01:41:36.920 figure out which
01:41:37.660 one meets the
01:41:38.400 most black
01:41:39.100 stereotypes
01:41:39.780 i take your
01:41:40.480 dawn washed
01:41:41.240 chicken and
01:41:41.860 raise you some
01:41:42.760 motherfucking
01:41:43.520 bleach chicken
01:41:44.440 oh you got the
01:41:46.740 you got the
01:41:47.280 store brand
01:41:48.080 clorox
01:41:48.800 are they a
01:41:49.560 movie talker
01:41:50.940 oh hey
01:41:51.220 jesse lee
01:41:51.720 peterson we
01:41:52.240 gotta circle
01:41:52.800 that shit
01:41:53.680 they use in
01:41:54.480 laboratories
01:41:55.420 jesse lee
01:41:56.080 peterson even
01:41:56.860 though he's like
01:41:57.520 very racist
01:41:58.400 against black
01:41:58.940 he 100% still
01:42:00.360 washes his
01:42:01.080 chicken because
01:42:02.060 he's probably
01:42:02.520 been doing it
01:42:03.120 like it's
01:42:03.580 probably some
01:42:03.980 slave shit like
01:42:04.800 it goes back to
01:42:05.420 the slaves that
01:42:05.940 we don't know
01:42:06.320 about you know
01:42:07.360 i bet it i bet
01:42:07.980 it's because they
01:42:08.380 were getting the
01:42:08.780 scraps off the
01:42:09.340 table so they
01:42:09.860 had to wash it
01:42:10.480 before they ate
01:42:11.060 it and now
01:42:12.080 i bet you he
01:42:14.020 will make the
01:42:14.500 argument that
01:42:15.580 it's like the
01:42:16.440 the shitty i bet
01:42:18.420 you jesse lee
01:42:19.120 pierce would find
01:42:19.860 a way to twist it
01:42:20.660 that it's like the
01:42:21.340 shitty black people
01:42:22.300 that don't wash
01:42:23.280 the chicken i
01:42:24.260 guarantee you he
01:42:24.900 would do some
01:42:25.300 shit like that
01:42:26.180 it's probably it's
01:42:27.860 probably like the
01:42:28.420 one part of his
01:42:29.140 blackness that he
01:42:29.980 holds on to and
01:42:31.060 won't like apologize
01:42:32.580 the crazy thing is
01:42:33.460 he probably has no
01:42:34.620 idea how stupid it
01:42:35.660 is too because he's
01:42:36.400 just been doing it
01:42:37.020 forever it's like
01:42:37.680 he's like oh fuck
01:42:38.700 i am black wait
01:42:39.700 you don't believe in
01:42:41.040 tradition you gotta
01:42:43.700 wash the demons
01:42:44.680 away you've been
01:42:45.820 pissing out your
01:42:46.560 asshole eating that
01:42:47.860 unwashed chickens
01:42:49.400 that's the main
01:42:51.980 reason they hate
01:42:52.700 white people
01:42:53.280 you know these
01:42:56.820 cavemen eating
01:42:57.760 they unwashed
01:42:58.560 chickens what if
01:43:00.880 chicken washing
01:43:01.680 what if it's
01:43:02.240 actual what if
01:43:03.240 it's actually
01:43:03.580 cultural appropriation
01:43:05.400 what if uh no
01:43:10.620 what if chicken
01:43:11.960 washing is cultural
01:43:12.960 appropriation because
01:43:14.060 what happened was
01:43:14.820 the the slaves were
01:43:16.500 uh slaughtering the
01:43:17.380 chickens and the
01:43:18.180 white and the white
01:43:18.960 people were like we
01:43:19.820 gotta wash this
01:43:20.520 chicken that's been
01:43:21.260 you know handled by
01:43:22.940 the black slaves we
01:43:24.420 gotta wash this
01:43:25.060 chicken and then
01:43:25.660 they wanted to be
01:43:26.220 more like the white
01:43:26.940 people we have to be
01:43:28.040 more uh
01:43:28.920 more culture we gotta
01:43:32.260 wash this chicken
01:43:33.520 you think
01:43:34.320 they're like
01:43:34.860 they got like
01:43:36.880 a black
01:43:37.560 there's a black
01:43:38.940 person catering
01:43:39.760 company that just
01:43:40.580 like like they'd be
01:43:41.160 like we make so
01:43:41.780 much chicken we just
01:43:42.600 put it in the
01:43:43.060 washing machine at
01:43:43.800 this point
01:43:44.220 the hand washing it
01:43:45.820 was close enough to
01:43:46.880 a nickel and a dime
01:43:47.660 i guarantee you
01:43:50.900 jesse pearson's
01:43:51.740 argument for why
01:43:53.160 you should wash
01:43:53.900 your shit is
01:43:54.940 probably something
01:43:55.680 like that's the
01:43:57.200 problem with all
01:43:57.680 these young boys
01:43:58.460 these days they
01:43:59.360 don't care no bit
01:44:00.440 about you know
01:44:02.040 fuck you we just
01:44:03.480 created the greatest
01:44:04.940 slur of 2023
01:44:06.920 right yeah
01:44:07.840 baby it's the title
01:44:09.260 of the episode we're
01:44:10.260 going on we don't
01:44:11.620 don't even put a
01:44:12.460 poll out this episode
01:44:13.380 is called chicken
01:44:13.980 washers 100%
01:44:14.960 all right i want to
01:44:16.340 do it anyway we're
01:44:17.080 at the greatest
01:44:17.480 we was clean
01:44:19.080 all right guys
01:44:22.500 let's get let's
01:44:23.980 get the fuck out
01:44:24.620 of here this is
01:44:25.120 why i know we're
01:44:26.520 at a high note we're
01:44:27.200 at an hour 45 i can
01:44:28.580 fucking riff off this
01:44:29.740 for 25 more minutes
01:44:30.740 no i gotta pee really
01:44:31.740 bad oh go pee go
01:44:33.120 pee come on we
01:44:34.540 need i need the
01:44:35.080 comments just keep
01:44:35.840 coming keep giving
01:44:36.600 me more and more
01:44:37.260 this is look malcolm x
01:44:38.640 his name is just a few
01:44:39.680 letters off from i'm
01:44:40.640 gonna come i'm gonna
01:44:41.820 come clean with the
01:44:42.540 audience and i'm not
01:44:43.300 sure this is related
01:44:44.300 but i did take an
01:44:45.760 edible like right
01:44:46.540 before we started
01:44:47.320 the guys told me to
01:44:48.700 do it i didn't tell
01:44:49.340 clint i said let's
01:44:50.120 not tell clint let's
01:44:50.860 see if he can
01:44:51.240 realize but now
01:44:52.220 i'm trying to
01:44:52.960 that's him in a
01:44:55.400 tropic thunder i
01:44:56.540 believe
01:44:56.880 blackface robert
01:44:58.840 donnie
01:44:59.240 i had i had no idea
01:45:02.360 i think there's a
01:45:03.720 correlation between
01:45:04.700 what's going on now
01:45:06.060 and what i did and
01:45:07.520 that's a dangerous
01:45:08.160 thing because like i'm
01:45:08.960 not going to do this
01:45:09.540 all the time i just
01:45:10.280 did this dude oh man
01:45:12.800 if you get if you get
01:45:14.260 retardation if you eat
01:45:16.360 fucking chicken washes
01:45:17.460 if you if you eat if
01:45:19.580 you eat chicken that
01:45:20.500 you've washed in dish
01:45:21.680 soap and you get
01:45:22.340 retired from it is that
01:45:23.740 don syndrome
01:45:24.900 don l rollins
01:45:27.220 i'm trying to think of
01:45:31.740 a name that works with
01:45:32.580 clorox but i can't
01:45:33.480 figure it out
01:45:34.020 what's the time what's
01:45:35.060 the time frame that the
01:45:35.860 first white person gets
01:45:36.960 gets killed for calling a
01:45:38.180 black person a chicken
01:45:39.040 washer and and everyone's
01:45:40.580 just like well he did
01:45:41.200 call him a chicken
01:45:42.500 washer
01:45:42.900 oh shit the next time
01:45:45.080 toad is on public
01:45:46.000 transportation there's
01:45:47.060 gonna be a black dude
01:45:47.700 who heard about this and
01:45:48.900 they're gonna hunt toad's
01:45:49.920 ass down it's gonna be
01:45:50.640 great oh i i i hope i
01:45:53.020 encounter some tower
01:45:53.840 game
01:45:54.020 the beauty of this
01:45:56.180 chicken washer thing i
01:45:58.080 feel like the chicken
01:45:58.700 washer thing is like
01:45:59.900 oh my god this this is
01:46:12.640 our next stop black or
01:46:13.960 whack by the way
01:46:14.880 this is black or whack
01:46:19.400 right here
01:46:19.940 yo legion of skanks
01:46:21.620 fuck you i know i work
01:46:23.460 for you guys but fuck
01:46:24.440 you i'm telling you this
01:46:25.880 is like all right that's
01:46:26.840 pretty good
01:46:27.400 it all makes sense now
01:46:33.180 that's why you had it
01:46:34.420 wow
01:46:35.840 yo they they keep you
01:46:37.820 know how you keep
01:46:38.280 clorox under the sink
01:46:39.300 it was in a hot sauce
01:46:39.340 bottle too wasn't it
01:46:40.760 he put bleach in a
01:46:42.040 hot sauce bottle i think
01:46:42.940 that's what it was
01:46:43.440 that's like two at once
01:46:47.460 you know and they
01:46:48.960 poured it on juicy
01:46:51.140 oh that is incredible
01:46:53.540 this is the greatest
01:46:54.360 thing that's ever
01:46:54.920 happened
01:46:55.260 and cole is just being
01:46:58.620 like cole has like two
01:46:59.840 pieces of wood between
01:47:00.740 his legs and he's tied
01:47:01.740 to the bed
01:47:02.320 honey i'm sorry
01:47:04.820 cole's dead so he'll
01:47:07.320 never know
01:47:07.860 oh my god i can't
01:47:09.220 believe they maybe they
01:47:10.420 thought that they thought
01:47:11.500 jesse was a dirty chicken
01:47:12.860 they were just trying to
01:47:15.920 clean him
01:47:16.700 i think they were just
01:47:22.180 way ahead of the curve
01:47:23.060 coming up we're gonna get
01:47:25.020 a rebound later you know
01:47:26.580 what i mean like like oh
01:47:27.580 shit bleach they were
01:47:29.120 thinking ahead with the
01:47:29.960 racism
01:47:30.380 oh man
01:47:33.360 i feel like i'm gonna
01:47:33.720 have a heart attack
01:47:34.240 this is the greatest
01:47:34.880 thing that's ever
01:47:35.340 happened
01:47:35.600 my god god bless
01:47:37.020 our check god bless
01:47:38.080 you guys this is so
01:47:39.060 clean yay
01:47:39.720 clean yay
01:47:40.300 oh yo
01:47:44.940 wb to bubbles
01:47:46.620 yo
01:47:47.180 that's so dope
01:47:48.860 that is so dope
01:47:50.020 that's so retarded
01:47:51.100 he's my favorite
01:47:53.720 oh my god
01:47:55.240 for real
01:47:55.540 let's get the fuck
01:47:56.200 out of here
01:47:56.460 i think jose's right
01:47:57.340 let's end this shit
01:47:57.960 on a high note
01:47:58.640 i love everybody here
01:48:00.240 fucking next person
01:48:01.580 just call if you if
01:48:02.780 your boss is black just
01:48:03.740 call him a chicken
01:48:04.340 washer he has no idea
01:48:05.600 this is a great shit
01:48:06.400 ever get this thing
01:48:07.200 going hey let me just
01:48:08.120 say too i will not be
01:48:09.100 here next wednesday i'm
01:48:10.000 gonna be in colorado so
01:48:11.100 if you're come out see
01:48:12.300 me at uh liberty on the
01:48:14.660 rocks on wednesday and
01:48:15.480 then on saturday i'll be
01:48:16.340 speaking at lp colorado
01:48:17.320 we're out
01:48:17.620 yeah exactly
01:48:20.580 okay i've