Ep 209 -Tim Infinity Pool
Episode Stats
Length
1 hour and 36 minutes
Words per Minute
196.16768
Hate Speech Sentences
158
Summary
Todd, Cole, Jose, Top Lobster, and the rest of the Midget Wrestling Crew discuss the current state of the midget wrestling league and the history of the whole thing. We also talk about the new women's division of the MWWL, the new Women's World Championship and much more!
Transcript
00:00:00.000
When it's time to play, it's easy to find your next favorite game with Fodog.
00:00:05.420
Play free casino games, get poker tips, and check out the latest sports odds.
00:00:15.060
Thank you for the medical team behind you, and I'm sure they will keep America safe.
00:00:20.960
As far as your tip to India, Mr. President, where do we go from here?
00:00:26.360
Mr. President, you are very famous in India, and Mr. President, you are very famous in America.
00:00:43.380
As much as dumb stuff as black people do, and as often as they go to prison, where do they keep coming from?
00:00:53.000
If you want a million dollar idea, right there you go.
00:00:55.560
Put some beans in a dildo, fuck the dildo, and then sell the beans.
00:01:12.680
I feel like what I say about black people one day is going to come to bite me in the ass.
00:01:30.940
Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to a new introduction to Tower Gang.
00:01:42.100
You're currently watching my other show, but you'll be here soon.
00:01:45.700
We've got Top Lobster, the progenitor of TopLobster.com.
00:01:48.400
We've got Cole, the progenitor of the Midget Wrestling Federation.
00:01:52.220
We've got Jose, the former champion of the Midget Wrestling Federation, and also the host of No Way Jose.
00:01:59.560
We've got the degenerate gambler, 40-year-old virgin, the fucking star of the show, T-O-double-D.
00:02:13.880
Do you think the actual champion of the Midget Wrestling League is more famous than we are?
00:02:22.280
I think there'll be a step up if we were just like, I do a podcast called Tower Gang, and they're like, what?
00:02:26.740
And they go, I'm the Midget Champion of the world.
00:02:29.900
And they'll be like, oh, yeah, I've heard of you.
00:02:35.300
So, the guy that does the comedy club over here, he does Midget Wrestling, and they had, like, fucking 400 people.
00:02:49.700
And that wasn't even the champion of the world.
00:02:52.220
We're not even as famous as just a random Midget Wrestling event.
00:02:59.680
The Midget, like, WrestleMania better be called small cost, though.
00:03:05.160
Apparently, Zoe Skye, she regained the MWW Women's title in a hard-fought contest over Valentina Loka.
00:03:14.840
But the men's Midget Wrestling, the MMWL, it actually is, like, supporting the MWWL.
00:03:30.340
What I'm saying here is that's the main league, Cole, and the Dwarfenators came to fucking middle-of-nowhere Florida and did more ticket sales than us.
00:03:45.040
Dude, I want to become trans and join the women's midget wrestling.
00:03:58.400
Like, not live, but, like, just things about it.
00:04:06.180
What's up with the Rastafari who's still afraid of COVID?
00:04:09.700
The one right next to him that has a slicked-back hair.
00:04:28.040
Do you think the podcast about the Dwarf Wrestling League is bigger than our podcast?
00:04:36.980
They're just like, dude, Tiny Tim fucking killed it this week.
00:04:52.900
And it was a little blue guy with, like, just a hand puppet blue guy.
00:04:56.780
And he would be like, hey, guys, we're going to talk about Roman Reigns today.
00:05:00.040
And I would fucking listen to the shit out of that.
00:05:19.020
Dude, these guys are like real-life Funko Pops.
00:05:30.540
For those that are listening, we're just scrolling through the lineup.
00:05:39.700
And at the bottom, two of them are dead already.
00:05:54.540
If you Google how Mike Hawk died, I don't think you're going to find the results that you're looking for.
00:06:10.060
You guys are both looking at Mike Hawk right now.
00:06:18.980
This is an obituary for a guy named Michael Hawk in 2020.
00:06:44.680
Look at this fat black guy sitting there in the corner just fucking tired.
00:06:55.160
Like, we should go see an event and just get crazy with it because this looks fucking cool.
00:06:59.520
There's an underground wrestling event that you can only get tickets to in L.A. like the
00:07:07.700
I forget the name of it, but I went there with all my buddies, and I'm telling you, it's only
00:07:12.420
two rows, two rows surrounding the entire, like, square for the wrestlers, and they jumped
00:07:23.240
This was full size, and it was fucking, it was like the feeder league to the pros, but
00:07:33.800
I want to know what the height cut on it is for this.
00:07:39.880
Dude, you guys, you, dude, Jose, you would die.
00:08:15.440
Is this your way of saying, hey, step up the content?
00:08:18.340
No, I'm just saying, like, let's keep the conversation flowing.
00:08:44.500
And you get to find the hidden boobies in every episode.
00:09:04.400
The new format is we bullshit for, like, 10 to 15 to maybe 30 minutes.
00:09:15.080
So if you guys want to super chat us, you could send them in now.
00:09:18.000
After the laney edit, we will address them all.
00:09:21.560
Is the super chat, does that also include the mailbag?
00:09:35.200
So that's what we've been doing the entire show.
00:10:06.940
We can literally do this where we go, ha-ha boobs, ha-ha boobs, ha-ha boobs.
00:10:11.380
And it's like, well, technically, they're fine.
00:10:20.500
Clint, I'm going to break it down for why this is legal on YouTube.
00:10:23.960
It's because YouTube has already imported all the Jeets to do their software and all their ad moderation.
00:10:37.820
She has her both titties out in the thumbnail with the fake baby.
00:11:19.760
Can you imagine not seeing the thumbnail and being like, hell, yeah, I'm getting ready to see these
00:11:29.400
The thumbnail is just like, it's like they could have chosen a better angle.
00:11:34.120
I'm saying that's Toad right there on the right.
00:11:38.280
That's just Toad whenever he sees one doing that.
00:11:44.580
You know how fucking insulting it is that I have done so many shows.
00:11:51.040
I have never come close to getting as many views on that one I have.
00:11:55.720
But any of the 100K plus ones, I've never come close.
00:12:10.240
They show like the hotter chick in the thumbnail.
00:12:21.540
Ellie Breastfeeding is the fucking account name.
00:13:08.780
I don't know how OnlyFans work, you fucking sicko.
00:13:18.100
And that's why there's been no additional new content.
00:13:29.940
What are the dong videos that are made that are educational that can be shown full on?
00:13:35.040
Do you think if we could Clint and he got to just like move a baby doll around his penis
00:13:43.500
I have a feeling that would get me banned quite a bit faster.
00:13:50.120
Clint, if you were like, this is how you check your dick for herpes and then you just like
00:13:53.380
showed your dick like underneath, look at the top, all clean, no herpes, next video.
00:13:58.840
And every day you fucking post, checking my dick for herpes again.
00:14:10.000
You have a ruler set up beside it and you're just always just like still the same fucking
00:14:18.880
No, I think there are instructional videos on how to masturbate, I think.
00:14:25.820
I thought we did a bit on this before, but maybe not.
00:14:28.480
But maybe if you put how to check your dick for cancer, but it's just you jerking it.
00:14:31.940
So it looks like you're like, you're like, this is how you, you got to just feel it as
00:14:35.020
you go and see if you don't feel for any bumps.
00:14:38.840
The dick is you whack because that way you can feel where the bumps actually are.
00:14:41.920
Well, there was always, there was, I think we talked about the, uh, the butthole, um,
00:14:57.420
Uh, Toad, Toad, you can watch buttholes on YouTube.
00:15:00.460
Do me a favor, unplug your mic, plug your mic back in, Toad, please.
00:15:04.680
Plug it out and plug it back in over and over and just keep.
00:15:07.220
Yeah, but like video it and do it slowly and then post, this is how I master it.
00:15:11.900
Yeah, I know they did the bit on the buttholes, but I'm confused like if there is an actual
00:15:15.780
like, and I remember them saying, oh my God, it's, it's, it's a real thing.
00:15:48.220
Dude, it's like, I swear we could just play these sort of loopholes in the background.
00:15:53.140
I can't believe I could just do this and make money, dude.
00:16:00.060
Toad, Toad, if you had a, like, this is, Toad, this would be great.
00:16:03.820
They have, like, penis balls, butt cracking pits.
00:16:06.680
You know how they have fusion, like, fusion food.
00:16:09.780
Like, you can have, like, Asian, like, barbecue and stuff like that.
00:16:18.680
Toad needs to have a fusion YouTube that is hot sauce and manscaping.
00:16:24.740
I don't have, like, a typical manly, like, super hairy chest.
00:16:43.560
To, like, kind of shave these areas when I was seeing somebody.
00:16:47.840
And I wanted to be, like, fully, fully hairless.
00:16:55.380
Like, I put, like, my middle finger, like, above my index after grabbing it.
00:17:04.440
Because whenever you're just trying to squeeze like that, you get some leverage and some
00:17:10.640
Yeah, most people don't have fucking nipple hairs long enough to do that.
00:17:36.080
He's not showing it, though, so we don't know how he's doing it.
00:17:48.540
I don't know what we're even doing here anymore.
00:17:51.820
This guy, like, kind of manscapes, like I also do, and this guy is obviously gay.
00:17:57.260
And, by the way, I'm less repulsed about this than the breastfeeding videos, by the way.
00:18:09.120
I'm trying to wrap my head around it, and I just can't.
00:18:11.680
I mean, they're both terrible, but, like, obviously it's not as bad.
00:18:17.520
The other one is just trying, like, is just trying to get away.
00:18:23.520
You really think a tutorial on how to pull your nipple hair, you're that fucking retard,
00:18:27.860
you need to be walked through how to pull a nipple hair.
00:18:32.100
You just never put any salt into it whatsoever?
00:18:35.800
You never stopped and thought, how could I reinvent the wheel here?
00:18:38.760
You pinch, and then you use the leverage of the top finger, and you spin.
00:18:53.620
Leave me to the gaze to know how to add a third finger.
00:19:04.020
Yeah, it's definitely not something I could jerk off.
00:19:05.520
I could podcast for a thousand years and never get as many views as a man shaping his own
00:19:15.000
Yeah, but think about the conversion rate to paying for their...
00:19:25.460
I had to delete my catalog when I was sitting on two strikes, so I can't tabulate.
00:19:30.480
I'm going to say, imagine, that would be a really funny thing to do, is start putting
00:19:35.140
out benchmarks, like mile markers of just, like, I finally got past this butthole shaving
00:20:00.840
I mean, you could just chill on rumble until the strikes cool off.
00:20:10.520
No, the reason I deleted it is because I was sitting on two strikes, and the second strike
00:20:14.200
I got was for some shit a year prior after I got a strike, and then I was like, oh,
00:20:21.060
David, if you're watching this right now, delete everything.
00:20:33.740
Matt Reif came on, and he said that ionized water is okay sometimes.
00:20:44.880
What are they banning our natural medicines so they can push theirs?
00:20:48.140
Maybe if Suja Wojcicki would have drank some ionized water, she wouldn't have died of cancer,
00:20:52.260
and her fucking son wouldn't have died of whatever fucking bullshit he was doing.
00:21:02.120
Why do I need ionized water if the rifle machine cures everything else?
00:21:19.140
I smoke cigarettes all day just because I have the rifle machine, so I know I can cure
00:21:25.140
Smoking crack in front of the rifle machine as it's playing.
00:21:31.040
The rifle machine just wipes it out right away.
00:21:33.220
The rifle machine actually makes me four words.
00:21:35.340
Can we do something like that where we try doing crazy...
00:21:46.020
Tonight, we're going to try doing cocaine with a rifle machine.
00:21:51.580
You two might allow it because we can say it's educational.
00:22:14.300
Mark Vestibule is giving us the wholesome Christmas content here with what does Mrs.
00:22:29.820
You think her pussy smells bad enough that Santa's got to use the coal technique?
00:22:40.040
Well, I mean, if Santa Claus is eating her out, it's going to be cookies and milk, right?
00:22:53.500
Like, if you eat your girl's pussy a lot, does her pussy start smelling like your breath?
00:23:01.400
If your girl's pussy doesn't smell like your breath, you're not doing it enough.
00:23:12.880
Like, you're going down and you're like, God, I need to brush my teeth.
00:23:19.840
You got to conquer it, man, to the point where it smells like your mouth.
00:23:25.000
I've been doing this thing with my wife where I won't eat her out for like the last month.
00:24:02.800
But if you want to talk with us after Eleni, Eddie, you can go ahead and fucking give us
00:24:42.760
Did you know Rudolph the Reindeer had a brother?
00:24:49.600
And when he saw Jew reindeer, you could see his anger grow.
00:24:53.380
All of the Jewish reindeer stole his money with their schemes.
00:24:57.180
He watched Tom Ludic reindeer play money lenders.
00:25:02.760
Then he noticed patterns show here and everywhere.
00:25:07.200
Adolf with his death so bright started his Reich that very night.
00:25:24.980
Rudolph is based on a Jewish person, Rockefeller.
00:25:31.720
How would a reindeer be based off of Rockefeller?
00:25:34.380
It had something to do with the Great Depression.
00:25:39.220
That's why all the attention is paid on his nose.
00:25:44.480
The Rockefellers commissioned Rudolph as a project from Edward Bernays.
00:26:04.740
Guys, you can scan the QR code in the bottom right-hand corner, join the pre-chat and the
00:26:11.520
I'm trying to let you live a little bit, Cole, because you've been fucking stinking it up.
00:26:28.780
You don't have any other podcasts, so what's the excuse?
00:26:54.300
Victor, if you had to give Toad a New Year's resolution, what would it be in a while?
00:27:13.180
This has been my New Year's resolution for you for three years running.
00:27:18.820
I think you getting laid would be a game changer.
00:27:24.940
Legitimately, if I was being really honest with you, start a hostile.
00:27:52.420
My resolution to you, Toad, would be don't change at all.
00:28:11.660
I ratioed Tim Poole on Christmas by telling him that I'm a virgin.
00:28:22.400
To be fair, everyone was showing him on that one.
00:28:37.420
You felt like you birthed Christ because of a 6.5 ratio.
00:28:41.040
Yeah, you're acting like you're like the 300-follower dude who ratioed Elon.
00:28:47.920
It's really fun to see what Elon is doing right now.
00:28:55.280
Forrest Mommy's a lovely lady that's entirely out of Toad's League, but I think she's willing.
00:29:02.560
She's willing to do it, so have at it, brother.
00:29:04.780
I mean, she should be out of his league, but I think you could land it, yeah.
00:29:18.420
I had an interaction with him recently on Twitter.
00:29:21.880
And after the interaction, I just took a shower.
00:29:33.840
See, what's funny is Top has dealt with a billion Pajits on Twitter and hasn't taken a shower afterwards.
00:29:43.220
It's like the Pajits have this distinct shit smell.
00:29:50.320
Anthony Samaroff is also the one who spread the COVID portless strain in 2021 or whatever he got everybody infected with.
00:30:00.460
Jack, I watched Toad's Gambling Show a few days ago in full and enjoyed it.
00:30:06.880
Whatever you're doing, you're on a slow up climb.
00:30:10.520
I feel like if you move, you're going to start over.
00:30:17.500
You'll break 1,000 views in about 52 years, dude.
00:30:25.500
You saw the reception to him on Who Are These? podcast.
00:30:29.760
And they were already talking about making a bit.
00:30:32.940
And I believe, I think recently, one of them or somebody, it was like they're legitimately talking about doing it again.
00:30:38.500
And so I think, yeah, like, I mean, honestly, I think we're all uniquely positioned to do pretty well this coming year.
00:30:54.080
And I think legitimately he's going to blow up.
00:30:55.500
I think the petits that are all being infiltrated into Boston are actually going to, like, set off another bomb.
00:31:00.220
I think the ulcer in his stomach is going to explode and he'll blow up internally probably.
00:31:04.600
Toad, where were you during the Boston Marathon bombing?
00:31:25.620
No, I was working from home because I didn't work in Boston yet.
00:31:58.480
I think you made some of the high pressure rice cooker is what you made.
00:32:01.740
If you're watching, David, go to the YouTube channel and delete every fucking video we
00:32:06.640
have on the NDS YouTube channel that are after us.
00:32:16.440
I mean, unless you're like raking revenue, which I doubt.
00:32:21.960
So what I did, I deleted everything and I waited until both strikes fell off and then I started
00:32:27.300
Was there any other significant things that happened in Boston that we want to know what
00:32:35.140
I think the Boston Marathon was the most important thing to happen in Boston.
00:32:41.660
Like you're going to ask him, what did you eat for that month?
00:32:56.820
I'm not sure that I remember where I was during the Moon and Nights fiasco.
00:33:00.960
I feel like you're just making words up at this point.
00:33:04.140
No, there was a bomb scare where the entire city of Boston shut down because there were
00:33:09.240
these glowing lights that were actually the Moon and Nights characters from Aqua Teen Hunger
00:33:14.000
It was to promote the Aqua Teen Hunger Force movie, but nobody knew what the hell this was.
00:33:30.560
These lights were placed all over Boston and the entire city shut down.
00:33:46.500
When the Red Sox came back from 3-1 against the Yankees, where were you?
00:34:06.460
I was at my parents' house during that whole thing.
00:34:08.140
So the day that they actually won that series, the Game 7, I didn't eat anything.
00:34:14.500
Where were you during the Big Dig Tunnel collapse?
00:34:28.520
I love that we're watching autism in action here.
00:34:30.940
I genuinely think he may be recalling where he was, actually.
00:34:35.740
I can absolutely tell you that when the Red Sox won the World Series in 2004, I was back
00:34:44.400
I was back at college, and I was at the campus, and we were all watching, and I absolutely was
00:34:53.300
We had this pizza called a Shaq pizza that was, like, everything on it, basically.
00:34:58.500
What's your first and last name in your Social Security?
00:35:06.240
After a big sport event, like, after a win, Celtic...
00:35:14.000
Like, have you ever masturbated after a sports win because of the sports win?
00:35:20.700
Well, it depends what you mean by because of it.
00:35:28.940
Yeah, like, I had to do it to, like, wind down.
00:35:31.220
So, you're hanging at your mom's house, and you're like, the Red Sox come back from three
00:35:39.320
to one, and they win, and you have to go crank one out.
00:35:47.020
Quick question for you because this is pertinent to me.
00:35:49.560
This is pertinent to me, and I'm very offended already.
00:35:54.720
I was not allowed you to shave their buttholes, though.
00:36:00.000
What did you eat when the Boston Celtics beat my Kobe-led Lakers?
00:36:21.100
I wish you had choked on whatever you ate, just so you know.
00:36:26.400
What was the number five hit song in 1985 on March 3rd, too?
00:36:46.020
I feel like you don't actually have this skill.
00:36:51.660
There are certain things where it's really implanted in my memory.
00:36:54.760
There are certain periods of time where you go blank and you don't know what happened.
00:36:59.140
You hear stories of people saying you did odd things that you don't recall doing.
00:37:05.300
I mean, when the Patriots came back from down 23rd, I can tell you I was drinking that night.
00:37:57.980
Yeah, I bet that's what you were eating when my fucking Kobe-led Lakers lost to your fucking
00:38:05.280
The Shaq pizza thing, you know that's a thing, an actual thing now, that the Shaq pizza thing
00:38:10.960
for, like, I think, like, Little Caesars does, like, a Shaq pizza, or, like, Domino's,
00:38:23.560
It was the Shaq pizza, because the idea was basically, yeah, it was some student came
00:38:30.460
Like, they could just show anything on YouTube.
00:38:32.500
It was basically, like, non-surgical foreskin restoration?
00:38:41.340
He's literally just sifting through his cock and calling it non-surgical foreskin restoration.
00:38:58.600
Using air pressure to increase tension is an innovative idea.
00:39:02.220
Wearing it every day has increased my restoration process to help undo the desensitization and
00:39:07.000
uncomfortably tight erection caused by having a healthy, functional part of my body caught
00:39:13.180
Just so you know, this dude stretching his fucking foreskin out does the same views as
00:39:25.340
Because I want to tell you, so the name of the product he's using is the Xair, which
00:39:35.380
I wonder if it literally is the Everything app.
00:39:43.800
They're taking the foreskins and Elon's selling them back.
00:39:52.480
But at the same time, but when you know that the Jews are behind it, it makes it that much
00:40:05.060
There's another product, though, that allows you to uncircumcise yourself.
00:40:08.760
And it's more of like a like a ball, like it almost looks like beads.
00:40:12.480
And you kind of shove it into your up your ass.
00:40:17.660
I'd rather not talk about foreskin restoration.
00:40:20.500
And it's like a it's like a weight that like pulls your foreskin back down.
00:40:28.860
So it like gets under the flaps and pulls it down.
00:40:32.220
I bet you these guys, these guys would tell us that they tell us like, oh, you guys are
00:40:39.740
We could do videos of us demonstrating it for like the ads.
00:40:45.700
If this thing legitimately worked, legitimately worked, would you use it?
00:41:16.000
The Rife machine brings you back in your foreskin.
00:41:21.480
It adds a full three inches to the length of your cock.
00:41:23.660
Like we're going to lose this episode because we're making a bunch of unfounded claims about
00:41:27.840
the Rife machine, which is really, which is really crazy because we say wild shit and
00:41:33.480
The Rife machine made my wife orgasm for the first time.
00:41:43.100
The Rife machine can't get blowjobs, unfortunately.
00:41:45.820
I'm going to come up with one of these devices on my own and have dudes like make YouTube videos
00:41:51.220
where they demonstrate it and call it the restore skin.
00:42:00.660
I remember he's really good at naming products.
00:42:02.880
I remembered how good he is at these jokes, like with the Tim Pool shit that he did.
00:42:08.120
He said, I said, I told Tim that we'll hang out in his infinity pool, just like chill
00:42:13.900
And he goes, I prefer if it was a finite pool so that way I can get out if I wanted to.
00:42:22.680
If it's an infinite pool, infinity pool, you can never get to the edge.
00:42:30.400
I'm just swimming away from Tim Pool in an infinity pool.
00:42:35.640
I'd rather be a pool that goes on for an infinity with Tim Pool or one you can get the fuck out
00:42:59.540
I had Top and David on Liberty Lockdown today, which, by the way, you guys should watch after
00:43:05.240
But anyways, at the end of it, I said, or Top says to me, you know, I just want to hang
00:43:12.360
And I said this, and I don't know if you believe me, Top, but this is actually true.
00:43:19.360
I hung out in a jacuzzi on a yacht in Miami with Tim Pool.
00:43:27.000
I just want to make sure you knew I wasn't just making that up.
00:43:46.700
Would he be like, I don't like what you're saying?
00:43:50.040
I think he would like all this because we've been.
00:44:07.400
He was that fucking nigger spick who had the fucking audacity to fucking step to me.
00:44:13.940
I called up Elon and now we're deboosting people who fucking hate you us.
00:44:17.160
No, Tim called me up and he's just like, hey, hey, you know that fucking half Mexican
00:44:31.340
Yeah, but he didn't call you any names or anything like that.
00:44:34.200
I legitimately hope you just said like, well, you talked about Steven Crowder's contract
00:44:40.520
I was like, honestly, Tim, this is all your fault.
00:44:44.400
Top flew out to West Virginia and you made him talk about a contract for two hours.
00:44:49.840
He's holding a vendetta for the rest of his life.
00:44:52.460
The tweet literally said that like, tower gang is fucking everything.
00:44:58.760
No, he said your gang of psychopaths, not tower gang.
00:45:02.060
It would have been funnier if he had said tower gang.
00:45:05.620
He meant tower gang though and I said I don't fuck anybody.
00:45:09.200
Like, I wish he was like, as good at branding his own shit as he is mine.
00:45:13.740
Because he started off, he was like, you're just a fucking retard.
00:45:16.180
And I was like, yo, dude, my whole fan base is just dangerous retards.
00:45:31.160
It was your gang of psychos are fucking like the movement or something like that.
00:45:48.660
Top, can you make another edit that is just like...
00:45:56.040
It just says Streisand effect and it's just Tim Poole's face.
00:46:00.640
And I feel like that would be part of the free.
00:46:02.600
I mean, I'm going to sell a bunch of t-shirts, Tim.
00:46:08.520
Honestly, might be my logo, like my motto from now on.
00:46:11.700
I was thinking like Top Lops would dare to wear, but too retarded to stop is just really...
00:46:25.620
It's like, yeah, Top Lops and the psycho bunch.
00:46:31.000
But what's so funny is that Top doesn't care about the anti-war movement.
00:46:34.820
No, like if you watch a show, I'm talking about glassing fucking Haiti.
00:46:54.220
Here are the signs from a place that I'd like to glass.
00:47:00.820
This is what we were talking about a long time ago.
00:47:13.760
Make that in a woman's extra small and I'll wear it on IRL and see if he notices.
00:47:17.980
I can only only if you wear the one with my face on it.
00:47:27.920
Just as this happened on December 25th, this happened with Tim and then his producer, my
00:47:58.660
Like, if anyone thought I was joking, I just thought about it the other day.
00:48:04.960
I swear, one of the times when I cruised, I don't remember if it was Jamaica, one of
00:48:08.380
the island, like, fucking random places when they had water.
00:48:11.260
I was like, oh, we're not even using the hard ER on water is so fucking funny.
00:48:45.220
And if like Rogan was scrolling through his feed right as that came on.
00:48:58.020
Like just because you're hot and you show your asshole.
00:49:43.060
Would you rather live in a neighborhood full of pit bulls or black people?
00:50:12.740
That's the whole point of the bit is for us to get rocked up over dudes.
00:50:52.560
If he's getting a blowjob right now, he's definitely not coming.
00:51:12.500
I think it's what the swastika was originally created for.
00:51:24.020
It was never created for Nazis and hating Jews and shit.
00:51:28.580
It's like, I want retards and Nazi shit, and I want fat dudes and midgets.
00:51:38.460
To save your tears, I'll give it to someone special.
00:51:49.620
I saw Tyler's screen down the bottom there, you know, the share screen thing with the still frame of the Laney edit.
00:51:55.440
It was on one of those trannies, and I thought it was legitimately a chick.
00:52:04.680
I didn't remember Fooled by the Same Tranny twice.
00:52:24.500
Did we ever talk about the OnlyFans models that pretended to be trannies to-
00:52:38.260
It might have been like, I don't know, within the last several episodes, I would say.
00:52:49.880
This is what happens when you're out, you know?
00:52:51.360
What I love most about the Laney edits is that my memory is so fucking shot that like
00:52:55.140
every single thing that I say, and what most of you guys say too, I don't remember.
00:53:00.440
So like when it happens, I legitimately don't remember that Pitbull thing.
00:53:07.580
I don't remember saying the whole idea of this bit is to look at dudes and get rocked
00:53:12.400
up, and it's like, that's so funny, and I don't even remember saying it.
00:53:16.800
He found this shit about like Joe Rogan that we did.
00:53:28.900
It was so funny, though, to have Theo Vaughn watching it and be like, I like that.
00:53:40.800
You have no idea how much Theo Vaughn would love us.
00:53:48.200
Yeah, he's the mischievous, wholesome side of us.
00:53:52.600
He's the one that kind of like, was it not Holocaust Anile?
00:54:06.300
He's done it like 10 times, too, over the past year.
00:54:14.760
He does a lot of shows with Down Syndrome, people.
00:54:16.860
Like we could definitely, we can get on his show.
00:54:28.300
I think his charming country accent is the Jew shield.
00:54:43.980
And you'd like, it just, it just, it just smooths over all the other crazy shit he says.
00:54:54.760
And if like, Rogan was scrolling through his feed, right as that came up.
00:55:06.380
But I don't see the thumbnail that's like this fucking big.
00:55:09.200
I would instantly get along with Joe Rogan, but I would become best friends with Theo Vaughn.
00:55:26.900
I saw Theo Vaughn right, right before he blew up.
00:55:30.420
And he, like, he had been on Rogan, but he wasn't like crushing, crushing yet.
00:55:36.740
One of the, maybe the best set I've ever seen live.
00:55:39.760
It was only 15 or 20 minutes because it was one of the Wednesday nights where they just
00:55:47.160
Him and, and honestly, Burt Kreischer crushed that night.
00:55:53.760
And, and Shane Gillis, who I had never even heard of.
00:56:03.480
No, but imagine, imagine you had never even heard of Shane Gillis.
00:56:07.320
And he just gets up on stage and you're like, who the fuck is this retard?
00:56:13.060
The thing about Louis J. Goma is, is apparently our, uh, one of our things is going around
00:56:30.140
By the way, uh, she's just playing in the room.
00:56:43.260
This reminds me of that, like, Lean On Me music video.
00:56:48.640
Tyler, please link into that so I can watch it later.
00:56:59.620
Tyler, can we pull up some of the super chats to see what these faggots have to say to us?
00:57:06.460
For 24 hours, it is now legal to flick one person of your choosing in the forehead.
00:57:15.260
Like, it's not illegal to flick someone in the forehead.
00:57:31.780
Dude, if you got criminal charges pressed on you for flicking a dude in the forehead.
00:57:40.940
You might have trouble pushing that one, but if it was like public enough and like obvious
00:57:47.620
I'm just going to go around Boston flicking people, dude.
00:57:51.480
Like, if you got it on video, I really feel like you probably could press charges.
00:57:55.160
Toad, what did you eat when the Boston Flicker went on the rampage?
00:58:08.920
This is who I would flick, and today is the appropriate day to do.
00:58:13.100
It's the only correct answer for this question.
00:58:17.840
I could literally flick right here, and I might hit him.
00:58:40.300
I would flick Tim Pool's beanie off to reveal the yarmulke that's underneath.
00:58:57.140
He looks like the kind of dude, like, if you got into, like, a scuffle with him, he wouldn't
00:59:00.960
be able to throw hands, but you get locked up, and he's, like, bony.
00:59:04.780
Like, he would end up hurting me on the side with his elbow or something.
00:59:08.300
I took his hand, and I feel like every one of us, except for Toad, could thrash him.
00:59:15.960
Tim Pool, I'd show you the night of your life, baby.
00:59:27.720
Tim, like he said, is somewhat athletic, but he's kind of slim.
00:59:35.280
I mean, he might actually, if, like, he looks like he'd have some endurance.
00:59:38.420
So, like, if he stuck around, and was able to deal with my initial attacks, he might be
00:59:59.380
I'm telling you, if we get famous enough, it could happen.
01:00:26.880
Dude, you see, I've been poking him on Twitter, like, reminding him.
01:00:31.100
What I think will happen, legitimately what I think will happen, is Todd will actually
01:00:56.120
You have shut me up, and you've surprised me in the past.
01:01:04.040
If you get into a ring with Todd Hagopian, and you knock that motherfucker out, I will
01:01:08.580
But I don't think you can do it, and I'm challenging you right now to fuck him up in
01:01:14.260
You did say that if he fucks me up, you'll fuck him up, though, so I like that.
01:01:21.280
I like to think, like, right whenever, like, the referee comes up and just, like, lifts,
01:01:29.540
And then he just comes in out of nowhere and just sunk a bunch of the fuck out of him.
01:01:44.080
I mean, it's great that we already have an event for our next event, like, a sub-event
01:01:50.960
So, like, if we do another Bohemian, we can totally set the fight there.
01:01:53.180
Yo, if one of you dies, we'll actually call it the Smallacost.
01:01:57.820
My name is Todd Hagopian, and I am running for Oklahoma Corporation Commission.
01:02:02.600
I live in small businesses, and I run large businesses.
01:02:05.580
And the one thing that I can tell you is that...
01:02:09.720
Pause it, pause it, pause it, pause it, listen, listen.
01:02:13.220
Clint, this is the first time you've heard his voice?
01:02:22.000
Let it play, let it play, let it play, because he talked shit on Todd.
01:02:27.380
Bro, if you get knocked out by a dude with this voice, that is insane.
01:02:30.260
All right, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, listen, listen, just listen.
01:02:32.040
I have run small businesses, and I have run large businesses.
01:02:44.000
And as a libertarian, I am going to focus on only one thing.
01:02:56.760
I'm so like, you can't believe you've been sleeping on this knowledge for forever.
01:03:02.560
This is like deep libertarian lore that Todd Agopian legit talks like that,
01:03:05.520
and people are like, what the fuck is with this dude?
01:03:09.120
If you stand in real life, it's less ridiculous because he's literally like 5'3".
01:03:13.860
He sounds like he's walking down the golden brick road.
01:03:30.540
Dude, Timeline Earth has been running with this bit for like ever about like him
01:03:49.240
Do you have any idea how much money Josie could make if she did videos like that?
01:04:13.800
When I talk about cutting red tape, it's simple.
01:04:35.220
This guy was running the finances for the Libertarian Party.
01:04:41.260
As supporters of my show, Tower Gang, it just feels really good to have friends.
01:04:50.860
Is that your submission to Love on the Spectrum?
01:04:57.040
Honestly, Jose, you don't even have a lisp anymore.
01:05:03.500
God, the Libertarian Party is such an embarrassment.
01:05:12.720
And you never knew this amazing little tidbit about him.
01:05:15.720
That little fucking elf works in ESG solutions.
01:05:20.500
This is why he hates me is because I pointed it out.
01:05:27.720
Man, just like fucking throwing ESG everywhere to get the fuck out of here, man.
01:05:42.760
I submitted through the site that you sent me to.
01:05:45.300
Well, remember we talked about it last week and you said submitted and you literally just
01:05:49.700
sent a weird non-contextual email that made no fucking sense.
01:06:04.180
What did you eat while you were filling it out?
01:06:13.460
This is the only way I can get the truth from him.
01:06:17.080
I didn't eat anything because I did it during the show.
01:06:20.120
You filled out the application during the show, didn't make it content, and just ignored the
01:06:27.400
It was the same thing that I sent in the email.
01:06:35.940
I mean, I would have liked to have seen the form that you sent first before I say that
01:06:39.360
that was perfect because I feel like maybe you may have left out a few things if that's
01:06:43.140
Toe, did you really send that video that we played?
01:06:46.780
I sent my – in the email, I sent all the pictures of my Halloween costumes.
01:06:52.900
And I listed all of them out in all the years that I've won the Office Halloween contest.
01:06:57.680
And then I did the same thing in the form, but the form didn't have any attachments.
01:07:10.140
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, no, no, hold up.
01:07:12.360
So in the application, they didn't – you weren't able to attach pictures, so you literally
01:07:18.940
So you just listed off the Halloween things you won.
01:07:21.820
Because I remember the ridiculous thing is all you literally said was zero other context
01:07:25.740
was these are the years I've won my Halloween, whatever, and you sent the pictures.
01:07:30.320
So now you did the same exact thing, but you didn't send the context of the pictures.
01:07:34.560
So now you just listed off what fucking Halloween whatever years you won the costume thing.
01:07:40.780
So they still have no fucking idea what you're bugging them about.
01:07:46.100
Toad is built for that show, and if it happens, he will become an overnight sensation.
01:07:53.080
I just want to put you – I just want to put you – I just want to think about this.
01:07:56.460
Put yourself in the shoes of the guy that has to read through all of the submissions
01:08:01.540
for getting on to a dating show with Down syndrome people.
01:08:13.200
I'm just saying, but imagine you're the guy that has to go through all of the submissions.
01:08:19.100
Do you know how many physical letters he probably receives that are written in crayons?
01:08:29.820
Like, I would take a massive pay cut to get that job of just, like, just reading autism,
01:08:42.580
On Nephilim Desco, we have our autistic audience email us stories.
01:08:46.200
Nobody knows how to use a fucking – like, a space or a period or a comma for that matter.
01:08:51.660
It's just one long sentence, like, seven pages long.
01:09:02.300
I feel like you're going to find your wife on that fucking stupid show.
01:09:11.460
And I think we've asked you this before, but I want you to be honest.
01:09:15.100
If they set you up with a retard, you're going to bang her.
01:09:54.720
I don't know what it is, but she is hot, though.
01:09:58.540
God, the more I think about, like, the Libertarian Party and the people in it, it's just like,
01:10:04.980
Let's talk about how retarded of a chick – like, what's your cutoff?
01:10:12.040
Like, what is your cutoff in terms of, like, would, would not?
01:10:21.580
Like, what if her mouth hangs slightly open all the time?
01:10:35.000
What if she was on crutches, but she could do somewhat, like, a basic conversation?
01:10:43.380
So, wait, she's retarded and has no use of her legs?
01:10:46.860
Well, like, some retarded people, like, their legs are all bow-legged and shit.
01:10:59.940
What if she can't walk, but she gives incredible head?
01:11:07.660
That would be, like, the opposite of what Cole has.
01:11:11.300
That's true, because Elizabeth runs half marathons.
01:11:16.780
Hey, maybe you have to cripple her and she can suck you off.
01:11:22.160
I can't remember the name of the bitch that smashed the other ice skater with the leg –
01:11:36.520
He'll be like, why did you beat her with a pipe?
01:11:48.300
All right, well, let me give the context, because it's important.
01:11:50.380
So this guy apparently, like, got divorce paperwork sent from his wife, and then he kidnapped her
01:12:27.240
Yo, he pulls a pin on a grenade, and the two brothers are trying to wrestle it away from
01:13:04.820
Still framing on, like, look at these pieces of these people right here.
01:13:08.860
This is an extremely autistic thing that I'm about to say right here.
01:13:21.340
So this is an extremely autistic thing about the same right here.
01:13:28.900
The sound of the screaming is, I'm pretty sure, the same sound as a Civ IV anarchy sound.
01:13:43.160
And I'm trying to find it now because it literally is.
01:13:50.620
What's up with the monkey noises in the beginning?
01:13:55.620
I think the audio was dubbed by some racists, probably.
01:14:00.880
But when they all scream, though, it sounds real.
01:14:10.440
Anybody else feel like that dude probably really loved that lady?
01:14:18.500
Like, I'm going to blow myself up and your sister.
01:14:25.020
Yo, now I'm traumatized for breastfeeding, even though I know that that's not what this is.
01:14:33.540
It's just a totally retarded black lady that has a doll.
01:14:48.500
To give you a little bit of an idea, my cut off would be somewhere before this lady.
01:15:05.940
Hey, Carmen, tell me that's not the sound bite of the Civ IV anarchy sound.
01:15:15.840
We're live on a Friday, so most people don't even know that we're all.
01:15:19.160
No one cares about your stupid fucking niche reference.
01:15:30.780
But I'm literally trying to look it up right now, by the way.
01:15:54.440
This is really embarrassing, otherwise, because we got, like, one.
01:16:01.400
I mean, but this is, like, my morning show kind of, like, stats.
01:16:15.720
I feel like we should go to our resident super autist to explain Elon's behavior.
01:16:22.400
Because what I perceive, and this is from a non-autist, I perceive an autistic spurg out.
01:16:27.640
I think what we're witnessing, the technical term is he's spurging the fuck out.
01:16:31.840
This reminds me of the first time that I got a...
01:16:37.000
Yeah, this reminds me of the first time that I got hit by a...
01:16:45.320
The first time I got dentist, and I completely spurged out.
01:16:49.620
It says, is it gay to feel emasculated when she's on top?
01:16:59.620
Is it gay to feel emasculated when she's on top, though?
01:17:05.740
It's not gay to have her on top, but if you feel that way...
01:17:09.280
No, feelings aren't gay, unless it's to be gay.
01:17:13.000
I think if you feel emasculated ever, it's gay.
01:17:21.420
It is gay to feel, but also, if you feel emasculated because the chick's on top, she's
01:17:29.800
Yeah, I mean, you really shouldn't feel emasculated because it's like, there's pretty much, if there's
01:17:34.280
a woman on top of me that I don't feel like she's not a threat, even with me completely
01:17:38.620
giving my chest and throat and everything, to where I'm still not scared of you, if I'm
01:17:43.900
not able to feel that way with a woman, then I don't know.
01:17:46.340
Honestly, if you've ever felt endangered because, like, oh, this chick has me prone, you're a
01:18:01.140
Honestly, it's a good question for Andrew Tate.
01:18:07.540
You, as a man, showing weakness, being in a bottom position to a female bitch?
01:18:12.900
What if she's at, like, such an angle that she's going to, like, break your dick?
01:18:24.700
I think you're leading this conversation here, Toad.
01:18:27.920
I feel like Toad can't relate to this topic at all.
01:19:12.920
Are you saying someone added this sound effect for funsies?
01:19:49.840
Oh, this is some Boston bombing shit right here.
01:20:05.960
This is what happens when you touch soap to Vivek Romaswamy.
01:20:32.360
It might be overlaid with the people actually screaming.
01:20:36.280
I think they, for some reason, they didn't think enough people were screaming, and so
01:20:47.000
Listen, I don't know if this motherfucker still sponsors the show.
01:20:51.420
By the way, he was talking to me recently that he wanted to, like, start cutting up clips
01:21:05.600
In a D-E-A-U, shavecode.com, promo code TOWERGANG.
01:21:12.440
I don't think that they're even sponsoring us, but get one anyways.
01:21:29.320
By the way, I had Anton's Land of Build Song as a sponsor for, like, two months.
01:21:34.260
And he stopped sponsoring me because he said he only got 38 orders.
01:21:39.240
And I was like, 38 people bought your shit and that wasn't adequate?
01:21:51.760
I mean, he was only doing two ads a month for three months.
01:21:57.780
Well, when you only do one video a month, that doesn't make sense.
01:22:03.160
You charge these diggas monthly and they're just being like, I'm just sleepy today.
01:22:26.400
Wait, so, Toad, tell us what do we think about Elon Musk's Spurr out?
01:22:35.640
So, it started with Vivek, from what I could tell, coming from seemingly out of nowhere, tweeting, essentially, that we should replace what's bad about American culture.
01:22:57.100
You're telling me that your IQ didn't drop 10, 15 points the first time you saw Topanga?
01:23:11.980
That boy meets world was the start of my, like, brain damage happening.
01:23:15.440
So, he was, that was his example, and he's saying we need to replace that with his own kind, basically, like, street shitters that we import over from India.
01:23:24.520
And a lot of people did not like that, including me.
01:23:27.960
So, then what happened was so many people, I think, were opposing this.
01:23:32.020
Like, his ratio is not very good on that tweet.
01:23:37.660
Like, I'm not going to have this from people that are, like, opposing this, basically.
01:23:41.880
Because I think Elon is on board with that agenda, too.
01:23:46.160
So, we have these two foreigners here who are basically saying this thing.
01:23:50.860
This is, like, their own form of the Great Replacement, basically.
01:23:53.540
They're still pushing a Great Replacement, but it's a different flavor, essentially, that they think the right is going to be on board with.
01:24:05.300
But I'm telling you, when I was a kid, she was hot.
01:24:13.520
Yo, yo, I met Topanga at a Tech N9ne concert, and I walked up to her at the bar, and I asked her if I could buy her a drink.
01:24:30.240
She's like, everyone your age tries to buy me a drink.
01:24:37.060
Clint got shot down by her butt in a very nice way.
01:24:40.900
So, you know what I think happened was Elon, then we know that, like, some of the biggest accounts.
01:24:47.080
I just want to say, Clint, I'm proud of you for at least attempting.
01:25:00.020
I think you failed because you didn't go up to her and say, is your name Topanga?
01:25:26.060
The baby is always fake, by the way, because these whores don't have kids.
01:25:31.820
So I think back to this Elon thing, I think that when we know that like the largest accounts
01:25:36.520
that were vocally opposed to this, opposing like what the vague was saying, I can't even
01:25:41.000
talk anymore, opposing what the vague was saying, they all like started losing their
01:25:45.540
So Elon is coming in and like censoring in Elon actually even posted like this is what
01:25:50.920
So I think we're getting like we're basically getting censorship from the other side here.
01:25:58.240
I mean, you made it sound as if you understood Elon's behavior.
01:26:03.400
You're the you're the you're the resident autist.
01:26:24.460
Someone said I jerked up to Corey, jerk it off to Topanga.
01:27:04.420
Kelly had that like massive like white bitch fro.
01:27:18.320
Yo, fucking Jeet said like, oh, you guys spent so much time looking at fucking Corey and Topanga.
01:27:41.300
Out of all of those people, like the last ones I would have expected are the ones that
01:27:52.400
I would have thought any of those other guys I would have seen their dick.
01:27:55.860
Once I heard Screech's porn, I was like, I have to like watch it just for the novelty.
01:28:07.660
And then she goes on to do Showgirls and I'm seeing her like crazy naked.
01:28:12.900
And she was kind of a prudish character somewhere.
01:28:15.740
And she also got high on meth and couldn't stop dancing.
01:28:19.700
No, it wasn't caffeine pills actually or whatever.
01:28:27.040
It was at the time where like they were selling like just out over the counter, like essentially
01:28:41.340
Yo, dude, that Jack 3D shit had me seeing demons, yo.
01:28:47.620
Did you take that before like baseball games and shit?
01:28:52.920
I did it a couple of times, but it's not, it's not good.
01:29:00.520
Those are great for like cardiovascular activities.
01:29:03.160
Like something like a game, like a sports game.
01:29:05.520
Like pre-workout's great for working out, but not, like red line's not good for working
01:29:09.700
Like a red line's good for like soccer game or something like that.
01:29:16.000
He'd be, because it literally, it literally was, it was like you only drink half the bottle.
01:29:21.120
I would take, I would drink the first half like before a soccer game and then at halftime
01:29:25.800
Dude, I took a sip, because I didn't use to drink caffeine at all.
01:29:30.140
I took a sip of a five hour, whatever the fuck it's called.
01:29:49.700
Is that when I was in my early 20s, I would, I would go out and I would party and I would
01:30:00.540
I'd be sitting there and like, I'd be doing accounting on QuickBooks and like the numbers
01:30:10.500
That was like what happened during my stroke, man.
01:30:16.820
I'll just get an hour and a half of sleep and go to work.
01:30:21.420
I was about to say, I was like, because you were, because Clint, you were in an office,
01:30:27.880
Not with your dad fucking sitting right behind you.
01:30:34.220
Like he's probably like, probably drinking too.
01:30:40.420
My list of, my list of jobs in my life has been landscaper, construction worker, and aircraft
01:30:49.320
Dude, I bet, I bet like after a night of drinking, you were sweating buckets, dude.
01:30:54.540
So it could be, it could be 50 degrees outside.
01:30:57.900
I was like, I had some like long nights drinking party and stuff.
01:31:06.100
When I got back to the yard, I was backing up and I fucking smashed up the windshield.
01:31:26.540
I can't, I cannot, I can't remember the last time I got really drunk.
01:31:33.880
I've drank a little thing of scotch over the past few days, but I hadn't had a drink
01:31:41.100
But yeah, and I've, I've been just sipping on that like slowly.
01:31:48.580
I like to, I can get like a nice, a nice little even stuff like in, like right in the middle.
01:31:56.340
I'm telling you, Cole, if I was your age, we would be best buds.
01:32:01.700
I'm telling you, dude, five years, Cole, it will start being like, at least for me, it's
01:32:25.800
Answer that question in the penthouse, baby boy.
01:32:33.340
Thank you guys so much for tuning in to Alive Tower Gang.
01:32:38.760
If you want to join us in the penthouse, you can do so by going to the QR code in the bottom
01:32:49.540
At the $5 level, you can join, watch the pre-show, post-show.
01:32:52.520
You can get ad-free podcast experience on Spotify where we do upload the videos so you can watch
01:33:02.920
And I think I'm going to, yeah, maybe I'll do some, I'm working on the laser printer.
01:33:06.260
So guys at it, people at a certain level will be getting like maybe some cool shit like this.
01:33:13.200
And you also get access to the Telegram where you can talk to other insane people that love
01:33:20.420
And I'm unfortunately in it and I get notifications for it all the time.
01:33:27.800
I don't have notifications, but I will have the little icon.
01:33:47.100
So, yeah, I mean, oh, hey, look, we've got the fucking Lainey, you know, the two wolves
01:33:52.620
I'm going to be doing like physical merch and that stuff is going to be hard to make and
01:33:56.700
source because I'll be doing it, but it'll be available to patron members first and foremost.
01:34:02.140
And we're doing like coffee cups and shit like that, but all that stuff soon.
01:34:16.280
Because she will be on IRL again, not too far down the road, and it would be unbelievably
01:34:36.920
I can imagine Tim looking at the shirt and just being like, I can't get away from this
01:34:45.980
It's going to end up, it'll end up where Tim will have to have me back on the show to tell
01:34:53.320
Oh yeah, no, I'm sure, listen, we've cut it up, but he's got no use for me until I'm
01:35:19.720
Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang.
01:35:33.320
Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang.
01:35:35.860
Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang.
01:35:48.440
It's so fucking hard to line up the syllables in a little bit.