Tower Gang - Ep 222 - Coward Gang

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00:00:12.340 Hashtag make a play.

00:00:15.100 Top Lops of Productions.

00:00:30.000 You buy this for $39.99, guess what folks, you take the L away.

00:00:39.520 Somebody's watching me, it's my anxiety.

00:00:45.340 You take the L away. 0.99

00:00:55.520 As much as dumb stuff as black people do and as often as they go to prison, where do they keep coming from? 1.00

00:01:08.760 They are basically farm equipment. 1.00

00:01:10.400 That's crazy.

00:01:12.660 If you want a million dollar idea, right there you go. 1.00

00:01:15.300 Put some beans in a dildo, fuck the dildo, and then sell the beans. 1.00

00:01:20.740 Let's go straight up to Israel. 1.00

00:01:21.980 I feel like what I say about black people one day is going to come to bite me in the ass. 1.00

00:01:35.780 I've just only said the truth. 1.00

00:01:38.540 The next cock up is a very nice cock. 0.99

00:01:42.900 Because it would hurt. 0.99

00:01:44.000 I wouldn't be able to take it.

00:01:47.900 It's not what this show is about. 1.00

00:01:49.740 This shit is retarded. 1.00

00:01:51.980 It's with a heavy heart that we approach you on Wednesday evening at 9-11 sharp, because we are never a minute late. 1.00

00:02:01.660 Top Lobster has been placed into an El Salvadorian prison.

00:02:05.540 I'm not sure what we're supposed to do without him. 0.99

00:02:08.660 Maybe not dead, but definitely being raped right now. 1.00

00:02:11.380 Dead to us. 1.00

00:02:12.260 For sure.

00:02:13.740 Dead to being straight.

00:02:16.300 I feel like it's karma, almost.

00:02:18.640 He kind of deserves it.

00:02:19.780 Do you think that should happen to Trump voters?

00:02:20.980 Trump voters should be sent to El Salvadorian prison?

00:02:23.060 If you vote for fascism, you get thrown in prison without a trial.

00:02:25.700 That's how it works.

00:02:26.640 I agree.

00:02:28.000 I guess, honestly, if you vote for anybody, just any vote is fascism, to me.

00:02:34.280 Yeah, that's why I voted.

00:02:36.160 Yeah. 1.00

00:02:38.420 God, I would pay a lot to see you raped in El Salvadorian prison. 1.00

00:02:43.400 Like, there's not a... 1.00

00:02:46.100 Wait.

00:02:46.360 Oh, my God.

00:02:47.200 Who?

00:02:47.700 I'd sell my house.

00:02:49.760 I'd sell my house.

00:02:51.680 No, no, no, no.

00:02:52.360 For Toad. 1.00

00:02:52.960 For him to get raped in El Salvadorian prison? 0.99

00:02:54.360 Well, it would just be repaying the favor. 1.00

00:02:55.240 You would give up your house for him to get raped in a prison. 0.99

00:02:58.600 That isn't a really, really odd thing to say out loud. 1.00

00:03:01.680 I watched Cole fucks, so it only makes sense that you should watch me get fucked. 0.99

00:03:05.160 You want that specific type of suffering to that degree. 1.00

00:03:07.860 Hey, while you're over here chastising Cole, Jose, you wouldn't sell your house?

00:03:12.400 Yeah, I'm so confused. 0.99

00:03:13.540 I wouldn't sell my house to get Toad raped? 0.99

00:03:16.800 Toad raped? 1.00

00:03:18.160 No, no. 1.00

00:03:19.120 Well, then I think maybe you're the problem.

00:03:20.960 Yeah, I think you have the problem.

00:03:22.900 I think most of our...

00:03:23.480 I don't think it's my entire life, like, you know, chipping away at paying that mortgage.

00:03:27.240 I'm just like, yep, just throw it away.

00:03:28.420 Are you coming to this at a pragmatic sense? 0.99

00:03:30.940 And we're coming at it like, I want to see Toad raped. 0.99

00:03:33.760 It's going to be rape a palooza. 1.00

00:03:35.340 We're holding it in El Salvador. 0.95

00:03:36.320 I thought we were about rape a palooza here. 1.00

00:03:38.220 I'm the pragmatist over here. 0.99

00:03:40.060 Oh, I pragmatically raped. 0.77

00:03:40.920 I wouldn't sell my house. 0.98

00:03:42.860 That's true. 1.00

00:03:43.800 I would only rape for free. 1.00

00:03:45.780 Just to see Toad raped in an El Salvadorian prison. 0.99

00:03:48.360 Yeah, I'm just being honest. 0.99

00:03:51.080 Like, I want that. 0.99

00:03:53.020 Honestly, I would get raped in El Salvadorian prison just to see Toad also get raped in El Salvadorian prison. 0.99

00:03:58.800 Honestly, I would go that far. 0.99

00:03:59.980 Should we be rape Ascomo Brothers? 1.00

00:04:02.640 Actually, it would be great. 1.00

00:04:03.820 If the same black... 1.00

00:04:05.080 Like, somehow it's a black El Salvadorian dude. 0.88

00:04:07.320 I'd prefer it not be the same guy, honestly.

00:04:11.820 Would you want to go first or second?

00:04:13.660 Oh, just a good question.

00:04:14.800 Is it gayer if it's the same guy?

00:04:17.340 Or a different guy?

00:04:19.560 Also, is it gayer if you're first or last?

00:04:21.960 Like, if you go first or last, is it the rapey?

00:04:23.600 Oh, it's definitely gayer if you're second. 1.00

00:04:25.420 You got the shit of your homeboy on Homeboy's Dick? 0.99

00:04:27.580 I'm not even five minutes deep, guys. 1.00

00:04:30.360 You're going to get raped with my shit, man. 1.00

00:04:31.880 All right, let's play the Clint video. 1.00

00:04:33.520 God.

00:04:34.640 Clint video?

00:04:35.940 Yeah, the video we're done by a second.

00:04:37.220 Let's play the go.

00:04:38.140 You want to intro that?

00:04:39.180 I think that would be a good way to set the show.

00:04:40.620 So, we did a sales pitch.

00:04:43.840 We did a...

00:04:44.380 Clint here.

00:04:44.980 Your brother.

00:04:45.740 Hold on.

00:04:46.300 Hold on.

00:04:46.880 We did a...

00:04:47.380 Okay, brother.

00:04:48.660 We did a custom-made Lainey edit sales pitch to my brother, Colin.

00:04:55.340 And this is me showing it to him. 0.97

00:04:57.260 It took me three weeks to get him on a fucking five-minute Zoom call. 0.99

00:04:59.780 But it finally happened. 0.98

00:05:00.700 So, let's see what he has to say. 1.00

00:05:01.960 Uh, this is my shit-posting, retarded, racist podcast. 1.00

00:05:11.700 Gold Tower Games. 1.00

00:05:17.480 I've tried desperately to get you to watch or listen to an episode.

00:05:22.540 Yo.

00:05:23.200 That'll do it.

00:05:24.880 That'll do it.

00:05:26.080 I don't think you have what it takes, Colin. 1.00

00:05:27.660 I think you're a fucking pussy faggot. 1.00

00:05:31.960 I get a new house. 1.00

00:05:38.140 I even bought a new washer and a new refrigerator all in the same year.

00:05:42.440 How often is the sex happening, Colin?

00:05:44.120 Once a week.

00:05:45.220 Yeah, she's cheating on you. 1.00

00:05:46.560 Oh, my God. 0.99

00:05:48.500 They're just as good as dead. 0.59

00:05:49.560 Honestly, he looks...

00:06:05.500 You're not the only coal she's burning.

00:06:09.520 He doesn't look like Clint at all, by the way.

00:06:11.940 He's my half-burner.

00:06:12.720 Oh, yeah, that makes sense. 1.00

00:06:13.920 All this fucking flowery... 0.99

00:06:15.140 He flourishes and he's just... 1.00

00:06:16.520 You know, hot hot shit, and top just runs in there, Puerto Rican style. 1.00

00:06:19.680 And it's like... 1.00

00:06:20.260 Oh, man. 1.00

00:06:20.900 They took a cane train wreckers, bitch. 1.00

00:06:22.460 We run and shit. 1.00

00:06:23.220 Let's touch down in the airport. 1.00

00:06:24.160 Louis V backpack for them hundreds, bitch. 1.00

00:06:25.660 Cleaning that McQueen hoe. 1.00

00:06:26.700 I'm a gangsta, not no lover, bitch. 1.00

00:06:28.200 Grammy at the bar. 1.00

00:06:29.060 I'm a party like we're on a bitch ball. 1.00

00:06:30.940 Big Mac 11, back of the seven, on some bullshit. 0.99

00:06:33.460 But with that in mind, what would you do for a Klondike car? 0.98

00:06:36.560 What would you do? 1.00

00:06:37.040 I mean, kill my wife, I guess. 1.00

00:06:38.900 Yo, having young Freddy can, I'm on some bullshit. 1.00

00:06:40.880 Big Mac 11, back of the seven, on some bullshit. 1.00

00:06:43.600 I put that president on my wrist and I got frost. 0.99

00:06:46.080 Check it like Pringles, you want to sing on with some coach. 1.00

00:06:48.360 You look to your funeral, man, shoot up your fucking coat. 1.00

00:06:51.180 I blow your house up with that honey drum. 1.00

00:06:53.060 No high 100, I'm a high boy. 0.99

00:06:54.620 You're like, are you black? 0.99

00:06:56.300 Are you Arab?

00:06:56.820 You're Blair of my...

00:06:58.240 He was Louis Farrakhar.

00:07:02.000 Cole, why don't you have a gun?

00:07:03.560 You've been, like, libertarian for seven years or something.

00:07:06.880 Wait, you're gunless?

00:07:08.160 I live in a white neighborhood.

00:07:10.080 Like, what... 0.99

00:07:11.080 Andy Ruger, I'm peeping on a nigga. 1.00

00:07:13.000 Say the end of the sleep. 0.99

00:07:14.120 Tell him I'm sleeping on him. 0.96

00:07:15.340 Get hit, we're trapped. 0.66

00:07:16.120 The neighbors might call the people on him.

00:07:17.640 He's very bored by our show. 1.00

00:07:25.720 Dude, Titty fucking your lactating wife is bullshit. 1.00

00:07:31.420 Look at him, like... 1.00

00:07:33.020 Just deadpan, dude.

00:07:34.880 This is so shaming.

00:07:35.920 Not even blinking.

00:07:43.640 All right, thank you for showing me that, Clint.

00:07:46.480 Wait, wait, wait, no.

00:07:47.380 We have to finish it.

00:07:49.020 Yeah.

00:07:49.300 Oh, does he actually...

00:07:49.960 He talks?

00:07:50.860 He must.

00:07:53.640 Dude. 0.99

00:07:55.660 I don't know where the fuck you find those videos, but that is gnarly. 0.99

00:07:58.920 Gnarly. 0.99

00:08:00.600 All right, so here's the backstory.

00:08:02.880 We have a former tranny who's now just a dude who is our producer, or not producer, 1.00

00:08:11.140 our editor, puts together these edits.

00:08:13.200 They're called Laney Edits.

00:08:14.180 And they're unbelievably violent and graphic and insane, but also puts dope rap music to

00:08:21.760 it, so I'm kind of a fan.

00:08:23.460 Anyways, so yeah, that's our show, and that's our sales pitch to you, Colin, so I'd like to

00:08:28.640 get your feedback.

00:08:30.700 Are you now going to watch Tower Gang or not?

00:08:32.920 I mean, I will definitely do my best to watch and listen, but...

00:08:41.120 He's not watching.

00:08:42.120 He's not even close to that. 0.98

00:08:43.920 He's like, dude, why the fuck did you show me this close? 0.96

00:08:46.340 That's like... 0.98

00:08:46.800 This is weird.

00:08:47.780 Dude, that's like whenever you're at a mall, and it's like those people on the kiosk, and

00:08:53.120 they're like, will you try this?

00:08:53.960 And you're like, yeah, sure, man.

00:08:54.640 Yeah, I'll come back later.

00:08:55.520 He's like, mom's right to be disappointed.

00:08:57.480 He's like, all that worked to seduce your brother, and he just flat out rejected us. 1.00

00:09:02.620 He's like, dad's right, you are a faggot. 1.00

00:09:05.700 It was a pretty rough response, and honestly, I don't really blame him for it. 1.00

00:09:12.000 Oh, jeez, $50 from PeePeePooPooMan.

00:09:13.980 Oh, my God.

00:09:15.000 Thanks, PeePeePooPooMan. 0.99

00:09:16.480 Let me read it.

00:09:17.500 I want to see Toad doing everything. 1.00

00:09:18.940 Start a GoFundMe, and Tower Gang sends Toad into the world, a la Carl Pilkington, an idiot 0.99

00:09:24.480 abroad. 0.98

00:09:25.020 This man needs to be shared with the world.

00:09:26.320 I completely agree, PeePeePooPooMan. 0.93

00:09:28.660 We just have him pop in like...

00:09:29.940 I build a butcher.

00:09:30.760 It says, Laney, edit one.

00:09:31.960 Oh, we're getting money.

00:09:33.360 All right. 0.99

00:09:33.980 Killer, dude. 0.99

00:09:34.700 By the way, I have news.

00:09:37.740 We thought beforehand that Laney edit wasn't going to be in there tonight, and Top sent a 0.99

00:09:42.640 message, and I'll read verbatim what he said.

00:09:45.280 It's in there.

00:09:45.860 I see it.

00:09:46.080 He said, download immediately.

00:09:48.100 Google said we weren't able to open the previous version because it violated TOS, so we uploaded

00:09:53.920 a video to our Google Drive, and Google was like, you can't watch this.

00:10:01.420 Yeah, you can't have it on here.

00:10:03.220 It's illegal in 12 states.

00:10:06.100 Let me explain my brother's reaction.

00:10:09.100 Well, first off, he's about to be a father of two, so he's definitely calmed down in his

00:10:13.640 old age of being in his early to mid-30s.

00:10:17.020 But the real reason that I think he had such a negative reaction to this is because he

00:10:21.300 was an EMT for four years before he became a firefighter for the past four years or whatever, 0.99

00:10:26.160 so he has seen just abject violence, and I just don't think he can look at that shit 0.99

00:10:31.740 and think it's like, ha-ha, at all. 1.00

00:10:34.120 What a fucking pussy. 1.00

00:10:34.860 I think he's numb to it then, right? 1.00

00:10:36.800 Or he wants to help all these people.

00:10:39.220 I think that's more than anything.

00:10:40.680 He probably watches it like, all right, now I've got to get to the carotid, and then

00:10:44.020 I've got to do this.

00:10:45.860 I'm like, I don't know who these people are.

00:10:47.560 I don't care.

00:10:48.660 Yeah, exactly.

00:10:49.800 So he can no longer just enjoy violence.

00:10:52.960 How does it affect me?

00:10:55.520 But I feel like that's kind of weird because, can we go forescreen? 0.99

00:11:00.240 Yeah, get the fuck out of here. 0.99

00:11:01.100 Foreskin, what? 1.00

00:11:02.960 Just remove that motherfucker, and then we do this. 1.00

00:11:05.800 You're bad. 1.00

00:11:07.820 Isn't military guys that actually have fucking been done tours, they're the most dark humor 1.00

00:11:15.840 fuckers ever, though? 0.98

00:11:17.340 Is it something weird about just if you do it domestically? 1.00

00:11:21.720 So you're saying his brother's a poser and a pussy. 1.00

00:11:24.500 He didn't see shit. 1.00

00:11:26.420 That's what you're saying. 1.00

00:11:27.120 Yeah, he didn't. 0.98

00:11:27.540 Well, look, your brother's just toxic. 1.00

00:11:29.220 Maybe there's levels of this shit where it's like you have to pass a certain amount of 1.00

00:11:33.680 harrowing shit you see, and then once you reach that certain point, it tips over, and 0.98

00:11:37.860 you're like, this stuff's just funny now. 0.99

00:11:39.800 Maybe it's if you're the one perpetrating the awful trauma, then it's easier to get over it.

00:11:43.520 That's what it is. 0.99

00:11:44.200 You have to drop white phosphorus on black kids before you can laugh. 1.00

00:11:49.840 And then you realize, like, oh, that was fun, you know? 0.99

00:11:52.920 You've got to keep in mind.

00:11:53.900 I don't feel bad.

00:11:55.420 Colin's job is not to take lives.

00:11:57.100 He is to go to the scene of terrible accidents and then to put these people back together.

00:12:01.500 So a military veteran has a totally different frame of reference when it comes to seeing

00:12:06.640 people blown up.

00:12:07.760 They're trying to blow people apart.

00:12:09.320 Yeah.

00:12:09.900 Yeah.

00:12:10.180 His job is to get there and then put them back together.

00:12:12.480 So I think it's hard for him to laugh.

00:12:13.840 I guess it's also like... 0.97

00:12:14.700 But the good news is that there's not a fucking chance in hell he's watching this show right 0.97

00:12:18.260 now. 1.00

00:12:18.460 So you can continue to talk shit about him. 1.00

00:12:20.060 What a pussy bitch. 1.00

00:12:24.580 I guess cops are the same way, too, because they're shooting black people all the time. 1.00

00:12:29.040 So they're really... 0.99

00:12:29.740 And I guess it makes sense because there was that...

00:12:31.880 I went into the wrong line of work.

00:12:33.760 Well, it was the last year there was that thing went around where like 40 cops in a district

00:12:40.020 were all sending racist memes to each other.

00:12:43.120 Hell yeah.

00:12:43.340 You remember that in Tennessee?

00:12:44.620 No. 1.00

00:12:45.660 Yeah, I think they all fucked that one woman. 1.00

00:12:48.780 No, it was a different one. 1.00

00:12:50.060 Different story.

00:12:51.040 Different story.

00:12:52.240 But no, no.

00:12:52.800 This one was like...

00:12:53.440 It was the one where...

00:12:55.520 I can't remember the actual meme they were sending, but it was a news story because like 1.00

00:13:01.120 40 of them got fired because they're all sending like racist shit and stuff. 0.99

00:13:08.480 Lainey said he showed... 1.00

00:13:09.700 Which, by the way, Lainey Lore has a brother.

00:13:12.380 Wow. 0.94

00:13:12.980 Also a tranny? 0.95

00:13:13.780 Also a tranny, maybe? 0.95

00:13:15.040 I showed my brother and he only likes the violent parts. 0.81

00:13:17.400 Well, we have different familial bonds, apparently.

00:13:20.320 I think you guys may have dealt with some childhood drama of some sort.

00:13:24.860 Between Lainey's brother and your brother, they form like one complete person.

00:13:28.400 One normal person.

00:13:29.640 Yeah.

00:13:30.120 I think they experienced abuse as children.

00:13:32.960 I'm sorry you guys went through that.

00:13:34.480 But it wasn't your fault.

00:13:36.080 It wasn't your fault.

00:13:37.400 It wasn't your fault.

00:13:40.480 Yesterday, I went to a park with the kid and everything.

00:13:43.920 Went out there and had some fun.

00:13:45.360 But I saw like a...

00:13:47.720 Is your kid still retarded or is he normal now? 1.00

00:13:50.480 No. 0.87

00:13:51.160 Well, it was normal. 0.97

00:13:52.040 Like he was retarded. 1.00

00:13:53.400 Became normal. 0.77

00:13:54.140 Yesterday, the park fell off.

00:13:55.720 Retarded again. 1.00

00:13:57.300 What did he fall off of? 1.00

00:14:02.960 That's how you do a fucking drop. 1.00

00:14:05.060 That was sick. 1.00

00:14:06.360 I hate that drop still though.

00:14:08.080 It scares me every time.

00:14:09.460 What's crazy about that video is that we now know that they do that intentionally.

00:14:13.540 Yes.

00:14:13.780 There's another one.

00:14:14.640 Because another one.

00:14:15.320 Same dude. 1.00

00:14:16.100 Jumping off of the same fucking thing. 0.99

00:14:19.220 But it's dark out. 0.99

00:14:20.160 I think it was in shallow water.

00:14:20.760 It's dark out.

00:14:21.300 I don't know what it was.

00:14:21.920 No, but I saw what I could like...

00:14:26.860 I'm trying to think how to put this.

00:14:29.400 Like, you know, definitely an emo kid.

00:14:32.200 But like, for some reason, they love still wearing masks.

00:14:34.840 They really like still wearing masks.

00:14:36.380 Whereas wearing...

00:14:36.960 In Alabama? 1.00

00:14:37.840 What a faggot. 1.00

00:14:38.680 Yeah, it was wearing... 1.00

00:14:40.220 Outside.

00:14:41.400 It's so funny.

00:14:42.180 So we're at like...

00:14:43.440 At the swings.

00:14:43.980 I didn't know they made those dudes in Alabama.

00:14:46.780 Dude, it was crazy.

00:14:47.400 It was crazy.

00:14:47.860 So first when I...

00:14:50.020 So we were at like a park.

00:14:51.240 So it was just like jungle gym.

00:14:52.900 Like for little kids.

00:14:53.880 And then like a swing set.

00:14:56.080 And so like my son wants to swing.

00:14:58.300 So we go to swing.

00:14:59.060 And then this thing comes up.

00:15:00.800 And like it starts swinging.

00:15:03.280 Like on the phone.

00:15:04.900 How old is it?

00:15:06.260 I'm guessing 14, 15.

00:15:09.180 Okay.

00:15:09.880 It's hard to tell.

00:15:10.640 Because again, mask.

00:15:12.040 Long black hair.

00:15:14.040 What kind of mask?

00:15:14.700 If the kid was like seven.

00:15:16.060 Seven year old emo kid.

00:15:17.680 Like not like a stylized one.

00:15:22.320 Like a style...

00:15:22.680 You know, like a...

00:15:24.120 An N95.

00:15:25.380 No, it wasn't N95.

00:15:26.100 Like an assassin?

00:15:27.200 No, no.

00:15:28.000 That would be pretty cool.

00:15:28.400 Oh, I know what you mean.

00:15:29.000 Like Bane. 1.00

00:15:30.360 No, like a fucking... 1.00

00:15:31.520 Just like the ones that you... 1.00

00:15:33.000 Like if...

00:15:34.280 During COVID, if you were like...

00:15:35.920 Like an astronaut helmet? 0.88

00:15:38.060 Like if you were real fat. 0.74

00:15:39.920 And you're like...

00:15:40.340 I'm going to be all artsy about this.

00:15:41.460 Are you just talking about the sleeve little things that people would like?

00:15:44.240 Those type of...

00:15:44.920 Oh, like a bandana.

00:15:46.000 You're talking about a Lucha Libre? 0.99

00:15:49.240 There's a fucking Lucha Libre. 0.99

00:15:50.840 A fortunate Lucha Libre. 0.99

00:15:53.520 It just started doing wrestling moves in the middle of the park.

00:15:55.600 It was amazing. 0.99

00:15:56.640 The whole fucking... 0.99

00:15:58.000 No, just like... 0.99

00:15:58.940 Lucha Libre actually kind of sounds cool.

00:16:01.180 Not one of those.

00:16:02.460 Like the ones that you would buy that were like cloth or something like that.

00:16:05.420 But they just had a pattern on it.

00:16:07.060 Like people wore during COVID.

00:16:08.820 Instead of wearing that, those... 0.79

00:16:10.180 Yeah, they were like the ones that you could like just kind of put it around your...

00:16:12.660 The gaiters.

00:16:13.040 Yes, it was just...

00:16:13.720 It was around the gaiters.

00:16:14.580 Yeah, yeah.

00:16:15.080 It wasn't even a gaiter.

00:16:16.660 It was just the mask.

00:16:18.260 Like just the COVID mask thing.

00:16:20.260 Like that everybody was buying and wearing.

00:16:22.400 Oh, it was just the one that...

00:16:23.200 Yeah, you can like just pull it up onto your face.

00:16:25.180 Yeah.

00:16:25.460 Yes, but it's not a gaiter.

00:16:26.680 Like it didn't go around the neck.

00:16:27.820 It was just...

00:16:28.360 It's so hard.

00:16:29.820 Okay.

00:16:30.380 Was it doing it...

00:16:31.320 Was it doing it because it was concerned for its health?

00:16:34.260 Or was it...

00:16:34.640 I think it was doing it because it's the emo thing to do.

00:16:38.100 It was like wear the mask with fishnet gloves and like big boots and everything and long black hair.

00:16:48.860 And so I was like, I guess this goth girl is just sitting here. 0.98

00:16:51.360 So until the mom came over, fat mom, like big fat ugly mom and says, you only got 15 more minutes here before we have to go. 1.00

00:17:00.220 And he's like, no mom. 0.97

00:17:01.180 It's like, it mentioned like a male, like it said he or him or like something like that to it.

00:17:09.800 And I was like, oh, it's a dude, like the whole time.

00:17:12.760 And so like Elizabeth afterwards, she was like, I actually...

00:17:16.000 Is this story going somewhere or...

00:17:17.220 No, I just saw a crazy person in public.

00:17:19.980 Just bug off, kid at the park.

00:17:20.900 Yeah.

00:17:21.120 No, so he was going to something...

00:17:22.380 To me, it was like, I just didn't...

00:17:26.040 Like it's just weird as a white person in Alabama seeing it, you know, also in Alabama.

00:17:31.700 And it kind of surprised me.

00:17:32.100 It's almost like an endangered species just wandering into your town.

00:17:34.840 Yeah, it's almost like they got picked up out of a My Chemical Romance concert in Boston. 0.98

00:17:38.860 Yes, I wanted to kill it. 0.98

00:17:40.080 I wanted to like... 0.99

00:17:40.640 Elizabeth was like, I kind of wanted to leave the park whenever I saw it. 0.83

00:17:44.040 I mean, look, you can't let those things be there.

00:17:46.240 The more we'll gravitate towards.

00:17:47.900 It's like a homeless person. 1.00

00:17:48.660 You just got to kill the first one you see. 1.00

00:17:50.300 Real quick, I got to... 0.99

00:17:51.680 This story ties in perfectly because when I was in art school in ninth...

00:17:55.320 Or class, not school.

00:17:56.960 In 1942. 0.99

00:17:58.980 They're fucking roasting me in this thing. 0.99

00:18:01.280 Clim is painting just like you did. 1.00

00:18:02.700 It's fine.

00:18:03.080 I said, they'll see.

00:18:05.360 I was in art class in ninth grade and there was this guy. 1.00

00:18:08.860 He's named Kirby who had long hair and bitch tits. 1.00

00:18:12.380 And our art teacher, Mr. Lightfoot came over because me and my buddy were clowning on Kirby. 0.99

00:18:18.580 And the art teacher, Mr. Lightfoot, I repeat, Mr. Lightfoot, Native American, comes over

00:18:24.280 and he said, I'm not exaggerating, but it's a white guy, obviously.

00:18:27.080 But he calls himself Mr. Lightfoot and he dresses in all Indian garb. 1.00

00:18:29.820 Total fucking pedophile as far as I'm concerned, allegedly. 1.00

00:18:32.740 And he goes, hey guys, stop making fun of her. 1.00

00:18:36.620 And Kirby looks at him and he goes, I'm a boy.

00:18:40.900 He says it just like that.

00:18:42.280 And it was the funniest thing ever.

00:18:44.940 In hindsight, it's one of the saddest things that's ever happened.

00:18:47.660 But in the moment, it was the greatest thing that had ever happened to me in high school. 0.96

00:18:51.360 It was so fucking funny. 0.94

00:18:52.560 By the way, I would have cried hard. 0.98

00:18:55.080 By the way, to top all this off, Toad, I'll finish this.

00:18:58.500 To top all this off, at the park also, at the same time, were Frisbee golfers. 0.99

00:19:02.600 And they were probably gayer than the fucking meth emo kid, by the way, the whole time. 0.98

00:19:08.240 Have you ever Frisbee golfed? 1.00

00:19:09.840 Because if you haven't, don't you dare talk shit about it. 1.00

00:19:11.840 It's fun as fuck. 1.00

00:19:12.840 But it looks pretty gay. 1.00

00:19:14.460 Is there anything else you'd like to tell us? 0.98

00:19:15.420 It's gay. 1.00

00:19:15.700 You carry around that fucking gay bag. 1.00

00:19:17.300 You're like, I'm not going to actually golf and have golf clubs. 1.00

00:19:20.420 I'm going to have another bag, but it's just full of Frisbees.

00:19:22.720 And then we're going to track around.

00:19:24.860 First of all, it's called Froth.

00:19:25.740 I play with one disc.

00:19:27.720 Yeah, it is Froth.

00:19:28.660 It's Froth.

00:19:29.080 Yeah.

00:19:29.460 You put a disc in a hole. 1.00

00:19:31.360 You motherfucker. 1.00

00:19:32.040 You're trying to hit a pole with it. 1.00

00:19:33.820 Before I left Southern California, I owned a Froth bag. 1.00

00:19:38.120 So, fuck it. 1.00

00:19:42.000 Well, it's fucking rough. 1.00

00:19:44.300 I'm on the worst slump of my life, man. 0.98

00:19:46.360 I'm doing so bad right now.

00:19:48.540 Cole, if something is gay, it doesn't mean it's necessarily not for me.

00:19:52.720 It's not fun.

00:19:53.560 I'm just going to put that out there.

00:19:54.940 You're having a bad time with gambling?

00:19:56.480 Who would have thought that would work out that way?

00:19:58.540 No, no.

00:19:59.240 Let's dig into this.

00:20:00.140 I was going to say, how many days in a row have you lost and how much have you lost?

00:20:03.560 Are you dealing with the consequences of your actions, Toad?

00:20:07.680 How much have you lost and how many days have you lost in a row?

00:20:11.140 I don't even know how many days I've lost in a row.

00:20:13.400 Actually, it's not that many days in a row right now because I did have one winning day in there a few days ago.

00:20:18.480 Well, it's also during the time of March Madness, so probably one of the biggest times for him of betting.

00:20:25.540 Yeah, by March Madness, I'm 4 and 5, I think, which is not good, but it's actually the other sports that are kind of crushing me.

00:20:32.420 And it's like some of the other college basketball is kind of hitting me hard, too.

00:20:36.460 I don't need specifics like this.

00:20:38.260 I just want to know about your pain.

00:20:39.960 I'm down 7,000 in the last 30 days.

00:20:44.160 Wow.

00:20:45.660 It's probably the worst 30-day stretch.

00:20:47.900 Have you found yourself reflecting on that spot where you left the revolver?

00:20:51.720 Like, should you go get it?

00:20:53.340 In his betting chat.

00:20:55.420 Do you find yourself caressing the outside of it?

00:20:57.920 In his betting chat, he multiple times has been like, I'm ready to jump.

00:21:01.480 I'm about to do this.

00:21:02.600 By the way, earlier this morning, Toad just messages, I'm going to kill myself.

00:21:08.340 No one even responded.

00:21:09.680 We just carried on as if life was normal.

00:21:12.080 You can only threaten this so many times before we're like, I don't care.

00:21:16.080 It's not a threat.

00:21:19.200 Look at that.

00:21:20.300 Look at that.

00:21:20.800 What's up, everyone?

00:21:21.720 This is Toad.

00:21:22.580 I'm back for Better Off Dead.

00:21:24.900 Wednesday, March 26th.

00:21:26.680 As we continue with the worst month that I've ever had in my 18 years. 0.98

00:21:31.660 Killing it. 0.97

00:21:32.260 I don't know what to do. 0.99

00:21:33.260 That's a rumble, right?

00:21:34.080 Yesterday, 0-4 by a combined 4-point slash goals.

00:21:39.920 2,000 views on rumble.

00:21:40.680 What can you even say about this?

00:21:41.440 You need to at least get beating Misfit. 1.00

00:21:43.380 You can't be losing Misfit. 1.00

00:21:43.900 Go to the very start of the video.

00:21:46.380 It is the very start.

00:21:47.540 No.

00:21:49.180 No, it is.

00:21:49.540 You need to at least get over 50 views for these, Toad.

00:21:51.660 Yep.

00:21:52.500 Inside, I want to kill myself. 0.87

00:21:56.680 By the way, you have such low views that YouTube isn't even giving the suicide prevention hotline thing.

00:22:03.240 It always puts on my camera.

00:22:04.800 My show, because I do that weekly call-in, it's called Already Dead.

00:22:07.980 I swear, every three or four episodes, I get flagged the episode and it takes it down because the name of the title.

00:22:14.660 But Toad can just literally threaten to kill himself on stream. 1.00

00:22:18.060 Just give him a flying fuck. 1.00

00:22:20.740 Do you ever think to yourself that the mechanism by which you evaluate sports betting 1.00

00:22:26.000 might be flawed?

00:22:27.780 No, because I've been doing it for like two decades.

00:22:30.520 Exactly.

00:22:31.180 Yeah, I know, but you never really need a lot of money.

00:22:34.040 Well, I mean, in 2022, 2023, I was up 40 grand.

00:22:39.040 But that's one year out of 20.

00:22:41.700 No, no, no.

00:22:42.740 I've only had two losing years ever in 18 years.

00:22:46.080 I know, but, like, you're doing bad right now.

00:22:48.380 Yeah, I know.

00:22:49.840 By the way, he's doing it.

00:22:51.260 I don't think I have to reevaluate.

00:22:52.520 When last night, my 0-4, every play was a loss by one point or fewer.

00:22:58.260 I think you'd pee-pee-poo-poo man for the 20 bucks. 1.00

00:23:00.940 I'll throw it by a combined four points, man.

00:23:02.560 Toad's going to piss it away.

00:23:04.020 Hold on.

00:23:05.060 Pee-poo-poo-poo man said, Toad, don't piss this $20 away.

00:23:07.660 Toad, I want you to give pee-pee-poo-poo man what, for that $20, 0.99

00:23:11.440 where would you bet it tonight?

00:23:12.820 And how you can turn that $20 into more than $20.

00:23:17.380 I think my play is already tipped off, probably.

00:23:20.420 I'm on UC Irvine, minus the points.

00:23:22.240 That's my only bet.

00:23:23.180 It's a very small card.

00:23:24.240 I just want to point out that Toad's becoming such a degenerate

00:23:26.720 that he actually has live sporting events playing in his room

00:23:29.840 as he does this podcast.

00:23:31.460 Almost every week he does.

00:23:32.980 Just pause it.

00:23:34.960 Pause it?

00:23:35.720 Do you not have DVR?

00:23:37.800 I'm not going to watch this later, man.

00:23:39.760 Do you not have DVR?

00:23:41.100 No, no.

00:23:41.440 He doesn't know how to use DVR.

00:23:42.720 He doesn't know how to use it.

00:23:43.440 No, I have DVR.

00:23:44.420 I'm just not going to use it.

00:23:45.140 You're going to have the anxiety in real time.

00:23:46.960 He goes, I'm not going to watch it later.

00:23:48.820 You're not watching it now.

00:23:50.160 I know.

00:23:50.560 I just like to look over occasionally and go, 1.00

00:23:52.380 Oh, fuck. 1.00

00:23:54.440 Can you hear it? 1.00

00:23:55.680 It's the Lakers.

00:23:56.760 I have it on one volume.

00:23:59.300 That's what you do.

00:24:00.120 You look over, you check the score, 0.96

00:24:01.900 and then you freak the fuck out, 0.87

00:24:03.380 or you go, Oh. 0.93

00:24:03.900 And then you move on.

00:24:05.420 What's funny is you missed this, Clint,

00:24:07.880 but in the pre-show,

00:24:11.900 Toad was having really bad mic problems.

00:24:15.440 And so Tyler was walking through.

00:24:17.000 He was like, hey, go do this, do this, this.

00:24:18.940 Toad adamantly was like, no.

00:24:21.100 I'm not like it.

00:24:21.700 And so it's just so funny because it doesn't matter what it is.

00:24:25.120 Like, do you have DVR?

00:24:26.100 And he was like, what?

00:24:27.620 It's just like with the mic problems,

00:24:29.460 Tyler was like, hey, do you have this?

00:24:31.200 And he goes, yeah.

00:24:32.240 And he's like, how about you max out the levels on that,

00:24:35.380 and maybe it'll help.

00:24:36.020 And he goes, no. 0.96

00:24:37.120 It's just fucking just, it's like, 0.98

00:24:39.900 it's just dealing with a toddler, dude. 0.99

00:24:42.220 No, it isn't.

00:24:43.300 There's a difference between the sound card

00:24:44.980 and the external interface.

00:24:47.720 All right, you guys ready to do some mailbag? 1.00

00:24:49.420 Actually, finally get these fuckers what they paid for. 0.99

00:24:52.720 You guys want to do that? 1.00

00:24:53.680 Or are we that objected to it, Clint?

00:24:55.780 Are we going to let bygones be bygones?

00:24:57.100 They've been nice lately, I think.

00:24:58.800 I hope you mean that.

00:24:59.900 Don't tease me, man.

00:25:01.660 I need a win.

00:25:02.740 Do whatever you want.

00:25:03.520 Mark Vestibule says, 1.00

00:25:07.640 you have been sentenced to death for fucking kids. 1.00

00:25:13.360 Would you rather have been innocent or guilty of the crime? 1.00

00:25:16.020 You're going to hell regardless. 0.98

00:25:18.780 Oh, that is. 0.98

00:25:21.280 Yeah, that's innocent.

00:25:23.860 Toad's the only one that can say guilty. 0.99

00:25:24.900 You're going to hell, Mark. 0.99

00:25:26.240 That's wrong. 0.99

00:25:27.060 The question is.

00:25:28.180 This is actually a great question for Toad,

00:25:30.060 because if the question is, 0.98

00:25:31.800 do you die a virgin or do you die an actual pedophile? 0.99

00:25:37.420 What's worse? 1.00

00:25:38.300 It's a coin flip.

00:25:39.700 No, no. 0.97

00:25:40.460 You've got to die pure. 0.99

00:25:41.660 That's the way to go. 1.00

00:25:43.780 You're still going to hell. 0.97

00:25:45.220 But then again, 0.99

00:25:45.880 if you're going to hell regardless, 0.95

00:25:47.080 you're getting executed regardless. 0.88

00:25:49.320 And also, everybody else.

00:25:50.440 You probably just want to be guilty of it, man.

00:25:51.700 Also, by the way, 0.97

00:25:52.900 everybody also thinks you're already a pedophile. 0.97

00:25:54.820 It doesn't matter. 0.83

00:25:55.720 That's the question.

00:25:56.260 Do people think that you are?

00:25:57.760 Yes.

00:25:58.980 Synthesis is that they found you guilty.

00:26:00.640 They found you guilty.

00:26:02.120 It doesn't mean you weren't.

00:26:03.580 So this is easy then.

00:26:05.240 Guilty.

00:26:05.920 I think Clint was right to be wary of Mark.

00:26:08.700 That's what I think.

00:26:10.100 Yeah, thank you.

00:26:10.840 I mean, if everybody thinks it's true,

00:26:13.120 I mean, you.

00:26:14.560 If everybody thinks it's true, 1.00

00:26:16.220 you might as well fuck a kid. 1.00

00:26:17.760 Is this really your argument? 1.00

00:26:19.340 Yeah.

00:26:19.740 By the way. 0.99

00:26:20.420 You're going to hell anyways. 1.00

00:26:21.860 You might as well fuck a kid. 1.00

00:26:23.120 I'm going to turn it around. 1.00

00:26:23.900 What the fuck, dude? 0.99

00:26:25.220 Somebody will do a wellness check on that, dude. 1.00

00:26:27.640 The whole world thing. 1.00

00:26:29.080 Send a whole goddamn SWAT team. 1.00

00:26:30.720 Everybody thinks I'm a pedophile. 1.00

00:26:32.480 Might as well be one. 0.96

00:26:35.120 Can't beat them, join them.

00:26:36.400 That's what I always say.

00:26:37.760 No one was even accusing you of it.

00:26:40.000 Like, well, yeah, they were.

00:26:42.740 They were thinking it.

00:26:44.020 I could tell by the looks. 1.00

00:26:45.060 So I went and fuck this kid. 1.00

00:26:47.920 Oh, my God. 1.00

00:26:49.160 What kind of way are you living your life, Mark?

00:26:51.860 Give me the alternative line.

00:26:55.460 No one ever accuse him of being a pedophile, please.

00:26:58.680 He's so not a pedophile.

00:27:02.780 Yeah, for the safety of all of the children of Boston,

00:27:05.720 don't ever accuse Toad of being a pedophile. 1.00

00:27:07.620 Oh, shit. 1.00

00:27:08.080 We already did. 1.00

00:27:09.100 Please do not. 1.00

00:27:10.400 He's fucked. 1.00

00:27:11.780 I'm playing 4D chess here, man. 1.00

00:27:13.480 That's what I'm doing here.

00:27:14.600 It's just to get you to stop doing that.

00:27:17.320 Dude, don't you feel like Toad would be the type of guy

00:27:19.140 to get caught on pedophile hunters? 0.96

00:27:20.680 I feel disgusting after writing that. 0.98

00:27:23.460 That's it.

00:27:25.020 All right, what's the next one?

00:27:26.680 Oh, my God.

00:27:27.440 Oh, my God.

00:27:29.020 Charles.

00:27:29.520 Charles, would you rather, one, live with Bria and Shea?

00:27:34.120 I don't know who that is.

00:27:35.100 Who are they? 0.63

00:27:35.860 It sounds like two black women. 1.00

00:27:36.980 That would be my guess.

00:27:38.100 Two live in Mumbai.

00:27:39.940 You can't leave Mumbai or their house 1.00

00:27:41.960 for more than a week per year. 0.97

00:27:44.300 How the fuck do I know who Bria and Shea is? 0.99

00:27:45.780 Yeah, leave her alone, man. 1.00

00:27:47.420 Look what you did.

00:27:48.300 Oh, yeah.

00:27:48.460 Oh, is that these guys?

00:27:50.900 Did she tie it?

00:27:51.860 Let me see.

00:27:52.940 She hurt me a little.

00:27:54.220 Are we on a Grande shirt on?

00:27:56.020 Oh, they are black. 1.00

00:27:56.980 Sit down. 1.00

00:27:57.880 Bria, stop it. 1.00

00:27:58.600 Don't hit her like that, Shea. 0.99

00:27:59.480 Those titties do move, honey. 1.00

00:28:01.460 They'll be hanging. 0.97

00:28:02.460 Bria, Bria.

00:28:03.980 Look at her.

00:28:04.700 Them things ain't thirsty. 0.80

00:28:06.300 I'm going to go with Bria and Shea

00:28:07.880 for a couple of reasons.

00:28:09.600 One, I think the food would probably

00:28:11.480 actually be better.

00:28:12.980 Two, they might die.

00:28:14.900 So, you have that going for you.

00:28:16.580 The entire population of Mumbai

00:28:18.660 isn't going to die.

00:28:19.680 Can I live in Mumbai

00:28:20.800 with the same job, income,

00:28:22.600 and everything I have now?

00:28:23.580 Because if that's the case,

00:28:25.120 I basically would run Mumbai, right?

00:28:26.800 I think you could just take your assets

00:28:28.020 and be a king there, dude.

00:28:29.360 Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

00:28:30.360 The answer is so easily Mumbai.

00:28:32.560 There's still attractive women in Mumbai. 1.00

00:28:35.080 There's not like a crazy amount of them,

00:28:36.660 but there are some. 0.99

00:28:37.880 There's no fucking attractive women 1.00

00:28:39.240 in Bria and Shea. 1.00

00:28:39.860 Living with that just seems like a nightmare.

00:28:43.440 Most attractive women in Mumbai

00:28:45.480 is what I'm going to look up.

00:28:46.980 Yeah, but they still smell.

00:28:47.640 I guarantee you there's some smoke show.

00:28:49.540 Is there such a thing 0.84

00:28:50.820 as an attractive black woman?

00:28:53.720 Well, Mumbai is Indian, by the way. 0.98

00:28:55.260 But you have to clothespin your nose.

00:28:56.960 You know what I mean?

00:28:57.460 We call them clothespinners.

00:28:58.940 Jesus Christ, dude.

00:29:00.240 Wow.

00:29:01.340 What?

00:29:02.020 I mean, there's like...

00:29:03.100 What?

00:29:04.040 What's happening?

00:29:07.580 I will say,

00:29:08.760 Toad has a point there

00:29:09.680 with the better food

00:29:11.120 with Bria and Shea

00:29:11.880 because I'm pretty sure

00:29:12.540 they probably do. 1.00

00:29:13.240 They're fat black women. 1.00

00:29:14.400 No, I bet their food 1.00

00:29:15.420 is fucking disgusting. 1.00

00:29:16.940 Dude, I bet you 1.00

00:29:17.500 if you have money...

00:29:18.720 You guys are so wrong.

00:29:20.040 If you have money, 1.00

00:29:20.820 I bet you there's fucking 1.00

00:29:21.680 dope restaurants in Mumbai 1.00

00:29:23.840 that do not fuck your shit up. 1.00

00:29:25.180 It's just the street food. 1.00

00:29:26.880 I don't know about that.

00:29:28.620 I bet you. 0.99

00:29:29.340 Of course there's good fucking food 1.00

00:29:31.240 in Mumbai. 1.00

00:29:31.900 Of course there is.

00:29:33.220 Maybe they'll need 1.00

00:29:33.860 the street shit. 1.00

00:29:35.020 You'd rather live 1.00

00:29:35.600 with those two disgusting 1.00

00:29:36.420 welfare fucking whores 1.00

00:29:37.520 for a year? 1.00

00:29:38.660 To be the king of Mumbai.

00:29:39.580 I mean, they were 0.98

00:29:40.020 legit retarded, too. 0.94

00:29:41.540 Yeah. 1.00

00:29:42.320 You could steal from them

00:29:43.520 as well.

00:29:43.960 You could steal their...

00:29:45.420 You could basically...

00:29:46.700 They're going to steal from you.

00:29:48.200 No, no, no.

00:29:48.780 You think you're going to 0.99

00:29:49.380 steal from the blacks? 0.99

00:29:50.600 Yeah. 0.99

00:29:51.480 You're taking

00:29:51.760 and stealing water 0.63

00:29:52.380 from the ocean?

00:29:53.860 What are you doing here?

00:29:55.100 Are you looking

00:29:55.880 and hunting for escorts?

00:29:57.160 What are we doing?

00:29:57.700 It says top 50 female models

00:29:59.500 in Mumbai.

00:30:00.000 Do you want to read

00:30:00.800 the top of it?

00:30:01.520 Look, right there.

00:30:02.200 We're going to buy them?

00:30:02.940 Okay.

00:30:03.660 This is what we're saying.

00:30:04.820 This is the top.

00:30:06.200 This is the tippy top.

00:30:07.360 The tippy top.

00:30:08.940 Revathi Nair.

00:30:10.200 It's not bad.

00:30:11.180 Oh, a white woman. 1.00

00:30:12.840 There's a white one 0.97

00:30:14.140 right there. 0.95

00:30:15.160 Hell yeah. 0.98

00:30:16.380 There are white women 0.97

00:30:17.260 living in Mumbai?

00:30:17.420 Most of these are...

00:30:18.780 I mean, most of those

00:30:19.860 girls are like fives, 1.00

00:30:21.040 but whatever.

00:30:21.960 They're still better 1.00

00:30:22.520 than the fucking black female. 1.00

00:30:23.340 The problem is 1.00

00:30:24.040 the white woman's 1.00

00:30:24.940 probably going to get raped 1.00

00:30:25.740 before you get there, though. 1.00

00:30:26.760 There you go.

00:30:36.340 That's how you dismount, baby.

00:30:37.860 You broke it.

00:30:38.360 That's how you dismount.

00:30:39.780 Next question.

00:30:40.620 Charles says,

00:30:47.000 if you were...

00:30:47.480 Did he just submit two?

00:30:48.660 What's going on here?

00:30:49.220 If you were on the show

00:30:50.020 Love on the Spectrum,

00:30:50.880 what would your intro be?

00:30:52.660 Likes slash dislikes?

00:30:53.820 I don't know.

00:30:54.160 How does this work?

00:30:54.660 I like trains!

00:30:55.940 Yeah, I never watched

00:30:56.760 Love on the Spectrum,

00:30:57.420 so they have, like...

00:30:58.580 I guess it would be, like,

00:30:59.720 any type of reality TV show

00:31:01.600 intro kind of thing.

00:31:02.980 Well, we already have this

00:31:04.300 for Togue,

00:31:04.900 because he sent in an admission.

00:31:06.480 Yeah, I was going to say that.

00:31:07.560 Why have you not watched

00:31:09.560 Love on the Spectrum?

00:31:10.260 It's so good.

00:31:11.580 I'm not big into reality TV shows.

00:31:13.740 Oh, dude, that doesn't matter. 0.97

00:31:15.280 This is fucking amazing. 0.98

00:31:17.180 It's art. 1.00

00:31:17.560 Is that good?

00:31:18.260 It's amazing.

00:31:19.660 I know we watched some of it,

00:31:21.120 and I think it would be fun

00:31:23.080 if we did a watch-along.

00:31:24.620 Maybe when we get together

00:31:25.780 at Top's house next.

00:31:27.040 All right.

00:31:27.440 We do a watch-along,

00:31:28.740 and I can watch it

00:31:29.340 for the first time,

00:31:29.880 and we can just do

00:31:30.340 a watch-along with it.

00:31:31.300 All right.

00:31:31.960 My intro...

00:31:33.000 Yeah, it'll be a bonus episode

00:31:34.220 or something.

00:31:34.720 My intro would be, yeah,

00:31:35.920 what you guys just said.

00:31:36.760 It was listing all of my

00:31:38.620 Halloween costumes victories.

00:31:40.260 This is a great question,

00:31:41.260 by the way.

00:31:42.800 Pistolero.

00:31:43.740 Toad is your high school

00:31:44.820 geometry teacher.

00:31:46.560 What antics do you

00:31:47.780 as a student's pull

00:31:48.480 to make his life miserable?

00:31:50.740 Miserable. 0.53

00:31:51.420 What?

00:31:52.020 These sorts of antics?

00:31:57.360 Dude, it would be...

00:31:58.860 Honestly, he would still

00:31:59.920 be in the gambling.

00:32:00.680 His mind's broken.

00:32:02.020 So half of it would be just like...

00:32:03.880 Well, I hate geometry.

00:32:04.340 It's not my favorite

00:32:05.080 of the mathematics.

00:32:06.700 No, that's perfect,

00:32:08.020 because that means

00:32:08.660 you already hate

00:32:10.100 what you're teaching,

00:32:11.000 and so that makes it

00:32:11.640 even better for us

00:32:12.400 as the students 1.00

00:32:13.000 being able to fuck with you, 1.00

00:32:14.020 because we know 1.00

00:32:14.400 you don't like it.

00:32:15.060 One...

00:32:16.240 Oh, you did not calculate

00:32:17.340 that cosecant correctly. 1.00

00:32:19.440 Shut the fuck up. 1.00

00:32:22.900 We would definitely 1.00

00:32:23.660 get you sidetracked

00:32:24.480 on talking about gambling,

00:32:25.660 and basically,

00:32:26.600 the entire...

00:32:27.420 Like, at that point,

00:32:28.100 the entire class is over.

00:32:29.880 Like, it's just

00:32:30.360 you talking about gambling

00:32:31.160 for the next hour,

00:32:32.300 to which then we...

00:32:33.160 It's just...

00:32:33.720 I would just...

00:32:34.960 I would constantly be

00:32:36.020 tangenting...

00:32:37.060 Oh, for sure.

00:32:37.520 ...into rants

00:32:38.100 about sports betting,

00:32:39.180 because then I'd say,

00:32:40.060 it's a tangent.

00:32:40.860 That's geometry. 1.00

00:32:41.520 Fuck your mother. 1.00

00:32:42.140 I would, honestly, 1.00

00:32:45.580 I would do the whole, like,

00:32:47.700 tax on your seat,

00:32:48.960 and do it in, like, 1.00

00:32:49.820 fucking, like... 1.00

00:32:50.960 I'm trying to think 1.00

00:32:51.520 what else we could do to you.

00:32:52.840 I'd probably just... 1.00

00:32:54.160 I'd just shoot the school. 0.99

00:32:55.820 We're going to talk about 0.99

00:32:56.660 the Pythagorean theorem today,

00:32:59.140 but we're going to talk about it

00:33:00.080 in terms of how we could

00:33:01.760 figure out

00:33:02.800 and estimate

00:33:04.080 the amount of wins

00:33:04.860 this baseball team

00:33:05.900 is going to have this season.

00:33:06.180 This is a perfect thing.

00:33:07.580 We would get women to... 1.00

00:33:08.800 Because, basically,

00:33:09.800 we would accuse you 0.95

00:33:11.380 of being a pedophile, 0.99

00:33:12.700 and then... 0.90

00:33:13.700 Just because my class

00:33:14.460 is flashing me?

00:33:15.380 Because I'm, obviously,

00:33:17.140 a high schooler,

00:33:17.680 so it'd be okay,

00:33:18.280 so I'd have all the nudes 0.70

00:33:19.220 of the other high school chicks

00:33:20.240 that I'm dating,

00:33:20.920 and I would airdrop them

00:33:22.620 into Toad's phone,

00:33:23.420 and then I'd call 1.00

00:33:23.900 the fucking principal 1.00

00:33:24.620 and call the cops 1.00

00:33:25.280 and get them fucking locked up. 0.99

00:33:27.760 Yeah, but then wouldn't I be 0.99

00:33:28.720 one of those, like,

00:33:29.340 heroic teachers?

00:33:30.440 It's like,

00:33:30.720 hell yeah, 0.99

00:33:31.260 you're banging your students. 1.00

00:33:33.140 No, you'd be a pedophile, dude. 0.99

00:33:34.780 Yeah, that's not... 0.67

00:33:35.860 No one ever does that.

00:33:37.480 I don't think people

00:33:38.960 ever go, like, 1.00

00:33:39.960 fuck you, dude. 1.00

00:33:40.760 That geometry teacher 1.00

00:33:42.660 was really fucking 0.99

00:33:43.340 laying five-balled 0.99

00:33:44.640 geometry teacher

00:33:45.320 is killing it. 0.79

00:33:46.480 The teacher is a woman, 0.99

00:33:47.800 I do.

00:33:48.820 That geometry teacher 0.99

00:33:49.640 really fucking crushed puss, 0.99

00:33:51.120 you know what I mean? 0.99

00:33:51.820 Why is there double standard?

00:33:53.660 Honestly, though,

00:33:54.820 that should be the thing,

00:33:56.440 though.

00:33:56.600 If a geometry teacher, 0.99

00:33:57.580 like, fat, bald, 0.99

00:33:58.520 ugly teacher, 1.00

00:33:59.680 dude, 1.00

00:34:00.820 fuck some toit, 1.00

00:34:02.600 like, 1.00

00:34:03.340 16-year-old,

00:34:05.920 props to him.

00:34:07.260 I mean, props to him.

00:34:08.200 I'm just gonna say it.

00:34:09.160 Nope.

00:34:09.540 Props to him

00:34:12.340 for being able to pull,

00:34:13.220 like,

00:34:13.480 the toitice of the,

00:34:14.780 if it's the toitice

00:34:15.900 of the whole school,

00:34:16.580 high school.

00:34:18.220 Oh, so you're saying

00:34:18.800 it's the most attractive

00:34:19.660 16-year-old,

00:34:20.820 and that makes it okay?

00:34:22.120 I'm not saying

00:34:22.680 it makes it okay.

00:34:23.920 You're on your own

00:34:24.640 with that one, buddy.

00:34:25.980 I'm not saying,

00:34:26.380 I'm saying...

00:34:27.120 When in Rome?

00:34:30.820 I won't put it out there.

00:34:31.820 Not saying it's okay.

00:34:33.240 Not saying I condone it at all.

00:34:35.100 If you were so regarded,

00:34:36.020 you would go far in politics.

00:34:38.120 I'm just saying,

00:34:39.240 this guy...

00:34:40.160 If it's toad

00:34:41.040 and he's a geometry teacher,

00:34:42.280 then...

00:34:42.560 And he was able to pull it?

00:34:43.960 If he could pull it off,

00:34:45.600 I'm impressed by what you did.

00:34:47.760 I don't condone it.

00:34:49.480 Interesting.

00:34:49.680 You're gonna stay after class.

00:34:50.680 Just at the party,

00:34:52.060 like, 1.00

00:34:52.200 so when do we fuck kids 1.00

00:34:53.400 for political power? 1.00

00:34:54.540 When does that happen?

00:34:55.980 What stage is that?

00:34:57.420 I'm not saying I condone it.

00:34:58.860 I'm just saying,

00:34:59.820 noise.

00:35:00.680 What does that happen?

00:35:01.920 That guy jumping off that cliff.

00:35:04.040 I don't condone that.

00:35:05.600 Impressive.

00:35:06.460 Like,

00:35:06.840 very definitely impressive.

00:35:08.360 Don't condone doing it at all.

00:35:09.900 I don't condone any of this,

00:35:10.540 but...

00:35:10.700 Would never do it myself.

00:35:11.740 She's toad. 1.00

00:35:12.740 Noised.

00:35:14.260 I can't believe you pulled it off.

00:35:15.540 She's a bad person. 0.96

00:35:17.900 You're awful cool.

00:35:19.780 Pistolero says...

00:35:20.940 Oh, wait.

00:35:22.200 Oh, it's the same one.

00:35:22.920 That's the one.

00:35:23.520 That might be the last one.

00:35:24.580 I don't know.

00:35:25.800 Oh, Cody Monson.

00:35:26.740 Oh, Cody...

00:35:27.220 Hold on.

00:35:27.580 I gotta bring this up.

00:35:28.620 Cody Monson.

00:35:29.000 So we're talking to a cop.

00:35:29.920 Do I look like a pedophile?

00:35:31.300 It's like...

00:35:32.020 Yeah, dude.

00:35:32.820 You're going to do forever. 1.00

00:35:33.760 Dude, you're the most pedophile-looking pedophile 1.00

00:35:36.000 we've ever got. 1.00

00:35:38.700 Go ahead and sit right down.

00:35:40.040 Honestly,

00:35:40.620 honestly,

00:35:41.000 like,

00:35:41.180 you just have to...

00:35:41.860 Like,

00:35:42.020 even if you got falsely accused,

00:35:43.920 you'd have to take a plea deal

00:35:45.120 because you're going down forever.

00:35:46.700 You also would have zero character witnesses

00:35:48.960 while your friends hate you. 1.00

00:35:51.500 God damn it. 1.00

00:35:54.100 Why is this happening to me? 0.99

00:35:56.360 Cody Monson says, 1.00

00:35:57.440 is it more gay to be fooled by a tranny 1.00

00:35:59.100 or to consider every human under six foot a female 0.99

00:36:01.240 therefore an option?

00:36:03.240 Wait, 1.00

00:36:03.620 is it more gay to be fooled by a tranny 1.00

00:36:05.520 or to consider every... 0.99

00:36:05.940 I think by...

00:36:07.480 Logically speaking, 1.00

00:36:08.720 it's more gay to be fooled by a tranny 1.00

00:36:10.480 because technically that's saying 0.99

00:36:12.600 you actually got fooled,

00:36:14.160 whereas there is a theoretically a chance 1.00

00:36:16.320 if you're not fucking humans under six foot, 0.99

00:36:19.740 you could just luck up 1.00

00:36:20.620 and they're all just women. 1.00

00:36:21.740 Wait,

00:36:21.960 can someone explain to me

00:36:22.880 the second part of this question

00:36:24.020 because I don't even understand it.

00:36:25.060 Yeah,

00:36:25.500 it's just a weird... 1.00

00:36:26.400 Is it more gay to be fooled by a tranny 1.00

00:36:28.340 or considering every human under six foot a female 0.99

00:36:32.440 therefore an option?

00:36:33.860 You go through life,

00:36:34.680 everyone under six foot... 1.00

00:36:35.720 It's like gay to fuck the dudes in town. 1.00

00:36:36.280 You can't even tell what gender they are. 1.00

00:36:39.080 They're an option.

00:36:40.040 It's zeros and ones.

00:36:41.600 Yeah.

00:36:42.520 So mathematically speaking...

00:36:44.360 You're just going around...

00:36:45.180 Quit doing a podcast with three women right now. 0.64

00:36:48.680 It's kind of actually funny to me.

00:36:49.800 Just him.

00:36:50.260 It's just being like if he had anything,

00:36:51.860 he's just like three women doing podcasts with them, 1.00

00:36:54.280 might fuck one of them later. 1.00

00:36:55.240 Who knows? 1.00

00:36:56.000 Yeah,

00:36:56.020 me and Twitter are both like five five.

00:36:58.000 You're like five six.

00:36:59.400 Yeah.

00:36:59.780 Like,

00:37:00.640 that is my target demographic.

00:37:02.460 I'm not going to lie. 1.00

00:37:03.100 I'm going to fuck one of these ladies later. 1.00

00:37:05.920 It's like all of us. 1.00

00:37:07.180 Well,

00:37:07.380 you can be tall enough

00:37:08.160 if you're just walking around 1.00

00:37:08.960 with your dick out. 1.00

00:37:09.380 I think top's like five seven. 1.00

00:37:11.180 Yeah. 1.00

00:37:11.540 Your dick is just at the height 1.00

00:37:12.660 of all those shorties, 1.00

00:37:14.360 right?

00:37:14.600 So it's like you don't...

00:37:15.340 Shoddy.

00:37:15.660 You just don't...

00:37:16.460 Yeah,

00:37:16.680 shoddies.

00:37:17.360 You just don't even care,

00:37:18.280 man.

00:37:18.420 You know what I mean?

00:37:20.380 Dude, 0.98

00:37:20.680 can you talk like a black guy 1.00

00:37:21.740 for the rest of the show? 0.97

00:37:23.040 I just realized...

00:37:23.760 A Boston black guy.

00:37:24.900 I just realized

00:37:25.580 Clint's like our Gandalf.

00:37:27.360 So like,

00:37:27.740 we're like the little hobbits

00:37:28.700 following around

00:37:29.260 with Gandalf with Clint.

00:37:32.400 We need to get some art.

00:37:33.860 We need to get tower gang art like that. 0.94

00:37:35.840 Like us as hobbits

00:37:36.680 and you as Gandalf.

00:37:39.160 In literally physical form

00:37:40.900 and like social media following,

00:37:42.660 we're just following Gandalf.

00:37:46.980 Like top is Frodo.

00:37:48.540 But like the rest,

00:37:49.180 like I'm Mary.

00:37:50.120 Like definitely. 1.00

00:37:51.100 Like fucking her pippin'. 1.00

00:37:52.600 Although it looks like 1.00

00:37:54.680 I pulled off a fucking wild one 0.99

00:37:56.220 out of left field. 0.99

00:37:57.140 So we'll see how that turns out.

00:37:58.900 Yeah,

00:37:59.120 if he ever texts you back.

00:38:00.420 Yeah,

00:38:00.700 if he ever texts me back.

00:38:04.000 Jake Shields ghosted him.

00:38:05.520 And I told him,

00:38:06.120 I think it's just the CTE.

00:38:07.140 He forgot who you were.

00:38:08.460 I know.

00:38:08.800 It's always like every day.

00:38:09.240 Jake has invited me on three times

00:38:10.860 and then never followed up.

00:38:12.760 He goes like,

00:38:13.880 yo,

00:38:14.000 you want to do the show?

00:38:14.780 And I'm like,

00:38:15.260 yeah,

00:38:15.440 sure.

00:38:15.740 Let me know.

00:38:16.580 Yeah.

00:38:17.400 Every time.

00:38:17.800 Honestly,

00:38:20.180 I don't take it personally

00:38:21.080 because I do think

00:38:22.220 he's been punched a lot.

00:38:23.300 And I don't think it.

00:38:24.240 I know it.

00:38:24.680 I watched it.

00:38:25.860 Well,

00:38:26.220 if he remembers,

00:38:27.140 I'm supposed to go on

00:38:28.020 and talk about the DeDreau affair

00:38:29.340 and the finders and all that.

00:38:30.660 This is why I didn't like

00:38:32.000 celebrate with you

00:38:32.700 because I was like,

00:38:33.420 I don't think this is going to happen.

00:38:35.240 Whatever.

00:38:35.600 You just show up.

00:38:38.640 Dude,

00:38:38.820 I got 200 followers

00:38:39.960 just from the idea

00:38:40.900 of me going on the show.

00:38:42.240 I was like,

00:38:42.380 that's pretty dope. 0.99

00:38:43.580 You just show fucking up 0.99

00:38:45.580 and like you're like, 0.99

00:38:46.420 you said we do a show

00:38:47.360 and he would go,

00:38:48.900 oh yeah,

00:38:49.280 yeah.

00:38:49.540 I fly into Vegas.

00:38:50.840 You're like, 1.00

00:38:51.100 where the fuck are you? 1.00

00:38:52.760 I'm here. 1.00

00:38:54.820 Tyler's here to show us

00:38:55.840 BB Poopoo Man's 0.96

00:38:58.720 and Toad say shorties again.

00:39:01.180 Shotties. 1.00

00:39:02.320 Yeah, 0.91

00:39:02.680 hell yeah.

00:39:03.020 Drop it.

00:39:03.560 That's a drop.

00:39:05.700 Shotties. 1.00

00:39:06.620 I like them shotties. 1.00

00:39:07.740 It needs to be. 0.92

00:39:08.600 I think anytime we play something

00:39:10.220 with a woman in it, 0.96

00:39:11.280 just hearing Toad go shotties

00:39:12.880 right after that

00:39:13.720 would be pretty funny to me.

00:39:15.140 Hell yeah.

00:39:15.840 Russell Brand read my tweet on air

00:39:18.160 and I also got to tell Malcolm Nance

00:39:20.980 that he is a traitor to his country 1.00

00:39:23.100 and a pathological liar 1.00

00:39:24.240 and a propagandist 1.00

00:39:25.340 for the CIA. 0.97

00:39:26.920 He's the black guy 0.90

00:39:28.100 that is like a CNN commentator 0.87

00:39:30.180 that like pretended

00:39:31.260 as if he was in the trenches

00:39:32.180 in Ukraine leading a battalion.

00:39:34.140 You don't remember this guy?

00:39:35.340 Nope.

00:39:35.880 Not at all.

00:39:36.320 No.

00:39:36.680 All right.

00:39:37.300 Well,

00:39:37.660 he's notable to people like me.

00:39:39.840 The only black person I know

00:39:40.740 is that guy

00:39:41.280 that did the whole

00:39:42.140 five hour morning routine.

00:39:44.060 That's the only black person 1.00

00:39:44.680 I ever know.

00:39:44.980 Yo,

00:39:45.180 the best part though

00:39:45.940 at the end of it,

00:39:46.620 he says,

00:39:47.460 if you see me, 1.00

00:39:48.040 you cross the fucking street. 1.00

00:39:49.500 That's what he said. 1.00

00:39:50.680 I'm not your fucking monkey. 1.00

00:39:53.500 He said, 1.00

00:39:54.060 if you see me, 1.00

00:39:54.480 you cross the fucking street. 1.00

00:39:55.860 He was so pissed. 1.00

00:39:57.000 After you own that.

00:39:57.800 Who said that?

00:39:58.740 Wait,

00:39:58.920 he said that to you?

00:40:00.120 He said it to me 0.93

00:40:01.240 and this black dude.

00:40:02.220 We were both, 0.96

00:40:02.900 we were both hammering him

00:40:04.020 from like,

00:40:04.680 this was a Republican

00:40:05.560 America firster

00:40:06.460 and I'm the libertarian

00:40:07.200 that I eventually 0.99

00:40:07.660 so we're just fucking, 0.96

00:40:08.820 we're tagging him. 0.98

00:40:09.540 We got Malcolm Nance 0.99

00:40:12.280 and we're fucking, 1.00

00:40:13.500 we literally fucking, 1.00

00:40:15.040 we sucked all the air 1.00

00:40:15.800 out of his body 1.00

00:40:16.240 with our dicks. 1.00

00:40:17.120 Yeah. 0.99

00:40:18.280 Yeah.

00:40:18.700 And he goes,

00:40:20.100 if you see me, 1.00

00:40:20.760 you cross the fucking street. 1.00

00:40:22.420 He goes, 1.00

00:40:22.720 you better fucking couch that. 1.00

00:40:24.240 Don't even fucking bring that. 0.99

00:40:25.560 He just like, 1.00

00:40:26.120 he lost his shit. 1.00

00:40:27.100 It was awesome. 1.00

00:40:27.740 I know, 0.90

00:40:28.020 I know it's already gay. 1.00

00:40:29.060 It's kind of already gay 1.00

00:40:29.900 to tag team a bitch, 1.00

00:40:31.220 like to go Eiffel Tower 1.00

00:40:32.360 on a bitch. 1.00

00:40:32.740 It's kind of gay already. 1.00

00:40:34.420 Is it super gay 1.00

00:40:35.440 or super cool 0.82

00:40:36.460 if you can somehow,

00:40:38.200 if this is even physically possible, 0.98

00:40:39.980 if your dicks touch insider? 1.00

00:40:42.300 I think that's a dead dick. 1.00

00:40:43.420 From opposites. 1.00

00:40:44.200 If your dicks are that big, 0.99

00:40:46.180 there's nothing, 1.00

00:40:46.900 there's nothing you can do

00:40:47.680 that's not cool.

00:40:48.640 You know what I mean? 0.99

00:40:49.240 It's probably gay, 1.00

00:40:50.480 but it's cool. 0.98

00:40:51.360 Oh wow.

00:40:51.800 The two of you

00:40:52.380 and one of the other person.

00:40:53.400 Oh, not a no.

00:40:53.580 I never,

00:40:54.060 I never,

00:40:54.680 I never had one.

00:40:55.060 No man. 0.99

00:40:55.760 That's homosexual. 1.00

00:40:56.840 I never heard that. 0.99

00:40:57.800 You're naked next to another dude 1.00

00:40:59.140 watching his fucking face 1.00

00:41:00.360 enjoy all the way. 1.00

00:41:00.900 Can you pause it?

00:41:01.360 Yeah.

00:41:01.580 No.

00:41:02.240 The way they react to me

00:41:03.160 it seems like

00:41:03.620 they definitely have airtime.

00:41:05.140 No, we've totally never,

00:41:06.500 no, no, never, never, never, never,

00:41:08.420 never, never, never do that. 1.00

00:41:09.800 Homosexual shit. 1.00

00:41:10.280 These are actually guys 1.00

00:41:11.220 from ICP, right?

00:41:12.500 Yeah.

00:41:12.960 Well, no,

00:41:13.320 there's a bunch of other

00:41:14.500 50 year olds 1.00

00:41:15.100 with fucking ICP masks on. 1.00

00:41:17.140 Anyways, they, 1.00

00:41:17.980 I don't recognize,

00:41:18.960 I don't know who they are, man.

00:41:20.280 They're just going to be juggalos. 0.99

00:41:21.620 Well, anyways,

00:41:22.380 they, they,

00:41:23.060 they proceed to talk about how,

00:41:24.800 I mean, sure, 0.99

00:41:25.220 we pass a bitch around, 1.00

00:41:26.220 but we don't do it at the same time. 1.00

00:41:27.240 We're not fucking homos. 0.99

00:41:28.240 I swear to God, 1.00

00:41:29.220 keep playing it.

00:41:30.580 Listen,

00:41:31.140 if that girl 1.00

00:41:31.980 just willing to let you hit it,

00:41:33.880 but it's hotter for you

00:41:36.360 because he's in it,

00:41:38.020 what's going on?

00:41:39.920 Right.

00:41:40.640 Like I said,

00:41:41.500 gas.

00:41:42.540 You know what I'm saying? 0.99

00:41:44.420 Why the fuck is he here? 1.00

00:41:45.900 And you can hit it, 1.00

00:41:46.780 but you're like,

00:41:47.140 no, let's go after me,

00:41:48.960 but we can flip a coin.

00:41:50.400 If you're in her V

00:41:51.100 and your buddies in her A,

00:41:52.600 you guys actually feel each other.

00:41:54.280 You know what I'm saying?

00:41:55.620 Oh, that's,

00:41:56.260 yeah.

00:41:56.860 And you can nut at the same time. 0.51

00:41:58.140 You're kind of nutting.

00:41:59.240 Yeah, I regret doing it. 0.99

00:42:00.500 Go ahead.

00:42:00.800 I mean,

00:42:07.160 the ICP guys 1.00

00:42:08.020 are absolutely retarded. 1.00

00:42:09.860 He sounds retarded. 1.00

00:42:11.140 There's an entire breakdown. 1.00

00:42:12.720 You can,

00:42:13.420 80% of what he says is,

00:42:14.960 you know what I'm saying? 0.99

00:42:15.920 I shit you not. 0.99

00:42:16.720 It's terrible. 1.00

00:42:17.920 Yeah.

00:42:18.480 Violent J,

00:42:19.340 is that his name?

00:42:19.460 He goes,

00:42:19.760 wait,

00:42:20.300 so like, 1.00

00:42:20.940 yo dick's in my dick, 1.00

00:42:22.240 you know what I'm saying? 1.00

00:42:22.920 And then like, 1.00

00:42:23.620 his dick's in that dick, 1.00

00:42:25.180 you know what I'm saying? 1.00

00:42:26.040 And then like, 0.98

00:42:26.620 that's gay, 0.97

00:42:27.400 you know what I'm saying? 0.99

00:42:28.020 That's how he talks. 1.00

00:42:28.640 It sucks. 1.00

00:42:29.060 Is that Silent Bob or Violent J? 1.00

00:42:31.120 Which one is it?

00:42:32.380 Who cares?

00:42:33.380 It doesn't matter.

00:42:34.240 Silent Bob is different.

00:42:36.520 Oh,

00:42:36.720 it is?

00:42:37.180 Oh,

00:42:37.560 I thought that some of their names were.

00:42:38.920 It's from Clerks.

00:42:40.020 Yeah.

00:42:40.680 But I'm pretty sure ICP guy's Violent J.

00:42:43.440 I'm pretty sure.

00:42:44.080 Maybe I'm wrong about that.

00:42:44.680 It is Violent J.

00:42:45.640 Yeah,

00:42:45.840 it's Violent J.

00:42:46.220 I've never even listened.

00:42:47.600 I don't think I've ever even heard Insane Cloud Posse music. 1.00

00:42:49.820 Their music sucks. 0.99

00:42:50.800 Listen to Miracles and try to tell me that they're not retarded. 1.00

00:42:54.760 They have a rabid fan base,

00:42:56.300 though.

00:42:56.860 Yeah,

00:42:57.120 that's what it's like.

00:42:57.320 Honestly,

00:42:57.700 they're kind of like the Tower Gang of the rap world.

00:43:00.200 I was about to say,

00:43:01.060 I was like,

00:43:01.240 I feel like they're crazy rabid fans that love them for no reason.

00:43:08.660 Right. 1.00

00:43:09.300 But they suck. 1.00

00:43:10.320 They suck. 1.00

00:43:10.960 Yeah, 1.00

00:43:11.140 they suck. 1.00

00:43:11.640 They have an incredibly passionate audience. 1.00

00:43:13.700 Their fans are all over the globe,

00:43:17.200 and you can just go whoop whoop,

00:43:18.500 and then they'll just come,

00:43:20.520 and they'll let you stay with them and whatever.

00:43:22.680 It doesn't look like it would be fun to go there once. 0.99

00:43:26.300 You sleep with some gross ICP women. 1.00

00:43:29.420 That's basically it. 1.00

00:43:30.700 It's not a fucking coincidence that Not Ron went from ICP fanboy to Tower Gang fan. 0.98

00:43:35.520 It's just hell yeah. 0.98

00:43:36.180 And they also have Faygo Soda is a brand of soda that only Juggalos drink. 1.00

00:43:42.520 Yep.

00:43:43.020 It's crazy.

00:43:43.700 Their fans are wrapping up,

00:43:45.080 because I know your mom's house thing for a long time was,

00:43:47.820 there was a guy that got the Insane Clown Posse,

00:43:50.100 he got it tattooed on his face.

00:43:52.860 Their face tattooed in the ICP,

00:43:55.440 like the mask,

00:43:57.000 and then was getting it removed.

00:43:59.520 So he had to go through and get like,

00:44:02.100 all black tattoo on their face,

00:44:04.720 and he's like,

00:44:05.480 he's going through,

00:44:06.360 and it's so funny because the funniest look is not when it's completely black,

00:44:09.940 it's when it's kind of faded black,

00:44:11.560 and so it just looks like you have a really smudgy face of like, 0.89

00:44:14.160 that looks like a clown, 0.93

00:44:16.360 and he just has to go through life like that with a face tattoo. 0.98

00:44:19.100 Oh, God.

00:44:20.580 All right.

00:44:21.020 That was a fun story, Cole.

00:44:22.720 I'm going to say,

00:44:23.180 it's just like,

00:44:24.120 it has to do with Insane Clown Posse and your mom's house.

00:44:27.840 What content?

00:44:28.940 Should we check in on our homie Misfit Patriots 1.00

00:44:31.060 to maybe give him a little boost from his three people following?

00:44:33.340 No, not that.

00:44:34.340 What else we can do?

00:44:35.320 I don't want to get that.

00:44:36.140 Not him.

00:44:37.180 The Bucktooth Jesus. 1.00

00:44:38.800 Bucktooth bitch, yeah. 1.00

00:44:40.060 Bucktooth Jesus shouted us out. 1.00

00:44:42.820 Huh?

00:44:43.660 Share your screen.

00:44:44.380 Okay.

00:44:45.420 I just want to see if this is funny.

00:44:47.400 What is it?

00:44:48.080 I did not know this.

00:44:49.020 Fago makes La Croix?

00:44:51.880 No way.

00:44:52.940 That's their fancy beverage.

00:44:54.460 I have a bad girl when they walked in.

00:44:55.760 These guys come from the old school.

00:44:57.380 You like that because you're what?

00:44:58.980 You're old school.

00:45:00.040 Am I old school?

00:45:00.780 Well, you say you like,

00:45:01.720 I've read in your bio here that you love old school.

00:45:03.260 Yeah, I do.

00:45:04.060 I do, yeah.

00:45:04.740 Right here.

00:45:05.480 Yeah, I know. 0.97

00:45:06.120 When they walked in, I almost shit bricks. 0.97

00:45:07.960 I don't think we're that old school. 0.88

00:45:09.500 But I do know who you are,

00:45:10.660 and I feel like most people who are 23 might not, right?

00:45:13.800 I'm only 25, so, you know.

00:45:15.780 Perfect.

00:45:16.600 Great.

00:45:17.220 Just turn.

00:45:18.580 I couldn't tell under the, you know.

00:45:20.080 You never can.

00:45:21.040 Good, good, good, good.

00:45:22.020 You know they have a festival.

00:45:23.020 I heard.

00:45:23.520 Yeah, my ex-boyfriend was telling me about it.

00:45:25.260 I just heard they're, like, insane, right?

00:45:27.080 Yeah, yeah.

00:45:27.660 No pun intended.

00:45:28.560 There's a lot of love there.

00:45:29.480 Oh, come on. 0.87

00:45:30.160 Let me tell you something.

00:45:31.480 It's reputation for insanity succeeds it.

00:45:34.180 People are scared to go to it

00:45:35.580 because they're scared of, like, juggalos 0.99

00:45:37.340 and, oh, I'm going to get fucked up 0.99

00:45:39.300 and this and that. 0.99

00:45:40.320 The opposite.

00:45:41.260 You guys are so famous with the, you know,

00:45:43.280 with the makeup and stuff.

00:45:44.560 So, Kiss, as you know,

00:45:46.100 they're very famous with the makeup, too.

00:45:48.120 It's not funny. 0.99

00:45:49.200 They're also very gay as well 0.99

00:45:50.700 and untalented. 0.90

00:45:52.540 Zero influence from Kiss.

00:45:55.540 And I think Gene Simmons personally

00:45:57.260 is a dude.

00:45:58.580 He is. 1.00

00:45:59.240 Fuck him. 1.00

00:45:59.880 Okay. 1.00

00:46:00.300 Now I like ICP.

00:46:02.180 Hell yeah.

00:46:02.460 Let's bring out, Gene.

00:46:02.940 I like ICP now.

00:46:06.520 Bunch of Jesus.

00:46:07.120 It sure is brain death.

00:46:07.780 That's what that was.

00:46:09.960 We're Mormons now, guys.

00:46:11.320 This is a secret Mormon infiltrating podcast. 0.88

00:46:13.700 I can remember, if we could find the tweet,

00:46:15.280 somebody pulled it, someone found,

00:46:16.900 someone, was this the,

00:46:19.900 Aunt X, whoever posted it to us,

00:46:22.640 I want to shout them out

00:46:23.920 because what they did

00:46:25.280 was they posted a comment

00:46:29.180 and said,

00:46:29.580 Tower Gang thinks you're awesome or something.

00:46:31.380 What did they say?

00:46:32.000 Tower Gang?

00:46:33.300 It was a nice message.

00:46:34.580 It literally was a nice message.

00:46:35.580 It was like,

00:46:35.880 Tower Gang thinks you're really cool

00:46:37.240 or Tower Gang loves your content.

00:46:38.980 I think that's what they said.

00:46:39.880 Which we do.

00:46:40.780 Yeah.

00:46:41.120 And Bunch of Jesus here, 1.00

00:46:43.160 the fucking Satanist herself. 1.00

00:46:44.900 This isn't the same video, though. 1.00

00:46:46.480 This isn't my transmasculine people

00:46:48.580 or people who have facial hair

00:46:51.080 and shave their heads.

00:46:53.020 This journey's been an interesting one

00:46:54.640 and very freeing,

00:46:55.940 but at the same time,

00:46:57.080 they don't teach you how to shave your head.

00:46:59.820 So, you know,

00:47:00.460 you learn by trial and error.

00:47:02.740 So I got this neat little razor

00:47:04.340 that helps, like, shave your head.

00:47:07.240 Because the traditional razors

00:47:09.020 are kind of crappy

00:47:10.360 when it comes to that.

00:47:11.880 It has a little finger loop,

00:47:13.400 so it's easy

00:47:14.020 and you just go like this on your head.

00:47:15.840 Actually, it kind of makes sense.

00:47:16.920 On top of that,

00:47:18.000 I've been growing my facial hair out.

00:47:20.340 I don't know if you can tell,

00:47:22.240 but I've been growing my little beard out.

00:47:26.160 And, um...

00:47:27.400 I like this aftershave

00:47:29.040 and I picked alcohol-free

00:47:30.540 because I get really bad, um...

00:47:32.420 So do I!

00:47:33.140 Like, dry skin from it.

00:47:35.840 And then I got this nice little

00:47:37.080 beard balm that smells like oranges

00:47:38.860 and I highly recommend both of them.

00:47:41.400 This is going to be a little weird,

00:47:43.240 but to quote Seth Rollins,

00:47:44.860 beard care is essential

00:47:47.160 if you want it to look

00:47:48.860 and present how you want it to.

00:47:51.800 And I heard him talk about

00:47:53.200 what was in his bag

00:47:54.520 and I was like,

00:47:55.460 yeah, I really relate to that.

00:47:57.760 Maybe I should be taking care of that more.

00:48:00.480 And then a goal to, you know,

00:48:02.660 focus on myself more.

00:48:04.100 I've been doing things different

00:48:06.540 and doing things that I want to do.

00:48:09.120 And I really am excited about that journey.

00:48:12.460 And I just wanted to share.

00:48:14.080 Haters will hate.

00:48:15.620 I really don't care.

00:48:16.720 Why are we watching the beard care?

00:48:18.760 No, because I want to...

00:48:19.640 No, actually, no, this makes a lot of sense.

00:48:21.140 No, no, I like this

00:48:21.800 because, one, Clint,

00:48:23.520 do you not relate to that?

00:48:24.840 And Toad, 0.81

00:48:25.380 do you not relate to that

00:48:26.380 shaving your head?

00:48:27.680 Like, what she used to do with...

00:48:28.500 I shave my head... 1.00

00:48:29.100 I didn't need to be fucking... 1.00

00:48:30.040 I didn't need to be coached 1.00

00:48:30.960 in how to do it. 1.00

00:48:31.580 You just get a fucking razor 1.00

00:48:32.580 and you shave your head. 1.00

00:48:33.500 Yeah, I have a fucking... 1.00

00:48:34.540 I've shaved my head before 0.99

00:48:35.340 and a big whoop.

00:48:36.140 I have, like, an electric razor

00:48:37.300 that just does it.

00:48:38.520 I never even seen that thing

00:48:39.560 that she used.

00:48:40.060 It was like a little just...

00:48:41.940 No, I have a pit bull skull shaver

00:48:44.760 and I also have a manscaped 0.99

00:48:46.280 whatever the fuck their thing is. 1.00

00:48:47.880 Do you think these bald fucks 1.00

00:48:49.280 are just discovering 1.00

00:48:50.020 bald turks? 0.73

00:48:50.700 Whatever the hell it is.

00:48:52.060 What?

00:48:53.540 I don't know.

00:48:54.640 It just fits the contours

00:48:55.740 of your head.

00:48:56.080 It's easy.

00:48:56.480 To actually need

00:48:57.780 a unique razor

00:48:58.660 so that you can go like this

00:48:59.880 as opposed to going like this 0.99

00:49:01.380 is the fucking... 0.99

00:49:02.700 It's the bitchest thing ever, dude. 1.00

00:49:04.360 It really is. 1.00

00:49:05.080 What is a bitch? 1.00

00:49:05.840 It's for women 1.00

00:49:06.460 to shave their head bald.

00:49:07.340 But this is my point, though.

00:49:08.600 It's like...

00:49:09.240 Yeah, and I know

00:49:09.900 there's lots of guys 0.99

00:49:10.540 that fucking wear it, 0.99

00:49:12.880 but, like, you just... 1.00

00:49:13.720 Or use it.

00:49:14.240 But you don't need to.

00:49:14.960 You don't need to. 1.00

00:49:15.500 Just use a fucking... 1.00

00:49:16.820 Yeah, use a manual razor. 1.00

00:49:18.520 Without shaving cream.

00:49:20.180 Even have those clippers

00:49:21.120 that, like, kind of go to the skin

00:49:22.560 and you can do the...

00:49:23.560 Right, right.

00:49:24.240 So I use the electric one.

00:49:25.520 Yeah, that's the head shaver.

00:49:26.800 You don't want to pick it, you know?

00:49:27.480 Yeah, and then you...

00:49:28.100 Right.

00:49:28.360 You use, like, a manual razor.

00:49:29.340 No, you got to pick it, dude.

00:49:30.680 Once you're actually bald,

00:49:31.840 you got to pick it. 1.00

00:49:32.520 You can't fucking do that razor shit. 1.00

00:49:34.940 Right. 1.00

00:49:35.320 Well, you do both

00:49:36.140 is what I'm saying.

00:49:37.060 I think a little stubble

00:49:38.040 around the sides

00:49:38.880 is dignified, you know?

00:49:39.820 A nice little crown.

00:49:41.420 I mean... 0.99

00:49:43.860 No, you don't leave the fucking... 1.00

00:49:46.300 You don't leave the crown. 1.00

00:49:47.120 That's some 1960 shit. 0.99

00:49:48.380 No one does that anymore. 0.99

00:49:49.600 If you do that...

00:49:50.420 That exudes power.

00:49:50.940 That's a power move.

00:49:52.220 What do you mean?

00:49:53.160 Look, there's no one

00:49:53.880 that does it anymore,

00:49:54.660 so I guess it's kind of powerful,

00:49:55.920 but, like, I don't know.

00:49:57.120 Oh, like the horseshoe?

00:49:58.160 Like George DeSantis?

00:49:58.660 Dude, do you know

00:49:59.420 how much power you'd exude

00:50:00.800 if you'd get rid of that beanie 0.99

00:50:01.960 and just rock, like, 1.00

00:50:02.960 a fucking, like... 0.99

00:50:04.260 I don't have that. 1.00

00:50:05.640 I still have fucking hair 0.99

00:50:06.600 that comes, like, up to here. 0.99

00:50:08.580 Oh, so you'd have

00:50:09.560 the thin little weird patch?

00:50:11.840 A little...

00:50:12.140 Yeah, it depends on how long

00:50:13.820 I let it grow.

00:50:13.980 Except for right here in the front.

00:50:15.280 And then, uh...

00:50:15.860 Oh.

00:50:16.600 Uh, yeah.

00:50:17.560 Uh, okay.

00:50:18.520 Yeah.

00:50:18.840 I would still have

00:50:19.420 a decent head of hair,

00:50:20.260 so it would just look... 0.71

00:50:21.140 It'd just look shitty. 0.53

00:50:22.760 Yeah, exactly.

00:50:23.820 So you'd have to get rid

00:50:24.360 of all of it.

00:50:25.320 Yeah.

00:50:26.680 But, Clint,

00:50:27.220 how do you shave around 0.95

00:50:28.060 your yarmulke?

00:50:28.960 I think you should

00:50:29.600 bick...

00:50:30.060 You should bick 0.86

00:50:30.700 right around here

00:50:31.680 so that when you then have...

00:50:32.780 That's how you spell yarmulke.

00:50:34.440 It is.

00:50:35.160 Is that how you spell...

00:50:35.800 That's how you spell yarmulke?

00:50:37.380 Yeah, it is how you spell...

00:50:38.120 It makes no sense.

00:50:39.100 Yarmulke. 0.85

00:50:39.220 Dude, I am so not Jewish, 0.99

00:50:40.560 I fucking put real head in there 0.99

00:50:41.880 and I was like... 0.99

00:50:43.040 My yarmulke?

00:50:43.840 Yarmulke. 0.85

00:50:44.420 You're my yarmulke.

00:50:45.260 I can't believe

00:50:46.460 that's how you spell yarmulke.

00:50:47.600 Yak milk. 0.98

00:50:48.220 Makes no fucking sense, right? 1.00

00:50:49.900 Fucking Jewish cricks. 1.00

00:50:51.580 I have been spelling yarmulke wrong 1.00

00:50:54.080 my entire life.

00:50:55.140 Have you been doing like

00:50:56.240 Y-A-M-U-K-A 1.00

00:50:57.540 or some shit like that? 0.99

00:50:58.540 Y-A-M-U-K-A. 1.00

00:51:00.140 Fuck yeah. 1.00

00:51:00.980 Yarmulke. 1.00

00:51:01.860 It's Japanese. 1.00

00:51:02.800 So they can spot stupid goys. 1.00

00:51:04.780 That's how they do it. 1.00

00:51:05.820 I had no idea.

00:51:07.040 Yarmulke. 0.85

00:51:07.620 That's crazy.

00:51:08.740 Yarmulke. 0.85

00:51:09.680 I've read that on X

00:51:10.880 and I was like...

00:51:11.820 I was like,

00:51:12.100 what's that?

00:51:13.320 It's like Colonel,

00:51:15.280 C-O-L-O-N-E-L. 1.00

00:51:16.840 You're like, 1.00

00:51:17.080 what the fuck? 1.00

00:51:17.600 That makes no goddamn sense. 1.00

00:51:19.600 I am super not Jewish. 0.98

00:51:22.300 I had no idea.

00:51:24.420 Yeah.

00:51:24.940 That's great.

00:51:26.640 But by the way,

00:51:27.520 going back to why

00:51:28.280 we're talking about

00:51:28.680 Book 2 Jesus in the first place,

00:51:30.500 because,

00:51:31.320 so right after our show,

00:51:32.880 somebody,

00:51:33.240 one of our fans,

00:51:34.000 one of y'all,

00:51:34.840 were awesome

00:51:35.440 and commented on

00:51:36.500 one of her new videos.

00:51:38.080 She decided

00:51:38.960 that it needed

00:51:39.680 a whole other video

00:51:40.680 where she took it

00:51:41.480 as disrespect,

00:51:43.400 actually.

00:51:43.880 So like someone said,

00:51:44.540 like Tower Gang

00:51:44.980 loves your content.

00:51:45.960 And they go,

00:51:47.540 and she was like,

00:51:48.100 listen,

00:51:48.640 I don't,

00:51:49.040 basically she was like, 1.00

00:51:49.780 I don't fuck with these 1.00

00:51:50.720 Mormon fucks. 1.00

00:51:52.220 Do we have it? 1.00

00:51:53.100 Because,

00:51:53.540 I'm giving you

00:51:55.360 the number right now,

00:51:56.380 man.

00:51:57.920 It was basically, 1.00

00:51:58.900 called us fucking Mormons. 1.00

00:52:00.960 Right. 1.00

00:52:01.200 Which I've never been

00:52:02.140 called a Mormon before.

00:52:04.020 Kind of weird for me.

00:52:05.240 And why?

00:52:06.160 Why did it think

00:52:07.020 we were Mormon?

00:52:08.280 Apparently,

00:52:09.340 something towers.

00:52:10.840 Something new with towers.

00:52:11.360 Yeah,

00:52:11.500 so I looked it up.

00:52:13.760 Mormons,

00:52:14.520 yeah,

00:52:14.720 here we go.

00:52:16.180 I don't get it,

00:52:17.100 but yeah.

00:52:20.200 And this is why

00:52:21.220 I love the internet

00:52:22.160 sometimes.

00:52:23.940 Apparently,

00:52:24.580 a little podcast

00:52:25.480 called Tower Gang

00:52:27.360 say they really

00:52:28.780 like my content.

00:52:30.000 And we all know

00:52:30.540 that's sarcasm,

00:52:31.440 by the way.

00:52:32.480 It's not even sarcasm.

00:52:33.560 The funny thing,

00:52:34.120 it's not even sarcasm.

00:52:34.860 One of my like me

00:52:37.160 because they're Mormon

00:52:37.900 and I,

00:52:38.740 one of my most popular

00:52:39.940 episodes,

00:52:40.960 talk to an ex-Mormon

00:52:42.680 person about 1.00

00:52:43.360 the bullshit they do. 1.00

00:52:45.340 Any religious person 1.00

00:52:46.680 does not scare me.

00:52:47.860 Because at the end of the day,

00:52:48.980 all religious people

00:52:49.920 are towers,

00:52:50.660 including Tower Gang.

00:52:55.160 We're Mormons now, man.

00:52:56.600 What's funny is like,

00:52:57.820 out of all the things,

00:52:58.880 like,

00:52:59.060 we do like your content.

00:53:00.600 Not for the reason

00:53:01.280 that you want people

00:53:02.600 to like your content,

00:53:03.580 but we do like

00:53:04.740 the content.

00:53:05.600 That's not being sarcastic.

00:53:06.280 Do you know how,

00:53:06.820 do you know how psychotically 1.00

00:53:08.000 narcissistic this bitch is? 1.00

00:53:09.540 That she goes, 1.00

00:53:10.200 she goes,

00:53:10.800 I know that they're 0.99

00:53:11.660 fucking being sarcastic 0.98

00:53:12.660 because my video 0.99

00:53:14.500 where I interview

00:53:15.420 a Mormon person

00:53:16.280 and make fun of the faith, 1.00

00:53:17.880 bitch, 1.00

00:53:18.100 we don't know about that. 1.00

00:53:19.240 We've watched three.

00:53:19.980 We didn't even watch that video.

00:53:21.080 We literally just watched

00:53:22.000 four of your videos 1.00

00:53:22.860 because you're fucking 1.00

00:53:23.540 bucktoothed in a trainee 1.00

00:53:24.740 and it's funny.

00:53:25.860 I don't know anything about this.

00:53:27.180 I guess towers have,

00:53:28.640 okay, go ahead, Cole.

00:53:29.380 You're going to probably see it.

00:53:29.860 Towers,

00:53:30.460 so I looked it up

00:53:30.980 and I was like,

00:53:31.920 I was like,

00:53:32.240 there has to be something here.

00:53:33.380 And literally,

00:53:34.720 the tower,

00:53:36.200 towers apparently

00:53:37.300 are very like,

00:53:38.540 like,

00:53:41.120 more religious things.

00:53:42.460 Like,

00:53:42.600 like,

00:53:43.360 what,

00:53:43.860 Mormon things.

00:53:44.560 Like, yeah,

00:53:44.820 they're like,

00:53:45.240 every one of their,

00:53:46.340 like,

00:53:46.780 their,

00:53:47.080 their churches

00:53:47.700 has a large tower

00:53:48.940 and I guess she saw Tower Gang

00:53:50.580 and Louie was like,

00:53:51.580 Mormons,

00:53:52.200 towers, 1.00

00:53:53.520 fuck them. 1.00

00:53:53.800 I had that video 1.00

00:53:55.300 with 300 views

00:53:56.400 where I interviewed a Mormon

00:53:57.520 three years ago.

00:53:58.620 I'm sure that's what this is about.

00:54:00.360 No,

00:54:00.640 we're like,

00:54:01.220 neighbors,

00:54:02.080 9-11,

00:54:02.900 towers.

00:54:04.000 That's true.

00:54:04.320 The watchtower is,

00:54:05.400 is Jehovah Witness,

00:54:06.860 so it's not even Mormon.

00:54:07.760 But I know,

00:54:08.580 I did look it up.

00:54:09.320 I was like,

00:54:10.060 are towers significant to Mormons?

00:54:12.580 And it was like,

00:54:13.440 every one of their churches

00:54:14.880 has to have a tower

00:54:15.860 and like,

00:54:16.380 the tower is like where, 0.97

00:54:18.340 it's like some weird shit. 0.92

00:54:21.020 I remember there was, 0.98

00:54:22.440 temples is actually,

00:54:23.340 churches,

00:54:24.160 temples,

00:54:24.680 they're Mormon temples.

00:54:25.680 The Mormon church in San Diego,

00:54:27.800 when it was built,

00:54:28.620 it was like this big deal

00:54:30.140 because it was really spectacular.

00:54:31.400 I had no idea at the time 0.98

00:54:33.040 how fucking nonsensical 0.99

00:54:34.120 their religion is, 0.99

00:54:34.800 but they're all nice.

00:54:35.560 I don't care.

00:54:36.600 They're nice,

00:54:37.140 but I'm kind of with her though,

00:54:38.420 like, 1.00

00:54:38.840 fuck Mormons though. 1.00

00:54:39.580 They're super fucking weird. 1.00

00:54:40.960 I know they're doing, 1.00

00:54:41.460 they're doing some weird shit. 0.99

00:54:42.760 I don't agree with that. 0.99

00:54:44.140 I think that they're doing it better.

00:54:45.160 I think they're doing it better

00:54:46.300 than most people.

00:54:47.520 No,

00:54:47.720 he's right.

00:54:48.320 He's right.

00:54:48.740 They're riddos.

00:54:49.620 The Mormon church is doing, 1.00

00:54:51.900 they were basically like mobbed up

00:54:53.180 back in the day.

00:54:54.640 Like, 0.99

00:54:54.780 Mitt Romney was fucking, 1.00

00:54:55.920 like his dad was literally like 1.00

00:54:57.140 involved in like a violent fucking skit, 1.00

00:54:59.220 like part of fucking Mormonism. 1.00

00:55:01.800 Legit is wild shit, 1.00

00:55:03.300 dude. 1.00

00:55:03.620 Fucking, 1.00

00:55:03.940 they have a wild history. 1.00

00:55:04.940 Yeah.

00:55:05.660 Oh yeah,

00:55:06.020 her polygamous, 1.00

00:55:06.620 we all fuck each other. 1.00

00:55:07.820 Adam Smith and Cole. 1.00

00:55:09.740 She must have listened to the threesome episode. 0.77

00:55:11.640 That's why she thinks we're Mormons. 0.64

00:55:12.860 bro.

00:55:14.440 There's a,

00:55:15.040 there's a show on Netflix called,

00:55:16.580 uh,

00:55:17.240 American primeval.

00:55:18.400 And it's got,

00:55:19.400 it's got the Mormons.

00:55:21.160 Um,

00:55:21.560 what's his name?

00:55:22.180 What's the dude who like took them to Utah?

00:55:24.460 It's the homeboy's name.

00:55:25.320 Oh,

00:55:25.440 Brigham Young. 1.00

00:55:26.240 And he is a fucking murderous psychopath. 1.00

00:55:28.680 And all of the Mormons are, 1.00

00:55:30.220 I made me respect him a lot more.

00:55:31.660 Cause I've always thought of him.

00:55:32.580 He's like really kind polygamist,

00:55:34.040 but now I'm like,

00:55:34.640 no, 1.00

00:55:34.840 you guys are so Brigham Young did some gangster shit. 1.00

00:55:37.480 Oh, 1.00

00:55:37.860 they do. 1.00

00:55:38.360 They kill fucking dozens of people. 1.00

00:55:40.480 And then he started like a really religious school. 1.00

00:55:45.980 They kill dozens of people because they are fucking starting Brigham Young University. 1.00

00:55:49.880 Like they're returning Utah into Zion and they're murdering everybody that fucks with them. 1.00

00:55:55.400 They're Zionists, 1.00

00:55:56.500 which is good.

00:55:57.700 They're Zionists, 1.00

00:55:58.540 but they're not like Israel's like,

00:56:00.980 not Jewish Zionists.

00:56:02.040 They're like,

00:56:02.480 we're,

00:56:02.700 we're the,

00:56:03.260 we're Zion.

00:56:03.480 That's what Toad says.

00:56:07.580 That's my,

00:56:09.660 that's my catchphrase.

00:56:10.720 If you,

00:56:11.020 if you accuse him of it,

00:56:12.480 he'll do it.

00:56:13.000 Be careful.

00:56:14.640 Cry me a river about that.

00:56:17.480 I would like to find her talking about the Mormons,

00:56:21.600 unless it's like a long form podcast,

00:56:23.100 at which point I'm like, 0.99

00:56:24.180 I'm fucking out. 0.99

00:56:24.840 Yeah, 1.00

00:56:25.060 I'm out.

00:56:25.540 I should listen to her talk seriously for any length. 0.98

00:56:27.680 Top was obsessed with this bucktooth homo. 1.00

00:56:30.420 I like the content too.

00:56:32.480 I think it's really funny.

00:56:33.580 I think he was getting,

00:56:34.760 he was,

00:56:35.140 he was busting his load early.

00:56:36.820 We need to,

00:56:37.400 we need to drip it.

00:56:38.320 But,

00:56:38.640 but, 0.99

00:56:38.760 but Top was like fucking watching hours of it by himself. 0.98

00:56:42.120 Yeah. 0.99

00:56:42.560 You can't bust your load.

00:56:43.660 He got lost in the sauce.

00:56:44.880 That's why he's not here today.

00:56:45.600 What is up with Top? 0.99

00:56:46.380 He fucking, 1.00

00:56:47.040 he loves Toad's content and he loves bucktooth Jesus's content. 1.00

00:56:50.740 I think,

00:56:51.380 it makes him feel better.

00:56:53.600 I think he's a,

00:56:54.680 I think he's a,

00:56:55.540 and I,

00:56:56.880 I kind of like this stuff too.

00:56:58.280 He,

00:56:58.700 he likes cringe.

00:56:59.960 Next time you talk about it like that, 1.00

00:57:01.000 I'm going to fucking cut you. 0.99

00:57:03.260 He's doing content overload. 1.00

00:57:04.820 So now he's like,

00:57:05.840 he's like now having to find other weird niche content.

00:57:08.320 Yeah.

00:57:08.440 He's like,

00:57:08.720 I've seen everything. 1.00

00:57:09.600 Show me fucking freak shows. 1.00

00:57:11.280 Yeah. 1.00

00:57:11.640 Right. 1.00

00:57:12.200 I'm going to fuck my wife while Toad talks in the background. 1.00

00:57:14.940 No, 1.00

00:57:15.160 it's like when you can't bust into like normal porn anymore.

00:57:17.580 So you have to find like the worst, 1.00

00:57:19.400 like most disgusting shit you possibly can. 1.00

00:57:21.800 You know what I mean? 1.00

00:57:22.240 Does it feel weird,

00:57:23.400 Toad, 0.93

00:57:23.660 knowing that you're the worst, 1.00

00:57:25.220 most disgusting shit Top can find? 1.00

00:57:28.040 Hmm. 1.00

00:57:29.260 I don't like it.

00:57:30.100 Yeah.

00:57:30.500 I don't like it either for you.

00:57:31.880 I don't like it. 0.99

00:57:33.880 That's why he fucks his wife to it. 1.00

00:57:35.560 Did you grade her? 0.99

00:57:37.240 My,

00:57:37.640 my podcast is like,

00:57:39.140 uh,

00:57:39.540 it's like the snuff film of podcasts.

00:57:42.020 That's actually kind of true.

00:57:43.580 Yeah.

00:57:44.700 All right.

00:57:45.200 With that Lainey edit,

00:57:46.040 let's do it.

00:57:47.520 Oh boy,

00:57:48.100 this is going to be,

00:57:49.300 are we cutting?

00:57:50.540 How are we doing this?

00:57:51.340 Cause we don't have top. 0.97

00:57:52.100 I don't even know how we fucking do that. 0.96

00:57:53.560 I mean, 0.98

00:57:53.960 a Lainey Hobber Mock production.

00:57:56.980 Let's check it out.

00:57:59.580 An MIT student in a back Bay alley is a register.

00:58:04.100 Oh,

00:58:04.460 who law enforcement knew was at the risk of re-offending.

00:58:09.500 I totally forgot that we also.

00:58:13.520 Attacking an MIT student in a back Bay alley is a registered sex offender who law enforcement knew was at the risk of re-offending.

00:58:21.440 Breaking tonight.

00:58:22.120 WBZ is learning more about the suspect now under arrest.

00:58:25.980 For sexual assault.

00:58:27.440 This is the man.

00:58:28.580 Police say sexually assaulted a local college student in a back alley over the weekend. 1.00

00:58:32.880 Holy fucking shit. 1.00

00:58:34.340 Somebody that lives alone right there. 1.00

00:58:35.840 That's not me.

00:58:36.700 A little disheartening,

00:58:37.920 but.

00:58:38.100 That suspect will be arraigned in Boston tomorrow.

00:58:41.040 Live in back Bay,

00:58:41.900 Christina Rex,

00:58:42.600 WBZ News.

00:58:43.700 Christina,

00:58:44.040 thank you. 0.89

00:58:44.360 She finds a gay dating profile.

00:58:48.000 Yeah.

00:58:48.560 And it's a picture of him.

00:58:50.200 The handle,

00:58:51.240 the handle for his dating profile.

00:58:52.820 By the way,

00:58:53.240 it's not,

00:58:53.500 it's not Grindr.

00:58:54.120 It's Growler.

00:58:54.940 Cause it's,

00:58:55.420 it's specifically for bears.

00:58:56.820 Bears. 1.00

00:58:57.640 And his fucking handle is fist me. 1.00

00:59:01.560 It's wild. 1.00

00:59:02.940 What a wild way to be.

00:59:04.060 I got purple laces. 0.96

00:59:05.720 Cause I'm gay. 1.00

00:59:16.460 Fuck yeah. 1.00

00:59:19.560 Is it Gimbley? 1.00

00:59:21.760 Sort of.

00:59:22.700 It's the same similar style.

00:59:25.080 It's like that kind of era.

00:59:27.860 In his defense, 1.00

00:59:29.040 he does look like he can take a fucking dick. 1.00

00:59:35.720 I hate this guy so much. 1.00

00:59:41.920 This is fun. 0.54

01:00:00.460 Yeah,

01:00:01.080 this whole, 1.00

01:00:01.480 this whole tower gang shit, 1.00

01:00:02.880 man. 1.00

01:00:03.220 Fucking, 1.00

01:00:03.780 I think that they're trying to clout, 1.00

01:00:05.440 chase off of me.

01:00:06.300 Actually,

01:00:06.960 despite the fact that he was universally pillory in a way that I have rarely seen any human being experience. 1.00

01:00:13.540 He continues.

01:00:14.640 He continues to just persist in a way as if none of this has transpired, 0.99

01:00:19.160 which tells me this motherfucker is boosted by some other agency. 0.99

01:00:24.120 I don't understand. 1.00

01:00:30.640 Crabble. 0.99

01:00:31.480 Dick. 0.99

01:00:32.400 Zero. 0.99

01:00:32.900 Oh,

01:00:33.040 let's go to David fight.

01:00:34.040 You're right.

01:00:34.440 You know what?

01:00:34.960 You're right.

01:00:35.440 Send him over there.

01:00:37.380 Just a nice little refresher.

01:00:39.080 Just to remind him.

01:00:40.040 Because he loves it.

01:00:40.840 I think he likes it.

01:00:43.020 Hello,

01:00:43.620 everyone.

01:00:45.820 And welcome back to the Pipe for Liberty.

01:00:47.920 I am your host,

01:00:48.820 David fight here to get you fired up about the men and women out here making the world a freer place.

01:00:58.020 Getting me in the train.

01:00:59.300 This is one of my favorite stuff.

01:01:02.440 Oh my God.

01:01:04.680 What can I do to become the Jews favorite? 0.69

01:01:07.440 Should fall on your knees and be grateful for that when it happens.

01:01:13.020 You know,

01:01:13.360 it's a gift. 0.98

01:01:14.080 I want to rank our top conservative influencers that turned out to be gay. 1.00

01:01:30.300 fucking straight up in his face. 1.00

01:01:31.840 Killing a bus to check the name up out my fucking blacklist. 1.00

01:01:34.900 They're caught up in my mind. 1.00

01:01:36.200 What the?

01:01:36.700 My wrist.

01:01:37.860 Lay beneath the dirt.

01:01:38.880 I reappear up in the dark at night.

01:01:40.880 Stand inside the pentagram.

01:01:42.220 I read the scriptures and recite.

01:01:43.880 God can't save me. 1.00

01:01:45.220 I came to fucking die. 1.00

01:01:46.520 Say. 1.00

01:01:46.580 What was on the tip of my dick was actually like, 1.00

01:01:53.500 it was some new skin that was forming. 1.00

01:01:59.340 I hate watching myself.

01:02:01.120 I hate listening to myself.

01:02:02.420 Like,

01:02:02.600 that can't be me.

01:02:03.680 I mean,

01:02:04.140 being,

01:02:04.520 looking at tranny version of you, 0.99

01:02:05.960 does it make you feel better or worse?

01:02:07.360 I like bread.

01:02:19.660 Spectacular. 1.00

01:02:20.680 Holy fuck. 1.00

01:02:21.720 I have never, 0.99

01:02:22.360 that, 0.97

01:02:23.200 I saw someone get fucking, 0.99

01:02:25.500 chopped in half. 1.00

01:02:26.700 Chopped in half.

01:02:27.180 Dude,

01:02:27.460 it just dawned on me,

01:02:28.760 if whenever we do Rape-a-Palooza, 1.00

01:02:30.800 whenever we inevitably one of these days do,

01:02:33.280 the regular event of Rape-a-Palooza, 0.99

01:02:35.200 the like,

01:02:35.520 the in-between events music is just going to be literally like all the screens playing Lainey edits,

01:02:41.440 and it's going to be like,

01:02:42.180 it's a, 0.99

01:02:42.460 it's a fucking playlist of that, 0.98

01:02:44.620 of the different Lainey edits, 0.99

01:02:45.620 and that's like the lobby, 0.99

01:02:46.680 like the waiting music between events and shit. 0.95

01:02:48.420 I like how he included the, 0.99

01:02:49.520 that'll be so fucking thick, 1.00

01:02:50.820 because that shit, 1.00

01:02:51.380 they're sick, 1.00

01:02:51.880 that shit'll bump, 1.00

01:02:52.700 and it'll be fucking like great for set the tone, 1.00

01:02:54.540 you know? 0.99

01:02:54.880 The woman falling,

01:02:55.540 chasing the MAGA,

01:02:56.380 dude,

01:02:56.580 I like how he included that.

01:02:58.100 That was,

01:02:59.120 dude,

01:02:59.300 every time we have a Lainey edit,

01:03:01.020 it, 0.99

01:03:01.200 it feels like I just fucked. 0.99

01:03:03.900 I, 0.99

01:03:04.020 I mean,

01:03:04.420 at least I would assume.

01:03:05.940 Yeah,

01:03:06.260 you don't know. 0.98

01:03:06.640 It's what it fucking feels like. 0.99

01:03:09.280 I need to check my watch, 0.98

01:03:10.800 because I want to see like my heart rate,

01:03:13.360 just jump,

01:03:14.340 like whenever Lainey edit comes on.

01:03:16.120 I'm looking at my,

01:03:17.020 yeah,

01:03:17.500 my like watch right here,

01:03:19.220 it's like,

01:03:20.020 Lainey edits on,

01:03:20.900 it spikes up to like 110.

01:03:23.040 Go ahead.

01:03:23.520 I never seen ragdoll physics in real life 1.00

01:03:27.420 until like literally that person

01:03:29.080 come up with a train

01:03:29.960 and then gets cut in half by it.

01:03:31.700 Like,

01:03:31.880 by the way,

01:03:32.360 it makes me think those,

01:03:33.360 like those billboards, 0.99

01:03:35.000 fucking dangerous, 1.00

01:03:35.880 man. 1.00

01:03:36.320 Like,

01:03:36.680 you know,

01:03:36.860 I still can't believe,

01:03:39.180 I mean,

01:03:39.360 I can't believe that that Indian dude 1.00

01:03:40.560 crawled underneath the train

01:03:41.700 to like do it like that,

01:03:43.040 because that was wild.

01:03:43.820 But then what I really can't believe

01:03:45.440 is that edit was so dope 0.51

01:03:46.700 that we forgot about the first 30 seconds,

01:03:48.860 which is one of the funniest things

01:03:49.920 I've ever seen,

01:03:50.900 which is a full news broadcast

01:03:52.600 that looks extraordinarily compelling,

01:03:54.780 but in fact,

01:03:55.260 Hoda's a predator.

01:03:56.040 From Boston too,

01:03:57.160 by the way,

01:03:57.580 from Boston.

01:03:58.440 Amazing.

01:03:59.120 I don't want to remember that at all.

01:04:00.880 No,

01:04:01.300 I understand why you wouldn't.

01:04:02.640 I really hope that video and audio

01:04:04.840 doesn't get out,

01:04:05.760 leaked out,

01:04:06.240 like be on that form,

01:04:07.240 you know?

01:04:07.680 Climb your river about that.

01:04:09.900 Especially not with the other,

01:04:11.240 you know,

01:04:11.560 two and a half minutes,

01:04:12.220 you want to just have that 30 seconds

01:04:13.620 that's truncated

01:04:14.240 and just put that out publicly

01:04:16.040 and have it broadcast on,

01:04:17.660 I don't know,

01:04:18.280 some sort of like catch a predator

01:04:19.460 type of Twitter feed.

01:04:24.700 Do you think Clint's pro

01:04:25.960 could stitch the half man

01:04:27.080 back together?

01:04:28.140 No. 1.00

01:04:28.920 I think that dude's fucked for sure. 1.00

01:04:30.580 No, 1.00

01:04:31.020 he's,

01:04:31.680 no,

01:04:32.080 he just, 1.00

01:04:32.460 your brother sucks at doing his job. 0.99

01:04:34.100 I don't know who runs 1.00

01:04:34.720 our Tower Gang chat account,

01:04:36.320 but they said,

01:04:36.900 Google Drive had a point.

01:04:39.080 Yeah,

01:04:39.320 they're right.

01:04:39.900 Like,

01:04:40.200 I don't think we should have been able

01:04:41.100 to play that legally.

01:04:41.840 Don't push it.

01:04:42.180 With that,

01:04:42.680 we should probably ditch the pores 1.00

01:04:44.260 and immediately erase this

01:04:45.760 off of YouTube.

01:04:47.780 I gotta get rid of that one,

01:04:49.000 dude.

01:04:49.460 Oh my God. 1.00

01:04:50.800 Holy shit. 1.00

01:04:51.840 Shit. 1.00

01:04:52.340 Which, 1.00

01:04:52.800 I don't even know,

01:04:53.380 do you know how to do the pores

01:04:54.700 or is that something only Top

01:04:55.820 knew how to do?

01:04:56.440 I don't really know.

01:04:57.340 So,

01:04:57.640 I don't know.

01:04:58.580 Tyler might know.

01:04:58.820 Either way,

01:04:59.680 we're rolling,

01:05:00.180 I guess.

01:05:00.320 If you don't want to get ditched,

01:05:01.460 join the Patreon.

01:05:02.460 We're going to go live.

01:05:04.620 We don't know how to share

01:05:06.040 the QR code either,

01:05:06.980 so you're going to have to figure it out.

01:05:08.520 Yeah.

01:05:09.560 Stop being poor

01:05:10.700 and know where to be.

01:05:12.800 Yeah.

01:05:12.900 We don't know where to be.

01:05:14.020 Yeah.

01:05:14.480 I think it's patreon.com

01:05:15.500 slash tower gang,

01:05:16.460 I think.

01:05:17.100 Sounds right.

01:05:17.760 Oh,

01:05:17.780 look at that.

01:05:18.680 There you are.

01:05:20.280 Go to that QR.

01:05:22.080 Be quick about it. 0.99

01:05:22.960 Scan that sucker. 1.00

01:05:24.840 And go there. 1.00

01:05:25.980 Join the tower club,

01:05:27.160 baby.

01:05:27.540 Give us money. 1.00

01:05:28.400 God damn, dude. 1.00

01:05:29.200 That one didn't sit right with me. 1.00

01:05:31.700 Yeah, right? 0.99

01:05:32.260 A little fucked up. 0.99

01:05:32.920 I liked it. 0.99

01:05:33.620 Was he on a motorcycle?

01:05:35.340 Why did he crash so hard?

01:05:36.940 I wonder if he got flew out.

01:05:38.820 Moped.

01:05:39.140 Moped, I think.

01:05:39.820 And for some reason.

01:05:40.520 Moped.

01:05:41.420 Like,

01:05:41.880 oh, wait.

01:05:42.700 Dude,

01:05:43.060 you got to be moving

01:05:43.900 to get cut in half.

01:05:44.960 Yeah,

01:05:45.260 no,

01:05:45.480 that's what I'm saying.

01:05:46.000 Yeah.

01:05:46.540 Honestly,

01:05:47.060 I don't know if it's even real.

01:05:48.760 It looks like way too much.

01:05:49.760 Oh, bro,

01:05:50.100 that's real.

01:05:50.680 I think it was real.

01:05:52.000 Yeah,

01:05:52.260 let's do it in slow motion.

01:05:53.620 For the sake of the YouTube sensors,

01:05:56.040 it was fake.

01:05:56.960 I think that entire thing was fake.

01:05:58.100 It probably was fake.

01:05:59.300 Definitely fake.

01:05:59.820 Especially the suicide.

01:06:00.960 That was definitely fake. 1.00

01:06:02.580 Holy shit. 1.00

01:06:03.980 Oh, 1.00

01:06:04.140 is there another one?

01:06:05.460 Is this 100 again?

01:06:07.420 Yeah.

01:06:08.560 Was it the second one

01:06:09.860 or was it the same 100?

01:06:11.140 Because it was...

01:06:11.640 No,

01:06:11.900 the second one.

01:06:12.600 Oh,

01:06:12.660 Jesus Christ,

01:06:14.140 dude.

01:06:14.380 What is wrong with you?

01:06:15.460 I appreciate you,

01:06:16.600 man.

01:06:16.660 Love you.

01:06:16.920 I appreciate you.

01:06:17.540 All right,

01:06:17.880 geez.

01:06:18.940 Are we going to just the Patreon now

01:06:20.540 or are we staying?

01:06:20.960 If you know how to do it,

01:06:21.980 dude,

01:06:22.080 let's do it.

01:06:22.780 If you know how to do it.

01:06:24.340 I actually don't know.

01:06:25.820 I should probably learn.

01:06:26.840 Thank you guys for coming into

01:06:27.980 another. 1.00

01:06:28.280 Piece of shit. 1.00

01:06:28.820 Tower Gang. 1.00

01:06:29.400 Top will be back next week,

01:06:31.080 theoretically,

01:06:31.940 unless it's...

01:06:32.440 Yeah.

01:06:33.320 Unless...

01:06:34.160 Well,

01:06:34.600 I mean,

01:06:34.940 it's going to be hard to get out

01:06:35.780 at El Salvadorian.

01:06:36.160 I think you just edit it

01:06:37.080 and drop the sources,

01:06:38.480 I'm pretty sure.

01:06:40.580 But what do I know?

01:06:42.140 I don't know computers.

01:06:43.860 I just do it for a living.

01:06:44.920 Take down the chat.

01:06:45.960 But thank you very much.

01:06:46.880 All right.

01:06:47.820 Well,

01:06:48.080 it's a pleasure

01:06:48.680 being with you all today.

01:06:50.320 We'll be going over to the Patreon.

01:06:51.860 I think we just seamlessly go into it.

01:06:53.360 I'm seeing Dave Smith on Friday.

01:06:56.220 Tell him to come on Tower Gang.

01:06:57.740 Yeah.

01:06:58.620 All right.

01:06:59.340 And he'll just be like,

01:07:00.320 yeah,

01:07:00.500 I've been on multiple times.

01:07:00.980 He'll laugh in my face,

01:07:02.080 probably.

01:07:02.780 Yeah.

01:07:03.620 I don't think he likes me anymore.

01:07:05.740 He shouldn't.

01:07:07.000 I don't like you anymore.

01:07:08.340 No.

01:07:10.960 I mean,

01:07:11.320 Toad,

01:07:11.700 I mean,

01:07:11.960 by the way,

01:07:12.480 Toad,

01:07:12.820 what's the update on...

01:07:15.160 Can we go full screen?

01:07:16.160 Why are we just saying it?

01:07:19.980 On the Celtics?

01:07:21.360 Celtics.

01:07:21.640 No.

01:07:22.160 On my TV right now.

01:07:23.020 Just have fun with it.

01:07:24.020 No,

01:07:24.260 I was trying to...

01:07:26.300 I'll have to do it later.

01:07:26.980 All right.

01:07:27.380 Are we in the Patreon segment?

01:07:28.460 I don't know.

01:07:28.680 That's what I was trying to figure out.

01:07:30.360 Yes.

01:07:30.820 Yes.

01:07:31.260 Yeah.

01:07:31.760 We are now,

01:07:32.640 yeah.

01:07:33.160 All right.

01:07:33.680 Cool.

01:07:34.620 All right.

01:07:35.060 Cool.

01:07:35.280 Now we can just...

01:07:36.560 Now we can take it out. 0.99

01:07:37.840 Nigger, 1.00

01:07:38.240 nigger, 1.00

01:07:38.540 nigger. 1.00

01:07:39.160 Look at the name. 1.00

01:07:40.000 Look at the name.

01:07:40.480 What are you going to ask me?

01:07:41.660 Bottom half of train guy.

01:07:43.320 So cozy.

01:07:46.700 That's great.

01:07:47.600 Dude,

01:07:47.820 that's amazing to create a handle that fast.

01:07:49.720 That was dope.

01:07:50.300 That's so great.

01:07:51.980 Oh my God.

01:07:52.720 That was a trip.

01:07:54.220 That's one of the...

01:07:55.480 There's some...

01:07:55.960 That one in last week...

01:07:57.500 Was it last week the one

01:07:58.460 where the lady cut her leg

01:07:59.740 and you could see straight down 1.00

01:08:01.240 to the fucking bone? 1.00

01:08:02.980 That one was unsettling. 1.00

01:08:05.340 To me,

01:08:05.940 that one's worse than the half dude. 0.94

01:08:08.820 Than the half...

01:08:09.680 The man being bifurcated.

01:08:11.960 The half man, yeah. 1.00

01:08:12.920 That was a gut punch.

01:08:14.120 That one.

01:08:14.580 Tyler said that he was literally crying.

01:08:17.720 That's so funny.

01:08:18.660 Oh,

01:08:19.120 it's probably because of the Toad 0.96

01:08:20.660 being a pedophile 0.91

01:08:21.280 in the newscast, right? 0.99

01:08:22.640 Yes.

01:08:23.760 Yes.

01:08:24.560 Okay.

01:08:28.840 Toad,

01:08:29.280 you got to admit, 1.00

01:08:29.940 you got the fucking visage 1.00

01:08:30.900 of a pedo, dog. 1.00

01:08:32.260 Burn it. 1.00

01:08:35.620 Everyone already thinks you are. 1.00

01:08:38.100 I mean,

01:08:38.400 Toad,

01:08:38.640 honestly though,

01:08:39.420 when you see that,

01:08:40.580 do you not think to yourself,

01:08:41.840 man, 1.00

01:08:41.980 that nigga looks like a pedophile. 1.00

01:08:43.060 Dude, 1.00

01:08:43.600 by the way,

01:08:44.340 I think this is...

01:08:46.380 You as Ken Bone 0.99

01:08:47.480 looks like a pedophile. 0.99

01:08:48.280 Does he not? 0.99

01:08:48.720 It does, yeah.

01:08:49.860 Get over here, 0.88

01:08:50.640 Top Lobster. 1.00

01:08:51.340 You're gay. 1.00

01:08:52.240 Top, 1.00

01:08:52.560 I'm about to blow this out

01:08:54.480 of the water,

01:08:54.940 Top.

01:08:54.980 Is that like,

01:08:55.340 just wait.

01:08:56.280 Yeah,

01:08:56.620 he's got an amazing story

01:08:57.980 to tell us.

01:08:58.840 Toad,

01:08:58.940 can you just be honest 1.00

01:08:59.880 that you look like a pedophile? 1.00

01:09:01.440 Can you just fucking admit it? 1.00

01:09:03.020 No, 0.99

01:09:03.240 I don't think I do.

01:09:04.380 As Ken Bone,

01:09:05.040 you do,

01:09:05.280 for sure.

01:09:06.360 100%.

01:09:06.720 As Ken Bone,

01:09:08.360 there has rarely been

01:09:09.300 a human being 0.99

01:09:10.300 built more like a pedophile. 0.92

01:09:11.800 Toad, 0.98

01:09:12.140 of all the people

01:09:12.880 on the show,

01:09:13.980 Toad,

01:09:14.400 seriously,

01:09:15.420 of all the people

01:09:15.960 on the show,

01:09:16.360 who looks the most 0.93

01:09:16.980 like a pedophile? 0.99

01:09:18.560 Me. 0.79

01:09:19.300 Yeah,

01:09:19.620 there you go.

01:09:19.960 There you go.

01:09:21.880 But technically,

01:09:22.880 that doesn't technically mean,

01:09:25.280 like,

01:09:25.920 I will say.

01:09:26.360 You're hardly fat

01:09:27.420 and you're barely ugly, 0.73

01:09:28.980 but you're definitely 1.00

01:09:29.900 a pedophile. 1.00

01:09:31.020 I want to get to this. 0.98

01:09:32.340 Because I think

01:09:34.860 this is a great bit

01:09:36.080 that we can do.

01:09:37.760 Brahimian Grove.

01:09:38.660 Send him up as a child.

01:09:39.880 Hold on. 0.52

01:09:41.860 Let's trap him.

01:09:44.940 Forge our business

01:09:45.760 contract in blood.

01:09:48.200 Brahimian Grove.

01:09:49.280 One,

01:09:49.620 we're doing

01:09:49.900 the bodybuilding competition.

01:09:51.220 But two,

01:09:51.740 I think right after

01:09:52.760 the bodybuilding competition,

01:09:54.020 we have the most

01:09:54.640 look-alike 0.89

01:09:57.260 a pedophile competition.

01:09:59.080 And our fans

01:10:00.700 have a contest.

01:10:03.740 No,

01:10:03.880 that's a great idea.

01:10:05.020 And the winner

01:10:05.620 gets a small child.

01:10:09.240 I mean,

01:10:09.780 it is called

01:10:10.200 Rape of Belouza 0.99

01:10:10.840 after all. 1.00

01:10:12.140 Holy shit. 0.99

01:10:12.700 But is that not 0.99

01:10:13.320 a great thing

01:10:14.320 to have a most...

01:10:14.920 Can I just adopt

01:10:15.760 and raise them?

01:10:17.520 No, 1.00

01:10:17.860 you have to fuck them. 1.00

01:10:18.480 Well, 1.00

01:10:18.720 I mean,

01:10:18.960 yes,

01:10:19.540 you can adopt

01:10:20.160 and raise them.

01:10:21.680 That's a good question.

01:10:22.660 Is it worse 1.00

01:10:23.160 to just rape the kid 1.00

01:10:24.080 and then let them 1.00

01:10:24.520 go back to their family 1.00

01:10:25.300 or to adopt 1.00

01:10:25.900 and raise and rape them? 1.00

01:10:27.860 What? 1.00

01:10:28.440 Do you rape them 1.00

01:10:29.020 multiple times? 0.99

01:10:29.900 Is it like constant

01:10:31.060 or is it like

01:10:32.240 you do it once

01:10:33.040 but then you're like,

01:10:33.840 I'm going to be my son?

01:10:35.620 Is it more...

01:10:36.900 Is it more...

01:10:38.100 Is it better?

01:10:39.740 Is it better?

01:10:40.320 Yeah,

01:10:40.540 can we veto this one?

01:10:41.140 I'd like to veto it.

01:10:42.020 Can we...

01:10:42.920 Is it better to 1.00

01:10:43.880 rape a kid 1.00

01:10:44.560 and then just send them 1.00

01:10:45.220 into the wild,

01:10:45.720 make them an orphan 0.86

01:10:46.300 or is it better 1.00

01:10:47.320 to rape them 1.00

01:10:47.800 and then make them 1.00

01:10:48.320 their child?

01:10:50.540 These are the options

01:10:51.500 you're given.

01:10:52.180 Go! 0.95

01:10:53.580 I mean,

01:10:54.040 this is what

01:10:54.420 our mailbag questions are.

01:10:55.720 Yeah,

01:10:55.960 that sounds like

01:10:56.700 a Mark Vestival question

01:10:57.640 right there.

01:10:57.940 Just might perish.

01:10:58.720 Conundrums.

01:11:02.480 Outside of that question.

01:11:04.300 So no one's going to answer it.

01:11:05.520 Howard.

01:11:06.480 I think it's better

01:11:07.720 to raise them.

01:11:08.920 Give them a good home

01:11:09.680 after that.

01:11:10.400 I think that's true.

01:11:11.580 I think it's better.

01:11:13.080 Yeah.

01:11:13.740 You probably shouldn't 1.00

01:11:14.460 fuck them though, 1.00

01:11:14.960 Toad. 1.00

01:11:15.080 Yeah.

01:11:16.120 As a generally speaking... 0.98

01:11:17.160 Going to hell 0.99

01:11:17.500 either way. 1.00

01:11:18.360 You're going to

01:11:18.860 either way.

01:11:19.340 You might as well 1.00

01:11:19.700 fuck them. 1.00

01:11:22.700 You're going to go 1.00

01:11:23.300 to hell. 1.00

01:11:23.580 You might as well 1.00

01:11:23.880 fuck something. 1.00

01:11:24.760 I can't believe 1.00

01:11:25.680 that Toad 0.99

01:11:26.080 actually fucking 0.99

01:11:26.680 made that argument. 1.00

01:11:27.140 Technically,

01:11:27.580 if you're going to hell... 0.67

01:11:27.940 I'm not going to hell 1.00

01:11:28.960 with a full nut sack. 0.71

01:11:30.280 Everybody already 0.99

01:11:31.000 thinks I'm a pedophile. 0.94

01:11:32.080 Might as well 1.00

01:11:32.380 fuck this kid. 1.00

01:11:34.420 Also, 1.00

01:11:35.640 if you're already 0.99

01:11:35.940 going to hell, 0.99

01:11:36.720 leave them. 1.00

01:11:37.080 Who gives a fuck? 1.00

01:11:37.620 Don't raise them. 1.00

01:11:38.360 Don't have a dependent.

01:11:39.660 No way. 0.86

01:11:40.980 You're going to hell? 0.99

01:11:41.980 I want less dependents. 0.99

01:11:43.040 That's a fair point.

01:11:46.300 I can never run

01:11:47.300 for office.

01:11:50.000 I ran for president.

01:11:51.620 Everybody's on the line.

01:11:53.200 Nobody cared.

01:11:56.060 Still.

01:11:57.120 One of my points 0.98

01:11:57.920 is to nuke Israel. 0.94

01:11:59.360 I do think 0.99

01:12:00.020 most like a pedophile 0.98

01:12:01.500 look like a pedophile 0.96

01:12:02.580 contest is really funny

01:12:04.060 and would be really great.

01:12:05.260 I think that's a really great...

01:12:06.140 But not with just us

01:12:06.320 because that'll obviously win.

01:12:08.320 I don't think so.

01:12:08.880 I think there's more pedophile...

01:12:09.600 I think if our fans

01:12:10.500 are there,

01:12:10.840 they'll be playing.

01:12:11.280 I think there's more 0.95

01:12:12.420 pedophile-looking people 0.99

01:12:13.420 than you, Toad.

01:12:14.300 We probably have fans 0.99

01:12:15.040 that are actual pedophiles. 0.73

01:12:16.460 Toad, Toad, 0.91

01:12:16.860 you're not max pedophiles.

01:12:17.360 Can you imagine

01:12:17.680 if Toad is the most 1.00

01:12:19.260 pedophile-looking motherfucker? 1.00

01:12:20.700 Dude, 1.00

01:12:20.900 if I beat actual pedophiles 0.98

01:12:22.800 in looking more like a pedophile, 1.00

01:12:24.720 I would probably kill myself. 1.00

01:12:26.960 Like, Toad, 0.99

01:12:27.320 I don't think you're

01:12:28.020 max pedophile.

01:12:29.280 I think you have things

01:12:30.160 that...

01:12:30.460 You're pedo-maxing?

01:12:32.680 Toad is totally

01:12:33.740 pedo-maxing today.

01:12:35.380 I feel like non

01:12:36.220 to total pedo.

01:12:37.240 I think you're like... 0.99

01:12:37.960 Pedo-maxing 1.00

01:12:39.400 sounds like a funny short

01:12:42.520 I would watch

01:12:43.160 to be like,

01:12:43.860 today we're out here

01:12:45.020 pedo-maxing,

01:12:46.240 hit on like...

01:12:47.020 hit on like

01:12:48.220 eight 14-year-old girls

01:12:49.660 today,

01:12:50.140 pedo-maxing.

01:12:51.080 Like Perry,

01:12:52.580 the Perry Abbasi

01:12:54.000 or whatever, 0.92

01:12:54.440 he's pedo-maxing.

01:12:56.540 Yeah.

01:12:57.300 But you're like...

01:12:58.100 He's alpha pedo-maxing. 0.99

01:12:59.460 You're pedo-middling. 0.99

01:13:00.280 You're like a seven 1.00

01:13:01.280 or an eight.

01:13:02.320 I'm just not as good as Perry.

01:13:04.140 By the way,

01:13:04.440 pedo-middling, 0.74

01:13:05.400 way worse than pedo-maxing,

01:13:06.480 by the way, 1.00

01:13:06.980 makes you a loser. 1.00

01:13:07.980 Like you're not even good 1.00

01:13:09.360 at being a pedophile. 0.96

01:13:09.860 If you max at anything, 0.98

01:13:10.780 it's better than knitting

01:13:11.600 at anything.

01:13:12.340 Like commit or don't.

01:13:13.520 I think when it comes

01:13:14.340 to pedophilia,

01:13:15.220 it's probably not best

01:13:16.500 to be maxing.

01:13:17.580 Yeah.

01:13:18.540 I'm going to be

01:13:19.440 the odd man out here

01:13:20.260 and say that.

01:13:21.060 Are we allowed to play this?

01:13:22.980 Yeah.

01:13:23.140 All right.

01:13:25.440 Go away.

01:13:31.020 Stop.

01:13:31.380 That's going to be me

01:13:38.500 later, man. 1.00

01:13:40.220 What the fuck? 1.00

01:13:45.000 Dude, I can't believe 1.00

01:13:46.020 Ashton did that.

01:13:50.380 She's got a bush. 1.00

01:13:51.840 She's got a bush. 1.00

01:13:52.760 I was going to say

01:13:53.920 I probably would 1.00

01:13:54.340 fuck this shit. 1.00

01:13:56.220 I would hope you would. 1.00

01:14:00.940 How's that your

01:14:01.600 commentary, Todd? 1.00

01:14:02.880 I'd fuck her. 1.00

01:14:06.080 Jesus Christ. 1.00

01:14:08.060 That is a weird thing to say.

01:14:08.920 Do you think she

01:14:09.820 stripped down

01:14:10.800 while she was standing there

01:14:12.060 or she came 0.86

01:14:12.880 out of somewhere

01:14:13.920 already naked?

01:14:15.220 She was naked

01:14:15.680 on the airplane. 0.96

01:14:16.380 She was naked

01:14:17.780 on the airplane?

01:14:18.680 I don't know.

01:14:20.120 She came in there 1.00

01:14:21.400 and got a little

01:14:21.960 big foot.

01:14:25.280 Tappy feet.

01:14:30.080 Why is nobody

01:14:30.920 the dudes

01:14:31.960 the cops are like

01:14:32.800 I don't know

01:14:33.500 if it's not a cop

01:14:34.380 or something.

01:14:34.740 The dudes are like

01:14:35.340 afraid of her.

01:14:37.560 They're pretty great.

01:14:39.460 Don't you think

01:14:39.980 they would just like

01:14:40.580 bear hug her 0.99

01:14:41.540 and just put an end

01:14:42.240 to this and be like

01:14:42.900 all right,

01:14:43.360 we're detaining you.

01:14:45.180 Dude.

01:14:46.380 How have terrorists

01:14:49.340 not figured this out?

01:14:50.180 You could just be 0.98

01:14:50.660 a naked lady 1.00

01:14:51.300 and blow up 1.00

01:14:52.120 a fucking airport 1.00

01:14:53.060 because no one's 1.00

01:14:53.800 going to touch you.

01:14:58.700 Great catch,

01:14:59.560 by the way.

01:15:00.300 Yeah.

01:15:00.740 Right?

01:15:01.120 You got a cat

01:15:02.180 like reflexes, baby.

01:15:05.020 Oh my God.

01:15:06.840 Oh.

01:15:07.300 It's broken.

01:15:08.340 Oh, that monitor 0.99

01:15:09.260 fucked it. 1.00

01:15:11.320 Dude, that guy 1.00

01:15:12.040 passed me by

01:15:12.500 and I was like

01:15:12.740 God, it's Charlotte.

01:15:14.020 White woman 1.00

01:15:16.720 must be stopped. 1.00

01:15:18.060 Yeah, some black guy 1.00

01:15:19.060 filed. 0.94

01:15:19.200 But no one wants to

01:15:19.740 stop him, dude.

01:15:20.480 You're all just going to let her

01:15:20.680 do that?

01:15:21.760 You could just do this?

01:15:23.240 You could just like

01:15:23.820 walk around.

01:15:25.600 I mean, like,

01:15:26.380 the highest level of

01:15:27.400 the highest level of

01:15:28.980 privilege on

01:15:29.600 planet Earth 0.92

01:15:30.880 is for a white woman. 1.00

01:15:32.140 That guy is literally

01:15:34.620 on the phone.

01:15:36.520 He's like, 0.92

01:15:36.940 so can I hit her 0.97

01:15:38.120 or like, 0.99

01:15:38.620 well, I get fired. 0.99

01:15:39.380 Like, what the fuck 0.98

01:15:39.880 am I supposed to do here? 0.98

01:15:40.780 I mean, they're probably so

01:15:40.980 concerned because it's like

01:15:42.240 if you touch her, 0.98

01:15:43.280 oh no, you touch my boob 1.00

01:15:44.780 or oh, you're hurting me.

01:15:46.580 It's like you're just

01:15:47.260 concerned.

01:15:47.520 You're breaking me. 0.95

01:15:49.280 If it's a naked toad, 1.00

01:15:51.180 they're fucking, 1.00

01:15:51.660 they're tasing him right away. 1.00

01:15:52.760 Yeah, they don't give a fuck. 1.00

01:15:53.680 At his balls. 1.00

01:15:54.180 I would be in person 1.00

01:15:55.020 for being a pedophile. 0.98

01:15:55.960 And being like, 1.00

01:15:56.540 we're going to shock your nuts. 0.70

01:15:57.920 That's what we're going for. 0.72

01:15:58.780 Like with her,

01:15:59.220 they were like,

01:15:59.700 I'm saying it's 0.98

01:16:00.220 no one gives a shit 1.00

01:16:01.020 about pedophiles. 1.00

01:16:02.240 disparate treatment

01:16:02.920 under the law. 0.99

01:16:03.560 It should be fucking, 1.00

01:16:04.380 they should have shot her. 1.00

01:16:05.220 It's a double standard. 0.99

01:16:06.280 By the way,

01:16:06.700 this isn't happening

01:16:07.380 at Rape of Palooza.

01:16:08.540 She's getting pushed down 0.99

01:16:09.600 and raped. 0.99

01:16:10.320 Like, you know how it is? 0.99

01:16:11.280 Whoa.

01:16:12.040 No, that's not what

01:16:12.740 we're about at Rape of Palooza.

01:16:13.960 No, we don't.

01:16:14.600 It's all about consent

01:16:15.720 there, baby. 0.55

01:16:16.780 Rape of Palooza. 1.00

01:16:18.220 We only rape each other. 1.00

01:16:19.920 I think maybe the branding 0.98

01:16:21.200 put you on the wrong track.

01:16:22.400 The rape is on the inside.

01:16:23.320 Not really your fault. 0.94

01:16:24.540 It's like,

01:16:24.980 it's in here.

01:16:26.040 The rape's in here. 1.00

01:16:27.160 I read into it.

01:16:28.220 Yeah, okay, that makes sense. 0.98

01:16:29.420 We rape in here 1.00

01:16:30.120 and we don't rape out there. 1.00

01:16:30.400 I thought the rape

01:16:30.940 was in here. 0.93

01:16:32.020 It's a rape 0.97

01:16:32.500 of the Overton window

01:16:33.340 of comedy.

01:16:34.020 It's not really,

01:16:34.740 you know.

01:16:35.220 Yeah.

01:16:36.000 Not violently sexualizing

01:16:37.420 anybody.

01:16:39.180 Might be a little bit straight.

01:16:40.900 Yeah, that's what I think.

01:16:41.620 It sort of goes both ways.

01:16:45.160 Such a great drop.

01:16:46.520 He knows it.

01:16:49.220 Oh, man.

01:16:50.460 How do you think it's stopped?

01:16:51.360 Do you think she just

01:16:52.120 finally just calmed down

01:16:53.100 and then they just like,

01:16:54.240 here's a towel,

01:16:55.000 wipe up and get out?

01:16:55.840 I think they probably just,

01:16:56.520 they probably put her 0.99

01:16:57.400 in the back of the cruiser

01:16:58.860 and took her home.

01:17:00.100 Yeah, I know.

01:17:01.140 I feel like they probably

01:17:03.220 waited for a female cop 0.83

01:17:04.380 to come in

01:17:04.820 and they probably

01:17:05.200 literally corralled her

01:17:06.020 and then kind of just 0.99

01:17:06.780 fucking manhandled her 1.00

01:17:07.920 and fucking put her down. 1.00

01:17:09.040 Can they handle like 1.00

01:17:09.520 lasso her? 0.99

01:17:10.180 Put her down 1.00

01:17:10.820 and they fucking put her down. 1.00

01:17:11.420 Yeah, they probably 0.99

01:17:12.000 literally got like

01:17:12.620 two or three female cops 1.00

01:17:14.120 and they're like, 1.00

01:17:14.780 all right, come on, bitch. 1.00

01:17:15.520 Let's go. 1.00

01:17:16.560 What do you think it is?

01:17:17.180 Do you think it's 1.00

01:17:17.540 fucking drug addiction? 1.00

01:17:19.140 Mental illness? 1.00

01:17:20.740 Mental illness?

01:17:21.420 That's weird.

01:17:22.540 Pitches be tripping.

01:17:23.920 She did yell, 1.00

01:17:24.860 oh, I speak all languages.

01:17:26.460 Yeah, but who doesn't

01:17:27.140 these days?

01:17:27.740 She was speaking in tongues.

01:17:30.740 Between her 0.65

01:17:31.780 and the lady last week 0.98

01:17:33.020 that was just yelling nigger 0.99

01:17:34.320 over and over and over again, 0.99

01:17:36.780 who would you rather bank?

01:17:37.780 I forget who did that.

01:17:41.200 This lady was better looking, 0.99

01:17:42.600 I think.

01:17:42.920 Was she hot? 1.00

01:17:44.480 No.

01:17:45.260 I don't think she was as hot.

01:17:46.440 I don't think she was as hot,

01:17:47.240 no. 0.99

01:17:47.440 The nigger lady was not hot. 1.00

01:17:48.240 I'm fucking the hotter one. 1.00

01:17:49.720 We're going with the hotter one. 1.00

01:17:50.920 That's the airport lady. 1.00

01:17:52.140 I don't know.

01:17:52.660 It's a toss up, really.

01:17:53.960 I mean, I'm not really like,

01:17:55.060 there's not really

01:17:55.480 because it's probably both

01:17:56.300 it's probably both grips.

01:17:57.900 Both of them probably grippy. 0.99

01:17:58.940 They're both crazy, man. 1.00

01:18:00.620 This lady's got the bush. 1.00

01:18:01.700 I'm kind of into it, so

01:18:02.960 go with that, too.

01:18:05.020 Wait, that's weird. 1.00

01:18:06.560 You have a fucking 1.00

01:18:07.900 a preference 1.00

01:18:08.780 when it comes to pussy? 1.00

01:18:11.520 Yeah. 1.00

01:18:12.480 Even though I skip it.

01:18:14.300 Yeah, so why

01:18:15.140 why do you have a preference?

01:18:16.360 I don't understand.

01:18:17.860 I have opinions on everything.

01:18:19.960 I know, I know, but

01:18:20.740 I'm just, I'm trying

01:18:22.220 to understand the rationale. 0.99

01:18:23.900 You never, you never fuck one. 0.99

01:18:25.740 So, like, what's 0.93

01:18:26.520 what's the difference to you?

01:18:29.080 It just

01:18:29.700 it looks better.

01:18:32.560 It looks better with hair?

01:18:34.480 Yeah.

01:18:35.020 Not like the full bush 0.99

01:18:36.460 where it's like a fucking forest 0.99

01:18:37.780 and you gotta, like 1.00

01:18:38.460 You know what I'm talking about?

01:18:40.120 I don't know.

01:18:41.140 Like, track the road

01:18:42.140 you know what I mean.

01:18:43.240 Like, some

01:18:44.400 like, trimmed bush

01:18:45.920 is what you want.

01:18:46.720 Toad, I was

01:18:47.360 fully bald 1.00

01:18:48.680 it looks like a fucking 1.00

01:18:49.540 like, you're a fucking pedophile 1.00

01:18:50.860 or something. 1.00

01:18:52.060 Gotta have, like

01:18:52.620 And you're telling me

01:18:53.420 that's not your thing?

01:18:54.240 Because I saw

01:18:54.760 a news broadcast

01:18:55.940 a few minutes ago

01:18:56.580 that says otherwise.

01:18:57.140 Shockingly, I know.

01:18:58.400 You wanna have trimmed bush

01:18:59.780 is what I go for.

01:19:01.320 Toad, I'm

01:19:02.180 usually, so

01:19:03.340 What?

01:19:03.940 For the longest time

01:19:04.860 I was a full bald man.

01:19:07.700 Recently

01:19:08.100 I've been a

01:19:10.020 You shaved all of your pubes?

01:19:12.640 No.

01:19:13.000 No, dude.

01:19:13.460 My preference

01:19:14.060 We were just talking

01:19:15.160 God, Toad

01:19:17.160 Why do you do this?

01:19:17.980 Why are you the way

01:19:18.740 that you are?

01:19:19.600 Connect a dot, bro.

01:19:20.860 Dude, it's like

01:19:21.240 context

01:19:21.680 like, he really does

01:19:23.060 have haunted

01:19:23.380 because the context

01:19:24.300 there was

01:19:24.760 I mean, like

01:19:25.300 It couldn't have been

01:19:26.040 more obvious.

01:19:26.720 Yeah.

01:19:27.220 It wasn't to me.

01:19:28.740 Yeah, I realize that.

01:19:30.660 And you could say

01:19:31.880 chest

01:19:32.280 and he'd be like 0.99

01:19:32.760 boobs 0.97

01:19:33.520 boobs are on chest 1.00

01:19:35.120 Chest have boobs 1.00

01:19:36.940 I was a full 0.98

01:19:38.680 full bald man

01:19:39.660 See what he's doing 1.00

01:19:40.440 But you like vagina 1.00

01:19:41.720 And then 0.99

01:19:44.480 recently

01:19:45.300 I saw some

01:19:47.080 like hair

01:19:47.660 and I was like

01:19:48.260 Oh, I kind of like that

01:19:49.400 I might kind of

01:19:49.920 And so I'm kind of

01:19:50.560 like before

01:19:51.360 Are you talking about

01:19:52.200 your wife

01:19:52.600 or are you talking 1.00

01:19:52.900 about porn? 0.99

01:19:53.860 Wife

01:19:54.200 Actually, wife

01:19:54.900 Yeah

01:19:55.100 I think I like my wife

01:19:56.680 No, no, no

01:19:57.640 I thought it was like

01:19:58.180 a little more hair

01:19:59.200 and I told her that

01:20:00.500 and she was like

01:20:01.000 What?

01:20:01.280 She was like

01:20:01.560 You never

01:20:01.940 And I was like

01:20:02.480 There's something about it now

01:20:04.060 I think

01:20:04.560 I hit

01:20:05.240 I ticked over a certain age

01:20:06.940 and I was like

01:20:07.700 Bush is cool now

01:20:08.860 Like, Bush is nice

01:20:09.780 I don't know what it was

01:20:11.440 Welcome to the club

01:20:12.700 This is you

01:20:13.160 sounding into your 30s

01:20:14.320 I'm ready for Bush 0.98

01:20:15.040 Yeah, that's right

01:20:15.880 What's you at about

01:20:16.900 Bring on the bush, baby

01:20:17.940 Yeah, once you get 30

01:20:19.080 Yeah, then it's like

01:20:19.780 Oh, Bush

01:20:20.420 Bring me a Budweiser

01:20:21.580 and a bush

01:20:22.300 Bring on

01:20:23.140 Giving up trying

01:20:24.400 Bring that on

01:20:25.560 That's right

01:20:26.420 Bring me a glass of whiskey

01:20:28.920 on the rocks

01:20:29.500 and some furry bush

01:20:31.080 Yeah

01:20:31.820 That's what men like 0.85

01:20:33.260 Is it wrong?

01:20:34.760 Like, as you older

01:20:35.640 I feel like

01:20:35.980 I don't think there is

01:20:36.520 a right or wrong here

01:20:37.340 Well, as you get older

01:20:38.580 I think it's accurate

01:20:39.180 Usually, like, more

01:20:40.040 I would

01:20:41.540 I would like that

01:20:42.540 My old lady won't do it, though 1.00

01:20:44.040 Honestly

01:20:44.340 She doesn't like

01:20:45.200 She wouldn't want to put hair there 0.55

01:20:46.380 Dating a woman who's older 0.99

01:20:48.300 and if she has no bush 0.54

01:20:50.200 it's kind of like

01:20:50.860 It's like

01:20:51.900 What's the point? 0.99

01:20:53.020 It's like fucking weird 1.00

01:20:53.560 May as well go fuck a 20-year-old 1.00

01:20:54.780 Right, Clint? 1.00

01:20:55.640 Right

01:20:55.960 Yeah

01:20:56.660 It's like you know what you're doing

01:20:58.620 Like, you can, like

01:21:00.100 You're really trying hard here 1.00

01:21:01.460 It's like if you fuck a 50-year-old 1.00

01:21:02.520 that's got no bush 1.00

01:21:04.220 It's like

01:21:04.700 Yeah

01:21:05.040 But once women get, like, super old 1.00

01:21:07.300 Don't they just not have 0.75

01:21:08.840 Like, puke hair anymore? 1.00

01:21:11.420 What the fuck? 0.99

01:21:12.180 That's not how it works 1.00

01:21:12.860 Are you for real?

01:21:14.480 They stop ovulating

01:21:15.380 Not producing hair 0.65

01:21:16.460 You weirdo

01:21:17.220 By the way, when they get older 0.63

01:21:18.760 Really?

01:21:19.100 They need the hair to hide 0.99

01:21:20.160 The wrinkles

01:21:20.800 If anything, they produce more hair

01:21:22.900 After they go through menopause

01:21:24.500 I don't think I've ever seen

01:21:26.120 Like, an 80-year-old

01:21:27.000 Dude 1.00

01:21:27.260 Pussy 1.00

01:21:27.900 Well, actually, maybe I have 1.00

01:21:29.040 Do you think about how much, like

01:21:32.820 The person that sees the most pubic hair

01:21:35.880 Is the guy that works the morgue

01:21:38.900 And I never really thought about that

01:21:41.440 I don't think they put him in there naked

01:21:43.900 How would he see the most bush? 0.97

01:21:45.800 Do you think he's working at the dicks? 0.89

01:21:46.400 They have to do the autopsy 0.99

01:21:47.480 Yeah

01:21:48.020 The morgue guy?

01:21:49.720 Or whatever 1.00

01:21:50.520 The fucking 1.00

01:21:51.080 Whoever does the autopsy 1.00

01:21:52.980 The mortician

01:21:53.480 Even the mortician

01:21:55.780 The mortician definitely has to

01:21:56.760 I don't even think they all get autopsies

01:21:58.440 That's right

01:22:00.580 But they all definitely are naked

01:22:02.380 It's only under

01:22:03.360 I don't

01:22:03.960 Jose is right 1.00

01:22:04.980 You think if you suck a dead dude's dick 1.00

01:22:07.080 You can get it hard? 1.00

01:22:09.160 I think you can

01:22:09.620 Cole is right

01:22:10.560 Because the body has to be like 1.00

01:22:11.800 Embalmed and shit 1.00

01:22:12.800 So I'm pretty sure they're naked 1.00

01:22:13.780 And they address them

01:22:14.840 Yeah, I think they have to

01:22:15.860 Yeah

01:22:16.520 No, no, seriously 1.00

01:22:17.320 Do you think if you suck a dead dude's dick 1.00

01:22:18.840 Hard enough 1.00

01:22:19.520 You can get it hard?

01:22:20.040 Not Elizabeth

01:22:20.400 Didn't that happen in Clerks?

01:22:25.880 Remember Clerks? 1.00

01:22:26.920 The fucking 1.00

01:22:27.320 The dead guy? 1.00

01:22:29.340 And he still had a boner?

01:22:30.300 You haven't seen Clerks?

01:22:31.200 Oh, alright

01:22:31.600 Yeah, I've seen Clerks a long time ago, dude

01:22:33.740 Why are you making Clerks references, dude? 0.99

01:22:36.800 Because you're talking about fucking dead people 1.00

01:22:38.300 Dead boners 1.00

01:22:39.460 But isn't it crazy to me

01:22:40.660 That morticians definitely see the most bush, right?

01:22:42.960 Out of anybody

01:22:43.580 I would say probably

01:22:45.480 The people that get Brazilian waxes

01:22:47.400 See the most bush, dude

01:22:48.340 It's all day

01:22:48.800 Every day

01:22:49.140 Oh, yeah

01:22:49.160 I think about that

01:22:50.180 Or like an OBGYN

01:22:52.460 Wait, wait

01:22:52.900 Are you saying that more people

01:22:54.560 Get Brazilian waxes than die?

01:22:56.240 Yeah

01:22:58.060 Yeah, I'm in that

01:23:00.900 Probably, yeah

01:23:01.720 Actually, probably, yeah

01:23:02.720 Well, they get them more often, right?

01:23:04.600 You only die once

01:23:05.780 Oh, that's true

01:23:06.520 That's true

01:23:07.100 It's like, yeah, that makes sense

01:23:08.580 Like, if you were to figure the amount of

01:23:10.700 Like, people get those waxes

01:23:12.100 Customers in a day

01:23:13.000 Compared to how many people die in a day

01:23:14.500 I feel like there's probably more customers of that

01:23:16.740 In a day

01:23:17.180 Right, you're seeing repeat

01:23:18.180 Not even

01:23:18.560 It's not even close

01:23:19.400 If that counts

01:23:19.840 Yes, the answer is obviously waxing over dying

01:23:22.420 Right

01:23:23.060 Yeah

01:23:23.280 It's a rare event to die 1.00

01:23:24.640 You guys really believe that you can suck a dead dude's dick hard? 1.00

01:23:27.700 No 1.00

01:23:28.000 I don't believe it at all

01:23:28.760 Oh, you said yes

01:23:29.660 It would probably be

01:23:30.380 At a certain point 0.97

01:23:32.000 It was a dumb question 1.00

01:23:32.920 The only answer was the ridiculous answer 1.00

01:23:35.240 So 0.95

01:23:35.500 I don't know the answer

01:23:36.900 I think, realistically

01:23:37.600 There is a certain point after death

01:23:39.180 That you could still get it hard

01:23:40.320 No

01:23:41.800 No, there isn't

01:23:42.500 How long?

01:23:44.100 Let's see

01:23:44.680 Enjoy it

01:23:45.620 Because I am

01:23:46.320 I am the hardest

01:23:47.500 Hardest

01:23:49.100 Even when I'm dead

01:23:50.300 Still hard

01:23:51.020 Still the hardest

01:23:51.760 Let's look it up

01:23:52.240 Let's do the research

01:23:53.320 This is going right into my Google search history

01:23:56.260 Yeah, right

01:23:56.780 Let's get hard after death 0.98

01:23:57.800 Get dead 0.61

01:23:58.280 You're going to have 1.00

01:24:00.080 Cash Patel at your door

01:24:01.080 By tomorrow morning 0.99

01:24:02.320 Yes, a post-mortem erection 0.98

01:24:03.940 Also known as 0.98

01:24:04.620 The death erection 0.67

01:24:05.800 Or terminal erection 0.96

01:24:07.860 Terminal erection

01:24:08.760 That's a great band name 0.60

01:24:12.000 Terminal erection

01:24:13.040 Terminally erect

01:24:13.360 No, terminally erect

01:24:14.800 That's the name of the band

01:24:16.300 Is terminally erect

01:24:17.480 Better than terminal erection? 0.96

01:24:19.520 I like terminal erection 0.95

01:24:20.720 Terminal erection 0.97

01:24:21.840 Terminally erect

01:24:23.480 I don't know 0.98

01:24:23.980 This is my final boner

01:24:25.600 Yo

01:24:25.940 Yo, yo, yo

01:24:26.780 Hold on, hold on

01:24:27.820 Can occur

01:24:28.480 Particularly in cases of death by hanging

01:24:31.040 Or other forms of violent death

01:24:33.060 Autorotic asphyxiation

01:24:34.660 It literally is like

01:24:36.140 Wait, so

01:24:36.960 So just

01:24:37.520 Getting choked

01:24:38.580 You don't just get off

01:24:39.920 Because like

01:24:40.480 It's thrilling

01:24:41.240 But you actually get off

01:24:42.280 Because like

01:24:42.640 There's a physiological response

01:24:44.820 To having blood

01:24:46.040 And oxygen

01:24:46.760 Shot off to your brain 1.00

01:24:47.520 That makes your dick part 1.00

01:24:48.220 I would assume 1.00

01:24:49.160 It's like the pressure

01:24:50.040 That's caused

01:24:50.860 In your blood

01:24:52.000 If you die 0.91

01:24:54.200 Yeah, like

01:24:55.200 If you die while in fear 0.91

01:24:56.620 Then you have a dead boner 1.00

01:24:58.360 You get a terminal erection 1.00

01:25:00.220 Yeah, I'm pretty sure 0.99

01:25:00.880 That's how it works

01:25:01.480 Hold on, hold on

01:25:02.460 I gotta

01:25:02.840 This is so

01:25:03.980 You think

01:25:04.180 Erections are caused by fear?

01:25:06.220 Is that what you're thinking?

01:25:07.380 Yeah

01:25:07.680 What?

01:25:10.020 Are you scared of women? 0.96

01:25:11.660 Share my screen

01:25:11.760 Whoever

01:25:12.400 Yeah

01:25:13.200 It's not

01:25:13.960 You don't have to play music

01:25:14.900 I don't know why

01:25:17.180 They chose this picture

01:25:18.260 Can y'all see it?

01:25:19.420 Oh, there it goes

01:25:19.820 It should be going

01:25:20.520 No, I cannot

01:25:21.140 Alright

01:25:22.540 Why did they choose 0.94

01:25:24.040 The death erection

01:25:25.380 And then they chose

01:25:26.240 A picture of Christ 0.89

01:25:27.080 Did Jesus have a boner? 0.95

01:25:28.180 What is the implication here? 0.97

01:25:31.960 I was like

01:25:32.480 That's probably

01:25:33.020 The worst thing to choose

01:25:34.440 Your lord and savior 0.67

01:25:35.740 Had a boner

01:25:36.620 Upon his death

01:25:37.860 I mean

01:25:39.140 There was the second coming

01:25:40.880 Oh, wayo 1.00

01:25:42.920 Fuck 1.00

01:25:44.420 Oh, what? 1.00

01:25:45.180 Oh, by the way

01:25:45.580 I love this

01:25:46.380 Commonly referred to 0.96

01:25:47.200 The death erection

01:25:47.780 The phenomenon is recorded 1.00

01:25:48.780 In both people with penises 1.00

01:25:50.040 And people with clitorises 1.00

01:25:51.540 Big ol' meaty hard clits 1.00

01:25:54.660 The one is more typically

01:25:59.260 Easily observed

01:26:00.200 Than the other 0.99

01:26:01.680 God damn 0.96

01:26:05.520 Did I actually find that 1.00

01:26:06.780 Dead bitch's Clint? 1.00

01:26:09.740 You said Clint 1.00

01:26:10.480 I don't like it

01:26:11.420 Oh, did I? 0.99

01:26:12.640 God damn it 0.99

01:26:13.320 Clint 0.99

01:26:13.840 All right 0.61

01:26:15.900 Death erections

01:26:16.640 That's a thing 0.96

01:26:17.320 Nice

01:26:17.620 He rose after death

01:26:18.200 I didn't even know this

01:26:19.020 By the way

01:26:19.420 So I was right

01:26:20.160 He rose after death

01:26:21.460 That's right

01:26:22.580 That's such a great joke

01:26:23.680 That's right

01:26:23.700 Ew

01:26:24.280 He can't

01:26:26.320 He comes again

01:26:27.260 Dude, I

01:26:31.300 So I was right

01:26:32.980 Technically

01:26:33.400 You can get a man hard

01:26:34.880 After death

01:26:35.380 Maybe if he was already

01:26:36.640 Hard to begin with

01:26:37.380 But I think

01:26:38.540 For a short time

01:26:39.580 You could probably

01:26:40.280 Also just get him hard

01:26:41.320 Just from

01:26:41.820 Fellatio 0.65

01:26:43.300 Try it out

01:26:43.880 Try it out

01:26:44.360 Did you ever

01:26:44.980 You ever watch

01:26:46.160 The final member?

01:26:48.560 It's a documentary

01:26:49.700 About the 0.96

01:26:50.320 World penis museum 0.93

01:26:52.140 In Iceland 0.97

01:26:52.740 It's this old 0.82

01:26:54.260 Crazy dude

01:26:54.960 Who collects 0.99

01:26:55.460 Mammals 0.99

01:26:56.660 Penises 0.99

01:26:57.260 Is that where 0.98

01:26:58.120 What's his name?

01:27:00.380 The Russian 0.98

01:27:00.840 Crazy Russian guy 1.00

01:27:01.900 His foreskin 1.00

01:27:03.520 Is that 1.00

01:27:03.840 Or his penis 1.00

01:27:04.480 Don't they have that 1.00

01:27:05.260 Penis in vinegar 1.00

01:27:06.520 Or some shit? 1.00

01:27:07.180 Oh 0.99

01:27:07.360 They're all in like 1.00

01:27:08.380 What the fuck his name is 0.99

01:27:09.280 Yeah 1.00

01:27:09.460 They're all in like 1.00

01:27:09.960 The one that has

01:27:11.040 The

01:27:11.400 Yeah

01:27:12.040 He's like the

01:27:13.040 Rasputin

01:27:13.640 It's not where 0.99

01:27:15.340 Rasputin's dick is 0.96

01:27:16.880 But the whole movie 0.99

01:27:17.660 Was about

01:27:18.180 Who was gonna be

01:27:19.360 The first human 1.00

01:27:20.180 To have their penis 1.00

01:27:21.000 In the museum 1.00

01:27:21.820 Because the guy 1.00

01:27:22.320 Wanted a human penis 1.00

01:27:23.340 And there was this 1.00

01:27:24.680 Like Icelandic dude 1.00

01:27:25.820 Say penis again 1.00

01:27:26.640 There was this 1.00

01:27:28.140 Penis 1.00

01:27:28.720 There was this 0.99

01:27:29.200 Icelandic dude

01:27:30.040 Who was supposed to be

01:27:30.740 This like

01:27:31.200 Casanova type of dude

01:27:32.920 Who was like

01:27:33.280 Known for like 1.00

01:27:34.100 Fucking all the women 1.00

01:27:35.380 In Iceland 1.00

01:27:35.960 And it was like

01:27:36.560 By the way

01:27:37.080 Swirl back up

01:27:38.300 He was donating 1.00

01:27:39.640 His penis 1.00

01:27:40.140 If that's the 1.00

01:27:40.600 If that's the owner

01:27:41.420 He definitely wins

01:27:42.220 The pedophile competition 0.54

01:27:43.040 Yeah that's the curator 1.00

01:27:43.060 Of the penis museum 0.99

01:27:43.980 Yeah he beats out Toad 0.99

01:27:45.660 He beats out Toad

01:27:46.740 I just like 0.99

01:27:48.100 Collecting penises 0.99

01:27:49.020 So this guy 0.99

01:27:50.480 The Icelandic guy 1.00

01:27:51.640 Was donating his penis 1.00

01:27:52.360 Do we have any penises 1.00

01:27:52.380 Of someone under the age of 14 0.99

01:27:54.300 Yeah 1.00

01:27:54.620 He was gonna donate his penis 1.00

01:27:55.980 To this museum 1.00

01:27:56.820 Upon his death 0.99

01:27:58.020 We're riffing on penises Toad 0.99

01:27:59.720 But then what happened 0.99

01:28:01.020 Was this

01:28:01.520 American dude

01:28:03.000 Decided

01:28:04.000 No 1.00

01:28:04.540 Fuck that 1.00

01:28:05.200 I'm so full of myself 1.00

01:28:06.880 That I want to be 1.00

01:28:07.820 The first penis 1.00

01:28:08.540 In this museum 1.00

01:28:09.160 So I'm gonna have 1.00

01:28:09.700 My penis 1.00

01:28:10.240 Surgically removed 1.00

01:28:12.120 And attached

01:28:13.520 To this plaque 0.94

01:28:14.640 With a boner 0.97

01:28:17.480 And with a tattoo 0.96

01:28:18.540 Of the American flag

01:28:19.980 On it

01:28:20.420 I'm not making this up

01:28:22.720 This is what this guy

01:28:23.480 Wanted to do

01:28:24.000 In this movie

01:28:24.760 I'm not trying

01:28:26.340 I mean I'm just telling you

01:28:27.240 I won't tell you

01:28:28.060 How the movie ends

01:28:28.720 Go watch the movie

01:28:29.500 It's insane

01:28:30.220 I'm not gonna watch it

01:28:32.420 I'm not watching it

01:28:33.140 Wait wait is this a true story

01:28:35.440 Yeah it's a documentary

01:28:37.100 Yeah

01:28:37.840 Did it end with him 1.00

01:28:40.120 Cutting his dick off 1.00

01:28:41.000 The final member 1.00

01:28:42.160 How does it end

01:28:43.560 Do you want me to actually tell you

01:28:45.940 Yes

01:28:46.620 We very much said that 0.99

01:28:48.040 We don't give a shit 0.99

01:28:48.880 We're never gonna fucking watch this 0.99

01:28:50.220 Alright well 0.98

01:28:51.560 I think the guy

01:28:53.520 Doesn't actually wind up

01:28:54.580 Having it surgically removed yet

01:28:55.940 Which is unfortunate

01:28:56.660 Because he should 0.99

01:28:57.580 You don't even fucking know 1.00

01:28:59.220 After all that fucking build up 1.00

01:29:00.800 You guys really want me to tell you 0.99

01:29:02.300 He didn't want to tell us the end

01:29:03.620 Because he just doesn't know

01:29:04.740 I don't really remember

01:29:05.980 I didn't think you guys

01:29:07.420 Would actually

01:29:08.040 I thought I'd be cooler

01:29:09.100 Now he's just

01:29:09.760 Making up the end

01:29:10.540 Go ahead let him make it up

01:29:11.440 And I hope you go home

01:29:13.160 And I'm best

01:29:13.740 The ending is this

01:29:15.640 Dramatic like reveal

01:29:17.040 Of like

01:29:17.500 Here comes the jar 1.00

01:29:18.560 Like whose penis 1.00

01:29:19.400 Is it gonna be 1.00

01:29:20.000 And it's like this

01:29:20.680 Withered like old thing

01:29:22.240 And you're like

01:29:22.580 Oh alright

01:29:23.020 It's the old

01:29:23.720 Icelandic guy

01:29:24.980 But he was the guy

01:29:25.540 You were rooting for the whole time

01:29:26.820 Man

01:29:27.020 Because the American dude 1.00

01:29:28.700 Is like such an asshole 1.00

01:29:29.800 Sometimes your stories 1.00

01:29:30.660 Make me mad

01:29:31.180 Here I got a quick story

01:29:32.820 For you guys

01:29:32.960 That's the movie

01:29:33.600 So you know the

01:29:34.840 Telepathy tapes

01:29:35.840 That got popularized

01:29:37.200 About six weeks ago

01:29:38.840 Because of Rogan

01:29:39.300 Grifting really hard

01:29:40.200 Off them right now

01:29:40.740 Yeah

01:29:40.940 Yeah okay

01:29:41.680 So it became

01:29:43.680 A big deal

01:29:44.460 Because these came out

01:29:45.980 Late last year

01:29:46.720 And then they were like

01:29:47.720 Republished because

01:29:48.640 They started to get talked about

01:29:49.780 On different podcasts

01:29:50.600 And then about six weeks ago

01:29:52.100 Rogan brings it up

01:29:53.020 And then he has

01:29:53.520 The lady on the show

01:29:54.320 It obviously becomes

01:29:55.640 A national

01:29:56.460 You know

01:29:56.900 Mini story

01:29:57.600 So

01:29:59.740 We've all been talking about it

01:30:01.920 I posted about it

01:30:02.840 It went super viral 0.99

01:30:03.580 Fucking Ian Carroll 0.99

01:30:04.360 Is not talking about it 0.99

01:30:05.260 NDS guys have been

01:30:06.140 Talking about it

01:30:06.640 For four weeks now

01:30:07.320 Yeah we got

01:30:07.840 Levitating retards 1.00

01:30:08.760 Or some shit 0.99

01:30:09.260 Yeah yeah yeah 0.96

01:30:09.780 Yeah yeah

01:30:10.680 So it's not about

01:30:11.540 This is not about

01:30:12.140 The telepathy tapes

01:30:12.920 This is about the

01:30:13.760 Unbelievable

01:30:15.160 Delusions of grandeur

01:30:17.460 That the NDS boys

01:30:18.620 Are functioning with

01:30:19.380 They are adamant

01:30:21.000 They are adamant

01:30:23.340 That Ian Carroll

01:30:24.640 Watched our episode

01:30:26.200 Of Dangerous Retards 0.98

01:30:27.220 You know two weeks ago

01:30:28.520 Where they kind of

01:30:29.340 Lay out their thesis

01:30:30.200 As to what they believe

01:30:31.800 And I'm not going to 0.98

01:30:32.400 Fucking spoiler alert 0.98

01:30:33.480 I'm not going to do 0.98

01:30:34.080 Any spoilers

01:30:34.560 So don't worry about it

01:30:35.840 You might as well

01:30:36.440 I'm never going to

01:30:37.060 Probably check it out

01:30:37.800 You should watch it

01:30:39.280 I'm sure

01:30:39.920 I'm sure it's great

01:30:41.380 I just don't really

01:30:42.400 Care enough about

01:30:43.300 This

01:30:43.620 They gave a cliff notes

01:30:44.280 Of their thesis

01:30:45.160 On Dangerous

01:30:46.480 And it was

01:30:46.960 It was compelling

01:30:47.820 It was very interesting

01:30:48.640 But then

01:30:49.400 Then Ian Carroll

01:30:51.000 Comes out with an episode

01:30:52.060 They go

01:30:52.540 We're going to do a series

01:30:53.620 And I go

01:30:54.000 Yo you guys should do

01:30:54.720 A series called

01:30:55.240 Debunking the telepathy tapes

01:30:56.640 I'm telling you

01:30:57.460 That's algorithmic gold

01:30:58.660 I said this to them

01:30:59.560 Ten days ago or whatever

01:31:00.420 It's like algorithmic gold

01:31:01.560 I promise you it'll go viral

01:31:02.580 They drag their feet

01:31:04.500 Because they're doing

01:31:05.100 All sorts of 1.00

01:31:05.600 Fuck it 1.00

01:31:05.820 They do a hundred shows a week 1.00

01:31:07.020 So they can't fucking 0.96

01:31:07.680 Possibly get to this right away 0.92

01:31:08.800 So they delay a few days

01:31:10.080 And then Ian Carroll

01:31:11.040 Comes out with an expose

01:31:12.040 That's like an hour long

01:31:13.100 Or whatever

01:31:13.440 And they go 0.99

01:31:14.360 Ian fucking Carroll 0.99

01:31:16.080 Stole our idea 0.99

01:31:17.520 He watched Dangerous Retards 1.00

01:31:19.240 And he stole

01:31:20.340 Our idea

01:31:21.700 And he's like

01:31:22.420 He's like

01:31:22.920 Eighty percent of the way there

01:31:24.360 But he's not all the way there

01:31:25.500 Clint

01:31:25.740 But you know what 0.99

01:31:26.740 He fucking stole the idea 0.98

01:31:28.640 From us 1.00

01:31:29.100 And then they go

01:31:30.180 They go

01:31:30.700 Clint you gotta retweet this

01:31:32.060 Because he's stealing our thunder

01:31:33.960 You gotta get it out

01:31:35.400 In front of everybody

01:31:36.120 Before Ian Carroll

01:31:36.960 I'm like

01:31:37.280 Do you have any idea

01:31:38.600 What you're saying right now

01:31:39.660 This is a huge story

01:31:41.040 That everybody's talking about

01:31:42.240 And you think that

01:31:43.240 Ian Carroll

01:31:44.060 Sat down and watched

01:31:45.180 Dangerous Retards 1.00

01:31:46.200 For two hours

01:31:46.780 It was pretty deranged

01:31:47.660 I heard one of them

01:31:48.380 Going on about like

01:31:49.280 And apparently

01:31:50.280 I guess maybe

01:31:51.460 We're just

01:31:51.860 Maybe we're thinking

01:31:52.760 Like it was almost

01:31:53.760 Like they're framing

01:31:54.400 Like it was crazy

01:31:55.440 That they could have

01:31:56.040 Like happened upon

01:31:56.840 The same concept

01:31:57.820 And like got interested

01:31:58.820 I was like

01:31:59.200 This is a big story

01:32:00.580 That everyone's talking about

01:32:01.620 Especially in the conspiracy realm

01:32:03.480 Like I'm sure you found it 0.99

01:32:04.820 In some fucking viral location 0.99

01:32:06.620 He probably found it 0.99

01:32:07.540 In some other viral

01:32:08.280 Like oh here's a viral post

01:32:09.480 For this

01:32:09.760 And you were like

01:32:10.340 Oh here's a viral post

01:32:11.260 And then

01:32:11.700 Top goes 0.99

01:32:12.500 Clint you need to fucking 0.99

01:32:13.620 DM Ian Carroll 0.99

01:32:14.620 And tell him to come on

01:32:15.640 Dangerous

01:32:16.000 Or on NDS

01:32:17.000 Tell him to go 1.00

01:32:17.340 Fuck himself 1.00

01:32:18.120 Give me my fucking credit 1.00

01:32:21.380 This is after he's already 1.00

01:32:22.540 Fucking quote tweeted 0.99

01:32:23.480 Ian going 1.00

01:32:23.940 This guy's stealing our fucking shit 1.00

01:32:25.720 And I go 1.00

01:32:26.400 What are you doing

01:32:27.380 And then he goes

01:32:28.480 Then he tells me 0.99

01:32:29.560 Ian fucking follows him 0.99

01:32:31.000 And he goes 0.99

01:32:32.100 I've already DMed Ian

01:32:33.400 To come on the show

01:32:34.160 And I was like 0.99

01:32:34.660 So what the fuck am I doing 0.98

01:32:36.000 Why do I have to DM Ian Carroll 0.99

01:32:37.760 And tell him to come on the show

01:32:38.720 You have him

01:32:39.660 You have gravitas

01:32:40.420 You have gravitas buddy

01:32:41.880 It's just like

01:32:42.640 I mean

01:32:43.160 It was just so frustrating

01:32:44.400 But anyways

01:32:45.080 Long story short

01:32:46.080 I'm impressed

01:32:47.340 Honestly

01:32:48.020 This is my honest conclusion

01:32:49.660 I am impressed

01:32:51.000 With their level

01:32:51.920 Of narcissism

01:32:53.180 And illusions of grandeur

01:32:54.360 It's amazing

01:32:56.000 They're like manifest reality

01:32:57.620 Yeah

01:32:58.080 These dudes think 1.00

01:32:59.480 That they're the fucking 1.00

01:33:00.220 They're the biggest show 1.00

01:33:01.580 In the world

01:33:02.640 Case study

01:33:03.180 It's amazing

01:33:04.120 You know I'm sponsoring

01:33:05.580 Baby boy

01:33:06.800 Case study on this

01:33:09.620 And I think they're going to be

01:33:10.540 Successful because of that

01:33:11.640 So I just wanted to end with it

01:33:12.700 Case study on this

01:33:13.720 Is Raven thinking

01:33:14.700 He can beat me

01:33:15.340 In a bodybuilding competition

01:33:16.560 See this is

01:33:17.420 This is as delusional

01:33:19.960 As thinking that Ian Carroll

01:33:21.160 And every day

01:33:22.500 He posts a picture

01:33:23.340 And every day 1.00

01:33:23.840 I fucking mog his ass 1.00

01:33:25.060 Every day 1.00

01:33:26.060 Your body looks twice as big as his

01:33:28.040 And every day

01:33:29.260 He pretends as if

01:33:30.160 Like no I'm going to win today

01:33:31.240 It's like

01:33:31.660 I mean these guys

01:33:32.360 The only way that he wins 0.99

01:33:33.380 Is if the blind gay judge of this 1.00

01:33:35.680 Like grabs his penis 1.00

01:33:37.020 Yeah 1.00

01:33:37.520 It's the only way

01:33:38.200 He's probably

01:33:39.020 By the way

01:33:39.340 The funniest part about this

01:33:40.600 Is Toad having zero

01:33:42.460 We talked about it

01:33:44.100 On our show

01:33:44.720 Multiple times

01:33:45.660 I want to say

01:33:46.180 And Toad still being like

01:33:47.940 Y'all are doing an MMA fight

01:33:49.480 Right

01:33:49.700 And we're like

01:33:50.240 No we're not fighting

01:33:52.120 We're not

01:33:52.860 Honestly

01:33:53.800 I think that Toad

01:33:55.260 Is constantly processing

01:33:56.560 Sports losses in his brain

01:33:58.100 So he doesn't really process

01:33:59.480 What we're saying to him

01:34:00.400 At all

01:34:00.940 Ever

01:34:01.240 I can't believe Ray Rice

01:34:01.840 Converted that fourth and 29

01:34:03.600 See what I'm saying

01:34:04.240 Like this is all he's doing

01:34:05.400 All the time

01:34:05.500 He didn't even do it

01:34:06.660 It's all the time

01:34:08.500 Going back

01:34:09.140 Going back

01:34:10.040 Like eight nine years ago

01:34:11.620 To games

01:34:12.260 By the way

01:34:13.160 I was at that game

01:34:13.920 That was like two decades

01:34:14.680 Probably

01:34:14.940 That was against the Chargers

01:34:16.020 That was in San Diego 0.99

01:34:17.240 That fucking broke my heart dude 0.99

01:34:18.860 Yeah 0.99

01:34:19.480 It was the worst loss

01:34:21.160 Of all time

01:34:21.640 I think

01:34:22.160 No I think Raven wins this one 1.00

01:34:23.760 Shut the fuck up 1.00

01:34:24.620 You're looking a little fat there 1.00

01:34:27.880 You're looking a little doughy 0.90

01:34:28.720 He looks

01:34:29.220 He looks fine

01:34:30.200 But it's just not even close

01:34:31.820 Raven is

01:34:32.920 I'm not saying

01:34:33.920 I'm not

01:34:34.540 He might be more 0.99

01:34:35.660 Look at those little cum cutters dude 1.00

01:34:36.640 You're looking a little pudgy 0.99

01:34:37.660 What I'm saying

01:34:38.680 Yes you're right

01:34:39.520 He's leaner than me right now

01:34:41.320 Yeah

01:34:41.600 I have

01:34:42.380 He's catching up to your bulk

01:34:43.560 Your bulk's not looking

01:34:44.460 No he's not

01:34:44.940 No because he's not bulking

01:34:45.960 That's just fat dude 0.81

01:34:46.920 That's just fat

01:34:47.700 He's not bulking 0.93

01:34:48.740 I think it's just your fat 0.55

01:34:49.400 Why do you have so many of these 0.81

01:34:51.040 Cole has more fat

01:34:54.060 And more muscle

01:34:54.480 Bring up my file

01:34:55.460 But the thing is

01:34:56.880 I'm cutting down

01:34:57.860 I'm cutting down

01:35:00.080 So I'm getting leaner

01:35:00.880 He's also trying to get leaner

01:35:03.020 So

01:35:03.280 It's going to be hard

01:35:05.240 I mean

01:35:05.500 I've

01:35:05.880 Just got below 170

01:35:07.580 I know you are

01:35:08.260 What I like about your body right now Cole 0.99

01:35:09.820 That's a gay sentence 1.00

01:35:10.640 That's a gay way to start a sentence 1.00

01:35:11.740 Doesn't matter 0.94

01:35:12.180 Love it

01:35:12.420 Is that you have

01:35:13.680 You have the

01:35:14.460 The lines of muscle

01:35:15.860 Underneath the pectoral

01:35:16.940 You know what I'm talking about

01:35:18.220 Yeah yeah yeah

01:35:18.600 The sides here

01:35:19.540 I like that 1.00

01:35:20.480 Makes my dick hard 1.00

01:35:21.100 Oh no 1.00

01:35:22.100 You know what 0.95

01:35:22.800 That was the gay part 1.00

01:35:23.660 That was the gay part 1.00

01:35:24.280 When you make your dick hard 1.00

01:35:25.140 I do have really small hands 1.00

01:35:27.420 I like to think about it 0.95

01:35:27.780 That was pretty gay 1.00

01:35:28.440 It was funny 0.62

01:35:28.800 A guy

01:35:30.000 That's in my gym

01:35:30.400 Five six monstrosity

01:35:31.380 Mogging five four manlet

01:35:33.320 Exactly dude

01:35:34.700 That's exactly what's happening here

01:35:36.500 I messaged the group chat last night

01:35:39.340 And I was like

01:35:39.740 It looks like we're in like

01:35:40.920 A battle to the death

01:35:41.920 To be the world's strongest midget 1.00

01:35:43.080 Like that's

01:35:43.820 And it's

01:35:44.700 Or

01:35:45.140 Or you guys are courting each other 1.00

01:35:46.520 For anal sex 1.00

01:35:47.100 Publicly 1.00

01:35:47.740 Do you think of how cool

01:35:48.780 We're going to look

01:35:49.440 If once we all get like

01:35:50.740 If we do go get full time 1.00

01:35:52.120 On this shit 1.00

01:35:52.480 And like all we do is 1.00

01:35:53.380 Podcast and work out

01:35:54.560 And we're all just yoked

01:35:55.820 But then we're all little

01:35:58.000 So we're in a group

01:35:58.860 It's like tall Clint

01:36:00.140 And just a bunch of yoked

01:36:01.460 Little guys with him

01:36:02.640 Like it's like

01:36:04.120 We're like Clint's 1.00

01:36:04.940 Like Clint's fucking bodyguards 1.00

01:36:06.380 Like his weird short little bodyguards 1.00

01:36:08.220 I have the perfect

01:36:08.900 That sounds amazing

01:36:09.720 I have the perfect 0.99

01:36:10.260 Stop being fake and gay 1.00

01:36:12.020 Can the gay guys 1.00

01:36:14.100 Still kill me up though 1.00

01:36:15.000 That sounds amazing

01:36:15.020 I'm telling you

01:36:15.400 Like if we

01:36:16.220 If we can do that

01:36:17.460 If you guys can all get 1.00

01:36:18.620 Super fucking jacked 1.00

01:36:20.140 I will 1.00

01:36:20.680 I'll grow out my beard 0.99

01:36:22.040 I'll fucking 0.99

01:36:22.580 I'll turn it gray 1.00

01:36:23.420 I'll become Gandalf 1.00

01:36:24.400 I'll fucking get a staff 1.00

01:36:25.880 And shit 0.99

01:36:26.280 It'll be awesome 0.99

01:36:27.120 This is

01:36:27.760 Hobbits

01:36:28.540 Yeah

01:36:28.800 Oh where's that 0.99

01:36:29.520 Where's that fucking picture at 1.00

01:36:30.700 Dude that was the gayest 1.00

01:36:32.420 Comment ever 0.79

01:36:33.440 Someone said 1.00

01:36:34.320 Why are your fucking shorts on 1.00

01:36:35.520 In that picture 1.00

01:36:36.440 It's like

01:36:36.880 Calm down

01:36:37.920 Yeah

01:36:38.660 Oh yeah dude

01:36:40.240 I love

01:36:40.600 That's one of my group chats

01:36:42.380 That's the thing

01:36:42.940 Is like

01:36:43.480 I can't really see

01:36:44.360 The striations of your quads

01:36:45.760 Maybe if you took your shorts

01:36:46.700 I told him

01:36:47.340 I was like

01:36:47.540 I'm gonna do a glutes spread

01:36:48.840 I'm gonna do glutes spread

01:36:49.820 Oh oops 1.00

01:36:51.220 I just saw your testicles 1.00

01:36:52.700 Might as well show me your dick now 1.00

01:36:54.180 Can I see your upper hammy 1.00

01:36:55.720 Share my screen

01:36:57.060 Share my screen

01:36:57.700 Because

01:36:58.600 This is what it's gonna be like

01:37:00.780 Whenever

01:37:01.160 We're all yoked

01:37:02.760 And then

01:37:03.140 Oh

01:37:04.420 See if I can bring this up bigger

01:37:06.500 That's great

01:37:10.040 It's gonna be

01:37:11.920 With Brian Shaw

01:37:13.220 Me and my little guys

01:37:14.980 That's good

01:37:17.480 That's

01:37:18.320 You got

01:37:18.980 There's Jose

01:37:19.720 There's

01:37:21.180 There's me

01:37:21.960 And there's

01:37:22.640 There's Top

01:37:23.960 And then there's Clint

01:37:25.740 Where am I?

01:37:29.800 Am I dead?

01:37:30.960 Yeah you're not even in this

01:37:32.100 Yeah you're never

01:37:32.660 You're never getting big

01:37:34.200 Dude that is crazy by the way

01:37:36.980 Brian Shaw is a 0.99

01:37:37.940 Fucking huge man 0.99

01:37:39.460 Like he's standing next to those 1.00

01:37:41.080 The bodybuilders

01:37:42.660 And just dominating them

01:37:44.100 That's

01:37:45.500 Now that's

01:37:46.580 Mogging

01:37:47.120 Yeah 1.00

01:37:47.880 Fucking 0.99

01:37:50.260 David doesn't even touch above the 1.00

01:37:51.920 Fucking 50's 0.97

01:37:52.900 Well alright guys 0.99

01:37:54.040 You uh

01:37:54.460 What do you guys think?

01:37:55.380 You guys ready to get out of here?

01:37:56.680 Toad

01:37:57.200 Do you wanna tell people

01:37:58.100 Where they can find your show at?

01:37:59.440 No

01:37:59.600 Well I also wanna ask 0.85

01:38:00.620 Because pee pee poo poo man 1.00

01:38:02.020 Because

01:38:03.060 What did you say

01:38:04.080 Was your bet tonight?

01:38:06.060 Yeah what was your bet?

01:38:07.200 Yeah

01:38:07.420 How did

01:38:07.840 Like so

01:38:08.320 Is it still going right now?

01:38:09.580 Probably

01:38:09.980 Can you tell us what the score is?

01:38:12.440 Yeah

01:38:12.800 What do you think?

Tower Gang - April 01, 2025

Ep 222 - Coward Gang

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