Tower Gang - Ep 37 - Super Soaker w⧸ Libertarian Friendship Simulator

00:00:00.000 happening now what's up retards the funniest 9-11 jokes were written on 9-12 women jerk off 1.00

00:00:05.360 dicks like fucking they're an unruly ferret yeah you ever had a 9-11 cocktail it's in manhattan 0.99

00:00:12.700 with two kamikazes you see the socialists don't have an accurate answer for this and she needs 1.00

00:00:19.640 to account for it white women must be stopped that's right what yeah we can stay horny and 1.00

00:00:27.360 retarded longer than she can stay sane what your ass ass to penis ratio maybe you could say we had 1.00

00:00:34.160 sex but we didn't fuck oh jesus fat dave fuck you man 1.00

00:00:41.040 oh yeah what a fucking intro 1.00

00:00:47.400 that's that's some dicky walnuts actually fuck your mouth are into mario's song 1.00

00:00:54.880 welcome to the fucking worst on ip oh wait 1.00

00:00:58.640 we have a true crossover here today with the libertarian friendship simulator or stimulator 0.99

00:01:09.980 dudes derek davey and i guess their intern dude yeah he's on here yeah he's our house nigga 0.92

00:01:16.420 that's right flint flint's new crew yeah no but we've uh we've we're glad to have flint on board 0.85

00:01:24.420 on board our little team of fucking uh i don't even know what we're doing but no he's not afraid 0.95

00:01:29.860 to say anything he's been on pbs i'm gonna give you a little fucking intro flint flint's been on 0.98

00:01:34.000 fucking pbs and uh he's he's threatened to kill a journalist and then he got covered on pbs where 0.95

00:01:40.660 he was going to do a drive-by on a journalist and he was asking he actually invented the drive-bys 1.00

00:01:45.160 yeah he was asking this uh fucking chomo or some fucking cholo on his fucking show i like 1.00

00:01:51.220 trying to break into prison to yeah and fucking kill and rape journalists hell yeah dude yeah and 1.00

00:01:57.080 that's actually all completely true it sounds like a joke it is true well this is a little weird 0.99

00:02:02.180 because you're talking about somebody who's not only your intern but is the one that's involved

00:02:05.960 in all these drive-bys and clearly based on the way that you look right now all of that i would 0.98

00:02:10.260 guess would be david because he's the one that looks like a nigger so 1.00

00:02:12.640 always in the lurking no we were saying this before is like he's the house nigger 1.00

00:02:21.260 well derek was like davy right now looks like that guy that needs a voice modulator and he's like 0.97

00:02:26.720 getting interviewed by like the news but i was like oh yeah he's just the pedophile that's getting

00:02:31.280 interviewed you're not allowed to say that it's like the worst thing you could possibly call

00:02:37.080 someone like it's not even a joke in our circles anymore like you can't that is literally the

00:02:41.580 only taboo thing is this one big like chris hansen fest like sit down we'd like to speak with you

00:02:49.400 sit down on my car why are you here he's he's the one who was the victim of a pedophile where now he's 0.75

00:02:54.940 you know trying to be anonymous and doesn't want the pedophile to come after him again now that he's

00:02:59.380 of age but he needs a voice modulator was it a davy doesn't even do okay so this is a very funny 1.00

00:03:06.620 thing oh you know what fuck you derek i started doing cardio this week suck i've been lifting weights 1.00

00:03:12.020 lifting all i can pick up like at least i've been lifting weights and doing cardio so suck my dick 1.00

00:03:19.080 dude i lift weights every day i gotta pick up my dick out of my bed when in the morning 1.00

00:03:22.660 throw that bitch over my shoulder doing squats man 1.00

00:03:25.600 that sounds uncomfortable that's just a shitty life dude wait where the fuck is nick is nick not on 1.00

00:03:33.180 the stream you thought nick was on every episode are you talking about nick individual should we 0.99

00:03:39.500 dress should we dress actually yeah what can we post yeah where's that guy where's the fucking truck 0.97

00:03:44.320 driver and where's all the celebrities 1.00

00:03:47.580 look at that soulless looking oh my god he was just like dead just dead inside like fuck me 0.99

00:03:58.580 i guess just so people know what did i get into tower gang podcast 1.00

00:04:04.200 about two a lot of homos i saw an episode i thought wow that's a lot of homos 1.00

00:04:09.680 but two weeks two weeks ago nick did uh tell us that he was leaving the show but we didn't know

00:04:14.680 whether he should like announce it or if it was going to be like a permanent thing because he is

00:04:18.560 still welcome on the show whenever he wants which it seems like it doesn't really change that much

00:04:23.380 he was like jesus they say the n word a lot 0.98

00:04:34.100 uh people or no we have like was 30 hosts his name is nick why would you think that he fucking 0.93

00:04:41.860 cares about the n word well anyway his name is actually nicker so it's oh okay nick's just for

00:04:49.340 short okay yeah it's just nick for short okay got it ends in the chat

00:04:54.220 welcome on the show nick is allowed on the show wait is this live yeah are we recording oh we

00:05:03.440 didn't recording this whole time yes oh my god i love the mic etiquette we have going here

00:05:10.540 desperate forward boys

00:05:12.140 everyone talking about i'm out and post right 0.89

00:05:16.880 yeah we totally edit and shit yeah we totally yeah do we guys want the editing is you just need 1.00

00:05:24.820 to go shut the fuck up oh bad davis frozen time oh my really fucking it was bad fucking up 1.00

00:05:33.360 this is why i turned off the camera yeah we ran the only black guy off the show that is true 1.00

00:05:39.440 nick nick was the nicker of the show it's okay i'm gonna keep these property values up dude 1.00

00:05:46.160 hey shut the fuck up 1.00

00:05:47.740 did you guys did any of you guys here see the fucking magical race war that happened between 1.00

00:05:54.160 the blacks and the indians i think it was actually fat dave that showed it yes it was yeah they were 0.99

00:05:58.360 talking about it over the day yeah it was the greatest oh at a fucking restaurant like my best 0.99

00:06:02.540 friend my best friend's a black dude i showed him he was like me and we're both just like cracking 0.99

00:06:05.760 up about different shit it was the most racist shit in the world but it was amazing because it was 0.99

00:06:09.920 somebody uh quote tweeted some fucking indian uh dance club and said you know some black dude's 1.00

00:06:15.000 like you know it smells like shit in there and then everybody everybody let you get all these 1.00

00:06:20.400 indians freaking out like you fucking niggers 1.00

00:06:23.000 it was so much minority like fucking like colored people on colored people racism is the funniest 1.00

00:06:31.940 fucking racism on the internet like if you ever go to like um go to like twitter like there's a 1.00

00:06:38.580 there's a corner of blessed corner of black people twitter where it's just like haitians 1.00

00:06:43.440 shitting on like other haitians and then like haitians and they're like african guys shitting 1.00

00:06:48.920 on like african-american guys like calling them pussies this kind of stuff dude if you want to see 1.00

00:06:56.420 some fucking some yellow on yellow violence go to any asian and talk about another like asian race 1.00

00:07:02.220 like don't talk about fucking koreans with japanese or my grandma will go off dude that shit is 1.00

00:07:06.860 fucking hilarious they're like those guys are fucking dirty which one are you again 1.00

00:07:10.440 um it doesn't matter i'm a chain tongue bro here's a good example of what i'm talking about 0.99

00:07:15.780 that thread i'm gonna go ahead and read an indian accent because the only way it makes sense to me 1.00

00:07:20.080 you niggers are dirty apes you deserve to go back into the cotton field slave i will rape your 1.00

00:07:26.360 girlfriend too don't speak bad in my india energy all through that entire tweet thread it was 1.00

00:07:34.660 fucking beautiful i mean you shit in the streets bro aren't retarded 1.00

00:07:38.000 that was like i i quote tweeted it with um how fuck now i just went blank on what i quote tweeted 1.00

00:07:49.260 with i just know that god damn it i did quote tweet it and it actually did take off oh i said uh tech 0.87

00:07:55.420 support is no longer available in harlem and like that kind of took off like twitter 0.75

00:08:01.240 like 500 likes oh my god one of you guys needs to bring up and screen share that little indian 0.99

00:08:08.660 kid he's like i don't associate with niggers that was the one that took off like big time 1.00

00:08:15.400 if you send me the link i can probably do oh yeah someone said it had 20 000 quote tweets yeah it 0.95

00:08:21.920 was it was wild it was amazing were the black people like throwing racial slurs back at them

00:08:27.480 and calling the indian people oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah it was a whole lot of racial slurs 0.59

00:08:31.860 each other it was beautiful i loved it yeah because they're always stealing from their 7-elevens and 0.99

00:08:38.720 shit yeah yeah indians were like going for the throat but i feel like the blacks were like were 1.00

00:08:46.120 being funny with it and just like kind of playing with them but like the indians didn't get and they 1.00

00:08:50.120 were fucking ruthless i'll fucking kill you 1.00

00:08:52.220 of course it takes no time for indian people just to pull out the racial slurs like you literally 1.00

00:09:01.780 just like just a little bit they're just like i got one for you uh if you ever want to insult an

00:09:08.200 indian person you know how they had their caste system at the very their nigger is uh dilete you 1.00

00:09:13.640 call them a dilete it's the lowest of the low write it down the book spell that so i can tweet 0.98

00:09:18.220 it i think it's like d-l-i-h-t or some shit i don't know it's not an english word so you can't 0.98

00:09:22.880 that's the cat people that sell shit right isn't that what that is yeah so it's it's like the 0.99

00:09:27.140 unvaccinated people in the u.s well i don't even i don't even talk to the uh the fucking indians 1.00

00:09:35.120 because they just smell too bad i just don't even get close to them 1.00

00:09:37.420 i like indians now yeah i'm pro indian yeah dude the people at your fucking jobs on base 1.00

00:09:46.920 america's pussies we're just a bunch of fucking retards like at least they're retarded but they 1.00

00:09:52.720 like have like an air of masculinity about it they're like oh you're gonna make fun of us 1.00

00:09:57.920 all right here we go all right we're gonna bring up all this shit all right we're gonna develop 0.96

00:10:02.400 entire universities and systems of schooling for our fucking graduates that all the whole 0.99

00:10:07.460 fucking system is all to how to lie on a fucking uh job application and get any job get an american 1.00

00:10:15.100 to hire you as whatever bro you still fucking shit in the streets you fucking aids written douchebags 1.00

00:10:21.160 so wait so wait so when we say that indians fucking get i'm getting mad about a person who's not in the 1.00

00:10:27.400 room do indian people smell the worst are they on the bottom of the tier list because brandon just 1.00

00:10:34.200 brought up we need a race smell tier list asap depends on what you define bottom or top as you

00:10:38.900 know i guess brandon i thought also the whole smell thing i don't know the bottom of the pyramid i

00:10:45.600 could smell the most or a baby girl you smell so good you smell like they probably think it smells 0.99

00:10:52.160 awesome or just like yeah just like spiced shit and piss like the stink like what if you ask a 0.99

00:11:00.020 german person like that's the worst i love that yeah it's it's very subjective that's true so if 1.00

00:11:06.840 you like the smell of it's all but at the same time uh at the same time how come like jabs don't 1.00

00:11:12.520 just smell like wasabi shit oh they don't just smell like fucking fish yeah i was saying they smell 0.99

00:11:18.360 like fish why do any people just smell like their food do they just like eat it like a baby 1.00

00:11:22.400 and it just like i gotta give it to this dude it takes an industrious people to build an entire 1.00

00:11:27.640 society out of shit that's pretty good that's pretty good dude bro indian are you fucking indian bro 1.00

00:11:33.500 are you fucking indian and you're fucking in this chat bro i'll fight you through the internet 1.00

00:11:39.520 well the difference the asians man they can't get along i think the difference is that india is a 1.00

00:11:44.320 third world country but i don't know because then you get the indian people over here and they 0.99

00:11:47.920 still smell like that combination of cigarette smoke curry and shit so i have no idea 0.99

00:11:53.800 maybe without the shit i don't know yeah there's probably a fucking uh we gotta look at i'm gonna 0.99

00:12:01.300 look up like indian uh perfumes or like what's what's like worse the pungent smell of indian people 1.00

00:12:11.080 or the pungent smell of like the pakistani people that like wear a ton of cologne like it's an insane 0.99

00:12:16.580 amount of cologne that it's just overpowering i think the cologne might even be worse even though 0.98

00:12:20.920 it's a better smelling thing than shit so it's just like would you rather would you would you 0.98

00:12:26.580 rather smell uh like a club on the bad side of town or would you rather smell a 7-eleven it's what 0.99

00:12:31.500 you're asking me yeah basically okay pretty much would you rather smell the hairy chest and gold chain

00:12:38.660 club with uh white track suits or would you rather smell a 7-eleven well i'm gonna get hash from

00:12:44.740 one smell and i'm gonna get a gross hot dog from another smell so i'm gonna go with hash i'm gonna

00:12:50.240 go with gross hot dogs because at least i mean i'm like i want to eat at least that's 7-eleven hot

00:12:56.040 dog has anybody ever eaten that hot dog or is it just continually rolling there since the 1994

00:13:00.560 yeah i'll eat like from some of them if they're like honestly i hate to say this but it's true

00:13:07.620 but if it's like a white owned place yeah yeah yeah

00:13:10.340 no because they'll at least switch them out like yeah you'll know that actually i don't honestly i

00:13:18.040 don't know dude you know what's really weird i like i i don't ever really think about this but

00:13:23.120 it's kind of true like any business that just like advertises the race of its owners like indians 1.00

00:13:29.320 don't actually care or do that you just know you can look at a gas station and be like india runs

00:13:34.040 that joint like 100 it's like a chinese restaurant like you know for sure like there's chinese people 0.85

00:13:40.420 you just look at it yeah is it a strip mall yeah you just fucking know yeah or like you know when 0.99

00:13:46.100 you know when the or i think it's always the mexican ones too the mexican owned like fucking 0.99

00:13:50.520 italian restaurant for some reason and you go in you're like 0.93

00:13:53.300 i went to one of those this weekend and i was just like i like i was with my in-laws and i was

00:14:03.200 like are we not concerned at all the the best italian restaurant in this like the best in this in this

00:14:09.340 city is run by a bunch of mexicans like only mexicans at all there was not one italian person in

00:14:15.180 there they were just like they've always owned it i'm like that doesn't all of gardener

00:14:19.520 i mean that's what you get in alabama but that's true that's true whatever reason it seems like i

00:14:28.740 guess it's only okay to culturally appropriate italian food and not so for like every other 0.97

00:14:34.260 cultural cuisine i'm not really sure that seems to be the case dude mexico seems like it fucking 0.98

00:14:39.440 rocks though ever since uh we talked to dan berman about this stuff because i guess he's living in 0.97

00:14:44.300 mexico fucking living the dream i'm thinking of becoming a fucking expat just moving to mexico 0.99

00:14:49.240 dude i know he only crosses the border just to fuck with people yeah mark clear from lines of 1.00

00:14:54.240 liberty i think just did that right like he was in oh did he really and i think he went back there 1.00

00:14:58.520 like he's just moving oh shit fuck california yeah no it seems sick it just seems like i don't know 0.99

00:15:04.940 like better than california here great food like property values all right like this is the life dude 1.00

00:15:09.880 i'm going to log in mexico gringos and i get to say call you motherfuckers gringos dude i'm seriously 0.99

00:15:16.320 half tempted to say fuck it and just buy some land down there just don't even have to go there yet 1.00

00:15:21.040 just like no building codes dude you just put up a house without like some fucking landlord 1.00

00:15:26.560 parenthesis in parentheses telling you to fucking tear it down or whatever 0.98

00:15:30.340 and you can live there knowing that i just want to dump my sewage directly into the river 0.98

00:15:33.980 i didn't imagine like if i need you down and down you know if you guys ever watch that that season

00:15:38.600 where he's in mexico that's what i imagine mexico is like and i'm here for it so we can only dream

00:15:43.100 we can only hope dude yeah and they're fucking cool like uh you remember uh i remember we talked

00:15:48.020 about this on our show like this is like a year ago had to have been but it was like uh uh their 0.96

00:15:52.280 may the mayor of some place in mexico like fucked up they like raise property taxes or something 0.99

00:15:57.540 they strung this motherfucker up and uh roped him behind a fucking car i don't know what they 1.00

00:16:03.620 fucking call it over there and but then just like drug him killed him drug him behind a fucking car 1.00

00:16:08.280 till he died dude that's fucking awesome allegedly like they're all fucking gangsters that is fucking 1.00

00:16:15.900 gangster dude but we if you move to mexico will you bring your intern or will they have to stay in 1.00

00:16:21.180 the states does it uh fuck yeah he's bringing the fucking intern speaking of gangster did you guys see 1.00

00:16:26.780 that shit a little bit ago there's some like photo that went viral of the taliban that like i 1.00

00:16:30.600 apparently hung some journalists that's pretty dope that's pretty fucking rad how many female 1.00

00:16:37.020 journalists were hung i'm already masturbating to this why do you think the camera's off it's not 0.99

00:16:43.320 because apparently i guess supposedly i looked into a little bit more and supposedly according to them 0.68

00:16:49.200 it wasn't a journalist although i'd be cool if it was but it supposedly was some kidnapper that they 0.98

00:16:53.920 just fucking like had been like legit kidnapping kids and shit and like sending back body parts 0.99

00:16:58.620 for ransom holy shit and so they got a hold of them are like fuck you so i don't know the more i 1.00

00:17:02.920 learned about taliban the more i'm like all right you guys are kind of dope yeah we we had that 0.99

00:17:06.560 conversation that we are pretty sure we're pro-taliban and they're pretty based yeah i haven't everybody's

00:17:11.700 just like oh they're really terrible they do terrible i'm like i still haven't heard like one thing

00:17:15.200 they've done bad since they've gotten in power like really bad jump the gun and the whole due process

00:17:20.820 thing but i don't know it's a little expedited i kind of like it did they did they drone bomb like

00:17:27.700 a car full of kids yet oh they didn't okay okay i'm sure oh no they killed the awful people in a

00:17:36.600 speedy manner oh no i mean i still like the mexico approach of dragging the politicians 0.99

00:17:42.620 through the street that seems dude that is just too too insane it's like are we just like pussies 0.99

00:17:48.440 dude yeah are we pussies i i honestly feel like we are dude like all the time yeah i see like even 1.00

00:17:54.560 australia seems like they fucking finally yeah dude you have gang smuggling and fucking kfc dude 1.00

00:18:01.460 the fucking frogs that was that was frogs in france have been uh been rioting for fucking months now 0.99

00:18:09.580 over this vaccine shit bro we're over here just like i don't know what i can do france is getting 1.00

00:18:15.500 my dick hard dude they fucking uh there's a dude from like a random crowd that just slapped the fuck 1.00

00:18:20.780 out of the president just slapped him oh yeah like a fucking holy shit and he was like no no it's fine 1.00

00:18:26.020 guys i deserved it like fuck yeah you did he said that what a bitch what a punk bitch someone dinged 1.00

00:18:33.740 him with an egg i think recently like the past few days i saw some shit on twitter about that it's 1.00

00:18:37.460 pretty dope fuck yeah he'd be a bottom in prison for sure what was the uh was the one of the um 0.99

00:18:45.580 the guy running and punching the cop was that in australia or in um no australia that was a 0.99

00:18:52.480 fucking base i think i was pretty baller too yeah i will say i'm more on the side that i don't know 0.91

00:18:58.540 how constructive that is i mean obviously depends on the situation there's a whole whole bunch but 1.00

00:19:02.820 it is fucking awesome whether it's constructive or not it's still like all right fuck fuck those pigs 0.99

00:19:07.100 but like i mean because we've had talks about this about like how much does protests really work and 1.00

00:19:12.320 then how are they gonna like say something like that they might use it to fuck you over to be like 0.72

00:19:16.680 give you a reason like look at these heathens now we need to crack down more i'm not saying we should 0.99

00:19:21.020 be you should be bitches and like you know and i know some people were saying they were blocking like 1.00

00:19:25.580 you know access to like shit you needed so i mean there is a certain point where like all right well 1.00

00:19:30.080 fuck you uh well we're gonna fuck you up so i don't know i mean i haven't been following it closely 1.00

00:19:34.700 enough to have a clear idea of how i feel about it but for the most part fuck pigs so i don't know at the 1.00

00:19:39.460 same time it's always cool whether it's productive or not because it's like like real talk like for 0.98

00:19:44.460 real like this is honestly what i think and but it's like they will give you just enough rope

00:19:50.440 like to hang yourself with you know just enough freedom where you're actually uh kind of going

00:19:56.580 along with it you know yeah and not complaining and still being productive and you know generating 0.96

00:20:02.740 revenue for them to fucking take from you and it's like yeah i don't know like our government is 0.91

00:20:09.340 almost like smart when it comes to that like just avoiding outright conflict i don't know maybe 0.96

00:20:16.600 it's just the propaganda is so fucking good but it's like you just barely get anything and it's 0.83

00:20:20.720 like everything cool that seems to happen here that's like a right like we're actually rising up 0.99

00:20:25.660 against something even at all uh is always a fucking op and it's fake as shit yeah i've been thinking a lot 0.95

00:20:32.780 lately about the whole uh mlk malcolm x dichotomy and how like if you look through history and how 0.98

00:20:37.960 like we look at it i mean i don't i'm not an expert on either of these guys i actually been

00:20:42.620 meaning to do a deep dive on them for a while but you know we look back at mlk and like you know

00:20:46.920 everyone loves mlk the establishment we have a fucking federal holiday for mlk but then like 0.90

00:20:52.580 got away with a lottery no no you mean you mean uh robert e lee day that's actually what it is 0.99

00:20:58.460 and then fucking but then then x malcolm x doesn't get shit and i actually think we're probably 0.98

00:21:02.940 they probably the the gains that they got in the civil rights movement were probably 0.99

00:21:06.620 in a lot of ways more due to malcolm than they were to fucking the mlk my personal opinion from 0.70

00:21:11.660 what i understand of the situation and what malcolm malcolm wasn't even really like being like hey go 1.00

00:21:17.620 fucking attack the state he was more just like keep a piece on you if they fuck with you fuck with 1.00

00:21:22.340 them right back uh let's create our own separate economy and they can eat a dick and like and be 1.00

00:21:27.460 self-reliant that's kind of what he was pushing and uh fucking mlk was you wanted a nation state 0.99

00:21:32.460 yeah yeah and then mlk was more begging for fucking acceptance like oh let us be with you and malcolm's 1.00

00:21:38.420 like fuck you so and it's funny how you look how we look at these two now and it's kind of like maybe 0.99

00:21:44.140 there's a reason why there's a negative stigma with x and like maybe there's something not in the 0.99

00:21:49.420 black community though which is pretty baller actually really i really like malcolm x yeah which

00:21:54.900 no i saw i saw you tweet about this the other day i thought it was awesome because like um it i mean

00:21:59.060 so in uh the establishment like they praise uh martin luther king jr because he was so peaceful

00:22:04.320 and they always focus about oh malcolm x was a black supremacist yeah for like the first half of his life 0.97

00:22:09.660 like he was a black supremacist and then he like did his fucking pilgrimage to mecca and he came back 1.00

00:22:14.840 and was like oh fuck i met like muslims who are white who are fucking asian ew who are fucking you know 1.00

00:22:20.840 all fucking you know all skin colors like maybe i'm fucking up maybe i'm fucking up like you know 1.00

00:22:27.080 i like i accept like all fucking races who are just like you know as long as you're muslim is like 1.00

00:22:31.880 fuck fuck the other you know whatever fuck your fuck other religions you take the win where you can 1.00

00:22:36.640 the black ones are still the best but you know we will accept the other ones some a little bit 1.00

00:22:41.680 maybe yeah because it's like on the fact that he was a black supremacist in the beginning of his life

00:22:47.140 so i just i it was a good tweet even a peaceful aspect of him like what how my thing is people

00:22:54.120 always like make it out malcolm x like he was belligerent but he never was not peaceful like

00:22:58.940 like he never really was like advocating being being offensive he would he advocating like mlk

00:23:05.120 advocated the whole gandhi thing of like rolling over but x was more like he really embodied the nap 1.00

00:23:11.680 and like hey don't go fuck with people but if they fuck with you fuck with them right back like 0.99

00:23:16.940 that was kind of his thing dude i never fucking dug into the fucking malcolm x files here to know 1.00

00:23:22.440 what the fuck actually happened i don't know i know there's some good autobiographies or whatever 0.97

00:23:28.160 that people have like put together say autobiography baguette no i think there is one autobiography at 0.97

00:23:32.960 least right it's written in crayon he doesn't really know actually how to spell

00:23:37.260 it's all great i was all day and i was doing the thing and then they shot me

00:23:49.980 i didn't want to get this shot dude that was actually a really good impression of dave smith doing a black 0.80

00:23:58.060 impression his days by the way i just want to throw this out there dave talking about uh hassan

00:24:06.100 biker today was actually pretty baller if you ever watched his uh part of probably it was actually

00:24:10.420 really good dude his song is so insufferable though so insufferable no homo like i'm borderline homo 1.00

00:24:17.200 for him he's a goddamn good looking dude but fucking yeah whatever intellectual ability and 0.99

00:24:25.820 his show suck that guy dude get this out of the way he's fucking so hot yeah 1.00

00:24:31.040 dude he's the worst like i just want to shove it in my fucking throat no homo 1.00

00:24:39.900 he's been no homo he's been deeper inside than any other guy no homo though but he's been the 1.00

00:24:47.200 deepest i don't want to sound like a queer or nothing but i totally suck his dick 1.00

00:24:50.880 that's a that's a reference to orgasmo if you guys don't if no one caught that 0.99

00:24:59.580 you ever had to tell the reference god dang well it's a good it's a good it's one of those ones

00:25:05.160 that was an underappreciated matt so and trey parker movie you guys should go watch it's a great

00:25:09.100 i never seen it or heard of it so i'll have to check on that i'll tell you the plot the plot is

00:25:13.920 a mormon guy wants to get married he wants to have money to be able to get with his girlfriend and so

00:25:18.700 he gets into porn but he doesn't actually do the porn they like swap him out when it actually comes 0.99

00:25:23.220 to the porn part and like i don't remember what if his dick is huge or what it is there's some 1.00

00:25:27.760 shit that's like amazing about him and it's just it's a really stupid movie there's one line throughout 0.99

00:25:31.820 the whole movie like one of the characters game ever it's matt or trey he's like i don't want to 1.00

00:25:35.520 sound like a queer or nothing and then he says something really gay and it gets gayer throughout the

00:25:39.040 movie like i don't like that but i'd make love to you speaking of mormons did y'all see that thing 0.99

00:25:45.620 about the uh soaking have y'all ever seen that yeah i thought that was just what the fuck it had a 0.98

00:25:52.300 better name earlier like just a ship or some shit you didn't see this toad no this is the way you can 1.00

00:25:58.300 have sex and not really have sex so i think you're in the clear so so oh you're just marinating in 1.00

00:26:03.320 there yeah it's called marinating dude not fucking soaking so this is like it's like a mormon thing 1.00

00:26:09.580 i did see that yeah so you they just go real slow so you barely notice the adam people fucking shake 0.98

00:26:16.960 the bed and shit down on the bed and so he just kind of like convulsing there so you penetrate but 0.99

00:26:24.480 you don't move is that is that yes yeah they must think that god is retarded they like mormons just 0.99

00:26:31.560 think i don't know are they they are the retarded religion all you gotta do are they considered 0.98

00:26:36.060 christians i don't even know i could say them a cult you don't have to even go through this weird 1.00

00:26:42.820 shit with the mormon well yeah they want to just fuck each other in the ass and then someone jumps 1.00

00:26:47.500 on the bed to make it the thrusting thing so it's basically like a bunch rudder but with sex 1.00

00:26:52.060 it's the solution but wait what's what's wrong with pulling out though um well then you're having

00:27:00.220 sex okay well here's the thing dude it doesn't feel as have you have you ever not pulled out

00:27:04.720 that's why you won't want to pull out yeah the whole reason there's a term pull out 0.99

00:27:09.880 it fucking sucks i'm just saying it's gonna be better than soaking right no but the whole thing 0.97

00:27:19.080 is they think that god like he said god is so retarded like he sees them go in he's like whoa 0.99

00:27:23.580 whoa and he's like all right they're not moving all right they're good he's just chilling there 0.62

00:27:28.440 nothing sexual happening here they're good also the whole thing about p-rex is where if you don't

00:27:36.080 move he can't see you we're gonna call sam the super soaker god is hell yeah also the whole thing 0.99

00:27:44.980 about how like butt fucking is fine we're like yeah i'm sure everyone's heard that joke about like 0.99

00:27:49.520 yeah isn't like sodomy is explicitly a sin in the body and then we named butt sex after that 1.00

00:28:01.960 fucking city that he destroyed and you think that god's just gonna be like turn the other fucking 1.00

00:28:06.760 way when you turn the other what if god was like lol that's pretty dope though that's a funny joke 0.99

00:28:12.360 no everyone just got really mad it's like because he like created humans he was just like okay i'm

00:28:18.880 gonna give the woman this thing that's warm it lubricates itself it does everything for the man 1.00

00:28:23.440 and then he like sees a guy go fuck another dude in the ass he's like dude what the fuck man 1.00

00:28:27.680 like i literally like right there is something for you i gave you it's perfect and you're like 1.00

00:28:32.440 fuck each other in the shit hole jesus why is he getting down on his knees dude oh don't put it in 1.00

00:28:38.000 your mouth come on let's be real though dudes rock so it's like yeah butthole may not be as cool as 1.00

00:28:44.400 vagina but would you rather hang out with a chick or a dude like but if you see a gaping at the same 1.00

00:28:50.280 time though dude if i see a if you see a gaping woman's asshole and then and you're just like oh hell 1.00

00:28:56.340 yeah brother you're gay dude you're fucking gay oh yeah that is the worst you're seeing porn where 1.00

00:29:03.680 they like then zoom out and then you see a gaping like oh god no why why would they do dude i'm not 1.00

00:29:10.660 gonna lie this country is lost dude this country i don't care how fucking degenerate you are but i 1.00

00:29:15.520 mean like how the fuck is anyone all right jokes aside here i'm not trying to be faggot phobic or 1.00

00:29:20.280 whatever but thank god i thought you were a packet photo for a second dude even if you are into butt 0.99

00:29:27.340 stuff dating butthole is not cool even if you are into butt stuff that's not cool that should be 0.98

00:29:31.660 shamed not okay get out my covenant community because like dude you guys saw that that chick 0.99

00:29:37.280 who tweeted about like there should like she was like hear me out there should be porn for kids 1.00

00:29:42.940 oh yeah everyone was just like what the fuck on google it says it's like planking but only your 1.00

00:29:57.840 dick is inside of a mormon that's soaking i thought she was talking about the milking table again 1.00

00:30:06.500 trying to call back old jokes it doesn't work when you force it wait a minute though but the 0.99

00:30:13.320 question is though is is soaking a unit of fuck though we do have to answer that yeah that was 1.00

00:30:18.100 that was asked of you oh there's penetrate dude you're putting the dick in the vagene 1.00

00:30:22.740 yeah the dick was in the vagene does it not okay are we gonna talk about the unit of fuck because 1.00

00:30:28.620 with them so did you but okay so davy uh derrick flint whatever i don't know i'll give a fuck about 1.00

00:30:35.620 you what is a unit just making sure to understand 0.99

00:30:41.720 yeah dude indian derrick what's the unit of fuck i don't know get a nut yep no yeah it's gotta be 1.00

00:30:49.520 if you fucking nut that doesn't mean that you fucked though i don't know but there has to be like 1.00

00:30:55.740 penetration oh no your dick gets wet and it's not your fluids how about that so okay you're telling 1.00

00:31:03.120 me how do they have what is their unit of fuck you don't come you're telling you didn't fuck that 1.00

00:31:08.060 woman exactly what if she's fat this is my defense i swear to god yeah but does it count if she's fat 1.00

00:31:17.220 i don't know how that makes a difference fat girls are generally better i'm gonna be honest 1.00

00:31:24.220 like that's not true oh my god my wife is smoking hot but i've got some fatties in my day they can 1.00

00:31:34.740 get down i'm not gonna wait wait but your wife is not fat no but yet you'll sit here and defend 1.00

00:31:40.220 fat women you have no reason to do this what the fuck is that come on what are you doing 1.00

00:31:43.960 you want me to lie to you i think jose is right because fat women have to come you don't want to 1.00

00:31:49.760 enable these women dude you need it you're gonna nag them if they get too full of themselves 1.00

00:31:55.240 it's just not good yeah the reason why they're good is the shame because they they don't think 0.98

00:32:00.240 they're worth shit so but if i start you're not i get where you're getting at exactly it's like 0.90

00:32:05.920 you're worthless this is the other day that uh that the um women's confidence is directly 1.00

00:32:13.560 related to their bmi it's like all these like fat chicks are super confident in themselves like 1.00

00:32:18.820 yeah i'm a catch like jesus bitch although i feel like always the fattest women who are the most 1.00

00:32:24.220 confident yeah i feel like those fat chicks are probably awful fat chicks are ashamed of being fat 1.00

00:32:29.800 probably amazing ways oh my god the worst the worst fat women to me aside from like fat black women 1.00

00:32:35.880 being allowed it's just like fucking twitter witches dude just like fat witch types yo have 1.00

00:32:44.220 they killed all yet oh the witches oh with the crystal one on twitter i don't think she's around 1.00

00:32:48.600 anymore may or something like that i knew she was a witch but then once i found out she was fat 1.00

00:32:54.160 it was like over for me i was like oh my god i i basically just like went from like teetering on

00:33:00.440 the edge of being friends with her to just like no way dude i can't deal with this anymore 0.99

00:33:03.880 she was posting shit for fucking cleavage trying to get attention well what about normal 1.00

00:33:11.420 what are you doing you need to get off your fat ass dude you eat wendy's every day that's how you 1.00

00:33:21.200 look like that you think you have superpowers well she's got huge tits so yeah bro watch out 1.00

00:33:28.620 that's why women don't want it to be normalized for us straight men to get tits i don't see the 1.00

00:33:35.320 problem with the like trans i'm anti-trans but a straight guy should just be able to have a pair 0.99

00:33:40.880 of tits and that'd be normal yeah are you guys uh anti-trans on this podcast i mean i'm not pro but 0.98

00:33:46.580 i don't know if i said i don't know i mean we're like 85 but we're anti-trans i mean i mean there are 0.98

00:33:53.280 rocks at home is that anti i don't mean throwing he's trans rocks i mean do you wink after like do 0.61

00:33:59.720 you throw the rock and you're like i'm i'm kidding though i'm kidding it's all a joke man it's just a 0.85

00:34:05.100 joke man it's a prank dude your nose is bleeding by the way hey hey hey don't kill yourself all right 0.52

00:34:09.980 i know you i know you guys do that but just kind of chill out on it's just a joke i don't know 0.99

00:34:13.360 i prefer when they're pronounced or was were man yes i i wait until their assholes winking at me 1.00

00:34:21.220 first and then i wink back you stared deep enough into the void well i think we'll get back to this 0.99

00:34:29.440 so are we just saying that any anal even with a woman is gay no or the or the just the look no i'm 0.99

00:34:35.820 just saying if you look at that and you and your dick gets hard that's gay like i thought i was 1.00

00:34:39.980 gaping though you were talking about gaping like if you see the gaping that's just a butthole in 1.00

00:34:46.200 general just a butthole like if you're going to like look at naked girls on the internet and you're 1.00

00:34:49.720 just looking at pictures of buttholes i got news that's all i'm saying that's not gay fuck you 1.00

00:34:55.400 that's not gay dude there's someone that looks up on the internet 1.00

00:34:59.600 dude i'm a cool fucking straight man i go on the internet i look at titties 1.00

00:35:05.900 and pussies dude that's fucking gay dude now imagine the minefield you have if you 1.00

00:35:13.600 and yeah there's something weird going on well imagine the minefield you're going into if you 1.00

00:35:17.700 just look up buttholes to go jerk off 1.00

00:35:19.820 i'm taking whatever's in here man and then you do yeah then you just fucking descend down 1.00

00:35:28.400 jacob's ladder into the fucking abyss of all the different butthole porn 1.00

00:35:32.360 it's one thing it's one thing if you go into porn and you haphazardly get some sort of butt stuff in 1.00

00:35:38.780 there whatever it naturally gets mixed up but if your search is like butthole if your search is like 1.00

00:35:44.280 butthole you're in a dark place i'm with you brother you guys need to fucking live a little bit 1.00

00:35:50.680 god damn you guys need to fuck an ass from time to time yeah you guys need to fuck a little bit 1.00

00:35:55.380 here's here's a question though is a gayer or a couple of times that's what the tactics 1.00

00:35:59.280 is literally is littered with buttholes 1.00

00:36:01.560 butthole asshole he's just like i'm not weird you guys are fucking weird 1.00

00:36:07.080 i'm playing this shit dude okay is it also a screenshot a picture of their 1.00

00:36:12.360 like a search on porn of butthole and see what comes up 1.00

00:36:15.340 is it gayer though is it gayer to look at a trans woman's butthole or a trans man's face 1.00

00:36:23.580 okay what the fuck which one is which i don't even know what they are like which one used to be a 1.00

00:36:28.860 woman and which one used to be a man this is why i'm sympathetic to the anti-trans it's just so 0.99

00:36:33.120 fucking confusing 0.99

00:36:33.800 a trans man you have to be so a trans man used to be a woman you shouldn't be allowed 1.00

00:36:43.960 no matter what children yes or no they don't have rights so i'm mostly if you think that trans 0.99

00:36:51.680 people should be allowed near children then you are a pro-trans if not you're anti-trans i think

00:36:56.680 that's the that's a good litmus test they shouldn't even be allowed in public is it

00:37:00.380 post-op trans for your they could be like put in a cage first no they should be sacrificed to like 1.00

00:37:06.480 protection of the child in a volcano or some shit they should be declawed and by claw i mean penis 1.00

00:37:12.220 and by d i mean you're you're giving them what they want 1.00

00:37:16.060 yeah but we don't actually do it surgically we just do it with a fucking hatchet 0.99

00:37:22.280 it's just a butter knife you're just like it's scraping 1.00

00:37:26.160 shit of that where people just like actually do cut their fucking dick off and then they like pose 0.99

00:37:32.440 on fucking instagram with it oh yeah i never saw that part but i remember the uh yeah i remember 1.00

00:37:38.080 the pain olympics did you ever look up the pain yes oh man that was like 20 years ago man that was 1.00

00:37:47.120 probably the beginning of the end of this country it really was people seeing that shit dude that was 0.96

00:37:53.560 like before was that pre-9-11 no it wasn't no i was no no because i know i was like yeah i saw this 0.97

00:38:01.040 stuff in like 20 that was the 9-11 of the internet was that dude i remember okay i was working at a

00:38:09.360 water park and these like kids came up to me basically kids like they were probably like 13 or

00:38:13.460 14 years old and they're like have you ever seen the pain olympics i was like no and they're like 0.89

00:38:17.140 look here's a guy like uh nailing his dick to a board and it's literally just a dude just has a 0.99

00:38:22.800 nailed dick and just starts hammering it into a board oh my god i was like oh my god we're literally 0.99

00:38:28.620 talking about it like it's 9-11 where were you when you saw that hashtag never forget 1.00

00:38:36.260 no no people do look at that shit you know who does off you know who does josh smith no he doesn't 1.00

00:38:44.300 jerk off he looks at that shit he's in the call this dude out oh yeah he did say that on our show 1.00

00:38:51.220 didn't he yeah he was like telling us all the best gore sites to go to you know he's like into it like 0.99

00:38:55.740 watching it he just gets like a thrill out of it like yeah everyone has that weird friend who's

00:39:00.660 like haha look at this and it's like some dude that was like decapitated some accident you're like

00:39:04.520 like what is wrong with you i do am i to judge though i'll judge you if you look up buttholes but 0.99

00:39:10.400 hey you want to see a guy cutting his dick off hey man that's all you that's great i'll judge you 1.00

00:39:13.600 if you don't masturbate you should 100% masturbate at least you're fucked up like to the to the 1.00

00:39:19.260 logical conclusion at least you're not gay yeah at least you're not gay dude even though there's 1.00

00:39:25.080 a dick involved it's still not gay because you're getting off to just the masochism of it it's not 0.99

00:39:29.580 the it's not the dick part it's that it's the pain i also did i did have some friends that's right 0.99

00:39:34.780 is dicky that friend no i do have a friend though that was just like y'all ever just like uh lay in 0.94

00:39:41.360 bed before you go to like before you go to sleep and you just kind of look up uh taliban beheading 0.99

00:39:45.480 videos and just kind of binge on that for a little bit i was like what the fuck 0.99

00:39:49.500 when they're cutting their throat with a yeah it was just like oh you never watched those videos 0.99

00:39:56.220 just like you remember he's supposed to come dude you remember uh fucking uh he used to have a radio 0.97

00:40:03.780 show michael savage you guys remember him for back he's like a right-wing radio show guy no but on 0.98

00:40:09.700 on the front of his fucking website like savage nation savage nation.com he had the fucking 0.99

00:40:15.140 beheading video at the fucking top of it it was like that was like the only place you could just 1.00

00:40:19.380 like find it it wasn't on youtube you know this bullshit it's just like no dude go to my fucking 0.99

00:40:24.040 website i'm hosting that video i'm paying for the bandwidth so you to see this he was trying to 0.98

00:40:29.000 remember that lively your boss your boss goes up to you um mr derrick why have you looked up uh michael

00:40:36.980 malice or michael malice's michael savage's website 138 times in the last hour 0.93

00:40:42.000 i want to see like all these like cached fucking beheading videos on their servers now on their 0.98

00:40:48.060 i want to see it no but like yeah you're talking about live leak yeah like just the the fucking 0.96

00:40:54.540 advent of something like live link live leak or whatever just has which is gone now by the way

00:40:59.900 it's gone yeah it's gone live leak is gone it's down they uh the the hosts that like the people

00:41:06.120 that created the the creators took it down they were like yeah we're kind of done with this

00:41:10.200 we're gonna move on to other things we want to go to heaven

00:41:13.460 any of you guys have like real man's jobs because like i was an aircraft mechanic and like no dude 0.97

00:41:20.320 i remember your hands like a fucking pork training they showed us fucking videos that people got like 0.99

00:41:26.000 fucked up like i've seen so many videos people going through fucking aircraft engines or like losing 1.00

00:41:30.900 their hand because they have their videos yeah there's fucked up shit like the fucking like a 1.00

00:41:36.200 wearing their rings and like yanks off their fucking yeah like you're like okay well i'm a i was so 1.00

00:41:44.380 scared of aircraft engines for the fucking longest time say like 100 feet away anywhere like like i 0.99

00:41:49.920 respected those things like a motherfucker and then you get to a point you're like i don't give a 0.99

00:41:53.260 shit you're like five feet away from it when i first started my job and like i'm welding now 0.99

00:42:00.020 when i first started my job i was still married had my wedding band on and uh that's when i realized 1.00

00:42:05.320 that uh that shit will ground out and you know get really fucking hot on your finger 0.99

00:42:09.520 i thought this had like it was like really almost very hot had to cut the damn thing off 1.00

00:42:15.480 pretty fun holy shit don't recommend it oh my god there's a guy there was um it was gay one of my 0.99

00:42:21.340 neighbors growing up he got his arm ripped off uh by um some kind of industrial like i think it was 0.95

00:42:28.400 like one of the presses his arm got caught and just came right off his whole his whole like half

00:42:33.000 his arm i was like jesus my mother-in-law lost her arm to a washing machine

00:42:37.200 that's the most retarded way to lose an arm i've ever heard at least she was where she belonged 0.99

00:42:46.220 yes yes she was actually stuck there and she was getting fucked by her step her step 1.00

00:42:51.360 oh hell yeah i swear to god if you say you're fucking into that shit you have no fucking 1.00

00:42:58.280 credibility credibility for anything you've said so far what if you guys have ever had 1.00

00:43:02.540 like got annoyed with washing machines when you go to try to open it and you gotta wait until it

00:43:06.860 stops and unlocks she's the she's one of the people the reason why because back in the day they

00:43:12.200 didn't have that safety feature to where like you could just open it whenever

00:43:16.260 baby what are you talking about me not having credibility though dude yeah because you said 0.99

00:43:23.260 you're you're in the you're in the fucking step porn dude no i'm not you just hell yeah i even did 1.00

00:43:28.960 dude all that shit is fake you look at a fucking bottle that's not a fake bottle doesn't matter 1.00

00:43:33.560 dude it is actually a butt it's not a step but it's a step but it doesn't count 1.00

00:43:43.400 like all all the same porn chicks like will do like oh stepbrother step it's like no that's 1.00

00:43:48.240 clearly fucking like what i've seen this chick a thousand times and i've seen that fucking and 1.00

00:43:52.800 like they're not related none of them that doesn't matter finger yeah it doesn't davy it's just the 0.99

00:43:58.660 title of the video you skip past the intro it doesn't matter you're right yeah it's fine no one no

00:44:04.180 one is into step porn yeah it's regular don't say that people definitely are there are people who

00:44:10.840 are into it but i also hate it's like i find if i'm looking at butthole porn which has got to be 0.86

00:44:16.640 like a real genre i'm looking at shit porn that is a real genre and it's like i cannot confuse this 0.99

00:44:22.060 with anything else scat porn i can watch oh you're right my bad apologies to the fucking shit community 0.99

00:44:30.000 yeah apologize to the entire country of germany dude i want to find that their thing over there 0.99

00:44:36.780 dude yeah i want to find that discord the shit community discord just like yeah we're in the 0.99

00:44:41.660 shit yeah we really like that stuff yeah holy shit we talked about porn for 40 minutes straight 1.00

00:44:47.800 no no we had talk about races in there too yeah it's my favorite shit shit man what's on the 1.00

00:44:55.200 fucking uh uh show notes what are we talking about tonight well i mean you guys are talking 1.00

00:45:02.260 about porn what's up with uh derek and porn tan lines i have no idea real quick real quick i want 0.99

00:45:09.980 to riff on something all right what is it called cuck porn and a lot of people like sometimes those 0.99

00:45:14.200 are legit funny because like it'll be some like dude that's like fucking some like dudes 1.00

00:45:18.740 oh yeah yeah yeah like you like that shit you like that i find that so funny 0.99

00:45:25.520 it just makes me laugh oh oh by the way i find hilarious riffing off of that so today i don't i don't 0.99

00:45:32.960 know if i should call this person out but there was definitely someone that said that somebody in

00:45:37.660 in the community oh you know what no he wrote he wrote an article on it jack murphy if you know

00:45:43.120 that is is a cuckold uh like legit yes so he wrote um and someone sent us the article he wrote an 0.61

00:45:51.180 article back in like fucking i don't know 2013 see the arranged marriage dude he's the guy that goes 0.98

00:45:57.460 on tim cast he's got he's the guy that goes on tim cast has that big beard um yeah i'm looking at 0.93

00:46:03.240 a picture of him now he looks yeah he definitely looks like a bull if i had to guess he would have

00:46:07.740 been the bull not the cuckold you know but no no i don't know what he is but there's a there's a

00:46:12.040 he went through that article by jack murphy the amazon guy went through where he just like went 0.98

00:46:17.400 from a fucking nerd to just like i don't know he took some hgh and grew a beard like talking gopian 0.99

00:46:23.180 oh yeah he got fucking fed again though oh my god todd is i could totally see him being a cuck i 0.99

00:46:30.580 can see that totally i'm not gonna lie there's something super bait about like being the bull if 1.00

00:46:35.380 you're the bull then you're like fucking some dude's wife like yeah you fucking like that that's 1.00

00:46:39.400 like the most masculine thing i can think of like the biggest you're looking at the dude while you 1.00

00:46:43.600 do it you're just like no i just want to make sure that you're having a good time you know you're 0.96

00:46:49.220 the one who pays me and everything no fat dave then then it becomes gay all of a sudden 1.00

00:46:53.540 yeah where's that gang that there's just fucking women just to get the uh fucking look off the 1.00

00:46:58.720 guy's face right now yeah what if you stare him down and he's just looking away like is it gay 1.00

00:47:06.960 then like look at me look at me don't look at me don't you fucking look at me grab him by the chin 0.99

00:47:12.100 yank him in look him straight in the eyes give him a little kiss on the forehead lovingly yeah 0.96

00:47:17.140 it's like that um it's like that that um this hurts me more than it hurts you that scene from

00:47:24.340 where the millers where they go in and he starts like playing with his ear you know what i'm talking

00:47:28.780 about i haven't seen nick offerman yeah yeah nick offerman starts playing with his ear

00:47:33.100 you miss wait toad you haven't seen where the millers you need to watch that real quick 0.99

00:47:38.340 20 times speed you know everyone take an hour and a half of a guy example of a fucking guy 1.00

00:47:48.320 who just completely faked his way into everyone's hearts yes 100 he is a complete bitch he's a 1.00

00:47:56.640 little bit funny they they wrote him to be a parody of libertarians but they people still love him 0.99

00:48:01.540 for like being libertarians are parodies of libertarians anyway so yeah they made him be a

00:48:06.680 parody and then like but we're like yeah but we totally agree i know what you're talking about

00:48:10.200 if anything he didn't go hard enough because he was like i remember those 1.00

00:48:13.080 social contract and shit i'm like shut the fuck up faggot no no no no there's one part where he 1.00

00:48:17.680 talked about uh government should just be one guy with the button to the nuke we're like jesus 1.00

00:48:21.600 man what do you want such a huge government for just one guy that's way too big yeah it's funny

00:48:28.080 they made him a parody of like being this craziness and we're like yeah he didn't go far enough what

00:48:31.980 are you talking about and also he's the most lovable character on it like everybody's just like oh he

00:48:36.880 kind of makes sense like everything yeah pretty much well yeah nick offerman in real life did have

00:48:42.700 like one small libertarian streak related to the scotch distillery that he was trying to

00:48:47.600 open because like the government was really basically preventing him from doing it and he

00:48:51.400 got pissed at the government in that one specific circumstance but other than that i think he's 1.00

00:48:55.980 kind of a bitch people are so fucking weak man they just want to be led they don't give a fuck about 1.00

00:49:01.120 being free and that's why we're all gonna move to mexico so we all be free yeah get ready we're 1.00

00:49:08.160 coming yeah i don't actually don't like people who don't speak english so i'm not gonna be there

00:49:11.880 you guys have fun with that but yeah but we can tar the politicians in the way in the way that they 0.97

00:49:19.460 do yeah with beans and rice yeah and then eat them on the road let them like fucking refied beans and 0.95

00:49:27.800 rice probably dirt roads yeah that's that's true actually if they just down so they just like make a 0.71

00:49:35.540 huge like ginormous can of beans and rice and just dump it on the politician no no you just fry

00:49:42.400 that sounds like a party you just fry the politician up and then the politician is a refried beaner 0.98

00:49:48.020 that was a fucking journey i dig it i'm glad we got there 0.99

00:50:00.540 started at the bottom now we're here well i didn't like it as a bottom now we're queer 0.99

00:50:07.220 what the fuck do you do by the way you're the intern so like do you just like 0.97

00:50:12.740 like what did these two guys tell you to fucking do listen we have we haven't actually went through 1.00

00:50:18.540 that bit yet you gotta chill okay yeah dude calm down put your dick away get us some coffee 0.99

00:50:23.720 yeah give me like 18 hours dude i expect that overnighted gotta fly out to fucking florida 1.00

00:50:33.040 all that's expected of him is to try to teach us how to uh teach our women to be lesbians is that 0.98

00:50:41.920 what you do yeah sure you brought him aboard now i vet twitter for maybe you can maybe you can

00:50:48.800 give the listeners of this show maybe the listeners of this show some tips

00:50:55.760 yeah man to not make davy mad get what no on how to how to how do you initiate a threesome 0.98

00:51:03.860 oh dude how did you get into this lifestyle um i don't know man i like when i met when i met my uh 0.93

00:51:11.720 when i met my wife i was like having sex with like two of my friends at the time and i was like 0.73

00:51:15.580 hey i have sex with my friends sometimes so you're gonna either have to like live with that 0.82

00:51:20.160 or not it really doesn't matter to me it's not it's not obviously feelings yeah dude 0.79

00:51:28.380 it's completely platonic actually

00:51:31.120 hands like a little bit hey man he only soaks in his friend's butthole there was no feeling

00:51:38.400 there is mustache on my mustache it's just simply wonderful there are no feelings involved besides 0.99

00:51:45.280 maybe a little hatred we hate fuck each other a little bit but that's it like there's there's 0.98

00:51:49.240 very masculine yeah that's cool there's anything to get your nuts hey every squirrel's got to get 0.99

00:51:54.480 their nut dude now no just tell him just fucking say like hey i i'm gonna do this and you can 0.99

00:52:01.140 either fuck off or you can join in yeah that's a solid point man is it is it considered i could 1.00

00:52:07.400 never do it wait a minute oh you could are you being cocked though if your wife fucks a woman 1.00

00:52:13.560 i've asked him that same fucking question wait i don't give a shit 1.00

00:52:18.020 let me let flint stick up for himself here is it cucked flint are you a cuck your wife has 1.00

00:52:24.640 fucked another man you thought you're talking about this toad ass woman though not man yeah 1.00

00:52:29.460 we're talking about woman that's the same shit isn't it no no no i'd say i'd say woman no man yes 1.00

00:52:35.360 i'd say anyway if she has fucked another guy so you are it's probably worse if it's a woman 1.00

00:52:42.240 i don't know i'm the best at what i do so like it doesn't really bother me because like i'm better 0.96

00:52:49.440 and i can guarantee it so that's just you know my thing wait wait are you having a competition of who 0.86

00:52:55.440 fucks your friends better 1.00

00:52:57.180 my wife has always said she would be open to it but it would have to be a masculine female because 1.00

00:53:07.660 she's into dudes not chicks so it'd have to be something that's like an easy transition 0.97

00:53:10.740 it's like a hard how do i find i have to find a perfect level it's like already hard enough to 0.99

00:53:16.760 find a chick it's like hey you want to fuck me and my wife like that's already hard enough and 1.00

00:53:20.100 that's pretty easy that's like this magical gray area of like masculine enough for my wife but 1.00

00:53:27.480 feminine enough for me you know like it's go to the pits and be like i bet i can fuck her better 1.00

00:53:33.820 than you can game on because i just gotta have a deeper voice no if you're finding somebody who's 1.00

00:53:40.700 that masculine so that it's like very obvious that your wife is the sub in that relationship 0.99

00:53:46.800 you're definitely being cocked dude oh that's true yeah yeah because that that butch-ass woman 1.00

00:53:54.260 isn't gonna let you put your dick in her that's what it's like that's like that like hot that's 1.00

00:54:01.440 like kind of weirdly hot but like a almost like a ruby rose or some shit where it's like kind of 1.00

00:54:06.280 masculine but kind of not yeah okay here's the thing okay she has a strap on would you double 0.99

00:54:11.240 penetrate your wife with another woman yeah right this is what we're talking about absolutely 0.98

00:54:17.260 your wife is getting pegged by the other woman yeah yeah yeah but you're in there too like you 1.00

00:54:21.860 can't touch the other woman she's she's off she's off limits but like instead of like you double 1.00

00:54:27.080 teaming with your best friend dude it's just nothing that's just weird i'm just not into that i mean i

00:54:33.540 i know it's very weird i've got something like now now a better question isn't it like you're the 0.98

00:54:39.240 in-between like you have your wiener and her and then the chick has a strap on and you is that gay 0.99

00:54:43.240 yeah yeah yeah yeah you're one yeah i'm just curious guys i've been saying this a lot lately too 0.99

00:54:49.800 is pooping oh here comes derrick it's pooping yeah this is this is actually a really good because 0.98

00:54:56.040 we talked about that i've talked about this multiple times i get a problem when i shit it's it's 0.99

00:55:00.420 such a huge turd a little comb shot out the tip of my dick that's good and then i'm like you 0.99

00:55:07.560 mother i've never had any of these experiences holy shit what am i missing in life now wait a 1.00

00:55:12.980 minute is it gay if like is there any situation is there any situation where like some of the 0.99

00:55:18.520 shit could like partially go back in or something while in the process because then that would be 0.99

00:55:22.580 probably one can dream one can hope 0.99

00:55:26.240 yeah i like to punch my stomach repeatedly before every shit so it doesn't come out 1.00

00:55:34.860 shaped like a dick or some shit get the water splash going back up there like oh yeah 1.00

00:55:39.320 that's okay wait so so is it is it only me and davy that get boners while shitting 1.00

00:55:46.280 is that is it only us two i think everybody does no i i don't know apparently these guys 1.00

00:55:52.540 fucking don't like solid solid uh solid shit stuff not like a watery one like been drinking 0.99

00:55:58.660 oh yeah oh yeah sorry i thought i thought it was david it's like it's like it just pushes 1.00

00:56:03.120 the boner right out of you like as it goes down yeah yeah yeah i'm with you same thing dude 0.99

00:56:07.240 you must have a powerful swollen and gorged prostate like me 0.99

00:56:11.700 i don't need to go to the doctor dude i don't get boners 1.00

00:56:18.520 the best time to beat off is after a shit in my opinion because it's like you're on the toilet 0.99

00:56:24.880 and so it's like you can just like kind of point your dick down and not like whenever the might as 1.00

00:56:29.420 well here yeah any fucking any fucking uh children that happen to congeen in the sewer 1.00

00:56:36.880 that you fucking flush your comb down and you mix it with your shit to make absolute turd mutants 1.00

00:56:43.940 yeah like yeah like if your sperm gets into one of those like sewer rats or something into the rat 1.00

00:56:50.660 pussy and then there's some dude speaking of that what is going on with uh animal human hybrids 0.99

00:56:55.380 and shit lately have you been hearing that no well i saw i was listening to war mode and they 1.00

00:57:02.620 were talking about this oh yeah they were dude yeah the fuck the coming i don't know they were 0.99

00:57:07.140 i mean i wish i had done my own research to sound fucking cool like hey i totally adopted all the 0.99

00:57:12.580 things i believe from these like two guys i listen to on the fucking podcast you guys think i'm cool yet 0.98

00:57:17.800 no but like it was like uh evidently like one company is the only one that's allowed to do this 0.99

00:57:24.000 right now but yeah they're fucking testing like mixing fucking genes and shit in america public 0.99

00:57:28.640 fucking shit with mice they've been doing that for years man i know it's like one of those situations 1.00

00:57:33.620 where it's like alex jones is just like fucking i don't know like skipping up a fucking glass of 1.00

00:57:38.960 cognac is that the thing where they're trying to like make uh human tissue and and animals so they 0.96

00:57:44.280 can use it for like transplants and shit that's part of it but i mean they're i know that i know 0.89

00:57:48.340 they're making fucking mice people no don't tell me that that sounds a little less cool than what 0.99

00:57:55.660 was in my mind dude are you kidding i don't care about that shit i'm trying to get pissed over here 1.00

00:58:00.740 dude dude they're creating a whole new race for you to be racist against i don't understand why 0.99

00:58:04.840 you're upset like this is like they're really creating a new bottom level well we already have

00:58:10.380 one rat race yeah no they're just like here you go here's another one that are actually well

00:58:15.460 the other ones are actually rats too but so it's just it's like biologically rats you can be 0.71

00:58:21.200 totally racist against them it's totally fine you know i'm already i'm already how long until 0.78

00:58:25.800 they're not cool that we're racist against robots oh dude it's gotta be i'm waiting for it any day 0.99

00:58:31.620 you saw the amazon robot right you saw the amazon robot today yeah the little fucking manlet robots 0.99

00:58:36.280 all these fucking people were getting pissed off about can you fuck it what it's like five foot 1.00

00:58:42.360 that's the most important question flint you're literally fucking every woman like that you see 1.00

00:58:49.140 and your wife's down with it like are you you really gonna try to put your dick in a robot too 1.00

00:58:52.980 yeah he is japanese so i'm the best i have to fuck it wait what are you talking flint what are you 1.00

00:59:02.360 talking about your people are literally making sex robots as we speak i know it's the one reason i 1.00

00:59:07.640 don't advocate even harder to nuke them again dude after anime they gotta go you think that's

00:59:12.900 just like the best thing ever like finally the abolition of women is upon us it's the only 0.99

00:59:18.220 redeeming quality dude after anime you have to make something that redeems i've been saying this forever 1.00

00:59:23.660 but i think the next step has got to be you can fuck you get a robot wife that you fuck and it has 1.00

00:59:28.900 like a human egg in it you can have a baby you can have a robot wife like for real it's that fucking uh 1.00

00:59:33.500 rick and morty bit where they had where morty was fucking that like robot and they literally made a 1.00

00:59:38.700 baby all they do is fight fuck and eat like i'm cool with that let's get back to that shit which 1.00

00:59:45.160 by the way they need to do that for a japan because i'm pretty sure they're like birth rates are down 1.00

00:59:48.780 like really low because the men will not fuck the women at all because that's fine like because 1.00

00:59:53.860 asian women sacrifice your race for us what do you expect they're just like over i think they're 1.00

00:59:59.240 overstimulated by hentai and they literally see an asian woman that basically looks like 0.98

01:00:04.000 dude they're overstimulated by a lot there they got they got hentai they have like sex game shows 0.99

01:00:10.320 they have fucking use panty yeah yeah but they fucking uh yeah but they fucking censor it all who 1.00

01:00:15.380 cares yeah yeah i'm happy japanese salvations upon us japanese porn has completely fucked me up every 0.99

01:00:23.240 time i play minecraft i get fucking hard in one way it doesn't really make sense that japan is uh 0.99

01:00:32.500 like losing population or whatever the case may be because basically you get like fucked onto the 0.98

01:00:37.860 subway essentially because the subways are so packed they're like no that's just the porn 0.98

01:00:42.820 yeah that's the try that that's the try not to come game 0.98

01:00:46.940 that is totally an asian porn thing where they're like fucking on the sub but they have the weirdest 1.00

01:00:57.700 like porn have you seen the ones where it's like some chick reading the news and just people like 0.99

01:01:01.700 dudes just nutting on her they're so fucking weird that's like a thing there's a whole like genre of 0.97

01:01:07.200 that of asian porn of just it's gonna be a downpour i remember i remember on two bears one cave they're 0.99

01:01:14.600 talking about uh another porn that uh asian people like and it's called quicksand porn and it's just 1.00

01:01:20.540 like chicks stuck in quicksand and dudes coming up and like fucking their mouths while they're like 1.00

01:01:26.180 drowning in quicksand that's like the yeah that's like the primal stuck 1.00

01:01:32.960 dude the funniest part of asian porn is the chicks how they come 1.00

01:01:36.920 that's like that's why i watch that shit on fucking muting i don't want to hear the volume 1.00

01:01:45.180 yeah jose all your cats all your cats right now jose are like all your cats are freaking out 1.00

01:01:51.600 because they're like what the fuck what was that the funny thing is i actually just left a second 0.99

01:01:55.520 ago is that i heard a cat meowing and we just had a new litter of kittens so i had to make sure 0.98

01:01:59.660 like everything was okay go check real quick no see see i need i need i need a porn where like

01:02:04.280 the dude is the hero though so he should just like whip out his schlong and like throw it out there

01:02:08.820 so the chick can grab onto it to get out of the quicksand and her like doing this movement like 1.00

01:02:15.540 makes them come because they're just like sitting here and yes yeah the quicksand the quicksand job 0.99

01:02:22.320 and yes thank you uh alan hale for five bucks there uh youtube won't let anybody call us faggots 1.00

01:02:28.840 which is for youtube or a bunch of faggots for that yeah he's he's the faggot for paying five 1.00

01:02:34.520 dollars to call you a faggot wait this is on that dude what did you say to twitter to my fucking face 1.00

01:02:41.340 dude jerek i think by the way we're doing stream yard and shit so we can fucking get paid and let 1.00

01:02:47.200 people call us faggots and never acknowledge them i don't understand why money how much money 1.00

01:02:51.880 you made on this they just paid him five dollars to call him a faggot 1.00

01:02:54.680 tonight tonight we made like 10 bucks total but like um are you fucking kidding me no oh my god 0.98

01:03:05.280 we need to get on this grip uh our highest our highest ever was two and we got 300 dude someone

01:03:11.740 send me ten dollars i'll say whatever you want what is worth it for ten dollars i'll read you a 0.96

01:03:17.540 fucking bedtime story also what happened in any any any race voice that you want hell yeah dude i don't 0.97

01:03:25.400 understand why more like so so there's a bunch of liberty like libertarian like well not really a 0.99

01:03:30.700 bunch but you know comedy libertarian podcast like ours yours uh not a podcast and slurping i said

01:03:37.440 there's basically four of us uh but like we're the only ones on youtube that do it live like this

01:03:41.980 and like fuck around like i don't understand why nobody else does it they're like on either 0.93

01:03:46.900 their own website or what do you what do y'all use just spotify or we no we are on every podcast we 0.99

01:03:52.700 just do audio only oh okay but yeah we don't do fucking video that's we're grifters okay that's 0.93

01:03:57.540 what yeah that's because we're grifter yeah we're just yeah everyone else is at first money so 0.78

01:04:01.220 also i did want to touch on because i saw this the other week and i asked uh our resident uh british

01:04:06.760 first and rogue about it so there is a dating show in united kingdom that is you it's called

01:04:15.500 naked attraction and you basically you ask these people questions and then every time they're afraid

01:04:21.760 of love you you you literally kind of you ask them questions and they're behind a wall and whenever

01:04:27.440 you don't they answer the wall goes up and they show from like bottom to top completely naked yeah and

01:04:33.300 then at the end you have to pick if you want to be with them or not oh yeah and then like you ask 0.98

01:04:37.160 their genitals questions the genitals respond like the chicks like queef the answer there's a lot you 0.98

01:04:43.180 can learn this is a rational way to date really this is actually genius and by the way this makes so 0.92

01:04:49.540 much sense it's in europe so it's totally uncensored so like i guess a full beef

01:04:55.040 beef i guess it's a genius though i'm not gonna lie there's i remember like before my wife forever 0.91

01:05:00.740 ago there was a chick who fucking like looked really good she like but clearly she was like 1.00

01:05:06.120 knew how to dress herself well got her naked fucked her she like orangutan titties it was fucking weird 1.00

01:05:11.380 like like like fucking like paper thin hanging down she just knew how to dress her body and she's like 1.00

01:05:16.500 weirdly shaped like almost like apple shaped tummy it was weird but she looked really close she just knew 0.98

01:05:22.700 how to dress herself well so women that are crafty with their clothes can trick you so all women this 1.00

01:05:28.100 is great with the shit they put on that's why you look that way yep they can't take them trim up is 1.00

01:05:34.880 their fucking pussies so that's why it's genius you date they don't you just do that they better 1.00

01:05:40.880 have that fucking shit shaved off there's not makeup for the pussy you just it's just hairy or it's trimmed 1.00

01:05:48.620 or whatever no no no it's it's either shave they're not happening yeah for 10 bucks we'll let 1.00

01:05:54.620 me see davy's face

01:05:55.740 davy get this guy to come i'll turn it on just for a second there you go oh what are you talking 0.94

01:06:04.500 about my face is all over the fucking internet dude yeah just google it there it was he just 0.96

01:06:09.300 literally just google me you'll fucking find it it's okay alan is the one pump chump so that 0.98

01:06:14.860 already did it there you go buddy but i heard like rogue was telling me that the funniest part 0.99

01:06:21.740 is like whenever they like start going up and then it's the fat chick and they have to explain 0.85

01:06:26.020 for whatever reason they don't want to be with her 0.94

01:06:28.380 that sounds so easy easy mode yeah yeah oh you're fat we're done but if you have that limitation like

01:06:40.480 but you can't say she's fat then it's like a game then it's like oh now i have to figure out a fun 0.97

01:06:44.280 way yeah call you fat like a fucking creative exercise now by the way i can see the veins 0.99

01:06:50.460 popping out of your legs i'm good it comes up you see like their legs like basically thigh down 0.99

01:06:57.040 and they're you can definitely tell they're fat at that point are you just like are you just checked

01:07:01.100 out yeah it's just no longer we're done here i'm good you just like you it goes up and you're like

01:07:07.160 after the first one it goes up and you're just like i'm done

01:07:09.280 you can't even see anything what what if the dude yeah peace out cellulite what if the dude's in

01:07:17.620 the feet and so he's just it's just like uh he's just like all right would you like would you like

01:07:23.660 to ask your next question no no i'm good hang on just give me a second no no just give me a second 0.92

01:07:28.740 just give me a second dude feet people need to be put up against the wall that's fucking weird 1.00

01:07:32.940 you do not why is it a place in polite society i don't know if you're one of them you should be 0.95

01:07:36.900 put up against the wall i'm just saying what's weird what's weird looking up butthole online or

01:07:42.200 just online david all the search history is just like beast butthole no no no no it's not it's not 0.54

01:07:48.480 a foreign thing but i mean during sex i'm like sure why not actually very little i'm not i won't do

01:07:52.920 so i i mean i just can't get being into feet i mean if somehow feet get involved in an accident 0.98

01:07:58.720 or whatever but to be like into feet it's just i try to suck my wife's toes sometimes i try to 1.00

01:08:04.280 suck my wife's toes just as a joke and she is not into it at all like so i can't yeah let's see i'm 0.99

01:08:10.200 like totally joking i don't want to lick your butthole i don't want to lick it at all i don't want 1.00

01:08:21.720 and they go in there and just eat that ass you guys faggots that don't eat ass 1.00

01:08:24.520 what if she's super hot i live in the i want it time to be alive you guys are gay you guys don't 1.00

01:08:31.420 like buttholes what that's gay shit dude yeah well i guess it's i mean eating ass is definitely the 1.00

01:08:38.800 gayest thing i think i could do without and maintain my fucking heterosexuality no no i think no i think 1.00

01:08:45.640 it's the gayest thing you can do with a woman eating their ass so up the butthole definitely not 1.00

01:08:51.440 don't need it being pegged by a woman is the gayest thing i don't know no no no no there there 1.00

01:09:00.040 are gayer things to do with a woman like that i definitely disagree there's definitely gayer 1.00

01:09:04.500 yeah yeah i think eating their ass guys get pegged you hear that fucking guys who like to take it in 1.00

01:09:11.280 the ass with a fucking strap on i think i think being just fuck a dude and be done with it that's 1.00

01:09:15.420 more masculine the woman is definitely gayer oh yeah fucking a man is more masculine than fucking 1.00

01:09:22.720 a woman definitely yeah like that's dude fucking this is some fucking weird gay internet fucking 1.00

01:09:28.040 conspiracy dude is it like more of a dominance move to like assert dominance over a small frail 1.00

01:09:33.560 being or a large more more like imposing you know i mean yeah what if you're what if you're 0.93

01:09:39.200 power bottoming a twink and you're just like yeah i'm fucking getting this dude off 0.96

01:09:43.180 and he's like oh this hurts my this hurts my hips and you're like take it no no yeah you're throwing 0.98

01:09:50.480 you're throwing it back so hard it's fucking rattling am yeah what if you break his hips 0.99

01:09:55.000 it's like when you first get into alpha male you know to assert uh the most dominance possible you 0.99

01:10:00.180 have to take the most masculine dude there is and rape them yeah you got it that's how it is 1.00

01:10:05.420 i appreciate that fucking awkward silence right after that one because it wasn't even 0.99

01:10:09.480 i mean guys this is how it is in prison i've worked it's really i know how it is dude it's like 0.98

01:10:15.960 yeah no shit the sexual assault problem in the prison system so i'm just saying yeah 1.00

01:10:20.600 fuck off jose let them fuck whoever they want to that's right i do i do think it's funny 1.00

01:10:29.340 like tinder in prisons like let them date let them find each other why they have to hide it 1.00

01:10:33.840 jerry i'm not gonna lie prison sounds awesome if it's not for the lack of pussy but even then 1.00

01:10:38.900 that's also kind of weirdly what makes it awesome like in a fucked up kind of way guys get so focused 0.99

01:10:44.620 in there they can actually focus on other shit i've seen the strangest fucking smart there was there 0.99

01:10:50.400 was this dude there was this dude who like sucked any dick for ramen like any dick no matter how 1.00

01:10:58.620 fucking fatter they were and fucking uh he has visitation one day he has visitation one day 1.00

01:11:07.940 i fucking cutting out no we can hear you brother keep going we can hear you perfectly 1.00

01:11:14.680 hang on you keep you just keep doing that dude he's like he had visitation one day don't stop 1.00

01:11:22.040 your your wife would suck some dick for ramen fuck fuck out damn this chick says she sucks dick 1.00

01:11:26.860 for ramen so that's my wife by the way oh that's your wife okay i'm fucking cutting out 1.00

01:11:34.000 where are you at cole i'm gonna go hang out for a little while all right i'm back fuck what 1.00

01:11:40.020 happened you were sucking dick for ramen or something what happened dude oh yeah you were 1.00

01:11:44.540 talking about this guy this guy yeah yeah so this this fucking dude he would suck any dude's dick 1.00

01:11:49.420 for like for not for money you're not allowed to have money but for ramen and we he had visitation 1.00

01:11:53.640 one day this dude had a wife and five kids they fucking all piled into the fucking visitation 1.00

01:11:58.480 room we're like you have fucking kids dude oh my gosh they would fucking fuckers gotta eat 1.00

01:12:04.080 yeah but would you i mean what would you suck a dick for in in prison so you i mean what would 1.00

01:12:10.460 you what would it take for you to get like in for you're in prison and anything you want you 1.00

01:12:14.840 have to suck a dick anybody what was it i couldn't that's why i can't go to prison dude i won't fucking 1.00

01:12:22.900 i won't go like that's it i'll die in a shootout i thought you were the best um okay yeah you know 1.00

01:12:30.200 what you're right you're right fat dave i gotta own this shit who's ready boys wait whoa would you 1.00

01:12:38.200 suck dick to get out of prison now oh shit that's hard i might do that well it's hard it's right 1.00

01:12:43.980 i think the second dick move is if you knew you were getting like life in prison and like 1.00

01:12:49.940 you're gonna be there forever you go in there you put on the biggest lipstick dude you you get the 1.00

01:12:54.760 biggest you go to suck his dick and you bite that thing clean off and just fucking spit in his face 1.00

01:13:00.640 no one ever fucking oh it's a little dicky move yeah but then you don't get to get out of prison 1.00

01:13:05.940 stupid that was the thing yeah yeah so so it's a two-year sentence it's two-year sentence so it's 0.99

01:13:10.160 not life it's it's like two years it's basically like okay this is pretty long but it's also not 0.97

01:13:14.660 like long enough to where you can like ruin your life over it i mean i think i can make him come in

01:13:18.780 like i'm lifting probably oh dude oh two minutes for two years two minutes for two years dude that's 0.98

01:13:25.680 easy easy decision yeah i'm fucking putting on makeup i'm i'm wearing a dress i'm gonna fucking 0.99

01:13:31.800 look the part dude he's gonna be one and done dude you start playing with the balls a little bit 0.99

01:13:36.800 oh dude i'm giving him the whole rundown you're like oh you like that too a little bit you gotta

01:13:43.800 take red kool-aid and you use that and then you go to the weight the weights you go to the weight

01:13:49.840 machine then you take the grease off the weight machine and then you use it as mascara that's what 0.99

01:13:53.200 all right here's a good like on the inside of a man's ass all right guys here's a good 0.98

01:14:00.540 hypothetical here's a good hypothetical all right i've all this is a hypothetical i've used for a 0.98

01:14:04.520 long time we always thought it was hilarious all right well i have a different one actually you know 0.99

01:14:08.880 you're in prison like what how long of a prison sentence you need to be able to fuck a dude like 0.99

01:14:15.260 and i'm saying you fuck like like is it like drunk tank is it like life in prison like what are we 1.00

01:14:20.180 talking about like how long of a prison sentence you're like all i need to do is get locked in a 1.00

01:14:26.200 cage for 30 seconds i'm already taking off my pants we're doing this or what 1.00

01:14:30.120 they put you in there and you're automatically like okay who who's ass do i need to fuck to 1.00

01:14:37.300 get out of here right now jesus christ i can't have a cigarette just a matter of like you know 1.00

01:14:43.520 you're not gonna get laid so you're like you're there's no pussy around you know like i'm gonna be 1.00

01:14:47.220 here for 20 years or whatever like i might as well fuck some dudes might as well get used to this 1.00

01:14:51.080 like what is the amount of time oh okay so you're not saying you're getting out you're just like okay 1.00

01:14:55.920 how long would it take before you're just like that that asshole's looking pretty good yeah like 0.95

01:15:00.220 what is what is this sentence the criminal sentence that you have no parole because i know everyone's 1.00

01:15:05.260 like oh well maybe i get off for good behavior or get off an appeal or some dumb shit like no like 0.83

01:15:10.200 you legit know i'm doing 20 years or whatever what is the amount of time to which you're like 0.99

01:15:14.900 okay fine i'm gonna fucking i need to get my nut off so i'm gonna fuck like we're i'm gonna find 0.99

01:15:19.620 a dude i'm guessing we're also not married because conjugal visits are a thing no conjugal visits in 1.00

01:15:25.660 this hypothetical okay i mean you could always fuck a ceo like they're they're sluts dude they're skanks 1.00

01:15:30.840 stop fucking up this hypothetical sorry i'm sorry i honestly you really want me to fuck a guy 1.00

01:15:37.020 yes i want to know what is it what is it i'm just trying to get i really do everyone on this 0.99

01:15:43.360 episode wants me to fuck a dude i'm just trying to get a gay episode of a gay show so 1.00

01:15:48.940 listen dog fuck a dude and your wife has to fuck a woman years of my life i spent the first 15 years 1.00

01:15:56.560 of my life without getting laid i can spend another fucking however long that's what i'm saying i think 1.00

01:16:01.280 i could do i think i could go without it i'll just like i'll start lifting a fucking ton i'll get 0.99

01:16:06.380 fucking jacked and then i'll just jerk off to whatever thing i can get my hands on you can still 0.99

01:16:12.000 work out and fuck dudes in prison like those aren't like separate concepts 1.00

01:16:15.440 oftentimes some people say it's the best workout that you can get in prison 1.00

01:16:22.400 you put some weights around your ankles make them chase you around

01:16:30.560 you put you put you put you put the weight belt on and you're your hip thrusting you're like oh

01:16:35.740 yeah i'm just working like goku in dragon ball z how he put those weights on his wrist you take 0.99

01:16:41.040 him you drop them and they make a big around your waist yeah everybody knows you're fucking because 0.99

01:16:46.660 i can hear it in the like you drop your big weights and you're like oh okay those days fucking 1.00

01:16:51.660 right now yeah that's right you fucking pussies it would really only probably be like 1.00

01:16:56.760 i just think i can like i mean i jerked off i jerk off my hand is good enough i don't need a like a 1.00

01:17:09.200 hole why would i need a hole you fucking homo i don't know man why are you married 1.00

01:17:15.660 yeah well do you enjoy the company of women what do you mean you don't need a hole 1.00

01:17:21.460 you enjoy companionship with a woman you faggot 1.00

01:17:25.120 fucking faggot that's the gayest thing i've ever heard i don't need a hole i just choose to be around 1.00

01:17:32.460 women what kind of beta male shit is that 1.00

01:17:38.260 this is why our country this is why our country is falling apart back in the day like we we didn't 1.00

01:17:46.060 need women like we came over here we were chopping down trees we were fucking each other in the ass 1.00

01:17:50.500 and then these women came over and all of a sudden put the pussy on a pedestal and then ruined the 1.00

01:17:54.720 fucking nation oh my god really and now you can't tell who's a woman who has a hole this is where 1.00

01:18:01.920 you fucked up cole you you fucking let her listen to the podcast dude oh my gosh there's a fucking 1.00

01:18:08.320 woman here oh my gosh hey man did we did we touch on all the topics that we were going to hit the 1.00

01:18:14.320 night i don't think we touched any of them we briefly talked about tan lines i didn't think we

01:18:20.920 even like talk about the tan lines i was touching he said it and then moved past it

01:18:25.300 why did the why did the tan lines rock tell me why they don't oh oh because all right i i know

01:18:34.800 what this is about like uh because we talked about this on our server before me and uh birdie but no

01:18:39.540 dude it's just because it's like it's very very simple to understand you see the tan lines and they're 0.99

01:18:44.460 usually like a bikini or like underwear or something that's over those areas the tits and the pussy 1.00

01:18:48.620 and so you kind of imagine very at once you're using your imagination and you're not because 0.99

01:18:55.880 she's fucking nude i get what you're saying so she's wearing clothes and not at the same time so 1.00

01:19:00.720 you just kind of get the best of both worlds there well and it's also the thought like oh yeah this 0.99

01:19:05.220 trick like doesn't go nude men are super visual with when it comes to sexuality you know what i mean

01:19:09.660 so like yeah the tan lines just adds a whole other dynamic to it that's just hard is is lingerie

01:19:15.380 sexier than nude can be yeah but yeah a lot of times it is the answer yeah i mean i generally

01:19:25.200 prefer nude but like yeah i make my girlfriend i do guys i think i don't i'm not a fan of the tan

01:19:31.500 i'm just buying my wife an apron and they earn all of our other clothes somehow the the tan like the 0.97

01:19:36.700 the bra the like tan line shit like you see in porn is like weirdly more whorish in some sort of way 1.00

01:19:43.360 i'm like look at this fucking whore like why do you not have a fucking 1.00

01:19:46.720 put some clothes on you 1.00

01:19:48.620 they're like taking three cocks they're like taking three cocks he was like he sees the tan 1.00

01:19:53.960 oh you fucking whore 1.00

01:19:55.600 what about a spray tan like a normal human 1.00

01:20:00.880 put some clothes on

01:20:01.860 dude i gotta say james brought up the butt butt chin there is something to it i was thinking about

01:20:07.060 that that totally would work in prison you're like dude that like you could totally visualize 0.99

01:20:10.860 like some shit there like you know like look at that butt chin you know i guess i've got a gorgeous 1.00

01:20:16.220 fucking butt chin yeah davy has a fucking clutch 1.00

01:20:19.020 yeah 1.00

01:20:20.460 solidarity

01:20:23.740 when you're talking about tan lines i thought you're gonna say like because the uh 0.93

01:20:28.060 the the outline like the action where the like the fucking underwear is is actually wider so you like it better because 0.92

01:20:34.620 read this comment this is a great one 0.96

01:20:38.780 with conjure you see less woman so it's better 1.00

01:20:43.020 that's so fucking solid 0.99

01:20:46.220 women 1.00

01:20:48.060 well man the the taliban like have it right right they're covering up most of the woman 0.97

01:20:53.260 oh yeah dude they removed every image of women 0.99

01:20:58.300 that was the first thing they're like we invaded kabul 0.99

01:21:04.700 who oh this guy's with an asian chick so that's why he prefers the lingerie 0.99

01:21:08.700 yeah kicky walnuts

01:21:09.900 oh okay

01:21:10.460 yeah you can see that dude they're pretty slim

01:21:13.420 so you know they look better with with clothes on usually

01:21:17.020 yeah they look better dude

01:21:18.700 no disrespect i love it

01:21:20.780 because it's totally dude 0.99

01:21:22.780 fucking down syndrome eyes the fucking ching chong faces i don't want to see that 1.00

01:21:26.940 shit 1.00

01:21:29.580 like when you get them new they just look like little boys like there's literally no 1.00

01:21:33.340 difference

01:21:35.820 ornamental design you know lingerie on it's better you know

01:21:40.300 that's why so many uh lady boys so many traps are asian right because you can't even tell 0.99

01:21:44.540 right away and then it's like oh 1.00

01:21:45.500 shit shit from fucking thailand dude yeah ding dong bing bong came into you you came on the floor 1.00

01:21:54.460 i do what 1.00

01:21:55.180 i don't know where that was

01:21:59.180 i said you don't want to talk about thailand you and you came on the floor what's so 0.68

01:22:02.540 fucking hard to understand about that that's right 1.00

01:22:05.020 that's right would you fuck a lady 1.00

01:22:06.380 is that how you do it no hard fucking no i hate fucking trannies and i hate 1.00

01:22:10.780 fucking what i fuck a lady boy how about michael bolt on and he's 1.00

01:22:15.180 trans and he has pretty bolt-on tits 1.00

01:22:18.140 bolt-on tits 1.00

01:22:19.180 everything's fucking gay now dude everything is 1.00

01:22:23.180 fucking gay 1.00

01:22:24.140 are we talking pre or post-op here 1.00

01:22:27.660 post-op

01:22:28.220 no pre is just 0.98

01:22:29.740 you're just gay 1.00

01:22:30.700 i'm not 1.00

01:22:31.340 pre is just you're gay and then like post-op is like nah now you're trans 0.99

01:22:36.940 at least it's a hole at that point you know whatever you know 1.00

01:22:39.660 no by the way so so so so would so would you fuck blair white 1.00

01:22:43.500 i don't know 1.00

01:22:44.620 dude i don't know

01:22:45.900 is she posts nah nah natalie mars maybe

01:22:51.420 okay so okay so by the way by the way look up natalie mars right now if you know who that is 1.00

01:22:55.100 well well this is this is this is great because we always ask about uh would you 0.99

01:22:58.460 fuck buck angel or bailey jay yeah um would anyone fuck angel man or woman 1.00

01:23:07.820 that person just completely fuck their shit up no one wants that person 1.00

01:23:11.820 so okay imagine that imagine the pussy just the spread pussy on that oh yeah it's it's it smells 1.00

01:23:17.020 like fucking wood chips and cigars yeah no one knows who buck angel is it's just like it looks like 1.00

01:23:22.940 the man like it looks like joe rogan but he's got a thinly trimmed nice little neat 1.00

01:23:29.740 pussy it's a trained person okay so would you rather some 1.00

01:23:33.660 fucking man's pussy bro 1.00

01:23:35.820 would you rather fuck that or fuck a tranny with a bussy would you rather 1.00

01:23:39.900 fuck bussy or actual real bussy but it's on bailey it's on fucking buck angel so it's 1.00

01:23:44.540 funny you're seeing what the fair like no you're like that you're either fucking this is this is 1.00

01:23:51.900 a man's pussy or uh or a chick's a woman's pussy no a chick with a dick's ass a man's that wasn't 1.00

01:24:00.060 the question yeah no but this is funny because this is the kind of conversation that we're going 1.00

01:24:04.860 to be having to have with ourselves i don't know at least we're like peering into the future once 0.96

01:24:09.020 once once once having sex with trannies becomes mandatory in this country we're all going to be 1.00

01:24:16.140 having to ask like oh what would you do buck angel maybe like a natalie mars thing like you have we 1.00

01:24:20.060 have to fuck someone who's trans so it's the law yeah natalie so would you rather fuck a pussy 1.00

01:24:24.940 like and stay hetero or go with the chick with the dick no i'd rather be homo i'd lie to myself and i 1.00

01:24:33.500 i would go the natalie mars route over the book angel route so would i i i i'm still on i'm still 0.99

01:24:40.140 on the book angel thing i still would think i would that's not no no no no no no no

01:24:56.140 i would do i would only do missionary pitch black room and be like don't talk

01:25:02.320 Don't do anything.

01:25:03.500 You want to look him in the face.

01:25:05.680 Look at all these scenarios you're setting up to make it okay.

01:25:11.020 They're on the edge of the bed.

01:25:12.700 Yeah, Cole is like, I still want to feel the body. 0.99

01:25:15.540 Just pretend there's no dick. 0.99

01:25:17.060 It's one little thing you have to pretend it's not there. 0.99

01:25:18.880 That's it. 0.94

01:25:19.560 You're just so caught up in not being gay. 1.00

01:25:21.080 Instead, you have to pretend you're fucking a beautiful woman 1.00

01:25:23.800 instead of a beautiful man. 1.00

01:25:25.940 Your balls are definitely going to touch. 1.00

01:25:28.600 That's going to happen. 0.99

01:25:29.720 Your balls are going to... 0.99

01:25:31.100 Listen, dude. 1.00

01:25:32.900 You know how many balls are to your butthole? 1.00

01:25:35.540 Your butthole and balls are literally best friends. 1.00

01:25:38.080 You cannot ignore those fucking... 1.00

01:25:40.560 Those meaty thighs and pecs and the hair and the mahogany smell. 1.00

01:25:47.380 You can't ignore that.

01:25:49.840 I'm not trying to make this sound brosé.

01:25:53.100 Jesus.

01:25:54.100 I would love mahogany smell. 0.99

01:25:55.660 I don't want to fucking think about this. 0.96

01:25:57.380 I can't send images here. 0.96

01:25:58.960 All right, I'm posting this.

01:25:59.960 Everyone click on this link. 1.00

01:26:01.820 If you fuck that, you're gay. 1.00

01:26:03.540 Why are you trying to ruin cigars and mahogany? 1.00

01:26:05.340 I'm not clicking that.

01:26:06.860 Click it.

01:26:07.180 I'll look at your video game.

01:26:08.360 This is Book Angel. 1.00

01:26:08.920 I love mahogany, but I don't want to fuck something that smells like it. 1.00

01:26:12.160 A dick. 1.00

01:26:12.640 You're telling me if your wife smells like mahogany, you're going to give you an instant boner? 1.00

01:26:21.940 I just typed in Book Angel's Pussy, and that was... 1.00

01:26:24.300 I just clicked on the first name. 0.98

01:26:26.020 No, but yeah.

01:26:26.900 No.

01:26:27.180 I think this is just unquestionable.

01:26:28.860 Sorry, so I'm in the total minority. 1.00

01:26:32.400 I'm the gay one because I'm fucking the pussy, and y'all are the... 1.00

01:26:37.240 I think there is something to this, for sure, where maybe the biological sex doesn't matter 1.00

01:26:43.820 as much, and if they pass enough... 1.00

01:26:46.160 If Book Angel's Pussy is fake, let's say if Book Angel's Pussy was completely fake, and 1.00

01:26:51.740 it just looks exactly like a real pussy, you would definitely say no, right, Dave? 1.00

01:26:57.660 Yes. 1.00

01:26:58.120 Yes, if it was a fake one, yeah.

01:27:00.460 It has to be real. 0.97

01:27:01.580 You're just so caught up in not being gay that you become extra gay, because you're so caught 0.88

01:27:05.900 up in the perception of the liable. 0.97

01:27:07.100 See, I would rather just be straight.

01:27:09.180 If I had to pick one, I would rather... 0.99

01:27:10.920 If someone else could say you fucked a dude, then whether you're having a fun time. 1.00

01:27:15.580 Yeah, I would rather just say, okay, yeah, sure, I'm gay, but I'm fucking something that's 1.00

01:27:19.800 almost indistinguishable from a woman. 1.00

01:27:22.540 It's like a huge cock and balls that are, like, you could easily feel it about. 1.00

01:27:28.840 Yeah, but is it easy... 1.00

01:27:30.440 I feel like it's easier to go into a dick and balls than it is an entire male body. 1.00

01:27:36.480 Male is a faggot trans, is what I'm talking about. 1.00

01:27:39.080 Male is a faggot. 1.00

01:27:40.400 You're going to feel the balls, I swear to God. 1.00

01:27:43.360 There's... 0.99

01:27:43.800 Okay, Dave. 0.98

01:27:44.940 Dave, Dave, there are no balls in this equation. 0.98

01:27:47.960 We've rendered the balls inert. 0.99

01:27:50.400 Oh, okay, okay. 0.97

01:27:51.680 You're saying a post-op.

01:27:53.540 A post-op trans. 0.94

01:27:54.540 Let's say it's the perfect... 0.99

01:27:55.940 It's the year 2025, and we've perfected pussies and dicks on it. 1.00

01:28:02.420 Are you guys drinking on drugs? 0.99

01:28:05.660 By the way...

01:28:06.220 In a few short years after China invades. 0.93

01:28:09.540 So, that's why they invade, is because we perfected the technology.

01:28:13.780 And they need it for their robots.

01:28:16.000 We can build back better.

01:28:18.300 Oh, yeah, build back better. 0.99

01:28:20.420 Just out of fucking balloons, like, spare parts they just, like, have in their factories. 0.99

01:28:25.460 Just, like... 0.99

01:28:27.240 Also, how...

01:28:27.900 Okay, let me ask you this.

01:28:29.080 Lego pieces. 0.99

01:28:29.580 How are we perfecting pussy in this hypothetical situation? 1.00

01:28:32.880 The Japanese are already creating a robot for it. 1.00

01:28:34.980 Let's just fuck that, dude. 1.00

01:28:36.220 We're just gonna steal that. 1.00

01:28:37.320 They've had fucking pocket pussies for years. 1.00

01:28:40.640 I don't know. 1.00

01:28:41.120 Like, this is not a new technology. 1.00

01:28:43.660 Funnable aside, look at post-op vaginas and post-op penises. 1.00

01:28:47.840 I'm on it. 1.00

01:28:48.680 And tell me the big difference.

01:28:50.720 Because, like, post-op... 1.00

01:28:52.300 Like, making a vagina to... 1.00

01:28:53.780 Don't get me wrong. 1.00

01:28:54.520 The vagina is like, yeah, there are some intricacies to it. 1.00

01:28:56.520 For the most part, it's just a whole. 1.00

01:28:57.920 A penis is like... 1.00

01:28:59.720 Like, look at post-op penises and tell me they aren't fucking... 1.00

01:29:03.880 They're nowhere near close to perfecting it. 1.00

01:29:06.060 They're nowhere near...

01:29:06.640 No. 1.00

01:29:07.580 Jose, you really are a fucking vet, dude. 1.00

01:29:09.600 Like, wherever it's wet, I got it. 1.00

01:29:12.600 You know how they make it?

01:29:13.760 I don't care if it's a lot of mate.

01:29:14.820 They look like... 1.00

01:29:15.740 They look like little wieners dipped in hot fucking oil. 1.00

01:29:18.740 That's what they look like. 1.00

01:29:19.900 Dude, they literally, like, take the fucking dick skin... 1.00

01:29:21.720 I don't want to see that. 1.00

01:29:22.760 And they make a hole out of, like... 1.00

01:29:24.340 They invert your dick skin like a banana. 1.00

01:29:26.860 Imagine, like, you peel it a banana. 1.00

01:29:28.400 It's like, okay, oh, now I kind of have a hole here.

01:29:30.700 You know what I mean?

01:29:31.400 And then you just kind of, like, take those flaps

01:29:32.920 and you just fold them in on itself. 0.99

01:29:34.320 That's fucking disgusting. 1.00

01:29:36.520 And they have a problem with the... 1.00

01:29:38.980 They stink like shit because it's rotting meat 1.00

01:29:42.160 in their fucking footsies. 1.00

01:29:42.920 Yeah, it's literally... 1.00

01:29:43.960 It's an open wound.

01:29:45.200 It's an open wound.

01:29:45.900 It's a serious problem, too.

01:29:47.480 Like, people kill themselves over that 0.98

01:29:49.720 because it's not at all what they fucking thought it was. 0.99

01:29:51.500 They shouldn't kill themselves. 0.99

01:29:52.420 Like I said, I prefer... 0.97

01:29:53.540 Look up neo-vagina rot. 1.00

01:29:57.240 Well, at least... 0.99

01:29:58.040 Neo-reactinary vagina. 1.00

01:29:59.620 It's microflora of the penile skin-lined neo-vagina 1.00

01:30:03.520 of transsexual. 1.00

01:30:04.300 Yeah, people get fucking... 1.00

01:30:05.680 It stinks. 1.00

01:30:07.120 It's rotting meat.

01:30:08.580 They're digging a hole inside of them.

01:30:10.400 It's easier to dig a hole than build a pole.

01:30:13.100 Do what you want with yourself. 0.82

01:30:15.640 I don't care if you want to hack off your wiener 1.00

01:30:17.460 or flip your fucking vagina inside out. 1.00

01:30:19.920 Like, do what you want. 1.00

01:30:20.860 But that never made sense to me.

01:30:22.800 Like...

01:30:23.360 No, don't do it.

01:30:24.580 Your technology is not there. 0.97

01:30:26.400 That's like telling a retard with scissors, 1.00

01:30:29.460 like, do whatever you want. 0.99

01:30:30.780 Yeah, just do whatever you want.

01:30:32.060 Stretch something out. 0.99

01:30:32.980 I don't give a fuck. 1.00

01:30:33.960 Dude, these people are mentally deranged. 1.00

01:30:36.100 You know what I mean? 0.98

01:30:36.480 They need help.

01:30:37.220 Have a ball, kid.

01:30:38.040 I want to see it.

01:30:39.120 How do you think you're just going to, like,

01:30:40.820 take this thing that's a pretty intricate concept, 0.90

01:30:43.400 your sexual organ, 0.94

01:30:44.640 and just make it the opposite 0.82

01:30:45.720 and it's somehow going to be okay?

01:30:47.560 Like, you better be okay 0.98

01:30:49.440 with not having a functional sexual organ 0.98

01:30:51.560 for the rest of your life. 0.74

01:30:52.620 Because that's basically what you're doing.

01:30:53.960 So...

01:30:54.880 But whatever, dude.

01:30:55.860 It's basically circumcision. 0.87

01:30:58.060 Yeah.

01:30:59.040 Yes, I mean, it's time for...

01:31:00.640 The second cut. 0.99

01:31:02.800 This sounds like a fucking... 1.00

01:31:04.220 This sounds like a movie sequel, 1.00

01:31:05.500 like, getting my dick cut off. 1.00

01:31:07.760 The second cut. 1.00

01:31:09.180 Circumcision.

01:31:09.580 I wasn't even cut one.

01:31:10.640 The sequel. 1.00

01:31:11.860 God damn. 0.99

01:31:13.060 Well, yeah, and then once you do that, 1.00

01:31:14.300 you're just being sounded 0.81

01:31:15.980 every time you have sex from then on. 0.98

01:31:17.880 Dude, we're gonna... 0.81

01:31:18.420 Can you imagine?

01:31:19.000 I hope this catches on

01:31:20.840 and people get butt hurt about this episode.

01:31:22.860 I hope.

01:31:23.320 Because we've had a few episodes

01:31:24.300 where people get re about...

01:31:25.940 We're getting less re lately

01:31:27.120 because I feel like people know 0.99

01:31:28.120 we don't give a shit 0.99

01:31:28.860 and we just double down. 0.97

01:31:30.140 But this one will be beautiful

01:31:31.680 when we get some re.

01:31:33.420 We're very transphobic here.

01:31:35.340 I think we hit all of the...

01:31:37.600 Thank God.

01:31:39.520 We hit all of the controversial topics.

01:31:41.720 We hit race.

01:31:42.540 We hit sex. 0.99

01:31:43.620 We hit trannies. 1.00

01:31:45.420 Spike's gonna disavow us. 0.98

01:31:46.720 We hit trannies all the time, actually. 1.00

01:31:49.860 I don't give a fuck. 0.99

01:31:51.340 Dude, I gotta say, though, 0.99

01:31:52.400 I know you guys disagree,

01:31:53.840 but Jared was 100% right.

01:31:55.420 Spike is a watered-down leftist. 0.99

01:31:56.760 I don't give a fuck 1.00

01:31:57.320 who gets butter but of that. 0.99

01:31:58.980 100%. 0.98

01:31:59.340 You know when I fucking left that episode, 0.98

01:32:01.340 I legit was angry. 0.99

01:32:02.520 I rage quit 0.99

01:32:03.400 because he wouldn't fucking do the game. 1.00

01:32:05.180 Fucking homo. 1.00

01:32:05.940 Yeah, we had a game of Kiker Reich, 1.00

01:32:09.240 which was,

01:32:09.880 I guess if this is the...

01:32:11.700 If this is Israelis talking about Palestinians 0.87

01:32:15.520 or the Nazis talking about...

01:32:17.740 And we watered it down for him.

01:32:18.260 Oh, that's so good, dude.

01:32:21.100 You know what?

01:32:23.080 Give me a second.

01:32:24.700 Give me a second.

01:32:25.300 I gotta rant for this

01:32:26.800 because I get how you feel

01:32:28.060 it was just kind of offensive,

01:32:29.320 but the whole concept was like, 0.92

01:32:31.060 hey, look how shitty 1.00

01:32:32.780 the fucking Israeli state is 1.00

01:32:34.300 and how racist they are 1.00

01:32:35.540 and if there's any other person,

01:32:37.720 you guys would be raging out.

01:32:39.960 But oh, this is a little bit offensive,

01:32:41.640 so I don't give you that. 0.99

01:32:41.940 Any kind of ethnostate shit. 0.99

01:32:43.600 Dude, that's genius. 1.00

01:32:45.000 I applaud you on that one.

01:32:45.820 That's a good game.

01:32:46.720 We were thinking about that.

01:32:47.360 That's awesome.

01:32:48.140 Yeah, we played it with Masha last week,

01:32:50.580 so people can go find that episode.

01:32:52.640 Yeah, no, I don't care.

01:32:54.260 But then I'd have to listen to all of it.

01:32:56.120 I'm definitely not listening to all of it.

01:32:56.980 Yeah.

01:32:58.380 Anyone else was stuck around for it.

01:32:59.660 I'm sorry.

01:33:00.240 I lost a lot of respect there.

01:33:01.620 I thought he was kind of cool. 1.00

01:33:02.540 That was fucking gay. 1.00

01:33:03.360 That was some politician bullshit. 1.00

01:33:05.100 I'm sorry. 1.00

01:33:05.600 Fuck off. 1.00

01:33:06.180 So now he's a fucking leftist 1.00

01:33:08.400 because he didn't play a game. 1.00

01:33:09.860 Yeah.

01:33:10.500 That's great logic.

01:33:12.500 Dude, he came on the show.

01:33:13.340 No, Jared from thehopping.org

01:33:15.960 sees a watered-down leftist.

01:33:17.700 So, I mean, he's not a leftist,

01:33:19.200 but he's leftist adjacent.

01:33:22.180 He's watered down.

01:33:23.240 They don't even drink water.

01:33:24.300 Was it seltzer water?

01:33:25.680 Hell yeah.

01:33:26.380 I don't know, man.

01:33:27.280 I think he's better than a lot of those people.

01:33:29.100 He did come on our show

01:33:30.760 and, like, you know,

01:33:31.780 handle it.

01:33:32.000 Oh, gross. 1.00

01:33:33.020 Handle it shit. 1.00

01:33:33.860 Dude, he had this, like, 1.00

01:33:35.560 fucking consternation thing the whole time. 1.00

01:33:37.720 That was so gay. 1.00

01:33:40.080 He shit on us. 1.00

01:33:41.020 Like, from the beginning, 1.00

01:33:42.200 he was just like,

01:33:43.180 I just about,

01:33:43.900 he actually mentioned the was-were meme,

01:33:46.140 and he was just like,

01:33:47.040 that was terrible.

01:33:47.300 I'm going to have to look this up.

01:33:48.400 Is that still around?

01:33:49.600 We can find that and listen to that?

01:33:50.980 I bet it's cringe,

01:33:51.800 but I do want to hear it.

01:33:53.180 It was awesome.

01:33:54.140 It's the Rothberg.

01:33:55.600 You know what?

01:33:56.100 Hey, Toad,

01:33:56.400 do you still have a couple of those quotes?

01:33:57.960 We can do a couple of those quotes right now,

01:34:00.020 if you still have them.

01:34:01.040 You want to do it?

01:34:02.640 Yeah, give him a couple of them.

01:34:04.260 Oh, you have some clips?

01:34:05.440 Before we get out of here?

01:34:06.340 No, just some of the quotes.

01:34:08.320 Here, we'll just give you some of the quotes

01:34:09.420 that you can-

01:34:09.920 From Kiker Reich. 0.92

01:34:11.400 I met this dude a couple weeks ago,

01:34:13.340 and the first thing he says was like,

01:34:14.980 do you know I could eat 10 crabs in a row?

01:34:16.580 And I was like, no, tell me about it.

01:34:18.580 And he was like, I just came from a crabby,

01:34:20.320 and I just ate the 10 in a row.

01:34:21.820 And I was like, that's a great story, dude.

01:34:24.000 I talked about Spike?

01:34:25.300 Yeah.

01:34:26.820 He's autistic, dude. 0.99

01:34:27.780 What do you want? 0.55

01:34:29.800 Hey, but he can eat 10 crabs in a row, apparently.

01:34:32.860 It's information I didn't ever need to know,

01:34:35.500 but he can do it.

01:34:36.320 And he did that right in his bedroom.

01:34:39.120 What'd you say?

01:34:40.540 He said he did it right in his bedroom,

01:34:41.900 and then they went to the crab shack.

01:34:43.560 All right, guys, we're at like an hour and a half.

01:34:45.480 Are you guys,

01:34:45.920 and I'm starting to get like a little drunk 0.98

01:34:47.620 and saying shit I probably shouldn't 0.98

01:34:48.700 and get myself in trouble lately. 0.98

01:34:49.900 I don't think I'm getting Spike on my show anytime soon, no. 0.98

01:34:52.580 But I don't fucking care. 0.93

01:34:56.980 Davey, line up Spike to come on our show. 0.98

01:34:59.440 Oh, yeah, dude.

01:35:00.720 I have his email,

01:35:02.060 and I just keep forgetting the, you know,

01:35:03.540 actual email.

01:35:04.660 All right, we'll get him on.

01:35:06.160 By the way,

01:35:06.620 do lay off the offensive humor, okay, guys?

01:35:10.740 Give us the exact questions,

01:35:12.200 and we'll read it to him.

01:35:12.940 I'll read it to him.

01:35:13.520 We'll come up with a different name.

01:35:15.780 Hey, Spike, remember me?

01:35:17.260 Nope.

01:35:17.560 We're good friends.

01:35:18.440 We're going to play a game?

01:35:19.660 So, Keiko Reich was the original name.

01:35:22.240 For him, we used Zion or Zyklon.

01:35:24.800 Because we are.

01:35:25.800 Oh, that's so good, dude.

01:35:28.480 Did you see the Indians come out? 0.98

01:35:30.520 Their new little COVID vaccine,

01:35:32.560 they're calling it Zykov-D?

01:35:35.360 Z-Y, it's, this hat's spelled Z-Y-C-O-V-D.

01:35:41.380 They're just leaning into it. 1.00

01:35:42.720 What the fuck? 1.00

01:35:44.720 How fucking dumb can we make this thing? 1.00

01:35:47.180 You idiots. 1.00

01:35:47.700 Let's go buy our shit. 1.00

01:35:48.760 You fucking morons. 1.00

01:35:50.420 Oh, man. 1.00

01:35:51.240 Busting out laughing in a conference room.

01:35:52.920 Let's call it Zyklon-D. 1.00

01:35:54.420 Don't fucking buy it. 1.00

01:35:55.360 I don't give a fuck. 1.00

01:35:56.820 We're all fucking idiots anyway. 1.00

01:35:58.260 Fucking morons. 1.00

01:35:59.220 They don't know history anyway. 1.00

01:36:00.280 This is like in the U.S.,

01:36:04.440 for COVID vaccine, 0.97

01:36:06.120 they were just giving it to the black people 0.99

01:36:07.360 in Tuskegee.

01:36:08.440 They were like,

01:36:08.800 yeah, we're just going to call it

01:36:09.440 the Tuskegee vaccine, 0.99

01:36:11.200 and then just give it to all the black people. 0.98

01:36:12.740 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1.00

01:36:13.220 They don't know history.

01:36:16.020 Yeah.

01:36:18.380 What's that, Tuskegee? 0.99

01:36:20.060 That Tuskegee shit? 1.00

01:36:21.080 That's some good shit. 1.00

01:36:22.160 We'll just call it the Tuskegee, 1.00

01:36:23.960 not experiment.

01:36:25.460 That's not a good word.

01:36:26.340 Tuskegee, like, try. 0.77

01:36:27.940 Tuskegee trial.

01:36:28.820 The Tuskegee trial.

01:36:30.280 Tuskegee lean? 0.57

01:36:31.000 What does Tuskegee trial? 0.99

01:36:32.340 Hey, hey, give me some bitches. 1.00

01:36:34.260 What does black people like to buy? 1.00

01:36:36.420 Tuskegee sneakers. 1.00

01:36:37.980 I see it in a whole fucking rap 0.99

01:36:39.960 about how the vaccine 0.99

01:36:41.380 isn't another Tuskegee experiment. 0.99

01:36:44.300 That's fucked up. 0.97

01:36:45.900 Also, the other, 0.99

01:36:46.620 by the way,

01:36:47.140 another game you might like

01:36:48.140 that we played,

01:36:48.780 what was the one with the raps? 0.71

01:36:51.260 It was Kang or Slang. 0.99

01:36:53.760 That's what it was.

01:36:54.020 Hell yeah, dude.

01:36:55.060 Yeah, it was quotes

01:36:56.720 from black Hebrew Israelites

01:36:59.340 shouting on the street 0.98

01:37:00.400 or gangster rap songs. 1.00

01:37:02.780 Holy crap. 0.98

01:37:03.400 And they were all 1.00

01:37:04.080 very anti-white people. 0.93

01:37:06.160 Oh, dude, 0.96

01:37:06.660 I want to play this game.

01:37:07.900 This sounds awesome.

01:37:09.200 Kang or Slang 1.00

01:37:09.760 was actually really fun.

01:37:10.680 The Saiyan's icon was just so good,

01:37:11.540 though,

01:37:11.680 just because of the, like,

01:37:12.420 actual,

01:37:13.200 had it,

01:37:13.520 well, it's silly.

01:37:14.460 It actually had a legit,

01:37:15.580 good, like,

01:37:16.440 message behind it,

01:37:17.400 though.

01:37:17.720 Like,

01:37:18.040 right.

01:37:19.540 But,

01:37:19.720 I'm like Kang or Slang, 1.00

01:37:20.880 which is just really funny.

01:37:22.380 Yeah,

01:37:22.780 that was just my greatest game.

01:37:24.260 I met both.

01:37:24.840 All right, guys.

01:37:25.340 Guys,

01:37:25.620 we're at, like,

01:37:26.040 hour four,

01:37:26.680 and if you guys aren't ready 0.98

01:37:27.480 to kill it, 0.99

01:37:27.860 I'm about to bounce. 0.99

01:37:28.740 So,

01:37:28.960 I don't know if you guys

01:37:29.420 want to do plugs.

01:37:29.620 I gotta go pee pee.

01:37:30.640 Hey.

01:37:32.040 We can do the plugs.

01:37:33.840 Yeah.

01:37:34.680 No plugs.

01:37:35.040 Derek,

01:37:35.200 what were you gonna say,

01:37:35.680 Derek? 1.00

01:37:36.040 Plugs are gay. 1.00

01:37:38.120 That's all. 1.00

01:37:38.460 All right.

01:37:40.040 All right,

01:37:41.620 goodbye.

01:37:43.120 Did we just end this?

01:37:44.460 Yeah.

01:37:45.620 If you want to talk to me,

01:37:46.700 find me.

01:37:47.740 Yeah.

01:37:48.280 We don't,

01:37:49.200 intern, 1.00

01:37:50.120 can you shut the fuck up, 1.00

01:37:50.960 please? 1.00

01:37:51.660 Oh.

01:37:52.320 Actually,

01:37:52.860 intern,

01:37:53.540 I'm gonna need you to

01:37:54.600 rip off somebody's game 0.64

01:37:55.780 for tomorrow's show,

01:37:56.700 okay?

01:37:57.060 All right,

01:37:57.220 bye.

01:37:58.320 Bye.

01:38:04.160 He's at Jose Galisson

01:38:05.360 if you want to find him.

01:38:06.440 You probably know 0.99

01:38:06.960 where the fuck he's at. 1.00

01:38:07.720 It's fine. 0.99

01:38:07.960 Go to his Patreon

01:38:09.240 and give him money 1.00

01:38:09.980 because he's a fucking grifter. 1.00

01:38:11.800 Did Derek plug our shit 1.00

01:38:12.940 or no? 1.00

01:38:13.520 No, he didn't.

01:38:14.360 Go ahead,

01:38:14.880 David.

01:38:15.180 Go ahead.

01:38:16.220 All right,

01:38:16.460 so we're

01:38:16.780 Libertarian Friendship Simulator

01:38:18.180 and we're sticking

01:38:19.060 hard to the name

01:38:19.740 Libertarian

01:38:20.060 because all the 1.00

01:38:20.720 faggots and the 1.00

01:38:21.620 faggers are, 1.00

01:38:22.840 I said faggots twice. 1.00

01:38:24.020 You're all faggots. 1.00

01:38:25.240 Faggots. 1.00

01:38:26.520 The faggots 1.00

01:38:27.440 and the post-Libertarian 1.00

01:38:28.400 faggots, 1.00

01:38:29.220 they all are against 1.00

01:38:30.560 Libertarians,

01:38:31.240 so now we have to

01:38:31.940 double down on it.

01:38:33.240 Yeah.

01:38:33.460 Hell yeah.

01:38:34.720 Just out of spite.

01:38:36.100 And by the way,

01:38:36.900 they can find you

01:38:38.260 anywhere, right?

01:38:39.580 Yeah,

01:38:40.000 find us anywhere. 1.00

01:38:40.780 Type that shit in 1.00

01:38:41.500 anywhere, 1.00

01:38:42.020 you'll fucking find it 0.99

01:38:42.800 and I promise you 0.99

01:38:44.080 we're still gonna be

01:38:44.760 the most offensive

01:38:45.780 Libertarian podcast

01:38:46.600 on the net. 1.00

01:38:47.700 Damn you! 1.00

01:38:49.060 We're trying. 1.00

01:38:50.060 We're trying, 1.00

01:38:50.720 motherfucker. 1.00

01:38:52.900 We're offering you 1.00

01:38:53.760 some competition

01:38:54.460 at least,

01:38:54.980 but yes,

01:38:55.340 I will put the links

01:38:56.460 in the show description.

01:38:59.920 Who can be more

01:39:00.480 racist, 0.99

01:39:01.060 sexist, 0.84

01:39:01.400 and transphobic?

01:39:04.180 Well,

01:39:04.640 we've got 107

01:39:05.820 episodes of racism,

01:39:07.020 so.

01:39:07.900 Well,

01:39:08.100 we're gonna go on

01:39:08.680 Timcast and say 0.99

01:39:10.780 nigger, 1.00

01:39:11.260 so fuck you. 1.00

01:39:13.140 Good luck. 1.00

01:39:13.960 But no,

01:39:16.340 did you not know this?

01:39:16.900 We got invited

01:39:17.380 on the Timcast.

01:39:19.080 Really?

01:39:19.900 Yeah.

01:39:20.160 Yeah.

01:39:20.920 Kind of.

01:39:22.000 Basically.

01:39:22.940 No,

01:39:23.140 get out there.

01:39:24.200 No,

01:39:24.500 make it happen,

01:39:25.300 dude.

01:39:25.500 And I know

01:39:27.380 they're gonna get

01:39:27.780 super pissed,

01:39:28.440 but I think

01:39:28.760 I can,

01:39:29.160 I think

01:39:29.520 I can do it,

01:39:30.160 but just really

01:39:30.660 in my breath,

01:39:31.240 just get done

01:39:31.740 saying something

01:39:32.220 and be like,

01:39:32.920 and that's,

01:39:33.880 and that's what

01:39:34.260 the Fed kind of

01:39:34.880 does, 0.99

01:39:35.640 nigger. 1.00

01:39:35.860 I'm sorry, 0.99

01:39:39.520 what was that

01:39:40.300 last thing?

01:39:41.020 Oh,

01:39:41.340 what?

01:39:41.740 I said that's

01:39:42.200 what the Fed

01:39:42.460 does.

01:39:42.780 I said,

01:39:43.140 yeah.

01:39:46.000 I just,

01:39:46.680 I was saying

01:39:47.200 that last thing.

01:39:49.320 I didn't say 0.98

01:39:50.120 shit, 0.99

01:39:50.700 I just said 1.00

01:39:51.120 that's how

01:39:51.420 you can end

01:39:51.820 the Fed.

01:39:52.760 Yeah,

01:39:53.000 that's how

01:39:53.500 you can end

01:39:54.260 the Fed 0.99

01:39:54.640 and on the nigger. 1.00

01:39:56.500 Yeah, 0.98

01:39:56.960 that's it,

01:39:57.260 that's it,

01:39:57.620 that's totally it,

01:39:58.180 that's all I was

01:39:58.720 saying,

01:39:59.060 Tim.

01:39:59.560 You can go ahead,

01:40:00.320 ask something else, 1.00

01:40:01.500 fucking idiot. 1.00

01:40:02.340 Please ask 1.00

01:40:02.820 something else.

01:40:03.360 All right,

01:40:05.820 guys, 0.99

01:40:06.220 it was fucking 1.00

01:40:06.620 fun of shit, 1.00

01:40:07.140 though. 0.99

01:40:07.440 Yeah,

01:40:07.720 oh yeah,

01:40:08.140 and then you can

01:40:08.900 find me at

01:40:09.440 Fat Comic Dave

01:40:10.540 on Twitter

01:40:11.160 and then Tower

01:40:12.240 Gang Pod on

01:40:12.900 Twitter is where

01:40:13.560 the Tower Power

01:40:15.780 Hour Twitter is.

01:40:17.620 We're on 1.00

01:40:18.660 fucking, 1.00

01:40:20.580 what's his, 1.00

01:40:20.960 Janky's podcast,

01:40:22.140 like Tyler Janky's

01:40:22.860 podcast tomorrow.

01:40:24.060 Yeah,

01:40:24.280 the libertarian

01:40:25.060 podcast review.

01:40:26.700 Yeah,

01:40:26.960 next week is

01:40:27.700 Ashton Birdie,

01:40:28.920 correct?

01:40:29.400 No,

01:40:29.940 Phil Labonte

01:40:30.640 is next week

01:40:31.320 and then Ashton

01:40:31.900 Birdie is the

01:40:32.380 week after that.

01:40:33.600 That's right,

01:40:34.060 that's right.

01:40:34.600 So,

01:40:35.440 we're gonna have

01:40:35.760 fun with those.

01:40:37.940 And then Toad,

01:40:38.620 you can go ahead

01:40:39.080 and then you can

01:40:40.080 sign us out.

01:40:41.420 That's it.

01:40:42.640 Anarcho Toad on

01:40:43.500 Twitter,

01:40:43.900 I think everybody

01:40:44.380 knows that.

01:40:46.040 All right.

01:40:47.480 We'll see you guys.

01:40:48.440 Peace out,

01:40:49.000 everyone.

01:40:49.360 Peace,

01:40:49.680 dude. 1.00

01:40:49.880 I'll go faggots. 1.00

Tower Gang - September 30, 2021

Ep 37 - Super Soaker w⧸ Libertarian Friendship Simulator

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript