Ep 59 - Neg Her - LP FL Recap w⧸ Duke Chastain & Flint
Episode Stats
Length
1 hour and 52 minutes
Words per Minute
205.11467
Hate Speech Sentences
138
Summary
Flint and Duke are joined by their good friends Flint and Justine to talk about a variety of topics, including the latest episode of Veep, and a whole lot more. Also, we talk about the new Star Trek: The Next Generation episode, and the fact that we don't really know what it's about.
Transcript
00:00:04.700
Women jerk off dicks like fucking they're an unruly ferret.
00:00:16.160
You see, the socialists don't have an accurate answer for this, and she needs to account for it.
00:00:25.980
We can stay horny and retarded longer than she can stay sane.
00:00:33.100
Ben, maybe you could say we had sex, but we didn't fuck.
00:00:45.360
Welcome, everybody, to another episode of Tower Power Hour.
00:00:58.560
I just did five hours of straight streaming, and I'm out of my fucking mind.
00:01:04.900
Were you saying, let's go Brandon the whole time, though?
00:01:30.340
Did you piss in a bottle like Jose does whenever he's just...
00:01:34.620
Which, by the way, Jose does piss in a bottle sometimes during the show.
00:01:40.400
I just went and watched Burt Kreischer last night.
00:01:43.580
And Jose, literally, if you see him, just kind of, like, he kind of...
00:01:51.140
He actually does piss in a bottle during the show.
00:01:53.540
I'm going to have a look on my face when I start watching, dude.
00:02:02.560
If he can't hold his fucking urine for an hour and a half, I'm getting nervous for him.
00:02:08.960
I mean, he's pretty low ground, so maybe there's a lot of pressure on the prostate from gravity.
00:02:17.380
I was wondering why he always had that look of relief on his face at some point during the show.
00:02:22.980
I thought he was just coming, but if he isn't...
00:02:33.780
I mean, if it's a good show, I can definitely go another second round, you know?
00:02:47.860
So we do a literal circle jerk, and then we do a figurative one during the show.
00:02:51.760
Then afterwards, we also do circle jerk afterwards, because we're like, that was pretty good,
00:02:56.480
That was really funny, Clint, with what you said.
00:02:59.180
That's our whole chat afterwards, just patting ourselves on the back.
00:03:04.920
The quality of the orgasm I have after is directly proportional to how closely I rip
00:03:14.300
You guys ever get in a figure eight circle, or figure eight jerk, where it's like a circle
00:03:21.180
So if you're in the middle, you're jerking off, like, multiple dudes at once instead of...
00:03:24.840
That takes a lot of skill and a lot of molly, bud.
00:03:31.540
It's very simple, you know, and you just gotta reach side to side.
00:03:35.140
Yeah, eight, you gotta go between legs, you gotta, you know...
00:03:37.940
You're getting comfortable, I mean, like, circle jerk, like, that's very...
00:03:41.540
You don't need to know your partner, you know, you don't need to know your neighbor,
00:03:44.540
but you're on through the legs, you're like kissing necks, like, circle...
00:03:52.860
By the way, the reason Flint and Duke are on tonight is because last weekend, me, Flint,
00:03:59.020
Duke, Clint, and also Jose, but he's not here tonight, we're all at the LP Florida Convention,
00:04:07.060
So we're just gonna relay some of the stories, because it was pretty wild, some of the shit
00:04:13.740
Yeah, Toad was not there, so he's just gonna listen tonight and just throw in every so
00:04:22.100
Flint reached another ethereal plane at some point.
00:04:25.340
He was looking down on all of us, just do things to his body.
00:04:36.160
Yeah, Clint was doing astral projection, but by that, I mean he was cumming on other dudes'
00:04:54.360
I don't think I've ever in my life had a more overt sexual pickup from a dude than I did
00:05:13.520
I can't remember what he was saying, but he definitely laid a line on you.
00:05:26.340
This is at the time where he is absolutely blasted.
00:05:39.380
Like, I, I got there with Elizabeth, uh, like Thursday morning to do, we stayed at Duke's
00:05:43.920
house literally Thursday morning at four o'clock in the morning.
00:05:49.040
And so we had to stand out of his house, outside his house.
00:05:50.840
I wake up to messages saying that he's pissing in my bushes out front.
00:06:02.120
Usually when I stay in another dude's house, I just piss on his wife, actually, to mark
00:06:06.360
my territory, but the couch, the TV, it's all mine now.
00:06:10.860
If you, if you pulled that shit at my house, Toad, you would not survive it.
00:06:16.940
So unless, unless you and Ashton did something over this weekend.
00:06:23.660
You got to give like a, you got to give them a couple of strokes first, you know, lick the
00:06:33.480
So I feel like she would be down with golden showers, right?
00:06:38.840
I mean, it's half the reason why anyone would vote for him.
00:06:47.560
So I don't know, I don't, I don't know if we're all talking about that anymore.
00:06:52.960
We have to get rid of Anastasia and everything like that because the Russians are so fucking
00:06:56.660
I only drink Tito's vodka now because I'm a patriot.
00:07:08.620
In the morning, by the way, like, so Friday morning, we get up there and Duke is like,
00:07:16.580
I'm like, all right, this is, this is starting the weekend out right.
00:07:19.420
Like we smoke, he's like, he, he smokes a bowl and then he rolls a joint and we smoke
00:07:24.180
I mean, it was like, and then we just, and then he was like Moscow mules, Moscow mules.
00:07:32.020
Like we're all before any of us had anything to eat.
00:07:51.020
I thought the Moscow mules were just the Russian chicks that you had come into the convention
00:07:58.840
And not, not confused with the Moscow cows who are like eights or not eights.
00:08:12.240
Which, so the highlight for me of the weekend, I'm going to go right off it.
00:08:16.880
Was meeting Dave Smith for the first time and fucking Duke.
00:08:20.620
Like when I, so we're walking into the convention.
00:08:30.320
Getting fucking shit faced midway through the day.
00:08:32.600
And Cole keeps feeling like, oh, I mean, I've never met Dave in person.
00:08:37.880
He's like a fucking little girl getting ready to meet like the Jonas Brothers or some shit
00:08:42.580
And so we finally get to the convention as, as we walk in, he, Dave Smith is like right
00:08:48.040
in front of us, like down the hallway, surrounded by people.
00:08:50.940
He's like, oh, how am I going to go up and like say hi to him?
00:08:53.520
So I grabbed Cole by his like shoulders and start running him towards Dave.
00:09:14.340
Dave put me down three shots to the chest, one of the head.
00:09:18.360
Dude, Mozambique, that fucker, I knew it was coming.
00:09:20.420
I mean, fuck, he had protesters and shit, you know.
00:09:25.940
That's not something you want to hear is a Jew, you know.
00:09:48.300
Yeah, Pennsylvania is just going to be Waldenberger and that Henry guy.
00:10:09.560
And, like, and he, like, looks at me and he was like, you're not that big.
00:10:18.040
He literally spins me around and, like, starts smacking my face.
00:10:41.900
Because when Dave Smith met me, he just started jerking me off.
00:10:52.360
If it wasn't for Dave Smith, Cole would not be anything.
00:11:00.240
But that night was whenever the meme of me, like, explaining something to Dave.
00:11:09.840
Because, I mean, Clint was right beside Dave the whole night.
00:11:15.660
I mean, they were, I mean, just two feet in a pod.
00:11:25.560
But, yeah, I drove him to the Friday night speech.
00:11:29.040
Which I was fortunate enough to have a good angle on to video of.
00:11:35.320
I think it has, like, 60,000 views or something crazy.
00:11:47.000
Because we were out down by the beach, smoking and drinking.
00:11:54.120
Oh, that's what was happening while we were, like, should we go in the water?
00:12:11.240
It totally had, like, American Revolution vibes with, like, Dave Smith up there fucking laying down the law as to what we're going to do to, you know, cause the revolution or something.
00:12:23.220
And then he wanted to go home early, so did Angela.
00:12:28.620
And then on Saturday night, I got to give my first ever live talk to a crowd, which was amazing.
00:12:34.580
It was only a panel, so it wasn't really a speech.
00:12:36.540
But, honestly, I do a lot better with that anyways, because, obviously, I have no shortage of capacity to just fucking rant on things.
00:12:47.160
But now, because that was successful, I have been booked for four more state conventions where I'm actually going to be giving 30 to 60-minute speeches.
00:12:59.140
By the way, so, during that, it was, I mean, so you and Dave did a great job.
00:13:18.900
So, that morning or that, like, afternoon, like, at, like, 12 o'clock, me, Flint, and Davey, the previously known as Libertarian Friendship Simulator, all did a podcast together at the convention.
00:13:31.700
Yeah, the new project that we're going to try to do.
00:13:33.900
But then a guy named Theo, who apparently is very well known on Twitter before I was on Twitter.
00:13:46.520
I think I had him on back in, like, the first couple months of my show.
00:14:10.320
He was, like, no, you fucking took the super dose.
00:14:22.400
He said, Theo, is this actually five milligram?
00:14:34.260
I don't think our promo code hard R still exists.
00:15:04.940
And at the same time, we're also drinking heavily, like, during the whole time.
00:15:11.180
I mean, and so that happened at, like, 2 o'clock.
00:15:20.780
And it just feels like the whole weight of the world is just coming down.
00:15:27.200
And I'm just, I have to be just sitting in there just going.
00:15:32.260
You skip by the sweet spot and go to, like, existential dread.
00:15:34.560
I have to talk to 60 or 70 people live for the first time in my life.
00:15:38.200
And he's the one that feels like the world's coming down.
00:15:54.300
And he was having fun because I emailed him, too.
00:15:57.920
And, like, and I was trying to, like, do that, like, thing when you're, you know, you're about to throw up.
00:16:01.740
And you start breathing, like, like, really, you start into the nose, out to the mouth.
00:16:04.920
And you're, like, you're telling yourself how to breathe.
00:16:47.000
And that's when, like, the nausea just went washed over me.
00:17:08.440
It would have been based if, like, I had just finished talking.
00:17:12.100
And you stood up and just threw up all over the crowd.
00:17:25.300
Because I want to stay here and support Clint so bad.
00:17:29.060
And I was like, and Elizabeth was like, no, we got to go.
00:17:35.320
And then I just projectile vomit, like, all over, like, a bush.
00:17:52.640
Go home, get changed, took a little nap, came back, and just, like, started it.
00:17:57.540
Well, first, it took some convincing to get you to go home and get changed and cleaned up.
00:18:04.280
He had to keep it all over himself, out by the car.
00:18:15.580
Vomited on a bush was because he was, like, eating a stanky pussy, so.
00:18:45.360
I do think that it's important that they got to see what their ideological opponents, in
00:18:57.680
And DL came up to me afterwards, and he said that he felt as if, like, I gave him a lot to
00:19:15.780
To get to present with my fucking hero sitting to the right of me, it was incredible, man.
00:19:22.200
Even though you imploded halfway through, I'm glad you were there, Cole.
00:19:30.900
Literally, he got up, threw up, and then you gave your closing speech, or each of you made
00:19:38.960
There was a point there that I do remember, Clint, where they...
00:19:41.460
Because they did, like, almost like Serpentine, so you...
00:19:49.280
And then it came back to you, and you were like, I don't know what to say.
00:19:52.780
You were like, I just said everything I was going to say.
00:19:56.360
He asked me the same fucking question I had just answered, and I was like, I don't have
00:20:02.120
I think that was the host issue, not mine, but that was mine.
00:20:06.340
I just remember that, and I just thought that was funny.
00:20:10.340
Hey, Clint, ball-busting aside, that's really cool that you did that, and you said that
00:20:18.240
All my shit gets deleted after seven days, so...
00:20:20.680
If that was Saturday or Friday, then yeah, it'll be...
00:20:32.120
I don't tweet too often, so you'll be able to find it really easy.
00:20:34.440
Toad, grab those Super Chats, because we've got two of them.
00:20:40.860
Clint didn't even change his clothes after making eyes at Alex Stein for an hour.
00:20:46.660
I was on Conspiracy Castle today, which I know you guys will appreciate after we had Alex...
00:20:56.500
I don't know if you saw this, but he just went to...
00:21:02.100
Yeah, the trans protest thing in Texas, and he was there just absolutely just getting people's
00:21:06.560
faces, telling him, and, like, asking him questions and shit, dude.
00:21:12.920
He had this mob just, like, totally pissed off, and he's just yelling back,
00:21:21.920
Was this the guy who called live to, like, the city council?
00:21:32.000
Alex Stein, host of Conspiracy Castle on YouTube.
00:21:36.380
Just go, honestly, just go and watch his intro.
00:21:48.000
The intro's playing, and I was like, oh, I don't get to see it.
00:21:50.340
But, by the way, he was also on InfoWars with Owen Schroyer right after my interview with him.
00:21:56.140
He said he was going to plug me and try and get me on with Owen.
00:21:59.660
Dude, that means you're one degree of separation.
00:22:02.020
Well, you already are one degree of separation from Alex.
00:22:06.920
I'm two degrees because I've been on the morning show.
00:22:09.020
If I got on Owen, that would be the afternoon show.
00:22:12.720
He's got, like, I just did a line of Coke energy, and I'm fucking here for it.
00:22:18.800
He seemed, like, I can't believe that he's not a drug addict.
00:22:24.200
I mean, I feel like Adderall has to be, or something, like, to where he's just, I mean, just locked in all the time.
00:22:43.020
Mark says that he had a great time in Florida with you guys.
00:22:50.360
He was one of the rare people that actually had something intelligent to say to me instead of just being drunk psycho.
00:23:02.340
I don't have many dudes that try to fuck me, so I appreciate that.
00:23:12.660
Clint has a self-douching asshole, actually, if you didn't know that.
00:23:18.740
Listen, you spend three years in prison and you don't get the feeling?
00:23:35.400
He's like, just because I went home every day doesn't mean I was in the clink.
00:23:47.760
They're like, dude, you didn't have to fuck the guys.
00:23:56.280
She didn't come here to get fucking judged and shamed.
00:23:59.660
I think you actually do have to fuck them because if you don't want the prisoners to try to turn on you
00:24:04.960
as the prison guard, you have to make them all your bitch right away.
00:24:22.260
No, actually, there was a shit ton of fucking in prison, though.
00:24:40.580
Because, okay, so, like, you notice, like, a CO hanging out with an inmate for a while,
00:24:45.140
and sometimes it's a dude, but most of the time it's a female.
00:24:49.000
You get what you can, and, you know, you've got to get cigarettes somehow.
00:24:52.380
And so, they, like, at first, they're, like, very fucking hostile towards that inmate.
00:24:57.360
And you're like, you're hanging out with that inmate, like, a lot.
00:24:59.980
And they're like, no, that guy's a piece of shit.
00:25:02.200
And then they start, like, being more friendly, making jokes, and you're like, you're hanging
00:25:06.860
And they're like, no, no, he's just, you know, he's nice, you know?
00:25:10.400
And then you're like, yeah, he raped, like, four people.
00:25:27.440
Yeah, and then the control center catches them, like, having a train ran on them in,
00:25:46.000
And by kitchen duty, I didn't mean the shit that they got on the tips of their venuses.
00:25:55.260
So, like, those girls have to go to the doctor.
00:25:58.600
There's just Santorum everywhere in that kitchen.
00:26:04.340
Or is it kind of like just a, like a, like a work?
00:26:07.100
Cole, don't pretend like you wouldn't have a train ran on you if you were in prison.
00:26:13.480
But I'm not the CEO of looking out, like, trying to get it.
00:26:30.120
What Flint actually did while he was in prison, because they needed to cut down on the cost.
00:26:34.820
They decided to cut down on the food costs by making all of the prisoners form into a human centipede.
00:26:57.060
Because basically after the Saturday night, Clint, not Flint, but Clint decided to finally hang out with us.
00:27:06.860
He was just too busy before that to even hang out.
00:27:10.960
I'm an old person, and I can't drink and party all night when I have to speak for the first time in my life in front of a crowd.
00:27:18.140
I was like, so I had to go easy on Friday night.
00:27:24.600
Well, I'm saying Saturday, you came and you were hanging out with us.
00:27:30.280
Like, this is that, like, right after the panel, I came back, and that's when they were all hanging out by the pool.
00:27:55.880
Let's also mention the fact that fucking Jose has his own personal bottle that he's housing the entire night.
00:28:03.700
He had a bottle of scotch that he was going from the bottle.
00:28:11.360
It was in a good-looking bottle, I'll say that.
00:28:22.340
He wasn't even, he wasn't, there was, with nothing else, he was just straight from the bottle, just drinking it.
00:28:28.040
And he would, like, look at me, and he was like, you want some?
00:28:29.860
I'm like, no, I'm not going to drink bourbon, like, straight out the bottle.
00:28:34.020
He handed the bottle to Dave to drink when Dave came down.
00:28:38.060
He did, and Dave was, like, just pouring in the tub.
00:28:43.840
I have beef with Dave because I called him over, and I said, Dave, because I'm not about to give him the whiskey.
00:28:51.760
And I said, hey, Dave, come have some vodka with us.
00:28:57.960
So he comes over, and he's like, I don't drink vodka.
00:29:00.200
I'm like, yo, I called you over to drink vodka.
00:29:11.760
Flick, after Jose offered his bottle to Dave, he's like, eh, I'm not going to drink out of that.
00:29:19.820
And I guess he poured some of Jose's into the cup, and then a little bit of his.
00:29:32.920
He poured the two whiskeys together, handed it to Dave.
00:29:35.820
By the way, it was also very cheap whiskey that Flint had.
00:29:43.920
That's like maybe similar to a rusty nail or something.
00:30:15.880
Flint, you're on a whole other fucking level, dude.
00:30:24.600
That was the other title for our show before we went to the tower game.
00:30:37.120
Anytime Dave would come over and talk to anybody, basically, it was basically like holding church, dude.
00:30:42.660
He was out there, and he was just, I mean, just anything.
00:30:45.600
You would just throw him a topic, and he would just go off.
00:30:48.120
And I believe the topic at that time was popular liberty because we threw out something about, like, archotrophism or something like that.
00:31:01.860
Okay, because I know Jose was yelling at him about Sal the agorist, too.
00:31:05.940
That started, yeah, that was also another one that he started talking to me.
00:31:13.600
Like sending pictures of him smoking cigarettes.
00:31:24.020
But no, I was asking him what was, like, his best and worst debates that he did.
00:31:31.400
And when she was just, like, all, like, Archie Flowers, he was like, I honestly can't believe that one even happened.
00:31:36.340
He was like, that guy was just so much worse than, like, it's insane.
00:31:40.400
And he was talking about Tho and, oh, who was the other one that he really enjoyed?
00:31:46.900
He said Tho and Eric Breakey were the best ones that were, like, actually really, really good.
00:31:51.040
But after that, he starts talking about, I said, hey, how did the comedy hour go?
00:32:03.980
And he was like, I literally am going to be doing it in, like, 10 minutes.
00:32:30.100
This is basically me just telling all because I saw a Facebook post about it.
00:32:34.420
And I wanted to say that I caused Dave to open it up and made this guy super really pissed off.
00:32:40.440
The guy that he made pissed off was our former vice chair that Josh beat last year.
00:32:46.480
And before the convention this year, like, the writing was on the wall.
00:32:50.340
MC was going to take the vast majority of everything, which we ended up doing.
00:32:55.480
We got like 68% of the national delegates from Florida.
00:33:01.060
Oh, we were the hyenas running the asylum or something like that.
00:33:06.180
But it was a bunch of, it was a bunch of retarded shit.
00:33:12.060
And, but the old vice chair went on a big rant after the first, like, Saturday of the convention
00:33:18.940
And ever since then, he's been raging on Facebook, telling about this and that, going in on our
00:33:25.660
vice chair, Josh, and he's also on Swamp Pass with me.
00:33:29.080
He was taught, like, today he was bitching about all these people paid for the tickets to
00:33:36.300
He's like, yeah, I guess if I spent $75, I'd be a little pissed if a bunch of people got
00:33:42.360
It's not your way to, like, bitch and complain, Dave, it's Dave's show, Dave wants these people
00:33:49.040
Yeah, I've never heard of another show where the performer gives some tickets to their, like,
00:33:58.800
And also, I was a fucking presenter, and they didn't cover my room or any of the events,
00:34:02.860
so I feel like, hey, I got myself here, and I paid for my own room, and I presented,
00:34:08.340
and I certainly brought some people with me, I brought some numbers for you.
00:34:11.080
So, like, I'm fucking going to watch my friend do comedy.
00:34:16.020
I did nothing of that, and I also watched my almost friend do comedy.
00:34:29.360
But there was some funny moments in there of somebody recording that was just really...
00:34:49.900
She was, like, just taking a video of him doing stand-up, and he was, like...
00:34:59.580
And then, like, ten minutes later, she starts filming again, and then he literally goes,
00:35:04.040
like, oh, okay, he was, like, no taking videos.
00:35:12.360
I'm in my comedy mind right now, but stop fucking videotaping me right now.
00:35:16.320
Well, did Dave tell Jack to control his hole, though?
00:35:23.220
It was just really funny, because it was, like, it got very quiet.
00:35:26.820
Like, awkwardly quiet, and he was just, like, I'm sorry for bringing you all down.
00:35:38.340
Well, during the show, I did not go to the show, because I was drunk.
00:36:16.100
If you're 12 shots in, man, everything that you do...
00:36:25.620
I was past 12 before we started recording our fucking in real life cast, man.
00:36:34.060
Flynn just decides to go on like a fucking rant for about an hour about how he's Pauly and
00:36:41.620
how he loves being Pauly and how he loves fucking everything.
00:36:48.140
It's like, I don't know why there's gotta be, you know, a stigma to it, you know?
00:36:55.960
You're literally talking about Pauly, and then I see Alex Hatt show up in the chat,
00:37:02.180
He's like, some weird Pauly radio signal went out, and Alex shows up.
00:37:09.420
I mean, this is just him carrying on over and over, and then he comes in and just stares
00:37:32.600
That's basically what you were doing the whole time.
00:37:34.680
But then, so after the show, go ahead, Cole, when you return.
00:37:38.260
Well, so I get back, and then, like, the first thing I see is there's a broken, by the
00:37:42.540
way, they said no glass bottles around the pool.
00:37:48.580
There was literally a broken glass bottle right under Flint's chair.
00:37:56.640
I was like, I was like, I was like, oh, there's a, you broke a bottle.
00:38:09.000
And then we, you know, we're out there just having fun for about an hour.
00:38:12.140
And then Flint looks at me and he says, dude, I'm so glad you're back from that comedy
00:38:23.880
I was like, dude, I've been chilling with you for an hour.
00:38:27.900
And you, and he was just like, I really thought you just got back.
00:38:31.960
And I was like, no, he was, and then that went to another world.
00:38:37.740
He, he was really hitting his free love hippie vibe.
00:38:41.740
He must've like take some ayahuasca real quick.
00:38:45.940
And then about that time, someone comes up to Clint and goes, basically whispers in his
00:38:51.140
ear, like, Hey, there's a, uh, there's a VIP party going up in the fifth floor.
00:38:57.420
And so we're like, that's exactly what happened.
00:39:12.300
That's what the whole room was just feeling around.
00:39:17.020
No, no, it was, it was so funny because we're like, Clint's like, do you want to go to it?
00:39:28.340
And so what he was saying, I'm pretty sure he was saying like me, Elizabeth, Jose, maybe
00:39:35.480
It was like, I think he was thinking like these people come.
00:39:37.600
Well, when we got up, everybody got up and then we all started going.
00:39:43.000
That guy who tried to fuck me, do not bring him.
00:39:48.760
It's like, hey guys, there's this VIP thing going on.
00:39:57.060
So we, so we get on the elevator and we're going up and Clint's like hits four and we're
00:40:03.120
And he's like, I got to stop by my room and check on Ashton and see if she wants to come
00:40:08.840
And then we go up to level five and we're like, well, Clint's not with us.
00:40:13.160
Are we just going to go into this party without Clint?
00:40:16.360
Like Clint is our, is our, like, he's our anchor.
00:40:21.780
He goes in and then we can come in with him, but we didn't have him.
00:40:27.920
And so like we opened it up and it's just all like the LP Florida people.
00:40:37.140
There's a cutout of Spike Cohen, like literally a cardboard cutout of Spike Cohen in the room.
00:40:42.360
And then we walk in there and we're standing around and everybody's looking at us like,
00:40:53.880
And like, and then like, so that was just me, Duke, Jose.
00:41:05.280
We were all on at the first when we first went, that was not all of us.
00:41:09.520
And then comes in Davey, Davey's girlfriend, Flint, everybody else comes in.
00:41:17.840
And like, we're just all like, we literally double the amount of people in there.
00:41:22.040
And it's like an open bar, like there's free drinks.
00:41:27.460
They're all wearing suits and ties or like very dressed up.
00:41:38.500
So dude, they're just like, at some point in the day, I was like, I don't know why I'm
00:41:58.020
And then finally Clint shows up, Clint shows up.
00:42:02.280
And at that time, we're like, this is really fucking gay.
00:42:06.560
As soon as I got there, you're like, this part is pretty gay.
00:42:14.460
And so Clint's there for probably like 10 minutes.
00:42:22.940
And I'm pretty sure they were very excited for Clint to be there.
00:42:27.980
But like I'm now I'm now in this position where I can't be a normal person at these events.
00:42:36.500
They want to talk about their ideas or their campaign or whatever.
00:42:40.460
And I don't even begrudge anybody feeling that way.
00:42:42.300
But I got to be honest when I'm like trying to party.
00:43:11.720
Well, Josh was the one going like, hey, let's fucking go downtown to some bars.
00:43:27.820
And so whenever he texted me and he was like, let's go.
00:43:35.320
And then I just see people from the party up there come back down.
00:43:39.380
And I hear them literally like, Clint, why'd you leave?
00:43:48.180
Honestly, I didn't even really realize that one.
00:43:50.300
But I was really pumped when the girl comes up.
00:43:53.260
She's like, I was the one that invited you to this event.
00:44:31.360
And that's about the time that Flint was finally gone.
00:44:38.220
And Duke, you can tell what happened once we got back down.
00:44:42.900
And everyone started scattering, trying to figure out where the hell's going on.
00:44:45.400
Clint had to get dragged back up to the fucking fifth floor into the party.
00:44:50.200
Cole disappeared somewhere, I guess, with Josh.
00:44:52.600
But Flint parked himself in the chair back down where we were hanging.
00:45:01.460
And he just goes straight forward into the chair.
00:45:17.320
Dude, the first episode of my solo show, I'd have a glass desk.
00:45:25.100
And so he balanced himself getting up from that.
00:45:28.020
And then he walked, proceeded to walk into the hotel like he was in the Thriller music video.
00:45:43.560
Because I had to tell him, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:45:45.140
You came back on set, but because I said, hey, find your wife and go to bed.
00:45:49.960
And I was thinking, and you look at me, you're like, all right.
00:45:59.660
Yeah, look how she was not in the story at all.
00:46:12.400
I don't remember if we were recording or not when I said this.
00:46:27.400
And then it was, I mean, at that point, Flint got unlocked.
00:46:32.140
And then went, yeah, now that I can't embarrass her, it's time to go.
00:46:39.640
But I mean, I was going to say, I think the person who was the most entertained out of
00:46:52.540
Yes, Davey was extremely entertained this whole time by everything going on.
00:46:58.620
He was like, very, like, just smoking a little bit.
00:47:00.960
Didn't say a fucking thing, but just was laughing his ass off the entire time.
00:47:23.900
Yeah, dude, I went out with him multiple nights in a row when he was here.
00:47:30.040
We all go, we all go to the downtown, like, area down here.
00:47:34.780
And as we're, like, getting there and we're parking, I'm like, oh, yeah, the bar or the
00:47:38.400
brewery that the parking lot's next to is closed.
00:47:43.080
Well, there's this one club that gets pretty dark on Saturday nights.
00:47:52.200
As in there are too many black people in there.
00:48:02.480
And so Josh Smith sees this and he belies it in there.
00:48:13.180
He kept telling us because he was also very fucked up.
00:48:26.260
And he gets in there and he kept telling us, I'm from Oakland, man.
00:48:35.120
If you a thug, you got to remind motherfuckers.
00:48:37.340
I love how I'm considered the wigger in this movement.
00:48:59.580
He kept going, I thought I was black until I was 12.
00:49:25.520
He was like, don't make me read the best fucking bar.
00:49:33.000
It would have been dope if like every time he went into the dance floor.
00:49:44.720
Whispers right in your ear like real centrally like, I got the army going.
00:49:50.020
He's like, I keep stacking them government checks, playboy.
00:49:58.140
How many kids do you think Josh has out there that he doesn't know about right now?
00:50:01.700
Like how many women are going to track him down?
00:50:05.560
I like a joke on Twitter where it's like he'll tweet about his kids and like someone will
00:50:14.240
And then like keep it going with different accounts.
00:50:17.560
And like, let's see how high the number can get.
00:50:21.960
There is already a, um, there is a parody account that's like Josh Smith's 1300 kid or something
00:50:38.800
But then after that, I just found out like, dude has game.
00:50:43.100
Like he was like, I mean, I mean, just every, I mean, he would walk by and he would just
00:50:50.320
I mean, just to every dude, he'd be like, girl, what's your number?
00:50:53.580
Like, I mean, he has natural game and he was like, yeah, flirty of all the bartenders
00:51:00.020
up here, even the ones who were like 60 years old.
00:51:02.660
And man, I wanted to say too, um, after watching him in that debate for vice chair, I'm stunned
00:51:09.920
that he didn't do better in the, the, you know, the last go around.
00:51:13.440
Like he's got, he's got the energy that I'm looking for in a candidate.
00:51:17.560
He's got the confidence, the swagger he delivers, you know, very concisely and powerfully.
00:51:38.980
Hey, I thought we were supporting that guy who supports child transitioning.
00:51:45.860
Oh, he was, uh, so I was asking, I was like, I bet you're a great wingman.
00:51:51.980
He was like, he was like, I'm the best way he were.
00:51:57.960
We were, we were like two o'clock and like, it was last call.
00:52:03.120
And I was like, Josh, uh, I don't know how you get back.
00:52:11.460
And so we get like, we get, we, me and Jose get to my car and Josh is like, just literally
00:52:20.660
And at the same time, he was matchmaking like a group of black dudes over there and a group
00:52:30.120
And he goes, because like, they were like these black women over there.
00:52:32.660
And he was just like, they're like, we want some Henny.
00:52:43.480
And like, he was just like in the middle of a parking lot doing this, like trying to,
00:52:47.240
and then like, and then like, he just walks off and he just sees us and he runs over.
00:53:02.080
I think Josh drove my car twice when he was up here.
00:53:07.740
MK Ultraviolence says Josh Smith is the only politician where you kiss his baby.
00:53:16.080
And also Josh Smith versus Clint Russell rap battle would be pretty cool, I feel like.
00:53:23.540
You know, even though Josh is clearly like more legitimately black than me,
00:53:27.960
I find it hard to believe he can beat me in a rap battle.
00:53:31.780
I also think, well, wasn't Josh in like punk and emo bands?
00:53:38.500
Which is the only reason that I'm not convinced that he's actually black is that he was into like punk and emo.
00:53:47.520
So then we were like, he was like, I really want some Wawa's, man.
00:54:02.340
And then we go in there and we start buying a sandwich.
00:54:07.680
Jose had, I wish he was on here because there's other things I want to talk about with Jose,
00:54:13.300
So he's a good, he needs to do a chat note, man.
00:54:16.940
I love, I love that as soon as he was, he was obligated to drink fucking pussy milk.
00:54:30.540
I texted that to you, Toad, but like, man, that's going to be fucking terrible.
00:54:40.100
But, uh, so we're in Wawa's and he is just talking to literally everybody.
00:54:47.160
Um, it doesn't matter who they are, what they look like.
00:54:50.800
I mean, and I was just like following him around and like, he was like, you want a drink?
00:54:55.120
And so he goes over and gets a drink and a black dude passes by him and he turns around
00:55:01.980
And he points at me and I'm like, how did you get us mixed up?
00:55:11.960
He looks at me like, did you just say that motherfucker?
00:55:20.420
And like, I was like, Oh shit, I'm going to get beat up.
00:55:35.060
I don't think anyone else was doing any hard drugs.
00:55:37.820
Everyone was just drinking heavy and fucking smoking weed.
00:55:50.080
And then he proceeds to ask everybody that passes by.
00:56:12.400
Josh is from Oakland, but he's actually a black guy from the South.
00:56:16.080
And then we get into a conversation with a random dude and find out this guy is a Nick Fuentes fan.
00:56:33.320
The fucking guy who was like, hey, I had an option to be here at the Nick Fuentes Fest.
00:56:40.260
There weren't multiple people that were like that?
00:57:23.920
He fits way better in the Graeber movement than he does in the Liberty Street.
00:57:38.200
At least Josh didn't say that to the black guy.
00:57:47.540
And he was just like, oh, yeah, I have a podcast.
00:57:58.860
And he was just like, oh, yeah, all my friends are into Nick Fuentes.
00:58:03.560
And he was like, I ironically have a, oh, the Italian fascist flag.
00:58:11.860
Yeah, he was like, I have it hanging in my room.
00:58:14.860
And he was like, but he was like, we're joking.
00:58:25.080
By the way, that logo, I'm pretty sure is a fascist, which is literally a faggot.
00:58:37.420
Imagine existing under a fascist dictatorship, which is essentially what we exist under now.
00:58:43.140
And advocating on behalf of it while the existing fascist organization is set up to destroy you.
00:58:51.320
And you're just like, no, no, we're going to turn it around.
00:58:53.520
We're going to we're going to control all of it.
00:58:57.680
Also, what's really funny was he was like something about Russia and Ukraine.
00:59:04.420
And he was just like, man, kind of on Russia's side.
00:59:19.660
It was just but that's how Josh was the whole night.
00:59:29.720
One of the funny things about Josh is like, you know, he's got all these haters and everything.
00:59:33.260
But he's like one of the nicest, like most genuine people you ever would talk to anybody.
00:59:39.340
Like that's every time you meet any of these haters, you're like, oh, I get it.
00:59:45.680
Your life is miserable and you're miserable and you hate anybody that does anything positive at all.
00:59:52.260
And that's basically what all these people are.
00:59:54.060
And by the way, even though I've had many, many an online encounter with people that are threatening me and doing all sorts of wild shit.
00:59:59.980
Like every event I go to, I walk around, everyone comes up and shakes my hand and gives me a hug.
01:00:05.440
No one ever other than Black Mutualist who came up and was like, why'd you block me, son?
01:00:09.600
That's the only time I've had anyone ever front on you.
01:00:13.800
Was that Black Mutualist or was that Josh Smith?
01:00:25.740
I thought you were going to say the other one's Black Mutualist.
01:00:36.980
All jokes aside, Josh, one of the nicest people I ever met.
01:00:42.300
I was having a panic attack at the Missouri convention last year because I was like giving
01:00:47.660
a speech on something like really close to my heart.
01:00:49.420
It was like about like getting rid of prisons because like I fucking hate prisons.
01:01:13.040
He grabs my shoulders and he like talks me down.
01:01:18.580
He's any dude like the most reassuring person ever.
01:01:29.320
If this is dick writing, I'm fucking dick writing.
01:01:32.140
Well, we know after this past weekend, you are not opposed to dick writing.
01:02:05.340
She's been writing a script for like 72 hours straight.
01:02:18.220
She didn't eat for two days and was just writing nonstop.
01:02:20.880
And I was like, girl, I know you're in your like your creative fucking flow here, but I'm
01:02:51.200
Apparently, I walked up to her and I looked her up and down.
01:02:57.280
Was it one of those chairs that likes to like rape people where you sit in it and has like
01:03:15.100
Angela handled her business perfectly this weekend.
01:03:17.800
So like with like the convention itself, like you said, the MC handled all its business.
01:03:23.300
We got everyone elected that we wanted to get elected.
01:03:25.860
Angela was there making sure we had all the right votes for the national convention.
01:03:31.680
And we got the demand for secession put in the state platform.
01:03:41.820
Because it's I'm telling you, I first off, I had no idea.
01:03:45.580
I knew the name of the event was flex it or die.
01:03:48.260
I had no idea that we were going to vote on it.
01:03:50.660
And I had no idea I was going to get to get to vote on it, nor that I would be able to
01:03:58.040
So we had like 10, maybe 12 people that got up in favor of it and argued so beautifully,
01:04:05.380
If I could remember everyone's name, I would say it.
01:04:08.560
Richie Ramirez, I think his name and Hector, a bunch of people just.
01:04:12.980
Rich Perez, Hector Roos, Mitch Connor, a bunch of the guys from the Swampcast got up there
01:04:23.720
And then some people got up to say, no, this will push people away.
01:04:29.160
All that weak shit that I'm trying to get out of the LP.
01:04:31.560
So I was so inspired from the people that gave the positive, you know, pro secession
01:04:37.380
And then these other people got up and I was like, OK, here we go.
01:04:41.900
And I was just like, this is this is the peaceful alternative to what we're what we're
01:04:46.880
So like session has now been voted in, hasn't it?
01:04:53.380
This this was the this was the debate for the vote.
01:05:05.740
Most positive political experience I've had since the Ron Paul revolution.
01:05:09.740
And then after that, we had to vote for delegates for national, which will be allowed to vote
01:05:15.880
And shocker of shocker, I will be a delegate at national in Reno.
01:05:19.940
So it's going to be so so we got there putting up the list on the board for all the people
01:05:25.760
that can be nominated or voted for as delegates.
01:05:35.180
Clint Russell's on the paper that they're giving out to people to vote for.
01:05:40.920
I'm like, Clint, your name isn't really Russell, right?
01:05:47.160
In fairness, my middle name is Russell, so it's fine.
01:05:51.400
And they actually were so well organized, they were able to inform all the people that
01:05:56.360
were going to vote for me about which name they had to select.
01:06:11.440
But that gives us two thirds, which enables us to do whatever we want.
01:06:16.440
But the Florida secession movement is awesome, man, because you can create a logo where you've
01:06:21.020
lopped Florida off of America, so it looks like you're castrating America.
01:06:29.000
You cut Florida off of America, America becomes dickless.
01:06:33.000
Hey, you boys made a convincing fucking argument to move from fucking Mocan.
01:06:38.240
I mean, I love the Midwest, but hot dog, Florida sure showed me how to party.
01:06:44.160
By the way, we totally missed out on, I got to mention this.
01:07:12.940
Are you talking about when you were trying to fuck?
01:07:19.540
No, I was pretty fucked up, but although I feel like I did a really good job of keeping
01:07:22.900
my shit together, I don't drink that hard very often, but I probably cleaned like three
01:07:27.100
quarters of that whole bottle by myself and fucking gave away the rest, and then I had
01:07:30.960
a bunch of people buy me drinks and shit because I'm a niche micro-internet celebrity.
01:07:37.080
That was a very weird thing of people come up and try to buy you drinks.
01:07:43.220
Somebody bought me the 9-11 cocktail at Tom Woods, man.
01:07:50.160
Some guy came out and offered to buy all you guys' drinks and looked at Clinton.
01:07:53.880
He's like, Clinton, you want a drink too, right?
01:07:56.740
Clinton was like, where the fuck is this guy with my drink?
01:08:02.320
I was going to go get a drink if he wasn't coming back.
01:08:07.160
He's got like 100 acres or some shit in Florida, and he's like, you can hold Tower Power Hour
01:08:27.300
I promise it a really bad time on their lactation levels.
01:08:31.440
One just gave birth the other night, so like in their first week or two, next week,
01:08:36.360
I'll probably be able to milk a whole lot better.
01:08:37.840
I tried milk in like last one, and I got like literally a few drops because the fuckers were
01:08:43.620
Because like a week ago, I had one cat who had just given birth, so the little fucker was
01:08:49.860
And the other cat was like about to get birth, so it was only lactating a little bit.
01:08:54.180
It was like, if I pop in with a few drops, they're going to like give me so much goddamn
01:08:59.520
So, next week, I feel like they'll be at a better lactation level to be able to get you
01:09:10.720
By the way, Jose looks like he has herpes all over his mouth, so he must have blown flint
01:09:27.860
My theory with herpes, if you give it to everyone, it's not a problem.
01:09:37.420
Like, he was like talking, and I was like, oh fuck, I really gotta go, because I didn't
01:09:41.660
So, I went and took a picture with him, and he was like, okay, I'll- he was like, thanks,
01:09:48.660
And then, I came back, and Clint was like, oh, where'd he go?
01:09:51.240
And I was like, oh, he went up and he's gonna come back later, he said.
01:09:54.140
And he was like, okay, I gotta give him a shirt.
01:09:59.780
Before his comedy show, I showed it to him, and I was like, yo, would you rock this?
01:10:04.920
And he's like, fuck yeah, I'd rock that, dude, that shit's sick.
01:10:09.060
I know you're about to go up on stage, I'll give it to you after, because I don't want
01:10:11.880
you to have to carry it around everywhere, you know?
01:10:13.400
I was trying to be thoughtful, but then he comes out of the show, he gets fucking mobbed
01:10:17.120
by 40, you know, incels, and then, and then, and then I go and I-
01:10:27.740
And then meanwhile, Cole's like, no, I have to take the picture.
01:10:32.440
So I sit down, I get hit on by Flint for an hour or so, and then Dave, Dave vanishes,
01:10:39.540
Well, so, and then Clint's like, I mean, an hour passed, that was like around like 10.
01:10:45.140
And then like at 11, like, Dave leaves at 10, about 11, we're like, he's not coming out,
01:10:51.320
Like, and Clint's like, no, no, no, I'm going to wait, I think he's still, he might, I'll
01:10:56.020
And we're like, dude, we're going to go out, like, we're going to go, like, go drink, you
01:11:05.100
Honestly, honestly, I was making excuses at that point.
01:11:07.360
I was just trying to make sure Ashton was all right, but I did text Dave at like midnight.
01:11:12.280
He texted me in the morning and he was already like headed to the airport.
01:11:18.580
There was an entire stack of fucking like Tower Gang, Naturalist Capitalist, Liberty Lockdown
01:11:23.440
shirts all sitting on Angela's desk and she's bringing them all to wherever the fuck Dave's
01:11:31.220
Hey, all jokes aside though, Angela's going to win, right?
01:11:41.680
What do you think one of us is going to be like, nah, she's got no chance.
01:11:51.040
But like, yeah, all, all, all that aside, she's fucking dope.
01:11:57.820
She's thinner than Dave, which is saying a lot, by the way.
01:12:00.540
By the way, if a Flint says that he would fuck you, it means nothing because he would
01:12:08.880
I love Dave, but he's put on like five to 10 pounds of muscle.
01:12:16.200
Yeah, I told him I'd vote for him if you put, put on 20 pounds of muscle.
01:12:33.460
Eat more meat, you know, eat more of the fucking carbs.
01:12:43.860
I just wanted to note that it's only when I go to libertarian conventions that I feel
01:12:49.420
I'm so much bigger than everybody there for the most part.
01:12:57.460
I thought you meant everybody whips out their penis at these things.
01:13:04.480
But there's so many tiny people at these events.
01:13:09.800
There's this one picture with the lady that was on the panel.
01:13:12.840
And I swear to God, if you see it, I look like Andre the Giant.
01:13:19.680
It's this little tiny lady, but it's hilarious.
01:13:22.380
I do want to say, what the fuck does this mean?
01:13:25.460
This makes it feel like I showed you my dick, but I don't remember.
01:13:32.160
I mean, Jose, you should show people your dick.
01:13:37.340
It looks like you should show everyone your dick.
01:13:40.240
Jose posted his balls on the timeline, but his dick was censored, so there's that.
01:13:44.540
The funny thing is I didn't even know I posted my balls when I did.
01:13:57.100
Or just because there's a beach, whatever the fuck is the river or the ocean.
01:14:16.100
He was literally trying to get everybody going there.
01:14:39.860
And then you let an areola-less woman bully you out of going to meet Bert.
01:14:51.480
So fucking Jack posted that picture of me and Top, and I'm shirtless, and I have very,
01:14:59.080
Like, it is extremely, it's almost kind of weird.
01:15:01.660
So that's why you like small nipples, then, or you claim to.
01:15:11.120
Well, what, and, uh, and they were making fun of my nipples, they were putting it in my
01:15:14.920
eyes, and they were like, uh, they were doing all kinds of shit, and so I said, everybody
01:15:19.860
show their fucking nipples, because all nipples are kind of weird, and then Elizabeth is sitting
01:15:23.800
right beside me, and she was like, should I show them?
01:15:25.320
And I was like, what is this, like, zoom in, like, don't show your tits, like, to her
01:15:32.660
And then, like, she'd take a picture, and she has, like, it's, like, really zoomed in,
01:15:37.640
And it's, like, this, her, like, it's, like, this, all the same color.
01:15:42.340
And so, Jose's like, you don't have any areolas, I guess.
01:15:51.440
This is a perfect neg to try and get her to send.
01:16:03.940
And I was like, and Alyssa was all, she was like, I'm going to show him my boob.
01:16:21.680
I just think it's wild that she doesn't have areolas.
01:16:23.760
I mean, if she wants to show them, that's what they want to do.
01:16:26.100
For me, like, okay, yeah, okay, cool, a boob's nice.
01:16:29.060
But you know what's even better, mind-fucking her, like, you know, that's amazing.
01:16:35.820
It literally just mind-fucked her for a couple days now, where she's literally like, she literally was like, I have areolas, right?
01:16:45.420
Well, see, the thing was, I think the picture was so zoomed in that it was, like, it was only the nipple and a little bit of areola and nothing beyond that.
01:16:52.860
So you couldn't, you can't tell, like, the color difference.
01:17:01.820
It really didn't matter what the photo was of, because Toad was still going to jerk off to it.
01:17:05.820
Yeah, that's the only thing I was learning about.
01:17:15.520
Like, it was just, like, it was, like, by the way, a nipple by itself, not very hot.
01:17:34.440
I want to know where this group chat is and why I'm not in it.
01:17:43.880
Clint, if you want to see a bunch of mutilated penises and dude's nipples, then that's where you want to go.
01:18:00.920
I had to talk her down from the ledge of, like, sending her tits to the – and she was like, I'll just send one boob.
01:18:06.340
You told me in the past that one boob isn't sexy.
01:18:08.680
I'm like, one boob is less sexy than, like, two boobs, but it's still a tit.
01:18:17.760
Thank you, Cole, because this is way funnier this way.
01:18:31.020
I love it how Cole just now figured out this week that women, like, have areolas usually.
01:18:37.100
Because this is what he's been fucking with her life.
01:18:44.800
So, well, she actually – she actually had a double mastectomy.
01:18:49.360
So, you know, when women just have – you know, they don't have nipples at all anymore.
01:18:53.000
They just have them, like, tattooed back on it.
01:19:00.680
If you're aware that your wife is prone to nagging, you could use this in all sorts of ways.
01:19:10.360
You could have totally talked to Bert with nagging, you know, you fucking faggot.
01:19:16.180
But, by the way, like, I was going to ask this.
01:19:18.640
Because we asked this way early on in Tower Gang.
01:19:20.540
And my – Elizabeth got very upset at me then.
01:19:23.060
But I think it's fine now because she showed her areolas.
01:19:56.440
Who has a quarter – you got fucking pepperoni nips?
01:20:00.980
Well, we're differentiating between areolas and nipples now for the sake of Liz.
01:20:20.840
By the way, are you down with, like, the very discolored, like, very different colored areola over, like, the boob?
01:20:29.700
Like, basically, she's white, and she has, like, fucking purple.
01:20:45.220
I will say I don't like it because you do see –
01:20:49.740
You do see areolas that do, like, almost blend in with the skin sometimes, and those are weird.
01:20:54.540
Like, I want a differentiation, but I guess you don't want, like, extreme differentiation.
01:21:03.880
I want it to be, like, perfect white and then light blue.
01:21:10.520
I will say, Colt, either your wife has no areolas or she has huge areolas because they didn't fit in the frame.
01:21:18.900
I said it is anywhere between 15% to 30% of the boob.
01:21:23.900
30% is a – either she has really small tits or, like, those are huge fucking areolas.
01:21:39.480
There's only one way that a little boob can solve this.
01:22:02.560
Odyssey doesn't allow nudity either, by the way.
01:22:04.440
Don't motherfucker's really going to audit nipples, though?
01:22:09.680
And you're like, well, the circumference is wrong, so –
01:22:12.880
Clint, we know that you're not very discerning when it comes to sexual partners.
01:22:17.340
We, on the other hand, get to choose our aerial side.
01:22:24.160
I mean, I'm down for whatever, but I can still say one is better than the other.
01:22:35.780
Like, I'll still smash, but I can critique the nips.
01:22:44.380
If you show your nipple right now, Flint will jerk off on screen.
01:23:33.560
I think she had the nude group chat for the girls.
01:23:35.960
Oh, a forest mommy is like, oh, I swear she has areolas.
01:23:40.000
Well, as I said on the last show, Eastern European nipples are the best because they tend to be like larger areolas and puffy areolas.
01:23:54.860
She has wide areolas where they're like fucking ovals.
01:24:04.860
Now, well, I had also said that Cole needs to make this right by sending a picture to the group chat that's just of his dickhole.
01:24:28.840
That should be our new game dick to urethra ratio.
01:24:40.440
Tune in to the next episode of Tower of Power Hour.
01:24:46.620
They would just be like, it would come out and be like.
01:24:52.480
It's like it's like Cole throwing up after fucking my talk.
01:24:59.180
But does the width of your urethra actually completely determine the width of your load, though?
01:25:11.700
You cannot shoot as far if your urethra is significant.
01:25:22.240
By the way, there is rifling in your penis, by the way.
01:25:27.560
So that the sperm can fucking shoot out faster?
01:25:44.920
But I am irritated you making me think about this.
01:25:51.100
Next time a dude shoots a fucking rope in your mouth.
01:26:11.160
I mean with you it's like I got to wipe it off the top of my head.
01:26:16.300
This is a new technology to solve crimes where like semen is deposited.
01:26:34.260
Because I think of it like kind of like shotguns.
01:26:37.320
You can have like a like a duck bill on the shotgun.
01:26:40.520
You can do the same with the tip of your penis.
01:26:42.720
So you shoot out like loads that are like really flat.
01:26:58.540
Like I don't know if you guys ever watched Dexter.
01:27:00.800
He did like a lot of like blood splatter analysis.
01:27:02.320
I thought you were talking about Dexter's laboratory.
01:27:04.100
And I was like I don't know where to go with this.
01:27:17.040
So like you could have the same thing with like cum.
01:27:50.380
You're going to say a fuck you to a 17 year old.
01:27:59.000
You're going to say suck my dick to a 17 year old.
01:28:09.500
And also it depends on your level of hardness too.
01:28:22.820
Have you ever like had your old lady like edge you.
01:28:32.740
Just fucking just like shooting across the room.
01:28:49.600
You were just as hard as you were the first time.
01:28:54.460
If I have sex for a really really long amount of time.
01:29:09.320
Is there a Mohs scale of hardness for the dick?
01:29:59.500
Am I the only person here with a fully functioning dick?
01:30:08.540
There's times you've been drinking or whatever.
01:30:44.560
When you take testosterone injections with HCG.
01:31:20.480
I would never suggest steroids to someone who isn't.
01:31:28.620
Because you could fuck up your endocrine system pretty bad.
01:31:38.300
For the fuck up my endocrine for three years from now.
01:31:43.340
Three years from now we see David Brady at some LP convention.
01:32:07.520
This whole endocrine system is now dependent on fucking external drugs.
01:32:38.220
That's what happened to Forrest mommy's tits by the way.
01:33:03.320
I mean it's like a boat that the same was snapped.
01:33:16.420
It's just because you see him in photos with me.
01:33:42.080
If you're like over six foot and under 200 pounds.
01:33:49.000
The best the best I've ever looked was 6'1 190 and I was fucking I had to like starve
01:33:56.520
I was playing beach volleyball 20 hours a week to get that light.
01:34:09.000
So I'm not going to put it out there, but we can start the rumor that Forrest Mommy fucked
01:34:14.700
She was clearly talking about Jose and then shifted to Dave.
01:34:32.060
We only spread misinformation on the show, all right?
01:34:36.660
Dave weighs 200 pounds, but 30 pounds is in his dick.
01:34:47.280
He's just fucking zombie because it's all in his dick.
01:34:53.880
I'm kind of bummed I didn't get a picture of Dave because I'm not a faggot who thinks
01:35:02.860
Like a woman, they think, oh my god, I need a picture.
01:35:08.100
But at the same time, it would be kind of funny to see me.
01:35:10.220
Because we're literally physical, exact opposites.
01:35:17.580
Dude, you should get in blackface and fucking take a picture with him.
01:35:20.960
You'd be like that one guy that was really cool.
01:35:27.080
Jose is a foot shorter than Dave and outweighs Dave.
01:35:32.520
I fluctuate between like 200 or 220, depending on how fat I am.
01:35:48.140
I can't believe you fluctuate between 200 and 220 at like 5'5".
01:35:53.880
I mean, even at 220, I'm not like fat, fat, but I'm a little fat.
01:36:00.180
Well, the problem is I have some key spots that are missing.
01:36:12.660
We're about to end this podcast, but I didn't want to get this in there.
01:36:15.560
I gave my wife a pinched nerve from sucking my penis.
01:36:43.460
Dude, I got to say, Cole, like, I know I clown on her for Aeolas, but you legit need to stop
01:36:48.240
with the BJ talk, because that was, like, far worse of, like, nagging anything.
01:36:59.340
Like, he's like, I've never come from a BJ with his wife right next to him.
01:37:05.020
And a lot of other men have said, like, they haven't come from BJs.
01:37:08.580
All you're doing is admitting you've never gone to good BJs, and you stop doing that to
01:37:12.100
Liz, because I like her, and she's a nice lady, and that's just mean to air that shit
01:37:19.940
No, by the way, you tell me to neg her, and then you're, like, getting upset when I'm
01:37:26.600
Like, that'd be like if my wife was right next to me, I'd be like, oh, my wife's a fat
01:37:57.420
Every time you go to this rant about how BJs aren't that great, I'm like, dude, shut
01:38:01.960
You're being horribly mean to your wife right now.
01:38:16.620
Liz, when you're ready for a man who will treat you right.
01:38:20.160
When you're ready for a man who will appreciate your efforts in blowjobbing.
01:38:27.420
He's like, all that he cares about is the effort.
01:38:30.580
I will jerk off a little bit of four just to give you a head start.
01:38:35.140
Elizabeth should walk in, blow you, show us her nipples, and then leave.
01:38:42.660
Actually, that would be the most biggest power play and the most big dick thing a woman
01:39:09.680
Clint is waiting for his big LP convention speeches to drop one of those.
01:39:13.720
I'm telling you, my first n-bomb will be on the Joe Rogan experience.
01:39:18.760
The first negging fucking on Joe Rogan will be from Clint.
01:39:26.200
I know you don't know my friend Cole's wife, but she won't.
01:39:35.080
I know you don't know her, but she won't do it.
01:39:37.460
I'll be like, one of my friends has a wife who has no areolas, and it'll start this,
01:40:06.160
Someone who says, like, top-level sex is better than top-level BJ.
01:40:10.200
If you say that, you've just never had that next-level BJ.
01:40:13.140
There's, like, an other notch to BJ's that you can get to if you know what you're doing.
01:40:32.840
I got to say, fucking twerking on that dick is a little bit better.
01:40:48.760
Like, when you get that shit where they have the whole thing in their mouth, and they're
01:40:57.000
When she has to look up, and she's like, do you love me?
01:41:02.740
But the problem is, after that, then you're like, yes, I love you.
01:41:19.320
There are girls that struggle to get guys off that way.
01:41:36.120
I'm still going pussy over basically a mouth, which a dude also has.
01:41:40.300
Your dude can also blow you just as good as your pussy fucks.
01:41:45.780
So, Flint, Flint, what's better, a dude blowing you or a chick blowing you?
01:42:06.740
You don't want to do anal play with a chick that doesn't have an anus, all right?
01:42:24.660
Can you do anal with a girl with a colostomy bag?
01:42:31.780
No, it's 100% better because there's no shit in there.
01:42:34.960
On Saturday night, Flint would have fucked a colostomy bag.
01:42:38.760
Hey, yo, you're talking about I would have hit on the fucking chair of the Libertarian Party.
01:42:47.060
She said anal play is easier with oral play is easier with anal or anal play is easier with oral.
01:42:54.820
If you're talking ass to mouth, you're fucking, you know, you're an animal.
01:43:00.020
Honestly, if she goes ass to mouth, I'll tell you.
01:43:04.980
If your girl's going ass to mouth, you better put a ring on that motherfucking finger.
01:43:17.640
If you do an ass to mouth, you enjoy it and then never talk to them again.
01:43:28.040
Yo, ass to mouth girl is a ride or die motherfucker, dude.
01:43:41.000
In high school, this girl at a house party, she was like, do whatever you want.
01:43:47.960
And I'm like, there's things I haven't done before.
01:43:51.700
She turns around of her own volition and just finishes me off with her mouth.
01:43:56.860
And I have to walk around with this girl for the rest of the night looking at everybody like,
01:44:23.580
You stimulate the butthole when you're doing that.
01:44:47.400
I had one of the craziest streams on Liberty Lockdown I have ever had.
01:44:55.180
It's two hours deep dive on everything you can imagine, primarily Russia and Ukraine.
01:45:01.920
Liberty Lockdown on YouTube, Spotify, Apple Podcasts, everyone else.
01:45:32.360
Yeah, dude, we're not getting pulled for anything other than Liz's areolas.
01:45:47.000
If you want to give me money, patreon.com slash NoWayJose.
01:45:57.460
I had my fucking Dave Smith episode like a week or two ago.
01:46:09.960
Did he send you a – did he DM you while you were on your way?
01:46:24.060
I was – he was – I mean, and then afterwards – I got to get into this.
01:46:37.100
I posted two pictures with Dave, two, and he said nothing with them.
01:46:41.980
And I'm telling you, the one – I think they both got over 200 likes.
01:47:01.780
David Brady, you're in the comment telling us we have to go to LP Minnesota Convention.
01:47:07.480
Tell them that you want me to be there and they will hit me up.
01:47:12.160
Tell them to pay me to come and talk and I tell them how it's all gay.
01:47:22.640
By the way, I've actually learned today that the Russian girls are very easy.
01:47:28.300
That's what a guy was telling me, that he switched his Tinder over to Russia.
01:47:35.280
Well, he said – he looked up the demographics.
01:47:38.280
There is a surplus, like a 200,000 surplus of women in the country.
01:47:45.660
If you have money, you can get any Russian girl.
01:47:49.220
If you don't have money, you can hardly get any Russian girls.
01:48:05.900
Yeah, I've been doing it all wrong, man, looking for the Ukrainian refugees.
01:48:16.940
I just recorded with Typo on Tuesday, so that's out.
01:48:21.280
Next week, we're going to have Duke on to talk about some sports.
01:48:25.100
Yeah, so actually talk about non-retarded stuff for a little while.
01:48:27.580
Yeah, Duke was actually – we were talking about sports on like Saturday morning, and he was like –
01:48:33.020
Sorry, yeah, it was Friday morning, but Clint, I never got to talk to you about how Kobe Ryan is the greatest sidekick ever.
01:48:42.380
Why are you going to do me like this dirty plug?
01:49:07.900
I was in prison, and then I discovered prison was bad.
01:49:12.900
So I do a show that talks about criminal justice reform.
01:49:18.460
But I have Jason Bassler, who did Police the Police and Freethought Project coming on next week.
01:49:34.580
I can't bring myself to follow it because it just makes me so enraged.
01:49:40.420
I mean, like, honestly, if you follow Scott Horton, you'll see Freethought Project and Police the Police.
01:49:50.080
And then I also have someone who wrote a book on plead deals.
01:49:55.840
I mean, the people who are guilty in prison, it's like 94% of the people that are in prison plead guilty.
01:50:04.920
What's the difference between race 10, COVID-19, race 10?
01:50:24.220
And where we talk about dudes rock shit and where we fuck girls, dude.
01:50:30.040
Cole's not going to fuck girls because he has a wife.
01:50:37.440
Davey has a girlfriend, but he has fucking, he's poly.
01:50:41.680
And me and Jim, excuse me, Jim, that's her name.
01:51:02.340
Yeah, she's a stripper and he's a motocross rider.
01:51:20.220
You can see, you can follow me here on Twitter at DukeChats.
01:51:23.160
You can watch at the Swan Creatures, what the Swancast Network on YouTube, Friday nights,
01:51:30.800
This week, we're actually going to have Kyle Anzalone on from the Liberty, our Libertarian
01:51:43.160
I hear there's a bunch of Nazis or something around, but I mean, that's pretty cool.
01:51:46.620
And you can follow us at TheRealSwampCast on Twitter and check us out.
01:51:54.260
We should, for real, try and get some Azov Battalion people on the show.
01:51:59.140
We failed to get the Taliban on, but maybe we can get the Azov Battalion.
01:52:03.920
I mean, they'd probably be a lot more sympathetic to you guys.
01:52:14.280
Obviously, we got Lou Perez coming on next week.