Tower Gang - Ep 72 - Big Dick Tr＊nnies w⧸ Cripp Daddy

00:00:00.000 The funniest 9-11 jokes were written on 9-12.

00:00:02.300 Women jerk off dicks like fucking they're an unruly ferret.

00:00:05.380 Yeah.

00:00:06.440 You ever had a 9-11 cocktail?

00:00:09.360 It's in Manhattan with two kamikazes.

00:00:11.300 And now.

00:00:13.420 You see, the socialists don't have an accurate answer for this, and she needs to account for it.

00:00:18.560 White women must be stopped.

00:00:20.400 That's right.

00:00:21.480 Yeah.

00:00:23.560 We can stay horny and retarded longer than she can stay sane.

00:00:26.900 What?

00:00:28.100 Your ass-to-penis ratio.

00:00:30.700 Ben, maybe you could say we had sex, but we didn't fuck.

00:00:33.140 You said n***er.

00:00:34.100 Oh, Jesus.

00:00:35.360 Free!

00:00:37.040 Fat Dave, fuck you, man.

00:00:38.800 Free!

00:00:39.680 Free!

00:00:40.120 Free!

00:00:43.220 Hey, it's Jose Galisson.

00:00:45.040 You're watching Tower Power Hour.

00:00:46.400 For the episode, we have Cole, and we have the only one you guys give a shit about tonight,

00:00:51.080 and that is Crip Daddy.

00:00:53.080 That's me.

00:00:54.280 Hell yeah.

00:00:55.000 Obviously, another vegetable Ethan Ralph doesn't like.

00:00:59.460 You know what?

00:00:59.860 I want to start off with, what is with the contention with you and Ethan?

00:01:02.980 Do you have to actually have some sort of beef, or do you just love trolling them because it's so easy?

00:01:07.120 Well, like, I mean, the two-longed and read answer is that he's doing with me what he does with everybody,

00:01:14.400 which is over-exaggerate and try and get hate views and follows, and I'm just the right amount of petty to keep at it just because it's fucking funny.

00:01:27.140 And so maybe in a weird 4D chess move, I'm getting played, but I don't care because it's easy to make fun of him.

00:01:36.620 I wouldn't say you're getting played from the little bits of interaction I've seen.

00:01:39.560 It's like, if anything, it's just making him look ridiculously foolish.

00:01:42.780 Which isn't hard.

00:01:43.720 Yeah, which isn't hard, but it's even funnier when it's like blowhard, you know, kind of fake tough guy then tries to troll on a disabled guy who then clowns him even harder.

00:01:55.340 Like, you just look so fucking stupid in this interaction.

00:01:57.880 The reason Ethan hates Crip Daddy so much is because Crip Daddy is another comedian in a diaper who's way funnier than he is.

00:02:06.640 I mean, I get it.

00:02:07.940 I would be just as upset as he was, but, you know, I can see my penis still, so that's all that.

00:02:15.500 You would also put up a better fight than he did in wherever the fuck he was.

00:02:19.740 Was it like the Netherlands or whatever?

00:02:21.460 Yeah, it's like a unfortunate.

00:02:22.440 You would put up a better fight than that.

00:02:25.080 I'm imagining that's why I was on his, like, shit-talking list, because I was the only one that could hold up an even fight against him.

00:02:35.520 He could win that fight, potentially.

00:02:37.960 Not really.

00:02:38.880 I would say even for fat dudes, his belly just, like, confounds me.

00:02:43.820 Like, I saw him poking through that video.

00:02:45.340 Like, it looks like, I don't know if anyone's ever, if you've ever, like, I know my mother used to make homemade bread.

00:02:50.040 It looks like, like, homemade bread before you put it in the little bread maker thing.

00:02:55.400 Like, it's kind of like the unleavened dough or whatever, you know?

00:02:58.160 Just like the kind of fluffiness you can kind of, you have to, like, punch down whenever you put it to get the yeast out or whatever.

00:03:04.080 It's already in the little thing, so it's kind of, like, fluffed up, and then it's kind of got it.

00:03:07.920 Oh, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:03:09.060 Yeah, yeah, he's got a big matzo ball for a stomach.

00:03:12.720 Yeah, but it's front gut reminds me of my ex, you know what I'm saying?

00:03:16.160 You know what I'm saying?

00:03:19.060 You guys know.

00:03:20.140 You know, I like what I'm going to grab onto.

00:03:21.980 I don't mind.

00:03:22.900 Hey, Crip, Meredith has a question.

00:03:24.580 Why did you take Ghislaniac out of your Twitter bio?

00:03:28.740 That was an executive decision that was done when I brought it to the board when I was going through the, what was her name?

00:03:40.160 See, I'm so shitty, I don't even remember the girl's name.

00:03:44.920 When I was getting all the hate from the Marvel fans and, like, the Stans because I just posted that picture of that one Asian girl that was, like, brutally murdered and tortured.

00:03:57.340 And so I replaced a proud Ghislaniac with a blah, blah, blah Stan.

00:04:04.740 I forget her name.

00:04:06.320 That's how shitty I am.

00:04:08.440 You know, that one was wild because, like, they got mad at you that you, like, made a joke.

00:04:11.980 Although it wasn't even really necessarily a joke.

00:04:13.660 It was almost, like, serious because I can't even remember what it originally was.

00:04:16.280 It was, like, what was it?

00:04:18.400 No, it was Wanda.

00:04:19.400 Because I'm a little bit of a comic book nerd.

00:04:20.700 I've watched a lot of those ones.

00:04:22.120 Yeah, her story is tragic.

00:04:24.500 But, like, it's actually really stupid.

00:04:27.380 They were like, oh, it's name another character who's had a more tragic story than this.

00:04:31.520 And, like, I can name a handful off the top of my head.

00:04:34.080 There have been way more.

00:04:34.740 Batman.

00:04:35.400 Yeah.

00:04:36.160 How about the.

00:04:36.760 Not a Serbian film.

00:04:37.920 I don't know.

00:04:39.000 Yeah.

00:04:40.280 How about a 13-year-old Japanese chick who was basically raped to death over the course of, like, months?

00:04:45.720 Yeah.

00:04:46.080 Oh, dude.

00:04:47.240 Oh, that's a crazy story.

00:04:48.460 Oh, I know what you're talking about.

00:04:49.380 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:04:50.160 It was, like, 15-year-old boys.

00:04:51.840 Was it 15 or 16-year-old boys, like, kept her locked up and, like, raped her?

00:04:55.260 Yeah, dude.

00:04:55.820 It was, like, it went on for, like, the better part of over a month.

00:05:00.180 And then there was one day where they were, like, and it could be exaggerated.

00:05:04.700 I doubt they would just because it's such a big popular case now in, like, the true kind syndicate, whatever you want to call it.

00:05:12.300 But, like, at one point there was, like, over 100 dudes in one day that they just gathered from, like, the neighborhood and shit.

00:05:20.040 And that's so amazing as a pitchman.

00:05:24.260 Like, oh, dude, like, holy shit, though.

00:05:28.640 Whoa, dude.

00:05:30.140 Dude, dude.

00:05:30.620 They just got it at one point.

00:05:32.140 It's, like, you just don't do it for anymore.

00:05:34.580 Just don't give me any heart anymore.

00:05:35.600 It's softer.

00:05:36.640 It's, like, bro, dude, you're doing it for the passion at this point.

00:05:40.660 Well, at some point she was hard from rigor mortis, so.

00:05:44.500 Yeah, dude.

00:05:45.240 By the way, for you guys, don't you ever fucking bring up a comment from the YouTube chat anymore.

00:05:49.240 We are incentivizing Odyssey.

00:05:51.140 We barely are even going to pay attention to YouTube.

00:05:53.280 Unless you have an absolute fucking banger on the YouTube one, we're not even going to acknowledge it.

00:05:58.020 You need to be going to Odyssey, and then we'll go there.

00:06:00.940 I want to build up the audience.

00:06:02.200 The Odyssey live chat audience is so fucking great.

00:06:04.940 It's, like, so unbelievably racist, and it's amazing.

00:06:08.220 Yeah, and we can't show any of your comments, so.

00:06:10.580 Yeah, we can't show it, but we can say it.

00:06:13.360 And, you know, maybe when they get their shit together, it'll start showing on there, and we can bring it up as well.

00:06:17.560 We can say it and get banned from YouTube, yeah.

00:06:19.760 Although, or we could just go super hard and just keep, like, getting our YouTube channel nuked over and over again.

00:06:24.660 But I do want to incentivize the Odyssey for sure.

00:06:27.480 That's true.

00:06:28.180 Yeah.

00:06:28.800 I was going to say, oh, I do want to let you guys know, if you're aware, this is the first one.

00:06:33.020 It's June 1st.

00:06:34.260 We are starting our, they're Jonesing for June, because Alex Jones is awful.

00:06:40.940 Let us know.

00:06:41.500 I think it should be Jonesing for June, like Alex Jones, conspiracy, whatever.

00:06:48.420 For some reason, Toad thinks Alex Junes works.

00:06:51.920 That's just so clunky to me.

00:06:54.020 You guys let us know which works better.

00:06:56.440 I like Jonesing for June.

00:06:57.680 Jonesing for June.

00:06:59.660 I can't even say that.

00:07:00.880 Like, I keep having to say, like, Jonesing for June.

00:07:04.480 I'm sorry, Ricardo.

00:07:05.900 It works just fine.

00:07:07.480 Anyways, this is going to be conspiracy-themed.

00:07:09.320 We have Crip this week.

00:07:11.500 Next week, we have Monica Perez already scheduled.

00:07:14.520 The following week, we have Josh Denny.

00:07:16.700 The week after that, I believe, is Porkfest.

00:07:19.840 So we've got to figure something out, because we have like four people who are going to be at Porkfest.

00:07:24.500 We'll get Dave Smith on, don't worry.

00:07:26.560 Okay.

00:07:27.360 We want to figure out a way that we can maybe somehow record it and then release it after,

00:07:31.420 because I know the internet's going to be shitty out there in the fucking woods.

00:07:34.720 And we will have four people, and I'm sure we can get like a fifth or somebody to guest.

00:07:39.320 And then the last week, we don't have anything scheduled right now.

00:07:43.080 But if anyone follows us, someone says Jones in Virginia is better.

00:07:46.620 Suck it, Toad.

00:07:48.580 But, all right.

00:07:50.500 I don't know.

00:07:51.080 I'm not saying this is happening.

00:07:52.200 But we want to try to make something cool for the finale.

00:07:55.940 We have a few ideas.

00:07:57.820 But, but, but, someone, one of our great fans, did the whole so-and-so go on Tower Gang today.

00:08:04.440 Our Tower Gang pod and tag the Twitter, or Twitter.

00:08:08.060 It was Lainey, is the person's name.

00:08:09.500 Yes, Lainey.

00:08:10.480 Dude's fucking dope.

00:08:12.160 That was a girl.

00:08:13.020 I don't, it says father in the bio.

00:08:15.220 It might be one of those tranny people, but it's one of the cool trannies.

00:08:17.620 So, I don't know.

00:08:18.000 Cool trannies.

00:08:18.620 Yeah.

00:08:19.000 Whenever we take over, you know, or whatever.

00:08:21.120 Like, if Dave Smith actually ends up going full through, and then we decide, like, hey,

00:08:24.900 we've got to get rid of, like, these people, like, we'll keep him, you know?

00:08:29.020 Well, by the way, all the cool trannies are male or female, right?

00:08:33.100 Yeah.

00:08:33.440 Yeah.

00:08:33.780 Because dudes are the best.

00:08:34.840 Like, let's be real.

00:08:35.420 Obviously, yeah.

00:08:36.540 Men dominating women's sports.

00:08:38.360 What's more base than that?

00:08:39.120 Even though you had Buck, whatever his fucking, oh.

00:08:42.580 Buck Angel.

00:08:43.660 Yeah, Buck Angel.

00:08:45.020 Yeah, but he, I don't think he's as cool.

00:08:47.480 Yeah, I know.

00:08:48.160 I like Buck.

00:08:48.840 I didn't even think of Buck when we said that, but generally speaking, yes, it's the

00:08:52.820 male and females are the coolest.

00:08:54.540 Like, let's be real.

00:08:54.900 Yeah, they have to be.

00:08:55.700 Because usually the female males are just fucking, you know, they're still.

00:08:59.780 They're better than women.

00:09:01.380 They're still pink-haired fucking lesbos is what they are, really.

00:09:06.420 That's all they really are still.

00:09:08.580 Yeah, Alex Jones is Joan's gay, retarded brother who watches Hassan Piker.

00:09:12.780 There you go.

00:09:13.400 Like, see?

00:09:13.820 That's a good part of the demonizing.

00:09:15.620 Oh, put him down.

00:09:16.680 Yeah.

00:09:16.880 You know, Alex Jones is a fucking retarded one for it.

00:09:20.680 Owen Benjamin would have been great.

00:09:22.580 Yes.

00:09:23.000 We've been trying to get a hold of him.

00:09:24.100 If you guys want to, he has some rep online if you guys want to keep him up.

00:09:27.560 But, all right, I forgot to finish my story.

00:09:29.480 Someone tagged, what was it?

00:09:31.900 God, I'm already forgetting his name.

00:09:33.260 Sam Tripoli.

00:09:33.300 Sam Tripoli.

00:09:33.860 Sam Tripoli.

00:09:34.220 Sam Tripoli.

00:09:34.320 Sam Tripoli or Sam Tripoli.

00:09:35.760 Yeah.

00:09:36.300 Sam Tripoli.

00:09:37.340 If anyone knows what that is, let's try on Twitter.

00:09:39.100 But, yeah, Sam Tripoli.

00:09:40.460 And out of the blue, he was like, yeah, let's fucking do it.

00:09:43.000 And, uh, he ended up following me and I sent him a DM.

00:09:46.680 I haven't heard back yet.

00:09:47.820 Um, so he's going to probably come on the show at some point.

00:09:51.360 And I don't think this is going to be like a, who was that fat fuck that, uh, dodged us

00:09:55.760 because he's going, he's going to be.

00:09:57.240 Burt Kreischer.

00:09:57.940 Yeah.

00:09:59.220 Yeah.

00:09:59.580 I don't think this is going to be a Burt Kreischer type situation because, uh, Sam Tripoli

00:10:04.520 is a very different beast.

00:10:05.660 Uh, he does hang out with, like, Legion of Skank types people.

00:10:08.840 You know, he's okay with the edgy stuff.

00:10:10.460 He's not trying to go super mainstream.

00:10:12.160 He's not worried about his corporate gigs.

00:10:14.220 So, uh, yeah, because I know everyone who's followed the show for a long time knows Burt

00:10:17.620 Kreischer said he was going to come to the show forever ago.

00:10:20.080 And I'm assuming someone, like, found the nigger reel and was like, uh, hey, Burt boy.

00:10:27.600 There's a reel now?

00:10:28.640 Oh, shit.

00:10:29.400 It was me.

00:10:32.860 So, yes, Sam, we're going to try to do something cool for the finale.

00:10:36.300 I doubt I'll be able to work out the Sam Tripoli one, but I just want to let you know that

00:10:39.680 it's something that's a possibility and that would be fucking dope because it'd be perfect

00:10:42.700 for this month because this whole thing is conspiracies.

00:10:44.700 You guys should get Jake Flores on here.

00:10:46.600 That'd be great.

00:10:47.420 I don't even know who that is.

00:10:48.540 Oh, man, yeah, that's a whole, that's a whole rat hole.

00:10:51.940 We won't do that.

00:10:53.000 It's a rat hole, but it would be great.

00:10:55.580 Yeah, we had some people who said they could, uh, maybe get us in touch with Eddie Bravo.

00:10:59.240 That wasn't, that hasn't followed through.

00:11:00.960 The problem is, like, Reed, our buddy Reed, has so many connections, but he's in this weird

00:11:05.080 spot right now where he's, like, not very reliable because he's, like, in between, I don't

00:11:10.360 know, whatever the fuck, like, he's moving and shit.

00:11:12.220 The attic stage, I get you.

00:11:14.040 Huh?

00:11:14.700 The attic stage, I get you.

00:11:16.480 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:11:17.880 Yeah, yeah.

00:11:18.340 I got you.

00:11:19.400 Yeah, so.

00:11:20.500 All right, but yes, this is the conspiracy month, so, uh, well, we were gonna try to,

00:11:25.940 you know, we always, we kind of, we wanted to do, like, fun ones because we wanted to

00:11:30.420 do, like, I mean, I was talking to Jose before this, you know, we were like, you know, we

00:11:33.560 want to do fucking giants and hollow earth and shit, but it kind of came up this week

00:11:38.700 and the past, everything going on, mass shootings, and so we really want to start off with that

00:11:43.780 fun one of conspiracy theories and psyops and shit.

00:11:47.500 Um, so, basically, well, one, if you've seen anything come out about this, uh, was it Uvaldi?

00:11:55.200 Is that what they call it?

00:11:55.820 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:11:56.320 That was the, yeah, the Texas story.

00:11:57.760 Yeah, yeah.

00:11:58.780 Everything that's coming out after now is so fucking fed and glow niggery, it is insane.

00:12:06.140 Like, by the way, I do want to say, just so you guys know, I just found out recently the

00:12:11.380 original version of Glowy, the thing for feds, came from Reddit and it was originally glow nigger,

00:12:16.260 which is so amazing to me.

00:12:18.240 Uh, for those who don't know, now you know.

00:12:19.900 Um, so, there you go.

00:12:21.220 Is that related to gay niggers from out of space?

00:12:24.080 Well, apparently it originated from Reddit, so it's kind of like, it makes sense that it's

00:12:27.800 just like, it's just the go-to glow nigger, like, it's just a, the fed story.

00:12:32.120 Yeah, I thought a glow nigger was just a white person because your skin is so bright.

00:12:36.600 I mean, that kind of works.

00:12:37.160 Wow, don't bring logic here.

00:12:40.240 Fucking stupid, dude.

00:12:42.760 Well, I don't know, like, this, I was looking at some today, did you see that the, uh, the

00:12:47.000 sheriff was taken in, like, into a closed, um, council meeting and made, like, a council

00:12:54.880 member or, like, of the town of Euphalde.

00:12:57.900 Yeah, but how, how conspiracy-ish is that, though?

00:13:00.560 Because, I mean, that could be totally legit of just, like, yeah, well, that was already

00:13:05.040 happening and then some crazy faux pas happened and they're just like, hey, you're going to

00:13:08.240 keep my mouth up.

00:13:08.760 No fucking way.

00:13:09.500 If you, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

00:13:10.800 That doesn't happen in local politics, especially at small, I don't know how big

00:13:15.280 Euphalde is, but there's no fucking way that people's kids die in a town and the town's

00:13:20.860 just like, oh, by the way, we just made the, uh, the police chief who kept parents from

00:13:26.060 their children, we're just going to make him a council member real quick, you know, no

00:13:30.060 vote on this or anything, just kind of, and also behind closed doors.

00:13:33.780 What, what do you mean?

00:13:34.860 I mean, the dude gets a certain amount of, uh, kills under his belt and you, you got to

00:13:41.200 reward him somehow.

00:13:42.160 He calls it a kill streak.

00:13:43.780 Yeah.

00:13:44.020 His kill streak is, uh, it's a promotion.

00:13:45.860 Achievement unlocked.

00:13:47.220 That's what it is, man.

00:13:48.960 Come on.

00:13:49.580 Put some respect to my boy's name.

00:13:51.780 He's, he's playing, he's actually playing GTA in real life.

00:13:54.220 It's just, he's just like, uh, he's leveled up.

00:13:56.740 He got, he, uh, he leveled up and just went up to the next level.

00:13:59.420 And it's, that's a customer.

00:14:00.580 Wait until his gamer fuel sponsor gets kicked in, bro.

00:14:04.220 He's be talking shit.

00:14:05.780 It's, it's, you know what, I'm bailing out of that bit.

00:14:08.960 That was a little bit too much even for me.

00:14:11.500 He's gonna, uh, you can go pretty hard here.

00:14:13.640 By the way, we're not, we're sort of on YouTube, but not really.

00:14:16.460 So you can go hard as fuck.

00:14:17.960 Although we were already going hard as fuck, but we, we really don't care now.

00:14:22.260 What would be, what would be really funny is if he just like, all of a sudden he shows

00:14:25.560 up like actually doing the match hitting himself and they're just like, this guy's running for

00:14:29.700 governor.

00:14:30.240 Uh, no, he's just like, he goes and kills like 30 people in like Austin, Texas.

00:14:34.700 And then he runs for governor and he gets it.

00:14:36.980 Like as he's doing the murder, they're just like, I don't know.

00:14:41.020 Oh guys, I think we should just give it to him.

00:14:44.320 He has enough kills now to be governor.

00:14:46.800 All right.

00:14:47.360 Oh, I meant to ask, I'm sorry.

00:14:49.920 I don't mean to throw it off, but Hey, Crip, you just had a fucking, uh, show again, didn't

00:14:53.800 you?

00:14:54.020 With, uh, Chrissy Mayer.

00:14:54.940 How did that go?

00:14:55.380 Yeah, no, we, uh, it went great.

00:14:57.760 Uh, it was fantastic.

00:14:59.300 I, uh, I showed up, I made people laugh.

00:15:03.880 I jacked off in front of a few women.

00:15:06.400 I, uh, against their will, specifically against their will.

00:15:11.160 Really?

00:15:11.580 And, uh, no, it was a great time.

00:15:14.340 I think the crowd was awesome.

00:15:16.160 The venue was fantastic.

00:15:17.640 Uh, that was probably one of the best venues I've ever been to.

00:15:22.380 Uh, it was weirdly like good.

00:15:24.700 They have like their own, uh, private bathroom and shower.

00:15:28.740 They had a washer and a dryer.

00:15:30.840 They have like a fucking nice couch.

00:15:33.380 And, uh, Chrissy made a bit about it where like, you could have showed up to that show

00:15:38.020 having shit your pants and be fine.

00:15:41.460 Which is, which is what you did.

00:15:44.900 Yeah.

00:15:45.300 Exactly.

00:15:45.960 Which was great for me because I annihilated every pair of jeans that I owned.

00:15:51.760 What is it like for Chrissy Mayer to change your diaper?

00:15:54.840 Oh my God.

00:15:55.480 So fucking hot.

00:15:58.640 Dude.

00:15:59.880 Whoa.

00:16:00.420 That's it.

00:16:00.800 If you ever get the opportunity, take it.

00:16:03.860 Dude.

00:16:04.400 That's also when he jacked off, you know, kill two birds with one stone.

00:16:08.240 Exactly.

00:16:09.000 Yeah.

00:16:09.300 Yeah.

00:16:09.620 No, it was a good chill.

00:16:12.020 Enough ramps.

00:16:12.940 Enough, you never said it was a nice venue.

00:16:14.180 So enough ramps or were they, were you stuck also getting carried up the stairs again?

00:16:18.260 So what was crazy is that that was another, uh, worry that I had, but this place fucking

00:16:24.400 bravo to them.

00:16:26.100 They had one of those fucking like grandma chairs on the stairs that go up.

00:16:32.280 Oh, yeah, yeah.

00:16:33.680 Like the stair lift type of thing.

00:16:36.160 Yeah.

00:16:36.220 So like, uh, all I had to do was sit in the chair and then have like a bunch of fucking

00:16:41.780 strong boys bring my wheelchair up.

00:16:44.300 So I was fine.

00:16:46.620 Reached up.

00:16:48.740 I just love the thought of you just.

00:16:51.900 And I acknowledge it.

00:16:54.360 Like, as soon as I got on the mic, I was like, you guys see that fucking circus act that we

00:16:59.240 had to do just to get up here.

00:17:00.640 I'm not going to lie.

00:17:01.300 There's something like super chat about being a cripple to that extent.

00:17:04.580 Like just the fact that like my existence is like, uh, to some extent a burden, burden,

00:17:10.240 but I'm going to just revel in it and fuck you.

00:17:12.240 Like, yeah, no, it's, it's the ultimate Chad move.

00:17:16.180 Yeah.

00:17:16.540 It's like, if you, if you make it to a really old age, you kind of get to experience that

00:17:20.440 too.

00:17:20.720 I think.

00:17:21.620 Yeah.

00:17:21.940 Oh yeah.

00:17:22.320 You, you make it this far, you can say, fuck it.

00:17:25.060 I feel like it's different though.

00:17:26.020 As an old person.

00:17:26.680 Cause it's just like, I don't know.

00:17:27.960 There's almost like a disdain there where it's like crippled people.

00:17:30.320 It's like, I don't know.

00:17:31.820 Like old people.

00:17:32.480 You're like, dude, God, you're like, okay, grandpa.

00:17:35.120 Like, all right, I'll help you out.

00:17:36.580 But like, like, there's this like, dude, you're a burden and like, you're like, we

00:17:41.100 all know you're about to, you know, every day now we're going to get your gold or whatever

00:17:48.140 you have.

00:17:48.760 Dude, old people can get away with like a ton of shit, man.

00:17:51.260 You just like grab a chick's ass.

00:17:52.920 They're just like, oh, he's old.

00:17:54.060 He doesn't know what he's doing.

00:17:55.480 That's what they do with me.

00:17:58.340 One of my favorite scenes from a great movie called Waiting.

00:18:01.760 I don't know if you've seen it.

00:18:02.740 Yeah.

00:18:03.500 One of my favorite scenes is the old man there.

00:18:06.080 And he was just like, he was like, oh, being old must be pretty funny.

00:18:09.560 He's like, yeah, I get to give, you know, the finger to anybody I want.

00:18:12.920 He's like, that's pretty awesome.

00:18:13.660 He's like, yeah, but I also give the finger to children a lot.

00:18:16.680 And that's not any good.

00:18:18.080 I'm just an old guy going around to him.

00:18:20.640 That's even more based.

00:18:24.080 Overall, the show was great.

00:18:25.300 I liked it a lot.

00:18:26.560 That's awesome.

00:18:27.480 Do you have anything else coming up before, I guess, quick plugs for you?

00:18:31.840 No, not that I know of right now.

00:18:33.400 I maybe want to set up a show locally here with some comedian buddies that I made friends with.

00:18:42.080 I think we're going to try and push that before, hopefully, summer's over at some point.

00:18:48.660 Yeah, let us know if you ever come to Florida.

00:18:50.780 We know some Puerto Ricans that can set up, like, a nice, intimate-type gig.

00:18:55.060 Bro, you know my cousins?

00:18:56.600 Yeah.

00:18:57.320 Yeah.

00:18:58.060 Fuck yeah, bro.

00:18:58.860 Let's go.

00:18:59.660 Yeah, for real.

00:19:00.160 If you ever come to Florida, I'm not even playing.

00:19:01.580 We did not too long.

00:19:03.180 We're still waiting.

00:19:03.880 I don't know what's going on, but we're waiting.

00:19:06.080 We did have Rob and Fire Bernstein.

00:19:07.940 What do you think?

00:19:08.860 He did a live stand-up thing.

00:19:11.800 And then we did a live podcast after the fact and made a whole event of it at our buddy.

00:19:17.000 He's supposed to probably show up this episode at some point, Top Lob.

00:19:20.420 So he's also our show's artist, one of our co-hosts.

00:19:23.960 And we did it at his house, and it was a lot of fun.

00:19:26.640 So yeah, we're not even playing.

00:19:28.480 I mean, that's, like, partially joke, but yeah, for real, if you do ever come to Florida,

00:19:30.980 holler us, and we can probably set something up like that all over again, whether it be

00:19:34.280 at his house, my house.

00:19:35.320 We end up having, like, 30 to 50-ish people.

00:19:38.080 So, you know.

00:19:38.900 Yeah.

00:19:39.000 No, that's sick.

00:19:39.660 I'll definitely keep that in mind.

00:19:40.820 My brother is tattooing out there in Florida right now.

00:19:44.460 Yeah.

00:19:45.080 Well, hell yeah, dude.

00:19:46.500 He should have a tattoo.

00:19:47.840 Oh, yeah.

00:19:48.520 No, he's coming home.

00:19:50.900 He's coming home, and he's making his tattoo shit.

00:19:53.040 So I'm going to get a tattoo of Bruce Jenner before the fucking thing, like, running or

00:19:58.120 some shit.

00:19:59.180 It's really ironic.

00:20:01.720 See, I was actually going to get you tattooed on me as a trans woman.

00:20:07.260 Oh, I know.

00:20:08.160 I look great.

00:20:09.020 I did that fucking change thing, the filter that shows you as a woman, and I am fucking

00:20:15.400 bangable.

00:20:16.800 Female date.

00:20:17.980 Dude, I want a tattoo from Crip is what I want.

00:20:20.240 Or female Cole would just be Nick Cole.

00:20:26.660 Yep, yep, yep.

00:20:29.380 If Crip gets leg tattoos, he won't even feel it.

00:20:32.880 So that's even better.

00:20:34.400 I don't know if that's how that works.

00:20:38.240 Tell me if it's a sponsor, family.

00:20:40.500 I think you should get a dick tattoo, and then if you could literally just say it and

00:20:43.620 just be like, I mean, I have a tattoo on my dick, and they just don't believe you, and

00:20:48.280 you just pull down your pants.

00:20:49.840 It's like, no one's going to get upset at you.

00:20:51.560 It's not like they can really do anything.

00:20:53.400 Dude, I had a tattoo artist who legit had a tattoo on his dick, and I thought it was

00:20:56.800 crazy, and then he legit was like, yeah, I think it was something stupid, some sort

00:21:01.280 of gag tattoo, like slippery.

00:21:02.740 I wish I could remember what it said.

00:21:04.300 Slippery wins what?

00:21:05.880 Something like that.

00:21:06.740 It was some sort of gag thing, and he literally was like, yeah, the only reason I got my dick

00:21:10.820 tattooed is so I can fuck bitches.

00:21:12.320 And he's like, because he was a good-looking guy, and he was already a really tatted-up guy.

00:21:16.320 He's a tattoo artist.

00:21:17.000 So he's like, I can't tell you how many times women are like, oh my god, look at your tattoos.

00:21:22.420 Oh, I love them.

00:21:23.500 Are you tattooed anywhere weird?

00:21:25.160 Anything crazy?

00:21:25.900 He's like, oh, he's gone.

00:21:27.380 And then he's like, oh, yeah, I have a tattoo on my dick.

00:21:32.100 And they'll be like, what?

00:21:33.180 No way.

00:21:34.180 And then you're like, yeah, I'll show you.

00:21:36.780 And then you whip your dick out.

00:21:38.480 And like, once you got your dick out, like, I mean, at that point, it's like an easy transition.

00:21:42.860 Like, you know, right into their mouth.

00:21:44.120 Yeah, and there's two thirds of the way there, pretty much.

00:21:46.020 Yeah.

00:21:46.940 What you want to do is get a tattoo on your dick.

00:21:50.040 Make it one of those tattoos where it looks like one thing when it's flaccid, but then it changes into something else when you have a boner.

00:21:56.000 Oh, yeah, like those guys that get on their biceps.

00:21:57.820 It's like, oh, yeah, the cannon is shooting whenever I'm flaccid.

00:22:02.020 Exactly.

00:22:03.120 The dick is shooting.

00:22:05.140 I tell girls that my dick tattoo, it works like the, what is it, the fruit roll-up tattoos, where you can, like, leave it on your tongue if you just have to keep it there for a little bit.

00:22:18.920 Oh, I know.

00:22:21.080 It gives you the tattoo on your tongue, and so you're like, no, just put it in your mouth.

00:22:24.280 Just put it in there.

00:22:24.840 Yeah, and then whenever they don't, and when it doesn't transfer, I'm just like, you're doing it wrong.

00:22:29.680 You have to, like, hold on.

00:22:31.380 Keep it there a little bit longer.

00:22:33.520 Yeah.

00:22:34.820 It's actually friction-based.

00:22:36.400 It's actually friction-based.

00:22:37.460 You have to really get it going, and it'll, it's like, kind of rolls on.

00:22:42.680 It's actually really great.

00:22:43.440 So just kind of sit there and put it in and out of your mouth.

00:22:45.940 And that's the story of how I met all your guys' moms.

00:22:51.600 All right, let's go back to the glow-diggers.

00:22:53.520 That's a black spot.

00:22:54.920 Let's go back to the glow-diggers.

00:22:56.480 What else do we have too much to say about this whole shooting thing?

00:22:59.380 I'm not going to lie.

00:23:00.000 It glows, but I'm not ready to say it's 100% a fed thing, although it glows like a motherfucker.

00:23:05.180 Wait, the Uvalu?

00:23:06.640 Yeah.

00:23:07.660 Yeah, no, it glows 100%, dude.

00:23:09.740 Well, whenever you think about, okay, so there was that whole thing with the sheriff, whatever, and he gets promoted.

00:23:13.980 Whatever.

00:23:14.280 I don't see that as some sort of strong, glowy thing.

00:23:18.580 I mean, you can make a connection there, but I don't think it's a strong one.

00:23:21.360 Well, it's a small connection and a whole other bunch of connections.

00:23:24.560 Oh, yes.

00:23:25.440 It's a tangential connection, yes.

00:23:27.360 It's just massive corruption, man, because you have a police department that you know didn't do anything and let this whole thing happen.

00:23:33.920 And then the sheriff of that department just gets promoted immediately after that.

00:23:38.120 He's gone again.

00:23:39.300 All right.

00:23:39.480 The police response can totally get dismissed in general, and even that aspect of it can be dismissed as just corruption or just cops sucking.

00:23:49.180 Because, I mean, we're all not big fans of cops, so it's not something we're surprised by.

00:23:54.920 Although, let's be real.

00:23:55.920 If that was some crazy, like, Alex Jones, Sandy Hook type shit, yeah, that would be like they would be trying to keep people away type deal.

00:24:03.000 By the way, one of my favorite things in Reno was Scott Horton talking about it in the middle of the Starbucks at the hotel, and he was just flipping out, going off, and, like, fed-speaking basically about what he wanted to do to these cops.

00:24:15.160 I'm like, holy shit.

00:24:16.480 No, because the other thing is, like, you have the whole story about the door being propped open by the teacher, which was very weird.

00:24:24.500 And they've come back now and said, actually, oh, that was false.

00:24:27.820 They actually closed the door, but it never locked, which is also bullshit.

00:24:30.900 That's not that crazy.

00:24:32.060 I mean, I'm the only one here with kids.

00:24:36.080 Speak for yourself.

00:24:37.360 Yeah.

00:24:38.640 With my kids' school, like, it is kind of weird to think with modern schools, and this is in Texas, every school my kids have ever gone to has been insanely, like, bulletproof windows, like, only, like, one entry, multiple, like, ways to get through.

00:24:52.700 You have to, like, get rung in.

00:24:53.920 But there have been times where it would be like, oh, yeah, but, oh, our door's fucked up and shit like that.

00:24:58.700 And it's not really that out of the ordinary.

00:25:01.100 Okay.

00:25:01.760 There's that.

00:25:02.380 Fine.

00:25:02.780 Fine.

00:25:03.020 Fine.

00:25:03.700 Now, the thing is, the shooter did go to that one door, which is very weird.

00:25:07.800 Well, it was probably the fucking front door.

00:25:09.480 Like, I mean, there usually is no main entrance.

00:25:10.800 No, it was, like, the side.

00:25:12.160 Was it?

00:25:12.460 It was a side.

00:25:13.440 Okay.

00:25:14.120 Well, that's weird.

00:25:14.680 If it's not the main entrance, that is a little bit, like, how the fuck did you know that?

00:25:18.760 No, then you have, like, all the things about him being chased by the police beforehand.

00:25:23.540 Yes, that's just weird.

00:25:24.420 Or the border patrol.

00:25:24.640 The timeline is very weird.

00:25:26.060 Because he supposedly shot his grandma.

00:25:29.020 Am I wrong?

00:25:29.880 I have not studied this intensively at all.

00:25:31.980 I've just been following the schizo fucking-

00:25:34.080 How bad was that grandma, by the way?

00:25:35.720 Huh?

00:25:36.360 How bad was that grandma, by the way?

00:25:37.740 Right?

00:25:38.020 Pretty awful.

00:25:38.880 Apparently, he shot his grandma.

00:25:40.760 Apparently, the cops were already in pursuit.

00:25:42.700 He ran off to some extent.

00:25:44.760 Like, somehow, he had some truck that he crashed something like, I mean, I'm not exactly sure

00:25:49.460 if it was 50, 100 yards, a decent distance away from the school.

00:25:53.640 So, the cops were literally already there.

00:25:57.120 He fucking then, like, somehow made it from that substantial distance, whether it was 50 yards,

00:26:02.460 100 yards, a quarter mile, whatever it was, from the truck to the school.

00:26:07.300 Apparently, he stood outside the school for, I think, 12 minutes.

00:26:09.880 He was just shooting randomly, apparently.

00:26:13.520 And then he entered the school.

00:26:15.420 The whole time, the cops were there.

00:26:17.920 Yeah.

00:26:18.260 Yeah.

00:26:18.300 Because they were already in pursuit prior.

00:26:19.980 There was also-

00:26:20.820 There was evidence on his truck of-

00:26:24.880 Well, one, I believe the rear axle had snapped in half or some shit like that.

00:26:28.300 But that was, you know, it had gone off into a ditch.

00:26:30.780 Yeah.

00:26:30.960 Also, on the rear, on the driver's, the rear driver's side, there was a large dent in the

00:26:39.620 truck also, which is basically how they pit maneuver whenever the cops, like, push you

00:26:45.320 off the road.

00:26:45.980 Like, that was literally basically what happened.

00:26:48.060 So, they knew the whole time where he was.

00:26:50.660 Why was Border Patrol at the fucking school?

00:26:52.860 Why were there federal marshals at the school?

00:26:54.880 Well, they showed up after that.

00:26:56.440 That's easily explainable, I'm sure.

00:26:57.960 They showed up really quickly.

00:26:59.400 Well, in addition to that-

00:27:00.280 It was like an hour.

00:27:01.280 They're the ones who showed up after the fact to fix the fucking cops' fuck-up.

00:27:05.180 Yeah, but there were also phone calls.

00:27:06.480 No, Border Patrol did that.

00:27:07.420 Border Patrol killed the dude.

00:27:09.940 Yeah.

00:27:10.360 It was, like, off-duty, I believe, Border Patrol.

00:27:12.620 Yeah.

00:27:13.020 It's like a Jeremy Cop-

00:27:14.000 Yeah, you're welcome.

00:27:15.180 Yeah.

00:27:16.460 Maybe all the-

00:27:17.240 This is Texas, man.

00:27:18.320 Maybe all the kids were Mexican immigrants.

00:27:20.500 Border Patrol-

00:27:21.300 Here's the thing.

00:27:21.920 This is just helps Dave Smith's argument out about, like, closed borders.

00:27:26.560 Yeah, right.

00:27:27.000 Border Patrol stopped this guy.

00:27:28.640 Those kids would still be alive if they didn't immigrate to Texas.

00:27:32.740 No, but-

00:27:33.100 Oh, and then also, yeah, there was the whole thing about this guy being-

00:27:35.280 Junkie Jeff was saying, I still want to point out the fact that he was 14-

00:27:38.320 14-4 years ago when two 14-year-olds were picked up for wanting to shoot up a school-

00:27:43.240 It's my understanding that's confirmed, that he did, years ago, threaten to shoot up his high school.

00:27:48.080 Yeah.

00:27:48.220 The FBI was aware of him.

00:27:50.260 So that's another thing of the FBI was aware.

00:27:52.540 Right.

00:27:52.820 And so it's like, it's, you can take one path of the FBI did a shit job, which is perfectly reasonable.

00:28:00.540 Or aware of the 9-11 plot, too.

00:28:02.540 Yeah.

00:28:02.960 Yeah, exactly.

00:28:03.660 Or, obviously, or they were aware, and then their eyes kind of fucking widened and go,

00:28:08.680 oh, okay, huh.

00:28:09.700 Well, you know, because, I mean, if we're playing the whole, like, red flag type shit,

00:28:13.360 you know.

00:28:13.680 Right.

00:28:14.160 We're not red flag, false flag.

00:28:17.760 Yeah.

00:28:18.620 So they fucking, and there's a whole weird story.

00:28:22.440 I don't know how true it is about, like, he was on Reddit, and I guess there was some,

00:28:25.940 like, glowy-looking motherfucker that was kind of like, hey, man, you should shoot up your

00:28:29.900 school.

00:28:30.620 Like, uh-

00:28:30.800 And aliens?

00:28:31.780 No, there was-

00:28:32.400 I'm just gonna call aliens.

00:28:33.280 Yeah, there was that stuff about how, well, wasn't there some kind of connection that,

00:28:39.700 him and the Buffalo shooter were on the same Discord.

00:28:44.620 I heard that.

00:28:45.260 I don't know how true that is.

00:28:46.200 I saw that.

00:28:46.860 I don't know.

00:28:47.180 Yeah, dude.

00:28:47.860 It's a school shooting Discord.

00:28:49.300 You're not in there.

00:28:50.440 The weirdest thing, though, is he had two pimped-out ARs.

00:28:54.820 Pimped-out.

00:28:55.660 Daniel Defense ARs, dude.

00:28:57.120 Dude, my AR was a-

00:28:58.860 Like, I have one AR, and it was a panic buy, and it's not even anything that nice and pimped

00:29:02.660 out.

00:29:02.900 Like, and I can't even imagine being in high school and be like, I'm gonna get fucking two

00:29:06.360 of them, like, and be like-

00:29:08.600 And then he had a nice truck.

00:29:10.760 And a fucking base, actually.

00:29:11.820 Yeah, I don't know.

00:29:13.480 With a ton of ammo, too, didn't it?

00:29:15.800 He had, like, a-

00:29:17.200 Yeah.

00:29:17.860 Yeah, also-

00:29:18.200 Well, yeah, you need the ammo, and you're gonna shoot kids, dude.

00:29:22.380 It is crazy how much-

00:29:24.000 How many shots a kid can take.

00:29:25.540 Like, they really-

00:29:26.360 Those things are fucking tanks, man.

00:29:27.560 Well, I mean, you see, they're pretty indestructible.

00:29:29.860 They fucking fall out of trees all the time.

00:29:32.280 They walk that shit off.

00:29:33.300 They're like, it's okay.

00:29:34.420 Ooh, someone in the chat brought up the MKUltra angle, because apparently, which I guess it's

00:29:41.700 not that crazy.

00:29:42.580 What's that, Top?

00:29:43.360 That these psycho motherfuckers would have therapists.

00:29:47.060 But apparently, this guy had a therapist at one point.

00:29:50.420 The one, the past one, the last one, I forget, what was it, Chicago, or whatever the fuck,

00:29:55.020 had a therapist as well.

00:29:56.620 And if you make the connections, I know this is a little bit schizo, he fucking, if you kind

00:30:01.640 of make the connection of, like, having a therapist, you know, like, a lot of therapists

00:30:05.300 get involved in hypnotism.

00:30:06.440 I believe people implied that therapist was one of those, like, one that does hypnotism

00:30:10.120 stuff as well.

00:30:11.280 If you kind of take into account a lot of MKUltra shit they did way back in the day, it's not

00:30:16.160 that far-fetched that they took some crazy kid, influenced him to go do some crazy shit,

00:30:22.460 and, you know, let it kind of run its course.

00:30:24.500 Top's audio is too loud, I think.

00:30:27.300 Right?

00:30:27.640 What's up, dude?

00:30:28.860 What's up?

00:30:29.660 Oh, shit.

00:30:29.860 He's good, but he's not even near the mic right now.

00:30:31.980 He turned it up.

00:30:33.340 No, it's not good.

00:30:34.360 I turned it up.

00:30:36.260 I do want to bring up someone, I don't know what you call these on Odyssey, gave us a token,

00:30:42.460 but I guess it's like a super chat.

00:30:44.620 He said, a teenager having 5K to spend on guns and ammo makes about as much sense as

00:30:49.340 an old geezer lugging 700 pounds of weapons up to a room in Mandalay Bay.

00:30:53.120 Yeah, exactly.

00:30:53.820 It's very much, it glows like that.

00:30:55.260 I will say the Vegas one is, glows way harder, whereas this one is like, I don't know, maybe

00:31:01.200 I could figure out something to fucking, like, to explain it, but some young kid having like

00:31:08.080 that much disposable income makes no fucking sense to me.

00:31:11.380 I don't know what you guys are talking about so far, but I did hear something interesting

00:31:16.100 and it reminded me of like the Charles Manson, what the CIA had to do with like Charles Manson

00:31:22.600 and his compound, and they had therapists.

00:31:26.460 I'll be right back.

00:31:26.920 Yeah, they had like some kind of therapist that would like talk with his people at his

00:31:32.960 compound, and in a way they were kind of influencing them to do things.

00:31:38.440 And every time Charles Manson did some crazy shit, like he would be trying to be put in

00:31:43.380 jail, and they just kept letting him out by the end of, you know, his reign.

00:31:48.060 Yeah.

00:31:48.400 Do you have a therapist, and how much do they try to get you to kill your mom?

00:31:52.340 Well, I don't need anybody to tell me to try and kill my mom.

00:31:59.800 I've been doing that since pre-birth, dude.

00:32:03.260 I was in that bitch, and I was like, I'm taking it fucking down.

00:32:07.460 I know what you're fucking trying to do to me.

00:32:10.100 On the way out, you're just like scratching all their insides.

00:32:13.280 You just like, you sharpen your teeth and fingernails in the womb.

00:32:17.140 You're just like on the way, like, nah, I'm going to take you with me, bitch.

00:32:21.380 Nah.

00:32:22.340 I mean, you can't be in comedy and have good mental health, so like, you know, I'm doing

00:32:29.760 as okay as the next guy that wants to secretly blow his brains out, you know?

00:32:36.100 So, it would be pretty funny to think how many, if comedy didn't exist, or like the comedy

00:32:42.440 actual scene, how many more school shooters there would be, because all these guys are

00:32:46.760 just fucking mental, but they're just getting on stage and making money actually telling

00:32:50.960 Yeah, dude, you got to channel that energy, man.

00:32:53.320 Instead of...

00:32:54.040 You do.

00:32:54.400 Some people, you know, like me, we put it into making people laugh at fucked up shit and

00:32:59.840 trying to make the world a little bit lighter.

00:33:01.960 Other people try and get rid of kids.

00:33:04.260 Yeah.

00:33:04.560 And, you know...

00:33:05.220 Yeah, instead of killing at schools, you got to kill at comedy clubs.

00:33:08.300 Come on.

00:33:08.620 Right.

00:33:09.360 And I think one's a little bit more ethical than the other.

00:33:13.140 I won't say which, because I'm not trying to divide any people.

00:33:17.040 All I will say is that I love abortion.

00:33:22.160 Abortion is great.

00:33:23.220 Oh, by the way, ignore the rant on Odyssey said, let's be honest, the kids who survived

00:33:30.880 are pumped to have summer start early.

00:33:33.520 Well, and I think, I'm sweating out, but I was skipping a fucking beat when that shit

00:33:38.540 was unfolding.

00:33:39.940 I was in the living room with my mom, and I was showing her, I was like, oh, did you

00:33:43.740 hear?

00:33:44.320 She was like, no, no.

00:33:45.140 And I showed her, and I was like, man, do you think they're going to have school

00:33:49.100 tomorrow?

00:33:49.380 I bet there's some kids right now that had no idea what was happening, and they just

00:33:58.740 went home, and they were like, do I have school tomorrow?

00:34:03.400 No, the best is going to be some kid that is, like, failing his math class, and now he

00:34:09.120 gets straight A's, and then he's just like, he's like, oh, I just, I lucked out, mom and

00:34:14.100 dad, don't worry.

00:34:15.840 Yeah, that was actually the motivation.

00:34:17.300 I chose some lead, and now I'm an A student.

00:34:20.880 That's actually a good bit, right?

00:34:22.640 Like, somebody just nagging some nerd kid to shoot up the school so he could pass algebra.

00:34:29.960 Or even better, the super, there's like the, you have the valedictorian, who's like fucking

00:34:35.220 super smart, and then you have the guy, like, salutatorian, or the second, in the second

00:34:40.040 place guy, like, real, like, the shooter comes in, he's like, who's that fucking dude?

00:34:46.440 He's valedictorian now.

00:34:48.960 Dude, there's a movie, A Dead Man on Campus, where I'm pretty sure the plot is that this

00:34:55.140 guy who's failing convinces his roommate to commit suicide, and he's trying to convince

00:35:00.060 his roommate to commit suicide, so that he passes.

00:35:05.160 Yeah, yeah.

00:35:06.520 No, that's the thing, and you know what?

00:35:07.980 I kind of wonder if that could work in, like, a new reboot for Ferris Bueller.

00:35:15.600 That's the direction I'd go.

00:35:23.800 Because, didn't he, like, already commit, like, a bunch of felonies in Ferris Bueller's

00:35:27.640 Daylight?

00:35:27.940 Oh, absolutely.

00:35:29.040 Yeah, so, like, what's adding a little bit of, you know, child murder to it?

00:35:32.800 Like, if he just goes in there and shoots up a school.

00:35:35.040 Well, that's right, and fun fact, the actor who plays the principal or whatever is a convicted

00:35:41.600 pedophile, yeah.

00:35:43.920 Hell yeah.

00:35:44.700 And he's already there.

00:35:47.180 Yeah.

00:35:47.680 I wonder how many of those kids had information that could lead to Hillary Clinton's arrest.

00:35:51.820 At least two.

00:35:53.940 Now we're getting deep here.

00:35:56.540 All right.

00:35:57.460 I think we've beat, any of you guys have anything more on shooting stuff, on Glowies?

00:36:02.060 I mean, I was just going to bring up, well, I thought we were going to talk about the Vegas

00:36:05.280 shooting a little bit, but I was going to bring up.

00:36:07.060 Go into it.

00:36:07.980 I feel like the Vegas ones, like, almost deserves borderline half its own episode and get someone

00:36:12.620 who knows more about that.

00:36:13.660 But, like, say if we do end up getting Sam for, like, the last one, I feel like he probably

00:36:17.620 has a lot of information.

00:36:18.880 But, I mean, if you want to go into it, we can.

00:36:20.480 Well, so, well, I was just going to mention that when I was in Reno, I was talking to this

00:36:24.700 dude.

00:36:25.280 I wish I could remember his name.

00:36:26.780 I want to say it was, like, something Burns or something.

00:36:28.780 And he's one of the newcomers to the Mises Caucus, young dude, looks like Jason Mewes, fucking

00:36:34.700 long-ass hair.

00:36:36.500 All right, one second.

00:36:37.860 Apparently, David's freaking out.

00:36:39.340 Apparently, he sent you a video.

00:36:41.220 So, we can either say, do the funny thing and say, fuck you, stop being annoying about

00:36:45.760 it, or play it.

00:36:47.820 It's a Jinx video, so it's actually probably pretty dope.

00:36:49.880 Let's make his video be, like, the Jacob Daniel of videos.

00:36:55.040 Yes.

00:36:56.500 No, so this guy that I was talking to, the Las Vegas Mecox dude, he was saying that there

00:37:04.820 were a bunch of people who were at the Vegas shooting who were convinced that the gunfire

00:37:12.320 was coming from helicopters and not from the Mandalay Bay Hotel.

00:37:17.420 Hell yeah.

00:37:17.780 And there was, like, there were witnesses who were in air traffic control who were saying

00:37:24.220 that they saw, I think, three or four helicopters come in in, like, a straight-line formation,

00:37:29.500 and they all, like, turned off their transponders all at the same time, right when they were

00:37:34.180 over the Mandalay Bay.

00:37:35.660 So, they kind of, like, I guess they disappeared, like, off-radar or something, and then they

00:37:40.000 all came back on, like, south of the city, somewhere else, all in a straight line, like,

00:37:45.200 leaving after it happened.

00:37:46.600 This is actually, Jose, you'll probably remember this from the, what I did for this whole month

00:37:52.400 is I sent the entire chat, the Wendigoon deep dive into all the conspiracy, the nine-and-a-half-hour

00:37:59.480 conspiracy theory iceberg, and only Jose watched it either.

00:38:02.880 Yeah, well, I was too busy.

00:38:04.380 Before we get into that, I do want to touch on, someone said, someone said, ignore the

00:38:09.040 rant, said in Odyssey, let's be honest, they were country fans, which means they were all

00:38:12.080 retarded beginning with, which is already a premise I was thinking in my head, like,

00:38:15.740 all right, obviously it's awful to kill a bunch of people, but let's say you put yourself

00:38:20.080 in the frame of mind of these are all bad people, like, people deserving of death.

00:38:25.020 Wouldn't that, I'm not going to lie, that's kind of fucking awesome to be like, all right,

00:38:28.400 we're, it's kind of like, you've seen those videos, like, where they'll go, like, hog

00:38:32.380 hunting from helicopters with, like, machine guns, like, it's the same idea, like, how

00:38:36.660 cool would that be to be like, just, like, mowing down motherfuckers, especially if you're

00:38:41.200 like, fuck these people, like, I'm not gonna lie, there's something awesome about that,

00:38:44.820 like, obviously if you separate the fact that that's a valuable human life, but you

00:38:48.520 can convince yourself that these are people worthy of death, fucking blast.

00:38:53.380 The reason I didn't watch your nine-hour documentary from Wendigoon is because I have watched thousands

00:38:59.860 of hours of conspiracy theory everywhere else, so, like, you're giving me iceberg stuff,

00:39:04.200 I'm already, like, black belt, I, I'm convinced that there were Saudi royals there, there was

00:39:08.920 a hit on one of them, and yeah, something, it had something to do with the, with the

00:39:13.180 helicopters, because there were, like, uh, not training helicopters, but, like, uh, what

00:39:17.680 are they called, when you're giving tours, there was some, like, strange activity going

00:39:20.900 on on one of those helipads where there was, like, supposed to be a tour going on at the

00:39:25.380 same time while a Saudi royal was visiting, it's just all kinds of wild shit.

00:39:28.980 If you remember, in the conspiracy theory iceberg, there was a whole conspiracy theory about

00:39:33.720 black helicopters, uh, do you remember this?

00:39:37.400 Uh, no, vaguely, I, I, there was so many, it's nine and a half hours, I will say, we

00:39:42.060 could back you up, we could back you up for this thing, that, I will say the conspiracy

00:39:46.820 pyramid was great for a primer for this month, because it's just random shit, like, it doesn't

00:39:53.220 ever go deep in any one of them, it just gives you a surface level, and let's be real,

00:39:56.720 we're probably not gonna go deep into any of these, we're just shooting the shit about

00:40:00.280 them, like, talking about how weird they are, so something like, to what Top says, he's

00:40:04.300 gone deep in these things, whereas it's better to just have, like, surface level knowledge

00:40:07.360 so we can just be idiots, like, don't take, don't take anything we say in this, like, month

00:40:11.200 seriously, because you should, yeah, exactly, except for when he says everything Grip says

00:40:15.800 is absolutely 100% true, but if you really do, like, we're just gonna breeze over shit and

00:40:20.420 stuff that we find interesting, and if you really wanna look at it, go look into it on your

00:40:23.480 own later, don't just be like, you know what, they said fucking, they said glow niggers

00:40:27.340 did 9-11, so I guess that's what happened, so, you know, like, yeah, it probably is what

00:40:32.080 happened, but, you know, take that to the base.

00:40:34.340 Well, yeah, they did.

00:40:35.780 Here's a conspiracy theory, I haven't seen Clint in a while, and, uh, Ethan Ralph just

00:40:41.300 got his ass whooped, so I'm like, I don't know, man.

00:40:45.460 You're welcome.

00:40:45.980 No, the thing with the black helicopters, there was two, it's really, this one's actually

00:40:52.980 really funny, so there's two different, uh, conspiracy theories along with black helicopters,

00:40:57.520 one is, like, you see them, like, going over, like, you'll just see black helicopters in the

00:41:02.140 sky, like, randomly, and you're like, okay, they don't have any, like, discernible, they

00:41:07.160 don't have any, like, uh, flags, or any, like, numbers, they're just black, they just

00:41:11.260 kind of, like, go overhead, and people, like, everybody's seen them before, like, just seen

00:41:14.500 them kind of go over, like, what the fuck are those, like, are they, some people said

00:41:18.220 that they're, um, aliens, like, that's actually aliens, are the black helicopters, um, or they're

00:41:24.100 just, like, doing random government shit, like, black ops, um, the other one is that

00:41:29.280 black helicopters are actually really, really fucking tiny, microscopic, uh, things that

00:41:34.400 live in your blood, um, and they control you.

00:41:37.200 Yeah, I'm not gonna lie, this is one of the retarded ones, right?

00:41:39.520 It's just, like, next level, level schizo bullshit, because I'm not gonna lie, I see

00:41:45.300 black helicopters, like, I live out in the country, and every now and then you'll see

00:41:47.800 a helicopter, and I'm, I'm, I'm, like, a little bit schizo, and because I'm, like, you

00:41:52.260 know, super anarchist, you know, like, I live out in the country, so part of me is, like,

00:41:56.100 are you looking at me, motherfucker?

00:41:57.460 Like, I'll look up, I'll be, like, what the fuck's going on here, and I'll be, I'll be

00:42:01.260 smoking a J on my fucking, my front porch, and be, like, as a libertarian, I often

00:42:06.180 think, like, so I own this much property, and this much property, right?

00:42:09.440 But how much do I own that way?

00:42:11.120 And when I see, when I see a helicopter, I'm, like, is he, is he close enough for me to

00:42:16.000 shoot him down, because I can take that?

00:42:17.540 Yeah, fuck, this is some rock parties.

00:42:19.540 Does your property extend all the way up into the, into the sky, man?

00:42:23.740 I don't know.

00:42:24.660 You're on my property now, bitch.

00:42:26.840 Yeah.

00:42:27.820 Long dick in this property, man.

00:42:29.200 Fuck you, Junkie Jet, the Winnington video was amazing.

00:42:31.340 No, it's not dumb as fuck.

00:42:32.480 How is it dumb?

00:42:33.220 It's nine and a half hours of just breezing over random conspiracy.

00:42:36.480 Yeah, he wasn't, he wasn't, like, getting, he was just kind of, like, he touches on it.

00:42:40.380 He just goes, he's, like, I'm going to explain what this conspiracy theory is.

00:42:43.860 I will not give my thoughts, but sometimes he does.

00:42:47.460 But most of the time, it's, like, I'm not going to give my, oh, this is bullshit, like,

00:42:51.740 this is, or something like that.

00:42:52.640 He just goes, I'm going to explain it, and, like, what they say it is, which, but.

00:42:55.980 I don't even know how you can say it's dumb as fuck.

00:42:58.260 Like, it's neither dumb nor smart.

00:43:00.440 It's literally just kind of, like, here's this conspiracy.

00:43:03.280 Okay, half of them aren't conspiracies.

00:43:04.680 That's a fair point.

00:43:05.360 Some of them were, like, how is this a conspiracy?

00:43:07.320 Like, one of my favorite ones was God's ego death, and that is just, that's just, like,

00:43:11.500 this, like, it's almost like a, it's like a theological, philosophical type concept.

00:43:16.860 It's the idea that the universe is simply God experiencing ego death, which is an interesting

00:43:22.500 concept.

00:43:23.000 You know what ego death is?

00:43:24.620 Like, if you ever trip balls.

00:43:25.940 Um, and the, and it does kind of fit into the idea that, like, the, by the way, that's

00:43:30.780 the one of the ones I thought you would really like, but I don't understand.

00:43:34.460 Oh, you don't understand?

00:43:35.120 Oh, well, I feel like this is a weird episode of Dude On, but, um, you know, the idea, it

00:43:40.500 makes sense to me.

00:43:41.540 Like, it kind of, I get it.

00:43:44.020 I do think it kind of precludes the Christian God, at least a typical, like, idea of it,

00:43:48.860 because it would essentially mean that it, it wouldn't be all powerful in the way that

00:43:53.800 you think of all powerful, because it wouldn't be able to control it, because the idea is

00:43:57.820 that, alright, how you get to God's ego death is, the building block, it starts with, uh,

00:44:04.080 if anyone's heard of the God of the gaps argument, it's the argument that, uh, like, religious

00:44:07.560 That's what they call me, actually.

00:44:09.080 Yeah.

00:44:09.420 Yeah.

00:44:09.720 Hold on.

00:44:10.000 I don't want to, I don't want to cut you off, but I think this is, like, this is for Sam

00:44:13.400 Tripoli.

00:44:14.040 Yeah.

00:44:14.440 Okay.

00:44:14.860 Yeah.

00:44:15.420 Sorry.

00:44:16.600 This is, this is, like, I'm going to totally throw off the vibe.

00:44:19.960 It's kind of deep, fucking philosophical, uh, theological.

00:44:23.800 I just said, someone give Jose a wedgie.

00:44:26.880 Anyways, go on.

00:44:27.900 Ego death is essentially post-nut clarity, but on a deeper level.

00:44:32.920 Yeah.

00:44:33.620 Exactly.

00:44:34.200 Oh, okay.

00:44:35.020 That is, okay, that makes a lot.

00:44:36.400 Yeah, but basically, uh, so God actually jizzed the universe into existence.

00:44:41.280 Yeah, and then it's the shame.

00:44:43.420 And then afterwards, the shame, he goes, like, ah, fuck, I just, I did it again.

00:44:48.860 That's why it was the big bang.

00:44:50.540 Serious question.

00:44:51.220 You guys get post-nut clarity, because, I mean, are you talking, uh, Christian?

00:44:54.740 Oh, no, I, I get post-nut, uh, guilt.

00:44:57.500 Another nut.

00:44:58.340 Yeah.

00:44:59.060 Post-nut, another nut.

00:45:00.040 Another nut.

00:45:01.600 86 times.

00:45:02.440 Post-nut nut.

00:45:03.080 Post-nut pre-nut.

00:45:05.360 Are you talking about after masturbation or sex?

00:45:08.340 Because I feel like these things are the worst.

00:45:10.620 Masturbation.

00:45:10.700 Definitely masturbation.

00:45:13.120 But both, really.

00:45:13.980 Even after, like, like, I'm not gonna lie, like, you're married, Top, so I'm sure you've

00:45:17.760 had some time where you've been, like, mad at your wife or some shit, or, like, you

00:45:21.120 guys have been in an argument.

00:45:21.700 You are, too, Cole, so you'll get this.

00:45:23.660 Or you've been a dick.

00:45:24.740 Say it's been a few days, you haven't gotten laid, or me and you, Top, we're married, so

00:45:28.960 maybe it's been a week or two and you haven't gotten laid, so you're all fucking pent up

00:45:32.340 and asshole.

00:45:33.240 My wife is pregnant, dude.

00:45:34.820 Okay, yeah, you're gonna experience that now.

00:45:37.000 Welcome to Thunderdome, bitch.

00:45:38.380 Wait till the end.

00:45:39.660 No, no, no, no.

00:45:40.420 You need the pocket pussy, man.

00:45:41.660 Cole, I'm gonna tell you, man, wait until she's, like, eight or nine months and she

00:45:45.020 wants that baby to drop.

00:45:46.540 Oh, yeah, that's when the fucking comes.

00:45:48.080 And you're like, this is weird fucking, because you're like, like, I love my wife and she's

00:45:52.120 beautiful, but I'm kind of, like, fucking a beach whale.

00:45:54.520 And it's more of a task, because she's like, it'll make the baby come quicker.

00:45:58.240 Fuck me.

00:45:59.880 Like I've always said, it's really weird, because, like, your penis is, like, an inch away

00:46:05.240 from your kid's head.

00:46:05.780 Oh, who gives a fuck about that?

00:46:07.120 There you go.

00:46:08.480 It could be, maybe.

00:46:11.660 That's asserting your dominance.

00:46:15.380 Toking you in the head of my dick.

00:46:17.000 That's true.

00:46:17.780 Yeah, son, I'm fucking your mother right now.

00:46:20.420 All of us, Mary, guys, understand this.

00:46:22.380 That, like, after she gives birth, too, and then, like, she's recovered and you're having

00:46:28.100 sex and there's, like, a little bit of milk coming out.

00:46:29.640 I'm telling you, bro.

00:46:31.040 I'm telling you.

00:46:32.100 Yeah, dude.

00:46:33.000 No, that's, like, my fantasy.

00:46:34.600 But anyways, like, you've been kind of a dick, or, like, you can tell you it's not your

00:46:39.640 normal self, and then you finally get that nut off, and you're like, hey, I'm so sorry.

00:46:44.620 I've been so mean.

00:46:45.980 Like, I don't know why I act like this.

00:46:48.340 I thought you were going post that clarity, as in, like, she's been, she did some stupid

00:46:53.380 shit, and, like, you're really pissed off her, but then she offers up some pussy, and

00:46:57.680 then you're just like, all right, I'm going to smash, and then you smash, and afterwards

00:47:00.660 you're like, I just, I'm still mad here.

00:47:03.740 I'm still mad.

00:47:06.300 I've done some foolish shit for pussy before, even from the wife I've been married to for,

00:47:10.260 like, 10 years, so I'm like, I don't even know why I'm putting this kind of work in for

00:47:12.840 pussy I've had a million times, but, like, we'll do some dumb, silly shit, because you'll

00:47:16.860 be like, I think I might get my dick sucked if I do this, do X action, and then you do

00:47:21.600 it, and then later you get your dick sucked, and you're like, God, I'm such a fucking

00:47:24.900 simp.

00:47:27.240 Brian McWilliams, Clint, and Reed thought that it was weird that I mentioned this on

00:47:32.540 the Lines of Liberty show that we did, the Electric Liberty Land, whatever the fuck it's

00:47:36.120 called now, where we were talking about cumming, and, like, whether or not you do it when you're

00:47:41.220 sick, and I said that, yes, I do, and it's because it clears my sinuses, and they were

00:47:46.820 like, what the fuck?

00:47:48.360 It's post-cut clarity, man, I swear it works.

00:47:51.000 I just feel, I just feel, like, tired and guilty afterward.

00:47:55.480 Yeah, like, yeah, I feel shame, basically.

00:47:57.700 It's like after you eat a huge meal, and you're like, why the fuck did I just do that?

00:48:01.420 That's what I feel after I jizz.

00:48:03.220 The rest of your day is ruined.

00:48:05.940 All right, Crip, what conspiracy theory did you bring us today?

00:48:11.460 Right, so I have a few on the top of my head.

00:48:15.100 Yeah, what do you feel right now?

00:48:16.500 The one that comes to mind is the, I do believe that there is a strong possibility that there

00:48:27.080 are, I don't know what you want to call them, but there are certain types of, I would say,

00:48:34.100 creatures in national parks that have, that are responsible for a huge amount of unexplained

00:48:44.800 missing people.

00:48:45.660 Ooh, yeah, it's called Brian Laundrie.

00:48:48.460 That theory, I forget the name of it, but it's like, Stephen King touches on it, if you

00:48:54.380 ever read any of his books, it's called, like, Athenny, where people kind of walk through

00:48:58.040 this doorway, sometimes unknowingly, into a different dimension.

00:49:02.240 So now you're crossing over to, like, the DMT realm, and the psychedelics realm, which

00:49:08.260 I am a huge believer in, because I think we brought this up before, like, why are all these

00:49:12.980 fucking white people going to Bohemian Grove to do these drugs in this specific spot?

00:49:18.560 That was in the conspiracy period.

00:49:20.980 Well, there are certain areas where dimensions supposedly kind of overlap, and it's like

00:49:26.660 Finney's, where it's like, you know, it is like you can kind of accidentally pass over

00:49:30.740 to another realm.

00:49:31.480 Dude, why does the government, like, have to control those certain areas, man?

00:49:35.900 That's exactly it.

00:49:36.780 Is it because they're portals into other dimensions?

00:49:39.740 But that's the premise of Stranger Things.

00:49:43.200 That's what that whole show is about.

00:49:44.760 Yeah, exactly.

00:49:45.300 Stranger Things, yeah, it's the EPA doing it.

00:49:47.980 There's a show on Hulu.

00:49:53.000 I like this one more than the original, because it's American Horror Stories, so plural, where

00:50:01.140 each episode is a new, like, story, and I like anthology, more specifically, I like horror

00:50:09.560 anthology shit, and there was an episode where the whole premise was a family goes camping,

00:50:18.580 a kid goes missing because he's kidnapped by these, like, primitive people that live out

00:50:25.100 in, like, a native national park.

00:50:27.660 It's like the hills have eyes.

00:50:29.060 Right, and so, and so, basically, the government.

00:50:34.600 They're Native Americans, man.

00:50:36.940 They're Native Americans.

00:50:37.680 They were just in Atlanta, and they were just like, what the fuck is going on?

00:50:41.820 I'm so scared, Dad.

00:50:43.040 Where are we?

00:50:44.240 Yeah, are we in Africa?

00:50:46.020 Where are these monkeys attacking you?

00:50:47.700 Because.

00:50:49.400 We need to justify the cities.

00:50:49.820 Everybody keeps calling me their brother and cousin.

00:50:53.960 Why are they speaking this weird language?

00:50:55.960 It's called Atonix, son.

00:50:56.280 What are they eating watermelon right now?

00:50:58.100 Did any of you guys, any of you guys catch Cole talking to the black girl today?

00:51:01.860 He was like, he messaged me when we said, Chop, what the fuck is this bitch talking about?

00:51:06.800 I was like, I have no idea.

00:51:08.540 Some form of ebonics I'm not, I'm not familiar with.

00:51:10.780 I mean, it's fair.

00:51:11.660 If we're going to go to somebody to, like, bridge the gap between the chosen people and

00:51:15.560 the Yacoubians, you would be our person, you know?

00:51:17.980 Sorry, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, Crip.

00:51:20.740 No, but basically, they, you know, they come back years later and looking for the kid, there's

00:51:28.380 like signs that he rigged and the campground or whatever, the park ranger, like, sits them

00:51:36.500 down and confesses that the government lets people go in here because they know they can't

00:51:42.260 keep them out.

00:51:43.080 So they chalk up a number of, like, people that will be just casualties.

00:51:48.980 So they have to cover it up.

00:51:51.680 Well, let's go along with, like, there was a bunch of also those times where people will

00:51:56.880 be missing in the woods, but then they'll find, like, their clothes and shit, like, folded

00:52:00.640 up.

00:52:01.440 That's the weird, like, where they'll find, like, their stuff, like, folded up and, like,

00:52:04.240 placed very neatly, like, onto a tree.

00:52:06.340 That's something weird, bro.

00:52:07.260 Or, like, and then they'll find, like, their shoes, like, placed neatly somewhere.

00:52:11.360 Yeah.

00:52:11.900 Miles away.

00:52:12.760 Yeah, they always find their shoes.

00:52:15.020 It's so weird.

00:52:16.420 And they're like, oh, they just, you know, they ate some berries and went crazy.

00:52:20.000 Like, nobody's gone crazy and just, like, yeah, they'll take their clothes off, but they

00:52:25.340 don't fold them up real nice and put them down.

00:52:28.180 Yeah, you've clearly never done a leucingens, so.

00:52:32.320 Think about it.

00:52:32.960 The guy who disappeared as a chick at the National Park was called Brian Laundrie.

00:52:37.820 I mean, come on.

00:52:38.660 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:52:39.700 So, wait up, Cole.

00:52:40.380 Cole, you got to write this down.

00:52:41.860 Tony Merkel, he just did a documentary on Dogman where he's talking about sort of what

00:52:46.980 you're saying, Crip.

00:52:48.520 He went to this spot that the government had fenced off, like, years after because a

00:52:53.160 lot of strange activity was happening there.

00:52:55.180 And he went, they crossed the fence illegally and stuff, and they documented some stuff looking

00:52:58.880 for a dogman.

00:52:59.800 I don't know if you guys know what that is.

00:53:01.640 It's, like, some weird interdimensional shit, too, kind of like a werewolf.

00:53:06.180 Okay.

00:53:06.680 But that dude would definitely come on and talk with us.

00:53:09.080 Someone just, speaking of dudes, come on.

00:53:11.100 Someone just said, get on the dude from Lore Lodge.

00:53:14.100 He knows a lot about national parks and listening to people.

00:53:16.200 This is definitely not a fad is the name of the account.

00:53:19.480 What are we talking about now?

00:53:20.940 That's so great.

00:53:21.720 It gives a lot of that.

00:53:22.980 I would say, hit up the Twitter account for the show and, you know, DM us the information

00:53:30.620 because I don't know what the fuck you're talking about.

00:53:32.000 David Brady just sent me a thing, and I was thinking about this, too.

00:53:35.080 There were all those missing people that, like, if you look at the map, if you, like, lay out,

00:53:38.860 like, okay, this is where, like, all the, they've had a ton of missing people.

00:53:42.020 Yeah, yeah.

00:53:42.420 And then look at the cave systems running through the U.S.

00:53:45.200 And it is, like, an overlay.

00:53:48.060 It is.

00:53:48.500 The what systems?

00:53:49.640 The cave systems.

00:53:50.280 Dude, yeah, yeah, dude.

00:53:51.420 It gets weird.

00:53:52.680 Dude, oh, yeah.

00:53:53.580 Hollow Earth, baby!

00:53:54.320 Hollow Earth, baby!

00:53:55.880 Dude, Hollow Earth.

00:53:56.720 Dude, I was just, I was at the Denver airport on the way to Reno.

00:54:00.040 In the Denver airport, there are these conspiracy theories basically about parts of it that were,

00:54:05.840 like, when it was under construction, because it's a fairly new construction,

00:54:09.340 that they had this, like, tunnel system under it that they never finished.

00:54:12.720 And there are people that are saying that it's used for, like, human trafficking.

00:54:16.820 Yeah, they're cool.

00:54:17.400 Those are called dumb, dumb bases.

00:54:20.140 Deep underground military bases.

00:54:22.340 D-U-M-B.

00:54:23.660 Dumb asses?

00:54:24.500 What?

00:54:25.180 Dumb, dumb bases, yeah.

00:54:27.260 A lot of them are just, like, abandoned or, I mean, maybe they're still doing shit,

00:54:31.700 so who really knows what the fuck's going on?

00:54:33.600 Yeah, who knows?

00:54:34.840 Yeah.

00:54:35.020 Yeah, and that's, well, you can either tie it into Hollow Earth, which is what, I literally

00:54:39.220 I love the Hollow Earth idea.

00:54:40.660 The Hollow Earth, fuck it.

00:54:41.680 I'm not gonna lie.

00:54:42.380 Hollow Earth gets my dick hard, because it goes so many different routes.

00:54:45.020 They can get so wild to where it gets to, like, Hitler is in Hollow Earth controlling

00:54:49.540 the giants, and they're taking people in and using them for their satanic rituals to maintain

00:54:56.180 their power, and it's, like, it gets so fucking wild with Hollow Earth.

00:54:59.440 No, absolutely.

00:55:00.840 Have you guys heard that story about that giant in Afghanistan that I think the military killed?

00:55:06.760 Yes.

00:55:07.000 Did you hear about that shit?

00:55:07.880 No.

00:55:08.480 What?

00:55:08.860 Yeah.

00:55:09.260 Yeah.

00:55:09.800 Yeah.

00:55:10.000 100%.

00:55:10.480 They killed a giant.

00:55:11.140 I believe that was actually a hospital.

00:55:15.840 Dude, the giants is great, too.

00:55:17.480 That goes so many different routes, because that ties into, like, weird ancient alien shit.

00:55:22.220 Yeah, like, it goes into weird alien shit to where, like, there were aliens before, and

00:55:26.020 those were, like, subjects.

00:55:26.980 It also talks about in the Bible.

00:55:28.520 Yeah, the Bible talks about giants.

00:55:30.460 Yeah, the Nephilim.

00:55:30.640 Was it Nephilim?

00:55:31.440 Yeah, right?

00:55:31.960 Nephilim.

00:55:32.640 Nephilim, yeah.

00:55:33.580 Yeah.

00:55:33.980 But here's the thing.

00:55:35.260 The Hollow Earth, I, let's say I believe in it 95%.

00:55:39.500 I am, like, almost, like, legitimately believe in it.

00:55:43.560 It sounds initially more retarded than Flat Earth, but then when you look into it, you're

00:55:47.800 like, oh, no, Flat Earth is retarded.

00:55:50.340 Hollow Earth is better than fucking Normal Earth.

00:55:52.400 Well, here's the thing.

00:55:53.580 Here's the thing you think about.

00:55:55.140 Oh, in school, they taught you.

00:55:57.600 Do you remember?

00:55:58.320 You probably all saw it.

00:55:59.500 It was, like, whenever they would have the, like, the Earth, and then they would have it,

00:56:03.340 like, cut out, and it'd be, like, the Earth has the crust, and then it has the mantle.

00:56:07.900 Yeah, the mantle and the crown.

00:56:08.600 And then the core, and it's all solid all the way down.

00:56:10.860 It's like, that doesn't have to be shit.

00:56:11.020 And it's just, like, assertion.

00:56:12.100 There's nothing.

00:56:12.900 That is all just based on theories of gravity and what we assume happens, and it gets more

00:56:17.960 pressurized the closer you get.

00:56:19.800 Like, this is all just assumptions.

00:56:21.580 That's all that is.

00:56:22.680 But go on.

00:56:22.960 And then, like, there's caves all the fuck over.

00:56:25.880 We have water everywhere, which naturally fucking, like, it doesn't make any sense when

00:56:30.960 you think about, like, oh, it's just solid all the way down to the fucking core.

00:56:34.080 No, it's fucking not.

00:56:35.240 Like, and then there's other, and, like, that's people where people say the fucking, like,

00:56:39.360 like, the Bigfoot or any of those type of things live down there or any type of.

00:56:44.820 But, yeah, and going, it all goes back, like, Crip says about the fucking people going

00:56:50.120 to the woods and missing every fucking year.

00:56:52.200 And mostly kids, which is the very, which kind of makes sense because, you know, kids

00:56:56.800 go get, and they'll get lost.

00:56:58.760 Right.

00:56:59.120 But kids' pineal gland is also still soft.

00:57:02.720 This is another conspiracy.

00:57:04.100 Oh, the calcification?

00:57:06.500 Monsters was an admission from the elite.

00:57:08.440 Monsters, Inc. was an admission from the elite.

00:57:10.120 That's what it is, I swear.

00:57:11.460 Well, so is, like, Doctor Sleep and The Shining and all that.

00:57:15.640 That's, well, again, Stephen King, that motherfucker's tied in somehow.

00:57:19.880 They tie these people into, like, to general media so that they could introduce these talking

00:57:26.060 points, which would, we would start to catch on to.

00:57:29.340 Eventually, we'd be like, wait, this is weird stuff happening.

00:57:31.120 But, oh, no, I heard it in the movie from Stephen King.

00:57:33.860 Like, no, that's how they do it.

00:57:34.840 They release it slowly.

00:57:35.860 There's probably some kind of fucking code name from the CIA for this shit.

00:57:38.800 I mean, think about, think about even just the simple, like, Epstein shit.

00:57:42.060 But, like, now it's just normalized.

00:57:45.300 Like, we're just like, yeah, yeah, there's, like, a ball of fucking elites that fuck kids.

00:57:48.840 And, you know, but, like, a decade ago, we've been like, what?

00:57:52.320 Are you in your fucking mind?

00:57:53.680 Like, and now it's just normalized.

00:57:56.840 Right.

00:57:58.000 Yes, you're right.

00:57:58.780 It's the Giant of Kandahar.

00:58:00.340 That's the name of the thing.

00:58:01.780 Yeah.

00:58:02.720 And Petito, by the way, the Blue Beam Theory, we'll have to get something else.

00:58:06.160 That takes its own.

00:58:07.020 That Blue Beam is...

00:58:08.360 Project Blue Beam?

00:58:09.480 Project Blue Beam.

00:58:10.220 We were already talking about it before.

00:58:11.740 We're going.

00:58:12.100 We did.

00:58:12.340 We talked about it, yeah, last episode, yeah.

00:58:14.420 She's been talking about that for fucking 20 years.

00:58:16.420 Now, my mom.

00:58:17.340 Now, wait a minute.

00:58:17.920 So, now, are these giants and, like, trolls in Scandinavia and Bigfoot and shit, are they

00:58:24.360 all the same thing or are they all different things?

00:58:26.880 They're all different things.

00:58:28.280 Yeah, so, is it the Nephilim or, jeez, what were the other...

00:58:31.680 They were kind of, like, aliens.

00:58:33.060 They came down.

00:58:34.280 You talking about the tribe in Africa that talked about the people...

00:58:39.600 Oh, yeah, that one's wild.

00:58:40.260 The dogloos.

00:58:41.220 The fucking...

00:58:42.480 No, they're, like, they're aliens.

00:58:45.220 They're aliens that gave the Egyptians knowledge.

00:58:48.040 And the Egyptians actually, like, drew pictures of them.

00:58:49.940 They're, like, giant people.

00:58:50.340 You know the Sumerians?

00:58:51.920 Yeah, yeah.

00:58:52.740 No, no, they're called Sumerians.

00:58:53.720 Yeah, what about Sumerians?

00:58:54.100 Sumerians are real people.

00:58:55.560 Yeah.

00:58:56.000 Sumerians are real racial people.

00:58:57.300 Well, yeah, the ancient Egyptians, yeah, had all that shit.

00:59:00.160 And then also the, like, the Inca and stuff.

00:59:03.520 Well, Sam Tripoli, if he comes on here, he'll tell you.

00:59:06.700 He said, it doesn't matter what it is, if it's a fucking demon, a giant, an angel, a

00:59:11.320 demon, whatever it is, they're trying to get human pussy.

00:59:15.060 There's something about, like, human pussy that...

00:59:19.200 No, that's just me.

00:59:21.420 Yeah, you too.

00:59:22.400 Everybody.

00:59:22.900 They come from light years away to try to tap some pussy.

00:59:25.680 And then, I mean, you know, so you've got, like, giants just fucking...

00:59:28.600 Anunnaki.

00:59:29.440 Is that what you're talking about?

00:59:30.380 Anunnaki.

00:59:30.860 That's what I'm talking about.

00:59:31.160 That's the Sumerians.

00:59:32.040 It's not Egyptians.

00:59:32.780 Sumerians.

00:59:33.240 That's what I'm talking about.

00:59:33.680 That was the Sumerian thing that was literally part of their religion shit was Anunnaki.

00:59:38.700 No, now I'm off to completely...

00:59:40.580 Do you seriously...

00:59:41.680 Ancient Egyptians wrote it, like, they drew pictures about them.

00:59:45.480 Right.

00:59:46.060 Like, they have, like, gold chains and shit, and they're huge people.

00:59:48.720 Oh, Planet Nibiru.

00:59:50.420 Yeah, Planet Nibiru.

00:59:52.020 Now, wait a minute, though.

00:59:52.960 Like, do you seriously believe that a bunch of these alien races, that that alien pussy

00:59:58.380 that they're getting is, like, not good?

01:00:01.100 And to the point where they have to travel, like, light years basically to get human pussy

01:00:07.000 and human pussy is way better than that fucking alien pussy?

01:00:10.780 Dude.

01:00:10.980 This is the anti-Yakubian message right here, which is what I believe, is that aliens came

01:00:15.820 down and, like, all kinds of crazy aliens, and they fucked regular human bitches, and that's

01:00:20.960 how black people were created.

01:00:26.500 Fuck you guys.

01:00:27.960 Yeah, those are the real glow niggers.

01:00:29.920 We haven't heard anything from Crip in a while.

01:00:31.500 Yeah, Crip.

01:00:31.880 Well, no, no, I was just kind of sitting back thinking, like, is it really that outlandish

01:00:36.900 to think that some aliens would come out here to fuck some human pussy?

01:00:41.100 I saw...

01:00:41.880 I literally saw a dude get fucked to death by a horse.

01:00:45.900 Jesus.

01:00:47.100 And so, like, that's...

01:00:48.960 That was Cole, actually.

01:00:51.500 Yeah, it was the sexiest thing I've ever fucking saw, dude.

01:00:55.860 And you tell me that an alien wouldn't come over here just to fuck a human girl or a human

01:01:01.980 guy?

01:01:02.360 Well, you're right.

01:01:02.960 There's something to be said about, like, exotic pussy, right?

01:01:07.160 So maybe that's it.

01:01:08.860 Yeah.

01:01:09.880 Like, I want that fucking alien pussy, and the aliens want human pussy, which is alien pussy

01:01:14.740 to them.

01:01:15.180 Well, this...

01:01:16.180 Anunnaki pussy is just whack.

01:01:17.720 Yeah.

01:01:18.420 Well, this kind of ties in, also, it can tie into the prison earth theory, which is basically

01:01:26.580 that we live on a prison planet.

01:01:28.340 Like, we are the fucking, like, prisoners of some fucking...

01:01:32.800 We're Australia.

01:01:34.160 Yeah, we're Australia.

01:01:35.980 We're Australia to the universe.

01:01:38.540 But we have the best pussy.

01:01:41.220 So, like, they'll still, like, they're, like...

01:01:43.020 They're doing conjugal visits.

01:01:44.520 That makes sense, because bad bitches do tend to have the best pussies.

01:01:48.200 No, that's what Australia was built on.

01:01:50.040 Australia was, like, a bunch of rich people at first.

01:01:51.820 And they put, like, these, like, exotic animals on Australia, and they come there to hunt

01:01:56.740 it, you know?

01:01:57.780 And then they got bored, and then the animals got fucking wild and crazy and huge and shit.

01:02:02.200 That's what the earth is, man.

01:02:03.160 They put some, like, exotic pussy on there.

01:02:04.720 Well, come down there.

01:02:05.380 We'll hunt that pussy every so often.

01:02:06.960 And then shit just got crazy.

01:02:09.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:02:09.480 But then they fucked up.

01:02:10.620 But then they were like, oh, shit.

01:02:13.340 We kind of messed up.

01:02:14.100 And it might, it's either, I don't know if this is either scarier.

01:02:19.320 To me, it's kind of scarier, is they left the prison planet.

01:02:22.840 They were just like, all right, we're fucking hands off now.

01:02:25.300 Like, they fucked up on there, but they kind of fucked with us.

01:02:27.880 They created black people.

01:02:29.100 And they're like, this is too weird.

01:02:31.360 Let's dip.

01:02:32.340 And then they dipped out, and now we're left on this prison planet, and nobody's watching

01:02:36.840 over us.

01:02:37.480 That's why things have got to shit.

01:02:39.240 They're back now.

01:02:39.920 Now they're trying to fucking, I don't know what they're doing, but they're trying to

01:02:44.080 reclaim the pussy.

01:02:44.960 This is what this shit is all about, bro.

01:02:47.080 Wow.

01:02:48.200 Pussy runs the universe, dog.

01:02:50.620 Someone said that a Phelan and the Old Testament were offsprings of angels, human women.

01:02:54.540 Yeah, that is something I think they implied in the Bible itself.

01:02:58.900 But yeah, that would make sense even from an alien perspective.

01:03:02.060 Although it would be weird genetically, because it's like, how would they breed?

01:03:04.860 But now that goes deeper, that like, well, maybe before this was something they seeded the

01:03:10.160 planet with their own genes or whatever, and then just over time, we kind of diverted

01:03:19.760 genetically to some extent, but not so far to where we couldn't breed, you know what I

01:03:23.460 mean?

01:03:24.100 How do you think Ricky ended up being a thing?

01:03:27.040 Yeah, for real.

01:03:28.260 That was an alien baby gone wrong, bro.

01:03:31.040 Yeah.

01:03:32.320 Oh, Jesus.

01:03:33.700 Is that the guy?

01:03:34.720 Yeah, it's the guy with the fucked up hand, man.

01:03:38.300 What's up with that dude?

01:03:39.240 Oh, the fucked up hand, dude.

01:03:40.380 The fucked up hand.

01:03:43.540 He's the parody of a human being.

01:03:47.020 That's the human version of a pug.

01:03:52.200 Well, that sucks that he's family.

01:03:54.320 Pugs are kind of cute.

01:03:55.660 Yeah, so is Ricky in that, like, oh my God.

01:03:57.700 No, he is not even cute.

01:03:58.920 He's going to die in a minute, dude.

01:04:00.920 Are you guys on speaking transcript?

01:04:03.040 I don't fucking talk to other crippled people.

01:04:06.580 It's disgusting.

01:04:08.100 Ew.

01:04:08.900 That sucks that Ricky's family is so inbred.

01:04:13.280 Dude, I'm not going to lie.

01:04:14.340 If I was Ricky, I'd be so fucking jealous of you.

01:04:16.660 Because you're just like a normal person that's just crippled, whereas he's just

01:04:19.880 like this fucking, like, I don't know, ungodly atrocity.

01:04:24.860 If he came out of the basement in Harold Kumar, in a Harold Kumar movie, he would be like,

01:04:31.660 and people would be like, oh my God.

01:04:34.120 Yeah, put that in.

01:04:36.400 Portable gasp.

01:04:37.520 I'm going to fuck this, like, hot chick in the Harold Kumar movie, and they're just like,

01:04:41.960 oh, that's my inbred son.

01:04:43.620 And it's fucking Ricky comes out.

01:04:45.700 How upsetting is it to find out that fucking Kumar is just so blue-pilled in real life?

01:04:51.300 He sucks.

01:04:51.400 It doesn't surprise me.

01:04:53.100 It surprised me, because I grew up on that shit.

01:04:55.480 Like, how did Kumar go to White Castle?

01:04:57.260 So that was like, we went to White Castle.

01:04:59.220 Have you watched it recently?

01:05:01.940 No.

01:05:02.420 You know, me and my wife are doing this thing where we drink or whatever, and then we watch

01:05:07.440 old movies and see if they hold up.

01:05:09.200 And so far, forgetting Sarah Marshall, that held up.

01:05:12.580 Jackass holds up.

01:05:14.320 Jackass holds up, yeah.

01:05:15.360 Yeah, the original Jackass.

01:05:16.360 Jackass doesn't really have any story.

01:05:17.460 It's just guys doing fucked up shit.

01:05:19.260 And I watched Jackass, literally.

01:05:20.840 I tried to watch the new one, and I was lost, because I forgot what happened.

01:05:23.820 Not the new one, the old one, the old one, the old one, the old one.

01:05:25.540 Jackass holds up, but you need to put in the background and watch occasionally, and it's

01:05:29.280 fucking great.

01:05:30.320 Just watching Butterbean beat the shit out of Johnny Knoxville.

01:05:35.240 Johnny Knoxville.

01:05:36.180 It's probably one of the funniest things you can watch.

01:05:38.540 What a fucking Chad, Johnny Knoxville.

01:05:40.700 Look at that.

01:05:41.120 I mean, just the genetics on this dude, right?

01:05:43.560 Look at the time.

01:05:44.020 Yeah.

01:05:45.900 Yeah, I fucking love that guy.

01:05:47.500 But yeah, so that's what we've been doing, and so far, I guess holding up, but I'm open

01:05:51.840 to a list of movies.

01:05:52.960 If you guys are listening, watch the Harold and Kumars again, because they don't hold

01:05:58.640 up.

01:05:59.100 I feel like...

01:05:59.700 I've watched them recently.

01:06:01.200 I mean, you'll still laugh, but it's still kind of like, you're like...

01:06:05.280 The first one has a charm.

01:06:07.340 You know, like, the first one's still good, but it's a tough sell.

01:06:14.000 It fell through that sequel thing, but go on.

01:06:17.520 Have you seen Naughty Nurses 3?

01:06:19.540 Have you guys seen, uh, fucking, what was it, Miss March?

01:06:26.120 No.

01:06:26.680 That sounds familiar.

01:06:27.620 Miss March?

01:06:28.540 Yeah, I think that's what it was.

01:06:30.080 The one with, uh, Trevor Moore and Zach from, uh, fucking Why the Skids You Know?

01:06:35.340 Oh, I saw it forever ago.

01:06:36.260 I remember it being really funny, but it...

01:06:37.760 Yeah, that one, uh, that one holds up.

01:06:41.900 It's still very early 2000s, like, dumb humor, but it's literally just a giant Why the Skids

01:06:49.460 You Know skit, and it's so great.

01:06:51.540 Yeah, Why the Skids You Know was fucking, fucking slaps, though.

01:06:54.320 So fucking...

01:06:54.940 Anything Why the Skids You Know was fucking slaps.

01:06:56.960 Like, I don't know if you guys ever, like, if you've never watched Why the Skids You Know,

01:07:00.300 go on online and start watching it.

01:07:02.340 Like, reverse psychology is probably one of the funniest videos.

01:07:04.940 Like, if anyone's seen that, like, Why the Skids You Know was good.

01:07:06.920 Oh, my God.

01:07:07.500 Where he goes up, and he's like, he's like...

01:07:09.980 And I can't remember who it is, but like, hey, so-and-so just figured out reverse psychology.

01:07:14.120 Like, just keep that in mind.

01:07:15.480 Just ignore him.

01:07:16.040 He's being really annoying.

01:07:16.880 He comes up, he's like, hey, guys.

01:07:18.620 Like, it'd be really awful if you guys just held me out and sucked my dick.

01:07:22.720 Like, that'd be the fucking worst.

01:07:25.120 I'd hate that so much.

01:07:27.240 And then he, like, walks away, and then, like...

01:07:29.340 I know it's, like, predictable and stupid, but then one guy goes,

01:07:32.280 you know, we should, like, suck his dick.

01:07:38.180 Yeah, everything, like, within the last year, it feels like,

01:07:42.940 with people like Gilbert Gottfried, Norm MacDonald, you know,

01:07:47.520 Bob Saget, we lost him, and it's been really tragic and super fucking sad,

01:07:53.240 but I'm still not over Trevor Moore, and he doesn't get acknowledged anywhere.

01:07:59.420 Let's be real, though.

01:08:00.780 Gilbert Gottfried, who gives a fuck?

01:08:03.620 I like Gilbert.

01:08:05.160 I like him.

01:08:05.820 I like him, but you're not wrong.

01:08:08.640 Did you think of, really, a single funny thing he said that you were like,

01:08:11.340 oh, like, he didn't...

01:08:12.580 I don't know, man.

01:08:13.280 He was on Rogan before he died, and the guy is still...

01:08:16.160 He was still sharp.

01:08:17.520 He made me laugh.

01:08:18.920 Did y'all watch the Norm MacDonald?

01:08:21.960 Norm's a fucking friend.

01:08:23.060 I didn't have the heart.

01:08:23.780 I didn't have the heart to watch it.

01:08:25.320 Is it good?

01:08:26.700 I think it's still great.

01:08:28.500 I think it's amazing.

01:08:29.440 I think it was...

01:08:30.480 Yeah.

01:08:31.100 It would have killed on stage, for sure,

01:08:33.960 but I think the circumstances, obviously, given what they were,

01:08:39.760 elevated it to be something a little bit more poetically beautiful

01:08:44.060 in its own way,

01:08:45.480 because he has, like, a little...

01:08:47.960 It's not overly sad at all,

01:08:50.500 but there's a bit near the end where you can tell he gets a little in his feelings

01:08:56.020 talking about, like, how much he loves his mom,

01:08:58.760 and it's just like, oh, ow, ow.

01:09:01.280 If you were like, I hate this fucking guy.

01:09:02.960 Fuck my mom.

01:09:03.280 Yeah, I don't relate to that.

01:09:04.740 Yeah, yeah.

01:09:06.700 What are you, faggot?

01:09:08.620 Norm is a...

01:09:09.500 I, too, hate my mother.

01:09:11.180 Yeah, we lost a lot with Norm.

01:09:12.900 Norm was...

01:09:13.960 Norm was something magical.

01:09:15.500 But, yeah, the other ones, like, Bob Saget, like, come on, let's be real.

01:09:19.740 I don't even think I've ever watched any of his stand-up ever.

01:09:22.460 Like, you know, Bob...

01:09:23.320 That reminds me.

01:09:24.840 Bob Saget's stand-up was good.

01:09:26.760 It was...

01:09:27.040 Was it faggot?

01:09:27.980 I don't know.

01:09:28.240 I found out that he wasn't the guy from Full House from Half-Baked,

01:09:32.720 and now I'm curious if Half-Baked still holds up.

01:09:35.400 Oh, it does.

01:09:36.220 It absolutely does.

01:09:37.960 Thank God, because I was...

01:09:38.920 I don't know.

01:09:39.840 That is one of my favorite Stoner movies of all time.

01:09:43.600 No, let's say, I was going to go through.

01:09:45.480 Give us your favorite early 2000s comedy movies of, like, that kind of genre.

01:09:50.520 Of, like, I mean, of the Harold and Kumar, the...

01:09:54.180 Stoner movies.

01:09:54.920 White Girls.

01:09:55.820 Yeah.

01:09:56.820 White Girls is a good...

01:09:57.860 I feel like White Chicks would...

01:10:00.020 I feel like White Chicks would not hold up.

01:10:01.960 Grandma's Boy is definitely one of them.

01:10:03.020 Scary Movie 2 does not hold up.

01:10:05.600 And I remember telling you that.

01:10:05.860 I never gave a fuck with the Scary Movies ever.

01:10:08.280 Ever, ever.

01:10:09.160 Really?

01:10:09.440 The scene where they're playing fucking shake your ass, but watch yourself, and the girl comes...

01:10:14.660 I mean, it's funny, but it's not like reading.

01:10:16.800 It's classic.

01:10:18.300 Nah, not classic.

01:10:19.360 I don't know, but...

01:10:20.120 I would say that Scary Movie 3 is probably my favorite one.

01:10:24.900 Really?

01:10:25.200 Uh, because...

01:10:26.800 Specifically, because there's so many bits that fucking make me cry laughing every time in that movie.

01:10:37.620 Uh, there's, uh...

01:10:39.360 It's so fucking stupid.

01:10:41.120 For no reason, when Charlie Sheen's character is talking to the sheriff, and every time the camera cuts to the sheriff, her hat is getting bigger and bigger.

01:10:55.780 It's so stupid, yeah.

01:10:58.700 I remember this, yeah.

01:11:00.380 Yeah.

01:11:01.560 And just dumb shit like that appeals to, like, the fucking child in me that's still like...

01:11:08.220 Yeah.

01:11:08.820 I love it.

01:11:09.960 Malibu's first one.

01:11:11.080 I don't know...

01:11:11.880 Yes.

01:11:12.160 Someone brought up that.

01:11:13.020 I feel like...

01:11:14.240 I don't remember much about that, but I just remember the premise is a pretty fucking funny premise.

01:11:18.700 So I feel like it would have been pretty good.

01:11:19.860 Is that guy still around?

01:11:20.860 Oh, Super Troopers.

01:11:21.840 Jamie...

01:11:22.320 I bet Super Troopers still hold on.

01:11:23.780 Super Troopers, yes.

01:11:25.540 Oh, yeah.

01:11:26.040 Yes.

01:11:26.580 Now, here's the one that I might get hate for, but I don't know...

01:11:28.900 But I don't know if this one...

01:11:31.200 I really didn't like this one.

01:11:33.640 Sorry, real quick.

01:11:34.400 I didn't watch the sequel because I didn't want to bastardize the original.

01:11:37.900 I didn't watch the sequel.

01:11:38.640 But go on.

01:11:39.180 I like Pineapple Express.

01:11:41.160 That's more of a later 2000s.

01:11:42.260 Pineapple Express, I never found funny, really.

01:11:45.220 James Franco.

01:11:45.940 I don't know what it was.

01:11:46.540 I know everybody loves it as the best stoner movie ever.

01:11:50.800 Super bad.

01:11:51.760 The Super bad.

01:11:52.840 Oh, Super bad.

01:11:53.680 It holds up.

01:11:54.220 It's good.

01:11:55.080 The intro of Pineapple Express is the best part.

01:11:57.300 After that, you can just throw it out.

01:11:59.340 Like the intro with the fucking...

01:12:00.380 Super bad is...

01:12:01.940 Like where he's like the old-timey smoking weed thing.

01:12:04.400 Yeah.

01:12:04.620 But after that, who cares?

01:12:05.540 Yeah.

01:12:05.940 I mean, that's...

01:12:06.780 Yeah.

01:12:07.360 Super bad holds up very well.

01:12:09.640 And it will probably always be...

01:12:12.000 I'll tell you...

01:12:12.700 It'll probably always be good.

01:12:15.180 This is what...

01:12:15.640 This shit holds up no matter...

01:12:18.160 I mean, we can go 100 years in the future.

01:12:19.720 It'll fucking hold up.

01:12:20.980 Eddie Murphy Raw.

01:12:22.220 Or Eddie Murphy Delirious.

01:12:23.620 I can show that to my kids when they're like 18 and they'll get it.

01:12:26.680 Is that the one where he goes off about faggots like hardcore?

01:12:29.280 Yes.

01:12:29.840 That's Delirious.

01:12:30.900 Yeah.

01:12:31.760 That's why Top loves it so much.

01:12:33.980 But like at that period in time, that was like not really edgy at all.

01:12:37.940 Which is what makes it amazing.

01:12:40.380 This month, I'm gay.

01:12:42.100 I'm not having sex with my wife this whole month.

01:12:44.300 That's my man.

01:12:45.420 Yeah.

01:12:45.760 Out of respect for the gays.

01:12:46.820 So just...

01:12:47.020 That's my man.

01:12:47.860 I want to let you in the pink shirt.

01:12:49.000 We're doing it.

01:12:49.760 Well, see, what I'm doing is...

01:12:51.440 What are you doing?

01:12:52.200 It's the first of the month I actually transitioned and I'm now a woman and I'm going to fuck all

01:12:57.120 women this month.

01:12:58.820 And it's gay.

01:12:59.500 I don't believe it.

01:13:00.400 So he's like...

01:13:01.200 He's going to fuck zero women this month.

01:13:03.240 Me and Toad will fuck zero women this month.

01:13:05.480 Now, bringing it back to the conspiracy theories, is there any conspiracy that you can think

01:13:11.140 of with like those like stupid fucking stoner movies or any like kind of movies like stupid

01:13:17.040 shit like that?

01:13:17.900 That are like...

01:13:18.320 Oh, there's a very specific conspiracy theory.

01:13:21.280 There's definitely one with...

01:13:22.320 There are a bunch of them.

01:13:24.280 Yeah, like there's a...

01:13:27.000 There's...

01:13:27.580 I don't know as much as it was like a conspiracy as much as it was like the whole like curse

01:13:34.480 around like The Exorcist and how everybody involved with that movie was like fucking horrible.

01:13:44.800 Just everything went wrong.

01:13:46.680 Wait, what?

01:13:46.920 I have not heard of this.

01:13:47.840 That sounds fucking...

01:13:48.080 Yeah, not a stoner movie.

01:13:48.960 Yeah, that's the thing.

01:13:49.720 There's a whole lot of weird isms around The Exorcist movie.

01:13:52.440 Yeah.

01:13:52.660 For sure.

01:13:53.040 Yeah, like the girl...

01:13:54.920 What was her name?

01:13:55.660 Fucking...

01:13:56.260 Linda Blair.

01:13:57.180 Linda Blair fucking met her when she got a little bit older.

01:14:02.500 Fucking babe.

01:14:03.980 It's so hot.

01:14:05.120 Yeah, she was hot.

01:14:06.320 Dude, it was...

01:14:07.820 I get it.

01:14:08.780 Oh, I thought she was hot in The Exorcist.

01:14:10.220 She was vomiting all over.

01:14:11.200 Toad, bring it up.

01:14:12.960 Backwards head.

01:14:13.720 Toad.

01:14:14.120 And a child.

01:14:14.960 Toad, pull it up.

01:14:15.780 Yeah.

01:14:16.580 Pull it up, Toad.

01:14:17.940 What am I pulling up?

01:14:19.060 Pull it up.

01:14:19.620 Let's see.

01:14:19.840 Oh, Linda Blair?

01:14:20.700 All right, one second.

01:14:21.420 If I was a fucking demon, I'd be trying to get on that too.

01:14:25.680 But isn't that so crazy?

01:14:26.720 So all these people had like an unfortunate fate or something crazy happened to them.

01:14:30.180 But if you made The Exorcist today, the demons would be like, whatever.

01:14:34.460 Like this...

01:14:35.220 We get it.

01:14:35.840 We're killing millions of babies right now.

01:14:37.740 Like this movie isn't really a big fucking deal.

01:14:40.760 Well, it doesn't like The Exorcist not hold up either.

01:14:44.100 Like it's kind of like if you go back and watch it now, you're just kind of like...

01:14:46.940 I've never watched The Exorcist.

01:14:48.160 It's kind of shitty.

01:14:49.480 It doesn't...

01:14:50.140 I mean, it's not...

01:14:52.720 It just...

01:14:53.680 In comparison to everything else that has come out since, it's so just warm temperature water.

01:15:01.340 You know, it's like, oh, okay.

01:15:03.860 I get the appeal, you know, if I put myself in that, you know, time and era.

01:15:08.360 But I'd watch a civilian film.

01:15:12.020 I don't know why this is on eBay, but I can't bring up a nude, I don't think, because we'll all get banned.

01:15:21.060 We're on Odyssey.

01:15:21.820 Who cares?

01:15:22.500 I'm just kidding.

01:15:22.900 I don't think you can do it on Odyssey either.

01:15:24.720 Oh, my God.

01:15:25.380 Yeah, damn.

01:15:26.560 Top works at Odyssey, so we have special privileges.

01:15:29.540 So we're good.

01:15:30.580 I did not say that.

01:15:32.100 Here's some Linda Blair for you right here.

01:15:34.920 Her face is like a child.

01:15:37.000 Look at her face.

01:15:37.540 I was about to bookmark this and buy it for four bucks.

01:15:40.540 Yeah, I'm about to say that.

01:15:42.460 That's kind of a deal.

01:15:44.920 So, Toby, after I'm asking you to do this, do you feel shame or do you feel clarity?

01:15:50.440 A little bit of ball.

01:15:51.360 Is she dead?

01:15:53.300 Oh, yeah.

01:15:54.220 Yeah.

01:15:55.040 I think so.

01:15:56.400 No?

01:15:57.500 Wait, is she not dead?

01:15:58.260 So what exactly...

01:15:58.780 What happened to these people with the exorcist?

01:16:00.360 I don't think she's dead.

01:16:01.240 No, she's not even that old.

01:16:03.400 No, but...

01:16:03.800 Oh, no, you're right.

01:16:04.560 You're right.

01:16:04.880 You actually expect our guest to be able to back up more information about his random conspiracy?

01:16:09.920 Come on.

01:16:10.200 This is not what Conspiracy Month is about.

01:16:12.080 Oh, she's in her 60s.

01:16:13.980 I mean, dude, her body doesn't look that bad right now, but...

01:16:17.120 Yeah, like...

01:16:17.760 She's like hot mom, hot grandma.

01:16:21.300 She's hot grandmother.

01:16:22.400 Junkie Jeff brought up the...

01:16:24.020 She's had a lot of work done.

01:16:25.000 The production of The Shining.

01:16:26.060 That's not great.

01:16:27.560 The Shining definitely about the way she's around.

01:16:28.500 Stop acknowledging the YouTube people.

01:16:30.320 Go to Odyssey.

01:16:31.560 Oh, there's a conspiracy about The Shining.

01:16:34.160 That was directed by Stanley Kubrick, and Danny is wearing like an Apollo 19 shirt or something.

01:16:39.960 God damn it.

01:16:40.540 Did you do that just to spite me?

01:16:42.000 What the fuck?

01:16:42.740 Yes.

01:16:42.920 The conspiracy theory is that Stanley Kubrick also directed the moon landing.

01:16:47.440 Very interesting.

01:16:47.960 See, that's the one I don't even fucking...

01:16:51.720 It was called 2001 Space Science.

01:16:53.000 To me, it's not crazy that we went to the moon.

01:16:55.480 To me, it's not crazy that we went to the moon.

01:16:57.440 Like, it's like...

01:16:57.920 But it's believable that we faked it.

01:17:00.100 Right.

01:17:00.560 Given the current social political context.

01:17:02.600 Like, on a surface level, it'd be like, hey, we faked this.

01:17:05.960 We, like, we filmed it on a...

01:17:08.320 Whatever.

01:17:08.860 Like, Stanley Kubrick filmed it.

01:17:10.320 But then it's like, well, then did they film every other time, too?

01:17:13.360 God forbid we get Eddie Bravo on here.

01:17:15.880 Oh, yeah.

01:17:16.380 Oh, dude.

01:17:17.500 Fuck, yeah.

01:17:18.840 He will choke you out with this shit.

01:17:20.140 It was so believable.

01:17:21.240 Honestly, that's one of the ones, like, all right, don't get me wrong.

01:17:23.680 Like, I'm sure you can get all science-y, and that's when you lose me.

01:17:26.880 Like, sure.

01:17:27.680 Maybe, like, it happened.

01:17:29.180 But it's also, the motives are super believable, because if you take into account the current,

01:17:35.260 like, political climate, what was going on, the idea that, like, we really need to establish

01:17:40.260 ourselves over the Russians, it makes sense that they'd just be like, hey, just film the

01:17:43.940 shit and call it good.

01:17:45.000 Like, what?

01:17:46.300 Did they actually, did they film any of the other Apollo missions that supposedly landed

01:17:50.880 on the moon, or was it only Apollo 11?

01:17:54.400 I think they filmed all of them.

01:17:56.460 Did they?

01:17:56.860 I have no fucking idea.

01:17:57.860 Why does anybody only talk about the footage from Apollo 11?

01:18:01.220 Because it's very easy for the conspiracy, it's the first one.

01:18:04.880 Like, it's very easy just to be like.

01:18:05.660 Look at the press conference of the astronauts when they landed.

01:18:08.760 I know, they seem like.

01:18:09.840 That is the weird one.

01:18:11.240 They seem like they're fucking lying, dude.

01:18:12.840 They seem like they're lying.

01:18:14.220 Now, the thing is, are they lying about going to the moon, or are they lying about what they

01:18:19.560 saw when they got there?

01:18:20.940 Yes.

01:18:21.260 Yeah, it's a Nazi base on the dark side of the moon.

01:18:25.500 Because there are, how many minutes that are missing?

01:18:28.200 Don't they have, like, missing tapes from there?

01:18:30.960 That's the shit that really, like, because I'm not, I think they went there.

01:18:36.260 I just think they saw something when they got there that they were like, this is fucking

01:18:40.220 weird.

01:18:40.600 And they were like, don't talk about it.

01:18:42.220 So, Obama was bragging about getting into outer space orbit, outer Earth orbit, which

01:18:48.300 is like 300 miles from the surface of the Earth.

01:18:51.200 And that's in 2012.

01:18:53.040 Right.

01:18:53.700 So, I think the moon is something like 15,000 miles from the Earth.

01:18:56.660 I think he's just a retarded blood person.

01:18:58.420 If I, I'm just going to pause.

01:19:01.460 No, I think he was talking about the fucking 70s that they had the technology to fucking,

01:19:08.040 like, videotape the stepping on the moon.

01:19:10.960 And also, like, how the fuck do they videotape going on the moon?

01:19:13.840 Right, and send it back live.

01:19:15.780 Yes.

01:19:16.360 Let's just say, let's just say hypothetically, I fucked Toad's mom.

01:19:19.460 And I fucked her bowl deep.

01:19:21.220 Would I brag about just putting the tip in?

01:19:24.420 No.

01:19:25.220 Makes no sense.

01:19:26.460 I'd say I put my balls in there.

01:19:28.460 And it was crazy.

01:19:29.400 Well, dude, and what about, dude, as far as the moon shit, what about the Van Allen belt?

01:19:36.000 How do you explain how they got through that?

01:19:38.000 What?

01:19:40.220 I don't know.

01:19:41.120 It's a belt of radiation that you have to get through to reach the moon.

01:19:44.780 I mean, I'm pretty sure if they can get through space, they can get through radiation.

01:19:48.360 I'm not like this.

01:19:49.100 Wait, quick, daddy.

01:19:49.760 What do you think about Dane Cook?

01:19:51.160 I know this is something separate, but I want to ask a comedian, what, what's the deal

01:19:55.280 with Dane Cook?

01:19:55.980 Doesn't hold up.

01:19:56.860 I'll tell you that.

01:19:57.560 That's one of those comedies that when you're like 16, you're like, dude, I fucking love

01:20:02.120 Dane Cook.

01:20:02.740 And then you're an adult, and you're like, I kind of regret.

01:20:04.700 My whole personality at 16 was like a baseball player.

01:20:06.940 The B&E bit, the B&E bit still kind of holds up to me.

01:20:10.720 That's still pretty fucking funny.

01:20:12.680 Also, also, real quick before he answers, Employee of the Month holds up.

01:20:18.000 I don't care what you say.

01:20:18.560 Does it?

01:20:19.660 Wow.

01:20:20.100 The best movie that Dane Cook is in is Mr. Brooks, by the way.

01:20:23.820 All right.

01:20:24.080 Let's let our guests talk, motherfuckers.

01:20:25.500 Yeah, go ahead.

01:20:26.140 Sorry.

01:20:27.380 Well, no, no.

01:20:28.380 I think that it's like, it's interesting because it came full circle from 16-year-olds liking

01:20:35.800 Dane Cook to Dane Cook liking 16-year-olds.

01:20:38.660 Have you seen anybody that he's dated as of lately?

01:20:46.240 Oh, yeah.

01:20:47.540 They're pretty young.

01:20:50.520 His looks do not hold up.

01:20:52.040 He looks like he's fucked like a melted candle.

01:20:56.000 He looked pretty good looking back in the day.

01:20:58.640 He really was.

01:20:59.440 He was, yeah.

01:21:00.440 Yeah, he was.

01:21:01.440 Now his hair is burnt out wet.

01:21:03.720 Dane Cook was like the white Kevin Hart.

01:21:07.060 Yes.

01:21:07.320 And it's like, I get it, and I understood some of it, but as of like, you know, an adult,

01:21:18.520 I was like, I'm good.

01:21:21.380 I like funny things.

01:21:23.860 Except it's weird, though, that a Dane Cook is way taller and more athletic than Kevin Hart.

01:21:29.160 I'll say, though, comedically, Kevin Hart's better, honestly.

01:21:32.480 Yeah, he doesn't much than Kevin Hart.

01:21:33.640 Yeah, I would say so.

01:21:35.180 Wasn't there a whole thing about how he was, didn't like, he steal some shit?

01:21:39.180 Didn't he, like, wasn't he stealing jokes and doing something like that?

01:21:41.920 Yeah, if he might be stealing, he ain't trying, so.

01:21:43.800 Oh, shit, yeah.

01:21:44.620 Or wasn't the whole thing, like, he bought it from Louis C.K. or something?

01:21:47.780 He bought the jokes?

01:21:48.840 Some shit.

01:21:49.740 I don't, I don't even.

01:21:50.400 Yeah.

01:21:50.860 Wait, Dane Cook or Kevin Hart?

01:21:52.580 Dane Cook.

01:21:53.320 Dane Cook was, it was like, he, people were saying he was stealing.

01:21:56.180 I think he said he bought some, but I know it was Louis.

01:21:58.360 And then, like, but the dude was doing stadiums.

01:22:02.820 Like, he was the one that did bring in.

01:22:04.420 In the ground, yeah.

01:22:05.500 Yeah, but he was, let me, I don't, have you watched a special where he's literally on a-

01:22:09.400 Vicious Circle was fucking, I gotta listen to it again to see if it holds up.

01:22:12.660 Vicious Circle was tight.

01:22:14.520 I have a soft spot in my heart for him because, like, guys like Dane Cook introduced me to

01:22:18.220 guys, like, out of, like, a Jay Moore or, like, even a Greg Gerardo.

01:22:21.800 That got me into, like, this, this stand-up comedy shit.

01:22:24.900 Yes.

01:22:25.520 So, it was the training wheels.

01:22:26.920 No, you know what it is?

01:22:27.860 Oh, training wheels.

01:22:29.060 Yeah.

01:22:29.320 You know what it is?

01:22:30.120 Dane Cook was actually a conspiracy theory where they just had this, like, pretty good-looking,

01:22:35.540 like, jacked comedian who wasn't actually funny, but everybody thought that he was funny.

01:22:39.100 He was not fucking jacked.

01:22:40.960 But go on.

01:22:41.480 Because, because he would draw in.

01:22:43.700 Well, I thought he was.

01:22:45.280 He's a good fit.

01:22:45.400 He's a good fit.

01:22:45.700 Because he would draw in, and as he still does, as Crip mentioned, he would draw in all

01:22:50.300 the underage girls for the elites to fuck.

01:22:54.260 That was the whole thing.

01:22:55.580 It's the Dane Cook conspiracy.

01:22:57.720 Wow.

01:22:59.060 Dane Cook also got me into comedy, along with Daniel Tosh.

01:23:02.420 Daniel Tosh also got me into comedy.

01:23:04.500 Daniel Tosh kind of annoys me.

01:23:06.980 To this day, he annoys me.

01:23:08.900 His comedy holds up, though.

01:23:11.180 He's like the Tony Hinchcliffe of the before.

01:23:15.360 Yeah.

01:23:15.820 I just can't stop.

01:23:16.520 Oh, you can't tell if he's gay?

01:23:18.320 Well, that's even a whole bit he does.

01:23:19.800 I feel like whenever he says people come up to his parents' house, and they're just

01:23:24.520 like, is he gay?

01:23:25.400 And their mom, like, shuts the door and runs away.

01:23:28.920 He had a whole bit on Tosh.0 where he, him and his entire film crew took a Viagra and

01:23:35.820 watched hardcore gay porno.

01:23:37.560 And the last, and they had, see, who got the left, he was the first one to fight.

01:23:41.040 Dude, Mitch Hedberg.

01:23:43.500 I love Hedberg.

01:23:45.020 Hedberg's my favorite.

01:23:45.700 In my head, he is the goddamn, like, he is, like, borderline in the, he's, like, in the

01:23:51.040 prospective goat level.

01:23:53.020 And I get it.

01:23:53.840 It's stupid.

01:23:54.660 His jokes are, like, stupid little puns.

01:23:56.860 They're, they're, they're, they're genius.

01:23:58.940 They're, yeah, they're, no, they are genius, yeah.

01:24:01.360 Fuck you for even saying that.

01:24:02.840 Fuck you, Jose, for even saying that.

01:24:03.840 Well, I mean, like, they're just silly puns.

01:24:05.640 Like, they're silly jokes and joke, joke, joke, joke, joke.

01:24:08.340 But, like, it's so good.

01:24:10.000 So good.

01:24:10.820 Like.

01:24:11.780 He's, like, one of those, uh, in comparison to, to Norm, where once they're gone, there

01:24:18.520 is no other, that, that's it, you know?

01:24:21.800 Right.

01:24:22.540 Yeah, for sure.

01:24:23.780 I'm kind of glad he died.

01:24:24.860 There's so many stupid fucking banana jokes.

01:24:27.260 Like, do you want a frozen banana?

01:24:28.840 No, but I want a normal banana later, so yes.

01:24:33.900 I used to.

01:24:35.900 Yeah, I don't get bananas, man, because with a banana, yellow means go, and green means

01:24:41.400 slow down.

01:24:43.540 And red means where the fuck did you get that banana?

01:24:45.900 You fucked it up already, dude.

01:24:47.540 You fucked it up.

01:24:49.160 I'm glad he died, because, I mean, there would have come a point where he would have just,

01:24:53.080 like, petered out, and then it wouldn't have been the way it was.

01:24:56.860 You know, I don't know if it's, uh, unpopular to say, but kind of how I feel about Chris Farley.

01:25:03.080 I, I'm a little glad he died.

01:25:04.840 Because, like, I did not want to see him end up in the, the Sandler fucking burnout, you

01:25:12.400 know, crew.

01:25:13.600 Yeah, like, what you just said, like, irritate me a little bit about Mitch, but that holds

01:25:18.240 true for fucking, uh, Farley.

01:25:19.400 Imagine Chris Farley and grownups.

01:25:20.880 For Mitch, not so much.

01:25:21.940 Mitch, I think, I think, Adam Sandler's crew is, like, is, like, NWO when they fucking wheel

01:25:27.160 them out for, like, Wrestlemania.

01:25:29.240 Now, do you feel the same about Patrice and about, like, uh, Ralphie May?

01:25:34.700 No, Patrice, Patrice would have still been relevant.

01:25:38.040 Yeah.

01:25:38.240 I think Mitch had more life to him, too.

01:25:40.700 Although, I do think, I think, uh, fucking Farley was, like, at his limit already.

01:25:44.960 Ralphie May, Ralphie May didn't have that, that same edge as Patrice.

01:25:49.580 No, no.

01:25:49.880 He had a very, to me, he was, like, a very, like, like, a fluffy vibe.

01:25:53.180 Like, he had.

01:25:54.260 Gabriel Iglesias.

01:25:55.740 Yeah, he very much was a great, I wasn't a fan of May.

01:25:59.340 I liked him, but, you know, he was.

01:26:00.880 Yeah, it was good.

01:26:01.600 What is.

01:26:02.520 Yeah.

01:26:02.880 I thought it was really funny when he died.

01:26:06.220 Holy shit.

01:26:06.940 I love about Mitch, one of my favorite things about Mitch was he was, like, one of the original

01:26:11.020 trolls.

01:26:12.000 Like, I remember when he would do, like, his, uh, specials, he would, like, he would sometimes

01:26:16.980 do the setup and then not do a punchline, and then, like, the crowd would laugh out of,

01:26:21.460 like, awkward laughter.

01:26:22.740 Yeah, and you'd be like, what the fuck is going on here?

01:26:24.560 Yeah, he'd make fun of them for laughing.

01:26:27.340 Yeah, and then he'd win them over, man.

01:26:29.420 I'm not a stand-up comedian, but to be able to craft that, like, he wrote that beforehand

01:26:33.640 and knew the response that was coming, it's genius.

01:26:37.040 To be able to deliver that, man, it's great.

01:26:39.200 Yeah.

01:26:39.400 No, I, it's, uh, it's a, it's a special skill that you have to have, because it's like,

01:26:44.440 uh, you have to not give a shit in a way.

01:26:47.900 Like, you have to be the one that I don't care if they don't laugh, because that's gonna

01:26:53.640 make me laugh, and that's cool.

01:26:56.500 That's a certain level of cool.

01:26:58.300 Well, it's also being so fucking, like, cool and just gnarly to be, like, I'm down with

01:27:03.640 awkward silence and just awkward moments and just actually just sit there and just, just,

01:27:08.980 like, soak it in.

01:27:10.220 Yeah.

01:27:10.440 And just, like, in front of, like, you know, audience of, you know, a good amount of people

01:27:15.160 and just sit there and just, like, be able to, oh, that's, I mean, that to me gets, that

01:27:19.280 fucks with me.

01:27:19.960 I can't do that.

01:27:20.780 Yeah.

01:27:21.260 I was like, I just have some unfunny shit.

01:27:24.640 I will say, I think, uh, I think Steven Wright is, like, one of the closest to what Mitch

01:27:29.560 Hedberg does, at least, because it's like, yeah, it's one-liner, just, like, total deadpan,

01:27:34.840 and, like, people at first are gonna be like, what the fuck?

01:27:37.640 Like, you know who I'm hoping kills himself?

01:27:40.420 Me.

01:27:40.820 Before, before, before he, he fades out, the, the, the dude, I forget his name, uh,

01:27:47.140 he's like the, he's like the dirty, uh, Jerry Seinfeld.

01:27:51.080 Always on skanks.

01:27:52.020 Fuck, I forget his name.

01:27:53.280 Dirty Seinfeld?

01:27:54.320 Me.

01:27:57.360 Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, like, with your condition, you have, like, a limited lifespan, right?

01:28:04.260 Mark Norman.

01:28:04.780 It's like you have muscular atrophy, like, or wasting away type thing, right?

01:28:08.860 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:28:09.480 Yeah, so there, there is something to you doing comedy, because it's like, you will be

01:28:13.920 at that, if you magically time this with, like, the height of your skill, it will be

01:28:18.360 like, oh my god, he's a fucking legend, like, it's like the perfect way to go out, you know?

01:28:22.820 You don't think I, I, I'm banking on that?

01:28:27.180 Well, I'm, I'm putting in all my chips now, and I'm, I'm going out in a fucking blaze of

01:28:33.100 glory.

01:28:33.540 He's going to, he's going to, he's going to, he's going to film a, he's going to film

01:28:36.360 his, uh, special, like, right before, like, he can barely talk anymore, right before he

01:28:41.480 can do it.

01:28:42.420 And then, and then I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to call it.

01:28:46.860 Oh, Jesus!

01:28:48.100 You know what, not even because he's that funny, just because fuck him.

01:28:51.800 I just read that chat, uh, the road to Providence, and I agree.

01:28:56.480 You definitely should.

01:28:58.740 You know what, it makes me so irrationally mad that that man is fucking, uh, Kim Kardashian.

01:29:03.860 Not even that I find her that extravagantly attractive.

01:29:06.140 It's just that, like, he is nowhere near where he should be.

01:29:09.640 He has a massive cock, apparently.

01:29:12.680 He has an absolute cock.

01:29:13.740 We've talked about that before with Crypt Daddy, I think we talked about it.

01:29:17.100 We called it Pete Davidson Syndrome.

01:29:19.780 Oh, man.

01:29:20.560 It kind of, it's kind of disheartening because it's like, all you need to have is a massive

01:29:24.260 cock, that's it?

01:29:25.160 Like, yeah.

01:29:25.700 You can be a ugly motherfucker.

01:29:27.920 That's just a lie people say, you know?

01:29:30.100 Like, I mean, it's called Small Dick Cope, but like, dude, it's not all just about having

01:29:34.220 a huge dick, like, dude, it is, apparently it is.

01:29:36.980 No, dude, it's not about the money.

01:29:38.680 Dude, he's like, Kim Kardashian is all the money.

01:29:39.840 He is loaded, though.

01:29:41.040 It also, it's something to do with him being goofy, him being funny, him having a lot of

01:29:44.800 His dad dying in 9-11.

01:29:46.400 Yeah, dude, there you go.

01:29:47.900 That's right.

01:29:48.520 There you go.

01:29:49.200 Maybe, maybe the Jews were like, hey, sorry about your dad, man.

01:29:53.520 He has a huge dick.

01:29:54.080 You want Kim Kardashian?

01:29:56.060 You want to be like you?

01:29:57.320 What really is he's a, he's a, Pete Davidson, I'm just going to assume he's a Jew.

01:30:01.180 I don't even know if he is.

01:30:02.160 They just took him down to Hollow Earth, and they said, hey, we're going to have you play

01:30:06.940 out this 9-11 fake bullshit, and you can, like, use this to build a career off of.

01:30:11.260 He's going to be chilling down here in Hollow Earth with fucking Hitler.

01:30:13.720 It's going to be cool.

01:30:14.820 You know, you just build your career off this, and, you know, like, whenever you finally

01:30:18.360 peter out and off yourself, you can come down to Hollow Earth, too, you know?

01:30:22.160 Dude, it's like, it's Marky Mark and Seth MacFarlane, same thing.

01:30:25.180 They were on planes that were going to crash into the towers, and they got off.

01:30:28.460 And now they have, like, TV, you know, one's a movie star, one has Family Guy, and whatever.

01:30:33.400 Yeah, dude, dude, it was like, it was like how John Jacob Astor, whichever one it was,

01:30:38.140 didn't get on the Titanic.

01:30:40.140 You know this shit?

01:30:41.320 Like, there were, like, some rich, like, higher-up people who were, like, involved in the creation

01:30:45.700 of the Federal Reserve who, it seems like they knew that the Titanic was going to sink.

01:30:51.840 They didn't get on the Titanic, and they knew some of their, like, competition were on the ship.

01:30:56.900 Dude, but there's a theory that the Titanic was...

01:30:59.200 I was about to get into it, Jose.

01:31:00.780 The theory that the Titanic was just an insurance fucking scam.

01:31:04.840 Not even that.

01:31:05.760 That's the theory of 9-11.

01:31:07.540 Yeah.

01:31:08.140 Well, the Titanic also, the one that sank wasn't actually the Titanic.

01:31:12.620 No, that's right, yeah.

01:31:13.600 It was its sister ship, the, uh, fuck, the Invincible, or no, the, uh...

01:31:19.560 Oh, right, it was J.P. Morgan, that's right.

01:31:21.780 J.P. Morgan was the one who did not get on the Titanic, and Astor was on it.

01:31:26.540 And there was, like, there was some weird stuff about how, like, the crew that was on the Titanic

01:31:32.680 was actually the crew, it was the other ship, so, and so, like, and they told them all, like,

01:31:37.580 hey, you have to call it this ship.

01:31:40.000 I can't, that was, like, the Invincible, or the fucking, some of the ships, right?

01:31:43.160 It sounds like it, something like that.

01:31:43.980 Yeah, the unsinkable.

01:31:45.860 Yeah, and they were, like, um, and, like, sometimes, like, some people let it slip.

01:31:50.640 There was also some weird stuff about, like, uh, other ships in the area, like, that's,

01:31:55.000 like, they, like, called in, and they were, like, that's not the Titanic, that's the fucking...

01:31:58.980 Or there was, like, also a bunch of ships that went out, like, three hours before the

01:32:03.380 Titanic got to the spot that hit the iceberg.

01:32:05.820 There was, like, a bunch of other ships that went out there, like, kind of circled around

01:32:08.780 it for a couple hours and, like, left, like, really weird.

01:32:11.460 It was, it was a bunch of weird shit about, like, the Titanic also.

01:32:15.900 Yeah.

01:32:16.660 I mean, it's just still, the way it hit, also, like, why did, it still should, I don't think

01:32:20.640 the way, it was still designed, even how it was hit, to actually still be able to stay

01:32:26.220 up, I don't know.

01:32:26.980 Like the, like the Twin Towers.

01:32:28.660 Yeah.

01:32:29.680 That's, yep, that's 100% true.

01:32:32.380 Uh, yeah, the, the Titanic was a controlled demolition.

01:32:36.100 Jesus.

01:32:37.160 Well, all right, guys, we're in an hour and a half.

01:32:39.720 I don't know if you guys want to, you know, more of the other boats.

01:32:42.360 Yeah.

01:32:42.780 Dancing Israelis.

01:32:43.780 It always comes back to the Jews.

01:32:45.320 Uh, I mean, it's not my fault that it just happens to be the Jews control everything.

01:32:48.560 I mean, it doesn't make me an asemitic, but it just happens to be the case.

01:32:51.440 But, uh, uh, but anyways, uh, we're at an hour and a half.

01:32:55.420 I do think we're probably at a good spot.

01:32:56.740 We're kind of just petering off now and going off to rude, random shit.

01:32:59.680 Uh, I don't know if you guys want to start dropping plugs unless you have something else

01:33:02.100 meaningful to add to the conversation.

01:33:03.700 I want, they want to get, Crip, one last time.

01:33:05.280 Shut the fuck up.

01:33:06.340 No, I'm just kidding.

01:33:06.680 Go on.

01:33:06.940 Fuck you.

01:33:07.400 Um, do you have any other conspiracy theories that you just like absolutely love that made

01:33:12.820 me like your wackiest one?

01:33:15.180 That's the only thing I can think of.

01:33:16.020 Like, I just want to hear, like, I want to try to get everybody's like, just kind of like

01:33:18.720 their funnest one.

01:33:19.440 Not the super, like the thing where the kids are getting kidnapped in the fucking woods.

01:33:22.980 Uh, I think, uh, off the top of my head, I really liked the one that was going around

01:33:29.340 that, uh, what was it called?

01:33:32.140 The, um, Astro Fest was actually, like, a giant satanic ritual.

01:33:37.460 Oh, yes.

01:33:38.920 Yeah.

01:33:39.240 And all the people that died were, like, sacrifices to Satan.

01:33:43.300 Like, that, that shit was awesome.

01:33:46.340 I mean, that just metal as fuck.

01:33:49.560 Did you see that video of Travis Scott?

01:33:51.720 Like, he's, like, way above them, and he's just, like, saying something in a monotone

01:33:55.340 voice, and there's, like, five people having heart attacks, and he's looking at them.

01:33:59.100 It's crazy shit, man.

01:33:59.980 Yeah, like, I, I fucking, that one was really funny.

01:34:03.860 I just.

01:34:04.980 Well, it kind of checks out, too, because, I mean, like, this is where you get to, like,

01:34:08.880 weird things like numerology, and, like, uh, for example, there were multiple 9-11s where

01:34:13.140 huge, crazy events happened, and shit like that.

01:34:15.720 I mean, I'm not sure when the fucking Astro World happened, but it's, like, it is, seems

01:34:20.380 to be there's weird coincidences between where awful amounts of people dying, uh, you know,

01:34:26.300 tend to happen in similar geographical locations and similar dates, and it's, like, almost

01:34:32.000 like, maybe there's, like, fucking elites that are trying to harvest the energy from

01:34:37.140 that shit to do their weird occult, whatever the fuck, like, maybe there's some sort of

01:34:42.260 other dimensional shit going on.

01:34:43.660 Who the fuck knows?

01:34:44.580 I, I don't know.

01:34:45.460 It really gets into weird shit like that, you know?

01:34:47.320 Well, dude, it's, like, it's kind of always been a thing, right?

01:34:50.220 Just that the elites are a bunch of Satanist pedophiles, basically, like, the satanic panic

01:34:55.640 and shit, and Geraldo Rivera, all that shit.

01:34:58.880 I was watching, uh, right before this, I was watching fucking, uh, the new season of

01:35:03.460 Stranger Things, and they brought up, uh, when Dungeons & Dragons was thought to be satanic,

01:35:07.360 and they were, like, all that shit, but that just makes me laugh about that, but, uh, go

01:35:11.560 on.

01:35:12.160 It's like a false flag, yeah.

01:35:14.040 Yeah.

01:35:14.820 Like, but, but, yeah, the, the, uh, the Astro World one was very fucking weird, and just,

01:35:20.620 like, what were people doing running around, like, stabbing people with, like, uh, wasn't

01:35:25.820 there, like, the whole thing of, like, people were, like, getting, like, injected, and then

01:35:29.080 they would have heart attacks?

01:35:29.420 That's what I heard, yeah.

01:35:30.640 Yeah, and then there was, like, they couldn't, like, there were so many people there, and,

01:35:36.120 like, the, the medical cart couldn't get through, and the people, didn't they, like, start,

01:35:39.760 like, did they push the medical cart over?

01:35:42.320 I can't remember.

01:35:42.900 There was something about, like, the medical cart.

01:35:44.920 I knew, I remember it couldn't get through to them.

01:35:46.400 And, like, people, like, died, like, right on the fucking, like, in the crowd, which

01:35:50.760 was insane to me.

01:35:52.120 But, yeah, there's something weird going on, but, uh, oh, yeah, the Skink Fest was happening

01:35:57.000 at the same time.

01:35:58.000 I forgot about that.

01:36:00.240 Skink Fest was happening at the same, like, in the same place, like, a couple miles away.

01:36:05.500 Yeah, in Houston.

01:36:07.200 Yep.

01:36:07.680 Crazy shit.

01:36:09.480 Yep.

01:36:10.240 That was the reason why it all happened, man.

01:36:12.460 It was the Skink Fest.

01:36:12.960 Yeah, it was the Skink Fest.

01:36:13.920 Yeah.

01:36:14.760 All right.

01:36:15.320 Um, we can do plugs and get out of here.

01:36:18.180 Uh, Crip, I know you said you didn't have any dates, but where can people find you?

01:36:21.800 Uh, you can find me, uh, in prison.

01:36:25.360 I recently did a thing or two.

01:36:29.400 They're wanting me for some shit I did in Texas.

01:36:32.500 Are we calling kids now?

01:36:33.440 Well, they, they, they, they, they want me for some shit I did in Texas.

01:36:38.420 Well, you see, they just think Crip is a kid, so he gets away with it.

01:36:43.120 How did you, how'd your, how'd your gig go with Chrissy Mayer?

01:36:46.520 You already said it.

01:36:47.100 Fantastic.

01:36:47.940 Uh, no, no, just again, it was, uh, beautiful.

01:36:51.080 I, uh, the crowd was great.

01:36:52.640 I got people to laugh at shit that they didn't want to laugh at.

01:36:57.560 Uh, and that, that's, uh, the satisfying thing.

01:37:01.060 I had my, my first moment where I, uh, I did a bit that normally really kills and people,

01:37:09.460 uh, this time were like, oh, I don't know, I don't know about that.

01:37:13.800 And, uh, and that was, uh, and that was a very satisfying feeling.

01:37:20.060 I do it.

01:37:20.540 I do a comedy show at my house and there was like four disabled people, man.

01:37:24.220 You should have showed up.

01:37:25.460 Oh, remember I said the N word and got crickets.

01:37:28.980 I was like, oh, how many wheelchair people and, and blind people.

01:37:34.780 And like, so many different people.

01:37:36.900 Yeah.

01:37:37.100 There was like 50 people.

01:37:38.300 It was like 10% of the people were crippled or something.

01:37:40.480 Yeah.

01:37:40.700 It's weird.

01:37:41.140 I really think because we've had you in our show so much, we're like,

01:37:43.800 that we've developed a weird disproportionate audience of crippled people.

01:37:47.860 Like it's weird.

01:37:48.800 Dude, I know one of the, uh, crippled dudes who was at, uh,

01:37:53.600 Todd Lobsters was at, uh, the LNC as well.

01:37:57.460 Fucking Reno.

01:37:58.260 Like that dude gets around.

01:37:59.460 Is it Chris?

01:38:00.440 Is that his name?

01:38:01.820 White kid.

01:38:02.260 Is he like the buff, the buff one?

01:38:04.920 The buff one?

01:38:06.580 He's a young dude from Florida.

01:38:09.160 He's got like a fucking mullet.

01:38:10.460 Basically.

01:38:10.920 Oh no, that's not a buff one.

01:38:12.380 That's the one that's kind of like a dance.

01:38:17.380 The one does the whole like crutch thing.

01:38:20.260 The crutch.

01:38:20.560 You don't have to point out that he's retarded, man.

01:38:22.880 By the way, the, uh,

01:38:23.680 He's not retarded, but you know.

01:38:24.740 By the way, the ship, uh, that, uh, was labeled the Titanic was the Olympic, I believe.

01:38:30.700 I'm pretty sure that's correct.

01:38:33.260 Thank you.

01:38:34.640 Yes.

01:38:34.880 You're right.

01:38:35.640 Crypt dropped his plugs.

01:38:37.020 Uh, all right.

01:38:37.720 I was going to say, I have the No Way Jose show.

01:38:41.380 You can find me on YouTube.

01:38:42.100 I'll make your odd pickers.

01:38:43.000 I'll see as well.

01:38:43.900 I just dropped my, uh, recent Mark Clare episode.

01:38:46.600 I dropped it earlier and, uh, dropped it out behind the paywall.

01:38:49.540 I normally make it wait later, but that's because I, uh, these guys, Toad, uh, Reed and

01:38:55.200 Clint, all members of the Tower Gang, fucking, uh, dropped an episode with Ryan McWilliams,

01:39:00.060 which, uh, and the weird thing is it just so happened I recorded an episode with Mark

01:39:04.140 around the same time and, uh, it was weirdly the inverse of that.

01:39:08.180 So I was like, you know what?

01:39:08.660 I'm going to drop it at the same time.

01:39:09.760 So, uh, go check that out.

01:39:11.540 Uh, it's like, yeah, well, on Brian's show, we were talking about homosexual sex and, uh,

01:39:17.360 my asshole saving the arena reset.

01:39:19.960 So yeah.

01:39:20.220 And we were talking about heterosexual sex because that's the kind of upstanding individuals

01:39:23.680 we are.

01:39:24.720 Uh, and this is why you guys shouldn't engage in political action because it's homosexual bullshit.

01:39:30.060 Uh, no, I'm just kidding.

01:39:31.080 Uh, but no, like it did go into a lot of like political stuff on there and one, and then

01:39:34.160 it just so happened me and Mark going to a lot of, uh, where he's been lately.

01:39:37.640 So go check that out.

01:39:38.520 It's a good episode.

01:39:39.960 Uh, I don't really have anything else to plug except for that.

01:39:42.520 Follow me at 2020 No Way Jose.

01:39:44.820 Uh, that's it.

01:39:45.900 Yeah.

01:39:46.500 Oh yeah.

01:39:46.920 Uh, top lobster underscore on Twitter, top lobster.com, top lobster everywhere else.

01:39:51.420 I have a new limited edition, uh, gay pride flag design and actually a flag.

01:39:57.020 You can buy the fucking flag.

01:39:58.140 Top lobster, gay, uh, gay pride flag.

01:39:59.880 It's called a fag.

01:40:01.500 Yeah.

01:40:01.860 That's right.

01:40:02.480 Yeah.

01:40:02.720 Flag it.

01:40:04.500 Pick that up and support my bottom surgery.

01:40:07.220 Hopefully we can get there at the end of the month.

01:40:09.180 That's right.

01:40:11.100 Stay strong, top.

01:40:12.180 Only, only jerk off to also gay porn this month too, right?

01:40:15.980 What's going on in your sports podcast, Cole?

01:40:17.740 It has not happened at all because my friends, uh, have a job that they can't, they keep saying

01:40:24.860 they can't do it.

01:40:26.020 I really want to keep doing it, but I just like, it'll happen sometime again.

01:40:29.960 We have jobs, damn it.

01:40:31.660 I know.

01:40:32.740 Yeah, I know, I know, I know.

01:40:34.860 Oh, oh, Tom, Tom, is it okay to watch, so, I know you're not going to fuck your wife, this

01:40:39.580 much for gay people.

01:40:41.420 Is it okay to watch tranny porn?

01:40:44.440 Yes.

01:40:44.820 Ooh, what kind of tranny?

01:40:46.340 This is very confusing.

01:40:47.980 Male to female.

01:40:50.160 Male to female.

01:40:51.420 Do they still have their dicks?

01:40:52.880 Yes.

01:40:53.840 Okay, it's fine.

01:40:54.800 Yeah.

01:40:55.740 Sweet, dude.

01:40:56.380 I'm going to go jerk off to Blair White.

01:41:00.200 Dude, I'm not going to lie.

01:41:01.440 Blair White is a grade A fucking trap.

01:41:03.960 I'm not going to lie.

01:41:05.160 No, no.

01:41:06.240 He probably has a tiny penis.

01:41:07.360 No, no, no, no, no.

01:41:08.280 I was, I watched her interview with Michael Malice today, and you could tell.

01:41:14.360 Like, there's so.

01:41:15.800 No, no, no, no.

01:41:16.100 You're telling me if you're in a club, you're fucking dancing.

01:41:19.360 Okay, is it a dark club?

01:41:21.900 Maybe.

01:41:22.300 Maybe.

01:41:22.880 Like, it's not what I'm talking about.

01:41:24.380 You were just like grading.

01:41:25.040 Yeah, you're like, wait a minute.

01:41:25.860 What's that that rubbed against my thighs?

01:41:27.720 Dude, I don't know.

01:41:27.880 You cannot tell.

01:41:29.100 She just looks like a plastic bimbo at this point.

01:41:31.800 Like, is that your butt on?

01:41:34.060 I would not be like, ooh, dude.

01:41:35.600 Like, me, I thought I would be dude.

01:41:36.900 I'd just be like, oh, some generic plastic bimbo whore.

01:41:39.620 Like, I wouldn't be about Blair White.

01:41:41.760 So, she is kind of hot, but I feel like if you're going to be gay and you're going to date

01:41:44.880 a tranny, don't you want one of those trannies with fake tits and a huge dong?

01:41:48.300 I feel like she's got like a tiny micro penis that doesn't work.

01:41:51.280 Like, I'm just being fair here.

01:41:53.860 It's gay, man.

01:41:55.080 Wouldn't you?

01:41:55.460 Wouldn't it be nicer to say that she has a big dick?

01:41:58.820 Or, like, would it be mean to say she has a big dick?

01:42:01.860 She really doesn't.

01:42:03.180 That's true.

01:42:03.760 If it's a trans woman, is it an insult to tell them they have a huge dick?

01:42:08.920 I feel like I'd prefer them to have a smaller dick that when I'm slamming it in their ass,

01:42:12.240 it's less likely to slap back and hit my balls, you know?

01:42:17.540 That might feel nice, though.

01:42:19.040 That might feel a little nice.

01:42:20.020 There's so many women in the world.

01:42:21.540 If you're going to fuck a tranny, I mean, you're gay.

01:42:24.340 So, you might as well have, like, a huge dong hanging out there and then, you know, do what

01:42:28.700 you may.

01:42:29.680 Right?

01:42:31.160 Yeah.

01:42:32.200 I mean, it's their own.

01:42:32.980 I guess I prefer a small dick tranny.

01:42:34.760 That's where I'm at.

01:42:35.420 It's got to look like a clit, man.

01:42:39.440 We need to put out a poll from the account.

01:42:41.120 Which do you prefer, a big dick tranny or a small dick tranny?

01:42:46.380 Then we need to put out another one.

01:42:47.480 Is Blair White a big dick tranny or a small dick tranny?

01:42:52.260 Michael Malice.

01:42:56.080 Question mark.

01:42:57.880 You can find me at Tower King Cole and then follow the podcast, Tower Gang Pod, on Twitter.

01:43:02.600 Yeah, we have Monica Perez next week, and the following week, we have Josh Denny.

01:43:07.080 We don't know what we're doing past that.

01:43:09.140 Hell yeah.

01:43:10.180 Toad, Anarcho underscore Toad.

01:43:12.480 As these guys said, I was just on Brian McWilliams' show with Reed and Clint at the Reno Reset,

01:43:18.980 the LNC, and I did a show with Reed on Tyler Yonke's show, the Liberty Podcast Review.

01:43:26.960 Michael Spinner Malice.

01:43:28.300 At the LNC as well.

01:43:32.680 Who's more of a spinner, though?

01:43:34.020 Michael or fucking her?

01:43:36.780 Yeah, they'd be spinning each other like they're scissoring like this way.

01:43:39.500 Right?

01:43:40.420 They just slip sides, spin one, flip over, spin the other.

01:43:44.860 Would it be possible to both fuck a guy in the ass and have them fuck you in the ass at the same time

01:43:51.680 if you're kind of scissoring like that or, like, doing some kind of weird –

01:43:55.120 Yeah.

01:43:55.460 Like, if they have a big enough dick, they could –

01:43:57.700 Yeah, I think so.

01:43:58.440 It's a logistical nightmare, really.

01:44:00.140 I think so because there's –

01:44:01.060 Possible.

01:44:02.100 Yeah, both of them downward-facing dicks, the ones that kind of like –

01:44:05.160 I feel like it's possible, but that wouldn't be pleasurable.

01:44:08.000 Like, that would be a weird –

01:44:09.440 Downward-facing dick is my favorite yoga position.

01:44:12.860 But there is also this porn that is these two hermaphrodite –

01:44:19.460 They look like women.

01:44:20.740 They have tits.

01:44:21.500 These two hermaphrodite twins who fuck each other.

01:44:26.660 Double dick and penis.

01:44:29.440 Can you leave my dad alone?

01:44:33.160 Guys, I think we should end this.

01:44:35.640 Let's get out of here.

01:44:36.780 We're getting into weird, weird territory.

01:44:39.300 Tomorrow, a bunch of us are on Stoner Jesus' podcast.

01:44:44.360 And I believe Friday, a bunch of us are on the Porch Boys podcast.

01:44:48.400 So, we're all over the place.

01:44:49.780 I'm debating whether I want to bail that one or not.

01:44:54.180 Jose, I was debating whether I wanted to bail that one.

01:44:57.060 You fucking asshole.

01:44:57.560 I've had a podcast every episode or every day of the week so far.

01:45:01.320 I'm like, I'm not.

01:45:03.540 I don't think I'm going to be good for it by Friday.

01:45:05.440 I literally told him when I agreed to it, this is tentative.

01:45:07.900 Oh, come on.

01:45:09.780 We're going to play Cards Against Humanity.

01:45:11.540 I don't even know how you do that.

01:45:13.120 Or whatever.

01:45:13.840 Go on.

01:45:14.020 Yeah, I don't know how we're going to do that.

01:45:15.260 All right.

01:45:15.880 Hey, thanks, guys.

01:45:17.000 All right.

01:45:17.340 Peace out.

01:45:17.740 Thanks once again, dude.

Tower Gang - June 04, 2022

Ep 72 - Big Dick Tr＊nnies w⧸ Cripp Daddy

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