Tower Gang - Ep 85 - Butthole Kegels

00:00:00.980 What's up, retards?

00:00:02.460 The funniest 9-11 jokes were written on 9-12.

00:00:05.160 Women jerk off dicks like fucking they're an unruly ferret.

00:00:08.240 Yeah.

00:00:09.140 You ever had a 9-11 cocktail?

00:00:12.200 It's in Manhattan with two kamikazes.

00:00:14.360 And now, now.

00:00:16.640 You see, the socialists don't have an accurate answer for this, and she needs to account for it.

00:00:21.240 White women must be stopped.

00:00:23.260 That's right.

00:00:24.300 Yeah.

00:00:26.400 We can stay horny and retarded longer than she can stay sane.

00:00:30.760 What?

00:00:30.940 Your ass-to-penis ratio.

00:00:33.540 Ben, maybe you could say we had sex, but we didn't fuck.

00:00:35.960 You said nigger.

00:00:36.920 Oh, Jesus.

00:00:38.200 Whee!

00:00:39.880 Fat Dave, fuck you, man.

00:00:41.600 Whee!

00:00:42.520 Whee!

00:00:42.960 Whee!

00:00:45.320 Welcome, everybody, to the Tower Gang.

00:00:47.520 You could say we had sex, but we didn't fuck.

00:00:51.000 Russell, the host of Liberty Lockdown.

00:00:52.820 We got the man who never fucks, but definitely makes love, Mr. No Way Jose, Jose Galisson.

00:00:57.820 So, we got Cole, the host of Two and a Half Ticks.

00:00:59.980 I think that's still a thing.

00:01:00.920 Maybe not.

00:01:01.400 Not really sure.

00:01:02.600 We got Toad.

00:01:03.700 Zero.

00:01:04.060 V-H underscore Toad.

00:01:05.120 Make sure you follow him, because he gets banned all the time.

00:01:07.260 Because he has zero self-control.

00:01:08.800 Thank you for joining us, fine friends.

00:01:10.920 This is my favorite time of the week.

00:01:13.360 When you said the man who doesn't fuck, I thought you were going to fuck.

00:01:15.860 Yeah, I thought he was like, the man who doesn't fuck, but always comes.

00:01:18.940 I was really waiting for you to say that.

00:01:22.160 Because I don't think Jose always makes love.

00:01:24.260 I think Jose...

00:01:25.300 No.

00:01:25.660 Well...

00:01:26.080 No, he definitely fucks.

00:01:26.940 That dude definitely fucks.

00:01:27.800 I fuck far more frequently than make love.

00:01:30.200 Every once in a blue moon, I'll make love.

00:01:32.040 But it's usually fucking time.

00:01:34.200 That's sweet.

00:01:34.780 So, what's the hierarchy on that?

00:01:39.040 I guess it would be like...

00:01:40.780 Here we go.

00:01:41.740 I mean, I really need to know.

00:01:43.140 Because if you have sex, that's just like, just normal.

00:01:46.960 That's just missionary, just normal.

00:01:48.640 Just like...

00:01:49.020 Just going through the motions.

00:01:50.520 Going through the motions.

00:01:52.740 But fucking's like, laying down the hammer.

00:01:56.500 I mean, she may come.

00:01:57.840 Who knows?

00:01:58.300 Are you asking like, what is peak sex?

00:02:00.780 Is that what the question is?

00:02:01.760 More like, what's the hierarchy between make love, fuck, sex, um...

00:02:07.700 Hate fucks.

00:02:08.720 Whoa, whoa, whoa.

00:02:09.440 Hate fucks are great.

00:02:10.980 Wait, so there's a distinction between fucking and sex now?

00:02:13.900 I thought that those are both just the mechanical act of it.

00:02:17.340 No, fucking and sex are totally different.

00:02:19.340 Jesus.

00:02:20.340 That's literally his quote.

00:02:22.320 He could say we had sex, but we didn't fuck.

00:02:24.640 That was his actual quote.

00:02:25.980 So, sex and fuck can't be the same thing.

00:02:28.560 Yeah, that's right.

00:02:29.400 Like, it just soars over my head now, man.

00:02:32.600 It's like background noise.

00:02:33.840 I feel like fucking definitely has some sort of emotion behind it.

00:02:37.860 Like, more than just like...

00:02:39.340 Fucking has like rage behind it.

00:02:41.620 Whereas making love has...

00:02:43.260 Not rage, more just aggression.

00:02:45.360 Aggression.

00:02:45.680 Whereas hate fuck has rage, and that's a special thing.

00:02:48.420 Like, have you ever been in like a fight where you completely disagree with a girlfriend or wife or whatever?

00:02:53.080 And like, you don't even come to a resolution.

00:02:54.900 You're still fucking mad about it.

00:02:56.000 And then you fuck.

00:02:56.620 You're like, that is great.

00:02:57.440 Oh, so it's just separate from makeup sex, right?

00:03:00.860 Yeah.

00:03:01.080 Because makeup sex is more like the...

00:03:03.600 You have made up.

00:03:04.520 No, like, you're taking your aggression on each other.

00:03:06.760 And then fuck.

00:03:07.980 No, it's just...

00:03:08.440 Fucking has a domination connotation because like, you can be fucked by a girl, too.

00:03:14.720 That's true.

00:03:15.020 You can fuck her or she can fuck you.

00:03:16.360 If you're fucking gay.

00:03:18.520 That's true.

00:03:18.960 Domination and aggression go into fucking.

00:03:21.300 That's what it has to be.

00:03:22.340 That's true.

00:03:23.000 Now, is all rape hate fucking?

00:03:25.960 Or can you rape and make love simultaneously?

00:03:27.460 No, I've made love plenty of times.

00:03:29.700 Is it like Toad here is like the kid in college who stumbled into it like in the first year and accidentally stumbled in a fourth year class?

00:03:35.900 I was like, I don't understand anything.

00:03:39.400 You've made rape before, Toad.

00:03:41.100 Is what you're saying.

00:03:42.580 Toad straight up skipped intro to sex and went on to sex 400.

00:03:46.260 No, man, no.

00:03:47.540 Dude, I literally did that.

00:03:49.460 My victims will be like, hey, could you please stop fucking me?

00:03:52.020 And I'm like, I am loving you right now.

00:03:55.220 I actually did do that, though.

00:03:57.400 I took like all the AP tests and stuff and I tested like out of a bunch of the intro classes.

00:04:02.420 So I was like, fuck yeah.

00:04:03.480 I'm in like this more advanced computer science class right away.

00:04:06.260 The point here wasn't to say that you're an advanced student.

00:04:09.040 The point was to make the point of the metaphor of being a student going into a spot that's far beyond what he's prepared for.

00:04:15.400 That was the point of the joke, Toad.

00:04:17.380 To put it in Toad's terminology, it'd be like failing an AP exam.

00:04:22.640 Well, I think of it more as like he's the, it's like showing a fourth grader algebra or like, or like, or something like that.

00:04:30.000 And they're like, what the fuck are the letters?

00:04:31.920 Like, what the fuck?

00:04:33.160 Like, they're just so cute.

00:04:34.140 It's like my like 11 year old self looking at a naked woman with dial up internet.

00:04:38.860 That's pretty much the same thing, right?

00:04:40.840 No, it's not even close.

00:04:42.980 We're just on a whole different wavelength.

00:04:44.460 And when we go into deep theory on sex.

00:04:47.460 Again, Toad, we're in AP classes.

00:04:49.600 You haven't had the first grade yet.

00:04:50.540 This is why you can't separate theory from practice.

00:04:53.360 You know?

00:04:55.700 We're in advanced calc and Toad is figuring out what two plus two equals.

00:04:59.460 It's cool, dude.

00:05:00.200 You'll get there eventually.

00:05:01.220 Don't sweat it.

00:05:01.900 Dude, I can't help it, man.

00:05:03.220 If I'm the ace of sex.

00:05:06.920 Just another shot at ace out of the blue.

00:05:09.000 I feel like he keeps, like, trying to find ways to twist these or make metaphors.

00:05:13.920 This time I was like, it's because I'm so good.

00:05:18.160 Oh, that's true.

00:05:19.480 Anna Banana said the gays have a different version of fucking.

00:05:23.180 So I would think that they do have a different sex fuck.

00:05:26.940 That shit's hot, though.

00:05:29.320 They take that shit to next levels.

00:05:31.340 Yeah, that's true.

00:05:32.180 Because, I mean, then you start having bottoms and tops and power bombs.

00:05:35.160 Dude, you talk to gay dudes and then you find out the fetishes just go wild there.

00:05:39.160 Like, they don't even try to hide it.

00:05:40.220 They're like, we're all about the fucking year.

00:05:41.700 Like, there's no women here.

00:05:42.600 You need to cool that shit out.

00:05:45.600 Well, imagine if we tweeted women the way gay guys treat each other.

00:05:49.460 Like, they're like, I'm into, like, beavers or whatever the fuck.

00:05:52.040 Or I'm into bears.

00:05:52.980 Like, I want, like, a big early man.

00:05:54.240 Like, where you say that about a woman, you're like, they're like, nope.

00:05:56.840 No, you're fucking canceled.

00:05:58.200 But, like, gay guys are just like, no, fuck little dudes.

00:06:01.000 I want to get fucked by a hairy, fat asshole, dude.

00:06:04.600 That's all I want.

00:06:05.500 Hell yeah.

00:06:07.000 Fucked by an asshole?

00:06:08.320 No, my fucking asshole.

00:06:09.020 It is pretty great.

00:06:10.700 Well, you can get fucked by an asshole, by the way.

00:06:12.840 Clint already brought this up, that women can fuck a dude.

00:06:16.400 So, you can get fucked by an asshole.

00:06:18.160 Can you imagine getting fucked by a dude?

00:06:20.080 If he is throwing it back, throwing his asshole back into your dick.

00:06:23.220 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

00:06:25.340 He is riding you like a fucking ass.

00:06:26.760 That's called a power bottom, yeah.

00:06:28.080 Like, cowboy?

00:06:29.780 I guess it would be a cowboy.

00:06:31.700 That is definitely a power bomb, for sure.

00:06:34.880 Dude, just doing, like, little tiny squats on your ding dong.

00:06:37.540 Fucking hot.

00:06:38.980 Doing male kegels.

00:06:40.560 Fucking squeezing that asshole.

00:06:41.980 I've never even imagined that.

00:06:43.720 That is such a funny visual.

00:06:46.180 Butthole kegels?

00:06:47.180 That is a funny concept.

00:06:48.520 Because, like, I just thought about it.

00:06:49.540 I'm like, I can squeeze my butt pretty damn good.

00:06:52.000 So, like, you probably could take that shit to the next level.

00:06:54.460 Well, here's the thing.

00:06:55.480 You have, like, there is way more practice doing butthole kegels than women ever have

00:07:02.600 doing vagina kegels.

00:07:04.080 Like, we're shitting every day.

00:07:05.120 Hey, that's a butthole kegels.

00:07:07.000 Speak for yourself, bro.

00:07:09.720 Wait, do you not?

00:07:11.380 You shit once a week?

00:07:12.720 I was about to say, I was like, Jesus, man.

00:07:14.700 I've texted you.

00:07:15.480 I've texted you when I had three shits in, like, 45 minutes.

00:07:17.660 Yes.

00:07:18.100 Call the ambulance.

00:07:20.100 And you said it was full-size shits.

00:07:22.300 Yeah, it was full-size shits.

00:07:23.180 I was like, and I wasn't constipated.

00:07:25.160 It was just like, hey, we got three shits to get out of here, bud.

00:07:28.180 Dude, I started on keto again, and my shit was, like, as hard as a rock all of a sudden.

00:07:33.180 You ever have that happen?

00:07:34.400 You got to be careful.

00:07:35.160 If you don't include a little bit of fiber, you will get fucking biggity-backed up.

00:07:40.540 I wonder how backed up Jordan Peterson is.

00:07:44.060 The dude says he only, no, legitimately only eats salt, meat, and water.

00:07:48.180 You don't have to add, like, salad or fiber if you eat really fatty meat, because the fat will keep you moving along.

00:07:56.320 Oh, okay.

00:07:56.780 Well, he said he, because I was watching that, like, a little clip of him on Rogan.

00:08:01.900 He said he legitimately only eats steak, water, and salt.

00:08:05.660 Yeah, he's been doing that for, like, three years, and it saves his life.

00:08:08.080 And he was like, I never cheat.

00:08:09.260 Never.

00:08:09.920 He was like, I never cheat.

00:08:11.860 He was like, and I'll do, like, club soda or, like, whatever, or Perrier.

00:08:16.120 Can we go back briefly, just for a second, to imagine, because you guys went straight to the butthole kegels.

00:08:21.860 I was talking about cowboy position, where a dude is, like, he's sitting, he's basically sitting, like, he's, like, standing over you, squats down, puts his hands on your throat, because I'm imagining this is a dominance thing.

00:08:34.700 And then he just, like, he just, like, does little tiny fucking ups and downs.

00:08:39.100 That shit.

00:08:40.300 I've never been more into gay stuff.

00:08:41.600 But imagine, now, there is a special moment whenever you do fuck or have sex or whatever, whenever you and your partner come together.

00:08:49.580 Now, imagine the cowboy fuck whenever they cum at the same time.

00:08:53.580 That must be glorious for gay dudes, because it's like, you're getting cummed on, and you're cumming in a dude's ass at the same time.

00:09:00.800 That would be, that might be the next right there.

00:09:04.320 That was the main thing I found intriguing about this cowboy position, is that their dick, assuming it's, like, not rock hard, would be hitting your stomach over and over again.

00:09:14.400 And that shit would be absolutely hysterical.

00:09:16.360 It would be distracting.

00:09:17.440 You'd be, like, trying to be into it, like, oh, yeah, what the fuck, yeah.

00:09:24.460 You know that the other guy's dick is also hard.

00:09:27.680 Oh, it's, oh, it's hard as a motherfucking, like, diamond in a snowstorm, dude, like, 100%.

00:09:33.760 It's a poop diamond, actually.

00:09:37.300 I love how that, like, it kind of was, like, this whole discussion's like, man, it would be awesome to be gay.

00:09:42.460 Because, like, the whole point of the Kegels being way better, like, you ever had your old lady do the Kegel shit?

00:09:47.120 That thing is, like, you're like, whoa.

00:09:48.540 Uh-oh, like, you just kicked that in a hyperdrive, and, like, the buttholes gives you a vagina, so you're like, all right.

00:09:53.580 Gorilla grip pussy on you.

00:09:54.960 You must have done some droids tonight, honey, Jesus.

00:09:58.100 You got some gorilla tape up in that asshole's time?

00:10:00.960 No, it would be great to be gay, dude.

00:10:02.480 Can you imagine just, like, getting piped out by your homeboy and then golfing and then fucking playing Risk at home in Cellars of Catan and then watching the fucking Lakers game?

00:10:12.700 This shit sounds incredible.

00:10:13.520 Let's know if we didn't play video games.

00:10:15.460 And God literally was like, yeah, and God, God.

00:10:18.540 God literally was like, nah, I can't have this AIDS.

00:10:21.020 And then they were like, it's still better.

00:10:22.960 He's like, that shit is way too fun.

00:10:24.700 Monkey pox.

00:10:25.200 And they were just like, whatever.

00:10:26.840 Yeah, he just doesn't want to happen.

00:10:28.540 You see that one, I guess it just came up today, that one Italian guy that has HIV, A, so he has, well, same thing.

00:10:35.480 HIV, monkey pox, and coronavirus all at the same time.

00:10:39.280 Dude, yeah.

00:10:40.240 Face God.

00:10:40.940 Face God.

00:10:41.080 Dude, the gays cracked the code, and God is so upset about it, so he just keeps throwing shit at him.

00:10:48.540 And apparently, and it's still so good.

00:10:51.420 Like, it's so good.

00:10:52.300 They're just like, oh, like a disease where my body literally destroys itself.

00:10:57.820 But sex is still even better.

00:10:59.660 Like, it's 100% better.

00:11:01.020 Well, when you're having gay sex, you're basically like getting destroyed by another dude, right?

00:11:08.000 So, why not just also have yourself be destroyed by yourself?

00:11:12.780 I don't know where I'm going with this.

00:11:14.020 Yeah, me neither.

00:11:15.780 You were going somewhere.

00:11:17.620 There was definitely a ride.

00:11:18.720 We were definitely on a little journey.

00:11:20.340 I was listening.

00:11:21.420 You're reaching for sex and all of you.

00:11:23.400 It's like, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

00:11:26.360 Well, the thing is, dude.

00:11:27.600 You really are the ace of sex, aren't you, Toad?

00:11:30.160 Yes.

00:11:30.800 Well, dude, the reason why gay guys are all in such really good shape is because imagine

00:11:35.560 like how physically challenging it is to fuck another dude, right?

00:11:39.860 I mean, I've seen a lot of fucking pudgy, fat gays.

00:11:44.020 Like, I mean.

00:11:44.500 Dude, I could absolutely fucking do it.

00:11:46.160 It'd be no problem.

00:11:46.920 What are you talking about physically challenging?

00:11:48.200 Like, are you like, is this thing in your head the default is that it's like rape?

00:11:51.740 Because, yeah, it would really, it'd be really hard to rape a dude.

00:11:54.200 It'd be super hard.

00:11:55.660 Oh, yeah.

00:11:56.740 I would be super hard.

00:11:58.340 Yeah.

00:11:58.540 Oh, I could definitely rape a dude.

00:11:59.840 I could easily rape a dude.

00:12:01.120 Like, no problem.

00:12:02.520 By the way, Tyler, as for update, I'm working out every day.

00:12:05.900 I have been working out every day.

00:12:07.560 I just got back from a workout, actually.

00:12:10.160 Let's do it.

00:12:10.780 I just switched to six days a week.

00:12:12.220 I was doing five days.

00:12:13.500 So it's just push, pull legs.

00:12:14.980 I'm doing six days a week.

00:12:15.960 Hell yeah.

00:12:17.220 Same, bruv.

00:12:18.560 You doing push, pull legs also?

00:12:19.480 We were talking about, because we were talking about working out before this, like in the

00:12:23.500 pre-show, whatever, just like, because Jose mentioned that he used to do roids because

00:12:28.800 we all, well, me and Clint mostly have thought about, we really want to do some roids and

00:12:33.580 get fucking absolutely shredded, ripped, jacked, whatever you want, like literally all three,

00:12:38.440 all of the above.

00:12:39.280 We all should do this.

00:12:41.200 If you can, if you can drop us out for a second so we can see the art, we want to reenact

00:12:45.000 that artwork at a live tower gang.

00:12:48.160 That's the plan.

00:12:49.480 That's what we want to look like.

00:12:54.400 We want to reenact that.

00:12:55.640 So it would be, I mean, come on, tell me you guys wouldn't show up live to watch that.

00:13:00.860 That'd be so fucking cool.

00:13:02.160 Oh yeah.

00:13:02.700 And then we would do, we have to stay in the position for the entire podcast too.

00:13:07.120 So, but like, we're like touching on each other, but we're also completely shredded

00:13:10.880 and jacked.

00:13:11.460 So you can't, you can't call us gay because we're fucking jacked.

00:13:15.160 Like, I don't, you're not going to call, you're not going to like make fun of us because

00:13:17.780 we'll, you know, we'll rate you.

00:13:19.380 Over 50% of the show has ladies.

00:13:21.920 So the gay, the gay thing just doesn't stick.

00:13:24.080 You're like, okay.

00:13:27.720 We can't be gay.

00:13:28.820 We're married to women.

00:13:30.100 I don't know what you're talking about.

00:13:31.460 Like, okay, don't believe it.

00:13:32.800 I don't give a fuck.

00:13:34.760 No gay man has ever been married to a woman.

00:13:37.080 That's never happened.

00:13:38.000 You know, no, no beards don't exist, man, which, but if we all got super jacked and

00:13:46.000 did roids, which, and Jose's already been on roids before, all he's do is get back in

00:13:49.780 the gym again, six days a week, seven days a week, two a days, you know, and then, and

00:13:55.120 we're all blow up to over 200, 10%, 8% body fat and fucking just, I mean, best shape I've

00:14:04.300 ever been in, I was 12% body fat, that 10% is hard to do.

00:14:08.960 Yeah.

00:14:09.240 Very, very hard.

00:14:09.820 It's actually, yeah, it's, it's like ridiculous.

00:14:11.980 It's, it is one of the funniest things though, because a lot of guys say they're like 12%

00:14:16.020 or 10% and they are not fucking because it is like, it is hard to stay.

00:14:20.280 Yeah.

00:14:20.980 I mean, you gotta, you gotta be like working out aggro and watching your diet pretty solid.

00:14:25.440 I mean, unless you're one of those like ectomorphs that just has a fire ass metabolism,

00:14:30.360 but I don't have that.

00:14:31.900 So Dickie, you did not used to be 9%.

00:14:34.020 That's fucking, that's okay.

00:14:35.920 I, the only one, Tyler may have been skinny.

00:14:38.560 I don't think it was a Jack 9%.

00:14:39.980 It was just a skinny dude.

00:14:41.100 9%.

00:14:41.460 I believe Tyler.

00:14:42.320 Cause Tyler, I can believe 7% because he rides like a hundred mile bike ride.

00:14:46.280 He was a professional, uh, Dick bicycle rider.

00:14:49.460 That's what a bicycle.

00:14:52.300 That's called a seatless bicycle.

00:14:54.020 Actually, if you're under 18 and you're measuring your body fat, that doesn't count.

00:14:58.540 Like it doesn't, I mean, you have to, you barely, I was under 10% when I was 16, bro.

00:15:02.360 Yeah, I was, I was, I was a string bean.

00:15:05.900 I weighed one, I weighed like 130 going into college.

00:15:09.140 Like I wasn't like, yeah, it was probably 10% body.

00:15:12.520 I weighed, I weighed 97 pounds going into high school.

00:15:15.120 Uh, I weighed 180 coming out, but I weighed a hundred, uh, 97 fucking pounds.

00:15:19.700 I was five foot four.

00:15:20.320 Were you still like six foot tall?

00:15:22.160 No, I was five foot four.

00:15:23.080 I was a baby, baby man.

00:15:25.060 You blew up.

00:15:25.980 Whoa.

00:15:26.160 Yeah, dude.

00:15:26.880 Dude, I was, uh, dude, I was so, uh, thin when I was like eight years old.

00:15:30.620 Doctors were like extremely concerned about me, which is why, which is why I wound up going

00:15:34.700 on HGH.

00:15:36.440 That's awesome.

00:15:37.240 I knew from a pretty young age, I was fucking the height department.

00:15:40.220 So I was like, you know, I'm just gonna get fucking yoked.

00:15:43.940 Very smart, dude.

00:15:44.960 Very smart.

00:15:45.340 That's the best thing to do.

00:15:46.260 You're going to spread outward and you're going to get wider anyway.

00:15:51.060 It's going to happen.

00:15:51.760 You're either going to get fat or you're just going to like, or you get yoked and go get

00:15:54.800 wide.

00:15:54.900 What's really messed up is when a dude who's like six, seven gets jacked.

00:15:58.780 You're like, bro, come on.

00:15:59.640 You already won the lottery.

00:16:00.960 Like, don't do me like this.

00:16:03.400 You're like, holy shit.

00:16:04.460 Like Hex, Hex is in good shape.

00:16:06.060 He's six, eight or whatever the fuck he said.

00:16:07.960 That's ridiculous, dude.

00:16:09.060 He's six, eight.

00:16:10.340 Yeah.

00:16:10.640 Yeah.

00:16:10.800 That's what he said.

00:16:11.600 Oh, yeah.

00:16:12.540 But he's black.

00:16:13.140 So like we win anyway.

00:16:14.680 And then we asked him if he played basketball and he was like, did he say he played volleyball

00:16:19.680 or like something like, I think, no, no, no, he did.

00:16:23.000 No, he played like something like retarded for a black dude to play.

00:16:25.860 It's funny.

00:16:26.620 He was like lacrosse.

00:16:28.560 You guys are like, oh, he's kind of big.

00:16:30.360 I was like, eh, not really.

00:16:32.300 And then you said six, eight.

00:16:33.280 And I was like, oh, cause like, like you got to like factor in the height in there.

00:16:36.640 And you're like, oh, he grabs a two liter bottle.

00:16:39.640 It looks like that.

00:16:41.360 He had a bottle in our podcast with him.

00:16:44.680 And it literally, his, his fingers like touched like his palm when he was, when he grabbed

00:16:49.480 it.

00:16:49.820 Like, it looked like a nip.

00:16:52.400 Yeah.

00:16:52.720 It was insane.

00:16:55.140 Oh, man.

00:16:55.700 For Asians, add it to the list.

00:16:58.920 Oh, yeah.

00:16:59.460 Speaking of that, we got to talk about that.

00:17:01.420 I really think I'm sticking to the idea.

00:17:03.780 I know that some of you guys give a little bit of pushback.

00:17:05.680 I really think it shouldn't just be out and out commonly used like the offensive slurs.

00:17:10.140 I think it should be more like a, like, unless you make it like a compound word.

00:17:13.600 That's my point.

00:17:14.120 Like you can't do for our September slur tournament.

00:17:16.780 Like you can't just do straight out like nigger.

00:17:18.500 Like that's just like too boring.

00:17:20.240 And like, I don't know.

00:17:22.460 I don't know if it is.

00:17:23.420 I don't know.

00:17:23.760 I just feel like you're overdoing it.

00:17:24.980 And it's also like, it's the obvious go-to.

00:17:26.800 It'll be more fun if it's like, we get to collect like different slurs, like zipper tits.

00:17:31.600 Well, we're going to decide on this next week, but I mean, I thought it would be fair.

00:17:35.700 So let's decide right now.

00:17:38.080 Really?

00:17:39.040 Without top, without...

00:17:41.120 No, no, we don't have to put the list together, but we should decide on the rules right now.

00:17:44.620 Oh, the rules.

00:17:45.660 And I think also, I know like our whole thing is going hard.

00:17:49.900 The same time, if you want to get any guests during that period of time, we can't be like,

00:17:53.360 hey, can you evaluate?

00:17:55.220 We want you to evaluate which is cooler, nigger or kike?

00:18:01.520 So do you do me a favor and bring up Benzo Barbie's recent comment?

00:18:04.660 It is fucking funny.

00:18:06.860 This one?

00:18:08.000 I also lost weight effortlessly by being an anorexic bulimic.

00:18:11.860 That sounds like doing work to me.

00:18:14.580 No, it's not.

00:18:15.160 It's literally the best.

00:18:16.120 You get to eat whatever you want.

00:18:17.660 Well, I guess anorexic bulimic is a little bit different.

00:18:20.000 How can you be an anorexic bulimic?

00:18:21.800 You fast, and then you binge, and then you purge.

00:18:24.960 But I thought anorexics didn't even eat at all.

00:18:26.840 Yeah, no, so you're not eating anything, but you're also vomiting, so you're just dry heaving.

00:18:31.480 Yeah, so by the way, she did say she lost weight really fast, which that would do it.

00:18:35.500 I mean, it was an anorexic bulimic.

00:18:37.720 Like, that's just like.

00:18:39.260 I think she means she was doing both at different times.

00:18:41.160 Yeah, okay.

00:18:41.980 Like, maybe going back and forth.

00:18:43.060 Obviously, you can't do both at the same time.

00:18:45.240 Yeah.

00:18:45.500 Are you like starving yourself, or are you puking?

00:18:47.960 It's one of the two.

00:18:48.660 You eat a salad, you drink some water, and then you go to the bathroom and puke it all up.

00:18:53.260 Like, if you eat nothing and continually make yourself puke, you'll just die.

00:18:57.220 Yeah, I'm shocked she's alive.

00:18:59.940 But for this tournament, I do think that we shouldn't be just not going hard, though.

00:19:05.220 No, we can.

00:19:05.980 We should still go hard.

00:19:07.420 Like, I don't know if you're, like, worried we're not going to say nigger enough.

00:19:10.020 Like, it'll still.

00:19:10.700 I guarantee you'll slip them up.

00:19:11.920 I need a quota.

00:19:12.880 Listen, listen, I have a dream that we will have nigger up on the screen every episode for the month of September.

00:19:21.840 Man, quoting Martin Luther King while saying that was pretty fucking aggro.

00:19:27.160 I don't know.

00:19:28.440 I don't see any, like, that just gets into hacky, and, like, it's overdoing it.

00:19:32.760 I think it's more fun if we have creative ones, like Moon Cricket, or fucking, like, you know, what, Mayo Slathered Troglodyte, like, shit like that.

00:19:40.400 Like, those will be more fun.

00:19:41.840 Zipperhead.

00:19:42.520 Zipperhead's a great one.

00:19:43.540 Zipperhead's great.

00:19:44.620 I thought it was Zippertits.

00:19:45.940 Well, there's two different ones.

00:19:46.920 Zippertits.

00:19:47.520 Zippertits.

00:19:47.920 Zippertits.

00:19:48.840 Zippertits.

00:19:50.100 Zippertits is trans.

00:19:51.960 They're both incredibly offensive.

00:19:53.900 They go on the list.

00:19:54.500 Yeah, it's a woman who cuts her tits off.

00:19:56.780 Zippertits is, like, an early, like, in the draft, like, highest pick, like, big time.

00:20:01.340 Because it's a brand new slur.

00:20:02.680 It's really.

00:20:03.340 Brand new, yeah.

00:20:04.180 You've got to give extra credit for brand new slurs.

00:20:06.700 That's very rare to come by.

00:20:08.240 All right.

00:20:09.020 I mean, well.

00:20:10.760 Even Faggot.

00:20:11.840 Faggot's great.

00:20:12.600 But I don't think Faggot can go, I mean.

00:20:14.160 No, we can't just.

00:20:15.040 It's too reductive.

00:20:16.100 We need to.

00:20:16.580 Like, we can do, like, nigger fag.

00:20:18.380 Like, that can be one.

00:20:19.500 All right.

00:20:19.900 Like, my point being is, like, if you compound them, makes it more creative.

00:20:22.920 If you're just doing, like, the generic standard slurs, like, it's just, like.

00:20:27.040 Like, instead of just saying Faggot, you say, come dumpster, for instance.

00:20:30.720 Yeah.

00:20:31.560 We know we're all about creativity.

00:20:32.740 That's true.

00:20:33.040 Yeah.

00:20:33.240 So we'll figure it out.

00:20:36.160 So none of the generic colloquialisms.

00:20:38.240 There you go.

00:20:38.680 Getting entirely too autistic about this topic.

00:20:40.860 If we can pull up the video of the lady being attacked by a rabid fox, I'd really appreciate it.

00:20:45.360 I was wanting to bring up the video of the guy, of the one that we thought we made it a blur out.

00:20:50.860 But I just kind of want to play it anyway.

00:20:52.560 No.

00:20:53.880 No.

00:20:54.380 Okay.

00:20:54.780 Let's get it.

00:20:55.420 Let's get it.

00:20:56.060 Let's show a wiener.

00:20:57.120 I mean, it's so quick.

00:20:57.620 I don't think you could.

00:20:58.580 It's so quick.

00:20:59.420 I think we could watch it.

00:21:00.680 It's very obviously a wiener.

00:21:03.380 We won't be able.

00:21:04.600 I don't have the video ready because, yeah, I don't think we'd be able to do that.

00:21:08.340 It's in motion the entire time.

00:21:10.080 So no frame by frame would be a, like, hold up in court that that's a penis.

00:21:14.000 Let's just describe it.

00:21:15.600 Can we just describe it?

00:21:16.500 Yeah, let's just describe it.

00:21:18.100 Okay.

00:21:18.480 So it's locker room.

00:21:19.720 It's just boys being boys grabbing chicks out of the pussy.

00:21:21.780 Bring it up.

00:21:22.120 Bring it up.

00:21:22.600 It's locker room code.

00:21:23.900 Find it while we're talking about it because I want to watch it on the show.

00:21:28.280 It's so funny.

00:21:28.740 Why are you so determining this episode taking down?

00:21:30.840 We're literally trying to, like, you want to show a penis.

00:21:33.280 It won't get taken down.

00:21:33.780 It won't get taken down.

00:21:34.740 Oh, my God.

00:21:35.360 You're retarded.

00:21:35.940 It will get taken down.

00:21:37.060 I cannot believe our comment section.

00:21:37.220 If someone on a strike right now, you're fucking retarded.

00:21:40.680 Yeah.

00:21:41.280 Yeah.

00:21:41.480 We can't do that, dude.

00:21:42.780 Just put it up.

00:21:43.640 Don't pick up a deal.

00:21:44.540 Set it to, like, 240p.

00:21:46.520 Like, set it, like, really low quality.

00:21:48.240 So it just looks like a – it's just – it's blurred already.

00:21:51.260 I will describe it.

00:21:53.780 It is locker room cock.

00:21:55.660 So in this men's locker room, one dude – what does he throw, Clint?

00:21:59.700 He throws something in the air.

00:22:01.300 It looks like a piece of –

00:22:03.660 It's either a piece of gum or like a –

00:22:05.520 It's something harder.

00:22:06.720 It can't be popcorn.

00:22:07.660 It looks like a piece of gum is basically what it looks like.

00:22:10.720 Like a little –

00:22:12.020 Like a bazooka Joe.

00:22:14.360 Yeah.

00:22:14.620 All right.

00:22:14.920 Yeah.

00:22:15.160 So he basically is the pitcher here, and he pitches a piece of gum, and another dude on

00:22:20.160 the other side of the screen is at the plate, let's say, and he swings and hits it with

00:22:25.900 his dick.

00:22:27.200 Yeah.

00:22:27.500 And he's fully nude, and he just fucking boop, and he just knocks it, and he knocks

00:22:32.860 it into another guy's mouth.

00:22:34.380 And it was amazing.

00:22:35.920 And there's 10 dudes in the fucking locker room.

00:22:39.240 They're all more or less naked, and they fucking flip out.

00:22:42.120 It's just a beautiful moment of camaraderie, honestly.

00:22:44.620 It was a cool –

00:22:45.380 It was great.

00:22:46.200 And then like – and his – he had a nice piece on him, too.

00:22:49.760 It was a good piece.

00:22:51.320 Like I –

00:22:51.900 I freeze-framed it, and I sent you it.

00:22:53.660 I don't know why you guys are still describing it.

00:22:55.000 I don't think it's a massive hog, but that's a respectable cock.

00:22:58.200 No.

00:22:58.380 I'm not saying – I'm not trying to disrespect his cock.

00:23:01.120 It's just –

00:23:01.560 It's not a hog.

00:23:02.080 I think it's an eight-incher if I had to guess.

00:23:04.700 I didn't say it was a trouser snake.

00:23:06.240 I said he had a nice piece on him.

00:23:07.780 I said it was a – I don't think – I don't think my flaccid penis could hit a piece

00:23:12.140 of bubble gum like six feet away.

00:23:15.120 Like I don't think it would happen.

00:23:15.540 It depends on how hard I'm hanging that day.

00:23:17.920 Yeah.

00:23:18.240 I mean, if you try to like knead it a little bit, soften it up, get it kind of –

00:23:22.200 If I were to stretch mine out before we get going, I think I could make –

00:23:25.700 Yeah, you need a fluffer for this, okay?

00:23:27.600 All right, cool.

00:23:30.200 Well, we talked about a video.

00:23:31.340 By the way, if you want to see the video, Toad will tweet it out from the podcast account

00:23:35.820 so that everybody can see it.

00:23:37.040 Way to volunteer Toad to do something.

00:23:40.900 Toad, you have the keys to the podcast account.

00:23:43.160 I do.

00:23:43.780 It's on Twitter.

00:23:45.040 You've got to go find it because it's so fucking funny.

00:23:46.380 Didn't we already tweet it out?

00:23:47.780 No.

00:23:47.860 Did we?

00:23:49.000 Maybe.

00:23:49.400 I think we actually –

00:23:50.620 Depends on why we said it's on Twitter.

00:23:52.120 Yeah, so just go ahead.

00:23:53.180 Check the fucking TPH account.

00:23:54.980 You'll see it.

00:23:55.460 It's not that big of it.

00:23:56.360 Could you please play the rabid fox?

00:23:58.880 I'm begging you.

00:23:59.820 I have not seen this one.

00:24:01.540 Clint sent it in very late today trying to get it in.

00:24:04.380 Yeah, I haven't watched it either.

00:24:05.640 Late edition, so apparently this is very great.

00:24:08.700 Well, we'll find out together right now.

00:24:11.460 Check this out.

00:24:12.020 There's no audio, so we get to talk over it.

00:24:13.800 This is a rabid fox attacking an old woman who's outside on the phone smoking a cigarette.

00:24:17.160 Watch this, watch this, watch this, watch this shit.

00:24:21.700 Oh, wait, wait, wait for it, wait for it.

00:24:24.380 She houses this motherfucker.

00:24:28.820 Wait.

00:24:30.700 Oh, hell yeah.

00:24:31.800 Yo, he ain't done that.

00:24:32.960 He ain't done.

00:24:33.600 Here he come again.

00:24:34.940 Oh, ba-bow.

00:24:36.140 Holy shit, dude.

00:24:37.580 Wait, it gets even gnarlier.

00:24:39.040 She picks a motherfucker.

00:24:40.900 Oh, she's like whipping it.

00:24:43.740 Numbchucking that bitch.

00:24:44.720 Oh, Jesus.

00:24:48.120 He comes over here with a stick.

00:24:49.160 He's like, I'm beating up with a stick.

00:24:50.320 Bam!

00:24:50.780 Oh, yeah.

00:24:53.620 The reason I wanted to watch it.

00:24:55.080 You see, it only left when the man came.

00:24:57.480 I know, I know.

00:24:58.160 What a fucking sexist-ass fox.

00:24:59.480 I know.

00:25:00.080 I mean, it's just smart, really.

00:25:03.060 That's true.

00:25:04.080 That's true.

00:25:04.500 But the reason I brought it up, other than the fact that the video is entertaining,

00:25:07.100 because she fucking houses that fox like four times,

00:25:09.800 is it obviously begs the question,

00:25:12.600 what's the biggest wild animal we could all take?

00:25:17.160 And I've thought about this extensively.

00:25:19.320 And people always disagree with me on this,

00:25:21.440 because they always say wolves run in packs.

00:25:23.820 But I swear to God, I could fuck a wolf.

00:25:25.220 You could take a wolf.

00:25:26.120 You could take a wolf.

00:25:26.840 A single wolf, yeah.

00:25:28.060 For sure.

00:25:28.680 People always scoff, because like,

00:25:30.660 and they'll point to,

00:25:31.620 I've had this argument before,

00:25:32.660 and they'll point to be like,

00:25:33.940 well, they get up to over like 100 pounds.

00:25:35.800 And you look into it, and you're like,

00:25:36.740 yeah, in very rare cases,

00:25:38.400 most wolves are like fucking 50, 60, maybe 70 pounds.

00:25:43.520 The 100-pounders are like a very specific,

00:25:45.560 like, you know, subspecies of wolf.

00:25:48.560 And even then, they rarely don't get to that size.

00:25:50.980 And even then, a 110-pound wolf,

00:25:53.060 I think I might be able to still win,

00:25:55.220 although I don't want that fight.

00:25:56.840 I would much rather take on a wolf

00:25:59.500 than I would like a fucking Rottweiler,

00:26:01.860 or like a very, like a guard dog,

00:26:04.260 like a very, like a bread guard dog.

00:26:06.600 I would much rather take on a wolf than that.

00:26:07.640 Oh, yeah.

00:26:08.240 I remember how I got into this,

00:26:09.480 because I got some argument with somebody being like,

00:26:11.560 oh, a wolf would take any fucking modern-day dog.

00:26:13.480 And I'm like, dude, you're retarded.

00:26:14.920 Like, apparently you haven't seen dogs.

00:26:16.340 They bred dogs to take on wolves.

00:26:19.140 Like, I had some massive mutt thing,

00:26:23.020 like, and he died a few years ago,

00:26:25.120 and I call him Odin.

00:26:26.200 And the motherfucker was like 150 pounds

00:26:27.860 that he yoked out of his fucking mind.

00:26:29.620 Chill as can be, but I always was like...

00:26:31.780 And I've, like, wrestled around with him and stuff.

00:26:33.640 I'm like, I think I can take it,

00:26:34.640 but this was not a fight I would want.

00:26:36.120 And that thing could kill a fucking wolf.

00:26:37.620 I have a really logical answer to this.

00:26:40.340 If you only have one attack vector as an animal,

00:26:43.320 I'm going to fuck you to death.

00:26:44.880 I'm going to break your head off of your body.

00:26:47.340 Because if you come at me,

00:26:48.660 all you got is jaws, bro.

00:26:50.260 So all you got to do is kick, grab the head,

00:26:54.760 rip the head off.

00:26:55.520 Now, like a cat, I would be...

00:26:58.860 No, cat, cat, I'm fucked.

00:27:00.220 Like a mountain lion, like those...

00:27:02.220 Oh, with the claws?

00:27:03.460 Oh, yeah.

00:27:03.800 Those things, even though they're only usually,

00:27:05.240 I think, around, like, 80-ish pounds,

00:27:07.320 it's still, like...

00:27:08.680 But the claw is going to catch your jugular.

00:27:11.180 Yeah, dude.

00:27:12.320 Even if you win that fight,

00:27:13.880 like, you're going to be so fucky.

00:27:15.240 They also really try to take your back, too,

00:27:18.020 where you can't do anything,

00:27:19.000 where they, like, try to take your back

00:27:20.180 and they're biting your neck

00:27:21.180 and fucking clawing.

00:27:22.280 Nah.

00:27:22.840 But a wolf, maybe, like,

00:27:24.580 there's no way you can take on a bear.

00:27:26.960 Like, no one's taking on a fucking bear.

00:27:28.800 Hell no.

00:27:29.440 Oh.

00:27:29.720 It depends on the type of bear.

00:27:32.360 Could you take on...

00:27:33.520 That's true.

00:27:33.840 There are some really, like, small breeds.

00:27:35.800 Like small baby bear?

00:27:36.520 A really small brown bear.

00:27:37.620 Dead.

00:27:38.340 Dead-ass baby bear.

00:27:40.000 Yeah.

00:27:40.860 Like a black bear dude.

00:27:42.520 Like a cub.

00:27:44.120 This little cute little cub

00:27:45.380 comes trottling up.

00:27:47.180 I feel like I could fuck up a panda.

00:27:49.460 Like, you seen those fuckers?

00:27:50.800 No, they're huge, dude.

00:27:52.340 Yeah, they're strong.

00:27:53.280 They're big.

00:27:53.760 But, like, they do not move fast.

00:27:55.200 Wait a minute.

00:27:55.920 No.

00:27:56.700 Here's what...

00:27:57.380 Here's what...

00:27:58.460 How are we defining...

00:27:59.320 I am punching a panda into the moon.

00:28:01.960 How are we defining...

00:28:02.460 Could you take on a male, like, on a buck?

00:28:04.800 Could you take on a buck?

00:28:06.920 No, dude.

00:28:07.460 No, I don't know.

00:28:08.560 Yeah, that's a...

00:28:09.300 I mean, what could I do to hurt it?

00:28:10.900 I mean, it's just so enormous.

00:28:12.400 Well, again, it only has...

00:28:13.660 Well, I guess it would have two attack vectors

00:28:15.440 because it's, like, it's antlers.

00:28:16.740 It would use those to attack.

00:28:17.640 And it can buck up and use those fucking hooves.

00:28:19.620 Yeah, it's amazing.

00:28:20.500 Well, so there are multiple questions here

00:28:22.540 because, first, like, what...

00:28:24.880 How do you define winning the fight?

00:28:27.680 Do you have any weapons or are we just talking about...

00:28:29.380 Not dying.

00:28:30.520 Your bare hands.

00:28:32.200 You're alive by the end.

00:28:33.880 Not dying.

00:28:34.780 Bare hands.

00:28:35.720 Because all you have to do is defend yourself here

00:28:38.320 and can the animal be female?

00:28:42.480 What?

00:28:43.320 I think female would be way worse.

00:28:45.100 Would it be?

00:28:45.660 For what?

00:28:46.180 Yeah, 100%.

00:28:46.960 It depends on the species.

00:28:48.400 Yeah, it definitely depends on the species.

00:28:50.320 Generally speaking, the men are bigger.

00:28:52.560 Spud says that I love the idea that you were sure

00:28:54.060 a cat would take out your jugular,

00:28:55.440 but you are going to be boxing with a wolf.

00:28:57.180 I didn't say boxing.

00:28:58.280 I have legs.

00:28:59.180 You said fucking.

00:29:00.180 No, you're going to go for its neck immediately.

00:29:03.840 The point being is what you're getting at is, like,

00:29:06.060 if the cat only had the mouth,

00:29:07.920 like, it's the same idea of, like,

00:29:09.100 I just...

00:29:09.480 That's not what I got to avoid.

00:29:10.760 But with a cat, like, you have the mouth,

00:29:12.240 you have, like, fucking...

00:29:13.240 It's three attack vectors.

00:29:15.600 I'm totally fucked with a cat.

00:29:17.340 Totally fucked.

00:29:18.400 Claw, claw, mouth.

00:29:19.700 Dead.

00:29:20.200 I'm so dead.

00:29:21.160 And animals, like, you just got to grab the jaw.

00:29:23.780 Like, if you can...

00:29:26.140 Even if he does bite you,

00:29:27.220 like, say you bit your hand or some shit,

00:29:28.820 just hold on to it.

00:29:29.760 Like, once you have the head,

00:29:30.720 it's fucked.

00:29:31.220 Game over.

00:29:32.020 Like, you ain't going to be able to do shit.

00:29:33.600 By the way, like...

00:29:34.960 You take a wolf's back.

00:29:37.020 You take a wolf's back.

00:29:38.240 Good luck getting out of my rear naked choke.

00:29:40.640 Like, really, all you got to do is somehow

00:29:44.120 get a snout.

00:29:45.040 Even if you sacrifice a bite to some, like...

00:29:47.640 That's what I...

00:29:48.180 Yeah, and that's actually what they say to do

00:29:49.960 whenever a dog or, like, a wolf bites you,

00:29:51.920 is you, like, push as far fucking in there as you can

00:29:55.040 to where, like, you, like, try to...

00:29:57.360 Oh, yeah.

00:29:57.860 Remove...

00:29:58.300 I go here.

00:29:58.980 I go here.

00:29:59.800 Bite my left fist.

00:30:00.920 I'm fucking...

00:30:01.620 I'm knocking your...

00:30:02.340 I'm knocking your brain into another dimension.

00:30:04.320 I'm going for the eyes.

00:30:05.320 I'm going for the eyes.

00:30:06.120 I don't give a fuck.

00:30:06.640 I will fuck up a wolf's eye

00:30:08.420 and, like, get deep in there.

00:30:10.680 Dude, I'm going to grab skull fucking.

00:30:13.440 Fucking skull fucking.

00:30:14.740 Ugh!

00:30:16.860 Remember when you were talking about

00:30:18.060 popping pug's eyes out and skull fucking them?

00:30:20.420 You want to skull fuck the wolf, all right?

00:30:22.220 Well, I'm telling you, though,

00:30:23.320 if we all get...

00:30:23.920 If we all take steroids,

00:30:24.880 I'm ripping the jaw off a wolf, okay?

00:30:26.340 Oh, let's do this.

00:30:27.420 Fucking...

00:30:28.100 Oh, my God.

00:30:29.100 Guys.

00:30:29.300 We'll get a wolf.

00:30:31.240 Don't play with my emotions.

00:30:32.580 I am going to fucking naked fight a wolf.

00:30:35.460 Dude, you might be able to win against, like, a shark

00:30:39.160 by, like, hitting it in the nose.

00:30:40.780 You know what I mean?

00:30:41.360 I'm not fucking with a shark.

00:30:42.780 Like, I'm not...

00:30:43.200 Oh, dude.

00:30:43.900 That's not my medium.

00:30:44.840 I do not want to be in the water

00:30:46.140 by the apex predator.

00:30:47.860 How about the shark is on land?

00:30:49.240 How about if we somehow magically hit, like,

00:30:50.520 Eastland status and we could do retarded shit like this?

00:30:53.120 Like, Mike Tyson trying to fight...

00:30:54.500 Was he...

00:30:55.300 What was he trying to fight?

00:30:56.440 Was it a gorilla?

00:30:57.240 Like, I know there's a whole story about Mike Tyson...

00:30:58.460 Oh, a gorilla would be...

00:30:59.400 Fuck you up.

00:30:59.960 Well, I think Mike Tyson died.

00:31:01.360 There's a whole story where he, like,

00:31:02.580 tried to pay off some zookeeper

00:31:03.900 to let him fight a gorilla.

00:31:04.860 And the zookeeper's like, no.

00:31:05.780 Okay, hey.

00:31:07.000 A gorilla would totally fuck him up, dude.

00:31:08.880 Dude, what type of snake could you fuck up?

00:31:10.960 Like, could you fuck up all snakes?

00:31:13.600 Or would you be like...

00:31:14.400 No.

00:31:15.480 Well, mine is Venomous.

00:31:17.360 Like, Venomous, obviously.

00:31:19.360 A huge constrictor could fuck you up.

00:31:22.080 Yeah, like a constrictor.

00:31:23.620 Yeah, I don't know.

00:31:24.580 It depends.

00:31:25.460 Like, some of the bigger constrictors...

00:31:27.700 But most constrictors...

00:31:28.520 I think he said, give me a gator.

00:31:29.940 Fuck off.

00:31:30.640 Gators will fuck you up.

00:31:32.500 Like, they...

00:31:33.380 I feel like I could take a gator.

00:31:35.100 What could you do to it?

00:31:35.920 I mean, you gotta be smarter with a gator.

00:31:37.780 It's the same idea.

00:31:38.540 Have you ever seen someone wrestle a gator?

00:31:39.580 All you gotta do is, like, get around them in their back.

00:31:41.740 They're not very mobile.

00:31:43.120 They just have a mouse.

00:31:44.420 That's it.

00:31:45.140 Still single vector attack.

00:31:46.980 It depends on the medium.

00:31:48.060 Like Clint said.

00:31:48.660 Like, it would depend on...

00:31:49.420 If they were in water, you would get fucked up a gator.

00:31:51.040 Well, yeah, of course.

00:31:52.060 Yeah, you're retarded.

00:31:52.680 You don't even see it coming.

00:31:53.860 You're super fucked.

00:31:55.260 I've seen those before.

00:31:56.460 I'm like, oh, this is where the guy gets fucked up.

00:31:58.280 I think I could take a wolf in the water

00:32:01.900 and a great white on the land.

00:32:03.540 I'm pretty sure.

00:32:04.100 There you go.

00:32:05.100 By the way, are you familiar with the land shark

00:32:09.320 as a sex move?

00:32:11.980 I am not.

00:32:12.920 I'm not.

00:32:13.380 Please inform me.

00:32:14.020 So the dude has to be across the room

00:32:16.540 from where the woman is.

00:32:17.460 The woman is bent over.

00:32:19.660 And I believe you can either aim for her asshole

00:32:22.060 or her pussy, but whatever.

00:32:24.040 It's going to wind up being like a doggy style type of move.

00:32:26.380 She's bent over on the other side of the room.

00:32:27.960 The dude has to put his hands up like this,

00:32:30.280 like the fin of a shark,

00:32:32.500 and start humming the Jaws theme.

00:32:34.300 He's got a boner,

00:32:35.580 and he's got to run across the room

00:32:37.780 and land it right in her, in one of her holes.

00:32:40.620 That is, no.

00:32:41.820 That's the land shark.

00:32:42.980 That is way too, I could not.

00:32:45.020 I mean, depending on how fast I'm running,

00:32:46.620 I mean, I don't have that type of dick-eye coordination.

00:32:50.020 Like, that's what I got there.

00:32:51.020 Benzo and Barbie brought up crocs.

00:32:52.820 When I say gators, I'm not talking about crocs,

00:32:55.060 because crocs are bigger and more aggressive

00:32:57.320 and seem to be a little bit more nimble.

00:32:59.060 I wouldn't want to fuck with a crocodile.

00:33:00.480 Not like a gator.

00:33:01.480 I mean, I wouldn't want to fuck with either,

00:33:02.840 because there's a good chance you get fucked up.

00:33:04.640 I would not be one to be like,

00:33:05.660 let's go wrestle gators.

00:33:06.680 But some weird life or death situation

00:33:08.620 where I, like, had to fuck with a gator.

00:33:10.940 Like, I mean...

00:33:11.340 Oh, by the way,

00:33:12.060 the other one I could think of was a hog.

00:33:13.840 Could you take on a hog?

00:33:15.140 Ooh, those kind of things could fuck you up.

00:33:16.840 I don't know.

00:33:17.580 Yeah, yeah, I think you...

00:33:18.420 I really don't know.

00:33:19.000 Barehanded, they get nasty.

00:33:20.080 Because here's the thing.

00:33:20.900 I don't know how you would,

00:33:21.980 I don't know how...

00:33:22.500 Yeah, I don't think I could.

00:33:23.800 ...damage it.

00:33:24.500 I, I, I, if you punch it for, like...

00:33:26.140 Domesticated,

00:33:26.920 I am punting that little pink bitch.

00:33:28.720 I don't know how it would damage you, though, really.

00:33:31.680 Oh, no, do you not...

00:33:33.280 You didn't,

00:33:33.680 you weren't there to watch that video

00:33:34.880 with, um, with Tops.

00:33:36.180 They just ran shit, right?

00:33:37.700 Yeah.

00:33:38.080 Dude, they have the, uh, the fucking, uh...

00:33:40.200 They have tuss.

00:33:40.700 I know, I know we ate,

00:33:42.220 we ate wild gator.

00:33:42.680 They'll kill your ass, yeah.

00:33:43.860 They will, dude, they,

00:33:44.920 those tuss are sharp as fuck.

00:33:46.500 They were like, it was...

00:33:47.960 They're big.

00:33:48.720 It's a little gore the fuck out of you.

00:33:51.980 Like, if they get up to, like, what?

00:33:54.200 Two to four hundred pounds?

00:33:55.300 Like, they can get massive.

00:33:56.580 You know, I think, um...

00:33:57.940 I'm wondering if, like...

00:33:59.180 I don't know, could you, like...

00:34:00.180 I'm trying to think of, like,

00:34:00.920 what's a big animal that's, like,

00:34:03.340 fat and, like, not dangerous?

00:34:05.400 Like, you'd probably be able to take,

00:34:06.840 like, a manatee or something.

00:34:08.420 You'd probably be able to take that.

00:34:10.460 How about a cow?

00:34:11.540 I'm not gonna go against any water-based animals.

00:34:14.140 Like, I can't...

00:34:14.920 How about a cow?

00:34:15.880 You can just tip that shit over.

00:34:17.500 A fucking cow.

00:34:18.880 Yeah, you can probably...

00:34:19.280 A cow could fuck you up.

00:34:20.560 Like, a raging rolling.

00:34:21.980 You could fuck it up.

00:34:23.240 Have you ever, like...

00:34:24.100 Yeah, Tone, have you ever been around a cow...

00:34:25.740 Like, actual cows, though?

00:34:26.780 Like, right next to them?

00:34:27.960 Because they are a lot bigger than you think they are.

00:34:30.220 And they...

00:34:30.560 They can be mean.

00:34:32.020 Yeah, they can be mean.

00:34:32.960 And, like, their power is, like...

00:34:34.480 They will just knock you right over.

00:34:36.540 I would not fuck with a bull.

00:34:37.880 Like, usually...

00:34:38.580 Like, I've never really, like...

00:34:39.680 I never messed with, like, bulls a lot.

00:34:41.720 My grandma liked goats and, like, a donkey.

00:34:43.980 I've never fucked with, like, bulls.

00:34:44.940 But I've been around them.

00:34:45.880 I've been on the properties.

00:34:46.760 I had a Mexican and shit.

00:34:48.240 They are mean.

00:34:48.860 And, like, it seems to be most people when they handle them will use, like, stuff like

00:34:51.860 ropes or whatever.

00:34:52.980 Because, I mean, I guess sometimes the bulls can be friendly.

00:34:55.620 But usually the, like, bulls are nasty motherfuckers.

00:34:58.180 By the way, uh...

00:34:59.240 Fucking...

00:34:59.860 I forgot his name.

00:35:01.960 Sorry.

00:35:02.400 By the road to Providence.

00:35:03.160 Totally forgot your name, man.

00:35:04.420 David Brady.

00:35:05.380 Yeah, David Brady.

00:35:06.200 Sorry, David.

00:35:07.140 But he said fight a hippo.

00:35:08.560 Do not fuck with a hippo.

00:35:09.700 Not his chance.

00:35:11.240 I'm 90% sure hippos kill more people, like, yearly than almost any other animal.

00:35:17.280 Like, it's, like, legitimately...

00:35:18.580 They are, I think, the biggest man-killer on the planet.

00:35:22.040 You do not fuck with a hippo, dude.

00:35:23.900 Yeah.

00:35:24.200 They, like...

00:35:25.280 People are asking about pandas.

00:35:26.640 Besides the military industrial...

00:35:28.160 I am punting a panda to the moon.

00:35:30.380 It is dead.

00:35:31.660 They're huge, Clint.

00:35:32.980 There's no way you could...

00:35:34.040 They are pretty big.

00:35:35.060 I am kicking it into outer space.

00:35:36.800 You're wrong.

00:35:37.960 It's not, like...

00:35:39.020 I feel like I could square up with a panda.

00:35:41.600 Like, I...

00:35:41.940 Because I don't feel like they'd be able to really throw very good hands.

00:35:44.580 You know, you could get, like...

00:35:45.260 I'm telling you, that panda may not go to outer space, but it's gonna wish it had.

00:35:48.760 Because I'm gonna fuck that panda up.

00:35:49.720 Dude, those motherfuckers are, like...

00:35:50.840 They're, like, probably two, three, four hundred pounds.

00:35:53.540 Something like that.

00:35:54.160 I don't know.

00:35:54.980 They're not...

00:35:55.340 They're not even predators.

00:35:56.220 They fucking eat eucalyptus all slow and shit.

00:35:58.900 I know, but it's not like you're gonna be able to, like...

00:36:00.920 Those are cool dogs.

00:36:01.580 ...hit it so hard at fucking...

00:36:02.440 It's still a big bear skull, like...

00:36:04.680 They eat bamboo.

00:36:05.960 They eat bamboo.

00:36:06.020 They're not like you're gonna one-shot it.

00:36:07.880 They're saying wolverine or honey badger.

00:36:09.940 Those might be a little bit harder.

00:36:12.040 Because I know...

00:36:13.440 I know that the honey badger goes for the nuts.

00:36:15.360 But they're not big.

00:36:15.920 I'm not gonna lie.

00:36:17.060 I'm not really sure what either of those things are.

00:36:19.100 They're dangerous and they're not that big.

00:36:20.820 They're mean.

00:36:21.340 So, I don't know.

00:36:21.900 They're like a cat...

00:36:23.340 Like, a cat squared.

00:36:25.540 You know how, like, a cat...

00:36:26.840 Like, a little fucking...

00:36:27.960 Like, a little cat...

00:36:28.760 If it was, like, a savage little...

00:36:30.160 Even little five-pound cat...

00:36:31.820 If it's a savage, it could fuck you up to hell.

00:36:33.520 Because they're just such nimble, fast...

00:36:35.300 Like, that's the same thing with a wolverine.

00:36:36.940 It's like a cat squared.

00:36:37.960 That's the best way to put it.

00:36:38.940 Yeah.

00:36:39.120 Like, they're vicious.

00:36:40.160 And no lie.

00:36:41.100 Honey badgers legitimately go for the balls.

00:36:43.240 That is 100%.

00:36:44.200 Like, I think I could...

00:36:46.000 They're only, like, what?

00:36:47.040 Like, 5 to 15 pounds?

00:36:48.500 So, I could...

00:36:49.120 I think I could take one.

00:36:50.360 But there's, like, no way that's a fight I won.

00:36:52.260 I saw it too, Clint.

00:36:53.960 I'm freaking out.

00:36:55.120 Did I really fear it?

00:36:56.920 Dude, after...

00:36:59.160 Right after that fucking chain swung down and, like, destroyed my roof, the roof of my vehicle,

00:37:04.160 a little while after that, I almost really fucked up this, like, massive dog that must have been, like, at least 100 pounds.

00:37:11.100 I think it was a golden retriever.

00:37:13.020 This fucking woman, I guess, thought she could control this dog.

00:37:17.080 And she was...

00:37:17.700 She had her dog on leash, on, like, the sidewalk.

00:37:19.920 And the dog starts running into the street, like, pulling her.

00:37:23.140 Like, right in front of my car.

00:37:24.320 I'm like, holy shit.

00:37:25.360 I almost fucked up that fucking dog.

00:37:27.100 That would have been awful.

00:37:28.220 All right.

00:37:28.520 Back to badgers and wolverines.

00:37:32.220 No, yeah.

00:37:33.160 No, go.

00:37:33.580 All right.

00:37:33.940 Yeah.

00:37:34.140 No, they will.

00:37:34.860 That's the thing.

00:37:35.480 That was the point I'm getting at.

00:37:36.520 It's like, animals won't fuck with them, but that, like, a bear will beat a badger, like, and a wolverine every fucking time.

00:37:43.640 But it's one of those things where it's like, is it worth the fucking, like, the trouble?

00:37:47.620 Because they will fuck you up.

00:37:48.860 It's the same thing where, like, you could win a fight against a 10-pound cat that's vicious and feral, but it's going to, like, you're going to, like...

00:37:55.280 I feel like a 10-pound cat's pretty big.

00:37:56.920 Yeah.

00:37:57.180 I feel like I have to shut off the chat.

00:38:00.920 I can't, like, read it because I'm just sitting here laughing.

00:38:03.860 Oh, yeah.

00:38:04.860 That's a little funny.

00:38:05.760 Someone said bloody beavers, and the married boys know how to take on a bloody beaver.

00:38:09.220 Yeah.

00:38:10.460 No, my favorite was pandas are not real wild animals.

00:38:13.200 They are a creation of communist China genetic experiment.

00:38:16.580 Matt Robbins.

00:38:17.740 Thank you, yeah.

00:38:19.160 Also, a goat, I feel like I could take on...

00:38:21.240 Now, mountain goats, like, they're fucking...

00:38:25.500 I feel like you could because, again, they only had the one attack.

00:38:28.220 They might be a one...

00:38:32.900 I think a goat could get you.

00:38:34.580 Like, as long as you are able to initial attack be okay, whatever their initial attack, you're fine.

00:38:40.080 After that, like, because they're going to be closer to you, more...

00:38:43.060 They're not going to be able to get that speed to ram you as well.

00:38:45.600 Like, that first hit, if they don't get you, it's game over.

00:38:48.940 You're going to be able to fucking grab their horns, take on the ground, some shit like that.

00:38:51.980 Yeah, what about, like, a really large, like, gentle dog breed?

00:38:56.560 And you could just, you know...

00:38:58.800 Like a St. Bernard.

00:39:00.660 A St. Bernard.

00:39:01.640 Oh, he's dead.

00:39:02.760 Super dead.

00:39:03.440 You get the St. Bernard to love you, too, you know?

00:39:06.200 And then it's not going to do anything to you.

00:39:07.580 You totally fuck it up.

00:39:08.780 Yeah, you just trick it, and you go, you pet it on its head, and then you break its head off.

00:39:12.340 Yeah.

00:39:12.960 That makes perfect sense.

00:39:14.420 When we are fucked, we're going to get banned for animal cruelty.

00:39:17.360 Dickie's asking 20 chickens or one 200-pound chicken.

00:39:19.760 The answer is obvious.

00:39:20.740 20 chickens.

00:39:21.220 I am fucking...

00:39:21.820 I am marked up 20 chickens.

00:39:23.600 Are you kidding me?

00:39:24.020 A 20-pound chicken is a nightmare.

00:39:25.660 That's a dinosaur dog.

00:39:27.040 No, he said 20 chickens.

00:39:28.340 He said 200-pound chicken is the alternative.

00:39:30.260 Dude, yeah, I know.

00:39:31.080 That's what I'm saying.

00:39:31.500 Dude, Todd Lobson's, like, four-year-old daughter can fuck up 20 chickens.

00:39:35.200 Yeah, you can really fuck up a...

00:39:36.880 You can really fuck up a chicken.

00:39:37.840 Chickens are fucking stupid.

00:39:39.520 I mean, it would be 200 chickens or one 200-pound chicken.

00:39:43.860 Yeah.

00:39:44.320 If you're, like, 200 chickens coming after you, that would be probably pretty hard.

00:39:48.540 But one 200-pound chicken, I mean, well, because it depends.

00:39:53.420 Is it a rooster or is it just a fucking hen?

00:39:56.140 If it's just a hen, 100%, I'll take the 200-pound chicken hen.

00:39:59.300 If it's a rooster, I don't know.

00:40:01.420 Because if...

00:40:02.140 I bet a 200-pound...

00:40:03.020 A 200-pound...

00:40:03.700 I don't know why this made me giggle so hard.

00:40:06.720 I'm going to be honest.

00:40:07.620 I'm not sure that you could, Louie.

00:40:09.100 I don't know.

00:40:10.280 Oh, I didn't think about that.

00:40:11.260 Like a kangaroo?

00:40:12.180 I could have beat a kangaroo.

00:40:13.180 Oh, dude, kangaroo is a dangerous game.

00:40:15.820 Kangaroo is fucking...

00:40:16.700 Have you seen, like, the yoked kangaroos that are just, like...

00:40:20.160 They're shown to, like, farms in Australia, and they legit, like...

00:40:23.360 No, dude.

00:40:24.120 They have sharp feet, too, and that's what they use.

00:40:26.520 But it's really only a single attack vector, though, guys.

00:40:29.340 They're fucking punchy.

00:40:30.120 They fucking just pack up on their tail, and they hit you with the hindrance.

00:40:32.860 No, but they have claws, too, on their front feet, or whatever the fuck they're called.

00:40:35.820 But they're so tiny.

00:40:36.720 It's like a T-Rex, bro.

00:40:37.800 You afraid of a T-Rex's hand?

00:40:39.320 Have you seen them?

00:40:39.460 They're fucking yoked.

00:40:41.140 Yeah, the T-Rex...

00:40:43.380 You see that Australian dude fucking just KO?

00:40:45.740 Like, he was just like, what?

00:40:47.180 He just punches it, and the kangaroo's like, oh.

00:40:49.660 A T-Rex...

00:40:50.760 Yeah, he got it a hit, and it backed off.

00:40:52.800 Like, if the kangaroo was like, all right, bitch, let's go, and, like, start kicking,

00:40:56.320 I feel like it may have been a different story.

00:40:59.160 The lesson in all this is that you must strike first with a kangaroo.

00:41:03.180 If you land a solid overhand right, that bitch is not going to fight.

00:41:06.420 Oh, yeah, that's true.

00:41:07.340 It's going.

00:41:08.360 But if it gets you first, like, yeah.

00:41:09.820 Oh, if it gets in its fucking cocked up little fucking...

00:41:13.280 Oh, it'll push you right on the ground, and then it's just going to get right on top

00:41:16.040 of you.

00:41:16.120 Yeah, you're toasting.

00:41:17.000 Maybe that can you, like, sneak your way, like, into...

00:41:19.520 Like, this is a female kangaroo.

00:41:21.080 Can you, like, sneak your way into, like, her pouch or something, and she'll think that

00:41:24.620 you're, like, her child?

00:41:25.140 I feel like that's no weird, like, fetish you have to...

00:41:27.640 You can, like, kill it that way.

00:41:29.480 Dickie Walnut's brought up a walrus.

00:41:31.180 Even a walrus on land, I actually...

00:41:32.880 I don't know if I could take a walrus on land.

00:41:34.100 Those are big, mean motherfuckers.

00:41:35.940 And, like, the problem is there's such a big hulking mass, there's nothing you really

00:41:39.780 can do with it.

00:41:40.060 You can't do anything to it.

00:41:41.020 Yeah.

00:41:41.600 Like, unless you had a knife or something, but, like, I could hit it all day.

00:41:45.260 In fairness, I've never touched one of their skulls.

00:41:47.180 If I can...

00:41:47.900 If I land a solid punch, I'm not sure.

00:41:49.780 If it has a really hard skull, I probably can't KO it.

00:41:52.800 Stomping.

00:41:53.340 You know what?

00:41:54.420 You know what?

00:41:55.400 I'm willing to try.

00:41:56.600 Give me a walrus.

00:41:57.560 Can you, like, grab a walrus?

00:42:00.180 I'm going to get a crank on it and fucking...

00:42:01.940 Oh, there's no way I'm choking a walrus out.

00:42:05.100 But it can go in the water for, like, hours.

00:42:06.400 No, not choking yet.

00:42:06.420 Do like a...

00:42:07.160 What do they call...

00:42:07.720 Is it the...

00:42:08.760 It's not a guillotine.

00:42:10.480 It's, like...

00:42:11.240 It's not a...

00:42:12.020 It's the one that Khabib got Connor on.

00:42:16.620 It wasn't a choke, but he had his...

00:42:18.160 And he was cranking his neck whenever he beat him.

00:42:21.500 I don't know.

00:42:22.380 There's got to be a way to utilize his tusks.

00:42:24.280 Do some jujitsu shit.

00:42:25.260 Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.

00:42:26.180 Because it's not...

00:42:27.100 You're not taking away its oxygen.

00:42:29.860 You're actually cranking it.

00:42:30.880 So it was, like, almost like ripping its head off.

00:42:32.720 Well, dude, what have you...

00:42:34.100 I'm not capable of ripping a walrus's head off, are you?

00:42:38.840 No!

00:42:40.680 Oh, wait, dude.

00:42:42.720 Can't you, like, rip its tusk off and then, like, impale it with it?

00:42:46.060 Oh, that's what I would do.

00:42:46.960 I would rip its tusk off and go straight for the ice.

00:42:48.940 I feel like it's going to be really hard to break a tusk.

00:42:52.000 You always see that in, like, shows and shit.

00:42:54.020 They, like, break a bone or, like, a tusk off some animal.

00:42:57.100 But it's, like, in real life, you'd be like, what the...

00:42:59.620 Come on, motherfuckers!

00:43:00.600 What about, like, one of those huge lizards?

00:43:04.720 You see, there was, like, a story, like, not too long ago where this, like, group of

00:43:07.760 dudes, like, gang-bang some, like, huge lizard to death.

00:43:10.940 You see it?

00:43:12.640 I'm sure I could take it in the part of it.

00:43:15.720 They finally got our revenge on Komodo dragons, those evil bats.

00:43:18.740 Yeah, it was...

00:43:19.540 I think it was a monitor lizard.

00:43:21.160 I have to address this because David Brady is bringing up geese, or goose, if you will.

00:43:24.920 I was attacked by a goose when I was five years old, and I carry a vendetta that will

00:43:31.840 last a lifetime against all geese.

00:43:33.860 I will fuck geese up, because now I am big, and you are tiny.

00:43:38.380 When I was tiny and you were big, I was fucked.

00:43:41.400 But it's...

00:43:42.360 The game has changed, motherfuckers.

00:43:44.660 Dude, geese are a nuisance, and honestly, I don't see any, like...

00:43:48.680 People are like, hey, mosquitoes give no...

00:43:50.860 Like, they just...

00:43:52.180 They literally have no positive value to the ecosystem.

00:43:56.140 I think that's geese.

00:43:57.220 There's nothing that geese give to the ecosystem that they need to be living.

00:44:01.660 Like, I mean...

00:44:02.260 Fuck.

00:44:02.700 When I was a kid, we don't need geese.

00:44:04.360 We have ducks.

00:44:04.660 I was feeding the fucking geese...

00:44:06.360 I was feeding the ducks and geese bread when I was five years old.

00:44:09.140 Bitch comes up to me, bites the fuck out of my finger, and then chases me around.

00:44:13.100 I'm telling you, if I see a geese today, a goose today, and it fucks with me like that,

00:44:16.640 I'm literally like a whole pack of geese.

00:44:18.600 I'm just fucking taking them one at a time, head off.

00:44:21.540 Head off.

00:44:22.140 No, no, you know what you should do, Clint?

00:44:23.580 You know what you should do?

00:44:24.300 I'm killing an entire pack of geese, whatever you call it.

00:44:26.520 No, did you say you should fuck the geese?

00:44:28.300 I'm not swearing.

00:44:28.960 No, no, no, no.

00:44:29.620 You should give them...

00:44:30.220 Right by the necks, and I'm chucking them around.

00:44:32.220 No, you should give them, like, the entire, like, loaf of bread.

00:44:36.000 Give them a shit ton of bread, which they won't stop eating.

00:44:39.040 They'll eat so much bread that they will just explode themselves to death.

00:44:42.160 No, perfect plan.

00:44:43.280 I grab the first two geese by their heads, use them as nunchucks to take out the rest

00:44:47.540 of them.

00:44:47.920 I think Jose nailed it.

00:44:48.980 That's the perfect plan.

00:44:50.320 All right.

00:44:51.040 The only thing I had ever experienced when I was younger was I got spit on by llamas,

00:44:55.680 which was really...

00:44:56.640 That was a very...

00:44:57.980 Because they fucking spit, dude.

00:44:59.240 And they spit right in my fucking face.

00:45:00.480 I'm really not worried about spit, dude.

00:45:02.160 We're fucking fighting to death.

00:45:03.260 You worried about getting messy?

00:45:05.200 No, but, like, a llama...

00:45:06.400 I don't think I can take on a llama.

00:45:07.860 I mean, maybe.

00:45:08.640 They do have a pretty long neck, so you probably...

00:45:10.820 If you get the neck on that thing, I feel like you can take it off.

00:45:13.560 I'm surprised I don't have any good stories getting, like, fucked with by wildlife.

00:45:17.840 Because I was definitely around it enough, but I would, like...

00:45:20.740 I don't know.

00:45:21.100 Growing up, me and my, like, fucking redneck little fucking cousins would go, like, torture

00:45:24.600 small animals that, like, rednecks do and shit.

00:45:28.880 That's what serial killers do.

00:45:31.120 Yeah, yeah.

00:45:32.040 No, it's only, like, frogs and stuff, so it's okay.

00:45:34.800 Dickie claims I can't take a 200-pound sheep.

00:45:37.660 Which, by the way, I wish there was a more singular word for a sheep, like a shoop or

00:45:41.120 something.

00:45:42.740 It's very confusing.

00:45:43.880 I don't know if that's true.

00:45:44.800 I've never fucked with a sheep.

00:45:46.280 I don't know.

00:45:46.880 I've seen some of those.

00:45:47.880 I think you were talking about it.

00:45:48.700 I actually think you might have a point there.

00:45:49.860 Those things are big and fucking strong.

00:45:51.440 They're like rams and shit.

00:45:52.920 Like, yeah, those are tough.

00:45:54.140 And that fucking wool would be some...

00:45:56.080 Here's the thing, though.

00:45:57.860 I think with any mammal like that, you just go for the eyes enough to where they legit,

00:46:02.820 like, literally just, like...

00:46:03.940 Is that your only go-to?

00:46:05.120 Yeah, just eyes...

00:46:07.120 Because it is the most...

00:46:08.400 I mean, if they don't really have a weakness, you can't, like, grab their neck.

00:46:12.380 You couldn't just, like...

00:46:12.840 What about the balls?

00:46:14.220 I mean, that would be the other...

00:46:15.180 But I think the eyes are way more vulnerable than the balls.

00:46:18.500 I mean, I don't think...

00:46:19.340 See, I think the thing is, if I have a knife, just a knife...

00:46:22.540 Oh, you can take down a knife.

00:46:23.540 Now it opens up an entire world of animals that I can massacre and street fight.

00:46:26.800 Oh, yeah, dude.

00:46:27.560 I can go down.

00:46:29.160 I think with a knife...

00:46:30.120 I feel like, sub-bear level with, like...

00:46:32.240 I was about to say...

00:46:33.340 I feel like you have...

00:46:35.640 I feel like with a knife, you could have a...

00:46:37.380 Like, there would be a fighting chance against a bear.

00:46:39.680 You would have, like...

00:46:40.780 You would have...

00:46:41.340 You're probably wouldn't win.

00:46:42.320 No.

00:46:42.780 You're getting killed.

00:46:43.600 You would have a chance.

00:46:44.780 With a weapon.

00:46:46.120 I guess, like, a black bear.

00:46:48.000 Yeah, you got a chance.

00:46:49.020 But you got a chance of, like, 1%.

00:46:51.180 Like, you gotta get real lucky.

00:46:52.980 You would have to...

00:46:53.560 It would literally be...

00:46:54.620 Like, you would come out looking like Leonardo DiCaprio from...

00:46:56.440 Maybe if I had, like, a katana in years of training.

00:46:59.000 Yeah.

00:46:59.700 Cole is just imagining himself being the revenant, and...

00:47:03.600 Yeah, if you...

00:47:04.160 That would be the only...

00:47:05.540 You would come out fucked up.

00:47:07.340 Like, you would be absolutely fucked up.

00:47:08.880 But, I mean, I feel like if you get the neck just good enough to where you can grip a couple arteries out or whatever...

00:47:14.360 Like, we sound like we're full of ourselves with all the animals we think we can kill, but we gotta keep in mind, we're also not saying that we're like, oh, we would one-shot this bitch and, like, walk off.

00:47:22.540 No, I wouldn't get fucked up.

00:47:25.420 The geese, I feel that way.

00:47:26.760 I would absolutely one-shot every geese.

00:47:28.440 Also, it does...

00:47:29.460 Junkie Jess said it doesn't matter what knife we're talking about.

00:47:32.060 Yeah, if I have, like, a fucking pocket knife, I don't take it on a bear.

00:47:35.280 Like, if I had, like, a Bowie knife, like, an actual, like, fucking 8-inch Bowie knife or something like shit like that, maybe.

00:47:41.860 Yeah, I think even a knife, you're fucked, dude.

00:47:43.800 They're so strong, and they have knives for hands, like...

00:47:47.340 Yeah.

00:47:47.980 Which animal are we talking about?

00:47:50.060 Huh?

00:47:50.340 What?

00:47:50.920 Which animal?

00:47:51.980 A bear.

00:47:52.360 You're not taking a bear.

00:47:54.480 Unless that's a sword, and even then, I'd have to train with it, like...

00:47:58.700 If it's one of the smaller types of bears that aren't threats, you can handle a chimp in a 7-Eleven with a knife.

00:48:04.000 I can kill black guys in 7-Eleven all day long, baby.

00:48:13.740 Line them up, one by one, knock them down.

00:48:16.580 Oh, I thought the chimp...

00:48:19.020 I thought the chimp...

00:48:19.580 It's gonna look like that video of the dude that did get stabbed.

00:48:22.440 You need to pull this episode down immediately after we're done recording.

00:48:25.360 I thought the chimp is the Indian clerk, actually, no?

00:48:29.780 By the way, it's like...

00:48:30.660 This is like if Joe Rogan leaned into it and really committed.

00:48:33.540 This is the one thing we all know about.

00:48:35.760 I like that we're getting into birds a little bit, though, quickly, because, like, some of these birds, like birds of prey, can really fuck you up.

00:48:41.600 Like, the wife that died in the staircase, I'm, like, pretty convinced that she was killed by an owl.

00:48:47.680 I'm not joking.

00:48:48.920 I know you think that, but I would fuck an owl up.

00:48:51.160 Dude, I...

00:48:52.040 Put an owl up.

00:48:52.360 Maybe Peterson didn't do it.

00:48:53.980 I don't know.

00:48:54.460 Owls are pretty goddamn...

00:48:55.540 They are...

00:48:56.660 You see them in person, you're like, holy fuck, that thing is scary as shit.

00:48:59.980 Like, I remember one time I was stoned off my ass out in my front yard in the middle of the night.

00:49:03.580 And, motherfucker, I was just walking around and I heard it.

00:49:05.960 It was, like, probably 10 feet above me in the street.

00:49:07.780 And, like, the fucking big-ass eyes and big bitch and, like, oh, man, he'll fuck me up.

00:49:12.060 I'll tell you, the hardest thing about an owl in a fight would be that you'd have to crank its head around, like, two and a half times.

00:49:19.820 Because that bitch is just like...

00:49:21.000 It's like, this is no problem.

00:49:22.680 I'm like, come on!

00:49:24.120 Die!

00:49:24.800 I mean, you could have a hold of an owl.

00:49:26.100 I'll be catching it.

00:49:26.640 I just don't think you could...

00:49:27.780 Because it'd be flying around and, like, coming down.

00:49:29.860 Like, now...

00:49:30.580 Yeah, it would...

00:49:31.160 I mean, I just think it would be afraid because they would go for, like...

00:49:34.460 They would also go for eyes.

00:49:35.860 I feel like they would also, like, try to hit, like...

00:49:37.440 Oh, yeah, they know to go for the eyes.

00:49:38.540 I mean, but...

00:49:40.300 I mean, you have to give us a knife in that situation.

00:49:43.180 Because they have the fucking aerial attack vector plus...

00:49:46.120 Yeah, I could take an owl with a knife.

00:49:47.820 I honestly think most people could.

00:49:49.860 I think, but, yeah, you're going to the hospital.

00:49:51.780 You're going to have a bad time.

00:49:52.900 Oh, yeah, for sure.

00:49:53.620 But, like, if it attacks you, especially if you know, you get a hold of it, game over.

00:49:57.560 Like, you're just slamming to the ground at that point.

00:49:59.420 Like, you're just done.

00:50:00.360 I would basically put my hand up and be like, hey, grab this bitch.

00:50:04.500 Grab a bite of the beat.

00:50:05.720 Just powerbomb it.

00:50:07.340 Yeah, you're probably still going to need stitches and be bleeding to shit.

00:50:11.680 Oh, yeah.

00:50:12.640 I'm going to the ER, but it's going to the morgue.

00:50:14.500 I promise you.

00:50:16.500 I'm cooking that shit up.

00:50:17.620 I don't care.

00:50:18.160 Oh, by the way, if I do kill any of these animals, I'm eating them also.

00:50:22.100 I will 100% butcher any of these animals.

00:50:24.740 If we ever get to e-celeb status, we're going to fight exotic animals and eat them.

00:50:28.340 Well, we're also dropping.

00:50:31.020 A second that I said that we're sending an owl to the morgue.

00:50:33.400 Dude, we're also dropping elephants in the ocean, so it's all good.

00:50:38.560 That's true.

00:50:38.980 Oh, yeah.

00:50:39.740 Got it.

00:50:40.080 That's a callback.

00:50:41.480 He bawled, you bitch.

00:50:42.720 Yeah, I'm all about the callbacks.

00:50:46.160 Anyway, we do have another video here if we wanted to get into that.

00:50:49.500 Oh, by the way, I forgot.

00:50:50.940 I do.

00:50:52.000 Y'all have all seen that video of the guy getting stabbed in the fucking mall and bleeding

00:50:57.320 out in literally seconds.

00:50:58.340 Oh, the neck where he gets stabbed in the neck?

00:50:59.480 Yeah.

00:50:59.780 I didn't watch it, man.

00:51:01.200 I did not watch it.

00:51:02.660 He dies in like five seconds.

00:51:04.440 It literally is like that.

00:51:05.680 And it's so crazy because he's like, oh, you stabbed me, dude.

00:51:08.340 And then he's just like.

00:51:09.800 Is this fucked up?

00:51:12.580 Everyone's immediate reaction was like, oh, my God, that's tragic.

00:51:15.620 And I was like, eh, fuck him.

00:51:18.100 Yeah, you're like, you're definitely tragic.

00:51:19.560 Why would you ever go against a guy with a knife?

00:51:21.800 Yeah.

00:51:22.820 Which they brought up the whole.

00:51:24.140 I think we had the argument in the chat.

00:51:26.300 I don't know if we ever talked about it on the show.

00:51:27.760 His genetics do not need to be passed on.

00:51:30.940 You know, the one I like, though, is the kid in the vape shop where there's two kids

00:51:35.480 with masks that come in.

00:51:36.380 One of them just grabs some shit and he cuts out.

00:51:38.420 And the other one jumps over the glass case.

00:51:41.980 And then the little Asian dude just fucking jacks him with a knife like five times.

00:51:45.000 And he goes, no, no, I'm dead.

00:51:47.400 I'm dead.

00:51:47.920 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:51:48.660 Can you imagine your last words being, I'm dead?

00:51:52.580 It's like a modern day Shakespearean play.

00:51:55.120 By the way, didn't we have an argument about which would be better, a knife or a gun in

00:52:00.000 that situation?

00:52:01.380 It depends.

00:52:02.680 Like, the closer you get, the more advantageous it is to have a knife.

00:52:05.840 And it was like 20 feet, wasn't it?

00:52:09.340 It was like a legit.

00:52:10.600 If you're going by like Mythbusters, I think it was something like that.

00:52:14.040 It was like 20 feet.

00:52:14.940 Like, you would be better off with a knife than a gun.

00:52:17.160 Yeah, within 10 feet?

00:52:18.320 Like, I think you're retarded if you're arguing for a gun at that point.

00:52:20.740 Within 10 feet.

00:52:21.620 There are arguments that 20, past 20, like, I don't know.

00:52:25.720 It depends.

00:52:26.220 Oh, 20, I would rather have a gun.

00:52:28.240 But it was like 20 and closer.

00:52:30.340 It was like a knife.

00:52:31.600 You really does.

00:52:32.380 But, I mean, and that's the thing is like one, like basically, also, I would much rather

00:52:38.100 be shot than stabbed.

00:52:39.900 Yeah.

00:52:41.000 Yeah.

00:52:41.520 Well, see, the other thing about this hypothetical is that if someone's charging at you from

00:52:47.040 20 feet with a knife and you draw, like as you're drawing, homeboy's going to rethink

00:52:51.800 his entire plan, I would imagine.

00:52:53.980 I mean, unless he's fucking drugged up.

00:52:55.660 I don't know.

00:52:55.840 I don't know if I'm coming towards you, like 20 feet away, and then you start to draw,

00:53:03.020 and I'm at 10 feet, I'm not going to stop.

00:53:05.120 I guess that's true.

00:53:06.140 I wouldn't be like rethinking and be like, ah, I don't know about this one.

00:53:10.100 I guess once you commit, you commit.

00:53:11.480 Do or die, bro.

00:53:12.460 There could be a split.

00:53:13.600 Oh, shit.

00:53:14.200 Oh, shit.

00:53:14.620 Yeah.

00:53:14.880 He's still going to shoot, like, because he's already going, thinking, I'm shooting right

00:53:19.020 when I get this thing.

00:53:19.460 Yeah.

00:53:19.680 If you're going to do that, you got to commit.

00:53:21.200 So, I guess it depends on how, like, I don't know.

00:53:22.920 It depends.

00:53:23.460 People have different mindsets.

00:53:24.600 Like, a winner's mindset just commits.

00:53:27.180 You know, like, or if you're, like, so, you know what?

00:53:29.620 Like, I'm good with it.

00:53:31.700 You fucking loser murderers don't commit, okay?

00:53:34.580 Yeah.

00:53:34.840 We're winner murderers.

00:53:35.700 For real.

00:53:36.940 I just go Black Mamba mode.

00:53:38.640 I'm like, I'm committed, bro.

00:53:39.620 I've been training for this.

00:53:41.400 And again, like, again, I would much, also, I feel like if you still got shot in that situation,

00:53:45.860 I still feel like you could also get a knife, like a slash, towards something way more vital

00:53:52.500 than where the gun, maybe a gunshot can get to.

00:53:54.920 What if you're really good at throwing the knife?

00:53:57.560 That doesn't, it doesn't fucking work.

00:53:58.500 Does that change anything?

00:53:59.480 No.

00:53:59.880 It doesn't fucking work.

00:54:00.660 That's just a shitty gun, essentially.

00:54:04.020 You better be really good at throwing that knife, because that's your only weapon, and

00:54:07.700 I'm drawing a gun right now.

00:54:08.640 It's like, I'm throwing it away.

00:54:10.920 And it hits me with the back end of the knife, and I'm like, oh, nigga, you, you, you, you,

00:54:15.120 throwing knives have very little practical application.

00:54:20.300 I'm, I'm so good with, I will use the knife to deflect your bullet, sir.

00:54:24.080 Also, also, it would be very, like, if you had two people standing 20 feet apart, one

00:54:27.800 had a knife, was a knife thrown, the other was, like, had a gun.

00:54:30.920 I would be like, I'm, okay, I'm, I think I'm good.

00:54:33.220 I'm gonna go.

00:54:33.640 The only thing I can see in knife.

00:54:34.920 But you can't run and throw a knife.

00:54:36.220 I don't think it would work like that.

00:54:37.260 I think the only advantage knife throwing has is, like, the element surprise, because

00:54:41.620 if someone pulls out a knife, and they throw it at you, like, you did not expect that.

00:54:45.500 So that, that, that's probably the best practical application.

00:54:47.100 Also, I feel like if someone throws a knife at you, they also probably have a second knife.

00:54:51.180 So they would throw it, no one's surprised.

00:54:53.220 They're just throwing it at you with the other.

00:54:54.140 Let's be honest, we haven't even considered shurikens here.

00:54:57.800 You got shurikens.

00:54:58.900 Oh, that's true.

00:54:59.680 That's a whole new thing.

00:55:00.400 Dude, if a guy throws a shurikens at you, he, he really, I mean.

00:55:04.840 You gotta hit me with, like, you gotta hit me with a grip of shurikens.

00:55:07.260 Shurikens, or have fucking eagle eye aim.

00:55:09.800 That's, like, psychological warfare, too, once you start getting a creative weaponry.

00:55:13.800 Because if, if someone's throwing a shuriken at me, I'm like, ninja!

00:55:17.040 I'm immediately, like, oh my god, what weird, like, you know, shit have I stepped in.

00:55:21.600 Dude, it's, it's warrior technology, man.

00:55:23.740 Yeah, that he, he fucking brings out, like, those weird, like, uh, Indian things that,

00:55:28.340 like, there were gloves that had knives on the end.

00:55:30.540 He, like, fucking starts running at you with that.

00:55:32.140 It's like, he starts bringing out weird weaponry from, I don't know, like, Deadliest Warrior,

00:55:36.240 which, by the way, great show.

00:55:37.800 I don't know if you ever watched that.

00:55:39.480 We have people admitting to felonies in our chat right now.

00:55:43.020 And so Barbie's like, whoa, shit, I stabbed someone, but I've never shot anyone.

00:55:47.780 Oh, yeah.

00:55:50.020 Let's not bring that up in the chat.

00:55:51.720 Yeah, as if we haven't already been banned infinitely for this episode.

00:55:56.840 By the way, did you, did you, did you, did you all used to watch, like, Spike TV?

00:56:00.580 Was that everything?

00:56:01.300 Oh, yeah.

00:56:02.100 Absolutely.

00:56:02.460 Hell yeah, dude.

00:56:03.060 Everything on Spike TV was fucking awesome.

00:56:04.480 Yeah, most extreme elimination challenge and shit.

00:56:07.560 Yeah, I never watched that.

00:56:08.680 I always watched, it was A Thousand Ways to Die.

00:56:10.900 Really?

00:56:11.580 Mansers.

00:56:14.260 Deadliest Warrior.

00:56:15.220 Did they have a man show in there, or was that a different channel?

00:56:17.500 That was Comedy, Comedy Central.

00:56:19.040 The guy code one?

00:56:22.360 Guy code's cool, yeah.

00:56:23.360 Toad, we're running out of energy on the animal pursuit.

00:56:26.300 Oh, yeah.

00:56:26.780 What else we got?

00:56:27.800 We had another video.

00:56:28.640 That last one.

00:56:29.180 Well, this is animal related, I guess, because we're talking about what I was calling cat dicking,

00:56:35.060 which is actually Jose's business.

00:56:38.220 I guess this is actually called dick fishing.

00:56:41.720 So we can watch this video here and discuss.

00:56:45.820 Let's get this going here.

00:56:47.020 This is one of Ashton's friends, by the way, so.

00:56:49.980 Oh, is it?

00:56:50.880 Yeah.

00:56:51.580 Oh, yeah.

00:56:52.540 Oh, yeah.

00:56:52.980 All right.

00:56:53.200 Brittany Venti, yeah.

00:56:54.300 Literally everybody on the internet, you can say.

00:56:55.880 I don't know about catfishing.

00:56:57.440 You know, men are like, take them into the pool on the first date, et cetera.

00:57:00.620 But can we talk about dick fishing?

00:57:03.620 These men will have you out on six dates.

00:57:06.840 She has fetal alcohol syndrome.

00:57:08.140 Come on.

00:57:08.940 Come on.

00:57:10.100 Not solid.

00:57:11.800 Only to find out that they have a small penis.

00:57:15.260 I would argue that that is way worse than putting on some makeup.

00:57:19.880 Because you will have to physically feel that consequence every single time you're intimate with that person.

00:57:25.960 By the time you find out they have a small penis, guess what?

00:57:31.540 You're too invested.

00:57:33.140 It's too late.

00:57:34.540 Now you have to deal with the consequence of the small penis because he lied by a mention.

00:57:39.160 The world would be a better place.

00:57:41.080 Men openly told women when they had a small penis earlier on.

00:57:45.660 Then there would be so many women in unhappy relationships acting out.

00:57:49.940 All right.

00:57:50.140 I'm glad you're getting some dick, bitch.

00:57:52.580 Like, Jesus.

00:57:54.180 I got to say, the logic doesn't follow because you just make the argument of why a man should lie about it.

00:58:00.140 Like, hey, we don't like your little dick.

00:58:02.360 Stop lying to us about it.

00:58:03.400 And you're like, well, I'm...

00:58:04.820 Here, I'll make you a trade.

00:58:06.800 I'll make you a trade.

00:58:07.580 I'll wear a t-shirt with the size of my dick, but you have to stop wearing makeup.

00:58:10.720 You're going to take that trade, women?

00:58:11.920 I doubt it.

00:58:14.940 That would be great, though.

00:58:16.100 Like, it's just to be like, well, yeah, okay.

00:58:18.180 No, it's just to be...

00:58:19.020 What you do, just make every first date go to a fucking...

00:58:22.560 The beach or go to, like, something with water where they can't wear makeup and where your dick is going to be mostly able to be seen.

00:58:30.820 You know, like, with swim trunks, I mean, you're...

00:58:34.900 I mean, there's only a thin piece of cloth between you and the person.

00:58:38.320 You can make your dick look good with a well-selected swimsuit.

00:58:40.680 I was going to say, you know, you've got to go first date banana hammock.

00:58:43.460 That's the only way it's fit.

00:58:44.700 Exactly.

00:58:45.500 Exactly.

00:58:46.100 For both parties, by the way.

00:58:49.340 Both parties have to wear the banana hammock, too.

00:58:50.920 It's not just the guys.

00:58:51.960 It's going to be...

00:58:53.680 But, I mean, I don't...

00:58:55.400 Yeah, I don't...

00:58:56.900 I have no problem with this.

00:58:58.520 If women...

00:58:59.260 But how many women are...

00:59:00.100 The crazy thing is that girls like her undoubtedly get sent a thousand dick pics by dudes, and every time they see it, they're like, fucking creep.

00:59:07.740 And they hang up, it's like, he's just warning you.

00:59:09.960 This is what he's got.

00:59:11.500 Yeah, exactly.

00:59:12.580 Like, I'm just going to show you my dick when I first meet you.

00:59:15.600 Like, what's the problem?

00:59:16.580 Yeah, how...

00:59:17.200 I don't understand...

00:59:18.160 If we're sending dick pics, why would we not give the best angle so that our dick looks the best it can?

00:59:23.820 Like, you're not...

00:59:24.600 I mean, I'm pretty sure these women are also sending nudes, like, where they're fucking just hunched over.

00:59:29.600 No, all my dick pics, I include a ruler adjacent to my dick pics.

00:59:33.640 I also don't understand in modern day...

00:59:37.080 Like, I understand if it's just, like, a Tinder hookup thing, or whatever, like, it's just a hookup.

00:59:41.580 Like, but if you're, like, doing the relationship thing, trying to talk, date, whatever, like, I feel like they've seen your dick before you fuck.

00:59:49.460 Like...

00:59:50.100 Yeah, I agree.

00:59:50.860 No, no.

00:59:51.600 No?

00:59:51.880 You don't think so?

00:59:52.520 I think so.

00:59:53.080 Okay, I don't know, maybe you're of an older breed, Clint, but I mean, even me, like, I...

00:59:58.340 Dude, I dated on Tinder more than you, I bet.

01:00:01.000 Dude, I'm basically that old, right?

01:00:02.400 I kind of agree with you.

01:00:03.260 I'm just saying, you probably have older sensibilities than that.

01:00:05.820 Like, you know, like, I graduated in 2009, and, like, I got married not too much longer after, but I had a period of time, and, like, in dating, you would, like, your dick, you would show your dick pics.

01:00:17.100 Like, it's just a thing.

01:00:18.620 And I feel like, usually, you would do it before you'd fuck.

01:00:21.360 Yeah, but also...

01:00:22.080 Well, hold on, hold on.

01:00:22.780 Catching45 says, I sell 85% scale rulers.

01:00:29.580 Oh, I'm pushing nine today.

01:00:35.300 That's king shit.

01:00:36.280 Put, like, a fucking, like, a fucked up ruler next to a little dick.

01:00:40.140 My wife's in the chat and said, back in Clint's day, had to develop nudes and send them in the mail.

01:00:44.880 Yeah, shake it like a Polaroid, man.

01:00:47.600 No, I was in the OG early days of Tinder, and that was the Wild West, man.

01:00:52.620 Yeah, I was already married with Tinder.

01:00:53.760 But are you sending dick pics on Tinder?

01:00:55.700 No, I never sent dick pics.

01:00:56.880 No, but did people actually send, like, nudes, like, be like, hey, let's meet up?

01:01:00.100 Oh, girls sent me nudes all the fucking time.

01:01:02.620 Yeah.

01:01:02.880 That's so weird.

01:01:03.380 All the time.

01:01:03.740 I mean, I guess, like, because that's my first thought was, like, are you, because this, her whole argument would be, like, predicated on she is asking for a dick pic before they go and meet, before they have sex, and then she gets it, and it looks good.

01:01:22.040 And then, so, like, there's a whole, there's a whole long, like, just don't ask for dick pics, and then you don't want to get, you won't get dick, uh, whatever.

01:01:29.060 Yeah, but what if you want to do, what if you want to, what if you want to do something, like, take, like, a bad angle picture of your dick so it looks a little bit smaller than it actually is, so that she's pleasantly surprised when she sees it in real life.

01:01:40.080 Yeah, under promise, over deliver.

01:01:41.900 Exactly.

01:01:42.080 Then you will not get that date, I assure you.

01:01:43.920 Oh, that's true.

01:01:44.580 Here's my little Brett Favre angled tiny limp dick.

01:01:48.060 Check it out, you want to hang out?

01:01:49.600 Yeah, I mean, you don't send, I actually do fervently agree that the, like, in, like, the way you should sell it, like, you should tell a woman, I used to do it all the time, you should tell chicks I had a small dick, because no woman believes you when you say that.

01:02:01.660 If you out and out and say, yeah, it's not that big, whatever, it's not that special.

01:02:04.660 Like, I mean, don't be like, it's so tiny, be crazy, but I'd be like, yeah, it's not that big.

01:02:07.820 I have a micro penis.

01:02:09.140 Yeah, like, you don't even feel it.

01:02:10.820 Don't go that far into it.

01:02:11.940 I'm like, yeah, whatever, it's average, you know, kind of small.

01:02:14.640 Whatever.

01:02:15.220 And, like, don't flex about how big your dick is or any of that, because if you do, like, the people who flex about it, the chicks, I feel like, usually, like, he's probably got a little dick.

01:02:22.260 And if you, like, if you, if you fucking act like you have a small dick, or not act like it, but you say it or whatever, then when they see it, they're like, oh, that's average.

01:02:29.760 They're like, okay, cool.

01:02:30.740 And also, like, projects like you don't, you're not insecure.

01:02:33.780 No, so what you got to do is you got to go back and watch Blue Mountain State.

01:02:36.520 They had a whole fucking episode on taking dick pics.

01:02:39.680 What you do is you get out your best, like, you either get some type of gold watch,

01:02:43.920 and then you fucking put that thing on, and you get the right angle with the right lighting with the gold watch in the background.

01:02:50.220 Don't do face in it.

01:02:51.080 You never do face in it.

01:02:51.640 No, no face.

01:02:52.580 No, you cannot have face in it.

01:02:53.800 That's the carnal rule there.

01:02:55.200 You never do it.

01:02:55.440 No face.

01:02:56.120 And I'm pretty sure he said no balls, too.

01:02:57.780 You're not supposed to show balls in here.

01:02:58.520 Yeah, you want to get the balls out of the front.

01:02:59.740 Right, right.

01:03:00.120 Yeah, because, yeah, especially if you have big balls.

01:03:02.240 Balls are the, I mean, just the ugliest part of the dick.

01:03:05.120 If you have big balls, it's going to make your dick look...

01:03:08.040 It's going to make your dick look...

01:03:09.620 Tater tot balls.

01:03:11.540 Cylinders.

01:03:12.200 You kind of go around towards the base.

01:03:14.900 That way you can kind of create an illusion, because part of the, like, the root is, like, you're, you know...

01:03:19.360 So it looks like you're holding the whole thing, and then you're still a cock ring, basically.

01:03:22.600 So it's, like, filling up with blood, so it's a lot thicker.

01:03:26.480 No, so, yeah, you don't want the balls in it, because if you have huge balls, then it'll make your dick look smaller by comparison.

01:03:32.480 That's the issue.

01:03:33.200 Now, should you also...

01:03:34.380 If you have a big dick and you have big balls, it'll be all right.

01:03:37.820 No, no, no, no.

01:03:39.020 Would you want...

01:03:39.620 Do you want to get all the way 100% rock hard?

01:03:42.640 Or do you want to have something like...

01:03:44.580 I'll tell you, the most impressive dick pic that I can take and send to all of you after the show's over is, like, jerk until you...

01:03:52.580 Get hard, wait for that thing to just drop, just till it drops.

01:03:56.320 Just till it drops.

01:03:57.980 And then take that picture, I'm telling you, you're dick looks super impressive.

01:04:01.160 See, I disagree.

01:04:01.780 That's what I feel like, yeah.

01:04:02.680 I disagree.

01:04:03.240 I think you should take the pic, like, right before you come, when it's, like, the most engorged.

01:04:07.460 No, no, because I think if it's too hard, it doesn't...

01:04:11.200 Really?

01:04:11.400 There's something about, like...

01:04:12.620 Let me explain.

01:04:13.260 Let me explain.

01:04:13.760 Because if it is hanging, there's the potential that it gets bigger when it's erect.

01:04:17.820 So, you're showing them your fully erect but flattened dick, and then you're like...

01:04:23.340 Oh, yeah, and make them think...

01:04:24.400 Trust me, the thing doesn't get any bigger, but my God, does it look enormous right now.

01:04:28.640 I can't even...

01:04:29.280 Because in their mind, they're going, this is a flaccid penis.

01:04:32.180 It's hard right now.

01:04:33.340 Because women are dumb, and they don't know.

01:04:35.700 So...

01:04:36.140 Stupid.

01:04:37.220 Dude, I just came up with a genius idea for a new bit.

01:04:41.620 We got to figure out a way, I don't know, maybe, like, a third party where we send them

01:04:45.080 all our dick pics, and then...

01:04:47.040 But with that...

01:04:47.580 And obviously, the idea is to make it anonymous, and then we have to bring the show, look at

01:04:52.300 each dick, and try to determine...

01:04:53.820 Obviously, if it's yours, you'll know, but, like, we would have the group chat.

01:04:56.940 You'd just be describing what it looks like.

01:04:58.640 By the way, is anybody uncircumcised?

01:05:00.680 Because that would skew the...

01:05:02.520 I'm sorry.

01:05:03.060 We already discussed this.

01:05:05.000 Oh, that's right.

01:05:05.620 Top is uncircumcised.

01:05:06.840 Oh, damn it.

01:05:07.640 And for the record, I think I have the biggest dick amongst our podcasts.

01:05:12.560 What do you guys think?

01:05:13.320 You think Reed has a meat hanger, dude?

01:05:17.320 I think he's got a hog.

01:05:18.700 Reed's is definitely up there, because we've seen that bulge.

01:05:20.480 He has bashful big dick energy, where he's, like, so big, and he's, like, a little bit,

01:05:24.560 like, kind of shy about it.

01:05:26.620 No, we saw it, too, because he was wearing those cargo pants that were, like, tight as fuck.

01:05:30.760 I'm telling you, I want to...

01:05:31.760 I want to compete.

01:05:33.480 I want to compete with Reed on dick.

01:05:35.000 I do.

01:05:35.860 All right.

01:05:36.100 I would not...

01:05:37.400 I mean, I would be...

01:05:38.720 I mean, there's...

01:05:39.360 I'm not the biggest.

01:05:40.280 I'm not just going to put that out there.

01:05:42.060 100%.

01:05:42.460 Yeah, your wife in the chat has already...

01:05:44.120 Yeah, she's out.

01:05:45.040 She's going hard in the chat.

01:05:45.880 I think we already figured it out.

01:05:47.280 Top is the third party that we have to send the dick pics to.

01:05:50.440 Oh, that's great.

01:05:51.040 Oh, my God.

01:05:51.340 Make him draw art.

01:05:53.020 Oh, that would be the loophole, so we could put on the show.

01:05:56.300 That's actually really smart.

01:05:57.380 Draw our dicks.

01:05:58.500 Draw our dicks.

01:05:59.000 Can you imagine Tom having to spend hours drawing our dicks?

01:06:02.420 Draw our dicks.

01:06:03.000 Oh, my God.

01:06:03.520 Let's do it.

01:06:04.140 This is the best one ever.

01:06:05.840 Oh, my God.

01:06:08.100 Make it nice and stylized.

01:06:10.400 So far.

01:06:11.600 Yo, but he can...

01:06:12.680 Then he can just add it to the existing artwork.

01:06:14.940 Yeah.

01:06:15.280 Add all of our two-scale...

01:06:17.140 Two-scale dicks hanging there.

01:06:18.680 Oh, my God.

01:06:20.320 This is a...

01:06:21.060 I'm going to draw them all like oil paintings.

01:06:22.740 Yeah, I mean, find the way.

01:06:23.700 But then we can't use the art piece.

01:06:25.540 Everybody has to be shaved.

01:06:26.840 There's no bush.

01:06:28.120 It has to be completely shaved.

01:06:29.760 Well, the bush can be fine, too.

01:06:30.520 I've never shaved.

01:06:32.200 Well, I'm manscaped, so I trim it.

01:06:33.280 I think you need to at least trim it down.

01:06:35.520 Oh, I'll do trim it down.

01:06:36.720 I'm not an animal, but I'm not going to shave it.

01:06:37.940 Yeah, I trim it.

01:06:38.480 I'm not a fucking woman, either.

01:06:40.220 All right.

01:06:40.460 We'll all trim it.

01:06:41.760 Yeah, fine.

01:06:42.140 Dude, if Top is open to this, this is the greatest bit ever.

01:06:45.800 This is such a great thing.

01:06:46.540 Yeah, but I just don't know how we would...

01:06:48.420 I haven't taken a dick pic in so fucking long.

01:06:52.980 I've been married for almost four years.

01:06:53.760 The key is, when you're married, is you've got to get your wife to help.

01:06:56.880 I got her...

01:06:57.460 Like, you know that one that went around forever ago?

01:06:59.700 That was when I got my wife to take.

01:07:00.980 I don't know why, but for some reason, me and my wife were talking about one day,

01:07:03.700 and I was talking about mechanics of getting a good dick pic,

01:07:06.340 and then we were like, we should try to take a good dick pic.

01:07:08.080 And so then we spent a few hours trying to get different angles of my dick.

01:07:13.580 Also, I don't think you can have...

01:07:15.640 You can't have your hand in it, because that would give it away.

01:07:18.420 Because, I mean, easily get away.

01:07:19.680 Yeah, like my hands, like the tattoo.

01:07:21.600 Yeah, it would have to be just dick.

01:07:23.780 It would have to be...

01:07:24.300 And I think...

01:07:25.040 That's the hard part for me.

01:07:26.260 Like, that would be...

01:07:26.880 I guess, well, that's a great thing about Top.

01:07:28.480 He could obviously use...

01:07:30.000 Or just not put my tattoos in the art.

01:07:31.220 Then we would have to decide on, are we going to go top-down view or a side view?

01:07:35.220 Because that would also be...

01:07:36.300 Yeah, the problem is...

01:07:37.320 Well, I think you can do whatever you want.

01:07:38.840 I think that's the beauty of it.

01:07:40.000 Because then, like, you can have different angles.

01:07:42.760 Oh, I thought we were going to go off...

01:07:43.840 I thought we were trying to measure who's the biggest here.

01:07:46.160 But I think that...

01:07:46.760 I guess you could still tell.

01:07:47.480 I think the idea is who's dick is whose.

01:07:50.060 Like, we put out the art.

01:07:50.540 If we can do whatever you want, then I'm just taking a super close-up of the head.

01:07:54.240 So you have no idea.

01:07:57.440 It's just this...

01:07:58.240 You're just like, what's this big purple blob on it?

01:08:00.880 Dude, I feel like we still...

01:08:02.760 I feel like we'd still have to, like, censor it, even if it was art, though.

01:08:06.260 No, I think you can completely get away with it as art.

01:08:08.660 I'm almost certain.

01:08:10.160 Yeah, with art, yeah, I think you can.

01:08:12.140 Especially if he...

01:08:13.100 What he would have to do is he could put it into some other type of larger art piece.

01:08:18.080 I have a great idea.

01:08:19.780 Sistine Chapel ceiling, but it's us on there with our dicks hanging out.

01:08:24.900 And we just trick the algo into thinking that it's the Sistine Chapel.

01:08:27.720 Yeah, but there's another problem.

01:08:28.760 It has to be in some type of other large art piece.

01:08:31.080 And it's just our dicks.

01:08:32.380 Maybe have little wings on them, like they're flying, like angels or something like that.

01:08:36.040 But it's our separate penises.

01:08:37.740 And then we would have to guess, okay, that's my penis, or that's Clint's penis.

01:08:42.680 Oh, yeah, all right.

01:08:43.780 That little chode.

01:08:44.540 Well, it's fun, too, because it's almost like a game of Among Us, kind of like the whole idea

01:08:47.940 of, like, you know it's your dick, and you have to, like, make arguments for it being

01:08:51.060 other people's dicks.

01:08:52.420 Yeah.

01:08:52.960 And top, top, what you can do is put in one black guy's penis and just confuse the fuck

01:08:58.560 out of us.

01:08:58.960 We're just like, wait, what?

01:09:00.960 Dude, we can call the game Humongous Among Us.

01:09:05.020 Jesus.

01:09:05.380 Hey, I'll say this, SCG says the competition is, who's is most photogenic?

01:09:09.440 I win, hands down.

01:09:10.200 My dick is perfect looking.

01:09:11.320 Mine is not.

01:09:12.140 Mine is brutalized, man, from the day of 32.

01:09:16.280 I'm so about this idea.

01:09:18.720 My dick is brutalized.

01:09:21.060 That's quote Toad.

01:09:22.320 Incredible.

01:09:23.340 I think Top actually likes the idea.

01:09:25.360 It's weird that he's not like, no, I will never do that.

01:09:28.240 He's like, hell yeah, brothers.

01:09:30.780 Brandon says that Toad is the one pissing cum, though.

01:09:33.860 And then he's like, I guess he works on an iPad or something.

01:09:37.940 And then just like, he sends it to his iPad.

01:09:40.100 And then like, he's in his room working, his kids come in like, what you working on, dad?

01:09:44.160 He's like, don't look.

01:09:45.420 This is just a penis thing.

01:09:47.420 I just imagine his wife walking in and he's like doodling.

01:09:50.120 There's like a side by side of like a penis.

01:09:52.480 He's like doodling it.

01:09:55.300 He'd be just like a superman.

01:09:57.720 He's just got a whole book of dick drawings.

01:09:59.560 Yeah, Spud mentioned my mangled dick.

01:10:03.080 Oh my God.

01:10:03.620 If we can, if we figure out that you could, the loophole is art, we could start including

01:10:07.760 like dicks in like, especially if he already has a template.

01:10:11.580 Cause you know, Top will a lot of time like copy, like kind of like pull shit from other

01:10:15.000 stuff and repurpose it.

01:10:16.400 Like you can always start putting dicks in art like sprinkled in the background.

01:10:20.420 I think he 100% needs to just start, if we give him our dicks and he draws them, he

01:10:25.840 needs to put a tiny penis of ours, whatever it is, and every piece of art he does.

01:10:30.780 It's like a little, like a little, uh, like where's Waldo thing, but it's small.

01:10:35.220 Like, is it going to be, is it going to be random?

01:10:37.180 Like he's going to rotate all of ours?

01:10:39.860 Well, it depends.

01:10:41.260 No, no, no, no.

01:10:42.200 I got it.

01:10:42.720 The winner of the competition is the one he does it with.

01:10:45.140 So the most, the best photogenic dick, he just, he just took over gas digital's merch

01:10:50.260 line and he's just like, he's like, legion of skates.

01:10:54.680 Oh, it's dick is hanging in the corner of the S.

01:10:56.960 Oh, so you assume I will be the winner.

01:10:58.840 All right.

01:10:59.540 Well, by the way, by the way, getting prepared for this, would you like not want to come for

01:11:05.740 a bit or would you be like, when is your dick the biggest?

01:11:10.600 Is it after you haven't came in a while?

01:11:12.540 Or is it like, if you've like been regularly coming and then it's like, definitely post

01:11:16.900 blowjob.

01:11:17.440 My dick never gets bigger.

01:11:19.320 Post blowjob.

01:11:20.380 So you already came.

01:11:22.060 Or like, or like, apex, apex blowjob.

01:11:25.520 Yeah.

01:11:25.720 Whatever.

01:11:26.440 That's right before, right before you, right before, right, right before you, yeah.

01:11:29.700 Like Ashton, I need a BJ, but stop.

01:11:34.780 Get out the backlight.

01:11:38.980 Exactly.

01:11:39.380 Topps hasn't had sex a few days in a row.

01:11:42.320 And if I, Topps hasn't had sex a few days in a row for a while, I feel like, because

01:11:46.700 he told us the last time he got it.

01:11:49.200 It was like, you've never told us before yet.

01:11:51.640 He's like, you know, you know, if you're announcing you're having sex, you're not having sex very

01:11:54.660 often.

01:11:55.320 It's like, I'm getting laid tonight.

01:11:58.660 Like, okay.

01:11:59.460 Honestly, if Topps wants to throw his in there, he can throw his in there.

01:12:06.180 We'll know it's his, but it's fine.

01:12:07.860 Who cares?

01:12:08.640 Damn it.

01:12:09.120 Our chat is funnier than us.

01:12:10.280 It's pissing me off.

01:12:10.860 Yeah.

01:12:11.400 Well, the thing about my dick, though, at least, is that because it's like average white

01:12:15.780 guy dick, and I'm sure.

01:12:17.640 You all have average white.

01:12:18.780 No, but I'm small.

01:12:20.460 I'm short.

01:12:20.780 So everybody thinks that my dick is going to be really tiny.

01:12:23.420 So chicks are just like pleasantly surprised when they actually see it.

01:12:26.140 So there is that in person or when you send the dick pic to them instead.

01:12:34.460 All Toad has to do is just be like, just scroll through like his folder of dick pics that

01:12:39.920 he has.

01:12:40.820 Like, I don't think you realize when I send dick pics, I will get responses of, wow.

01:12:47.640 Like, yeah, exactly.

01:12:48.820 What the fuck is wrong with you?

01:12:51.200 All sorts of cool responses.

01:12:53.560 Who are you?

01:12:54.640 Why are you doing this?

01:12:55.800 Bro.

01:12:58.980 I even got, I can't believe this.

01:13:02.920 Sometimes I think about how many.

01:13:04.520 Stop talking to me.

01:13:05.400 I can't believe it's not Boner.

01:13:07.700 I sometimes think about how many dick pics, like, people like Shuan Head get, and it's

01:13:12.000 got to be incredible.

01:13:13.720 Like, she could probably.

01:13:14.880 I don't understand why they don't put out, like, copy books of, like, Dick's dudes.

01:13:18.360 Dick's random dude sent to me.

01:13:19.860 Just like a copy book.

01:13:20.500 Yeah, that could be the Shuan Head.

01:13:21.380 And over, any woman over 100,000 followers has to get avalanched.

01:13:26.480 I honestly cannot sympathize with the women who get upset about it, because I would just

01:13:30.380 be like, oh, that's a dick.

01:13:32.040 Okay, cool.

01:13:33.100 And then I would just put your DMs on private, of course.

01:13:35.260 But if you don't, expect a ton of views.

01:13:37.400 If you have open DMs, and you have over 100,000 followers as a woman, you are doing, like, you

01:13:41.920 are playing with fire.

01:13:43.320 Dude, I would do it.

01:13:45.260 It would just be fun.

01:13:46.520 Like, it's like.

01:13:47.120 Oh, because now that is something you could turn it into, is just like, you could be like,

01:13:51.280 like, just keep them open, and then just post the dick pics every time you get them.

01:13:54.980 Dude, if I was a chick, and I got some weird dick, and it was like a dick pic, I would

01:13:59.480 probably start flirting with them to get more.

01:14:01.480 Just because, like, I'm going to file an album.

01:14:05.740 Like, I'm not interested, but oh, yeah, I like that.

01:14:08.140 Send some more.

01:14:10.740 I would just post them all on main.

01:14:12.820 That's what I'm saying.

01:14:13.420 I think you would post them.

01:14:13.920 I'd be like, here's his ad, here's his dick, you know.

01:14:16.260 But I think the problem with that would be, one, probably legal trouble, because I feel

01:14:20.240 like they would definitely call that, like, revenge porn or some shit like that.

01:14:23.080 Especially if you post his ad, if you post his dick pic.

01:14:25.520 Yeah, if you send me an unsolicited dick pic, you would have already fucking long.

01:14:28.840 Wait, wait, if you send one now, like, if we send you one directly, I thought you would

01:14:33.580 be down with that.

01:14:34.640 I just want to make it clear, I'm not going to be excited if I get unsolicited dick pics.

01:14:38.220 I'm just letting everyone know out there.

01:14:41.120 Please send me dick pics.

01:14:43.280 And then, also, I feel like it wouldn't last very long where you'd be getting dick pics as

01:14:48.180 a woman if you started posting them on main.

01:14:50.280 I feel like that would last very long if any of you sent me a dick pic.

01:14:53.080 Oh, I love when the chat guys tell us what the video title's going to be, because there's

01:15:01.200 been some really good ones if you go back through here.

01:15:03.700 I have Avalanche of Dicks on the list right now, so there is that.

01:15:08.480 There was another one that I, what was it at?

01:15:11.440 I can't remember.

01:15:11.860 I've got a good list of these.

01:15:13.500 The title of this one's going to be good.

01:15:14.980 Butthole Kegels, that was the other one.

01:15:16.300 Yeah, that's already on the list, too.

01:15:17.980 That was such a great one, Butthole Kegels.

01:15:19.520 Yeah, thank you, Ofer.

01:15:20.680 Oh, by the way, shout out to Ofernave, because he went on to fucking Urban Dictionary and put

01:15:27.900 on Tower Gang like a fucking boss and just wrote up a perfect description of us with

01:15:35.200 the whole conversation thing and with clips, too.

01:15:41.140 He linked in clips.

01:15:42.440 He wanted to link in the tower, but it wasn't, are you, are you swearing, because it says

01:15:46.900 Ofernave on the bottom.

01:15:48.300 It said Ofer, it's 100%.

01:15:48.720 Yeah, I thought that he didn't realize it said his name on there and that he was like,

01:15:52.000 Dude, it says your name on there.

01:15:53.420 I'm not going to, I'm not going to.

01:15:54.720 Maybe it's somebody pretending to be him.

01:15:57.920 I wish it was a hater, but it wasn't a hater because it was somebody that watches the show.

01:16:02.180 It definitely was.

01:16:02.900 Because they, they, they, it was like.

01:16:04.400 But it was also someone that was like making fun of us, but in the way that we would make fun

01:16:07.500 of each other.

01:16:07.820 Right, not a hater watcher.

01:16:08.360 It was really well done.

01:16:09.300 What a great, Ofer, you know what, I'm still going to give it to you.

01:16:13.020 How did you guys find out about it?

01:16:14.800 I don't think you ever said it.

01:16:15.640 I got typos because typos sent it to me instead of follower of his sent it to him.

01:16:21.140 I don't know why we didn't get to, I, I, that's, it's very weird.

01:16:24.600 You just feel like if someone did that, that like they're, I mean, it's almost more respect

01:16:28.680 move than they did it and then didn't say anything.

01:16:30.420 Because you would think that someone who would do that would be like, Hey guys, look what

01:16:33.000 I did.

01:16:34.520 It's like, it's like the Bitcoin creator.

01:16:36.500 You know, he's like, he's like, we don't know who he is.

01:16:38.380 I'm just giving, I'm just giving the world this gift and I'm, I'm sailing off into the

01:16:42.600 sunset.

01:16:43.060 The tower power, our account is going to get a flood of dick pics now.

01:16:46.080 Yeah.

01:16:46.400 Feel free to send it to the account.

01:16:47.980 I don't care.

01:16:49.580 We'll give him the top.

01:16:51.140 He'll draw them up and put them in there.

01:16:53.380 We were, we were, we were discussing a, a titty ranking tournament.

01:16:57.180 Satoshi tower moto.

01:16:59.780 That's right.

01:17:00.360 How great would it be if like our outro just is like a reel of dicks.

01:17:04.780 The account, like it's gone that we got top to draw.

01:17:10.580 I think if we find out that's a loophole, that would be, that'd be great.

01:17:14.060 Didn't we have another topic to hit?

01:17:15.780 We have Andrew Tate, Dave Portnoy, uh, John McAfee.

01:17:19.580 You take your bet.

01:17:20.180 Awesome.

01:17:20.700 Gay.

01:17:21.060 Dead.

01:17:21.640 All right.

01:17:21.900 Let's, let's go home.

01:17:24.000 Andrew Tate is cool.

01:17:25.320 Loving like he, which he's going to be on Tucker like soon.

01:17:28.420 I saw it's Tucker Carlson put that out that he's going to be on Tucker,

01:17:31.200 which I just, I just find it very weird.

01:17:33.260 Yeah.

01:17:33.700 He was already.

01:17:35.300 I think there was a clip of Tucker talking to him.

01:17:38.360 Uh, I don't, I didn't.

01:17:39.820 Did he, what's the, what's the accusations about human trafficking?

01:17:43.060 Cause everyone brings that up and when I hear human trafficking, I like,

01:17:46.520 it's like, okay, well that could mean a million things.

01:17:48.780 That could mean he was just some pimp, you know, perform, you know,

01:17:51.500 providing, you know, providing something, you know, a service to the market.

01:17:55.520 Like who gives a shit?

01:17:56.340 Like what I understand is him and his brother ran basically like cam girls.

01:18:03.800 That's from what I understand.

01:18:06.920 I saw a video of him beating the shit out of some of them.

01:18:10.620 So he's not a good guy.

01:18:11.560 What did she do though?

01:18:14.700 And from what I understand on that one is a lot of people were saying that

01:18:17.900 was like a BDSM thing.

01:18:19.360 And it was like, I think it was, I think it was a BDSM thing,

01:18:23.260 but, Oh, is Toad frozen or is he just pantomiming?

01:18:27.040 Jazzy!

01:18:28.660 But there's also, uh, she cries at the end of the video.

01:18:33.260 So I don't know.

01:18:35.220 I don't know.

01:18:35.660 It's a fair excuse, but like, I don't know.

01:18:38.100 But the one, the one that he did get accused of,

01:18:40.140 like the charges were temporarily brought and then dropped.

01:18:43.380 Um, I do think that that one's bullshit because,

01:18:46.380 because the girl apparently had a boyfriend went over to his house,

01:18:49.360 like slept with him or something and then said, Oh,

01:18:51.600 I got raped by this guy and I've been being trafficked by him.

01:18:54.140 Had a clit Russell problem with an Indian girl.

01:18:56.740 That's actually what happened.

01:18:57.320 Yeah.

01:18:57.480 Kind of like that.

01:18:58.160 And then, uh, but then it turns out that there was a, uh,

01:19:00.720 like his surveillance video caught her like being all gleeful and going

01:19:04.900 outside the house, grabbing a pizza, walking back in.

01:19:06.980 And they're like, yeah, there's no charges to be brought here.

01:19:09.080 So I think he's a bad guy, but I also don't think that they have him dead

01:19:12.060 to rights.

01:19:12.840 Um, my personal vantage point is he's just fucking awesome on talking

01:19:16.780 about the lockdown.

01:19:17.680 So I'm really torn on this.

01:19:19.660 And I'm not lying.

01:19:20.320 If you take out most, like we, we, we all like have fun and like

01:19:24.080 pretend to be misogynist, but we all like, like we respect women,

01:19:27.440 whatever.

01:19:27.760 We all have wives or girlfriends or Toad has a mom, I think.

01:19:31.440 Um, but, but like, besides that, besides like he, he, like,

01:19:36.900 I feel like a lot of his misogynist stuff is like,

01:19:39.080 just him just playing a part.

01:19:40.400 But I think there are other things.

01:19:41.960 Like if he was, he has like very kind of things about like,

01:19:46.280 be a man more or less to like guys that have been hearing their

01:19:50.600 entire, about like toxic masculinity.

01:19:52.680 And no wonder they're going to a dude that is probably what they see

01:19:57.440 as the, the most masculine, a guy that was a kid.

01:19:59.880 He was a legit kickboxer.

01:20:01.500 He's like Jordan Peterson, but he will fuck you up.

01:20:04.260 Yeah.

01:20:04.680 Yeah.

01:20:05.040 He'd be like, he is, he is like the toxic masculinity,

01:20:08.460 Jordan Peterson is Jordan Peterson without the crying.

01:20:12.520 I think.

01:20:13.300 Yeah.

01:20:14.700 Except the women around him do the crying, by the way.

01:20:17.060 I think I do want to say,

01:20:18.740 I want to say that YMH was the first people on to him because he had a

01:20:22.820 clip that was so fucking funny though.

01:20:24.620 It's, and it's the clip of, um, women should clean up unprompted,

01:20:28.260 which is still a funny fucking clip.

01:20:30.160 And just talking about how women should clean up and like, uh,

01:20:33.540 because, and his whole thing is he pays for everything.

01:20:36.640 So he expects them to do things.

01:20:39.640 And so it's just, he just says it in a really dickish, dickish way.

01:20:44.480 What he's describing is total reality.

01:20:47.460 They're like, everyone in a relationship expects reciprocal care.

01:20:50.680 You know, like you're the one that's working 60 hours a week.

01:20:53.360 And she's sitting at home.

01:20:54.440 You're like, Hey, I expect you to make a meal here and there.

01:20:56.620 You know, it's like, he's like, I may not say like, bitch,

01:20:59.180 go make me dinner.

01:21:00.200 But yeah, I mean, he's like, I will pay for everything.

01:21:04.260 But he says like in the dickish way, he goes, my card never gets declined.

01:21:08.440 And he ended up with like, now bring me a coffee when I want a coffee.

01:21:12.840 Like, I mean, I'm not lying.

01:21:14.860 If I'm making all the money, I mean,

01:21:16.520 like I've been married for like a decade and me and my wife have made

01:21:19.380 differing levels of money throughout the years.

01:21:21.540 And there have been times and work differently.

01:21:23.560 There's been periods of time where she didn't literally work at all.

01:21:25.580 And I was working and yeah, it's kind of like,

01:21:28.160 if the house is dirty and I'm not getting like meals when I get home,

01:21:33.640 like, what are you doing here?

01:21:36.000 Like, what are you bringing to this whole, like, what's going on?

01:21:41.040 Like, like, yeah, I bring the money.

01:21:43.040 You bring the, fix the house up.

01:21:45.500 Okay.

01:21:46.120 I mean, this is kids are dirty.

01:21:49.380 Uh, like, and it's like, they'll be like, oh, this is the hardest job in the world.

01:21:52.680 No, it's not.

01:21:53.800 I've been there.

01:21:54.600 I've been in the situation where I was the one at home more often.

01:21:57.640 Wife was gone.

01:21:58.540 And I was sitting there with the kids.

01:21:59.580 Pretty fucking easy.

01:22:00.540 Not hard.

01:22:01.100 Now, now, what is, what is the, what is the, what is the ratio?

01:22:05.380 At least to where it would be like, okay.

01:22:07.120 So like, you have to make three times as much as your partner for the, for you to be like

01:22:11.900 that.

01:22:12.140 Or like, do you, they have to make zero and you make all of it?

01:22:15.020 I mean, I think it's just reasonable.

01:22:16.280 I mean, I think most, you know, reasonable minds can kind of come to like, Hey, this is

01:22:20.300 like kind of fair.

01:22:21.260 Cause like it changes.

01:22:22.800 Like I do like a ton of shit around the house.

01:22:24.800 Now me and my wife kind of like, are both like, I don't know, kind of neck and neck.

01:22:28.600 Uh, she'd like, and also we have our own business.

01:22:30.940 And so it's like, the money's all mixed up.

01:22:32.920 So we kind of, you know, we've split up the labor.

01:22:35.960 Uh, it's not like I'm like, you know, she has to do everything.

01:22:38.360 It ebbs and flows.

01:22:39.620 It's just, but yeah, if you're in a situation where like, you're the sole breadwinner and

01:22:43.180 the other chick, like if you're just going to yoga classes and leaving the kids, I'm

01:22:47.760 like, what the fuck are you doing?

01:22:48.960 That used to be what fucking America was and 100% was better than like, it's not like, and

01:22:54.560 honestly, 100%.

01:22:56.060 I think some people might disagree.

01:22:57.780 I don't care if they disagree.

01:22:59.500 They're wrong.

01:23:01.980 Because it was better for both parties.

01:23:04.420 100%.

01:23:04.820 The women got to stay home, be with the kids, fucking do all that.

01:23:08.880 Liz, you should divorce her right away.

01:23:10.900 To be fair.

01:23:11.900 I wasn't literally, when I say making all the money, I wasn't saying it's a matter of who

01:23:15.720 makes more money.

01:23:16.580 Really.

01:23:17.000 It's a more matter of who's gone, who's doing more, who's there available, whatever,

01:23:22.180 et cetera.

01:23:22.540 So it's not, it's not so much like, I mean, whatever.

01:23:25.620 That's why I brought up the ratio.

01:23:27.360 Does it need to be three times as much?

01:23:28.940 It's not a ratio thing.

01:23:30.080 Well, the point is, it's not about the money.

01:23:31.340 It's about like, who's, who's like, who's got the free time.

01:23:34.000 I have never, I have never wielded my financial disparity anywhere near what I could have.

01:23:38.800 I could have been Andrew Tate.

01:23:40.100 Cause I was making like seven, eight times what my, my significant others were that, but

01:23:44.100 I, you would be such an asshole if you did that.

01:23:46.200 So I just don't think it's like, it's not beneficial for the health of your relationship.

01:23:49.800 But Clint, you would be way more famous.

01:23:50.880 That's true.

01:23:51.720 You would be.

01:23:52.220 That's true.

01:23:52.540 Yeah, but it could be a little bit different.

01:23:53.920 You're talking about like girlfriends and shit.

01:23:55.760 And yeah, I mean, if you're my girlfriend, my living girlfriend and you're not working

01:23:59.320 and I'm making a fuckload of money and you're not doing shit.

01:24:02.560 Yeah.

01:24:02.760 I'm going to be a little bit irritated and then we might have words.

01:24:04.780 Yeah.

01:24:05.000 You better talk to myself when I get home from the gym.

01:24:06.660 That's all I'm saying.

01:24:07.080 Yeah.

01:24:07.300 But now if you're like married, either, either you cook or clean or I beat you.

01:24:10.380 I mean, this is, I mean, you have, I'm making the money here.

01:24:13.900 I'm going to get out some way.

01:24:15.500 Same thing.

01:24:16.360 Yeah.

01:24:17.100 The three.

01:24:17.660 I always, I always had house cleaners, so they, they got off easy.

01:24:21.300 Did you ever fuck your house cleaner?

01:24:22.960 No, I do.

01:24:23.820 Whoa.

01:24:24.440 I don't like my house.

01:24:27.320 You're like, I'm not Arnold Schwarzenegger.

01:24:29.480 I'm not into fat Latinos.

01:24:31.460 I'm just kidding.

01:24:31.900 Mexican chicks are hot, but not house cleaners.

01:24:33.820 I promise you that.

01:24:34.480 Yeah.

01:24:34.720 Uh, the Andrew Tate thing real quick, by the way, I mean, say what you will about him,

01:24:39.060 but he did not deserve to get canceled from everything and have like his bank accounts.

01:24:44.040 That was my whole position with it.

01:24:45.260 People, people were still like, why are you turning him into a martyr?

01:24:48.880 And I'm like, okay, so there's three examples of human beings that have been banned from every

01:24:53.620 platform.

01:24:53.980 Maybe four.

01:24:54.660 I mean, three really well-known ones.

01:24:56.420 Donald Trump.

01:24:57.140 Donald Trump.

01:24:58.440 That's why I said four.

01:25:00.120 Holy shit.

01:25:00.620 That's why I said four.

01:25:01.280 The three, the three, the three really well-known ones, Donald Trump,

01:25:04.380 Alex Jones, and now Andrew Tate.

01:25:06.600 It's just absurd that people are like, this guy's a bad, like the vast majority of people

01:25:10.860 think that he was nuked from every platform just because he's a bad influence on young

01:25:14.240 men.

01:25:14.580 That is a crazy litmus test to have every social media platform simultaneously within like

01:25:20.100 48 hours.

01:25:21.060 Go.

01:25:21.460 Bye-bye.

01:25:22.160 All of you, all of you have to go now.

01:25:23.440 There's so many people worse for men for like bad influences on men.

01:25:27.160 Anyways, like, yeah, like Brian Stelter, dude, look, no, or even like, if you want to go

01:25:31.480 into legitimately, just go look at like 90% of any of the fitness influencers on any platform

01:25:39.020 are just legitimately just fucking like usually putting out bad information and also putting

01:25:45.180 on like unrealistic expectations for what men should be or whatever, something like

01:25:48.400 that.

01:25:48.640 Like, but they stay on the entire time.

01:25:50.200 They don't go away.

01:25:51.240 They're fine.

01:25:51.740 They can, they can grift all they want, but like he, it was, and he's been on all these

01:25:56.360 platforms just talking about this women stuff and being a man for all the way up until he

01:26:01.640 started talking about COVID and talking about like, and there was, I mean, there was things

01:26:05.360 and he said, the government, the government fucks you.

01:26:07.960 The government is evil.

01:26:08.840 When he, I'm telling you, when he started saying that, I think that's what got him on

01:26:11.600 the radar.

01:26:11.980 I really believe that.

01:26:13.160 Yeah.

01:26:13.360 And he, because he, because I remember there was a clip and he was talking about like, if

01:26:17.720 they ask you to wear a mask, like he'd be talking about whenever they're talking

01:26:20.220 about doing mask on planes and he was just like, I won't wear it until they asked me

01:26:23.120 to wear it.

01:26:23.620 And then I'll put one on, I'll put it on my chin.

01:26:25.520 And then like, if they tell me, put it over, I put it over my mouth and he was like, I

01:26:28.760 will make it as hard on them as like, he just did like, he was very against it.

01:26:31.880 I did, I did that shit.

01:26:32.920 I thought it was great advice.

01:26:34.260 I did that the entire time.

01:26:35.300 I just think it was like, not to go like big brain time, but it would always irritate

01:26:41.280 me that our kind would always make the private property argument.

01:26:44.000 And it's like, okay, well that's like missing the concept.

01:26:46.800 Like, yeah, you can have these stipulations of like, Hey, I don't want,

01:26:50.220 like, if you come to my establishment, these are my rules, but it's like, okay, but you

01:26:53.800 have to like enforce them.

01:26:55.360 Like, are you saying if you have a house and like, and someone, and you say, Hey, please

01:27:00.460 take your shoes off the door.

01:27:01.580 And then they don't, if then, then they, then broke, like they, what, like aggressed against

01:27:06.640 you?

01:27:06.920 Like, no, it's then on you to go, all right, you didn't follow my rules.

01:27:10.700 You need to leave.

01:27:11.660 And if they then refuse, then they have aggressed upon you in this like theory.

01:27:15.920 So it's like, I didn't miss a whole idea.

01:27:17.840 Yeah.

01:27:18.020 There was, there was a friend of mine was literally arguing with me about this because

01:27:21.080 he said, he was like, Oh, you're a libertarian.

01:27:22.480 So you respect property or life.

01:27:23.500 Do you wear a mask whenever you go into a store?

01:27:24.920 And I was like, no, because they're like, they have to enforce it.

01:27:27.040 I don't care.

01:27:27.440 Like, yeah.

01:27:28.220 All they do is go do is ask.

01:27:29.540 I'd be like, okay.

01:27:30.020 And I'd be polite about it, but I'm not going to take it.

01:27:32.120 And that's when you start by putting it like on your chin and then like walking around

01:27:35.200 and they're like, can you put it in the pool?

01:27:36.480 I usually wouldn't even do that.

01:27:37.240 I would just like, if they did say I'd put it on, but they almost never said it.

01:27:40.460 Like they almost never did.

01:27:41.680 The way I see libertarians that, that carry on with that argumentation two and a half

01:27:47.320 years deep into this, I view them as geese charging towards me.

01:27:51.180 And I just want each one, just each one and then fucking get them out of here.

01:27:57.800 Well, by the way, real, real quick.

01:27:59.500 What's funny is the, the, the, all this stuff is now coming out with the, the debt, the

01:28:08.280 student debt.

01:28:09.380 Oh, sorry.

01:28:10.540 Did you guys see the Trump pivot?

01:28:11.960 Did you guys see that Trump pivot?

01:28:13.460 Oh, yes.

01:28:13.960 Great.

01:28:14.340 Oh my God.

01:28:15.700 No, I didn't see it.

01:28:16.720 Which by, oh, it was, so the, um, New York times was New York times or was it, um, Politico?

01:28:22.520 It was one of these fucking, it was someone that had to be fucking, it was, it was a

01:28:27.940 legal to put that through.

01:28:29.620 Yeah.

01:28:29.780 It was a legit, uh, like news organization put out a thing saying that, uh, Trump pushed

01:28:36.780 the FDA to accept a, uh, did they call it on, um, untested or very vaguely worded.

01:28:44.520 So it sounds like they're accusing him of wrongdoing when really like, this is stuff

01:28:48.340 that was, but it was, it was, but the problem was they use, they use language that the same

01:28:53.760 people that use the same language talking about the vaccine before got banned off of

01:28:57.480 they, I wonder if it's to say they said unproven vaccine.

01:29:01.040 They said Trump pushed the FDA to a, uh, which it was an hour and hour thing.

01:29:07.280 Yeah.

01:29:07.520 And they're, I think they're, they're literally trying to pivot to like, it's going to be

01:29:12.140 wild whenever they do this.

01:29:14.400 It's because it's because of the, all of the, uh, negative side effects that like, they

01:29:18.420 can't, they cannot deny it anymore.

01:29:20.220 So they're going to, they're going to pivot and they're going to try and pin it on Trump,

01:29:23.000 which is absolutely hysterical because Trump is political move though.

01:29:26.940 Well, it's genius, but it's so transparent.

01:29:28.960 They fucking, they zip their mouth all through the election.

01:29:31.660 You didn't hear them.

01:29:32.520 And you have Fauci resigning this week.

01:29:35.340 You have Fauci resigning this week and then the story comes out.

01:29:37.980 You got to think their crowd though.

01:29:39.520 Their crowd, they've been already, the people that are following these given people, this,

01:29:43.960 this ilk are already the kind that have been whiplashed all over the place to follow along.

01:29:48.480 So they will, their base will follow them, but this is genius in that it divides their,

01:29:53.660 their opposing base since now it's going to be, now people are going to be focused on

01:29:58.400 the argument of whether Trump fucked up in that.

01:30:00.880 And he did, he a hundred percent did.

01:30:02.820 So his base is going to get so separated when it's like, you're missing the point.

01:30:06.100 Like who gives a fuck?

01:30:07.160 Like, yeah, fuck, fuck Trump.

01:30:08.540 The issue is that then they also like this, except the premise, like not okay.

01:30:12.480 And we move from there.

01:30:13.280 Like who gives a shit?

01:30:14.020 Like, uh, you know, I don't know.

01:30:15.640 It's, it's fucking wild.

01:30:16.720 Yeah, it's going to be, and, and there, and I, I don't think they'll ever vilify it.

01:30:20.700 Like you said, I think they needed a scapegoat and Trump was that, if I did say this to

01:30:24.220 Jose, I said, I wonder if this was the plan all along, which is because it's, it's so

01:30:29.460 it's very, it's how it worked out was Trump offered himself up as the sacrificial lamb

01:30:35.200 though.

01:30:35.420 Like he's been, he's been going around month after month bragging about operation warp speed.

01:30:40.480 It's like everyone, like even myself, who's not his supporter, but also his supporters

01:30:44.680 that are more based on what actually transpired with the COVID shit have been like Trump back

01:30:49.100 away from the vaccine.

01:30:50.420 Stop, stop proudly bragging about all of the steps that you did to make this happen.

01:30:55.360 Your base is the ones that didn't like it anyways.

01:30:56.940 His crowd has booed him for it.

01:30:59.800 Yeah, it is very weird.

01:31:00.860 But he won't, he, he has not relented.

01:31:02.720 He wants, he wants the credit for it and it's going to crush him.

01:31:07.180 And I, and he fucking deserves it.

01:31:08.900 Yeah, I think this is the plan the whole time.

01:31:10.740 Yeah, no, I don't, I don't feel bad for him, but like, it does kind of freak me out some

01:31:15.100 of the other political consequences.

01:31:16.420 Cause for one, I think this even opens a path further for DeSantis.

01:31:20.640 Well, but, but more, more concerning to me is that it allows all of the other fucking

01:31:24.580 bad actors that duped Trump off the hook.

01:31:27.360 It allows that's the, that's the really bad part of this psychos or even, you know, even

01:31:33.340 Biden, like, I mean everything, because you got to think everything that came after the,

01:31:37.200 like all the vax passports or what, all that shit.

01:31:39.700 Biden was the one that was forcing it on people.

01:31:41.600 Yes.

01:31:42.360 But all of that's going to get swept under the rug because they could just say, oh, we're

01:31:45.380 going to blame Trump for it.

01:31:46.940 And like, yeah, he deserves the blame 100%, but also a lot of other people deserve the

01:31:51.260 blame.

01:31:51.660 There is a lot of blame to go around.

01:31:53.040 Yeah.

01:31:53.220 And I think, I think they deserve more blame than Trump as well.

01:31:55.740 Cause yeah, they were the ones really hardcore pushing it.

01:31:58.500 Even though Trump deserves blame, obviously.

01:32:01.060 Yeah.

01:32:01.080 He was like rapidly pushing it when he was kind of pushing it.

01:32:03.760 And he, yeah.

01:32:05.040 Because I think at that point, he was seeing it as a political win of, hey, I'm going to

01:32:10.260 be the guy that's going to get the vaccine out.

01:32:12.120 Because if everybody believes this is a pandemic, I'm going to be the one to fix it.

01:32:15.780 Well, this, this is the hilarious thing.

01:32:17.340 And now you can't pivot away from that.

01:32:18.660 I don't, I don't think Operation Warp Speed or the, the expediency with that, with which

01:32:22.880 that shit got rolled out had anything to do with Trump.

01:32:25.800 They were going to do that shit regardless.

01:32:27.480 What do you think they were going to do?

01:32:28.300 Sit on it when, when the whole world's melting down and the economy's closed?

01:32:31.640 I was like, no, this was the plan anyway.

01:32:33.220 So this dumb motherfucker stamps his name to shit that was already going down.

01:32:37.000 He deserves whatever pain he gets.

01:32:39.140 But my biggest concern is that the people that are actually fucking responsible don't

01:32:43.660 get any punishment for this.

01:32:45.240 And that is a fate that I cannot allow.

01:32:47.180 That would be awful.

01:32:47.800 My, my, my stepdad is back in the hospital.

01:32:50.400 Now with gallstones.

01:32:51.120 He had a massive heart attack three months ago, healthiest fucking old dude I've ever

01:32:54.760 been around.

01:32:55.380 He's like 68 years old, super, super in shape, just always working out and shit.

01:32:59.380 Never had a single health issue.

01:33:00.720 And now he's just wrecked by this shit.

01:33:02.600 And the only reason he got it, even though he was very opposed to it, he got it because

01:33:05.720 he was retired and he wanted to travel to like Europe and shit like that.

01:33:09.560 It's awful, man.

01:33:10.640 And they coerced so many people like that, you know, even though he knew like it, he didn't

01:33:15.140 need it for sure, but he was just like, ah, fuck it, whatever.

01:33:17.260 You know, it does.

01:33:18.000 It's now his life might be ruined, you know, the silver lining is, it does mean that they

01:33:21.800 are, they, they can't keep the things they wanted under wraps to keep on.

01:33:27.580 They can't keep the information down.

01:33:29.780 Like, because if they're pulling this card out, that means like they are getting beaten

01:33:35.100 at some, in some ways of they can't control the narrative that the vaccine is good anymore.

01:33:40.160 They literally cannot control that.

01:33:42.000 Right.

01:33:42.080 But that's a double-edged sword.

01:33:43.660 Yeah.

01:33:43.680 That's good.

01:33:44.520 Yeah.

01:33:44.840 It means that they, yeah, they could just, yeah.

01:33:47.020 They fail completely, which I mean, they kind of are, but also that means they're going

01:33:51.880 to just try to push the most insane shit that they can.

01:33:55.280 They're going to pivot it.

01:33:56.300 That's the thing though.

01:33:57.000 They're going to then pivot it to something else they can work off of.

01:34:00.080 And it's fucked up because I really feel like a lot of this shit was Trump trying to appease

01:34:05.340 the left.

01:34:05.860 And that's the irony of it.

01:34:07.000 They're going to throw him under the bus for one of the few times he actually was trying

01:34:10.540 to reach out to him.

01:34:11.200 There's a common thing Dave would talk about all the time throughout Trump's presidency.

01:34:15.120 It's like, yeah, he was a fire brand and like would intentionally piss some people off

01:34:19.560 all the time.

01:34:19.900 But you could tell he genuinely just wanted to be liked and have the left.

01:34:24.200 And he made multiple inroads at certain points to try to like, kind of, you know, almost like

01:34:28.580 a piece of like, Hey, you know, come like me.

01:34:30.520 And they would always just be like, fuck you.

01:34:32.580 And like, this is one of those moments.

01:34:33.980 If they, if the left stroked his dick in any way and said like his ego dick, they could

01:34:39.320 have passed legitimately almost anything they could have wanted.

01:34:42.140 Probably.

01:34:42.620 Yeah.

01:34:42.900 If they were, instead of being like, Oh, he's racist, misogynist, whatever the fuck.

01:34:47.880 And for some reason that was, but instead they just were like, Oh Trump.

01:34:51.700 Yeah.

01:34:51.840 It's great, dude.

01:34:52.460 Have you heard of this great thing called like universal healthcare?

01:34:54.900 It's so fucking great.

01:34:56.020 You'll be the best president ever.

01:34:58.420 And then you remember how they deep throated him after he dropped that Moab and fucking

01:35:01.560 Syria.

01:35:01.920 Yeah.

01:35:02.180 Yeah.

01:35:02.500 They were just like, this is the, this is the day that Trump became president.

01:35:05.440 They should, they said that shit like quote unquote, it's un-fucking-believable.

01:35:08.260 But what I'm really, what like the people, and I, I've been thinking about this a lot

01:35:11.520 because, uh, you know, this stuff with my dad is really obviously heartbreaking and concerning,

01:35:16.100 but I was just thinking to myself, like, I'm not some military vet, like how many military

01:35:20.060 veterans are, are, you know, coming home from war or whatever, finding their, their grandparents

01:35:24.340 or their parents that have died because of this shit.

01:35:26.080 Like, I think there's going to be some, like, I know it's always overblown that there's

01:35:31.340 all this white domestic extremist shit.

01:35:33.060 Like this has nothing to do with white.

01:35:34.140 This is just going to be some fucking military vet that loses his mom or something.

01:35:38.080 We prefer it to be white though.

01:35:41.440 You know what I'm saying though?

01:35:42.460 Like there, like there's a chance that someone really loses their shit.

01:35:45.300 If they lose a couple of relatives because of, uh, cause of side effects, like God help

01:35:49.680 us if they, if they go after people and you know, the people that I really want to

01:35:52.880 see go gone after and people don't talk about these dudes enough, but Ralph Baric at UNC,

01:35:57.360 where I think that they actually like came up with this plot and, uh, and also, um, uh,

01:36:05.240 Peter Daszak at eco health Alliance.

01:36:06.740 Like those two guys have got to like, they have to go to prison.

01:36:10.300 They have to.

01:36:11.260 And I, I, I know most people don't think it's going to happen, but like, man, if it

01:36:14.700 doesn't, it's hard to see like any of these people besides because they can pin it on Trump

01:36:19.300 very easily, dude, just Daszak, his, his organization was funded by Fauci through NIH.

01:36:25.880 He was responsible for the research.

01:36:28.120 He was then put in charge of the investigation in Wuhan for the WHO.

01:36:32.700 I shit you not.

01:36:33.460 And he came back and said, impossible for it to come from the lab, even though he was

01:36:37.420 the one that was in charge of the grants to do that research there.

01:36:40.320 That man has to go to prison, dude.

01:36:42.540 Like if you don't go to prison for that, that's fucking insane.

01:36:45.680 And it's just going to be some minor fucking people that end up getting slapped.

01:36:49.860 And there's, and it'll likely probably find some way to spin the narrative.

01:36:52.480 So it's like Trump administration people.

01:36:54.900 I don't think anyone's going to pay any real price for this whatsoever.

01:36:58.700 Uh, and it'll, they'll just twist the narrative until they get out of it.

01:37:01.900 And yeah.

01:37:03.480 Yeah.

01:37:03.900 I mean, I mean, somebody on like the Democrat side might go down for it as like a

01:37:08.880 sacrificial lamb, but yeah.

01:37:10.400 Other than that.

01:37:11.000 I mean, someone might lose a, like there might be one or two people lose a political

01:37:14.140 career, but some sort of like criminal actual, like, yeah, I think maybe there

01:37:18.680 might be a few people get a few years here and there that they try to hammer in

01:37:22.080 the Trump administration likely to try to pin some wrongdoings related to COVID to

01:37:26.680 try to like act like they're, but I mean, maybe there's a chance the, the, the

01:37:30.720 conservatives come in and win and they do run some show trials, but it will be

01:37:33.880 just that show trials.

01:37:35.200 They won't actually punish anyone.

01:37:36.720 It'll be the same thing as like the January 6th commission.

01:37:38.760 I think it will be less than that.

01:37:41.860 I don't know.

01:37:42.120 I think Fauci will get to retire with dignity.

01:37:45.200 Well, he already had, I mean, that's basically what he's doing.

01:37:47.040 I don't, I don't think, I don't think Fauci will ever be able to walk down a street in

01:37:50.000 this country again without being harangued.

01:37:51.760 I hope there's that punishment for sure.

01:37:54.020 Wait, you, legit, not where he lives at.

01:37:57.320 Well, I don't know where he lives at.

01:37:58.880 Probably DC or whatever he fucking lives.

01:38:00.900 I mean, besides that he might get mugged because he lives in a hard left stronghold, of course.

01:38:05.440 And he's, I honestly think he's going to have fucking top level security around him for

01:38:09.680 the rest of his life.

01:38:10.320 Cause I, I just don't think that these people, I don't think that people understand the amount

01:38:14.860 of anger that is like, maybe it's only 5% of the country or something, but it's a fucking

01:38:20.240 significant amount of people.

01:38:21.500 Like that's a lot of people.

01:38:22.480 I think they can't, there's no way you can like look back and be like, oh, he didn't do

01:38:29.860 anything.

01:38:30.160 Like there's no way anybody like rational could go.

01:38:32.220 Like even they could spin it because he said so much and like, and he just lies.

01:38:37.200 And so he lies in the moment and then he lies later on about what he said.

01:38:41.560 Dude, if someone, just imagine if like, if you want to become as famous as Alex Stein,

01:38:46.720 you just world star Fauci.

01:38:50.920 Fucking.

01:38:52.600 I'm telling you that, that video would be the most viral thing that has happened.

01:38:56.360 You will be in jail for the rest of your life.

01:38:58.520 That makes me think about like, and this is why I really just despise the people, like

01:39:04.140 the reason types or the Cato types, like the fucking Robbie Swansea interview with fucking

01:39:09.680 with a Fauci.

01:39:11.000 I was like, how?

01:39:12.280 Yeah.

01:39:12.800 Like, I'm not one that would heckle people.

01:39:14.960 Like say, I don't know.

01:39:16.480 Dave Smith had Vouchon and they had a polite conversation or whatever.

01:39:20.440 I don't know.

01:39:20.740 Some other person that you may not like.

01:39:22.720 Like, uh, I'd be like, if he, like they had a polite conversation, like a lot of people

01:39:26.420 get upset that like him and Fuentes, that him and Fuentes don't like bump heads.

01:39:30.800 Sam Harris, who just recently had some fucking bullshit.

01:39:33.880 But my, my point being is I don't, I won't give most people shit for not giving their guest

01:39:38.300 shit.

01:39:38.820 But now when it's somebody like Fauci, it's a very distinct thing.

01:39:43.360 Like, it's like this, if you're supposedly, supposedly in our camp and supposedly all about

01:39:49.000 freedom and all that shit, and then someone like Fauci comes to you in an interview format

01:39:54.120 and like, you have a chance to really push back and you can do it politely, professionally.

01:39:59.960 Uh, you know, you could hang that motherfucker in the most politest of ways.

01:40:06.340 Yeah.

01:40:06.820 And like, just by giving the slightest bit of pushback and just nothing, nothing at all.

01:40:11.360 Iverson would have eviscerated him.

01:40:12.820 Oh my God.

01:40:13.640 I really believe that.

01:40:14.240 I thought she would never do it because that would be the case.

01:40:16.640 I will, I think he was requesting not to be there.

01:40:19.280 Suave should be shamed out of the fucking community forever for that.

01:40:22.780 I genuinely think that.

01:40:23.800 Did you watch the interview?

01:40:24.680 Because I saw some highlights and I saw some fairly challenging questions, like compared

01:40:28.440 to mainstream coverage where they-

01:40:30.740 I'll be honest, I didn't watch it, but the very fact, the very fact that I'm not seeing

01:40:35.580 highlight reels from people in our community of how he fucking got him tells me everything

01:40:39.740 I fucking know.

01:40:40.640 He should have fucking done his research.

01:40:42.320 No, that's such a Jose thing to do, man.

01:40:44.660 No, I'm dead serious.

01:40:46.300 He was ready to excommunicate Robbie Suave.

01:40:48.560 No, I am still right now.

01:40:49.900 He's like, I didn't know.

01:40:50.540 No, that's a good point.

01:40:51.260 If he fucking, if he held his feet to the fire, there'd be clips all over the place.

01:40:55.140 Dave Smith fucking slobbing on his knob on fucking Twitter.

01:40:57.740 One of the most viral clips of Fauci in the past 30 days was from that interview where he

01:41:03.120 says he never called for lockdowns.

01:41:06.160 That shit went super viral.

01:41:07.320 That was because of their questioning.

01:41:08.800 That was an important thing to get him on the record with because he lied through his fucking

01:41:11.980 team.

01:41:12.180 No, that was the one I was thinking about when I said he was lying about the fact like because

01:41:14.820 that was one of the main ones is where he basically, and it's like so, it's so easy to prove wrong

01:41:20.140 that he was lying.

01:41:21.020 Like he, I mean, I guess there's a, there's a fair point there.

01:41:24.000 I guess you could say that they, oh, they got him on the record, but did, I mean, but then

01:41:28.440 that's like adding the additional, okay, maybe I could, you know, maybe not completely excommunicate

01:41:32.480 him, but I highly doubt they had the forethought to be like, you know what, we're going to

01:41:38.540 get him on fucking, because if that was the case, they would have clipped it and sent that out

01:41:42.340 shortly after.

01:41:43.080 Whereas I'm assuming it was other people who did it and not them.

01:41:46.160 I don't think that there was any sort of like, oh, we're going to get him, but I don't,

01:41:50.100 I don't follow any of them.

01:41:51.080 So I have no idea what they do.

01:41:52.280 I'm ready for Dave Smith to actually like get a beat in a debate coming up.

01:41:55.660 It's going to be crazy.

01:41:56.380 I mean, and then also Dave was pointed out they were tepid and about it.

01:42:00.340 And so like, if Dave's saying that, I'll take his word for it.

01:42:02.740 You're not going to promote your fucking.

01:42:06.080 Oh yeah.

01:42:06.420 Dave Smith is on tomorrow night.

01:42:07.740 Oh yeah.

01:42:08.440 Dave Smith is on tomorrow night.

01:42:09.920 Make sure you guys don't miss that.

01:42:11.120 It will be live at, uh, I think it's eight or 9 PM.

01:42:14.140 I can't remember.

01:42:14.740 East coast time.

01:42:15.820 And then the big, big one is obviously sticks versus Dave Smith on Trump.

01:42:20.400 Oh, I didn't realize you haven't Dave on also.

01:42:21.960 Like, so you're having day at like a pre, like just me and Dave tomorrow.

01:42:25.880 Oh, sweet.

01:42:26.540 All right.

01:42:26.980 And then, then, uh, September 4th, it'll be Dave versus sticks on Trump's legacy.

01:42:31.000 9 AM Eastern because sticks is in, uh, is in the Netherlands.

01:42:35.540 So I, that's the best I can do.

01:42:37.300 Um, but you can, that has to be like, that should be, I mean, I don't even know how you

01:42:41.480 can defend Trump, especially after like all the, like, especially what we've just talked

01:42:44.860 about with him and the fucking back.

01:42:47.040 I had stick, I had six on a month ago and he, he does a fairly good job at defending

01:42:50.980 him.

01:42:51.180 He's like, he's like, look, it was the governors that did it.

01:42:53.420 Yes.

01:42:53.580 The national emergency.

01:42:54.480 But like, if he didn't declare a national emergency during a pandemic, what would that

01:42:58.160 have looked like?

01:42:58.640 He was already under fire because of the multiple, uh, impeachments.

01:43:02.020 Like he's, he's gotta, I think there was something to be said for, yeah, the pressure that was

01:43:06.620 on him, like, and maybe threats.

01:43:08.920 It doesn't, it doesn't excuse it, but it is an explanation.

01:43:11.520 And I think that's going to be the interesting fight is like, it's like a much more pragmatic

01:43:16.060 assessment of Trump's legacy versus like a Puritan.

01:43:19.980 Yeah.

01:43:20.180 He, he got manipulated by external forces a lot throughout there to make certain decisions.

01:43:24.800 So he was, he was under constant fire.

01:43:26.480 And I think that that was, it also doesn't help that he put those, some of those people around

01:43:31.500 him too.

01:43:32.060 Oh, it's totally on him.

01:43:33.120 Yeah.

01:43:33.360 Yeah.

01:43:33.560 He put, which, but this just makes more of a point of why, like this idea that we're going

01:43:37.100 to take over the presidency and like somehow change the world is ridiculous.

01:43:40.240 They're always, if you have anyone who changed it, I mean, sure.

01:43:42.940 I'm not like trying to make like any political argument.

01:43:44.640 I'm saying specifically for the federal executive level, like that's like anyone who's like,

01:43:49.480 Oh, we're going to get so-and-so in there and change the world.

01:43:51.440 Like, yeah, maybe he'll get shot or be useless, but like, yeah, that's not happening,

01:43:56.560 brother.

01:43:56.920 Like, I mean, maybe you can make some sort of argument of infiltrating local areas or, you know,

01:44:01.060 I don't know, there's other arguments, but the executive branch, that's not, that's

01:44:04.120 a no-go dog.

01:44:04.780 What about if we like, like go up to some guy in Florida and like yell at him to take

01:44:11.460 a picture with us as we're saying that he's a gun hater?

01:44:17.500 Point being with this is that I think if you, if you aren't familiar with Sticks' debate

01:44:23.680 skills, you're going to be, you're going to be impressed.

01:44:26.120 This guy is fucking sharp as shit and he's going to come in super prepared.

01:44:29.600 So Dave, if, if Dave is like sleeping on him, I'm like, it's the first time I've ever even

01:44:35.720 considered for a second that Dave could lose a debate.

01:44:37.720 And I don't want him to, because I think Dave has the truth on his side and I think that

01:44:40.940 he'll win it.

01:44:41.580 So I'm not really worried, but I'm just saying like, if anyone could fuck with Dave, like

01:44:45.180 Sticks is up there.

01:44:46.020 He's very, very sharp.

01:44:47.140 He's had some challenging, challenging debates.

01:44:49.120 Though, though, though.

01:44:50.260 Though when Eric Brakey, like he's had a couple that were.

01:44:52.860 I thought the best debate Dave ever had was against Spike, honestly, on the immigration.

01:44:56.420 No, I think it was against Archie.

01:44:57.620 I mean, with, with this debate though, it is going to be highly technical and going to

01:45:01.300 specific aspects of his, of what he did and stuff.

01:45:04.060 So I, I can kind of see how that would like get you in the weeds.

01:45:06.400 And honestly, there is like a fair argument to be had to some extent of how he got manipulated

01:45:10.960 around a little bit, but yeah.

01:45:13.100 Uh, all right.

01:45:13.800 We want to do plugs.

01:45:14.580 Get out of here.

01:45:15.920 That was, that was a plug at, uh, Liberty LogPod on Twitter.

01:45:19.380 I am 650 fucking followers away from 50,000.

01:45:22.100 I have been basically stagnant on followers for a month because they have shadowed the

01:45:26.220 fuck out of me.

01:45:27.220 So if you guys could help me out, I'd appreciate it.

01:45:29.020 And then, uh, Liberty Lockdown everywhere, everywhere else.

01:45:31.380 And make sure that you do not miss either of those episodes with Dave.

01:45:34.240 They're obviously going to be huge.

01:45:35.540 The one with Styx is going to be the biggest episode I've ever done.

01:45:37.320 I wouldn't be surprised if it gets like 50,000 hits.

01:45:39.540 It's going to be crazy.

01:45:40.740 Hell yeah.

01:45:41.600 Yeah.

01:45:42.380 And, uh, Styx is pretty big, isn't he?

01:45:44.120 Like he's pretty like.

01:45:44.820 He's fucking huge.

01:45:45.780 He's got, he's got a like triple the size YouTube channel as Dave.

01:45:49.580 That's crazy.

01:45:50.340 It was, he, is he the one that you're saying that he does it all by himself?

01:45:53.280 Or is that some, or is that a not, that's no, they both, they both do it all by themselves.

01:45:57.220 I think he does.

01:45:58.460 Him and Anomaly.

01:45:59.440 And they both, they both hate each other.

01:46:01.240 And every time I post a promo for this fucking debate, Anomaly goes, this bitch won't admit

01:46:05.400 that Trump is responsible for Anomaly.

01:46:07.780 It's crazy, dude.

01:46:09.160 And now I'm like.

01:46:09.780 They should debate.

01:46:10.720 He's so wholesome but petty.

01:46:12.420 Like it's so weird.

01:46:13.240 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:46:13.400 Anomaly.

01:46:14.260 Oh, I love Anomaly though.

01:46:15.380 Like I think, I think he's, you know, his heart's in the right place, but he is definitely

01:46:18.400 being a little bit petty about this one.

01:46:19.840 Cause he's like, until he admits it, I will not debate him again.

01:46:22.080 I was like, isn't that like what the point of the debate is?

01:46:24.860 Well, all right.

01:46:27.940 I'm Jose Gellison of the No Way Jose show.

01:46:30.300 So, uh, I kind of took the week off cause I got a strike when I had, uh, did my four

01:46:34.440 pony boys show with Clint Reed and top.

01:46:37.260 Uh, we questioned the election and that got us got, uh, so I figured whatever is a good

01:46:41.540 excuse to take a week off, but I am on.

01:46:43.400 Jose, show us your tits.

01:46:45.940 No, no, no.

01:46:46.720 It needs to be towed.

01:46:47.440 It needs to be towed.

01:46:48.380 Toad.

01:46:48.660 Show us your tits.

01:46:49.140 Yeah.

01:46:49.620 So let's do a tow.

01:46:50.320 But yeah, I, uh, but I am, uh, I'm on with, uh, I'm on with Jackman tomorrow and then

01:46:56.560 I, uh, I am starting back up.

01:46:58.280 That's a great.

01:46:58.740 I got to move over here cause my name was in it.

01:47:01.280 And then, uh, I have, I have next week, I have Brandon Caserta coming back on cause

01:47:05.280 we're going to cover kind of the stuff cause there was the convictions that just happened

01:47:09.220 and he's been following the trial.

01:47:10.400 He was at the trial.

01:47:11.220 He actually had to plead the fifth because they literally threatened him to charge him

01:47:15.060 on a state level for the shit they charge him on a federal level.

01:47:17.700 If he dared fucking testify at the fucking, at those trials.

01:47:22.040 And there's a lot of fuckery that went on.

01:47:23.600 They let basically, if I was a boy, I would shut the fuck up.

01:47:27.440 Yeah, I know.

01:47:27.980 I don't know.

01:47:28.460 Whatever.

01:47:28.860 He just wants to talk.

01:47:29.840 I was like, no, come on.

01:47:31.460 Yeah.

01:47:31.900 Like, I mean, he's all about it.

01:47:32.780 If you're going to talk, at least talk to me.

01:47:35.080 Yeah.

01:47:35.520 I mean, it's wild.

01:47:36.620 And apparently there was a lot of fuckery in that trial.

01:47:39.120 Like apparently like, cause the whole point was they were like, they were arguing entrapment.

01:47:43.200 And then I guess the, the fucking, the judge basically made it.

01:47:46.520 So there was a ton of stuff.

01:47:47.460 Like basically all the, if I remember correctly, all the exchanges between them and the agents,

01:47:52.980 like the informants and whatever, they weren't allowed to see.

01:47:56.380 The judge declared them inadmissible.

01:47:57.700 It's unbelievable.

01:47:58.640 Which is like, that's literally what all of the argument of entrapment rides on is the

01:48:02.720 nature of their exchanges.

01:48:03.660 The judge made their defense impossible.

01:48:07.280 I mean, it's unbelievable.

01:48:08.920 It's wild.

01:48:09.560 So I know they'll probably get retrial, but I'm going to talk to Brandon.

01:48:11.860 Brandon's been following that a lot.

01:48:12.780 Obviously he was at the trial.

01:48:14.480 And then I have, I'm bringing Aaron on.

01:48:17.840 We're going to do a live reading of agorist class theory.

01:48:21.540 Cause it's all about commie shit and agorism.

01:48:23.400 So that'll be fun.

01:48:23.860 They want to know about OKC.

01:48:25.500 When's your next OKC?

01:48:26.300 I have on the 6th, I have Booth coming back on.

01:48:30.080 We're going to continue it.

01:48:31.060 Cause he had this month, he had like a weird schedule change.

01:48:34.120 So we're unable to do it this month.

01:48:35.480 So I was only able to get you one.

01:48:36.380 When's the next Pony Boys?

01:48:38.060 I don't know.

01:48:38.480 I don't have one scheduled.

01:48:39.460 I'll probably have to hit up.

01:48:40.460 Get your fucking shit together, dude.

01:48:42.100 Yeah, I know, dude.

01:48:43.200 I didn't think about the big guests.

01:48:45.080 I mean, Dave.

01:48:45.520 Oh, yo, yo.

01:48:46.140 There's no one bigger than the Pony Boys.

01:48:49.040 Dude, let's do it.

01:48:50.080 You said you wanted me to come on and read Chaos Theory.

01:48:52.820 So I got to.

01:48:53.400 I do.

01:48:54.020 I want you to get a physical copy of Chaos Theory.

01:48:56.120 We're going to do a live reading series of it.

01:48:57.560 You want me to do Hoppa, so.

01:48:59.360 Yeah, I need to get you.

01:49:00.280 I mean, if you want to buy me Democracy, the God that Failed, we'll do it.

01:49:02.920 Although I think it's a long book.

01:49:04.300 You're going to have to basically only do a Pony Boys every 30 days so that your strikes

01:49:08.420 can fall off.

01:49:09.480 Exactly.

01:49:10.400 That's nice.

01:49:11.140 All right.

01:49:12.500 All right.

01:49:13.420 What's all that?

01:49:13.920 Oh, send your Jose 2020 on Twitter.

01:49:16.040 Yeah.

01:49:17.360 Two and a half takes for Cole.

01:49:19.200 No, that's not it.

01:49:20.160 I actually texted because I've had people.

01:49:22.000 I have people like message me like, what's he coming on?

01:49:24.180 Like, I'm like, they have fucking.

01:49:26.120 Lives.

01:49:26.780 One guy, Steve just had a baby, so he's like really fucking.

01:49:30.220 All right.

01:49:30.720 Well.

01:49:31.320 But note for P on, I can't really change that, but.

01:49:34.620 Yeah, note for P.

01:49:36.420 TPH underscore Toad is where I'm at right now.

01:49:39.540 My appeal was unsuccessful, so I think I'm fucked.

01:49:42.860 Tower Power Hour.

01:49:43.820 Next week, we were going to fill out the September slurs bracket and be talking about slurs the

01:49:49.180 entire month of September.

01:49:50.940 Fuck yeah.

01:49:51.420 We'll do a September 11th episode as well.

01:49:54.200 What?

01:49:54.800 Follow Top and Read also.

01:49:56.460 Yeah.

01:49:56.720 Oh, fuck yeah.

01:49:57.320 Oh, not Read.

01:49:59.420 I also want to just mention for anybody that missed it, I did an episode with Crack Connoisseur

01:50:03.780 from Twitter who's now nuked, but Jinx is what we call him.

01:50:06.360 And it was a super interesting episode.

01:50:08.280 It's my favorite episode you've ever done.

01:50:09.940 Yeah.

01:50:10.080 It's very unique.

01:50:11.980 It's got like 1,500 views or something like that on YouTube, so people are digging it.

01:50:15.840 Can you say what you heard from a follower?

01:50:19.620 What's one?

01:50:20.100 That he got talked about by Shane.

01:50:22.120 Wasn't that you that sent me that?

01:50:23.560 No, I didn't send you that.

01:50:24.440 What?

01:50:25.160 You sent that to us.

01:50:27.420 What?

01:50:28.020 Oh, that's right.

01:50:28.960 No, that wasn't you.

01:50:29.760 Who sent me that?

01:50:30.880 Yeah.

01:50:31.140 I can't remember who sent me it.

01:50:32.120 Anyways, Shane Gillis on Secret Time with Matt and Shane, which is another big, big podcast.

01:50:39.080 Because they brought up the interview, or like one of his friends brings up the interview

01:50:42.700 on Secret Time, and I was like, oh my God, they're going to say Liberty Lockdown.

01:50:46.540 They're going to say Clint Russell or something.

01:50:47.680 No, nothing.

01:50:48.240 But they did talk about it, so that was kind of cool.

01:50:50.080 All right.

01:50:50.780 Yeah.

01:50:51.480 I'd like to think they were Liberty Lockdown followers, but I feel like it's probably more

01:50:54.660 likely they followed Jinx, considering their persuasions.

01:50:57.920 But maybe, maybe not.

01:50:58.680 I don't know.

01:51:00.040 I thought Shane might know from the Richest Gank competition.

01:51:07.600 I don't know if he was on during that.

01:51:09.060 I thought he was on one of them that you talked about, that you got on there.

01:51:11.980 I can't remember.

01:51:12.440 He might have been, but he's not going to connect the dots.

01:51:14.600 No, no, no.

01:51:15.240 I know he's not.

01:51:15.880 But that was just...

01:51:17.480 I do have Jinx's alt.

01:51:20.420 I'm trying to find it for you guys.

01:51:21.920 It is Freemason, but it's spelled M-A-Y-S-U-N.

01:51:25.920 Yeah, there you go.

01:51:27.120 So you guys can go follow him.

01:51:28.160 He's already back up to 3,700 followers, so he's picking up your team.

01:51:33.100 Yeah.

01:51:33.340 All right.

01:51:34.200 Sweet.

01:51:35.180 Thanks, everybody.

01:51:36.180 Peace out, dudes.

Tower Gang - August 26, 2022

Ep 85 - Butthole Kegels

Episode Stats

Length

Words per Minute

Word Count

Sentence Count

Misogynist Sentences

Hate Speech Sentences

Summary

Transcript