Tower Gang - Ep 88 - Funnier Than Figs w⧸ Tyler Janke, Garbage Mane & Adam Nutter

00:00:00.980 What's up, retards? 1.00

00:00:02.500 The funniest 9-11 jokes were written on 9-12. 1.00

00:00:05.200 Women jerk off dicks like fucking they're an unruly ferret. 1.00

00:00:08.280 Yeah. 1.00

00:00:09.340 You ever had a 9-11 cocktail?

00:00:12.220 It's in Manhattan with two kamikazes. 0.97

00:00:14.400 And now, now.

00:00:16.680 You see, the socialists don't have an accurate answer for this, and she needs to account for it. 0.96

00:00:21.280 White women must be stopped. 1.00

00:00:23.280 That's right. 0.99

00:00:24.320 Yeah. 0.99

00:00:26.460 We can stay horny and retarded longer than she can stay sane. 1.00

00:00:30.800 What? 1.00

00:00:30.980 Your ass-to-penis ratio. 1.00

00:00:33.580 Ben, maybe you could say we had sex, but we didn't fuck. 1.00

00:00:36.000 You said nigger. 1.00

00:00:36.960 Oh, Jesus. 0.99

00:00:38.260 Whee! 1.00

00:00:39.880 Fat Dave, fuck you, man. 1.00

00:00:41.640 Whee! 1.00

00:00:42.540 Whee! 1.00

00:00:42.980 Whee! 1.00

00:00:46.260 What's up, faggots? 1.00

00:00:48.160 That's great. 0.99

00:00:50.000 It's another episode of Tower of Power Hour, this time without most of the boring characters.

00:00:55.060 So we just brought in some other boring characters instead.

00:00:58.060 We had a failed comic, a failed engineer, whatever garbage man does, a failed racist, and then me and Jose. 0.99

00:01:07.220 So we're going to have fun because everybody else's pussies or two are shitting themselves. 1.00

00:01:13.220 Clint's too old. 0.99

00:01:14.300 Toad, I think, is going to Tom Wood's birthday party for little kids.

00:01:22.920 That's what he's doing.

00:01:23.460 So it's just me and Jose. 1.00

00:01:26.720 So we decided to bite on all these assholes. 1.00

00:01:29.120 Well, not completely. 1.00

00:01:30.360 I mean, it was partly because you guys screwed up and planned yours tonight, and we had scheduled ours.

00:01:34.820 I think that was you guys because we never said we weren't doing one this week, and we always do it at the same time.

00:01:40.380 All we said is we were rescheduling last week's to Sunday.

00:01:44.280 Didn't you do a 9-11?

00:01:46.140 Yes, we did a 9-11, yeah.

00:01:47.580 I mean, I guess technically that's this week since it was Sunday, but whatever. 0.99

00:01:51.480 Dave Smith's throwing a fucking monkey wrench and everything. 0.98

00:01:53.360 I was supposed to have Jose and fucking Top on, and then I got pushed back. 0.98

00:01:56.600 I'm sorry. 0.85

00:01:56.960 I'm better looking than Dave anyway.

00:01:58.040 I'm saying it right now.

00:01:58.700 I'm better looking than Dave Smith.

00:02:00.000 Let's go.

00:02:00.400 I'll give you the body.

00:02:03.940 Actually, the body 100%, plus I think the tattoos for you.

00:02:07.640 I think tattoos on a slim body look way better. 0.99

00:02:13.680 No, shut up. 1.00

00:02:14.360 I already took it as you said it to me, and now we're going with that forever. 1.00

00:02:17.280 Shut up. 0.99

00:02:17.700 And you have a better beard. 1.00

00:02:18.860 Your beard is 100% better than his.

00:02:20.220 100% better.

00:02:21.020 Thank you.

00:02:21.980 Thank you.

00:02:22.200 It's like almost too good. 0.99

00:02:23.400 I feel like you do that dying shit that Pete totally did. 0.99

00:02:27.140 I'm great all over here. 1.00

00:02:29.060 You touch a gray. 1.00

00:02:30.680 I just dye it like fucking Lemmy. 0.99

00:02:33.560 It's like the Jack Murphy, the metrosexual. 0.99

00:02:36.320 I'm going to dye it just perfectly.

00:02:40.240 By the way, tattoos on a really skinny guy is a very – it's like the gateway to meth.

00:02:44.760 I mean that guy is very close to it. 0.51

00:02:47.100 You're either a meth head or you just really like to look awesome. 0.78

00:02:51.700 I mean I think – 0.96

00:02:52.860 Okay, yeah.

00:02:54.120 Tattoos are an inspiration.

00:02:55.220 Someone wants to be on Nutter's show.

00:02:56.940 All right, Cole.

00:02:57.620 What's the over-under on Dave?

00:02:58.880 I've been on The Cult of Us.

00:03:00.940 I mean and then his other one.

00:03:02.420 And Porcupine.

00:03:02.640 I don't know.

00:03:02.860 Yeah.

00:03:03.540 Cole's been on everything.

00:03:04.940 I haven't been on The Porcupine.

00:03:07.260 Yeah, you have.

00:03:08.300 Oh, yeah.

00:03:08.820 That's right.

00:03:09.240 I was.

00:03:09.480 Definitely have.

00:03:10.080 Which we were talking before.

00:03:15.620 I said Adam's been having some great guests on The Cult of Us except for Mike Figgs.

00:03:20.260 Oh, my God.

00:03:21.500 I cannot stand him.

00:03:23.120 I'm going to be straight up.

00:03:24.100 I don't – I feel so bad having an irrational hatred for someone who's done nothing to me.

00:03:28.220 But he's just so horribly unfunny.

00:03:31.300 There's a couple of those that come on Legion of Skanks.

00:03:33.840 It was Mike Figgs is one that I don't like.

00:03:35.560 Dude, I get so mad.

00:03:37.500 Like, you're ruining a show like that.

00:03:39.520 The guy.

00:03:40.380 Yes.

00:03:41.240 Because he's – he just – he doesn't get it.

00:03:43.440 He just talks.

00:03:44.480 Yes.

00:03:45.160 He doesn't get the jokes.

00:03:46.340 He doesn't get comedy.

00:03:47.720 And I'm not that funny.

00:03:48.480 Who – is Mike Figgs the guy who runs the LP New Hampshire account? 0.99

00:03:54.860 Fags. 1.00

00:03:55.500 It's Mike Fags. 1.00

00:03:56.440 Mike Fags. 0.95

00:03:58.260 Figs is a good guy.

00:03:59.140 I will have Figs Slander. 1.00

00:04:00.900 I'm sure he's a great guy.

00:04:02.680 I – God, he ruins podcasts.

00:04:04.760 I – you know what it is, dude? 1.00

00:04:05.920 I think, like, on LOS, like, you got to really, you know, know your shit. 1.00

00:04:10.280 And I think – 1.00

00:04:11.400 And you're saying he doesn't.

00:04:12.140 He doesn't know.

00:04:13.580 Yeah.

00:04:15.260 He just goes to the Mike Figgs well too much.

00:04:17.060 He's like, oh, we're going to have a guest this week.

00:04:17.980 Let's go bring in Mike Figgs.

00:04:18.980 He's like – or he could just get somebody else.

00:04:21.420 We have noticed because we like to flirt and try to get some, like, comedians in our show.

00:04:25.680 And it is – there are people who are good comedians but they're not good comedic podcasters.

00:04:31.140 Luke Perez.

00:04:31.340 I'm not going to name any – yeah, okay.

00:04:32.640 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:04:32.960 I'm not going to name names.

00:04:34.220 I'm not her.

00:04:35.180 Solid.

00:04:36.240 I'm just kidding.

00:04:37.300 One of our worst episodes ever.

00:04:39.280 So Figgs, for all I know, could be a hilarious stand-up comedian.

00:04:42.780 I despise him in podcast format.

00:04:45.460 You know he's not.

00:04:47.400 I don't – no, I don't know.

00:04:48.540 No, you do.

00:04:49.200 You do.

00:04:49.920 There's no way that guy's a funny stand-up.

00:04:53.020 We bring Adam on and just destroy his friends.

00:04:56.380 Just kidding.

00:04:57.620 He's funny, guys.

00:04:59.080 This is like last night though.

00:05:00.520 You guys are ripping on Alex Jones as Clint is hoping he's still coming on his show.

00:05:06.680 So, you know, we do.

00:05:07.840 It's fine.

00:05:07.960 I'm going back on rap next month already.

00:05:09.300 He's already confirmed.

00:05:09.820 Me and Neil are going, we're fine.

00:05:10.720 Can we talk about it for a second?

00:05:12.040 You're going back on Real House Podcast again?

00:05:14.180 Your third time.

00:05:15.060 And Neil's first, too.

00:05:16.240 Neil's first.

00:05:17.020 Yeah.

00:05:17.560 Good for you.

00:05:18.680 I got to talk Holocaust revisionism with Dave last night. 0.99

00:05:21.620 I got to say nigger. 1.00

00:05:23.020 I fucking – 1.00

00:05:23.900 Reed pooped. 1.00

00:05:25.780 We argued.

00:05:27.100 And I think this is one of the only times where someone's disagreed.

00:05:29.780 Aside from maybe like the Spike thing, but it was like more formal.

00:05:32.860 They completely disagreed.

00:05:34.140 And like no one really backed down.

00:05:36.240 And it wasn't like – I don't think anyone got steamrolled.

00:05:39.680 You know, I mean, Tyler keeps framing it like it was taken to the woodshed.

00:05:42.460 I don't think it was at all.

00:05:44.240 But, yeah.

00:05:45.140 I don't know.

00:05:45.800 It was definitely a weird combination of things.

00:05:48.980 You have to admit, at one point, I'm looking at Reed.

00:05:52.580 Now, granted, his video did freeze, but it looked like he was in a catatonic state just kind of looking. 1.00

00:05:58.240 As Dave is talking about how ridiculous the LPNH – stupid. 1.00

00:06:02.360 He keeps calling it stupid and ridiculous. 1.00

00:06:04.920 And Reed's right there. 1.00

00:06:07.200 He's kind of one of the guys doing it.

00:06:08.940 So it was a little fun.

00:06:10.420 Yeah, that was funny.

00:06:11.620 And it was – I think it was probably – I mean, definitely I'm sure it will get the views.

00:06:15.620 So for me, it's good in that aspect.

00:06:16.700 I actually wasn't trying to make a confrontational because I didn't really – I wasn't really interested in that aspect.

00:06:21.980 I don't think there's –

00:06:22.460 Oh, the agorist isn't interested in the party policy?

00:06:24.960 No, it's not even that.

00:06:25.760 I think you're wrong.

00:06:26.960 I find that stuff juicy, but a lot of the stuff is like behind-the-scenes stuff that you don't want to say out loud. 0.84

00:06:32.040 So to like – and, you know, I wasn't – not shit we're going to air out.

00:06:35.760 So it's like it wasn't really a conversation I wanted to have like that on the open. 0.90

00:06:39.560 So it's like what can I say?

00:06:40.840 What can I?

00:06:41.600 And also I don't really feel like there was any – I knew it was just going to be, well, this is what I think.

00:06:45.980 And this is what I think.

00:06:46.660 I don't agree with you.

00:06:47.600 I don't agree with you.

00:06:48.320 And it's like I didn't really see what the point of it was, but that's where it went.

00:06:51.620 So, okay.

00:06:52.740 I mean, I guess they got to lay out their points, but I feel like Dave's probably heard them before.

00:06:56.120 So I don't know.

00:06:56.780 There was a lot of sexual tension going on there.

00:06:59.300 Yeah.

00:06:59.800 There was.

00:07:00.380 There was actually some sexual tension in there.

00:07:02.400 I was backstage.

00:07:03.940 I don't know why you did that. 1.00

00:07:06.000 What was the point that you can watch on YouTube, you fucking weirdo? 0.99

00:07:08.420 So I was sitting in bed and Alyssa was like, are you getting on? 0.99

00:07:12.780 I was like, no.

00:07:13.340 I'm just in here to troll them to hopefully – because I think Jose saw it one time.

00:07:18.560 I saw it every time. 1.00

00:07:19.940 And I was like, what the fuck? 0.99

00:07:21.020 And it throws me off because, like, it's top hopping in. 0.99

00:07:23.620 And I'm like, but I don't see a fucking picture because you don't put the picture up. 0.55

00:07:26.960 And so I'm like, I'm waiting for him to bring it up. 0.97

00:07:28.420 And I knew. 0.99

00:07:29.240 I'm like, this is fucking cold. 1.00

00:07:30.860 This motherfucker. 1.00

00:07:33.300 Like throwing me off my train of thought. 1.00

00:07:34.820 I was getting the live chat to type in in the chat to have me come on.

00:07:38.800 And I was trying to do everything I could.

00:07:41.160 Dude, when you have a guest like that, it's so hard to pay attention to the chat.

00:07:44.380 Cole was like a male groupie trying to slide into, like, a Led Zeppelin country.

00:07:47.640 I just wanted to feel like he was a part of something.

00:07:50.960 Yeah.

00:07:51.200 I was outside the door with my legs wide open.

00:07:53.780 Yeah.

00:07:54.000 And Cole's like, right?

00:07:56.220 And they're like, no.

00:08:00.360 It's like a sub three groupie. 1.00

00:08:02.680 Just like a, like just some fat, ugly dick. 1.00

00:08:06.140 Ouch! 1.00

00:08:08.060 It's like, we still haven't gotten enough beer or got enough cocaine to even fuck you, 1.00

00:08:12.500 you ugly whore. 1.00

00:08:13.500 It's like, that security guy was getting fired after that night. 1.00

00:08:18.180 Someone said in the chat, maybe if they just stuck with conspiracy theories, everyone would

00:08:22.280 still be here.

00:08:23.160 I'm assuming they're implying our other hosts. 0.84

00:08:26.540 Um, I just found that funny because it's like, it made me realize that, holy shit, we actually 0.95

00:08:32.520 picked up fans in our conspiracy. 0.61

00:08:34.400 Like, that's what they know us as in the conspiracy podcast.

00:08:38.420 Like, we've taken on so many different forms that like, we have like different little sex 0.99

00:08:42.580 of fucking fans. 0.99

00:08:43.600 Your flat earth Dave one, that was big. 1.00

00:08:46.900 That was, that, looking back on it, I'm like, wow, that guy is actually like pretty like well

00:08:51.800 known within this very weird niche community.

00:08:54.520 He's very well known.

00:08:56.240 Yes.

00:08:56.740 It is very weird when I, whenever I like think back, like, wait, we had that person on? 0.99

00:09:01.460 What the fuck? 0.75

00:09:02.100 Personally, that was one of my least favorite episodes, but like it got a shitload of views. 0.99

00:09:06.380 The only thing that was good about it, it was like, there was a great payoff for like

00:09:10.220 the Holocaust thing with him.

00:09:13.100 Oh yeah.

00:09:13.720 Right.

00:09:13.920 It was like one of the Holocaust. 0.96

00:09:15.320 He was like, did it happen?

00:09:17.860 Or he was like, he kind of got nervous.

00:09:19.560 Like, uh, well, I mean, yeah, I mean, the numbers, I mean, they don't really, uh, add

00:09:23.560 up, uh, you know, like we can, Oh no, he was the one that said like, Oh, you put them

00:09:27.120 out all in the field and just let them starve to death.

00:09:30.140 It would take, it would take longer than they actually did.

00:09:34.080 It's like, no, he said it would be, no, no.

00:09:36.940 He said it would be faster to just, uh, put them all in a field.

00:09:40.660 And cause I did a, I put that on one of my clip shows.

00:09:43.680 I'm like, this is impossible.

00:09:45.200 You're not going to, first of all, you could cannibalize.

00:09:47.340 And so when people start dying, you could, you know, have, you have instant food and

00:09:51.040 you can't, if you have a 6 million people, let's just say that number, uh, how are you

00:09:54.940 going to keep them in close?

00:09:56.100 It just doesn't make sense.

00:09:57.160 So is this, I don't know.

00:10:01.140 That's why I, that's why I love, you know, really niche, like conspiracy theories, because

00:10:04.960 they can't help themselves.

00:10:06.000 If you believe in flat earth, there is no way you're going to believe the Holocaust. 0.92

00:10:09.460 I mean, that's, I mean, legitimately like you've already, you already believe something.

00:10:14.080 Yeah.

00:10:14.220 Yep.

00:10:14.340 That was what he was like, I don't know, this might get me canceled.

00:10:17.940 Wait a second.

00:10:19.520 The flat earth is, is not going to do it.

00:10:21.700 Right.

00:10:22.140 You know what?

00:10:22.720 I'm all for this, by the way.

00:10:25.780 We, we, we, we have heard about that and, uh, we all enjoyed it.

00:10:29.960 We said we're a literal gang. 0.99

00:10:31.920 Um, I don't give a fuck. 0.98

00:10:33.300 Like you're not going to, people like try to make that appeal to us. 0.99

00:10:36.400 You're gonna be like, oh, you're telling me I'm making political moves while not doing 1.00

00:10:39.740 any of your gay shit. 1.00

00:10:40.980 Good. 1.00

00:10:43.360 I think, I think someone on Twitter the other day, they were like, if LPNH isn't gonna,

00:10:48.160 uh, buy by, you know, the LP rules, maybe they should just secede.

00:10:51.480 And I was just, and I was thinking that's what they probably want to do.

00:10:55.280 They probably legitimately would rather like, they don't care.

00:10:58.980 No, they were like a lot.

00:11:00.560 Like you talk to those guys and it very much was like, yeah, by even doing all this, you're

00:11:04.140 more or less just doing you a favor. 0.98

00:11:05.460 Cause they, those guys really just don't give a fuck about any of the other things. 1.00

00:11:09.580 They doubled down today on the Meghan McCain shit. 1.00

00:11:12.020 It's amazing. 1.00

00:11:12.600 I saw that.

00:11:13.540 Now that you mentioned, uh, now that you mentioned I'm anti-Semitic, I might have to stay with 1.00

00:11:17.500 the union.

00:11:21.020 By the way, I love, I love your background.

00:11:23.180 It's so amazing.

00:11:24.460 Like, did you at least take the picture?

00:11:27.100 Like the, not the flag, which I think that's actually there, isn't it?

00:11:31.580 That the flag is actually behind you.

00:11:32.940 No, it's a bit.

00:11:33.940 Oh, I thought the flag might be right actually behind him because I could see that.

00:11:37.800 No, it's, it's, but you took the picture, the actual, the background picture, right?

00:11:42.620 You definitely took that.

00:11:43.920 No, but I would, uh, what's the, there's a black Confederate guy on YouTube and I just

00:11:48.780 Photoshopped George Floyd's face over him.

00:11:51.580 I forget his name, but he, no, I forget his name, but he's actually really good on like 0.99

00:11:56.700 Southern history shit. 0.99

00:11:58.720 Ryan Dawson. 1.00

00:11:59.620 Dude, I saw a clip.

00:12:03.480 I don't know what it was, but there was, it was Ryan Dawson talking, but the dude is like,

00:12:09.100 he's done so podcasts and stuff for so long.

00:12:12.220 He was literally laying down, just talk.

00:12:14.740 He was like on a couch, just like with a microphone.

00:12:17.300 He's just like, yeah.

00:12:18.640 And the Jews, I'm like, dude, just like giving up. 1.00

00:12:23.500 He had a debate the other night or coming up with Jay Dyer or whatever.

00:12:28.780 I don't know if y'all know who that is.

00:12:29.820 It should be interesting.

00:12:30.760 I didn't realize I was very much like, I was like, I think Jay will wipe the floor with him. 0.98

00:12:34.200 But I guess Reed was saying, uh, fucking, um, what's his face? 1.00

00:12:37.980 Uh, Ryan went to school for that shit. 1.00

00:12:39.700 So it may not really actually be a slaughter. 1.00

00:12:42.080 Cause I know it brought to mind the whole thing where he was like challenging Dave on

00:12:45.540 anarchy a while ago.

00:12:46.340 I'm like, dude, you're barking up the wrong tree. 1.00

00:12:48.260 You're going to get fucked. 1.00

00:12:50.300 Ryan, Ryan went to college. 1.00

00:12:52.200 Yeah, I guess so.

00:12:53.420 Oh, I can't imagine what he was like in college.

00:12:55.520 Oh my God.

00:12:58.380 Dawson's had some, uh, good debates.

00:13:00.480 He debated, uh, Nick Fuentes.

00:13:02.540 That was pretty good. 0.71

00:13:03.920 He should debate black mutualists. 0.99

00:13:05.660 Would you believe he went to an all black college? 0.96

00:13:07.740 He went to an HBCU.

00:13:09.620 I was going to say, Jackson State.

00:13:11.960 Yeah, Jackson State.

00:13:13.860 Right out for Deion Sanders' team.

00:13:16.180 Didn't make the cut.

00:13:18.060 Or Alabama State University.

00:13:19.680 I think it's ASU.

00:13:20.380 That's another HBCU.

00:13:22.460 All right. 0.99

00:13:22.740 That'd be so fucking funny. 1.00

00:13:23.800 You guys want to start getting into these faggots, uh, in the, in the back? 1.00

00:13:26.940 Um, would we just have two? 0.99

00:13:29.080 Uh, I mean, I guess you can kind of run this Tyler cause this is your stick.

00:13:33.400 Go ahead.

00:13:34.200 Go ahead.

00:13:34.400 I was going to say what we're going to do is we're going to have them do your whole,

00:13:36.780 your whole rigmarole.

00:13:38.340 And then we're going to have them stick around after.

00:13:40.400 And we're going to like pick off rounds of the, uh, the slurman. 0.95

00:13:44.260 Tyler, you got to explain it to me because I haven't seen the show.

00:13:46.680 So you've never seen kill Tony.

00:13:48.260 So I actually was watching kill Tony yesterday, but I haven't seen, uh, did

00:13:51.940 you see the Ari, uh, that one? 0.66

00:13:53.720 Yes.

00:13:53.960 That one was so great.

00:13:55.060 I didn't think it was as good as the one with just Joe Rogan before, but needless

00:13:58.960 to say, uh, it's just like that. 0.86

00:14:01.260 There's these losers are going to come on and not losers, uh, Eric, uh, they're 0.98

00:14:05.380 going to come on. 0.99

00:14:05.920 They're going to have their one minute rant about whatever they want. 1.00

00:14:08.620 Faggot. 1.00

00:14:09.280 Faggot pieces of shit. 1.00

00:14:11.280 Who are sitting backstage like cucks. 1.00

00:14:13.300 They're going to come on.

00:14:14.160 We'd be totally respectful to him.

00:14:15.320 Go for a minute, for a minute.

00:14:17.540 When they hear this, if you can hear that, do you hear that?

00:14:21.880 Yeah. 0.99

00:14:22.240 When you're scratching your balls, dude. 1.00

00:14:24.800 That's when it, there's time to shut it up. 0.99

00:14:26.620 Uh, but you know, if they go over too long, then you're going to hear this one for Adolf 0.57

00:14:29.940 Hitler as the libertarian party candidate. 0.59

00:14:32.920 Okay.

00:14:33.260 So that's, that's when that's like the Hollywood bear.

00:14:35.560 There we go.

00:14:36.040 So, and then we can talk to him.

00:14:38.000 We do this by the way, toad came on.

00:14:40.200 He was a brilliant, uh, but Andy and I, you know, we run this show.

00:14:43.260 And so let's bring on our first guest.

00:14:46.040 Who do you want to go first?

00:14:47.940 Let's, let's P Nord it up.

00:14:49.460 Okay.

00:14:50.000 All right.

00:14:50.340 All right.

00:14:50.600 Wait, wait, wait, hold on before, before this happens, before this happens, uh, yes, we're

00:14:56.080 going to bring on P Nord.

00:14:59.120 Yes.

00:14:59.580 So if you guys haven't met, you know who he is, you should know he's been a very big

00:15:04.080 fan of our show for a long time.

00:15:05.880 It was one of our biggest fans.

00:15:07.620 So something, by the way, I never thought we would bring him on the show.

00:15:11.580 Some of you, some of you are going to say that's not P Nord, that's toad, but you're

00:15:16.200 not wrong.

00:15:17.060 Okay.

00:15:17.240 All right.

00:15:20.560 Let's do it.

00:15:21.320 The floor is yours. 0.99

00:15:24.260 Oh shit. 1.00

00:15:25.100 We got P Nord in the house. 1.00

00:15:26.960 Can you hear us?

00:15:27.500 Dawson is right.

00:15:28.760 Yes, indeed.

00:15:29.860 Okay.

00:15:30.300 So, uh, P Nord, you know, this, uh, look at your shirt.

00:15:32.820 Uh, so you know how this goes.

00:15:34.280 You got your minute to go here.

00:15:35.660 You've got a much different audience than the one you normally do.

00:15:39.340 Uh, but you ready to go?

00:15:40.780 We're going to, I'm going to hit the, okay.

00:15:42.320 Ready?

00:15:42.600 Your time's up.

00:15:43.240 Go.

00:15:44.360 Alrighty.

00:15:45.100 So, uh, I thought of a different story when I thought it was just going to be a kill

00:15:48.620 pods, but, uh, just as I was in the back room, I thought of a great story

00:15:53.160 that you guys would love.

00:15:54.620 So I, uh, so Spokane comedy club, they opened up like 2015, maybe early 2016.

00:16:00.700 Um, I, I came back to Spokane a little bit before, a little bit after they just opened

00:16:06.200 up like a few months.

00:16:07.160 Um, but, so caught it right at the beginning anyway.

00:16:10.140 Um, uh, one of the nights Andrew Schultz came and I showed up super early.

00:16:15.240 I had gotten sushi before and, um, and, but my eyes were bigger than my stomach.

00:16:20.960 And so I had a bunch of extra sushi left and, and I brought it to the comedy club.

00:16:25.560 Like thinking like, like I was friends with like, you know, like the waitresses and the

00:16:28.900 people there, the, you know, the managing stuff.

00:16:30.780 Were you really? 1.00

00:16:32.000 Shut up. 1.00

00:16:32.940 Shut up. 1.00

00:16:33.220 Hey, I get extra time for that motherfucker. 1.00

00:16:38.060 Um, so, uh, so no, nobody, nobody wanted it. 1.00

00:16:43.480 They're like, what the fuck did you just bring in sushi? 0.68

00:16:48.620 Can I finish it? 0.99

00:16:50.220 No, I'm almost done.

00:16:52.180 I'm almost done.

00:16:53.580 I mean, to be fair, we know the story of you bringing sushi.

00:16:56.540 So I don't know.

00:16:57.320 The Lord is a big fan of brevity.

00:16:59.980 My wife tells better stories.

00:17:01.580 Well, I finish it out.

00:17:03.220 Finish it.

00:17:03.680 That wasn't the story.

00:17:04.500 Okay.

00:17:04.960 So Andrew, right when I'm like, just like, you know, like, like Adolf Hitler, like who

00:17:09.280 wants to do it?

00:17:10.240 Andrew Schultz comes up.

00:17:11.380 All right.

00:17:11.720 That's it.

00:17:12.280 Your time is up.

00:17:13.620 You spent, you spent, you know how this goes.

00:17:15.720 You hear the crickets. 1.00

00:17:16.700 You still got about 20 some seconds to finish this shit up. 0.99

00:17:20.000 I, you, you ended like Andrew Bourdain. 0.99

00:17:22.380 Okay.

00:17:22.680 You self emulated yourself.

00:17:25.240 I don't understand what happened. 1.00

00:17:27.660 Motherfucker. 1.00

00:17:28.200 You learned to understand your stage presence, your time. 1.00

00:17:31.140 Uh, those things need to hammer out a little better.

00:17:33.500 Go back to workshop.

00:17:35.180 Does anybody want to hear the actual end of the story?

00:17:37.440 No, not at all.

00:17:38.100 No.

00:17:40.560 I kind of did, but I was able to laugh.

00:17:43.200 So I'm going to go with him now.

00:17:46.100 The point is being a homeless man tells stories like a homeless man.

00:17:49.640 So exactly.

00:17:50.560 Right.

00:17:50.820 Exactly.

00:17:51.560 That you, you, you get what you buy, right?

00:17:53.620 No.

00:17:54.100 The point is I, I had sushi with Andrew Schultz in the green room and that was the precipice

00:18:00.320 for West band for a year.

00:18:03.020 There you go.

00:18:04.020 I have no clue what that is.

00:18:05.380 Random sushi.

00:18:06.300 That's weird.

00:18:07.900 I'm still trying to figure out how that was a funny story.

00:18:12.160 You'll get it.

00:18:13.000 Dude.

00:18:13.280 Being in the green room.

00:18:14.100 That's why.

00:18:14.480 I mean, I get it, but I got to eat like a random fan's sushi.

00:18:21.120 He's like, yo bro, I got this sushi from leftover.

00:18:23.020 I'm like, I'm good, dude.

00:18:23.900 I'll just, I'll get my own.

00:18:25.300 I think Andrew Schultz is pretty well off.

00:18:27.260 I think he invited me in the green room.

00:18:30.420 He said, yes, I swear to God, this was 2016.

00:18:32.920 This toad stand in as a seamless.

00:18:37.200 Hit or miss.

00:18:38.520 Just, I think his batting average is the same.

00:18:40.740 So.

00:18:41.400 All right, let's get into it.

00:18:43.120 Now we got him here.

00:18:44.000 We'll do the first round.

00:18:45.500 You know, I'll go ahead and let you, you know, you're here.

00:18:48.060 I was a little bit disrespectful, but that's kind of your role here.

00:18:50.180 So, but just, you know, just to show him I'm a generous God.

00:18:53.560 I'll let you pick the bracket we go with, P-Nord. 0.78

00:18:57.400 Do you like Fudge Packer versus Pan-Faced Gook? 0.89

00:19:01.740 She-Mill versus Glow Nigger? 0.99

00:19:04.360 Cum Dumpster versus Yogurt Yeti?

00:19:06.920 Hole versus Sugarfoot?

00:19:10.040 Oh, by the way, before we do it, I heard another good one.

00:19:14.000 That I wish I'd heard before.

00:19:15.120 It was on Legion of Skanks.

00:19:16.220 It's Skybox. 1.00

00:19:17.220 And that's a fucking, that's a tall bitch. 1.00

00:19:19.380 It's a tall bitch. 1.00

00:19:20.280 Oh, shit. 1.00

00:19:21.220 Specifically, like, her pussy. 1.00

00:19:22.320 Like, it's kind of, like, way up there, you know? 1.00

00:19:23.840 So, Skybox.

00:19:24.460 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1.00

00:19:25.060 When the pussy's, like, up high. 1.00

00:19:26.800 Like, some girls, like, this. 1.00

00:19:28.240 Yeah.

00:19:28.340 There's no way you'd get in that situation, P-Nord. 1.00

00:19:34.560 I didn't even talk about the pussy's, like, way up here, and you have to, like, you know, 1.00

00:19:37.960 this never happened. 0.99

00:19:38.900 This is the best toad impression I've ever seen. 1.00

00:19:41.160 The fucking 40-year-old virgin all over again. 1.00

00:19:43.400 Like, it's like a bag of sand. 1.00

00:19:44.780 Oh, shit. 1.00

00:19:45.520 He's doing his laugh. 1.00

00:19:47.000 Easy.

00:19:47.700 Okay. 1.00

00:19:48.180 Oh, shit. 1.00

00:19:48.700 Please tell me I'm not that obnoxious and I laugh. 1.00

00:19:50.760 I know I have a wild laugh.

00:19:51.620 P-Nord, do you have any hot sauce on hand?

00:19:57.140 Unfortunately, I don't, man.

00:19:58.660 I just had to be stuck to free.

00:19:59.540 I need you to pick one or you're going to get booted.

00:20:01.640 You need to pick one.

00:20:02.660 Yep.

00:20:03.420 Yep, absolutely. 1.00

00:20:05.180 Let's go cum dumpster Yogurt Yeti. 1.00

00:20:07.360 Cum dumpster Yogurt Yeti. 0.99

00:20:08.540 He studied this.

00:20:09.420 I could tell.

00:20:09.960 I want to say Toad gave us his votes beforehand.

00:20:12.760 I don't remember them all, nor do I care to go look at them.

00:20:14.820 So, we're just going to look at them.

00:20:16.020 I'll look them up real quick. 1.00

00:20:17.180 No, fuck them. 1.00

00:20:18.660 No, no. 1.00

00:20:19.360 Tiebreaker.

00:20:19.800 He'll be a tiebreaker.

00:20:20.160 He's a tiebreaker.

00:20:21.120 That's it.

00:20:21.460 So, Toad, I'm sorry, but your votes don't count.

00:20:23.620 He's almost like kids are in an envelope.

00:20:25.480 I need a ruling real quick.

00:20:27.580 What is a Yogurt Yeti?

00:20:28.940 Same.

00:20:29.240 That was my next question.

00:20:30.920 Just a white guy? 1.00

00:20:31.660 A white guy with cum on him or just a white guy? 0.99

00:20:34.720 I think it's just – we were very – it's hard to find good white slurs because, again, 0.99

00:20:40.900 we're the best.

00:20:41.920 We kind of rushed the picking for the two.

00:20:44.660 Yeah, and so this was like the best we could get as far as just for white people. 0.70

00:20:48.660 So, Yogurt Yeti.

00:20:49.900 And if you want to go with it, I mean, you can maybe do like just a Canadian.

00:20:53.760 I think that was the other one. 0.99

00:20:55.460 Those are maple niggers. 1.00

00:20:57.240 I thought they were just called gay. 1.00

00:20:59.140 Yeah. 0.97

00:20:59.480 That's just gay. 1.00

00:21:00.560 Third world. 0.99

00:21:02.380 So, you didn't obviously ask any black guys because I'm sure they might have some slurs for white guys.

00:21:07.460 We don't have black friends.

00:21:09.040 So, it's kind of hard for us.

00:21:10.720 I mean, we could have had black mutuals on.

00:21:12.700 He probably could have gave us a couple.

00:21:13.640 Speak for yourself.

00:21:14.220 Andy's got one right behind him.

00:21:15.520 Andy, what's –

00:21:16.440 I was just going to say, Andy, that's a gentleman behind you.

00:21:18.920 Exactly.

00:21:19.760 I was just going to say that.

00:21:21.100 What does he call you?

00:21:23.000 Actually, Andy, what does your daughter call you?

00:21:26.060 What does my daughter call me? 0.97

00:21:27.360 That's probably the best.

00:21:28.600 Oh, okay.

00:21:29.080 There you go.

00:21:29.900 That's kind of a white slur because –

00:21:32.500 A bit of a stretch, but it landed. 0.94

00:21:37.860 Because only white people hear it.

00:21:40.260 It's a father. 0.91

00:21:40.900 Exactly.

00:21:42.180 Okay.

00:21:42.540 All right. 0.97

00:21:43.040 Actually, that would be a slur to a black guy, I guess. 0.92

00:21:45.140 Let's start from top to bottom to make it easier. 0.88

00:21:47.440 I'll go first.

00:21:49.020 Come Dumpster, Yogurt Yeti.

00:21:50.880 I'm going Yogurt Yeti.

00:21:51.760 Come Dumpster is just kind of bland.

00:21:53.360 It's had its time.

00:21:55.380 I mean, don't get me wrong.

00:21:55.880 I'm not like super excited about Yogurt Yeti either,

00:21:57.900 but I'm going to go with Yogurt Yeti.

00:21:59.940 I don't really care for this bracket too much,

00:22:02.500 but I like Yogurt Yeti better than Come Dumpster.

00:22:06.320 And plus, I think the hole versus Sugarfoot hole

00:22:08.740 is probably going to take it away,

00:22:09.840 and then hole versus Come Dumpster, you're like, eh.

00:22:12.320 Oh, wow.

00:22:13.240 I'm not going to try to give my – before we get there,

00:22:16.080 but I'm kind of going with the Sugarfoot on that one. 0.63

00:22:18.400 I like Sugarfoot, but hole is like –

00:22:20.340 No, we're not going to get into it.

00:22:21.360 We're not getting into it.

00:22:22.700 Sorry.

00:22:22.940 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:22:23.380 All right.

00:22:23.920 Yogurt Yeti, final thing for me.

00:22:25.760 All right, Tyler.

00:22:26.360 I got to go because so one's a taker 0.65

00:22:28.760 and one's a giver, I think,

00:22:29.860 and if we're going to properly represent the white man,

00:22:33.080 the Yogurt Yeti is the way to go.

00:22:35.000 Yogurt Yeti.

00:22:35.620 All right. 1.00

00:22:36.200 Garbage man. 0.99

00:22:38.840 Well, I was going to go with Flower Ranger, 0.98

00:22:42.320 but seeing as that's not over there.

00:22:44.600 Man, that's a good one.

00:22:45.580 I thought we were just doing the one bracket.

00:22:47.540 I would actually want to replace Yogurt Yeti

00:22:51.320 with Flower Ranger.

00:22:52.160 It's 100% a better one.

00:22:54.360 I'm glad.

00:22:55.200 I'm kind of upset with you.

00:22:56.220 I'm good with it.

00:22:56.960 Yeah, we can use it as a bit of interchange,

00:22:59.380 but we can – 0.99

00:23:00.020 I don't know how to fucking change this shit 0.99

00:23:01.440 because Toad's not here, 0.99

00:23:02.560 but we'll tell him to change it later.

00:23:06.240 Just visualize it.

00:23:07.580 Yeah.

00:23:07.880 And the last time I heard Yogurt in a Slur 1.00

00:23:10.020 was for a black penis. 1.00

00:23:11.240 It's called a purple-headed yogurt slinger. 1.00

00:23:13.280 I heard that one.

00:23:15.500 That's right.

00:23:17.280 I'm going to go with Yogurt Yeti.

00:23:19.560 So I might be –

00:23:22.400 so everybody's gone Yogurt Yeti so far.

00:23:24.080 So, I mean, I don't know what Toad chose,

00:23:25.820 and I'm trying not to just be against everybody, 0.98

00:23:27.760 but I think cum dumpster is a better slur. 0.99

00:23:30.220 Anyone that we can get these fucking hoes, 1.00

00:23:32.860 these sluts, and tell them, 1.00

00:23:34.560 hey, you know what a cum dumpster literally means? 1.00

00:23:37.560 Like, I mean, you're trash, for one, 1.00

00:23:39.680 so you're just a dumpster. 1.00

00:23:40.700 Or actually, you're just a receptacle of trash. 1.00

00:23:43.000 And you're trash, and you take – 1.00

00:23:45.920 Cole, whatever one we decide 1.00

00:23:49.460 is what I'm going to start calling you,

00:23:50.820 so just –

00:23:51.960 Uh-oh. 1.00

00:23:53.460 Damn. 1.00

00:23:54.460 And both fit. 0.99

00:23:55.180 That's so weird. 0.85

00:23:58.120 But cum dumpster is just – 1.00

00:23:59.700 I mean, again, it's going against white women. 1.00

00:24:02.120 I mean, they are mostly white women. 1.00

00:24:03.840 I guess black women and all other types of women 1.00

00:24:05.900 can be cum dumpsters too. 1.00

00:24:06.380 Every woman. 1.00

00:24:07.500 That's true, yeah. 0.97

00:24:08.240 But, I mean, it also can nail some gay guys as well. 1.00

00:24:12.100 I mean, cum dumpster – 1.00

00:24:13.700 I mean, that actually would – 0.99

00:24:15.580 I mean, it would be cum dumper. 1.00

00:24:17.200 I mean, that's what it would be. 0.94

00:24:18.880 So – 0.98

00:24:19.640 In the cum dumper. 0.97

00:24:21.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:24:22.100 So, I'm going cum dumpster because – 0.96

00:24:24.700 Yogurt is good, but again, 0.96

00:24:26.520 like, I don't think it has the sting

00:24:28.160 and the zip that the cum dumpster does. 0.94

00:24:31.060 Right? 0.95

00:24:32.780 Yeah.

00:24:33.420 I kind of agree with Cole on everything he said. 0.86

00:24:35.920 Cum dumpster is way more derogatory. 0.99

00:24:38.020 It's just really going to cum dumpster. 0.99

00:24:39.080 It's like way – 1.00

00:24:39.860 And, like, what better to call some dumb ethot whore, 1.00

00:24:42.660 some OnlyFans whore. 1.00

00:24:43.720 Like, Cole said, 1.00

00:24:45.000 your whole existence is just to take other dudes cum. 1.00

00:24:48.520 That's it. 1.00

00:24:48.860 That's it.

00:24:49.780 That's what you were there for.

00:24:50.500 Yogurt Yeti is just like – 0.99

00:24:51.620 It's like a shitty slang for a white guy. 0.98

00:24:53.240 Again, like we said before, 0.98

00:24:54.380 nothing you can say about us hurts my feelings.

00:24:56.760 So, it's like –

00:24:57.680 So, it's like if we're going for – 0.98

00:24:58.900 I mean, if the parameters of this fucking 0.94

00:25:00.300 very well thought out rank system here 0.96

00:25:03.000 is to hurt feelings, 0.99

00:25:04.820 then cum dumpster to demean all women and gays. 1.00

00:25:08.260 So, cum dumpster. 1.00

00:25:09.260 Well, and you said you. 0.99

00:25:10.220 You said there's nothing you could say

00:25:11.260 to cause you angst.

00:25:13.200 Why do you not qualify for this round here? 0.96

00:25:16.620 Cum dumpster? 0.98

00:25:17.660 Yeah. 1.00

00:25:18.220 Why do you not cum dumpster? 0.99

00:25:20.060 Because it doesn't hurt my feelings. 0.99

00:25:23.980 I know where I am.

00:25:25.460 He's a half a step above.

00:25:26.720 He's a comedian.

00:25:27.740 Yeah.

00:25:29.380 Exactly.

00:25:30.000 I take loads for money.

00:25:31.440 Oh, okay.

00:25:33.000 Is that on here? 0.99

00:25:33.860 Whore? 1.00

00:25:34.560 I don't see that. 0.89

00:25:36.040 All right. 1.00

00:25:36.420 I'll be a whore. 1.00

00:25:37.040 E-Nord, what's yours? 1.00

00:25:39.680 Well, whore is on here. 1.00

00:25:41.420 It's called cum dumpster. 1.00

00:25:42.560 And I totally go with cum dumpster. 0.99

00:25:44.160 Jose, I totally hear you. 0.98

00:25:45.580 It's kind of played out.

00:25:46.540 But, dude, it's –

00:25:47.960 I don't think it's played out. 0.99

00:25:48.920 It's a fucking classic. 0.99

00:25:50.480 And actually, Nutter Butter, 0.99

00:25:53.340 you took a lot of my argumentation of –

00:25:56.600 yeah, like pretty much what you said.

00:25:58.840 You know what? 0.99

00:25:59.220 I'm changing mine to cum dumpster now. 0.99

00:26:01.220 Oh! 0.98

00:26:02.320 Did we actually –

00:26:03.120 Did we convince you?

00:26:04.040 But, Adam, but, Nutter,

00:26:07.300 like a lot of your argumentation of like how derogatory it is,

00:26:10.600 how mean it is,

00:26:11.660 that's kind of what I was going to go off on,

00:26:13.600 and you already did.

00:26:14.360 So you did my job for me. 1.00

00:26:16.140 I go cum dumpster. 1.00

00:26:16.960 Someone has to. 0.99

00:26:17.560 Thanks for coming, P-Nord.

00:26:18.680 Exactly right. 1.00

00:26:19.600 Fuck off. 1.00

00:26:22.760 So mean. 1.00

00:26:23.920 All right.

00:26:24.560 I hope your jokes are homeless.

00:26:27.220 All right.

00:26:27.860 Let's –

00:26:29.320 We're bringing the next guy, right?

00:26:31.820 Yeah.

00:26:32.300 So I think, by the way, 0.98

00:26:33.720 that does mean cum dumpster won that. 0.97

00:26:35.680 If Jose didn't switch his vote, 0.98

00:26:37.580 I was going to have to go,

00:26:38.600 and I was already doing it,

00:26:39.440 trying to go see what Toad had said.

00:26:41.200 I already got bored reading the chat.

00:26:42.980 Yeah.

00:26:43.360 I was half –

00:26:44.420 I was like –

00:26:45.020 that was half me being a little bit convinced,

00:26:46.680 half that I was like,

00:26:47.420 I just don't want to have to deal with the trouble of – 0.98

00:26:49.920 the minor inconvenience of searching down Toad's fucking answers. 0.99

00:26:53.920 So, yeah. 0.99

00:26:54.600 Not only that, 0.99

00:26:55.400 I think you were sucking up to P-Nord. 1.00

00:26:58.300 He really convinced you at the end. 0.97

00:26:59.880 I really desire his respect.

00:27:04.220 I'm sure you have it.

00:27:05.560 Ooh. 0.98

00:27:06.020 JC coming up with cum trumpster is MAGA boomers. 0.98

00:27:08.680 That's great. 0.92

00:27:09.040 That's pretty good.

00:27:10.220 That's a good one.

00:27:10.580 I like that.

00:27:11.160 Cum trumpster.

00:27:12.240 Let's do it.

00:27:13.300 All right.

00:27:13.900 All right.

00:27:14.200 Let's –

00:27:14.540 Tyler, here's your next one.

00:27:16.880 Our next victim is Eric Ballman, single ball.

00:27:21.500 Yes.

00:27:22.740 You can go now.

00:27:24.000 And you know how this works.

00:27:25.560 So, here goes your minute.

00:27:26.520 And you know how this works.

00:27:27.620 Do you normally have them come back later or now?

00:27:31.900 By the way, do whatever you want.

00:27:33.340 Okay.

00:27:33.620 But what I typically do is we have him on for a little bit.

00:27:36.420 Sometimes – 0.99

00:27:36.900 last time it was a shit show because I left everybody on. 0.99

00:27:39.660 And it was like Brady Bunch meets something else. 0.99

00:27:42.500 So, it was bad.

00:27:43.220 But, yeah.

00:27:43.680 You're going to have to go.

00:27:45.460 All right?

00:27:45.960 Yeah.

00:27:46.200 Yeah.

00:27:46.400 Kick him out.

00:27:46.720 There's 20 people.

00:27:47.680 I mean, he's out.

00:27:48.600 All right.

00:27:49.100 There we go.

00:27:49.540 Okay.

00:27:49.680 I was worried he was going to just sit there so he could talk in the private chat.

00:27:51.980 So, he's spamming the private chat.

00:27:54.160 So, all right.

00:27:55.560 Cool.

00:27:55.900 You don't give the backdoor secrets here, Jose.

00:27:58.620 Okay.

00:27:59.000 Eric, go ahead.

00:27:59.940 Your wife does.

00:28:01.000 Yeah.

00:28:01.260 I am so glad I was able to join the show tonight and see every single type of white guy on the screen.

00:28:06.680 This is the best thing ever. 0.94

00:28:09.020 And you rounded out with fat.

00:28:10.980 Yes. 1.00

00:28:11.240 Shut up. 1.00

00:28:11.860 Yes. 1.00

00:28:12.260 You rounded out with husky.

00:28:14.340 Husky.

00:28:14.820 That's what we're going for.

00:28:16.840 But, yeah.

00:28:17.360 So, we just had September the 11th. 0.77

00:28:19.640 It's a tough, tough day for me because at the end of the day, I really fucking despise the conspiracy theory side of it.

00:28:26.960 But, everyone from the no-planers to aliens shot it with space lasers and everything else.

00:28:32.380 At the end of the day, I don't really care.

00:28:34.320 It was used to launch two wars and kill millions of people. 0.84

00:28:38.840 It's awful.

00:28:39.840 And it's getting down into the weeds of debating over who did what and how it was pulled off is just a time suck.

00:28:47.780 We shouldn't do it anymore.

00:28:48.700 So, that's my minute.

00:28:49.260 Even though it wasn't a minute.

00:28:51.740 All right.

00:28:52.060 Thank you, Eric.

00:28:53.380 Appreciate it.

00:28:54.340 How you doing?

00:28:54.660 You're welcome. 0.99

00:28:55.940 Eric, how's the cum flowing? 0.98

00:28:58.020 Going pretty good? 0.99

00:28:59.020 Hey, the cum flows fine. 0.92

00:29:00.840 It's just there's no swimmers in it. 0.98

00:29:02.960 Oh, really?

00:29:03.680 Okay.

00:29:03.960 So, it's all just the, what do they call it?

00:29:06.420 The, is it the seminal fluid or whatever it is?

00:29:09.900 Yep.

00:29:10.200 That's it. 0.99

00:29:10.620 It's got a narrow urethra, pig. 1.00

00:29:12.660 It's just the fucking. 1.00

00:29:14.580 So, maybe Garbage Bain doesn't know. 1.00

00:29:16.380 I shot my testicle in 2004. 0.99

00:29:18.540 So, yeah. 0.99

00:29:19.860 Yeah, they don't work.

00:29:21.160 But, yeah. 0.87

00:29:21.820 The, the, the cum still flows. 0.95

00:29:24.120 Just not into a dumpster because I'm picky. 0.99

00:29:26.360 Actually, it's kind of like a really cool way of just like instead of, you know, you don't have to get surgery for fucking get the little snip snip. 0.98

00:29:34.520 I mean, you just lose a ball. 0.98

00:29:36.040 Now, you just blow loads.

00:29:37.440 I mean, nothing.

00:29:37.880 You don't have to worry about anything.

00:29:38.960 I'm curious.

00:29:39.860 Does that affect the viscosity of your jizz?

00:29:42.500 Is it still the same thickness?

00:29:44.060 Yeah, same thickness and everything else.

00:29:45.900 Yeah, it's like, it's just, all my swimmers just lay there.

00:29:49.240 They don't do anything.

00:29:50.240 I didn't know if it was just like water.

00:29:52.160 What caliber?

00:29:53.100 It was a nine millimeter.

00:29:54.540 It was a silver tipped hollow point.

00:29:56.880 So, yes, I can guarantee you they work. 1.00

00:29:59.140 How the fuck did you shoot your ball? 1.00

00:30:01.000 I was asking about your cum. 1.00

00:30:02.760 What caliber is your cum? 0.99

00:30:05.800 Also, nine millimeter. 0.99

00:30:07.400 22.

00:30:07.640 Do you think some people do actually have like larger sperm, like legitimately just bigger sperm?

00:30:14.460 Like, I mean, because there's something, there's that point to which there's got to be some sperm that is like absolutely huge. 0.54

00:30:19.980 Let's hit the streets and start asking.

00:30:21.580 I actually do have an answer for this because the urologist, after he was looking at it under the microscope, he goes, yeah, they seem about in the medium range of size.

00:30:28.420 It's just they're not doing anything.

00:30:29.980 I was like, wait, there's different sizes.

00:30:31.600 And he goes, oh, yes.

00:30:32.380 Wow.

00:30:33.980 Is it like noticeable to the human eye or like a microscope?

00:30:37.280 Yeah, he was looking at it under a microscope.

00:30:39.320 All right.

00:30:39.760 Well, yeah, they have like a measurement device in there. 0.98

00:30:42.460 Did you have your cum checked before this accident to compare? 0.98

00:30:46.940 No. 0.99

00:30:47.900 Who hasn't?

00:30:49.120 Yeah.

00:30:49.420 The only thing was he was saying that my testosterone level was still normal.

00:30:53.340 So he would have hated to meet me beforehand because apparently I was a wild man.

00:30:58.400 All man. 0.87

00:30:59.240 All right.

00:30:59.760 Let's get into it.

00:31:01.160 Once again, I'll give you the pick of the litter here.

00:31:04.240 Oh, man. 0.99

00:31:05.320 Except for cum dumpster and yogurt yeti. 0.99

00:31:07.080 That's out of the. 0.99

00:31:07.480 Yeah, that's out of the.

00:31:08.540 Yeah, I had to suffer through P-Nord. 0.99

00:31:11.000 So I'm aware.

00:31:12.700 Female versus Glow Nigger or Panface Gook versus Fudge Packer. 0.98

00:31:16.840 Well, it's going to have to be Panface Gook and Fudge Packer. 1.00

00:31:20.220 All right.

00:31:20.580 That's a good one.

00:31:21.640 That's actually a pretty good one.

00:31:22.720 Which, if you don't know, Panface Gook is, of course, just Asians or I think specifically Vietnamese, correct? 0.97

00:31:29.560 Because that is that not supposed to be something because we kind of.

00:31:33.520 I don't know.

00:31:33.940 All Asians kind of have flat faces. 1.00

00:31:35.580 I think I think this is specific to a actual region of Asia.

00:31:39.680 Yeah.

00:31:40.060 Because I think it was supposed to because was it John McCain that or is it like a science of racism right here?

00:31:46.340 It was it was it was it was it was it was John McCain that said that said gook or was it?

00:31:53.020 Yeah.

00:31:53.300 So I think is that a Korean or Vietnamese Vietnamese, right?

00:31:57.160 Yeah.

00:31:57.340 Yeah.

00:31:57.480 He was.

00:31:57.800 Yeah.

00:31:57.920 He was in the Vietnam War.

00:31:58.680 He was tortured.

00:31:59.180 Well, I think that would be it.

00:32:00.700 It has.

00:32:01.700 It has a root from the Korean War because the Koreans trying to get away from the war zone will come up to American GIs and say,

00:32:08.920 me gook, me gook, me friend, me friend. 0.98

00:32:11.400 And so they just OK, you're a gook. 1.00

00:32:13.920 And that story is kind of stuck. 0.98

00:32:15.240 Probably means something.

00:32:16.280 Their language, you know, or something.

00:32:17.460 Yeah.

00:32:17.680 It means friend in Korean.

00:32:19.160 So why don't we just call Vietnamese?

00:32:21.280 It's kind of just funny.

00:32:23.260 My pan-faced friend.

00:32:25.640 Why don't we just call all the Vietnamese then? 0.99

00:32:27.540 So horny. 0.99

00:32:28.760 So horny. 0.94

00:32:30.260 I mean, you could you could choose many others. 0.83

00:32:32.440 I mean, there's slope, slant eye.

00:32:33.880 I mean, you can you can go on.

00:32:35.300 But yeah, I've seen Gran Torino.

00:32:36.880 Thanks.

00:32:37.360 This is like a whole slur.

00:32:39.180 I like it.

00:32:39.780 My wife in the chat said that all Asians look the same.

00:32:43.940 And that's completely wrong.

00:32:45.880 There's a lot of Asians that like, I mean, technically, Filipinos look totally different pretty easily. 0.99

00:32:52.680 Which ones can you tell?

00:32:54.280 Pretty much all of them.

00:32:55.660 It's not that hard.

00:32:57.300 The only ones is like Japanese and Korean can kind of get kind of.

00:33:00.980 And they hate each other.

00:33:02.400 So good job, Cole.

00:33:03.340 That's the only way, Cole.

00:33:04.660 The Chinese definitely don't make that mistake in real life.

00:33:08.160 You'll be shivved really quickly.

00:33:10.040 Do.

00:33:10.300 Do make that mistake. 0.99

00:33:11.340 Except for the big titty Asians. 1.00

00:33:12.700 Because those are rare.

00:33:13.360 Those are the only ones that look a little bit different to me.

00:33:15.900 The which ones? 0.92

00:33:16.720 The big titty Asians. 1.00

00:33:17.860 Those are like unicorns over there. 0.98

00:33:19.060 Right.

00:33:19.440 Well, Jose, you only see people in terms of their body type.

00:33:22.500 That's like that's how you see people anyways.

00:33:24.760 At least women. 0.94

00:33:25.720 Apparently Adam had to go to the kitchen for some strange reason.

00:33:31.840 All right.

00:33:32.000 Well, we'll get to him.

00:33:32.580 All right. 1.00

00:33:33.440 Fudge Packer is a faggot. 1.00

00:33:35.680 A fudge packer because it's just. 1.00

00:33:37.860 How is that a seven seed?

00:33:40.260 I don't know.

00:33:40.600 I think we were just.

00:33:41.180 Fudge Packer is weak, honestly.

00:33:43.480 It is kind of weak.

00:33:44.700 Yeah.

00:33:45.100 I don't know how we couldn't have. 0.53

00:33:46.500 We didn't have a better one for gay. 1.00

00:33:47.960 That one's weak as fuck. 1.00

00:33:49.500 So I'm pan-faced goop. 1.00

00:33:50.720 You know, hands down.

00:33:51.560 You're not going to get me changed my mind.

00:33:53.180 Yeah.

00:33:53.480 I mean, that's where my vote's going to go.

00:33:54.760 I'm on the opposite.

00:33:55.820 I think fudge packer is a great one.

00:33:57.600 Yeah.

00:33:58.080 Why don't you wait your turn?

00:34:00.020 Oh, yeah.

00:34:00.500 Fine, Tyler.

00:34:01.300 Go ahead.

00:34:03.180 I'm not running this anymore. 1.00

00:34:04.300 Fucking lawyer over here. 1.00

00:34:05.380 No, I just. 1.00

00:34:07.120 I want to say it before you do.

00:34:08.820 It's a fudge packer.

00:34:09.780 It's classic.

00:34:10.600 It's time honored.

00:34:11.740 And it's specific to the gays. 0.98

00:34:14.700 So pan-faced goop could be that hottie that Jose is talking about. 1.00

00:34:19.160 Big rack.

00:34:20.300 But not the fudge packer.

00:34:21.780 So we're going there.

00:34:22.880 And it says a lot.

00:34:25.560 It's a fudge. 0.98

00:34:26.560 Fudge packer is just the gay version of. 1.00

00:34:30.480 Jesus Christ, Cole. 1.00

00:34:31.380 Don't lie to fucking you. 1.00

00:34:32.900 Okay, fine. 1.00

00:34:33.760 Damn it. 1.00

00:34:34.360 Jesus. 1.00

00:34:36.000 Garbage man. 1.00

00:34:36.580 Go ahead, Andy. 1.00

00:34:38.800 I'm going to go pan-faced goop.

00:34:40.400 It's wholesome. 0.99

00:34:41.600 And Tyler's gay. 0.98

00:34:44.240 That's all I got. 0.94

00:34:45.520 See, no.

00:34:46.220 See, I'm going fudge packer as well.

00:34:47.640 Strong argument.

00:34:48.000 Because I like fudge packer, and I also like its sister, Carpet Muncher.

00:34:52.420 Okay?

00:34:52.900 These two together, I think, are great.

00:34:56.280 Because they just describe what these two degenerate people are doing.

00:35:00.120 Eating box. 0.73

00:35:01.640 One lady eating another lady's box. 1.00

00:35:03.460 And then sticking their dick into some shitty asshole. 1.00

00:35:06.940 And pushing their shit back up inside of them. 1.00

00:35:08.940 Yes. 1.00

00:35:09.440 Disgusting. 1.00

00:35:10.180 Pan-faced goop. 1.00

00:35:11.400 Goop is a great one.

00:35:12.360 It has the history with John McCain calling and saying it.

00:35:15.900 But, like, I mean, I think slope is a better, like, slur just for Asian people. 0.98

00:35:22.540 Or cheek.

00:35:24.720 But, like, fudge packer, I got to go with that.

00:35:27.680 Just because I think it hurts them more to say, like, now.

00:35:32.560 Well, actually, I don't know.

00:35:33.660 I bet dude calling a. 0.99

00:35:36.220 What?

00:35:37.200 I mean, yeah, they might, like, care.

00:35:38.860 But they wouldn't really hurt their feelings.

00:35:40.040 Yeah, I feel like gook actually would hurt. 1.00

00:35:42.220 Well, I don't know.

00:35:42.980 Because they were calling themselves gook. 0.97

00:35:45.160 Yeah, they're going to think you're just saying, oh, I'm a friend.

00:35:47.300 Yeah, that's true.

00:35:47.760 Well, I mean, any organized gook is going to think that you're calling him a gook. 0.98

00:35:51.180 They might be upset about the pan part.

00:35:53.020 Because they might think you're talking about phrenology.

00:35:54.860 The shape of the head of some sort.

00:35:56.540 But I think you'll get away with it.

00:35:58.560 Yeah.

00:35:59.880 Adam, what you got?

00:36:01.260 You went with fudge packer.

00:36:03.980 You got two and two.

00:36:05.700 I'm also going to go with fudge packer, too.

00:36:07.680 Again, I feel like it's more of a full-blown insult.

00:36:11.080 Especially now I learned the history of what gook means.

00:36:13.440 It's not as impactful.

00:36:15.180 It's beautiful, but it's an economy of it. 0.86

00:36:17.540 It'd be like if nigger actually meant something sweet. 1.00

00:36:20.460 But they didn't know that.

00:36:22.660 So there's, like, a weird – I don't know.

00:36:24.160 For me, that's, like, a weird mind game aspect.

00:36:26.260 Brother, I'm with you.

00:36:27.060 It's funny.

00:36:28.800 I understand.

00:36:29.720 It's funny.

00:36:30.700 It definitely is funny and ironic. 0.97

00:36:32.180 But if we're just going, again, straight insult that hurts your feelings, I feel like calling a gay dude a fudge packer. 1.00

00:36:38.120 It's very 90s and 80s, and it's very funny to me. 0.95

00:36:40.360 Sam-Face Gook would do way more damage.

00:36:42.260 I don't know what you're talking about.

00:36:44.240 I don't believe that.

00:36:45.900 If you replaced fudge packer with Brad Palumbo, I would choose it.

00:36:49.600 Yeah.

00:36:50.560 I don't know.

00:36:51.120 Jose, hold on.

00:36:51.820 You're kind of selling me on it.

00:36:52.960 I mean, you might be right.

00:36:53.840 You might be right because of the climate we're in.

00:36:55.540 I don't know, though.

00:36:56.080 The gay army is strong, too, though. 0.95

00:36:57.680 There's so many better gay slurs now. 1.00

00:37:00.060 I also think, Jose, I'm going to say it.

00:37:02.520 I think a three-word slur is too long.

00:37:06.000 I'm just going to say that.

00:37:07.300 How about syllables?

00:37:08.500 How do you feel about syllables?

00:37:10.020 I think if it adds meaningful context, it adds extra damage.

00:37:13.680 I think, like, if done right, it makes it more impactful.

00:37:16.860 And I think in this situation.

00:37:17.900 Speaking of impactful.

00:37:19.560 Everyone with one or two words.

00:37:21.480 This is the only three words.

00:37:22.100 Jose, you sold me.

00:37:23.320 I'm going with that one. 0.99

00:37:24.360 Ah, damn it. 0.99

00:37:25.240 Sorry. 0.99

00:37:25.620 He had a good argument.

00:37:26.620 I'm a man of words that are smart.

00:37:30.080 You're so easily persuaded.

00:37:32.620 Eric, you can either tie this up or we'll send Toad.

00:37:35.740 That's annoying.

00:37:37.280 Tie this up and we have to go to Toad's vote.

00:37:40.000 I think it's a really funny thing to do.

00:37:42.420 I don't know why.

00:37:43.400 Yeah.

00:37:44.020 I don't know why Fudge Packer was picked over Pooh Pusher because it just seems like a little more of a visual that you get on that one.

00:37:50.440 Hershey Highway Patrolman.

00:37:51.660 Yeah, there you go.

00:37:53.060 Pooh Pusher actually works pretty well, too, because it's also...

00:37:56.580 Oh, what's it?

00:37:57.380 The one that's the same first letter.

00:38:01.000 I can't remember the thing called.

00:38:02.460 Alliteration?

00:38:02.880 Alliteration.

00:38:03.500 Alliteration.

00:38:04.040 That's the word that Cole was looking for.

00:38:05.820 I bet if you are going to scream pan-faced gook and you're doing it in the heat of the battle, you're going to miss a few words there. 1.00

00:38:12.780 Fudge Packer is just super easy.

00:38:14.160 Yeah, it just comes right out.

00:38:15.800 What do you think?

00:38:16.160 Is this a war cry?

00:38:17.660 What kind of war cry?

00:38:19.300 You've not been to San Francisco lately.

00:38:21.160 You've got to pick one of those two slurs to go with. 0.94

00:38:24.760 It's true.

00:38:25.240 This is a San Francisco-based slur.

00:38:27.020 Yeah, but that's true, though.

00:38:29.900 If you did go out into the public and you just yelled one of these words, that should be the ultimate tiebreaker.

00:38:35.840 If you just went out to the public and you just yelled pan-faced gook. 0.80

00:38:38.640 What do you think Adam's been getting up and doing this the whole time?

00:38:41.120 Adam keeps getting up and leaving and yelling at his wife. 0.99

00:38:43.280 Go on retarded. 1.00

00:38:44.220 Gook will get way more heads turned than Fudge Packer. 0.99

00:38:46.680 She's like, this didn't work on white.

00:38:47.840 I'm like, next one will work on you. 1.00

00:38:48.920 Fudge Packer is some bullshit a 12-year-old says. 1.00

00:38:51.340 Oh, exactly. 1.00

00:38:53.200 You saw the Fudge Packer.

00:38:54.400 Would you mind if it was Poo Pusher? 0.83

00:38:56.600 Maybe a little bit.

00:38:57.440 It'd be a better argument, I think.

00:38:59.300 Yeah. 1.00

00:38:59.900 I think either way, this was something that you would scream if you were walking around in San Francisco and you just stepped in human shit. 0.99

00:39:06.720 Either one of these would be the words you would say. 1.00

00:39:10.040 There's fucking Fudge Packers over here shitting on the sidewalks. 1.00

00:39:13.840 Why don't you shove that shit back up your ass? 1.00

00:39:15.800 What do we got here? 1.00

00:39:17.740 Yeah, what are you going to go with, Eric, on this one?

00:39:19.400 I think I'm going to go with pan-faced gook. 1.00

00:39:21.460 Because, I mean, you really have to use all of the muscles in your face to say it.

00:39:25.620 That's great.

00:39:26.440 That's a lot of anger.

00:39:27.080 Oh, that's true, too.

00:39:27.980 That gives us a real hate vibe.

00:39:29.940 But you've got to use the muscles when you've really got to...

00:39:31.980 And you have to enunciate every single syllable.

00:39:34.960 Pan-faced gook? 1.00

00:39:36.440 Yeah, it's a delivery.

00:39:37.520 I do think something about pan-faced gook. 1.00

00:39:39.360 You can say it like a very, like, mysterious, racist, like, you know, fucking, like, goddamn pan-faced gook. 1.00

00:39:45.940 Do you think, like, the hard K at the end is better than the hard R? 1.00

00:39:51.000 Yeah, the hard K at the end, I mean, that's enough velocity that spit will leave your mouth and hit their face.

00:39:56.440 I feel like if you say better, what do you mean by better?

00:39:58.480 Gook! 0.96

00:39:59.240 Like, more forceful.

00:40:00.900 Like, a gook, like, hitting a hard, like, K or hitting a hard R. 1.00

00:40:04.840 Got to end on that consonant, you know?

00:40:07.880 Something about the K is satisfying.

00:40:10.460 I don't know what it is.

00:40:12.260 I think you need, like, a flare, like, in the syllable, or another syllable, but in the vowel, and, like, really enunciate it.

00:40:18.260 Like, some sort of southern drawl to the flare of, like, gook! 1.00

00:40:21.020 Are you sure it's not a silent K? 0.93

00:40:23.800 You could get some phlegm in your throat there and go, really K it up, you know?

00:40:28.140 That's true.

00:40:29.220 So, David Ray said I can imagine a Vietnam vet using pan-faced gook, but I can also imagine them saying fudge packer as well. 1.00

00:40:36.020 You're stabbing with a band hit, you goddamn pan-faced gook! 1.00

00:40:41.480 What about a gook-faced fudge packer? 1.00

00:40:49.340 Ooh, I like that.

00:40:50.960 There we go.

00:40:51.700 A gook-faced fudge packer is actually a really good one. 1.00

00:40:54.600 Very oddly specific slur.

00:40:56.740 It's a very niche, sexual-based population.

00:41:00.400 That's for the gay Asian community.

00:41:02.160 That's like Andy No, Andy No, that's what that is.

00:41:04.800 Oh, by the way, Andy is also the one that came up with Beanerschnitzel. 1.00

00:41:07.800 No, Andy No, N-G-O, the fucking gay Asian reporter. 1.00

00:41:11.080 Yeah, Andy Knew. 1.00

00:41:12.540 The guy hit up in the head with a cement milkshake.

00:41:15.600 Yes, that's the thing.

00:41:16.440 No, Cole's talking about-

00:41:17.380 And that's not a slur.

00:41:18.460 ...suggestions on this board.

00:41:19.800 Yes, Beanerschnitzel was his one that he gave us, I know that for sure.

00:41:24.800 I gave you street shitter as well.

00:41:27.140 It's like, oh, yeah, that's right.

00:41:28.460 He gave us both of them.

00:41:29.600 Is that a slang for homeless?

00:41:32.120 No, it's a slang for Indian people.

00:41:34.940 I feel like both are acceptable answers, honestly. 0.54

00:41:38.220 It's like P-Nord could be a street shitter, you know what I'm saying? 1.00

00:41:40.400 Oh, P-Nord definitely has a street- 1.00

00:41:41.660 P-Nord has definitely shit in a street before. 0.99

00:41:44.080 Yes, he's definitely done that. 0.99

00:41:44.920 He did it after he ate the sushi with-

00:41:47.800 Right.

00:41:49.720 They did it together out there.

00:41:50.980 Wait a second. 1.00

00:41:52.040 Cole, are you saying you haven't shit in a street? 0.99

00:41:54.460 I mean, I like how you have to think about it. 0.99

00:41:57.700 I definitely try to think about it.

00:41:58.460 Well, because I'm pissed in a lot of places.

00:42:00.920 Yeah, we all have.

00:42:01.580 We're men.

00:42:02.200 Yeah.

00:42:02.620 I mean-

00:42:03.160 Dude, I've pissed on this podcast a lot.

00:42:06.120 That's why you do piss in the bottle. 1.00

00:42:08.080 You fucking weirdo. 1.00

00:42:09.500 I always keep a cup nearby. 1.00

00:42:11.660 It sounds like a noise-

00:42:12.460 He's like, here's my piss cup.

00:42:15.820 Are you Ari from fear? 0.99

00:42:16.860 That's disgusting. 0.98

00:42:18.020 Yeah.

00:42:19.420 That was a really funny moment in the podcast.

00:42:22.060 Oh my god.

00:42:22.860 Would you rather spend a week with P-Nord or a week in Mumbai, India? 1.00

00:42:28.000 I'd rather spend a week in Mumbai.

00:42:30.040 Where P-Nord? 0.77

00:42:31.720 I bet Mumbai has sights and P-Nord also has sights, but I don't want to see them. 1.00

00:42:36.020 So that's-

00:42:37.400 The potential for a hot Indian woman to walk by goes up when you're in Mumbai, not when 1.00

00:42:42.280 you're with P-Nord. 0.65

00:42:42.760 Those don't exist.

00:42:44.140 Yeah, but if you're with P-Nord, your attractiveness level goes up like tenfold. 1.00

00:42:47.840 You'll crush.

00:42:48.440 Oh, you know what?

00:42:49.240 There's a thought right there.

00:42:50.860 You know, I instantly become a ten right next door.

00:42:53.140 Does that work with men, though? 0.52

00:42:53.700 Does it work with men if you go out with an uglier man? 0.59

00:42:56.800 Yes, it does. 0.61

00:42:57.320 Of course it does.

00:42:57.820 You can get better with-

00:42:58.300 I don't believe that works.

00:42:59.580 Cole, speaking as-

00:43:00.860 Hold on, hold on, hold on. 0.96

00:43:01.640 Speaking as the ugly friend, yes. 0.94

00:43:03.560 That does happen.

00:43:04.860 And I've been the wingman on many occasions.

00:43:07.020 All I said was, it elevates you.

00:43:08.900 I didn't say it's going to work.

00:43:10.220 It's going to elevate you, though.

00:43:11.500 You get an insecure fat friend, but it has like a gravitas to him that brings in people's 1.00

00:43:17.280 very talkative, jovial, and then you just be the strong, silent type and swoop up a pussy. 1.00

00:43:21.260 That's the way to go, dude. 1.00

00:43:22.240 That's the fucking- 1.00

00:43:22.580 P-Ups and pussy. 1.00

00:43:23.840 Yeah. 1.00

00:43:25.220 You get a kind of scope from the outside. 0.96

00:43:27.100 Like, which one am I coming in for while he's fucking entertaining? 0.98

00:43:29.440 Yeah, if your fat friend's not funny, then why even have him around? 0.99

00:43:32.840 Oh, that's true. 0.91

00:43:33.520 You've got to have the funny fat friend.

00:43:34.860 Yeah, that's their only- 0.72

00:43:36.220 And he's got to be insecure because fat- this is a true- a lot of fat guys don't realize

00:43:39.700 this, especially if you take good care of yourself, you're well put together, well-dressed. 1.00

00:43:44.940 You can pull pussy. 1.00

00:43:46.240 That's a secret. 1.00

00:43:46.940 That's true. 0.72

00:43:47.400 A lot of fat guys don't know.

00:43:49.000 I just don't know who crushes.

00:43:51.520 Yeah.

00:43:51.940 Yeah, but you don't let them know that.

00:43:52.800 Confidence is everything.

00:43:54.460 You don't let them know that.

00:43:55.320 I want to say Big J crushes it. 1.00

00:43:57.280 He does get pussy. 1.00

00:43:58.560 It's just not- 1.00

00:43:59.160 He physically crushes it. 1.00

00:44:00.280 He just gets pussy in general. 1.00

00:44:04.920 It's just not- it's not the grade A. It's like grade F pussy. 1.00

00:44:09.480 Hey, counts. 1.00

00:44:11.000 Counts it does, man.

00:44:12.620 We're going by quantity, sir.

00:44:14.240 Yeah.

00:44:14.500 As the old joke goes, doesn't matter.

00:44:16.340 Still got laid.

00:44:18.500 Forrest Mommy just said, and be funny. 1.00

00:44:20.940 She said, I fuck funny fats. 1.00

00:44:22.320 That's why I said it's the insecure, funny, fat guy. 1.00

00:44:26.180 Insecure. 0.63

00:44:27.080 It's the confidence that's key.

00:44:28.940 And then my wife also said, I've gotten a lot of girls going out with Cole, which is 0.84

00:44:31.980 actually true as well.

00:44:34.780 Wait, what?

00:44:35.220 But Cole hasn't.

00:44:36.180 So she's the good looking guy?

00:44:38.640 Yeah.

00:44:40.160 That's what she's saying.

00:44:41.280 Okay.

00:44:41.820 Well, that works.

00:44:42.840 So are you like-

00:44:43.460 As long as you work better by comparison.

00:44:45.500 Did you do this move where you're jerking off the corner and she's making out with some 0.99

00:44:47.940 chick? 0.99

00:44:49.680 I'm usually not jerking off. 0.99

00:44:51.300 Usually we're in a club and I don't want to get kicked out. 0.98

00:44:53.580 I got you.

00:44:53.920 Yeah.

00:44:55.760 I mean, I would definitely do that, but there's something awkward about that to where you're

00:44:59.380 like, this is weird.

00:45:01.800 Yeah.

00:45:02.300 I felt that.

00:45:04.960 Right.

00:45:06.460 What was very weird is because I was sitting there and Elizabeth was dancing with the girl

00:45:11.940 and I was like-

00:45:13.960 Oh, that's hot.

00:45:14.640 I'm talking about the situation if you bring them back, but they're like, well, we don't

00:45:19.220 want you.

00:45:19.580 This is weird if you can evolve. 0.98

00:45:20.700 I'll say it's like a legit gay chick and you're like, you've got to stay up there. 1.00

00:45:23.580 I guess that's, if that's all I'm getting, I'd do it, but there'd be something very weird.

00:45:26.660 I'm like, I feel a little weird about this.

00:45:29.560 It's a very awkward situation.

00:45:30.360 Hey, Jose, is your mic on?

00:45:32.680 Or is it coming through the computer?

00:45:33.980 It sounds like it's coming through his computer, right?

00:45:35.180 Like it doesn't sound like his mic is on.

00:45:36.300 Is that just me?

00:45:36.800 He doesn't sound great.

00:45:37.920 Yeah.

00:45:38.620 No, it is coming through his mic.

00:45:40.960 Okay.

00:45:41.200 Keep doing that.

00:45:42.220 All the iterations of tapping it.

00:45:43.840 Keep going.

00:45:44.260 Yeah.

00:45:45.380 Tap it.

00:45:45.860 Blow into it.

00:45:47.080 Were you guys just talking about Tom Woods 2000?

00:45:49.080 What was the scenario you're talking about?

00:45:50.480 Well, it did happen there.

00:45:51.800 Yeah, it did happen.

00:45:52.680 It's Tom Woods 2000.

00:45:53.760 I was standing five feet away when it did.

00:45:55.400 So, see, you're right.

00:45:57.860 He's your wingman.

00:46:00.120 That was a situation.

00:46:02.660 Cole just found out that he's his wife's wingman. 0.99

00:46:04.560 That sucks. 1.00

00:46:07.660 She's like, I'm using my uglier husband to get hotter chicks. 1.00

00:46:11.120 But would you be your wife's wingman if she was getting like hot chicks and then you get to bang the hot chick as well? 1.00

00:46:18.000 No.

00:46:18.460 That would happen?

00:46:18.860 I don't know. 1.00

00:46:19.700 What kind of stupid question is this? 1.00

00:46:21.380 That's just a hostage. 1.00

00:46:22.440 You just have a tag team hostage situation. 1.00

00:46:24.400 Are you saying stupid as yes, absolutely? 1.00

00:46:27.420 Yes, absolutely. 1.00

00:46:28.960 Your wife's like, hey, I'm trying to set you up a three-way. 1.00

00:46:31.300 I need you to wingman.

00:46:32.860 What?

00:46:33.300 Like, yeah.

00:46:34.160 What kind of weird question is this?

00:46:36.720 Cole just outed his kidnapping scheme.

00:46:38.880 His wife is involved.

00:46:40.300 Sweet.

00:46:40.540 What was the other option?

00:46:41.660 Sitting awkwardly in the corner while she does it all by herself?

00:46:44.760 Like, I got it.

00:46:45.880 No, no, no.

00:46:46.080 Honey.

00:46:46.740 Or just not doing it at all.

00:46:48.680 Like, you just wouldn't see your wife's.

00:46:49.460 Oh, got you. 0.98

00:46:50.080 Like, it's either you beat, like, your wife goes and hits on women and then, like, takes 1.00

00:46:54.800 them back to your house and you fuck them. 1.00

00:46:56.620 Or just you just don't do that. 1.00

00:46:58.500 Like.

00:46:59.320 I mean, I'd be down.

00:47:00.620 I mean, I'm not really too worried about my wife running off with a woman because, I mean,

00:47:04.820 I will always have something she doesn't.

00:47:06.860 So, you know.

00:47:07.900 Money.

00:47:08.660 Money.

00:47:09.360 A picture.

00:47:11.220 Hair.

00:47:12.060 A future.

00:47:14.000 Friends.

00:47:15.240 Parents that love them.

00:47:21.740 Oh, my God.

00:47:23.860 Wait.

00:47:24.380 But, Tyler, you were pushing against that, weren't you?

00:47:26.580 Against what?

00:47:27.580 Were you saying you wouldn't do it?

00:47:29.240 Do what?

00:47:30.620 Would you be your wife's wingman?

00:47:32.100 Oh.

00:47:32.420 He's a good Christian man.

00:47:33.260 Oh.

00:47:33.840 Yeah, I'm a good.

00:47:35.060 Yeah, I wouldn't do it either.

00:47:35.880 I can't handle that.

00:47:36.160 Oh, he was about to go, yeah.

00:47:37.580 I can't handle more than my wife. 1.00

00:47:39.400 Well, I bother God.

00:47:40.320 He's like, you know what? 0.99

00:47:40.860 You're fucking right. 0.98

00:47:43.060 Tyler's like, only if they take it. 0.99

00:47:44.380 And they ask, like, my wife.

00:47:45.460 In Minecraft, yeah.

00:47:47.300 So, yeah. 1.00

00:47:47.880 Yeah, we just ignore the sodomy fucking persons. 1.00

00:47:50.740 Right. 1.00

00:47:53.000 Tyler actually has a secret black family.

00:47:55.080 He hasn't told any of us about that.

00:47:57.260 Yeah.

00:47:58.160 You'd be the type. 0.95

00:48:00.840 Yeah, I went out with one black girl. 1.00

00:48:02.800 It just, we didn't seem to click.

00:48:04.640 A lot of problems, so.

00:48:06.400 I remember.

00:48:08.100 Language barrier.

00:48:10.020 Language.

00:48:10.720 And she kept trying to choke me. 1.00

00:48:12.160 And I'm like, bitch, this is not that. 0.99

00:48:13.740 We all stumbled over the same joke. 0.99

00:48:14.980 We're all like, oh, okay.

00:48:16.800 Thanks.

00:48:17.600 Clicking.

00:48:18.260 Clicking.

00:48:21.820 Wait, so.

00:48:24.040 I actually did also.

00:48:25.420 Like, I didn't go out with one.

00:48:27.080 But when I was very.

00:48:28.000 When I was younger.

00:48:28.680 I was probably like 11 or 12.

00:48:30.560 There was a black girl that really liked me.

00:48:33.060 And she was like the first girl that I guess I had like.

00:48:35.300 Kind of liked as well.

00:48:36.440 Which is very weird.

00:48:37.780 And then I never liked a black girl after that. 1.00

00:48:39.460 But now you had your big ass then too, right? 1.00

00:48:41.800 Or not. 1.00

00:48:42.300 No, no.

00:48:42.800 I was.

00:48:43.240 Dude, I was tiny, dude.

00:48:44.540 I was.

00:48:45.000 No.

00:48:45.980 I was.

00:48:46.720 I can.

00:48:47.200 I can see it now.

00:48:48.380 Dear Hustler Forum.

00:48:50.800 You were her.

00:48:51.580 You were her mail ticket out of the hood, Cole.

00:48:54.120 Actually.

00:48:54.940 It was.

00:48:55.620 Well, she would.

00:48:56.200 She thought you were her dad.

00:48:57.560 She came on the bus route for the church.

00:49:00.240 So, and I. 1.00

00:49:01.100 This motherfucker looks like he has health insurance. 1.00

00:49:07.860 Well, Eric, I think that's. 1.00

00:49:09.600 Thanks for giving your input on that.

00:49:11.500 I think we can.

00:49:12.240 No problem at all.

00:49:13.340 Thanks, Eric, for joining the Kill podcast slash whatever this is.

00:49:17.300 Tower gang.

00:49:18.280 Kill towers. 1.00

00:49:19.880 Kill towers. 1.00

00:49:20.600 Kill tower. 1.00

00:49:21.060 Kill. 1.00

00:49:21.720 Something like that. 1.00

00:49:22.920 There you go.

00:49:23.340 See ya.

00:49:24.040 I was going to say to his conspiracy thing.

00:49:26.660 I'm not a no planner.

00:49:27.740 I'm a no pentagoner.

00:49:28.680 The pentagon doesn't exist.

00:49:31.080 Oh, God.

00:49:31.720 I wish.

00:49:32.120 Anything more than like five sides, you're getting crazy.

00:49:34.740 I will say.

00:49:36.080 Five more sides.

00:49:37.260 I deal in squares.

00:49:38.580 That's it.

00:49:39.140 That's it.

00:49:39.940 Squares and rectangles.

00:49:41.500 I do know someone who was in the parking lot and she said that she saw the plane boom

00:49:47.480 go right through.

00:49:48.580 So, I don't know.

00:49:50.100 She was a black lady. 1.00

00:49:51.240 Wait, wait, wait. 1.00

00:49:51.800 Bitch, dog. 1.00

00:49:53.760 In the park of the pentagon? 1.00

00:49:55.780 Yeah.

00:49:56.060 Something like.

00:49:56.580 Yeah. 0.78

00:49:56.720 She was out there and she's black. 1.00

00:49:58.260 I knew you were a fucking fed. 1.00

00:49:59.560 I didn't see it. 1.00

00:50:01.980 I'm just telling you what she said.

00:50:03.180 Yeah, you just have fed friends that were there. 1.00

00:50:05.220 All your fucking fed friends. 1.00

00:50:06.980 Right. 1.00

00:50:09.380 All right.

00:50:09.860 Do you want to do another one of these, guys?

00:50:12.080 Sure.

00:50:12.720 Hell yeah. 0.99

00:50:12.960 We got hole and sugar foot and she male and glow nigger. 1.00

00:50:16.340 These are both good ones. 0.75

00:50:17.620 I like hole and sugar foot.

00:50:18.900 Let's just knock off number one, number eight.

00:50:20.580 Well, that's the best one.

00:50:21.720 So, let's save that for the last one.

00:50:23.460 I think that's the move. 0.95

00:50:24.300 We'll do she male and glow nigger unless you guys object. 1.00

00:50:27.140 Because I think this is a clear blowout. 0.99

00:50:28.880 And you guys are retarded if you say otherwise. 1.00

00:50:30.700 Because once again, she male, there are so many better ones for training. 0.98

00:50:34.200 I really feel like there are.

00:50:34.980 But I guess we were trying to get specific with whether it's male or female or female.

00:50:38.360 Because that was the big thing is we had zipper tips on one side.

00:50:41.100 You guys are so focused on specific categories.

00:50:43.640 I'm like, dude, who cares? 0.99

00:50:44.700 Like, the point's just funny shit. 0.99

00:50:46.720 But whatever. 1.00

00:50:47.800 Y'all are going to faggots. 1.00

00:50:49.400 But, yeah, she male glow niggers. 1.00

00:50:51.300 I mean, yeah. 0.99

00:50:53.040 I'll also go ahead and just go and start glow nigger. 1.00

00:50:54.720 I love glow nigger. 1.00

00:50:55.920 Because I've used Glowy for years.

00:50:57.980 It's a fed.

00:50:59.040 It's a fed boy.

00:51:00.160 That's where Glowy comes from.

00:51:01.400 I didn't know that.

00:51:02.080 Apparently, it started from, I don't know, 4chan or whatever.

00:51:05.040 4chan 100% started that.

00:51:06.700 And they just started calling them glow niggers. 1.00

00:51:08.780 And it became Glowy. 0.53

00:51:10.180 And so it's kind of like, huh. 0.99

00:51:12.120 It's like the entomology of this fucking word I use regularly. 0.97

00:51:15.960 And it ends up being even cooler when I know where it really came from. 0.99

00:51:19.000 So I love glow nigger. 1.00

00:51:20.380 Glow nigger is the best. 1.00

00:51:21.200 I had our chat named that for a while. 0.96

00:51:22.680 And I was super upset when it switched.

00:51:23.760 It stayed for a long time. 0.98

00:51:25.100 The glow nigger social club. 1.00

00:51:26.340 That was a tower game group chat. 0.96

00:51:27.620 Yeah.

00:51:28.220 I could not open up that thing in public.

00:51:30.120 I'd be at the gym trying to hide. 1.00

00:51:32.440 My fucking chat. 1.00

00:51:33.400 Y'all started bitching. 1.00

00:51:34.400 And I changed the group chat to like aggressively racist shit. 1.00

00:51:38.240 Like once it was like all niggers must die. 1.00

00:51:40.660 I was saying in the group chat world. 1.00

00:51:42.680 And I was on the goddamn train going to Gas Digital. 0.98

00:51:45.220 And I'm opening up. 0.99

00:51:46.480 I'm not paying attention. 0.85

00:51:47.620 And there's like two black guys sitting next to me. 0.52

00:51:49.080 Like, oh, it's going to be a problem if they see this.

00:51:51.840 This white tattooed guy.

00:51:53.440 It's like, right?

00:51:54.120 And then you got to Gas Digital.

00:51:56.020 And you're like, hey, guys, look what group chat I'm in.

00:51:57.860 And they were like, that's funny.

00:51:58.840 They all high-five me.

00:52:00.580 Which actually, did you hear that story that they were saying that there's that one, was

00:52:05.660 it a porn star or something that they had on that actually was being racist and like 0.99

00:52:10.100 all of like Gas Digital was like, what the fuck is going on? 0.99

00:52:12.940 Were you talking about the Sarah J thing and Chrissy May? 0.99

00:52:15.300 Were they like, she got mad because Gina Biscondi came on and said like nigger a bunch? 0.65

00:52:19.120 No, no, no. 0.89

00:52:19.740 No, no, no.

00:52:20.720 That's a good one too. 0.98

00:52:21.860 Because then they found the porn of her being like the racist porn. 1.00

00:52:24.260 She was like nigger. 1.00

00:52:24.820 Yeah, this was some whore who was just like legitimately being racist, but like not at all humorously. 1.00

00:52:30.040 Yeah, it wasn't on the podcast. 0.98

00:52:32.200 It was off the show.

00:52:33.740 Oh.

00:52:34.580 Just in the back of Gas Digital being like, right?

00:52:37.260 These guys.

00:52:39.780 So are you guys saying all your racist stuff is funny?

00:52:42.400 So I'm trying to.

00:52:45.120 It's funny to us.

00:52:46.740 Okay.

00:52:47.700 Which by definition is funny.

00:52:50.140 Yeah.

00:52:50.400 What makes something really funny is when there's a good chunk of truth in there.

00:52:54.060 Right.

00:52:54.440 So on the name of the group chat stuff, I have this Garmin watch that pops up my notifications

00:53:01.500 and I'm sitting at the table in a trial and it pops up and I look because I have my phone

00:53:07.320 silenced and my client looks over and I just like to turn my wrist. 1.00

00:53:11.980 Do you have a real job, stupid? 1.00

00:53:12.980 I turn my watch on. 1.00

00:53:15.440 I just wish you were up at the, you know, when they come or whatever come up.

00:53:18.480 Hey, judge.

00:53:19.280 Yeah.

00:53:19.560 You're up there like this, like on there.

00:53:21.620 And then he just looks down and just see him.

00:53:23.360 That move where they're like kind of on it.

00:53:25.160 Like, oh.

00:53:26.140 Kind of getting chummy with the judge.

00:53:27.580 I should have looked at it, got it, reached over and said, hey, you want to read it?

00:53:31.360 Can you tell me what that says?

00:53:33.200 You don't get it.

00:53:34.000 It's ironic.

00:53:35.020 Or when the teacher would be like, see a note getting past the class and so they'd pull

00:53:39.020 up to the front and read it.

00:53:40.180 It's like, Mr. Yankee, are you reading text messages in my courtroom?

00:53:44.520 Come up here and I'll leave it.

00:53:45.440 Yes.

00:53:46.360 Share with the class.

00:53:47.160 You want to read it?

00:53:47.860 You got to share it with the courtroom. 0.97

00:53:49.600 Tyler, I do not believe your story that you ironically titled this poem, Nigger.

00:53:55.660 And I'm like, first of all, it's not a poem. 0.50

00:53:59.460 I'm sorry.

00:54:00.140 Are poems feelings?

00:54:01.060 They're the same thing I thought.

00:54:02.360 More of a manifesto of sorts.

00:54:05.100 David Brady.

00:54:05.920 Tyler can't make racist comments.

00:54:07.300 Otherwise, he loses an hour of his electricity privileges. 0.98

00:54:10.180 That's pretty fucking funny. 0.95

00:54:11.480 Right. 0.98

00:54:12.240 And they'll focus on. 1.00

00:54:13.460 Hey, fuck you, David Brady. 1.00

00:54:14.560 I just imagine David during these, like, studiously making notes. 1.00

00:54:17.020 Like, is that one funny? 1.00

00:54:17.920 No, fuck. 1.00

00:54:18.420 Next one. 1.00

00:54:19.560 Because he's always trying to drop jokes.

00:54:21.940 He's a great. 1.00

00:54:22.880 He's always workshopping shit. 1.00

00:54:24.260 He's 18 now, isn't he? 1.00

00:54:25.400 He's finally, he's finally.

00:54:26.280 Yeah, we could, I could, we could, we could fudge pack him.

00:54:30.020 Yeah, these aren't sex crimes for us broadcasting this to him anymore.

00:54:33.940 So, that's good.

00:54:34.960 Woo, we made it, guys.

00:54:36.340 Hey, I just want to say this.

00:54:38.240 I'm not, I'm not, I, I like Glow Nigger. 1.00

00:54:41.100 I'm not gay. 0.96

00:54:41.860 I like Glow Nigger. 0.97

00:54:43.180 But She-Mail, to me, is better. 0.99

00:54:45.620 Dude, why don't you keep doing this all fucked up? 0.99

00:54:47.460 You're like three away before it's your turn. 0.99

00:54:50.340 Can we go bottom to top one time?

00:54:51.800 This is racist.

00:54:52.280 I bet that's how you want to go.

00:54:54.140 All right, well, we're already, I already started.

00:54:55.740 So, Tyler, which one do you prefer?

00:54:57.900 Yeah, Shamali. 0.95

00:55:00.000 Shamali.

00:55:00.520 So, anytime you're mixing a man's name with a female, it's already about as low as you 0.94

00:55:05.980 can go.

00:55:06.480 So, the fact that you combine those two is, to me, derogatory to a man.

00:55:10.440 And so, it's Shamali.

00:55:12.880 I don't really have good reasons.

00:55:15.080 You also can't say the other one. 0.52

00:55:17.400 Oh, Glow Nigger? 0.60

00:55:18.140 Yeah, I can't say that. 1.00

00:55:19.020 Oh, damn. 1.00

00:55:19.640 Oh, he's at it. 1.00

00:55:20.420 Oh, he's at it.

00:55:21.340 He's at it. 0.98

00:55:21.740 Crazy. 0.88

00:55:22.220 Crazy he says, oh my God. 0.97

00:55:23.540 I can say that. 0.92

00:55:23.880 I don't have a real job.

00:55:24.520 Like, you didn't think my parents, I heard this all the time growing up.

00:55:30.180 Did you get fired from being gone?

00:55:31.300 No, wait.

00:55:31.660 Did you grow up in California?

00:55:33.060 No.

00:55:33.880 Oh, okay.

00:55:34.420 I grew up in the Northwest, Oregon and Idaho.

00:55:38.300 I mean, Washington.

00:55:39.320 Oregon and Washington border.

00:55:40.640 Have you heard of Walla Walla, Washington?

00:55:42.460 Yes.

00:55:43.100 There you go.

00:55:43.420 I've seen cartoons.

00:55:44.580 Yeah.

00:55:45.080 At Tyler's next trial, the opposition will play that and go, your honor, I rest my case.

00:55:50.860 Yeah, I didn't go for it.

00:55:52.320 I don't think it's drug attorney.

00:55:53.740 I mean, it's like a divorce hearing.

00:55:55.200 They're just showing Kylie clips.

00:55:56.860 How is this relevant?

00:55:58.680 It's not, but this is entertaining.

00:56:02.460 Tyler, I'm telling Obama.

00:56:04.700 Oh, please do.

00:56:06.280 Like, he's not.

00:56:07.800 He's a, what's a good wife? 1.00

00:56:09.000 He's a yogurt yeti anyway.

00:56:10.780 That's true.

00:56:11.700 That's true.

00:56:12.360 All right, Andy.

00:56:13.920 His wife, though, is a Shemali.

00:56:18.540 Wait, wait.

00:56:19.160 Before we move on, did you see Claire Foster's tweet the other day?

00:56:23.140 That was the funniest one.

00:56:24.740 Which one?

00:56:25.820 I know you're talking about.

00:56:27.060 It was the one he said, or she said.

00:56:30.160 She. 0.93

00:56:31.200 She said the new show with Hillary Clinton, Gutsy, is great and amazing.

00:56:39.880 I really hope they come out with one about Michelle Obama called Ballsy.

00:56:43.480 That was a good one. 0.98

00:56:47.020 It's so fucking funny. 0.97

00:56:48.880 So great. 0.98

00:56:50.060 Such a good account.

00:56:51.380 Oh, yeah.

00:56:53.100 I remember when it was like at like a thousand followers and I was in a group chat with them.

00:56:58.160 Yeah.

00:56:59.520 Yeah.

00:57:00.020 Him, her, they left our chat.

00:57:02.920 Soon after I got in.

00:57:04.140 So maybe it was the problem.

00:57:05.060 Gender fluctuates.

00:57:05.960 So, you know, but Andy. 0.98

00:57:09.040 As a member of the 4chan caucus, I'm going to have to go glow nigger. 1.00

00:57:12.960 Hell yeah, buddy. 0.98

00:57:13.720 4chan caucus of 4chan. 0.95

00:57:15.500 I swear some of y'all are just intentionally just being, you know, contrarian and just going with the gay answers here throughout this. 1.00

00:57:21.560 So luckily we seem to prevail each time.

00:57:23.500 So it's good.

00:57:23.800 No, here's the thing.

00:57:24.740 With me with Shemail is I was like I was kicked out of the discord because of Shemail.

00:57:29.240 And so to me, I've never been kicked out of it.

00:57:32.100 I've never been kicked out.

00:57:32.800 So you can't be objective here.

00:57:34.440 I think you're.

00:57:35.820 But the thing is I have never, I have never been kicked out of any like group I've in.

00:57:42.320 I've ever been in online for saying the N word.

00:57:45.300 But I have been kicked out for saying Shemail.

00:57:48.140 How is so to me?

00:57:49.640 What discord group were you kicked out of?

00:57:51.020 I was kicked out of a libertarian discord group.

00:57:54.140 It was a, it was one.

00:57:55.400 Very libertarian of them.

00:57:56.420 Was it run by John Waldenberger?

00:57:58.220 It was a transfer liberty group.

00:58:01.520 No, no, no, no, no, no.

00:58:02.240 Was it bigger before you said Shemail?

00:58:03.960 It was, it was a member.

00:58:05.120 It was a member of the E-Malitia's discord. 0.99

00:58:09.500 Doing it in weird hours of the night to see like, then like slowly where there's higher

00:58:12.940 traffic.

00:58:13.800 Was that the Mises one? 1.00

00:58:16.400 What?

00:58:16.980 The Mises caucus? 0.92

00:58:18.200 No, I was, I was in that one.

00:58:20.060 I was the one supplying the racist memes.

00:58:22.320 Oh, yeah.

00:58:24.200 Oh, yeah.

00:58:24.800 Did you get booted off of that?

00:58:26.060 Because you were just dropping racist memes?

00:58:27.840 No, no, no.

00:58:28.260 I didn't get booted.

00:58:28.980 I got my, my, my discord itself got, uh, from a different discord, but, but yes, I miss 0.98

00:58:35.300 the days when you, uh, you guys would like show me the shit you were causing actually 0.98

00:58:38.960 on the inside. 0.99

00:58:39.840 Oh, yeah.

00:58:40.200 That was amazing.

00:58:41.140 That was so much fun. 0.99

00:58:42.140 I would just go in there and just cause all sorts of shit and make people upset. 0.99

00:58:46.340 This is why we'll never be fucking successful because we're just too trying to, we're just 0.99

00:58:49.440 too focused on trying to be dicks and funny. 0.99

00:58:51.300 Oh, yeah. 0.97

00:58:51.960 You know what?

00:58:52.760 As I laid out in my episode last week, I a hundred percent disagree.

00:58:56.000 I think that's, I think that's proper political maneuvering. 1.00

00:58:58.620 Fucking bully out all the faggots, uh, you know, rally your fucking friends and fucking 1.00

00:59:02.960 do, do fucking gangster ass shit. 1.00

00:59:05.320 Uh, you know, this is why Lydia will never like you, Jose. 1.00

00:59:09.840 I don't really like her too much.

00:59:11.400 Well, sorry, Jose, she is 100% your body type. 0.98

00:59:15.660 She is.

00:59:15.940 Nah, dude.

00:59:16.720 She's just like, no, I mean, she's not like thick. 0.99

00:59:20.320 She's just like that, like skinny fat where it's like, you know what I mean though? 0.99

00:59:25.900 It's like, there's like thick where like they got some curves, but like, she's just like 1.00

00:59:30.200 thick in the literal meaning of the word, you know?

00:59:33.720 It's when those girls are like, they're, they're, they're big, but they still have no 1.00

00:59:37.780 ass. 0.99

00:59:38.220 It's very, it's a very weird thing. 0.90

00:59:39.460 I mean, I have no idea.

00:59:40.500 I'm just guessing.

00:59:41.120 I've only seen her like here or like shoulders up, but that's just like, I feel like I'm

00:59:44.940 pretty good at like, uh, what's that called?

00:59:46.440 All the, uh, dudes, you know, no, uh, fudge packing. 0.95

00:59:51.080 No, it's like whenever they, uh, fizzy, not fizzy, non, fizzy, non, I mean, whatever 0.97

00:59:56.060 the fuck it's called. 0.99

00:59:57.340 Misogyny. 1.00

00:59:57.980 Yeah. 1.00

00:59:59.360 He's killer. 1.00

01:00:01.600 And he knows what I'm talking about. 1.00

01:00:02.560 They'll always post people's face and be like a fizzy, fizzy on many, it's such a fucking 1.00

01:00:06.060 retarded word check. 1.00

01:00:07.320 Physiotomy. 0.99

01:00:08.120 Is it like, uh, there's like a G in there, but I don't know what the fuck it was. 0.96

01:00:11.220 Science in Django. 0.98

01:00:14.100 Is that science that Hitler used to, uh, if they were like, if they're Aryan or not? 0.95

01:00:20.760 But now they just do it to be like all these like losers, especially like big influencers 1.00

01:00:25.020 and they'll just post their face and be like, look at this fucking dork. 1.00

01:00:27.840 Oh, I know what you're talking about. 1.00

01:00:29.200 Yes.

01:00:29.860 Yeah.

01:00:30.720 Just from that.

01:00:31.680 I can just tell, like, I don't think it's a curvy broad, but like Jose, Jose passing up

01:00:37.540 Lydia confirms that he's not black.

01:00:40.360 Yeah.

01:00:40.740 No, we'll take literal thick.

01:00:44.160 Yes.

01:00:44.780 She is the type that you normally see with a mixed race child. 1.00

01:00:48.640 Like, she is definitely like, you know, like back, like, you know, end of the day, you're 0.99

01:00:53.500 fucking, you struck out and like, you're pretty cocked pretty well already. 1.00

01:00:57.780 You're like, ah, fuck it. 1.00

01:00:58.560 Why not? 1.00

01:00:59.040 Like, but it's not like that bad, you know, like, but it's not like something I'd jump

01:01:02.740 at, you know?

01:01:03.160 How many beers, Jose?

01:01:04.400 How many beers would it take?

01:01:05.820 I mean, I would do it sober, uh, a dead serious, but like, this is like bar scenario.

01:01:11.360 This is like, if I've already run out of my foot, you know, I never put it in.

01:01:14.640 This is what's called, uh, black tracking.

01:01:16.940 Yeah, that one, I'm like, I don't even think she's pretty. 1.00

01:01:20.380 I mean, I fuck her sober. 1.00

01:01:21.300 Don't get me wrong. 1.00

01:01:23.840 No, he's literally just ragging on this bitch for like five minutes and they're like, well, 1.00

01:01:28.200 how many beers would it take? 0.99

01:01:29.160 And he's like, sober.

01:01:30.660 What are you talking about?

01:01:31.420 Beers.

01:01:32.060 I don't want to wet my window. 1.00

01:01:33.080 I just want to get my dick wet. 1.00

01:01:34.300 What's the problem, guys? 1.00

01:01:35.580 I'm using her as a cum dumpster. 1.00

01:01:37.260 It's not about what they look like. 1.00

01:01:38.640 It's literally, I'm calling them garbage. 0.99

01:01:40.700 I just, you know, it'd be pretty gross for me not to hit sober. 0.98

01:01:43.880 Uh, cause I'm dead serious.

01:01:46.220 Uh, at the end of the day, like a hole's a hole.

01:01:52.900 I mean, I prefer it to be well adorned, but you know, we want a precious moment statue

01:01:58.760 to pop out of it.

01:01:59.580 I'm so, this is so funny because now I can't take anything he says about a woman, like, 1.00

01:02:06.600 look seriously at all.

01:02:08.460 Like, you can't be good. 0.99

01:02:09.460 Cause whenever she's talking to other shit, she'd be like, he would just fuck anything. 1.00

01:02:11.920 I'm like, yeah, I don't give a shit. 1.00

01:02:13.340 I'm like, not anything, anything. 0.99

01:02:14.600 There are limits to this, but like, it's kind of zeros and ones, but I can still be objective 0.95

01:02:19.440 and be like, nah, she's ugly. 1.00

01:02:21.520 It's a fucker. 1.00

01:02:23.240 I think, I think the, when you say somebody is ugly, that means unfuckable to me. 1.00

01:02:27.940 It doesn't. 0.58

01:02:28.520 No, it doesn't.

01:02:29.500 I get what he's saying, but I was just more fascinated with this turn of like that quick.

01:02:34.040 It was like, she's not sick, she's just fat, she's not going to be drunk for, like way

01:02:40.940 back in the day. 0.98

01:02:42.540 Does this go for your porn too? 0.98

01:02:44.120 Do you, do you like, you know, I don't mind if they're ugly. 0.99

01:02:47.240 He just types it in.

01:02:48.580 The first one comes up, he's like, I don't need anything else.

01:02:51.580 I don't feel like looking for another tab.

01:02:53.440 His hand imagination coordination is like off the charts. 0.99

01:02:56.720 Jose doesn't get off the for you page for fucking Pornhub. 0.99

01:02:59.120 He's like, this is whatever lands on. 1.00

01:03:00.600 Like, Jose sees a curvy piece of driftwood and just starts jacking off.

01:03:04.440 He's just like, whatever, it's right there.

01:03:05.900 I mean, it's.

01:03:06.540 Fold back an ear, a loose arm, a fat, I'm good to go.

01:03:09.940 You know what, you kind of, that kind of adds to my point though, Cole. 0.68

01:03:12.340 Like, say with porn, you have like an unlimited like selection.

01:03:15.140 Like, there's no like, you know, you got to, like, I don't know, there's less on the line.

01:03:19.700 Whereas like getting laid, you're like, you know, this is a sure deal.

01:03:22.920 Yeah, she's not pretty. 0.99

01:03:24.500 But like with porn, you're like, I can find a pretty one. 0.93

01:03:26.860 Like, you know.

01:03:29.040 Also, to defend Jose. 1.00

01:03:30.760 There's a difference between a hot chick and like, would you fuck her. 1.00

01:03:33.460 There is a difference there. 1.00

01:03:34.560 Like, I understand what you're saying.

01:03:35.580 Yes, I understand that difference.

01:03:37.360 But there's also a difference between an ugly, like the other side too. 1.00

01:03:41.940 Like, because I mean, there's a very, I feel like, would you fuck and ugly. 0.99

01:03:46.260 There's a, I mean, a very large chasm between that. 0.99

01:03:49.240 There should be, I think. 0.98

01:03:51.980 Sometimes if you're in a draft spell, you got to bang an ugly chick just to get your confidence back. 1.00

01:03:55.780 Dude, ugly. 0.99

01:03:56.620 You know what? 0.96

01:03:57.220 Like, I can be like a chick's not good looking and be like, and still be like, that was a fun time. 1.00

01:04:01.820 Because dude, the ugly and fat chicks, they will fucking get down. 1.00

01:04:05.200 Like, they're working for it. 1.00

01:04:06.460 Yeah.

01:04:06.640 Sometimes they feel like they have to put in the extra effort.

01:04:08.860 Yeah.

01:04:09.100 So you're like, okay, turn over like that.

01:04:11.200 That's fine.

01:04:11.840 Sure.

01:04:12.080 Face the wall.

01:04:12.760 Whatever.

01:04:13.020 You put a feed bag on them.

01:04:15.460 You keep them busy.

01:04:16.120 You do what you want.

01:04:17.400 Put a feed bag on them. 1.00

01:04:19.720 Look at me like a fucking horse. 1.00

01:04:21.280 In some ways, you know, like super hot chicks. 1.00

01:04:24.580 I would actually probably refer to fuck a less attractive chick in most times because I know they put in the work. 1.00

01:04:31.000 If I'm just guessing. 0.99

01:04:31.980 Because those super hot chicks, like I feel like they're usually the most boring. 1.00

01:04:35.180 Yeah.

01:04:36.100 Well, not my wife, but yes, mostly.

01:04:40.920 Jose's just telling on himself. 0.99

01:04:44.740 I don't give a shit. 0.99

01:04:45.900 Jose's about to go to his wife as, I'm glad you're so, you're just, you're like a six. 1.00

01:04:50.060 And I love that about you.

01:04:52.360 Honestly, if you were an eight, babe, I don't know if I'd be with you.

01:04:56.260 Would you marry? 0.99

01:04:57.300 My wife's fucking fine. 1.00

01:04:58.600 Like, she's fucking sexy. 1.00

01:05:00.340 But like, yeah, I mean, I can be objective and you're giving my other, like, would I fuck? 1.00

01:05:04.640 Would I date? 0.98

01:05:05.700 Like, they're differing levels.

01:05:07.460 You know?

01:05:08.180 We don't have crazy matrix. 1.00

01:05:09.300 Man, find someone you can fuck and date. 1.00

01:05:11.660 Yeah, I'm married. 1.00

01:05:12.300 Hi.

01:05:13.040 So.

01:05:14.440 Did we finish this one off?

01:05:16.700 Adam hasn't gone.

01:05:17.760 Oh, I, yeah.

01:05:19.060 I don't, I, well, I feel like glow isn't, like, that's not like a, that's like only a slur because it's 4chan.

01:05:23.880 Like, it's not like a direct, it's just for feds.

01:05:25.760 It's just a slang for feds, which isn't really a.

01:05:27.360 You like it for it?

01:05:27.960 Because 4chan's awesome, so.

01:05:29.560 No, no.

01:05:30.120 Yeah, it is.

01:05:30.600 I'm not just saying, though, but like, it came from just like a slang for a fed.

01:05:34.780 I don't know.

01:05:36.080 She-mail is always like a. 1.00

01:05:38.320 This one's hard. 0.98

01:05:39.300 She-mail actually legitimately makes transgender people mad. 0.99

01:05:42.640 Yeah. 0.66

01:05:42.860 They legit get upset about it.

01:05:44.080 Like, no feds can be like.

01:05:44.980 But yet they tag themselves on their own porn for that, so I don't understand. 0.98

01:05:48.520 I'm going to be so mad at y'all if we fucking push on she-mail. 0.97

01:05:51.560 Sorry. 1.00

01:05:52.240 Yeah, fuck you. 1.00

01:05:53.280 Well, actually, you still have a 3 to 1. 1.00

01:05:56.380 You do have a 3 to 2.

01:05:57.820 It would still be, so. 0.91

01:05:58.960 Could you replace glow nigger with another slur for a fed? 0.99

01:06:03.100 Would there be any better slur for a fed? 0.94

01:06:05.160 I think that's the tippy top there, I think.

01:06:07.260 It might be the, yeah, it's just like, slur for, it's, I don't know, because like, they 1.00

01:06:11.160 don't care.

01:06:12.520 Like, but if you call a she-mail that, they'll lose their mind. 0.99

01:06:15.260 That's the difference. 1.00

01:06:16.000 They'll lose their fucking mind. 1.00

01:06:16.820 Like, one actually has an impact, one doesn't. 1.00

01:06:19.060 And I wouldn't use the porn category, because those are already so degenerate anyways. 0.62

01:06:25.020 I mean, if you're a transgender and they get into porn, I mean, at that point, I mean, 1.00

01:06:29.060 I mean, nothing's going to bother you. 0.98

01:06:31.020 I'm going to be a bummer.

01:06:32.060 I'm going to go on she-mail. 0.99

01:06:32.680 Sorry.

01:06:33.340 Thank you.

01:06:34.060 Sorry.

01:06:34.840 It just, it makes more sense.

01:06:36.360 No, it's still 3 to 2. 1.00

01:06:37.260 There's only five people here, dumbass. 1.00

01:06:38.680 Oh, hell yeah. 1.00

01:06:40.040 Well, fuck it. 1.00

01:06:40.580 Fuck you. 1.00

01:06:41.840 All right. 1.00

01:06:42.380 Well, fuck you. 1.00

01:06:43.200 Adam, Adam Lane ducked the vote, really. 1.00

01:06:45.680 You would have, Eric would have helped you out, Jose.

01:06:47.560 It really wouldn't have mattered what I said.

01:06:51.900 Yeah, you know, I don't care what he had to say anymore.

01:06:54.620 I don't know why I argue.

01:06:55.580 I'm sorry, you're bad at math.

01:06:58.400 You're like, why is this guy hassling me about this vote that doesn't matter? 0.99

01:07:01.780 Hey, by the way, would you say that your hot versus ugly chick fucking hypothesis works 1.00

01:07:09.180 also with men as well? 1.00

01:07:10.820 Say hypothesis again, please.

01:07:12.220 I have a list, and I feel like I said it better. 1.00

01:07:13.720 But you think it works with men, so that ugly men fuck better than hot men? 0.99

01:07:20.460 What's been your experience, Cole? 1.00

01:07:21.740 No, because they don't have experience.

01:07:24.360 Oh, that's, oh, I didn't think about that.

01:07:25.980 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1.00

01:07:26.640 Hot dudes fuck good. 1.00

01:07:27.780 Like, that would be my guess. 1.00

01:07:29.140 Yeah, yeah.

01:07:29.880 And also because usually, usually on the hot to ugly scale for guys, like, ugly means 0.94

01:07:35.580 usually they are fat and or, like, usually, I mean, usually, like, the uglier guys are 0.94

01:07:40.760 fat and the other guys are way more fit. 0.98

01:07:43.760 I mean, just being fit in itself helps out in sex in so many ways, so.

01:07:47.420 It's true.

01:07:47.960 Dude, I slammed it down.

01:07:49.940 Like, yeah. 1.00

01:07:51.640 Yeah, those were, like, the fucking days. 1.00

01:07:53.720 You're doing, like, fucking, like, American Psycho type shit, you know? 1.00

01:07:57.540 Yeah, dead bodies. 1.00

01:07:58.840 Way to go.

01:07:59.420 Where do retards factor in this? 1.00

01:08:00.260 Oh, you know how the steamer is, like, fucking. 1.00

01:08:02.760 Oh, okay, that. 1.00

01:08:04.560 That's a great steam, by the way.

01:08:06.340 Yeah, it's amazing.

01:08:07.020 Do retards count as ugly in this equation? 1.00

01:08:10.700 Oh, I bet retards get fucked. 1.00

01:08:11.620 Not the one that was for the Victoria's Secret model. 1.00

01:08:14.080 Did you guys see that fucking? 1.00

01:08:15.220 Yeah. 1.00

01:08:17.200 Honestly, Jose, if you want to bring it up, that shit is so fucking funny. 0.99

01:08:20.580 If you can find it. 0.98

01:08:21.240 I don't know how to connect on my phone.

01:08:23.260 One of you guys would have to bring it up.

01:08:24.660 But it's definitely not something to just talk about.

01:08:27.300 But it's funny, too. 0.94

01:08:28.500 It's funnier that this guy did multiple tweets about the same, you know, retarded chick. 1.00

01:08:32.700 So it was, like, it was that aspect that's funny.

01:08:35.160 Because I would have looked at his profile and there were other ones of the same chick. 0.88

01:08:38.040 But what it was is this guy was just posting Down Syndrome, like, just chicks.

01:08:42.080 And, like, one head, like, was just kind of curvy. 1.00

01:08:45.520 And it was just, I mean, like, posting about how he's going to smash, like, fuck this down. 0.99

01:08:51.680 I think he said if she's down, I'm down. 0.99

01:08:53.760 And there was another one.

01:08:54.920 I think I got it here if you want me to.

01:08:57.140 Yeah, you can share your screen and pull it up.

01:08:58.860 So the guy who commented under it, he's like, my niece is Down Syndrome.

01:09:02.940 And they were like, do you know how the internet works?

01:09:05.300 So I think this is the Down Swimsuit Edition person?

01:09:10.280 No, no, no, not her.

01:09:11.380 No, it wasn't her.

01:09:12.220 It was a different Downs girl.

01:09:13.480 I mean, it doesn't matter. 0.99

01:09:14.380 You're ruining the joke, cock. 0.99

01:09:16.560 Oh, Jesus. 0.99

01:09:19.140 Isn't she, like, 14 there?

01:09:20.800 I don't know.

01:09:23.020 But look at that swimsuit. 0.99

01:09:23.960 You know what she's asking for.

01:09:27.300 Tyler's ruining his career. 0.99

01:09:28.860 Hey, Elizabeth says that fucking a down person is pretty great because I do pretty good. 0.99

01:09:34.980 Wow. 1.00

01:09:40.160 She's got a lot of experience.

01:09:41.960 Hey, I partly am getting more fit because she did ask if I wanted to lose weight during sex. 1.00

01:09:49.760 So did she give you that shit? 1.00

01:09:51.680 Damn. 1.00

01:09:52.220 Did she give you shit that when she's, like, blown you? 1.00

01:09:54.100 You're, like, the little round of your tummy? 1.00

01:09:55.400 I don't get blown.

01:09:56.820 Oh, that's right.

01:09:57.760 I remember there was one time I got pretty fat.

01:09:59.380 My wife's like, yeah, you're going to have to. 1.00

01:10:01.400 Because this is weird when you're, like, tummy's touching me while I'm sucking your neck. 0.98

01:10:04.680 Touching your forehead. 0.98

01:10:06.600 Boop, boop, boop. 1.00

01:10:07.320 Your foop was pushing into her. 1.00

01:10:11.540 Your foopa. 1.00

01:10:14.500 She's like, I'd touch your balls, but your ass is so big it's, like, pushing out. 1.00

01:10:20.040 That didn't work. 1.00

01:10:20.620 I don't know. 1.00

01:10:21.680 She's eating your ass from behind. 1.00

01:10:23.120 I don't know what's going on here. 1.00

01:10:25.040 I haven't been blown to her.

01:10:26.460 The old rusty trombone, huh?

01:10:28.020 Yeah, I know. 1.00

01:10:28.640 She's fucking. 1.00

01:10:30.540 Tyler, were you going to bring him up or were you just talking with us? 1.00

01:10:32.460 I Googled retarded swimsuit edition, and that's when it came up, literally. 0.99

01:10:37.660 Oh, we were talking about the tweet.

01:10:39.460 Because it's in the group chat.

01:10:40.320 We need to scroll back a bit.

01:10:42.160 But, yeah, Adam, if you haven't heard it before, my wife, literally, it was mid-stroke.

01:10:46.760 She goes, you think about losing weight?

01:10:49.480 That's so funny.

01:10:50.520 That's a long stroke.

01:10:51.960 Yeah. 0.99

01:10:54.280 That's because I'm so fucking fat. 0.99

01:10:56.300 I was like. 0.99

01:10:58.560 Wingman status confirmed.

01:11:00.200 Hired.

01:11:00.560 Dude, I had the exact opposite happen to me.

01:11:02.900 I got called disgustingly skeleton-like.

01:11:05.600 Oh, that's not.

01:11:06.840 That might be even worse.

01:11:08.400 When she wraps her arms around you, she's like, ew.

01:11:10.720 You can feel your bones.

01:11:12.300 Yeah, that's exactly what happened.

01:11:13.940 I was like, all right.

01:11:15.520 Yeah.

01:11:16.020 I love your chest cavity.

01:11:17.760 It's a great place but my head. 0.63

01:11:20.600 I feel like I'm sleeping on a hyena carcass.

01:11:23.620 This is so sexy.

01:11:25.820 You double as a Holocaust victim. 0.93

01:11:27.780 Yeah, we get it.

01:11:28.960 All right.

01:11:29.520 All right.

01:11:29.740 That was a long time ago and it did take me a long.

01:11:32.820 I didn't start working out immediately.

01:11:34.320 It took me until we got to remove.

01:11:36.560 So it was like, that was almost a year ago probably.

01:11:38.480 You were in a state of shock, huh?

01:11:39.980 All right.

01:11:40.320 Now we have Hole versus Sugarfoot.

01:11:42.480 The last one.

01:11:44.120 What is Sugarfoot?

01:11:44.920 We'll go down to top this time. 0.98

01:11:46.760 Sugarfoot is our slur for fat people. 0.99

01:11:49.140 Diabetic. 0.99

01:11:50.100 Diabetic. 1.00

01:11:50.700 And to me, when I hear Sugarfoot, I can only – in my head, it immediately pops up a fat black woman too. 1.00

01:11:57.940 Like immediately. 0.99

01:11:59.140 Because they're the ones that call you sugar and I don't know why I just – in my head, just Sugarfoot went right to a fat black lady. 0.99

01:12:05.300 Fair. 0.99

01:12:05.580 And a Hole is also a fat black lady as well. 1.00

01:12:08.760 I mean, Hole wins this, right? 0.99

01:12:10.600 This isn't even an argument.

01:12:12.240 Like it's Hole.

01:12:13.720 And I don't think I'd elaborate further.

01:12:15.060 So like Nuke, you just drop.

01:12:18.140 Like the Moab. 1.00

01:12:19.140 Like you drop that and you fucking stupid Hole. 1.00

01:12:21.420 Like boom! 1.00

01:12:22.540 Yeah, that's like – it's like – yeah, that wins 10 times out of 10.

01:12:26.160 It's undefeated. 0.91

01:12:27.580 Yeah, Hole is just cum dumpster but just like multiplied. 0.98

01:12:32.080 I mean, it's just like cum dumpster on steroids. 1.00

01:12:35.120 Like Jose said, it's like the Tsar Bomb, whatever the fuck they drop. 1.00

01:12:38.880 Because Hole – I mean, cum dumpster makes you think that they actually get like dick. 1.00

01:12:44.240 Like Hole doesn't mean they – they might not even get dick. 1.00

01:12:47.680 Yeah, you're right. 0.99

01:12:48.440 But again, like their only thing they have is their Hole.

01:12:51.840 That's it. 0.91

01:12:52.140 Yeah, you're like you're so vapid as a human, not even as a lady. 1.00

01:12:56.240 Just a human being. 1.00

01:12:58.940 Like you are useless. 1.00

01:13:00.620 Yeah, that wins – it's not even close. 0.99

01:13:02.200 That wins hands down.

01:13:03.460 Yeah, Hole is so good.

01:13:04.520 Sugarfoot got in a hard one here because it is going up against basically –

01:13:08.340 I think Hole is in a one scene.

01:13:08.900 That could be other ones but not this one.

01:13:10.880 Yeah, Sugarfoot could be other ones because we didn't have any other fat people. 0.97

01:13:14.240 On here, I think.

01:13:15.620 There wasn't a lot of other –

01:13:16.520 No, Eric and Pino are over here.

01:13:17.480 What are you talking about?

01:13:20.560 But –

01:13:21.200 They stay away from this one.

01:13:22.740 That was probably strategic on their behalf. 0.99

01:13:24.680 Yeah, I would have shit on both of them against that 100%. 0.99

01:13:26.660 That was a good call. 0.98

01:13:27.600 I was going to get a gas with more sensitive sensibilities so that way we can like –

01:13:32.340 Like, all right, now tell me what you think about these two slurs. 0.99

01:13:34.860 I'm like, what the fuck? 0.98

01:13:35.860 Now, Hole also, I feel like is – I haven't heard as much since Jose brought it up. 0.98

01:13:44.100 I mean, was the one that –

01:13:46.440 He just used it tonight. 1.00

01:13:50.000 He said he just wants to fuck a hole. 1.00

01:13:52.080 That's all he needs. 1.00

01:13:52.940 Yeah, that's true. 0.98

01:13:54.380 But he was the one that brought it up for me whenever the whole fucking Pete thing was going on. 0.98

01:13:58.440 I had never heard of just calling a girl a hole before. 0.98

01:14:01.220 And so to me, it feels like a new one as well.

01:14:03.360 It may not be, but to me, it's new.

01:14:04.540 Oh, dude, the old Opie and Anthony years, brother.

01:14:05.560 I don't know where I heard it, but I know it was an original thing.

01:14:08.840 It was something I pulled from deep back in there.

01:14:11.100 Couldn't tell you where, but I knew it wasn't an original thing.

01:14:14.060 Opie and Anthony used to run like that –

01:14:15.980 When they used to do all the Jocktober stuff back in the day.

01:14:18.740 And it would be like that one lady on the morning show being like, 0.99

01:14:21.660 oh, come on now, guys.

01:14:22.980 That's too far.

01:14:23.960 They used to call them holes all the time.

01:14:25.820 That's where –

01:14:26.160 That's amazing.

01:14:27.200 Yeah. 1.00

01:14:27.340 Ah, damn. 0.99

01:14:27.900 That's where that's probably – you guys are thinking of it from. 1.00

01:14:32.020 No.

01:14:32.680 Okay.

01:14:33.060 Well, that's where it's from in my head. 1.00

01:14:34.720 So fuck you. 1.00

01:14:35.460 So Junkie Jeff, I think – 1.00

01:14:37.320 Junkie Jeff said the hole doesn't do it for me.

01:14:38.940 It's just a word. 1.00

01:14:39.680 Really, it sounds like you're too late to call someone an asshole. 1.00

01:14:41.920 You're not calling them an asshole. 1.00

01:14:43.500 This is specifically for women. 1.00

01:14:45.560 This is specifically for just women that don't have anything else to give except their hole. 1.00

01:14:50.900 That's it.

01:14:51.880 And they honestly might not even –

01:14:54.020 Their hole might not even be that great.

01:14:55.760 It's just – that's all they are.

01:14:56.720 You said also in Ireland getting laid is called getting your hole. 0.98

01:14:59.480 Well, we're not Irish trash. 0.99

01:15:00.920 We're American. 0.98

01:15:01.520 So I don't care what they do.

01:15:03.900 I guess it's less offensive in Ireland then since it's more normal.

01:15:07.260 I mean, sorry.

01:15:08.540 This is an American-based show.

01:15:10.240 I mean, I'm sure if you type into the search bar, you might be able to find some podcasts.

01:15:15.140 I don't know.

01:15:15.940 Just gang-out.

01:15:16.380 But here's the other thing. 0.94

01:15:19.220 I think if you call a girl, a woman, a hole in real life as a person to – a fat person

01:15:23.320 of Sugarfoot, I think they would get much more upset at a hole than Sugarfoot would.

01:15:29.480 I mean, this might be unanimous.

01:15:30.520 So you're going hole too, Cole?

01:15:31.460 Because I feel like earlier you were like, oh, all about Sugarfoot.

01:15:33.600 I thought you said –

01:15:34.020 No, I like Sugarfoot.

01:15:34.920 I think it was – I think it was badly placed in here.

01:15:38.460 I think it should be something else.

01:15:39.220 I wasn't going to get to the end.

01:15:40.860 But Sugarfoot could have gone further if it got a better matchup for sure.

01:15:44.100 Because it's such a funny thing to be like – because it's, you know, attacking fat

01:15:47.780 people for being diabetic, losing their foot.

01:15:50.460 You know, it's – I mean, I think there's a lot of things with it.

01:15:53.920 It's pretty complex.

01:15:54.840 I like it.

01:15:55.700 But behold.

01:15:56.420 It's like an up-and-coming team that you know is actually pretty good, but they're not like

01:15:59.940 amazing.

01:16:00.580 And you're like, oh, they can make it far in this playoff. 0.96

01:16:02.640 And then just get like the number one fucking like opponent like right off the bat and get 0.99

01:16:06.800 destroyed. 1.00

01:16:08.040 Sugarfoot is like too subtle of an insult for fat people. 1.00

01:16:11.080 It's like lard ass or fucking. 1.00

01:16:14.100 Lard ass is pretty good or just fat ass in general. 1.00

01:16:17.440 Just fucking fucking fat ass. 1.00

01:16:20.200 Tub of goo. 1.00

01:16:21.980 Tub of poop. 0.85

01:16:24.320 That's a fat agent. 0.90

01:16:27.420 Oh, definitely going whole on this one.

01:16:30.380 All right. 0.96

01:16:31.700 And Tyler, are you going in the stinky hole? 0.99

01:16:35.060 Always. 1.00

01:16:35.580 I once told a fat guy, I said, what are you going to do, eat me?

01:16:40.440 He'd understood what that meant.

01:16:41.680 He wouldn't understand Sugarfoot. 1.00

01:16:43.200 A hole is – you go camping, you dig a hole, you take a shit in it. 1.00

01:16:46.560 That is a demeaning place to be. 1.00

01:16:48.580 And if you call a woman a hole, you are basically – it's the ultimate. 1.00

01:16:52.120 You know what that is.

01:16:53.280 And so hole is the –

01:16:54.280 You know what? 0.98

01:16:54.880 I feel like shit hole should have been on here just because of Trump and just the thought 0.99

01:16:59.060 of that – we're – shit hole is a slur for a terrible country, any country outside 0.99

01:17:03.520 of America. 1.00

01:17:04.460 A shit hole could be anything. 1.00

01:17:05.620 It could be like a bar. 1.00

01:17:06.460 It could be like a house. 1.00

01:17:06.780 Yeah, but Trump really made it snap when he said shit hole country. 1.00

01:17:10.560 Yeah, and he said shit hole countries. 0.99

01:17:12.760 I mean, and then they made it seem like he was racist, and so now it's a slur, a racist 0.99

01:17:16.760 slur.

01:17:17.380 Great.

01:17:17.960 Amazing.

01:17:18.720 Love it. 1.00

01:17:19.320 Well, Canada is a shit hole country. 1.00

01:17:21.620 You know? 1.00

01:17:22.260 Canada is a shit hole country. 1.00

01:17:23.640 Yeah, 100%. 1.00

01:17:24.420 All right.

01:17:25.260 Well, I'm going with hole.

01:17:26.620 There's not really any need to elaborate on this one, so –

01:17:29.060 What toad pick?

01:17:30.220 Who cares?

01:17:36.680 You don't – by the way, you don't understand how upset he was.

01:17:40.140 He said he was missing a podcast.

01:17:41.500 Oh, my God. 0.98

01:17:42.380 He literally was – he was trying to move it to Thursday like we were some fucking 0.99

01:17:45.940 animals that could just move a podcast. 0.97

01:17:48.200 Our whole like – the blueprint of the show when we started was like, hey, we're all

01:17:52.980 guys who have other shows or a lot of other stuff going on in life.

01:17:55.820 Very busy, so we could have a large cast that we can pull from and just kind of throw

01:17:59.620 it together week by week and whoever can show.

01:18:02.500 And Toad is just like, no, I will make everyone.

01:18:04.680 You're like, dude, you really don't have to.

01:18:06.820 No, I will make – okay, man.

01:18:08.940 And, you know, it's like I'm to vote to the show.

01:18:10.340 I'm like, I don't know what you're trying to prove, but okay.

01:18:12.480 He literally thought at the end of the year we were going to give him a perfect attendance

01:18:15.840 like award.

01:18:17.800 He thinks he's Cal Ripken of the podcast.

01:18:21.000 Let's get toads acting kind of like a hole. 0.99

01:18:23.520 Yeah.

01:18:23.980 Oh, it kind of is.

01:18:25.220 Yeah.

01:18:25.780 And a sugar foot. 0.96

01:18:26.820 I feel like he had –

01:18:27.580 I don't feel like he would have gone sugar foot, but, you know, whatever.

01:18:30.800 He probably went a hole.

01:18:31.660 Well, his attendance record is better than his joke record.

01:18:35.760 And his sports betting record.

01:18:38.380 Don't get him started. 1.00

01:18:40.240 Oh, shit. 0.99

01:18:40.520 The quality of his jokes, though, I feel makes it even better when he does get a zinger. 1.00

01:18:46.540 You're like, whoa.

01:18:47.860 Hey, Elizabeth, your comment does not make him look better.

01:18:53.680 Yeah, that was mean.

01:18:54.660 I mean, that was meaner than what I just said. 1.00

01:18:56.920 She just said, he's a loser. 1.00

01:18:58.640 Leave him alone. 1.00

01:19:00.740 Whoa, whoa, whoa.

01:19:01.620 That's such a burden on himself.

01:19:02.960 Let him enjoy it.

01:19:04.340 All right.

01:19:04.760 So for the Hateful Eight, now we're going to have what will be Hole versus –

01:19:09.380 what did we go?

01:19:10.040 Come Dumpster. 1.00

01:19:10.680 Dumpster.

01:19:11.200 It's an interesting matchup.

01:19:12.980 So I think we know that's going to blow it out of the water again, but whatever.

01:19:16.440 We have –

01:19:17.260 It's a one seed.

01:19:18.560 Glow Nigger versus Can't Face Duke.

01:19:20.500 I like that.

01:19:21.640 No, Shemale won.

01:19:23.280 No way.

01:19:24.120 Did it?

01:19:25.200 Oh, yeah.

01:19:26.000 Are you sure?

01:19:26.880 Adam picked Shemale.

01:19:29.020 Wait, Andy, did you really vote for Shemale?

01:19:31.720 No.

01:19:32.300 I vote – me and Jose voted for Glow Nigger. 0.99

01:19:34.620 And then Tyler did vote for Shemale.

01:19:38.520 Yeah.

01:19:39.160 Yeah.

01:19:39.480 Oh, he did win.

01:19:40.340 Shemale did win.

01:19:41.600 I totally forgot. 1.00

01:19:42.840 Fuck you. 1.00

01:19:44.640 Check out Shemale's got to vote. 1.00

01:19:47.100 Now it matters.

01:19:48.140 This is how politics works.

01:19:49.260 The election was stolen. 1.00

01:19:51.000 Oh, shit. 0.99

01:19:51.740 This episode's – 0.99

01:19:52.880 Oh, I am not happy about that at all.

01:19:55.000 Yeah, Shemale versus Pan-Faced Gook. 0.97

01:19:57.120 I love it.

01:19:57.560 Whatever, you Shemale. 0.98

01:19:59.080 That's what's funny.

01:20:00.420 Shemale and Pan-Faced Gook are both things that happen in Vietnam. 0.94

01:20:04.500 That's what happens when you let Agorist vote.

01:20:07.140 Right. 1.00

01:20:07.600 Fucker. 1.00

01:20:09.020 All right, whatever. 1.00

01:20:09.700 Then we have Moon Cricket versus Street Shooter.

01:20:11.540 That's a tight matchup.

01:20:13.600 Then Zipper Tits versus Shecklesniffer. 1.00

01:20:15.760 That's good as well.

01:20:16.640 The right side seems to be lacking.

01:20:18.260 But the right side is like one that is going to be like clearly make it through.

01:20:21.940 Adam, speaking of Moon Cricket.

01:20:24.400 Oh, yeah.

01:20:25.220 So my buddy Blaise Gagek is a comic.

01:20:28.460 He opens for me on the road and stuff like that.

01:20:30.500 He didn't know that was a slur at all.

01:20:32.680 He just thought that was like just a saying. 0.98

01:20:35.380 And we're outside of a club and we're doing comedy and fucking – it's like four black comics. 0.99

01:20:43.420 And out of nowhere, he's like, fucking Moon Cricket. 0.99

01:20:45.920 And they're like, what? 0.99

01:20:46.940 I'm like, you got to go right now.

01:20:49.200 You got to go right now or you're going to get the chicken.

01:20:50.980 I was like, he didn't even know.

01:20:53.380 He thought it was something else.

01:20:55.180 And anyway, we're not allowed back there anymore.

01:20:57.580 So thanks, Blaise.

01:20:59.000 Wait, you weren't allowed back to the club?

01:21:02.340 Are you serious?

01:21:03.320 It wasn't a club.

01:21:04.020 It was like a venue, but yeah.

01:21:05.460 Did this happen – how recent was this?

01:21:07.360 Two years ago.

01:21:08.860 Oh, my God.

01:21:09.840 That's amazing.

01:21:11.640 But he was just yelling it out.

01:21:12.720 He truly didn't know.

01:21:13.500 He's like, wait a minute.

01:21:14.020 That's like a slur.

01:21:14.560 I was like, yeah.

01:21:15.420 He's like, to who?

01:21:16.120 I'm like, the guys.

01:21:17.300 Bill, right there.

01:21:18.420 Those guys. 1.00

01:21:18.780 I got to stop kicking the shit out of you. 1.00

01:21:20.140 Those guys. 0.99

01:21:20.880 Those four Moon Crickets right there.

01:21:24.140 So how do you know that phrase and not know – because I didn't know that phrase,

01:21:27.700 but I could immediately tell that –

01:21:29.140 He said he just heard it from like a relative of his, but you should have gave it all the –

01:21:32.180 David Duke.

01:21:35.320 You've heard of him, right?

01:21:36.140 My uncle David.

01:21:38.260 I once – I was working with this black guy, and I kept saying boy.

01:21:43.100 And evidently that's not – I didn't know that what you were supposed to say.

01:21:46.920 It's not necessarily a slur, but yeah.

01:21:48.680 Yeah. 0.92

01:21:49.580 You could call a black guy boy and see what he does to you. 1.00

01:21:54.000 I was calling you massa. 0.98

01:21:55.160 Well, I did that too.

01:21:58.120 Is this really episode 88?

01:22:01.800 It is.

01:22:02.740 Wow, right?

01:22:03.260 Hell yeah, Heil Hitler. 0.70

01:22:05.480 Wow.

01:22:07.440 I learned some interesting anti-Semitic history that a lot of people use this phrase today,

01:22:14.120 and they don't know it's anti-Semitic.

01:22:16.540 It's beyond the pale comes from czarist Russia when they outlawed Jewish people from moving to certain areas of the country.

01:22:27.820 It was the settlement pact or the – they would be moving beyond the pale of where they're allowed to go.

01:22:34.140 So if you say beyond the pale, it's anti-Semitic.

01:22:37.260 Hell yeah.

01:22:38.000 I'm going to start using beyond the pale a lot.

01:22:39.040 Add that to the list.

01:22:40.200 It depends on how you interpret it. 0.99

01:22:42.480 If you're like, oh, we're keeping them motherfuckers early. 0.99

01:22:44.720 I feel like beyond the pale is something that's like so bad. 0.99

01:22:47.180 So like that's beyond the pale.

01:22:48.980 And so that would be like a –

01:22:50.160 Yeah, like Jews. 1.00

01:22:51.300 This is like that one time.

01:22:52.800 Like we've heard this before, you know?

01:22:54.440 So like –

01:22:55.520 It's been normalized though because it's used in popular culture, yeah.

01:23:00.380 Do you know why 88 is better than 69?

01:23:05.360 Because you get eight twice.

01:23:07.340 Yeah.

01:23:08.540 No, no, no, no, no, no.

01:23:11.660 I hated it.

01:23:15.640 I got a lot of those dad 69 jokes.

01:23:18.680 I had a quick question for Adam.

01:23:20.440 This is actually like a comic question.

01:23:22.980 Is the outside – like the outside of the venue or outside of like the comic strip that went into the comics –

01:23:27.700 is that the funniest part though right there?

01:23:29.540 I feel like that would be – whenever the comics go outside to take a smoke, I feel like that would be the funniest thing to be.

01:23:33.980 Oh, it's always the most fun depending on who you're hanging with. 0.98

01:23:36.540 If you're hanging with some fucking nerds, then no. 0.98

01:23:38.800 But yeah, the comics are fun. 1.00

01:23:39.900 It's the most wild shit. 0.98

01:23:41.020 Like we run a monthly show by my house and the green room we have there, it gets pretty wild. 1.00

01:23:46.820 It's some pretty crazy shit, yeah. 0.99

01:23:49.400 Especially when your buddy is calling everyone moon crickets. 0.98

01:23:53.920 So is it more or less fun when – what's that guy's name?

01:23:56.840 Figs? 1.00

01:23:57.620 God damn it. 1.00

01:23:58.180 I like Figs. 1.00

01:24:00.340 I won't take in the slander.

01:24:02.920 When you go outside to take a smoke and Mike Figs is already out there, do you walk back inside or do you –

01:24:08.680 I want to ask everybody here.

01:24:11.040 First off, Tyler, do you think you're funnier than Figs? 0.98

01:24:14.660 Of course.

01:24:15.740 Hello.

01:24:16.620 You're the Mike Feeney thing.

01:24:17.680 Andy, are you funnier than Figs? 1.00

01:24:19.840 I don't – this is the first I've ever heard of Figs. 0.92

01:24:22.280 So I'm going to say yes.

01:24:22.960 So, yeah.

01:24:24.640 Cole, do you think you're funnier than Figs? 0.95

01:24:26.580 100%.

01:24:26.900 I would – well, I would – I know I'd be better on Legion of Skanks than he would be. 0.64

01:24:30.560 Yeah.

01:24:30.820 I think I'm funnier than Figs. 0.99

01:24:32.840 Adam, do you think you're funnier than Figs?

01:24:34.480 I plead the fifth.

01:24:36.500 Oh, you –

01:24:37.420 See, no, no, that was wrong.

01:24:38.880 You know what the funny thing about this question, though, is it's – it only sounds bad, but it really – if you think about it, it's like you should – like, unless you have, like, no sense of ego at all, you should think you're funnier than him.

01:24:49.500 I know.

01:24:50.000 Especially as a comic. 0.99

01:24:51.140 They talked about this because they did the lie detector with those – fuck, who are those guys? 0.99

01:24:56.660 Yeah. 0.99

01:24:57.200 And they asked if they were funnier than one of his friends.

01:25:00.460 Feeney.

01:25:00.920 Mike Feeney, yeah.

01:25:01.640 Yeah, then Mike Feeney.

01:25:03.020 Guys named Mike just aren't good at comics.

01:25:04.620 But – and, yeah, and they were – and they discussed where it's – as a comic, you should always be, like, I'm funnier than anybody.

01:25:12.320 I mean, I'm funnier than –

01:25:13.040 Yeah, but, like – 0.99

01:25:13.920 I'm not funnier than fucking Jay. 0.99

01:25:15.380 Like, you know who you're better than and not. 0.99

01:25:18.140 Like, you kind of have an idea of who you're better than.

01:25:19.880 Like, I would never be, like, I'm funnier than Jay.

01:25:21.320 Like, Jay, it's crazy.

01:25:22.220 Why are you funnier than Figs? 1.00

01:25:31.000 Figs is a good stand-up.

01:25:32.240 I don't know.

01:25:33.160 Does he good – do you get –

01:25:34.600 Yeah, he does.

01:25:35.800 He's a regular –

01:25:36.820 He knows the stand-up.

01:25:39.080 Okay.

01:25:39.840 So he doesn't –

01:25:40.560 I mean, he could be amazing, Sam.

01:25:41.560 I have no idea.

01:25:42.200 So he doesn't say jokes like this.

01:25:43.840 What do the Japanese call 69?

01:25:47.660 What?

01:25:49.120 Toucan chew.

01:25:53.840 I love it.

01:25:54.620 I got a bunch more.

01:25:55.660 Just hang on.

01:25:57.360 Hey, David.

01:25:58.220 You said you can't get him on the show. 0.97

01:25:59.620 We would fucking love to have – 0.98

01:26:01.480 I tried. 1.00

01:26:02.360 He, like, even was, like, liking this shit. 1.00

01:26:03.820 They would never answer. 1.00

01:26:05.600 Yeah, he just doesn't – yeah.

01:26:06.980 He's just – we missed our chance.

01:26:10.580 He's gotten too big.

01:26:11.380 He's opening up for Rogan now.

01:26:12.960 It's like – we're done.

01:26:14.820 You're done.

01:26:15.860 Yeah. 1.00

01:26:16.480 Send one of your wives or something after him because he seems to be quite the man-whore. 1.00

01:26:20.220 Oh, he's – yeah. 1.00

01:26:21.120 That's true. 1.00

01:26:21.580 He is a fucking man-whore, dude. 1.00

01:26:23.660 Dude's egg-crushing just all sorts of box all the time. 1.00

01:26:26.180 Do you think Figs gets a lot of pussy? 1.00

01:26:28.700 He's married, so – 1.00

01:26:29.780 Okay.

01:26:30.300 So, no.

01:26:30.780 So, no.

01:26:31.140 So, no.

01:26:36.000 All right.

01:26:36.480 I would put, like, my entire reputation on the fact that I'm funnier than Figs by just about every metric. 1.00

01:26:41.960 But for me –

01:26:42.720 You couldn't do stand-up better than him.

01:26:44.380 No, he would dominate me in stand-up.

01:26:46.280 So, I'll give him that.

01:26:47.280 Cool.

01:26:48.360 I guess.

01:26:48.780 Yeah, you guys are definitely funnier on podcasts.

01:26:53.980 Yeah.

01:26:54.300 Oh, cool.

01:26:54.940 You're funny in one very specific mode.

01:26:57.840 Not in, like, you know, what applies to the vast majority of the rest of your life, you know, being conversationally.

01:27:04.360 Yes, Tyler.

01:27:05.460 You had him on with a lady. 1.00

01:27:07.580 Who was funnier on your podcast?

01:27:10.400 Shannon's not a comic.

01:27:11.880 That's not what I said.

01:27:15.020 Shannon has her own podcast, too, as well.

01:27:17.600 I was on that at all, though.

01:27:18.920 Is it not a comedy podcast?

01:27:19.840 No.

01:27:20.660 Oh.

01:27:20.960 It's not.

01:27:21.560 So, who was funnier?

01:27:23.260 Who was more fun?

01:27:24.260 Figs. 0.99

01:27:24.540 Figs. 0.99

01:27:24.620 We actually did the episode.

01:27:25.520 So, he's more funny than a woman. 1.00

01:27:28.100 All right.

01:27:28.860 We set his standards.

01:27:29.500 I'll give him that.

01:27:30.840 I'll agree with that.

01:27:31.860 He's funnier.

01:27:32.240 Oh, that's true.

01:27:32.820 Yeah.

01:27:33.120 Any woman that goes on Legion of Skanks is less funny than Mike Figs. 1.00

01:27:36.700 So, that's – even when – because who was it that came on recently?

01:27:41.080 Whitney.

01:27:41.800 Yeah, Whitney. 0.95

01:27:42.440 Which, she's not fucking – 1.00

01:27:44.280 She did okay, though. 0.93

01:27:45.640 I didn't –

01:27:46.440 That was pretty –

01:27:47.320 That wasn't bad.

01:27:47.860 She shot on Berg pretty funny.

01:27:48.840 I'm friends with Berg.

01:27:49.900 Yeah.

01:27:50.720 That was a pretty good roast.

01:27:51.640 She –

01:27:52.640 Well, she's better than usually she is on podcasts because usually she just takes over. 1.00

01:27:56.920 She played along with everything.

01:27:58.440 Yeah.

01:27:58.720 She usually –

01:27:59.020 I'm going to go out on a limb here and say P-Nord is funnier. 1.00

01:28:03.200 That actually is the point where I invented this.

01:28:05.540 That's the level I think.

01:28:07.000 I think Figs is funnier there.

01:28:08.900 Hey, Andy, what does it say on that truck behind your Confederate flag?

01:28:13.180 It says something white?

01:28:14.980 Oh, yeah.

01:28:15.660 White. 0.81

01:28:17.700 Is that just a fortuitous thing in the background or was that staged?

01:28:22.120 I couldn't tell you honestly.

01:28:23.740 I just ripped the first picture with – it's going to kill me.

01:28:27.560 I don't know his name.

01:28:29.540 Oh, by the way –

01:28:30.840 H.K.

01:28:31.520 Egerton.

01:28:31.960 That's his name.

01:28:32.520 I don't know if you can bring out the signal chat on here, Cole, but yeah, or just go to Twitter.

01:28:38.440 Yeah, they commented on one of Crenshaw's things, and it was pretty hard.

01:28:42.360 I feel like they may have completely just like kicked over the pot again.

01:28:46.660 Good.

01:28:47.160 What did they say?

01:28:47.880 What did they say?

01:28:48.800 Are they disrespecting veterans?

01:28:50.940 It was a picture of McCain with horns along with Liz Cheney or someone else.

01:28:57.760 No, Madeline Albright in horns, and they're saying something like they're going to share

01:29:02.400 hell together.

01:29:03.540 Hell, yeah.

01:29:04.520 No, here's a –

01:29:05.620 Right above it, they had the casket picture too.

01:29:07.720 All right.

01:29:07.900 You know how Dan Crenshaw got trolled by Alex Stein recently?

01:29:11.180 I mean, you guys may have seen that. 0.98

01:29:12.520 But he – you know, fucking he made someone bitching about like – you know, some tweet 0.98

01:29:17.040 bitching about it with a video of Alex Stein. 0.99

01:29:18.900 But it says below it, LP and H puts, we are looking forward to one day tweeting about

01:29:22.840 Dan Crenshaw the way we will continue to tweet about John McCain with the picture.

01:29:27.080 Dude, that's awesome.

01:29:29.080 I was like, oh, my God. 1.00

01:29:30.240 Dan Crenshaw and his stupid fucking eye. 1.00

01:29:32.400 Who gives a fucking – 1.00

01:29:33.300 I love it, though, because it's just dropping your dick on the table. 1.00

01:29:35.760 Not to ruin the mood here, but I thought of something last night when Dave's talking, 1.00

01:29:40.340 and it reminded me, you know, he wants to curb or cull the –

01:29:44.000 Your enthusiasm?

01:29:44.360 No, he wants to cull the attention of like media, right?

01:29:50.220 So we want to be nice to Lydia because it gets us and da-da-da-da. 0.67

01:29:53.580 Well, it reminded me of what we used to say about John McCain, which was he sluts for – or he 1.00

01:29:59.200 whores himself out to the media so that they like him. 1.00

01:30:03.340 And then in the end, they just shit on him. 0.99

01:30:05.020 So I have a feeling that we're going to be nice to Lydia. 0.98

01:30:08.380 We're going to be nice to Tim Pool.

01:30:09.840 And it's for what?

01:30:11.200 Because eventually I just see them as shitting on the libertarian movement in the first – at the end.

01:30:17.840 So I don't know that it's going to be – it's a little different, but – 0.93

01:30:20.120 I'm not even making the case that he should be – no, I don't think anyone's saying that Dave should be shitty to any of them. 0.99

01:30:26.120 But, yeah, I mean if you say some dumb shit, are you really expecting our people not to jump on people saying dumb shit, 0.99

01:30:31.940 especially some like boring, you know, centrist? 1.00

01:30:34.300 Yeah, you're going to get fucked. 0.99

01:30:35.680 Yeah, no, he should totally be nice to him. 1.00

01:30:37.140 I think he's smart, like, you know, going on their show and stuff like that. 0.96

01:30:39.940 I'm not saying he needs to be a dick to him at all. 0.66

01:30:41.620 I do think he should – because we talked on the show, I was like – and I had told him that I had said before, 0.96

01:30:46.080 and I think there's a possibility he could have, like, you know, his own version of, like, a Ron Paul moment. 0.80

01:30:51.560 Because – and he wouldn't even have to be shitty.

01:30:53.600 It was just the – because I assumed they were going to talk about the LPNH stuff. 0.99

01:30:56.800 And I figured there's a way he could frame that in order to be like – really speak truth and be like, fuck these people. 0.96

01:31:02.040 I mean he still can be like, I don't know, that's not my really favorite messaging or whatever. 0.99

01:31:04.660 But you know what?

01:31:05.600 These people are people who deserve this.

01:31:07.620 You know, they're like – they're not anyone to be glorified.

01:31:09.740 He could have totally delivered in a way that they would have been like a mic drop moment.

01:31:12.820 And, you know, like they'd probably been like, how dare you?

01:31:15.260 And him not really been rude at all, so. 0.95

01:31:18.140 Yeah, also Tim Pool makes shitty emo music. 0.95

01:31:20.300 Let's not forget that. 0.90

01:31:21.480 I haven't watched it.

01:31:22.660 That's what I care.

01:31:23.560 So why don't we have our – and I was thinking about this.

01:31:25.920 So we need to get a libertarian podcast or something like that as big as Tim Pool.

01:31:29.820 So we stop worrying about Tim Pool.

01:31:31.820 And is that even possible?

01:31:34.240 I don't know.

01:31:35.120 I mean –

01:31:36.080 I don't care about Tim Pool.

01:31:38.060 I mean it would be part of the problem.

01:31:39.680 It would be the biggest one out there.

01:31:41.920 I don't think that necessarily matters.

01:31:44.040 You could do daily news rundowns like with libertarian guests who are actually libertarians, and that would be cool.

01:31:50.680 And I would rather tune into that to hear Tim Pool, milquetoast, China Hawk takes.

01:31:57.380 Let's do it, Andy.

01:31:59.540 I'm down.

01:32:00.920 It puts in a lot of work.

01:32:02.960 I mean he does.

01:32:03.700 I can't do that.

01:32:04.560 I think there is something to it being live as well.

01:32:06.980 Like not just live as in guests.

01:32:09.000 It's there in the same place all talking.

01:32:10.720 Josh Smith.

01:32:13.400 Josh could be – I mean he would have to fly people out there.

01:32:17.020 I mean I don't know how many –

01:32:18.040 He's doing it now.

01:32:18.720 He's raising money.

01:32:19.580 Come on.

01:32:20.820 I mean –

01:32:21.180 You said James Geneman out there. 0.98

01:32:23.500 Well, James is gay. 1.00

01:32:24.740 He can suck his way out there. 1.00

01:32:26.020 All right. 1.00

01:32:26.360 Wow.

01:32:27.940 I love you, James.

01:32:29.360 You're a great guy.

01:32:30.280 Did Ian really get fired?

01:32:32.660 I don't know.

01:32:33.580 I mean –

01:32:34.280 I heard that, but I didn't.

01:32:35.740 I wouldn't be surprised.

01:32:37.260 Why?

01:32:38.200 Ian's a sweet soul.

01:32:39.540 Let's just put it that way.

01:32:40.860 But – 0.96

01:32:41.360 I think that means retarded. 1.00

01:32:43.340 I feel like I'm retarded. 0.82

01:32:44.420 I'm going to say, bless his heart is what he's trying to say. 0.94

01:32:47.100 That's what they used to say about retards back in the 40s. 0.99

01:32:49.860 Still being being mean to him, but sometimes he just says some shit like, whoa, what's going on in there? 0.99

01:32:57.620 I would take Ian over Tim, honestly. 0.98

01:33:00.780 Yeah, I would too.

01:33:02.140 Ian's more persuadable. 0.79

01:33:04.320 But Ian's also okay with, like, thinking about, like, not being a fucking – he's also very much against, like, more of a pacifist and more against just war in general. 0.98

01:33:14.440 He just thinks it's kind of, like, his fucking weird weed brain just doesn't like it in that way. 0.95

01:33:18.800 I really think he's the kind of guy that can be convinced of just about anything if you talk to him long enough. 1.00

01:33:22.480 Yeah, you can put a gun in his hand and tell him to shoot somebody. 0.99

01:33:26.900 It'll be good, man. 1.00

01:33:27.940 It's all good. 0.99

01:33:28.520 They suck. 1.00

01:33:29.740 Come on. 1.00

01:33:30.200 You know, it'll be fun.

01:33:31.180 It'll be a good experience for you.

01:33:34.140 Adam, are you always going to stay a private account on Twitter now?

01:33:37.700 No, just for, like, a little bit. 0.89

01:33:39.540 Just until Waldenberger fucks off?

01:33:41.380 Well, I mean, I blocked everyone I could imagine.

01:33:44.840 By the way, how's his business going?

01:33:47.720 I don't know.

01:33:48.040 I don't check it. 0.99

01:33:48.540 I'm assuming people shit on him. 1.00

01:33:50.260 And then, oh, he went on a fucking tirade, though, behind the scenes. 1.00

01:33:53.940 First of all, he tried to get me kicked out of the party for the nap, violating the nap. 1.00

01:34:02.640 He went fucking nuts. 0.99

01:34:03.920 He was, like, calling. 1.00

01:34:04.320 What was your nap violation? 0.99

01:34:06.320 I told people to go on Google Reviews and shit on his business. 0.97

01:34:08.320 How is that a nap violation? 0.99

01:34:12.400 He was taking a nap.

01:34:14.380 Yeah, he was taking a nap.

01:34:15.240 I hope his heart stops.

01:34:16.460 I say it all the time, but I hope your heart stops.

01:34:20.220 As your attorney, that's fine.

01:34:22.700 Thank you, Tyler.

01:34:23.340 Tyler is my attorney.

01:34:24.700 You know, he's, I don't know. 0.99

01:34:26.040 I mean, if you guys want to go shit on it, go shit on it. 1.00

01:34:27.960 I don't care. 0.99

01:34:28.880 What Adam means to say is, he's no comment.

01:34:33.780 Yeah. 0.99

01:34:36.700 Yeah, but he went, like, he, like, he, like, called, like, the fucking JC, like, the fucking 0.99

01:34:41.720 council. 0.99

01:34:42.300 Like, you guys are going to, like, we don't care.

01:34:44.520 No one cared. 1.00

01:34:47.700 Tyler's first thing he says to anybody that becomes his client, shut the fuck up. 1.00

01:34:51.520 Shut the fuck up. 1.00

01:34:52.780 Don't talk. 1.00

01:34:54.820 It's crazy how many people get in trouble because they just don't shut the fuck up. 0.98

01:34:58.240 Like, immediately, when they get in trouble, just. 0.98

01:35:00.860 He's also actively a member of the Keystone Party.

01:35:04.240 So.

01:35:05.220 Say, what's the what? 0.99

01:35:06.340 What's the fucking Keystone Party? 1.00

01:35:07.280 Oh, the Keystone Party is all the low birds and faggots who lost. 1.00

01:35:10.840 And they were just, you know, they're really, you know, the progressives in Chief's clothing. 1.00

01:35:13.980 They formed their own party, the Keystone Party.

01:35:16.560 And they're the ones who are trying to, like.

01:35:18.860 Is it named after the Keystone Cops?

01:35:20.720 You know, the little skit where they're all.

01:35:23.200 Unfortunately, it's the end of Pennsylvania.

01:35:24.580 I have a hard enough time taking the LP seriously.

01:35:26.880 I cannot, like, I struggle to take an offshoot of, like. 0.98

01:35:30.840 No, it's a bunch of real losers who think they. 0.96

01:35:34.380 Like, what are you doing? 0.99

01:35:35.060 It's a true social club for them.

01:35:36.660 It's wild.

01:35:36.920 You're a third party of third parties.

01:35:38.980 Yeah.

01:35:39.700 No one takes them seriously.

01:35:40.940 It's really funny.

01:35:41.880 And they just get trolled on Twitter.

01:35:43.240 The Hershey Highway Patrol Caucus.

01:35:45.320 Yeah.

01:35:47.340 Well, all right, guys.

01:35:48.340 We're at over an hour and a half.

01:35:49.800 Yeah.

01:35:49.940 And we'll see if you guys get something else.

01:35:50.960 Okay, get out of here. 0.90

01:35:52.860 That was great.

01:35:53.660 Yeah, that was fun.

01:35:54.100 Thanks for coming on.

01:35:54.580 Thanks for bailing us out tonight.

01:35:56.840 Yeah, thanks for bailing us out, too.

01:35:58.280 But it was going to be, and I sent this in our Tower Gang chat for our show.

01:36:03.800 I said, the thought of just me and one other, either Jose and Clint may have almost came on. 0.98

01:36:11.100 The thought of just two or three guys on the stream, that kind of gets my dick hard. 0.99

01:36:15.300 I don't know. 0.99

01:36:15.840 Wow.

01:36:16.100 It was just me and Jose just talking back and forth.

01:36:18.700 I don't know.

01:36:19.040 I think it could have been good, but then you'll come in.

01:36:21.560 Maybe even better.

01:36:23.180 Well, we're better.

01:36:24.160 Take this a two-man show now.

01:36:26.380 What?

01:36:27.240 We'll make this a two-man show.

01:36:29.200 Yeah, we'll just do it.

01:36:29.980 Let's just say.

01:36:31.020 Yeah, it said Jose can only take LPNH seriously.

01:36:33.340 No, I genuinely, my thing is, like, if every account was, like, LPNH and the National, I'd be like, all right.

01:36:39.840 You know, maybe I'm wrong about my position.

01:36:43.140 But, you know, I don't think that's sustainable.

01:36:46.100 And maybe one party can do it.

01:36:47.680 But, you know, so, yeah. 1.00

01:36:49.500 That's why I think this shit's gay. 1.00

01:36:51.280 But, anyways, you guys want to start dropping plugs? 1.00

01:36:53.860 Yeah, dropping plugs.

01:36:55.140 Yeah, I'll go to the top there.

01:36:57.040 Tyler, follow me on the Libertarian Podcast Review.

01:36:59.480 I've got coming up Nick Gillespie.

01:37:01.340 I hooked that one from Dave's show.

01:37:03.880 So, Nick's going to come on in the next few weeks.

01:37:07.000 So, look for that.

01:37:07.740 And on our kill podcast, we do this.

01:37:09.960 It's even more funny, folks, on ours with my lovely co-host, Garbage Mane.

01:37:17.460 Garbage Mane, you want to drop your plugs? 1.00

01:37:19.960 If you're following me, send me a titty pic. 0.97

01:37:22.220 If you're not following me, then don't follow me.

01:37:24.640 No.

01:37:25.360 I'm out of there.

01:37:26.780 Cult of Us Podcast, Porky Vine.

01:37:28.940 I have Jose and Top on next Monday.

01:37:30.800 Or is it coming Monday?

01:37:31.580 It's going to be fun.

01:37:31.740 I won't talk about that. 0.99

01:37:33.020 Oh, God damn it. 0.99

01:37:33.960 I'm kidding. 0.99

01:37:34.040 Come see me on the road doing comedy.

01:37:40.740 I'll be in Orlando the 21st to 22nd.

01:37:43.240 So, come on.

01:37:43.480 You got coming up on the Cult of Us.

01:37:45.040 Who's coming up on the –

01:37:45.980 Don't know this week.

01:37:46.780 Mike Figgs.

01:37:47.140 Oh, actually, you know what?

01:37:48.560 Actually, Neil's going to be away in Greece.

01:37:50.400 I might use some of you guys as a guest co-host.

01:37:53.040 Let's go.

01:37:53.740 After that big Mike Figgs show, I mean, I might get some good viewers.

01:37:58.360 Dude, I want to start with Mike Figgs.

01:38:00.940 We will work our beefs up until we get to Legion of Kings.

01:38:07.700 Anytime on any sort of comedic platform, I'm going to throw in some sort of Mike Figgs

01:38:11.780 isn't funny until it gets around.

01:38:13.440 Who's this guy going in all these different platforms? 0.98

01:38:14.800 It would be funny if you come on right after Mike Figgs and his shit on him. 0.99

01:38:19.580 Mike Figgs. 0.99

01:38:20.260 We love Shannon.

01:38:21.620 I think if we endear ourselves to Shannon, that would also be really great because she

01:38:25.120 produces – well, she produces Yo and Mei raps, doesn't she? 0.71

01:38:28.000 And she produces –

01:38:29.320 I don't know if she does Yo and Mei raps. 0.93

01:38:31.160 I actually don't really – I don't watch that.

01:38:32.640 I think she does produce Yo and Mei raps. 0.96

01:38:34.600 But she does rap and she has her own podcast on there.

01:38:38.780 I was on that too.

01:38:39.360 It was actually fun. 0.99

01:38:40.180 We used to have like ghost stories and shit. 0.93

01:38:41.540 When is Mike Figgs going to be on this show? 0.95

01:38:45.960 I genuinely don't want him on this show.

01:38:49.100 I would just be annoyed by his presence.

01:38:51.280 What if he is worse than Perez? 0.51

01:38:54.120 Dude, he's so – he's so bad.

01:38:56.480 Honestly, Jose, he couldn't be worse than Lou Perez.

01:38:59.620 Dude, Lou's actually funny too, like stand-up wise.

01:39:02.360 Yes.

01:39:02.620 He's another example of someone that's like – he's good in like skits and like prepared

01:39:06.500 things, but when you're like –

01:39:07.640 He also was – I feel like he was not prepared for what we were going to talk. 0.99

01:39:10.880 Yeah, he was like, holy shit, this guy just said nigger. 0.99

01:39:12.700 Like that's where he was at. 1.00

01:39:18.220 And I'm like, okay, I get it.

01:39:19.520 You're going this route.

01:39:21.260 Figgs can bail Toad out though.

01:39:23.280 That's true.

01:39:24.120 They can do their comedy battle.

01:39:26.800 I would love that one just so they could battle.

01:39:28.420 Just see them watching going back and forth.

01:39:29.900 Do you remember the – Cole, do you remember the last episode Figgs was on Legion of Skanks?

01:39:33.960 Where like he was – like dude, I swear I ended up watching the video version later

01:39:38.680 just because I was like I want to see how these guys are reacting because it was so bad.

01:39:42.380 And you could – just listening to the audio, I could tell the tension.

01:39:45.420 And then I went and watched the video and like you could see all their body language.

01:39:48.940 Like especially Dave and Jay. 0.98

01:39:50.540 I feel like Louis likes him and Dave and Jay are just like, why the fuck do you keep bringing this guy? 0.94

01:39:55.420 The only thing I do is –

01:39:56.600 I think I'm going on his podcast soon too. 0.99

01:40:00.060 Shut up. 0.99

01:40:01.040 Good. 1.00

01:40:02.720 He's not watching your audio.

01:40:03.860 That was what I said.

01:40:05.060 This goes for any like bad – like anybody that has a bad week on skanks. 0.96

01:40:12.620 The comments will absolutely destroy them.

01:40:15.740 Absolutely annihilate.

01:40:17.140 It is so funny, dude.

01:40:18.380 Like they do not –

01:40:19.200 They hate you.

01:40:20.620 Skanks fans and like Raph – like that whole fan base is rabid.

01:40:23.840 And you got a good – and you got a good – on Raph, you got a –

01:40:26.980 What if you had a chance to go on Legion – if any of you had a chance to go on Legion of Skanks,

01:40:31.900 would you do it?

01:40:33.480 Duh.

01:40:34.380 Are you asking me?

01:40:35.120 Yeah, of course.

01:40:35.580 Okay.

01:40:36.560 I mean, I'd be nervous.

01:40:37.420 It would be –

01:40:37.880 These guys are actually funny and I'm just funny in my face.

01:40:39.320 It would be memorable.

01:40:40.840 Oh, yeah.

01:40:41.560 I guess I got him on, so I should be all right.

01:40:43.600 The only person I actually don't know is Jay.

01:40:45.960 I met Jay once, but I don't know him like at all.

01:40:48.480 I bet you'll get him on your podcast though.

01:40:50.040 But like – before I get Dave probably.

01:40:51.820 Yeah.

01:40:53.440 That would be really funny.

01:40:55.080 You should definitely get Louis on your podcast and then just never invite Dave on again and just be like –

01:40:59.760 It doesn't matter.

01:41:00.240 I don't have to. 0.99

01:41:00.680 And then just shit on Dave the entire – and just be like, Louis, I'm so glad you came. 0.96

01:41:04.880 You're the best – you're the best podcast guest I could ever ask for. 0.97

01:41:08.860 Joke's on Dave.

01:41:10.000 I feel bad somewhat being so mean to figs, but at the same time, it also deeply irritates me.

01:41:15.960 I guess maybe it's a jealousy thing. 0.92

01:41:17.320 You're like, how can you be so bad at this but get so many opportunities and still fuck up every golden opportunity?

01:41:23.680 Now, the other one they did also hate – 0.65

01:41:26.100 Now you understand why we bring P-Nord back all the time. 0.99

01:41:28.340 Yeah. 0.99

01:41:28.580 Jamie Kilstein got a ton of fucking hate too. 0.99

01:41:32.920 I mean, but his was, I mean, warranted as well. 0.99

01:41:36.520 I don't remember.

01:41:37.120 What was it?

01:41:37.920 Was he not funny?

01:41:38.700 The whole – the whole – like you just got to know when to talk.

01:41:42.500 It's like don't just try to make a joke to make a joke.

01:41:45.980 It's not worth it. 0.98

01:41:46.840 Like you have Jay who's one of the funniest motherfuckers on the planet who's so quick. 0.96

01:41:50.720 Dave's funny. 0.98

01:41:51.500 Louis is funny too.

01:41:52.200 Like they're all funny.

01:41:53.080 And they all know what they're doing. 0.99

01:41:54.020 So it's like you can't just be there and just be like, oh, word salad, bullshit. 1.00

01:41:57.260 Like just fucking wait. 1.00

01:41:58.260 Pick your fucking shots. 1.00

01:41:59.000 He would do impressions like the over-the-top cartoonish ones that went on for way too long. 1.00

01:42:03.140 Oh, I remember that. 0.99

01:42:06.240 What the fuck? 0.99

01:42:07.640 Like is this wrapping up soon? 0.99

01:42:09.940 No, like all the fans really hated Jamie Kilstein whenever he was –

01:42:13.140 he was the one that – he was a comic that then went like super lefty

01:42:17.200 and literally called – he just hates Nazis.

01:42:19.300 Yeah.

01:42:19.460 He did all right.

01:42:20.460 No, but like –

01:42:21.080 But then he came back.

01:42:22.020 Yeah.

01:42:22.620 But his fans – all the fans hate him.

01:42:24.740 Because of what he did for years.

01:42:25.720 Because they called him Nazis. 1.00

01:42:28.720 He's atoning for his sins now, motherfucker. 1.00

01:42:30.880 Like don't be a – 1.00

01:42:31.520 See the one that was –

01:42:32.480 I got to go.

01:42:33.400 Yeah, we got to go. 0.99

01:42:34.280 Yeah, let's get the fuck out of here. 0.97

01:42:35.420 All right. 0.93

01:42:35.940 Later.

01:42:37.020 See you guys.

01:42:38.580 See you boys.

01:42:39.260 I want to address this real quick because –

01:42:46.840 Are we still alive?

01:42:47.980 Oh, I thought we were ending.

01:42:49.180 Or we're continuing.

01:42:50.520 I want to point out your –

01:42:51.800 No, we're ending.

01:42:52.340 This doesn't count.

01:42:53.400 All right?

01:42:53.720 I just wanted to say that.

01:42:55.520 All right.

01:42:55.800 Anyways, No Way Jose.

01:42:57.400 You can follow me on Twitter. 0.99

01:42:59.120 Fucking SenorJose2020. 0.96

01:43:00.800 Just have a Dave episode with Clint and Reed. 0.98

01:43:03.180 Go check that out.

01:43:03.860 We are out.

Tower Gang - September 16, 2022

Ep 88 - Funnier Than Figs w⧸ Tyler Janke, Garbage Mane & Adam Nutter

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