Tower Gang - Ep 92 - The Mythical

00:00:00.340 What's up, retards? 1.00

00:00:01.940 The funniest 9-11 jokes were written on 9-12. 1.00

00:00:04.520 Women jerk off dicks like fucking they're an unruly ferret. 1.00

00:00:07.580 Yeah. 1.00

00:00:08.680 You ever had a 9-11 cocktail?

00:00:11.560 It's in Manhattan with two kamikazes. 0.97

00:00:13.700 And now, now.

00:00:16.000 You see, the socialists don't have an accurate answer for this, and she needs to account for it. 0.96

00:00:20.600 White women must be stopped. 1.00

00:00:22.600 That's right. 0.99

00:00:23.640 Yeah. 0.99

00:00:25.780 We can stay horny and retarded longer than she can stay sane. 1.00

00:00:30.000 Your ass-to-penis ratio. 1.00

00:00:32.880 Ben, maybe you could say we had sex, but we didn't fuck. 1.00

00:00:35.340 You said nigger. 1.00

00:00:36.280 Oh, Jesus. 0.99

00:00:37.560 Free! 1.00

00:00:39.200 Fat Dave, fuck you, man. 1.00

00:00:40.960 Free! 1.00

00:00:41.880 Free!

00:00:44.960 Welcome, everybody, to another livestream edition of Tower Gang Power Hour.

00:00:49.500 I'm Clint.

00:00:50.400 Hi.

00:00:51.360 I'm so glad you guys could join us.

00:00:53.140 I'm Fat Dave.

00:00:54.220 Shout out on Legion of Skanks. 1.00

00:00:56.920 Loved by Dave Smith.

00:00:58.120 You're his worst enemy, actually.

00:01:02.020 No, but...

00:01:02.780 Go ahead.

00:01:03.700 Sorry.

00:01:04.140 We got Toad, aka TPH underscore Toad.

00:01:06.860 Make sure you follow him, because he gets banned all the time.

00:01:08.740 And then we got No Way Jose's host, Mr. Jose Galizan.

00:01:11.760 Welcome in.

00:01:12.260 What's up?

00:01:13.600 This is the number one pro-Russia podcast in America.

00:01:17.280 Hell yeah. 0.98

00:01:18.120 Putin, shout out those bucks, dog. 0.97

00:01:19.840 That's right.

00:01:20.620 Do you want to point out the best compliment I think we've ever gotten?

00:01:24.060 Although it came from a child, so I don't know how much of it is.

00:01:27.020 Yeah.

00:01:27.860 Killtony is lesser than Legion of Skanks, or lesser than us. 0.96

00:01:31.800 Yeah, I feel like that really bugs me.

00:01:33.520 I feel like it should be the other way around.

00:01:35.000 I don't know if that's an aesthetic thing for me.

00:01:36.860 It should be the greater...

00:01:38.420 It should be...

00:01:39.060 You know what I'm talking about.

00:01:40.120 Like, it should be our power greater than...

00:01:42.060 I think we're in between, honestly.

00:01:44.080 I think we are better than Killtony, but we're not better than Legion.

00:01:46.840 It depends on what you're going for.

00:01:47.940 I like Killtony for...

00:01:49.000 They're, like, different things.

00:01:50.860 Killtony is, like, a mixed bag.

00:01:52.200 It's, like, you never know what you're going to get.

00:01:53.280 Well, Killtony is just, like, do I want to watch some cringe today?

00:01:55.640 And then also just see comedians just absolutely destroy some people?

00:01:58.620 Like, yeah, I want to watch people get made fun of.

00:02:00.440 That's great.

00:02:01.040 And then Legion of Skanks, like, do I want to feel, like, better than 90% of the people

00:02:04.600 that watch this show?

00:02:05.420 Yeah, okay.

00:02:06.000 So I feel...

00:02:06.460 And then our show, of course, is, like, you know, just Legion of Skanks light.

00:02:10.700 We have even the worst people watching.

00:02:14.280 They're Tower of Power Hour late, man.

00:02:17.340 They do not go for it anymore.

00:02:18.620 And when Dave mentioned you, he obviously knows who you are.

00:02:22.320 I think Louis mentioned you first, right?

00:02:23.840 And then Dave brought you up.

00:02:25.780 Dave knows exactly who you are.

00:02:27.560 And he was like, yeah, I love that guy.

00:02:28.800 That guy's awesome.

00:02:29.440 And he never mentioned where he knows you from.

00:02:31.560 Which is this show. 0.99

00:02:32.760 God damn it. 0.98

00:02:33.920 We have somehow gone into the, like, Legion of Skanks sphere, like, multiple times, 0.99

00:02:39.140 but without being mentioned.

00:02:40.620 I don't know which is harder, to get Louis on this show, 0.88

00:02:44.120 or to get Dave to fucking be like, oh, yeah, I know those guys. 0.95

00:02:46.460 They showed our genocide bracket. 0.99

00:02:49.880 They're like, oh, April 6th.

00:02:50.840 Oh, I forgot about that.

00:02:51.840 I forgot that they did that.

00:02:52.720 This is awesome.

00:02:53.100 And they never mentioned which show it was or where they got it.

00:02:55.660 And you know Dave?

00:02:56.880 And they're like, oh, yeah, I know who those are.

00:02:59.660 I also got referenced on Shane's show, like, Secret Time Podcast.

00:03:05.960 Remember that?

00:03:06.040 Oh, that's right.

00:03:06.460 Well, you also got mentioned on Legion of Skanks.

00:03:07.940 But they didn't say my show name, though.

00:03:09.480 I was like the Hopitarians. 0.99

00:03:11.380 That's a huge shout out. 0.99

00:03:12.240 Well, you had a whole fucking thing on Legion of Skanks. 1.00

00:03:15.220 What, you were the fucking, like, richest? 1.00

00:03:17.140 Yeah, you were the richest. 0.99

00:03:18.020 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:03:18.400 The baller skank competition.

00:03:19.880 Yeah, like, it was you, man.

00:03:21.820 That was so wild because Dave was, but in that moment, Dave did go,

00:03:27.440 that's Clint.

00:03:28.020 That's my guy.

00:03:28.960 So he didn't do it.

00:03:29.600 Yeah, but he said Clint, but he didn't say nothing about it.

00:03:31.600 He just goes, that's my guy.

00:03:32.540 That's it.

00:03:33.980 Like, yeah, I met him at a show one time.

00:03:36.500 Right.

00:03:37.560 Y'all going to change that. 0.99

00:03:38.660 You and Top this week at fucking Skank Fest. 1.00

00:03:42.140 Fucking just be out there with a flack. 1.00

00:03:44.040 He's got fucking Tim Dillon on part of the problem, 1.00

00:03:48.880 and I'm like, if he pulls me up, I'm going to have a heart attack. 0.98

00:03:52.440 Like, I am such a huge Tim Dillon fan.

00:03:54.540 That'd be so sick.

00:03:56.080 And then Sam Tripoli, too, by the way.

00:03:57.760 Yeah.

00:03:58.000 Yeah, Sam.

00:03:59.560 That's dope. 0.93

00:03:59.960 No, it's going to be Tim Dillon and Tripoli.

00:04:02.020 Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

00:04:02.740 Yeah, it's all, it's like your big four.

00:04:05.620 But, like, I feel like I'm, like, homies with Tripoli now, so, like, that wouldn't be so crazy to me,

00:04:11.180 because, like, I've been on his show a couple times, and, you know, I feel comfortable with him.

00:04:17.700 Tim Dillon, though, is, like, I listen to his show every week, so that would be really cool.

00:04:22.600 I don't think I've ever listened to his show.

00:04:23.820 I listen to the new Silver October, and they were talking about just how funny Tim Dillon is,

00:04:28.860 just behind the scenes, too.

00:04:30.060 Like, he's always Tim Dillon.

00:04:32.620 Just, he was all, like, his rants.

00:04:34.040 Like, that's 100% just him.

00:04:35.620 Like, he'll just start going off on just anything.

00:04:38.380 Like, I think Bert Kreiser's saying.

00:04:40.200 He's the Alex Jones of comedy.

00:04:41.480 I really believe that.

00:04:42.360 Dude, he's a, which, you know, poor Alex Jones.

00:04:45.020 I mean, he just.

00:04:46.000 Now, I did say this to Robert Murphy.

00:04:47.460 I mean, he got, what, basically a billion dollars.

00:04:49.900 I mean, just near as makes no difference.

00:04:51.700 A billion dollars.

00:04:52.740 It's more than a billion if you include the judgment from the first trial.

00:04:57.200 So, it's over a billion.

00:04:58.560 Doesn't even make the least bit of sense.

00:05:00.500 Well, to me, to me, I just go, I tweeted, because Bob Murphy basically said something about it.

00:05:05.580 Like, he tweeted, I just said, he just needs to wait a couple years,

00:05:07.840 so the Fed just makes it worth a quarter of that.

00:05:10.260 And then he's good.

00:05:11.060 Like, just, just, just wait till the.

00:05:13.400 A quarter of that is still $250 million. 0.99

00:05:17.160 What the fuck are you guys talking about? 0.99

00:05:19.220 Or just wait, or just another few years after that. 0.99

00:05:21.540 And then the dollar just completely collapses, and then it's just worth absolutely nothing.

00:05:25.460 Which is, that's the funny part.

00:05:26.680 Honestly, that judgment could be one Bitcoin in, like, a decade.

00:05:29.520 Yeah, dude, those, those Sandy Hook victims' families or whatever got that huge payout.

00:05:35.380 They better, they better start moving all that into crypto.

00:05:38.540 Oh, they're not going to get it, dude.

00:05:39.540 He's not going to pay.

00:05:40.920 No.

00:05:41.220 Yeah, I don't.

00:05:41.720 He can't.

00:05:42.220 He doesn't even have that much money. 0.99

00:05:44.760 Well, this is what's stupid about it, because it's also, like, a fucking wealth tax or something. 0.99

00:05:48.900 We're like, this guy has this, you know, he's worth this amount in assets. 0.99

00:05:52.100 You're like, yeah, all those assets aren't liquid.

00:05:54.460 Well, what's funny, someone said something like.

00:05:56.180 He doesn't have a billion dollars in frozen assets.

00:05:58.700 He doesn't have anywhere near that.

00:05:59.860 Well, what was funny was somebody put on there, I saw a tweet, and it was like, they found out in, like, the court statements that in one day from CPAC, whenever his, like, thing, he made $500,000 in one day.

00:06:12.560 I'm like, you realize how long that takes to get to a billion dollars?

00:06:16.140 You would have to be making, like, 500 grand a day.

00:06:19.240 200 days.

00:06:20.260 Yeah.

00:06:21.220 That's still, like.

00:06:23.660 But that's still a crazy amount, like, 200 days in a row of just 500,000, but that's complete profit.

00:06:29.120 That was just, they just brought that in.

00:06:30.420 No, I know.

00:06:31.260 Yeah, it's just, it's insane to think, like, they can't, you can't wrap your minds around a billion dollars. 0.92

00:06:36.880 I think, I think, I think Alex Jones or Infowars more broadly has probably made a couple hundred million throughout his career, but, like, that doesn't mean shit.

00:06:45.200 But that's over, he's been doing it for, what, since the 90s? 0.67

00:06:48.300 Yeah.

00:06:48.520 Yeah, so it's, like, 30 years, like, it probably made a couple.

00:06:51.900 Well, it's not, it's not just that, but it's also, he's got, you know, probably a dozen employees.

00:06:55.860 He's had, I'm sure he has attorneys on retainer that he's been getting fucking milk dry over the past 20 years, too.

00:07:02.780 It's, like. 1.00

00:07:03.000 Which, those attorneys suck ass, too. 1.00

00:07:05.240 They completely fucked him, is basically what, like. 1.00

00:07:08.920 He should have spent, he should have spent a lot more money on the attorneys than he did, because he got some bad advice. 0.98

00:07:13.340 It's just, like, basically, like, he almost deserves it without, with just him.

00:07:17.880 The attorneys he chose, it's almost on him, because those attorneys did such a bad job.

00:07:22.760 Literally, the guy leaked all the messages.

00:07:26.200 Like, he just leaked, which, to me, it's just like, okay, if, if there's a billion dollars that's gonna, a billion dollars that's gonna get paid out, then that guy, I mean, it's very easy to see that this guy's like, okay, we'll give you a million dollars.

00:07:37.560 Just release this out, and then, I mean, that's the conspiracy theory of me, but.

00:07:41.840 What if his attorneys, like, pretended they were on his side, like, up until.

00:07:46.040 No, that's what I'm saying.

00:07:47.000 I think, like, it could be so easy just to be, like, I mean, someone comes up and says, well, if we.

00:07:51.920 Nah.

00:07:52.420 He would have a malpractice lawsuit if that were the case.

00:07:54.880 Isn't the whole theory behind defamation, though, is that it's, like, it's supposed to be that you've caused some sort of damages monetarily to them, and so you owe them recompense.

00:08:04.020 Like, this makes no sense that it'd be a billion dollars.

00:08:06.240 Like, there's no way, had he never done this, that all of the families would have accumulated a billion dollars amongst themselves. 0.97

00:08:13.640 I mean, and then, like, I get it, you'd add in hardship or whatever the fuck, but it's still, like, this makes zero fucking sense. 0.89

00:08:18.980 It's not the hardship, it's the pain and suffering is the black box when it comes to litigation. 1.00

00:08:23.340 Like, if you can get a jury to weigh in on pain and suffering, they will usually come back with an astronomical figure, because they're just fucking pieces of shit. 1.00

00:08:32.480 It just makes no sense to me. 1.00

00:08:33.820 And, like, well, because the whole thing was the jury decided on that number. 0.99

00:08:38.120 To me, if a judge is not an absolute piece of shit, they go, okay, I see your number, but I can't, like, I can't, that's just, it doesn't make any sense. 0.98

00:08:46.820 Like, that's not, like, it can't be that. 0.99

00:08:49.800 We'll set it at, you know, whatever, $10 million.

00:08:52.220 Like, that's, because, I mean, it's just, it's just a, you think, okay, you think it's this much, well, then we'll, like, here's the statute, here's what's upon, you know, previous court cases. 0.98

00:09:03.740 Yeah, well, what's precedent for this type of shit? 0.66

00:09:05.560 Yeah, I mean, yeah, there's no way that there's precedent for this, to come down with a billion dollar judgment for a guy who, I mean, many of those people that were named, based off of my research, as well as Alex's defense, he didn't name them. 0.99

00:09:19.140 Like, they were just the parents of the kids, and that was enough, like, that was enough for them to say that, like, their entire lives were ruined. 0.91

00:09:27.320 To me, it seems as if, one, obviously, they're sending a message to all political dissidents, but two, they were basically trying to make up for the evil that was done to these kids, but, like, Alex didn't fucking do it. 0.96

00:09:40.260 Well, here's, that's the thing, it's like, this goes back to my, this goes back to my, this goes back to my, my, quote, that saying nigger is worse than killing niggers, like, this is actually that, like, this is, the guy that actually killed them is, well, he's dead, but, I mean, he would not, like, a billion, 0.97

00:09:58.000 Your speech is more dangerous than the actual act of killing kids, is, I mean, like, would you, I mean, here's the thing, here's, I guess that's the question, would you rather, uh, be, owe a billion dollars, like, that you actually do, or, or be killed as a child?

00:10:13.660 Or, or, no, no, no, no, or go to jail, or go to jail for life, like, I would much rather owe a billion dollars.

00:10:20.560 Yeah, yeah.

00:10:21.400 Because I ain't paying that.

00:10:22.660 Yeah, I'm not paying that. 0.98

00:10:23.420 No, I don't have that much, so what the fuck, what are you gonna do? 0.97

00:10:26.920 By the way, though, if this, uh, if something like this can hold up, then I think everybody on our show is gonna wind up having to pay millions of family members of Holocaust victims, so that kind of sucks. 0.98

00:10:39.360 Well, good thing they don't exist, so.

00:10:44.640 Be like, oh, do you want to have discovery as to whether or not this actually happened?

00:10:49.000 Oh, we're going here, your honor?

00:10:53.760 I think you're gonna want to settle.

00:10:55.960 Go ahead and bring up the PowerPoint I brought up.

00:11:01.120 Can you imagine Tower Gang on the stand?

00:11:04.480 Your honor, we would like to call Ryan Dawson to the stand.

00:11:11.260 Oh, my God.

00:11:12.580 I think if we got up on the stand, I think it would convince at least one jury member that the Holocaust cause didn't happen. 0.89

00:11:17.440 I think it's just one of them.

00:11:18.860 It would be a hung jury for sure.

00:11:20.780 You give me weeks?

00:11:23.120 You give me weeks?

00:11:24.260 You know what you need to do is get one of them big city Jew lawyers on your side so that nobody can accuse you of being anti-Semitic. 0.85

00:11:34.820 You know, the way you hammer the Jew word really strikes me as anti-Semitic, though.

00:11:38.660 You gotta be careful.

00:11:39.240 Sure, we can talk about Holocaust denial, but please, if you could just not be so harsh.

00:11:43.820 I want Dave Smith and Ari Shafir as our attorneys.

00:11:48.200 Like, just have them on there and just be like...

00:11:50.080 Dave or Ari would crush it.

00:11:51.540 I think Dave would...

00:11:52.420 Dave should have been an attorney.

00:11:54.120 He just doesn't have the work ethic for it.

00:11:56.620 So funny.

00:11:57.600 Ari would show the entire jury's dong, so that's probably a positive. 0.58

00:12:02.920 I mean, he's Jewish.

00:12:04.080 They can't say anything.

00:12:05.160 Exactly.

00:12:05.900 They'd be like, it's not circumcised. 0.81

00:12:07.060 Dude, did you guys ever watch that Legion Skanks episode where he pissed in the cup?

00:12:10.580 Dude, I was, like, dying laughing at work.

00:12:12.600 It's kind of a thing, though.

00:12:13.740 He also did it on Rogan, where he pissed in a whiskey bottle, and they kept it for a couple weeks.

00:12:19.420 Like, they just had his piss in a whiskey bottle.

00:12:21.320 It's so weird, because he's like...

00:12:23.160 I have kind of friends kind of like that, but not to quite that extent.

00:12:27.940 Oh, I do it on every other episode.

00:12:29.860 I legit might piss in...

00:12:31.340 I really gotta piss right now, I might piss in this bottle.

00:12:33.780 Yeah, but you're hundreds of miles away.

00:12:35.800 You can't force me to drink it.

00:12:36.680 And then he...

00:12:37.840 And then Cole just starts drinking it.

00:12:39.540 Give me the piss cup around. 1.00

00:12:41.240 No, this is still Corona.

00:12:42.680 And that's the same one you do use every time.

00:12:44.760 Yeah, I clean it out, dude.

00:12:46.740 By the way, so I was gonna ask...

00:12:49.580 That's disgusting.

00:12:51.020 I was gonna ask this last episode, but it might be funnier if Cole is here for it.

00:12:55.400 So, last week, like, towards the beginning of the week, it must have been, like, Monday or something. 0.98

00:12:58.780 So, you know when you take a shit, like, I don't know, something happens... 0.99

00:13:04.020 And you get a boner? 1.00

00:13:05.200 Bodily, I guess. 0.68

00:13:05.960 No. 1.00

00:13:07.000 You don't get a boner, but you know how when you shit, you involuntarily piss at the same time? 0.99

00:13:11.520 Yeah. 0.99

00:13:11.800 You know what I'm talking about?

00:13:12.980 I've...

00:13:13.700 I...

00:13:14.140 I submit to it.

00:13:16.820 I don't mind.

00:13:17.640 Yeah.

00:13:17.780 Well, have you ever had the other way around?

00:13:19.960 I feel like it's voluntary.

00:13:21.680 Where you pee and then you just...

00:13:23.060 You just started voluntarily pooping.

00:13:25.540 No. 0.80

00:13:26.380 Wait, are you standing up or do you always sit down and you piss? 1.00

00:13:28.940 Like a fucking... 1.00

00:13:29.420 No, that was the problem. 1.00

00:13:30.460 I was standing in a urinal and I just had, like, a lot of fucking hot sauce or something. 0.98

00:13:34.560 It was really running through me. 0.98

00:13:36.440 And I'm taking a piss and I had to, like, stop midstream because I, like, felt like something

00:13:40.560 coming out the other way. 0.99

00:13:41.720 I'm like, oh, shit. 0.99

00:13:42.820 Like, this is not good. 1.00

00:13:44.100 Yeah, it is hard when you're really going to shit and you're also really going to pee. 0.98

00:13:49.340 But, like, if for some whatever reason you're like, I'm not going to poop, I'm just going 0.99

00:13:52.500 to try to pee, like, it is really hard to, like, control your asshole muscles while releasing 1.00

00:13:57.200 your dick, like, muscles to pee. 1.00

00:13:58.920 Like, it is a weird... 1.00

00:14:00.700 Well, why are you guys opting not to poop?

00:14:02.880 I don't know. 0.95

00:14:03.260 I barely shit anywhere outside of my house. 0.79

00:14:06.880 Like, it's not something I like to do at all. 1.00

00:14:09.260 I shit everywhere. 1.00

00:14:09.920 I don't give a fuck. 1.00

00:14:10.400 Well, just, like, was the case in Reno, I was able to control my hole, let's say, quite 1.00

00:14:19.120 well in this scenario.

00:14:20.200 But, yeah, I'm standing there in the urinal.

00:14:22.040 I just, like, feel something, like, about to come out. 0.99

00:14:24.020 I'm like, oh, shit. 1.00

00:14:25.920 Also, by the way, you should have shit at the urinal, though. 1.00

00:14:28.880 You should have just, like, pissed and turned around and just took a shit. 1.00

00:14:32.040 In the urinal. 1.00

00:14:33.080 No, no, no.

00:14:33.520 In the urinal.

00:14:34.000 In the urinal. 1.00

00:14:34.420 Because, you know, who's going to fuck with you after that? 1.00

00:14:37.500 No one will fuck with you, like, especially if you just pull your pants down. 1.00

00:14:40.400 When you're standing in the stall and you feel it about to fall, diarrhea. 1.00

00:14:44.720 Diarrhea.

00:14:46.720 You know, well, I also, I piss in the kids' urinal. 0.60

00:14:51.240 Because I'm really short.

00:14:52.860 I was like, that's probably the one you always use, no?

00:14:54.960 Yeah, that's the one you always use.

00:14:55.960 I always use the, I mean, usually just use the lower one.

00:14:59.540 I mean.

00:14:59.860 Yeah, well, yeah. 0.99

00:15:00.800 But then if I were to try to shit in it, like, I wouldn't be able to, like, sit in it, 0.99

00:15:05.220 right? 0.99

00:15:05.360 Because the reason I don't use the regular height people's urinal is because it's, like. 0.99

00:15:11.060 Because you're fucking short. 0.98

00:15:11.840 I understand this. 1.00

00:15:12.680 We get it. 0.98

00:15:13.020 Yeah, it's because I go to take a piss and I'm, like, resting, I'm, like, dunking my balls 0.99

00:15:16.660 in the urinal. 1.00

00:15:17.560 Like, what the fuck? 1.00

00:15:18.920 My buddy Ace told me this story a couple years ago. 1.00

00:15:21.900 He said that he was, like, out hiking and there was a, you know, one of those shitty 0.75

00:15:26.900 bathrooms that exist on hiking trails periodically. 0.91

00:15:30.940 The woods?

00:15:32.540 Yeah, he's, like, in the woods.

00:15:33.500 But, like, it's mountains.

00:15:34.260 I don't know. 1.00

00:15:34.540 What the fuck? 1.00

00:15:34.940 Who cares? 1.00

00:15:35.400 It's not the point.

00:15:36.120 And he goes into the bathroom.

00:15:37.900 And the bathroom, the actual toilet is out of service.

00:15:41.400 But he has diarrhea.

00:15:42.980 And he's, like, I'm in the woods.

00:15:44.260 There's no chance of anybody coming in.

00:15:45.820 There's a urinal here.

00:15:47.100 So, it's, like, sink, urinal, broken toilet. 0.99

00:15:49.480 So, he goes to the urinal, he turns around to projectile shits. 0.87

00:15:54.820 And a dude walks in as he's just, like, splattering the wall. 1.00

00:15:59.660 And he's just, like, his fucking pants are down around his ankles. 0.99

00:16:02.840 And he just stands. 0.99

00:16:04.180 And I just, I can't even imagine.

00:16:05.880 Like, I try to put myself not in Ace's shoes, but rather the guy that walks in on that.

00:16:10.060 And just thinking, like, what would you do in that situation?

00:16:13.980 Like, you have to assume that you've ran into a crazy person, no?

00:16:17.440 I don't know.

00:16:18.900 You just carry on with your day, act like nothing's happening.

00:16:21.180 Do you remember? 0.90

00:16:22.320 Dude, did I ever tell you guys about the time where I fucking, this was at work. 0.56

00:16:27.700 This was back when I was active duty. 0.99

00:16:29.260 And fucking, I was taking a dump. 0.99

00:16:31.740 And some dude came in in the bathroom. 1.00

00:16:33.980 I couldn't see him through the stall. 1.00

00:16:35.860 And, like, I swore to God that he was, like, sucking dick with all the noises he was making. 1.00

00:16:41.200 Come to find out. 1.00

00:16:42.040 I guess this is a thing this gay dude had done to, like, multiple people.

00:16:44.720 Where he, like, apparently there wasn't another guy. 1.00

00:16:46.960 I'm still, like, on the fence where there was another dude that he was, like, actually sucking his dick. 1.00

00:16:50.740 But he would go in there and he would, like, make dick-sucking noises. 1.00

00:16:53.860 And it was, like, extremely convincing. 0.99

00:16:55.380 I don't know if this was, like, his weird hitting on thing.

00:16:57.740 I don't know what was going on.

00:16:59.000 Were you at a truck stop in Kentucky by chance?

00:17:01.060 No, this was, like, in an aircraft hangar when I was in the military.

00:17:05.340 Like, and I guess it was one of the contractors.

00:17:07.240 Yeah, right?

00:17:07.580 And, like, I just remember, like, I think it actually, I want to say it happened twice.

00:17:11.920 And the first time I just sat there quietly, like, uh...

00:17:15.980 You know the toe under the stall thing?

00:17:22.000 Like, that's, like, how they signal. 0.98

00:17:23.540 Like, that's how gay dudes signal. 1.00

00:17:24.500 I bet you that's another signal. 0.99

00:17:26.140 Oh, I bet.

00:17:26.800 Yeah, I mean, I really think that was, like...

00:17:28.680 Like, if you hear that and you just go, like, hey, man, what's going on?

00:17:32.440 It's like, oh, it's on now. 1.00

00:17:34.200 He just sprints in there and fucking eats you. 1.00

00:17:35.520 Just brushing my teeth, homie. 1.00

00:17:37.120 Wait, wait, wait, wait.

00:17:38.420 Wait, a toe under the stall is the signal?

00:17:41.120 Like, a single toe?

00:17:42.360 You never heard of the...

00:17:43.020 Not a toe.

00:17:43.760 Like, they tap it.

00:17:44.760 Yeah.

00:17:45.180 Oh, I have never heard of that.

00:17:47.740 Yeah, they slide, like, either at the urinal or underneath the divider in the shitter. 0.99

00:17:53.640 Shit was, like, one of the wildest experiences. 1.00

00:17:55.100 But that could be totally different because if I saw someone, I would just kick it away. 1.00

00:17:58.140 I'd be like, no, get the fuck out of here. 0.99

00:18:01.400 Well, then they would know you're not into it. 0.99

00:18:03.100 Then they would be, like, knocking on the door, like, hey, are you going to let me in?

00:18:06.320 Maybe that's where the term toe-tap and fun comes from.

00:18:09.460 I don't know.

00:18:10.420 The first time it happened, for a little bit, I thought he was, like, brushing his teeth 0.76

00:18:14.880 or something, like, or some shit because, you know, like, the gagging noise. 0.99

00:18:18.260 And then I started hearing shit, like... 1.00

00:18:19.880 You know how hard you got to brush your teeth to fucking gag? 1.00

00:18:22.000 Oh, like, in, like, noises. 0.99

00:18:23.300 Like, it was... 0.99

00:18:24.180 I gag every time I fucking brush my teeth. 0.99

00:18:26.640 Every time? 0.99

00:18:27.400 Yes, every time.

00:18:28.560 I get back down there deep. 0.99

00:18:29.640 I want to have a fucking clean mouth, though. 0.99

00:18:31.340 Oh, my God. 1.00

00:18:31.820 You be a terrible man. 1.00

00:18:32.620 That's kind of gay, dude. 1.00

00:18:33.720 I don't know. 0.96

00:18:34.420 Whatever. 0.83

00:18:35.020 No, it's the opposite of gay. 0.98

00:18:36.560 It's way too straight. 0.99

00:18:40.140 Your gag reflex is...

00:18:42.020 Oh, I have an amazing gag reflex, dude.

00:18:45.580 What does that mean?

00:18:47.240 How does you keep it out?

00:18:49.020 In which direction?

00:18:50.380 It's very active.

00:18:51.780 Dude, I can't put anything down at all.

00:18:55.280 Nothing.

00:18:55.580 It doesn't even get close.

00:18:56.620 And actually, I would say I do gag, like, 30% of the time when I'm brushing my teeth.

00:19:01.060 And it's not even...

00:19:01.680 I don't even go deep.

00:19:02.700 Like, I go, like, mid-tongue.

00:19:04.440 And I'm like... 1.00

00:19:05.180 You've, like, evolved to not be a suck dick. 1.00

00:19:08.080 That's how straight you are. 1.00

00:19:08.820 No, I could never suck a dick, dude. 1.00

00:19:10.580 I could kiss it. 1.00

00:19:11.920 That's the only reason you're not gay, huh? 1.00

00:19:13.460 Dude, all right.

00:19:14.220 You say that, but at the same time, like, all right, you don't have to be able to go deep 0.99

00:19:18.300 as fuck to get a good blowy. 0.99

00:19:19.500 It helps. 1.00

00:19:20.060 That's...

00:19:20.860 It helps.

00:19:21.920 You have to go get a little bit of a tip.

00:19:23.080 I don't know.

00:19:23.820 I mean, working the tip...

00:19:24.380 It depends how touchy we're talking here.

00:19:25.980 If it's, like, super touchy, sure.

00:19:27.460 But, you know, like, I don't know.

00:19:28.820 Working the tip does feel good, but you're not...

00:19:30.780 You can't...

00:19:31.060 It's not a...

00:19:31.480 Not just a tip.

00:19:32.260 You know what I mean.

00:19:32.940 Like, yeah, you don't...

00:19:33.680 That's all I could do.

00:19:34.700 I could only do just a tip.

00:19:36.000 I could not get any deeper than that.

00:19:37.160 That's how, like... 0.98

00:19:37.700 All right, yeah, that'd be trash, no matter what you do. 1.00

00:19:39.580 I mean, I almost gag licking a clit, dude. 1.00

00:19:42.940 Like, that's... 0.99

00:19:43.400 That sounds bad. 1.00

00:19:44.700 What the fuck? 1.00

00:19:46.200 Your poor wife. 1.00

00:19:46.900 It's gross. 0.99

00:19:50.940 You're just like...

00:19:52.180 Okay.

00:19:55.500 No, it's great.

00:19:56.440 It doesn't even have that at all.

00:19:59.160 Are you almost done? 0.99

00:20:01.220 I like how we just know that the oral sex in Cole's household is not very good both ways. 0.99

00:20:09.580 I bet you at least it's fair. 0.97

00:20:11.920 I bet you if you had a chart of gag reflexes amongst women, it's, like, static through the 1.00

00:20:17.960 70s, 80s, 90s, and then, like, right after Bo Clinton, the gag reflex chart just drops

00:20:22.380 to the ground, because, like, every girl, you know, I'm fortunate enough to have been

00:20:27.340 old enough to have had somewhat of a sex life, you know, before and after that, and let

00:20:32.320 me tell you, women have gotten tremendously better at their jobs. 1.00

00:20:36.020 So, Bill Clinton made sucking dick. 1.00

00:20:39.580 Like, a cool thing to do. 1.00

00:20:41.900 Yeah.

00:20:42.900 Yes.

00:20:44.220 Honestly, he's the best president, then.

00:20:46.340 Like, he is, like, every... 1.00

00:20:48.460 Fuck you, Calculich. 1.00

00:20:49.280 Set his politics aside. 1.00

00:20:51.000 He made blowjobs super popular. 1.00

00:20:54.480 Imagine sucking one dick and being set for life, though. 1.00

00:20:57.200 I'd fucking do it. 1.00

00:20:58.240 I'm not even gonna lie. 0.99

00:20:59.720 Of course.

00:21:00.120 Who wouldn't?

00:21:00.500 Hey, Toad, that's...

00:21:01.820 I'm sorry.

00:21:02.200 Jose, that's the actual...

00:21:03.980 That's just the...

00:21:04.960 What's your number?

00:21:06.180 Like, what's your... 1.00

00:21:07.180 How much money would it take to suck a dick? 1.00

00:21:09.500 I mean, that's all that is. 1.00

00:21:11.220 Well, that's exactly why...

00:21:13.440 And she didn't even get money. 1.00

00:21:14.460 She definitely didn't get any money. 1.00

00:21:15.880 She, like, didn't directly get money, but she's been able to ride that shit. 1.00

00:21:19.420 I don't know. 0.99

00:21:19.840 She's always involved.

00:21:20.940 Oh, she was riding it.

00:21:22.140 She's hustled. 1.00

00:21:23.300 She was able to use the clout to hustle for shit, you know? 1.00

00:21:26.520 Well, that's, like... 1.00

00:21:27.560 That's why, like, they blew that up, because Clinton's presidency was, like, actually terrible

00:21:33.400 before that.

00:21:33.800 Oh, Clinton bombed Serbia?

00:21:35.800 Nope.

00:21:36.080 He just got blown.

00:21:37.880 After he blew Serbia, Monica Lewinsky blew him. 1.00

00:21:40.940 So now that's your focus.

00:21:42.380 By the way, I watched the Matt and Shane Secret Podcast when they had on Louis C.K.

00:21:46.260 to talk about the presidents, which is...

00:21:48.180 If you haven't watched it, go watch it.

00:21:49.560 It's really funny, really great.

00:21:51.240 But if we were to do that, I think it would be really fun.

00:21:53.920 I think it would be really fun for us to go through all the presidents and then just

00:21:57.140 say, like, how awesome...

00:21:58.360 Like, just talk about each president.

00:22:00.160 I was asking in the group chat all day, hey, any ideas for the show?

00:22:03.600 And you're just, like, radio silent.

00:22:05.260 I have nothing to say. 0.99

00:22:06.280 Then we get on here, and you're like, I got fucking ideas. 0.97

00:22:08.840 Let's do this. 0.96

00:22:08.900 Because I actually work, okay, Clint?

00:22:11.460 I actually have a job.

00:22:13.140 I mean, I'm not sitting in Miami.

00:22:14.080 Oh, I have a job. 0.99

00:22:16.000 It's my fault that you have to fucking work. 0.99

00:22:18.180 I'm not retired. 0.99

00:22:19.560 What did you say?

00:22:33.120 What's the idea with the presidents?

00:22:34.220 What are we doing?

00:22:34.680 No, we would just go through.

00:22:35.920 We would talk about each president and just the history we know on that president.

00:22:39.440 And we could do a little bit, just do a little bit of stuff.

00:22:41.840 But what makes them cool?

00:22:43.180 If you watched their episode, it was really funny.

00:22:44.980 They would talk about what makes them cool.

00:22:46.080 Dude, it'd be awful.

00:22:46.800 Nothing about, like, what?

00:22:49.240 It'd be awful if we did that. 0.88

00:22:50.460 I'd be like, I don't fucking know. 0.96

00:22:51.340 Next one. 0.98

00:22:52.400 No way.

00:22:53.200 We have them. 0.98

00:22:54.080 I don't know shit about it. 0.97

00:22:54.660 All right, Woodrow Wilson. 1.00

00:22:55.500 Fuck that guy. 1.00

00:22:56.300 You don't have to do any research. 1.00

00:22:57.680 Because for the first, like, probably, like, 15 of them, you're like, yeah, that guy was 0.99

00:23:00.600 fucking slaves. 0.99

00:23:01.500 No, that's 100% true. 1.00

00:23:04.480 Like, it was pretty crazy, like, how many.

00:23:06.960 And then we just talk about the history of America. 0.98

00:23:08.300 But not, like, in, like, the stupid, like, history of, oh, they were so bad because in 1.00

00:23:13.880 1832, they passed this law and I don't know, fuck that. 0.99

00:23:17.780 Just like, okay, yeah, this guy was, he, like, totally swindled, like, on Louisiana Purchase. 0.99

00:23:23.200 Just, like, he came in there, big dicking it.

00:23:25.180 And he was just like, yeah, I'm going to buy it.

00:23:26.360 Thomas Jefferson.

00:23:26.920 Thomas Jefferson.

00:23:28.780 Apparently.

00:23:29.300 That's one I know.

00:23:30.100 Yeah, Thomas Jefferson, whenever he did the Louisiana Purchase, the Congress was like,

00:23:36.180 yeah, you have, like, a certain amount.

00:23:38.000 It was like $5 million to buy Louisiana.

00:23:42.420 Like, that's it.

00:23:42.880 Just buy New Orleans or whatever or something like that.

00:23:45.420 And then he went in there and the French were like, hey, you just want, like, all the way? 1.00

00:23:48.500 And he was like, well, that's more than I was supposed to tell you. 1.00

00:23:50.780 Well, they fucked up. 1.00

00:23:51.980 Super cheap. 1.00

00:23:52.320 Let's do it anyway.

00:23:53.280 And then he came back to Congress.

00:23:54.220 He's like, I did it. 1.00

00:23:55.480 Fuck you. 1.00

00:23:55.940 Like, you know, I was like, that's pretty baller. 1.00

00:23:57.540 Like, he's pretty cool.

00:23:58.840 It's a cool guy. 1.00

00:24:00.540 Thomas Jefferson is a shit. 1.00

00:24:02.120 Yeah, that's right. 1.00

00:24:02.840 Yeah.

00:24:03.220 I don't care if he owns slaves. 1.00

00:24:04.260 I don't give a fuck. 1.00

00:24:05.020 Yeah, he was a massive. 1.00

00:24:06.560 He was a massive landowner, man.

00:24:09.340 Yeah.

00:24:10.320 Hell yeah.

00:24:10.800 And property owner.

00:24:12.580 Benzo Barbie brought up something good earlier.

00:24:14.440 He had a wife.

00:24:15.000 She was saying sitting down to pee is high T energy.

00:24:18.400 I kind of actually got to agree with that. 0.96

00:24:20.180 I think a lot of people will say it's like gay if you sit down to pee.

00:24:22.880 No, I think it's being like extra. 1.00

00:24:24.420 You don't give a fuck. 0.99

00:24:25.500 And it's, I don't know. 0.99

00:24:26.740 It's kind of comfortable.

00:24:27.560 I like sitting down to pee.

00:24:27.980 Imagine not using your muscles at all times. 1.00

00:24:30.660 Like, that's fucking gay. 1.00

00:24:32.000 That's not using your overall body muscles as a man. 1.00

00:24:35.100 I thought you were going to say that's alpha.

00:24:37.600 Imagine not using your muscles all the time.

00:24:40.540 Alpha.

00:24:40.980 You should be tensed up 99% of the day. 0.99

00:24:45.080 I mean, in fairness, there was like kings and princes and shit that got carried around by their servants. 0.97

00:24:48.980 So that's kind of like the modern evolution. 0.99

00:24:51.480 Damn. 0.99

00:24:52.040 Yeah. 1.00

00:24:52.360 Did they have toilets like in their thrones?

00:24:54.560 So they like really didn't even have to move at all?

00:24:57.380 I want to know who the fattest king was.

00:24:59.080 Like who was the most slovenly piece of king?

00:25:00.880 There was that guy in the Bible.

00:25:02.800 I bet he was Samoan. 0.88

00:25:04.800 Henry VIII was so fat. 0.92

00:25:05.900 No, there was that guy in the Bible that they said they stabbed him with a knife and he was so fat, his belly sucked in the knife. 0.68

00:25:13.580 I actually remember that.

00:25:14.560 That was in Judges, I think.

00:25:15.840 Yeah.

00:25:16.140 Yeah.

00:25:16.760 Because they were like – the whole point was that this guy was left-handed.

00:25:21.300 So they wouldn't – because they were like – everybody that was left-handed they thought was like literally retarded. 0.99

00:25:24.940 I thought they were like the spawn of Satan. 0.97

00:25:28.600 Yeah.

00:25:28.780 They literally – and so they would only check – for some reason only check your right arm and stuff for weapons. 0.98

00:25:35.160 And so he was just carrying a knife in his left arm then rolls up and just fucking stabs him and his belly sucked in the knife and killed him. 0.96

00:25:41.580 I feel like his body – I'm imagining his body looking like slimers for some reason. 0.99

00:25:46.180 It's helping with the story.

00:25:47.540 Anyways.

00:25:47.920 But yeah, it was – I guess that's – I'm trying to think of any other fat ones.

00:25:51.740 It's that – just – but is it just Kings or – because that fat – it could be any –

00:25:58.140 Yeah, Unfit Statesman.

00:26:02.620 When Clint vapes, he looks like Mitch McConnell's excess neck fat.

00:26:07.940 I don't even know what it means, but I'm going to roll with it.

00:26:10.540 I don't either, but it's funny. 0.93

00:26:11.920 Unfit Statesman is so fucking funny, dude. 0.67

00:26:13.640 He's such a great follow on Twitter if you want to follow him. 0.81

00:26:16.260 He made a great – what was that video he made?

00:26:18.920 He just makes random videos about things.

00:26:20.900 And there was one that was – I can't remember.

00:26:23.020 He's skinny ginger Tim Dillon, and he knows it.

00:26:25.940 Oh, yeah.

00:26:26.220 Oh, yeah.

00:26:26.280 Absolutely.

00:26:27.240 I mean, he could do what Alex Stein does if he really wanted to. 0.99

00:26:30.160 He could go and just off the cuff just fucking rant. 0.97

00:26:33.040 I appreciate it. 0.99

00:26:33.720 He could definitely do that, and he should. 0.98

00:26:35.320 David Brady mentioned that William Howard Taft was fat as fuck, and William Howard Taft is also a relative of mine. 0.99

00:26:42.960 Makes sense. 0.99

00:26:44.080 I got the awesome genius, man.

00:26:45.720 I like to mix this up and not talk about anything that they did while president, but just go through and figure out which presidents died the most gruesome deaths and then just rank them by that.

00:26:55.100 That would be kind of cool.

00:26:55.700 Oh, that's actually really good because I think I would say – wasn't it Garfield that got shot for like 12 weeks after that?

00:27:03.700 Yeah. 0.98

00:27:03.960 He had like sepsis or some shit. 0.99

00:27:05.560 Yeah, in agony died. 0.98

00:27:07.160 Yeah, he got shot, and then they like removed the bullet or whatever, and it got infected, and then he died that way.

00:27:13.320 They said that –

00:27:13.940 Sepsis is a rough way to go.

00:27:15.220 With modern medicine, he would have been out in like three days.

00:27:18.080 He would have been totally fine.

00:27:19.260 Yeah, and yes, Taft did get stuck in the White House bathtub from Joe, the OP.

00:27:26.180 He did not die, though.

00:27:27.700 Yeah, but Garfield also – if you want to watch – Sam Monella Academy has a great video on the guy that killed Garfield. 1.00

00:27:38.240 He's a fucking weirdo, dude. 0.97

00:27:39.600 Yeah, Charles Gauthier, I think is his name. 1.00

00:27:41.940 Yes, yes, and he straight up was like so deluded, so he like – he was into politics, and then he wasn't very good. 0.98

00:27:50.460 Everybody fucking hated him. 0.96

00:27:51.200 I think he was on opioids or something. 0.99

00:27:53.000 Yeah, and so he started like – he wrote a letter that was like pro-James Garfield, and then when James Garfield won, he was just like, well, I fucking did it.

00:28:02.620 It was me, and so he goes to James Garfield over and over and be like, hey, I want to be the ambassador to like Chile.

00:28:10.880 He was like, I want to be the ambassador. 0.99

00:28:12.280 Get the fuck out of here. 0.99

00:28:13.760 I don't know who you are, and he did it so many times that they were just like – they like I guess like filed a restraining order on him, like get out. 1.00

00:28:20.180 I can't be – we're close, and he got so upset that he went and killed the president over it.

00:28:24.480 Like he just thought in his mind he was like he's going to be so thankful that I wrote this letter supporting him that he's going to make me the ambassador to Chile.

00:28:31.600 It's like us anytime anything works in our favor.

00:28:34.940 Well, the thing is though, Garfield, I think he was one of those guys who like didn't want to be president.

00:28:41.680 He didn't want to be president at all.

00:28:43.060 Garfield kind of refused it, but he won the election, so he kind of just had to do it, which is – that's kind of like the better scenario.

00:28:48.940 You're one of the better presidents.

00:28:50.440 He actively said, I don't want to be president.

00:28:53.500 He actually was like – because he was like in the Senate or something, and they were like, you should be president.

00:28:57.420 He was like, no, I don't want to be president.

00:28:59.140 Do not vote for me at all.

00:29:00.440 Do not vote for me.

00:29:01.520 And then they like nominated him to be the like Republican candidate, and he was like, I don't want to be president.

00:29:06.880 Charles Guiteau, I think. 0.95

00:29:08.200 And then he fucking – and then he fucking won, and he was just like, well – and like in his speech, he was just like, well, I didn't want to do this, but I guess I'll do it now. 0.98

00:29:17.540 That should be what Dave runs on. 1.00

00:29:18.620 Then he got fucking shot. 1.00

00:29:19.420 Don't vote for me. 1.00

00:29:20.000 Don't vote for anyone, and then he'll be president.

00:29:22.800 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:29:23.500 Yeah, that'll happen to Dave, and then some crazy stalker. 0.98

00:29:26.280 It'll be a black mutualist. 0.98

00:29:27.880 No, it'll be me. 0.72

00:29:28.680 It'll be me.

00:29:29.540 I'll just be like, I did it.

00:29:30.720 It was – yeah.

00:29:31.480 That's right.

00:29:32.600 It's going to be – Dave will win the presidency, and I'll be like, hey, Dave, you remember me?

00:29:36.300 I'm Fat Dave.

00:29:36.880 You want to make me ambassador to Chile?

00:29:39.740 You said I'm your worst enemy.

00:29:42.440 And then after that, he said he loves me, and I'm great.

00:29:44.500 So I don't – like this is – I mean –

00:29:47.440 Yeah, Dave Smith has been killed by the fat version of himself. 0.82

00:29:51.780 It's so funny that he actively is like, I hate that guy.

00:29:55.660 I don't think he knows your name or Tower Gang's name.

00:29:59.500 That's probably why he doesn't shut us out.

00:30:01.080 He's just like, yeah, Fat Dave, I know him from something.

00:30:04.120 He's been high before, but only on like shows.

00:30:06.560 It was like yours or like stuff like that.

00:30:09.060 It's only what it like doesn't – like it only matters like a little bit.

00:30:14.180 Then he'll give us shout-outs.

00:30:15.720 But when it actually really matters, he's like, oh, yeah, I know that guy.

00:30:19.800 No, I mentioned this before.

00:30:21.540 I was saying that it's 100% just money.

00:30:24.280 It's because the shout-outs on their show is worth at least like a grand.

00:30:28.800 Like it's worth $1,000 like to them.

00:30:31.200 And so they're just like, we're not – don't shout-out people because it's not – it'll like ruin our like business enterprise.

00:30:36.980 I legit think that's probably been said at some point.

00:30:39.240 It sounds like you paid them off is what you're saying.

00:30:42.660 I would pay – I would pay Dave $1,000.

00:30:44.820 No, I'm just kidding.

00:30:45.720 All right.

00:30:46.380 Well, go ahead. 0.94

00:30:48.220 Maybe you just need to blow him or something.

00:30:50.220 Clint, you can get on that at Stinkfest.

00:30:52.220 I told you. 1.00

00:30:53.180 His dick is way too big. 1.00

00:30:54.380 Yeah, I was about to say it. 1.00

00:30:55.440 Like I have a very bad gag reflex.

00:30:57.800 That's why I'm having Clint do it, not you.

00:30:59.640 I have a very bad gag reflex.

00:31:02.760 I could work his tip and I could do some ball work.

00:31:07.740 I could do some good shaft work with my hands.

00:31:09.980 But I mean –

00:31:10.740 Please stop.

00:31:12.600 I mean we could – don't lie.

00:31:14.500 We could all do good shaft work. 1.00

00:31:16.360 We could all jerk off a dick. 1.00

00:31:17.700 Yeah, I would imagine. 1.00

00:31:19.120 I mean we are way better jerking off a dick. 1.00

00:31:21.700 I don't think I could go deep as shit, but I could suck a good dick. 1.00

00:31:24.540 I really think – just because I know that the thing – I can think I can go deep enough. 1.00

00:31:27.860 I also – you know what they like.

00:31:29.960 That's not true.

00:31:30.460 No, that's not true.

00:31:32.100 Jose, that's not true because you know – I mean not you, but like me, Clint and Toad,

00:31:37.500 know how like good – what good like football is, like what's a good play.

00:31:42.820 But it's not like we can go in there and like coach a football team.

00:31:45.220 Like that cannot happen.

00:31:46.040 No, no, no.

00:31:46.420 For the same reason. 0.66

00:31:47.040 You know what a good blow job is, but you can know – that doesn't mean you can actually go and do it.

00:31:51.100 No, it's kind of different though, right? 1.00

00:31:52.240 You know how chicks claim that other chicks give better – they eat better pussy than men do? 1.00

00:31:58.460 100% they could, yeah. 0.99

00:31:59.220 Because they have that equipment?

00:32:00.700 Well, we have the equipment. 0.96

00:32:01.720 They're retarded, and they're like – you can be like literally up and down. 1.00

00:32:05.020 They're just like, I don't get it. 1.00

00:32:06.500 Guys have their equipment, so guys are better at giving blow jobs. 1.00

00:32:10.500 That's just the way it is. 1.00

00:32:12.320 Dude, I guarantee you you get a gay dude to suck your dick will probably be the best BJ of your life. 1.00

00:32:16.100 Yes, I believe it, but he's also always sucking dick. 1.00

00:32:19.840 Especially if he's a fat gay dude. 1.00

00:32:21.680 It would be like – 1.00

00:32:22.740 But what a –

00:32:24.020 No one here has ever gotten a head from a dude?

00:32:25.860 Come on. 0.91

00:32:27.180 Dude, I went to a gay bar once with my homie because he was – 1.00

00:32:30.400 I've been to a gay bar. 1.00

00:32:31.140 And I had like one dude who was like aggressively trying to suck my dick the whole night. 1.00

00:32:35.040 And I just remember being like really drunk. 1.00

00:32:36.880 Like, oh, you keep trying, dude.

00:32:39.100 Try a little bit later, bud. 0.52

00:32:41.140 Dude, I've done karaoke at a gay bar before.

00:32:43.540 You definitely –

00:32:44.380 Fun time, man. 0.97

00:32:45.160 I feel like if you lean in at a gay bar, you could make yourself feel really good about yourself. 0.99

00:32:48.900 Just be like a guy hitting on you. 0.98

00:32:50.740 I bet that feels pretty good.

00:32:51.420 It was so fun.

00:32:52.360 Dude, throughout my early 20s, there was numerous times when I was drunk enough of a dude who'd come up to me and just been like, 0.99

00:32:58.920 I will give you the blow job of your life. 0.99

00:33:00.240 I probably would have said yes. 0.99

00:33:01.300 I'm so glad that it never happened.

00:33:04.040 Would you have any caveats?

00:33:05.680 Would you be like, okay, I have to –

00:33:07.240 It has to be through a glory hole. 1.00

00:33:08.980 Or would you just be like, just suck my dick. 1.00

00:33:10.200 I'm just not going to look at – 1.00

00:33:11.400 I mean, I don't know.

00:33:13.280 Because I feel like if I was to do that, I would have to be a caveat.

00:33:16.280 Be like, okay, just like, let's go to the bathroom. 0.82

00:33:17.800 Is there a hole in there?

00:33:18.440 I'd be like, let me cut a hole in this sheet.

00:33:21.580 What I'm going to do is I'm going to, like, under the stall, there's that, like, cutout. 1.00

00:33:25.560 I'm going to lay under that with my dick sticking straight up. 1.00

00:33:28.280 You stand on the other side of the stall and suck my dick. 1.00

00:33:30.520 And I'm just going to be staring up at the ceiling. 1.00

00:33:32.260 But if you have a barricade there, then he can fucking drop his pants down and just sit on your dick. 1.00

00:33:37.720 I bet I feel good. 1.00

00:33:40.920 I have a tendency to get drunk. 0.99

00:33:42.220 I bet I shit grips. 1.00

00:33:43.700 I have a tendency to get drunk and, like, hit on gay dudes. 1.00

00:33:47.140 But, like, in, like, a way, like, oh, if I was gay, oh, man, me and you. 0.95

00:33:51.360 And they'd just be like –

00:33:52.200 They're like – I don't know.

00:33:52.980 For me, I just find it funny because they're all, like, blushing.

00:33:55.700 It makes them feel good.

00:33:56.720 And then they kind of flirt back.

00:33:57.900 And I'm like, I got to feel good. 1.00

00:33:58.940 And you're like, I'm not going to suck your dick, homie. 1.00

00:34:01.020 See, I bet it feels good. 1.00

00:34:04.440 I bet it feels good.

00:34:06.140 I've done it with my wife right next to me before. 1.00

00:34:08.500 My wife is like, what the fuck is wrong with you? 1.00

00:34:10.740 I would actually do it with a milking table because then you're on top of the dude and you don't have to see him. 0.99

00:34:15.360 And you're kind of dominating him in that way.

00:34:17.380 I mean, it's kind of like a – 1.00

00:34:18.760 What if he goes on all fours and he shoves his asshole up in the dick? 1.00

00:34:22.960 It's kind of like a sideways glory hole. 1.00

00:34:24.920 Well, you can still do that with a glory hole, man.

00:34:26.920 You can just turn around and back that thing right up to the glory hole.

00:34:29.840 You know what I mean? 1.00

00:34:30.260 There is nothing funnier than accidentally fucking a dude in the ass. 1.00

00:34:34.480 I think it's the funniest thing on the planet. 1.00

00:34:37.520 It is so funny to be like, I'm just going to get my dick sucked. 1.00

00:34:40.020 That's it. 1.00

00:34:40.340 It's just a mouth.

00:34:41.580 It's just like any other mouth in the world. 1.00

00:34:43.620 And he just starts fucking – 1.00

00:34:44.620 He just puts his ass up there. 1.00

00:34:46.180 He loops it up. 0.99

00:34:47.640 And you're just like –

00:34:48.560 His mouth feels a little bit different.

00:34:51.040 But it's kind of the same.

00:34:52.740 And then he walks out and he's like waddling.

00:34:56.800 And you're just like –

00:34:57.620 Wait, did I –

00:34:59.960 Would you want the guy to be clean shaven, by the way, if he was about to blow you?

00:35:04.940 I think all –

00:35:06.040 Whoa. 1.00

00:35:06.760 Oh, I thought you meant like his ass. 1.00

00:35:07.820 On his face? 1.00

00:35:09.100 His ass, yes. 1.00

00:35:11.160 Freshly shaven, yes. 1.00

00:35:12.700 Yeah, I would prefer that. 0.96

00:35:13.520 I think it's like a day or two later where it's like fucking like all – 0.97

00:35:15.660 No, if it's stubble, you'd be in trouble. 0.98

00:35:17.340 That would be –

00:35:18.180 Stubble trouble, as they say.

00:35:21.160 Stubble. 0.99

00:35:21.600 But if you give a good blowjob, would you be feeling their face? 0.99

00:35:25.740 I don't feel like that would – 1.00

00:35:26.580 If you give a great blowjob, you feel the chick's entire fucking forehead and face. 1.00

00:35:30.800 Because she is just slamming it. 1.00

00:35:35.620 And that's why I like being fat. 0.55

00:35:37.680 Because it provides like a cushion for her forehead. 0.56

00:35:40.060 You know what I mean?

00:35:40.760 You're never going to go unconscious blowing toad.

00:35:44.120 That's what they say.

00:35:44.860 Yeah.

00:35:45.560 Have you got –

00:35:46.160 Any of you guys ever had the mythical where they put the whole thing in and then do that 0.99

00:35:49.160 shit where they like – 1.00

00:35:50.160 And I lick the balls. 1.00

00:35:51.560 I didn't know they had a name. 0.99

00:35:52.760 That's so cool.

00:35:53.400 I don't know.

00:35:53.880 Wait, is that really called the mythical?

00:35:55.280 Oh, no.

00:35:55.600 I just said it was mythical.

00:35:57.220 Oh, no, no.

00:35:58.120 That's what it's called now.

00:35:59.240 That is like –

00:36:00.240 It's like reaching God.

00:36:01.780 You're like –

00:36:02.240 I just wish – 1.00

00:36:05.180 If I was ever going to blowjob, I would be about the black dude from Bubba Gump. 1.00

00:36:09.020 I guess Bubba Gump. 0.99

00:36:10.760 That's what it's supposed to mean. 1.00

00:36:11.320 Because his fucking bottom lip would be able to flip around your balls whenever he 1.00

00:36:15.120 goes all the way down. 1.00

00:36:18.320 He goes all the way down.

00:36:20.380 Yeah, that's what you need. 0.99

00:36:22.100 You need to get a blowjob from like a pelican, basically. 1.00

00:36:26.220 What's the underwear that your balls are in? 1.00

00:36:28.960 Cheat. 1.00

00:36:29.900 Cheat.

00:36:30.240 That's like a sheet flowy.

00:36:31.940 Sheet flowy. 1.00

00:36:32.660 Just like holds your balls. 0.99

00:36:34.080 I don't know if I've told this story before, but there was this girl I was dating, I don't 0.99

00:36:37.960 know, seven, eight years ago.

00:36:39.200 I would never present her to my friends, by the way.

00:36:41.660 Not a prize.

00:36:42.480 Anyways, point being, she – first time we meet, she's like – she wants to blow me. 1.00

00:36:48.200 And I'm like, okay, let's do that. 0.98

00:36:49.640 She must be fat, Clint. 1.00

00:36:50.820 No, just Mexican, and that's – you know, I'm not introducing her to a family.

00:36:56.920 So she tells me when she starts, she goes, tell me when you're going to come, which I've

00:37:00.500 heard before.

00:37:01.080 That's not completely unusual.

00:37:02.540 Some girls are like – 1.00

00:37:03.040 Oh, that's funny.

00:37:04.400 Yeah, right?

00:37:05.420 No, no, no.

00:37:07.300 Some girls are like, they don't want to be startled by it, or they want to stop and 1.00

00:37:11.260 like let it launch in the air.

00:37:12.400 Whatever.

00:37:12.880 You know, you have your reasons.

00:37:13.660 Yeah, I want them to be startled by it.

00:37:14.580 This girl goes, tell me when you're going to come, when you're going to come.

00:37:17.700 And I was like, okay, so I let her know, and she just goes, how's that?

00:37:22.460 And she takes it all away, puts her forehead onto my stomach. 0.90

00:37:26.200 That's amazing.

00:37:26.780 Like tongue down.

00:37:28.340 Like it was unbelievable.

00:37:30.120 I want it.

00:37:31.460 Zero gag reflex whatsoever.

00:37:32.800 Just literally like launching directly into the bottom of her stomach.

00:37:36.560 It was very impressive.

00:37:37.700 Dude, that is next level.

00:37:39.280 I've had that once, and it was the same chicken to the ball thing.

00:37:42.260 And it was like right when – and she didn't tell me to tell her.

00:37:45.160 She's new. 0.84

00:37:45.840 That's what even made it even more magical.

00:37:47.140 She just like could tell by the like –

00:37:49.140 Oh, that's special. 0.98

00:37:49.540 She just fucking threw it back and just – 1.00

00:37:51.120 That's a special human being. 0.99

00:37:52.540 Like, oh, like –

00:37:54.620 I love that you called it the mythical because now when I tell that story,

00:37:59.720 that's what I'm going to describe it as.

00:38:01.500 This is –

00:38:01.700 Yeah, it is.

00:38:02.400 That's actually great.

00:38:03.020 Honestly, you need to put that into the like urban dictionary because that's a great name.

00:38:08.420 It is.

00:38:08.920 It's fitting because it's like –

00:38:10.280 And it's not just mythical.

00:38:11.780 It's the mythical.

00:38:12.820 It's title of the episode.

00:38:14.060 How many chicks have you had that could do that? 1.00

00:38:16.280 Probably just the one, right?

00:38:17.660 Yep.

00:38:18.280 Yep.

00:38:18.620 Same here. 0.98

00:38:19.220 So it's like – it is why it's like that like great white buffalo bullshit where it's like just the one. 0.99

00:38:23.180 They're unicorns, dude. 0.99

00:38:24.340 They're just out there.

00:38:25.620 With mine, it was a chick –

00:38:27.280 Ruining dude's lives.

00:38:27.880 When I was in college, I bought Xanax off of her. 1.00

00:38:31.100 I don't even like Xanax, but the only reason to do it is because I want to fuck her, and I did. 1.00

00:38:35.120 And then like I just like fell in love. 1.00

00:38:37.380 And she was clearly a fucking whore, but I was just like – 1.00

00:38:40.360 I would have married her. 1.00

00:38:41.560 Like I was just like –

00:38:43.260 Well, that's what happens to you, man, when you're on the white pill. 1.00

00:38:46.780 Fucking pussy struck. 1.00

00:38:48.220 Yeah, it was something else. 1.00

00:38:51.340 Only time I ever saw that girl again.

00:38:54.240 She lived in Mission Bay. 0.95

00:38:56.300 She texted me in the middle of the night, and I was like I was not going to have sex with this chick. 1.00

00:38:59.600 I was like I was not into it. 0.99

00:39:00.740 Oh, was she that dirty? 1.00

00:39:01.780 Was she like – was she like one that you'd be like – 0.71

00:39:04.400 Yeah.

00:39:04.920 I'll double bag it, and I'm still kind of –

00:39:06.900 I'm still kind of worried.

00:39:07.940 Not double bagging, not doing it, not going to do it.

00:39:10.100 You got to get me wrong. 1.00

00:39:10.380 That's when you put a baby in and just like fuck how bad your life goes. 1.00

00:39:13.500 No. 1.00

00:39:14.180 Oh, no. 1.00

00:39:14.900 They'll kill it. 1.00

00:39:15.580 No. 1.00

00:39:16.220 Terrible at home. 1.00

00:39:17.040 They will fucking like hang her – 1.00

00:39:20.120 I don't know. 1.00

00:39:20.520 Don't hang her up there.

00:39:21.940 She's Hispanic too, so I knew it was like –

00:39:23.620 You guys have never had the mythical.

00:39:24.840 You don't understand.

00:39:25.660 Dude, she took down Clint's load like in such a way that she might have gotten pregnant from it now that I think about it. 0.99

00:39:31.880 Wait, wait, wait, Clint.

00:39:32.800 I don't think you're going to say how this works.

00:39:34.400 Wait, wait, Clint. 0.99

00:39:35.440 Clint, she gave a better blowjob than another woman that we all know? 1.00

00:39:40.600 That you mentioned to us? 1.00

00:39:43.900 That was weird.

00:39:44.620 No.

00:39:45.320 No.

00:39:45.500 Wait, she didn't give one better?

00:39:47.720 It was comparable.

00:39:49.820 Oh, I know what you're talking about.

00:39:51.460 I thought that was a weird slight.

00:39:53.380 No, no, no.

00:39:55.500 Interesting. 0.99

00:39:56.400 I thought that was really fucked up for a moment. 0.97

00:39:58.700 Setting that aside. 0.99

00:40:00.380 Jesus Christ.

00:40:01.520 So the only other time I saw her, I was super drunk in Pacific Beach, and she was like in Mission Beach, and they're very close.

00:40:08.540 Anyway, she texts me, and she's like, what are you doing?

00:40:10.740 And I'm like, not bringing you around my friends still.

00:40:14.240 So, you know, but she's like, I'm like five miles away from you.

00:40:17.940 I don't know how she knew that.

00:40:18.660 I think I had Snapchat at the time, and they had my location on or some shit.

00:40:22.400 And I was like, all right, I'll drive over.

00:40:25.640 I just drive over.

00:40:26.680 She was like, come to my place.

00:40:28.000 I was like, mm-mm, mm-mm.

00:40:29.160 Because I knew if we were in the car, I could justify not wanting to have a second in the car.

00:40:32.720 She does it again in the car.

00:40:33.880 And I never talked to her again.

00:40:35.220 But two mythicals.

00:40:37.080 Ooh.

00:40:37.440 Wow.

00:40:38.080 Nice.

00:40:38.500 Dude, you have far more self-respect than I do.

00:40:40.260 I would bring her around.

00:40:40.900 All my friends.

00:40:41.920 Like, this is so-and-so.

00:40:43.040 I'd be like, what is wrong with you?

00:40:44.080 I'd be like, hey.

00:40:44.860 Yeah, yeah.

00:40:45.720 Yeah.

00:40:45.960 I'd be like, I don't care. 1.00

00:40:49.520 Like, she's a fucking whore. 1.00

00:40:51.440 Yeah, you call her the mythical. 1.00

00:40:53.820 This is like one of my roommates in college.

00:40:56.720 I was dating this chick who had a tongue ring or tongue piercing. 1.00

00:41:00.620 And I guess, like, it was like some sort of stud that I guess made the blowjobs that she gave like really amazing or something. 1.00

00:41:07.460 It's bullshit. 1.00

00:41:08.460 She called it the Tigler. 1.00

00:41:10.700 I don't think I've ever had a blowie from a chick with a tongue ring. 1.00

00:41:13.460 I don't really know. 0.97

00:41:14.480 It seems like your wife looks like she has a tongue ring. 1.00

00:41:17.240 Your wife looks like a woman. 1.00

00:41:18.500 She does, doesn't she?

00:41:19.600 But she doesn't.

00:41:20.480 Yeah, but she's 100%. 1.00

00:41:22.280 I've actually talked to my wife about this foreign. 1.00

00:41:25.200 She's like, no, the only women who get those are whores. 1.00

00:41:27.900 And I'm like, okay, that's fair. 1.00

00:41:30.740 You're like, yeah, I know that.

00:41:32.460 I understand.

00:41:33.280 I won't look made. 1.00

00:41:34.020 I won't, bitch. 1.00

00:41:35.160 I had some guy friends that got them in high school because they were like all the rage back then. 1.00

00:41:38.760 And I was like, you look gay, bro. 1.00

00:41:41.000 You look stupid, bro. 1.00

00:41:43.380 All the chicks think I probably eat really good pussy. 1.00

00:41:45.400 I'm like, no, you look like you're compensating for not knowing where the clit is. 1.00

00:41:49.400 That's what it looks like to me. 1.00

00:41:50.760 Fucking Davey. 0.99

00:41:51.680 Fucking Davey from, I guess, the now defunct Libertarian Friendship Simulator. 1.00

00:41:55.180 He has one. 0.98

00:41:56.100 The only bad thing about it is just during podcasts, you can just hear him like swirling around.

00:42:01.460 It's like they do, because they can't stop playing with it. 1.00

00:42:03.780 I mean, it's just like, it's a dick in your mouth. 1.00

00:42:06.040 You just can't, as a guy, you can't help but play with it. 1.00

00:42:08.200 Flint would make sense.

00:42:09.300 I could see Flint having a tongue ring.

00:42:10.980 Oh, Flint would, yeah. 1.00

00:42:11.660 But fucking Davey? 0.99

00:42:12.560 No, no, no. 1.00

00:42:12.980 I could see Flint having a dick ring. 1.00

00:42:15.040 Having a fucking Prince Albert. 1.00

00:42:17.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:42:17.180 I would imagine he does, honestly.

00:42:19.100 Yeah, honestly.

00:42:20.860 For as long as I know him, I can't believe he hasn't sent me one.

00:42:23.220 A picture of it.

00:42:24.020 So, well, what you could do, though, is you could have a tongue piercing that's, like, magnetic

00:42:31.280 and then eat out a chick who has the opposite. 1.00

00:42:34.820 I already tell this is going bad, but go on.

00:42:36.620 Keep going.

00:42:37.180 I just want to hear how he finishes his out.

00:42:39.040 Huh?

00:42:39.720 I thought you were going to say, like, she has the IUD and you just pull it out with your tongue. 1.00

00:42:43.540 And so you sit there with the fucking toe. 1.00

00:42:45.140 Are you under the impression that pussies have polarity? 1.00

00:42:48.540 Yes. 1.00

00:42:51.060 Yes, I am.

00:42:51.800 Is that why they repel you?

00:42:54.020 I know, that's a better. 1.00

00:42:58.420 Let's fucking go. 0.99

00:43:00.460 Dude, that's a better title. 1.00

00:43:03.220 Pussy polarity. 1.00

00:43:07.760 Oh, my God. 1.00

00:43:09.960 That was so good.

00:43:10.980 No, I'm not an incel. 1.00

00:43:12.680 This pussy is the opposite of polarity of my dick. 1.00

00:43:16.180 Hey, Cole. 1.00

00:43:16.720 Hey, Cole.

00:43:17.060 You know what I was saying.

00:43:18.040 Let me tee this up for you. 0.99

00:43:19.060 You got some pussy polarity? 1.00

00:43:21.120 Is that what I am? 1.00

00:43:22.000 Hell yeah.

00:43:24.020 Oh, my God. 1.00

00:43:27.260 Oh, shit. 1.00

00:43:28.180 That was great. 1.00

00:43:28.980 I was saying you would use magnetism to find the clit. 1.00

00:43:33.200 That's what I'm saying.

00:43:34.360 Yeah, but wait. 0.99

00:43:35.680 I don't think I understand pussies or magnetism. 0.99

00:43:38.660 You have a piercing and she has a piercing. 1.00

00:43:41.320 You're showing a level of ignorance that is both stunning and brilliant. 0.97

00:43:44.720 That's right. 0.96

00:43:46.940 That's what I do. 0.99

00:43:47.480 It's just so weird that Toad's autism does not work with, like, women's vaginas. 1.00

00:43:51.720 It's just like... 0.97

00:43:52.720 Like, can't you just obsess over that for a couple weeks so you really know what you're

00:43:57.060 talking about?

00:43:57.460 Just, like, really dig deep into it.

00:44:00.100 Like, you have to memorize the batting average of everyone in the 90s? 1.00

00:44:03.480 Like, couldn't you focus on pussy for, like, a couple weeks? 1.00

00:44:06.820 What are you, my dad now? 1.00

00:44:08.160 No, we're just hoping one day maybe you could be a dad.

00:44:15.480 We're just trying to help, man.

00:44:17.660 Dude, I just saw today that, because, of course, Elizabeth's pregnant. 1.00

00:44:22.420 We're actually, like, a fucking month away almost. 0.97

00:44:24.840 Like, it's pretty close to me having a little baby boy bouncing around. 0.96

00:44:29.220 But if they, like, so let's say, like, so they have the baby. 0.98

00:44:32.820 And then, like, if their placenta doesn't come out, they fucking reach up in there and 1.00

00:44:37.220 grab that shit and pull it out. 1.00

00:44:39.260 To me, that is, like, wild. 1.00

00:44:40.960 Like, I could not believe they're just, like...

00:44:42.540 After a baby comes out, the hand is pretty doable.

00:44:45.520 I mean, like...

00:44:46.860 After that, I'd be like, okay...

00:44:48.500 Why did you make that noise? 1.00

00:44:52.820 Thinking about fisting Cole's wife, you piece of shit? 1.00

00:44:56.040 No, no, no. 1.00

00:44:57.240 No, that was more of a sigh of disgust.

00:45:00.560 Oh, okay.

00:45:01.180 It sounded a little bit sexual in nature.

00:45:03.420 No.

00:45:04.140 This is not appropriate.

00:45:05.680 No, that's like a...

00:45:06.600 By the way, I am going to gorge myself on some tinny milk, by the way.

00:45:10.820 That is 100%.

00:45:11.460 Dude, absolutely.

00:45:12.880 I've only had it once.

00:45:13.760 I'm telling you, it's not that good.

00:45:14.640 As an adult.

00:45:15.480 No, I had it once as an adult. 0.99

00:45:16.800 Fucking delicious. 0.99

00:45:17.780 What? 0.99

00:45:18.260 I don't know.

00:45:18.560 Maybe it's a matter of...

00:45:19.000 I will use it to make my protein shakes.

00:45:21.200 And I know that's going to, like, absolutely skyrocket my gains.

00:45:26.020 100%.

00:45:26.340 I am going to get huge. 0.95

00:45:28.860 Or you'll grow breasts, and that'd be awesome either way. 1.00

00:45:32.020 That would be really cool. 0.65

00:45:32.960 Alternative show title.

00:45:33.940 Wait, what's the title?

00:45:37.620 Fisting List.

00:45:38.140 Fisting List. 0.99

00:45:39.080 God damn it, no. 1.00

00:45:41.660 No, you remember... 1.00

00:45:42.340 Fisting List.

00:45:43.300 You remember somebody had dropped that...

00:45:47.980 Well, somebody had tweeted it out.

00:45:49.420 It was a picture.

00:45:50.260 He was like, hey, guys, my wife just gave birth or something. 1.00

00:45:52.800 You see the baby still attached by the umbilical cord and his wife's pussy. 1.00

00:45:57.760 It's just there in the image. 1.00

00:45:59.640 I'm like, what the fuck? 0.98

00:46:00.520 And Jose was just like, yeah, I just beat off to it. 1.00

00:46:02.780 What?

00:46:03.980 What?

00:46:04.940 Whoa.

00:46:06.280 I feel like...

00:46:06.800 I think that vague name that we were talking about, that was...

00:46:08.980 I want to clarify, that was a joke. 0.99

00:46:12.420 I feel like whenever Nathan Fielder has kids, he's going to do shit like that. 0.99

00:46:17.560 Bro, him at the Mets game, dude, he's just, like, just fucking just destroyed. 0.99

00:46:24.060 He's one of the most, like, low-key, funny human beings that have ever lived. 0.83

00:46:29.780 So funny.

00:46:30.500 And he's still brilliant, too.

00:46:32.100 The fact that he...

00:46:32.860 You remember when he posted on social media for the first time in years, and it was, like, 0.99

00:46:36.060 gay porn on his camera, but you could only see it... 0.98

00:46:38.140 Like, it was on his computer screen, but you could only see it in the reflection behind 0.99

00:46:41.220 him.

00:46:41.520 It was so smart.

00:46:43.080 So smart.

00:46:44.160 Just like you in every episode.

00:46:45.060 Did the Padres lose today?

00:46:45.900 Yes, exactly.

00:46:46.720 Did the Padres lose again?

00:46:47.820 Do not spoil it.

00:46:49.180 I have it DVRing right now.

00:46:50.780 They're playing right now.

00:46:51.260 I don't know.

00:46:52.000 I don't know if they did or not.

00:46:52.860 Okay.

00:46:53.280 I left during the second inning.

00:46:54.440 It's...

00:46:56.440 I'm sorry.

00:46:56.500 But, yeah.

00:46:57.060 The Braves lost, too.

00:46:57.900 The Braves lost, too.

00:46:59.040 A little sports ball real quick, but the Braves lost their first game, unfortunately.

00:47:02.440 So...

00:47:02.600 That's true.

00:47:03.180 Stop saying two!

00:47:04.600 Real quick!

00:47:04.780 It's one to one when I left the game.

00:47:06.340 I will just do a live chat something.

00:47:08.960 How many of you guys think we should get a Patreon or something along those lines?

00:47:13.100 And I want to clarify, nothing would be paywalled.

00:47:15.640 We would figure out some sort of perks that would not be, like, paywalling the show.

00:47:19.900 So...

00:47:20.380 I think we should just charge $1,000 for our guest every week.

00:47:23.360 Yeah.

00:47:23.820 For real.

00:47:25.080 Unironically, I think you should have, like, a 50 or somewhere to 50 to 100 range of, like,

00:47:29.440 you can be the guest.

00:47:31.420 That would be pretty cool.

00:47:32.200 Yeah, why not? 0.99

00:47:33.340 I 100% know that, like, some fucking... 0.99

00:47:36.240 P-Nord will 100% give... 0.99

00:47:38.240 You're, like, give us his last $100.

00:47:40.260 Yeah, I'm good with it.

00:47:41.280 I don't care.

00:47:43.400 But here's the thing.

00:47:44.460 Here's the thing.

00:47:44.920 If it's $1,000, you're guaranteed to stay on.

00:47:47.480 If it's $100 and you come on and you say something we don't like, we just boot you.

00:47:51.400 Also, by the way, including this, you replace Toad, too.

00:47:54.240 Like, you come on and it's just Toad has to sit off.

00:47:57.720 And honestly, if you just want to pay us $100 for Toad to sit off an episode, we'll do that, too.

00:48:01.480 We can call it our polarity guest because it repels Toad.

00:48:07.040 So the guest is going to be a woman. 1.00

00:48:08.120 And this week's polarity guest.

00:48:12.040 We already got children offering to pay for our Patreon, so here we go.

00:48:15.800 Nice.

00:48:16.480 Thank you.

00:48:17.340 Thank you, Lorenzo.

00:48:17.800 David, Lorenzo, maybe we should put our...

00:48:20.560 Do our D&D that we're going to do behind the paywall.

00:48:23.300 I think that's what we should do.

00:48:24.240 Yeah.

00:48:24.600 Just, like, behind the Patreon.

00:48:26.020 And get nothing for it.

00:48:27.480 That's right.

00:48:28.780 Some dicking and docking, man.

00:48:31.200 Hell yeah, dude.

00:48:32.180 Yeah.

00:48:32.700 I mean, who cares? 0.97

00:48:33.620 I mean, if it's your dad's credit card, I don't give a shit as long as we get money. 0.98

00:48:36.560 That's right. 0.97

00:48:37.060 If it's your dad's credit card, send us as much as you can.

00:48:39.720 Oh, give us everything, dude.

00:48:41.120 I don't...

00:48:41.540 It's money from your family.

00:48:43.380 Money, the money we're using anyways doesn't even matter.

00:48:46.900 It's not even real.

00:48:47.880 Like, it's just theoretical.

00:48:48.700 It's just out there.

00:48:49.520 It's a social construct.

00:48:51.080 Yeah.

00:48:52.420 And tell your dad that after he gets a $1,000 credit card bill, you should be like, Dad,

00:48:57.080 I understand.

00:48:58.540 It's a tax write-off.

00:48:59.700 I'm giving to a charity. 1.00

00:49:00.640 These people are retarded, okay? 1.00

00:49:01.800 Lorenzo, I see you saying I'm not a child. 1.00

00:49:04.300 I think you're still a teenager. 0.99

00:49:05.520 I'm pretty sure I vaguely remember your fucking senior photos on Twitter. 0.99

00:49:11.060 So you're still a child. 0.99

00:49:12.520 I'm sorry.

00:49:12.920 He's like 21 or something.

00:49:14.500 All right.

00:49:14.700 If you're a 20, maybe I won't call you a child anymore.

00:49:17.360 I think he's like 18.

00:49:18.740 I think he recently got 52.

00:49:19.800 He might be like 19.

00:49:20.400 I think he lost virginity, I want to say. 0.64

00:49:23.160 Oh, yeah, dude.

00:49:24.020 Congrats.

00:49:24.820 Congrats, man.

00:49:25.320 That's a weird thing to know about one of our viewers.

00:49:29.280 I'm in a great chat with him.

00:49:30.440 I think he lost his virginity to me last weekend.

00:49:33.600 No, no.

00:49:34.020 It was to me, actually.

00:49:35.060 We lost ours at the same time.

00:49:35.620 I think we should shout out.

00:49:37.480 I honestly think we should shout out whenever our – if you're a fan of ours and if you're a virgin and you just lost virginity, just tell us and we'll shout you out on the show. 1.00

00:49:48.220 Oh, fuck it. 1.00

00:49:49.040 Yeah. 1.00

00:49:49.700 Because, I mean, it's a great accomplishment for some of our viewers.

00:49:53.540 It's called Beat Toad, actually.

00:49:55.340 Dude, you can't even smoke or drink alcohol legally.

00:49:58.040 You're not an adult.

00:49:58.860 I'm sorry.

00:49:59.880 Anyone who's a libertarian who gets laid deserves a claim.

00:50:03.600 Dude, props.

00:50:04.540 We will, absolutely.

00:50:05.820 Yeah.

00:50:06.100 I think I mentioned the show a while ago. 0.99

00:50:07.900 Even if you fucking do. 0.99

00:50:09.240 Someone posted some shit a while ago, like the liberty movement needs something, and I remember I posted unironically pussy, and I genuinely mean it. 1.00

00:50:17.440 Like that is really – more people in this movement need to get pussy. 0.99

00:50:21.080 That was why I posted – I was like there needs to be a podcast about literally just family and just like teaching some of these young fucking libertarians like, hey, by the way, this is how you get a girl. 0.99

00:50:31.300 This is how you like talk to a woman and just like how you found a fucking – well, you should be one, like how to get pussy, and then also how to get a spouse because those are two different things. 0.97

00:50:40.120 Those are not the same unless you're like Jose and me the mythical. 0.99

00:50:42.940 They're sort of the same.

00:50:44.240 Unless you mean a mythical.

00:50:45.620 Yeah, mean a mythical. 1.00

00:50:46.120 Hold that shit down. 1.00

00:50:47.700 Pump and dump dog. 1.00

00:50:48.980 Fucking keep that bitch on lock. 1.00

00:50:52.100 Even if she doesn't stay with you, she's going to see you regularly. 1.00

00:50:55.060 Just keep fucking until you find one that you can't imagine not fucking anymore. 1.00

00:50:58.620 If you lost your virginity, yeah, and pay us. 1.00

00:51:01.840 We'll shut you out, and we'll put you on the pussy pedestal. 1.00

00:51:03.220 That's why Clint's not married. 1.00

00:51:05.200 Every girl he fucked is forgettable. 1.00

00:51:06.680 It's like no one catches up to the mythical. 0.99

00:51:14.060 I was broken by the mythical.

00:51:15.920 I was like, look, you're great.

00:51:17.820 You're perfect in every way, but you're not the mythical.

00:51:21.080 Sorry.

00:51:23.780 Tyler says Cole wants to start the Andrew Taint podcast.

00:51:28.500 That's basically what you're describing.

00:51:30.200 Clint got the mythical once, and his naivety thought that this was –

00:51:34.340 I'm assuming this is when you were younger.

00:51:36.240 You just thought, oh, this must be more regular in the world than I thought it was.

00:51:39.160 I'm sure I'll find an attractive woman who has these same capabilities. 1.00

00:51:42.220 You're right.

00:51:42.660 I was like 32, and I was like this –

00:51:45.020 I mean, it's all uphill from here.

00:51:47.640 I finally – it's like I reached the next echelon.

00:51:49.940 This is like you go through.

00:51:51.360 It's supposed to be – because we think of our life as a video game,

00:51:55.600 where you reach different levels, and you're like, okay, I reached this level now.

00:51:58.860 Now everything after this level is just going to be better.

00:52:00.860 I am literally chasing the dragon of detail.

00:52:02.780 I love it how I said Clint got probably –

00:52:06.120 I love it how I said Clint probably had this as a young man and thought,

00:52:09.540 oh, there must be more like this and probably attractive ones.

00:52:12.360 And he said, yeah, oh, yeah, I'm 32.

00:52:14.080 You know, I'm 31.

00:52:14.780 I've been married for a decade.

00:52:17.580 It was an intentional joke, but no one laughed.

00:52:20.640 Okay, I get it now.

00:52:21.800 Yeah, like, all right, man.

00:52:23.060 You were very young.

00:52:23.900 I know what it's like, Clint.

00:52:27.400 Nobody laughing at your jokes, you know.

00:52:29.580 It's a little different.

00:52:31.540 It's a little different.

00:52:36.140 Oh, goodness gracious.

00:52:37.600 We're going to get Toad laid at some point.

00:52:39.060 It's going to be pretty awesome.

00:52:40.080 It'll be a contest for the show, actually.

00:52:42.720 As soon as Toad gets laid, this show is over.

00:52:45.540 Oh, yeah, we're done.

00:52:47.100 Oh, we're done.

00:52:47.720 He puts so much work into the show, more than, like, any of us do. 1.00

00:52:50.660 But once he gets pussy, it's all done. 1.00

00:52:52.420 Like, he will no longer, like, he will get fired from his job. 0.99

00:52:56.440 He will have no production.

00:52:57.780 We'll have nothing. 1.00

00:52:58.420 We'll have nothing if Toad gets pussy. 1.00

00:52:59.740 It's over. 1.00

00:52:59.880 Yeah, Tenzo, say the fuck out of his DMs, all right? 1.00

00:53:02.980 Well, it'll be like that Seinfeld, you know, where George, like, just becomes retarded again 1.00

00:53:08.320 when he gets pussy again. 1.00

00:53:09.180 You know what I'm talking about? 1.00

00:53:10.340 You're just George without pussy. 1.00

00:53:11.900 It's just been your whole life. 1.00

00:53:12.880 You just don't understand what it's like when you do get pussy, and then all of a sudden you're 1.00

00:53:16.880 retarded. 1.00

00:53:17.500 Like, you just become the ape again. 0.77

00:53:18.160 New show title idea. 1.00

00:53:19.560 Pussies, George. 0.95

00:53:20.260 We're throwing out the title options here. 0.97

00:53:25.780 I do love the thought that Toad's just been, he's just on a different plane because he's

00:53:29.500 just, I mean, just, and it could be all in some.

00:53:32.060 I didn't even see that Tyler said the same thing.

00:53:36.340 Crazy.

00:53:37.580 It's amazing. 1.00

00:53:38.320 Toad, didn't you have some sort of fucking, like, show bit or some shit? 1.00

00:53:41.840 Oh, yeah. 1.00

00:53:42.220 Did you have a story you wanted to tell us, or was it just when you shit, when you were 0.99

00:53:44.980 standing up? 1.00

00:53:45.200 Oh, shit, dude. 1.00

00:53:45.640 Yeah, that was the shit. 1.00

00:53:46.820 That was the shit. 1.00

00:53:46.840 That was the fuck, dog. 1.00

00:53:47.780 Told you you can do no better. 1.00

00:53:51.820 Take it right now.

00:53:52.620 Oh, I didn't want to mention this.

00:53:54.160 I was telling you, pump and dump, pump and dump, pump and dump.

00:53:56.640 I did, I did have a good, like, because we are, we dabble in some conspiracy theories 0.98

00:54:02.760 and I missed last week's show because I was fucking sick. 0.92

00:54:05.460 I think I had COVID again, unfortunately. 0.99

00:54:07.840 You can't have COVID if you don't get tested.

00:54:09.180 You're good.

00:54:10.580 But, I mean, I work from home anyway.

00:54:12.180 You can't have COVID twice. 0.96

00:54:12.880 That's a fucking, no, yeah, I think I actually did get COVID again because, but it was so 0.98

00:54:17.280 fucking, like, it was just, like, one day that I felt, like, really terrible and then 0.99

00:54:20.420 after that, it was totally fine. 0.99

00:54:22.280 But, before that, I was going to, I mentioned, I told, like, the story, but my, my aunt and

00:54:26.920 uncle, who live in Virginia, were here and, and they were telling me, like, they just randomly

00:54:32.300 went, oh, we have a story for you.

00:54:34.260 And they were just went off because they didn't know I was in a conspiracy.

00:54:36.340 They don't know.

00:54:36.640 They just were, like, oh, yeah, this happened to us. 0.99

00:54:40.000 So, they said, they lived in, like, they live in, like, the boonies of fucking Virginia. 0.98

00:54:44.360 They live out in the middle of nowhere. 0.94

00:54:46.300 And, so, they said one night, they were just, like, on their porch, just looking up in the, 0.97

00:54:50.900 like, they were just looking out and they saw, like, these fucking, like, green, red, and, 0.86

00:54:55.380 like, I think, blue, like, lights. 0.97

00:54:57.640 And they were just kind of fucking in the sky, just kind of trolling around.

00:55:00.640 And then they would, like, interact with each other. 0.97

00:55:02.920 And so, they're doing all that.

00:55:04.060 And they, for, like, they sat there and watched for, like, 20 minutes.

00:55:06.880 And they used, like, binoculars.

00:55:07.980 They were watching them.

00:55:08.900 And then my uncle said, oh, by the way, I'm going to go and put out some feed for the deer.

00:55:14.180 I'll be back.

00:55:15.000 And so, he left.

00:55:16.340 And my aunt was still there watching.

00:55:18.160 And she said, then, all of a sudden, she kind of saw one of them kind of get closer.

00:55:22.180 And it kept getting closer.

00:55:23.300 And then she looked up and it was above her. 0.98

00:55:25.520 And she said, what it was, was, like, a fucking 50-yard by 50-yard by 50-yard triangle. 0.98

00:55:31.540 Yeah. 1.00

00:55:31.780 Completely black. 0.96

00:55:33.280 And on the edges was the green and blue lights.

00:55:37.320 And it was going overhead, like, above the tree line, like, about 30 yards above the tree line, just going above her.

00:55:44.800 And it was, like, right in the center was, like, a bright light, like, right in the middle.

00:55:48.300 And it said it was just, it, like, went right above her.

00:55:51.580 And then they have a...

00:55:53.820 Did you...

00:55:54.380 Hold on. 1.00

00:55:54.780 I'm telling the fucking story. 1.00

00:55:56.120 And then there was... 1.00

00:55:57.280 That was a nice question.

00:55:58.220 There was a electrical easement, which, so, like, the power lines was going down the easement.

00:56:02.040 So, it was all cleared out.

00:56:03.060 And she said it was going down the easement and, like, following it all the way down towards where my uncle was.

00:56:10.600 And so, my uncle's down there.

00:56:11.680 And so, he was, like, okay, then here's my part.

00:56:13.860 He said I was just putting down the feed.

00:56:16.180 And then I started to hear, like, this, like...

00:56:18.280 They basically said it sounded like a quiet whoosh.

00:56:21.720 Kind of, like, a whoosh.

00:56:23.960 Like, that's what it sounded like.

00:56:25.560 And he said he saw it come above him.

00:56:28.680 And he said he was kind of freaked out.

00:56:30.060 And it just kept going.

00:56:31.360 And they live in a valley.

00:56:32.760 And it just went...

00:56:33.900 Started going back up the hill, the other side.

00:56:36.340 And it just kept going.

00:56:37.660 He said it was slow.

00:56:38.520 He said he could walk faster than it was moving.

00:56:40.760 But it was just going... 1.00

00:56:41.860 And it went right up the hill and right over the fucking hill. 0.99

00:56:43.920 And he said... 0.99

00:56:44.340 And he was just, like...

00:56:45.740 We looked it up. 0.99

00:56:46.540 It happens all the fucking time, apparently. 0.99

00:56:49.180 It does, yeah. 0.99

00:56:49.940 There was...

00:56:50.420 I looked it up.

00:56:51.160 There was an article on, like, CBS or something like that from, like, 2004.

00:56:56.220 And they said, like...

00:56:56.900 They see it all the time. 0.99

00:56:58.300 And no one just fucking... 1.00

00:56:59.720 This fucking happens. 1.00

00:57:00.980 And my parents... 1.00

00:57:01.160 Must live in a way long. 1.00

00:57:02.380 The fucking thing with my parents were like, oh, it was just a drone. 0.99

00:57:05.860 I'm like, it's a... 0.99

00:57:06.840 It's 150.

00:57:08.360 There's no 60-foot drones.

00:57:10.860 Yeah, it was...

00:57:11.720 60 yards, I thought he said.

00:57:13.140 No, it was 50 yards on each side.

00:57:15.020 It was a triangle.

00:57:16.080 And it was completely almost quiet except for a little whoosh.

00:57:19.240 And it moved very slow. 0.99

00:57:20.340 I was like, that's not a fucking drone. 0.96

00:57:21.900 Yeah, they're telling you that alien spacecraft honor government regulations like easements? 0.98

00:57:26.840 That's very disappointing.

00:57:27.800 Dude, that's like...

00:57:28.700 I would hope they'd be more.

00:57:31.000 But I just...

00:57:31.740 And they were just like...

00:57:32.440 They just mentioned this.

00:57:33.120 And they were like, no, it 100% happened.

00:57:34.500 We were right there.

00:57:35.220 We saw it happen.

00:57:36.280 Like, right above us.

00:57:37.960 And... 0.99

00:57:38.360 This shit's happening all slow. 1.00

00:57:39.300 They don't have a motherfucking video of it, Cole? 1.00

00:57:41.120 Yeah. 0.99

00:57:42.100 Video pictures?

00:57:43.020 Yeah.

00:57:43.280 Dude, this is like...

00:57:43.920 It's very similar to like the Phoenix Lights, which I sent you because that's like one of

00:57:47.820 the most well-known.

00:57:48.740 It's like a lot of these stories, it's a triangular craft that they see, yeah, moving through

00:57:54.680 the sky at like a pretty low altitude.

00:57:59.100 Slowly.

00:57:59.500 Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep.

00:58:00.860 Breaking news.

00:58:01.600 Breaking news.

00:58:02.320 Southern racist family has seen alien spacecraft.

00:58:07.380 New story at 11. 1.00

00:58:08.740 This is not fucking news, Cole. 1.00

00:58:10.620 Every Southern racist family. 0.99

00:58:11.680 But did she have missing time, though?

00:58:14.000 Which means that she might have been abducted.

00:58:16.080 Oh, who knows?

00:58:16.680 Well, that's actually...

00:58:17.320 She said...

00:58:17.780 That was actually...

00:58:18.880 Before he left, my uncle was like, oh, by the way, if I get abducted, I love you.

00:58:25.300 And that's what he said before he left, and then he left, and then they saw him come

00:58:29.600 over, and he was like, I was actually pretty scared for a little bit there, because it was

00:58:34.320 just above me.

00:58:36.180 I thought that was very weird, and when I looked it up and I saw that it was actually all 0.90

00:58:39.780 over the country, I was like, okay, well, this is fucking weird.

00:58:42.820 Dude, I watched Fire in the Sky when I was a kid, and I lost months of sleep over that 0.95

00:58:48.560 movie.

00:58:48.840 What's that?

00:58:49.640 I haven't seen that movie.

00:58:50.420 Okay.

00:58:50.600 Oh, it's...

00:58:51.400 I think it's probably the best alien, like, abduction...

00:58:55.000 It's dramatized, but it's based off of a true story.

00:58:57.460 Guy wrote a book.

00:58:58.300 He was actually on Joe Rogan Experience a couple years ago, and his retelling of it sounds completely

00:59:04.240 legitimate.

00:59:04.640 He was actually abducted, he has, you know, he actually has memory of the experimentation

00:59:09.680 that happened on the ship, he was gone for, like, I don't know if it was, like, three

00:59:13.400 or four days, or a full week, and then he just walks out of the woods, and everyone's 0.98

00:59:17.020 like, where the fuck have you been? 0.92

00:59:18.500 And he's like, I was in a spaceship. 1.00

00:59:22.100 Crazy.

00:59:23.500 Oh, God, I would...

00:59:24.920 Jesus.

00:59:25.780 Fire in the Sky is a great movie.

00:59:27.260 It honestly...

00:59:27.640 No, I can't watch it.

00:59:28.820 I literally would...

00:59:29.540 I would literally just be...

00:59:30.420 I could not...

00:59:30.820 It may not hold up, because I haven't seen it since I was a kid, but, like, based off of my recollection,

00:59:34.660 it was a fantastic movie.

00:59:35.960 Oh, yeah.

00:59:37.800 Close Encounters, I think, of the third or fourth kind is a pretty good one, too.

00:59:41.200 Or...

00:59:41.480 The third kind.

00:59:42.260 The third kind, yeah.

00:59:44.040 The fourth kind, I believe, is when they... 1.00

00:59:46.340 Is when a dude fucks you and you don't fuck you. 1.00

00:59:48.340 Yeah, the fourth kind is definitely when they anally probe you. 1.00

00:59:51.500 Wait, which is the one with Mia Jokovic?

00:59:53.880 Maybe I said it wrong.

00:59:55.000 I think I may be confused.

00:59:56.060 There's one with Mia Jokovic, where it's, like, this weird thing in Alaska where...

00:59:59.380 Mila Jovovich?

01:00:00.580 That's, uh... 1.00

01:00:01.200 Fuck, I can't remember the name. 0.99

01:00:02.080 Yeah, there's some... 1.00

01:00:02.620 No, no, there's, like, an alien with Mia Jokovic, where she, uh... 1.00

01:00:06.400 Yeah.

01:00:07.280 Which is a really good one, where she... 1.00

01:00:08.660 It's, like, supposedly based on a true story, where she had, like, aliens fucking with her. 0.97

01:00:13.000 I guess she was, like... 0.95

01:00:13.740 That one is called The Fourth Kind.

01:00:15.820 Oh, The Fourth Kind. 0.94

01:00:16.700 That's where I fucked up. 0.93

01:00:17.620 Yeah. 0.93

01:00:17.960 Yeah.

01:00:18.180 It was a really good one.

01:00:19.560 Yeah.

01:00:19.760 Have any of you watched Dark on Netflix?

01:00:21.700 Yeah. 0.98

01:00:22.280 Only the first season, but it's really fucking good. 0.98

01:00:24.860 All right, good. 0.99

01:00:25.440 Keep going. 0.98

01:00:25.960 It's fucking one of my favorite shows ever. 0.95

01:00:27.140 But, yeah, I mean, I have a prediction that I think is going to be correct about, uh... 0.97

01:00:31.460 Yeah.

01:00:31.740 Well, I won't say too much about it, but I think I'm going to be correct about, like, the main

01:00:34.820 twist that's going to happen in the second season.

01:00:37.240 But, yeah.

01:00:37.280 I honestly had no idea that, like, Germans could make good TV. 1.00

01:00:41.100 Oh, I think I've heard about that.

01:00:42.620 I think I've heard about that.

01:00:43.560 Yeah, they produced the Holocaust, so that was good. 1.00

01:00:45.420 I think it's...

01:00:46.140 Is it German?

01:00:47.860 Fair point.

01:00:48.160 Or is it, uh...

01:00:49.000 It's Austrian, maybe?

01:00:50.140 I can't remember, but...

01:00:51.260 I don't know.

01:00:52.160 Yeah, whatever it is.

01:00:52.900 Hey...

01:00:53.400 It's a really good show, yeah.

01:00:54.400 Tyler mentioned The Fifth Element.

01:00:55.780 Good movie.

01:00:56.540 Yes. 1.00

01:00:56.720 Good fucking movie. 1.00

01:00:57.680 All right. 1.00

01:00:58.300 Toad, you... 1.00

01:00:59.100 Wait, what was that fucking... 1.00

01:01:00.300 We're at an hour. 1.00

01:01:01.040 What was that fucking bit you want to do, or whatever the fuck? 1.00

01:01:03.560 Um... 1.00

01:01:03.760 You got some videos you want to show us, or some shit? 0.97

01:01:05.400 I got a couple... 0.97

01:01:06.340 Yeah, I got a few videos.

01:01:07.460 Pig or Nick, dude?

01:01:08.760 Pig or Nick. 0.95

01:01:09.280 I forget the whole concept of this. 0.99

01:01:11.980 So, we're going to watch some videos that involve a cop versus a black person, and you're 0.64

01:01:17.880 going to comment on it.

01:01:20.840 Okay.

01:01:21.760 I'm ready.

01:01:22.900 Yeah.

01:01:23.200 When I heard him say this, I was legitimately going to go, are we going to see, like, hear

01:01:28.140 or hear domestic abuse stories, or, like, domestic violence, or see their, like, the victims, 0.77

01:01:33.760 and be like, was it a cop, or was it a black guy that beat up this woman? 0.97

01:01:37.260 That's what I wanted. 0.99

01:01:38.280 I know, right? 0.99

01:01:39.860 If it's a fat white chick, I would guess black dude every time. 1.00

01:01:42.900 Yeah. 0.99

01:01:43.220 So, actually, let me...

01:01:45.400 I don't know.

01:01:45.740 Those are the ones that give the mythicals, so the black dude's got to know what's up. 0.99

01:01:48.780 Hold on.

01:01:49.620 You're totally right. 1.00

01:01:50.620 But, also, aren't a lot of cop's wives, like, super fucking, like, fat? 1.00

01:01:55.240 I feel like cop's wives are fat. 1.00

01:01:56.460 I don't know. 0.98

01:01:57.480 I don't know.

01:01:57.940 Because I'm going to drop the image of this.

01:01:59.920 I feel like the cop's wives were, like, the head cheerleaders in high school, and they 0.99

01:02:04.380 fucking... 1.00

01:02:05.480 They got married, like, right out of high school, and now hate each other. 1.00

01:02:08.000 Because I always thought that the cops were the guys that got bullied in high school, and

01:02:12.260 then, like, and so they really...

01:02:14.720 All right, that's pretty good.

01:02:17.200 I feel like, no, I feel like they were, like, the head quarterback that got out of high school.

01:02:21.440 No, no, no, no.

01:02:21.940 They were not the quarterback.

01:02:23.660 100% they were not the quarterback.

01:02:24.840 The quarterback is way better than...

01:02:26.120 They were, like, the linebacker.

01:02:28.980 That's what...

01:02:29.360 Okay, all right.

01:02:29.940 They were, like, the linebacker.

01:02:30.600 I don't know. 0.99

01:02:31.440 The head quarterback always ends up owning a fucking car dealership in town. 0.99

01:02:34.400 Where I come from in the country, it was, like... 1.00

01:02:37.240 It seemed like every fucking quarterback ended up being, like, not shit when they got 1.00

01:02:40.600 older. 1.00

01:02:41.280 They, like, their best days were in high school, so...

01:02:43.380 Yeah.

01:02:44.780 Yeah, but they weren't cops.

01:02:45.980 That's the whole point.

01:02:46.680 The best day was in high school, but they weren't cops.

01:02:48.360 They were just, like...

01:02:48.660 Makes sense for me.

01:02:51.840 We're ready when you are, Toad.

01:02:53.140 All right, yeah.

01:02:54.960 Let's do it.

01:02:56.140 These videos, yeah, hopefully I'm, yeah, choosing well here.

01:02:58.960 We'll see, but it's up to us, really, right?

01:03:01.700 All right, so first video is going to be this one.

01:03:04.400 Right here, which is only a few minutes. 0.99

01:03:12.540 This is so fucked up. 1.00

01:03:19.400 He has some fucking... 1.00

01:03:20.980 Look at his wallet. 1.00

01:03:22.100 It is full of receipts.

01:03:30.860 Do we think he's actually a paraplegic, though?

01:03:33.260 Or is he lying? 1.00

01:03:35.200 He's fucking driving. 1.00

01:03:36.320 He's not a paraplegic. 1.00

01:03:38.520 What are you...

01:03:39.460 Because your history, the history of black people. 0.97

01:03:46.400 And why did he pull him over? 0.99

01:04:04.900 DWB, dog.

01:04:06.020 DWB, dog.

01:04:07.240 There's another cop coming up.

01:04:09.020 Well, that happens all the time anyway.

01:04:11.240 They literally just...

01:04:12.240 He's got that fit, though.

01:04:15.720 Look at that. 1.00

01:04:16.340 He is fucking... 1.00

01:04:17.240 He's not a liar. 1.00

01:04:18.320 I cannot step out of the position. 0.99

01:04:20.740 It'd be awesome if he's a paraplegic because a cop shot him. 1.00

01:04:23.440 He's coming down the street. 0.89

01:04:25.740 It's happening before, man.

01:04:27.400 It's happening before. 0.99

01:04:28.840 He's like, we ain't doing this shit again. 0.98

01:04:30.320 He's coming over and they're trying to make me get out of the car. 0.99

01:04:32.360 And I'm telling you, I can't get out of the car without no help and shit. 0.96

01:04:36.020 What's going on? 0.98

01:04:37.240 I'm going to get out of the car.

01:04:38.400 How is he driving by himself?

01:04:40.240 I'm just told you, I'm paraplegic.

01:04:40.900 I cannot get out.

01:04:42.380 And apparently, he's bringing...

01:04:43.420 He's got an Audi.

01:04:44.300 Like, he's...

01:04:45.120 And he's got...

01:04:45.560 Look at that. 1.00

01:04:55.260 Motherfucker's moving his legs, fucking liar. 1.00

01:04:58.500 I know, right? 1.00

01:05:00.220 That's the strength of a black man.

01:05:02.520 That, like... 0.70

01:05:03.320 Oh, my God.

01:05:05.220 By his dreads.

01:05:06.960 I know.

01:05:07.400 Somebody help! 0.98

01:05:08.540 Somebody help! 0.98

01:05:09.720 Right here.

01:05:10.200 Somebody help! 1.00

01:05:12.020 I'm looking at his dick. 1.00

01:05:13.080 Oh, they grabbed his dick! 1.00

01:05:14.140 Did you see that? 1.00

01:05:14.740 They touched the dick. 1.00

01:05:16.160 They should have, like... 1.00

01:05:17.420 Somebody help! 1.00

01:05:19.340 I'm going to grab his dick, dude. 1.00

01:05:21.520 He is packing 100%. 1.00

01:05:22.820 He has some balls, too. 0.99

01:05:24.820 That was big. 1.00

01:05:26.340 Big old dick and can't use it? 1.00

01:05:32.800 Stop! 1.00

01:05:33.640 That's fine.

01:05:34.280 I gave out everything to ask for.

01:05:36.320 Stop.

01:05:36.700 Cooperate.

01:05:37.100 Nothing for real.

01:05:38.560 Real police, please!

01:05:39.940 They are called a real police, please!

01:05:46.280 Oh, he's got jokes.

01:05:47.480 I love it.

01:05:50.200 Oh, my God.

01:05:51.300 Oh, I thought they were about to go into the George Floyd kneeling on his neck.

01:05:54.880 I really thought he was about to go into that.

01:05:55.960 No, no, no. 0.99

01:05:57.620 I mean, that is definitely the most fucked up part about cops is, like, if you have a corrupt 1.00

01:06:01.440 cop, you're stuck. 0.99

01:06:02.860 Like, it's the same with the FBI. 0.74

01:06:04.320 Like, that's the whole problem with the FBI being so corrupt.

01:06:08.040 Put that in there.

01:06:08.980 That's fine.

01:06:16.580 That is the move, though, if you get, like, pulled over by the cops.

01:06:20.080 It's obviously not the move.

01:06:23.580 They just have to pick you up. 1.00

01:06:24.840 That shit did not work, Cole. 1.00

01:06:26.300 I don't know if you just watched the video, but that's the move. 1.00

01:06:29.460 Just go limp.

01:06:30.300 I told you.

01:06:30.660 It's not an option.

01:06:31.900 It's not an option.

01:06:36.240 Man, he made his decision.

01:06:38.540 Man, he made his decision.

01:06:41.100 I can't believe he didn't start shooting at the woman.

01:06:42.880 Just turns around.

01:06:43.620 Bop, bop, bop.

01:06:45.100 I know, right? 0.99

01:06:45.960 I mean, yeah, he is black, so. 0.50

01:06:47.960 I'm going to decide on the Nick this time, because, I mean, that was just 100%. 1.00

01:06:51.780 I mean, it's hard to go, like, with the cops, anyway, because we fucking hate them. 0.98

01:06:57.700 But that was just, like. 0.92

01:06:58.360 Do you have an expert here?

01:06:59.740 Nothing?

01:07:00.160 I do not, unfortunately.

01:07:01.980 Oh, Jesus.

01:07:03.220 Let me see.

01:07:05.200 Yeah, it just seemed like they just kind of pulled this guy over.

01:07:07.480 I mean, he seemed like, because he was driving an Audi, he wasn't like, he looked like he 0.96

01:07:11.360 had a nice, like, fucking, his outfit was nice. 0.99

01:07:14.960 He looked like a drug dealer. 0.99

01:07:15.860 He had a fat wallet, but it was full of receipts. 0.85

01:07:19.240 He had a George Costanza wallet.

01:07:20.560 He was pulled over for being seen leaving a suspected drug house that was being monitored.

01:07:29.680 That makes sense.

01:07:30.420 How did he get in and out of the drug house, given that he's a paraplegic vehicle?

01:07:35.380 Well, the weed is for his, it's for his hurt.

01:07:39.700 Like, that's what it is.

01:07:40.620 It's hurt.

01:07:41.320 It's medical.

01:07:41.860 It's medical weed.

01:07:43.060 It's medical weed. 1.00

01:07:43.680 It's got that good shit that makes him walk. 1.00

01:07:45.860 Yeah. 1.00

01:07:48.680 The weed is for his hurt.

01:07:51.660 That's right.

01:07:54.120 If I was Eric Gray, just shut off mid-sentence.

01:07:56.880 Jose, tell us. 1.00

01:07:58.080 Pick your neck. 0.99

01:08:00.200 That's a hard one, man.

01:08:01.620 I don't know.

01:08:02.120 I saw him moving his legs. 1.00

01:08:03.280 I kind of feel like he's full of shit. 1.00

01:08:04.800 I got to go with that. 1.00

01:08:05.600 He probably lied about being a paraplegic, but there was no reason for them to fucking do that to him. 0.99

01:08:12.280 It was so fucking... 0.99

01:08:13.460 He didn't have... 0.99

01:08:14.240 He gave him...

01:08:16.320 He was going to give him the wallet, and then he was just like, what else do you want?

01:08:20.280 And they were just like, get out of the car. 0.99

01:08:21.600 He's like, fucking why? 0.99

01:08:22.720 He's like, I'm going to bring the dog around to search your car. 0.99

01:08:24.820 And he's like, well, I can't get out. 0.99

01:08:26.040 I'm paraplegic, which is obviously bullshit. 0.99

01:08:27.520 You can still get out of your paraplegic. 0.99

01:08:28.840 It's like, I've been in my car for 24 years. 0.99

01:08:31.600 Oh, you want me to get the fuck out of this car? 0.98

01:08:33.560 I got Audi. 0.98

01:08:35.040 Lombardi was great.

01:08:37.040 I'm still siding with the nigg on this, by the way. 1.00

01:08:40.260 I don't know, man.

01:08:41.340 I really feel like...

01:08:42.040 My line with the cops is based, anyway. 0.99

01:08:43.480 One of you guys said some shit like they saw him coming out of a drug house, and they seemed way too certain that he could get up. 0.98

01:08:50.060 Like, it seemed weird. 0.99

01:08:51.480 Like, all right, don't get me wrong. 1.00

01:08:52.420 I fucking hate cops. 0.99

01:08:53.620 But it's like way too hard to believe they'd be like, hey, I'm a paraplegic. 1.00

01:08:56.960 And they'd just be like, nah, fuck you. 1.00

01:08:58.560 And like, they wouldn't... 1.00

01:09:00.760 Like, they'd be that certain that he's not.

01:09:03.260 And just be like...

01:09:03.740 Oh, yes.

01:09:04.020 Can we...

01:09:04.740 Tyler mentioned this.

01:09:05.600 Can we mention that he said, call the real police? 0.97

01:09:08.000 That is so fucking funny. 0.97

01:09:09.820 I know. 0.98

01:09:10.540 Yeah, that's the best part of it.

01:09:11.780 To be getting arrested and be like, now call the real ones.

01:09:14.200 Come on.

01:09:14.480 Also, I feel like paraplegics when you see...

01:09:18.840 I mean, I don't know how it works exactly, but you always see when they... 0.99

01:09:22.100 They always have specially, like, special-made cars for that shit. 0.99

01:09:26.300 Or they'll have, like, their fucking, like, wheelchair in the back. 0.99

01:09:29.260 Because they do have to get in and out of that subway by their stuff. 0.97

01:09:31.660 What I'm saying, though, Jose, because it was an Audi, you're not going to see those specially-made cars.

01:09:35.600 Like, out of a Hyundai.

01:09:36.880 Okay?

01:09:37.340 Like, it's going to be an Audi, a Mercedes that has, like, those nice ones.

01:09:40.780 That's going to be, like, those... 0.97

01:09:41.640 I didn't see a fucking wheelchair or anything. 0.98

01:09:44.000 Yeah, wouldn't he have a wheelchair? 0.99

01:09:44.840 Yeah, but it'd be in the back.

01:09:45.480 Wheelchair ramp and... 0.96

01:09:46.980 How the fuck would he get it? 0.99

01:09:48.440 How the fuck would he get it? 0.99

01:09:49.800 He has to have help everywhere he goes. 0.99

01:09:51.780 Like, you think he'd have some sort of setup to where it's, like, somehow within arm's reach or some shit that he can do. 1.00

01:09:56.980 He uses his dick like a tripod. 1.00

01:09:59.040 He just fucking... 1.00

01:09:59.800 It's a kickstand. 0.99

01:10:01.000 He just kind of falls over, and then he fucking just... 0.98

01:10:03.940 Well, I don't know. 1.00

01:10:05.100 Anytime I see a cop and a black man interact and the black guy ends up alive at the end, I'm going to go pig. 1.00

01:10:09.880 I knew it. 1.00

01:10:12.580 Use child restraint.

01:10:13.860 You did it.

01:10:14.300 I knew I was going to do that.

01:10:15.500 You're a very patient and honorable man. 0.98

01:10:18.040 I got to go with the pigs here. 0.91

01:10:19.460 It seemed way too certain that he could get out, even if he said... 0.92

01:10:22.620 We tied a two and two. 1.00

01:10:23.520 And if they saw him coming out of somebody, they probably literally saw him walking out of that motherfucker, and they're like, dude, fuck you. 1.00

01:10:29.720 Get out of the car. 1.00

01:10:30.960 By the way, if a black guy is a paraplegic, that means he has a fifth limb that doesn't work as well as Cole was alluding to, so that kind of sucks for him. 0.98

01:10:39.880 You know, it can still get hard. 0.98

01:10:42.040 I mean...

01:10:43.040 And actually, flaccid is probably still pretty good.

01:10:45.320 I mean, I could probably...

01:10:46.920 I mean...

01:10:47.380 All right.

01:10:47.960 All right.

01:10:49.920 We want to look at this side.

01:10:51.060 He'll probably still gag me.

01:10:52.000 I'll tell you that.

01:10:53.040 And that was in Dayton, Ohio, by the way.

01:10:56.000 This next video I have is from Florida somewhere.

01:10:58.940 I don't know where...

01:10:59.620 By the way, Toad, before you show...

01:11:01.040 Do you have the one where the recent one where the guy shot at the guy eating the burger?

01:11:05.240 I don't know if you...

01:11:05.680 Did you have that one in there?

01:11:06.880 I do not have that one. 0.99

01:11:07.880 That one was fucked, by the way. 0.99

01:11:09.180 Yeah, that one... 1.00

01:11:10.100 He was black. 0.97

01:11:10.940 That guy was black. 0.97

01:11:11.760 No, I know. 0.90

01:11:12.340 He was Hispanic. 1.00

01:11:13.600 Or Hispanic or some shit. 1.00

01:11:14.800 Oh, close enough. 1.00

01:11:15.760 Yeah.

01:11:15.980 I mean, come on. 0.99

01:11:17.020 I'm going with the pig on that one. 0.97

01:11:19.080 I mean, you don't just go get a cheeseburger and expect to walk away alive. 0.98

01:11:24.200 Oh, my God.

01:11:26.400 That one was... 1.00

01:11:27.260 Also, the fucking pig on that one, though, he did have some terrible aim. 1.00

01:11:31.020 Like, I think he only hit him, like, once or twice. 1.00

01:11:33.320 He just lit up his fucking driver's side door. 0.99

01:11:35.580 Listen, man. 1.00

01:11:36.020 Listen, man.

01:11:37.700 If the guy is eating a cheeseburger, he obviously has the munchies. 0.99

01:11:41.620 That's the other reason I'm siding with the pig. 0.96

01:11:44.820 I mean, if you're going to let off six shots and you only hit him once, that's restraint. 0.98

01:11:49.180 That shows...

01:11:49.780 That shows that you care about the public.

01:11:53.340 Yeah, they're all warning shots, man.

01:11:54.500 What are you talking about?

01:11:55.400 It's about protecting and serving.

01:11:57.640 Was the cop actually fired in that one?

01:11:59.360 I saw that.

01:12:00.280 I didn't see that he was fired.

01:12:01.560 Okay.

01:12:01.820 That's awesome.

01:12:02.320 He was only in the force for, like, seven months, I saw.

01:12:07.860 So, like, he was a new one.

01:12:09.060 So, they were fine to cut the losses. 1.00

01:12:10.440 Well, fuck him. 1.00

01:12:11.860 In this next one... 1.00

01:12:13.340 When I start and enter Kucapistan, I'm going to fucking hire that cop. 0.99

01:12:17.600 This next one, we might only need the first, like, few minutes. 0.99

01:12:20.500 Papa gives his stamp of approval.

01:12:23.660 This next one is somewhere in Florida, by the way.

01:12:26.420 And the backstory here is that the cops were called in because this woman, at least according

01:12:31.300 to the store owner or whatever, from the store that she was...

01:12:35.060 What's a black woman? 1.00

01:12:36.000 I'm already going pig. 1.00

01:12:36.980 It's a black woman. 0.99

01:12:38.040 And the store called the cops to report that she was shoplifting. 0.99

01:12:43.280 I like my cops have quick triggers and bad aim.

01:12:46.660 Let's just say, if I was a jury member, they would definitely kick me off for being, like,

01:12:52.020 biased because I'm already in this one. 1.00

01:12:54.800 You're shoplifting, black woman. 1.00

01:12:56.960 In a convenience store. 0.99

01:12:58.280 I hope this ends with the George Floyd video. 0.98

01:13:00.460 Or to be clear, if it's an overweight black woman. 1.00

01:13:03.140 Yes, it's clearly an overweight black woman. 1.00

01:13:05.480 Oh, he's using a taser? 1.00

01:13:06.880 I'm on the pig's side.

01:13:07.800 Like, he's not even shooting this. 1.00

01:13:09.060 It is not your ass. 1.00

01:13:09.800 That's what you call restraint. 1.00

01:13:11.920 Do you want to sit in my car?

01:13:13.100 No, I don't want to sit in your car.

01:13:14.540 And I'm not sitting in your car. 1.00

01:13:15.480 The sir has to kiss my ass. 1.00

01:13:19.560 I'm already heavily biased towards pigs. 1.00

01:13:21.880 Show me your receipt. 0.93

01:13:22.700 I won't.

01:13:23.380 If you took it without paying for it.

01:13:26.760 I don't steal.

01:13:27.680 I don't steal.

01:13:28.820 I do not steal.

01:13:29.860 All they want to do is not have you here.

01:13:31.860 Is she blind? 0.81

01:13:33.480 I won't do that.

01:13:36.140 I think she's refusing to look the officer in the face.

01:13:38.740 She's autistic, okay? 1.00

01:13:40.180 Do you realize you can go to jail for that?

01:13:41.800 Oh, I realize if I stole it, but I don't steal.

01:13:43.960 You're not cooperating.

01:13:45.060 I'm not cooperating.

01:13:45.860 That's a good argument.

01:13:46.380 So, yeah, I'm not.

01:13:48.760 Go watch the camera first.

01:13:49.960 Ma'am.

01:13:50.260 I'll walk back in there with you and go watch the camera.

01:13:52.540 No, I'm upset because I see this every day.

01:13:54.420 I don't have access to the camera.

01:13:56.560 So, how are they going to say I stole it if they didn't see me steal?

01:13:59.140 Ma'am, what is your name?

01:14:02.120 Look at my brother.

01:14:03.760 I see this every day.

01:14:05.840 Listen to me.

01:14:06.580 Every day.

01:14:07.100 Do you think I want any trouble right now?

01:14:09.600 But do you know how many people don't walk in that stuff?

01:14:11.340 Why are you out here bothering me?

01:14:12.760 That's very reasonable.

01:14:13.760 Ma'am, they simply asked if you had a receipt.

01:14:18.200 They didn't see you go through a register. 0.99

01:14:19.560 The cop sounds gay, by the way. 0.95

01:14:21.200 Ask the people if they see me. 0.96

01:14:23.060 Ma'am.

01:14:23.580 Let's come on.

01:14:24.180 Let's walk back in there.

01:14:24.880 Where's your receipt?

01:14:26.180 I believe it.

01:14:27.120 Bring your receipt.

01:14:27.820 Let's walk back in there.

01:14:28.500 Do you have your receipt?

01:14:29.280 She seems entirely too confident that she's innocent.

01:14:32.400 I'm not letting you go back in the store.

01:14:34.620 Is that your receipt from today?

01:14:35.980 Confidence is one of those things.

01:14:37.160 But I'm not showing because I ain't got no reason.

01:14:38.320 Y'all don't can't make me show nothing.

01:14:40.520 I can.

01:14:41.520 No, you can't.

01:14:41.860 Actually, I can.

01:14:42.800 And you're not giving me your ID.

01:14:44.760 So I can't prove that you didn't take anything.

01:14:47.100 So I don't know.

01:14:49.220 Why are we arguing about this? 1.00

01:14:50.980 Does your hat say kiss my ass? 1.00

01:14:53.200 That's what I'm saying. 1.00

01:14:54.020 I think it says.

01:14:54.760 Because it says Jesus on the back. 1.00

01:14:56.400 I want to say it says kiss my ass. 1.00

01:14:58.160 Amen. 1.00

01:14:58.960 I thought it was a Lakers hat for the longest time.

01:15:02.340 I see y'all up here every day. 1.00

01:15:03.820 I think it says kiss my ass. 1.00

01:15:05.500 Amen. 1.00

01:15:06.100 And it says Jesus on the back.

01:15:07.540 No, I'm not going to do that.

01:15:10.220 Because that makes absolutely no sense at all.

01:15:12.060 I'm not going to do that.

01:15:12.420 Can I see your receipt?

01:15:13.800 Mm-mm.

01:15:14.380 No, because they see.

01:15:15.020 Oh, by the way, why does she steal? 1.00

01:15:15.840 She has a Cadillac.

01:15:16.860 She didn't steal. 1.00

01:15:17.720 I don't think she stole.

01:15:18.440 Unless she stole the Cadillac, too.

01:15:19.720 This officer has a really high voice, by the way.

01:15:33.820 You got all these kids in here.

01:15:35.480 You left in here by yourself.

01:15:36.640 Do you want me to push this further?

01:15:38.300 Well, you went in the store.

01:15:39.440 They're not little kids.

01:15:40.680 They are little kids.

01:15:41.740 And you left them all in the store.

01:15:42.920 And what are you going to do when you go to jail and they're all here?

01:15:44.880 So I called DCF to come get them all?

01:15:46.160 I don't know.

01:15:47.840 Okay, so I don't have to call you.

01:15:49.000 It's your shoplifting with your kids, man.

01:15:52.800 They're my sister kids.

01:15:53.760 They'll call her to come get her kids. 1.00

01:15:54.820 They're my sister kids.

01:15:57.580 Why don't you show me your receipt?

01:15:58.880 Because publics and everybody in there. 0.75

01:16:01.920 I'm on the side.

01:16:03.780 I'm on the side.

01:16:04.500 No, you have to call your sergeant.

01:16:07.000 You're going to go.

01:16:07.860 You're going to go.

01:16:08.000 You're going to go.

01:16:08.180 You're going to go.

01:16:10.000 No, I'm not.

01:16:10.620 Yes, you are.

01:16:11.100 No, I'm not.

01:16:11.600 Give me your receipt.

01:16:12.340 I'm not giving you my receipt.

01:16:13.540 That's amazing.

01:16:13.780 Come on.

01:16:14.040 No, I'm not.

01:16:14.940 No, I'm not.

01:16:15.220 I'm on the side.

01:16:16.280 No, I'm not.

01:16:16.760 You're going to jail.

01:16:17.960 No, I'm not.

01:16:18.560 You are going to jail.

01:16:19.480 No, I'm not.

01:16:20.080 I'll tell you what I'm doing.

01:16:20.600 To be fair, I throw my receipt away like a video.

01:16:22.000 No, I'm not going to jail.

01:16:22.280 No, I'm not.

01:16:23.240 Call your mama.

01:16:24.860 I don't even get a receipt.

01:16:26.200 I do love that.

01:16:28.280 Come on.

01:16:28.780 No, I'm not.

01:16:29.560 I'm going to tase you. 0.95

01:16:30.760 I'm going to tase you right here right now. 0.95

01:16:32.460 They're not my kids.

01:16:33.280 They came with the car.

01:16:34.540 Get out of the car.

01:16:35.920 Get out of the car.

01:16:37.460 You're under arrest.

01:16:38.740 You're under arrest.

01:16:39.660 I'm under arrest for what?

01:16:40.680 Get out of the car.

01:16:41.260 I'm under arrest for what?

01:16:42.400 Turn around.

01:16:42.880 Call your mama.

01:16:43.500 Turn around.

01:16:44.500 What I'm under arrest for?

01:16:45.820 Turn around right now for not cooperating.

01:16:46.820 Call your mama.

01:16:47.520 I don't know who she is.

01:16:48.440 I don't know if she was talking to her son.

01:16:52.560 Is he going to tase her?

01:16:53.820 Is he going to do it?

01:16:54.280 Oh, she did.

01:16:56.040 Get down on the ground.

01:16:56.840 Get down on the ground.

01:16:58.480 Get down on the ground. 0.83

01:17:00.520 Put your hand behind your back right now.

01:17:02.320 Give me your other hand.

01:17:04.800 Right now.

01:17:06.800 Lay on your face. 1.00

01:17:08.280 Oh, shit. 1.00

01:17:11.480 Everybody else is still in there. 0.99

01:17:12.920 Thank you.

01:17:13.520 All right.

01:17:13.880 All right.

01:17:14.140 We've seen enough.

01:17:14.740 Let's list this up.

01:17:15.280 Yeah, I think we got it.

01:17:15.880 I think we got it.

01:17:16.320 I'm probably going to watch it.

01:17:17.420 Jesus.

01:17:18.820 Go on, Peg.

01:17:19.240 By the way, I'm –

01:17:20.240 No, I am on her side. 0.99

01:17:25.260 Right when she said, fuck Publix and everyone in there, I was like, yes, absolutely. 1.00

01:17:31.420 That's fucking – 1.00

01:17:31.880 Preach. 0.99

01:17:34.060 I mean, honestly, it was kind of weird.

01:17:37.180 I don't know.

01:17:38.180 I don't know because, I mean, can you just be like, hey, I had to see your receipt.

01:17:44.740 Can a cop just come and be like, I had to see your receipt.

01:17:46.440 Like, no, I don't think –

01:17:47.560 Yeah, that seems weird.

01:17:47.940 I don't think you have to prove your innocence if he doesn't have probable cause.

01:17:50.980 Like, did he see her steal?

01:17:52.860 Because I don't think he saw her steal.

01:17:54.780 So –

01:17:55.180 No, it makes – it really doesn't make any sense.

01:17:57.600 It's really like – 1.00

01:17:57.820 I'm just going to pick because she's being such a bitch, honestly. 1.00

01:18:00.800 But what are you supposed to do there? 0.99

01:18:02.820 What would you do?

01:18:04.280 I don't know. 0.99

01:18:04.760 Talk to him reasonably, not like a raging, overweight black woman. 1.00

01:18:08.840 No, no. 0.99

01:18:09.740 That's not the – no, no.

01:18:11.400 No.

01:18:11.840 Because she did the exact right thing.

01:18:13.480 Yeah, she was like, no, I don't have to show you anything.

01:18:16.220 Yeah, I agree. 1.00

01:18:16.940 You tell him to fuck off and then you clap as loudly as possible. 1.00

01:18:19.500 Or you say, I ain't doing what the fuck you want me to do, you pig fucker, you. 1.00

01:18:25.060 Yeah, that'll work out well for you. 1.00

01:18:26.960 I'll do what I say I did.

01:18:28.560 I don't do what I say I did. 1.00

01:18:31.660 Fuck everybody up in that motherfucking Publix, bitch. 1.00

01:18:36.100 They ain't my kids. 1.00

01:18:38.420 And do that steal even though I hate Publix. 0.99

01:18:41.420 Like, I hate cops, but it's also – I also think you're fucking retarded if when you don't get pulled over, you aren't like, well, hello, officer. 1.00

01:18:48.380 What is it you need today? 1.00

01:18:49.640 Like, you're an idiot. 1.00

01:18:51.480 Like, why would you be fucking aggressive with someone who has your entire fate in their hands? 1.00

01:18:57.580 The first thing I do when a cop walks up to my car window, I always, I always roll down the window just an inch and I go, you know I pay your fucking bills, right? 1.00

01:19:07.800 You deserve me, bitch. 1.00

01:19:09.800 And then I roll my window up and I wait for them to shoot. 1.00

01:19:12.320 That's fucking awesome. 0.99

01:19:12.980 Here's the thing. 0.99

01:19:14.720 Here's why I think she's innocent. 0.98

01:19:16.360 One, black people don't shop at Publix, okay? 1.00

01:19:19.080 And so if they do, they have to be at a certain wealth class. 0.98

01:19:22.420 And then doubly, I saw that she was driving a Cadillac.

01:19:25.420 You have to be a criminal.

01:19:26.040 So two things.

01:19:27.380 Maybe so.

01:19:27.960 But the Cadillac also is the other thing.

01:19:30.360 Like, it's just you had to be at least some sort of class enough to where she would –

01:19:34.780 No, no, that's not true.

01:19:35.560 If there was videos, you know, if this video is more than a year ago, you were able to get a Cadillac loan for 0% interest.

01:19:40.520 This was February 2020.

01:19:43.680 February 2020?

01:19:44.520 Yeah, there was 0% interest at the time.

01:19:46.120 So that doesn't mean that she has any money. 0.99

01:19:47.480 You know how often it is, black people, like, everything else is awful when they have a dope-ass car? 1.00

01:19:52.220 Like, let's be real. 0.99

01:19:53.400 Also, I have heard –

01:19:54.540 There's a term for it, actually.

01:19:55.740 I do have friends that work at Enterprise, and they told me that their biggest time, their biggest selling point of the year, every year, it doesn't matter, is Tax Return Weekend, is their biggest weekend.

01:20:07.960 That in the first of the month.

01:20:10.060 Dude, they come in, and they drop, like, $300 on a fucking BMW or Mercedes for the weekend and be like, okay, and then just drive it around just to go to the clubs. 0.98

01:20:20.280 That's it. 0.99

01:20:20.820 By they, you mean Asians, right?

01:20:22.780 Yeah, Asians. 0.97

01:20:23.460 Yes, Asians come in there. 1.00

01:20:26.740 Totally, fiscally irresponsible, as Asians are. 1.00

01:20:30.560 You all know how high time preference the Asian people are. 0.99

01:20:34.520 Toad, what was your vote?

01:20:36.720 It depends on whether or not she actually did shoplift. 1.00

01:20:41.800 And because she's black, she did, so pig. 1.00

01:20:45.220 I mean, I'm torn on her innocence, but just the way she handled that was retarded, so I just have to default to pig on that one. 1.00

01:20:52.920 Here's the thing. 0.72

01:20:53.720 Here's the thing.

01:20:54.100 I was thinking about this.

01:20:54.800 Do you remember that video?

01:20:56.020 I was thinking about this today.

01:20:57.320 Do you remember that video?

01:20:58.280 Like, it came out, like, three or four, maybe five years ago now, of that woman.

01:21:03.040 It was a black woman, and she was telling her kid.

01:21:04.960 It was in the backseat.

01:21:05.700 She was videoing herself, and she said, you do not talk to the police officers.

01:21:09.520 You don't give them an ounce of respect.

01:21:10.740 You don't do anything. 1.00

01:21:11.400 And I remember at the time, I was like, man, fuck this lady. 1.00

01:21:15.280 You respect the police. 1.00

01:21:15.980 Now I'm thinking about it.

01:21:16.720 I'm like, I almost would tell my kid that. 1.00

01:21:18.580 Be like, don't fucking respect police officers. 1.00

01:21:21.560 Fuck them. 1.00

01:21:22.660 I mean, I would tell my kids to fake respect them. 1.00

01:21:25.340 Yes, exactly.

01:21:27.060 Yeah. 1.00

01:21:27.460 Like, figure out how to put a veneer of, like, being the biggest fucking, you know, cop sucker 1.00

01:21:34.060 in the world. 1.00

01:21:34.920 But deep down inside, you hate the guys. 0.80

01:21:37.080 Yeah, blow them.

01:21:37.500 I did get a couple TikToks, well, YouTube shorts today.

01:21:41.840 That was a, he was a drug, he was a drug mule, and he was talking about how he got, whenever

01:21:47.700 he did get pulled over, how to, like, treat the cops.

01:21:50.880 And he was always like, whenever they come up there, always just be like, admit to what

01:21:54.200 you did immediately.

01:21:55.440 Just be like, yeah, I'm so sorry.

01:21:56.940 No, no, no, no.

01:21:57.440 You know what you're going to do, Mitch?

01:21:58.620 No, no, no.

01:21:59.120 What he said, it would be like, if you, no, like he said, I'll be driving down, and I'll

01:22:03.360 be going, like, 20 over, and they'll pull me over around turn.

01:22:05.660 And right when they get up there, be like, I'm sorry, officer, I know it was going way

01:22:08.840 too fast around that turn.

01:22:09.860 That's my bad.

01:22:10.040 Yeah, something like that.

01:22:10.620 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:22:11.160 And he was like, also, here's another thing.

01:22:12.840 He was like, put a, like, he's just so many.

01:22:15.520 Put on lip gloss.

01:22:16.320 No, he was like, because so many, like, officers were former military, he was like, always put

01:22:23.680 like, some sort of military sticker on the back of your car.

01:22:26.680 He was like, it could be Marines, it could be anything.

01:22:28.280 He said, I had a Marine sticker on the back of my car.

01:22:30.560 He said, I got pulled over.

01:22:31.820 And he said, the cop came up, and he was just like, hey, man, did you serve?

01:22:38.220 And he was like, I'm on my way to enlist right now.

01:22:42.420 And the cop let him off with a warning.

01:22:45.860 Oh, that's awesome.

01:22:46.660 I just had the funniest idea in the world.

01:22:50.220 What?

01:22:50.780 Are you ready?

01:22:51.600 Yeah.

01:22:52.280 Brace yourselves.

01:22:53.320 Okay.

01:22:54.200 This is to all of our KKK listeners out there. 0.93

01:22:56.740 What I want you guys to do is to foster black children. 0.56

01:23:01.700 Okay. 0.97

01:23:03.120 Now, I want you to treat them nicely.

01:23:04.880 And I want you to love them.

01:23:06.140 I want you to raise them properly.

01:23:07.760 But when it comes to advising them on how they interact with the police, I want you to teach

01:23:12.660 them how to quick draw their wallet.

01:23:15.260 Oh, God.

01:23:19.520 I want them to keep the registration, please.

01:23:21.400 Here you go.

01:23:21.800 By the way, the best way to de-escalate this situation, though, is to give the cop the

01:23:29.480 mythical one.

01:23:30.780 Dude, Clint, that's genius, because you'll get such a good settlement out of that.

01:23:33.980 Yeah, dude. 0.99

01:23:34.800 You get rich, and you get rid of another black person. 1.00

01:23:38.360 Oh, my God. 0.97

01:23:41.120 I thought of this, like, two minutes ago, and you guys were talking, so I just had to

01:23:44.720 sit on that one. 0.85

01:23:45.360 I was like, that is such a fucking funny idea. 0.99

01:23:48.200 Just being this, like, super racist. 0.98

01:23:51.080 That, like, has long, long time horizons.

01:23:53.160 Yeah, you got to do what they say like that, dude.

01:23:54.940 You listen to them, and you do it quick.

01:23:57.400 Everything that you do.

01:23:58.820 Always quick motions.

01:24:00.400 Always be fast.

01:24:01.360 Always.

01:24:02.200 Yeah.

01:24:03.460 Like this. 0.99

01:24:04.380 And you train them on their quick trigger muscle fibers and shit. 0.99

01:24:08.020 Yeah. 0.99

01:24:08.840 That's all you do.

01:24:10.300 And you train them.

01:24:11.400 Every day, you spend, like, at least 15 minutes before bed, and you just teach them how to

01:24:15.000 move as quickly as possible when cops arrive.

01:24:17.680 No.

01:24:18.300 Yeah.

01:24:18.820 Clint.

01:24:19.080 Always keep the license restriction between the seat and the middle console.

01:24:25.560 Oh, it gets better.

01:24:26.160 You also teach them that the police are all hard of hearing.

01:24:32.720 You don't ever explain why, but you just explain to them that they're hard of hearing.

01:24:36.260 You have to move fast, and you have to talk a lot.

01:24:40.300 Also, you do just...

01:24:41.620 What do you think?

01:24:44.740 You also just, like you said, with the window going down just an inch.

01:24:47.960 You're like, cops deal with a lot of stinky cars, and you don't know if your car is stinky

01:24:52.080 because you always use it.

01:24:53.000 You just put it down just an inch.

01:24:54.740 They don't have to smell your car.

01:24:56.480 They don't want to smell your stinky car.

01:24:58.160 You put it down just an inch.

01:24:59.460 And that's also why you have to yell so loud and be so quick.

01:25:02.680 To show them quickly, hey, I'm good.

01:25:05.660 You don't allow them any time to get the wrong assumption about you.

01:25:08.840 No.

01:25:09.080 So you slam your hand up against...

01:25:10.960 You slam your wallet with your license up there, but you got to make sure that your wallet

01:25:16.520 is black as night.

01:25:20.900 Dude, you could get such a good sob BLM story out of that. 0.94

01:25:24.660 In fact, you got to get one of those metal wallets called.

01:25:28.960 Get one of those.

01:25:30.500 Can you imagine if you're a cop and you blow away and it is in as a wallet? 1.00

01:25:34.220 You're like, fuck! 1.00

01:25:35.540 Son, son, do not keep your hands on the steering wheel. 1.00

01:25:38.200 That makes the cop think that you're trying to drive away.

01:25:40.780 Do not do that.

01:25:41.760 Keep your hands where they can't see them so they know that they're not on the steering wheel.

01:25:47.220 Keep your left hand in your pocket and your right hand within the armrest.

01:25:51.640 You put your hand in there, but you keep it closed because you don't want them to be concerned

01:25:54.460 about what you're getting.

01:25:55.020 No, you don't want them to think that you're going to try to drive away real quick.

01:25:57.420 You don't want them to think that.

01:25:58.580 Because you could have your car keys in there.

01:25:59.900 So you keep your hand in there.

01:26:00.840 Yes.

01:26:01.240 Because obviously you can't get your hand up.

01:26:03.020 You won't be a threat.

01:26:03.860 And then as soon as he gets to the window, you're still...

01:26:05.520 You know what else I like about this game, though?

01:26:15.540 Clint refuses to say any variation of nigger, so he won't say nigg either, so he has to 1.00

01:26:21.100 vote pig every time. 0.98

01:26:21.620 I said earlier. 0.97

01:26:22.780 I said the name of the game.

01:26:24.200 Tyler said, have your wall under the front seat.

01:26:26.380 Yeah, so you bring it out real quick and you bring it out.

01:26:30.620 All right.

01:26:31.700 All right.

01:26:32.120 I got one more of these here.

01:26:33.320 I don't know how many minutes of this one.

01:26:36.160 I'm going with pig on that one just simply because any time I see a cop that uses a

01:26:40.300 taser, that's restraint.

01:26:42.520 That's obviously good policing, and I feel like that's the least... 1.00

01:26:46.540 Also, I'm pretty sure he tased her in her vagina. 1.00

01:26:49.680 He definitely... 1.00

01:26:50.800 I thought it was in his stomach.

01:26:52.580 And that's a cop that cares.

01:26:53.960 That's a cop that cares because that might be sexually...

01:26:56.600 I mean, it's not like tasers are really that bad. 0.98

01:26:58.960 It was basically an orgasm for her.

01:27:00.440 I mean, it was just like stimulating.

01:27:01.820 That's basically what it was.

01:27:03.000 I mean, it wasn't that bad. 1.00

01:27:03.640 That was the first time anyone touched her pussy and didn't let him just give a mythical. 1.00

01:27:07.320 Dude, dude, she gave the cops a mythical, man. 1.00

01:27:10.880 JC said, also, cops all barely pass high school. 1.00

01:27:13.360 We used to talk to them like they're retarded. 0.99

01:27:17.000 Loud, like they're retarded, and you move fast. 1.00

01:27:19.440 Yeah, and you move fast. 0.93

01:27:20.540 That's right.

01:27:21.780 They like to be kept on their toes.

01:27:22.920 You want them to kind of...

01:27:25.560 All right.

01:27:26.200 This other one is also somewhere in Ohio.

01:27:29.120 I have not actually watched this one yet, but I know that the backstory...

01:27:34.100 I want to foster dozens of black kids.

01:27:35.960 I love the thought of giving people bad advice.

01:27:38.880 It's really high.

01:27:40.620 It's like, Oscar...

01:27:41.920 Basically, suicide by cop.

01:27:46.020 We're not watching all 10 minutes of this, by the way, Tony.

01:27:48.060 No, no, we won't.

01:27:48.880 I don't know where the action happens in this video,

01:27:51.120 but the backstory of those...

01:27:52.880 The cops were called because this guy was suspected in a burglary.

01:27:57.480 I like his burglary.

01:27:59.320 All right.

01:28:00.020 So then once you slam your head up against... 1.00

01:28:02.440 Damn it. 0.99

01:28:08.120 These are all making me really pro-cop, by the way. 1.00

01:28:12.760 Hey, if this was pig or wig for wigger, 1.00

01:28:17.240 I'd be on the wigger side every time. 1.00

01:28:18.840 I just said that. 0.80

01:28:19.620 I just didn't know what it took you.

01:28:20.520 That's just Clint trying to use a dolly.

01:28:24.020 They already paid.

01:28:26.220 Yo! 1.00

01:28:27.080 He just...

01:28:27.840 Dude.

01:28:31.420 Bro.

01:28:31.780 I know.

01:28:32.200 I might have to go Nick. 0.99

01:28:33.020 This dude's got some big dick energy. 1.00

01:28:34.520 Holy shit. 1.00

01:28:35.620 He's just walking away. 1.00

01:28:37.380 Yeah, like, fuck you. 1.00

01:28:38.260 How little dick energy is that cop for just walking there with him? 1.00

01:28:46.680 He's just like... 0.99

01:28:48.040 And the cop is also a Nick, by the way.

01:28:57.480 Oh, wait.

01:28:59.580 Is he?

01:28:59.960 Maybe he's...

01:29:00.500 I don't even know. 0.62

01:29:01.480 He's definitely black.

01:29:02.360 Yeah. 0.92

01:29:02.840 All right.

01:29:03.120 I don't know, man.

01:29:05.600 It could be the lighting.

01:29:07.960 No, it's not Toad.

01:29:09.760 No.

01:29:10.080 It's not Toad.

01:29:15.200 I don't know.

01:29:18.580 That might have been...

01:29:19.640 That might have been...

01:29:20.900 That's pretty crazy for them just to keep walking with him.

01:29:26.220 Like, this is so...

01:29:27.120 Oh, dude.

01:29:29.740 This dude's awesome. 1.00

01:29:31.220 Holy shit. 1.00

01:29:32.200 Bro. 1.00

01:29:33.160 Dude, PCP is fucking rad. 0.99

01:29:34.960 Dude, this guy's like Michael Myers, man. 1.00

01:29:36.880 Holy shit. 1.00

01:29:37.360 I don't even care what's going on. 0.99

01:29:39.280 It's like... 0.99

01:29:40.480 Fucking stop. 1.00

01:29:42.400 Holy shit. 1.00

01:29:44.200 This goddamn dude's superhuman. 1.00

01:29:45.980 Oh, my God. 1.00

01:29:50.760 Honestly, though, would you not...

01:29:52.220 If you did get tased and then you could walk through it,

01:29:54.920 that's what you would do.

01:29:55.600 You'd be super pissed off. 1.00

01:29:58.400 Holy shit. 1.00

01:30:01.160 This is... 1.00

01:30:01.840 By the way, Tyler says Black Neutrals is strong.

01:30:04.140 This is Black Neutrals, by the way. 0.97

01:30:05.220 This is...

01:30:06.400 Yeah.

01:30:07.120 Sorry, hold on.

01:30:11.980 Oh, they're bringing the third cop to tase him?

01:30:14.500 I wonder if that's going to work.

01:30:17.500 If you tase him enough, man, I don't know.

01:30:19.860 If you have a gem in the center of your forehead,

01:30:21.660 a taser doesn't work. 0.83

01:30:22.400 If the gem gets all the electric energy.

01:30:26.240 Yep.

01:30:26.700 I don't know.

01:30:27.060 Watch out. 0.97

01:30:27.400 He can shoot it back out at you.

01:30:29.840 The cops are showing a lot of restraint here, man. 0.92

01:30:32.860 They are.

01:30:33.760 Did they hit him again? 1.00

01:30:35.060 Shoot him again. 1.00

01:30:36.180 He got him in the face. 1.00

01:30:37.740 He got him in the face.

01:30:39.040 Or maybe he was saying he got him in the face.

01:30:45.480 Oh, is that a bike cop?

01:30:48.400 Yeah, yeah.

01:30:49.680 Cop pulls up.

01:30:50.580 He's like, we have ran over 100,000 volts through this dude.

01:30:54.980 Oh, my God.

01:30:56.760 Dude, they got a taser four times. 1.00

01:30:58.940 Holy shit. 0.99

01:30:59.400 This guy is awesome. 0.99

01:31:01.500 I'm going nig all the way on this. 0.99

01:31:03.360 Yeah.

01:31:03.920 I don't even care about it. 0.99

01:31:05.260 You're going to murder someone in the middle of the street. 0.58

01:31:07.240 Dude, this guy is awesome. 1.00

01:31:08.420 Holy shit. 1.00

01:31:10.120 I hope they have an entire fucking parade of cops tasing this guy. 1.00

01:31:16.140 Looks like the fucking New York City cop parade going down Central Avenue or whatever the fuck. 1.00

01:31:22.240 The only way this could be better is if it was on Martin Luther King Jr. Boulevard. 1.00

01:31:25.560 I believe this is Cleveland.

01:31:28.040 I'm not sure. 0.84

01:31:29.100 He's so black, he's faster than them just walking. 0.99

01:31:32.060 That's amazing. 0.99

01:31:36.720 All these white guys can't keep up. 1.00

01:31:38.280 They're like, damn, he's fast. 0.99

01:31:44.100 I don't get why they're actually ligaments. 0.98

01:31:46.120 Our cars are still a sexy man.

01:31:47.480 Just tackle him. 1.00

01:31:48.740 What the fuck? 1.00

01:31:49.660 Yeah, this is very weird. 1.00

01:31:50.760 This is the weirdest way to treat, like, just slowly walk.

01:31:55.900 We're not going to brutalize him. 0.59

01:31:56.880 We're just going to taser him until his heart stops. 0.99

01:31:59.000 I mean, to be fair, like, they're probably like, this motherfucker's been tased like ten times. 0.99

01:32:03.260 You want me to apprehend him? 1.00

01:32:04.520 Are you in your fucking mind? 1.00

01:32:06.600 Oh, what are they doing now? 1.00

01:32:07.560 Hands up!

01:32:08.780 I believe he does get one hands on that front.

01:32:12.080 I feel like there should be a rule.

01:32:13.460 If you get tased five times and you keep walking, you get to leave.

01:32:16.040 Yeah, you're just there.

01:32:18.660 Like, no matter what you did.

01:32:19.740 Like, you're better than us.

01:32:21.900 You get to go.

01:32:23.320 Joe said this is the new Jon Jones training footage, right? 0.99

01:32:28.060 Yeah, this is like GTA or some shit, man. 0.98

01:32:30.340 Yeah, this is amazing. 0.99

01:32:32.080 How...

01:32:32.680 I love the bike. 0.99

01:32:33.500 The bike cop is the fucking best. 0.99

01:32:35.400 Rolling in there, just fucking... 1.00

01:32:37.840 Multiple bike cops. 1.00

01:32:39.300 Yeah, they have a lot of them.

01:32:40.880 One of them is Tyler, actually.

01:32:42.440 He must not be wanted for anything super serious.

01:32:44.480 Otherwise, they would have pulled a real gun by now.

01:32:46.400 He was wanted for a burglary.

01:32:50.260 Well, burglary is pretty serious, but...

01:32:52.400 And then he does wind up getting arrested and charged with burglary and multiple accounts

01:32:57.700 of assault.

01:32:58.480 Assault on police officers.

01:33:00.560 Did they take him down at some point?

01:33:01.800 Do we get to see it or no?

01:33:02.600 Yeah, skip forward.

01:33:03.940 Skip forward, Joe.

01:33:04.480 See if you can find where they take him down. 0.98

01:33:05.900 Because I don't want to see you just watch the black guy walk. 0.99

01:33:10.100 I mean... 0.97

01:33:11.120 Go outside and watch that if I wanted to.

01:33:15.540 I don't know.

01:33:16.260 You're in Alabama.

01:33:17.280 You can go watch baseball. 1.00

01:33:19.520 Fucking hit him with a car. 1.00

01:33:22.800 And the car just explodes and he keeps walking. 1.00

01:33:25.900 He just like fucking just... 0.99

01:33:27.720 I get it. 1.00

01:33:28.820 He just fucking stiff arms it. 0.99

01:33:30.940 This is what it looks like when a black dude in the hood realizes that he's Neo. 0.99

01:33:34.420 Oh, this is whenever you're in a video game and you fight the boss whenever you're like

01:33:39.880 level one.

01:33:40.700 Like, he just keeps tanking all your shots.

01:33:43.300 I mean, just nothing.

01:33:44.620 Ah!

01:33:46.020 Yeah, if you want to watch a black guy walk, by the way, you can just watch footage of

01:33:49.920 Barry Bonds.

01:33:52.260 Good one, Joe.

01:33:53.080 That's a great sports joke right there.

01:33:54.800 I know, isn't it?

01:33:55.720 Who's killing it?

01:33:59.360 I guess...

01:33:59.960 Okay, I guess it does show them, actually.

01:34:03.160 That's disappointing.

01:34:03.900 Dude, they... 1.00

01:34:04.440 Holy fuck! 1.00

01:34:07.000 Didn't they all taste them at once? 1.00

01:34:08.320 You just hear like 20 tasers long.

01:34:11.680 And him just going... 1.00

01:34:12.900 Oh, fuck! 1.00

01:34:15.700 Yeah, there's 10 cops. 1.00

01:34:17.100 There's like 10 cops trying to fucking take that guy down. 0.98

01:34:20.120 That's amazing. 0.98

01:34:21.280 Dude, I am on his side.

01:34:24.460 100%. 1.00

01:34:24.820 That guy could have raped my own mom. 1.00

01:34:26.880 I'd still want him to walk free. 1.00

01:34:27.800 Yeah, he...

01:34:29.340 Again, I think Clint was right in the fact that if you get tased five times, you're good

01:34:34.500 to go.

01:34:35.280 You made it.

01:34:36.320 You got past all...

01:34:37.380 Okay, whatever.

01:34:37.780 If you get tased once and you drop, you go to prison for the rest of your life.

01:34:41.320 I don't care if you're innocent.

01:34:42.440 But if you get tased five times and you keep walking, you walk for the rest of your life.

01:34:47.040 Yeah.

01:34:47.220 Dude, I'm going nig all the way. 0.91

01:34:48.800 I'm going nig, yeah, for sure. 0.99

01:34:50.180 That was just insane.

01:34:53.040 It is a very weird thing just to let him continue.

01:34:56.340 I guess the thing was they were going like, we can't shoot him because the BLM will be

01:35:00.860 in the streets tomorrow.

01:35:02.600 So we can only tase him, but if we can't get him down from that...

01:35:06.360 Jamie Foxx and the old Spider-Man.

01:35:09.660 Yes, hello, Top.

01:35:11.120 Oh, that's amazing.

01:35:12.460 All right, I'm going to go with the cops on this one.

01:35:15.320 I mean...

01:35:16.180 They showed a lot of restraint there.

01:35:18.700 They did.

01:35:19.040 They didn't gun that down.

01:35:21.540 Like, I'm not even really kidding this time.

01:35:23.340 Like, they showed a ton of restraint.

01:35:24.760 The guy's one-on-one of burglary. 0.99

01:35:26.460 They're launching fucking tasers at him. 0.99

01:35:28.400 He turns around, swings a skateboard at him. 0.99

01:35:30.240 Then he starts brutalizing cars, like, as he's walking.

01:35:32.820 I didn't think about that.

01:35:33.680 I forgot about the... 0.98

01:35:34.600 Dude, Kyle Rittenhouse would have just shot him dead, man. 0.97

01:35:37.540 Oh, yeah. 1.00

01:35:37.920 Kyle would have shot him. 0.91

01:35:38.600 I mean, Kyle would have shot him way before that. 0.81

01:35:40.640 And honestly, I would have been...

01:35:42.140 Dude, I don't know.

01:35:44.360 I'm going nig. 1.00

01:35:45.020 That dude is awesome.

01:35:46.720 Yeah, I'm going...

01:35:47.460 Just off pure awesomeness,

01:35:48.580 that guy 100% wins.

01:35:50.160 Yeah, I agree.

01:35:51.400 I would not want to fight him ever in my life.

01:35:54.120 I would rather...

01:35:54.880 Honestly, I'd rather fight Francis Ngannou than that guy.

01:35:57.680 That guy would not like...

01:35:59.140 Nothing could stop him.

01:36:00.040 I think this dude's my hero.

01:36:03.480 We should make, like, flags with him on it.

01:36:05.800 It literally inflects.

01:36:06.880 He's getting tased.

01:36:08.060 It literally took...

01:36:09.020 Don't tase on me.

01:36:10.520 It took a dozen cops to take him down.

01:36:12.720 That's not...

01:36:13.040 When he got up, it was just a pack of them.

01:36:14.840 He wasn't even trying to run.

01:36:16.620 He was just, like, walking. 1.00

01:36:17.580 Like, fuck. 1.00

01:36:17.880 Yeah, he was just fucking... 1.00

01:36:19.700 It's like, they can't say he was, like... 0.99

01:36:21.300 I guess they could say resisting arrest.

01:36:23.460 But they couldn't say he was trying to evade.

01:36:25.720 He was walking away.

01:36:27.560 This was Cincinnati, by the way.

01:36:29.780 I got that wrong.

01:36:30.740 And, yeah.

01:36:32.440 All right, guys.

01:36:33.520 We're at past an hour and a half. 1.00

01:36:35.380 You guys want to fuck out? 1.00

01:36:35.980 And I got pissed like a racehorse. 1.00

01:36:37.740 Yeah, I just want to recap. 1.00

01:36:38.760 I'm telling you, fucking cop. 0.99

01:36:39.740 Every single cop that was in those videos did their job properly. 1.00

01:36:44.660 And I backed the blue.

01:36:46.780 And cops are incredible.

01:36:48.380 And black people should listen to cops. 0.99

01:36:50.640 And they should quick draw every time they see them. 0.98

01:36:53.240 52-13, baby.

01:36:54.620 52-13.

01:36:56.220 That's all I got to say. 0.89

01:36:59.460 JC says, this is why every black character in comics shoots electricity. 1.00

01:37:03.660 Because they're just funneling the power of tasers.

01:37:06.540 Is that the new Ripaverse as well? 0.99

01:37:08.560 Did that guy in fucking... 0.99

01:37:09.640 No, he's just like a... 1.00

01:37:11.060 Almost...

01:37:11.860 I don't even know if he has powers.

01:37:13.040 I read the first issue.

01:37:14.000 It was all right, I guess.

01:37:15.020 I think it's now 1260, by the way.

01:37:18.240 It's not 1352 anymore.

01:37:21.720 I don't know what either of those numbers mean.

01:37:23.680 12% of the population commits 60% of the crimes.

01:37:27.160 Oh.

01:37:28.340 And now it's 1362?

01:37:30.760 Is that what you said?

01:37:31.060 Well, Joe Jorgensen...

01:37:33.960 I think it's 1260.

01:37:35.620 Well, Joe Jorgensen put out a thing.

01:37:37.880 I guess she was in Alabama for some reason.

01:37:39.840 With the Alabama LP.

01:37:41.460 And she put out... 0.89

01:37:42.060 Says, I take back the anti-racist thing.

01:37:44.060 No, no, no.

01:37:45.020 No.

01:37:45.560 She said that, like...

01:37:46.700 She said, like...

01:37:47.780 She literally said, like, basically, despite being only 12% of the population in Alabama,

01:37:54.240 like, black people make up, like, 50% of all... 0.89

01:37:58.940 Crimes in Alabama. 0.98

01:38:00.340 No, incarcerated in Alabama.

01:38:02.900 It was literally bad.

01:38:04.280 I was like, oh. 0.96

01:38:05.540 It was so fucking funny. 0.91

01:38:06.820 Well, why is that, Joe? 0.98

01:38:12.360 Disproportionate policing?

01:38:13.940 Obviously.

01:38:15.780 All right, guys.

01:38:16.660 Oh, I forgot.

01:38:17.360 Do plugs.

01:38:18.160 Yeah, plug it away.

01:38:19.980 Liberty Lockdown.

01:38:20.880 I just would highly recommend you guys check out.

01:38:22.800 If you don't know the backstory on Ukraine, seriously, watch this episode.

01:38:26.460 It's, like, it's just an hour.

01:38:27.920 It's pretty succinct.

01:38:28.600 I actually provide not just articles that I'm reading, but also videos with the audio and

01:38:33.120 everything.

01:38:33.580 So, like, if you actually watch it, it'll give you probably 75% of the backstory that

01:38:40.260 you aren't allowed to talk about.

01:38:42.260 I think it gives you enough counter-narrative.

01:38:44.660 Basically, Putin's totally good, right?

01:38:45.740 Is that what it comes to?

01:38:47.220 Not the conclusion I came to.

01:38:48.860 But if Putin was a cop, he would be awesome. 0.99

01:38:52.520 Damn. 0.99

01:38:53.340 That's a good comparison. 1.00

01:38:55.220 Putin is a cop. 1.00

01:38:56.360 Ukraine is a black guy. 0.99

01:38:58.600 Yeah, that is really the best way. 0.95

01:39:00.780 Like, a black guy is really good.

01:39:01.340 I think you know which side I'm on.

01:39:03.040 Right.

01:39:04.260 Like, I'm not necessarily pro-cop, but I get it.

01:39:08.940 Ukraine should stop grabbing for his wallet so fast. 0.78

01:39:12.900 All right.

01:39:13.420 Well, I'm Jose Galison of the No Way Jose Show.

01:39:16.520 I just had Clint Reed and the fucking top and Jeremy Kaufman on recently.

01:39:21.680 You should go check that out. 0.89

01:39:22.580 That was a fun one.

01:39:23.840 But, yeah.

01:39:25.440 And that's all I got.

01:39:26.040 Four pony boys.

01:39:26.680 We shall write again.

01:39:27.440 Four pony boys.

01:39:28.600 I had someone say it's better than the Four Horsemen. 1.00

01:39:30.420 So, suck it, Reed. 1.00

01:39:32.920 Ouch. 1.00

01:39:34.280 I like the group better, I'll be honest.

01:39:36.500 Nota4P on Twitter.

01:39:38.100 You can also find me being shouted out on Legion of Skanks.

01:39:45.080 That's about it.

01:39:46.580 Hell yeah.

01:39:48.720 Ukraine's not resistant.

01:39:50.180 TPH underscore toad.

01:39:56.040 Tower power hour, obviously.

01:39:58.200 We're back again next Wednesday with more antics.

01:40:01.100 And I was just on Jose's show last night.

01:40:03.300 We're doing a live reading of Hans-Hermann Hoppe, Democracy, the God that Failed.

01:40:07.600 So, I'll be on Jose's show for 30 episodes.

01:40:11.860 Ukraine.

01:40:13.000 You should comply.

01:40:14.280 Just comply.

01:40:14.680 P-Nor, we have a deal for you. 0.99

01:40:17.540 Fucking, like, a hundred bucks and you can come on the show. 0.99

01:40:20.980 A hundred dollars. 1.00

01:40:22.100 Yeah.

01:40:22.480 A thousand dollars and you actually get to stay on it.

01:40:24.860 Yeah, a thousand dollars.

01:40:25.620 You replace Toad.

01:40:26.520 If you give us a thousand dollars, you replace it.

01:40:27.800 I don't care.

01:40:28.460 Like, you get to go.

01:40:30.000 We will.

01:40:30.320 But you have to wear his face as a mask.

01:40:33.960 Oh, yeah, yeah. 1.00

01:40:34.720 You have to kill Toad, too. 1.00

01:40:36.040 Don't make me actually have to kill a homeless man. 1.00

01:40:39.440 No, no, no. 0.96

01:40:39.800 A thousand dollars. 0.99

01:40:40.560 You get to kill Toad. 0.97

01:40:41.720 He is contractually obligated to not resist. 0.99

01:40:45.440 He must be.

01:40:45.740 It was in the small print in your contract, but I'm sorry.

01:40:49.280 Well, we'll put a bet out.

01:40:50.800 It'll be whichever one of us loses our virginity first.

01:40:53.720 Well, then I won.

01:40:58.080 No, no.

01:40:58.520 Me versus P-Nor. 1.00

01:41:00.060 Yeah.

01:41:01.180 I mean, but like, it has to be consensual because otherwise P-Nor will definitely win. 1.00

01:41:05.920 I was just going to rate P-Nor. 1.00

01:41:08.680 All right, guys. 0.98

01:41:09.500 Let's get the fuck out of here. 0.96

01:41:11.040 All right. 0.96

01:41:11.760 Peace out.

01:41:13.020 Back to blue.

Tower Gang - October 14, 2022

Ep 92 - The Mythical

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